friendless feels Anonymous 7474
the title says it all.
i ended up scrolling through the account of someone a few years younger than me and saw posts like pic related…just people (kids i guess) having fun with their friends and it made me sad because i never got to have that ):
can anyone relate?
also, general friendless anon thread.
Im boring af but we can be frens if you feel like it
I've been friendless for years up until this year when I made a few friends in uni. I was badly betrayed recently and I ended up cutting out pretty much all of them. It's so hard to find a friend who has solidarity and truly cares for you.
I feel empowered in my choice to be alone at this point. Before uni I was desperate to have friends, I felt like such a pathetic loser, like something was wrong with me.
Right now I'm just trying to focus on myself, I'm trying not to drink and I'm dedicating time to my hobbies, like reading and drawing.
A theory that I have is that my friend problem has to do with my city, people here can be cold and sort of clique-y. When I've been elsewhere I've had an easier time connecting with people, sadly long distance friendships are difficult and aren't super common.
I've tried bumble bff, it's like tinder but for friends? And just girl friends, no creepy guys. It was a tad awkward and I never actually met up with anyone from there but just thought I'd mention it in case anyone wanted to try it out.
Yeah I know that feeling but I am doing better at accepting it than years ago. I can find a boyfriend to marry and if not that I can hang myself(not a cry for help, I will try for a lot longer before it ever came to that).
I think I made a friend at work, she wants to do stuff together, but I don't know if I can handle it and am actually pretty close to politely explaining to her I can't do it anymore. Because I'm 95% sure it's going to end in me being hurt and I'm in too fragile a place to handle that right now. I also feel like shit when she mentions doing things with her friends, it's probably the same feeling you got from that picrel. She seems to always be doing something with friends or family and she probably doesn't understand in what an isolated place I am because I've done such a good job at being chill and normal, but god damn her clingy words she gave me have messed with my head and I don't trust those words were real. I hate people with their stupid families and friends honestly, I envy it so much I hate reading about it.
I tried to have e friends. I made one who rejected every attempt I made for us to play something together for years and years, yet always mentioned the activities she was doing with some other internet friend of hers. I hate that the extent of our relationship was linking le epic funny pictures 99% of the time yet I was always hearing stories about this or that, constantly being reminded how my position on the friend totem pole was lower than all these other people. I wanted so badly to have the silly fun like in your image with her, but all I got to be was on the edge of her friendship zone and getting to stare at what she had(while being told by her how close we were, somehow). And basically knowing her and one other girl(who I made a thread about and was recommended to leave, but it's complicated), I would summarize my experiences with those two as a bunch of agony and I'm happier alone even if I don't have them to talk to anymore.
I do talk with a girl from another continent now for the last year, and we're beginning to trade short stories and have been talking a lot every sunday. Her and that girl from work are all I have, and neither of them are close to what a friendship is.
I've been so hurt and lonely for a long time, and it's mostly my fault. I want to be born over again with a clingy family and as a person who can maintain longterm friendships.
I'm an envious piece of shit. And if I do find people, I truly don't give much a shit about their problems and am a very self oriented person. All of my thoughts are about me and all of my thoughts about others are what they can do for me. True empathy is rare for me and I need visual stimuli for that, e-friends I struggle to care about and feel guilty for the little concern I've given them. I'm so pathetic and weird I scared a fantastic guy away on tinder by showing my lonely clingy excitement. I only have my appearance, no kind special talents or a personality to speak of, and even this very plain appearance is beginning to slip with age. Every time I read something or watch something or listen to something I fantasize about discussing it with someone, and how cool I would look to them. There's a permanent audience in my head that I always get to attention whore to so I don't have to irl.
I've been hurting over this today. I feel so incredibly awful right now. But that's life, what my piece of shit family didn't do to me I have done to myself, and that's why I've been this isolated the last 6 years.
recently ive been driving to anywhere where lots of people are like malls, restaurants, shopping centers, etc. it does hurt seeing groups of people my age walking around because i feel so hopelessly alone. even though i know im too scared to talk to anyone its beter than staying inside my room constantly, which got old after a while. :(
>>7517>Every time I read something or watch something or listen to something I fantasize about discussing it with someone, and how cool I would look to them. There's a permanent audience in my head that I always get to attention whore to so I don't have to irl.
I do it all the time, I'm so ashamed. People dream about being extremely successful or something yet my dreams are just to be able to share inside jokes with someone.
Honestly, I'd (at least try to) be an e friend to any anon here, i'd adopt your interests and i'd laugh at whatever you find funny and in case you want to i'd listen to you bitching about anything anytime. Please talk to me :)
this hits me hard, I feel the same… I'm such a histrionic loser sometimes and so selfish and attention seeking. I have a truly genuine friend I am basically sisters with right now and it's a beautiful thing, but it sucks that she's on the internet and not with me irl. If either of you wanna talk just hit me up on discord: Indigo#5724. I'm also on the discord server for this place. I'll never judge you <3 God bless…
lol I do this too when I'm listening to music, I imagine someone is listening to the music with me and I point out to them when the timing changes or theres a polyrhythm. And then I imagine talking to someone, and trying to decide which album or song was my favorite, pointing out pluses and minuses in my head. But irl I really don't like to talk about my interests, I feel to exposed
It's really annoying as a socially awkward person to keep adding a bunch of anons who have posted on other boards, and they can't even carry a conversation.
Like what is the point of posting looking for friends, but you can't even pretend to be interested in messaging a person?
It just makes you want to try and build those social skills outside. Right?
No, it pushes me further into the depths of deepweb culture, trawling for some glimmer of connection.Actually I will be visiting many friends soon, but I want to make friends locally… Which means I will attempt The Outside sometime soon.
That's not good.Good luck, anon.
I lost a bunch of friends recently because myself and another person in my friend group got into a big fight. I decided to cut myself off because the person I was arguing with was continuously trying to make me miserable and would call random people and tell them reasons why they should hate me (majority if not all of them told me what he was doing) and because of that I just decided it was best to go away and start over. Now I just have my boyfriend and extremely small circle that have their own groups of friends so I rarely talk to to them. I miss how it was before and want to meet people with similar interests and do fun things and enjoy each others company. But I will always feel like that person is out to get me to the point I had to deactivate some of my social media and block the person everywhere. It's been almost a year and a half since the drama started and sometimes I hear him still talking about me and seeking me out. I just want to have a good time..
If they're real friends, they'd stick around against some nobody's word. This guy obsessive, or something?
Yeah but regardless of what he says they still hang out with him and I don't want to have anymore attachment to him. And I guess he is obsessed. We argued because he thought I wanted to break up him and his girlfriend when I clearly didn't and everyone knows that. I just dropped them both and have no plan on talking to them again but I have to drop others in the process. It just gets lonely and I always feel paranoid he's going to threaten me again one day. Having new friends would distract me I think but I don't really talk to anyone
You just need to cut your losses, and make some real friends. I'm sure you could start hanging out with people you meet IRL.
My only friends are my boyfriends friends. I still feel friendless because of it.
I cut the contact of my highschool friends like a year ago and now i almost regret because i sometimes feel so lonely. I only have like 1 best friend and two guys who i know from college that i sometimes talk to. I want to thank the cc discord for making me feel less lonely for all the times i felt so alone.
>>10954>I want to thank the cc discord for making me feel less lonely for all the times i felt so alone.
ive been friendless since early teen years, i was a shut in but i didnt even have online friends, i was too paranoid to make a tumblr and interact with people online i mostly lurked social media feeling miserable at all the other 14-17 year olds finding weeb friends to have fun with and talking about shipping and anime and do cosplay.
i cant help but feel i missed out. i try not to think about it often or ill cry.
it hurts so much
Well, I had friends in mid school and high school but they weren't genuine friends - it always felt like a sort of contract for me.
In middle school, I had one friend that would (I assume) talk to me because I would let her copy my homework and help her on tests, but she would make fun of me for being weird, in very subtle ways. I only kept being friends with her because no one else would talk to me. I was quite an awful kid, but with age I learned how to "pass" as normal.
In high school it was ok (though I kept a polite distance and tried not to be on anyone's side), but only until 11th grade, when I had some rough thing going on in my life and I collapsed. Everyone turned against me.
Now, in college, it's harder to socialize so I don't try.
Anyway, I've noticed something: the bullying in childhood didn't affect me right on the spot (I had a happy childhood overall), but it stayed in my subconscious and showed the consequences later. Kinda like when you have an illness or a virus, but you don't find out until the terminal phase and it's too late to repair.
With teenagers/adults, on the other hand, it's almost the opposite. It's more in your face, more obnoxious but it also affects me less. It doesn't affect me at all now. I just don't give a fuck at this age.
I just realised how much I've written. Sorry for spamming the thread
>ywn go out to the movies with a group of people that care about you
>ywn have a fun sleep over, and tell secrets late into the night with your pals
>ywn explore a haunted house with a close gaggle of friends, tripping over shit and getting spooked at every odd sound as proof of the afterlife
>ywn have someone online you can shoot the breeze with & rabb.it things, or play vidya with
>ywn meet up with someone after a loong time of not speaking at some cute cafe while munching on yummy cakes
>you will always be alone and nobody will ever want to be with you, ever. people are always going to have their fun cliques and you will always be watching from the outside, hoping to know what they have
this is why i roleplay. to stomp out the sadness of being alone but barely anyone wants to write with me
i keep telling myself to practice art so i can draw out what i can't have but i never do
just wish i could go back to elementary or something when i at least had 3 people that cared about me. i miss holly and chloe
at least i miss them before they got all stacyfied.
