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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Virgin Thread Anonymous 50440

I always feel so alone because it feels as though EVERY woman has had some sort of romantic, or sexual experience. And here I am with nothing, a pathetic adult female KHHV. I feel so alone and as though my time is running out. My goal isn't to lose my virginity, but find someone who loves me.

Anonymous 50441

i;m a virgin because i hate men and i never want to go near any of them because they all suck so much

Anonymous 50442

I feel you OP. We can be alone together

Anonymous 50443

I'm 23 and people online tell me that I'm so young and I still have plenty of time but realistically 23 is extremely old to have 0 experience
It honestly feels like it's too late

Anonymous 50445

>My goal isn't to lose my virginity, but find someone who loves me.
The dilemma of all women in the world. I feel you.

Anyway how old OP?

I ain't a virgin (lost it to an ex who didnt work) but the quest for romance is still on going. Trust me sex ain't worth it without the romantic element and if the moid doesn't eat out or moves enough tbh.

Anonymous 50447

>tfw turning 30 in a week and the ticking clock is audible

I dislike men in general, because finding one who's kind and good all the way to his core, without some streak of cruelty, is near impossible. It further narrows the search by needing someone who's funny, intelligent and gentle.

The closest I got was when I was 20, staying for a movie night with my best friend. Got my first kiss and we messed around, just over-the-clothes touching, but he pulled back because he was worried I'd regret it in the morning. The next day we walked and held hands. The closest to real romance I've had was with the same guy, because we know each other so well, and he always wants to see me happy.

I still feel a little lovesick on my birthdays because he will just turn up with some ridiculous form of gift and we'll end up alone together, enjoying ourselves immensely, sometimes for days if he organises a trip somewhere. I always end up coming back to my empty house and crying after he leaves. It kills me that he loves me, but it'll never be in the way I need.

Anonymous 50448

there is… definitely more here that isn't being said. what exactly is going on with you and him?

Anonymous 50454

>lost it to an ex who didnt work
right in the feels anon

>tfw lost anal virginity first

what the fuck is wrong with me

Anonymous 50455

Well I am 30+ virgin, at your age I still had the slim chance to find someone at uni. Never happened though and here we are.

Early 20s is the perfect time to find first bf, at 27 it begins to be too late and at 30 it’s hopeless. Everyone expects you to have experience, something must be WRONG with you if nobody has touched you by that point.

Anonymous 50456

Even coomer moids stop fetishising virginity eventually and it just becomes sad. Weird how it's so important to them, though only for a limited window that's not even beyond dating age. I guess it really just is a fetishisation of youth.

We've been best friends for 12 years and by the time I realised I was in love with him, it was too late. That's it.

Anonymous 50457

>Early 20s is the perfect time to find first bf, at 27 it begins to be too late and at 30 it’s hopeless. Everyone expects you to have experience, something must be WRONG with you if nobody has touched you by that point.
Yeah. I had chances at uni but the first few years I was fat and then I hardly met any men anymore. Now I just slave away every day in an office where everyone else is married.

Anonymous 50460

Same age and I started feeling apathetic as soon as my birthday hit. Before then I was active in my search for someone but now I'm just open if they waltz into my life. I have other interests and have come to terms with being a loner who even gets annoyed that I have to talk to friends sometimes, so it's whatever.

At least in my case I'm open to men and women. This either makes my chances better or my KHV status more sad depending on how you look at it.

Anonymous 50462

Im 28 and still a virgin. I had my chances over the years but always pushed them away because I always saw their flaws, that only into me because they're horny and would leave me eventually.

Anonymous 50463

Do you regret it? I'm kind of in the same boat honestly, but I do regret it.

Anonymous 50472

Once you graduate university and start working it becomes 100x more difficult to meet guys. I'm by far the youngest person in my workplace most of the other employees are in their 40s and 50s and person who is closest to me in terms of age is still a decade older than me and married.

Anonymous 50474

Is it just me or does it feel like even the younger guys tend to be married in an office setting? It's like everyone is single in college and then you get a job and everyone around you has a family.

Anonymous 50481


I'll be 22 this year and I'm a KHHV. My mom was already married at that age, meanwhile I haven't even been on a single date. I want to have sex and cuddle and kiss and whatnot but my face is just too ugly. I will go on a bit of a "femcel" rant here, so please feel free to not read this post if you find that annoyoing. But ugh. It sucks to be the only girl never asked out or noticed by guys. Like the only girl never asked to dance during a party. I'm always the tallest and the ugliest woman in the room, covering up my face with hair even as an adult. When I was a teen or going to college in person I was really bitter about it, but since the quarantine hit I've been feeling much calmer. Lately I have almost stopped thinking about this entirely. In a way I'm grateful, because as an ugly woman, I know the real needlessly cruel nature of men. So I'd rather not get involved with them anyway. Lol sorry if this sounds too dramatic.

