I think their aspiration is to find someone that they connect with deeply, not just watching them talk but talking with them and bonding over months, and then reveal that they are a male and hoping that they can turn that friendship into a relationship.
There are males on r9k that are nice and attractive people, they just have anxiety. Same here: there's lots of kind and attractive women here who are lonely because they face anxiety and depression. It's not strange for the former to try to connect with the latter, even if they must violate the rules in the process. It's darn close to impossible to accomplish on their home board.