…also elementary sucked outside of those two i always got bullied for no reason
I'm hated on just about every online community I try to settle in. Whether that be a random general on 4chan, or a forum site. People always target me.
One of the forum sites I like browsing in particular, I usually just reply to threads but one day I tried to make one – had a person I did not even know say something really rude then block me. It was crazy.
I have a "community",but it's all exhausting and pretentious.
There was one grille who I really liked and considered viewing as friend, but instead she started a "thing" with my husband. I'm still smiling through my teeth when we meet.
Then there is another couple nearby, I really like the girl but she is too much like meenjoys solitude even more. I guess we're aware of being soulmates,but life is to busy for those innocent messenger friendships.
There also is this retarded "friend". Why do I always end up with the mentally damaged ones? They're fun to be around but are mostly an obligation.
Also, a nice friend and buddy, but apparently she refuses to interact in laid-back or fun ways. She will respond to my considerations that are within her sphere of interest, but I must also maintain my having-shit-togetherness like with the "community". We will go drinking soon, maybe it'll change then. Maybe.
whenever i meet people who are like 'everyone hates me for no reason'
i have to really wonder if the people around them are actually the mean ones, or if they are.
i don't have many people that i would consider true friends, and 90% of the ones that I do are on the other side of the country now, but casual acquaintances tend to be friendly and polite because they are reciprocating my own behavior. if there's a subject that we strongly disagree about i tend to just shrug and let it go like, 'we can agree to disagree'.
there's only one girl in the past year or so that i've met who seems to dislike me, although she doesn't express it openly. I just get the feeling that she looks down on me because I didn't go into STEM like she and her friends did. tbh her life seems incredibly cushy but she always wants to low-key brag about how hard she works (and simultaneously, how much money she earns). it seems like she really wants to be admired by people, but the way she goes about trying to earn that admiration is more than a little off-putting and sometimes downright insulting.
I haven't ever had a group of friends. At this point, I'm used to it, and I'm more terrified of making friends at this point because of male fuck culture which I experienced a lot of when I first went to college.
I used to be able to hold a conversation with someone even though I was nervous. Now, if I meet someone, I act awkward as fuck. I have mixed feelings. I'm glad I'm offputting so people don't want to be friends with me, but I don't like the idea that I as a human being am offputting.
>>12166>At this point, I'm used to it, and I'm more terrified of making friends at this point because of male fuck culture
why don't you just get female friends
I wasn't super functional growing up because of a shit home life, now I'm working on it and doing better but being able to make real, close friends still feels impossible.
On top of that, it feels like people change the way they hang out once they leave school and it kinda bums me out. I really want a friendship where we just chill over at each others houses or other relaxed setting like the park or just around town, and maybe watch anime or just chat about random stuff. It seems like with adult friends hanging out is always an event, they want to go to loud bars and shows, which I enjoy sometimes, but I feel like it's impossible to actually bond and talk if that's all we do and honestly it's exhausting to go to those things every week.
I had a brief friendship in college where she really liked how I did her hair/make up/nails, so we'd have slumber parties where we'd do girly shit and sometime we'd just get completely decked out and lounge around the house dressed to the nines without actually going anywhere. It's embarrassing to admit but it made me really, really happy because I it was like I was making up for all the slumber parties I missed out on when I was younger.
ISO female friends that just want to do boring shit together, maybe let me bake for them while we play video games or do some crafts together or go to a bookstore or something.
Being in STEM and having STEM friends all I can say is that some of them literally have nothing else going on in their lives except their ability to do math. And because they've been told they're smart all their lives, they think they're excused for being terrible human beings.
Most of the vapid shit I've experienced in college was from those unwashed STEM cunts.
>>12224>And because they've been told they're smart all their lives, they think they're excused for being terrible human beings.
This. And at the same time they probably look down on people who've got a big ego because of other things, like e.g. being good looking.
>interesting thread topics, relatable posters, extremely slow but that's alright
>post around a bit
>see the "Discord" at the top and join, thinking conversation will be faster, I'll be able to make friends, etc, extremely excited
>mods don't acknowledge me for 12 hours, left in the lobby channel wondering if server is even active, go to bed
>when they acknowledge me this morning they tell me I must be "voice verified" even though that wasn't in their intro rules, which I read carefully at their behest
>say I don't have a mic and ask how else I can verify so I can participate and be part of the group
>they just kick me without hearing me out
Must be nice to have so many options for friends that you can pick and choose the ones with stuff you value and can just be indiscriminately rude to people who have less money than you.
Is there another crystal.cafe/females only discord where a timestamped pic (or video without sound) would be okay to verify with? I don't have any sound equipment, even my phone mic is broken.
Anonymous Moderator 12244
You kept calling us "rude" for asking for a voice check even though I told you every single person IN the discord has gone through it and the - important and necessary- reasons of why we do it. I told you you could leave and then come back in the future. I was nothing but polite with you the entire time.
Then you go to r9k to complain about it (and try to get a reaction out of them) and ask, and I'm quoting, "How can I fuck with these paranoid cunts? I just wanted friends but apparently I'm not bourgeoisie enough to be included in their circlejerk. I want to ruin their dumb discord but how? Easy enough to ruin a slow forum with a vpn but I want to invade their safe space. "
The only rude one here is you.
I have a tip.
Be born a woman and you will be able to join.
Mics can be like 2 dollars, don't try to play bullshit of "i don't own a mic waa everyone is so rude waaaa", male.
the first thing in the rules is the voice verification. it’s literally plastered everywhere where the discord link is shared. I really doubt you somehow conveniently missed all of it.
also>every generic laptop has a built in mic>every single phone has a mic>many generic earbuds/headsets have a mic>mic costs $2 anywhere>somehow miraculously has none of these when voice needs to be verified
I can smell the dick from here, smeg.
If you can call people on the phone you can talk to the mods, stop being stingy and buy a 99 cent mic on the bazar or some shit and stop bitching about it on here and /r9k/.
what country are you from?
i like the way this is typed
Actually now that I'm thinking about it, you don't have to be verified to chat in the server, do you? You just have to be verified to get into the…verified chat, lmao.
When I was a shut in and a loser I thought I'd be happy if I was popular and had friends, but not much has changed except that I'm now popular and have friends.
Yes, I'm asocial and actually trust a unknown audience more than people one and one.
Its for the best anyway, since people as a whole usually hate me and kick me out of the social circle, and I assume everyone hates me too even if one of them still talks to me on their accord
buh its weird. There's no way to fix it.
Just gotta find a new social circle and replace my ex friends
OMG I'm dumb I can't explain this coherently
Okay, basically I join a "group" of people
I get removed, I do overshare a lot and have no filter, so I assume this is why.
I'm asocial so this doesn't bother me too much.
Its really only a problem if one of them actually does like me as a friend and seeks me out on their own, since it causes drama inherently since everyone else is [presumably] telling them to leave me like they did too
Its self-defeating, and I'm low value anyway. Hopefully that makes more sense, I'm sorry if I sound dumb
Jeez I'm rambling
I feel like a horrible person TM for this but its logical, right? Can someone actually Confirm or not if I'm justified
late but i can definitely relate to your feelings.
>gen on 4ch i browse often made a discord
>it's already clique-ish
god damn it
i'm just doomed to be friendless
I spent 4 hours today alternating between staring at my screen, smoking, showering and crying today cause my friends aren't giving me the amount of attention I want from them and I get bored to death which progressively declines into depression and hopelessness. I just want a best friend to spend 24/7 with. I feel like my current friends don't care for me even remotely as much as I care for them and it feels awful. Everyone is growing up and branching out their social life while I'm sitting here neeting my life away and taking it slow with getting a job because jumping straight into a 40 hour workweek job made me want to kill myself immediately.
That's it for my rant
You are not alone in your isolation and loneliness. There are so many people like you and I who feel locked up, wasting away, yet scared to try anything different.
The attention you crave is only a band-aid for an eternal wound that will persist so long as you are unable to love yourself.
If you can learn to love yourself, to give yourself a tissue when you're in pain, or fistpump yourself in the mirror, you gain a best friend who knows you more than anyone else in the world.
I can't seem to make girl friends for the life of me. I know many men make friends with a goal in mind so I steer clear of them. But I try so hard to be nice to the girls in my class or at work or online, and they seem so hostile. I have made headway with a couple of girls online, but one dropped me over petty drama (I actually didn't care about the drama so I was dropped), one was actually shit talking me hard behind my back and trying to dox me, and now I'm getting iffy vibes on the last girl because she's showing to be very two-faced and extremely reactionary lately now that I've gotten closer with her. The girls I talk to IRL want nothing to do with me as far as friendships go. I have social anxiety but I think I handle it well, I'm at least not autistic when talking to people. I don't know what to do. Is part of having friends just pretending you're friends? I guess I just don't get it.
It is difficult to live with, especially the bizarre hostility I seem to get from random girls. I've been told by my counselor I am not autistic but I feel like something must be off with me since girls irl don't want to be my friend (the few that have call me ugly, or stupid, etc. so I dropped them ). Men are fine with being my friend but even that's tricky because a lot of the time they want to date you in the end.
