/hb/ - Health & Beauty

I've been "only" going to the gym for a year now but I also had similar difficulties when first starting.

I read your post and I can actually see what the problem might be. The good news is that this is completely fixable but you have to put in the mental work yourself.
(tldr on the bottom sorry this is long)

1. There is nothing anyone can change about the rate their body builds muscle. It's not only different for men and women but also for age and overall genetics (even someone who is my age, my gender, my height AND built the same way might get muscles faster just because of having luck with genetics).

So the first time ever you went to the gym, you compared yourself to your boyfriend: he is already off to a better start since his body is stronger healthwise because it wasn't weakend due to an eating disorder and he is a man AND he already went to the gym before you if he already had a membership (assuming).

When you went to the gym again you punished yourself for quitting earlier by overexercising. Yes you probably got actual physical damage from that since 3-4 times a week is waaaay to much for starting out since your body isn't used to exercise.

→ What I mean by your body isn't used to exercise isn't that I think your lazy but that by exercising as a beginner you are putting pressure on certain bones and muscles groupes that haven't experiencend this type of pressure yet. By trying to go to the gym even 3x a week and doing heavy exercise or running you are risking serious injury since these muscle groupes and bones first have to get used and then adapt to this new type of stress gradually, and slowly over time.

This is a cycle many beginners (I did aswell) in running or going to the gym fall into: wanting to much too fast in the beginning and mentally being able to push themselves (which is great), but their bodies not being able to keep up and then getting injured or feeling unmotivated because of the pysical pain/ lack of improvement. Other than injuries overexersicing in general can even weaken muscles and make you lose them.

What will actually get you results and is extremely important for starting out is that you should only go 1x a week or max. 2x a week and try to stay 1h but actually go every week, and complete a routine there.

2. You're at a point where you should'nt yet think about changing your diet since you don't have a stable gym routine and your body isn't used to doing physical exercise multiple times a week. Your first goal should be going to the gym regularily. Only then will changing your diet really be of use.

→ Don't focus on eating more than you do now yet (theres no use for building mass yet). Eat a normal and healthy amount of food that will get you full, ofc don't forget about proteins but there's no use for protein shakes or bars right now. I don't think they're for everyone aswell, I just eat a lot of natural protein bc protein shakes fuck up my digestion.


3. You are not just imagining that you're not making progress and the physical pain is also not something that is normal for going to the gym so I totally get that you feel dissapointed.
But the problem is not that you're not pushing yourself hard enough, again the problem is that your pushing yourself too hard. I think everyone is able to get strong and fit. Yes the speed of this might depend on genetics but not if it's possible or not. Walking everyday is good and you can keep that up between going to the gym once or twice a week and this way you'd definitely not be wasting your time by going to the gym.

→ Getting strong and fit are different things here:
You have to start out by going to the gym 1x or 2x a week for 1h but regularily to get fit: get your bones and muscles used to exercise without hurting and thus make them stronger for when you want to focus on building muscle later. Do cardio to make your heart and metabolism stronger. Eat normal, and don't overeat yet for building mass. This is actually getting fit and just the first step.

Only then can you focus on getting strong: when you can go to the gym regularily for minimum two months and your bones don't hurt after running and you don't feel like shit after going to the gym, only then would I reccomend changing your diet and going to the gym more than 2x a week.

Tldr:
You're pushing yourself too hard because you have a strong mindset (which is good) but your body can't keep up because it's not used to exercise. This is not your fault and you're not lazy this is just biology. You have the choice to slowly get your body to a point where you are physically fit and then start changing diets, and go to the gym more often or go against your body telling you it can't keep up and risk getting permanantly injured + not see any progress.

This should be your goal right now:
>going to the gym regularily max. 2x a week for probably two months, with a set routine (one hour is enough)
>accept that you have no other choice but making slow progress in the beginning (all those buff people in the gym had to accept the same thing when starting out)
>stop when you feel bones/ tendons hurting; to avoid this don't do too heavy exercise and don't run to fast/ long
>don't get frustrated, since your goal right now is only showing up
>don't compare yourself to others who you biologically have no chance against

>>20677
thanks so much for reading and the constructive reply. i will look back on this post as reference when i start going to the gym again.

i always have heard people, mainly moids say that "if you're not going to the gym at least 3x a week you won't get any improvement" or something. but i've never really listened to any actual personalized trainers or people with similar experience. you made me realize improvement is definitely more nuanced and dependent on the individual. generalized overrepeated tiktok brainrot advice will probably have major flaws.

being patient is probably my #1 important thing to work on, also thanks for covering diet and outlining the goals, actually helpful.

good luck with your training nona ᕦ(ò_ó)ᕤ

>>20678
Is pic male or female?

