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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Lesbian Feels Anonymous 3502

Discuss the difficulties and joys of being lesbian, whether it's related to your partner or how you're treated by society. Share your stories of when you realized you were lesbian, too!

Anonymous 3503

Not about me but my sister is lesbian but can't come out to our dad because he has a hateboner for gay people. Most of the family knows but I don't know how to help her deal with him when the time comes to tell him. Any anons that came out as gay to their parent(s) got any advice?

Anonymous 3505

Any tips on how to meet older gay women? They seem not to be the type to use dating apps and websites, and I'm unsure how to find them. Do they even exist? Is my Carol out there?

Anonymous 3506

Maybe Facebook groups would be a better place to look for older lesbians rather than dating apps? I am a young lesbian, but just the whole culture of dating apps scares me away from using them.

Anonymous 3508

Her is a good phone app! >>3505

Anonymous 3510

Good call anon, I've had a look, doesn't seem to be much in them but I'll have another go.
I've tried Her! I thought it would be a bit more specific and may attract older women who wouldn't use Tinder etc., but no such luck.

Am I destined to a life without my middle-aged wife? Wow that rhymed. Maybe that's why I can't find anyone.

Anonymous 3512

>Am I destined to a life without my middle-aged wife?
If you wait 20 years I'll be middle aged and probably still alone. So I'm here, wifey.

Anonymous 3513

Beautiful, so will I. We can be powerful middle-aged wives together!

Anonymous 3539

I want a gf who cosplays with me but my dating pool is super normie.

Anonymous 3541

The dating pool by itself is so small, especially if you're trying to avoid girls who just wanna experiment with you, then dump you for a dick later.

Anonymous 3551


I'm bisexual but despise the whole "just wants to experiment but will always prefer dick" image that comes with it.
I genuinely want to find a girlfriend and wouldn't mind marrying a feminine woman and staying with her forever, but it seems like no lesbian will take a bisexual girl seriously.

Anonymous 3559

That's because a lot of bisexual girls make it about them being "bisexual". Part of the reason I would be wary about a bisexual girl is because I really can't deal with someone who talks about men in a way that indicates they're attracted to them. It's annoying to me, especially since I had to deal with people thinking I was strange or odd because I didn't find men attractive at all when I was younger. Part of the reason I love being lesbian is because other lesbians don't give a fuck about men, bi girls still do.

I'm not talking about cheating, by the way. I think that's a stupid stereotype to throw at bisexuals.

But see, having one person who's bisexual in this thread sort of derails it. I have no problem with bi girls who don't throw up their hands in the air mentioning they're bi.

I wish femme lesbians were more common. In that respect, I'm jealous of the gay community because they have super masculine guys paired up with other super masculine guys and that's normal, but it tends to be less common in the lesbian community.

Anonymous 3567


I dont hate bi girls and I would date someone but I would prefer to date a girl who feels the same way as me about things. My sexuality isnt a core to who I am or anything, i just feel comfortable/closer to a girl who is the same as me.
At the end of the day it doesn't matter so much. You're probably better off saying you're a lesbian if you plan on being with another girl long-term.

Anonymous 3572

Same here, anon. I've never met anyone IRL who has a problem with me being bi, it's only ever online. Idk, it's weird. I'd like to get married and I don't really have any preference as to which gender its with.

Anonymous 3574

I am bisexual, and I am a ~~real~~ bisexual, I'd definitely marry a woman and stay with her for the rest of my life without ever wanting a guy. I do think I have a slight preference for females though my dating history consists mostly of guys because I was raised in a strict gay hating community which made it hard for me to get to know women who liked me.

I do think bisexuals generally speaking love getting attention to themselves and their preference (look at my comment), just like >>3559 explained. I also posted >>3541 btw, that's probably my main problem when it comes to lesbian dating.

Anonymous 3579

I went to nyc with some family members and wandered off in the MOMA into an elevator. There were maybe seven or eight people in there, and two women at the front kissed each other and I could hardly see but I just couldn't stop looking. I think at that point I kind of had to realize it.

Anonymous 3581

What's wrong with just having fun with bisexual women? Why does it always have to involve romantic feelings or emotional involvement? Why not just mindless fucking?

Gay men seem to not nearly mind bisexual men as much as gay women do for bisexual women, which is why I'm asking

Anonymous 3582

I can't do the whole mindless fucking thing because I get way too emotionally involved way too quickly, but those of you who can, go for it.

Anonymous 3599

That's not the point. The point is it's well known in the "lesbian community" (whatever that is) that tons of bisexual women get involved with lesbians and dump them just to get with a guy, many times cheating. It's fucked up and I know you probably won't believe me, but there's a reason why that's so well known. The romantic involvement from both parties was implicit in my post, but yeah, if both parties are aware they don't want a romantic relationship that's fine, obviously.