I saw something similar from a
close friend who ghosted me. It sent me over the edge. Been clinically depressed for a long time now and i cry myself to sleep
You sound like you need some psychiatric advice. Please look into getting help from a professional for your own sake.
I mostly am okay being friendless nowadays, but it used to be a major issue for me. It's still not something I want for myself, and I still get down about it form time to time, but it's pretty mild and I can get over it quickly.
I made a few sorta friends this year though, one is very busy with their new job at the moment, which is fine, but it bothers me the last 3 times she talked to me (spread over the course of like 6 months) was to ask for favors and vent about their real life friends. Also, one of those favors was to do some work on a project they ended up flaking out on at the last minute, after I had already started my part, so that annoyed me. When they're around they're good though, so I think I'll stop doing favors for a bit and see if things can smooth out over time? I do reach out to her from time to time, so it's not just her initiating contact, but she's usually to busy/tired to talk.
The other one was a huge drag and I eventually ghosted them because they couldn't stop dumping their issues on me constantly (despite polite requests to stop and attempts to redirect the conversation to more neutral topics) and I didn't want to keep playing therapist for them. They even insulted me once when I made a comment about myself to try to make the conversation a little less one sided, I stopped initiating contact with them after that but they kept contacting me like nothing happened. It makes me wonder if maybe I should just give up trying and off myself. If I feel lonely but can't be happy with the few friends I make then I'm not sure how to continue. They also asked me to put in a recommendation for them at my job because they're unemployed, and even though I helped them with applying to other places I hated the idea of helping them get a job at my current company because I didn't want to have to deal with her complaining about every little thing in her life while I'm at work. I didn't tell her that directly, but I just said no with no explanation and they got really mad at me even though I was helping them with other opportunities.
The third is kinda confusing. They're very hot and cold, but I think they have their own stuff going on so I try not to take it personally, but at the same time it makes me anxious when they go crazy blowing up my phone and making plans then just disappear for a long while without any warning and post sad message on social media. It makes me panic and think that maybe I did something wrong, but then usually it comes out they were upset at someone else and the stress just made them drop contact with everyone. They're apologetic when they come back later on, but still…I'm not even in her main social group so I'm not associated with these people at all. If it was a one off situation, it would be less weird to me, but it's starting to look like a common pattern.
I know part of the problem is that I attract certain people, it's something I'm working on and I'm waaay better than I was before, (I used to attract really, really abusive people because of how I was raised), but I still feel like there's a huge gap in my knowledge of how to interact with normal people and that, at the rate I'm going, I'm not going to bridge that gap until I'm like 80 and everyone is dying/well beyond making new friends.
one of the reasons for me being friendless is just, i don't have much to offer. i'm not particularly smart or interesting or any of that.
it feels selfish for me to expect anyone to waste their time on me; and i feel bad for those that do? >>16105>I still feel like there's a huge gap in my knowledge of how to interact with normal people and that, at the rate I'm going, I'm not going to bridge that gap until I'm like 80 and everyone is dying/well beyond making new friends.
fuck i know this feel
it's like if i don't make friends by 25 i just have to accept being #foreveralone
the correct prepar…
I managed to make 1 (one) friend this year after having none for a long time. Still kind of tentative, or more like I'm ready for him to abandon me at any time, but it's fun, since we try to be real (and I apply lessons learned from bad interactions and faulty friendships). What sucks is that he's my only friend and is busy with school unlike my NEET ass, so I get lonely and begin to worry when he doesn't message for a few days. But if I've messaged once already, I don't pester and just wait. If I lost a friend for a reason that could've been avoided I would never forgive myself. >>7474
god OP I know the feel of that picture. Ever since I read instant message-style fanfiction
, I've known this feel. Usually a note by the author about their irl chat group too. Feels bad.>>10958>feeling miserable at all the other 14-17 year olds finding weeb friends to have fun with and talking about shipping and anime and do cosplay.>i cant help but feel i missed out. i try not to think about it often or ill cry.
fuck anon. Every year I go to a local convention because fuck I love it, but every time I see teens in group cosplay goofing off with each other, it hurts. It hurts deep. Once I even ran to the bathroom and cried.
This year, because of my new friend, maybe I am this  much more hopeful.
>>16949> by 25
Guess there's no hope for a spinster like myself.>>17219> I go to a local convention because fuck I love it, but every time I see teens in group cosplay goofing off with each other, it hurts. It hurts deep. Once I even ran to the bathroom and cried.
I relate to this so much my heart hurts.
>when you want friends but also constantly want to be alone
It's a paradoxical existence.
Maybe you're just introverted. Some people need alone time to recharge, it's not really that strange.
That being said, I also think it's about getting over the hump sometimes. Hanging out with friends can be a lot of fun but leaving your house isn't, you sort of have to push through it and it'll feel worth it once you meet up and start doing fun stuff. At least that is how it's been in my experience back when I hung out with friends.
Same. On top of that I hate online interactions, so it's not like I can just talk to them whenever I want and then go afk if I get tired of the discussion.
I feel the same way about online interactions. It's been better for me as far as meeting people with similar interests but worse for actually maintaining friendships.
Don't lose hope. As long as you keep trying, there is a chance that you'll succeed. Social competence is a skill that you practice and learn by doing. Not all friendships are life long either, but that does not mean that the temporary ones aren't worth having. It is impossible to tell in advance whether it will be temporary or life long.
All you can do is try.
Are online friendships worth it?
I've had a couple that have lasted over 5 years, so I'd say yes. But I've also met tons of people who stopped talking to me really fast or turned out to be shitty. You will only know if you try.
Yes! I had a few friends here and there growing up but most have outgrown me or have other things going on in their lives. I want to make friends just to talk to once in a while but I don't work or go to school so I'm on my own. I have a bf but that's it.
My comment about being a spinster was just at tongue in cheek poke at the other poster saying they might give up at 25. I haven't (completely) written other people off yet. I think "just keep trying" is an oversimplification though, and in certain cases it makes things worse. I am making an effort (and making progress) in resolving issues in my life that affect my ability to make friends, but it's not just a matter to trying harder or more at social things though, and honestly just throwing myself into the blender over and over makes things worse for me in the long run.
Got added to my first groupchat with irl people and it was pretty good for a few hours. Then I was told I was only added to be made fun of and everyone except two or three people just roasted me/told me to leave then everyone left it. Huh.
w t f
some people just don't realize how their actions reflect on other people. I'm sorry they treated you like that anon, nobody should be treated like that.
If they went through that whole effort just for you then I sense some feelings of insecurity/jealousy by those people
Please tell me you're a teenager.
yes these people are all a few years older than me tho>>17433
ah i doubt it>>17431
yeah one person tried to point out how most people there are suicidal and this is how people get suicidal
>>17438> these people are all a few years older than me tho
That makes them sound all the more pathetic. I'm sorry that happened to you anon, but they're not people you want to be friends with. If I had a friend who did that to someone else I'd be reconsidering my friendship with them.
i regret not being more outgoing as a tween/kid/whatever. should've reached out to every cool person i saw, created and wrote more things, just lived and been happy without stressing over what i did. because, maybe i would have more confidence and friends to fuck around with now
does that make sense? i regret my past so much
it doesn't seem possible for me to make cool friends in this modern age since everyone has their cool discord servers and shit, and i'm not expecting them to let me in or anything, but, damn. i'm miserable
I think it is enough to make one friend who is of that type of people who just can't be alone and talks to everyone. They are easy to become friends with and it will be easier to meet new people because they are constantly with someone.
I have one friend like that and at first I found him so annoying but now I am thankful.
I legit haven't had a single friend in years, I'm fine with this since I'm currently working on glowing up/graduating from university so people would be a nuisance. However I feel like I've done irreversible damage to myself by being alone 24/7 for the past 5+ years.
Yeah, that would make me fucking heated. Sorry you went through that anon hugs
This person manipulates and toys with peoples emotions, does anything for attention.
I know vaguely about this person thanks to all the infighting on /soc/ discord threads lol. They’re a troon by the way. What have they done?
>>17601>They’re a troon by the way
Why are they so obsessed with anime girls? Is it because they think that's what being a 3D woman is like? Is it because they like imagining their transition as easy as drawing a peepee in place of a vulva? Is it because they think they're like an anime girl? I just don't understand the obsession. They never seem to like 3D cis gals.
You guys are trying to push the anime = troons shit hard
Anyway, trannies probably post anime girls because they find them cute. 100 times better than 3d reaction jpgs and gifs.
Idk I'm with the other anon on this I'd much rather look at a cute drawing than a gif of Beyonce or something
Look at this dude.
Look at the top of his head.
Friendless feel of the day, I've recently made an effort to be more of a normie and I'm in a strong love/hate relationship with it.
It's nice to socialize but it feels wrong to not be alone 24/7 aftet so long. Plus, feels awful like all I get for my efforts is the social opinion of being a weirdo (as if I hadn't had one already).
Y'all think I should quit while I'm ahead or what?
I don't know. That's up to you. I question after lurking this thread so long why don't the posters in here try to become friends with each other? Is net based friendships so undesirable?
You should make weirdo friends.
I agree, but moeshit needs to be stopped.
Why though, what is the harm? Are you jealous of 2d pictures?
