What's the worst thing you have ever done? Anonymous 4763
>>4763>opened this thread
in all honesty, i'm not sure. probably blanked it out and subconsciously committed to never thinking about it ever again
I committed several dozen swattings in the late aughts and early 2010s. I'm not sure exactly how many, but it was enough that I lost count. I still think about it and I'm aware it's something I should feel bad about, but I don't. I guess I just have some kind of stunted conscience or something like that. This isn't the only thing I've done where I feel that way, but it's one of the more notable ones.
I think a lot about how the internet lets us reach out and touch strangers' lives, and it really bugs me out. For those people I did that to, this was probably a pretty big deal. For me, I was sitting in a room, sometimes thousands of miles away, and now it's just a passing thought every now and then, something I did for an amusing afternoon years ago. The internet sure is a strange thing.
mostly it was just stupid internet beefs on incredibly lame forums like hackforums and the other similar sites that always orbit hackforums. it'd start out like a lot of internet interactions do, just a couple of teenagers talking shit, and then it'd escalate and we'd be trying to dox each other, and then I'd make the call when I found out who they were. it'd be nice to pretend like there was some kind of good reason for it, but there isn't.
one of the things I've observed about the internet (and to a lesser extent, the phone system) over the years is the way minor power can scale in a way that it doesn't in real life. for example: I could rob a store in person, but that's just one store. one piece of malware can rob thousands of stores. I could throw a rock at someone in person, or I could throw an entire SWAT team over the internet from thousands of miles away. in the end, I don't see it as fundamentally different from two teenagers beating the shit out of each other in an alley, like they've done for thousands of years. I think the available weapons have changed. kinda spooky, isn't it?
I don't know if I should elaborate because I suspect I'll get banned for larping or something because it's pretty terrible
Numerous sexual assaults
Spit in a person's coffee multiple times.
Stalked a girl, put her blog adress on 4chan so people would spam her (spoiler : did not work at all) and I created an account on okcupid with her name and instagram pic.
Felt pretty bad about that last one (because of the poor souls who messaged her and because it was a bad thing to do) so I deleted it a few hours/days later
Made a cow thread about someone because they were mean to me irl
I did something inappropriate to my friend as a child that, at the time, I did not realize was wrong.
ghosted a few guys after they had taken me out on first dates and bought me dinner and drinks
tbh I was just too avoidant and cowardly to say I didn’t want to go out with them again
Anyway, I I was walking home from school when i was around 13 and suddenly got an urge to kill a bird. I caught a pigeon a few days later and killed it
I used to hang out with this moid that pretended to be my friend just so that he could touch me inappropriately. When I came to this realisation I was so “depressed” that I didn’t do anything about it, also his friend group was my friend group, all males. I felt like I couldn’t do anything about it.
They used to do drugs together, smoke weed and drop mbome. I would smoke with them but never did mbome until a few years later and with a girl friend.
This pig, out group and I were out partying one night and he brought cocaine. I don’t know where the fuck he got it from. No one took any. Only him. He was terribly drunk when he snorted a little out of the corner of his phone. I knew mbome was also a stimulant and has amphetamines in it. I also knew he had a tab. When he took his second “dose” of coke I dared him to drop the mbome. He, not even utilising 1% of his brain capacity at that point, did it.
I knew this was lethal, I had googled it seconds before telling him to do so. I wanted him to die.
He didn’t. I left minutes after but he did have some reaction to it. Like an hour later he was completely unable to speak, shaking, with his eyes looking up into his skull. That I was told.
I never talked to him after that, I’d changed schools anyway. For what a dude from that friend group told me, he was never the same. After they got him to one of their houses, I don’t know whose, he slept, woke up and could barely talk sensibly. After a few days later, he was “normal”, but everything took him more effort. He never finished high school and is now slower than he used to be.
I don’t feel guilty. I hope he’s having a hard time with that barely functioning brain he has now.
That's so based
Anyway mine is probably somewhere between sexually harassing friends when i knew i could get away with it/people would treat it like a joke because i was a teen girl, deliberately playing with the feelings of men and making them cry because i like to see it (feels even better than just hitting them imo), and literally taking things from my friend's houses and then pretending i did not when they asked me about it. I have a billion stolen shit in my room, i never let anyone outside of my family inside. Some of these people i stole from i'll never see again but a part of them lives with me now.
