/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Not about me but my sister is lesbian but can't come out to our dad because he has a hateboner for gay people. Most of the family knows but I don't know how to help her deal with him when the time comes to tell him. Any anons that came out as gay to their parent(s) got any advice?

Any tips on how to meet older gay women? They seem not to be the type to use dating apps and websites, and I'm unsure how to find them. Do they even exist? Is my Carol out there?

>>3505
Maybe Facebook groups would be a better place to look for older lesbians rather than dating apps? I am a young lesbian, but just the whole culture of dating apps scares me away from using them.

Her is a good phone app! >>3505

>>3506
Good call anon, I've had a look, doesn't seem to be much in them but I'll have another go.
>>3508
I've tried Her! I thought it would be a bit more specific and may attract older women who wouldn't use Tinder etc., but no such luck.

Am I destined to a life without my middle-aged wife? Wow that rhymed. Maybe that's why I can't find anyone.

>>3510
>Am I destined to a life without my middle-aged wife?
If you wait 20 years I'll be middle aged and probably still alone. So I'm here, wifey.

>>3512
Beautiful, so will I. We can be powerful middle-aged wives together!

I want a gf who cosplays with me but my dating pool is super normie.

>>3539
The dating pool by itself is so small, especially if you're trying to avoid girls who just wanna experiment with you, then dump you for a dick later.

I'm bisexual but despise the whole "just wants to experiment but will always prefer dick" image that comes with it.
I genuinely want to find a girlfriend and wouldn't mind marrying a feminine woman and staying with her forever, but it seems like no lesbian will take a bisexual girl seriously.

>>3551
That's because a lot of bisexual girls make it about them being "bisexual". Part of the reason I would be wary about a bisexual girl is because I really can't deal with someone who talks about men in a way that indicates they're attracted to them. It's annoying to me, especially since I had to deal with people thinking I was strange or odd because I didn't find men attractive at all when I was younger. Part of the reason I love being lesbian is because other lesbians don't give a fuck about men, bi girls still do.

I'm not talking about cheating, by the way. I think that's a stupid stereotype to throw at bisexuals.

But see, having one person who's bisexual in this thread sort of derails it. I have no problem with bi girls who don't throw up their hands in the air mentioning they're bi.

I wish femme lesbians were more common. In that respect, I'm jealous of the gay community because they have super masculine guys paired up with other super masculine guys and that's normal, but it tends to be less common in the lesbian community.

>>3551
I dont hate bi girls and I would date someone but I would prefer to date a girl who feels the same way as me about things. My sexuality isnt a core to who I am or anything, i just feel comfortable/closer to a girl who is the same as me.
At the end of the day it doesn't matter so much. You're probably better off saying you're a lesbian if you plan on being with another girl long-term.

>>3551
Same here, anon. I've never met anyone IRL who has a problem with me being bi, it's only ever online. Idk, it's weird. I'd like to get married and I don't really have any preference as to which gender its with.

I am bisexual, and I am a ~~real~~ bisexual, I'd definitely marry a woman and stay with her for the rest of my life without ever wanting a guy. I do think I have a slight preference for females though my dating history consists mostly of guys because I was raised in a strict gay hating community which made it hard for me to get to know women who liked me.

I do think bisexuals generally speaking love getting attention to themselves and their preference (look at my comment), just like >>3559 explained. I also posted >>3541 btw, that's probably my main problem when it comes to lesbian dating.

I went to nyc with some family members and wandered off in the MOMA into an elevator. There were maybe seven or eight people in there, and two women at the front kissed each other and I could hardly see but I just couldn't stop looking. I think at that point I kind of had to realize it.

>>3559
What's wrong with just having fun with bisexual women? Why does it always have to involve romantic feelings or emotional involvement? Why not just mindless fucking?

Gay men seem to not nearly mind bisexual men as much as gay women do for bisexual women, which is why I'm asking

>>3581
I can't do the whole mindless fucking thing because I get way too emotionally involved way too quickly, but those of you who can, go for it.

>>3581
That's not the point. The point is it's well known in the "lesbian community" (whatever that is) that tons of bisexual women get involved with lesbians and dump them just to get with a guy, many times cheating. It's fucked up and I know you probably won't believe me, but there's a reason why that's so well known. The romantic involvement from both parties was implicit in my post, but yeah, if both parties are aware they don't want a romantic relationship that's fine, obviously.

>>3599
Sorry, I just noticed you weren't quoting me lol. My post still stands though.

Listening to Bette Davis Eyes and feeling those feelings. I would love to be married to another woman. Having a wife. How nice would that be.

I'd love to have a confident, smart, fun, pretty girlfriend who loved me and wasn't ashamed of going out with me in this city full of homophobes, and who'd make me feel at ease with her even around my gay hating family.

tfw desperate to move in with gf even though we have no money tfw mainly because i want constant sex and being as loud as possible with her 24/7
tfw just a fantasy that i have though. because she's been saying she'll move out of her parents since early 2016 and it still hasn't happened
tfw i want daily morning cuddles with her ;-;

>>3551
>>3572

>lesbian thread
>not a relationship thread, literally a lesbian thread
>"i'm bi but-"

sigh. Every time.

I'm sorry that people have been rude to you for being bi, i do. I don't know how to explain it…

I guess to some, like me, it’s just a preference. there’s not much to it, its just what i look for in girls. someone who i can relate to easier and who has a similar idea of what they want in life. as in, you're bisexual so sure you can stay with a woman forever, but you could also meet a man, marry and have kids with him forever. Again, not saying that you WILL, but that’s still a possibility that you’re not against. i want to date someone who doesn't see that as a possibility in life (like me) and has similar idea of what they want.

basically, as the stereotypes might have shown you, some lesbians take relationships as SRS BUSINESS. and we get too attached and think about our future together in no time. so, to some like me who look for super intimate relationships it’s something we prefer. Then again, I’ve only been in long term relationships with girls. So that’s why I think like that. I’m sure other lesbians look for casual things or don’t think like that.