Anonymous 3600

Sorry, I just noticed you weren't quoting me lol. My post still stands though.

Anonymous 3697

Anonymous 3719

Listening to Bette Davis Eyes and feeling those feelings. I would love to be married to another woman. Having a wife. How nice would that be.

Anonymous 3721

I'd love to have a confident, smart, fun, pretty girlfriend who loved me and wasn't ashamed of going out with me in this city full of homophobes, and who'd make me feel at ease with her even around my gay hating family.

Anonymous 3774


tfw desperate to move in with gf even though we have no money tfw mainly because i want constant sex and being as loud as possible with her 24/7
tfw just a fantasy that i have though. because she's been saying she'll move out of her parents since early 2016 and it still hasn't happened
tfw i want daily morning cuddles with her ;-;

Anonymous 3778


>lesbian thread

>not a relationship thread, literally a lesbian thread
>"i'm bi but-"

sigh. Every time.

I'm sorry that people have been rude to you for being bi, i do. I don't know how to explain it…

I guess to some, like me, it’s just a preference. there’s not much to it, its just what i look for in girls. someone who i can relate to easier and who has a similar idea of what they want in life. as in, you're bisexual so sure you can stay with a woman forever, but you could also meet a man, marry and have kids with him forever. Again, not saying that you WILL, but that’s still a possibility that you’re not against. i want to date someone who doesn't see that as a possibility in life (like me) and has similar idea of what they want.

basically, as the stereotypes might have shown you, some lesbians take relationships as SRS BUSINESS. and we get too attached and think about our future together in no time. so, to some like me who look for super intimate relationships it’s something we prefer. Then again, I’ve only been in long term relationships with girls. So that’s why I think like that. I’m sure other lesbians look for casual things or don’t think like that.

Also a final controversial/unpopular opinion: bisexuals girls are everywhere. Lesbians aren’t as common, and we mostly prefer dating each other. Don’t see why bi girls don’t date bi girls instead of complaining that we are mean to them tbh.

I’m sure most girls will disagree - But I’m only giving my two cents on why I prefer dating other lesbians. discussion on it could be fun!


agreed with all of this 100%.

and i cherish femme lesbians too. i'm a femme and i love femmes. its a difficult life but its so worth it.

Anonymous 3780

Uhauling is not a meme, honestly

Anonymous 3806


Sometimes I feel bitter about my sexuality. The only girl I can ever say I've truly loved didn't want me because she was "done being gay" after years of being a butch lesbian, and was into men now.

Hurts so badly. The guy she went for treated her like shit and dumped her out of the blue and I watched it all because I was so in love with her that I couldn't leave her alone. I listened to her talk about how he broke her heart for weeks in a row. Then she got with another prick who also treated her shit.

Being there only to watch her suffer, knowing that she knew my feelings, but that she was ignoring me for not having a penis… That was horrible.
I really wish I could find another girl who I could love deeply like that, but it seems so impossible. That was 2 years ago and I'm still whining.

Maybe the problem isn't just my sexuality but also the fact I'm an idiot.

Anonymous 3827

Watched Carol at an old-fashioned cinema yesterday. Forgot how much I love that film. It's so beautiful. When will I meet my Carol Aird. When.

Anonymous 3829

Oh my god, that movie is BEAUTIFUL. Everyone should watch it. I would do it right now, but I woke up feeling so lonely and like total shit due to brokenheartness so better forget about it for a few days.

Anonymous 3852


So, not to be mean, I'm not speaking for everyone, but I personally get envious that bi girls can just choose to go into a het relationship and be seen as normal, in the traditional sense. For me, I don't have that option, I can't just choose to like dick. I know it's getting to be seen as more and more normal, sure, but not everyone feels that way. It's much easier for bi girls to fulfill family needs too, like, I can't get pregnant normally with a female, which really made my parents sad. I also still have relatives that refer to it as a phase. For you, it could just be a phase, especially when you get to wanting children, you can just be in a het relationship.

Again, sorry for being rude or mean, I feel bad, really, but sometimes I just wish I could like men cause it would be easier…

Anonymous 3887

I really wish I had gay girl friends I could share feels and go to gay clubs with. A couple of my friends say they're bi but they never really seem interested in going to gay clubs, only go once in a blue moon and even then it feels weird because they never want to dance or anything like that. I always get the impression they're only doing it for my benefit and are never interested themselves. Going to local gay meetups also doesn't appeal to me as I feel most people would be much older than I am and would have so much more experience than I, when I haven't had any sexual encounters with a girl.

