/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>92412
What happens when you have a roided moid? Increased violence and domestic abuse?
Obvious ones but…
>watches porn
>social media to ogle at women
>nothing is ever his fault, doesn’t take accountability, victimization complex
>AVPD
>CPTSD
>BPD
>basically if mentally ill, red flag. No ones gonna fix your issues for you. Fix them yourself before you try to date
>50/50 on bills
>makes misogynistic jokes or comments about women, even if joking
>views men better than women

>>92413
they become very unpredictable and they either get really horny or it doesnt go up and yes it does shrink their dick

This is a silly one but I’ve never met a guy named Justin or Dylan who wasn’t fucking insane.

>>92412
>plays total war or paradox games
b-but I do that

for me its:
>film buff
>bipolar disorder
>terrible relationship with mother or sister

>>92413
>views men better than women
all men are like this. if they say otherwise they are lying.

>>92413
Whats wrong with 50/50 bills?

>>92412
Aggression and manipulative tendencies.

When someone is snappy without a hint of guilt. We are not teenagers, you have a personality disorder

>>92413
>50/50 on bills
Nona you have daltonism.

>bad relationship with parents
>paints his exes as crazy and unreasonable caricatures
>challenges people's needs for his wants
>raises his voice or shuts down in conflicts
>insecure about admitting he doesn't know something
>trouble apologizing or admitting he's wrong
God damn I just want to meet one (1) young man who isn't immature and self-serving and whose approach to dating doesn't revolve around hiding being immature and self-serving until he feels you're sufficiently trapped

>>92955
What are you saying with the needs and wants bit? I'm not understanding.

>>92955
>bad relationship with parents
Disagree, it can be a good sign. Depends how toxic those parents are

>"gamer"
>anime (probably a coomer into girls who look underage and/or has asian fetish)
>disrespects his mother
>into superhero shit
>collects funko pops or similar
>"male feminist"
>adds/interacts with e-thots on socials (obviously)

My entire high school experience tried to brainwash me into thinking I was supposed to be into "nerds" but guess what I'm not and anybody who is self-described into "nerd culture" is a giant red flag!

>>93044
>anime
With the way most animes are (poor storylines with shoehorned sexual situations, depthless characters), I don't understand how an adult can find anime mentally stimulating. And I even like some animes myself.

>>92431
If a man plays paradox games he probably had a Nazi phase. If a woman plays paradox games it means she's cool.

Honestly it's easier to ask for what count as green flags in a relationship, because almost everything about 99% of males is a red flag

there are no males that don't display red flags in 2022 because every single on of them has access to technology.

Wants to make me contribute to HIS mortgage. I'm fine with 50/50 bills but I'm not paying rent to my partner. My ex wanted draw up a fucking lodger contract for me when we were discussing me moving in, I obviously refused and dumped his sorry ass shortly after. It wasn't the only thing but it was so consistent with everything else he did and it still makes me so mad.

>Talks over you constantly
>Won't stop flexing and stfu about his sex life. Had one brag about how many girls he's made cum. He couldn't make me cum even once. It's clearly overcompensating behavior.
>Oversharing when you still barely know him
>Admits to having been right-wing/incel and a Asian fetishist
>Stands too close to you
>Keeps staring at you when talking
>Seems to have only extremely cringe, far-left friends. These friends naturally have no autonomous thinking of their own and exist to only ass-pat him.
>Unironically wears a "Please be patient I have autism" hat in public. (True story)

Coincidentally most of these apply to troons I have been friends with, before I peaked.

almost forgot one
>fat
I hate fat men, I often find them to be some of the worst but justify their shitty behavior on being fat also their fucking ugly, I hate the constant shilling on "dad bods"

I'm part of some strange subcultures and I have niche hobbies. I refuse to date men who share similar interests. My boyfriend needs to be a normie

Anyone who makes their sense of humor being an asshole. Way too many guys out there will say something legitimate cruel and then be like
>hurr durr can’t you take a joke
I hate people like this, not worthy to be friends with either.

>>93170
>Unironically wears a "Please be patient I have autism" hat in public. (True story)
Can you tell me more? Asking for a friend

Simple
>follows a semitic faith
>male feminist
>whines about any woke subject
>is easily outraged
>is political online
>complains about women, especially regarding the date of the males they date
>fat
>no financial responsibility
>unkempt
>mental illnesses (except light autism or ADHD)
>whiny
>acts like a baby wanting his mommy
>gives in to peer pressure

>>93302
*race of the males they date
This is a huge redflag

>>93302
i follow a semitic faith and i agree with you. religious men are unhinged.

