Virgin Thread Anonymous 50440
I always feel so alone because it feels as though EVERY woman has had some sort of romantic, or sexual experience. And here I am with nothing, a pathetic adult female KHHV. I feel so alone and as though my time is running out. My goal isn't to lose my virginity, but find someone who loves me.
i;m a virgin because i hate men and i never want to go near any of them because they all suck so much
I feel you OP. We can be alone together
I'm 23 and people online tell me that I'm so young and I still have plenty of time but realistically 23 is extremely old to have 0 experience
It honestly feels like it's too late
>>50440>My goal isn't to lose my virginity, but find someone who loves me.
The dilemma of all women in the world. I feel you.
Anyway how old OP?
I ain't a virgin (lost it to an ex who didnt work) but the quest for romance is still on going. Trust me sex ain't worth it without the romantic element and if the moid doesn't eat out or moves enough tbh.
>tfw turning 30 in a week and the ticking clock is audible
I dislike men in general, because finding one who's kind and good all the way to his core, without some streak of cruelty, is near impossible. It further narrows the search by needing someone who's funny, intelligent and gentle.
The closest I got was when I was 20, staying for a movie night with my best friend. Got my first kiss and we messed around, just over-the-clothes touching, but he pulled back because he was worried I'd regret it in the morning. The next day we walked and held hands. The closest to real romance I've had was with the same guy, because we know each other so well, and he always wants to see me happy.
I still feel a little lovesick on my birthdays because he will just turn up with some ridiculous form of gift and we'll end up alone together, enjoying ourselves immensely, sometimes for days if he organises a trip somewhere. I always end up coming back to my empty house and crying after he leaves. It kills me that he loves me, but it'll never be in the way I need.
there is… definitely more here that isn't being said. what exactly is going on with you and him?
>>50445>lost it to an ex who didnt work
right in the feels anon
>tfw lost anal virginity first
what the fuck is wrong with me
Well I am 30+ virgin, at your age I still had the slim chance to find someone at uni. Never happened though and here we are.
Early 20s is the perfect time to find first bf, at 27 it begins to be too late and at 30 it’s hopeless. Everyone expects you to have experience, something must be WRONG with you if nobody has touched you by that point.
Even coomer moids stop fetishising virginity eventually and it just becomes sad. Weird how it's so important to them, though only for a limited window that's not even beyond dating age. I guess it really just is a fetishisation of youth.>>50448
We've been best friends for 12 years and by the time I realised I was in love with him, it was too late. That's it.
>>50455>Early 20s is the perfect time to find first bf, at 27 it begins to be too late and at 30 it’s hopeless. Everyone expects you to have experience, something must be WRONG with you if nobody has touched you by that point.
Yeah. I had chances at uni but the first few years I was fat and then I hardly met any men anymore. Now I just slave away every day in an office where everyone else is married.
Same age and I started feeling apathetic as soon as my birthday hit. Before then I was active in my search for someone but now I'm just open if they waltz into my life. I have other interests and have come to terms with being a loner who even gets annoyed that I have to talk to friends sometimes, so it's whatever.
At least in my case I'm open to men and women. This either makes my chances better or my KHV status more sad depending on how you look at it.
Im 28 and still a virgin. I had my chances over the years but always pushed them away because I always saw their flaws, that only into me because they're horny and would leave me eventually.
Do you regret it? I'm kind of in the same boat honestly, but I do regret it.
Once you graduate university and start working it becomes 100x more difficult to meet guys. I'm by far the youngest person in my workplace most of the other employees are in their 40s and 50s and person who is closest to me in terms of age is still a decade older than me and married.
Is it just me or does it feel like even the younger guys tend to be married in an office setting? It's like everyone is single in college and then you get a job and everyone around you has a family.
I'll be 22 this year and I'm a KHHV. My mom was already married at that age, meanwhile I haven't even been on a single date. I want to have sex and cuddle and kiss and whatnot but my face is just too ugly. I will go on a bit of a "femcel" rant here, so please feel free to not read this post if you find that annoyoing. But ugh. It sucks to be the only girl never asked out or noticed by guys. Like the only girl never asked to dance during a party. I'm always the tallest and the ugliest woman in the room, covering up my face with hair even as an adult. When I was a teen or going to college in person I was really bitter about it, but since the quarantine hit I've been feeling much calmer. Lately I have almost stopped thinking about this entirely. In a way I'm grateful, because as an ugly woman, I know the real needlessly cruel nature of men. So I'd rather not get involved with them anyway. Lol sorry if this sounds too dramatic.
I would try to get yourself out there as much as possible while you're in a university setting because otherwise by the time you go off to work or to graduate school, all the worthy moids are in a serious relationship they started in their undergrad.
I would guess that if a guy is young and actually has a well paying white collar job he probably takes life seriously and thinks long term so it makes sense that someone like that would get married younger.
Why would I regret not throwing away my v-card to some retards that doesn't love but only want temporary fun and have not interest in a serious relationship? There are so many stories of farmers and miners regretting having sex with miserable scrotes.
You lament not getting to date anyone, but simultaneously bemoan that all men are vicious and evil. I would hope you realize what situation you're placing yourself in mentally, and hopefully confront it with a therapist to resolve this defense mechanism. That is, only if you truly desire to be with someone.
nta but both feelings can coexist.
You can lack the money for a house, while also acknowledging the local housing market is overpriced and the houses are all falling apart and full of mould anyway. What you'd really like is for the houses to be decent quality AND affordable…but this is not reality.
In general most people do kind of suck. And if you're poorly socialized it's hard to pick up their lies/initial fake impression.
I'm not saying "all men are vicious". I was just really heavily bullied by men and that left me with feelings of disturst towards them. I don't think it's weird to desire idealized romantic relationship while acknowledging that reality is completely different.
Men are especially cruel to ugly women. They only appear good to those who have not felt their hatred. It’s only natural to lament not having been born with a face deserving of kindness. You can want for something while knowing it’s impossible for you. It’s disingenuous to suggest therapy knowing the way that men are.
I'm 22 and a virgin. I wasted my teenage years with a LTR with an eating disorder and bad acne, playing video games all day. My personality is a strange mix of extreme pride and low self-esteem and perfectionism. I currently consider teenage relationships to be sour grapes. Vast majority of men have irksome qualities. Insensitive and brutish. I got lucky and "found someone who loves me". Unfortunately my teenage hangups are still there so I could not see myself as lovable otherwise, but I couldn't risk losing them, so after months of self-loathing I finally found the courage and money to glow up, now with the weight and acne mostly gone I'd consider my hangups sufficiently rationalized away.
My advice to you is to work on yourself.
my car broke
What do you mean too late? You've messed around in the past, and the only reason he stopped was out of concern for you. He 100% has feelings but is giving you time to come to terms with yours. I'd tell you take a leap of faith, but it's so obvious he's into you it's more of a step down the stairs.
Go for it! How would you feel seeing him with another woman? Admitting he always has feelings for you? That isn't something you can risk anon
don't lose hope! my khhv sister met her boyfriend at 24 going on 25. and he's a good boyfriend. just put yourself out there, work on yourself, and find a nice guy! and my friend met her boyfriend who loves her at 27 so it's never too late! he actually pursued her, not the other way around. both of these guys are extremely nerdy and introverted types so i think finding a shy guy is your best bet.
Don't fall for the experience meme. Every relationship begins with 0 experience. 0 understanding of the other person, 0 knowledge of their sexual preferences, 0 knowledge of every aspect of their lives. Coming from a place of ignorance actually makes you a better potential partner because you won't assume what the other person likes and dislikes, you'll find out as you go along. Just make sure you find someone willing to do the same.
>>50513>Men are especially cruel to ugly women.
