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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Virgin Thread Anonymous 50440

I always feel so alone because it feels as though EVERY woman has had some sort of romantic, or sexual experience. And here I am with nothing, a pathetic adult female KHHV. I feel so alone and as though my time is running out. My goal isn't to lose my virginity, but find someone who loves me.

Anonymous 50441

i;m a virgin because i hate men and i never want to go near any of them because they all suck so much

Anonymous 50442

I feel you OP. We can be alone together

Anonymous 50443

I'm 23 and people online tell me that I'm so young and I still have plenty of time but realistically 23 is extremely old to have 0 experience
It honestly feels like it's too late

Anonymous 50445

>My goal isn't to lose my virginity, but find someone who loves me.
The dilemma of all women in the world. I feel you.

Anyway how old OP?

I ain't a virgin (lost it to an ex who didnt work) but the quest for romance is still on going. Trust me sex ain't worth it without the romantic element and if the moid doesn't eat out or moves enough tbh.

Anonymous 50447

>tfw turning 30 in a week and the ticking clock is audible

I dislike men in general, because finding one who's kind and good all the way to his core, without some streak of cruelty, is near impossible. It further narrows the search by needing someone who's funny, intelligent and gentle.

The closest I got was when I was 20, staying for a movie night with my best friend. Got my first kiss and we messed around, just over-the-clothes touching, but he pulled back because he was worried I'd regret it in the morning. The next day we walked and held hands. The closest to real romance I've had was with the same guy, because we know each other so well, and he always wants to see me happy.

I still feel a little lovesick on my birthdays because he will just turn up with some ridiculous form of gift and we'll end up alone together, enjoying ourselves immensely, sometimes for days if he organises a trip somewhere. I always end up coming back to my empty house and crying after he leaves. It kills me that he loves me, but it'll never be in the way I need.

Anonymous 50448

there is… definitely more here that isn't being said. what exactly is going on with you and him?

Anonymous 50454

>lost it to an ex who didnt work
right in the feels anon

>tfw lost anal virginity first

what the fuck is wrong with me

Anonymous 50455

Well I am 30+ virgin, at your age I still had the slim chance to find someone at uni. Never happened though and here we are.

Early 20s is the perfect time to find first bf, at 27 it begins to be too late and at 30 it’s hopeless. Everyone expects you to have experience, something must be WRONG with you if nobody has touched you by that point.

Anonymous 50456

Even coomer moids stop fetishising virginity eventually and it just becomes sad. Weird how it's so important to them, though only for a limited window that's not even beyond dating age. I guess it really just is a fetishisation of youth.

We've been best friends for 12 years and by the time I realised I was in love with him, it was too late. That's it.

Anonymous 50457

>Early 20s is the perfect time to find first bf, at 27 it begins to be too late and at 30 it’s hopeless. Everyone expects you to have experience, something must be WRONG with you if nobody has touched you by that point.
Yeah. I had chances at uni but the first few years I was fat and then I hardly met any men anymore. Now I just slave away every day in an office where everyone else is married.

Anonymous 50460

Same age and I started feeling apathetic as soon as my birthday hit. Before then I was active in my search for someone but now I'm just open if they waltz into my life. I have other interests and have come to terms with being a loner who even gets annoyed that I have to talk to friends sometimes, so it's whatever.

At least in my case I'm open to men and women. This either makes my chances better or my KHV status more sad depending on how you look at it.

Anonymous 50462

Im 28 and still a virgin. I had my chances over the years but always pushed them away because I always saw their flaws, that only into me because they're horny and would leave me eventually.

Anonymous 50463

Do you regret it? I'm kind of in the same boat honestly, but I do regret it.

Anonymous 50472

Once you graduate university and start working it becomes 100x more difficult to meet guys. I'm by far the youngest person in my workplace most of the other employees are in their 40s and 50s and person who is closest to me in terms of age is still a decade older than me and married.

Anonymous 50474

Is it just me or does it feel like even the younger guys tend to be married in an office setting? It's like everyone is single in college and then you get a job and everyone around you has a family.