>>93301

It was basically a creepy friend of one of my previous roommates who didn't even try to hide his simping for me. We ended up exchanging numbers and he wouldn't stop texting me (Another red flag btw). Back then, like an autist myself, I kept engaging platonically even guys it clearly created misunderstandings with.

This guy must have been simping because he thought I could be his IRL weeb waifu:

>invited him to check out my room one time
>sees my anime figurines
>whispers "you're amazing" under his breath

After hanging out with me, him, and roomate one time he had decided to text me asking why I wasn't wearing a bra. It's made uncomfortable to go braless in public ever since.

>>92412
In no particular order:
>>Lives with their parents
>>Highly religious
>>Socks and Sandals
>>Active Reddit Account
>>One Pillow and a Hospital Blanket (no real bedding)
>>Taking phone in the bathroom and every time
>>24 digit passcode to their phone
>>lives with their ex girlfriend
>>plays league
>>into lolishit
>>Whines about being circumcised

This are just general red flags but some you do need to watch out for
>watches porn of any kind
>follows male podcasts or any masculinity influenecers like andrew tate
>refers to women as females
>defends tory lanez or johnny depp or any abuser
>uses reddit
>owns a pitbull or a pug
>follows insta or onlyfans models
>insults women of their own ethnicity
>uses steroids
>believes in 50/50
>hates cats
>has many "female friends"
>atheist, very scientical "trust the science" type
>"I just want something casual"
>pushing sex too soon
>if he has many kids from previous relationships especially if he's under 30 (this is more like a black flag, run girl run!)
>no effort and doesn't appreciate small gestures
>has a history of cheating
>actively rates women from 1 to 10
>overprotective of his phone
>too many previous partners (4 is my top)
>fundamentalists of any kind
>a cop or military man

Aside from the obvious red flags:

>Has friends who cheated on their partner
or
>Has friends that are problematic in other ways
It's like show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are. If you aren't okay with other people's behavior you wouldn't keep them as friends.
>Doesn't keep his place clean when you come over
>Spends money on status symbols
>Frequently talking bad about other people or groups of people
>Drinks alcohol more often than every other week, smokes or consumes sugar in excessive amounts

>>93339
>Owns a pug
Okay, you got me. Why is the pug a red flag?

>plays league or overwatch
Nothing is wrong with these games in particular but they're just played by toxic moids
>Cargo shorts
>Always thinks their hair looks bad
>Complains about job while refusing and laughing off suggestions to up their career
>Complains about the tiniest inconvenience
>Calls themselves an assman or boobman
I love a guy that can appreciate my ass or boobs but the labels are so autistic and they're usually going to be ultra obsessed with comparing the feature to other women's or nitpicking it
>Never shuts up about ex and then claims you're immature if it bothers you or gaslights you about it
>Makes excuses for their life choices when they can be better if given the opportunity
>Is a "shoulder to cry on" for other girls
There's nothing wrong with this in specific situations like long term childhood friends or family, but most moids can't find boundaries when it comes to emotions

>>93380
i'm literally the female version of this

he doesn't cook and clean
half joking with myself I might have to get fucking divorced over this lmao but I dug my own grave by ignoring it for so long

>>93383
Same here. Some of those red flags describe me. Welp.

>>93383
>>93395
Sorry guys lol. I always thought red flags were "warnings" type deal that doesn't necessarily mean the person is bad but you should be more cautious and aware, where as someone being blantantly abusive was just them abusive and you dont need a flag to tell they're abusive

>>93380
>Complains about job while refusing and laughing off suggestions to up their career
Extend this to any sort of unwillingness to improve their situation

>lying, even about harmless things or in an attempt to look better. it signals something more sinister like cluster b/dark triad personalities
>non-apology apologies / apologizes but does it again
>never takes the first step to make up because "not muh fault"
>starts fights only through texts
>dares you to end the relationship after a few weeks/months (to test if they can get away with it)
>overshares too early (lovebombing + sob stories to look like a victim so you're less likely to "abandon them")
>anounces they're X without prompt
men who present themselves as eunuchs are degenerate porn addicts, people who announce how open to criticism and how caring they are are tyrants, etc
>never says anything good about others, constantly criticizes them
>is embarrassingly silent and uncooperative in groups so people don't try to talk to you anymore when you're with them
>"you don't need other friends than me"
>litters
>all of their "morals" are especially convenient to them
>sighs at you/rolls their eyes because of something you said (too cowardly to say anything but tries to shame you anyway)
>doesn't like fiction, unable to understand themes or to identify to any character
this is a big one for me. media shape us and if someone has no insight about what they've consumed nor any attachment to stories they're probably a pitiful, hollow subhuman devoid of sentience and empathy.