This is extremely true. When you're ugly, men don't register you as female, but they don't respect you like they would a man. You're nothing, because you lack the one thing they value women for. You get all the misogyny, plus the stuff men will say around you because they don't care to perform niceness in front of you, they will let loose about how much they truly hate women, but it's okay, they can tell you because it's not like you're one of them
. Sometimes, depending on the men you're surrounded by, they'll make a pass at you not because they're really into you but because they have settled for someone "attainable", but they'll always resent you for not meeting their standards, or for rejecting them when you should be desperate.
Depends on what you want from life.
If you just want sex, there is no time limit. If you want a wealthy partner, earlier is better than later for your chances. Money bags like childlike females 🙄
>tell bf that I was virgin and that he took my virginity
>actually lost it three years before to a man twice my age
>every time the topic of first times come up I want to die because my boyfriend believes a lie I told him
>I’m positive he would leave me if he knew I lied about something like this
Virginity is a stupid concept anyway. If he puts that much meaning on it, he deserves to be deceived.
Florida is hell. Everyone here is taken.
You can be upset over having been lied to even though you don’t care about the actual thing that was lied about
Everyone lies. It is just a fact. It is perfectly fine to lie to men anyways. Their feeble minds are incapable of handling reality. You do them a favor by deceiving them.
True, not everyone lies to their partner about petty things or without a good reason, though.
If someone just casually lies about various things, they probably aren't someone with a lot of moral integrity or someone you can rely on and trust not to cheat.
20 khhv, never been shown interest from any guy, as a child/young teen I was overweight so it was understandable but since losing it now my body is full of stretch marks, loose skin and I have saggy breasts. I hold a lot of resentment towards my parents for essentially ruining my body, they’re both overweight and passed their eating habits onto me. I’m too embarrassed to ever be seen naked like this so I don’t see me losing it anytime soon. The only ‘relationship’ experience I have is from edaiting w men across the continent so I didn’t worry about them ever seeing or touching my body. I have a lot of FOMO from missing out on teenage love.
Don't care about the topic
tbh people who say this sort of thing have a pretty poor grasp on reality themselves, and get caught up in and start to believe their own lies
I'm very sorry you feel this way. I had the same FOMO too, I'm 23 and was in a similar boat as you at your age. I made the mistake of falling for the first guy who showed me interest, then he had his way with me and I never saw him again. Now I only feel worse. I don't want to be that. I want to be loved, not merely wanted when the time is right. I want to be devoured, not chewed up and spat out again. I want to be the moon among the stars dancing with the Earth in a celestial ballet, not just some comet that catches your eye for a night. You are capable of being loved, you are deserving of true love. I would rather hold out for a decent man and die alone than settle for such lecherous swine again. I know we are all doomed to fall for this trap again and again.
I truly despise humanity for the evils it inflicts upon itself sometimes, but I know that's wrong. I blamed my parents when I was younger, but they know no better. They loved me, and everything they did was, they thought, in their best interest. They were just uneducated, and no one's perfect. Even that pig… I can accept he didn't want to hurt me, and if he did want to, well, it's because something hurt him. There is freedom in letting go, and only misery in dwelling on mistakes and regrets. I am learning to not focus on the past, since I can only change the future. I have been spending my time since educating myself on all the things I was too young to care about in high school. I feel like my dream of chasing the stereotypical teenage life lead me to miss out on other, equally beautiful things that I only wish I had discovered sooner, but I'm consoled by the fact that I'm discovering them now. We shouldn't fret about missing out on love, lots of people do, just look at the divirces and affairs that pop up all around us. If it is meant to be, it will happen naturally, and if not, well, you can't regret not doing the impossible. Just do your best and respect everyone. If you do that, I will be proud of you, and you will be proud of yourself too. Sorry for the blog post and my meandering thoughts, I wish everyone here the best of luck.
when it hurts because its true : >
>>54395>We shouldn't fret about missing out on love, lots of people do, just look at the divirces and affairs that pop up all around us. If it is meant to be, it will happen naturally
Based and very true. My FOMO has gradually dissipated as I've seen how unhappy and constrained many of the friends I have in a relationships are by my age (29), many of them doing it out of fear of the alternative or because they're too financially intertwined, or that they've never even considered they might be better off single. Being alone is preferable to that in my book. If something great comes along that's one thing, but just any old relationship can be a horrible life.
human consciousness is a wasted gift developed by mistake, which gets constantly chewed in the cogs of physics and evolution. certain bits of consciousness cant help but mimic such cogs, probably not to get completely obliterated. you are one of such mimic cogs
I feel really bored and lonely rn and I was thinking of downloading tinder again when I suddenly remembered that I literally only got 2 matches last time that didn't even talk to me so what's the point.
I am a 24 year old female khhv. I've learned to just move on with my life. Basically, I was fat throughout high school and had virtually no real friends (I had acquaintances in classes where we would pair up for projects only). Teenage guys can be very cruel to teenage girls when they aren't conventionally attractive (they usually thought they deserved someone like Selena Gomez or Miley Cyrus in terms of looks). College I had a terrible experience with two roommates and moved to a single dorm. No bfs. After moving back home, I still had no bfs. Finished college at 23 and have been neeting for almost a year (thanks pandemic). I would feel pathetic going on a dating app with nothing going for me in life. Only been approached by one creep and it scared me. One guy offered to take my virginity but he was a clear player, so I refused.
I am also a 24 year old khhv too anon. I had similar experiences as you. I was fat in elementary school so I had no friends. Come middle school and high school, puberty had ruined my cute features and turned me ugly. I got bullied by both boys and girls. The boys made fun of how ugly I was. The girls made fun of me for how I dressed. I tried desperately to fit in with makeup and fashion trends but no matter how hard I tried, no style will improve the looks of an ugly mannish looking girl. In college I coped with my loneliness through binge eating and got tricked into thinking my youthful metabolism would stave off the pounds. Metabolism is a myth because I soon turned obese. On top of that, I was stressed with school and got acne everywhere - all over my face, my arms, my chest and back. I was so depressed because I was lonely. And I was so stressed because of school and commuting. I commuted 3h a day to attend lectures, and by the time lecture was done, all I wanted to do was escape home and sleep. I made no friends. I joined no clubs. Dating in college was impossible. I couldn't bring boys home because I still lived with my parents and felt like a massive loser.
Now I am still living with my parents and feel like a massive loser. I don't think I'll ever find happiness until I move out. If given the choice to fuck a hot guy, I would refuse too. I would rather have someone fall in love with me for my personality instead of fucking for the sake of horny. Dating apps are a plague. The men on there only want a quick fuck whereas most women just want a nice relationship.
I also had to commute to high school on a bus. It was hell. I got my driver's license and a car by the time I was 22 (and it is important to drive where I live to get around). I also can't bring a guy home because I have no privacy.
It took me years to find a proper hair care technique and skin care routine by myself to look somewhat presentable. I just regret so many wasted years.
Wow I wrote this and it’s so strange to see it again. I’m no longer a khhv and have found a guy who’s fallen in love with my personality. I no longer commute because I’ve graduated and found a remote job. I’ve shed my weight and am at an average size now due to my loving fiancé. I’ve moved out and live with him and actually eat proper home cooked meals because he wants me to continue to maintain a healthy body. Having a healthy body for the first time in my life makes me feel happier, and living a healthier lifestyle has definitely helped my pessimism and depression. I feel fulfilled and loved.
My skin cleared up. I dont wear makeup anymore so that may have something to do with it. I wear PJs and sweatpants most of the time because I no longer try to attract a partner as I already have one — plus they’re comfy and I woke from home. My hair isn’t that great as I chopped off my long covid locks and regret it.
