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What are the darkest thoughts you have? Anonymous 5684

Tell CC what you can't tell anybody else.

Anonymous 5686

I want the planet and everything on it to perish.

Anonymous 5687

I don't disagree with the people who go postal. I'm not even horrified.

Anonymous 5690

Everyday i contemplate suicide, that’s one of the dark thoughts thats socially accepted to say that i wont regret posting

Anonymous 5691


Anonymous 5696

I’m sorry i have paranoia i can’t share the other ones

Anonymous 5697

I guarantee nobody cares enough to look into you. If you're actually a woman, you're useless to agents who honey pot psychos into mass shootings- women aren't all that dangerous on a large scale so.

I wouldn't worry.

If you're a man, you should probably shut up about any and every dark thought, true.

Anonymous 5698

Ehh i don’t want to shit up the thread but when you’re a paranoid mentally ill person man or woman, anything can seem dangerous to your life. I might share the fact that i like peanut butter sandwhiches and then ruminate about this conversation months later thinking you’ll find me through this information and hurt me. Lol. But lately my thoughts have been nothing innocent like that. It’s probably delusions though but they still count as thoughts no?

Anonymous 5700

人生 has been\^o^)/o…

Ok so I never considered myself mentally ill because I always just assume I'm a turbo normie but I sort of relate to this really hard. Whenever I post anything relating to me online I fear I will be found out. Whenever I intereact with people online I feel the same and this might be a bit ridiculous but each time I download a yaoi image to my computer I legitimately am afraid the feds are looking at me. I really like guro. I know it's ridiculous but I can't help focusing on these and even think about it for months and weeks too. So scared I'll be found out doing anything.

Anonymous 5706

>Ok so I never considered myself mentally ill
why are you here then?
Go home

Anonymous 5707

just generic sexually intrusive thoughts. Also a lot of ones anout murder and death but that's usually an anger or anxiety response.
ex. someone wrongs me and I think about chopping them up or cutting their throat
ex. I see someone carrying a baby in a store and I get scared and imagine them dropping it on its head
I've thought about hurting children though, not in a while really and I'm glad because all I felt was guilt when those thoughts plagued me.

Anonymous 5709

I mean I know I'm mentally ill, diagnosed and everything, but I feel the exact same way. I can't tell you how many posts I'll make then quickly delete and constantly worry that I posted or saw the wrong thing even though I don't ever do anything wrong.

Anonymous 5713

I dunno anon, I don't think I'm ill either- I mean other people would and do say that I am so I must accept multiple perceptions likely outweigh my own but I mostly think it's everyone else that's bat shit.

People are weird and if you point it out then you're the weird one.

Anonymous 5723

I’m the anon you replied to lol, you seem paranoid but in denial. I mean i wouldn’t call a niche imageboard surfing guro liking yaoi pictures saving person who thinks the fbi agent is judging their 2D porn a turbo normie. But i was in denial too so i get it. I latched on to normies for a good chunk of my life, none of them shared my fears and sentiments throughout these short lives situationships so i don’t think of someone who does as a normal person. Though fear of being found out when you goof around online and cancelled is pretty normal these days if that’s what you mean

Anonymous 5744

I feel like committing homicide or violently stabbing people often… I prefer satanic themes over heavenly ones…

Anonymous 5778

There's this 10-12 year old boy that lives next to my bf. I hate that little shit, which is an achievement because I normally like kids.
I often think to myself how easy it'd be to kidnap him. Possibly torture him, but definitely kill him. Like, his parents are never looking after him so I could just snatch him and get rid of the pest. Everything I've learned about witchcraft says that blood sacrifices are wrong and unnecessary, but I've fantasized about offering his blood and flesh to pagan gods. Again, this is super weird because I like kids. Hell, I've considered becoming a kindergarten teacher.
Also, often when I see people carrying babies I have the worst anxiety inducing thoughts. For example, I imagine an active shooter killing the mother through the baby or a car plowing through them. I have to emphasize that I take no pleasure in these very intrusive thoughts and more than once they've made me cry. I think this comes from an old recurring nightmare I had when I was little where a madman cannibal escapes an asylum and as people flee his rampage a mom throws her baby at him to escape.

Anonymous 5788

Uh… this thread was a bad idea

Anonymous 5794

Tbh I've been "found out" because of a lolcow server and anons made a collage of random vent messages I sent to make me look like a nazi schizo. Whilst it made me have a bad day when I discovered it, I stopped caring pretty quickly. It made me more weary of (mentally ill) women online tho. I used to be pretty much only suspicious about males.
Feds aren't the ones you should fear, but rather mentally ill people willing to collect information about yourself to bring you down to feel better about themselves.