When I was a waitress I stole fifty dollars from two kids at one table. They left their empty plates and there was the crumpled up money, I took it and then when they came back to ask for it I lied and said I didn't see any money.
I watched loads of cp when I was a kid myself.. funny thing i am still not ashamed of that even though i should be
How were you able to access cp as a child? That seems really weird. (Not looking for specific sites here, just a vague answer)
nta but i have pretty much the same experience, i used tor a lot in the earlier days, though i wasn't a kid, i was a young teen
I used to hear some of my classmates talking about it. Kind of weird because wouldn't you make sure no one knows you've done that? Also, makes me question how many people especially modis tried to access cp for any reason at all. I really wish there was a study conducted on this but moids obviously will bullshit about it.
Idk actually, i think the web was much less moderated back in early 10s, so there was no problem accessing it. Legal vieos seemed boring and unrelatable for 10 y.o. me so…
My dog was old and suffering from cancer or something. We couldn't afford to put her down at the vet (but we weren't poor) so I had to put her down myself (was like 14 then) since they wouldn't. I'm still shook about it like almost 20 years later. I mostly remember not wanting my dog to not suffer anymore but I feel like I made the wrong choice.
that was really screwed up that you had to do it. you made the right choice though if she was suffering
My friend said that one of the boys she used to hang out with when we were 13 begs her to show him her boobs or let him touch them. I said she should agree to meet up with him and tell him to cover his eyes and that she'll let him touch her chest. But instead she'll slice his arm with a razor blade that I gave her.
Next day, that's what she did. She said the cut was across his forearm and bled a lot. It's a shame he didn't get an infection from it.
On my birthday when i was maybe 13 or 14, some family members called to wish me a happy birthday. I had a friend over I wanted to impress, so i cut the call short. She even told me, “you basically hung the phone up in their faces!” They were sweet, good people who wanted to be in touch with me, but that was the last time I heard from them. Although I didn’t know at the time, their father was abusive, and they ended up in a shelter . I probably did worse things, but that’s the one that I still feel so guilty about I haven’t been able to Talk about it out loud. This is probably the first time I even wrote it out in full.
You were a kid who wanted to impress their friends. The rest is not your fault, nor did you know about it then. Why not get back in contact and make up for it?
Okay but. Why and how was it supposed to impress someone, I don’t get it
Thank you so much anon, I really needed to hear this.>>4942
Kids are retarded and I didn’t want to look “lame” or something like that by spending a long time on the phone.
Why did you do it?
Yeah, I did too but out of sick curiosity. >>4923
Whatsapp has been the default message app in my country since like 2009 and when I was like 12-14 I was in a group full of moids, we all played league of legends, that was the “point” on the group. There was one dude that they added sometimes specifically to share cp and he’d send like 5 videos from 5 different “ages”, we were almost all minors so they wanted to see the 15, and 17 year olds or so they said. I don’t know why I didn’t get out of there sooner but yeah I did watch seconds of the more fucked up ones, well all of them actually.
I did called the police on this dude but the police basically laughed at me on the phone.
I regret watching it but thankfully I don’t remember much of it.
you just didnt like her or what?
in highschool i was insane. i cyberbullied people and almost stalked someone. i did it to middle school bullies, an annoying coworker and a girl that flirted with my boyfriend.
i found their numbers and put it on b, instructing people to send dick pics and solicit nudes. i also made a pornhub account and posted their numbers in comments and the profile, advertising that they're so horny. the posts disappeared quickly and the account got banned for spam so i think nothing happened. later on i tried figuring out where the flirty girl lived so i could poke her tires out or throw dog shit at their door. i only figured out the block but never the building or address though. so instead, i made fake accounts and sent porn and gore in their dms. i am not sure if they saw it. when she got a boyfriend, i kept adding him with fake hot girl profiles, some asking him if he was single, or confessing to him. sometimes i added the girl with those profiles in the hopes she would feel insecure.
for the girl that bullied me in middle school, i created 5 fake accounts, and reposted her selfies. i commented on it laughing and vomiting emoticons saying how ugly she was, detailing her receding hairline, bulbous nose and unkempt manbrows.
my annoying coworker was a bitch who tried getting famous for posting her coffee and workouts. she was mad and bullied me because i acted autistic. so i made a fake account with her username variation, pretending to have an onlyfans and sell nudes, and followed some of the guys commenting under her pics.