Also a final controversial/unpopular opinion: bisexuals girls are everywhere. Lesbians aren’t as common, and we mostly prefer dating each other. Don’t see why bi girls don’t date bi girls instead of complaining that we are mean to them tbh.

I’m sure most girls will disagree - But I’m only giving my two cents on why I prefer dating other lesbians. discussion on it could be fun!

>>3559
>>3567

agreed with all of this 100%.

and i cherish femme lesbians too. i'm a femme and i love femmes. its a difficult life but its so worth it.

>>3774
Uhauling is not a meme, honestly

Sometimes I feel bitter about my sexuality. The only girl I can ever say I've truly loved didn't want me because she was "done being gay" after years of being a butch lesbian, and was into men now.

Hurts so badly. The guy she went for treated her like shit and dumped her out of the blue and I watched it all because I was so in love with her that I couldn't leave her alone. I listened to her talk about how he broke her heart for weeks in a row. Then she got with another prick who also treated her shit.

Being there only to watch her suffer, knowing that she knew my feelings, but that she was ignoring me for not having a penis… That was horrible.
I really wish I could find another girl who I could love deeply like that, but it seems so impossible. That was 2 years ago and I'm still whining.

Maybe the problem isn't just my sexuality but also the fact I'm an idiot.

Watched Carol at an old-fashioned cinema yesterday. Forgot how much I love that film. It's so beautiful. When will I meet my Carol Aird. When.

>>3827
Oh my god, that movie is BEAUTIFUL. Everyone should watch it. I would do it right now, but I woke up feeling so lonely and like total shit due to brokenheartness so better forget about it for a few days.

>>3551

So, not to be mean, I'm not speaking for everyone, but I personally get envious that bi girls can just choose to go into a het relationship and be seen as normal, in the traditional sense. For me, I don't have that option, I can't just choose to like dick. I know it's getting to be seen as more and more normal, sure, but not everyone feels that way. It's much easier for bi girls to fulfill family needs too, like, I can't get pregnant normally with a female, which really made my parents sad. I also still have relatives that refer to it as a phase. For you, it could just be a phase, especially when you get to wanting children, you can just be in a het relationship.

Again, sorry for being rude or mean, I feel bad, really, but sometimes I just wish I could like men cause it would be easier…

I really wish I had gay girl friends I could share feels and go to gay clubs with. A couple of my friends say they're bi but they never really seem interested in going to gay clubs, only go once in a blue moon and even then it feels weird because they never want to dance or anything like that. I always get the impression they're only doing it for my benefit and are never interested themselves. Going to local gay meetups also doesn't appeal to me as I feel most people would be much older than I am and would have so much more experience than I, when I haven't had any sexual encounters with a girl.

I'm also worried about using apps like Tinder or Her because while I think I'm fairly average looking, I'm pretty fucking fat at 185 lbs. Although I'm doing well at losing weight so far I don't feel cute enough to use those apps.

I hope people can help me with this.

I grew up in a very strict, ultra religious household, around homophobic people and I have internalized homophobia too because of that, which makes me hate and/or feel disgusted with myself for loving women.

I have no idea if anyone here has dealt with that, I find it odd how I can't find many helpful info on this online and how many people get angry at the thought someone who is gay or bisexual feeling this way. It's not something you can easily change and it is even worse than you being an asshole to gay people around you 24/7 because you're an asshole to yourself all the time, you never get a break from yourself.

I am obviously not rude or discriminate anyone who isn't straight – the way I feel only applies to myself, so pls no bully.

It's just fucking so fucking tiring how I'm a grown woman who can't accept her sexuality. Therapy isn't a possibility for me at the moment. Any tips on how to accept myself a little better? Or have you gone through the same?

>>3925
I don't have any great suggestions, but perhaps positive affirmations could help.

I'm really sorry you are going through this anon, and hope things get better for you soon! :)

>>Cute giraffe btw

>>3925

I also don't have any great advice for you. Just remember that girls are fucking amazing and there is nothing wrong with you for recognizing that fact. If anything, it makes you more sane in my books. Also love is love you know? There is nothing evil or wrong about it. It doesn't hurt anyone. I hope you can overcome this self hatred eventually, anon.

>>3925

Since you can't have therapy right now, what I can say is that on the mean time, you should "fake it until you make it". It's an exercise that some therapists advice.

Take like, 3 minutes of your day everyday to be with yourself, put a nice relaxing music you like, have stuff with nice smells by your side, take a mirror and tell yourself repetedly that it is okay to like girls, to be a lesbian and to love yourself. I know it sounds cheesy, but doing stuff like that for a long period of time ingranes it into your brain and you end up believing it, even subconsciously. Kinda like an abusive partner telling someone constantly that they are useless, ugly and helpless makes the person start self doubting themselves and believing it. And the nice music/aromas/objects are for positive association. You can also take more time for this exercise in the future if you want to, and think about other stuff like having a nice life with another woman, etc.

Anyway, I hope you find your peace, anon.

>>3925
Try some lesbian fiction to remind yourself that girls kissing girls is normal.
San Junipero always cheers me up. Revolutionary Girl Utena, The Paying Guests, Renai Joshika, and Octave are also things I like.

>>3932
I would also recommend the Morinaga Milk manga Girlfriends, it's very cute portrayal of lesbian relationship!
I'm not sure if in the beginning the main heroine is not weirded out by being in love with a girl, but even if so, she moves on quickly. It's very heartwarming and cutesy.

Aaaa thank you everyone for your replies! I've never had so much support on this IRL, so I'm happy for your words and will look into everything you girls mentioned. Have another baby giraffe.

I feel like a fucking freak of nature. I want to have some girl on girl experiences so bad, but all my friends just think I'm weird and coming on to them all the time. How do straight girls have all those girl on girl experiences? They make it seem so easy an natural.