Anonymous 5795

There’s a lot of them here too, i’ve always been thankful for my intense mistrust of people even though it sort of destroyed my social life. I will never trust anyone. I almost did this year because of deep loneliness but i’m glad i snapped before i did anything stupid

Anonymous 5799

I like shota. I'd never actually do anything with a real child, and it's always drawn and never realistic. and I think it's more of an extention of my preference for soft, feminine boys. But whenever I look at shota I feel a lot of guilt about it

Anonymous 5800

They're called intrusive thoughts anon. They don't reflect what anon's actions are.

Anonymous 5801

>old people walk unbearably slowly in front of my car while i am trying to drive in the parking lot
>feel rage and imagine taking them by the shoulders and strangling them
>anger ruins my whole night
I'm so irritable. I'd never enact thoughts like these.

Anonymous 5802

Am I the only one who didn't know what intrusive thoughts were until I came online? I'd describe my thoughts to both my therapist and random people on mental health forums and my therapist acted like it's the first she'd ever heard of it while people on forums were like yeah theyre just intrusive thoughts. I genuinely can't tell if she was underqualified or just hated me

Anonymous 5803

I would say she was underqualified. Also because the internet is an information super hub.

Anonymous 5807

Maybe you didn’t explain them well enough. I didn’t have a name for my intrusive thoughts till i read it on forums as well. before that, i didn’t express these thoughts well to people because i was so confused about their nature and what they are so i was hesitant to speak about them clearly and describe them. When i read the term my mind went boom.

Anonymous 5810

I can't wait for my mother to die. I can't stand her. I'm happy when she is sad or cries or suffers.

Anonymous 5811

lolcow users are the worst in this regard. don't even give the slightest bit of information about yourself around these people. if there are psychos out there who collect information about people to fuck them over when they feel like, they're browsing lolcow for sure.

Anonymous 5819

>but rather mentally ill people willing to collect information about yourself to bring you down to feel better about themselves.
Just described a majority of my worst experiences with people, and they may have made me what I am today. A lot of it is why I bloomed. I don't think it's very overtly "dark", but I know I have a trait that can be extremely damaging to me: which is that I now always believe I'm right on matters of reading people or listening to my gut instinct. I've become more and more manipulative because I know how people act and how to direct their behaviors.

Just enjoy what you want as long as it hurts no one. A lot of people in that genre do not fathom any real stuff, but even if you found yourself desiring the real thing, it's okay as long as you know better than to act on it. Compromising your morals is done through an act, not a thought.

Anonymous 5820

Relatable . Sometimes I believe my mother was taken away from me at a young age so that I can live a happier life. She was mentally ill, abusive and tried to kill me and my brother several times (hence my cptsd and trauma well into my 30s). I remember praying to some sort of higher power or deity to protect me from harm and abuse every day without fail since the day I learnt how to speak. I like to think my prayers were answered eventually.

Anonymous 5821

I've made peace with this years ago but there's a genre of shota that involves girls or adult woman torturing shotas that is really fucked up but it did something for me. Probably a result of deep seated hatred of men but I don't want to have these kind of thoughts even relating to fiction

Anonymous 5870

Me too, i kind of understand where it comes from for me, and that’s the saddest part kek

Anonymous 5874

when i was a teen i fantasized about a worm parasite killing me and eating me from the inside.
no one would let me kill myself and if i died that way at least i would be use for something.

Anonymous 5890

Speaking of worms, ive had fantasies of worms eating my corpse when i’m dead. It gives me a tickling sensation and it’s kind of nice

Anonymous 5939

I also hate people. I hate everything about them especially since working in customer service. Seen some things I can't unsee after I got stalked. The fun never ends. I would probably wipe out a 3rd of the human population if I had the power too. Pedophiles, child abusers, fascist politicians, deranged sick men right wing nuts. I would yeet them all into hell.

Anonymous 6277


I used to think I'm the in the same boat, never had a preference to realistic looking drawing over anime stuff, but this past month I kinda stumbled upon a very good straight shota fic on AO3 and it since literally lived in my head rent free. I swear its the only good /ss/ fic I've ever read since it stands alone among the obvious moid wish fulfilment for mommy fantasy. The mc is mental and second rereading really makes me realize the way she's been describing and enabling the boy since beginning, so theres that. It read like an well written excuse in some parts, plus some weird pacing and plot kinda alerted me that parts of it may came from irl experience, which just kinda excites me even more despite other parts being obvious fantasy rosy scenarios. The fic also used those avatar maker for the main charas and it helped the visualization.

It's hard not to get attached, altough its realism also deters me since the kid is annoying and it reminds me of how annoying actual kids can be. Altough, how'd calmer and manageable he became after "rewards" are given.. is another thoughts entirely that I wont ever test for myself.

Pic related is from the fic. How'd I once styled my hair like that few years back also didnt help at all from not engrossing myself in that character :)

Anonymous 6288

I haven't been to any doctor in years except for a psychiatrist, and only to get the same meds I've been on for years. I secretly hope I have cancer or some other disease that will kill me suddenly, or that I only find when it's too late. That way I can die without killing myself and no one will feel guilty.

