friendless feels Anonymous 7474
the title says it all.
i ended up scrolling through the account of someone a few years younger than me and saw posts like pic related…just people (kids i guess) having fun with their friends and it made me sad because i never got to have that ):
can anyone relate?
also, general friendless anon thread.
Im boring af but we can be frens if you feel like it
I've been friendless for years up until this year when I made a few friends in uni. I was badly betrayed recently and I ended up cutting out pretty much all of them. It's so hard to find a friend who has solidarity and truly cares for you.
I feel empowered in my choice to be alone at this point. Before uni I was desperate to have friends, I felt like such a pathetic loser, like something was wrong with me.
Right now I'm just trying to focus on myself, I'm trying not to drink and I'm dedicating time to my hobbies, like reading and drawing.
A theory that I have is that my friend problem has to do with my city, people here can be cold and sort of clique-y. When I've been elsewhere I've had an easier time connecting with people, sadly long distance friendships are difficult and aren't super common.
I've tried bumble bff, it's like tinder but for friends? And just girl friends, no creepy guys. It was a tad awkward and I never actually met up with anyone from there but just thought I'd mention it in case anyone wanted to try it out.
Yeah I know that feeling but I am doing better at accepting it than years ago. I can find a boyfriend to marry and if not that I can hang myself(not a cry for help, I will try for a lot longer before it ever came to that).
I think I made a friend at work, she wants to do stuff together, but I don't know if I can handle it and am actually pretty close to politely explaining to her I can't do it anymore. Because I'm 95% sure it's going to end in me being hurt and I'm in too fragile a place to handle that right now. I also feel like shit when she mentions doing things with her friends, it's probably the same feeling you got from that picrel. She seems to always be doing something with friends or family and she probably doesn't understand in what an isolated place I am because I've done such a good job at being chill and normal, but god damn her clingy words she gave me have messed with my head and I don't trust those words were real. I hate people with their stupid families and friends honestly, I envy it so much I hate reading about it.
I tried to have e friends. I made one who rejected every attempt I made for us to play something together for years and years, yet always mentioned the activities she was doing with some other internet friend of hers. I hate that the extent of our relationship was linking le epic funny pictures 99% of the time yet I was always hearing stories about this or that, constantly being reminded how my position on the friend totem pole was lower than all these other people. I wanted so badly to have the silly fun like in your image with her, but all I got to be was on the edge of her friendship zone and getting to stare at what she had(while being told by her how close we were, somehow). And basically knowing her and one other girl(who I made a thread about and was recommended to leave, but it's complicated), I would summarize my experiences with those two as a bunch of agony and I'm happier alone even if I don't have them to talk to anymore.
I do talk with a girl from another continent now for the last year, and we're beginning to trade short stories and have been talking a lot every sunday. Her and that girl from work are all I have, and neither of them are close to what a friendship is.
I've been so hurt and lonely for a long time, and it's mostly my fault. I want to be born over again with a clingy family and as a person who can maintain longterm friendships.
I'm an envious piece of shit. And if I do find people, I truly don't give much a shit about their problems and am a very self oriented person. All of my thoughts are about me and all of my thoughts about others are what they can do for me. True empathy is rare for me and I need visual stimuli for that, e-friends I struggle to care about and feel guilty for the little concern I've given them. I'm so pathetic and weird I scared a fantastic guy away on tinder by showing my lonely clingy excitement. I only have my appearance, no kind special talents or a personality to speak of, and even this very plain appearance is beginning to slip with age. Every time I read something or watch something or listen to something I fantasize about discussing it with someone, and how cool I would look to them. There's a permanent audience in my head that I always get to attention whore to so I don't have to irl.
I've been hurting over this today. I feel so incredibly awful right now. But that's life, what my piece of shit family didn't do to me I have done to myself, and that's why I've been this isolated the last 6 years.
recently ive been driving to anywhere where lots of people are like malls, restaurants, shopping centers, etc. it does hurt seeing groups of people my age walking around because i feel so hopelessly alone. even though i know im too scared to talk to anyone its beter than staying inside my room constantly, which got old after a while. :(
>>7517>Every time I read something or watch something or listen to something I fantasize about discussing it with someone, and how cool I would look to them. There's a permanent audience in my head that I always get to attention whore to so I don't have to irl.
I do it all the time, I'm so ashamed. People dream about being extremely successful or something yet my dreams are just to be able to share inside jokes with someone.
