[ Rules / FAQ ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / x ]

/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

*Text* => Text

**Text** => Text

***Text*** => Text

[spoiler]Text[/spoiler] => Text

Direct Link
Options NSFW image
Sage (thread won't be bumped)

Check the Catalog before making a new thread.
Do not respond to maleposters. See Rule 7.
Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021


tfw no bf Anonymous 10193

Last thread maxxed out: >>>/feels/8844

Admin's post: >>>/feels/10163
>We ban trolls and delete their posts as we find them, but we've also had an influx of new genuine user groups who have clashing ideas of what the board culture should be like. Please report suspected troll posts and we'll take care of the rest.

Anonymous 10194

I will when we're ready!

Anonymous 10197


>We ban trolls and delete their posts as we find them, but we've also had an influx of new genuine user groups

it may have been mentioned but this chan has been posted on a polish karachan.org/b and the amusement you have created with the anonette type femininity inb4 bots, at least let me believe is inconcievable for many so since monday and for next few days ur gonna have shitton of anons from that forum here either posting papa john paul, trolling or other childish shit.

as for myself, I just wanted to say that reading through all of your boards in past few days gave me hope for finding a compassionate clever and loving woman :3 I cant even explain how well you made me feel, call me incel or whatever but I just adore all of yall here and wish u all the best, thank you :3
I know i know, cant sit wid u(YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US)

Anonymous 10198


Anonymous 10199


Good luck, anon!

Anonymous 10200

What makes you think that isn't now?

Anonymous 10204

It's been two days. Wouldn't doing that be scary?

Anonymous 10205

Two days? Really? I got the vibe you two were locked up with each other for a long time. Just stay close to him, for now. This is a short-distance relationship, right?

Anonymous 10207

Don't you believe in the power of love and airplanes?

Anonymous 10212

Anonymous 10215

i like pleasure spiked with pain and music is my aeroplane

its my aeeerooplane

Anonymous 10217

Do you have a bf?

Anonymous 10234

I'm sorry to say, but you can't really complain about not having a boyfriend if you don't put yourself out there. If you're not joining meet up groups, trying to make friends, attending events where you know the sort of men you want congregate then you have zero, zip, de nada right to say how terrible it is that no boy likes you. Try going to dance classes, or joining a group on MeetUp, or - gasp! - make the first move yourself. Shyness is no longer an excuse.

If you ain't trying to meet them, you aren't never to get one.

Anonymous 10235

Like, just to further clarify things with a checklist of questions -

1. How are you changing yourself so that you're a woman a man wants to meet and love? Are you keeping healthy? Are you making an effort with your appearance?
2. What activities are you actually doing that gets you in contact with men? No, browsing some fuckboi's tumblr is not male interaction.
3. What activities are you doing (real life? online?)?
4. Are those activities with meeting men in mind?
5. Are the activities you are doing which are trying get men - are they the activities that draw the men that you want to date? It's all very well saying "Woe is me, I can't find a decent bf", and then revealing to everyone that what you're doing is attending some shitty trading card game event or browsing /r9k/

Ask yourself these needed questions, and respond accordingly.

Anonymous 10236

actually u can complain about anything, prove me wrong

Anonymous 10237

I didn't say you can't complain - I said you had no right to really do so.
It's like someone dying of thirst yet is two feet from a running water source. Sure, you're thirsty and dying of that - but, c'mon… it's your fault if you keep dying of it…

Anonymous 10238

actually i have the right to its a free country

Anonymous 10239

Long distance doesn't work, anon. I thought you two were practically living together, and loving each other for several months at the very least.

Anonymous 10240

You're also using that freedom to good use in dying alone lol. Sort your shit out before complaining about bfs.

Anonymous 10249

Why'd you think that? I told you in the last thread it's a new relationship. Thanks for worrying about me, but we will be fine.

Anonymous 10250

Also you didn't respond.

Anonymous 10252

Starting to sound like an awful person. Starting to retract my hopes.

Anonymous 10253

It's okay, you don't know me. You make a lot of assumptions.

Anonymous 10276


Anonymous 10317


>tfw no bf

Anonymous 10320

Why don't you have a bf?

Anonymous 10321

It'll be ok, anon-chan.

Anonymous 10323


>tfw no traditional looking bf who is submissive in private to you.

Anonymous 10328

That's what I mean, we're so new to each other that I can't ask him to commit to me. It really fucking sucks that we only met each other so recently.

Sometimes I think he's quite detached from any romantic feelings he might have for me, but then I saw him Saturday night and he was so sweet? We had sex, and I cuddled with him on the sofa whilst he watched sports and then we went to bed and cuddled all night…like, that was maybe as good as the sex for me, I didn't realise how much I wanted to be held by him? So when I left in the morning I realised like…oh shit, I'm really in this deep. I'm going to find it so hard to leave him

Anonymous 10331

why would you want a sub bf?

Anonymous 10335

Not that anon, but it's a nice trait if they are submissive only to you. Why wouldn't you want a bf who loves making you happy more than anything? Submissive doesn't mean passive.

Anonymous 10339

It’s quite obviously not though…

Anonymous 10341

I'm guessing you consider yourself a sub. Do you also think you're spineless?

Anonymous 10347

It is not. In fact I believe that submissive men make the best partners.
>wants to make you happy
>pleasant to be around
>genuinely listens and cares about your opinions
>won't fight you and get insecure over dumb things, feeling that he has to prove that he's the man in the relationship
>cares about your pleasure in bed
Of course I'm talking about men who are submissive in a relationship-sense, not only sexually submissive, and not doormats/pushovers towards everyone. Dominant men are really unattractive to me, they always come off as having something to prove, will get offended over silly things because of it, tend to be more abusive, etc. I'm lucky I never had that phase most women go through where they are attracted to assholes.

Anonymous 10351

The male bank worker shook my hand today and he smiled.

Leaving you virgins behind I am now a goddess.

Anonymous 10356

So you're none of those things, because you're "dominant"? I don't like where this kind of thinking is leading to.

Anonymous 10358

Go up to them, and say what's on your mind.

