/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>80058
i don't think you were rejected, i think you're just underage

>>80058
Your crush sounds like a loser

Sounds like he figured out you like him and tried to take advantage of it. or was just desperate and was trying his luck.

Block and delete.

>>80058
that doesn't sound like a rejection at all

>New guy starts work at my job
>He has virtually every physical feature I find attractive
>Tall, thin, muscle-less, pale, bad posture, glasses
>I start dreaming about him regularly
>Find out he has a reputation for being a dateless loser (much like myself)
>Crushes are rare for me, I get painfully infatuated with this guy
>Try to play it cool
>Find out through someone else that he knew I was into him and did not reciprocate at all

I have been working very hard on getting over him for months but he's still so beautiful.

>>80400
>did not reciprocate at all
Fuck, my heart dropped for you. Well, he can remain a dateless loser then.

I have several, but this one has a nice ending I think.
>see guy around uni
>my type at the time
>become weirdly fixated on this stranger, hoping to run into him at a specific shop I see he likes or any event I attend
>cannot stress how often he crossed my mind
>next semester
>have to join a class at the last minute and HE SHOWS UP
>engineer it so I sit next to him and we will be forced to talk
>do project together, begin to become friends and get coffee regularly
>he's a bit different than expected, but I'm still obsessed
>confess and get rejected
>best thing he could have ever done
>after a break to recover, become closer that summer
>following year and a half spent getting to know him as my friend
>watch him at his worst, see his potential best, witness his growth
>allow him to be a person who knows me better than almost anyone (one of two)
>share details that I'd only hoped to know just two years ago
>after a gap in communication because I dated someone and still had to work through feelings, regain contact
>feels like a comfy house
>strong platonic love for him that likely beats whatever romance with this man would be like
I'm a better person for staying his friend. It hasn't always been the best but I'm grateful since there are things I wouldn't have learned about myself had things gone differently. It also taught me that human relationships (and people) aren't as clean and controlled as my spergy brain had thought those years ago.

Maybe on some level I think I was drawn to him to such an unprecedented extent because I was fated to meet him to grow. There are other weird details I left out but…idk. I'm just sentimental.

>>80400
i'll tell you a method that worked for multiple of my friends.

pretend you're not attracted to him anymore.
talk with another co-worker about how you're very into a guy at your gym/hobby place/cafeteria or whatever, and make sure this info gets to him someway. don't be too giggly and obvious though or it will just hurt your chances more because he will understand you're trying to make him jealous. be as natural as possible.
act smiley when looking at your phone, show a picture of some random model to your co-worker being like "isn't he cute? found this on his insta profile". pick a low-level, not overly fake and too attractive of a model ofc. be ready to come up with a smooth excuse if your colleague asks to see more or his contact.
all of these instances (and more you can come up with) can't happen in a single day. a couple of weeks to pull them all out will suffice.
this will be a blow to his ego, he will start to wonder why you're not focusing on him anymore and now like another guy, and it will trigger the classic moid competition response.
be mindful of how you behave around him. don't change. don't get cold, don't fake happiness, or pretend you've moved on.
of course, if you stole glances at him a lot, tried to find excuses to talk with him and so on, that needs to go. you need to be yourself, with a neutrality twist now.

now you have his attention, but this is not enough, especially not for a moid who is the loser type and is used to rejection and low self confidence.
this will make him wonder, but not approach you or develop an interest.
this is where you need to work on yourself, inwards and outwards.
keep in mind that moids love to conceptualize women in stereotypes they learn from stuff like porn, anime and even just talking with other scrotes. archetypes are comforting and attractive to them.
so try to find your own style that fits a niche. are you tall and modelesque? are you petite and cute? or a cool girl next door?
find what works best with your appearance and embody that in your style and attitude. there are many other options to choose from.
even if you're not his "type", that is okay. men are fickle when pussy is involved and anything can be attractive to them.

don't forget the looksmaxxing. pick dresses that flatter your body type, get your hair and eyebrows done if you haven't yet, in a way that fits your features. dont be afraid of making a complete revamp too by changing hair color if it fits the image you're portraying better.
use natural make-up, just a little bit. make sure your every make-up choice makes sense in the context of all your facial features. it makes a world of difference.
i can write more on this if anyone finds it useful or interesting.
but this is loosely what worked for people i know.

this glow-up cant happen all at once or it will be weird by the way. start slow. you will also feel more confident and happy and probably catch the attention of other guys as well. this will make him think things with the guy you have a "crush" on are going well, and add to the play and his jealousy.
after you have him hooked a new phase begins but it doesnt require the same effort at all.
good luck anonette <3

>>80410
>moids love to conceptualize women in stereotypes … blah blah blah.