this last one took a bit of waiting. i tried finding porn that looked similar to the girl that flirted with my boyfriend. it did not even take that long, maybe 3 months when i finally found one. i took screenshots of the angles that looked the most similar to her. i messaged her boyfriend saying she cheated on him, and the guy replied that he knows. i laughed so hard even if that was fake, because i knew she had a "crazy ex" this would get blamed on. i decided not to send that porn cap because i was lazy to edit out a tattoo, and eventually i broke up with my then boyfriend.
i've backed out of promises i've made, mostly promises to make free art for people. which i know isn't bad at all, but these are the things that keep me up at night. one time i participated in some bullying (basically making fun of a girl's ethnic name). it felt really bad, yet i also got a thrill of inclusion because that was the first time i was part of the in-group at my school. i can see why groups of bullies congregate – not to moralfag, but i'm glad i got out of it quickly and ended up befriending the girl later.
also, one time when i was young i have a vague, vague memory of maybe seeing a boy at my preschool harming a kitten and just watching him do it? if that memory is real i wish i had told someone. but it might not even be real so who knows. in any case.
>>5180>i've backed out of promises i've made, mostly promises to make free art for people.
Don't feel bad about something like that. The other person would be pretty entitled to get upset in that situation.
I once tried to push my mom down the stairs, when I was younger. We used to have an extremely turbulent relationship. At one point I remember getting so angry at her from something we were arguing about that I literally started seeing red. I had felt so angry that I lost all sense of reasoning.
Another time, I got so angry I tried to strangle her. (In a way I felt even more fucked up about the fact that she started trying to strangle me back, when I did though)
I've almost never gotten that angry, so it felt terrifying once I came back to my senses after those happened.
I remember my sister and mom were in a fight and my sister threw a remote right at my mom's head and hit her
that is incredibly fucked up
We've also thrown things at eachother. A few times she's tried to cuddle up to me, I've also unintentionally pushed her back so violently that she fell on her ass. I feel like a part me died everytime an event like this happened.
Did your sister have anger management problems? My brother used to have really bad ones, to the point he had kicked and punched holes in the wall of our house severl times. My mom was also always yelling, sometimes until she was red in the face, so I think I subconsciously picked up that aggression up from them (Because I usually have an extremely calm temperament.)
When I was 16, I was friends with this one moid, and I frequently went over to his house. I met his little sister (she was 13 at the time), and I quickly became friends with her as well. But, the moid eventually tried making sexual advances on me. I told him no many times but he kept doing it. It escalated even further, with him sometimes groping me without my permission. Eventually I had enough, and I wanted him out. I made up a plan to get rid of him.
One day, when my house was empty, I invited the moid over alone. I faked confessing my love for him, telling him that I'd loved him since the day we met. Instantly his monkey brain started up, and he couldn't think of anything else but sex.
I gave him a condom I prepared, and he used it while fucking me. I'll spare you the details of the ordeal. After he was finished, he was going to dispose of the condom in the toilet, but I stopped him, making up a lie about it being dangerous to flush condoms. Obviously a moid of his calibre fell for it. He instead threw it in the trash bin.
I performed the next step the very next day. I called his little sister to meet with me, at my house. Since I had befriended her, I believe she had started to see me as a sort of "big-sister" person. She trusted me and believed anything that I told her. So I made up a story about the moid raping me for months and that I was too scared to come out about it. She had trouble believing it at first, but I told her to check the trash bin for proof. It worked.
But the next part was the hardest part. I told her that I was too scared to go to the police about it, and that I was weak compared to her. It took a long time of acting, but eventually, she actually told me she would say the moid was raping HER. When I heard her say that I could barely hold back my smile. On the inside, I was laughing, full of joy. She proceeded to say she would rub the moid's semen on and in herself to fake it.
I never saw the moid again. Or his sister, for that matter. I avoided her at costs now that I was done with her. I later investigated what had happened to the moid, and I found out he was imprisoned on charges of sexual assault and rape of a minor. Looking back, I don't think I necessarily did the wrong thing. I wanted him out of my life, so I got him out the way he deserved. I don't regret it.
That never happened in a million years.
