ITT: Not wanting to start a family! Anonymous 24533
Let's talk about not wanting to start a family. Do any of you anons not want to have any kids? If so, why?
does one even need a reason at all? For those who do want children, why is it? Post your thoughts and opinions on children and family - maybe talk a little about your own family and if possible what your BF/GF think about it.
Personally, I don't really want to have kids of my own, but it seems every one of my friends and their partners can't wait for it.
I can't wrap my head around why anyone would enjoy it? I dont hate children, I actually really enjoy them and love working with kids, but having kids of my own just isn't something I want.
I'm too screwed up to have kids. I barely manage myself.
In a similar thread someone made the point
>but anon, motherhood rewires your brain
But it clearly didn't do that to my mother. I also wonder to what extent my maturity is stunted from marijuana use. Anyway I'm not fit to be a parent, more people like me should think like this.
When I think about it, I wouldn't mind going either route, which makes me wonder if I'd regret having children because I lack maternal drive. When I was younger I hated kids and I would judge people who wanted them. Nowadays even though I usually can't be bothered interacting with kids, I find their innocence so sweet.
I don't want kids because raising them is a lot of hard work, and I can barely take care of my own ass as I've had major depression for the last 8 or so years. I don't dislike kids, they can be nice to hangout with for awhile but I can't stand babysitting for even a day. It's too fucking tiring trying to keep another human being in line while they're bouncing off the walls 24/7. Kids are like psychic vampires or some shit.
I'm a pretty angry person and I don't want to unload all of that onto a kid either. It wouldn't be right.
I also find the notion of childbirth to be really scary and off-putting. I wouldn't want to die by getting my cooch ripped open.
>b-but modern medicine!!
Yeah, it still happens though.
>For those who do want children, why is it?
I always knew I wanted kids some day. It wasn't planned but I'm pregnant now, and while I was scared for the future at first because I didn't think I was ready, the closer I get to the due date the more excited and hopeful I become for the future. I love my family and I want to experience having my own, my family is the most important thing in the world to me.
I'm just really bad with kids, i don't know if i ever will have kids of my own but if i suddenly want kids when I'm older i want to adopt.
No I don't want to have kids, it's one of my biggest fears to see my hypothetical child becoming a junkie or a prostitute because I couldn't show them the right way. Or pass my autism on to them.
I'm not even 20 yet so who knows what I'll say in the future about that.
I'm terrible with kids, I don't know how to treat them. They are a huge money drain too and the cons seem to outweigh the benefits. I like living by myself, having a husband or kids would stress me out. If I were to have kids, I would have to give up my hobbies too.
This is probably going to sound autistic/edgy as fuck but I don't think being alive is worth it. The times when I feel happy don't really make up for the times when I feel nothing or negative emotions. I was raised Christian so I think about hell a lot and feel fear about how much I'll suffer after I die. I wouldn't want a potential kid to feel that way.
I really like kids but I'm always unsure about whether to have them or not in the future. I reeeeaaaallly don't wanna get pregnant, I've heard enough horror stories about all the shit it puts you through, even after it's over, and I absolutely don't want any of that. So if I ever decided to get kids I'd probably adopt, and also (this might sound bad lol) but it'd be good bc I mostly can't stand babies and their messes and sounds, and they creep me out in a way. But i realise liking to spend time around kids and taking care of them are very different things, like you can't take a break from looking after children, they're a 24/7 burden on almost all aspects of your life, and it sounds scary and overwhelming. So it's just a mixed subject for me with plenty of pros and cons, so idk.
Is it realistic to want to get married but not have children of my own?
Yep, it's realistic.
Also homosexuals do it all the time so we can too.
Every married couple I know in their 30s who initially felt that way had an oops baby and they like being parents now lol.
Both me and my bf don't want kids. We are in out early 20s so our views on it could easily change with time. He has spoke about how he would only ever want one kid if he was to become a father though.
Thinking about having children is something I don't enjoy at the moment. I don't want to live life with the restrictions and responsibility of a child.
I only consider myself + my partner my family. I've come to accept that I'm probably broken in this specific aspect, I feel literally nothing towards children and even the thought of having them is foreign to me. I do have some maternal instincts, but they're all aimed at pampering my man.
As for why, who knows. My parents did an okay job, I'm financially stable, physically/mentally healthy and I think I would make a good mom if motherhood was something I would be at least somewhat interested in. My brain just doesn't even consider the possibility. Getting pregnant and having kids is something other people do, not me. And for what it's worth, I'm in my 30s and if -god forbid- I had an accident, I would definitely abort it.
I'm conflicted on this, because of something deeply personal I can't say. don't accuse me of bait, I'm saying this for myself, not for others.
I did want kids once.. but my situation changed and I ended up with no friends again, and I don't think I wanna try socalizing again.
Who knows what might happen, I don't know what I want. as I said already, I actually have something deeply personal about myself that's deeply controversial. So it would actually offend people if I had a baby, even for myself.
I hate kids. I've always hated kids. I have severe financial issues along with depression and a measure of sociopathy (as in the zero empathy kind, not the edgelord kind.) Drives me nuts that when I get a boyfriend it's a gamble whether he gets baby rabies and causes the relationship to fall apart or not. Even if you're upfront with men they can change their mind or think you're just joking or whatever retardation their problem is. Men never take women seriously when we say anything, they always assume they can manipulate you to become what they want you to be like you're a doll with neither will nor agency of your own.