I left high school a couple years ago - I had just ended a really toxic friendship that had spanned over 6 years and it made me really jaded. It completely shattered my confidence & my trust in people. I was friendly with a few girls in work, but I held myself back from going further than workmates. I felt like there wasn't any point making the effort of meeting up and hanging out. Whereas at the same time I was jealous af of people with really close friends having fun. It stung cause I felt I had missed out on that.
In some ways I feel it's a social pressure to have a million friends and be the life of the party, when I'm perfectly happy a lot of the time being by myself. But then I felt like I was literally becoming socially inept. I constantly overthink anything I say to people and feel like I come across as a bumbling idiot a lot of the time. I can't really articulate my thoughts properly which lands me in a lot of cringe situations.
I decided recently than I'm not wanting to be this way anymore and made the effort to step out of my comfort zone and meet up with this girl that had left work. It's been going good, and I really like hanging out with her and it's a nice change to staying in my house or at work all the time. But I still get lingering thoughts a lot of the time that she's just hanging out with my out of pity , or that she actually hates me and I have a hard time dealing with it. When I start thinking like that I really distance myself from contacting anyone and retreat back into my isolated way of being. I really don't want that.
I just hate that one hideous person in my life basically drained my confidence to the point that I'm like this. It's been years and I still feel the repercussions of being that useless pathetic girl that let her "BFF" treat her like shit. I'm just so over it.
>>17643>or that she actually hates me
The majority of people will not willingly hangout with someone they hate, the remaining amount of people will only do it if
a)it's a financial or social benefit for them to play pretend
b)they're an abusive person looking for a toy and can smell your isolation and insecurity
Pity is hard to read and it's a more reasonable fear. But most people won't do this. You should just trust in her, it feels better to trust despite the risks rather than being alone.
>I just hate that one hideous person in my life basically drained my confidence to the point that I'm like this. It's been years and I still feel the repercussions of being that useless pathetic girl that let her "BFF" treat her like shit.
I don't know your exact situation with that girl but I can relate that one "friend" that really messed with me between 10 and 15 in such a special way that it made socialization overly difficult even into adulthood. She really left a mark but it has slowly gotten better.
Typically, talking to people drains me. I'm always so scared of boring people or being abandoned, so I often run away from any sort of relationship being made. There's only one person I've truly been able to talk to, the kind of talking where I can just say anything that pops into my mind. Sadly, that relationship has been finished for years now.
I have studied all my life in the same school before I went to university. It was a private school full of entitled people (I was poor compared to them). Basically the only friends I have are from those years - my childhood.
I got my Bachelor's and made maybe one close friend. Now, I am in another country for a Master's degree and absolutely can't make friends. Acquantainces, and good contacts, sure, but anything close to a friendship seems impossible.
I do not have any kind of social anxiety, and I handle myself very well in situations with talking and getting introduced. Actually, I love getting to know new people. I am good at impressing them.
But I have no clue on a later stage on how to actually becoming friends. Maybe I don't give enough attention, but I have been trying to message people, ask how they are doing etc and still it does not work.
I feel like a failure, and I feel alone. I go to Instagram and see all these people interacting with a lot of other people and I feel like I am missing out on being a normal person.
I just want a few girl friends that I can talk about life and go out to eat and shop sometimes, fuck.
Me too. I'm not smart enough to have gotten a masters (good on you!!), but I just don't know how to make friends. I just want to go for coffee or drinks with girlfriends and shoot the shit, but I'm incapable of making friends. Sorry that I can't give advice, but I can commiserate at least.
>>17735>that “Chads getting molested as children” thread
he’s probably the same creep who’s made a lot of the bait-tier threads on here. typical agp.
This user is multiple mental illnesses, I just joined a server from a specific board on 4chan and they were discussing changing the server to fit the subject of the board. It's like they jump from board to board advertising their discord when people realize how screwed in the head they are.
I ran into them too. I'm not convinced
they're a troon, just an unfortunate looking girl with a slew of mental illnesses. Batshit crazy, gets obsessed with people, persecution complex, compulsive liar, attention whore, the list goes on.
Avoid. Seriously. IDK if they're still posting under their trip because their threads pissed me off so much, every time I went on r9k there would be a handful threads they made plus another good handful they attentionwhored in. Everyone hated them while they begged for people to add them and it was just pathetic. Search for their trip in the archive if you're curious, or just their Discord handle, it's a spergfest of epic proportions every single time they post.
Sorry, I'll see myself out. The /b/ thread is linked above anyway.
i'd be willing to make a discord or something for this to happen. since i'm assuming we're all anxious nuts, there'd be no real pressure >>17621
how are you normie-ing it up?
give me tips
>>17959I may be wrong and this may be a coincidence but were you also there for the Yotsuba thread on /a/ yesterday?
i did however save that picture from /a/ earlier today.
>>17964Really? That's still the affirmation I wanted that some other girls surf the hell hovel. And Yotsuba has a way of unifying people so I don't have to feel bad when /a/ peaked long before I started browsing.
A discord sounds fun, if it doesn't fall to raids/drama. In my heart I want to believe.
Different anon but I'd like to try a discord. I've never used discord before but I would be happy to step out of my comfort zone!!
Following up on the first friend I mentioned:
I wanted to see the project I already agreed to work on to completion, and it's made me feel like shit. To sum it all up, even when we need to talk about stuff for her project she's been flakey but still randomly pops up here and there to change her mind about stuff. The worst part is some mutual friends are helping with the same project and what I've learned from all of this is that she's closer with all of them and likes to talk to them more than me (even though she said she isn't even friends with one of them for some reason?). I tend to assume the worst about people but I've been trying to change that, so when she first started being flakey/only showing up to ask for favors I stopped myself from jumping to conclusions and accepted that she was probably just busy with all the new stuff in her life (and to be fair every now and then she did have a decent convo with me) but now it feels more clear that she's just into me for favors and I feel terrible about it.
This crap project ends with Christmas. I'm still going to wrap things up but I don't think I'll b e pursuing this friendship any further. On the bright side I'm seeing two old friends next week I haven't seen in ages. I'm excited, but they're not friends I'll being seeing/talking to very often for various reasons it's not something that helps with my day to day loneliness.
>>17967>that phrasingThis is what I mean..
I'd love to join a discord, as long as we have measures to keep things comfortable is what I wanted to say?
proposal: the discord isn't shilled anywhere but here, for the truly friendless anons.
could also consider voice or picture verification if it were going to be strictly grills only, but I don't know how many social anxiety-riddled anons would take that.
>>17979>the discord isn't shilled anywhere but here
that's the point of making it, fren. and of course it's going to be girls only; this is cc after all.
i feel like voice verification is the best way to go, since there's no other way to prove a person is female ( that isn't too obtrusive anyway ). it could be something easy, like 'tell us what you had for lunch today'.
….maybe we could share our citizen ids + a timestamp but block out everything but female? lmao i don't know
A voice check would keep out people who dont have a mic and/or are just shy or anxious about talking online, but works.
The ID one works, but I guess the thing to consider is that it's relatively easy for trans people to change IDs in some countries.
Though if they've changed ID, at least that confirms they're actually the 'real deal' rather than a genderspecial? So that's something I guess?
but also it's easy to borrow someone's ID card
Also true. I suppose a timestamp could alleviate that a little, but not in any kind of foolproof way.
Anonymous Moderator 18001
Please don't advertise Discord servers here, it's against the rules. Adding each other individually is okay. If you ever regret posting your info, please don't hesitate to message Admin on Discord (as proof that it's you) and we will remove it. The contact info is on the rules page.
We'll reopen the c.c Discord in January.
well if anyone wants to add me. cae#5157
>>18002why not participate more in the cc discord?
I feel like I'm not good at one on one interactions, what do people spend so much time talking about?
I'm the opposite. Though it can be awkward at first, I generally do better in one on one settings. In a group settings I always feel lost and like I'm slower than everyone else, even if I can find a rhythm for a bit I always loose it and fall behind.
I have no friends and moved to a small town so now there's even less of a chance of making friends I will get along with who aren't complete normies.
The only thing I have to look forward to is that a friend from my hometown promised to pick me up for a roadtrip back home to spend Christmas and New Year's together, but I'm really afraid he won't come through and I'll end up alone in my tiny shoebox apartment on Christmas crying my eyes out like almost every year. Please don't let me down, friend.
is it today or have you just not been able to make nice plans yet? either way, you can still treat yourself to a nice experience. i'm sorry you're alone, i spend most of my bdays on my own too. if it's today, happy birthday to yooou! It's bad luck where I live to wish someone a happy birthday before the actual day so I spoilered it like an idiot
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANON! May you have an awesome one!
I'm growing more and more sure this is just how life is and special happy birthdays after like age 12 are just a myth seen on TV. Friends are also a myth from sitcoms.
Anyone with a life experience that contradicts this please do not reply.
Happy birthday though just try to at least have something nice to eat.
>>18093>Anyone with a life experience that contradicts this please do not reply.
Every year on my birthday, I get McDonalds and go to the arcade with my parents. It is extremely nice. Friends aren't necessary, you just need to figure what it is you want.
My parent says "happy birthday" in the morning and then rest goes on like a regular day with no special treatment given. Which is okay and nothing to get down about but I can't expect anything from anyone until I find a good boyfriend, I want someone who takes me out for Italian dinner .
Above birthday anon should make sure her expectations are realistic and low and try to make it happy with the possible options.
