Broken vagina club Anonymous 6474
Anyone else have trouble with having sex? No matter how much foreplay, I feel like everything is super desensitized down there. Its impossible for me to become aroused. PIV literally feels like nothing, albeit uncomfortable from a penis entering my unaroused vagina. Oral and fingering feels like nothing.
I kinda just have sex since my bf has a high drive. I would literally prefer to do anything else, since it is a little painful but i love him so w.e. Anyone else deal w this shit? I got of an antidepressant of 1 yr, 2 months ago and just stopped my birth control last week because im sick of it and trying new shit.
Basically, send help. Would doctors even take me seriously
Yes, they would take you seriously. Get help.
it's not a "health problem" really so I hear that gynos and doctors don't really know what to do from my online searches. who do i get help from?
I just want to understand why people go to such crazy lengths for sex. like i cannot understand at all why people cheat for instance because they "couldn't control themselves" wtf? i literally never get aroused. i used to when I watched porn or read fanfiction but no more. rarely even did that in the first place
>>6476>i used to when I watched porn or read fanfiction
How much? How often?
started reading fanfiction when i was like 15? never masturbated to it but was aroused from it often. wasn't interested in porn until i was ~18, maybe watched it and masturbated 2-3x a week? nothing enough to desensitize myself. never used a vibrator or anything. slowly lost interest in those things over time.
Was this the only source of arousal you had? Did you get out often enough and show any attraction to people during this time?
i've never looked at someone and thought "wow that person is sexy". I can notice that people are attractive, but neither girls or boys really "do it" for me. I always thought my female friends were just acting when they would say how hot some guy is and how they just want to rip their clothes off. I rarely think about sex. The idea of sex is hot to me but it never arouses me when it actually happens. I've been to strip clubs (male/female) and clubbing but idk, still nothing.
Really? Do these experiences all extend back to puberty?
yes. ive never had a crush or felt infatuation for someone.
Ok im going to my family dr today ill update
i got a referral to a gynecologist today, i hope they're able to do something about it. if anyone has advice on what tests/exams i should push for let me know.
>>6476>I just want to understand why people go to such crazy lengths for sex. like i cannot understand at all why people cheat for instance because they "couldn't control themselves" wtf?
Humans fundamentally cannot understand what the other is going through.
tbh I'm permahorny and I don't understand why people cheat either.
I think it's a self control thing.
yes but sexual desire is supposed to be a universal language across, not just humans, but most if not all animals. it just kinda sucks that i've never felt something so amazing that pretty much everyone else just has innately. It's part of human nature, and there's no way I want to continue living like this in a relationship. it really eats away at relationships. thankfully my bf is so kind and understanding, so many guys would be out at this point with nothing getting better after months.
If i'm not able to solve this issue in a few months after my appointment I'm probably just gonna stop having sex and leave my bf. he doesn't deserve a sexless relationship and i'm not interested in doing it really.
If he's willing to stick around and help you with your problems, I don't think it'd be a good idea to dump him.
just use your hands
or mouth if you can tolerate that
I just went to the doctor for my broken vagina, she told me to try using lube…….
Wow, what a careless bitch. Whatever, try it anyway. Otherwise, try it and report back to her if it doesn't work. Her job to take care of you. lol
Don't let go of your guy, by the way. He's a real trooper and probably just wants to make you happy. Saying it's you and not him might just break him.
oh no, can you go into more detail about your visit? insertion isn't much of a problem anymore and I use tons of lube. i mean it hurts somewhat but it wouldn't be a problem if there was SOME pleasure. the only problem is desensitization now..>>6498>>6499
Well if I can't resolve this issue, I don't want to have to have sex for the rest of my life if I can't get aroused or enjoy it. It'll most likely get to a point where I'll stop engaging in it and he'll start to resent me.
He's very kind and supportive, but he's also getting sex right now. It's mostly oral but we PiV at least once or twice a week. He has needs I get it, but I can't live like this forever. I literally sit there during sex waiting for it to be over. The only pleasure I get out of it is seeing him happy which is pretty great, but man, it's so uncomfortable sometimes. I'm sure if I didn't want to do PiV anymore he wouldn't be a dick about it, but it's not fair to him..
the person you're replying to isn't me (OP) btw (i think the second part of the post was directed to me?)
my gyno appt will take like 3-4 weeks unfortunately.
Did she find any anatomical or hormonal abnormalities? No referral to a gynecologist or anything?
also, whats are your issues with your vagina?
You don't have to do this to yourself, anon. If you enjoy his companionship, I think that means a lot more than sex ever could. He doesn't seem to resent you for it, and seeing him happy makes you happy, so why leave him alone? Just do everything you can to try and help yourself. You don't have to be alone. >>6504
My problem is random-onset clitoral pain (clitoradynia?) Insertion isn't an issue for me, but very suddenly it's started to hurt to touch my clitoris during sex. I shyly brought this up to my gynecologist, and she told me it was probably from birth control and to track my cycle, but it's pain all month long.