Anonymous 10364

That's not what I was saying, but in general women are taught to be more empathetic, emotionally intelligent, and think about what makes both parties happy. So I believe whether submissive or dominant, women have the potential to be good at either role. Whereas as the typical dominant man doesn't have that sort of mindset, he thinks more along the lines of "how can I manipulate this woman to give me what I want" And even if he means well at first, he can shift very easily into being abusive in that sort of power dynamic.
Also keep in mind I'm not speaking in absolutes. There are women who are selfish just as there are dominant men who are caring and not abusive. I am just speaking from my observations. And I find that men who are submissive in relationships tend to be more loving and caring partners.

Anonymous 10366

Oh yeah? Bet a guy never asked you about the weather. (: I beat you.

Anonymous 10370

That sounds like it could lead to a bit of an ego issue, if get even slightly stronger than him. Probably better to just have someone you can play tug with.

Anonymous 10371

was he near your age or was he a older bloke? NGL if he was close to your age and initiated the conversation he may have wanted to marry you..

Anonymous 10373

my kitty is sitting in my lap and was entranced by this gif

Anonymous 10374


o shit

Anonymous 10380

The fuck does "traditional looking" mean.

Anonymous 10392

do guys like this even exist?

Anonymous 10394

You honestly sound like an insecure man dictating what kind of person that anon can be attracted to, kek.

Anonymous 10400

Amish guy without a beard.

Anonymous 10411


>Go up to them, and say what's on your mind.
>''hey you look hot, wanna be my bf?''
wtf no way

Anonymous 10413

wtf yes way
Don't actually say "bf" in public. Just ask them out.

Anonymous 10415

How the FUCK do I do that? I'm so socially retarded that I have no idea what to do.

Anonymous 10418

Try, anon! You can do it!

Anonymous 10422

i dont wanna ask a guy out tho, that would look weak or clingy or something, im always waiting for them to ask me out

Anonymous 10426

>im always waiting for them to ask me out
This is one of the reasons why you're still alone, anon.

Anonymous 10431

Don't wait, anon. Do it!

Anonymous 10439

Nah, she does care. She's just insecure and that is understandable. She does need to change though.

Anonymous 10527


Just find any event or activity you think you and the guy could enjoy and use these slick moves.

Anonymous 10529


these over-the-top stuff showed in images like that genuinely make me sad seeing as none of them actually look as cute irl. i tried talking to someone once even though i'm super disable when it comes to social interaction, it just creeped them out and then they told others about it and people started avoiding me for the reminder of that school year.

Anonymous 10541

No way nerd, I only like other women

Anonymous 10542

you don't like ugly, beta, british men who try to pick up chicks from niche female only imageboards?

Anonymous 10543

I only like other loser girls from here.

Anonymous 10548


yes as if everything back on 4chan is always completely true as well in every regard and some of the posts in here might not be exactly just the same complete shit posting.

ever been to /r9k/ and saw how the other posters react when someone posts about being a woman? i mostly see it as being the same in here but turning the genders around, dumbo

Anonymous 10549

Where abouts?

Anonymous 10550

this isn't your dating website weirdo, fuck off.

Anonymous 10555

rei laugh.png

>if your standards eliminate weirdos, and yet you're still without a bf…
he thinks negging works

Anonymous 10556

Obv not that anon, but I still think it's extremely unfair and dehumanising to compare someone who doesn't fit in your ideals to literal garbage. His attempt is a desperate act to reach out for the desperate crowd, but that's only my opinion, and I can't tell anything else about this fella because his post is otherwise clean and polite.

Anonymous 10558

Just leave it be anon, it's not worth arguing. We we're all 16-19 once shitposting on imageboards, hoping our thread would suddenly have that perfect someone crawl out of the woodwork. Anon either has really high standards or anon is fine with their situation. Possibly a little column a little column b.

Anonymous 10559


what the fuck are you on about i was just trying to give you an easier to understand answer
>even though the board doesn't even have any set rules about women not being allowed
>crystal cafe has an entire site rule that says no men are allowed
>lol i'll just post anyway
>wtf why you acting like that to me??
i don't even care wherever you're against misogyny or whatever else for fucks sake it's just not a good sight or whatever to see someone purposefully break the rules just to come in here and be like ''hey im guy i wanna date so i come post on this online website for women yea pls add me'', fuck just go outside and talk to women like everyone says it should be and leave the posters here deal with their shit through their own pace

Anonymous 10560

I would approach this nice guy who frequents my favorite book shop, but he is always wearing earphones. He never takes them off and I don't want to bother him.

Anonymous 10564

what i think you fail to realize is that any girl here can go to whatever shithole on the net you came from, write "i'm a girl", no pics or anything required, and get some loser internet bf like you in a minute flat. why you think you're doing anyone here a favor is beyond me. when you see posts here saying things like "i wish i had bf", understand that you're not considered to be an option.

Anonymous 10565

Yes I see he is breaking the rules and he will feel the hammer any moment now, but that's his only crime in the bigger picture. I see these as two separate issues. As much as I support the rules, I actually hope someone from here will contact him and it will work out. This could be the chance for one miner she has been waiting for.

Anonymous 10567


I'm afraid you might be a creep because 90% of the men who do this are creeps. I do wish you good luck though! Ganbatte, anon-kun.

Anonymous 10568

Well like the other anon said, if you have a set standard for men and you are still a virgin you have to stop and think.

I'm not telling you to lower your standard or anything. Anon imageboards aren't ideal for finding that partner, it's like blind dating (but infinitely worse).

Anonymous 10569

I'm not any of the anons who said they wouldn't go for you because you came from an imageboard etc. It's just hard to trust the men who show up here because r9k posters hate us and make fun of us, so I don't think contacting a guy from there would be very wise.

Anonymous 10570

I feel the exact same way you do but I don't have the courage to contact you. The world hurt me too much.

Anonymous 10571

Comrade, you are putting to many words into the text box. This isn't /r9k/ you don't have to be original.

But really just accept it (((we))) wouldn't want to date some girl we couldn't see or hear either.

Anonymous 10573

Where are you from?

Anonymous 10577

why would you need the phone number?