Honestly, I'd (at least try to) be an e friend to any anon here, i'd adopt your interests and i'd laugh at whatever you find funny and in case you want to i'd listen to you bitching about anything anytime. Please talk to me :)
this hits me hard, I feel the same… I'm such a histrionic loser sometimes and so selfish and attention seeking. I have a truly genuine friend I am basically sisters with right now and it's a beautiful thing, but it sucks that she's on the internet and not with me irl. If either of you wanna talk just hit me up on discord: Indigo#5724. I'm also on the discord server for this place. I'll never judge you <3 God bless…
lol I do this too when I'm listening to music, I imagine someone is listening to the music with me and I point out to them when the timing changes or theres a polyrhythm. And then I imagine talking to someone, and trying to decide which album or song was my favorite, pointing out pluses and minuses in my head. But irl I really don't like to talk about my interests, I feel to exposed
It's really annoying as a socially awkward person to keep adding a bunch of anons who have posted on other boards, and they can't even carry a conversation.
Like what is the point of posting looking for friends, but you can't even pretend to be interested in messaging a person?
It just makes you want to try and build those social skills outside. Right?
No, it pushes me further into the depths of deepweb culture, trawling for some glimmer of connection.Actually I will be visiting many friends soon, but I want to make friends locally… Which means I will attempt The Outside sometime soon.
That's not good.Good luck, anon.
I lost a bunch of friends recently because myself and another person in my friend group got into a big fight. I decided to cut myself off because the person I was arguing with was continuously trying to make me miserable and would call random people and tell them reasons why they should hate me (majority if not all of them told me what he was doing) and because of that I just decided it was best to go away and start over. Now I just have my boyfriend and extremely small circle that have their own groups of friends so I rarely talk to to them. I miss how it was before and want to meet people with similar interests and do fun things and enjoy each others company. But I will always feel like that person is out to get me to the point I had to deactivate some of my social media and block the person everywhere. It's been almost a year and a half since the drama started and sometimes I hear him still talking about me and seeking me out. I just want to have a good time..
If they're real friends, they'd stick around against some nobody's word. This guy obsessive, or something?
Yeah but regardless of what he says they still hang out with him and I don't want to have anymore attachment to him. And I guess he is obsessed. We argued because he thought I wanted to break up him and his girlfriend when I clearly didn't and everyone knows that. I just dropped them both and have no plan on talking to them again but I have to drop others in the process. It just gets lonely and I always feel paranoid he's going to threaten me again one day. Having new friends would distract me I think but I don't really talk to anyone
You just need to cut your losses, and make some real friends. I'm sure you could start hanging out with people you meet IRL.
My only friends are my boyfriends friends. I still feel friendless because of it.
I cut the contact of my highschool friends like a year ago and now i almost regret because i sometimes feel so lonely. I only have like 1 best friend and two guys who i know from college that i sometimes talk to. I want to thank the cc discord for making me feel less lonely for all the times i felt so alone.
>>10954>I want to thank the cc discord for making me feel less lonely for all the times i felt so alone.
ive been friendless since early teen years, i was a shut in but i didnt even have online friends, i was too paranoid to make a tumblr and interact with people online i mostly lurked social media feeling miserable at all the other 14-17 year olds finding weeb friends to have fun with and talking about shipping and anime and do cosplay.
i cant help but feel i missed out. i try not to think about it often or ill cry.
it hurts so much
Quit exposing yourself to all the social media stuff, sis. You're just pouring salt into your wounds.
It's possible to distract yourself enough that you don't have enough time for loneliness to bother you. Video games, reading, woodworking, anything that demands your full mental focus will do the trick. Do your best!Above said as someone who's never had friends either. You'll be fine~
Well, I had friends in mid school and high school but they weren't genuine friends - it always felt like a sort of contract for me.
In middle school, I had one friend that would (I assume) talk to me because I would let her copy my homework and help her on tests, but she would make fun of me for being weird, in very subtle ways. I only kept being friends with her because no one else would talk to me. I was quite an awful kid, but with age I learned how to "pass" as normal.
In high school it was ok (though I kept a polite distance and tried not to be on anyone's side), but only until 11th grade, when I had some rough thing going on in my life and I collapsed. Everyone turned against me.
Now, in college, it's harder to socialize so I don't try.
Anyway, I've noticed something: the bullying in childhood didn't affect me right on the spot (I had a happy childhood overall), but it stayed in my subconscious and showed the consequences later. Kinda like when you have an illness or a virus, but you don't find out until the terminal phase and it's too late to repair.
With teenagers/adults, on the other hand, it's almost the opposite. It's more in your face, more obnoxious but it also affects me less. It doesn't affect me at all now. I just don't give a fuck at this age.