Anonymous 6329

I understand why people go postal too. I don't agree with them, but it isn't hard for me to understand why someone would do it. My life is so monotonous and I try so hard to do right thing and be a good person (at least my idea of a good person), even when it doesn't seem like it'll pay off and I'll still be unhappy for the rest of my life. And I know it's not just me since everyone suffers in their own way, even people who are rich or beautiful or whatever. To be a good citizen, you're expected to put up with so much and go to work everyday and function properly all the time and it makes sense that a lot of people just can't do it. It must be freeing to do something so antisocial/anti-societal and live even just a few minutes where you could just do anything and not give a fuck before killing yourself. Maybe one of the few times you feel like you have control and actual freedom in your otherwise monotonous, insignificant life.

Those are just thoughts I have though. I understand them, but I would never actually want to hurt someone. Part of the reason I'm so miserable all the time is because I am so aware of how everyone is suffering and it's not just me. I wouldn't want to add to anyone else's pain when we're all going through enough. It's part of the reason I also have a hard time killing myself. Please don't track me down feds. I promise I have never even touched a gun in my life.

Anonymous 6333

When my dog and mom die I'm going to blow my brains out because I'll have absolutely nothing to live for anymore.

Anonymous 6363

I like to imagine of all the ways I could murder my best friends girlfriend, or otherwise make her life hopeless and miserable. Sometimes I like to think of all the ways I'd torture her, or make her feel worthless or maime herself. How I could make her already dysfunctional family worse or get close to and use her narc mother against her. How I could put her young siblings in worse positions via this and in exchange hold her emotionally hostage while pretending to be her friend/confidant.

I think if they weren't living on the other side of the world right now I'd have gotten really close to her just to figure out how I could take that closeness away from her. I want to prey on her low self esteem. I want her to kill herself, but slowly. I want her to make herself unappealing to my friend so my friend is not hurt by her downfall - I love my friend. I just don't like her.

Sometimes I rub one out to the idea of making her literally eat my shit. I find something like that to be the most disgusting possible thing and I'm no scat fetishist or anything of that type, it's purely the desire to coerce her to willfully do something like that - to display how disgusting she is and how below me.

If my friend dated some other girl I'd be okay with it. It's just this one I truly can't stand. She reminds me of some weak creature that gets constantly preyed upon in life because everything can sense she is like that. Not in a way it should be protected or loved, but in a way it should just be abused until it's out of the gene pool.

I genuinely hope something truly awful happens to her, even without my intervention. But I think truly the most satisfying outcome would be if she just disappeared off the face of this earth, with no one to miss her, and no one remembered her. As if she never existed. God I hope some freak final destination tier event happens and her head gets lopped off.

Anonymous 6364

I have this urge sometimes to whore myself out. Not out of real desire for it or for money, but because i hate myself so much and i feel like i was so used by men anyway and they don't see me as a human being so might as well go all out and prostitute myself. It even feels more logical than searching for love, love is an illusion because moids are unable to feel love, so whoring myself at least would make it so i don't fall for the idea of being loved by these demons. Also, it would destroy my mind so much that i would probably finally suicide, which is a good thing because i'm just wasting time being alive tbh.

Anonymous 6370

As stupid as it sounds im afraid that i'll accidentally end up abusing my lover out of "love." Ive been weirdly violent and obsessive to every one of my crushes.

But at the same time, i have a fantasy of abusing them, like isolating them and forcing them to feel like im the only one who cares about them so they stick with me no matter what i do or how much i hurt them.

Anonymous 6372

Moid hands typed this

Anonymous 6374

Sometimes I think I’m a female lolicon but not in a sexual way.

Anonymous 6375

I don't donate organs because I want carnists to die.

Anonymous 6379

I read this out loud to my friend and we are cracking up at u. thanks for the giggle

Anonymous 6380

I want to send this to a random number and say “sorry wrong person”

Anonymous 6387

Do it do it do it

Anonymous 6391

>I rub one out to the idea of making her literally eat my shit
kill yourself scrote

Anonymous 6393

Anonymous 6394

The idea of someone doing this made me laugh out loud HAH

Anonymous 6395

>Sometimes I rub one out to the idea of making her literally eat my shit.
Hello, QUEEN department?

Anonymous 6396

It just sounds like you will stew in histrionic exasperation until the day you die. On the contrary you sound so easy to manipulate and screw with, its like you live for the people you hate and enjoy nothing. The person probably has no idea you even exist half the time, nor do they care and if they did they'd just think you're batshit insane.

Anonymous 6397

Mental department maybe

Anonymous 6398

I thought I was crazy for being obsessive but you’re straight up rancid and terrible. I was feeling pretty depressed about my self for a good 2 hours until I saw this. You may have saved my life with your degeneracy, so thank you.

Anonymous 6399

Hello, MEDS department? Yeah we need you to lock this poster up where he can't hurt anyone with his violent moid tendencies and samefaggery.