Anonymous 10578

Wait, do you want us to save the contact info for you? I'm dumb today. I can do that for you.

Anonymous 10579


>I wouldn't
But you did. Stop posting. The problem isn't that you want to date. It's that you're willfully trespassing on a women-only space. That already tells us enough about you. The girls here are here so they can vent to other girls about not having a boyfriend. They are not on this website with the intent of finding a boyfriend here. If they wanted an e-boyfriend or whatever, they could just go on some dating website. Some of the women here know that a relationship, no matter how sweet and cute they imagine being in one will be, realistically is difficult and hard to maintain, and so they don't have a boyfriend. There's many reasons.

Anonymous 10580


>talking to a guy online
>seems nice enough
>only exchange small words at first
>then he starts writing more and more and bigger sentences
>until this suddenly happens
>no longer want to talk to guys anymore
why do some people have to do this sort of thing, at this keep it shorter and more readable or something

Anonymous 10581

You're right, but I understand why he did what he did. I don't think we have enough miners for the amount of guys that come here looking for a GF though. Maybe someday when we're bigger we could try that, but right now that would just kill our board's comfy vibe. I'm a sucker for love and romance so I hope these people can find each other somehow.

Anonymous 10582

Huh? What is wrong? He's just opening up to you because he probably felt comfortable. Fugg me, there's nothing wrong with opening up to someone who made you feel comfy. I thought I'd read the guy say something terrible because of your green text, but that's nothing. Also, good luck if you decide to teach English in your country. It doesn't really pay much.

Anonymous 10584

i don't know it just felt weird as fuck, there's so much text he sent all of a sudden, like, he legit spent about 30 minutes or so writing all that up when he could've easily just wrote it as a sentence so i could come up with something to reply to him with and have the chat keep going, i had no idea what to even say after that entire thing, i just thanked him and then the chat died

Anonymous 10585

I hate it when men believe they can relate to us….I wouldn't be so depressed if I weren't directly affected by misogyny.

Also, the way he keeps on backtracking and repeating the same ideas is annoying. Ghost him (I'm lesbo so take my advice as you will).

Anonymous 10586

i got the last guys email before it was redacted. do you want it?

Anonymous 10588

Same bitch
I also find it weird how he mentions a girl that ghosted him. That's usually a red flag that a person immediately mentions a person that left them. Usually it's done to manipulate you into feeling sorry for them and then you continue to pay attention to them because you feel sorry for them.

Anonymous 10589

Can people who feed men who are seeking dates and such have minor bans for behavior like above? Don't you see how you're encouraging behavior like that? God.

Anonymous 10590

Is this a bad thing? I also like to write long detailed messages. Seriously, is this something to avoid doing? I thought longer messages were better because they indicate interest?

Anonymous 10591

That'd be unfair. They come here to vent, and feel comforted. The guys who show up and banned right away so it doesn't really make a difference in the end.

Anonymous 10592

show up are*

Anonymous 10593

You know, people used to write letters to each other 10 times as long.

Anonymous 10594

uh they're good but not when they're THAT long.
they'd be okay if sent individually i guess but it's a complete mess seeing as he sent ALL of them as 1 single message

Anonymous 10595

>I also find it weird how he mentions a girl that ghosted him

The other post you linked is literally anon encouraging ghosting him. And for what? Writing long messages? I'm actually feeling sorry for him if that's why he gets ghosted by girls because that's the most pettiest reason I have ever heard.

You know what? Yeah, ghost him, he can do better.

Anonymous 10596

I understand your POV, but I think you were too harsh. I like to type long msgs to show the other person I'm interested in the conversation, too. I can see the friendship collapsing though, he was opening up wayyyy too much right away and would probably use you as his shoulder to cry on.

Anonymous 10597

Yes because those were letters.

Anonymous 10598

Now this starts to sound like you're just coming up with excuses to dislike him. If you don' like him that's fine, but let's be real here c'mon. If he wrote all that in different parts you would be complaining him messaging too much instead of too long. It's fine not to like someone, but disliking somoene based on long messages? You might as well complaing about his use of emojis.

Anonymous 10599

that was actually the thing though, i didn't even have him added for at least 1 day, he started telling me all that stuff right off the bat as we were trying to get to know each other

Anonymous 10602

Some people don't use direct messaging programs often enough to say everyting in real time, and most young people these days don't use email.

Anonymous 10603

Ironically, you are reading too much into his long messages.

Anonymous 10604

There's nothing wrong with sending long messages. It's a sign the person is invested in the conversation. It's only a problem when they don't actually respond to what you're saying. Posting his message here was a pretty dick move though, imagine if you spilled your heart out to someone and they posted it for everyone to laugh at.

Anonymous 10605

Very much this. This scenario reminds me of high school and bullies targeting other kids for the smallest quirks.

Anonymous 10606


Please don't email the smeg. He's already salty.

Anonymous 10607

wow wtf, i didn't even post his name or avatar so it's fine enough by me, it's not like i asked for anyone to go skin him alive

Anonymous 10608

Every time. On the bright side, men like this make you feel less lonely because you realize that men are too insufferable to desire.

Anonymous 10609

It's still a dick move. I think you should stop messaging to him. Not because his way of messaging is wrong, because it's not wrong, but it will be a favor for both of you. You don't need to read his long messages anymore, and he doesn't need to waste his long messages on someone like you.

Anonymous 10611

i did though, that screencap is like 1 year old, i don't even talk to him anymore, i just found it while scrolling around for images and then i thought i could just make a post about it, i wasn't even intending on anything bad in the first place

Anonymous 10612

I hope you at least got a new perspective on this, because god help us all if we start to bully people based on their word count.

Anonymous 10613

Not her, but you are right. That was very petty.

Anonymous 10623

>ever been to /r9k/ and saw how the other posters react when someone posts about being a woman?
A mix of polite curiosity, guys asking to get contact info to talk more, and "REEEEE ROASTIE WHOERE GET OFF MY BOARD" usually.

Anonymous 10626


psychological manipulation together with patronizing tone. i wonder how old is he

Anonymous 10627

Don't hurt yourself with all that reaching.

