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Suicide Support Thread Anonymous 79315

Post in this thread if you're thinking about suicide and would like some non-judgemental love and support.

CC is always here to listen to anything on your mind.

You are important to us and we love you.

Anonymous 79316

As someone who does not currently want to kill myself but frequently struggles with suicidal ideation I support this thread and just want to say never give up, wait a few minutes, take a bath, have a cold glass of water, everything is going to be okay.
Don't let anyone or anything break you. You don't owe anyone anything.
Everything is going to get better anonettes

Anonymous 79318

Anonymous 79409

I'm going to be honest. I've called before and it doesn't fucking help. All the call center people are volunteers and they don't know how to help you, at all.

What helped me was reading stories of people in even worse situations than me surviving, and stories of people in better situations than me getting utterly fucked up. It makes me realize how pointless and random life is and made me feel somewhat more detached from my problems. It won't magically make you not depressed, it just might help a bit.

Anonymous 79435

I agree. I feel similar about therapists honestly.
Similar to what you said, but the thing that helped me the most was speaking to people who have struggled with similar struggles to me but managing to have a happy life one day regardless. I appreciate genuine sympathy, but when I am sad what I desire the most is someone who not only understands, but has actually overcome it.

I reached out to a support group about one of my main issues recently and I think it's straight up one of the best things I've ever done. Everyone was so supportive, understanding and helpful. I talked to people going through it, and people who have managed to overcome it yet stuck around to help others. I have never been met with so much kindness in my life.

Anonymous 79478

This makes me feel anxious because i started therapy recently. Few sessions so far, and my main goal was to get directed to a psychiatrist and get drugged up because my pain is unbearable. Now i feel stupid because i opened up to my therapist and i should’ve just been monotone and less engaging with her just tell her the current situation rather than going over my history and actually trying to get help.

Anonymous 79508


I have been to the psych ward twice, on my second time i called a suicide hotline and they sent the fucking cops to come get me. This is why i tell people not to use them

Anonymous 79513

sorry, I am clueless- to get for what exactly?
“this is suicide police you are arrested for a homicide of yourself attempt”?

Anonymous 79522

nta but it reads like the suicide hotline was called, and they called the cops and took anon away to the hospital for the second time. i wanted to use a suicide online chat once and it asked for my zip code. i noped out of that in fear that the cops would come haul me off. if one asks for any location, or can ping your location easily then i wouldn't trust any of those hotlines/chats/etc.

Anonymous 79555

Don't worry anon, I know therapy can help some people but it's just not for me. I wish you the best.

Anonymous 79557

I thought I was the only one with a bad experience with them… Years ago I had called them in crisis. The first time I called I spoke with a very nice elderly woman who really heard me out and wanted to help, but had to get off of the phone. She made me promise that I wouldn't do anything and would check on me after a week. I didn't make it a week before calling again. This time I was really breaking down. Some young girl answers my call and really couldn't stand me. One of my major hangups at the time was because of a chronic/terminal illness I have, I felt like I was born in error. She disregarded it and told me that she knew someone with my condition and "they do fine". I lost it at that point and she did too, and told me she talked to people worse off than me that did kill themselves. I know it's a hard job, and it's hard to deal with people in that mental state, but that's no reason to taunt someone. Before I took the final blow an officer arrived and here I am.
At the end of the day, the crisis line is just a call center. They're really not there to talk or make you feel better, they're there to call the cops and get you off of the phone asap so they can take the next one. I'd rather trust someone from 4chan than leave my life to those terrible people.

Anonymous 79572


Around two weeks ago I was playfully flirting with a guy over text, looked in the mirror, noticed my hips had gotten wider, and started feeling insecure, ugly, and unloveable, and my mind just short-circuited and I went and cut my arm up with the sharpest knife I had and showed him, but unbeknownst to me I hit an artery and my blood ended up gushing and squirting for around 8 hours until the morning sun rose without letting up until I replaced bandage after bandage and just held it down as tightly as I could all night long. I was drowsy throughout. The fear of dying was palpable and very scary to me, and seeing my blood everywhere made my home feel like a geniune crime scene, but all I could do was silently sob while standing over the sink and contemplating my life choices up until that point.