I only feel unfulfilled in my career prospects but at least I can say my love life isn’t as depressing and nonexistent anymore.
i'm a virgin even though i had some romantic relationships.
i haven't had penetrative sex yet because it hurts too much to put even a finger inside. never even tried tampax.
i don't know why i am this way, and i'm scared my current boyfriend looks down on me because of this and might eventually leave if i dont manage to have piv soon.
i recently got vaginal stretchers but for some reason i think ill never be able to have sex normally, and it makes me feel like a failure.
I’m really happy for you! It’s crazy to think how much can change in a year. It sounds like a lot of time and yet it isn’t really at all. I’m happy you found someone who seems to really care for you. Reading stuff like this gives me hope that maybe one day I’ll be able to find someone who I love who loves me too.
you're not a failure. have you looked into vaginismus and possible treatment options there? you're not a virgin or a failure just because you haven't had PIV sex. virginity is a pretty shitty outdated concept mostly designed to add another burden into our lives as women. you're complete with or without. but like i said, if it's something that bothers you then look up vaginismus and try some pelvic floor exercises and other things that are recommended. hope it gets better for you anon!
Thanks anon he makes my sad days go from dark clouds to sunny skies very fast with just a squeeze of his hand on mine or a hug or a kiss on the cheek. It’s the best feeling in the world to find someone in your life who will love you unconditionally, who’ll be your pillar when you’re on hard times and, who’ll be your cheerleader, always believing in you.
thank you nona, you're very sweet and wise. i'll look vaginismus up and try to fix this problem
i've had a bf for 4 years now and we never sexed cuz im too scared to and maybe we will never ever sex at all
What the fresh fuck are those shingles? I guess your boyfriend is fine with it? That's pretty neat if true.
I feel the same way. All my friends are in relationships and I cant even bring myself to be in one anymore because of trauma of being so badly mistreated even tho I crave one. I just want to feel loved, the loneliness is unbearable.
sex is scary>>94911
yes he's fine with it which is surprising
Honestly, I feel the same as you, OP. I straight up have never been touched by a man in any form ever, whether that be kisses, hugs, or more intimate things. I have never been asked out or been in a relationship, either. It's odd to see everyone here on CC talk about all of their romantic relationships as if it were very easy. So far, to men, I am invisible.
Though, compared to you, I feel rather torn. Part of me creates an ideal of fantasy of love in my mind, but in real life, the idea of this disgusts me to the core. Somehow, I feel afraid that having sex would permanently "defile" me. Actually, I would prefer to stay a virgin. On the logical side of things, I could only see the a relationship creating issues rather than solving them. I feel like it would add unneeded relationship drama and bullcrap to life. I'd be to concerned with finding the "right" guy only for him to turn out to be a total jerkwad. Although in fantasy, it all seems nice, the reality is nothing like it. Relationships seem to create unnecessary problems for people based on observation.
Also, does anyone wish that there were a female-oriented online space like CC but for virgins only (actual virgins, not people who have had any sort of sexual contact at all) and no normalfags allowed? I get bothered about constantly hearing about sex and peoples relationships on CC because I can not relate to it myself, and I am also disgusted by sex.
I'm a 23 year old virgin but would rather die than have anyone see me naked.
based. wish i could find a man like that
[originally written this to post in femcel thread but since it's locked I'm gonna post here]
There is one thing I hate admitting, incels and trads alike were correct when they said feminists were rejecting the family structure and dating culture as a cope. it is true for me, still is, I go around preaching feminist values but I only use it as protection because I know it won't be me, I never will have a rich provider husband or a man who would want to reproduce with me point-blank I have been in situations where men made fun of me saying it was for the better that I had these values because I would fail otherwise.
It wasn't always a conscious decision, it started as one but along the way I started believing in these independent woman who doesn't doll-up or try to appeal to men and doesn't want children because they're a waste of time and resources, but now that my peers are settling and I'm out of choice but to hang with much younger crowd because people my age are in a different stage of life now I'm becoming aware of why I did it.
Many women who followed this feminist route did end up marrying and having children and a traditional lifestyle, many slutty women managed to get rich handsome husbands, and I'm not talking about stories from the internet I'm talking about women I knew personally who were biggest feminists than I am and still in the end managed to move to the next level of life while I'm still here an angry virgin feminist who copes by trying to be career oriented and having dogs for children.
I work in STEM and I followed that path because I was such a feminist but also because I secretly hoped I'd get male attention but even in a room full of men I still am unappealing to them, in fact it only made me certain that men do not see me as a woman (nor a man) but merely a side character, I have harbored feelings for more than half of the men that I became familiar with and even lost some of them because I tried to make a move or tried to get our relationship to be more than just chatting about nerdy subjects.
I can't even socialize with women or understand them because I have spent the past six years of my life surrounded by nerdy STEM men.
I met a guy on a dating app last week and my profile said I wanted someone I can chill with but he took it as me wanting a friend so while texting he had a little vent about a girl he's seeing not wanting to make things official, I was so lost why would he match with me on a dating app just to be his vent buddy.
My femineity will always be invisible to men, I am getting older and my longing and loneliness is only getting worse, I want stability but I know I will never have it, I will never have children because unless I breed with a super chad I will only be passing the curse to a second generation.
I do not regret my choices in life of adopting feminist values and presenting as such or working in a male dominated STEM field because I know for a fact that this was the best outcome possible, I always knew, just got a little lost along the way.
I only do regret being born of such low status, born an ugly accident into a low income household with no extended family connection, did not have any human socialization aside from talking with my mother for the better part of my childhood and teenage years.
I do not know when will I ever feel happy and fulfilled, gonna turn 30 while still being a virgin that never been in a relationship and without any female friends.
I wish life was kinder to me for it puzzles me to know what could I have possibly done to deserve all of this.
I think that this is your desire to have things in common with your peers, not an actual desire to be a wifey to some scrote. It's just that if the women around you are wifeys, and you have a strong need to conform (which is perfectly understandable and normal), you're gonna start wishing for that, too. However, this lifestyle would be incompatible with what you want, assuming that your reason for being a feminist is that you want to be treated with respect and be perceived as intelligent & capable. No one really respects the tradwife type of women, so you'd end up being quite miserable.
On the bright side, you don't necessarily need to have that life if you want a romantic partner. If you're friendly and confident in what you do - be it STEM or whatever else you have an interest in - you're almost guaranteed to attract men, they're not difficult to impress. Handle your relationships how you
see them fit.
STEM is an odd ball place. The males there are either in a relationship already or so absorbed in their jobs that they aren't even capable of committing themselves to a relationship.
Try 26. I'm starting to get grey hair (thankfully my natural colour is fair) and the other little signs of age.
Put yourself out there and show a little interest. From what I see, (if you're straight) guys are pretty slow to pick up on signals.
You need to make it pretty obvious you're interested without going full psycho. Try meeting them in a place that would hold an hobby of yours that crosses over with male interests (e.g. library/bookstore for readers, etc).
Don't be too picky as you could lose out on some great guys, but be safe. Only meet them in public places for the initial 2-3 dates. If they set off a feeling of discomfort it's not worth it, trust your gut.
The way I see it you are not missing out on much but maybe friendships (with men or women). I guess that you want to be and feel desired by men and that is very valid and there must be a way to fulfill those needs (maybe posting pics on some of those websites or something) without letting a man put a metaphorical leach on you. All of your ex feminist friends who are now married with children are probably cursing the day they said yes and surrendered their freedom.
Hate to say it nona, but people are shallow.
Men are shallow, women are shallow, and first impressions count. You can take the monkey out of the jungle, but you can't take the jungle out of the monkey.