Anonymous 50481


I'll be 22 this year and I'm a KHHV. My mom was already married at that age, meanwhile I haven't even been on a single date. I want to have sex and cuddle and kiss and whatnot but my face is just too ugly. I will go on a bit of a "femcel" rant here, so please feel free to not read this post if you find that annoyoing. But ugh. It sucks to be the only girl never asked out or noticed by guys. Like the only girl never asked to dance during a party. I'm always the tallest and the ugliest woman in the room, covering up my face with hair even as an adult. When I was a teen or going to college in person I was really bitter about it, but since the quarantine hit I've been feeling much calmer. Lately I have almost stopped thinking about this entirely. In a way I'm grateful, because as an ugly woman, I know the real needlessly cruel nature of men. So I'd rather not get involved with them anyway. Lol sorry if this sounds too dramatic.

Anonymous 50482

I would try to get yourself out there as much as possible while you're in a university setting because otherwise by the time you go off to work or to graduate school, all the worthy moids are in a serious relationship they started in their undergrad.

Anonymous 50488

I would guess that if a guy is young and actually has a well paying white collar job he probably takes life seriously and thinks long term so it makes sense that someone like that would get married younger.

Anonymous 50490

Why would I regret not throwing away my v-card to some retards that doesn't love but only want temporary fun and have not interest in a serious relationship? There are so many stories of farmers and miners regretting having sex with miserable scrotes.

Anonymous 50492

You lament not getting to date anyone, but simultaneously bemoan that all men are vicious and evil. I would hope you realize what situation you're placing yourself in mentally, and hopefully confront it with a therapist to resolve this defense mechanism. That is, only if you truly desire to be with someone.

Anonymous 50502

nta but both feelings can coexist.
You can lack the money for a house, while also acknowledging the local housing market is overpriced and the houses are all falling apart and full of mould anyway. What you'd really like is for the houses to be decent quality AND affordable…but this is not reality.

In general most people do kind of suck. And if you're poorly socialized it's hard to pick up their lies/initial fake impression.

Anonymous 50512


I'm not saying "all men are vicious". I was just really heavily bullied by men and that left me with feelings of disturst towards them. I don't think it's weird to desire idealized romantic relationship while acknowledging that reality is completely different.

Anonymous 50513

Men are especially cruel to ugly women. They only appear good to those who have not felt their hatred. It’s only natural to lament not having been born with a face deserving of kindness. You can want for something while knowing it’s impossible for you. It’s disingenuous to suggest therapy knowing the way that men are.

Anonymous 50521

I'm 22 and a virgin. I wasted my teenage years with a LTR with an eating disorder and bad acne, playing video games all day. My personality is a strange mix of extreme pride and low self-esteem and perfectionism. I currently consider teenage relationships to be sour grapes. Vast majority of men have irksome qualities. Insensitive and brutish. I got lucky and "found someone who loves me". Unfortunately my teenage hangups are still there so I could not see myself as lovable otherwise, but I couldn't risk losing them, so after months of self-loathing I finally found the courage and money to glow up, now with the weight and acne mostly gone I'd consider my hangups sufficiently rationalized away.

My advice to you is to work on yourself.

Anonymous 50537

my car broke

Anonymous 50572

What do you mean too late? You've messed around in the past, and the only reason he stopped was out of concern for you. He 100% has feelings but is giving you time to come to terms with yours. I'd tell you take a leap of faith, but it's so obvious he's into you it's more of a step down the stairs.

Go for it! How would you feel seeing him with another woman? Admitting he always has feelings for you? That isn't something you can risk anon

Anonymous 50614

don't lose hope! my khhv sister met her boyfriend at 24 going on 25. and he's a good boyfriend. just put yourself out there, work on yourself, and find a nice guy! and my friend met her boyfriend who loves her at 27 so it's never too late! he actually pursued her, not the other way around. both of these guys are extremely nerdy and introverted types so i think finding a shy guy is your best bet.