I've been on the same bc for years, so it's not from introducing new hormones or anything. This has been going on for months.
She checked for anatomical abnormalities, clitoris looks normal. Unfortunately lube doesn't change anything. This has pretty much killed my sex drive and makes me feel kind of worthless. It's hard not to cry while even typing this post. oh well.
I'm so sorry, I really wish I could solve the problem for you. If you can, get a second opinion and try to be really assertive. Gynos are known for brushing off women about sexual dysfunction (unless it directly affects your ability to bear children).
I totally know how you feel about having no sex drive and feeling worthless. I hope it gets better…
How is the pain like? I've always had an overly sensitive clit and it hurts if i couch it directly. So i have to touch it indirectly, like i touch it through the clitoral hood. Maybe this can work for you too.
Broken here, but differently.
I get aroused easily, but it takes loads of foreplay (that men are usually not willing to go through) for me to even take the dick without being in pain. My ex thankfully had a pencil dick so I could sometimes suck it up and do it for him without , but hook ups are out of the question for me.
It sucks cuz I'm a sexual person and I masturbate constantly, but I can't do sex like normies since I can't "just take the dick" without literally crying into the pillow /:
Opposite problem, ish? Sort of. I'm incredibly ticklish all over including there so any sort of foreplay or even just holding me a certain way makes me burst into laughter. This is how I learned how insecure guys can be in bed.
>>6575>tfw ticklish bitch also and this is a big fear
Luckily I id most with being a "service top" and a bit of a touch-me-not, so if I end up with a compatible person it shouldn't be an issue.
How do you cope? How do you maintain a relationship lol? Does it turn people off bad?
My current boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now so he's used to all my weird quirks. It helps to warn them beforehand, he thinks it's cute. One guy a few years ago wouldn't believe that I wasn't laughing at him though, he was the type that didn't respond well to any sort of constructive criticism about anything.
Birth control and antidepressants are both very bad for your health, you can find such information easily if you look for it. If you're in a relationship but don't want to have children, odds are you have some things to reflect upon. Maybe you're making the wrong choices, either in regards to your ambitions or about your boyfriend himself. If you're getting into a relationship for the sake of it, it's not worth it.
And despite the controversy surrounding some of her viewerbase, watching Marie Cachet's videos of her playing with her kids around the garden and such really opened my eyes. I'm not quite there yet, but at least now I know what I'm looking for.
The first sentence was good, but then it became breeder propaganda.
Why do you hate Africans so much?
The fuck are you talking about? Why are you bringing up kids?
Most girls on birth control do it because they want to have sex without getting pregnant(duh), and what I was saying is that if you're gonna have sex for the sake of it it's not worth it. If you're still not in the stage(or with the person)in which you wouldn't mind getting pregnant, work on that first before wasting your time with hookups. And dating someone you don't plan on being with on the long run is pretty much just an extended hookup. Stop wasting time with such things, look for someone you actually want to be with.
And taking birth control, antidepressants and other pills will make it harder for you to judge your situation properly since they mess with your hormones. One thing leads to another, it's pretty transparent.
Im with my first boyfriend at 21. Its been 3 months. I see a future with him but im not having a child obviously.
Of course I understand that, but I still think you shouldn't take birth control. Not only is it bad for your overall health, going as far as being able to render you infertile, but it promotes hedonism. See, if the boy you're with is really worth it in the long term, your relationship must be based upon much more than simply sex, which is to say that you needn't be having sex all the time during this "evaluation phase". After all, a possible long term relationship starts with a relationship that transcends sex, a real companionship(I don't want to use the term friendship because I don't think it's the same thing as we have with close friends). Any relationship built on physical stimulation as its prime directive is very fragile, and it's no wonder long term relationships have become so rare in our highly oversexualized culture.>but what if he complains?
If he's not willing to build an actual relationship and only wants to bed you chances are he's not worth it.
So there's an exception? Why is that?
Wtf, how is it hedonistic to be on birth control in order to have sex in a monogamous relationship with the person you love and lost your virginity to? Of course our relationship is more than physical, he's with me even though I have issues with sex and get too sore to continue like 5 minutes in. If he was only about having satisfying sex he would have left by now, dumbass. Relationships need both emotional and physical connection. Your opinions are a shit.
Pay no mind to the breeder propaganda.
I just don't get your racist vibe.
Seriously, why the fuck do you keep crying racism when someone calls you out for clearly having an agenda? How does it harm you in any way if women are taking birth control?
Because whenever someone goes on about antinatalism, there's always some strange racial bias stuff in there.
More like the natalism the breeder ascribes to is steeped in racism. It's not antinatalism to use birth control.
How so? You do know what continent has the most "breeders" on it, right, you genocidal tyrant? BTW "breeder" is very much an antinatalist thing to say.
Nah, homosexuals use breeder, and they’re way more common than antinatalists.