Anonymous 50482

I would try to get yourself out there as much as possible while you're in a university setting because otherwise by the time you go off to work or to graduate school, all the worthy moids are in a serious relationship they started in their undergrad.

Anonymous 50488

I would guess that if a guy is young and actually has a well paying white collar job he probably takes life seriously and thinks long term so it makes sense that someone like that would get married younger.

Anonymous 50490

Why would I regret not throwing away my v-card to some retards that doesn't love but only want temporary fun and have not interest in a serious relationship? There are so many stories of farmers and miners regretting having sex with miserable scrotes.

Anonymous 50492

You lament not getting to date anyone, but simultaneously bemoan that all men are vicious and evil. I would hope you realize what situation you're placing yourself in mentally, and hopefully confront it with a therapist to resolve this defense mechanism. That is, only if you truly desire to be with someone.

Anonymous 50502

nta but both feelings can coexist.
You can lack the money for a house, while also acknowledging the local housing market is overpriced and the houses are all falling apart and full of mould anyway. What you'd really like is for the houses to be decent quality AND affordable…but this is not reality.

In general most people do kind of suck. And if you're poorly socialized it's hard to pick up their lies/initial fake impression.

Anonymous 50512


I'm not saying "all men are vicious". I was just really heavily bullied by men and that left me with feelings of disturst towards them. I don't think it's weird to desire idealized romantic relationship while acknowledging that reality is completely different.

Anonymous 50513

Men are especially cruel to ugly women. They only appear good to those who have not felt their hatred. It’s only natural to lament not having been born with a face deserving of kindness. You can want for something while knowing it’s impossible for you. It’s disingenuous to suggest therapy knowing the way that men are.

Anonymous 50521

I'm 22 and a virgin. I wasted my teenage years with a LTR with an eating disorder and bad acne, playing video games all day. My personality is a strange mix of extreme pride and low self-esteem and perfectionism. I currently consider teenage relationships to be sour grapes. Vast majority of men have irksome qualities. Insensitive and brutish. I got lucky and "found someone who loves me". Unfortunately my teenage hangups are still there so I could not see myself as lovable otherwise, but I couldn't risk losing them, so after months of self-loathing I finally found the courage and money to glow up, now with the weight and acne mostly gone I'd consider my hangups sufficiently rationalized away.

My advice to you is to work on yourself.

Anonymous 50537

my car broke

Anonymous 50572

What do you mean too late? You've messed around in the past, and the only reason he stopped was out of concern for you. He 100% has feelings but is giving you time to come to terms with yours. I'd tell you take a leap of faith, but it's so obvious he's into you it's more of a step down the stairs.

Go for it! How would you feel seeing him with another woman? Admitting he always has feelings for you? That isn't something you can risk anon

Anonymous 50614

don't lose hope! my khhv sister met her boyfriend at 24 going on 25. and he's a good boyfriend. just put yourself out there, work on yourself, and find a nice guy! and my friend met her boyfriend who loves her at 27 so it's never too late! he actually pursued her, not the other way around. both of these guys are extremely nerdy and introverted types so i think finding a shy guy is your best bet.

Anonymous 50628


Anonymous 50715

Don't fall for the experience meme. Every relationship begins with 0 experience. 0 understanding of the other person, 0 knowledge of their sexual preferences, 0 knowledge of every aspect of their lives. Coming from a place of ignorance actually makes you a better potential partner because you won't assume what the other person likes and dislikes, you'll find out as you go along. Just make sure you find someone willing to do the same.

Anonymous 52171

maik the liar.png


Anonymous 52197

>Men are especially cruel to ugly women.
This is extremely true. When you're ugly, men don't register you as female, but they don't respect you like they would a man. You're nothing, because you lack the one thing they value women for. You get all the misogyny, plus the stuff men will say around you because they don't care to perform niceness in front of you, they will let loose about how much they truly hate women, but it's okay, they can tell you because it's not like you're one of them. Sometimes, depending on the men you're surrounded by, they'll make a pass at you not because they're really into you but because they have settled for someone "attainable", but they'll always resent you for not meeting their standards, or for rejecting them when you should be desperate.