Yet I felt strangely alive and energized because of it, even though the guy was begging me to call an ambulance throughout it all or to at least tell my neighbors, but that kindness and worry from him only made me feel more comforted and relaxed. Never been to a psych ward, but the thought scared me anyway, not to mention the shame and potential cost. I just went to sleep after it finally stopped and cleaned that hot mess up afterward.

I know it's unhealthy, but these are the only kinds of experiences that give me enough of an adrenaline-rush and catharsis to remind me that I want to be alive, or at least that I don't want to be dead. I would say I'd need better coping mechanisms, but this whole event felt so surreal and random in the first place and I don't know if I'm fully over it yet.

Anonymous 79579

im glad you're still here nona<3

Anonymous 79580

Omg reading this made my heart go wild I hope you are okay right now and I am so happy you are alive!

You should write stories btw

Anonymous 79588

Thank you ❤️

Anonymous 79602

I'm glad you're still here anon. I'm sorry you had a bad experience, that sounds horrible. It's a shame that you didn't get the elderly lady again. I really do feel like older women are better at comforting.

Anonymous 79629

Thanks for the kind words, I did end up talking to her after I initially hung up on the younger girl, but it was mostly her berating me for not following through on my promise before she transfered me back to the younger one. Terrible experience, but also I think it makes me value places like cc more. Sure we might be a bunch of social misfits but at least there are others in a world where we're so isolated.

Anonymous 79642

I really do think cc is full of very kind people who, at least to an extent, understand. Of course there are assholes here but this place is valuable to me.

Anonymous 79699

Yeah, I think that's why I come back here and to 4chan after all these years. It's home and we all understand each other on a closer level it seems.

Anonymous 79820

Most people will have hard time understanding this. Extreme situations like this don't happen in lives of a lot of people so I understand it's hard to advise anything, most people don't know what it's like when the moral standards change overnight due to . I just wanna be a good and helpful person but I don't understand how exactly. It used to be easier in the past when being a good person just meant trying not to harm anybody and do something helpful too. Rn I don't understand how can someone like me be helpful enough in order not to be bad. I've gone from an alright person to a terrible one and I have no idea how to change it and how to become an alright person again. There is nothing left to live for someone like me and even possible good things will be undeserved for someone like me. That's too specific of a situation to even ask for the advice and I hate it.
It's hard to handle. I've tried to strangle myself so ligature would strangle me even after I lose consciousness but I'm seemingly too dumb for this. I don't get it. Why good people die and yet someone as terrible as me is alive despite everything? That's unfair. If somebody knows a good way to do this or another alright suicide method that won't have too bad of consequences even if done wrong please do tell me. There is seemingly nothing else that can help.

Anonymous 79821

I might not understand your situation completely anon but the fact that you care a lot about being a good person and try to be one means that you are in my eyes. Most people don’t do that and don’t care for anyone but themselves. We need people like you to make sure there is good in this world.

I don’t know if this exactly applies to you, but I think sometimes people get stuck in a capitalist mindset of having to “earn” everything in life, such as kindness, love, a good life, etc. when these things should be universally available to everyone as a human right.

Anonymous 79822

Thank you, nona, that's very kind.
For better or worse it's not really the case where I live and everyone is always very helpful so I'm actually a negative outlier who maybe wants to help but is never able to do anything significant.
>I don’t know if this exactly applies to you, but I think sometimes people get stuck in a capitalist mindset of having to “earn” everything in life, such as kindness, love, a good life, etc. when these things should be universally available to everyone as a human right.
And that's 100% in regular situations. But when there is extreme situation when even basic rights to live and stuff like this are disregarded and you need to be as helpful as possible to change that, a lot more helpful than regular situations require, you need to earn the right not to be worthless which I was not able to achieve and I have no clue how someone like me can achieve that

But thank you, you seem like a very kind and sweet person

Anonymous 79825

Sometimes anon you have to be selfish and do what is right for you and put yourself first to survive. I don't mean deliberately doing harm to other people, but more like making sure your own needs are met first. It's hard to help others when you are lacking something yourself. Sometimes you can only help others a bit, sometimes not at all. This doesn't make you a bad person for not being perfect and not being able to do everything right and not helping everyone.