Not anymore. I can't count on a single finger the amount of times I've heard "breeder" from a gay person, compared to antinatalists. It's something else entirely now, all apart of the "childless" hedonist mindset that inches its way into everywhere.
OP here with an update from my gyno appt. I made sure to see a female doctor who sees a lot of pts for painful sex.
She isolated the pain to the bottom of my vagina where the Bartholin Gland's are. I don't really understand it but she put a q-tip there and applied a medium amount of pressure and I jumped. It was such severe pain. She thinks that they're swollen/irritated. Apparently I was living my whole life wrong and washing myself/wearing underwear (?) incorrectly and she thinks it's causing it. I always thought as long as you were wiping front to back you were good, but I guess not. I don't get why it was so painful during the appointment though because I had been having painful sex but not to that degree.. couldn't really see what she was doing down there but she didn't even penetrate.
Other than that, she gave me a steroid cream to use for 2-3 weeks so that she can actually exam me and give me an ultrasound. In terms of sexual arousal, she said we'd cross that bridge when we get there. She thinks it'll get better ~3 months after birth control and addressed how birth control decreases testosterone and can destroy your sex drive. Kind of brushed me off on my clitoris feeling desensitized (she thinks it's an after effect of the anti-depressant), but I'll get there after all this mess is resolved.
Overall, I'm glad I went with a female gyno. She spent a good amount of time with me and addressed all my concerns. Never made me feel like I'm crazy or lying about pain. Hopefully all this can be resolved one day!
only thing is that I don't feel or see a cyst? I don't see any other related issues with the Bartholin gland except cyst formation so..
and it's been going on for several months, seems like it would have grown to the point where it's obvious.
I have the same issues as you, reading your replies OP. I never got aroused aside from fanfics, but never masturbated to them. I never get wet. I'm not attracted to men or women. I feel nothing down there, no pleasure or pain. It's like picking your nose. I've never had sex or used birth control, so I can't use either of those as markers. I've been this way before I started using anti-depressants, and am still this way a year after I stopped taking them. I had bloodwork done on my hormones and they're all within a healthy range. I feel like I got stripped of one of the basics of the human experience.
Not OP but I’m the exact same way anon. I’ve never had any sex drive. I identified as asexual for a little while but recently have been holding off from doing that, until I have sex, which I’m thinking about doing, just so I know for sure. I feel like I wouldn’t enjoy it though, that it would just tickle or it would feel like my nose was being picked, like you said. I always hear about sex between two people who love eachother being amazing, and I feel like I won’t ever experience that.
How do you guys feel about having relationships with our "condition"? I dont even see the point of continuing this relationship. Which sucks because he's perfect in every other way except his (normal, completely human) need for sex. Its ok now but there's no way we're sexually compatible. I dont want to lose him but its inevitable if I cant get better :/
The worst part is other people can't even comprehend this. They always think I mean I just cant have an orgasm and arent able to understand not feeling anything. I wish that was my only problem
I used to be indifferent about it but after developing feelings for someone with a normal sex drive it’s been making me more depressed. I still love other forms of intimacy like cuddling, spooning, caressing, kissing, etc but sex doesn’t appeal to me. And I think romantic love is one is the best feelings anyone could experience, I’m kind of a hopeless romantic. A lot of people consider sex an immutable part of romance and I don’t know if I’ll ever experience anything like that.
I’ve heard of people growing out of it in their 20s. Maybe that will happen to me. Or maybe if I try having sex it will change me. But the pessimistic side of me can’t help but think this is just the way my brain is wired, because I’ve always been like this. I think I’d do sexual things with a partner if it meant they wouldn’t leave me. But maybe they wouldn’t like the fact that I wasn’t fully enjoying it and leave me anyway. I’m scared and depressed because I want things to work with this person.
There's nothing wrong with thinking this way. Peer pressure is the worst.
There’s nothing wrong with it? I feel like it’s abnormal that I never really fantasize about sex and that I could probably go without it forever. I’ve heard most people say sex is necessary in a relationship or that it’s a basic human need. I’ve also heard people say that romantic love can’t exist without sexual attraction. So I just don’t know. It makes me feel like I’m not normal.
We aren't normal at all and it's not natural to not care about sex. It sucks because I still like to feel sexy and still enjoy being physically close with my partner. And it just makes me feel like a huge tease to want nothing more.
Don't shun yourselves for not being exactly like everyone else! If that isn't what you want, it's not what you want. Don't force yourself into it. You'll only disappoint yourself with how little you're enjoying it.
>>6605>not wanting to have children is selfish hedonism
I'd be a horrible mother and I've got schizophrenia & major depressive disorder, me not popping out babies is an ethical choice. (I also think it'd be cruel to bring a child into this world, but that's not as relevant.)
OP, have you tried the "pink pill"/female viagra? It might not do anything for you, but it can't really hurt to try.
There's a pill for that. One meant to help you recover, and not be used permanently.
Ah yes, a fellow ace. I know your pain, but you aren't alone.
You are probably assexual and there's nothing wrong with your vagina, anon!