>>93339
>insults women of their own ethnicity
this type is especially disgusting, makes my stomach churn

>>93692
>overshares too early (lovebombing + sob stories to look like a victim so you're less likely to "abandon them")
This is so true. If someone does this, just block their number and avoid them at all costs. It's not worth it, people who do this are usually completely nuts.

>>93338
>>24 digit passcode to their phone
This one seems highly specific

>turns everything into a moral crusade even at the expense of enjoying life

I think this is my dad. I can't talk normally to him, because he often leaves the topic, picks only one world from it and start 1 hour lecturing about how is the world degenrated today and every single thing sucks. But this came with age, I don't remember him being like this when I was small.
It is very hard.

>>93737
I knew a girl who dated a guy who had one. (He ended up bringing arrested later), so yes it’s a anecdotal one. Kek
Here’s some more
>>Comments on what you eat
>>Comments on your feet size or toe length
>>Talks about eating ass
>>Shorties have height complexes in men if you’re taller than them.
>>Bartenders are drunks and man whores don’t take the party home
>>unkempt nails
>>greasy hair
>>long beards

>>93082
in my experience if someone has had a nazi phase in their teenage years, there is a big chance they become left leaning (or further) adults. i used to be a polfag at 14 playing paradox games, now it has radicalized me into fantasizing about punching faschists.

>>94505
That’s a red flag even in women. Violence and extremism of either kind is a huge no no

>>94505
Funny because the opposite also happens a lot.

>>92955
>>bad relationship with parents
I get how this is objectively a bad sign but it's important to be a bit moderate and sympathetic here. This idea that if an adult child has a conflict with their parents they're literally always in the wrong is very destructive.

>>94534
I'm curious, why? You can certainly hurt your face without being in violent altercations. I tore my lower lip in half with my teeth in a accident when I was little.

>>94546
>violent altercations.
there's your answer, you can clearly see that i was alluding to men who signal that they are dangerous/get involved in stupid shit, gang affiliated or mentally unstable and not people who get injured by accident. I live in a very bad neighborhood nona.

>>94555
>bi women aged 25+ with next to no same sex experience
I was going to dispute with "but what if she has no sexual experience with men either" but I realized that's still a red flag.
Virgin loser febfem dating app when?

>>92412
>Jordan pooperson fan
> justifies Andrew tate
> discord & reddit mod/user
> p4rn addict but hates vehemently p4rnstars
being ana addict is bad enough, but to hate the women you contribute to is so deranged

> mental illness & bad relationship with parents
> abusive childhood
I just want someone stable

>>94577
why are you censoring the word porn

>>94568
ayrt i'm not febfem anymore but was initially and didn't lose my virginity until my early 20s because of it. it's just harder to find women overall so if a potential partner didn't have experience with either sex i'd be able to empathise. it's mostly just women who've had 10 boyfriends but never done more than kiss another woman who make me uncertain.

>>94555
>bi women aged 25+ with next to no same sex experience
Interesting. I'm younger than 25 and have only had relationships with men (still not much to be fair). It's not that I would mind dating women but in addition to living in a pretty homophobic country and having a specific type that makes me mostly attracted to people like 10 years older than me at the very least would probably make it hard to find a wlw in her 30s who would be into a weird immature younger woman and would fit my type. In addition it seems to me that I don't have much of a chance with wlw because of me generally looking straight-passing and being petite, looking a lot younger than I actually am which seems to be the type of a look that only men are into. I guess I'll turn into a red flag when I'll reach 25 assuming I don't find a wlw-unicorn with whom we'll be into each other.

>>94609
if i'd said your flaming autism was a red flag instead would you have still sent me a similarly worded butthurt reply?

>>94643
I'm not actually angry and I'm sorry if it seems this way. This was absolutely unintentional. It's just that it's a bit funny how something I have little control over would be seen as a red flag but I don't actually mind it. Same with my autism.