>>4073
>all my friends just think I'm weird and coming on to them all the time.
Maybe because that's how you're coming across? I mean if they're not into it don't keep trying to push it on them.

>>4073
Maybe try a lesbian dating app and say you want to experiment?

>>3960
I'm not the anon you suggested this to, but I'm reading girlfriends right now and it is so fucking pleasant.

Thank you very much anon, please suggest more comfy lesbian manga for my tired weary soul .

Wow the mega faggots who can't get pussy were really bitter today

>>4344
Yuh.
Every guy who has ever posted on /r9k/, pua forums, the weird parts of reddit etc. need to be collectively rounded up and mowed down with assault rifles.
uwu a girl can dream~

I miss my ex girlfriend.

>>4525
more than likely you will. or you will just die out

I'm in love with a girl I know online and lives in another country. I'm always so nervous and weird when I talk to her, but I know she likes me back - we're not gfs though for a few reasons. I might go see her soon this year and I have no idea what to do to make her mine.

>>4641
Are you me from the past? This was me two years ago, like every word. I hope it works out for you, anon. My romance didn't work out because she had serious problems that weren't related to me or the distance issue. Just health problems that really took over her life. Wishing you luck! <3

>>4641
>>4642
that stuff never works

This has happened to me more than once:
>meet girl
>girl swears she's lesbian
>lesbian
>shortly after girl starts dating a man
>???
>kinda irrelevant detail: it's usually a "manly" guy

Just wtf man. I know they're the only to decide whatever they want or who they are, but fuck? Where are the exclusively lesbians I can be sure won't go hopping on a dick after I blink? Is sexuality really fluid, is everyone secretly bisexual? Ugh.

With this said I am bisexual myself, I just have a strong preference for females and I let it be known when I'm meeting a girl I'm interested in. However I'm biased against my own kind. Internalized biphobia, call it whatever you like. I've met lesbians who were once in relationships with men for whatever reason but "found out" they were really lesbian – I guess that's not the type of girl I mentioned above, but I'm always a bit wary of those girls too.

/vent

>>4693
>but I'm always a bit wary of those girls too
get off your high horse, anon. Lesbians cheat on girls with other girls, too. It could also be that they say they're lesbian so you'll think they're "legit" when they're really bi and they know it. Do you have that approach also, or do you say you're bi with a preference for women?

I'd go into my stupid life story, but yes, I was one of those girls who thought they were bi, but realized they were definitely lesbian. Honestly, your hypocrisy annoys the shit out of me, but whatever, I don't feel like being shitty online right now.

>>4696
>"I don't feel like being shitty online right now"
But you were? Lol or just too honest, but i don't really care. I don't mind if you think I'm a hypocrite, i let all my possible partners know I am "bisexual" but that I have a strong preference for females. I say this because I've hardly ever felt attracted to men, and I don't really feel the same way about them as I feel about women. I don't have to explain all my romantic history to you to justify the way I feel, but basically it's almost impossible I'll get with a guy. I do say I'm bisexual just for the sake of complete honesty.

You can complain all you want but many lesbians don't want to get when bisexual women - just read the thread. Also I never said lesbians don't cheat, idk where you got that from.
You don't have to feel so personally hurt tbh.

Bisluts will be bisluts tbh

Recently I discovered that my cousin is a lesbian, after she apparently has been for years.
It really freaked me out. No one ever told me. She had her gf with her on a bunch of family events, but I always assumed it was platonic, because why wouldnt you?

Anyway my family was surprised I didnt know, but how the fuck would you be able to know, if everyone treats it like an open secret, but never mentions it?

She also dresses like a typical lesbian and is very much a kind of soft-, more rational sjw, but why woukd I assum that this makes someone a lesbian?

>>4728
Where are you from, anon?

>>4735
Germany.
Worried that I might be talking about you? :^)

>>4736
No, it's just obvious you're a faggot robot.

>>4737
Nah. I have a social life. Spooky I know. There's a life outside the Internet. spooky ghost noises

>>4738
>Life outside the internet
Yeah. Keep telling yourself that after your first post. You either habit your room without ever leaving to see the sunlight or are a guy trying to bait. But whatever you say, anon.

>>4739
You are right. I actually have no social life. Don't have a single friend. ;__;

>>4698
>bisluts will be bisluts
Very nice feeling welcome, nonnie! The general biphobic sentiment makes it even more funny seeing some lesbians complaining ad aeternum about the lack of options in the dating pool, hooking up with the same set of women in rotation when in smaller towns, noticing their friends are hooking up with their exes, etc. Holy lack of self-awareness, Batman.

>>4742
>>4693
>>4697
can all bisexuals leave and make their own thread instead of complaining about lesbians, thanks

>>3502
>>3559
I've just came to the realization that I don't think I would want to date a girl who has any attraction to men whatsoever be it bi/pan whatever , and you really worded it perfectly as to why it's bothersome so thank you!! (I have so much hate for men I couldn't stand to be with someone who likes them)
I thought femme lesbians were more common? I have trouble finding butch lesbians !

>Can't stop thinking about a girl who was toxic to me
>Sent her a message recently asking her out for coffee
>No response
Probably for the best, but I miss my fiery girl.

>>6666
Oof, careful…

I feel like butch lesbians were more common <2000s
Femme is IN.

>>6673
Really? I'm femme and feel like I can't find any other femmes. At least butches are noticeable…

Really wish a girl would eat me out tonight but I'm so lonelyyyy

>>6666
Don't do it anon, break your crazy bitch addiction. Meet a nice girl.

>>6675
I'm femme and pretty much every other lesbian I know is as well.

God, don't you jut hate it when your clunge gets megaed by a dom butch with a snozzle cone on her strap? Just makes me razzle for a new landing site on my ractal, you know?

>>6685
That can change Anon, I believe in you!!

>>6679
>she responded
>we're going for coffee on Thursday
pray for me, lesbanon.