Anonymous 54253

Depends on what you want from life.
If you just want sex, there is no time limit. If you want a wealthy partner, earlier is better than later for your chances. Money bags like childlike females 🙄

Anonymous 54282

>tell bf that I was virgin and that he took my virginity
>actually lost it three years before to a man twice my age
>every time the topic of first times come up I want to die because my boyfriend believes a lie I told him
>I’m positive he would leave me if he knew I lied about something like this

Anonymous 54287

Virginity is a stupid concept anyway. If he puts that much meaning on it, he deserves to be deceived.

Anonymous 54288

Florida is hell. Everyone here is taken.

Anonymous 54290

You can be upset over having been lied to even though you don’t care about the actual thing that was lied about

Anonymous 54291

Everyone lies. It is just a fact. It is perfectly fine to lie to men anyways. Their feeble minds are incapable of handling reality. You do them a favor by deceiving them.

Anonymous 54293

>everyone lies
True, not everyone lies to their partner about petty things or without a good reason, though.
If someone just casually lies about various things, they probably aren't someone with a lot of moral integrity or someone you can rely on and trust not to cheat.

Anonymous 54314

dishonesty is bad anon

Anonymous 54328

20 khhv, never been shown interest from any guy, as a child/young teen I was overweight so it was understandable but since losing it now my body is full of stretch marks, loose skin and I have saggy breasts. I hold a lot of resentment towards my parents for essentially ruining my body, they’re both overweight and passed their eating habits onto me. I’m too embarrassed to ever be seen naked like this so I don’t see me losing it anytime soon. The only ‘relationship’ experience I have is from edaiting w men across the continent so I didn’t worry about them ever seeing or touching my body. I have a lot of FOMO from missing out on teenage love.

Anonymous 54329

Don't care about the topic

tbh people who say this sort of thing have a pretty poor grasp on reality themselves, and get caught up in and start to believe their own lies

Anonymous 54331

are you me

Anonymous 54395

I'm very sorry you feel this way. I had the same FOMO too, I'm 23 and was in a similar boat as you at your age. I made the mistake of falling for the first guy who showed me interest, then he had his way with me and I never saw him again. Now I only feel worse. I don't want to be that. I want to be loved, not merely wanted when the time is right. I want to be devoured, not chewed up and spat out again. I want to be the moon among the stars dancing with the Earth in a celestial ballet, not just some comet that catches your eye for a night. You are capable of being loved, you are deserving of true love. I would rather hold out for a decent man and die alone than settle for such lecherous swine again. I know we are all doomed to fall for this trap again and again.

I truly despise humanity for the evils it inflicts upon itself sometimes, but I know that's wrong. I blamed my parents when I was younger, but they know no better. They loved me, and everything they did was, they thought, in their best interest. They were just uneducated, and no one's perfect. Even that pig… I can accept he didn't want to hurt me, and if he did want to, well, it's because something hurt him. There is freedom in letting go, and only misery in dwelling on mistakes and regrets. I am learning to not focus on the past, since I can only change the future. I have been spending my time since educating myself on all the things I was too young to care about in high school. I feel like my dream of chasing the stereotypical teenage life lead me to miss out on other, equally beautiful things that I only wish I had discovered sooner, but I'm consoled by the fact that I'm discovering them now. We shouldn't fret about missing out on love, lots of people do, just look at the divirces and affairs that pop up all around us. If it is meant to be, it will happen naturally, and if not, well, you can't regret not doing the impossible. Just do your best and respect everyone. If you do that, I will be proud of you, and you will be proud of yourself too. Sorry for the blog post and my meandering thoughts, I wish everyone here the best of luck.

Anonymous 54407

when it hurts because its true : >

Anonymous 54460

>We shouldn't fret about missing out on love, lots of people do, just look at the divirces and affairs that pop up all around us. If it is meant to be, it will happen naturally
Based and very true. My FOMO has gradually dissipated as I've seen how unhappy and constrained many of the friends I have in a relationships are by my age (29), many of them doing it out of fear of the alternative or because they're too financially intertwined, or that they've never even considered they might be better off single. Being alone is preferable to that in my book. If something great comes along that's one thing, but just any old relationship can be a horrible life.

Anonymous 54491

human consciousness is a wasted gift developed by mistake, which gets constantly chewed in the cogs of physics and evolution. certain bits of consciousness cant help but mimic such cogs, probably not to get completely obliterated. you are one of such mimic cogs

Anonymous 54493


I feel really bored and lonely rn and I was thinking of downloading tinder again when I suddenly remembered that I literally only got 2 matches last time that didn't even talk to me so what's the point.