I'm also worried about using apps like Tinder or Her because while I think I'm fairly average looking, I'm pretty fucking fat at 185 lbs. Although I'm doing well at losing weight so far I don't feel cute enough to use those apps.

Anonymous 3925


I hope people can help me with this.

I grew up in a very strict, ultra religious household, around homophobic people and I have internalized homophobia too because of that, which makes me hate and/or feel disgusted with myself for loving women.

I have no idea if anyone here has dealt with that, I find it odd how I can't find many helpful info on this online and how many people get angry at the thought someone who is gay or bisexual feeling this way. It's not something you can easily change and it is even worse than you being an asshole to gay people around you 24/7 because you're an asshole to yourself all the time, you never get a break from yourself.

I am obviously not rude or discriminate anyone who isn't straight – the way I feel only applies to myself, so pls no bully.

It's just fucking so fucking tiring how I'm a grown woman who can't accept her sexuality. Therapy isn't a possibility for me at the moment. Any tips on how to accept myself a little better? Or have you gone through the same?

Anonymous 3926

I don't have any great suggestions, but perhaps positive affirmations could help.

I'm really sorry you are going through this anon, and hope things get better for you soon! :)

>>Cute giraffe btw

Anonymous 3927


I also don't have any great advice for you. Just remember that girls are fucking amazing and there is nothing wrong with you for recognizing that fact. If anything, it makes you more sane in my books. Also love is love you know? There is nothing evil or wrong about it. It doesn't hurt anyone. I hope you can overcome this self hatred eventually, anon.

Anonymous 3929


Since you can't have therapy right now, what I can say is that on the mean time, you should "fake it until you make it". It's an exercise that some therapists advice.

Take like, 3 minutes of your day everyday to be with yourself, put a nice relaxing music you like, have stuff with nice smells by your side, take a mirror and tell yourself repetedly that it is okay to like girls, to be a lesbian and to love yourself. I know it sounds cheesy, but doing stuff like that for a long period of time ingranes it into your brain and you end up believing it, even subconsciously. Kinda like an abusive partner telling someone constantly that they are useless, ugly and helpless makes the person start self doubting themselves and believing it. And the nice music/aromas/objects are for positive association. You can also take more time for this exercise in the future if you want to, and think about other stuff like having a nice life with another woman, etc.

Anyway, I hope you find your peace, anon.

Anonymous 3932

Try some lesbian fiction to remind yourself that girls kissing girls is normal.
San Junipero always cheers me up. Revolutionary Girl Utena, The Paying Guests, Renai Joshika, and Octave are also things I like.

Anonymous 3960

I would also recommend the Morinaga Milk manga Girlfriends, it's very cute portrayal of lesbian relationship!
I'm not sure if in the beginning the main heroine is not weirded out by being in love with a girl, but even if so, she moves on quickly. It's very heartwarming and cutesy.

Anonymous 3965


Aaaa thank you everyone for your replies! I've never had so much support on this IRL, so I'm happy for your words and will look into everything you girls mentioned. Have another baby giraffe.

Anonymous 4073

I feel like a fucking freak of nature. I want to have some girl on girl experiences so bad, but all my friends just think I'm weird and coming on to them all the time. How do straight girls have all those girl on girl experiences? They make it seem so easy an natural.

Anonymous 4086

>all my friends just think I'm weird and coming on to them all the time.
Maybe because that's how you're coming across? I mean if they're not into it don't keep trying to push it on them.

Anonymous 4091

Maybe try a lesbian dating app and say you want to experiment?

Anonymous 4297

I'm not the anon you suggested this to, but I'm reading girlfriends right now and it is so fucking pleasant.

Thank you very much anon, please suggest more comfy lesbian manga for my tired weary soul .

Anonymous 4344

Wow the mega faggots who can't get pussy were really bitter today

Anonymous 4345


Every guy who has ever posted on /r9k/, pua forums, the weird parts of reddit etc. need to be collectively rounded up and mowed down with assault rifles.
uwu a girl can dream~

Anonymous 4495


I miss my ex girlfriend.

Anonymous 4531

more than likely you will. or you will just die out

Anonymous 4641


I'm in love with a girl I know online and lives in another country. I'm always so nervous and weird when I talk to her, but I know she likes me back - we're not gfs though for a few reasons. I might go see her soon this year and I have no idea what to do to make her mine.