>>6693
I cannot pray for you. You've sealed your own fate.

my cinderella story:
>be me
>about 20-ish, just getting into the j-fashion scene
>drive 3-4 hours to go to the biggest convention in my state in the hopes of meeting more lolitas
>short-haired blonde lolita in sweet is the best-dressed at the afternoon tea party but she's at another table so we don't interact
>later that evening, adult track is starting
>go to the rave in my lolita since i didn't pack more than three outfits on account of not having a hotel room, sleeping in my car
>blonde lolita stumbles up to me, clearly inebriated
>HEY YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL
>wha-? no, you
>she goes in for a kiss but
>tripping over her rocking horse shoes
>me being slightly less drunk, I try to catch her
>both of us are in impractical footwear, we topple over
>flurry of petticoats and giggling
>manage to help her up and get out of the rave room; put her in a chair and go for some water
>when i come back the on-scene paramedics are clustered around her
>freaking out because they're worried she has alcohol poisoning
>blonde lolita is still super chatty and trying to get me to go up to her hotel room
>lowkey worried that she's just hitting on me because she's drunk
>also the med team does seem really concerned about how much she drank
>probably not a good time to hook up
>reassure her that i'll see her tomorrow
>one of her friends arrives to help her upstairs
>never actually see her the next day or ever again

i've legitimately fantasized over what i could have done differently to get this girl's name or contact information or anything since but she was pretty incomprehensible. i even went so far as to join the local comm's facebook group, went through every single member in the hopes that i could find her again.
i've always known that i preferred women over men. for the most part, i have a really low opinion of men, and it's hard to love someone that you can't respect. women intimidate the shit out of me, though. unless i'm approached by the object of my affections with clearcut romantic intentions, i have no idea how to respond when i realize that i'm developing a crush. mostly i just stuff my feelings down a mental trash chute and pretend they don't exist, i guess.

>>6716
Maybe one day you'll cross paths again and it'll be cute.
Are there any upcoming meetups in the area?

Why did you delete my joke mods -_-? Mixing lesbanon with Lebanon is a giggle.

>>6742
if it makes u feel better i saw it and liked it

>>6742
meh

This probably sounds pathetic but damn I'm jelly of lesbians and wish I could just make myself one. I prefer women's personalities, get along with women better, get overly attached to my female friends and would be fine with a lifetime partnership with a woman but the sexual attraction just isn't there.

I'm stuck having to deal with men and it sucks.

>>6767
Honestly me too (I hope that isn't offensive, I'm sorry if it is). Sometimes I think I do get some feelings for really butch women though…

>>6767

I kind of understand you. I'm definitely straight but sometimes I think it would be easier to partner with a woman. Be married but have no sexual contact (cuddling would be okay) but that's unlikely to ever happen haha.

I guess because of how I grew up I don't have much faith in hetero marriages. What I want more than sex is a life partner that will support, motivate and excite me as I do the same for them.

And for the record I don't feel that way because I can't find a guy. I have no problems dating and have had 2 marriage proposals that I said no to.

>>6769
>>6768

And the thing that sucks is that there really isn't much way to make the space or acceptance for these types of potential pairings without also inadvertently harming social perceptions and spaces of/for lesbians. What would you even call that? Platonic lesbians? That sounds retarded.

tbh I would have seriously paired up with any of my past friends if there was any good way of proposing the idea but they all get boyfriends. This is a stupid, impossible endeavor.

If I had that sort of relationship I wouldn't seek acceptance for it from anyone. Who needs to know that you aren't sexual together? It's not their concern. No need to have heteros or homos try to find a new category for us because why tell anyone in the first place? If gay marriage is legal there's no acceptance to fight for.

I think the hardest thing would be keeping it nonsexual. I think I would be fine without sex but what if my partner wants to fuck a guy, and then what if she gets baby fever? Plan ruined. It is a stupid endeavour.

>>6772
>Who needs to know that you aren't sexual together? It's not their concern.

I wish everyone thought this way.

>>6786
Well I've just never been the type of person who feels the need to justify any of my actions to anyone else. Especially matters that would never affect them.

>>6803
Bisexual women don't exist.

> tfw no female platonic bondmate

You lesbians are lucky

>>6824
No we aren't.

>>6824
>tfw no female platonic bondmate

Lmao. I know right.

>>6821
Domo arigato misuta roboto

My cousin is newly out and wants me to take her someplace she can meet other lesbians. There aren't any dedicated lesbian bars in our city though (LA), more like dedicated nights and stuff. Anyone familiar with the area know of where I can take her for a night out where she can meet other girls?

Does anyone else also have issues with straight girls trying to get an ego boost by teasing you? to feel attractive or something.

My straight roommate is overly clingy with me and knows I'm a lesbian. I never had a problem with us being super close before but she's doing it a lot more lately since I came out and it's kinda frustrating. She'll grab my breasts/ass out of nowhere or sit on my lap wearing lingerie and asking me if I like them on her, walks around half naked and is super physical all the time. She's not into me and is very clear about not finding girls attractive and for some reason she also gets annoyed when I'm the one who's too physical.

I feel awkward telling her to cut it out because even though she's not my type, her body is really hot and it actually turns me on lmao. I wouldn't mind as much if she actually wanted to fuck but since it's obviously for attention/to boost her own ego, it bothers me…

>>6832
Tell her to cut that shit out. Straight girls do this all the time, don't let her keep pulling this even if it's hot sometimes. If you let her do it she'll only use you for her ego.