Are you not doing the same thing? It sounds like your entire manipulation scheme is as a whole tied to the idea of the guy exhibiting extremely predictable behaviors based on your predefined archetype.

>>80406
it was a blow when I found out but I don't think I'd have much in common with him. We never clicked when we made conversation, and I found out later when he gets drunk he tends to go on misogynistic rants. He's just genuinely one of the prettiest men I've ever seen in my life, and in exactly the kind of weird, big-nosed way I like

>>80410
I appreciate the advice, but if he's not into me just based on my actual qualities he's not gonna be a good match for me. I have already lost so much time and energy in my life chasing after dick. Now that I really see men for what they are, I would rather swallow glass than put that much effort into getting one's attention (no matter how heart-stoppingly beautiful he is.)


I ended up propositioning a close guy friend for casual sex a couple weeks back and that's been fantastic - we talked through some ground rules and stuck with them. Now I'm getting great sex with someone I'm already comfortable with and there's zero drama involved. So I think everything worked out for the best

I've been rejected lots of times, but i'll give my most recent

> Be me, 19 and at uni
> Crush on best friend, she tells me she feels the same way
> We sext & Things progress from there
> I ask her to be my girlfriend
> She says no. I don't take it to heart
> She then tells me she would like to stop sexting, and going back to being friends.

I don't see a problem with this, and i agree

> She then tells me she's asexual and does not see a future with me.

> She then proceeds to call me sick, and says she wants nothing to do with me

I basically turned a girl asexual, and she went apeshit bc i grossed her out by liking her. crazy right

>>80442
She’s kinda uh weird, I’d say

>>80432
She is right though. Just because she might be doing the same thing, which doesn't seem like so from her post imo, it doesn't take away from the fact men actually do that and you know it.

>>80600
Stereotypes exist for a reason and I understand this, but I'm just not a personal fan of black and white, all or none, style judgments. It makes the world feel empty to me and I don't want to accept looking at people that way.

>>80058
I'm late to this, so this is probably moot to respond to, but he likes you, he's just really bad at flirting and escalated beyond the level of intimacy you two have.
Keep talking to him and try to work things out when there's any misunderstandings or disagreements. I can't guarantee he's good bf material, but he most certainly in fact did not reject you. He likes you.

>>80410
>even if you're not his "type", that is okay. men are fickle when pussy is involved and anything can be attractive to them
Sounds like a recipe for him having post-clarity, and her feeling used and worse off than before.
Don't try and get men to think with their dicks, that never ends well.
You have to get them to think with their hearts.
Moids love to feel needed, ask for his help, simple things like reaching things in high places, or how to change your lawn mower oil.
The more stereotypical the better, they want to feel like they can do something for you that only they could.
You also need to give him rewards, train his moid brain, bake him something or offer to fix a button on one of his shirts or something.
Hell start having feelings for you once he warms up to you and gets to know you better, don't scare him off now.
Next you drop bread crumbs, wear a loose shirt or short shorts around him, something that looks nice, but feels casual so he thinks you've let your guard down around him, this can backfire of you use the word friend around him, don't do that. Hell associate you with the friend zone.
Don't wear a bra around him, that should get his attention, but only do that after he's become more friendly with you, don't start with sexual seduction.

>>80615
And how far has that gotten you?
Tell us your success stories.
Or alternatively, your failures so we may learn from them.

>>80984
Success or failure with what? It's just a matter of opinion and outlook. I simply wish to evaluate everyone on an individual basis because I find it more satisfying. If I believed I could group everyone into separate segments and predict all thier behaviors, what reason would I have to interact with them at all in the first place? What would be the point of knowing anyone?

>meet a guy at work
>he's older, more accomplished
>nice to everyone, very polite
>extremely caring and friendly to me
>always treats me with respect I've never received from any other man
>crush hard
>hear he's single
>flirt a little
>he's completely oblivious which makes me like him even more
>go to Friday drinks with him and coworkers
>be very flirty with him all night
>touching and get cozy in a corner with him
>wait until we're alone
>ask if he wants to have a drink somewhere else
>seems confused for a moment
>softly informs me he has a girlfriend and 2 kids
>go home and cry

I can still see and hear the moment of utter confusion as I ran my fingers along his hand and then the soft and so pitying "Oh, oh nooo…" and it makes me feel sick with embarrassment.