Anonymous 50615

it's the opposite
chastity is a treasure
do not lose hope

Anonymous 50628


Anonymous 50715

Don't fall for the experience meme. Every relationship begins with 0 experience. 0 understanding of the other person, 0 knowledge of their sexual preferences, 0 knowledge of every aspect of their lives. Coming from a place of ignorance actually makes you a better potential partner because you won't assume what the other person likes and dislikes, you'll find out as you go along. Just make sure you find someone willing to do the same.

Anonymous 52171

maik the liar.png


Anonymous 52197

>Men are especially cruel to ugly women.
This is extremely true. When you're ugly, men don't register you as female, but they don't respect you like they would a man. You're nothing, because you lack the one thing they value women for. You get all the misogyny, plus the stuff men will say around you because they don't care to perform niceness in front of you, they will let loose about how much they truly hate women, but it's okay, they can tell you because it's not like you're one of them. Sometimes, depending on the men you're surrounded by, they'll make a pass at you not because they're really into you but because they have settled for someone "attainable", but they'll always resent you for not meeting their standards, or for rejecting them when you should be desperate.

Anonymous 54253

Depends on what you want from life.
If you just want sex, there is no time limit. If you want a wealthy partner, earlier is better than later for your chances. Money bags like childlike females 🙄

Anonymous 54282

>tell bf that I was virgin and that he took my virginity
>actually lost it three years before to a man twice my age
>every time the topic of first times come up I want to die because my boyfriend believes a lie I told him
>I’m positive he would leave me if he knew I lied about something like this

Anonymous 54287

Virginity is a stupid concept anyway. If he puts that much meaning on it, he deserves to be deceived.

Anonymous 54288

Florida is hell. Everyone here is taken.

Anonymous 54290

You can be upset over having been lied to even though you don’t care about the actual thing that was lied about

Anonymous 54291

Everyone lies. It is just a fact. It is perfectly fine to lie to men anyways. Their feeble minds are incapable of handling reality. You do them a favor by deceiving them.

Anonymous 54293

>everyone lies
True, not everyone lies to their partner about petty things or without a good reason, though.
If someone just casually lies about various things, they probably aren't someone with a lot of moral integrity or someone you can rely on and trust not to cheat.

Anonymous 54314

dishonesty is bad anon

Anonymous 54328

20 khhv, never been shown interest from any guy, as a child/young teen I was overweight so it was understandable but since losing it now my body is full of stretch marks, loose skin and I have saggy breasts. I hold a lot of resentment towards my parents for essentially ruining my body, they’re both overweight and passed their eating habits onto me. I’m too embarrassed to ever be seen naked like this so I don’t see me losing it anytime soon. The only ‘relationship’ experience I have is from edaiting w men across the continent so I didn’t worry about them ever seeing or touching my body. I have a lot of FOMO from missing out on teenage love.

Anonymous 54329

Don't care about the topic

tbh people who say this sort of thing have a pretty poor grasp on reality themselves, and get caught up in and start to believe their own lies

Anonymous 54331

are you me

Anonymous 54395

I'm very sorry you feel this way. I had the same FOMO too, I'm 23 and was in a similar boat as you at your age. I made the mistake of falling for the first guy who showed me interest, then he had his way with me and I never saw him again. Now I only feel worse. I don't want to be that. I want to be loved, not merely wanted when the time is right. I want to be devoured, not chewed up and spat out again. I want to be the moon among the stars dancing with the Earth in a celestial ballet, not just some comet that catches your eye for a night. You are capable of being loved, you are deserving of true love. I would rather hold out for a decent man and die alone than settle for such lecherous swine again. I know we are all doomed to fall for this trap again and again.