Anonymous 10628

i never believed that two socially awkward people are a good fit for each other. introverts need extroverts

Anonymous 10629

While there are good ways for opposites to support each other, two of a kind can be just as good. But this way to bend out of shape to find malicious hidden meanings in that message is really petty. It's not that deep.

Anonymous 10630

of course there's no hidden meanings because it's so blatant and obvious, it was painful to read

Anonymous 10631

It's blatant and obvious that he likes to write about his feels in detail. Are you sure you're not just projecting?

Anonymous 10632

he obviously chose wrong time to do this. are you sure you're not just a robot?

Anonymous 10633

Anonymous Admin 10634

Don't encourage males to shit up our board by responding or contacting them.

I have been contacted repeatedly and obnoxiously about opening a "shared" board where men can post in order to find crystal.cafe users to talk to. It's not going to happen. However, I've forwarded the idea to friends of mine who are willing to make it happen as a separate website. crystal.cafe stays female-only. Males begone.

Anonymous 10635

So his only crime is that he's awkward and writes lenghty messages and he deservers to get shunned for that?
>are you sure you're not just a robot?
No, but are you sure you're not just a bitter individual purposely interpretating things to justify your bullying? He's not making any threats, he's not saying anything mean, and the tone you interpret "patronizing" is him being careful because he's obviously very awkward. Have you not ever chatted with anyone shy and awkward? They choose their words carefully for that diplomatic tone which will come off as passive and apologing. That's not a reason to bully someone.

Anonymous 10636

nobody bullies anyone here, stop making stuff up

Anonymous 10637

If going from zero to manipulative creep based on long awkward message is not bullying, then I don't know what is. You might as well have said
>eww look how he uses emojis, what a creep, I bet he's trying to manipulate your emotions with those deceptive cartoon faces

Anonymous 10638

>manipulative creep

didn't i tell you to stop making stuff up? i'm done reading your apologetics. ask for his info and marry him, if you like him so much

Anonymous 10639

Look at the assumptions people make here based on that one screenshot alone ie. >>10626
He is obviously very awkward, but that doesn't make him a manipulator or a bad person.

Yeah maybe I will marry him so that I can shelter me and him from this mad world where people jump on your neck for writing gasp long messages. God help us all.

Anonymous 10642


>Yeah maybe I will marry him so that I can shelter me and him from this mad world where people jump on your neck for writing gasp long messages. God help us all.

Anonymous 10645

Oh yea I'm such edgelord for not joining the mob to bully some awkward fella for his crime of being awkward. I can't even imagine your reaction if he had said something directly threatening, the 0-to-100 reaction to his current message leaves very little room for extra outrage. If you ever wonder why some men are afraid to approach women, this is why. Stop this fearmongering bullshit, you are better than this.

Anonymous 10646

>If you ever wonder why some men are afraid to approach women

male alert

Anonymous 10649

Oh please, not being petty like a snotty high school girl doesn't mean I'm not a girl. But unlike you I have actually talked to men and I would suggest you to do the same. Maybe you lack the empathy but getting labeled as creep and manipulator for no fucking reason is doing nothing but harm for everyone. Good luck with finding a boyfriend by making boys afraid to say anything in fear of getting labeled as something bad.

Anonymous 10650

good luck finding a girlfriend with your rich role-playing experiences on female-only imageboards

Anonymous 10651


>everyone who disagrees with me is male

Anonymous 10652

it makes it twice creepy if you also role-play as a lesbian

Anonymous 10653

shut up stupid tranny

Anonymous 10654

I'm not the person who you were arguing with

Anonymous 10655

Damn, you are mad no one jumped on your invitations to mock this dude. It's okay, one day you will graduate high school.

Anonymous 10656

oh sorry then <3

Anonymous 10657


Anonymous 10658

>le epic butthurt maymay

go back to 4chan

Anonymous 10659

Came late to the party. This is depressing. I'm all for making fun of creeps, but this guy doesn't seem to deserve it. He's just a sad dude. You have no obligation to """save""" him whatsoever, but I genuinely don't think he deserves to be made fun of.

Anonymous 10661


>If he's a decent person, he'll never see that he was being laughed at.
Don't you have someone to make fun of over at /lolcow/?

Anonymous 10662

wtf you mean this is not the same place???

Anonymous 10665

reading it wouldn't be a problem. Smegsies can lurk, they just can't post.

Anonymous 10666


wow i love men!!

Anonymous 10667

sounds like a fun time!

Anonymous 10668

This guy is fucking disgusting

Anonymous 10672


Is this what female incels are like?

Anonymous 10673


Anonymous 10674


Anonymous 10675

and they say we're not real pfff

Anonymous 10677

>I come across this

I was about to type a long reply, but then I decided to click the video. Tell us more about why it makes you feel so sad, son. Also I embedded it for you.

Anonymous 10679

Do you not want a boyfriend? You should try finding a nice guy and realize that they need you as much as you need them. Well, you don't really need anyone, but it's in our blood and nature. If you're into women, you just need to find a girlfriend. They're called partners for a reason, they're someone you co-operate with.

Anonymous 10680

There are women out there who are happy even though they aren't married or have a bf. Don't let shitty internet culture tell you otherwise because that's not real life. Most of us, male and women, do need companionship and I don't know how to change that. I guess you need to ask yourself WHY you want to be with someone, and then work on the points you come up with, so you can change them. You're still very young too and will still be very young for 5 years or so, so dw about that.

Anonymous 10685

Work on that first, and after you accomplish it, think about finding a bf.

Anonymous 10690


>tfw you wanna cuddle your bf in bed and never let him go

Anonymous 10692

Not her, but >>10690
Can you make a riddle for me?

Anonymous 10693


Have you tried to at least make yourself available? You don't necessarily need to approach strangers or do anything extreme, just one forum post about you looking for serious company could do the thing. Even just giving a smile to a guy in video game shop or library can encourage someone to approach you.

Anonymous 10698

I might get shit for this, but how do you usually dress? Do you take care of your appearance, even if little? I'm not saying to dress like a ~SLUT~ because that might attract the wrong type of attention since you want a stable boyfriend, but if you don't take care of yourself it's hard for men to notice you.

