/hb/ - Health & Beauty

i don't use alcohol specifically, just anything i can get my hands on. i really don't like alcohol but drink if i have nothing else. i wouldn't call it a mild addiction but i have a really stressful life and don't experience enjoyment of anything or calm, ever, unless i'm not sober or just a little 'enhanced' by substances.

I used to drink heavily once a week in social settings. I couldnt not be drunk because im really awkward and didnt really have fun with the people i hanged around with. If i couldnt drink for some reason i would just go home. It didnt help with my anxiety and shit tho because id just feel horrible about being cringy/social the next few days. But i couldnt help myself.
I stopped now. Dont really drink ever. I dont feel like i have to because i have met some new people and got a boyfriend who are good company without alcohol. I dont feel the need to get drunk with them even if they are drinking (although i dont really like being around drunk people, never have but i didnt notice that most people were drunk too while i was drunk)

I'm trying to stop. I've made a rule that I can only drink Friday and Saturday but it still feels degenerate considering I get drunk off of 2-3 beers. I always say really stupid shit to my friends too. I just fucking wish I could enjoy things without it.

oh fuck i forgot i made this thread.

i have a proper 40 hr workweek office job now that it highly stressful. my drinking has become a psychological need at this point. when i go home i HAVE to have at least two standard drinks. even on weekends, for some reason. like, i feel like all day i'm just waiting to have a beer and go to bed.

it's not helping my insomnia at all. i'm sleep deprived and sickly. this seems to run in my family amd i wanna put an end to it.

my friends are gonna start taking me to the gym after work and i'm gonna buy NA beer or something else tasty to look forward to drinking after work instead. i'm really ashamed.

>>16620
I also work full time and I drink 4-8 cans of 4% alcohol a night due to poor lifestyle choices. I used to drink way more but it ruined my life and I went sober for about 2.5 years.

I try to take breaks when I can, and I'm trying to drink slower so I drink less.

>>17628
Yeah, late 20s is when I started having suspected ulcers and constant reflux too. Try omeprazole, but it really only gets worse from here. Cut back or get onto something which won't burn your stomach, like phenibut

>>17629
I doubt anyone thinks getting drunk alone at the end of their day looks cool

>>17630
nta but when I was a heavy drinker it kind of became a part of my personality, who I was, because I spent so much time thinking about it or consuming it. And I was embarrassed about it… But also felt a little bit of pride about it, because it was a part of me. And I think I normalized and even glamorized it to myself, even though I knew it wasn't really good. I had to cut myself off completely to understand how much happier I am without it. Even knowing that I still want to drink. I wish I could just live without alcohol culture at all but my partner is an alcoholic and it's always around.

I drink every 1-2 days alone at home. Mostly cheap hard liquor because it's the best in alcohol to liquid ratio wise. The faster I get knocked out the better. Led to many bad drunk incidents where I do stupid shit. Been trying to quit for years now but I've never managed to be sober for longer than 4 months. My last drink was the day before yesterday and I'm preparing for hell. I'm gonna blogpost about it as I try to quit here. I need an outlet and alcoholism/addiction is no joke. This is hell.

>>18768
How are you doing, anon?

>>18772
I'm still holding on! Had a craving in the afternoon and last night but powered through it without snacking on sweets. Still in the bad craving zone but am a little more confident to hit the 8-10 day mark where most physical cravings will go away.

It's been a week since my last drink! I've been thinking of continuing my VA-11 Hall-A save but the whole bartending schtick would trigger the fuck out of me. Which is such a shame because I think the game is pretty comfy and I finished it once years back. Come to think, the MC of the game browses anonymous boards during her down time at home too and I thought that was pretty sweet during my first playthrough, but that quickly turned into disappointment because it didn't capture the culture of anonymous boards as well as I thought it would kek

FUCK FUCK FUCK WHEN I FIRST QUIT ALCOHOL IT WAS THE 3-5TH DAY THAT FUCKED ME OVER THE MOST WITH CRAVINGS BUT NOW IT'S THE 7-8TH DAY FUCK FUCK. Most likely because for a few months I started drinking once every 5 days to a week instead of every 1-2 days. My mental timeline for getting out of here is whack now and I feel like actual death. Someone please stop me right now. I need support

>>18768
I'm right there with you nona, I'm gonna do the same. I didn't make it today. I haven't gone more than 3 days without alcohol in the last 2 and half years of my life. I need to stop if I'm gonna make anything better in my life. I don't wanna sit around and think about all the shit that led me to drink, because it's done. I just need to be present with the fact I'm an alcoholic right now and every day will feel like a slog if I don't stop myself, and my future will suffer for it.