I gave up any will or hope to get into a serious relationship since my painful break up with my ex.
it's been like 5 years? and since I only got 2 brief
insignificant things and two "online girlfriends"!
Despite how cringy I feel about my own situation, every time I'm drunk or hitting the rock bottom hard of my depression, I start to think about her.
I mean I'm aware that we are not made to be together and the fact that we broke up was probably a good thing, but since I never reached that same level of complicity with any of these girls that I've been with.
like sharing the same interests, movies and music taste or the same sense of humor.
I feel like even if managed to reach that again I would probably manage to ruin it again, so sounds like a lot of trouble for a painful end?
So since I'm just a mess who just don't give a fuck or even try.
And on the other hand, I feel like I'm getting bitter and nonchalant about life?
the thing is I believe that lesbian relationships are more synced on a soulmate aspect than everything else and giving the dominating plasticity of our era we are kinda doomed ?!
nevermind, fuck this essay of whining, I'm so drunk that I'm Confounding this thing with a personal diary.
Sorry.

>>6978
Oneitis is painful, being a lesbian makes it harder tbh because the dating pool is so small and like-minded people are rare, but you're right it is mostly just in your head.
>So since I'm just a mess who just don't give a fuck or even try.
Don't do this. You're your own worst enemy and you're paving the rest of your life to be like that.
Work on your weaknesses when it comes to relationships and you'll find you attract people better for you. idk anon I know you didn't ask for advice but just hang in there.

Any butches here kind of feel out of place in society? I don't relate to other women my age because I'm too masculine and they only want girlfriends they can do girly shit with, I can't befriend straight or bi men without them eventually developing feelings for me because "oooh cool tomboy", most gay men I know appear to be pretty lesbophobic and get angry at me/call me a hateful bigot for being gender critical (despite the fact that they themselves clearly hate the ftms who hit on them).

My only friends are two other lesbians I know, but aside from the fact that we like women we don't have that much in common personality-wise.

I just wanna be normal with a normal group of friends.

>>7443
idk, if you can hang out with lesbians you have nothing in common with other than being lesbian, you could probably stand to hang out with a few straight girls you don't have much in common with. I find it hard to believe that every single female in your age range wants to do 100% girly stuff 100% of the time.

I was in line at my local grocery store and the cashier was this short and cuter version of saafiya nygard or however you spell her last name, and anyway, the cashier looked very reserved and quiet but she kept on looking at my face and smiling and I smiled back and I'm so deprived I keep on feeling like she was flirting with me. My male friend was with me and he had to scoot behind me and such and she didn't look at him once. The people before us she didn't smile at. Am I crazy for thinking she was flirting with me? My friend told me it could just be I'm attractive and that's why she was smiling. But her smile looked so cute and inviting, I really want to believe it's possible for girls to flirt with each other in public 2k18….

>>10369
It isn't?

>>10369
Why wouldn't it be?

why is this thread dead? and why are so many girls on here into dudes? No offense but if you hate dudes why do you waste your time on them. I really do not understand.

>>82310
Just because you were born with an attraction to men doesn’t mean you have to like them.

>>82310
Unfortunately you can’t choose what you’re sexually attracted to. I’d love to be with a woman though, maybe i can troll myself into finding the female body sexually appealing if i look at it enough?

>>82312
Nearly all women are naturally attracted to other women imo, it’s a normal healthy state. You probably have some repressed internalized patriarchy stopping you from realising this or are simply in survival mode where you think if you don’t shack up with a male you will be in danger.

>>82312
Focusing on my own pleasure in a female body helped me stop giving moids the time of day and focus on reveling in the divine feminine which I feel much happier with now
you could also try to pavlov yourself
theres no point in spending time with people who make you miserable
>>82315
based

>>82311
just cuz ur attracted to them doesn't mean you have to waste ur time on them

weak minded individual

>>82315
>>82317
I don’t spend any time with men

>>82319
All of us have trauma from males or male doctrine trying to brainwash us in our childhoods.

>>82319
oh ok. carry on.

>>82322
facts

>>82322
That’s true, i remember having crushes on boys AND girls throughout elementary school i stopped crushing on girls somewhere in the middle and dynamic shifted from peaceful to competitive when they started pitting us against each other

>>82329
A lot of female ‘competitiveness’ is really just frustrated or misguided sexual attraction and tension.

>>82331
Also brainwashing cause like i said, we get pitted very early on in childhood. Phrases like “You’re prettier than so and so” and “you’re better than other girls” “she’s jealous of you” actually gets into a little girl’s head and makes her paranoid and angry

>>82332
Oh 100%

its so frustrating, everything is about men. every little thing. sometimes i cannot stand to be around straight women because i do not want to hear about their boy crushes or boy friends. and i kinda resent non lesbian women for all of the "i was a lesbian until i met my boyfriend <333" posts, its so gross do they not know that rhetoric like that gets lesbians raped and killed??? i always feel so left out. men have tried to "change" me online…. i was TEN. people just treat me as subhuman, even people in my own community. ive been made fun of for being a lesbian before… by bi women. gay men can also be so ignorant about our issues online ive seen so many of them say we dont get attacked violently that much?? thats just wrong??
i just hate feeling excluded from EVERYTHING, even my own community its crazy

straight men are the worst too, i think most of the hate ive recieved is from them. they scare me i do not get how people tolerate them, or any men at all.

>>82310
Im surprised there's so many hets on here too

being het and liking men just isnt natural. i am tired of hets shoving their straight agenda in my face its just not normal

just kidding i am the NUMBER ONE het ally

What's your opinion on tattoos?

i hate being a butch lesbian, i'm trying to let my hair grow and trying to use more feminine stuff. i never learn how to be a ''girly girl'' since i was the only girl in my home. im almost 25 and i cannot bring myself to be a butch anymore, any tips on what to do?

>>96445
Don't. I like butch lesbians. You're cool.

>>96445
do what YOU want, not what others want. do you feel like being femme because you genuinely want to be or because other expect you to?

>>96447
*others

>>96445
>im almost 25 and i cannot bring myself to be a butch anymore
Why?

>>96450
i don't find myself beautiful, everytime i just look at the mirror and feel weird about the way i look. i want o feel pretty, like the girls i see online. it sucks, sounds stupid, but it's the motive. i don't want anyone being ''oh accept yourself'' i feel fucking ugly.