Try changing your appearance, act a little more feminine. Working out and taking care of yourself is important if you aren't doing so already. It's tough love for yourself, but you'll be happier for paying attention to your health and fitness as you get older.
Both men and women are (quite rightfully) asking what the other person is bringing to the table and if they'll make their life better. Unfortunately that comes with the side effect of them not willing to give chances.
Also, ask girls and guys you trust about this. Don't get mad at them if they say something you don't like (men can be HARSH!), and take the good advice on board. A bit of effort to discover what they want goes a long way.
If you want it, you can get it girl.
I am 26 and a virgin, never been kissed etc. But I have been in a talking stage with guys though I ghost them after. I genuinely do not believe I am missing much.Even when people talk about finding their "soul mate", I just do not think a man will be my person. They tend to get on my nerves after a while, hence the ghosting. Maybe I am scared of commitment idk. This is the most ever thought about it lol.
I've had (not very serious) relationships but I'm happy I've never had sex. I just don't want to. Cuddling or doing something nice together is so much better to me. I'm a virgin, no shame.
I know a lot of people on this website speak against this, but get a discord moid.
That’s how I met my boyfriend who I finally lost my virginity to in my 20’s. And even better he was a virgin too so I didn’t have to risk the chance of dealing with a fuckboy narcissist. Discord is the easiest place to scout for men because usually the degenerates on discord are so brazen and sleazily open about their sexcapades so you can easily filter them out. And nicer virgin men are usually the ones who are nicer and easier to talk to on servers because they’re more to themselves. Try an art server or another general interest server like books or movies or something
I don't want to have sex with anyone who uses Discord.
careful anon i've been there on some "lesser of evils" moids on 4chan.>>96067
Discord is a good place. The people against you just don't see that it's the best general social networking site for people like us.
What's the alternative? Looking for a moid on Instagram or dating apps which we know don't work for non-stacies. However it's always better to find men irl before resorting to Discord.
You join a specific hobby server and automatically have people (including men) that have similar interests to you.
Plus Discord is one of the few places on the internet left where you can chat first without having your face revealed, meaning it's 100% personality. If you and a moid hit it off with text, he will accept what you look like irl. It is a lot of trial and error with many roadblocks like he may be across the world.
Also you will have to filter through a lot of moids, but there is no risk. If he's a creep, just block and move on. Don't be an idiot and give your real name or something just as stupid.
Here's my strategy:
Start chatting, after a while give him a pic of your face (it will grow on him if he likes you), increase the flirting a bit.
Once you get to know eachother well then you can meet irl.
Thank you for being the only one who understood where I was coming from, anon. The reason I said Discord was for the exact reasons you had mentioned. People in our generation need to be more forthcoming and honest when it comes to how they go about finding relationships. Loneliness has become a social epidemic in Gen Z and millenials because it truly has become a scarcity to find someone good. And not enough people are honest enough to relay the truth on how it was they went about finding their partners. Even normies are resorting to using Discord as a place to date now. That's why whenever you try to ask someone around our age how they found their longterm relationship, the common lie people will resort to saying is "mutual friends", when it's absolutely laughable. They'll say "mutual friends" yet their partner could be from some obscure scarcely populated country on the other side of the world where not many people emigrate from, how the hell could they have possibly met them besides Discord? It has become an acquired skill to learn to navigate online spaces where you can find a decent partner.
I'm someone who is neurodivergent (autistic and ADHD) so conventional dating apps just didn't do it for me. Plus I was a fastidious virgin woman (I ONLY wanted to date other virgin men), and I would specify this stipulation on my dating app bios, yet this would only garner sociopathic fuckboy narcissistics to swipe me so that they could detract me and make fun of me saying that I wasn't worth shit (when I knew for a fact that they were just saying this as cope).
When I met my first boyfriend on Discord, he may have been a blundering oaf sometimes but he was a lot more of a rarity than most of the garbage you see in men irl. It was just as easy as you said, I wasn't even looking for a boyfriend at the time yet I stumbled upon him and it was so easy. Although things didn't work out between us, and if I hadn't of fucked it up with my doomer mentally ill self, I genuinely believe that he would have been the man I could have actually married. My advice to the virgin girls on this thread is, find a man in a place where you will be cherished, not tolerated. Although Discord moids by far aren't perfect, at least they're not as programmed to have dark triad personality traits like these moids you find on Instagram and dating apps because Discord, like you said, relies on personality first.
lain she is grilli…
Okay, but where do you find good servers? The ones shared on /soc/ are usually rotten degenerate trash, and the ones centered around reddit or instagram communities tend to be so massive and cliquey that it becomes impossible to get a normal conversation going.
i tried finding friends on discord but honestly this doesnt work either im stuck
Look in more niche servers, even servers owned by streamers or YouTubers. You'll be surprised who you'll find anon. Lol I met my moid on a furry server of all places, but that was incidentally because we both despised furries and were both there to send death threats to them
Now that is just fucking inspiring. Unironically.
Does anyone here see some aspects of being a virgin as a positive?
Virginity is a "no," a "not," a negation. By definition it lacks positive attributes.
The question I mean to ask:>is anyone content with being a virgin for the time being? I honestly have not ever felt compelled to lose it.
Yes. I believe it's important to save myself for marriage. I want a virgin husband, so it would be hypocritical for me have premarital sex.
after reading countless stories from women who regret who they lost their virginity to, feel pain that is described as "searing" each time they have sex with their boyfriend, or just keep having hookups with men that leave them disappointed and never get to fucking CUM, i honestly think im not really missing out on much lol. it seems like sex for the average straight woman is largely disappointing.
my social anxiety extends to online spaces, whenever I do join some server I pretty much don't interact with anyone unless someone messages me first (never happens). Whenever I join some small place, where I'd feel comfortable to talk, its usually a dead server, and Im too anxious to start talking when noone does.
As if that wasn't enough I'm very introverted, pretty much everything I like to do are things that you can't really do with others.
I'm going to die alone aren't I?
the only positive aspect i see is that if by some miracle I find a virgin bf that isn't a 4chan incel who just wants to get laid we can have our first time together
no, i crave physical intimacy
They probably see older virgins like that one tik tok that was circulating around.
The one where the old woman speaks to the unicorn and says:"And where were you twenty years ago? Ten years ago? Where were you when I was new? When I was one of those innocent young maidens you always come to? How dare you! How dare you come to me now, when I am this!"
Since the topic of Discord boyfriends has come up I'd like to throw in my 2 cents.
I started dating my man on discord before it was common to do so (2015 ish). I met him off discord then linked up with him on it on a server of personal Internet friends. We were both virgins and still have stayed each other's one and only. I really enjoy our bond, people treat sex way too casually these days. Never feel bad about saving yourself, it's absolutely worth it. >>96123
Oh yeah, men are utterly clueless on how to have sex that's good for the woman too, porn has not helped, and I would imagine most women have trouble communicating their needs to men (while being listened to). You need to sit your man down to show them where to touch you, how to touch you, what positions feel good, etc. If you don't you'll basically never get to orgasm from sex.
Agreed, you get treated like those incel poltard dorks that get shoved in lockers
Either be hot or strong
>>50513>It’s only natural to lament not having been born with a face deserving of kindness.
You really do need therapy, though.
>My goal isn't to lose my virginity, but find someone who loves me.
That is my goal as well.
>it feels as though EVERY woman has had some sort of romantic, or sexual experience
I've had sexual exeperiences, one of which came very close to me losing my virginity (I don't count it as having lost it though because there was no penetration involved) and with which I would have definitely been able to but I got the fuck out of there because it would have been with a very horrible person. I'm still volcel who will only lose it to someone who cares about me and who I'm already in a relationship with.
>>96633>I don't count it as having lost it though because there was no penetration involved
There are some who would count oral sex and handjobs/fingering as losing virginity.