I just realised how much I've written. Sorry for spamming the thread
That's not a long nor spammy post at all, anon-chan. Please relax~
>ywn go out to the movies with a group of people that care about you
>ywn have a fun sleep over, and tell secrets late into the night with your pals
>ywn explore a haunted house with a close gaggle of friends, tripping over shit and getting spooked at every odd sound as proof of the afterlife
>ywn have someone online you can shoot the breeze with & rabb.it things, or play vidya with
>ywn meet up with someone after a loong time of not speaking at some cute cafe while munching on yummy cakes
>you will always be alone and nobody will ever want to be with you, ever. people are always going to have their fun cliques and you will always be watching from the outside, hoping to know what they have
this is why i roleplay. to stomp out the sadness of being alone but barely anyone wants to write with me
i keep telling myself to practice art so i can draw out what i can't have but i never do
just wish i could go back to elementary or something when i at least had 3 people that cared about me. i miss holly and chloe
at least i miss them before they got all stacyfied.
…also elementary sucked outside of those two i always got bullied for no reason
That's just how life is for some of us and it's how life will remain. The only thing that can change is our attitude towards it.
Roleplaying keeps the loneliness at bay well, I've done so myself for a while.
Please keep trying to find a place where you can roleplay to your heart's desire. I sadly cannot recommend you anything, but I am sure they exist and will be open to you. I'm rooting for you.
I'm hated on just about every online community I try to settle in. Whether that be a random general on 4chan, or a forum site. People always target me.
One of the forum sites I like browsing in particular, I usually just reply to threads but one day I tried to make one – had a person I did not even know say something really rude then block me. It was crazy.
I have a "community",but it's all exhausting and pretentious.
There was one grille who I really liked and considered viewing as friend, but instead she started a "thing" with my husband. I'm still smiling through my teeth when we meet.
Then there is another couple nearby, I really like the girl but she is too much like meenjoys solitude even more. I guess we're aware of being soulmates,but life is to busy for those innocent messenger friendships.
There also is this retarded "friend". Why do I always end up with the mentally damaged ones? They're fun to be around but are mostly an obligation.
Also, a nice friend and buddy, but apparently she refuses to interact in laid-back or fun ways. She will respond to my considerations that are within her sphere of interest, but I must also maintain my having-shit-togetherness like with the "community". We will go drinking soon, maybe it'll change then. Maybe.
whenever i meet people who are like 'everyone hates me for no reason'
i have to really wonder if the people around them are actually the mean ones, or if they are.
i don't have many people that i would consider true friends, and 90% of the ones that I do are on the other side of the country now, but casual acquaintances tend to be friendly and polite because they are reciprocating my own behavior. if there's a subject that we strongly disagree about i tend to just shrug and let it go like, 'we can agree to disagree'.
there's only one girl in the past year or so that i've met who seems to dislike me, although she doesn't express it openly. I just get the feeling that she looks down on me because I didn't go into STEM like she and her friends did. tbh her life seems incredibly cushy but she always wants to low-key brag about how hard she works (and simultaneously, how much money she earns). it seems like she really wants to be admired by people, but the way she goes about trying to earn that admiration is more than a little off-putting and sometimes downright insulting.
I haven't ever had a group of friends. At this point, I'm used to it, and I'm more terrified of making friends at this point because of male fuck culture which I experienced a lot of when I first went to college.
I used to be able to hold a conversation with someone even though I was nervous. Now, if I meet someone, I act awkward as fuck. I have mixed feelings. I'm glad I'm offputting so people don't want to be friends with me, but I don't like the idea that I as a human being am offputting.
>>12166>At this point, I'm used to it, and I'm more terrified of making friends at this point because of male fuck culture
why don't you just get female friends
I wasn't super functional growing up because of a shit home life, now I'm working on it and doing better but being able to make real, close friends still feels impossible.
On top of that, it feels like people change the way they hang out once they leave school and it kinda bums me out. I really want a friendship where we just chill over at each others houses or other relaxed setting like the park or just around town, and maybe watch anime or just chat about random stuff. It seems like with adult friends hanging out is always an event, they want to go to loud bars and shows, which I enjoy sometimes, but I feel like it's impossible to actually bond and talk if that's all we do and honestly it's exhausting to go to those things every week.
I had a brief friendship in college where she really liked how I did her hair/make up/nails, so we'd have slumber parties where we'd do girly shit and sometime we'd just get completely decked out and lounge around the house dressed to the nines without actually going anywhere. It's embarrassing to admit but it made me really, really happy because I it was like I was making up for all the slumber parties I missed out on when I was younger.
ISO female friends that just want to do boring shit together, maybe let me bake for them while we play video games or do some crafts together or go to a bookstore or something.
Being in STEM and having STEM friends all I can say is that some of them literally have nothing else going on in their lives except their ability to do math. And because they've been told they're smart all their lives, they think they're excused for being terrible human beings.
Most of the vapid shit I've experienced in college was from those unwashed STEM cunts.
>>12224>And because they've been told they're smart all their lives, they think they're excused for being terrible human beings.
This. And at the same time they probably look down on people who've got a big ego because of other things, like e.g. being good looking.