>>81533
at least it wasn't actual rejection because he doesn't like you though. that's not so bad. for future reference you should probably always hear from them that they're single though before making a move. how much older is he?

>>81534
7 or 8 years, I think. I'm too scared to look him up now.

I got 2 rejections in a week, now I am drinking everyday just because

> Know this guy at Uni, very nice
> He is a post doc and I am still grad (because I am a loser)
> Look at his hands, no ring
> Look at his socials, don't seem to have a gf
> He's got a clean look: not beautiful but clean, well dressed.
> Give it a try into talking to him thought a social media
> Ghosts me

I won't tell the other one because I'll cry. I just feel like pure shit.

>>82451
Aw anon, rejection is really hard. I think you’re really brave for putting yourself out there twice in one week. It’s okay to be sad, but you should also really be proud of yourself for trying!
>>82454
Literally what is the point of saying this. Being mean to random women on the internet isn’t going to get you laid. Are you just jealous because anon approached some guy she was attracted to while you’ve never been approached by anyone in your life?

>>82454
What's wrong with you? What do you get out of saying this? Kill yourself

>>82454
Oh no, manless life
Maybe even childless (faints)

>>82464
Why do moids get so upset and triggered by the idea that women can quite happily live without a man cohabiting with us (and kids for that matter)

>>82546
misogyny and aggrieved entitlement. A man that gets triggered over it failed the litmus test for whether or not a woman should at all interact with him.

Unironically: a lot of misogynists act like men are some sort of creepy hivemind.
And, many are uncomfortable with a woman exhibiting any sense of humanity or agency.
They like to exert control and decisiveness over a woman based off a few words.

It's like a guy that insults a woman that rejects him "whore." Whore implies she was easy and already thoroughly accessed to men in general. Therefore, he has 0 reason to think she had little rational reason to reject him even though "whore" implies she'd say yes to every single random man.

I even experienced this insult from a distant family member after I defended his younger brother from his abuse…even though I had never even touched a man before…while this creep had…quite a history.

The child thing also partially happens because having a child and caring for it is basically endless wealth and labor expended. Of course people have an agenda to bully women that choose not to do it even if only some women feel strongly about wanting kids. A lot of men also devalue women when they have a child, but it's also a sign she has succumbed to a man so obviously misogynists still talk about how women should be a mother. Duh.

So yeah. I advise you to opt out of it whenever you see this "haha, you'll die alone" shit around or whatever.
It's basically a misogynist who wants to make a woman more accessible to men or belittle her. Don't underestimate the one-liners shilled by them and pretty much optimized accordingly to what will make them feel like they are superior to someone.

>Be me
>Grow attached with girl I go to a school club with after hanging out with her a lot
>Think she’s flirting with me, but don’t do anything because she has a boyfriend
>She eventually cheats on her boyfriend with another guy in the club which causes drama between the two of us because I felt betrayed
>Month goes by and our relationship has gotten better but I don’t know how she feels about me
>She took me out for drinks once at a sports bar, just the two of us
>COINCIDENTALLY showed up to a night club I was at when she heard from a friend that I would be going with him
>Is still in a relationship with her boyfriend in both scenarios
>Weeks go by and I text her on SnapChat at least once a day since I thought she wanted to keep the best friend perk (I’m retarded and don’t know how SnapChat worked)
>Eventually she got annoyed after I asked her if she ever considered that she might be autistic and she got mad
>Later texted me that she’s too invested in me and will only respond to me if it’s something important
>One night we’re out with friends at a night club and I tell her that I’d kill myself if I ever made her cry, and she calls me weird and hugs me
>Later in the summer I ghost her for three weeks and she reached out to me three times asking if I was okay
>One day I respond, she says that she can’t talk right now because she’s going on vacation for three days and doesn’t respond for two weeks
>I text her saying that I can’t be around her because I’m into her and she has a boyfriend. I tell her that I want someone I can be happy with and I can’t have that if I’m spending time with you thinking I have a shot.
>She says okay, that she’s glad I’m okay, and that the distance is healthy.
>Later our club tries to get me kicked out of our club, some of it regarding my past drama with her, and I go to her since no one else will talk to me.
>She responds and we talk about it for a bit, but says that she’s done with the drama and is on no one’s side, so she won’t be my lawyer or whatever.
>Last time we texted each other was a few days ago with her saying that I’m acting paranoid that the exec board is going to accuse me of sexual assault because I didn’t do anything like that.
So what’s the status with me and this girl? Because I’m really attached to her and want to know my options.