Anonymous 6400

Sometimes I can't tell the difference between trannyposting and just a regular pick-me woman, but this particular sentiment gave you away:

>If my friend dated some other girl I'd be okay with it. It's just this one I truly can't stand. She reminds me of some weak creature that gets constantly preyed upon in life because everything can sense she is like that. Not in a way it should be protected or loved, but in a way it should just be abused until it's out of the gene pool.

Only moids think in terms of this highly autistic logic

Anonymous 6402

I can’t speak to whether or not that poster is really a woman or not, but I’ve felt that way about moids before. It’s not a kind of thinking that’s exclusive to them.

Anonymous 6414

I could never actually self-harm and have no desire to, but sometimes while cooking over my stovetop on high heat I've wondered what it would feel like putting my hands on it. I've feel the same about what exactly it would feel like to put my hand inside dangerous sharp objects, like a spinning blender or fan. It's just my morbid curiosity. Probably not some kind of BIID, because I don't feel any impulse strong enough to actually go through with it, like that guy who cut his own legs off on Maury just to see what it would be like to be disabled.

Anonymous 6415


dear god

Anonymous 6416

why do you dislike her so much? o__o

Anonymous 6417

Dunno she seems based for making you seethe this much just for simply existing and cucking you at the same time (I do not believe there is no jealousy involved in this)

Anonymous 6418

Get better at samefagging loser

Anonymous 6419

I want to be raped

Anonymous 6421

yeah okay empathchan

Anonymous 6448

I have intrusive thoughts about castrating every member of my family to put an end to this cursed bloodline

Anonymous 6449

Try summoning incubus?

Anonymous 6450

Stop telling people to do that lmfao

Anonymous 6451


How would that help her

Anonymous 6453

Sometimes I have nightmares where my dogs die violently

Anonymous 6647

Sometimes I wish my twin brother never existed. Or that we could switch places and he could see exactly why I am the way I am. I’m so utterly jealous of his success and lack of mental issues. It’s not fair. Why am I the disappointment in our family?

I wish one of my “friends” would die of suicide. She’s so absurdly annoying and childish, and around other people it looks like we get along well or even worse - behave similar. I hate this stuttering braindead loser so much, I really just want her dead. It would not only spare me of her draining presence but also legitimize and validate my state by making my parents believe I’m also this capable. Aka give me more NEET justification points.

I wish I could be capable of murder just to go to jail and not have to work for a living and sometimes I’m scared that the only thing keeping me from doing it aren’t morals, but the thought that there’s no internet, no good books or tasty food, and my friends wouldn’t visit me if I had done that.

I’ve recently read about Sarco and tried to figure out for how long I would have to work just to afford it and then if it’s even worth it if you have to undergo tests to get the code to unlock the euthanizing button. I hate this bullshit so fucking much. And I hate myself for not being able to kill myself diy style without fancy painless methods I can’t afford.
Why can’t we just sign a paper and get euthanized like animals? I’m not even that valuable to capitalism, I don’t buy meds/for therapy, I don’t pay taxes, I don’t work, won’t give birth to future wageslaves, nothing.
Why tf would they keep me alive? I hate it so much I’m so tired of feeling bad for not wanting to do anything of value because I see no point. I only do things sometimes to pretend it’s all under control in front of parents because I’m scared of them.

My life is such a waste. With all the junk I eat and my lack of any hygiene or movement at this point I’m just praying for a random heart attack.

Anonymous 6651

I have a deep hatred for severely autistic men like ChrisChan, even worse for autistic trannies.
Now, I don't hate men at all. I get shit from defending them in places like this. I don't hate autistic people in general, my best friend is autistic herself. I don't even hate trannies in general, just the really annoying or abusive ones.
But for some reason I feel an extreme hate for people like ChrisChan. Even his face angers me and makes me want to smash it with a hammer. I even get sexually aroused from thinking about the kind of physical, mental and emotional abuse I'd like to inflict on a subhuman like that.
Like, I would be absolutely up for leading them on and ruining their worthless lives. Get them into deep debt, make them mutilate their useless bodies, cucking them in their faces and all kinds of fucked up shit.
I also have a slightly less fucked up view on downies. I don't hate them but I don't really see them as people, more like human pets.
I swear I'm not a bad person but this is like my deepest, darkest fantasy.

Anonymous 6657

this is just a positive drive to weed out dysgenic males. nothing wrong with that.