Anonymous 54638

I am a 24 year old female khhv. I've learned to just move on with my life. Basically, I was fat throughout high school and had virtually no real friends (I had acquaintances in classes where we would pair up for projects only). Teenage guys can be very cruel to teenage girls when they aren't conventionally attractive (they usually thought they deserved someone like Selena Gomez or Miley Cyrus in terms of looks). College I had a terrible experience with two roommates and moved to a single dorm. No bfs. After moving back home, I still had no bfs. Finished college at 23 and have been neeting for almost a year (thanks pandemic). I would feel pathetic going on a dating app with nothing going for me in life. Only been approached by one creep and it scared me. One guy offered to take my virginity but he was a clear player, so I refused.

Anonymous 54651

I am also a 24 year old khhv too anon. I had similar experiences as you. I was fat in elementary school so I had no friends. Come middle school and high school, puberty had ruined my cute features and turned me ugly. I got bullied by both boys and girls. The boys made fun of how ugly I was. The girls made fun of me for how I dressed. I tried desperately to fit in with makeup and fashion trends but no matter how hard I tried, no style will improve the looks of an ugly mannish looking girl. In college I coped with my loneliness through binge eating and got tricked into thinking my youthful metabolism would stave off the pounds. Metabolism is a myth because I soon turned obese. On top of that, I was stressed with school and got acne everywhere - all over my face, my arms, my chest and back. I was so depressed because I was lonely. And I was so stressed because of school and commuting. I commuted 3h a day to attend lectures, and by the time lecture was done, all I wanted to do was escape home and sleep. I made no friends. I joined no clubs. Dating in college was impossible. I couldn't bring boys home because I still lived with my parents and felt like a massive loser.
Now I am still living with my parents and feel like a massive loser. I don't think I'll ever find happiness until I move out. If given the choice to fuck a hot guy, I would refuse too. I would rather have someone fall in love with me for my personality instead of fucking for the sake of horny. Dating apps are a plague. The men on there only want a quick fuck whereas most women just want a nice relationship.

Anonymous 54666

I also had to commute to high school on a bus. It was hell. I got my driver's license and a car by the time I was 22 (and it is important to drive where I live to get around). I also can't bring a guy home because I have no privacy.

It took me years to find a proper hair care technique and skin care routine by myself to look somewhat presentable. I just regret so many wasted years.

Anonymous 94810

Anonymous 94812

Wow I wrote this and it’s so strange to see it again. I’m no longer a khhv and have found a guy who’s fallen in love with my personality. I no longer commute because I’ve graduated and found a remote job. I’ve shed my weight and am at an average size now due to my loving fiancé. I’ve moved out and live with him and actually eat proper home cooked meals because he wants me to continue to maintain a healthy body. Having a healthy body for the first time in my life makes me feel happier, and living a healthier lifestyle has definitely helped my pessimism and depression. I feel fulfilled and loved.
My skin cleared up. I dont wear makeup anymore so that may have something to do with it. I wear PJs and sweatpants most of the time because I no longer try to attract a partner as I already have one — plus they’re comfy and I woke from home. My hair isn’t that great as I chopped off my long covid locks and regret it.
I only feel unfulfilled in my career prospects but at least I can say my love life isn’t as depressing and nonexistent anymore.

Anonymous 94814

i'm a virgin even though i had some romantic relationships.
i haven't had penetrative sex yet because it hurts too much to put even a finger inside. never even tried tampax.
i don't know why i am this way, and i'm scared my current boyfriend looks down on me because of this and might eventually leave if i dont manage to have piv soon.
i recently got vaginal stretchers but for some reason i think ill never be able to have sex normally, and it makes me feel like a failure.

Anonymous 94827

I’m really happy for you! It’s crazy to think how much can change in a year. It sounds like a lot of time and yet it isn’t really at all. I’m happy you found someone who seems to really care for you. Reading stuff like this gives me hope that maybe one day I’ll be able to find someone who I love who loves me too.

Anonymous 94828

you're not a failure. have you looked into vaginismus and possible treatment options there? you're not a virgin or a failure just because you haven't had PIV sex. virginity is a pretty shitty outdated concept mostly designed to add another burden into our lives as women. you're complete with or without. but like i said, if it's something that bothers you then look up vaginismus and try some pelvic floor exercises and other things that are recommended. hope it gets better for you anon!

Anonymous 94888

Thanks anon he makes my sad days go from dark clouds to sunny skies very fast with just a squeeze of his hand on mine or a hug or a kiss on the cheek. It’s the best feeling in the world to find someone in your life who will love you unconditionally, who’ll be your pillar when you’re on hard times and, who’ll be your cheerleader, always believing in you.