>>94555
>>94588
I'm 25+ and I'd be open to a bi women who is inexperienced with women, it's only a red flag if she only wants to hook up but has long term relationships with men. Or is seeking a woman while dating a man (most disclose this, some don't in my experience). When I tried and failed to use apps, most of the bi women interested had boyfriends despite stating I'm not open to women currently in relationships. I don't like being used as a warm vibrator.

1. watches porn
2. really close relationship with his mother, like too close
3. speaks poorly about his exes
4. has next to no intuition (i.e., I don’t know what to buy you, what would you like) especially when you have made your likes etc clear
5. habitual dater on tinder or apps etc
6. hasn’t had any sort of long term relationship yet is older
7. really grubby / messy environment
8. poor hygiene
9. plays LoL religiously (never met a nice LoL guy who plays it consistently)
10. far too nice & complimentary & love bombing in the beginning
11. immediately wants to hook up
12. talks about people, very drama oriented

I have a whole book but that’s just some

>>94696
>2. really close relationship with his mother, like too close
This, and it needs to be talked about more. We mostly just hear concerns that people don't get along with their parents (for which there can be some damn good reasons), we should talk more about mama's boys. I've seen some bad cases IRL.

>>94754
I met an incredibly cute boy, went to his place to study sand saw him playfully spank his own mother in the kitchen. She responded with a giggle and "boys will be boys" sigh. I was out of there, not looking back ASAP.

>>94755
What the fuck? Even online I have barely ever heard of something like this, horrifying.

>>94755
I'm struggling to believe this is real because I don't want to believe one could just walk into such a nightmarish situation.

>Drug use of any sort including drimk
>Racist, or hateful toward other people in any similar manner

>>92957
>men can't go 50/50 on pregnancy can they?
Ok but he isn't obligated to see it that way until there's actually a pregnancy involved.

>>95650
So you want a straight-edge man who categorically swears off any sort of naughty indulgence, but one who is still completely tolerant of everyone else in a world where most other people choose to drink or do drugs, especially the special interest groups you have in mind. How do you see this working out? Where do you imagine he would get such a worldview from?

>>95654
I know at least 3 moids IRL who don't drink or do drugs for personal reasons, at least one of them isnt religious whatsoever. but all of them are tolerant of people who do. get offline and you'll find that while they're not common, they're not as rare as you think

My bf is so pure. Literally none of these things describe him. However he browses r9k daily. He's not an incel but to him it's just entertainment like sports is to some guys. Red flag? I do the same so honestly I can't judge.

>>95655
I've actually met some myself but they are rare and generally do have other issues. Not drinking at all is just kind of an odd trait, even if it's just correlational. A lot of these guys have some other addiction like video games or whatever.

>>95656
I'm not sure I know much about r9k (though i hear they're not all too fond of women) on the whole though I do know 4chan males tend to fall under two types; ironic shitposters and completely serious psychopaths. Take that how you will.

>>95656
I don't think it's a red flag in itself. You do have to admit that 4chan is entertaining. You quite literally cannot find the same type of content anywhere else on the internet.
Though I would pay attention to his friends who don't go on 4chan, the way they treat women, and the opinions they hold, because chances are he holds similar ones. And hopefully those opinions are that women are people and should be treated as such, because it's pretty obvious that a majority of the moids on 4chan don't think that.

>>95650
Not her but it's preferable to expect him to pay when you start dating. Not being cheap filters the fuckboys and narcissists who play several women at once.
Then if you go long term and don't want kids you can switch to 50/50

>>92412
>>95656
i mean i browse r9k and chill around incel spaces for that very reason. the cesspool is quite fun to dip in but you can't stay too long

>>92412
They/them pronouns. Always run away from the nb subhumans. They are narcissists

>Has any type of race fetish
I'm white but people often mistake me for Middle-Eastern and Middle Eastern women are so fetishized in my country it's insane.
>Makes fun of my style
I know I'm autistic with my interests so I don't mind small jokes about it but when moids tell me 'you'd look better like this and without this' I know they just say it for their own interest. It usually just means looking more normie anyway.
>Woketard
I'm not looking to be lectured by my own boyfriend about being more tolerant of trannies.