Thank you for the kind words, CC friends. It was today so no bad luck was imparted, Anon, dw.
I only celebrated my 21st because my parents and "friends" pressured me and I didn't enjoy it. The last time I enjoyed a birthday, I was probably 11 years old.
I have friends but they don't feel like friends, they're just people who I went to highschool with that share vague common interests. It feels uncomfortable to hang out with them. It makes me sad seeing stories of best friends knowing I'll never get that. I always wanted a best friend to start a band with. I'm too old for that now I think.
Had a hard time relating to others in elementary school. I would shed the "friends" of the previous year and make new ones the next year. I played with the boys a lot, due to my tough upbringing on a ranch-type situation. It just seemed like other girls were alien to me.
Even to this day, pretty much don't own any piece of clothing that couldn't be worn on a last minute adventure. I just can't seem to find any girls that I can joke with or adventure with or study with. IDK…am I just on an impossible quest?
It's late, but happy Birthday anon, hopefully you had a unexpectedly wonderful day!>>18127
Just how old, or where are you now? I was a transitory military brat growing up, so I have an okay idea how it feels to move constantly growing up abroad. Worming into new social groups never feels good, so don't feel bad if you're just hanging on the edge of a group that tolerates you at the start
>>18124> I always wanted a best friend to start a band with.
It's not to late, there are some other music anons that have posted cc!
I'm 27, now, and in le central Texas. It would be super if I could get some advice or direction. I'm just kinda lost.
>get into contact with 3 new people
>manage to drive them all away because I am terrible at socializing
>tried really hard to ask lots of questions but it still didn't work out
>i have nothing to offer anyone
>join a discord server
>keep getting blown off and can't seem to make conversation worth a shit
>tried everything, asking questions or joining conversation or saying neat things about myself
>comfort myself and call it a circlejerk where established members and mods asskiss each other
>in truth I want to be part if the circlejerk
I'm so fucked up and why isn't there assisted suicide for mentally ill personality disorder ugly people.
I can self improve in every manner but never fix my social ineptitude. Every time I try I am hurt more than the loneliness hurts. I'll never feel okay being alone, I am an extrovert that turned into an introvert after abandonment bullying and exclusion. I give up. I'm fucked in the head and sleep hygiene, exercise, proper diet and trying to be mindful/stoic don't do anything for it. I'm an ugly fuckup
Honestly you just need to find someone who thinks those neat things about you are actually neat. I don't think any of us are terrible at socializing, I think that we just have a hard time finding people that suit our specific interests and beliefs, and we aren't willing to change ourselves to "fit in" to some group.
Please don't give up. It's very hard to regain faith once you do. Stop surrounding yourself in places where everyone tells you "[demographic] are all [bad thing]" because it's not true, but you eventually begin to believe it. I hope we all find a little group in which we can truly feel comfortable. With that said, I do enjoy isolating myself sometimes, spending a Saturday baking, reading, playing / listening to music, gaming, being by myself just enjoying my own company, I cut out as much interaction with other humans as possible(including online interaction). It helps me figure out who I am so that I know what to look for. Also I feel like I've spent my time doing something useful rather than wasting it trying to find actual friends (and failing).
I woke up feeling less crazy. I'm sure why it hurts so much in the moment.
People think I'm so chill, laid back and well adjusted. But a really fragile aspect exists in regards to talking to other people, I keep my breakdowns confined to anonymous venting or my bed.
I'm going to go back to "fuck having friends I want audis" mode and manage my expectations realistically again.
>get into a position where i can have friends
>find that keeping up with them is exhausting
>friendships dwindle out to nothing
I don't get why people want friends and acceptance that badly, or feel like being alone and doing stuff by yourself most/all the time is bad. Friends require way too much upkeep for way too little reward 9/10, socializing is tiring and most people kinda suck anyway (me included)
>know from previous painful experiences that i can't be social but still get sad when i'm left out
i hate this.
but, i DON'T want to spend 2019 ruminating over my autism so after i watch some anime i'll clean & draw & prep for my classes tomorrow.
there's more to life then friends after all.
& no, this doesn't make me feel any less terrible! but eventually it will, i hope.
shinji folding cha…
friend has disappeared.
At this rate I'm going to go with my original plan: interact with society enough to get a degree and good tech job, live scarce and save up, then become hikki for good. Maybe move every few years to change it up.
The pain of (lacking) relations is not worth it. I've failed you, Anno.
Let me into your discord server right now!!!!!!!!!
in 2019, we'll all get friends
don't give up hope ff
turns out a girl is in 4 of my 5 classes (and she's only taking 4 classes, so I'm in all of hers). We're the same major and it's a niche major so I'm fucking over the moon. I've never had a female friend like this where we go to a school together. It's weird because we both go to a huge college, too. Anyway. I hope we are able to be friends, or at least close classmates. It feels good talking to a girl. She seems super sweet but also able to carry on a conversation about more in-depth topics, so I am very excited. Better not nix this, dummy. Idk that she seems normie, when you're at my stage, you just can't care about that divide.
Friend of almost twenty years who I broke contact with three years ago contacted my brother and asked him to give him my number because he wanted to say hi. I just walked away when he told me about it and I'm now anxious about finding him on the street, we live in the same town.
I just want it to end, everything.
I was being crushed by anxiety and depression at the time, I'm a bit better now. He'd been clinging onto me for years, since I've always had this issue. I guess I felt it was time to just give up on relationships. I really need to get back on my medication.
I'm boring, too. Whenever I meet anyone, it's usually online since I don't go out much. And those people pretend to be interested in being friends for a week until they learn how boring I am. Then they disappear.
I keep fantasizing about having a Sex and The City type of friend group. It's unrealistic and dumb but sounds so nice. I've never had more than 1 friend at a time. A close knit group to support each other honestly seems like heaven.
As great as it would be to get 1 female friend, I'd feel pathetic that she'd be my only source of socialization. Don't want to be a burden, or for them to feel like ''I haven't called anon in 2 weeks which means they've been alone all that time, guess I have to meet up with them soon''
I dream of a local friend group too, but all I have is a discord server with a few friends who are drifting apart.
i never realized how much anime dulls the sense of loneliness. watching yuru camp right now & i'm honestly able to forget about hard i wanted friends, even if the show is making me want to take a group of people & go camping over a weekend.
but that feel is so distant…i feel like i'm playing with fire but it's nice to not worry
>lonely and isolated
>been lurking in a discord server about one of my interests for a year, users seem nice and mature, no drama, just working towards a goal
>finally decide to introduce myself
>someone points out i've been writing for a long time
>say i'm awkward and try to joke
>finally post a short introduction and say i'd like to start getting involved
>someone points out I must be 13+ to join
>I state my age
>no more replies
feels awkward man
Yuru Camp is so good. Glad it's getting a second season and a movie.
Damn, I wish I can be friends with you guys. It probably doesn't help, but just know that I'm rooting for you.
Just create a new account and do it over again.
my only internet friend stopped using discord months ago and i don't know how else to contact her, i miss her so much miners
i'm so lonelyyy
What are good places to meet people from imageboards?
I tried Discord servers but I feel like I can never trust anyone lest I'll end up posted on 4chan.
>>21175>good places to meet people
I met someone on discord and it seemed like it was going well for the first couple times we talked. I think they just ghosted me though and I'm feeling pretty bad about it. It's only been a few days but the last message I sent them pertained to a time sensitive thing that they said they wanted to do together, so I'm pretty certain it's a ghost. I really hate getting my hopes up only to have them smashed.
This happens a lot on Discord. In my 15 years of using online messengers I've never seen such a high rate of ghosting. It's not you. I think it's the overwhelming amount of users and how easy it is to find contacts through servers and imageboards, how effortless it is to change your handle, and I guess the flakiness of anonymous imageboards if you found that person this way.
>>7474>find a group of girls I want to be friends with>get close to them, open up>add them on social media>start feeling like we're real friends>see them hanging out with their actual friends>it gets awkward and I start hanging out with them less>get ghosted a few months later after I stop seeing them regularly
This has happened so many times in my fucking life. Sometimes I wonder wtf it wrong with me.
Boys are even worse because they have ulterior motives and/or prioritize their male friends over me
>no stories to regale acquaintances with
>no life to speak of
it’s a vicious cycle. I can never find people I relate to and engage with beyond small talk.
I usually dont feel anything bad in the mornings, but at night, my chest hurts and burns, anime and games can keep it away only for so long Im sure, and even when I dont want to play/watch them, I still force myself to, because Im afraid of what will happen if I stop, pathetic
You might have GERD. Try taking Tums or something before going to bed and see if that helps
Lmao I think she's talking about being lonely.
Update we are still friends and we might hang out together outside of school for the first time this weekend. Feels good man, I've never had a friend like this before.
I wish I could find a group of friends with whom I could go stay in a cabin in the wilderness for a bit. One bedroom each and we lounge by the fire in the living room when it's too cold to go out and spending our days outside when it's warm enough. Personal devices (cameras, laptops, dumbphones) allowed, but no smartphones or internet connection. Explore nature and hold hands while hiking back home under the stars at night after a day at the lake. I'm no holistic hippie person but fuck, something about this internet-reliant isolation makes me so desperate to shake it all off and go into the forest or the mountains. I dream of living in a village where everyone has their own secluded space as in a little house and not shoebox apartments stacked on top of each other. Everyone has their private space but is close enough to reach by foot. At night, it's quiet, with only the occasional car driving past and the headlights moving across your bedroom wall. Maybe someone texts you after midnight asking if you're still up, and you walk over in your pajamas if it's summer, have a heartfelt talk that goes nowhere in particular, and fall asleep on the couch.