>>80410
What’s the new phase? Really interesting read

>>80058
>message crush “when we gonna hangout” cause I get a little bit of courage
>responds “I don’t know” and looked kinda weirded out
>yikkkkeeesss ha ha ha :/
He snaps me back, sometimes even fast but he hardly ever says anything and sometimes he says absolutely nothing. I asked him if I was bothering him and he said no, but I really don’t know

Gf dumped me.

Her: I'm answering this once and that's it. Don't add this to ur "why im sad" list, just realize ur making this a bigger deal than it is. Soon i'll never see u again

You irritate me for all the stupid questions asked, the way you conduct urself in private and public places, and u use people's kindness to annoy the shit out of them

Now bye. Good luck with ur problems cause ur a mess and need to fix that!

Me: I’m sorry you feel the way you do. I don’t really know what instances apply to the grievances you listed, and it seems like you’re the one with the “why I’m so sad list.”

I didn’t leave the chat specifically because of you, but because of depression and didn’t feel that I could communicate with the other members appropriately, which included you. I didn’t want the other members to know about that so I kept it vague because it really isn’t their business, and they acted like babies because of it.

I would’ve been down to set up boundaries on what to talk about, but it looks like I must have intimidated you.

Regardless, I think I needed to hear what you said and for this to happen, honestly. Thanks for the wake up call, you were a fun time. Have a nice life.

So the relationship can never recover right? Or will she reach back to me eventually? She’s an Aquarius and I’m a Sagittarius if that matters.

>>83598
Idk wtf is going om there, what did you actually do? She sounds really mean and nasty for talking to you that way durimg a break up unless you really did something.
>So the relationship can never recover right?
You provided 2 texts without much context to what went on in your whole relationship. How do you think anyone could tell that?
When you've broken up with someone your best bet is always just to move on and act like you could never get back together.
>She’s an Aquarius and I’m a Sagittarius if that matters.
It doesn't. You're cringe.

>>83598
Don't edate nona online relationships aren't real

>>80994
Online, people seem to be much more prone to adopting behaviours and opinions memetically than in real life. The anons you're responding to are likely terminally online. It's simply recognising a meaningless abstract pattern and building an illogical framework around it.

>try to make plans with crush
>he says “yes ofc”
>say it’s a date, instead of it’s a plan
Wish me luck

>>83598
>She’s an Aquarius and I’m a Sagittarius if that matters.

You're better off without her, nona. Sign mixing is degenerate.

>>84823
how did it go?

this dude just fucking hates me. i keep saying shit that accidentally offends him because i'm retarded.

i've reached terminal femcel levels too. i found a cologne that smells like him and i put it on my teddy bear. it was like $70 too. i'm so creepy, even if we did start dating he'd prob find out how obsessive i was and leave.

limerence gang.

>>85050
Lmao nice one anonette. I am indeed a tourist and i must say this board is the best for experiencing second hand soul destruction.

Anyways, toodloo

>>88083
>i found a cologne that smells like him and i put it on my teddy bear. it was like $70 too
based

>>80058
>cute, clever moid on my university course
>weird, but not in an incel loser kind of way
>we share a lot of classes
>always sit next to each other and have good chemistry
>laughs at my dumb spergy jokes
>always catch him glancing at me
>even sometimes comes into rooms where i'm sitting alone before classes to talk to me
>then randomly acts more distant and cold later in the day
>takes literal months to reply to any texts, don't even bother trying to interact outside of classes anymore
>literally told him i'd sleep over at his house
>"haha sorry i'm busy"
>never hangs out with me after seminars or at any other time, just runs away to do 'work' or meet friends despite us walking out of them together almost all the time
I swear I'm going to become a nun I can't take this anymore. What's wrong with them?

>>88820
I been at the other end of those interactions. I have ghosted them.

>>88822
Nona…. the world needs more cute romance.

>>88820
>literal months
That ship has sailed, nona. He probably already has someone else, or at least someone he's interested in.

>>88820
Don't worry Natsuhi I'll marry you

>>80058
I haven't been rejected by a crush since I was like 13. It's literally not worth my time or energy as an attractive woman to be interested in someone who's not interested in me.