Anonymous 6679

i desperatly want to tell the whole world about my currently messed up family situation, how i have been emotionaly religously abused, how much i want to move out, how the only person i trust and who is my best friend is my boyfriend, how i always think about art even if i dont draw every day, and how im deconstructing my faith and its all very scary to confess aloud, i could never even make a /adv/ post about this on 4chan or even go on reddit out of fear someone will screenshot it and one of my family members will find out… maybe when i move in with my bf i will

Anonymous 6710

i want to hire a gay rapist to rape a cute boy in front of me

Anonymous 6712

A lot of peoples problems here would be fixed if you just eat a snack or ice cream. Low blood sugar makes people angry

Anonymous 6717

Veganism thoughts

Anonymous 6835

These aren’t the darkest thoughts I’ve ever had lol but I definitely feel like I’m being a little weird. I’m at a point in my life where I realize if I wanted to, I can manipulate people to do what I want and I like having a sense of control. I know for sure this comes from traumatic situations where I felt like I had no control over things. I am wearing more “feminine” stuff and styling myself to be feminine and trying to become more charming and sweet so I can have (mostly men) do what I want. I have a boyfriend and I have been testing these actions on him, basically using my feminine charm to have him do things for me. (Obviously with other men it’s not me flirting with them, but when you know a man likes to feel strong/have attention on him you could talk him up a bit and ask him to get / do something strenuous for you, like a man should.). I guess to ME it feels very weird/wrong because I’ve been so meek and shy all my life.

Anonymous 6838

Thats really common, people use your vulnerability to make you feel worthy and get what they want from you in the process. Like a dude opening a jar for you, he feels so good while you got your pickles without much effort, A win win situation. Life is full of murky intentions and actions

Anonymous 6963


Just hope someone who ages like Ralph Machio pops up into your life. Jacob Sartorious is 20.

Anonymous 6968

How does he look the same

Anonymous 6969

Oh no…
I think Ralph Macchio in the 80s/90s is the hottest guy ever, with his cute haircut and big, sweet eyes. And I see nothing attractive in guys like Brad Pitt, they all look generic and a dime a dozen.
Does that mean I'm a shotacon too?

Anonymous 6978

He's the same cause he's 20 but looks preteen

Anonymous 6979

Baby faced moids in their 20s are extremely rare. It almost feels like an abomination walking among us.

Anonymous 7065


I have a fantasy that morphs into a comforting scenario, sexual stuff or self-harm and suicidal ideation fiel and it's been with me for many years. It always involves getting kidnapped and taken away to another to a fancy party where this specific stalker is waiting for me to take me away for good. Sometimes it goes horny and I believe that's how it started or it's soothing for other reasons but all the time recently it goes somewhat like this: I realize there's no turning back, that I'll never see my family again or have my life back. Either relieved to be able to kill myself without actively hurting anyone else or bitter as a last resort, I take a glass of wine from one of them, break it on the table and slit my wrist. Then, I look for my pulse and slice my carotid open. I bleed in front of them peacefully, and mentally apologize to my loved ones or pray, and then it's over or it reboots slighlty different. I'm tired of it, it's too often and occupies so much space. I can't stop it and don't know how to, but I wish I did

Anonymous 7066

i actually wanted to make this a thread but guess ill just post it here
i can't find anything on the internet about this so maybe any of you might relate or provide me with the correct words to describe what i mean
so basically DID (dissociative identity disorder) is like a disorder where you have multiple identities or personalities (called alters) without your consent, so you can't do anything about them, they just exist due to trauma etc.
now, i don't have DID. but hear me out on this. does something like DID exist but instead of having alters without your consent, you intentionally have alters? like, you decide to have them?
okay so i'm a pretty passive, boring girl who isn't into partying, being a bad girl, drinking alcohol, i don't have an exciting life or personality… you get the picture. tbh idk if i even have a personality at all;
sometimes when i walk through the city i like to pretend to have a whole different personality and i have fun doing that. i can be the bubbly girl who's interested in the plushies in a cute shop one day or a classy that-girl in a coffee shop with her laptop the other day or dress streetstyle baggy clothes and act like a cool kid in a thrift store etc. it's not just the clothes, but my whole mind and thoughts basically adjust to that personality type that i make up in my mind. but it doesn't stay with that. sometimes i pretend to be a foreigner in my own city and act like a tourist and ask for exciting stuff to experience in the city (that i know very well lol) and the scaziest thing so far is this: well actually i'm asexual but when i'm with my boyfriend i can decide to be very sexual, it's an act but i'm good at it and i enjoy 'playing' that role, just like all the other rolls / alters / personalities / identities i play so much.
idk if this is phenomenon has a name, if so, please tell me.
and idk if this is like problematic or not. tbh i don't feel like i'm interested without those made up personalities, but i know they are not part of me, or are they? i rarely use a personality twice, expect for the sexual alter i have for sexual activities.
i'm not english and i didn't try to write without mistakes so excuse me madams

Anonymous 7070

I don't know if this helps but I feel the exact same way (even thinking I had did at one point) and it turns out that is a symptom of having borderline. Like the fluidity of personality depending on the situation/what you want to be

Anonymous 7092

I want to kill my methhead mother

Anonymous 7093

And i want to kill my schizophrenic sister and brother. hurray!