Anonymous 10710

>My sister is 20 and she is already married so I trust her with her fashion sense, I don't think that's my problem ;_;

The point is if her marriage will last, kek. Let's hope so!

Anonymous 10712

>he if finds out that I'm ruthlessly mocking him over nothing then that PROVES he deserves to be ruthlessly mocked!

Uhh, circular logic much? You can't use the action as the justification, you need a justification first which motivates your action. The way you've set things up, you attack anyone you want for any reason and whenever you get caught have an excuse that activates by being caught.

Like you might as well go around kicking dogs, and then wait until one bites you in retaliation, and they say "See this is why I kick dogs! They're all violent monsters!". Except in this case, the dog doesn't even bite, it simply notices that you're kicking it, and that's your justification for kicking it.

Anonymous 10720

>You want an extroverted guy no matter what, aka "Chad".

NTA, but you're very wrong there. I want a socially inept man just like me. ""Chad"" types scare me, and they always seem like shit people. I want someone that'll make me comfy, so an introvert would be the best match for me. Not every woman wants "Chad", robot.

Anonymous 10725

when i say an introvert, i don't mean a misogynistic social reject like you

Anonymous 10737

I wanna get it, anon. Teach me.

Anonymous 10738

Yeah, exactly, you know me so well

Anonymous 10752

How would your perfect person be like, anon?

Anonymous 10757

My perfect person is not perfect

Anonymous 10759

Well what's your ideal set of flaws then.

Anonymous 10764

They don't have to be. You know what I was asking.

Anonymous 10766

i'm not sure why are you asking me these questions

Anonymous 10768

I asked you because I saw >>10738 but didn't get to see the post you were quoting. Just curiosity.

Anonymous 10769

oh, i see. the post was saying that i want an extroverted chad, so there was my reply to that

Anonymous 10770

hate to sound picky but it is difficult these days. i went on a normal dating website and talked to a few normie guys. i forgot how boring they are. just the same things, sports, craft beer, and kayaking. i would feel weird talking about philosophy or anime with them. it almost feels like i can't be myself around normie guys. but then i get paranoid and wonder if i just got into those things because nerd /r9k/ers like them?

so then i try to talk to some guys on reddit. i just get mean responses. nerdy guys are so evil and they can be so cold and mean. so it's like i don't know what to do, be fake around a normie guy or be disparaged by a robot. and i don't want either. ugh

Anonymous 10774


I can't connect to non normies, as hipster as it may sound. I'm not the anon you're quoting, but I tried a dating website not long ago and seeing how 98% of those people seemed to be so different than me only made me realize finding someone IRL or casually like I first intended would be very very hard. I am on my way to falling in love with someone (not a normie) right now, I like him a lot, and this scares me sometimes because I don't understand the laws of a normal relationship. I've only ever had one and it wasn't healthy at all, so I don't know how to proceed. Normal people make everything seem so… Easy.

Anonymous 10778

Me too, anon. It really exhausts me, which is part of why I avoid doing it except for when I really have no other option.
The relationship is still new, and LD right now, so I don't want to screw things up with my autismo, but you are right that normie rules shouldn't matter much for us. Thank you!

Anonymous 10790

How do people even get into LD relationships with people they've never met irl.

Anonymous 10791

It happens, anon. Dunno. I have a hard time to connect with people irl, so talking with someone every single day, for hours, naturally brought us closer.

Anonymous 10795

>it happens
Yeah I know that, I mean HOW does it happen?

Anonymous 10797


… How do you start liking someone irl? Do you spend time talking with them, bonding with them over topics you both like, and imagining how it'd be nice to spend more time with them, right? I think the same thing happens online. In my case we spend hours talking about feels and other stupid nonsense, playing vidya sometimes, and other stuff. He makes me feel comfy and happy, and I want to make him happier than he is right now because he deserves it, and see him when we finally can, so it won't be LD forever. I am not the best person to answer your question, even though I'm living it – I'm a hopeless romantic. Maybe the people in the online romance thread could answer that better.

Anonymous 10801

I will asap. It's just started.

Anonymous 10802


>Did you say rabbit rabbit today?
Why would I say rabbit rabbit?

Anonymous 10806

I thought I had a brain fart because it is the 2nd lol. But I will say it anyway, thank you anon!

Anonymous 10808

But like where and how do you meet?

Anonymous 10809


That is a secret, but it wasn't on 4chin

Anonymous 10829

I'm not trying to pry too deeply into your life, I just genuinely don't get how people go from complete random strangers online, to friends, to romantic partners.

Anonymous 10831

sometime miracles happen. consider how much stories like "so we talked for a bit, and then it got boring, and we never talked ever again" you didn't hear

Anonymous 10832


>message person online randomly
>talk for a month; similar life outlook
>make accounts on Okcupid to find a bf/gf. Show each other accounts
>Keep talking for a while
>Get asked out

Anonymous 10864

Tbh that sounds kinda interesting

Anonymous 10865

Odd as it sounds most of the guys making those comments don't hate women.

It's just that they've spent years getting screeched at by women about how they just get everything thanks to their male privilege, and how men propagate the patriarchy and use to oppress women for the benefit of men, and that women would rule the world if men just didn't oppress them so hard.

So when they see a woman being forcibly humbled in a situation where she can't possibly blame the difference in the men and women's success on society or patriarchy or sexism or privilege, they can't help but fire back.

Anonymous 10870

I get what you mean, that it could have been broken into chunks for you to respond easier to, but this message is fine and very friendly. Just tell him you respond better with chunks instead of pages. idk ADD or something.

Anonymous 10875

Haha holy shit I know your main problem is with the comments, but you don't need a man to survive if you work hard enough. Just read up on wilderness survival techniques, strength train, and practice by going camping periodically. Within a year or so you'll be able to live on your own in the woods if you need to. This information isn't male only.
If your only reason for desiring male companionship is to have someone to care for you then good luck, I guess. But you can do it on your own. Don't let dissenters convince you otherwise.

Anonymous 10880

>tfw no ass-chest bf

Anonymous 10904

are you the rabbit rabbit guy from /jp/ + /2hu/?