Anonymous 94890

thank you nona, you're very sweet and wise. i'll look vaginismus up and try to fix this problem

Anonymous 94893


i've had a bf for 4 years now and we never sexed cuz im too scared to and maybe we will never ever sex at all

Anonymous 94904

What're you scared about?

Anonymous 94911

What the fresh fuck are those shingles? I guess your boyfriend is fine with it? That's pretty neat if true.

Anonymous 94912

I feel the same way. All my friends are in relationships and I cant even bring myself to be in one anymore because of trauma of being so badly mistreated even tho I crave one. I just want to feel loved, the loneliness is unbearable.

Anonymous 94915

sex is scary
yes he's fine with it which is surprising

Anonymous 94991

Honestly, I feel the same as you, OP. I straight up have never been touched by a man in any form ever, whether that be kisses, hugs, or more intimate things. I have never been asked out or been in a relationship, either. It's odd to see everyone here on CC talk about all of their romantic relationships as if it were very easy. So far, to men, I am invisible.

Though, compared to you, I feel rather torn. Part of me creates an ideal of fantasy of love in my mind, but in real life, the idea of this disgusts me to the core. Somehow, I feel afraid that having sex would permanently "defile" me. Actually, I would prefer to stay a virgin. On the logical side of things, I could only see the a relationship creating issues rather than solving them. I feel like it would add unneeded relationship drama and bullcrap to life. I'd be to concerned with finding the "right" guy only for him to turn out to be a total jerkwad. Although in fantasy, it all seems nice, the reality is nothing like it. Relationships seem to create unnecessary problems for people based on observation.

Also, does anyone wish that there were a female-oriented online space like CC but for virgins only (actual virgins, not people who have had any sort of sexual contact at all) and no normalfags allowed? I get bothered about constantly hearing about sex and peoples relationships on CC because I can not relate to it myself, and I am also disgusted by sex.

Anonymous 94993

I'm a 23 year old virgin but would rather die than have anyone see me naked.

Anonymous 95118

god sees you naked everyday

Anonymous 95124

based. wish i could find a man like that

Anonymous 95259

[originally written this to post in femcel thread but since it's locked I'm gonna post here]
There is one thing I hate admitting, incels and trads alike were correct when they said feminists were rejecting the family structure and dating culture as a cope. it is true for me, still is, I go around preaching feminist values but I only use it as protection because I know it won't be me, I never will have a rich provider husband or a man who would want to reproduce with me point-blank I have been in situations where men made fun of me saying it was for the better that I had these values because I would fail otherwise.
It wasn't always a conscious decision, it started as one but along the way I started believing in these independent woman who doesn't doll-up or try to appeal to men and doesn't want children because they're a waste of time and resources, but now that my peers are settling and I'm out of choice but to hang with much younger crowd because people my age are in a different stage of life now I'm becoming aware of why I did it.
Many women who followed this feminist route did end up marrying and having children and a traditional lifestyle, many slutty women managed to get rich handsome husbands, and I'm not talking about stories from the internet I'm talking about women I knew personally who were biggest feminists than I am and still in the end managed to move to the next level of life while I'm still here an angry virgin feminist who copes by trying to be career oriented and having dogs for children.
I work in STEM and I followed that path because I was such a feminist but also because I secretly hoped I'd get male attention but even in a room full of men I still am unappealing to them, in fact it only made me certain that men do not see me as a woman (nor a man) but merely a side character, I have harbored feelings for more than half of the men that I became familiar with and even lost some of them because I tried to make a move or tried to get our relationship to be more than just chatting about nerdy subjects.
I can't even socialize with women or understand them because I have spent the past six years of my life surrounded by nerdy STEM men.
I met a guy on a dating app last week and my profile said I wanted someone I can chill with but he took it as me wanting a friend so while texting he had a little vent about a girl he's seeing not wanting to make things official, I was so lost why would he match with me on a dating app just to be his vent buddy.
My femineity will always be invisible to men, I am getting older and my longing and loneliness is only getting worse, I want stability but I know I will never have it, I will never have children because unless I breed with a super chad I will only be passing the curse to a second generation.
I do not regret my choices in life of adopting feminist values and presenting as such or working in a male dominated STEM field because I know for a fact that this was the best outcome possible, I always knew, just got a little lost along the way.
I only do regret being born of such low status, born an ugly accident into a low income household with no extended family connection, did not have any human socialization aside from talking with my mother for the better part of my childhood and teenage years.
I do not know when will I ever feel happy and fulfilled, gonna turn 30 while still being a virgin that never been in a relationship and without any female friends.
I wish life was kinder to me for it puzzles me to know what could I have possibly done to deserve all of this.