When did the internet replace all my human interactions to the point where even when I'm with someone, I'd rather be alone at home, online, dreaming of finding people I can connect with and have strong, real-life friendships with rather than ones based on geographical closeness and nothing else?
I want this now. Especially the handholding part. I've never held hands with a friend that I can remember. It seems so pure and loving.
It's the best. With a significant other it's sort of just expected and normal, but whenever I'd meet up with an internet friend or otherwise long-distance friend and we held hands walking around I felt so loved and warm, like "yess this person is really happy to see me". It's like a more practical version of an ongoing hug. But I haven't had it in a really long time.Come with me anon
oh my god you guys, last week I was talking to a guy at my school about a project I'm working on. I was so excited, I was basically dumping the past year of work on him. I apologized after and said, "I'm sorry, I've just had no one to talk to about this" and he says (not being rude) "no friends who could help you?" and I STUPIDLY quickly said "I have no friends" instead of "ya haha they just aren't interested"
I spilled spaghetti over a cute guy and now he must think I'm some friendless loser… which I am but still, I should have stopped myself from saying that :(
Did his face recoil in disgust, as he realised he was talking to one of "them"? Given your perspective of him not being rude, maybe he doesn't want you to think you're "some friendless loser". Maybe he wants to be your friend? Stick around him, and see if he likes you.
well he made me repeat it, he said "oh come on you must have some friends" and I kept saying "no, no, I move a lot, I don't know anyone here" and he just kept giving me like a confused half smile, like he was expecting me to say it was all a joke.
But no, he's never been rude to me.
He seems friendly. Why not make a friend of him?
>study maths at uni, the most autistic subject there is
>all other students on my course are normies who go out to clubs, drink and do drugs etc
>cant relate to any of them
>>21999>the most autistic subject there is
that would be computer science
theres a big overlap between comp sci and maths here. theyre a bunch of chads and stacies too. although there are a handful of spergs even I wouldnt associate with
>>22001>study computer science>most are normal well-adjusted people except they play video games and maybe watch an anime here and there
most people are normalfags
>>22002>although there are a handful of spergs even I wouldnt associate with
They're probably better once you get to know them, anon.
nah theyre greasy incels. I saw one watching furry porn in the middle of a lecture
Like I said, better once you get to know them. They're the ones with the most in common with you, so it should be worthwhile trying to befriend them than anyone else.
Id rather have no friends. and if I had to chose, Id pick the normies over them anyway
You won't have much of anything in common with them, so you'll have to pretend you're somebody else, which is never a good thing to do. You'll only feel more alone in the end. Someone with little in common with you is better than nothing at all. Please help the cause against loneliness, and help yourself.
I study physics and today right next to me two guys were talking about yugioh tournaments. I think although they look like chads/stacies they will often be nerds too, so there might be someone who has something in common with you although they might not seem like it.
>>22024>They're the ones with the most in common with you
rude to assume she has anything in common with a guy that'd watch porn in the midst of a public place
if i had a choice between someone like THAT and a stacy even i'd pick the stacy
>>22024>I know he watches animal porn in public but we should give him a shot!
I'm in CS and have never seen a single tranny in any of my classes. I wonder if the ones who are like that are the types to crossdress behind closed doors or troon out later in life. The trannies I've seen on campus typically do liberal arts.
Then why complain about the norms, at that point? Beggars, choosers.
what are you talking about? you can dislike normies and hate disgusting freaks at the same time…
Isolation isn't healthy, anon. The computer people don't count as friends, as much as they want to. As much as someone wants to justify being alone, they don't deserve it. It's not healthy.
what does that have to do with people who watch furry porn in the middle of lectures? no, relationships with people like that would not be healthier than being alone
Then it's time to conform. Either that, or you could try socialising with someone not on your campus. The world does go on farther than that.
why are you so afraid of being alone anon? its not ideal but you dont need to scrape the bottom of the barrel or fake being someone else just to be friends with someone you dont even really like
I specifically said not to pretend you're somebody else. Looking down on people for one thing they probably hate themselves over is unhealthy. It means you have no room to judge the world for not giving you what you want. They wanted help making friends, but then they don't want to help themselves at it. I'm only trying to help.
>>22078>I specifically said not to pretend you're somebody else
you said to "conform">they probably hate themselves over
if they hated themselves over it they wouldnt be watching furry porn on their laptop in the middle of a lecture, and would have a shower>It means you have no room to judge
I can judge because Im objectively better than a smelly furry pervert with no regard for people around them
Conforming is the only way you can make friends when you're so impossible. As far as I know, this incident happened only once. Is that right? Who can say they're scum, when they probably say that to themselves? They can feel shame for what they've done, and you wouldn't even notice. Too busy thinking about how ugly they are. If you lack sympathy and judge others, you're only isolating yourself.
what do you mean Im impossible? and no they have done it multiple times as well as other gross things. they obviously have no shame
Then shame them, and get egotistical. If you want to be anything but depressed, you aren't helping yourself. There's people beyond your campus, right? Go meet them, if these people you are surrounded by are so shameful. If you don't have the time, then make it. Having your schedule clouded up today with work can only serve to make you regretful for doing nothing but work for your past.
Just stop responding to the troll tbh
I'm so lonely. Tonight I got really restless and walked around town for two hours, going in and out of bars, saying nothing to anybody, just watching other people living their lives. When I got back to my apartment I started crying.
I don't want to slide back into ruminating until 3:00 AM every night, hugging pillows so I don't cry myself to sleep, and thinking about suicide all the time. I hated college but I'm just as isolated now that I'm out of it.
Have you tried drinking to maybe relax enough to talk to people? People usually don’t care if you start a conversation and join them.
Nothing good comes out of a bar. Try a library bookclub, or a church groupmeet, etc. Anything but a bar or god-help-you, a club.
Why would you think that loneliness would decrease after college? How did you think that you'd suddenly make more friends afterwards?
It only goes downhill if you're not part of any sort of social/special interest club or something. Especially if you're now NEET and don't have (m)any friends to start with.
IMO library and church groups are lousy places to meet people. The former because people are usually there to study or read, the latter because in my experience youth groups are filled with crazies.
Book/hobby stores and coffee bars are great though
Quit thinking nobody wants to talk to you. If someone came up to you, and asked "What are you reading?", you should answer positively, if you don't want to die alone. Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad.
[pseudo] S02E06 Vi…
I'm basing it off my own experience. I've had a guy hit on me at the library and it was uncomfortable because I was so busy studying for an exam and too passive to ask him to leave. Bookstores are a different story because people don't expect silence there so that's why I mentioned it as an alternative.
>>25671>I've had a guy hit on me at the library
I'm not saying to hit on people at the library. That guy clearly didn't know where he was, or what he was doing. Act like you want to be friends with them, not shag, because that's what you want. Friends, right?
I think you're mistaking me for someone else, I'm >>25644
. I don't have a friend problem, I was just suggesting what >>25643
should do to make friends.
I know you're not that anon. I'm just making my point clear.
What point are you trying to make? I'm saying in my experience, the library's a bad place to converse with people because most people are there to have somewhere quiet to be and aren't looking to socialize.
>>25698>most people are there to have somewhere quiet to be and aren't looking to socialize
If you think that way, then you will never know otherwise.
could someone please post the discord server link for cc? i'm new here
there's no server, it was canned because it was a drama magnet
>>25823>tfw I want to make a thread for individuals to exchange their discord IDs>know it would be a mistake because it would probably be dominated by men
if anyone wants to be frens with me, I'd always be open to it.. I have a few irl frens, but they're kind of rude to me and I can't deal with it anymore. I don't really know how to make friends.. I'm 19 and from Virginia. If anyone has any tips on how to make more frens, please respond! Or, if you'd wanna be online frens, that would be cool too. I'm pretty confident in who I am, I just can't find anyone who actually can appreciate me, and it kind of hurts. I don't use discord, but if anyone of you has email, it would be really cool!! Mine is [email protected]
All these years I thought I was okay but in the past month or so I've come to realize how lonely I really am and how much I don't want to remain alone
>people like this have friends
it's not fair
Damn, I go away for 6 months due to real life circumstances and I miss the CC discord and the inevitable explosion of drama. I wanted to see that shit explode in front of my very eyes. What a shame, but I kind of expected it.
Getting diagnosed with AVPD really put into perspective why I let the few budding friendships I had fall by the wayside. I'm about to start therapy tomorrow for it, I mean I'm also getting help for depression and PTSD but lessening the adverse effects of AVPD would be grand.
If anyone is wondering what AVPD means it's avoidant personality disorder.
I hope some of you guys made at least one friend this year, it's almost over but there's still time :)
I don't know how to make friends. I live in a cliquey college town of standoffish punks and I don't bother anymore. [email protected]
I'm 25 and I like books, guitars, vidya, history, politics, philosophy, and art. I really like this place you all seem cool. Someone talk to me.
I'm genuinely friendless. Not to say that people abandoned me, but I also had a fair share of cutting off any contacts with anyone who may have genuinely seen me as a friend.