Anonymous 10906

i love u admin-sama
it's fucked up that guys want to post HERE and invade a chick only chan

Anonymous 10910

Are you talking about pecs?

Anonymous 10925

I'm totally unlovable

Anonymous 10926

Why do you think that?

Anonymous 10936

>ass-chest bf
you need to explain this

Anonymous 10937

One who likes both butts and bewbs.

I hope that is what she means though…

Anonymous 10938

Uhh, that's like most guys.

Anonymous 10940

rather sounds like a guy with hairy chest

Anonymous 10943

As long as you see and admit your own faults and are willing to try to improve them (don't have to be successful) I can guarantee you're not unlovable.

Anonymous 10944

i meant big pecs sorry for the confusion

Anonymous 10945


Anonymous 10947

tfw no bf to lick your pussy

Anonymous 10948


I've been okay with being alone until now, but lately i've really wanted a partner to just talk about things and hug and be cute with, i guess i've just been feeling extra lonely in a way friends cannot help me with.
Haven'e ever had a relationship because of multitude of issues, but i am a hopeless romantic, so the feels are intense whenever i see people around me happy with their bfs/gfs and i am alone dreaming about having a cute relationship with someone.
I'm fairly good looking, have a good body, i'm not a NEET, i have hobbies, and my personality is supposedly good, but some trauma left me unable to flirt with anyone or think anyone likes me, so it's difficult for me to find anyone much less have a relationship, so i don't even know where to start. Most people say that if you don't look for it you will find it, but i haven't been looking for it in 20+ years and here i am, never been in a relationship or ever kissed anyone.
Being socially retarded irl also doesn't help, though.
Why can't i just be normal, get past my trauma and have a cute relationship.

Anonymous 10949

If it helps, the ideal in your head is usually much better than the reality tends to be. It's very hard to find a person that's compatible with your personality, willing to put you first before their own selfish ego, fun to communicate with, is physically attractive, and all that jazz. A relationship seems nice on paper, but very rarely will you find the right person.

Anonymous 10950

>the ideal in your head

you just had to lower your standards, sis

Anonymous 10952


i don't want a bf unless he fits my extraordinarily high standards desu
i'm fine with just fangirling over kpop idols

that being said i'd be fine with a average looking gf or even below average so long as she made my heart go eeeee

why is this

Anonymous 10953

My standards have very little to do with appearance, money, status, etc. Just someone treating me right in all the ways I want. I can't compromise on that.

Anonymous 10956

crying at how much I relate
I have high standards for men (taller than me, basic fucking hygiene etc) but for girlies I have no standards just preferences

I'm also fine with just fangirling over kpop (and jpop) idols

Anonymous 10957

Do you have high standards because of Kpop?

Anonymous 10961

These kpop stars look gay and like they have tiny dicks. Why do you like them? I really don't get it. I'm not into SUPER MANLY IM TOUGH MAN BRAH types either, but these boys look like they have no testosterone at all.

Anonymous 10962

Maybe it's because the girls that like them are only bi because of society and the guys remind them of average looking girls with big clits

Anonymous 10966

My only standard for men is to be pretty/put together. If they can be nice it's good, but I don't expect some wonderful personality because I don't have it either. Problem is, I'm kinda ugly, but I think like a man. I see men the same way men see women… like some kind of idealised muses for art.
I'm ashamed of this.

Anonymous 10967

I do that too. I also feel the urge to protect them and admire their beauty.

Anonymous 11003

They "hate" us because they can't have/own us.

Anonymous 11007


Anonymous 11010

For the reasons very similar to why some women "hate" men.
They consider women entitled, lazy, excessively demanding, incompetent, having unreasonably high standards and not fulfilling their "female role" in the society.

Anonymous 11011


desu ever since i was a youngin i always wanted a prince in gleaming armor / some perfect guy that fit my post hardcore darlings at the time
but like i said earlier once i started taking note of girls it was like…wow. all girls are so cute! barring the really uggo ones lol

bitter male detected

Anonymous 11018

I'm not male, I just like hot men that look like men.

Anonymous 11019

You put exactly into words the way I've been feeling for the past half a year. Thanks though, it's kinda comforting to know I'm not alone in that.

Anonymous 11020

Also what I always think is a big factor in these shows, everyone is chosen based on looks, but double so for the girls. So they tend to be less practical, more social/appearance focused types, which gives them a disadvantage in a survival show.
Just my two cents tho

Anonymous 11023

this board is so wholesome, way better than r9k

Anonymous 11025

Grass is always greener.

They look at every unwashed cunt that spreads their legs and think that's representative of the entire gender.

Anonymous 11027

I like more masculine guys I think he looks cute in a boyish way and I can definitely see the appeal. He doesn't look female or gay to me, just boyish.

Anonymous 11078

I’m doomed
In my parish That Family. You know
>mom went to one of the Seven Sisters, speaks five languages, plays 7 instruments, sings, stayat home mom, homeschools, makes all the food from scratch as in grinds her own flour from wheat, had five kids naturally at home & never wears makeup but is gorgeous in the dresses she makes herself but is sweet, kind, gentle, and nicer to you than your mom
>dad is tall, broad shoulders, deep voice, smart, handsome, always happy and smiling, teaches Religion class and you want to go because he is so funny and make it fascinating
>five sons, all tall, broad shoulders, deep voices, athletic, smart, funny, charming, can sing & dance, volunteer at homeless shelters, etc. etc.
Like something out of a Hallmark movie.
The oldest son, Jack, is 3 years older (I’m just turned 19). Blue eyes, awesome beard, 6’3”, really good shape, just….
He graduated college at 18 with a 4.0, works in IT sales, has his own place, has a nice car he bought on his own, still comes to church all the time.
Since I was 12 I’ve dreamed of him. He’d fall in love, we’d date, get married, his mom and I would be best friends & she’d teach me crochet, and cooking, and on and on.
At the church dances when we’d dance (names in a hat) he was amazing; Good dancer, friendly, kind, like always. I’d melt and be happy for days.
Sunday in the social hall Jack comes to me and complimented my new dress and asked if I wanted coffee. I said I don’t drink coffee.
>I do; I don’t know why I said that!
He offered me water, maybe tea? I said no. Some food? I said no. He smiled warmly, said something like ‘if you change your mind I’ll be around’.
I couldn’t figure out what he was doing but my kid sister was mad, saying he was flirting and I was rude.
I realized she was right.
I’m going to be a cat lady.