>crush gives me his number
>messages me about other girl
>reply’s to me ”women right”
I am gonna go off myself now

Block him nona

Well there's no rejection story but…

>Takes ages to text back
>I'm always carrying the conversations, doesn't seem to care to getting know me
>Never wants to hang out with me alone

Guess it's time to take the L once again and just move on.

>>91986
I know this feel too.

>>91986
Going through it right now. It started just fine though! The interest seemed mutual at the beginning. Or maybe I was delusional the whole time. But it's clear to me now that he is avoiding me more and more.

>crushing on a friend from uni
>had a blog i wrote about him (cringe i know) and he visited a lot because i had a counter and he only visited when he came back to his hometown
>gave subtle hints on my msn messenger status message
>finally got the courage and confessed by email kek
>'nope, let's be just friends'
>i overcame my feelings and we became best friends
>he disappears to finish his degree elsewhere and troons out
>stopped talking to him because he discovered i peaked and was mad

this was 13 years ago but i still miss that moid

>>95441
That was fricking brutal. Sorry nona.

>>80410
This is the weirdest shit I have ever read. If a moid doesn't like you then it's over.
Unless the moid you're trying to attract is a literal ape that wants to get you as a "prize" for beating another man, he won't give 2 shits if you claim to like another man. If anything that ends your quest to get him then and there.
If you do get him on a hook then that shows that he's a shitty insecure person.
My best advice is to mirror him. Does he wear hoodies? Switch up your clothing to something comfy. Is he into nerdy stuff? Talk to him about rockets or idk.
You want to be his "ideal gf."
In reality this is just compensating because men look at your face, butt, and boobs and then decide.
If your tits aren't big enough then he will cheat.

>>95442
>>95445
Thank you nonas. No worries though, I just miss our friendship because I'm a loner and he was the closest I had to a best friend in my whole life.

>>81533
He could have saved you the embarrassment by putting a ring on his finger.

>>80058
>be me
>have a crush on a girl
>have classes in common
>befriend her
>find out she likes me back
>flirting for 3-ish months
>meet at a party and stay together for a little over an hour
>she ghosts
>i text first for weeks, with very dry responses
>she takes me off her account
>i give up

wtf do i do?? we still have classes together and it feels so awkward,,, especially since i haven't done anything to her

>>97797
Nona, i know it feels bad but her actions make it pretty clear that she just doesn't feel as strongly. Maybe her feelings changed over those three months. Either way, the fact that she isn't mature enough to just be upfront with you is pretty telling. You deserve better

>>97803
mannn :/ she makes me feel so disgusting,,, i can't handle seeing her face but i can't look away. :( fml

I have femcel ptsd. I’m so scared to ever ask a friend to “put me on”. I’m not obese (actually underweight) and I don’t have facial disfigurations or terrible acne. I don’t smell bad. I’ve been complimented on my perfumes and outfits. I genuinely can’t tell if my looks have improved in the past couple of years or not.

I now have a crush on a guy and he’s wonderful. I think being rejected by a good person is actually way worse. He “technically” has not rejected me yet but it really hurts to feel unwanted and unclaimed. And I don’t understand what makes me so terrible. I’ve tried to let him know I like him without being so bothersome. Sometimes, I feel bad to develop crushes on guys because I’m so ugly.

>>80410
>don't be too giggly and obvious though or it will just hurt your chances more because he will understand you're trying to make him jealous.
Moids are not this smart.

>>97872
they definitely arent, but they do have big egos. men will almost always automatically assume you as a woman like them if you as much as happen to look their way.

People are allowed to choose whether or not they want to be with me and that says nothing about me, right? Because attraction can not be controlled. I know this but I'm just my eating disorder is relapsing. I wonder if I were fitter, more guys (including my crush) would be into me. I don't know what type of girls he's into. I saw him talking to some blonde once. I'm the opposite of that so he probably wouldn't be interested in me, anyways. And that's alright. It might just take me some time to get over this one.

I know that my eating disorder has twisted my self image. I really need to stop comparing myself to girls I find on the internet. It's just painful to think that he might be more attracted to another girl over me. I've recently had other guys hitting on me but I wanted him. I only develop crushes on like 2 guys a year. There's something painful about liking someone not for vain reasons but for their actual character and personality; to be rejected by what would be considered a good guy. Someone kind, respectful, & humble. I still haven't cried this one out. It might take a while for the tears to pour but I just want it come so I can move past this.