I hate a lot of things in men so let's just get list this over with:
>race fetish
Males are very dehumanizing when it comes to women. They get even MORE dehumanizing when they socialize with women of a different background because they equate the woman's beauty and value to her race, while 9 times out of 10 talking shit about the women in his own race. Just no. Males like this should be shamed into oblivion.
>pornography watching of any type
Self-explanatory. He's watching other women in an intimate way, and at that, he's getting off on them being degraded in such a way. Hell no, if he watches porn or even uses the lingo, I have got to go.
>talks shit about every single one of his exes/diagnoses exes with BPD
It's the same gist as a person complaining about meeting nothing but assholes. If everyone is an asshole, the problem is likely just you being an asshole yourself and thinking actual normal people are "stupid heads" for not getting your vibe. Plus, if a man supposedly dated nothing but BPDs, you have to wonder if he deliberately dates them to manipulate and abuse them even more. Men who do that are even worse than their "psychotic bitch" exes at that point.
>bleeding heart liberal who supports gutter trash ideologies like trannyism
A man having a heart is one trait, but it's another trait to be dumb enough to support transgenderism. If a man is the type of man to be okay with his child being manipulated into greatly misunderstanding who or what they are, that is not a man but rather a moron who can't be trusted to raise children properly.
>fat
I want to grow into a better, healthier person. A man who let his body go to waste and does nothing about it would not make a good partner to grow healthy with.
>bisexual
Man who likes dick in his butt can be my acquaintance, but never my lover. Therefore, I would not date a bisexual man. Am I being a little unfair with this one? Maybe but eh.
>bad hygiene or messy living space
Just like the fat. I'm trying to get my life together, not let it become a jungle. A man with toilet paper on the floor, a bloated gut, and smegma in his penis is a creature I wouldn't even touch with the tip of my pinky fingernail.
>breeding kink
A man who would find me lovely even after I give birth is really hot, but a man who would "pump me full of ten kids" and turn me into a "breeding machine" is not. You can find your wife sexy after she has kids, and that's NOT the same as the bastardized version of it.
>funko pops and dumb toys without sentimental value
Ew.
>loves anime
If a man is going to watch anime, it needs to be of substance (which means NO coomer-bait trash) and in small doses (no binge-watching).
>sex work
If a man supports sex work under the impression that it's "empowering", he might as well say he believes in human slavery if it's "yassified".
>avid Reddit user
No lol
>loves content like Filthy Frank
Every single person I met who loves Filthy Frank was always a retarded jackass who didn't know when to just shut up. Yeah, I went there!
>avid 4chan user
I'd rather not even be friends with a male if he goes to THAT place all the time. This goes for Twitter too. If he's always on Twitter, he likely cares too much about his own opinions about different things.
>getting attached to you quickly
If a man wants to date you after just a week of knowing you, or shares the most traumatic parts of his life before six months is up, just run. Run very fast and far.
>quick to anger
Self-explanatory
>religious people who are only religious in the name itself
Okay maybe not a red flag, but I met people like this. Catholics or Christians who say they believe in God and go on about how "open-hearted" they are, and proceed to act like immature assholes who you would never guess were Catholic or Christian. Why align yourself with religion if you're not going to practice it?? It feels attention-seeking at that point.

Now that I think about it, all of this can go for anyone; not just men.

>>96013
Ridiculously based post.
every single point you made is spot on.

You sound just like me :')

>>96001
>I'm white but people often mistake me for Middle-Eastern and Middle Eastern women are so fetishized in my country it's insane.

Are you from France or Belgium by any chance? I hate French moids they're so rapey and porn-addled it's insane.

>>96013
wth ur so on point we shouldve been irl friends its not fair your an anonymous internet user probably on the other side of the world as me D:

>>96013
>dumb toys without sentimental value
Thank God someone actually recognizes the difference between sentimentality and consumerism.

>>96017
I'm the anon you were replying to. If you wanna be friends, sure!

>>96016
Close! I'm from the Netherlands, it's not a bad place to live but the men.. But that's everywhere lol

>>96030
Ever since the Syrian war so many European scrotes have fetishes of raping and degrading middle eastern women especially refugee girls and they produced a ton of p0rn with this fantasy.

It’s so fucking scary and sad. A friend of mine who is a refugee from Iraq living in Belgium got disgusting messages on Linked-In from a Belgian scrote explicitly mentioning her ethnicity and what he’d like to do to her after a night out.

Euro-scrotes, not even once.

>>96034
Ew what the fuck, I'm sorry your friend has to go through that.