Anonymous 11186

anon, go for it. even if you're socially awkward then it's better to try than to just accept your cat-lady-doom. if you don't, then in years to come you'll look back on this moment like 'why didn't i make the most of this opportunity?' and regret it.
source: turned down the guy of my dreams because i thought that the fantasy of being with him was too far-fetched, think about it every day now. don't be me.

Anonymous 11218

>bitter male detected

Why do you always do that? I've noticed you posting the exact same pictures with the exact same filenames elsewhere while accusing anyone who says they don't find the Kpop look attractive of being bitter men.

I just don't get it. Why are you this invested in defending that particular look, even if it's not everyone's cup of tea? It makes me think you're one of those Asian dudes from Reddit we used to get on lolcow.

Anonymous 11222


I can't stand asianmasculinity, or any of the Asian male subreddits. They're like red pillers but with an extra layer of racial entitlement.

Anonymous 11224

all filenames on cc are randomized. i've only posted idols in /wednesday/ gen + the kpop thread over on /media/. you haven't "noticed" anything

also i just assumed the person i replied to was male because they mentioned testosterone. as if a hormone dictates why someone could like a guy (kinda like r9k acting as if dick size is a large factor in whether or not a boy can find someone to love them)

Anonymous 11226

It could be Eurasiantiger. Remember he posted/posts on lolcow.

Anonymous 11227


>ET possibly made his way here
Seriously how the fuck is he everywhere at once? Does he spend literally all his time on this shit?

Anonymous 11228

Obviously different people have different tastes, but I don't think it's an uncommon attitude to find that sort of guy too feminine. I think that's probably a majority of people, at least where I live.

Anonymous 11229

It reminds me of when r/asianmasculinity or aznidentity or one of those hate subs were caught creating fake female accounts that they'd use to post and upvote Asian male celebrities in r/ladyboners. Like… Why even bother? What's the point in wasting your time with something so useless?

Anonymous 11307

I listened.
Talked to my sis, who actually likes talking to strangers.
Yesterday I asked if he wanted coffee!
He smiled
Said yes, takes it black
>how do people do that?
Then he talked to me, and I answered!
He even got me some food.
Then his mom sat with us, doing her crochet
>so pretty! Wish my mom could teach me
and talking - she made it even nicer!
After 30 minutes they left for home, both said it was very nice, they want to talk to me more.
So long, everyone, picking up all the bridal magazines!

Anonymous 11325

Anon, I'm so proud of you! Their family sounds really lovely, I'm rooting for you two to get closer.

…also I'm strongly tempted to start a wedding dress general in /cgl/ because this post reminded me of how much i love looking a bridal magazines and daydreaming about organizing a wedding one day.

Anonymous 11326

Eurasiantiger is eternal, Eurasiantiger is forever, Eurasiantiger is omnipotent

Anonymous 11624

unnamed (3).gif

>tfw no bf to hold hands with

Anonymous 11626


I know that feel anon RIP… ;n;

Anonymous 11628

I feel like this is almost a vent thread.
I had a crush on a boy when we were both 12. My dad and his dad are friends. As we grew up we went to dances at the same time. At 16 he started university (he’s super-smart) and told me it was so he could marry young. At 18 he started acting odd around me. He graduated at 19 with a 4.0 and started working. He got more and more distant, I didn’t know why. I was busy with college and head down, I figured he was busy…
I was 22 and a term away from graduating when I heard he was engaged. I was so confused. I bumped into his mom weeks later: she said she was still upset that it didn’t work out between me and her son.
She and I spoke: when he turned 18 he asked my dad permission to marry me. My dad told him he had to graduate first.
When he graduated my dad told him I wanted to be at least 21 first.
After my birthday dad told him I would contact him if I wanted to hear his proposal.
My dad told me nothing, NOTHING, about this.
So he met a very wonderful girl almost a year later and they hit it off.
I couldn’t tell him 3 weeks before his wedding.
I’m about to turn 28. I have an OK job, an apartment, a car, and a cat. He has 3 kids.
I haven’t spoken to my dad in 4 years

Anonymous 11629

This breaks my heart anon. I hope you are able to move on and eventually meet your own wonderful person. Do you have any idea why your dad might have kept it from you? Was there something about him that worried him or such? Maybe he was just trying to act in your best interest, although everyone would feel very betrayed.

Anonymous 11631

He spent over a year dodging it but he finally told me.
He believed that if the boy proposed I wouldn’t finish my degree.
That’s it. That’s the only reason.
Of course by then he was paying for his new wife to finish hers….

Anonymous 11632

Sorry, I’m emotional
My dad lied to the boy and kept things from me to ensure I got my degree.
By the time I found out the boy was paying tuition for his wife to ensure she finished her degree.

Anonymous 11633

This made me want to cry! I'm so sorry, anon!

Anonymous 11634

I'm so sorry anon, must be really painful. Hopefully you make peace with that and find happiness in your life from now on. What is done is done, as painful as it is.

Anonymous 11703

How to accept that I'm never going to find a bf? Help

Anonymous 11704

first you need to get a lot of cats, we're talking at least 5

Anonymous 11706

My brother is lonely & he’s great.
What’s gone wrong? Why are the good women alone AND good men?
Why can’t we find each other?

Anonymous 11707

I'm going to get more cats and a black one too for the aesthetics.
I don't know anon, I wish I could explain what's wrong too.

Anonymous 11708

Disassociate and hobbies. Staying away from places that say
>tfw no bf

Anonymous 11711

Either keep yourself busy with other things and try not to think about it;
Or just keep in mind that you might later find someone who isn't an ass (low chance but possible) / someone you'll get along with.