Anonymous 4642

Are you me from the past? This was me two years ago, like every word. I hope it works out for you, anon. My romance didn't work out because she had serious problems that weren't related to me or the distance issue. Just health problems that really took over her life. Wishing you luck! <3

Anonymous 4654

that stuff never works

Anonymous 4693

unnamed (18).gif

This has happened to me more than once:
>meet girl
>girl swears she's lesbian
>shortly after girl starts dating a man
>kinda irrelevant detail: it's usually a "manly" guy

Just wtf man. I know they're the only to decide whatever they want or who they are, but fuck? Where are the exclusively lesbians I can be sure won't go hopping on a dick after I blink? Is sexuality really fluid, is everyone secretly bisexual? Ugh.

With this said I am bisexual myself, I just have a strong preference for females and I let it be known when I'm meeting a girl I'm interested in. However I'm biased against my own kind. Internalized biphobia, call it whatever you like. I've met lesbians who were once in relationships with men for whatever reason but "found out" they were really lesbian – I guess that's not the type of girl I mentioned above, but I'm always a bit wary of those girls too.


Anonymous 4696

>but I'm always a bit wary of those girls too
get off your high horse, anon. Lesbians cheat on girls with other girls, too. It could also be that they say they're lesbian so you'll think they're "legit" when they're really bi and they know it. Do you have that approach also, or do you say you're bi with a preference for women?

I'd go into my stupid life story, but yes, I was one of those girls who thought they were bi, but realized they were definitely lesbian. Honestly, your hypocrisy annoys the shit out of me, but whatever, I don't feel like being shitty online right now.

Anonymous 4697

>"I don't feel like being shitty online right now"
But you were? Lol or just too honest, but i don't really care. I don't mind if you think I'm a hypocrite, i let all my possible partners know I am "bisexual" but that I have a strong preference for females. I say this because I've hardly ever felt attracted to men, and I don't really feel the same way about them as I feel about women. I don't have to explain all my romantic history to you to justify the way I feel, but basically it's almost impossible I'll get with a guy. I do say I'm bisexual just for the sake of complete honesty.

You can complain all you want but many lesbians don't want to get when bisexual women - just read the thread. Also I never said lesbians don't cheat, idk where you got that from.
You don't have to feel so personally hurt tbh.

Anonymous 4698

Bisluts will be bisluts tbh

Anonymous 4728

Recently I discovered that my cousin is a lesbian, after she apparently has been for years.
It really freaked me out. No one ever told me. She had her gf with her on a bunch of family events, but I always assumed it was platonic, because why wouldnt you?

Anyway my family was surprised I didnt know, but how the fuck would you be able to know, if everyone treats it like an open secret, but never mentions it?

She also dresses like a typical lesbian and is very much a kind of soft-, more rational sjw, but why woukd I assum that this makes someone a lesbian?

Anonymous 4735

Where are you from, anon?

Anonymous 4736

Worried that I might be talking about you? :^)

Anonymous 4737

No, it's just obvious you're a faggot robot.

Anonymous 4738

Nah. I have a social life. Spooky I know. There's a life outside the Internet. spooky ghost noises

Anonymous 4739

>Life outside the internet
Yeah. Keep telling yourself that after your first post. You either habit your room without ever leaving to see the sunlight or are a guy trying to bait. But whatever you say, anon.

Anonymous 4741

You are right. I actually have no social life. Don't have a single friend. ;__;

Anonymous 4742

>bisluts will be bisluts
Very nice feeling welcome, nonnie! The general biphobic sentiment makes it even more funny seeing some lesbians complaining ad aeternum about the lack of options in the dating pool, hooking up with the same set of women in rotation when in smaller towns, noticing their friends are hooking up with their exes, etc. Holy lack of self-awareness, Batman.

Anonymous 4752

can all bisexuals leave and make their own thread instead of complaining about lesbians, thanks

Anonymous 4757

images (1).jpeg

>dream about being in a band with a bunch of qt girls
>have a thing with one of them in secret
>she tells me she has a boyfriend and we need to stop seeing each other
>mfw cucked even in my dreams

Anonymous 5272

I've just came to the realization that I don't think I would want to date a girl who has any attraction to men whatsoever be it bi/pan whatever , and you really worded it perfectly as to why it's bothersome so thank you!! (I have so much hate for men I couldn't stand to be with someone who likes them)
I thought femme lesbians were more common? I have trouble finding butch lesbians !

Anonymous 6666

>Can't stop thinking about a girl who was toxic to me
>Sent her a message recently asking her out for coffee
>No response
Probably for the best, but I miss my fiery girl.

Anonymous 6673

Oof, careful…

I feel like butch lesbians were more common <2000s
Femme is IN.