>interesting thread topics, relatable posters, extremely slow but that's alright
>post around a bit
>see the "Discord" at the top and join, thinking conversation will be faster, I'll be able to make friends, etc, extremely excited
>mods don't acknowledge me for 12 hours, left in the lobby channel wondering if server is even active, go to bed
>when they acknowledge me this morning they tell me I must be "voice verified" even though that wasn't in their intro rules, which I read carefully at their behest
>say I don't have a mic and ask how else I can verify so I can participate and be part of the group
>they just kick me without hearing me out
Must be nice to have so many options for friends that you can pick and choose the ones with stuff you value and can just be indiscriminately rude to people who have less money than you.
Is there another crystal.cafe/females only discord where a timestamped pic (or video without sound) would be okay to verify with? I don't have any sound equipment, even my phone mic is broken.
Anonymous Moderator 12244
You kept calling us "rude" for asking for a voice check even though I told you every single person IN the discord has gone through it and the - important and necessary- reasons of why we do it. I told you you could leave and then come back in the future. I was nothing but polite with you the entire time.
Then you go to r9k to complain about it (and try to get a reaction out of them) and ask, and I'm quoting, "How can I fuck with these paranoid cunts? I just wanted friends but apparently I'm not bourgeoisie enough to be included in their circlejerk. I want to ruin their dumb discord but how? Easy enough to ruin a slow forum with a vpn but I want to invade their safe space. "
The only rude one here is you.
I have a tip.
Be born a woman and you will be able to join.
Mics can be like 2 dollars, don't try to play bullshit of "i don't own a mic waa everyone is so rude waaaa", male.
the first thing in the rules is the voice verification. it’s literally plastered everywhere where the discord link is shared. I really doubt you somehow conveniently missed all of it.
also>every generic laptop has a built in mic>every single phone has a mic>many generic earbuds/headsets have a mic>mic costs $2 anywhere>somehow miraculously has none of these when voice needs to be verified
I can smell the dick from here, smeg.
If you can call people on the phone you can talk to the mods, stop being stingy and buy a 99 cent mic on the bazar or some shit and stop bitching about it on here and /r9k/.
what country are you from?
i like the way this is typed
Actually now that I'm thinking about it, you don't have to be verified to chat in the server, do you? You just have to be verified to get into the…verified chat, lmao.
When I was a shut in and a loser I thought I'd be happy if I was popular and had friends, but not much has changed except that I'm now popular and have friends.
Yes, I'm asocial and actually trust a unknown audience more than people one and one.
Its for the best anyway, since people as a whole usually hate me and kick me out of the social circle, and I assume everyone hates me too even if one of them still talks to me on their accord
buh its weird. There's no way to fix it.
Just gotta find a new social circle and replace my ex friends
OMG I'm dumb I can't explain this coherently
Okay, basically I join a "group" of people
I get removed, I do overshare a lot and have no filter, so I assume this is why.
I'm asocial so this doesn't bother me too much.
Its really only a problem if one of them actually does like me as a friend and seeks me out on their own, since it causes drama inherently since everyone else is [presumably] telling them to leave me like they did too
Its self-defeating, and I'm low value anyway. Hopefully that makes more sense, I'm sorry if I sound dumb
Jeez I'm rambling
I feel like a horrible person TM for this but its logical, right? Can someone actually Confirm or not if I'm justified
late but i can definitely relate to your feelings.
>gen on 4ch i browse often made a discord
>it's already clique-ish
god damn it
i'm just doomed to be friendless
I spent 4 hours today alternating between staring at my screen, smoking, showering and crying today cause my friends aren't giving me the amount of attention I want from them and I get bored to death which progressively declines into depression and hopelessness. I just want a best friend to spend 24/7 with. I feel like my current friends don't care for me even remotely as much as I care for them and it feels awful. Everyone is growing up and branching out their social life while I'm sitting here neeting my life away and taking it slow with getting a job because jumping straight into a 40 hour workweek job made me want to kill myself immediately.
That's it for my rant
You are not alone in your isolation and loneliness. There are so many people like you and I who feel locked up, wasting away, yet scared to try anything different.
The attention you crave is only a band-aid for an eternal wound that will persist so long as you are unable to love yourself.
If you can learn to love yourself, to give yourself a tissue when you're in pain, or fistpump yourself in the mirror, you gain a best friend who knows you more than anyone else in the world.
I can't seem to make girl friends for the life of me. I know many men make friends with a goal in mind so I steer clear of them. But I try so hard to be nice to the girls in my class or at work or online, and they seem so hostile. I have made headway with a couple of girls online, but one dropped me over petty drama (I actually didn't care about the drama so I was dropped), one was actually shit talking me hard behind my back and trying to dox me, and now I'm getting iffy vibes on the last girl because she's showing to be very two-faced and extremely reactionary lately now that I've gotten closer with her. The girls I talk to IRL want nothing to do with me as far as friendships go. I have social anxiety but I think I handle it well, I'm at least not autistic when talking to people. I don't know what to do. Is part of having friends just pretending you're friends? I guess I just don't get it.