Anyone else feel like a relationship let alone losing their virginity is something so far from their reality that they stopped thinking about it unless it’s brought up in a conversation?
When normies assume I will get a bf one day they might as well be talking about flying cars.
Me too, I'm 21 and have not had any man interested in me whatsoever. It makes me kind of mad when people imply I will have a boyfriend in the future because it's so disconnected from my reality and I've expected it for so long without it happening, I don't believe it kek. My friends and family treat me like a child over it. I've just concluded that men must have too high of standards and don't even think about romance. I've tried and been humiliated way too much to keep up the self harm that is chasing men that obviously don't like me, otherwise they would have approached me.
I wish I was 21 and not in my thirties. it's all over.
Ayrt. I wish I was younger too, as sad as it sounds. Sometimes I like to think it's my personality, but I think it's my looks because the most mentally ill girls get bfs anyway kek. Going back in time probably wouldn't fix anything. I don't want to try dating apps, but that's my last hope. I'm too isolated from men my age. I recently lost a lot of weight, so I hold onto the cope that maybe now it'll be easier to find someone. But I'm so bitter and negative now, I don't know if I should bother because there are so many horror stories about apps. I just feel like I was meant to be alone and working against fate. Do you still try for romance, or have you given up hope entirely?
Am in my thirties and knew it was over when I was 15. Am too immature to date without the risk of having some abuser pick up on that and take advantage of me.
While my classmates around me were getting their first bfs/gfs, I was still a kid who wanted to read books and play computer games.
At my age, a [single] guy who could look past my baggage and take things slow is an absolute unicorn who could easily find a normal woman.
I know exactly the feeling. Recently my uni made us fill out some sort of diversity survey and one of the questions asked "What is your sexual orientation" and it made me realize how totally meaningless and foreign this shit is to me. For all intents and purposes I could be straight or lesbian or asexual or some sort of degenerate paraphilia and it would make absolutely no difference on my life, because I'll never have a relationship.
THIS! How do you even find a good or couple of good discord servers. I only find very damaged and cringe people in most of them.
It is nice to chat about the things that I'm interested but it would be better to chat in a sane and less autistic way of these things in discord. Seems like everyone there is on the full spectrum, idk anymore, this kind of sucks tbh
Whatever baggage you're talking about, I doubt that it's really that bad or sufficient to prevent you from being with a high value male. Emperor Justinian I married Theodora, a prostitute, because he saw her integrity, pride and dignity. Love yourself and hold your dignity no matter what indignities the world inflicts upon you. Even if you don't get a moid at the end, you'll already have won a greater prize: yourself.
I have really low self esteem from getting bullied at school, home and work
I don’t know if I will ever be able to love myself enough to be in a relationship
>>96962>Whatever baggage you're talking about, I doubt that it's really that bad or sufficient to prevent you from being with a high value male.
This is delusional by today standards. So just be comfortable with yourself because you genuinely see a benefit in that. Not because you want a male.
Being comfortable with yourself and wanting a husband are not mutually exclusive.
who is that man? he looks hot
>>95259>it puzzles me to know what could I have possibly done to deserve all of this
Not downplaying your valid struggle and emotions, but you chose this path every step of the way. Its not like a moid fucked your life up or you got a terminal disease.
Everytime I meet a boy I actually like I either go on a weird lecture about some obscure subject or try and get to know their trauma.
Exchange of trauma is an important step in the courtship process.
Don't change that one.
What subjects do you sperge about?
Psychology, AI, the benefits of genociding the human race, apes (screams included), REM sleep, Donkey Kong, five nights at freddy's, conspiracy theories and las vegas mole people.
It takes literal years for men to trauma dump to anyone
Holy shit, be my friend, NOW.
>>97225>benefits of genociding the human race
benefits for who?
>>97225>las vegas mole people
I read a bit about them and Im intrigued and disgusted in equal meassure.
It kind of reminds me of people who spend their time in the paris catacombs, with the obvious difference being that they don't actually live there.
I like to make monkey noises and say banana in the donkey kong voice, when I start doing monkey screams my friends always join in>>97238
I'm a pessimist and firm believer in Schopenhauer's philosophy "The suffering of the oppresed will always outweight the enjoyment of the oppressors" the history of the human race is one of unfairness and constant oppression, thus it would be better if every human would just die out, either via nukes or mass chemical castration.
The most recent and popular representation of this belief in media is the character of Rust Cohle in "True Detective"
>>97247>I like to make monkey noises and say banana in the donkey kong voice
That is so cute and stupid
Please say that you say it as you eat bananas
I don't really see how human race benefits from not existing. In order to benefit from something one has to exist in the first place.
If the only supposed benefit of humanity's extinction is lack of suffering, then I think you greatly overestimate how mucch suffering there is in the world.
i just stumbled across a reddit thread of a woman using tinder to lose her virginity. and she is sad because she thinks the guy just wants sex and she wants 'some sort of emotional connection' i can't express how much of a bad idea that is. i do not understand why some women let men have ready access to their bodies so easily. ill probably be a nun, i could never allow a guy that close to me. he'd only want to use me.
that's just confusing. even if one wants to use a dating app, there are more "serious" ones than tinder.
Saying you feel 'used' only makes sense if you feel like you don't get any use out of the other person. Even if you want an emotional connection, you can still appreciate a handsome man without one. Having sex with unattractive men, emotional connection or not, is not a smart choice. The real issue isn't women agreeing to let men use them; the problem is that they're selecting men they don't want in the first place. Stop letting ugly men use you. Start using men for their bodies.
I genuinely can't tell if this is male falseflag or not.
I kind of see what they’re saying. I think it’s interesting how there’s kind of this culture of shame around women who get ‘used’ by men when they’ve done nothing wrong. A lot of women are embarrassed to talk about times when they’ve slept with someone only for the guy to fuck off, which implies that there’s shame around that. I understand how devastating it is for something like that to happen, but I wish there was a more empowering way to see other than ‘oh she got used by this guy who was only looking for sex.’ I’m sure most men wouldn’t care if they slept with a girl and then she fucked off and never talked to him again, so why does this culture of shame and implicit blame only exist for women?
NTA. While these moids who use women for sex are disgusting and should be killed on sight, I disagree with the implication that these women are blameless. These women are not forced to have sex by means of violence, but are tricked by fraud. Then they have freely chosen to have sex with those disgusting moids, when they are free to not. They are not children, but they have all the brains and education, rationality and reason, due to an adult, sufficient intelligence to see through the lies of moids, and if they fail to realize how disgusting moids are, how much moids are given to lying, how incapable moids are of real love, as we miners have realized, then that is their fault. I don't mean that moids aren't the main perpetrators, but, in a way, because these women are confident enough to think they aren't being lied to, they are accessories to that culture of detached sex.
it was mostly about "Having sex with unattractive men, emotional connection or not, is not a smart choice." almost sounding like men who want literal harems. women they like emotionally for "serious stuff" and concubines for pleasure. this sounds the same just but with genders reversed and as hypocritical as the garbage you read on 4chan on /r9k/.
There is nothing hypocritical about what I said. Being 'used' has to do with how you feel about the situation. You can't be used by a man if you get what you want out of it. Too many women try to settle with disgusting moids who end up dumping them anyways and then feel used after the fact because they didn't benefit from it in any way. If they didn't lower their standards in the first place and only engaged with with men they found attractive, they wouldn't have that problem. If it works out, they have an attractive husband at the end of it, and if it doesn't, then they can move on and find a better moid. Whether or not they should be having casual encounters or relationships built around sex is another issue, but if they do, they shouldn't be wasting their time on subpar men.