Anonymous 7095

why is this so funny LOL

Anonymous 7099

Sometimes i wish i had a brother so i could date him since i was a kid, like a blood-love connection since childhood. I know its incest but i think its way more romantic than meeting some moid on tinder. The only downside is that he would probably be ugly like me.

Anonymous 7100

I'm like you! I think for me, it's like wanting multiple personalities at once because life is too short, and if you only get one life I'd want to do everything in this life.

Anonymous 7101

This sounds romantic in theory but terrible in real life. Romance isn’t like real life and i imagine an incestious relationship would be full of fucked up things. I suggest you read incest romance novels instead.

Anonymous 7118

>an incestious relationship would be full of fucked up things
like what for example? i dont want kids so no inbred. society would probably judge us but nothing prevents us from moving to a cabin in the middle of the forest
>incest romance novels
yeah i usually read these! I just read a book called Les bienveillantes where the main character has this kind of relationship and I loved the story. I think it's the only way to fulfill my desires since I'm too old to have a brother

Anonymous 7138

> Les bienveillantes

That was a really fucked up book and the incest fantasy subplot was not a romantic story at all, I worry about you nona

Anonymous 7141

images - 2022-12-1…

Have you also read this book? I know it's a classic but I hardly see anyone talking about it, maybe because it's so long and dense. Sorry if I implied it was a romance book with the main plot of an incestuous couple, that's not the main theme of the book. I quote it here because I don't usually read a lot of romance/smut books. At least I never found one that was good, if anyone wants to recommend me one that has some kind of incestuous relationship please feel free! Anyway, what I meant was that I wanted someone to think about me the way the protagonist thinks about his sister. Even when he dates other men or when he marries someone, he always thinks about his sister and puts her on a pedestal because of the relationship they had when he was a kid. I've also read in an article by Freud (I know there are a lot of people who say it's bullshit but hear me out) that the experiences that mark you the most in life are the ones you have in childhood. I wish i had a blood-love connection with my brother in my childhood like the protagonist of the book had with his sister than to have been an only child and have suffered parental neglect alone. You're right to say it's a fucked up book, I was wrong to say I loved the story, it's a tragedy after all. I reiterate what I said earlier, I didn't love this story, I identified with the protagonist's journey.
>I worry about you
I thank you for your concern but theres nothing to worry about! I know that now that I am of legal age I will never be able to experience a "pure" relationship with a moid like those experienced in childhood. I'm straight but I refuse to enter the current dating scene and have to deal with men who only think about getting laid and that its wrong to ask women on dates because of this "simp" thing. You can say what you want about the protagonist, you can say that he was a nazi, gay, cold but you can't say that he didn't love his sister and that he wouldn't give his life for her. I will never get that kind of devotion from a man to me because it's too late for me. From a very early age I already knew that it was too late for me. Anyway, sorry for the long rant nona, I'm glad I found someone who also knows this book. Les bienveillantes and Death in Venice were my favorite reads of the year if you know other books like this please let me know!

Anonymous 7146

nona you are weird. not the "i forgot to take my meds" type of weird but the "i will enter a cult" type of weird. take care of yourself.

Anonymous 7147

Dark fantasy?
Beating up and killing trannies, and other moids. When I open the news and I see some degenerate shit a male has done to women, girls, or even just animals, I open my playlist and fantasize about killing them. I go on TERF spaces and I always see feminists talk about not "stooping to their level" or "being the bigger person". But not me. When I see scrotes and trannies act like monsters, I just wanna take a sledgehammer and end them. I think about chaining rapists up and absolutely torturing them for months until they finally die of exhaust or infection or some shit. Other times, I just wanna show up at the houses of horrible trannies I met on the internet and just shoot them point blank in their stupid faces. Sometimes, I even wish I was like six feet tall and super athletic so that I can just beat the shit out of any troon or regular scrote that would try to harass me. Hold them down and pepper-spray their eyes for thirty full seconds, or even a full minute. I fantasize of being a serial killer for trannies and scrotes. Torturing the tranny or the regular scrote for months (again), restricting them to a chair with all their clothes off, recording their agony, and forcing the darkweb to see these males apologize for every violence, threat, or even just degrading insult they did to women and girls. Viewers watching them sob and plead any female watcher to forgive them. Hang them upside down by their testicles for as long as they last right after, and then behead them when I'm done. Throw acid or bricks at the heads tranny celebs who spend their social media bullying women and girl rape victims. Take the lives of the most vile trannie scrotes or scrote-scrotes and make them see a woman's face as the last image they'll ever see in their final seconds of life.

Anonymous 7156

every human alive is the product of rape and murder within the past 3 generations, so we've basically been bred like pitbulls for thousands of years where the most violent men produce the most offspring (eg gengis khan). we can't produce decent males because our entire species has already been completely ruined genetically, maybe forever.

Anonymous 7158

When you put it like that, the future is rather grim..