It is difficult to live with, especially the bizarre hostility I seem to get from random girls. I've been told by my counselor I am not autistic but I feel like something must be off with me since girls irl don't want to be my friend (the few that have call me ugly, or stupid, etc. so I dropped them ). Men are fine with being my friend but even that's tricky because a lot of the time they want to date you in the end.
I saw something similar from a
close friend who ghosted me. It sent me over the edge. Been clinically depressed for a long time now and i cry myself to sleep
You sound like you need some psychiatric advice. Please look into getting help from a professional for your own sake.
I mostly am okay being friendless nowadays, but it used to be a major issue for me. It's still not something I want for myself, and I still get down about it form time to time, but it's pretty mild and I can get over it quickly.
I made a few sorta friends this year though, one is very busy with their new job at the moment, which is fine, but it bothers me the last 3 times she talked to me (spread over the course of like 6 months) was to ask for favors and vent about their real life friends. Also, one of those favors was to do some work on a project they ended up flaking out on at the last minute, after I had already started my part, so that annoyed me. When they're around they're good though, so I think I'll stop doing favors for a bit and see if things can smooth out over time? I do reach out to her from time to time, so it's not just her initiating contact, but she's usually to busy/tired to talk.
The other one was a huge drag and I eventually ghosted them because they couldn't stop dumping their issues on me constantly (despite polite requests to stop and attempts to redirect the conversation to more neutral topics) and I didn't want to keep playing therapist for them. They even insulted me once when I made a comment about myself to try to make the conversation a little less one sided, I stopped initiating contact with them after that but they kept contacting me like nothing happened. It makes me wonder if maybe I should just give up trying and off myself. If I feel lonely but can't be happy with the few friends I make then I'm not sure how to continue. They also asked me to put in a recommendation for them at my job because they're unemployed, and even though I helped them with applying to other places I hated the idea of helping them get a job at my current company because I didn't want to have to deal with her complaining about every little thing in her life while I'm at work. I didn't tell her that directly, but I just said no with no explanation and they got really mad at me even though I was helping them with other opportunities.
The third is kinda confusing. They're very hot and cold, but I think they have their own stuff going on so I try not to take it personally, but at the same time it makes me anxious when they go crazy blowing up my phone and making plans then just disappear for a long while without any warning and post sad message on social media. It makes me panic and think that maybe I did something wrong, but then usually it comes out they were upset at someone else and the stress just made them drop contact with everyone. They're apologetic when they come back later on, but still…I'm not even in her main social group so I'm not associated with these people at all. If it was a one off situation, it would be less weird to me, but it's starting to look like a common pattern.
I know part of the problem is that I attract certain people, it's something I'm working on and I'm waaay better than I was before, (I used to attract really, really abusive people because of how I was raised), but I still feel like there's a huge gap in my knowledge of how to interact with normal people and that, at the rate I'm going, I'm not going to bridge that gap until I'm like 80 and everyone is dying/well beyond making new friends.
one of the reasons for me being friendless is just, i don't have much to offer. i'm not particularly smart or interesting or any of that.
it feels selfish for me to expect anyone to waste their time on me; and i feel bad for those that do? >>16105>I still feel like there's a huge gap in my knowledge of how to interact with normal people and that, at the rate I'm going, I'm not going to bridge that gap until I'm like 80 and everyone is dying/well beyond making new friends.
fuck i know this feel
it's like if i don't make friends by 25 i just have to accept being #foreveralone
the correct prepar…
I managed to make 1 (one) friend this year after having none for a long time. Still kind of tentative, or more like I'm ready for him to abandon me at any time, but it's fun, since we try to be real (and I apply lessons learned from bad interactions and faulty friendships). What sucks is that he's my only friend and is busy with school unlike my NEET ass, so I get lonely and begin to worry when he doesn't message for a few days. But if I've messaged once already, I don't pester and just wait. If I lost a friend for a reason that could've been avoided I would never forgive myself. >>7474
god OP I know the feel of that picture. Ever since I read instant message-style fanfiction
, I've known this feel. Usually a note by the author about their irl chat group too. Feels bad.>>10958>feeling miserable at all the other 14-17 year olds finding weeb friends to have fun with and talking about shipping and anime and do cosplay.>i cant help but feel i missed out. i try not to think about it often or ill cry.
fuck anon. Every year I go to a local convention because fuck I love it, but every time I see teens in group cosplay goofing off with each other, it hurts. It hurts deep. Once I even ran to the bathroom and cried.