>>96452
I'm not going to tell you that what you feel is invalid, it might very well be that being a butch is simply not for you and it merely took you some years to realise it. At the same time, perhaps you are just caving into society's expectations and it's not truly you deciding that you don't want to be a butch anymore. I'd advise to try to elucidate this, perhaps try being a girly girl for a while and see how it feels. Don't overdo it like troons do though, becoming a tryhard will absolutely not help you.

>>96452
Crash course: use conditioner, style your hair, wear eyeliner, and stop buying oversized shit from the men's section. People will perceive you as feminine even if you look like a drill sergeant.

>tfw no butch gf to teach makeup and take shopping
life is pain

I grew up thinking i was aromantic asexual because i limited myself from thinking about anything related to sexuality even at school in biology classes and the like. The simplest mention of sex or any depiction of nudity would scare me so much, to an almost OCD levels. If i thought about it for even half a second i would immediately block my ears and squeeze my eyes shut and ruminate over those intrusive thoughts for hours while wallowing in guilt. Realistically this all has to do with religious trauma. I grew up very sheltered, looking away from kiss scene in movies in disgust all up to the time i was like 19 years old. There was this visceral reflex in my mind that tied sex and sexuality to male anatomy. And i found it all horrifying and disgusting to degrees i genuinely cannot begin to describe, i couldn't even allow myself to explore those ideas, because as i said, as little as thinking about it for a millisecond would overwhelm me with guilt and make me physically recoil.

There was then a shift of some sort, i suppose the primordial "what even is religion" phase all us 'raised religious' folk go thru, and that's when I'd first allowed myself to think beyond the self restraints I'd imposed upon myself for years.

Puberty hit me hard and i was always lectured by adults around me and made to fear my body and sexuality and others. But at the same time, i had to live with the dreadful realization that i NEED TO settle for a male husband and have to put up with that disgusting male anatomy because that's the norm and all women do this. Keep in my mind i come from a deeply religious third world country, LGBTQ culture is virtually unheard of, aside from propagandist shunning programs to fish for votes in elections kek.

As i said, when i first allowed myself to live without these restraints I'd just started to test the waters. So, the normal totally pure stage of butterflies in my stomach actually happened with me in my very late teens, maybe 19-20 years old. And only around women.

I'd just entertained the thought of running off somewhere and living with a girlfriend or a wife. Like suddenly the once dreadful idea of marriage wasn't so disgusting after all. And suddenly nudity in media and irl wasn't so gruesome anymore. It was almost pretty.

Thought it was a phase to outgrow..there's nothing that makes u hate yourself passively, aka without having done ANYTHING, than internalized homophobia as a queer person. I hated these impulses as much as i loved them. I found in them a safe haven but at the same time it was something i beat myself over for quite a long time. Just something that worsened my self harm addiction and somewhat my eating disorder. Because i was so obsessed with religious puritanism i couldn't even face myself and this "weirdness" within me, i wanted to root it out. I felt so weird and disgusting and not fit and i felt so guilty to even exist next to my (female) friends in highschool, as if i was tainting them with my presence- and nothing weird ever happened between us, not even what u might expect like, um idk, perverted fantasies? Nah. It's so outlandish and stupid but at the time, i literally battled with myself over everthing, every waking moment.

And I've only realized how much of a fucking homosexual i am when, i suppose with time, i progressed after the "pure love" stage. To realize i really am attracted to women as much physically as emotionally just cemented that fact in.

Idk, not a psychologist, but i do take neuroscience and psychology classes in uni XD. It felt like my sexual development was delayed and not fucked up beyond repair because of childhood trauma having to do with sexual stuff. So, realizing I'm a fag who loves women and only gets off to wlw media suddenly made the perfect sense. Like the last pizzle piece falling in place, and in my denial i couldn't see the full picture despite the fact only one last tiny detail was missing.

So yeah. Male anatomy is beyond disgusting to me. Their body hair and genitalia and voices and neck beards. I'm beyond biased here. I don't seem to mind body hair on women at all tho. Idek why everything on women- physically speaking- becomes endearing and beautiful whereas on men it's unsightly for me.

I love women. Women are nice. The only male friends i have are gay boys or the few rare nice boys who are, as Nicki says, "in touch with their feminine side"

So what's the take away from this? It's that i will die a lonner because i am still religious. And it's a sin to be a homosexual. It's something i cannot help, but it's my choice. I definitely could say fuck it all and date women and that would not make me any happier than dying a loner. I will not be getting marryied and selling myself off to a man though. Never. I would rather die, actually, and i mean it.

I know how easy it is for LGBTQ people to discredit other's religions in this topic, but it's about personal choices after all isn't it? This is mine

A girl called me cute today (,:
I then proceeded to plan our entire life and marriage together.

>>96702
Are you me? I'm also from a third world country so maybe that's why our experience is so similar.

>it's a sin to be a homosexual.
Religion is not a condition of morality. Think about it. It's nonsensical.

>>96710
> that would not make me any happier than dying a loner
Have you considered joining a religious order?

it's so painful that i can't seem to find a lesbian girl irl i'm attracted to. there's always something off in their personality making them seem insane and i always end up feeling bitter like a fucking incel.

>>96702
>I definitely could say fuck it all and date women and that would not make me any happier than dying a loner.
It would make you happier. You just don't have the experience. Once you get a taste for women, you can't stop.

Dated men my whole life and am married to one but I'm gradually developing a distaste for men in general. I don't like them. They are incapable of love unless you're subjugated as their property.

Sometimes I wonder about dating women. I think I could do it. I just no longer have a desire to connect with men or please the male gaze.

>>97591
People that don't know themselves or what they like for a long time are so weird. Do you feel like you wasted time being with him?

>>97593
I feel like learning who you are is a normal experience of life and peoples tastes and values constantly change

>>97598
The woman who posted had lots of experiences and even married so it's very unusual. I've heard of gay men marrying women but it's also rare.