Anonymous 7673

>like what for example
No one practices incest in the real world unless they’re psychotic or mentally disabled or both because incest is extremely taboo and breaking that barrier takes one of the two to go through with it. There’s also the matter of power dynamics, where the older might be taking advantage/groom the younger sibling etc.. just a few things i could think of rn

Anonymous 7674


I understand your arguments but I can't help but think that there are so many worse things that were once taboo and have become normal. I doubt that these furry events would have been accepted back in the day but now they are. And also about power dynamics, they also occur in normal relationships when one is older and more experienced than the other anyway.
>mentally disabled
Maybe you're right and I really am. I know it's no use arguing here because my childhood is over and I'll never be able to have pure love, but even so I like to fantasize about a happy childhood with someone who loves me unconditionally. Maybe in another life.

Anonymous 7675


Incest is common, that's why the taboo is so strong. Just look up the number of child abuse; most of them happen in families.
A taboo is a social tool to fight a behavior. If the taboo is strong, it's a sign that the behavior is 1/common 2/has a high social cost.

Anonymous 7677


there's nothing wrong with incest, intrinsically, so even if i dislike the idea i don't think there is anything wrong with you nona. you actually sound sweet and level headed, the average cc user by now would have reacted quite aggressively to the responses you've gotten so far.
incest becomes wrong when there are things that would make any relationship wrong: having kids with genetic issues, sexual assault, grooming etc. as you pointed out.
outside of these, incest is pretty much like any other relationship.
i think the people getting outraged are having an emotional reaction to it. i can understand, because i like to believe that there is such thing as sacred relationships and an ability of humans to love without the implication of sex. family bonds immediately come to mind in that sense. so when we bring up incest, it's a bit like saying there are no boundaries, morals or true pure love, because of the looming sexual component to it when there shouldn't be none. this is how i feel about it too. but i don't like thinking emotionally and i recognize that an incest relationship doesn't have to be necessarily full of the issues i described previously (although most of them unfortunately are).

Anonymous 7678

Anon I just want to say i’m not calling you mentally disabled i’m calling people who would go through with it that. Most of them have some form of personality disorder like aspd or npd or autism anything that wouldnt render it as shameful in their brain. As far as i know you’re not in an incestious relationship since you dont even have a brother. And i’m not judging you for your thoughts, i’m not the thought police.

Anonymous 7679


I don't understand the sex drive of someone who would fuck an immediate relative. I get that a person you've known since childhood can be romantically appealing, but the fact that they're your family should instinctually, and morally be a turnoff. To me, people who act on incest like that have something hardwired wrong with their minds, but this thread is meant for that so

Anonymous 7681

That is what I’m saying

Anonymous 7688

If picrel is meant to be supporting your post then I kek.

Anonymous 7691


Thank you for being reasonable and sweet too nona! I understand that it's a sensitive topic and can provoke disgusted reactions like this one >>7146. I was looking for more about sibling incest relationships in art and I came across this painting (pic related) by a german artist named Max Beckman. Apparently he made an adaptation of the medieval Nibelungen saga in which the two protagonist who were siblings had an incestuous relationship where the sword on the painting between them represents the taboo of society and the only way for them to embrace each other was to get hurt and cut by the sword. Needless to say, the artist had a lot of criticism for his work. If at the beginning of the 20th century people already had emotional reactions to this topic, today it is much worse. Which is ridiculous, in my opinion, because art is meant to make you feel something and not to be pretty or reasonable.
>i like to believe that there is such thing as sacred relationships and an ability of humans to love without the implication of sex.
You're right but that part really got to me. I don't want to self-psychoanalyze because it's hard to talk about it without getting emotional but I've never had a father or mother figure that had that kind of sacred relationship with me. Like a true love familiar bond. I think my historic of parental emotional neglect prevents me from seeing the sibling relationship as something sacred since I never had anything like that and probably never will. But there are other ways to cope besides having that kind of fantasy. That way of thinking doesn't make sense and doesn't help me.
I really don't think it's common nona. I believe that abuse in family is common, like a father and a daughter, which happens more because the abuser has more contact with the victim than anything else. But the kind of incestuous relationship that happens simply because they're connected by blood as i said before, I don't think is common. And yes, this type of relationship really has a high social cost.
>To me, people who act on incest like that have something hardwired wrong with their minds
Yes I think so too. To be honest I'm feeling dumb after reading the answers here and thinking about it. Even if I had a brother I don't think he would be the idealized version I have in my mind of him. He wouldn't be like the protagonist of the book Les bienveillantes and would probably be more like me. I guess even though I have this incest fantasy I wouldn't act on it if I had a brother. This all made me think that it's important to talk to someone even about the weird stuff like that because you can get a reality check about things. In the german book Death in Venice that I quoted earlier one of the reasons the protagonist increased his obsession with the handsome polish tourist was because he had no one to talk to about it as he was a lonely man and homosexuality was not well regarded in the 20th century. I'm glad I can say what I think here at least. Thanks for the nonas who answered my post.