As a kid I've been bullied a lot, and when I finally got friends I may have been an asshole to them, without me knowing it. Part of the reason I pushed the last of my friends away is because of the realization that I was never a good person, and partly because I felt like some of the people I called friends weren't really friends at all (usually only there when I was treating drinks, needed tech favors, etc).
I am at a constant state of hating myself for past actions and have been constantly remembering failures of any kind. Mere objects or arbitrary events have become 'keys' to memories I hate. I've become incapable of friendship, also partly because of a massive failure from a romantic engagement with someone.
Since then, I came to terms with the fact that I may have the possibility of never becoming close with anyone, and that I shouldn't at least until I've learned to get through this personal hell. After all, I don't think I'm worthy of anyone's love and respect at least until I can not be a fuck up in front of them.
Finding friends is just as similar as finding lovers.
I've always said this and I'll post it again:
You actually have to make an effort to make friends. That includes improving yourself.
The hardest truth to swallow is that we may not be the kind of person we think we are. So you have to evaluate yourself and see if there are any traits/attitudes that we can improve or control.
Next is to start talking to someone: Join clubs that interests you, find social events near you that you may be even slightly interested in and attend them. Start talking, even if it's just questions like: so what did you think about X?, Is this the queue for X?
The point is to make conversing with people a natural thing to you.
Then trade emails or numbers with each other and continue from there.
You want to listen if you want them to listen to you. Be genuinely interested. Smile.
Actually, read that Carnegie book. That book gives the same advice and more.
You're also 19, very young and full of opportunities and time to get things sorted out. So don't fret.
I miss my friends so much I want to cry. I miss hugging them, laughing and just spending time together irl. We are by now living in different cities and have so much work or study to do that we don't even find the time to text each other.
Being an adult woman, tied to a shitty workplace and a sad empty home doesn't make me happy and there are just a few loose contacts I have here.
I dont think you can have more than one friend. I think having multiple devalues the relationship. when Ive only ever had one friend at a time. I just dont understand how people can have a whole group, or even multiple separate groups of friends. when I see people who live like this, I feel like the connections between them are vapid and meaningless
I know this isnt how normal people feel, but I think its how I feel
This is a silly analogy. The fact you think it's comparable actually strengthens the argument against poly relationships.
I genuinely didnt mean it as an analogy for sexual relationships. those are my legitimate feeling about platonic friendships
I dont have enough caring in me to be friends with multiple people, and dont feel like a person is truly my friend if they have other friends
I don't understand why friendless people don't organize meetings.
I know cc isn't that full but I'm sure in big cities you could find one or two girls to hang with.
I already meet people IRL (from my local forum so not in English) and it was nice.
Should we create a tagmap or something?
You sound just like me, jeez. Anytime I talk to another girl I tense up and have no idea what to say. Even with online people, I just end up slowly fading out because of my dumb fear.
>>33590>Should we create a tagmap or something?
I'd like that! It's always fun seeing where other posters are from.
Oh my fuck, same.
I am in a female dominated career field and the majority of supervisors/classmates/colleagues I've ever had have been female but I have never been able to have a meaningful friendship with a girl. I can usually get male friends a bit easier, but I never know what to say to get girls to like you as a friend rather than an overly attached acquaintance.
If I ever get married, my only bridesmaid will be my mom at this rate.
I lost my friendship group a year after we left school together and haven't been able to find a single new friend since. When all of the others started bullying one of the girls in our group, I stood up for her and we were both cast out. Now she too has ditched me for her fiance and her new friends that she found at her work. Also, my shitty mental health has worsened, now I'm a friendless neet that can't handle a part-time job. The closest thing I have to a friend is my sibling that I'm sure my mum convinced to hang out with me.
Interesting idea. How do we find each other?
I'm not totally friendless but pretty lonely most of the time. My only two friends work full-time and unfortunately I'm a NEET.
Ideally I want a female friend to do fitness stuff with. I've joined "community oriented" gyms (memorabilia like jerseys, funny quotes/memes and pictures of members on the wall are usually a good indicator) but I have not found lasting friendships from this yet.
I have few friends, and it hurts but I lack female friends. Using discord has recently landed me into a neat group with some other girls though. I'd reccommend trying it and just joining groups pertaining to your interest.
I haven't had friends since highschool and even then I didn't meet them that often.
I'm a bit late but I made a tagmap since it seemed like others were interested in it now. You just tag your location and I think it gives you an option to like add a comment to it if you wanted to like post a discord tag or something. https://tagmap.io/tag/crystal.cafe
Okay cool, 9 people altogether. Fake or not, this is kind of interesting.
2 years ago i saw an anime movie alone, this year i met a few people into it but no one wants to go with me to see the 2nd one fuck i really just need to fucking kill myself already im so fucking lonely
I watched an anime series alone, and the entire time I wanted to be watching it with someone else.
op here and i still haven't made a single friend, online or off. i'm a piranha and being boring is my teeth
Op ill be your friend plx i want someone to talk to alyssa#5213
Also im baltimore and dont like anime but ill watch whatever you want with you i just want to do things with people and have anons to text
I have very few friends and I'll have an important birthday soon. It sucks because at my age you are supposed to have many friends. It will be shameful to write many invitations and maybe 1 or 2 people will come just to be polite. I'm glad I can postpone this until the next year because of Coronavirus.
I improved all other aspects of my life but making friends is something I struggle with a lot.
currently friendless but kinda enjoying the solitude strangely
i think having to go to school with no friends is what felt the worst for me cause it makes u stand out as a loser
would like to find some female friends with similar nerdy interests so hmu if u want :) #luna2546
Most of the girls I was friends with in middle/high school were rude or used me as an emotional punching bag, so I never really got to experience a wholesome friendship with another girl. I'm hoping whenever I get a job I'll meet someone who is genuinely nice. I just want someone I can relax with that's not my boyfriend. But like many others here, talking is exhausting for me and I'm comfortable with being alone so I'm thinking maybe it's best if I just continue consuming media that makes me feel like I'm not as lonely as I am, but then I realize that's not healthy, so you know what, whatever. I'll just have to figure my shit out.>>21117
This looks cute.
been two more years still friendless
anyway i seethe over people that have had friends they met in their niche, weird interests and kept for periods of 10+ years.
Same. I was always too normal for the real nerd girls and not normal enough for the normal or "lol I'm such a geek" girls.
I have online friends, but nobody irl. I wish I did. I'm in my 30s and meeting people is so hard.
>8 friendless years
The suffering truly never ends, huh?
Have you tried disboard?
As long as you filter your search by 18+ you'll avoid most cancer.
Dodge the "dating" and "rp" tags too, but that goes without saying.
You Will have to slog through abunch of trash to find something that's not too big, but not dead.
I've had the best luck only picking servers with about 100 members in them (not online), since only a quarter will be active.
That's what I did.
Hopefully you'll talk to someone in your area, and you'll get at least 1 irl friend.
i feel you
its even harder now because of the covid, because i dont even leave my house anymore
at least when the virus wasnt around i could still get some social contact by going to school/work and it didnt feel as depressing.
i cant even join any online community because i suck at keeping in touch with people and it seems like most people are in a different timezone than mine. idk. its hard
>today i spent the whole day wallowing in self pity trying to numb my pain by consuming about 6 hours of youtube videos, and most of them i didnt even enjoy.
I do that and I genuinely suffer while doing it. I feel bad, but can't quit. It's an addiction probably, an addiction taking control over me because I have no friends, am a failure, no romantic experience.
i remember the days when i used to do that with my friends. didnt last long, i havent had friends in years. i always look back with disgust fir who i used to be but long for the love and friendships i had.
I have no friends I have people I talk to or rather talk to me on reddit I have had some anons email me as well but I just cannot feel that magic I think I am afraid of being hurt so mentally wont connect with anyone I do not really get lonely ever but I know I am missing out on a friend and just having people care or want to talk to me is not the same as really feeling care about someone else.
So many creeps as well online they send you weird messages and try edate you and it is all too much hassle.
I'm tired of being friendless so I'll drop my email and post a bit about myself.[email protected]
Well, I'm 22 years old, work from home, live with my boyfriend, ESL (my first language spanish), I like videogames but I've been mostly playing minecraft and overwatch, I used to read a lot but kinda hate myself because I barely do now, last thing I read was The Industrial Revolution and its consequences, one of my favorite artists is sufjan stevens, modesty apart I'm really good at cooking and I hate the whole trans movement and really dislike when people idealize sex work.
what sort of videos did you watch, anon?
This. I studied Comp Sci and work as an engineer. For all the hate CS men get, people at my company are married, some are fit or have 'social' hobbies like hiking or climbing. And honestly all of the women I work with are extremely normal - big group of friends and either lots of hookups and/or relationships.
Nobody near me ;_;
I have no female friends irl. Online I don't have any close friens. I feel like I've always been cast aside by other girls and I'm not sure why, guess I'm just bland. I was always the most unpopular of my childhood/teen friend group. I think they only spoke to me out of pity.
No friend so no one to care about and no reason to self improve to encourage my friend to improve. stuck in the hole.
Encourage yourself so you can feel better. Think of yourself as 3 people: past you, present you, and future you. Try and do as many nice things (as present you) that you can for future you. You will soon notice that past you has done nice things for present you!
I have also studied computer science. It is true that people in the departments were nerds in that they really got deep into their particular system of interested. And people (myself included) would spend days and nights working on problems or formulas. People are nerdy in that way.