Anonymous 6675

Really? I'm femme and feel like I can't find any other femmes. At least butches are noticeable…

Anonymous 6677

Really wish a girl would eat me out tonight but I'm so lonelyyyy

Anonymous 6679

Don't do it anon, break your crazy bitch addiction. Meet a nice girl.

I'm femme and pretty much every other lesbian I know is as well.

Anonymous 6685


>tfw no gf

Anonymous 6687

God, don't you jut hate it when your clunge gets megaed by a dom butch with a snozzle cone on her strap? Just makes me razzle for a new landing site on my ractal, you know?

Anonymous 6690

That can change Anon, I believe in you!!

Anonymous 6693

>she responded
>we're going for coffee on Thursday
pray for me, lesbanon.

Anonymous 6696

I cannot pray for you. You've sealed your own fate.

Anonymous 6716

my cinderella story:
>be me
>about 20-ish, just getting into the j-fashion scene
>drive 3-4 hours to go to the biggest convention in my state in the hopes of meeting more lolitas
>short-haired blonde lolita in sweet is the best-dressed at the afternoon tea party but she's at another table so we don't interact
>later that evening, adult track is starting
>go to the rave in my lolita since i didn't pack more than three outfits on account of not having a hotel room, sleeping in my car
>blonde lolita stumbles up to me, clearly inebriated
>wha-? no, you
>she goes in for a kiss but
>tripping over her rocking horse shoes
>me being slightly less drunk, I try to catch her
>both of us are in impractical footwear, we topple over
>flurry of petticoats and giggling
>manage to help her up and get out of the rave room; put her in a chair and go for some water
>when i come back the on-scene paramedics are clustered around her
>freaking out because they're worried she has alcohol poisoning
>blonde lolita is still super chatty and trying to get me to go up to her hotel room
>lowkey worried that she's just hitting on me because she's drunk
>also the med team does seem really concerned about how much she drank
>probably not a good time to hook up
>reassure her that i'll see her tomorrow
>one of her friends arrives to help her upstairs
>never actually see her the next day or ever again

i've legitimately fantasized over what i could have done differently to get this girl's name or contact information or anything since but she was pretty incomprehensible. i even went so far as to join the local comm's facebook group, went through every single member in the hopes that i could find her again.
i've always known that i preferred women over men. for the most part, i have a really low opinion of men, and it's hard to love someone that you can't respect. women intimidate the shit out of me, though. unless i'm approached by the object of my affections with clearcut romantic intentions, i have no idea how to respond when i realize that i'm developing a crush. mostly i just stuff my feelings down a mental trash chute and pretend they don't exist, i guess.

Anonymous 6725

Maybe one day you'll cross paths again and it'll be cute.
Are there any upcoming meetups in the area?

Anonymous 6742

Why did you delete my joke mods -_-? Mixing lesbanon with Lebanon is a giggle.

Anonymous 6743

if it makes u feel better i saw it and liked it

Anonymous 6744

Anonymous 6767


This probably sounds pathetic but damn I'm jelly of lesbians and wish I could just make myself one. I prefer women's personalities, get along with women better, get overly attached to my female friends and would be fine with a lifetime partnership with a woman but the sexual attraction just isn't there.

I'm stuck having to deal with men and it sucks.

Anonymous 6768

Honestly me too (I hope that isn't offensive, I'm sorry if it is). Sometimes I think I do get some feelings for really butch women though…

Anonymous 6769



I kind of understand you. I'm definitely straight but sometimes I think it would be easier to partner with a woman. Be married but have no sexual contact (cuddling would be okay) but that's unlikely to ever happen haha.

I guess because of how I grew up I don't have much faith in hetero marriages. What I want more than sex is a life partner that will support, motivate and excite me as I do the same for them.

And for the record I don't feel that way because I can't find a guy. I have no problems dating and have had 2 marriage proposals that I said no to.

Anonymous 6770


And the thing that sucks is that there really isn't much way to make the space or acceptance for these types of potential pairings without also inadvertently harming social perceptions and spaces of/for lesbians. What would you even call that? Platonic lesbians? That sounds retarded.

tbh I would have seriously paired up with any of my past friends if there was any good way of proposing the idea but they all get boyfriends. This is a stupid, impossible endeavor.

Anonymous 6772

If I had that sort of relationship I wouldn't seek acceptance for it from anyone. Who needs to know that you aren't sexual together? It's not their concern. No need to have heteros or homos try to find a new category for us because why tell anyone in the first place? If gay marriage is legal there's no acceptance to fight for.

I think the hardest thing would be keeping it nonsexual. I think I would be fine without sex but what if my partner wants to fuck a guy, and then what if she gets baby fever? Plan ruined. It is a stupid endeavour.

Anonymous 6786

>Who needs to know that you aren't sexual together? It's not their concern.