Instead of looking at the big picture, look at every opportunity to help someone as it comes along and honestly ask yourself if you are able to help today or not. Help if you can but don't dwell on it if you can't. It's not your sole responsibility to make sure that every other person on the planet is doing ok.

Anonymous 79826

Thank you. I just don't understand whether this applies to extreme situations. Technically I am supposed to be more helpful and I am supposed to be good at meeting my needs regardless or at least be strongwilled and be very helpful despite everything just like everyone else

I'll try to look for available opportunities but I'm so unbelieavably terrible at everything I doubt I would be much of help. I try to help and there is nothing in my head, there is emptinnes, there are no memorization of skills, no nothing. I have to redo stuff all over again to achieve nothing. It's hard to help when you're someone like me and I'm almost completely paralyzed by this and nobody can advise me anything because people either haven't been in such situations or they're very intelligent, skilled, determined and strongwilled and they're everything that I'm not.

But thank you, looking at every opportunity seems like a better idea if I ever get myself out of this paralyzed state

Thank you, nona, you're very helpful

Anonymous 79827

If you struggle to help people, could you maybe connect other people that need help instead? Or even do basic chores for people like cooking, cleaning, etc, allowing others to have more free time to help?

And sometimes you do have to admit defeat and realise that by taking a step back and just standing out of the way, you are being the most helpful. That's ok too as not everyone has the right skill set.

Also, don't compare yourself to other people if they are helping and not struggling. Different people react differently in different situations. For example, some people are afraid of spiders, some can pick them up no problem. It wouldn't be fair to make the person afraid of spiders deal with any spiders that entered the house when someone else can do it. And it's not their fault if the only jobs needing done are spider related either. They just have to stand back and wait until it's their time to shine with something non-spider related. That might come or it might not but it's the best use of their skill set.

Anonymous 79828

>I just don't understand whether this applies to extreme situations
Yes, it definitely does. In fact, even more so as it's less likely that anyone else will have the headspace to look after you or put you first. Keeping yourself in a good place mentally and taking care of yourself is very important so that other people can look after themselves too.

Anonymous 79831

>Or even do basic chores for people like cooking, cleaning, etc, allowing others to have more free time to help?
Dunno if there's even someone needing this but I guess if there was it would be nice.
And thank you, it makes sense, it's just hard not to feel guilty when you're useless and knowing that miserably little skills you have will likely never be helpful.
But I guess having hope that it would change would be nice. Thank you, nona
I guess. Though it's not like anybody cares whether I'm in a good place mentally nor it affects other people but I guess it might be annoying if they have misfortune of dealing with me so gotta tone it down somehow. Thank you, nona

Anonymous 79832

>Though it's not like anybody cares whether I'm in a good place mentally nor it affects other people
I know it's corny but CC cares about you. You seem like a really nice person and CC wouldn't be a nice community without people like you.

Anonymous 79833

Thank you, nona, it doesn't sound corny to me, but actually very comforting. You're also a really nice person and I'm glad you're here

Anonymous 79858

Is anyone else actively planning? It’s kind of scary but i’m feeling excited for it almost. Everyday i wake up and i do various things to see if i’ll miss it. There is still some anxiety around what happens after death and i can’t comprehend all of this just going… poof. But that’s the beauty of it at the same time.

Anonymous 79862

anon, i think it's more likely you feel good because you have a project to work on and something to look forward to. that doesn't have to be death. it can be a hobby, getting an education, or crossing something off your bucket list. the vast majority of people who attempt suicide but survive regret attempting.

nothing happens after death. you have your whole life ahead of you. don't throw that away for nothing.