I come from a very broken family. "Family" itself, as a concept or mere word, makes me feel disgusted and uneasy. If some kid ever called me "mommy" I'd have an urge to kill him, and I know I would have that urge, so I don't want kids. I'd rather avoid situations that would cause an issue like that to arise. I'm trying to be responsible. I don't want to abuse kids, but it would be in my nature to. I'm the last person in the world who should have a kid. Just wish people would respect my choice and not give me a bunch of bullshit like "you'll change your mind" or "you don't know what you want." Like no, excuse me?
By "no family" you mean as "not getting a husband/boyfriend" or "no kids"?
I dont want kids because im kinda scared of giving birth and my genetics would probably bring out unhealthy baby. My mother had 3 misscarriages before i was born.
I dont mind getting boyfriend and living with him though
>>31402>if some kid ever called me "mommy" I'd have an urge to kill him
You've seen a therapist about this before right.
I've never wanted my own children, I always thought if I wanted a family I would adopt. Mainly because I think everything about pregnancy is disgusting so I would never want to go through it. I've never seen what was so cute about babies either so all this put together i just think being a mother isn't for me.
In my opinion kids arent worth it, but yes thats my opinion its too much money. hospital bills can go as huge as a downpayment for a house a friend of mine is still paying for her child birth medical bills and her kids is like 4 years old atm. Then you have to buy clothing, diapers (boy do they crap a lot), medicine if they sick, and baby formula because some people arent able to breast feed or their kid is born with some alergy has to take a certain baby formula. as they grow older they are prone to accidents or eat things that will harm them and there you go rushing to the hospital and hello hello another huge bill to add up to your debt. then they hit their teens if she is a girl she could end up pregnant and of course youre not gonna let her all on her own with that. if its a guy he might get a girl pregnant and two more mouths to feed to the family. I know I may sound bitter but seriously its more trouble than anything. Honestly I am quite happy on my own, being able to support myself, have my own time, not having to worry about other humans, I dont get why the pressure of society to have kids, like those alt right chicks that are like "if you're not having kids you are useless as a woman" bitch please… I find it so irritating. Dont get my wrong I dont hate kids but yeah I dont want to deal with that commitment.
Having your own time is a good reason for not having kids. If you're doing it the right way, you're going to practically be giving your life to your kids. Money is something else, though. There's community resources and enough aid going around to serve anyone straddling the poverty line with mouths to feed, at least in first world countries. Stuff like formula and baby food is beyond reasoning to think about needing, especially when concerning yourself. Home remedies have existed for far longer, and are far healthier.
yeah but not everyone has the time or access to such things, like I said its just my opinion and I think kids should only be considered if you have money to support them, because its not just the formula, they will want to go to college, you will need to buy clothing, toys, books a lot of things and yeah I know theres foundations that help people in need but also not everyone has access to these. I dont get why people pressure others to have kids if they dont want to nor have the means to have them. I've seen people go in debt because they had a child. but yeah like I said in my earlier post thats my opinion
Thinking about money with kids is a mistake that a lot of would-be parents make. The real problem is time. You should only have kids if you have the time and are willing to give it to them. Even if you're rich beyond your wildest dreams, having no time to spend with them is just cruel. It brings more suffering than an empty stomach ever could. You can always shave your meals, eat light, and practically live like a peasant to ensure they have a more well life than your own. It's actually having the will to raise them that matters the most, and a lot who do don't have it in them.
I guess youre right but it would be very iressponsible to have a child if you know you dont have the means to take care of that child. Thats the big mistake some people make, because they come to a point where they have to choose to either pay the rent or feed your child.
>live like a peasant
yikes… I wonder if theres people like that I know I am not one of them even if I had the money and time to have kids I would not, seriously nothing against kids but yeah just not my cup of tea, I would rather spend all my money on video games or a downpayment for a house. Kids are a waste of money and time in the end in this overpopulated planet. but hey everyone is entitled to their opinions :)
My favorite experience along these lines
Freshman roomie: “I’m never getting married! Ever! And I am saving money to get my tubes tied because I’ll never want kind!”
Sophomore year she had ‘childfree’ buttons on her backpack and was more anti-marriage than ever.
That Summer she was in Georgia doing a Biology project and met some redneck (as in ‘gun rack in his pickup’) and by Winter break Junior year she’d dropped out to marry him and move to Georgia.
By the time I graduated she had a little boy.
I see her on social media - she’s been married about 7 years and she’s up to 4 kids, homeschooling the oldest.
I used to feel a lot of scorn for her, but my mom told me “People are allowed to change their minds. Happens all the time with honest people, actually.”
I currently don’t want marriage & kids, but who knows?
It’s realistic, but you’ll have to be with the sort of man who doesn’t want kids, which in my experience is not a good sort of man to be with long term.
Oh, great, I'm dying alone, without a family and probably despised by people I don't even remember.
Not necessarily, depending on where they are in life, said hypothetical man probably hasn't even thought about kids or developed a stance on kids vs. no kids.
It's more about being receptive to what is best for the relationship once that happens. Of course >>24581
would talk about it with her potential partner before getting married. A decent man will take that into consideration. While many people are vocal about their plan for children or no children, even more people haven't really thought about it to the extent that they can make a mature decision.But of course there's also the issue that there's a dearth of decent men in general, kids or no kids.
They're a waste of time, annoying, and it would make me feel old. I don't get how it is fulfilling to many people it just seems so bland.
Well I won't deny your lack of desire to have kids. Only those willing to give it all they've got actually want them, and there are people like that, by the way. They're the ones having kids. Go figure.>>31424
Why would anyone remember you just to hate you? >>31425You'll never know if you'll find the Georgia hick like that anon talked about. Good people are out there. You just have to bear the worst getting to them.