I wish everyone thought this way.

Anonymous 6792

Well I've just never been the type of person who feels the need to justify any of my actions to anyone else. Especially matters that would never affect them.

Anonymous 6803


>the fact that bisexuals and straights shit up a lesbian thread

Anonymous 6821

Bisexual women don't exist.

Anonymous 6824


> tfw no female platonic bondmate

You lesbians are lucky

Anonymous 6826

No we aren't.

Anonymous 6827


>tfw no female platonic bondmate

Lmao. I know right.

Anonymous 6830

Domo arigato misuta roboto

Anonymous 6831

My cousin is newly out and wants me to take her someplace she can meet other lesbians. There aren't any dedicated lesbian bars in our city though (LA), more like dedicated nights and stuff. Anyone familiar with the area know of where I can take her for a night out where she can meet other girls?

Anonymous 6832


Does anyone else also have issues with straight girls trying to get an ego boost by teasing you? to feel attractive or something.

My straight roommate is overly clingy with me and knows I'm a lesbian. I never had a problem with us being super close before but she's doing it a lot more lately since I came out and it's kinda frustrating. She'll grab my breasts/ass out of nowhere or sit on my lap wearing lingerie and asking me if I like them on her, walks around half naked and is super physical all the time. She's not into me and is very clear about not finding girls attractive and for some reason she also gets annoyed when I'm the one who's too physical.

I feel awkward telling her to cut it out because even though she's not my type, her body is really hot and it actually turns me on lmao. I wouldn't mind as much if she actually wanted to fuck but since it's obviously for attention/to boost her own ego, it bothers me…

Anonymous 6837

Tell her to cut that shit out. Straight girls do this all the time, don't let her keep pulling this even if it's hot sometimes. If you let her do it she'll only use you for her ego.

Anonymous 6978

Bourèe 1.0.png

I gave up any will or hope to get into a serious relationship since my painful break up with my ex.
it's been like 5 years? and since I only got 2 brief
insignificant things and two "online girlfriends"!
Despite how cringy I feel about my own situation, every time I'm drunk or hitting the rock bottom hard of my depression, I start to think about her.
I mean I'm aware that we are not made to be together and the fact that we broke up was probably a good thing, but since I never reached that same level of complicity with any of these girls that I've been with.
like sharing the same interests, movies and music taste or the same sense of humor.
I feel like even if managed to reach that again I would probably manage to ruin it again, so sounds like a lot of trouble for a painful end?
So since I'm just a mess who just don't give a fuck or even try.
And on the other hand, I feel like I'm getting bitter and nonchalant about life?
the thing is I believe that lesbian relationships are more synced on a soulmate aspect than everything else and giving the dominating plasticity of our era we are kinda doomed ?!
nevermind, fuck this essay of whining, I'm so drunk that I'm Confounding this thing with a personal diary.

Anonymous 6980

Oneitis is painful, being a lesbian makes it harder tbh because the dating pool is so small and like-minded people are rare, but you're right it is mostly just in your head.
>So since I'm just a mess who just don't give a fuck or even try.
Don't do this. You're your own worst enemy and you're paving the rest of your life to be like that.
Work on your weaknesses when it comes to relationships and you'll find you attract people better for you. idk anon I know you didn't ask for advice but just hang in there.

Anonymous 7443

Any butches here kind of feel out of place in society? I don't relate to other women my age because I'm too masculine and they only want girlfriends they can do girly shit with, I can't befriend straight or bi men without them eventually developing feelings for me because "oooh cool tomboy", most gay men I know appear to be pretty lesbophobic and get angry at me/call me a hateful bigot for being gender critical (despite the fact that they themselves clearly hate the ftms who hit on them).

My only friends are two other lesbians I know, but aside from the fact that we like women we don't have that much in common personality-wise.

I just wanna be normal with a normal group of friends.

Anonymous 7448

idk, if you can hang out with lesbians you have nothing in common with other than being lesbian, you could probably stand to hang out with a few straight girls you don't have much in common with. I find it hard to believe that every single female in your age range wants to do 100% girly stuff 100% of the time.

Anonymous 10369

I was in line at my local grocery store and the cashier was this short and cuter version of saafiya nygard or however you spell her last name, and anyway, the cashier looked very reserved and quiet but she kept on looking at my face and smiling and I smiled back and I'm so deprived I keep on feeling like she was flirting with me. My male friend was with me and he had to scoot behind me and such and she didn't look at him once. The people before us she didn't smile at. Am I crazy for thinking she was flirting with me? My friend told me it could just be I'm attractive and that's why she was smiling. But her smile looked so cute and inviting, I really want to believe it's possible for girls to flirt with each other in public 2k18….