Would it be weird to reply to this as a lesbian

>>96165
no lol. i'm curious

>>96166
>messy hair
Even worse if it’s an unnatural color
>puts hello kitty on everything
Sanrio is cute but the people who make it part of their aesthetic (either online or in person) are usually annoying
>talks about exes a lot
Self explanatory
>lovebombing me even though we first met
Like you barely know me. Just talk to me.
>seriously vents all the fucking time especially if we dont know each other that well
I hate people who dont have boundaries
>likes those weird lesbian frog/fairy/possum memes
It just has strikes me the same way as the sanrio thing
>says “i hate men, im thinking about becoming a full on lesbian” if theyre bi
Self explanatory
>posts those dumbass parody facebook memes
I dont know how to explain it but those posts make me want to reel
>constantly talking about things that are problematic or politics
Self explanatory
>pretty active on twitter
Theyre probably the thing I said above

>>96168
literally me minus the sanrio and twitter parts

>>96169
Lmfao same except the lovebombing

>>93339
Would you prefer he smack talks women of other races even your own?

>>96581
Why does he have to disparage any woman of any race?

>>92412
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>>92413
I heckin love steroid :)

>Tater tots/Madonna Whore complex
Men who have these beliefs are unmarried manchildren or their wives secretly hate him. An intelligent, empathetic well adjusted man does not think like this
>Follows ig models
>Watches hentai/porn
>Likes Nagatoro and other shitty degenerate anime
>Makes 4chan his personality (cringe)
>Openly talks about his sex life
>Smokes weed, drinks, vapes. i generally have a low opinion of these people, idc i said it
>Regularly sleeps around. moids who sleep around are the most vile misogynists ive ever encountered. tbh, i would much rather deal with religious moids (actually religious)
>has tattoos, piercings
>doesnt want to get married or have kids

>>96610
Wait, what? What is wrong with Letterboxd?

110% chance of narcissistic psychopathy with anger issues. And shit taste. And being terrible with money.

>>105082
Lol didn't elliot rodger drive a bmw?

>>105082
So… Basically every moid?

>>96013
>getting attached to you quickly
Wouldn't you rather have someone that's capable of sharing their truth ASAP, rather than killing time and only asking you questions for six months, only for you to find out their story is too strange for your taste?

Not to hurt your feels, but this part sounds like you're only interested in being comforted and lied to.

>>94755
>>94755
Can someone redpill me on mama's boys and negative things to look out for?

>>105236
>redpill me on mama's boys
A new born baby's first love is his mother, and the baby thinks that the mother and him are one and the same for the first two years, or maybe three. These first two years form a really important phase in his cognitive development, and how the mother had treated him and behaved to him determines a significant aspect of his personality.

You'd notice that a baby gets happy when the mother opens her hands while plays peekaboo with her, and throws a crying fit when the mother leaves the room. The baby is unable to conceptualize the fact that the mother is capable of existing as a separate outside of his vision.

A healthy mother helps the baby nurture into an individual, and make the baby understand that the mother is a separate individual herself. A healthy mother encourages good behaviors, and discourages and punishes [not in an unhealthy way] bad behaviors, and the baby will understand what yes and no means.

A dead mother is a mother who is the abusive one, who neglects him, who abuses him or who failed to play the role of a healthy mother. The mother is physically present, but she had been mentally dead in his life. The baby had failed to become an individual in this case, and failed to separate himself from his mother.
An intermittent mother is someone who is abusive and neglects him on one time, and smothers him with love and praises him on another time, so the baby is now left in a confused state of "does my mom hate me, or does she love me?". The baby subconsciously understands that he has to always be in her good books, or else the love that he expects from his mother doesn't get reciprocated, even if the mother is having a problem that has nothing to do with the kid.

He's unable to make decisions for himself, as he failed to understand the concepts of yes and no.
The mother dominates every single decision he makes. The mother gets to choose what he wears, which college he goes to, who he falls in love with, who he marries, and so on. The mother lives through him, in both these cases.

Now, what happens when the mother completely smothers him with love and encourages every single thing he does and doesn't teach the baby that she's a separate person who has her own boundaries and needs?
That's when you get the kind of boys who spank their mothers and are too intimate with them that it looks emotionally incestuous. The mother will encourage every single thing the boy does, and treat him like a king, so the boy grows up in a situation where he never heard the word no. He acts entitled, and he reacts with rage and ego injury when someone doesn't treat him like how his mother treats him, and when someone says a simple NO to him.

tl;dr - Oedipus Complex go brr

PS: I use he/him because Oedipus Complex is a moid thing.

>>105237
Appreciate the detailed response :)

>>105237
You're aware that psychoanalysis is mostly debunked and little more than a pseudoscience now, right?