A few years ago I missed my train, the buses had stopped hours ago and my phone was dead so I got into a cab as my only other option was walking home down country lanes in the pitch dark for ten miles, if I didn't get lost that is. I knew I couldn't take the cab to my house so I asked to go to a street quite far away that's narrow, has cars parked on both sides and has access to an unlit footpath onto a big housing estate. The second the car stopped there I bolted into the estate without paying. I technically had the money to pay, but at the time it was all I had so I justified it that way. It's not especially bad, certainly not attempted murder, but something about how premeditated it all was still bothers me. I really did not care at all, and possibly even enjoyed it, which I don't think is healthy. Still, as long as I don't miss my train ever again the world can sleep safely in their beds another night.
I used to manipulate my younger sister into being dependent on me. I didn't even realize what I was doing for the longest time but she was 5 years younger than me which made it easy. I made sure we always did everything together. She eventually became a carbon-copy of me to the point that she had a bedroom but never used it. She'd always hang out with me and just watch what I did no matter how boring it was. It was amazing just how alike we were.
I loved this. I was actually rather lonely so it was nice just having someone on my beck and call who'd do everything I wanted to do. Of course, I hadn't quite perfected this strategy so I eventually made the critical mistake of letting her get into an interest that I didn't care about. It was all over at that point since she went searching for other friends that also cared about it and I didn't yet recognize the importance of feigning interest. There was no undoing this damage, she broke free.
Nowadays she's kinda realized I'm actually a really terrible person and I'll own up to it. I still manipulate all my friends and family (and have gotten much better at it) but I just can't stop regretting making that error.
I do somewhat wish I could have a healthy relationship with people that didn't involve these games but my sister kinda spoiled me. Normal relationships aren't good enough, I need people to dance to my tune exactly. It is a bit tiring though…
My best friend for almost a decade told me he liked me and I immediately stopped talking to him and blocked his number.
>>5287>I hate this moid so I had sex with him
Yeah. That’ll really teach him a lesson!
Anon, Why did you do that to yourself?
was it … really necessary to have sex with a moid you hate just to ruin his life ? you're worth more than that
The parts that jump out to me about this is how she betrayed her brother and why would a rapist use a condom to begin with haha
Nta, but sex is not something super sacred, if they want to use it - eh>>5329
I think she didn’t knew it was about her brother, implies there was later a dna test, I guess?
Some rapists use condoms because of ghat exact reason - not to be traced
But I still don’t believe she was ok to stay playing real victim role when this was revealed
Could be though!
sometimes i steal money out of my grandfather's wallet or his secret money stash and put it in my savings account for a rainy day or to buy necessities like clothes, food, gas, etc. i don't use it for anything irresponsible like drugs or alcohol, not that it makes it any better. he can afford it as the last time i peeped his checking account now that he's letting my mother finally work on our houses and manage his business, he had over 40k available so it's not like we're poor and living off benefits. he treats me like dogshit so it's my way of sticking it back to him until he finally drops dead and we can sort out my grandparents estate which is in an absolute mess because of his stupidity.
Catfished men when i was 16. I was really lonely and it was paranoia driven.
Used foreign women’s instagrams as a source for my persona. Surprisingly most of them fell for it even though they were young men in their 20s. I feel really awful for it to this day, i wanted to use my own picture and talk to boys my age but mental illness ig.
>>5602>Catfished men when i was 16
impressive.>>5605> I feel really awful for it to this day
Don't be, we all do stupid things when we're lonely.
I did the same when i was younger, too. I wasn't very confident in my looks and couldn't be bothered to take a good picture of myself, besides i really wanted to know what it feels like when someone is attracted to you, even if it wasn't actually me.
And similar to you, I took authentic pics of not well known but really beautiful girls, mostly from my country (it's non-english speaking) and mostly chatted with guys from europe or us so I had no chance of meeting them
Yeah it’s comforting to know another girl (hopefully kek) did the same as i did. After the deed i felt like a fucking creep which i was but you know. Not all of us had the luxury to be coddled and given attention i guess.>i really wanted to know what it feels like when someone is attracted to you, even if it wasn't actually me.
That was a part of my motivation yes, but also i was struggling with ocd and religious indoctrination that lead me to ruminate over being a lesbian. (I got called that for being a tomboy and my ocd latched on to it) so i texted them to test it. Its a horrible mental illness and leads you to do the weirdest things and delusions. Like a bug in your brain…