Anonymous 95263

I think that this is your desire to have things in common with your peers, not an actual desire to be a wifey to some scrote. It's just that if the women around you are wifeys, and you have a strong need to conform (which is perfectly understandable and normal), you're gonna start wishing for that, too. However, this lifestyle would be incompatible with what you want, assuming that your reason for being a feminist is that you want to be treated with respect and be perceived as intelligent & capable. No one really respects the tradwife type of women, so you'd end up being quite miserable.

On the bright side, you don't necessarily need to have that life if you want a romantic partner. If you're friendly and confident in what you do - be it STEM or whatever else you have an interest in - you're almost guaranteed to attract men, they're not difficult to impress. Handle your relationships how you see them fit.

Anonymous 95373

STEM is an odd ball place. The males there are either in a relationship already or so absorbed in their jobs that they aren't even capable of committing themselves to a relationship.

Anonymous 95376

Try 26. I'm starting to get grey hair (thankfully my natural colour is fair) and the other little signs of age.

Put yourself out there and show a little interest. From what I see, (if you're straight) guys are pretty slow to pick up on signals.
You need to make it pretty obvious you're interested without going full psycho. Try meeting them in a place that would hold an hobby of yours that crosses over with male interests (e.g. library/bookstore for readers, etc).
Don't be too picky as you could lose out on some great guys, but be safe. Only meet them in public places for the initial 2-3 dates. If they set off a feeling of discomfort it's not worth it, trust your gut.

Anonymous 95384

The way I see it you are not missing out on much but maybe friendships (with men or women). I guess that you want to be and feel desired by men and that is very valid and there must be a way to fulfill those needs (maybe posting pics on some of those websites or something) without letting a man put a metaphorical leach on you. All of your ex feminist friends who are now married with children are probably cursing the day they said yes and surrendered their freedom.

Anonymous 95391

Hate to say it nona, but people are shallow.
Men are shallow, women are shallow, and first impressions count. You can take the monkey out of the jungle, but you can't take the jungle out of the monkey.

Try changing your appearance, act a little more feminine. Working out and taking care of yourself is important if you aren't doing so already. It's tough love for yourself, but you'll be happier for paying attention to your health and fitness as you get older.

Both men and women are (quite rightfully) asking what the other person is bringing to the table and if they'll make their life better. Unfortunately that comes with the side effect of them not willing to give chances.

Also, ask girls and guys you trust about this. Don't get mad at them if they say something you don't like (men can be HARSH!), and take the good advice on board. A bit of effort to discover what they want goes a long way.

If you want it, you can get it girl.

Anonymous 95930

I am 26 and a virgin, never been kissed etc. But I have been in a talking stage with guys though I ghost them after. I genuinely do not believe I am missing much.Even when people talk about finding their "soul mate", I just do not think a man will be my person. They tend to get on my nerves after a while, hence the ghosting. Maybe I am scared of commitment idk. This is the most ever thought about it lol.

Anonymous 96029

I've had (not very serious) relationships but I'm happy I've never had sex. I just don't want to. Cuddling or doing something nice together is so much better to me. I'm a virgin, no shame.

Anonymous 96031

I know a lot of people on this website speak against this, but get a discord moid.
That’s how I met my boyfriend who I finally lost my virginity to in my 20’s. And even better he was a virgin too so I didn’t have to risk the chance of dealing with a fuckboy narcissist. Discord is the easiest place to scout for men because usually the degenerates on discord are so brazen and sleazily open about their sexcapades so you can easily filter them out. And nicer virgin men are usually the ones who are nicer and easier to talk to on servers because they’re more to themselves. Try an art server or another general interest server like books or movies or something

Anonymous 96067

I don't want to have sex with anyone who uses Discord.

Anonymous 96069

careful anon i've been there on some "lesser of evils" moids on 4chan.

Anonymous 96077

a discord moid typed this

Anonymous 96081

Discord is a good place. The people against you just don't see that it's the best general social networking site for people like us.
What's the alternative? Looking for a moid on Instagram or dating apps which we know don't work for non-stacies. However it's always better to find men irl before resorting to Discord.
You join a specific hobby server and automatically have people (including men) that have similar interests to you.
Plus Discord is one of the few places on the internet left where you can chat first without having your face revealed, meaning it's 100% personality. If you and a moid hit it off with text, he will accept what you look like irl. It is a lot of trial and error with many roadblocks like he may be across the world.
Also you will have to filter through a lot of moids, but there is no risk. If he's a creep, just block and move on. Don't be an idiot and give your real name or something just as stupid.
Here's my strategy:
Start chatting, after a while give him a pic of your face (it will grow on him if he likes you), increase the flirting a bit.
Once you get to know eachother well then you can meet irl.