Just orbit the top 20% of men most capable of slaying, that's like telling baby ducklings to go conquer Hamburger Hill.
>>98615>Whether or not they should be having casual encounters or relationships built around sex is another issue
No, that was the initial issue of the post mentioning the reddit thread. You were the first one in this reply chain to mention the words "handsome" or "unattractive". The fact that you mentioned it out of nowhere made this seem like a male falseflag.>Too many women try to settle with disgusting moids who end up dumping them anyways
Call me naive, but that won't happen when there is actual emotional connection.
I was responding to the notion of women being used in relationships, and mentioning attractiveness isn't 'out of nowhere.' Looks matter in relationships. If the encounter is casual, there's even less of a reason to prioritize emotional connectedness over looks. It's better not to get emotionally invested in men who do not bring the same energy. I don't care what ugly moids think about it and nonas here shouldn't either.
I feel like woman is allways the one being used. Men don't have to worry about pregnancy, even if they do get a woman preganant they can just run away from any consequences. Birth control can affect you in painful ways, while the only birth control for men is a condom that you just put on and take off. Additionally when it comes to sex itself, a man can pretty much never get dissapointed with it. He can just focus on himself, cum and be done with it without caring whether you enjoyed it or not. It seems like no matter how you look at it, woman is always the one being used. The only situation I can think of where it is the opposite, is when a guy has genuine feelings for you, you use him (and since he cares about you he will probably try to make you feel good) and then you discard him. In the scenario he really is being used.
What if you sit on face? Main risk is only spikey beard, plus moid face is obscured like an ugly cabbage.
>rarely experience attraction towards others even if I wanna get someone who loves me
>had a sexual experience and had my first kiss, but no penetrative sex happened
>the guy ended up getting with another girl later on, I never got the chance of a proper romantic relationship with him
>my cousin who has been very similar to me on being clueless about romance got a bf this year
>my mom wants me to get a bf already so I'm not so lonely
I'm only 22 but I'm clueless on romance, I've always been pretty bad with socialising in general. I have no clue how to get a partner and I fear everyday that I'll always be unloved and I'll never lose my virginity to someone meaningful. Even then I've been trying to be more social and I've found good people who I've began to be friends with, but my inability to feel attraction towards others just makes me feel like I'll never get a proper partner, just makes me feel like there's something wrong with me when I see girls who can get bfs pretty fast.
But 22 is still pretty young . There is no reason for you to be anxious, in fact it only makes your situation worse. I had my first boyfriend at 28 and I haven't missed a thing
I know I'm young nona and that life will always be unpredictable but I can't help but compare myself to others my age or younger that already had romance figured out. But you're right, I shouldn't be anxious, I just need to remember that.
22 is VERY young. Start worrying at 26 and again at 30. Live life until then and don't let men live rent free in your day to day headspace.
All these baby Nonas on CC are so cute.
>>99389>I fear everyday that I'll always be unloved and I'll never lose my virginity to someone meaningful
Exactly what I fear. Except my problem isn't inability to feel attraction, but rather inability to be social. I don't seek out social interactions on my own and I don't enjoy them much. Sure, I can hang around with people I know (if somone ever invites me anywhere) but going to a party or something is the opposite of what I'd consider fun. Social anxiety doesn't help either. The chances for me to ever find someone are extremely low and it makes me wonder whether I'm not just wasting my best years. If I'm never going to be loved then why not just get it over with and at least have some illusion of love? Not that I'd ever do that, it's mostly just thinking. The very idea of being intimate with someone scares me so unless its someone I know, trust and love I doubt I'd ever enjoy it. >>99390>>99392
I'm 24 and I already feel like I'm too old for a relationship. Everyone I know has had some experience, and it's been like that for a long time. Ever since like middleschool I was always the only one with absolutely 0 experience. Not even something as simple as holding hands. I always assumed that:>it's gonna happen when it's gonna happen, no need to rush
but not that while ago I realised that nothing has ever changed and it doesn't seem like anything is ever going to change. I'm not a normal person and it's not going to "just happen" as it does to normies.
It's hard to not compare myself to others when I feel so much different from them. If I knew at least one person in a similar situation irl, then maybe I wouldn't feel as bad, but I don't.
Another thing that also brings me down is the fact that people age. I don't think I would ever be ok with somone who has more experience than me, and with each passing year my chances of ever finding somone like me are getting slimmer and slimmer.
It's hard for me not to panic whenever I think about my future.
I know it's not that serious to be a virgin at 18 especially because I celebrated last month, but all the girls at my class lost their at 16. I feel a bit bad for chickening out when I had the opportunity.
I feel like I'm too late to the party because the average age is 17/16, and I'm not even close to meeting a guy let alone lose my virginity, meanwhile girls around me are in 1 year relationships irl, mine was 3 months ONLINE. (┬┬﹏┬┬)
That just means whoever you may come across might be more meaningful, and you won't treat people as disposable things so easily.
Yeah you're right, but it's still so disappointing because I have no experience in anything, at my age people would expect me to know how a first date goes, but I have no fucking idea how any of this works. I have only kissed ones in my life and I was TERRIBLE at it, I accidentally bit him. (ノへ￣、)
>>99402>I feel a bit bad for chickening out when I had the opportunity
If you don't want to do it, don't do it. It's not "chickening out", you just have a strong sense of boundaries. There will be many, many opportunities to come. The difficulty isn't in doing it, but in finding the right one with whom to do it. Sadly every good guy I find is TAKEN so my only advice is to nab a good man while he's still available.
18 isn't really the age when you should worry about it.
If you're relatively normal I'd say you should try to go out more and seek out more social activities to have more opportunities to meet someone. But don't think of this as a pressing matter and something that needs to happen asap.
You have different boundaries than those girls, and that's totally healthy. You'll have sex when you meet someone you're comfortable getting that close to, and that can't be easy when we live in a sex-crazy society.
But you aren't a prude, you just have different boundaries than the other girls you know. And some of them are probably lying, there's a lot of pressure to do it once the first few girls lose their v-card. Their friends lose it, then while telling their friends, those friends panic and go "oh yeah, right, me too."
>I feel a bit bad for chickening out when I had the opportunity.
Don't be. I had one where I also chickened out but the guy ended up being one of the worst people I've ever met. He spread a bunch of lies about me, told me to never talk to him again and blocked me after I didn't let him go all the way, and then caused me to try and kill myself. I don't regret not going all the way with him to this day because I would rather die a virgin than ever lose my virginity to someone like that. No matter how much people say sex/virginity is overrated. Of course there's people you could lose it to who end up being pieces of shit, but with who you didn't see it coming, and that's unfortunate. But if you can, then avoid it all costs because you deserve to lose it to someone who cares about you and that will treat you right.
losing your virginity means nothing unless you're happy in yourself and able to love other people as friends and then lovers. i wish i hadn't made that mistake when i lost my virginity.
yeah you are right nonas, but I face so much pressure. I had a guy I talked with online and he asked me how I'm still a virgin and it kinda gave more pressure on me, because with age I won't look as good and my chances will be slimmer and it's really stressing me out, I just want to make sure I don't miss the chance>>99459
yeah and if I'm gonna be fully honest I do kinda regret it but a part of me doesn't really regret it too, the guy I backed off from was too much for me, I don't think I can ever form a happy and healthy relationship with him, our relationship REALLY reminds me of Aiko and Punpun (pic related) and I'm sure it flashes red lights like insane. but we are still in touch because fate literally can't stop tormenting me and me and the guy will always be connected one way or another
AITW If you can't see yourself having a relationship with him but also don't want a FWB, then don't have sex with him. It's been a long time since I've read that manga so I'm not sure what you mean by Aiko and Punpun but yeah if it's toxic, then nothing can end well. There's a difference between backing off when you are just irrationally scared, and when you feel genuinely uncomfortable and not ready.