>>20679
female, rin hoshizora

>>20682
I'm disappointed.

>first and foremost, i find it extremely discouraging because of how much more easily men build muscle.

i see you have chosen to compare yourself to others. this is absolute poison and it will ruin any attempt at improving your situation. don't dwell on what you believe is other people having it easy, this will only cripple you. if you have to, try to satisfy your negative habit of comparison with how many reps or minutes YOU did last time.

>i wasn't noticing any benefits to strength training;

i think strength training is stupid in general. if you lift heavy stuff often or pull a plow on the field by hand, you get stronger naturally. strength tries to keep up with how much you demand of yourself in your life.

>everyday objects weren't noticeably easier to move/carry and i was unhappier with myself than before. at that point i felt like the psychic damage and time investment of 3-4 days/week wasn't worth it.

3-4 days/week? that's quite a lot for someone who has not built the habit. way too much. try once a week and ease into it over the time.

>some days i could run farther without stopping but that's about it. it gave me the impression that as a small woman, i'm simply not made to get stronger or build muscle. which makes me feel pretty sad and inferior.

don't feel inferior, this is psychology from the conveyorbelt designed to turn you into a mindless peon, don't agree with it by practicing destructive modes of relation like competition. you are you whether you like it or not so make the best of it. you can absolutely get stronger and more physically able and it is worth it.

gym is only one way. gym is a soulless strength factory, there are other ways to develop your body and many of them don't require any suspect membership monetization system and weird people filming each other. running, cycling, swimming, skating, dancing, calesthenics, working on a farm, working in the woods.

having read your text, some kind of dancing of figgure skating i believe would be wonderful for you. aside from learning the basics, which can be hard, it never feels like a chore, it is pure enjoyment.


>like i said, i have a history of eating disorders and i'm about 90% recovered (back at a healthy bmi for years and don't restrict/binge). but when i am supposed to eat a lot of protein and be in a calorie surplus, it still fucks me up. i feel like i can see my body get bigger and am afraid that i'll never be able to lose that weight during the cut. i don't idealize thinness anymore, and would like my body to look more toned, muscular, and stronger. i would feel more proud of a having strong body vs. having my current average office-worker body for the rest of my life.

i still think protein is a genocidal marketing hoax. i have not been eating protein in almost a decade, just fruits and vegetables nuts and a few grains on the side. that's fine, i am not malnourished or deficient in anything. i don't have big visible muscles but i use my muscles all day, they are strong and they work well. i am active all day and i don't have afternoon tiredness, i'm never tired. i just don't get tired ever. i get lazy or i have enough of something but that's just my psychology, my physical body can go all day every day and never gets sick.

if i was you and i wanted to bulk up, i would get in the habit of being active all day, do all the chores! keep your living space well managed, prepare/cook everything yourself from real ingredients, no artificial or convenience garbage!

>many people say that exercise improves your mood, but when i go to the gym i just end up feeling pretty bad. i dread going, i don't like feeling the physical pain from running/lifting, and i am disappointed with my performance. i have never been a fan of physical activity, but i would like to be able to find enjoyment from it because of the mental/physical health benefits.

i would try lots of other stuff other then gym if i was you. go ice skating in the winter, it is super fun. i never liked physical activity either, i despised hard work but as i grew old, i realized i love being active and work hard when i benefit from it, because i never got that when i would work hard in the job or during education. when i work hard one day and i batch cook 20 meals and put them in glasses in my freezer, then i get to eat a wonderful meal 20 times. there is a direct benefit of my hard work that i get to enjoy. what i hated about hard work is that it contributed to a system of institutional unfairness and exploitation. so don't hate being active when you are investing in yourself, it is totally worth it!