Anonymous 10372

It isn't?

Anonymous 10396

Why wouldn't it be?

Anonymous 82310


why is this thread dead? and why are so many girls on here into dudes? No offense but if you hate dudes why do you waste your time on them. I really do not understand.

Anonymous 82311

Just because you were born with an attraction to men doesn’t mean you have to like them.

Anonymous 82312

Unfortunately you can’t choose what you’re sexually attracted to. I’d love to be with a woman though, maybe i can troll myself into finding the female body sexually appealing if i look at it enough?

Anonymous 82315

Nearly all women are naturally attracted to other women imo, it’s a normal healthy state. You probably have some repressed internalized patriarchy stopping you from realising this or are simply in survival mode where you think if you don’t shack up with a male you will be in danger.

Anonymous 82317

Focusing on my own pleasure in a female body helped me stop giving moids the time of day and focus on reveling in the divine feminine which I feel much happier with now
you could also try to pavlov yourself
theres no point in spending time with people who make you miserable

Anonymous 82318

just cuz ur attracted to them doesn't mean you have to waste ur time on them

weak minded individual

Anonymous 82319

I don’t spend any time with men

Anonymous 82322

All of us have trauma from males or male doctrine trying to brainwash us in our childhoods.

Anonymous 82323

oh ok. carry on.

Anonymous 82325


Anonymous 82329

That’s true, i remember having crushes on boys AND girls throughout elementary school i stopped crushing on girls somewhere in the middle and dynamic shifted from peaceful to competitive when they started pitting us against each other

Anonymous 82331

A lot of female ‘competitiveness’ is really just frustrated or misguided sexual attraction and tension.

Anonymous 82332

Also brainwashing cause like i said, we get pitted very early on in childhood. Phrases like “You’re prettier than so and so” and “you’re better than other girls” “she’s jealous of you” actually gets into a little girl’s head and makes her paranoid and angry

Anonymous 82333

Oh 100%

Anonymous 96307

its so frustrating, everything is about men. every little thing. sometimes i cannot stand to be around straight women because i do not want to hear about their boy crushes or boy friends. and i kinda resent non lesbian women for all of the "i was a lesbian until i met my boyfriend <333" posts, its so gross do they not know that rhetoric like that gets lesbians raped and killed??? i always feel so left out. men have tried to "change" me online…. i was TEN. people just treat me as subhuman, even people in my own community. ive been made fun of for being a lesbian before… by bi women. gay men can also be so ignorant about our issues online ive seen so many of them say we dont get attacked violently that much?? thats just wrong??
i just hate feeling excluded from EVERYTHING, even my own community its crazy

straight men are the worst too, i think most of the hate ive recieved is from them. they scare me i do not get how people tolerate them, or any men at all.

Anonymous 96308

Im surprised there's so many hets on here too

being het and liking men just isnt natural. i am tired of hets shoving their straight agenda in my face its just not normal

just kidding i am the NUMBER ONE het ally

Anonymous 96442

What's your opinion on tattoos?

Anonymous 96445

i hate being a butch lesbian, i'm trying to let my hair grow and trying to use more feminine stuff. i never learn how to be a ''girly girl'' since i was the only girl in my home. im almost 25 and i cannot bring myself to be a butch anymore, any tips on what to do?

Anonymous 96446

Don't. I like butch lesbians. You're cool.

Anonymous 96447

do what YOU want, not what others want. do you feel like being femme because you genuinely want to be or because other expect you to?

Anonymous 96448


Anonymous 96450

>im almost 25 and i cannot bring myself to be a butch anymore

Anonymous 96452

i don't find myself beautiful, everytime i just look at the mirror and feel weird about the way i look. i want o feel pretty, like the girls i see online. it sucks, sounds stupid, but it's the motive. i don't want anyone being ''oh accept yourself'' i feel fucking ugly.

Anonymous 96453

I'm not going to tell you that what you feel is invalid, it might very well be that being a butch is simply not for you and it merely took you some years to realise it. At the same time, perhaps you are just caving into society's expectations and it's not truly you deciding that you don't want to be a butch anymore. I'd advise to try to elucidate this, perhaps try being a girly girl for a while and see how it feels. Don't overdo it like troons do though, becoming a tryhard will absolutely not help you.

Anonymous 96454

Crash course: use conditioner, style your hair, wear eyeliner, and stop buying oversized shit from the men's section. People will perceive you as feminine even if you look like a drill sergeant.