The guy I almost went all the way with had multiple red flags all over him:
1) Was a TIM
2) Complained how he "hates condoms" after I had to remind him about putting one on
3) Narcissist that bragged about how many women he had slept with and how he gave all of them multiple orgasms
4) Warned me "not to fall in love" with him before we started. So right off the bat it would have never been anything more than a FWB at best
5) Had a gf that sounded like she was a whore, but he said he had never been tested and blatantly refused to. May have carried STDs for all I know. I was not about to have PIV with someone like that.
Actually why are the guys we almost slept with kinda similar..
The guy I almost slept with had all of those red flags pinned on him>also wasn't a fan of condoms like at all>has of a savior complex (literally admitted it to me on call)>got with me right after he broke up pretty much>asked me out when I was having kind of a mental breakdown so I wasn't fully there but I still dated him because I loved him>kept bragging about his dick size (still does, when he has a girlfriend. literally one of the only things he is proud of, I also told him to stop when it started to be frequent)>just opened porn on call and started masturbating (even though he had a gf at the time I'm sure, it was also milfs)>bragged to me about how he received a bj from his gf before we got together, I think it's strange personally
at least I feel like all of those are red flags, please correct me if any of those things are normal
and a red flag I noticed recently is how he talks about his sex life and I'm not joking when I say that he was bitching about having a big dick. he also told me a few times that he slept with his gf on some occasions, strange as hell.
Yet, I still love him a bit, and I can't shake the feeling off that we are meant for each other one way or another. I will always care for him and I really hate it. :/
This is gonna sound fucked up, but if the pressure's from your friends, why not lie? And if it's from men, they're disgusting anyway. They're fed this red pill shit gassing them up until they think they're hot shit just for ramming their dick into a young girl the way they do into their own filthy hands, holes in melons, and whatever else they can frantically hump like a dog with a stuffed animal. Men will fuck anything, it's nothing to them.
If you're wanting to experience it, for YOURSELF, no one else, the best way is through your most trusted friends. Friends of friends are the best boyfriends or hookups.
Yeah I was thinking of just having a friend with benefits, it's easier and the idea is more appealing to me than a partner.
might be because I'm scared of relationships, but it still seems so much better than having a bf
but my best friend is gay and he's not into that(。﹏。*)
I'm 28 and still a virgin, I did have a bf when I was 21 (we were actually together for 3 years) but I never had sex with him because it just didn't feel right. I liked him but not loved him and whenever we did something (by something I mean 97% jacking him off with his underwear on and 3% him playing with my tits) I felt so disgusted and uncomfortable, it just felt so wrong. Luckily he never pushed me for more and we're even friends nowadays. At first I did question if I fucked up by not just "taking my chance, who cares if I don't like him, a dick is a dick" but I just can't, and with time I actually stopped feeling bad about it. Like yeah I'm missing out on such a human thing and in a way it does make me sad but honestly who cares, what matters is that I'm comfortable, ready, and find someone I genuinely love and know he loves me too, that I can feel safe and have my own needs be respected as well, and if that doesn't happen until I'm in my 30s or 40s or whatever, then so be it. The idea of doing it with someone I don't love absolutely repulses me, must be my autism idk but yeah this is my reality now.
Though ngl, I have been using toys for years now and the orgasms I manage to get are honestly insane, I sometimes worry that I made them too good to the point that when I actually do have real sex it will feel subpar to what I'm already doing, basically I'm scared my dildos ruined real future dicks lol
You were in a 3 year relationship with a guy you never had sex with or loved? Can I ask why were you in the relationship? Because that seems fairly pointless to be honest.
And yes, if you have been using toys for that long, I think you are only going to be disappointed when it comes to the real thing.
My problem is that I willingly remained a virgin, I could've lost it before but chose not to because to me it's something you do with someone you really love, and because of that I want the man I'll be with to also be a willing virgin but that seems impossible, specially at my age (27). All men in their late 20s who're still virgins are either incels or religious nutjobs, I just want a normal man who also could've very easily lost it but chose not to, but yeah that's not happening. Idk I just find the idea of my future loved one having already fucked someone else kinda…….. sad? Like he already felt and did something so deep and emotional with someone else so it's not special anymore? I know it's fucking dumb but I can't help thinking like that, if I think of a potential man I love having loved and fucked someone else it legit makes me sad.
The thought of losing my virginity makes me afraid. Sex is disgusting. Especially with how little people think of it. It means so little to others but it means a lot to me. I'm scared to lose my virginity and be faced with cruel reality of what sex actually is.
It is like I am losing something important. It feels like my virginity is a part of who I am.
What is an easy way to tell if a guy is really virgin or not? I want to start dating soon but idk how I would tell if a guy is really virgin or lying. Should I also be transparent about my own virginity and interest in male virgins or should I keep it private and only reveal it later after more conversation?
if you want him to be sincere:
1 dont tell him beforehand you are looking for/prefer a virgin male
2 dont let him perceive even indirectly that you are looking for/prefer a virgin male
3 do not open up about your own virginity before he does so
4 dont ask about his virginity too soon into the getting to know him phase
5 show yourself as a generally open minded and non judgemental person (even if you are not)
i usually get info out of scrotes by making comments more or less loosely related to the topic i want to know his stance on.
in this case i would make up a story about one of my friends losing his/her virginity recently, or ask what he thinks about the current dating culture/trends and such.
men usually tell on themselves by talking too much. they are not as used as us to being reprimanded so they tend to share their problematic thoughts much more freely and even derive narc pleasure from doing so (but they will control themselves and lie lie lie for pussy so that's where you need to be careful).
anyways you are in luck because male virginity isn't valued by scrotes so they usually will lie about being non-virgins rather than being virgins (but do keep an eye out for misfits/4chan/otaku/nerds and so on, as they are the most likely to be virgins, but also the most likely to lie about being so because they usually have poltard trad views and do not want to be called out on their hipocrisy of wanting a virgin gf while not being
>>100108>Like he already felt and did something so deep and emotional with someone else
I'm not saying men can't feel this way about sex, but I feel like 99% of the ones who do fall under "religious nutjobs" and you don't want them anyway. I was in your shoes (willing virgin, zero interest in casual anything), but I lost my virginity at 28 to a guy who had a bit of a body count and I'm still with him 8 years later. I feel like not settling in this one regard in your age bracket could hurt your chances at a good partner in the long run.
>>100108>All men in their late 20s who're still virgins are either incels or religious nutjobs
the majority for sure, but not all
I'm starting to feel like I'm some sort of asexual. I have a libido but I can't see myself having sex or a relationship at all. The thought sickens me. The closest I get to such things are my ships. I feel so stunted. When I was younger I thought it was a lack of attraction to men, then I thought I might be a lesbian. Multiple girls have asked me out but I've always been too scared to say yes. Het romance and sex revolt me. I really like the emotional connections I see in my m/m and f/f ships, but 18+ f/f is the only thing that excites me so I must be a lesbian. I'm in my twenties now and I've never even held hands with a girl. I know that if I applied myself I could get a gf, but it's so scary. I have no experience, and unless I can find another KHHV weeb woman I fail to see how any woman would stay around for more then the first few dates. I'd much rather read about my little homos and enjoy their manufactured happiness than risk intimacy with another human being. I haven't even formed solid friendships despite being able to get along with others well. I feel like there is a wall separating me from others. I can't be open to people I know irl and I can't communicate with others long enough to form bonds with others online. When imagine myself in the future I'm alone. No friends no family. Just me and my cats.
