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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

93A5464F-3F35-44AA…

Toxic Families Anonymous 98520

>Is your family toxic?
For me, yes. Especially my mom. I have to survive 90 days with her this summer and I don’t know how I’m not going to lose my mind.

Anonymous 98521

I love my family! My brother's bringing up my niece and nephew to visit next week and we're all going to drive up to our mom's house over the weekend for Mother's Day.

Anonymous 98543

>>98520
what constitutes being 'toxic' in your mom's case?

Anonymous 98549

>>98520
Assuming you're not underage, rent a place in some kind of vacation spot and get a job waiting tables to save up money for the fall. My friends and I used to rent a whole house together at Rehoboth beach in the summer during our college years and spent 20-25 hours a week serving or bartending and the rest of the time chilling at the beach or partying with other kids in the area. If you have no friends you can probably make some by renting or subletting a room with strangers (just make sure they're female)

Anyway yeah, my mom has NPD which is why I never came home for summer after I turned 18. My Dad is normal but while he was married to her would let her win every argument and make all the decisions at home because he knew all hell would break loose if he didn't. Now that they're finally divorced and he has a wife that's not an evil bitch, he still has a tendency to let my mom get her way when having to deal with her at my older siblings' weddings and baby showers. My stepmom hates it because she stood up to my mom once for manipulating my Dad during these events while he let it happen, and ever since then my mom's been dragging her name through the mud to all their mutual friends/in-laws and put a dent in my stepmom's reputation

Anonymous 98551

>>98543
>tells me I’ll turn out just like my dad even though she knows he r_ped me as a child (he’s in prison, don’t worry)
>told me that maybe I’m just “not as smart and I thought I was” for college after my grades took a hit due to depression
>yells at me everyday (I’ve counted) and picks fights out of nowhere, especially about my body
this and a multitude of things not coming to my head at the moment.

Anonymous 98568

>>98551
>tells me I’ll turn out just like my dad even though she knows he r_ped me as a child (he’s in prison, don’t worry)
jesus, how can a woman say something like this to another woman?

Anonymous 98585

Nah. Mom is a source of womanly wisdom and fun, dad showers me with fatherly love and encouragement. Big brothers are big brothers, they poke fun but are always there for me when I need them. I wouldn't say that there's anyone toxic in my immediate family. Cousins are shit and look down on us for being working class but one's a literal closeted queer, ones a fuckboy, ones a dumb slut, ones just a selfish, garbage human, one is an opportunist retard who stole from our grandma, one's a horrific mother. We steer clear of the extended family and vibe in our chill bubble.

Our parents raised us to care and cooperate with each other. I take care of everyones taxes and legal stuff and offer business advice to my brothers, they take care of basically anything that requires power tools or getting your hands dirty. I'm the brains, they're the muscle.

Anonymous 98590

I wouldn't say my mom is toxic, but she fell for the whole Instagram health guru shit, and since she's always been healthy she doesn't trust doctors and medicine now. I'm dealing with a chronic illness and she constantly tells me it's in my head, that I feel sick because I think I'm sick, that I don't have anything, to not listen to doctors, to not take the medication that takes my pain way, recommends me all sort of weird Instagram guru supplements and tells me turmeric will solve all my issues. I don't live with her so we only talk on the phone and whenever she brings up this shit I just hang up now. We used to get along very well and it makes me sad that she treats me like this now and that I have no support from her.

Anonymous 98594

My mom is the kind of bitch who talks crap about me behind my back while my husband can hear and lies about me to my father about stupid shit like moving things in the fridge (a huge offence.) She has a list in her mind of people she blames for everything and I've been at the top for years. It's draining to be around two-faced people. She screamed at me to my face that she doesn't love me when I confronted her about he bullshit and I wasn't even phased. I don't think she can love anybody but herself. Everybody has to feed into her manipulation to serve her.

Anonymous 98692

>>98520

Yes, I've had a very turbulent relationship with my mother growing up - constantly yelling at eachother and swearing at eachother. I hated her so much when I was younger I constantly hit her, screamed shit like "I hope you die!" at her, and there came a point where we even tried to strangle eachother. In my defense, my mother is a narcissist who always called me stupid, worthless, and god knows what else you should never even think of calling your own child. I never did it unprovoked and simply used it as a defense mechanism, because with how much nicer other people like my stepmother treated me in comparison (even if it is disingenuine) I never dared to do those things at them. My mother is the only one I was so aggressive with and it is because of how much I couldn't stand how she was treating me.

It is not nearly as bad these days because I don't live with her anymore, so the physical distance has helped deter alot. However it is still annoying and disheartening talking to her even over the phone because she still never shows any real interest in my successes (Gives one or two word responses and then changes the topic, or doesn't respond at all. Even when I told her I won a scholarship.) , tries to talk me down and discourage me from my goals (The moment I show any weakness or insecurity about a decision, she will say "See, I told you you shouldn't have done X!"). I currently share a bunch of pictures of my travels with her, but I'm wearing a mask in all of them and all she can respond with is how terrible I look with the mask on and that I should take it off. Her anti-mask rotted brain is too fucking annoying. On top of that, I think she is genuinely getting hear loss so that couple with her narcissistic self-selective hearing makes her even more difficult to talk with. She's also gone more crazy. She behaves and says some really weird fucking shit now. Despite all that, I still talk with her because in 10-15 years, as far as I'm concerned, she will literally be the only person I have in my life that I may still have any kind of relationship with at all.



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