>>97599
I thought it would be great to be a housewife. But now I realize I married an abusive narcissist who is a real misogynist. I grew up very religious and my mom was a SAHM. I thought I was just doing what was "right", but now I'm doubting everything. I probably had a lot of internalised misogyny and homophobia myself because of my community sphere growing up.

But my husband's misogyny has seriously turned me off, and I can't help but feel like this is just how men think in a natural state. They want us to be enslaved, and they will never see us as whole people.

Learning to like myself and trust in my own abilities made me see through this absolute bullshit. I'm supposed to abandon my God-given gifts and talents to do unpaid care for a man who will always see me as beneath him?

Fuck that. At least women are capable of a truly deep and metaphysical connection. Women want to see other women succeed, and recognize their human dignity and inherent worth.

>>97591
Sounds like you just want to make friends with other women tbh. Dating entails romantic love and sex.

>>97593
it is not usually a sign of high intelligence to think of having everything figured out

>>97618
I am friends with women. I just want a deep, romantic connection with someone, and I don't think men are capable of giving that.

>>97622
But are you capable of providing a stable, sincere romantic connection to another woman? To put it bluntly: do you want to bury your face in a pussy? does the thought of seeing a girl naked make you wet? big hips, big tits, all that stuff?
Because the desire to take a break (even a permanent one) from men, although understandable, is very different from the desire to actively pursue women. If you confuse the two, you are going to hurt yourself and other people involved.

>>97625
nta and you absolutely make a valid point nona, but let's remember that not all women have big breasts and hips, you don't have to enjoy going down on a girl to be a lesbian/bisexual (so many straight women don't like giving oral to men for example) and also that the sight of a naked body can or cannot arouse, and both might mean absolutely nothing about one's sexuality.
i am a straight girl who doesn't get turned on by the sight of naked men, and while i personally don't experience what i'm going to say next, i have anecdotal experience of straight identified women who find women's bodies arousing at times (and there are multiple studies that confirm this as well).
sexuality is much more complex and individual than that, especially for women.
but yes, i do think that there is a big difference between not wanting men and wanting to pursue women.

>>97628
>sexuality is much more complex and individual than that,
Omfg. No, it's not. If you don't like fucking women, you're straight or asexual. It's that simple.

>>97600
I felt similar after getting married. I also think I'm comp-het as I went through identitifying as bi/pan/lesbian as a kid/teen/young adult although mostly closeted.

I'm so horny I could fuck a female-shaped statue.

>>97628
>you don't have to enjoy going down on a girl to be a lesbian/bisexual
>sexuality is much more complex and individual than that
It really isn't and as a straight woman its offensive to come in here and say that. If you're not sexually attracted to women then you're not lesbian/bi.

There’s this girl I love but shes taken :(
she’s very short, long straight black hair, around 5’1, and sometimes I have this fantasy where we become super close friends (were friends but not close) and we’re watching a movie together in the dark and we start fucking and then fall asleep together. I love her because shes just herself. Idk. She likes a lot of things people would consider to be cringe/a red flag (anime, weezer, etc.) but I fucking love hearing her talk about it even if theyre not my thing. She’s super funny and non-serious too, and fucking hates twitterfags. She has so many weird quirks but shes not awkward about any of them, like she can pull them off super well. Shes so fucking confident and talented. And i love her voice. Its so low and casual and sexy to me. All I want to do in life is protect her. Shes so fucking adorable. But shes taken. And yknow what, her other girlfriend is more fun than me. This is fine.This is completely fine. Totally not feeling sad about it at this moment. Totally.

>>97639
getting turned on by a sexual cue doesn't necessarily mean someone has that sexual orientation/desire/fantasy, and this has been medically studied as well, which is different than "not liking fucking women".
you can also dislike a specific sexual practice (giving oral) without that meaning you dislike having sex with that gender as a whole, and again, that doesn't mean "not liking fucking women".

Are we talking about things we don't like about women now? If so, here's my two cents: so many women are neurotic it's fucking unreal. I hate it. My dating pool is small, I know, but I'd rather die single than live with a neurotic person.

>>97836
Not a new take

Im so horny today that I cant get shit done

I'm turning 21 soon and I think I'm past the point of still being a virgin being cute understandable inexperience and instead it just being weird.

She's been giving me the silent treatment for the past couple days, and honestly it's been pretty great. I slept in and read the rest of the day.
>>97844
21 isn't that bad, especially if you live in a place without too many lesbians. And outside of hookups, anyone worth a shit won't care too much so long as you're trying.

>>97844
im 21 and I wish I was a virgin. I had sex before I was ready cuz I felt peer pressure. I wish I was a virgin so could wait till I meet someone I really like, I don't care how long it would take.

i'm so lonely i'm so lonely i'm lonely i hate it here i hate being a lesbain so much i tried dating men just to see if i could tolerate them but obviously didn't work i'm undesirable by women there's no future in being a lesbian what about my parents they want me to get married i can't stop thinking about women i'm so lonely it hurts

>>98753
why are you undesirable to women

>>97844
Just lie about it

>>97808
at least she's taken by a girl not a guy, maybe in the future if her and her gf don't work out you could try something. the lesbian dating pool is pretty small after all

I think I'm going through a silent e-break up rn, aaah

>>98986
You'll be okay discord bfs aren't real

>>98989
This is a lesbian thread lol

>>98990
>>98986
Well that changes things, sorry about the gf anon

>>98989
>>98991
I was almost convinced that I'm going to marry this girl, rip

>>98989
I wish I could say the same

I just realized why I love being in a homo relationship so much.
Straight "romance" is incredibly transactional. You never know whether you're being vetted for the position of Mother Of His Children And Bangmaid To Replace His Mom. If I were a man, I would worry about my girlfriend seeing me as the source of free money and endless stress resistance. Both parties re-enact scenarios they have been witnessing since the day they were born.
In a way, I'm happy homosexual marriage is illegal where I live. My relationships with women are sincere. There is no goal to chase. When I love her, I love her because she is. No layers of bullshit on top.
Also lesbian sex.