I truly despise humanity for the evils it inflicts upon itself sometimes, but I know that's wrong. I blamed my parents when I was younger, but they know no better. They loved me, and everything they did was, they thought, in their best interest. They were just uneducated, and no one's perfect. Even that pig… I can accept he didn't want to hurt me, and if he did want to, well, it's because something hurt him. There is freedom in letting go, and only misery in dwelling on mistakes and regrets. I am learning to not focus on the past, since I can only change the future. I have been spending my time since educating myself on all the things I was too young to care about in high school. I feel like my dream of chasing the stereotypical teenage life lead me to miss out on other, equally beautiful things that I only wish I had discovered sooner, but I'm consoled by the fact that I'm discovering them now. We shouldn't fret about missing out on love, lots of people do, just look at the divirces and affairs that pop up all around us. If it is meant to be, it will happen naturally, and if not, well, you can't regret not doing the impossible. Just do your best and respect everyone. If you do that, I will be proud of you, and you will be proud of yourself too. Sorry for the blog post and my meandering thoughts, I wish everyone here the best of luck.

Anonymous 54407

when it hurts because its true : >

Anonymous 54460

>We shouldn't fret about missing out on love, lots of people do, just look at the divirces and affairs that pop up all around us. If it is meant to be, it will happen naturally
Based and very true. My FOMO has gradually dissipated as I've seen how unhappy and constrained many of the friends I have in a relationships are by my age (29), many of them doing it out of fear of the alternative or because they're too financially intertwined, or that they've never even considered they might be better off single. Being alone is preferable to that in my book. If something great comes along that's one thing, but just any old relationship can be a horrible life.

Anonymous 54491

human consciousness is a wasted gift developed by mistake, which gets constantly chewed in the cogs of physics and evolution. certain bits of consciousness cant help but mimic such cogs, probably not to get completely obliterated. you are one of such mimic cogs

Anonymous 54493


I feel really bored and lonely rn and I was thinking of downloading tinder again when I suddenly remembered that I literally only got 2 matches last time that didn't even talk to me so what's the point.

Anonymous 54638

I am a 24 year old female khhv. I've learned to just move on with my life. Basically, I was fat throughout high school and had virtually no real friends (I had acquaintances in classes where we would pair up for projects only). Teenage guys can be very cruel to teenage girls when they aren't conventionally attractive (they usually thought they deserved someone like Selena Gomez or Miley Cyrus in terms of looks). College I had a terrible experience with two roommates and moved to a single dorm. No bfs. After moving back home, I still had no bfs. Finished college at 23 and have been neeting for almost a year (thanks pandemic). I would feel pathetic going on a dating app with nothing going for me in life. Only been approached by one creep and it scared me. One guy offered to take my virginity but he was a clear player, so I refused.

Anonymous 54651

I am also a 24 year old khhv too anon. I had similar experiences as you. I was fat in elementary school so I had no friends. Come middle school and high school, puberty had ruined my cute features and turned me ugly. I got bullied by both boys and girls. The boys made fun of how ugly I was. The girls made fun of me for how I dressed. I tried desperately to fit in with makeup and fashion trends but no matter how hard I tried, no style will improve the looks of an ugly mannish looking girl. In college I coped with my loneliness through binge eating and got tricked into thinking my youthful metabolism would stave off the pounds. Metabolism is a myth because I soon turned obese. On top of that, I was stressed with school and got acne everywhere - all over my face, my arms, my chest and back. I was so depressed because I was lonely. And I was so stressed because of school and commuting. I commuted 3h a day to attend lectures, and by the time lecture was done, all I wanted to do was escape home and sleep. I made no friends. I joined no clubs. Dating in college was impossible. I couldn't bring boys home because I still lived with my parents and felt like a massive loser.
Now I am still living with my parents and feel like a massive loser. I don't think I'll ever find happiness until I move out. If given the choice to fuck a hot guy, I would refuse too. I would rather have someone fall in love with me for my personality instead of fucking for the sake of horny. Dating apps are a plague. The men on there only want a quick fuck whereas most women just want a nice relationship.

Anonymous 54666

I also had to commute to high school on a bus. It was hell. I got my driver's license and a car by the time I was 22 (and it is important to drive where I live to get around). I also can't bring a guy home because I have no privacy.

It took me years to find a proper hair care technique and skin care routine by myself to look somewhat presentable. I just regret so many wasted years.

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