This year, because of my new friend, maybe I am this  much more hopeful.
>>16949> by 25
Guess there's no hope for a spinster like myself.>>17219> I go to a local convention because fuck I love it, but every time I see teens in group cosplay goofing off with each other, it hurts. It hurts deep. Once I even ran to the bathroom and cried.
I relate to this so much my heart hurts.
>when you want friends but also constantly want to be alone
It's a paradoxical existence.
Maybe you're just introverted. Some people need alone time to recharge, it's not really that strange.
That being said, I also think it's about getting over the hump sometimes. Hanging out with friends can be a lot of fun but leaving your house isn't, you sort of have to push through it and it'll feel worth it once you meet up and start doing fun stuff. At least that is how it's been in my experience back when I hung out with friends.
Same. On top of that I hate online interactions, so it's not like I can just talk to them whenever I want and then go afk if I get tired of the discussion.
I feel the same way about online interactions. It's been better for me as far as meeting people with similar interests but worse for actually maintaining friendships.
Don't lose hope. As long as you keep trying, there is a chance that you'll succeed. Social competence is a skill that you practice and learn by doing. Not all friendships are life long either, but that does not mean that the temporary ones aren't worth having. It is impossible to tell in advance whether it will be temporary or life long.
All you can do is try.
Are online friendships worth it?
I've had a couple that have lasted over 5 years, so I'd say yes. But I've also met tons of people who stopped talking to me really fast or turned out to be shitty. You will only know if you try.
Yes! I had a few friends here and there growing up but most have outgrown me or have other things going on in their lives. I want to make friends just to talk to once in a while but I don't work or go to school so I'm on my own. I have a bf but that's it.
My comment about being a spinster was just at tongue in cheek poke at the other poster saying they might give up at 25. I haven't (completely) written other people off yet. I think "just keep trying" is an oversimplification though, and in certain cases it makes things worse. I am making an effort (and making progress) in resolving issues in my life that affect my ability to make friends, but it's not just a matter to trying harder or more at social things though, and honestly just throwing myself into the blender over and over makes things worse for me in the long run.
Got added to my first groupchat with irl people and it was pretty good for a few hours. Then I was told I was only added to be made fun of and everyone except two or three people just roasted me/told me to leave then everyone left it. Huh.
w t f
some people just don't realize how their actions reflect on other people. I'm sorry they treated you like that anon, nobody should be treated like that.
If they went through that whole effort just for you then I sense some feelings of insecurity/jealousy by those people
Please tell me you're a teenager.
yes these people are all a few years older than me tho>>17433
ah i doubt it>>17431
yeah one person tried to point out how most people there are suicidal and this is how people get suicidal
>>17438> these people are all a few years older than me tho
That makes them sound all the more pathetic. I'm sorry that happened to you anon, but they're not people you want to be friends with. If I had a friend who did that to someone else I'd be reconsidering my friendship with them.
i regret not being more outgoing as a tween/kid/whatever. should've reached out to every cool person i saw, created and wrote more things, just lived and been happy without stressing over what i did. because, maybe i would have more confidence and friends to fuck around with now
does that make sense? i regret my past so much
it doesn't seem possible for me to make cool friends in this modern age since everyone has their cool discord servers and shit, and i'm not expecting them to let me in or anything, but, damn. i'm miserable
I think it is enough to make one friend who is of that type of people who just can't be alone and talks to everyone. They are easy to become friends with and it will be easier to meet new people because they are constantly with someone.
I have one friend like that and at first I found him so annoying but now I am thankful.
I legit haven't had a single friend in years, I'm fine with this since I'm currently working on glowing up/graduating from university so people would be a nuisance. However I feel like I've done irreversible damage to myself by being alone 24/7 for the past 5+ years.
Yeah, that would make me fucking heated. Sorry you went through that anon hugs
This person manipulates and toys with peoples emotions, does anything for attention.
I know vaguely about this person thanks to all the infighting on /soc/ discord threads lol. They’re a troon by the way. What have they done?
>>17601>They’re a troon by the way
Why are they so obsessed with anime girls? Is it because they think that's what being a 3D woman is like? Is it because they like imagining their transition as easy as drawing a peepee in place of a vulva? Is it because they think they're like an anime girl? I just don't understand the obsession. They never seem to like 3D cis gals.
You guys are trying to push the anime = troons shit hard
Anyway, trannies probably post anime girls because they find them cute. 100 times better than 3d reaction jpgs and gifs.
Idk I'm with the other anon on this I'd much rather look at a cute drawing than a gif of Beyonce or something
Look at this dude.
Look at the top of his head.
Friendless feel of the day, I've recently made an effort to be more of a normie and I'm in a strong love/hate relationship with it.