>>105256
Well, yeah. It's pseudoscience.

These are just theories that are used to explain observable conditions. There's a strong correlation between spoiled brats and having poor interpersonal boundaries during adulthood. Just thought that it's an interesting explanation and surely there's no way to prove how right these are.

>>105260
Freud and Lacan are fun to read, but they offer a very skewed representation of reality. One of their problems being their tendency to blame mothers for everything. Autistic kid? Mother was too cold. Manchild? Mother was too warm.

>>105264
Yeah, there's a lot of projection going on in the theories that they came up with but it sure is funny to read them.

Lol, the type of moms that are responsible for autistic kids are called refrigerator mothers.

>>105265
no one is responsible for autism..

>>105272
Of course not. I didn't mean that.

I just found the name and the idea of a refrigerator mom funny, on top of being a very skewed representation of reality.

Obsessing about romance movies and constantly blabbers about ideal love.
Every dissonant moment when he realizes that you don't like or think the exact thing that he does either end up being shitflinging competitions or profusely apologizing to him for not thinking the same way he does, which is impossible. I hate it.

I have a very weird and a specific one. I was talking to a dude online to fairly normal things and then out of the blue he asks me "Are you looking for a black guy?". He didn't sound black and I've seen him say a few n-words every now and then. Whatever went through his head at that moment I have NO clue and it's fucking weird man.

>>105100
Knowing when to share and when not to share something is a test of character in itself.

When someone gives unwarranted trust to a stranger it means they are an idiot who doesn't think critically, traumatized or a manipulative psycho.

Surely there's some nuance between starting to treating someone as if they're your best friend immediately and beating around the bush for months? In both cases you're just setting yourself up.
You don't know the person either way, but at least the worst thing you will lose in the latter is your time. In the former you're entrusting god knows who with your identity, information, etc…

But the worst is that being able to be this trustful implies uncritical environment and fostering a lack of boundaries,(which may be warranted after you know what to expect from the person, not before) which implies you're not being discouraged from acting like a cringe retard, which unfortunately had consequences on my personal life for a short while.

I know there's someone that's probably capable putting this in better words than I did, but at least there was an attempt.

I have a very weird and a specific one. I was talking to a dude online to fairly normal things and then out of the blue he asks me "Are you looking for a black guy?". He didn't sound black and I've seen him say a few n-words every now and then. Whatever went through his head at that moment I have NO clue and it's fucking weird man.

>>105100
Knowing when to share and when not to share something is a test of character in itself.

When someone gives unwarranted trust to a stranger it means they are an idiot who doesn't think critically, traumatized or a manipulative psycho.

Surely there's some nuance between starting to treating someone as if they're your best friend immediately and beating around the bush for months? In both cases you're just setting yourself up.
You don't know the person either way, but at least the worst thing you will lose in the latter is your time. In the former you're entrusting god knows who with your identity, information, etc…

But the worst is that being able to be this trustful implies uncritical environment and fostering a lack of boundaries,(which may be warranted after you know what to expect from the person, not before) which implies you're not being discouraged from acting like a cringe retard, which unfortunately had consequences on my personal life for a short while.

I know there's someone that's probably capable putting this in better words than I did, but at least there was an attempt.

>>105340
It seems all too common that people just want to stay in limerence, fearing and avoiding teasing out the real character of their potential partner at a heavy cost, because you're lonely, they're cute, and you think they're an answered prayer, or someone that just needs a little more love to be set straight.

Of course, it's usually best to keep things light when you're just getting to know someone, though asking the right questions to find who they really are should come sooner rather than later, as I've discovered through a situationship I allowed to go on for too long, as I thought the fun we were having was too good to risk ending prematurely.
I could have known that any relationship that started with sex on the first night together was going to end pitifully, but I kept avoiding the truth that we weren't compatible, other than being the same age, they felt it was fine to use someone like me as a toy for four months with no intention of building anything together, let alone staying in contact after breaking off on good terms.

The best part was when I met them again almost a year later with their new toy. The look on their face (and their partners) was pure gold after trying to bait a negative emotional reaction out of me, while I only smiled and laughed, thinking:
>poor sap… I'll just let you find out what a cute little narcissist you've scored on your own time

>>105345
> though asking the right questions to find who they really are should come sooner rather than later
It can be hard figuring out which questions to ask, but I'm thinking this thread might be a good inspiration for them. Maybe it's a good idea to try baiting out red flags by asking questions to related topics.

