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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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How to stop hating myself Anonymous 99191

How did I not know this site existed earlier. I’ve been a 4chan creeper for some reason even though all the threads creep me the fuck out and any time I use female pronouns in a thread I make I get torn to shreds even if what I was saying made sense. Anyways so to what I wanted to vent about; I actually fucking hate myself and I don’t know how to change. I’ve been like this since I was a kid my therapist said it was something about my parents not really being there which makes sense but they tried so hard so I don’t blame them. But now I’m stuck with undying self hatred. Even after I was in therapy for a couple years I could get over all my other mental health issues but this one. I hate how I look how I act how I sit how I talk I hate all of it. I’m cringing at myself almost every moment of the day and I can’t stop. It’s like it’s become easier to hate myself than accept that maybe I am all that and people still don’t want to be in a relationship with me because if I accept that then I’ll never be in a relationship. I feel like if I keep hating myself and losing weight and working out until I puke or faint slapping on makeup to hide what I hate and wearing the most fashionable clothes I can put together then maybe one day I’ll be worthy of someone else’s love. Because without this self hatred the loneliness feels more permanent because in reality I can’t change myself and if nobody likes me that’s on me for being myself and I can throw another pity party. I know in the back of my mind I’m not ugly and I have a cool personality but that doesn’t feel like the truth for me considering for my entire life I’ve been telling myself the opposite. How do I hate myself less? I don’t like waking up every morning and looking in the mirror to point out everything I don’t like but it’s such a routine for me I can’t break it.

Anonymous 99192

>any time I use female pronouns in a thread I make I get torn to shreds even if what I was saying made sense
But English doesn't have first person female pronouns. You sound like a larper

Anonymous 99193

I manage it by imagining myself as a self-aware fictional character (I'm the protagonist of my own lifez everyone else is the protagonist of theirs) and reminding myself that self-hate is cliche and cringe. It shuts my inner voice up for a while.

Anonymous 99196

could be a quote lol? like
"she's X"

Anonymous 99253

The key to not hating yourself is to try the be a kind of person who you can admire. It looks like you're already trying hard enough by working out and such.

Another way to think of it is that going out of your way to hate on yourself that much is a bit narcissistic and excessive. Chances are, you're not THE WORST person in the world. You've probably never killed anyone, abused someone, etc. Be nicer to yourself and stop obsessing over yourself and perceived imperfections. Instead of directing all that energy inward to dunk on yourself, focus it to something outward like a hobby or volunteering.

Anonymous 99266

I have felt and still feel this way to some degree. Its a hard thing to deal with, like somewhere along the way in your life this mindset just latches on to your brain. It feels really bad and its paralyzing in a very strange way. It lulls you in by feeling like a safe thing. If you just clear your face up or lose weight then someone will just appear in your life. The reality is that its your own self hatred that paralyses you from getting in a relationship. I have seen couples of all ages that are just normal people. Not perfect not insanely hot just people that love and care for each other. You are a lot more normal than you think. Everyone is self conscious about aspects of themselves. Instead of looking at relationships like something you have to perfect yourself for look at it like finding someone that accepts what you hate about yourself. The hardest thing you have to do is learn to accept yourself and stop being so uptight. You're not perfect and you never will be but you can choose to be happy today. The world does not obsess about you as much as you think. You are free to live your life and be happy. Strive to be better but do not use as a means to hate yourself. You live with a self imposed burden that might as well be drowning you. Its hard but understand that its a process. It might help to throw yourself into something you're passionate about. Movies, music, a series something you can sink you mind into besides your own self hatred.

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