It's nice to socialize but it feels wrong to not be alone 24/7 aftet so long. Plus, feels awful like all I get for my efforts is the social opinion of being a weirdo (as if I hadn't had one already).
Y'all think I should quit while I'm ahead or what?
I don't know. That's up to you. I question after lurking this thread so long why don't the posters in here try to become friends with each other? Is net based friendships so undesirable?
You should make weirdo friends.
I agree, but moeshit needs to be stopped.
Why though, what is the harm? Are you jealous of 2d pictures?
I left high school a couple years ago - I had just ended a really toxic friendship that had spanned over 6 years and it made me really jaded. It completely shattered my confidence & my trust in people. I was friendly with a few girls in work, but I held myself back from going further than workmates. I felt like there wasn't any point making the effort of meeting up and hanging out. Whereas at the same time I was jealous af of people with really close friends having fun. It stung cause I felt I had missed out on that.
In some ways I feel it's a social pressure to have a million friends and be the life of the party, when I'm perfectly happy a lot of the time being by myself. But then I felt like I was literally becoming socially inept. I constantly overthink anything I say to people and feel like I come across as a bumbling idiot a lot of the time. I can't really articulate my thoughts properly which lands me in a lot of cringe situations.
I decided recently than I'm not wanting to be this way anymore and made the effort to step out of my comfort zone and meet up with this girl that had left work. It's been going good, and I really like hanging out with her and it's a nice change to staying in my house or at work all the time. But I still get lingering thoughts a lot of the time that she's just hanging out with my out of pity , or that she actually hates me and I have a hard time dealing with it. When I start thinking like that I really distance myself from contacting anyone and retreat back into my isolated way of being. I really don't want that.
I just hate that one hideous person in my life basically drained my confidence to the point that I'm like this. It's been years and I still feel the repercussions of being that useless pathetic girl that let her "BFF" treat her like shit. I'm just so over it.
>>17643>or that she actually hates me
The majority of people will not willingly hangout with someone they hate, the remaining amount of people will only do it if
a)it's a financial or social benefit for them to play pretend
b)they're an abusive person looking for a toy and can smell your isolation and insecurity
Pity is hard to read and it's a more reasonable fear. But most people won't do this. You should just trust in her, it feels better to trust despite the risks rather than being alone.
>I just hate that one hideous person in my life basically drained my confidence to the point that I'm like this. It's been years and I still feel the repercussions of being that useless pathetic girl that let her "BFF" treat her like shit.
I don't know your exact situation with that girl but I can relate that one "friend" that really messed with me between 10 and 15 in such a special way that it made socialization overly difficult even into adulthood. She really left a mark but it has slowly gotten better.
Typically, talking to people drains me. I'm always so scared of boring people or being abandoned, so I often run away from any sort of relationship being made. There's only one person I've truly been able to talk to, the kind of talking where I can just say anything that pops into my mind. Sadly, that relationship has been finished for years now.
I have studied all my life in the same school before I went to university. It was a private school full of entitled people (I was poor compared to them). Basically the only friends I have are from those years - my childhood.
I got my Bachelor's and made maybe one close friend. Now, I am in another country for a Master's degree and absolutely can't make friends. Acquantainces, and good contacts, sure, but anything close to a friendship seems impossible.
I do not have any kind of social anxiety, and I handle myself very well in situations with talking and getting introduced. Actually, I love getting to know new people. I am good at impressing them.
But I have no clue on a later stage on how to actually becoming friends. Maybe I don't give enough attention, but I have been trying to message people, ask how they are doing etc and still it does not work.
I feel like a failure, and I feel alone. I go to Instagram and see all these people interacting with a lot of other people and I feel like I am missing out on being a normal person.
I just want a few girl friends that I can talk about life and go out to eat and shop sometimes, fuck.
Me too. I'm not smart enough to have gotten a masters (good on you!!), but I just don't know how to make friends. I just want to go for coffee or drinks with girlfriends and shoot the shit, but I'm incapable of making friends. Sorry that I can't give advice, but I can commiserate at least.
>>17735>that “Chads getting molested as children” thread
he’s probably the same creep who’s made a lot of the bait-tier threads on here. typical agp.
This user is multiple mental illnesses, I just joined a server from a specific board on 4chan and they were discussing changing the server to fit the subject of the board. It's like they jump from board to board advertising their discord when people realize how screwed in the head they are.
I ran into them too. I'm not convinced
they're a troon, just an unfortunate looking girl with a slew of mental illnesses. Batshit crazy, gets obsessed with people, persecution complex, compulsive liar, attention whore, the list goes on.