>>99319
where do you live anon?

tfw no gf ever and retarded

thoughts on short tops?

it pains me a bit that me nd my gf can never have bio kids that have both our dnas if that makes sense but what can you do

>>99849
dont forget theyre working on bone marrow babies, hope is not lost

>>99853

yes you can
i know someone who was born from two mothers, no joke

like >>99853 said, its an actual thing, though a bit expensive probably

how do I forget all about this girl I love? We’re only dating not even gfs yet.

recently got really drunk with touch starved guy and kissed and i keep trying to prove myself wrong but i haven't yet. i'm grossed out. and a bit weirded out by how he wanted me and my female friend to kiss (we didn't). i'm not upset i don't think he meant it in a coomtard way but yeah.

i really do not like moid fetishists they make me want to off myself. i just get this gut feeling whenever i'm around one to run. maybe it's a counteractive thing to say in a board with many fujos but honestly i can't deny it i do not like it.

Im scared that Im only attracted to older women and will waste my 20s fantasizing about shit thats probably never going to happen, help

>>102914
I resigned myself I'll just grow old and fall in love with a pretty (same age) old lady, who's also another girl who preferred older women

>>102832
ew. hope youre not still talking to this moid nona that is nasty.

I had my first kiss a couple months ago and it was amazing. It was after the first date with my girlfriend. We were in her car, she leaned in and kissed me for ~2 minutes. My lips were completely numb after, my heart was beating so fast, and my hands got all tingly. I'm so happy to have had my first kiss with her. I love her so much.
She's so beautiful and I'm so lucky to have her be my first everything.

honestly, to me there isn’t much joy in being a lesbian. I feel like straight women just hate us and view us as predatory freaks, straight men either see us as a porn category or they dislike us because they think we’re “stealing women” from them as if women are just property for moid pleasure and I feel like other gay people also stereotype lesbians in a negative way. on top of that, it sucks being the only lesbian in your area. dating is so much harder and it seems like all of my friends are entering relationships really easily whereas for me my dating pool is so much smaller so it’s significantly harder for me to find any woman who likes women. there also seems to be a lot of straight girls who just use lesbians to fulfil their fantasies and lead lesbians on until they leave us for moids.

>>104190
That actually sounds lovely in a way. I hope we get to grow old in good health and fall in love when the time comes.

I want to make a whole board for separtist lesbians only. Imagine media, feels and b with absolutely no mentions of moids and their trash content

>>104811
It would be fucking dead and full of trannies.

>>104875
That's why it would have to be a simil-board on a normal website so the spam wouldn't reach for once, you're displayed as anonymous but you're also logged in and can chat privately if you want
I think I've seen forums but the wall text formatting without any images and organization were sad, not to mention they were full of "kept having sex with men, am I a lesbian? he's cute and I'm conflicted what do I do?"

how do i even find a gf?? i try hinge but everyone i meet there just feels so,,, boring and unalive
i want to be with someone who understands me and appreciates me, but it feels like the world doesn't really have space for me
i was super in love with my best friend for a long time but that relationship would have never worked because she lives in canada… had a fling with someone else but that wound up destroying itself because of bpd reasons… idk i am close to just giving up at this point ;-;

>>3502
I hate the way libs talk about lesbians, I'm giving up on being a member of society and going full on retard
>>104911
You should give up

>>104911
You should never give up Nona.
I know this sounds corny but love will always find a way. My girlfriend came out of no where and fell into my life.
We met at a job and after 2 weeks of knowing each other, we started dating! When I started working there, I didn’t think I'd fall in love with a beautiful angel. But you know what? I did!
You might not find your girlfriend through dating apps or maybe you will. But you will find them some day. I don't know where, when, or how…but you will!
love is love nona. One day you will love and feel what it's like to be loved.

in other board i just got called dyke and mentally ill for beeing lesbian! yay.

>>104929
1 month later and I'm still feeling bitter with your reply
>it's another fairytale selling you dreams
of course all the lesbians that happily marry are gonna talk about it, but some girls are socially inept and doomed to be alone

Anyone else bothered on how other lesbians make their identity such a "delicate issue" ?
I can understand on a surface level if we're strangers but once we established we're both lesbian it's just about liking girls, fucking normal?
The first time I was happy to meet another lesbian, she told me to speak with a hushed tone and that still leave me an ugly feeling since I was young at that time.
Now again I'm asking another girl to confirm if she's bi or a lesbian while discussing trans issues, mind you, she already told me about her girlfriend before and omg you just know we're the same, and her friend interrupted saying now we shouldn't ask these questions, it's personal, it's sensitive
Fuck, it still triggers me to no end

>>106003
I'm not a lesbian but coming out has it's consequences. If you're confident and okay with it, then more power to you, but for some it can mean life or death, like in the middle east.
It is personal and it is sensitive.

>>106004
>I'm not a lesbian
There should be a proper ban for you lots lurking lesbian threads and speaking over lesbian issues when a lesbian is asking for other lesbian opinions

YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US

>>106005
I… I'm sorry. I was just bored.

women keep ghosting me because i'm too retarded i was thinking that maybe it's because i'm ugly as well but then the ones who ghosted me are the ones who liked me on dating apps first so maybe my appearance is somehow acceptable? i'm not sure whether i'm ugly or avergae to be honest

>>106009
>tfw you're socially retarded you get ghosted from women who first started talking to you because they were interested in you
It sure hurts. I can understand when I'm the first one to start a chat and they have the choice later to appreciate that or ghost me I'm okay with that, but realising I have dry social skills enough to not even make the effort to befriend me when you had all the good intentions, sure stings as hell.

Unless you're an unkept obese girl it's not about your appearance, everyone has their own taste but I don't think you are objectively ugly