> The look on their face (and their partners) was pure gold after trying to bait a negative emotional reaction out of me, while I only smiled and laughed, thinking
lmao they're both a piece of work

>>94696
Tbf gifts based on someone's likes are almost never useful unless they're something you use and throw away a lot.
If it something they like they probably already have 2-3 of what ever it is.

>>105256
it's about as psuedoscience as the entire rest of psychology. look up the replication crisis - psychology is a farce.
>>105237
I've dated a mama's boy and another even simpler and more obvious point of caution is that unless you're totally subservient to their mother they'll probably dump you for not obeying her the way they do. In times of crisis they'll prioritize her over you or your family with them.

>>92412
>>94755
This thread feels very extrovert/dating app oriented: do any ex/current NEETs have any red flags for "cute" or effeminate men?

>>106520
Kek

>>92412

>narcissist
>brand hoe
>that god awful, "i'm a douchebag"-screaming broccoli hair
>high body count. past girlfriends with high body counts
>hard drugs. weed is fine.
>unironically talks like "lmao fr fr no cap bussin" all the time.
>/pol/tard

Also going back to 4chan because I have specific experience with this
>unironically wears a "Please be patient I have autism" hat in public
A friend of a former roommate did this. He was also creepy. Suddenly asked me why I wasn't wearing a bra one time. I showed him my room and when he saw my anime shit he just whispered "You're perfect". I think he was thinking of me as being his ideal pickme anime-loving 3D waifu. cringe

>>106520
hello, based department

>>93120
Green flags in a man?

>>106566
>virgin
>red flag
I will not be with someone who is not a virgin.

>>105335
>listens to podcasts
HATE.

Basing this off of my shitty faggot brother who I live with and rely most of the time. Some may not be red flags but just straight up negative traits.
>manchild
>sexist and misogynist
>saying "women" as a negative thing, making insults about women
>thinks men are superior than women and that women need and can't survive without them
>yells at parents to get a point across and gets impatient with them, even when they need help like tech stuff or papers
>"do it yourself"/"learn"
>blame others
>bad criticism and throws insults, calls you sensitive if you're offended
>doesn't admit to his mistakes and wrongdoings unless he justifies them, sometimes doesn't even apologize
>disliking what you like, even disregarding your interests and reccs (he plays rpg/jrpg games like FF or SMT/Persona but dislikes Undertale and Omori which I like and recommended even though he never give them a chance)
>sends you random videos and sometimes get upset if you don't watch them
>only watches shounen/action/adventure/isekai anime
>into superhero/capeshit
>has no problem seeing waifubait or fanservice of female characters
>calls you woke for being gross out or uncomfortable with moid coomer shit
>calling shoujo/josei/female targeted anime mid, boring, and trash, even though he doesn't bother watching any of them
>complains about female characters being downgraded, unsexified and purposely made to look "unattractive" like Ashley (RE4 Remake), Lola Bunny (Space Jam: A New Legacy), Abby (TLoU2)
>calling bishies or pretty androgynous men "trans", even as a joke
>into politics especially gender/LGBTQ+
>calls you libtard
>furry
>watches and looks at porn
>pornsick coomer, even finds family-friendly characters like Bluey or Tails hot
>makes incest jokes
>messy unkempt room, lack of space
>constantly shopping online and ordering shit
>collects Funko Pops and a fuck ton of figures/statues/plushies/video games/merch, even leaving some of his stuff outside of his room
>plays CoD and Battlefield, mostly shooting games
>gamer rage
>hardly showers, excuse to save water and bill
>sometimes leaves shaved hair on the sink, not completely washed down
>never washes his dirty plates
>consumes junk food and sodas, hardly eats fruits or veggies
>doing things in the last minute, "do it tomorrow"
>doesn't own a functional car
>"borrows" your things but doesn't return or take care of them, even forgetting them

>>94534
what kind of blood memory or ancestral trauma, is it like ancestral memories? can you please tell me more or give some resource to read about this. thank you in advance

>>106695
Do your brother a favour and find a way cut his source of income.
Even if he doesn't appreciate what you are doing for him, at least the rest of society will.

>>107007
If I did cut his source of income then we'd be screwed since we split the rent and bills within the family. Worse is that we both work in minimum wage jobs relying on tips and our parents living off of government money. I guess some of his appreciations are helping me order stuff online, saving money, sharing takeout, vidyas, streaming/online services, etc. I just wish he wasn't so rude, cringe and full of himself.