/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>53670
That can't be done, but I'd try to minimise the damage I caused by being honest with my partner about what happened, apologising for my behaviour and ending the relationship.

Depends, why did you do it?

>>53670
Honesty is the best policy.

>>53670
>love someone
>cheat on them
Can you even say you loved them in the first place?

>>53671
>>53673
No. I'll do anything.
>>53672
I got drunk and horny. I didn't mean to cheat but it just happened. It's not like I had real sex either.

>>53675
What would stop you from doing this again?

>>53675
>I'll do anything.
Except the right thing, evidently.

>>53675

You're gonna get a lot of admonition in this thread and rightly so. I originally cooked up a rather unpleasant plate of greentext upsetti spaghetti at you but after thinking on it I really only have a few things to say.

First: shame on you. Secondly, your relationship is over. It was over before you got drunk and had "not real sex" with someone else. Come to terms with this. Unless you are a legit psychopath you already know this is the end state now.

Finally, you said you weren't caught but you need to fess up. I can see from the posts from you here that you are desperately trying to claw back some kind of control over this and maybe make excuses like "not real sex" and "not meaning to cheat" (as if anybody ever really means to be unfaithful and it isn't a combination of factors). You owe it to your partner to be up front. The future of your relationship is now in their hands. They get to decide whether you deserve forgiveness or not. There isn't really much you can do in this situation beyond being honest and accepting your fate.

Shame on you. You don't know what love is.

>>53670
I would commit Sudoku or give them a set of stones to lapidate myself with.
No forgiveness shall be granted to betrayers of vows.

Honestly, after being cheated on I wish I never found out and the relationship was just ended instead. It ruined my self esteem and trust for others completely for so many years. I know everyone is saying you should fess up but I think you should just break up and not say a word about the cheating. I guess that would just be my preference if I ever got cheated on again. What you dont know can't hurt you. If you do tell them though expect your relationship to work out, it won't. They may try to make it work but it'll eat up at them eventually.

>>53670
By leaving them and giving them a chance to move on to someone who isn't a disloyal, selfish piece of shit.

When I got cheated on, I never forgave the person, but I had to find out on my own means (they would have never told me,) and it was going on for over a year. I am also not very forgiving in general. He apologized over and over again and I caught him in even more lies when he was apologizing (he didn't know I talked to the other woman), and then, he really fucked up his "chances". He died and we ended on really bad terms because I was never able to forgive him. I think I would have been a lot more kind/understanding if he was honest with me, and didn't bullshit me throughout the entire relationship. It has made me develop extreme trust issues because he lied so much. I now have a complex that there's always something going on underneath the scenes that I don't know about

>>53677
You know, the right thing isn't always the best thing. Admitting cheating would probably ruin lives for OP and her bf.

I'ts better to keep quiet and simply to do nothing.

Men are pigs. If they were in your shoes they would instantly take every chance they have to sleep around, so dont feel bad about it. In many ways they deserve it, if not for their past actions then their future ones.

>>53684
b8 or mentally ill

OP should just be honest with her bf. Plenty of people take a cheating s.o. back and if this ends the relationship, it was probably not meant to be. It'll fix your guilt either way.

>>53684
While I agree about men and cheating, you shouldn't use it to justify your actions Stacy.

>>53684
So all men are g-g-g-gay?!

>>53688
They are. Why do you think all of them have a pleasure spot in their buttholes?

>>53682
>He died
Hold up, he what now?

>>53692
Men are meant to be penetrated by another man's penis, not by a large female hand or by an artificial item (pegging). All men are inherently gay. Or bisexual.

Your only choice now is opening the relationship, so that the two of you drift apart even more and eventually break up completely like a star slowly being ripped to pieces by a black hole

Cheating only does harm if the person being cheated on knows.

>>53696
kill yourself

>>53670
I'd tell them, then end the relationship, acknowledging that I ruined it

>>53697
She's right. People cheat all the time and blow it off as one time mistakes, you would be surprised at how many do it.
>>53699
Hey, it' s life.

>>53696
Turning yourself into a whore inflicts demonstrable harm on everyone who cares about you, whether they're aware of the details or not.

>>53700
Get lost.

>>53702
Loosen up.

>>53703
I think you're loose enough for both.

>>53703
You're not bringing anyone down with you.

>>53670
learn your lesson, start again

>>53683
Whether or not she tells him, the right thing is to break up so he date a decent person.

tell him you wan't to have a threesome with a big titty goth hooker

>>53670
Theoretically,not that I am encouraging it, but suicide is the best way to truly atone for that tier of betrayal. Anything less is vapid and not genuine regret.

>>53709
edgy.

>>53670
The only way to atone is to break up with him, then give him a lot of money anonymously (you could periodically throw wadded up balls of cash through his window, but try to be more subtle if possible). Anything else would just be self-serving to appease yourself.

>>53670
imo any girl who cheats is a retard desu, which if its u, u r a retard desuuu. you crave sex. your bf may be attractive but your too deep in hookup culture. be honest and if he wants to break up dont be crawling back. but fyi since you cheated on him hes more likely to cheat on someone else and ruin their experience, and you have very little chance to have healthy relationships without this happening desu, let alone marriage