Anonymous 96093

Thank you for being the only one who understood where I was coming from, anon. The reason I said Discord was for the exact reasons you had mentioned. People in our generation need to be more forthcoming and honest when it comes to how they go about finding relationships. Loneliness has become a social epidemic in Gen Z and millenials because it truly has become a scarcity to find someone good. And not enough people are honest enough to relay the truth on how it was they went about finding their partners. Even normies are resorting to using Discord as a place to date now. That's why whenever you try to ask someone around our age how they found their longterm relationship, the common lie people will resort to saying is "mutual friends", when it's absolutely laughable. They'll say "mutual friends" yet their partner could be from some obscure scarcely populated country on the other side of the world where not many people emigrate from, how the hell could they have possibly met them besides Discord? It has become an acquired skill to learn to navigate online spaces where you can find a decent partner.
I'm someone who is neurodivergent (autistic and ADHD) so conventional dating apps just didn't do it for me. Plus I was a fastidious virgin woman (I ONLY wanted to date other virgin men), and I would specify this stipulation on my dating app bios, yet this would only garner sociopathic fuckboy narcissistics to swipe me so that they could detract me and make fun of me saying that I wasn't worth shit (when I knew for a fact that they were just saying this as cope).
When I met my first boyfriend on Discord, he may have been a blundering oaf sometimes but he was a lot more of a rarity than most of the garbage you see in men irl. It was just as easy as you said, I wasn't even looking for a boyfriend at the time yet I stumbled upon him and it was so easy. Although things didn't work out between us, and if I hadn't of fucked it up with my doomer mentally ill self, I genuinely believe that he would have been the man I could have actually married. My advice to the virgin girls on this thread is, find a man in a place where you will be cherished, not tolerated. Although Discord moids by far aren't perfect, at least they're not as programmed to have dark triad personality traits like these moids you find on Instagram and dating apps because Discord, like you said, relies on personality first.

Anonymous 96099

lain she is grilli…

Okay, but where do you find good servers? The ones shared on /soc/ are usually rotten degenerate trash, and the ones centered around reddit or instagram communities tend to be so massive and cliquey that it becomes impossible to get a normal conversation going.

Anonymous 96100

i tried finding friends on discord but honestly this doesnt work either im stuck

Anonymous 96102


Look in more niche servers, even servers owned by streamers or YouTubers. You'll be surprised who you'll find anon. Lol I met my moid on a furry server of all places, but that was incidentally because we both despised furries and were both there to send death threats to them

Anonymous 96103

lain bonjour.jpg

Now that is just fucking inspiring. Unironically.

Anonymous 96106

Does anyone here see some aspects of being a virgin as a positive?

Anonymous 96107

Virginity is a "no," a "not," a negation. By definition it lacks positive attributes.

Anonymous 96108

The question I mean to ask:
>is anyone content with being a virgin for the time being? I honestly have not ever felt compelled to lose it.

Anonymous 96109

Yes. I believe it's important to save myself for marriage. I want a virgin husband, so it would be hypocritical for me have premarital sex.

Anonymous 96123

after reading countless stories from women who regret who they lost their virginity to, feel pain that is described as "searing" each time they have sex with their boyfriend, or just keep having hookups with men that leave them disappointed and never get to fucking CUM, i honestly think im not really missing out on much lol. it seems like sex for the average straight woman is largely disappointing.

Anonymous 96127

my social anxiety extends to online spaces, whenever I do join some server I pretty much don't interact with anyone unless someone messages me first (never happens). Whenever I join some small place, where I'd feel comfortable to talk, its usually a dead server, and Im too anxious to start talking when noone does.
As if that wasn't enough I'm very introverted, pretty much everything I like to do are things that you can't really do with others.

I'm going to die alone aren't I?

Anonymous 96134

the only positive aspect i see is that if by some miracle I find a virgin bf that isn't a 4chan incel who just wants to get laid we can have our first time together

Anonymous 96170

no, i crave physical intimacy

Anonymous 96342

They probably see older virgins like that one tik tok that was circulating around.
The one where the old woman speaks to the unicorn and says:"And where were you twenty years ago? Ten years ago? Where were you when I was new? When I was one of those innocent young maidens you always come to? How dare you! How dare you come to me now, when I am this!"