>>18793
We can quit together if it helps having someone in the same boat as you! It's a lot easier to become sober if you tell yourself that yourself that you're only going to do this for a month. That's what I'm doing right now. Facing the idea that I can't drink anymore 'forever' will just make me break. Last night >>18791 for me was horrific, the cravings stayed through the entire night, but I held on and told myself if I can do this, I'll drink tomorrow instead. I'm not drinking today, I'll keep telling myself 'tomorrow' lol

>>18795
I hope that technique helps you, I know a lot of people who've quit that way. I just don't think it will for me, I'm a very heavy alcoholic and I made a resolve last night that I need to go inpatient for a little while, at least to monitor my physical health. It's not something I can afford but drinking is pretty much bringing me on the brink of suicide almost every other night. I'm both scared of continuing to drink since I can't seem to taper myself and going cold turkey, because I really can't measure how bad of an alcoholic I am, at least in the physical sense, since mentally it always throws me over the edge. It might seem a little dramatic but I just want to make sure I'll be okay. I think in this case, I just have to realize I just have no self-control and my willpower has been shot by my alcoholism. I'm one of those people who just shouldn't drink, use drugs, etc. I get kind of jealous that other people seem to have control over their lives and still party and have a good time, but it's just never been able to be that way for me. I'm trying not to dwell on it, but anyways. It's good that you're going strong, I hope you keep at it.

>>18798
Oh nona, I'm the exact same way. I KNOW I cannot drink forever, I'm one of those people who are a 1 or a 0 with anything and everything, I absolutely cannot with drugs and I fucked up hard with alcohol. You don't sound dramatic at all, alcoholism is a very serious addiction that society should pay way more attention to but aren't. At least for me, the crushing defeat of knowing I can't drink forever (especially during bad cravings) absolutely destroys me. Things like "I'll try quitting again later" or "I can just move it to once every x days" and "why am I even doing this? I should just die young" surround my mind, so I just tell myself "alright, but later" and it helps pacify those thoughts for awhile. I understand if it doesn't work for you, it's really not for everyone. I know one technique that helps is writing down why you want to quit, what you want to get out of it and different rituals you could do on a piece of paper, and then read it whenever it gets difficult.

I'm going to be honest, I have my delivery app open with a bottle of that poison in my basket, just waiting for the order to sent. I just switched my phone off and decided to procrastinate and check threads on CC instead. The craving is lesser than before right now. It's still there, but I don't want to mess up. In a way I'm so glad that you came by this thread and replied, I would've cracked otherwise. I need to hold myself accountable. I hope you're doing well too. WAGMI

>>18791
try meth :) this is a JOKE please dont lol just remember that being drunk is gross and makes you smell bad and you're so much prettier when youre sober :)

>>18798
I used to feel the same way as you, nona. Not just with alcohol but in general. However, I've come to realize that more people struggle with substance abuse than you think. You'll also find that half of those people who you see "partying" do not feel in control of their usage and wish that they could cut back on or quit altogether. Someone "partying" (AKA binge drinking) 3+ times a week undoubtedly has a problem regardless of whether or not the "party" setting makes it socially acceptable. We also have no idea whether or not these people continue these patterns in the privacy of their own homes, when they are not out with friends.

Hope your journey to sobriety goes well :)

I feel dead inside. I want to look for comfort like I always do, staring down at the bottom of a bottle.

I've been sober since April but I was having a really bad time last week and snuck a drink. It was really nice.