Thanks nona, solid advice so, it's a matter of taking time and waiting to talk about the serious stuff I guess? I also want to make sure we have no premarital sex because I don't want to lose my virginity and then get dumped, but I'm worried not many guys want to follow through with that or would cheat behind my back. I'm thinking that should be made clear at the very beginning or after a few dates?
i understand your fear about being dumped after having sex with a guy, however the strategy of waiting till marriage could bite you in the ass , and i'll tell you why i think so.
you wouldn't want to secure a good relationship with a good moid by ensuring he doesn't dump/cheat using strategies.
strategies are useful and always welcome, however
he needs to be a good man and treat you well because that's his nature. prevention doesn't work with males: if he's a cheater he will cheat, no matter how much you try to not make that happen. if he is a coomer dumper he will dump you no matter what, too.
so you need a guy that would not dump you even if you had sex before marriage.
if you want to wait anyways that is fine, but please never date a moid you are making behave through your own actions. only date a man who is good to you out of his own volition and nature.
that's all you need to have the kind of relationship you want and deserve, but i'm going to be honest here: that's extremelyyy rare.
NTA, but I don't understand your logic. Nona is saying she doesn't want to get "pumped and dumped", in other words, she doesn't want to have sex with a moid only for him to leave her. Because marriage is a vow of commitment, by waiting until marriage, Nona's first and only sexual partner will have sworn that he will not leave her, as part of their marriage vows.
You seem to think that her plan of waiting until marriage is supposed to somehow change a coomer moid into a noncoomer, which is not her intention. I do agree with your statement that Nona must find a moid who will be good without her intervention, but I believe waiting until marriage is the method of finding. By bringing this issue up front, coomer slutty moids will immediately lose interest.
t. also waiting until marriage
ive met desperate men willing to wait till marriage if desired by their partners because they were incel tier and scared of not finding anyone else to be with (not that a girl waiting till marriage is a subpar choice in any way, but it is a subpar choice agreement for scrotes).
i dont think waiting till marriage is or ever will be an effective method of finding a good man, because while i do believe that there might be a healthy, good 1%, most of them are either:
1 religious and neurotic nutcases that secretly do want and would have sex before marriage (travis alexander is an example of this)
2 settling and desperate
but 99% of men who arent waiting for marriage are trash too so i can see that as a way of preventing being "pumped and dumped" it can be very effective, however i dont see the win of marrying someone who would have done so anyways in a different circumstance/is a typical scrote with extra neurosis sprinkled in, hence why i said to prioritize the person he is rather than risking to involuntarily bribe a worthless moid with the promise of future sex and a wifey.
repostahn cause fuq up >>100260
I'm not trying to change someone's personality I'm using it as a filter. I don't want a sexless guy either I just want a faithful guy who will love me honestly so I know he will love and stay with me when we are old and I want marriage to be a sign of commitment like the other nona said. Also what if we realize we simply can't be together for whatever legitimate reason, then at least I wouldn't lose my v-card if I had sex before we tied the knot. >>100270
Yeah this is basically part of what I was thinking. >>100271
You say that most male virgins are nutcases or desperate but I suspect due to the increasing trend of many men dropping out of dating culture and choosing to be volcel in many societies around the world the percentage of men like that is decreasing as even normie men are starting to get sick of hook up culture, but I agree there are many male virgins who are weird in the bad way. I also know the value placed on virginity can be very scrote-minded but I am simply a sappy romantic and I personally care about my v-card.
>but 99% of men who arent waiting for marriage are trash too so i can see that as a way of preventing being "pumped and dumped" it can be very effective, however i dont see the win of marrying someone who would have done so anyways in a different circumstance/is a typical scrote with extra neurosis sprinkled in, hence why i said to prioritize the person he is rather than risking to involuntarily bribe a worthless moid with the promise of future sex and a wifey.
I see your point, perhaps I wouldn't care if he is non virgin if he only had like 1 or 2 partners before as long as we don't have premarital sex. Someone like that would most likely be less neurotic and the chances of finding a guy to settle down with would probably increase. I think the most important thing is that he is not mentally unstable for commitment.
>>100282>increasing trend of many men dropping out of dating culture and choosing to be volcel in many societies around the world the percentage of men like that is decreasing as even normie men are starting to get sick of hook up culture
If you find one of these you must do a sniff test on whether or not they are still quietly building resentment against women. From what I've observed most of the dropouts are MGTOW-tier and blame women for hookup culture when it's men that have been applying the pressure for casual sex for decades.
Ok thanks nona for the help and by sniff test I'm assuming you mean asking his opinions on certain topics in conversations which I'll be sure to do, I'll be really careful!
Honestly as a virgin I have grown deeply misandrist. If I ever want a child I can just freeze my eggs and go to a sperm bank, we live in a world where being married to a disgusting moid is simply not mandatory to have a child anymore. The male sex is a disease that needs to be wiped out.
Sitting alone beside the window on a cold rainy day, the warmth of the tea traveling down to my stomach comforts and rejuvenates me. It gives me a glimpse of what holding a loved one would feel like.
Here to post bc I'm just feeling really shit at the moment ^w^
I have been at uni for half a year and still have yet to make a single friend (social anxiety, I come off as creepy.) I try to strike conversation whenever I can but I always get the feeling that whoever I'm talking to is uncomfortable so its hard.
I'm not bad looking, just pretty tall/ muscular for a girl which is annoying, bc I prefer to dress more feminine. It just feels like nobody finds me attractive at all. Online the majority of people say women get romantic attention/ attention from men all the time, so what is wrong with me? I've never had anyone interested in me like that at all, not even when I was in high-school. Am I that unappealing and I just don't realise? Or am I just autistic and doomed to never realise that someone is making moves? I feel really alone. Whenever someone is nice to me I get butterflies in my stomach and think about it for days, then I remember they probably don't think anything of me. Sorry this is rambling. I just want someone to love who loves me back, and holds my hand and cuddles me. Overall, I'm not good socially, but I still want to make friendships and have a relationship. Any advice?
Well, judging on your current path, I would ask you some questions.
What do you want to major in when you're completed with college?
I would also ask you whether you are currently in a club or group of some sorts. Being around socially adjusted people results in a more socially/physically/emotionally stable life.
I plan on majoring in something like art history, still not 100% sure though.
I'm not in any clubs, I go to the gym but keep to myself because awkward and scary
Looking at what you've said, I think you should try to find a quiet, but close-knit group of individuals that you share one or two interests with. Since you're in your first year, you seem pretty young and unsure of what lies ahead. I would encourage you to make a meeting with a college counselor you trust or are willing to open up to. They can help you find clubs or small groups that you can socialize with. As it stands, you do seem nervous around loud or crowded groups.
Wow, American college really is different. Not only campus life but also staff like college counselor>>102704>Whenever someone is nice to me I get butterflies in my stomach and think about it for days
That's good and you shouldn't be ashamed of this>then I remember they probably don't think anything of me
I can tell you that is in everyone of us keeping most of us down. Sometimes people tend to overanalyze daily encounters as if they handle math problems and this fucks with our brains. Just take one of these and hunt for more butterflies. You've made the experience start farming and develop your char
While counselors are great, college quality can affect the quality of the counselors. However, more often than not the counselors at colleges are very knowledgeable about the school at an academic, social, and job level. The counselors at my community college all graduated from big shot universities like Ann Arbor or Texas A&M. Hell, most of them come from your average public colleges.
I used to think I got used to being alone, that I didn't and would never feel the craving for touch and affection again but I was wrong.
I spent some time with a moid from my extended family and the frequent interaction and proximity brought all those repressed needs rushing back. I believe I was even starting to fall in love during the last couple of days we spent together. Even now I still spend like 1/4th of the day thinking about him.
Why am I like this, I'm 25 ffs