Anonymous 79866

I do have hobbies and projects i wanted to do, but i’m too miserable to enjoy any of it. I tried so hard for 3 years to do something about it but my mental state and current living situation is debilitating. I’m broken and i have suffered from familial narcissistic abuse and still do, Its really vicious and i can’t get on with life because narcissistic abuse especially from a caretaker makes you feel like an empty shell of your former self. My future prospects are looking very bleak, i might actually be in danger if my parents die and they are very old. I think i died a long time ago and its time for the flesh suit to follow suit. It’s just not for me, i don’t like this script. Yknow? Sometimes we can’t help ourselves and no one’s willing to provide us the help we need.

Anonymous 79934

I'm sorry to hear that anon. I'm sure you've already considered these, but have you thought about reporting your abusers? Or working towards building up an online business so you can move out and hire carers? Or looking for government support?

Anonymous 79940

Screen Shot 2022-0…

Thank you for being my frens. I'm ugly and weird in real life so I don't have many friends and (obviously) never had a bf despite being in my late 20s. Online friends are the best because they tolerate my spergness and don't judge me.

Anonymous 79955



Anonymous 79990

Anonymous 80898

Does anyone feel as if it's nearly impossible to discuss suicidal thoughts and idealization with the people around you? I so desperately want to talk to someone about this, someone that's physically there. But, this overwhelming sense of guilt and fear washes over me and I'm unable to. Is this normal? Has anyone else felt this way?


Anonymous 80900

Probably because in most places you can be locked up and forcibly drugged if you admit to having suicidal thoughts. I'd only feel comfortable admitting it around another suicidal person and even then, I don't really want to discuss it, because what is there to even say? Life is shit, that's all.

Anonymous 80905

I don't think if it is normal or not is important. Do you think you are afraid of self disclosure or thier reaction? What kind of reaction would you hope for, silent listening, comfort, attempts at aiding you? I would guess you just want them to listen without judging you. Is that the case?

Anonymous 81058

I don't understand why most normoids skirt around the topic of death. I know it's childish to think that I have come to terms with my own mortality hence why suicidal ideation doesn't bother me much
I can understand where it stems from (escapism) and i can also understand that while I'm not looking forward to existing (because I'm not really alive) I won't accelerate my own demise either. At least not actively.
I did "try" once. But the attempt was laughable, and my body's reaction disappointed me greatly. I thought I had accepted that suicide was a valid means of escape, but my body instinctively entered into panic mode the moment i downed the bottle of pills. I dunno why the experience left a bad taste in my mouth. It wasn't the shame of being exposed. I think it was the fact that my "depression" was not that severe and clinical after all, else my body wouldn't have grasped at life so desperately.
After that, suicide (my attempt at least) was just an act of hysterics, robbed of the seriousness and gravity that i might have once alloted to it. It became something insignificant, when i once thought it would be monumental, life defining, important, so fucking important.

Anonymous 81187

I feel extremely broken man, i feel like my life ended before if started

Anonymous 81329

It might be because you feel like a burden on those close to you and don't want to burden them even further by being emotionally open with them.
If you feel this way, please remember that if they would feel depressed and suicidal you'd be there for them.

Anonymous 81347


The only reason I have not killed myself yet is because I fear going to hell. I've been depressed more or less non-stop since I was like 8, with no signs of stopping. I am on the verge of tears the entire day, almost every day, and I wish I could cry because then I calm down a little for some time but it usually doesnt come for me until towards the end of the day. I think about cutting myself daily and sometimes the urge is so overpowering I can barely even process reality properly but I have never done it because I fear that He will never help me get over this if I disobey Him like that. But I do not know why He would spare such a great miracle for me, i havent done anything to deserve it.

Today on the way home I stopped in a church to pray a little and I was there for like 30 minutes praying by myself, I was starting to cry but then some elderly gentleman walked in so I stopped myself, I do not think he noticed.

I just want this to end so bad, I have a very serious disorder and that is the reason I am so depressed but it would take no less than an instantly-converting miracle for it to go away and there is nothing else I can do about it. I just wish I could kill myself to end this suffering but whatever would come next would be even worse.