Avoid. Seriously. IDK if they're still posting under their trip because their threads pissed me off so much, every time I went on r9k there would be a handful threads they made plus another good handful they attentionwhored in. Everyone hated them while they begged for people to add them and it was just pathetic. Search for their trip in the archive if you're curious, or just their Discord handle, it's a spergfest of epic proportions every single time they post.
Sorry, I'll see myself out. The /b/ thread is linked above anyway.
It's easy to get locked into thinking you should remain in the perception you have of yourself instead of changing, if you want to. What I mean is people who seem to cling to the 'identity' of being an introvert. Either consciously or subconsciously. Rather than taking the steps to change their lives and make the friends they are craving. How do I know? Well, I'm introverted myself. I think it's just a natural thing. Like you think you're lying to yourself or to others when you be more outgoing and social and don't mind what people think of you and just have fun. When the truth is, that no one is 100% introvert, or 100% extrovert.
… or I'm an idiot and don't know what I'm talking about.
i'd be willing to make a discord or something for this to happen. since i'm assuming we're all anxious nuts, there'd be no real pressure >>17621
how are you normie-ing it up?
give me tips
>>17959I may be wrong and this may be a coincidence but were you also there for the Yotsuba thread on /a/ yesterday?
i did however save that picture from /a/ earlier today.
>>17964Really? That's still the affirmation I wanted that some other girls surf the hell hovel. And Yotsuba has a way of unifying people so I don't have to feel bad when /a/ peaked long before I started browsing.
A discord sounds fun, if it doesn't fall to raids/drama. In my heart I want to believe.
Different anon but I'd like to try a discord. I've never used discord before but I would be happy to step out of my comfort zone!!
Following up on the first friend I mentioned:
I wanted to see the project I already agreed to work on to completion, and it's made me feel like shit. To sum it all up, even when we need to talk about stuff for her project she's been flakey but still randomly pops up here and there to change her mind about stuff. The worst part is some mutual friends are helping with the same project and what I've learned from all of this is that she's closer with all of them and likes to talk to them more than me (even though she said she isn't even friends with one of them for some reason?). I tend to assume the worst about people but I've been trying to change that, so when she first started being flakey/only showing up to ask for favors I stopped myself from jumping to conclusions and accepted that she was probably just busy with all the new stuff in her life (and to be fair every now and then she did have a decent convo with me) but now it feels more clear that she's just into me for favors and I feel terrible about it.
This crap project ends with Christmas. I'm still going to wrap things up but I don't think I'll b e pursuing this friendship any further. On the bright side I'm seeing two old friends next week I haven't seen in ages. I'm excited, but they're not friends I'll being seeing/talking to very often for various reasons it's not something that helps with my day to day loneliness.
>>17967>that phrasingThis is what I mean..
I'd love to join a discord, as long as we have measures to keep things comfortable is what I wanted to say?
proposal: the discord isn't shilled anywhere but here, for the truly friendless anons.
could also consider voice or picture verification if it were going to be strictly grills only, but I don't know how many social anxiety-riddled anons would take that.
>>17979>the discord isn't shilled anywhere but here
that's the point of making it, fren. and of course it's going to be girls only; this is cc after all.
i feel like voice verification is the best way to go, since there's no other way to prove a person is female ( that isn't too obtrusive anyway ). it could be something easy, like 'tell us what you had for lunch today'.
….maybe we could share our citizen ids + a timestamp but block out everything but female? lmao i don't know
A voice check would keep out people who dont have a mic and/or are just shy or anxious about talking online, but works.
The ID one works, but I guess the thing to consider is that it's relatively easy for trans people to change IDs in some countries.
Though if they've changed ID, at least that confirms they're actually the 'real deal' rather than a genderspecial? So that's something I guess?
but also it's easy to borrow someone's ID card
Also true. I suppose a timestamp could alleviate that a little, but not in any kind of foolproof way.
Anonymous Moderator 18001
Please don't advertise Discord servers here, it's against the rules. Adding each other individually is okay. If you ever regret posting your info, please don't hesitate to message Admin on Discord (as proof that it's you) and we will remove it. The contact info is on the rules page.
We'll reopen the c.c Discord in January.
well if anyone wants to add me. cae#5157
>>18002why not participate more in the cc discord?
I feel like I'm not good at one on one interactions, what do people spend so much time talking about?
I'm the opposite. Though it can be awkward at first, I generally do better in one on one settings. In a group settings I always feel lost and like I'm slower than everyone else, even if I can find a rhythm for a bit I always loose it and fall behind.
I have no friends and moved to a small town so now there's even less of a chance of making friends I will get along with who aren't complete normies.
The only thing I have to look forward to is that a friend from my hometown promised to pick me up for a roadtrip back home to spend Christmas and New Year's together, but I'm really afraid he won't come through and I'll end up alone in my tiny shoebox apartment on Christmas crying my eyes out like almost every year. Please don't let me down, friend.