Anonymous 7692

Nah I just wanted a pic. I find that there are so few of them while we are on an image board.

Anonymous 7693

Relatable, except my muse isn't legal but I don't know how old he is. Very unfortunate. Mine is also so boyish but also does not look underage. He's like an adonis. Your fantasies sound nice, if only we lived in a society where we could keep handsome men as pets…

Anonymous 7709

this is an old post so not sure if anon is going to see this but would you be comfortable saying what fic or fandom it is? it sounds so unlike what I normally read but im morbidly curious

Anonymous 7718

cherry mask.PNG

I sometimes imagine myself wearing guro lolita and this mask going on a mass stabbing spree on trannies.

Anonymous 7720

cannibalizing, drugging, sexually assaulting, and killing podophilic men. This is more of an intrusive thought/ fantasy to keep me from actually punching the fuck out of someone in real life. I think it's still pretty fucked though.

Anonymous 7734

i have a bpd obsession with one of my they/them internet friends. even though she's older than me and 20kg heavier i have an urge to be just like her. she mentioned vaguely in the past that she was raped (she called it "non conned") and i sometimes wish i could be raped too to prove i'm as good as her.

Anonymous 7736

shooting up the hospital i got my rights violated at

Anonymous 7738

>(she called it “non conned”)
I’m sorry… the fact that you felt the need to mention it between brackets or that she even said it is hilarious…

Anonymous 7742

I feel like it is written in my fate that I will commit murder at some point in my life. As I grow older, the feeling that I am just suppressing the urges to set myself free from the shackles of ordinary life only grows stronger. I was born into a life I wasn't meant for and I do not want to exist as a woman in a world where I have no choice but to endure the horrors of males. The least I can do is to make my mark and a statement.

Anonymous 7779


not super dark but sometimes I just feel like saying fuck it and commit internet fraud

Anonymous 7781

wishing you a very get-away-with-murder, nona.

Anonymous 7785

>(she called it "non conned")
fanfiction and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race

Anonymous 7786

>set myself free from the shackles of ordinary life
But you would end up in prison shackles and never be able to see the outside world again.

Anonymous 7790

I like to draw and paint dead children and I particularly look for true crime cases involving children to listen to. My baby sister died when I was a kid and already had a somewhat obsession with the morbid. It's not sexual, I just keep feeding these stories and imagery in my head. I feel like if I became pregnant I would develop some sort of mental illness.

Anonymous 7803

I have an elaborate fantasy life I live out inside my head. I am in this fantasy life but I'm not myself. I view this life from the perspective of "Peter", a fictional moid who keeps the fantasy version of myself captive. It only recently occured to me how dark these thoughts are when I realized I daydream about doing horrible things to myself so casually. It's not a sexual fantasy. It's just a second life I live inside my head. I have no idea why I've constructed an elaborate world in my head that only serves to torture an imaginary version of myself

Anonymous 7817

Do you have a Deviantart account?

Anonymous 7848

I don't post these because I get self conscious but I'm considering now… I'll leave a link when I do

Anonymous 7941

I'd like to see these too. I have always been drawn to imagery of dead children.

Anonymous 8021

Same. I can't find it now, but there was this quote by a murderer that really fascinated me. He talked about how after he did it, he looked at the corpse and realized he could now NEVER go back. You know? Once you've killed someone, you've shifted your entire reality, your future, everything. A couple of stabs and literally everything changes. That's the closest you, as a person, can get to reality shifting/jumping timelines.

Anonymous 8022

dont you worry saying this online will get you into trouble somehow if you ever do go through with this in the future?

Anonymous 8023

I won't actually go through with it because I'm not a scrote.

Anonymous 8024

I want to eat someone. The thing that disuades me from it the most is fear of diseases like hepatitis. I don't want hepatitis.

Anonymous 8030

I'd like to be eaten instead of buried or incinerated when I die. By people or animals, doesn't matter. I don't understand why people hate the idea. Make me into hamburgers for all I care.

Anonymous 8040

What kind of meat would you want to be made into? Sausage links, hamburger, etc?

Anonymous 8054

edgy shit:
I used to be very careless with my health. I would stand up just to immediately faint, and sob… It was a terrible feeling to be so incapable, but I could see myself as an external observer and how attractive it was from the outside.
There's someone I love, and he's already very weak, but I want to see him become weaker. I want to swap sides, I want him on the edge of death, where I was.
I'll never speak to him, I embarrass myself so badly whenever I speak. I wish I had him alone, just watching him slowly fade.

Anonymous 8071

I got strangled once and passed out and it was lowkey fun, it wasn't sexual at all

Anonymous 8078

i have an intense fear of losing my teeth and i some how represed it into something sexual and have fantasies of having my teeth being pulled out by a guy, its certainly intensified over time to different fantasies of being chopped up or killed during sex

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