Anonymous 96345

Since the topic of Discord boyfriends has come up I'd like to throw in my 2 cents.
I started dating my man on discord before it was common to do so (2015 ish). I met him off discord then linked up with him on it on a server of personal Internet friends. We were both virgins and still have stayed each other's one and only. I really enjoy our bond, people treat sex way too casually these days. Never feel bad about saving yourself, it's absolutely worth it.
Oh yeah, men are utterly clueless on how to have sex that's good for the woman too, porn has not helped, and I would imagine most women have trouble communicating their needs to men (while being listened to). You need to sit your man down to show them where to touch you, how to touch you, what positions feel good, etc. If you don't you'll basically never get to orgasm from sex.

Anonymous 96582

Agreed, you get treated like those incel poltard dorks that get shoved in lockers

Either be hot or strong

Anonymous 96609

>It’s only natural to lament not having been born with a face deserving of kindness.
You really do need therapy, though.

Anonymous 96633

>My goal isn't to lose my virginity, but find someone who loves me.

That is my goal as well.

>it feels as though EVERY woman has had some sort of romantic, or sexual experience

I've had sexual exeperiences, one of which came very close to me losing my virginity (I don't count it as having lost it though because there was no penetration involved) and with which I would have definitely been able to but I got the fuck out of there because it would have been with a very horrible person. I'm still volcel who will only lose it to someone who cares about me and who I'm already in a relationship with.

Anonymous 96636

>I don't count it as having lost it though because there was no penetration involved
There are some who would count oral sex and handjobs/fingering as losing virginity.

Anonymous 96653

Anyone else feel like a relationship let alone losing their virginity is something so far from their reality that they stopped thinking about it unless it’s brought up in a conversation?

When normies assume I will get a bf one day they might as well be talking about flying cars.

Anonymous 96655

Me too, I'm 21 and have not had any man interested in me whatsoever. It makes me kind of mad when people imply I will have a boyfriend in the future because it's so disconnected from my reality and I've expected it for so long without it happening, I don't believe it kek. My friends and family treat me like a child over it. I've just concluded that men must have too high of standards and don't even think about romance. I've tried and been humiliated way too much to keep up the self harm that is chasing men that obviously don't like me, otherwise they would have approached me.

Anonymous 96664

I wish I was 21 and not in my thirties. it's all over.

Anonymous 96672

Ayrt. I wish I was younger too, as sad as it sounds. Sometimes I like to think it's my personality, but I think it's my looks because the most mentally ill girls get bfs anyway kek. Going back in time probably wouldn't fix anything. I don't want to try dating apps, but that's my last hope. I'm too isolated from men my age. I recently lost a lot of weight, so I hold onto the cope that maybe now it'll be easier to find someone. But I'm so bitter and negative now, I don't know if I should bother because there are so many horror stories about apps. I just feel like I was meant to be alone and working against fate. Do you still try for romance, or have you given up hope entirely?

Anonymous 96687


Am in my thirties and knew it was over when I was 15. Am too immature to date without the risk of having some abuser pick up on that and take advantage of me.
While my classmates around me were getting their first bfs/gfs, I was still a kid who wanted to read books and play computer games.
At my age, a [single] guy who could look past my baggage and take things slow is an absolute unicorn who could easily find a normal woman.

Anonymous 96762

I know exactly the feeling. Recently my uni made us fill out some sort of diversity survey and one of the questions asked "What is your sexual orientation" and it made me realize how totally meaningless and foreign this shit is to me. For all intents and purposes I could be straight or lesbian or asexual or some sort of degenerate paraphilia and it would make absolutely no difference on my life, because I'll never have a relationship.

Anonymous 96810

THIS! How do you even find a good or couple of good discord servers. I only find very damaged and cringe people in most of them.
It is nice to chat about the things that I'm interested but it would be better to chat in a sane and less autistic way of these things in discord. Seems like everyone there is on the full spectrum, idk anymore, this kind of sucks tbh

Anonymous 96962

Whatever baggage you're talking about, I doubt that it's really that bad or sufficient to prevent you from being with a high value male. Emperor Justinian I married Theodora, a prostitute, because he saw her integrity, pride and dignity. Love yourself and hold your dignity no matter what indignities the world inflicts upon you. Even if you don't get a moid at the end, you'll already have won a greater prize: yourself.

Anonymous 96977

I have really low self esteem from getting bullied at school, home and work

I don’t know if I will ever be able to love myself enough to be in a relationship

Anonymous 96984

>Whatever baggage you're talking about, I doubt that it's really that bad or sufficient to prevent you from being with a high value male.

This is delusional by today standards. So just be comfortable with yourself because you genuinely see a benefit in that. Not because you want a male.

Anonymous 96993

Being comfortable with yourself and wanting a husband are not mutually exclusive.

Anonymous 96994

who is that man? he looks hot

Anonymous 96995


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