Anonymous 96455

>tfw no butch gf to teach makeup and take shopping
life is pain

Anonymous 96702


I grew up thinking i was aromantic asexual because i limited myself from thinking about anything related to sexuality even at school in biology classes and the like. The simplest mention of sex or any depiction of nudity would scare me so much, to an almost OCD levels. If i thought about it for even half a second i would immediately block my ears and squeeze my eyes shut and ruminate over those intrusive thoughts for hours while wallowing in guilt. Realistically this all has to do with religious trauma. I grew up very sheltered, looking away from kiss scene in movies in disgust all up to the time i was like 19 years old. There was this visceral reflex in my mind that tied sex and sexuality to male anatomy. And i found it all horrifying and disgusting to degrees i genuinely cannot begin to describe, i couldn't even allow myself to explore those ideas, because as i said, as little as thinking about it for a millisecond would overwhelm me with guilt and make me physically recoil.

There was then a shift of some sort, i suppose the primordial "what even is religion" phase all us 'raised religious' folk go thru, and that's when I'd first allowed myself to think beyond the self restraints I'd imposed upon myself for years.

Puberty hit me hard and i was always lectured by adults around me and made to fear my body and sexuality and others. But at the same time, i had to live with the dreadful realization that i NEED TO settle for a male husband and have to put up with that disgusting male anatomy because that's the norm and all women do this. Keep in my mind i come from a deeply religious third world country, LGBTQ culture is virtually unheard of, aside from propagandist shunning programs to fish for votes in elections kek.

As i said, when i first allowed myself to live without these restraints I'd just started to test the waters. So, the normal totally pure stage of butterflies in my stomach actually happened with me in my very late teens, maybe 19-20 years old. And only around women.

I'd just entertained the thought of running off somewhere and living with a girlfriend or a wife. Like suddenly the once dreadful idea of marriage wasn't so disgusting after all. And suddenly nudity in media and irl wasn't so gruesome anymore. It was almost pretty.

Thought it was a phase to outgrow..there's nothing that makes u hate yourself passively, aka without having done ANYTHING, than internalized homophobia as a queer person. I hated these impulses as much as i loved them. I found in them a safe haven but at the same time it was something i beat myself over for quite a long time. Just something that worsened my self harm addiction and somewhat my eating disorder. Because i was so obsessed with religious puritanism i couldn't even face myself and this "weirdness" within me, i wanted to root it out. I felt so weird and disgusting and not fit and i felt so guilty to even exist next to my (female) friends in highschool, as if i was tainting them with my presence- and nothing weird ever happened between us, not even what u might expect like, um idk, perverted fantasies? Nah. It's so outlandish and stupid but at the time, i literally battled with myself over everthing, every waking moment.

And I've only realized how much of a fucking homosexual i am when, i suppose with time, i progressed after the "pure love" stage. To realize i really am attracted to women as much physically as emotionally just cemented that fact in.

Idk, not a psychologist, but i do take neuroscience and psychology classes in uni XD. It felt like my sexual development was delayed and not fucked up beyond repair because of childhood trauma having to do with sexual stuff. So, realizing I'm a fag who loves women and only gets off to wlw media suddenly made the perfect sense. Like the last pizzle piece falling in place, and in my denial i couldn't see the full picture despite the fact only one last tiny detail was missing.

So yeah. Male anatomy is beyond disgusting to me. Their body hair and genitalia and voices and neck beards. I'm beyond biased here. I don't seem to mind body hair on women at all tho. Idek why everything on women- physically speaking- becomes endearing and beautiful whereas on men it's unsightly for me.

I love women. Women are nice. The only male friends i have are gay boys or the few rare nice boys who are, as Nicki says, "in touch with their feminine side"

So what's the take away from this? It's that i will die a lonner because i am still religious. And it's a sin to be a homosexual. It's something i cannot help, but it's my choice. I definitely could say fuck it all and date women and that would not make me any happier than dying a loner. I will not be getting marryied and selling myself off to a man though. Never. I would rather die, actually, and i mean it.

I know how easy it is for LGBTQ people to discredit other's religions in this topic, but it's about personal choices after all isn't it? This is mine

Anonymous 96708

A girl called me cute today (,:
I then proceeded to plan our entire life and marriage together.

Anonymous 96709

Are you me? I'm also from a third world country so maybe that's why our experience is so similar.

Anonymous 96710

>it's a sin to be a homosexual.
Religion is not a condition of morality. Think about it. It's nonsensical.

Anonymous 96711

> that would not make me any happier than dying a loner
Have you considered joining a religious order?

Anonymous 96827

it's so painful that i can't seem to find a lesbian girl irl i'm attracted to. there's always something off in their personality making them seem insane and i always end up feeling bitter like a fucking incel.

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