But even there most people went out partying and quickly got into relationships. Maybe on average less wild but people certainly did it. If you are a shut in, you are weird everywhere.
i wanna post myself but i dont want any creeps adding me ahhhh
You don't have to enter any contact info, I just signed up and am only receiving messages through the site so I can screen whoever tries to talk to me before I give them any contact info.
I still can’t believe I was a popular kid in the nursery school and first grade who everyone wanted to be friends with. Flash forward to high school when I was one of the two biggest and loneliest outcasts of the class (the other girl literally had some mental fuck up so I have no excuse).
>>50336>the industrial society and its future
you seem cool, whats your discord tag?
Well my childhood best friend is ghosting me now. To be fair I gave her a hard time cuz she never messaged me or reached out to me unless I did it first. I got upset at her and now she wont respond to me at all. I thought of her as my last chance of having friends now thats gone.
I was going to message her older sister and tell her and thank her for being there for me during my rough childhood but I feel like that would kinda be guilt tripping ha ha ….
I miss having friends, I miss sitting with them and watching a movie and making jokes about it. Miss leaving campus to get lunch in high school. Miss having a sleepover and playing video games and watching Toonami.
My friends are married now or I distanced from them. Today I had a shit day at work and when I got home I texted a friend saying I was sorry if I was ever a bad friend to her.
>>33693>omg someone right where i would put my tag>moid lurker
ew ew ew why the fuck are you here you have the entire rest of the internet
Oh god I saw this too late, in case you are still around here my discord is Pherphick#1553.
fck just noticed i put "Industrial revolution and its consequences" instead of Industrial Society and its Future. Guess the quote really stick to me.
lol i saw that shit and noped out. if we're talking about the same one then u might be close to me? if u wanna discord its creepy#9327
yeah i had to take my tag thing off because guys kept contacting me…and i was only tagged for crystal.cafe :<
kind of based
old women are really cool
My job is 80% talking to old people and they're much more pleasant and jovial than the younger ones
Yeah, she’s awesome. But kinda exhausting at times. But that’s just cause of age difference, language barriers (English isn’t her first language) and she’s an extrovert while I’m an introvert lol it works out though. She’s so cute
been two years, still friendless, still sad about it. at least college is going decently okay sort of kind of.
What specifically do you struggle with in social settings?
I envy the bond they have. The last friendship I ever had was back in high school and she was just a bitch. So mean for no reason.
I envy people with good friends more than I envy happy couples. I wish I had a really trustworthy sweet girl best friend to share a house with.
been three years and i'm still friendless. not even sure what's changed in my life, except that i'll have a degree soon (cs, i know jack shit about it though kek). so anxious and nervous. people posting fun caps from their group chats still makes me feel miserable.
i won't give up though.
this is almost impressive in a way, i think. i can't consider any of the "friends" i had in high-school actual friends (friends don't talk about you behind your back, right? you can talk about serious things with actual friends, yes? they won't shut you down if you try to vent). but if that's my criteria…then even before that, in middle school, i didn't have any actual friends. so i've been friendless since i was 11ish or so. always alone.
it feels good to cry but it doesn't feel as good as having friends would.
Ugh I feel this so much. The last time I had real friends was in middle school high school was hell. I've always been weird to other people even my family finds me strange. Apparently I say random shit and do things which are inappropriate for my age but idk exactly what any of it means. I have periods where I desire human interaction, but then I just can't handle it anymore and withdrawal. For that reason, I would actually really enjoy someone who doesn't mind me disappearing for months and doesn't take it personally but I understand that most people can't do that. just in case anyone wants to try though I'mSoTired#7383
still friendless. it's getting tough. every new thing i get into is an echo of all the other things i've tried and done that have ended in me being solitary.
also these three years have been so utterly wasted, all i did was zone out in university. why didn't i pick up art or something.
this is a fascinating website; the selection of other tags really tells a story.https://tagmap.io/tags
there's someone listed on the /r9k/ one from my bumfuck nowhere city, but profile is sparse and i'm not putting in my discord details into that site
kek I'm so lonely that I'd almost be interested in meeting up with the tags in my city, but also I feel like I could get murdered
Calgary anons wanna be friends?
Quite a few nearby, made an account but decided that was probably a bad choice since it seems to be 4chan user dominated and filled with moids.
Maybe if I didn't have a bf I'd put up with the creeps like I used to but not anymore.
Wish we had a site like this which was women only but that can never exist huh.
It's just moids near me too.
i had a really bad falling out with my former friend group after i had a really bad mental health crisid that had me hospitalized for over a month. my best friend blocked me on quite literally everything, and the other 2 friends avoid talking to me now. i know they already replaced me, and are for sure screenshotting my socials and talking shit about me in their group chat.
it just hurts being abandoned during the worst time of my life, and theyre making me out to be the villain because i lost several mutual friends because this group kept running their narrative of "shes a crazy bpd bitch"
at the end of the day, i know i lived my truth, but being alone and having no friends hurts. the only person i have now is my bf. im in a better place in my life now and im deleting my socials to keep myself away from my old group and the public eye.
i'm sheltered, which i don't resent my parents for and honestly keep myself sheltered as well, but i feel an immense amount of loneliness whenever i overhear people talk about having friends over. i have never had that in my life. never had someone explicitly ask me to come hang out with them in their place. whenever i watch a movie and there's a scene of friends all sat on the bed together i feel like a shell of a human being. i wish i knew what a sleepover feels like. i wish i even just had someone to stay up late with even over the phone even.
i don't have a best friend. i miss having one so much but i'm such a husk of a person i'm inapproachable and i've completely lost my socialization skills. on top of this i'm unable to talk to anyone i don't already know and have since at least middle to early highschool.
i just miss having a friend so badly. i want a friend i can be silly with intimately and i want her to be my best friend. i'm so lonely
One of the worst things for me is having put in the effort of trying to make friends irl but having nothing in common with them when it comes down to actually hanging out. The worst is when they say something really fucking dumb or offensive. Finding someone with the same vibes is hard
Anon I feel for you. I could have wrote this except I did have friends up until age 16. I had a small group of friends and a best friend. Then I moved and have been a socially anxious shut in since. I don't know how to make friends anymore and I'm scared and nervous around strangers.
Ever since I had my best friend at the time betray me in late 2020, I couldn't make friends as easily or have a friend group again. I have frequent paranoid fits where I delete or remove people from my friend's list, and then isolate myself for weeks. It still hurts, and it happened when I was around 16. I'm an adult now, and it's like this deep scar in my brain won't heal.
I've tried discord, that didn't work and actually made me feel worse, and twitter, but that didn't help either. I go to university but I always feel sad when people I want to be friends with ignore me and have so much fun with the friends they've known since grade school. A big chunk of people I considered my online friends just ignore me or ghost me for weeks on end, they say they're busy but they change their profile pics or go out with other friends.
I've tried lowering my standards also, but forcing myself to be a boring person who only likes trends only makes me feel shittier. I know it sounds extremely arrogant of me, but I wish there was people who had the passion, mindset, and patience that I do. Only this month did I realise that even though I put my contact information in the open, nobody bothers to reach out to me. Only two of my online friends reach out to me on a frequent basis, the rest, they ignore me and never talk to me unless I talk to them.
I feel so fucking lonely. Like the OP picture, I wish I could mess around with friends like that, or go to places together with people. It seems like I am fucked with real life and online friends either way, and my horrible paranoia doesn't make it any better.
something similar happened to me too. a little different but i was going through the worse period of my life & i suppose I wasn’t the greatest friend at that time, i didn’t do anything inherently wrong, but I couldn’t be relied upon. but I was always so supportive & as helpful as I could be. i feel like one of the girls was threatened by me as she felt quite possessive of another girl in the group, someone I got on well with, so she had an agenda to push me out. I was too nice & forgiving & didn’t assert boundaries properly & eventually i had my breakdown. when I was going through my crisis, this girl kicked me when I was down - immediately causing drama, stirring stuff behind my back, trying to push me out, stirring lies about me. unfortunately because she came off as the stable rational one as I had mental health problems she was believed. the group followed suit. I lost my friends & i became pretty pathetic by trying to hang onto it. it messes you up. but how ironic that when I have issues, start to take time away & get help, that this happens. but ultimately people that fall out with you when you put yourself first, are often the ones that benefit from you putting yourself last. as soon as you enter that mode you are of no use to them anymore. my situation is a little different but what I can suggest is that 1. you don’t have anything wrong with you, so never convert this situation into “not being good” enough etc - what they have shown you, is that they are not good enough for you. good riddance that people you thought were friends, are actually selfish, uncaring & disloyal people and that they are gone. you don’t want friends like this anyway. you don’t need their validation. their opinion about you should hold absolutely no value. only people in your inner circles who have your best interests have valuable opinions on you. so ultimately their opinions should have no bearing on you as they have shown themselves unworthy of being your friend. another thing to note is that people who bring a lot to the table, loyalty, caring, empathy & more - find it hard to meet other people that mirror this. “the more you bring to the table, the harder it is to find someone to sit with” - but there are nice people out there, you just have to filter out the shitty ones.
I know how you feel Nona
It's pretty much me except I had few acquaintances in college. I was never invited to parties, trips anything
Now its hard for me to make friends & my social skills suck