I feel so wasteful cause I know I am smart and attractive but it means nothing to me and all of what I have been given ends up wasted cause I am too busy moping about something that no one can do anything about.

im sorry the post has no structure I just really needed to vent a little

Anonymous 81435

I’m probably gonna commit suicide by the end of this year or sometime next year, i still have a lot of things to do before i leave. I haven’t gotten my fill of a few things i didn’t get to do and after that, i’ll go. I’ve always had this sinking feeling since i was 14 or 15 that i won’t make it to 25, and i feel like my time is near, i can feel it strongly. I took meds, i did some therapy, But i still feel like i should be put to rest after putting in some work in my mental health to really make sure that i’m thinking straight. I’m really happy about this decision and content. I had hobbies and dreams but sometimes life is too shitty and the bad outweighs the good, i can’t ignore it anymore. Best case scenario, i’ll have another chance on the other side. worst case scenario, death is the end.

Anonymous 81436

> I think it was the fact that my "depression" was not that severe and clinical after all, else my body wouldn't have grasped at life so desperately.
Literally everyone who survives a suicide attempt says their immediate reaction after trying is fear and regret
Literally all of them
Even people who jump off buildings say their immediate reaction is regret
Don't assume your depression "isn't real" because even the most suicidal and emotionally ruined people feel what you felt
Same tbh
I've been depressed and mentally ill as a child and I'm that way now
I will never get better
Plus I'm ugly as sin and dumber than a rock
Like I don't even have positive traits to outweigh my mental illness
And I'm ugly
God, i hate being ugly
I am just going to keep drinking (I'm drunk as I write this) and in a month or two check out for good

Anonymous 81467

at least you have alcohol. I’m gonna have to suffocate completely sober… dreading the thought of it but i have to do it eventually. Fuck this misogynistic shitty fucking hateful disgusting mentally ill narcissist ridden cock worshipping faggot clown world

Anonymous 81737

Is this the thread for me, if I’m not actively suicidal, but know that I’m going to kms once I reach a certain age?

Anonymous 81741

It’s not FOMO. It’s just that I’m in a wheelchair and have dyscalculia, so my financial independence is nonexistent. Once I hit 30, I’m going to end things. There’s no point in living old, when I’m this lonely and poor. Especially poor.

Anonymous 81742

I feel like there was no reason for me to live past the age of 18. It was all over once I became an adult. There's no place for me in this world.

Anonymous 81752

Don't let them win.

Anonymous 81755

Too late they fucking broke me lmao. You ladies take it from here

Anonymous 81760

My mind goes blank when people (recruiters) ask me where i imagine i'll be in 5 years. I genuienly cannot imagine myself as a 27/28/29/30+ year old. That doesn't necessarily mean I'm suicidal, i think.
Where I come from and grew up, I've been conditioned to think that marriage and babies are inevitable. There was never a question of whether I'll get either. It's a firm conviction (based on my mother's life model) that some time in my late 20's, I'll meet the one and fall into the mundane shlock that every mediocre human partakes in (home hunting, home furnishing, fertility treatments, babies, trust funds, savings, yearly trips to [insert visa free med country here]).
What's amazing is that I had such elaborate plans & aspirations for my early 20's, which all didn't live to see the light of day (generally due to my own ineptitude), but the model of late 20's that i'm supposed to somehow follow makes my skin crawl. I do want to be loved and to find my person. I do eventually make little people (it's a selfish intent), but i so wanted to do something important and given that your early 20's are supposed to be when you lay the foundation for that important thing, i feel like i messed up on a schedule or something

Anonymous 82982

u wil lalwyas have Freinds : )

Anonymous 82995

It's not even about guilt for me, it's that they won't understand anything. It's like they live in a different dimension where they couldn't even fathom why I would ever have such thoughts in my head. And it feels so isolating that they are physically close yet so further away mentally.

Anonymous 83037

I’ve got new pills and I’m very tempted to just take them all now. If only I could be alone for 5 minutes.

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