Anonymous 11713

But I don't come here I'd feel like I'm the only who can't get a bf
I hope I can find him

Anonymous 11726

Our technology centric lives simply aren't compatible with how we're naturally supposed to live. We'd rather spend our time enjoying the simple, risk and stress free fun of the internet rather than dealing with the real world, and the longer we do that the more social skill we lose and the harder it gets to change. We develop unrealistic positive and negative expectations of the opposite sex. You're constantly exposed to really attractive people that make you think the average people you actually meet in real life are too ugly for you. You hear constant stories about how "this person of the opposite sex did something awful" and wind up becoming paranoid/afraid of all of them when only a fraction actually do horrible stuff like that.

Basically the internet is turning us all into anti-social, overly entitled sexists. A horrible combination of traits for finding companionship.

Anonymous 11733

>He believed that if the boy proposed I wouldn’t finish my degree.

We both know that's a bullshit answer and in reality he just wasn't ready to let go of his precious little girl. But I also put some blame on you for not being more engaged (heh) with that boy

Anonymous 11747


I'm this anon from the last thread. It's been two months and he's still dating her. Broke up with me saying he needed to live his life in his new state and couldn't do long distance with me, now she's back on the other side of the country and he's still in a LDR with her. It's just becoming more and more obvious that I wasn't good enough.

Anonymous 11749

I feel so lonely.

Anonymous 11751

Haha, dweeb.

Anonymous 11752

I don't particularly care for a bf but I feel like I'm wasting away my best years staying single.

Anonymous 11755

I really am.

Anonymous 11756

In all seriousness, iktf.

Anonymous 11761

If you want a boyfriend, all you have to do is find a man, look him straight in the eye, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you want to date him.
Works every time.

Anonymous 11762

I know exactly what you mean.
In all seriousness I'm at an age where it's still kind of normal to not have a bf but growing up with teen dramas doesn't imprint that knowledge into your brain. I'm not even surrounded by couples but two of my friends have been together for two years, and a friend of mine has always been talking to boys through the years I've known her. In the meanwhile, I'm just "what the hell am I doing with my life…"
Still, I'd rather wait a little more while still going out than, idk, get into a ldr with an older creep through an anime site. At least that's what I tell myself.

Anonymous 11765

What if I also have standards?

Anonymous 11766


I've tried online dating again recently. Many sites went to a Tinder like approach. It's nice because you get less creepy messages now, but I still fail to connect with anyone. The conversations are just so mundane.

I just want someone to cuddle and go drink coffee with.

Anonymous 11767

I always thought I had it figured out - no drama in HS; get to college, no drama there; get a degree; start a career; make sure I could take care of myself; then find someone.
But I now know my 4 year degree is gonna’ take 6 years because of scheduling. I’m 21 and I’ll be 24 before I graduate.
If I’m lucky my career will go well and I can be independent by 27.
Sorry for blogging, I just have no one to talk to.
There was a girl in my HS class, she was nice. Really smart, in all the activities, amazing musician. She got early admission to Smith & was majoring in biophysics or something.
19, sophomore, she dropped to marry a guy she’d met 4 months earlier. I remember my mom doing her head shake of disapproval, talking about how she was throwing her opportunities away.
I was home for Summer and got an invite from that girl, a baby shower for someone we both went to HS with.
The girl that dropped Smith? Her husband had gotten a job in IT, she was a stay at home wife. She had her 9 month old son with her. I held him.
She was so happy! Not the ‘please save me’ Stepford thing my mom gets, but beaming happy. The pregnant mutual friend? Genuinely happy. The other moms in their 20’s? Tired, but obviously happy.
I got back to college, looked around. Mostly women, especially in my classes. All with the Stepford look.
I think I’ve got it, too.
I’m not sure if I want kids (although when I’m holding a baby I really do want kids) and I don’t even want a bf.
I want a husband. You know what I mean?
I asked my friend why she dropped Smith. She said,
“I met him and knew I wanted to be his wife. He wanted to be my husband. So we got what we wanted.”
I want that.

Anonymous 11768

You don't always get what you want in life. Keep that in mind.

Anonymous 11769

I guess what I am realizing is that The Plan (school, career) replaced The Goal (husband and family).

Anonymous 11770

I feel with you. When I was 24 I quit my shitty low-wage job and I'm back to uni. Now I'm 26 and I'll be 29 when I'm done, but already I'm earning more working only two days than I did before working five days.

The thing I think I'm realizing recently is that it does not matter. I did not try to get a career because I want money or fame, I just ran away from my old job and just ended up doing what I did.

I do like my current job and future prospects seem interesting too, but it's not going to fulfill me. I'm of average intelligence, the only thing of importance I could do is to raise children. I really want to raise children. I want to do something that, even tough many people do it, does matter.

Anonymous 11772

This. Right here.
Marketing? Ok, I made a great collateral sheet for the sales team, hurrah? No one but me cares, it’ll have to be remade in a year, only a few hundred people will see it.
So I spend $ and money to take MARTA to and from the office, eat microwaved food for lunch 18 out of 20 weekdays, have to put up with the devops guys staring at me like I’m in the zoo because I have breasts and my supervisor giving me her work, too, so she can work on her golf game so she can get promoted, all to earn enough money to live in a tiny apartment, eat ramen, and pay for the degree that got me a marketing job and my accomplishments are sales collateral sheets and, if I work hard! sales copy.
Meanwhile there are women teaching their sons how to talk and count, their daughters shapes and colors, etc.
Why did I fight so hard for this?!

Anonymous 11775

It's not too late to find a boyfriend, and later a husband, and have him inside your life. Plus it might make living inside a tiny apartment a little bit more enjoyable.

Anonymous 11785

May I ask what sort of fighting have you done?

Anonymous 11800

>think I'm tfw no bf because of looks
>improve fashion, health, and makeup skills to bring me up to a solid 6 or so
>notice girls who are uggo and obese with shitty personalities and promiscuous pasts pulling many qts who commit to them
Am I cursed? I've even been rejected by a man I approached.
It's not fair. I'll keep going but I'm starting to feel discouraged.

Anonymous 11809

Stay strong!
I went to a mixer my freshman years (women’s college) and not a single man approached me. I was so upset! I changed my hair, clothes, accessories, makeup, everything and was thinking I had it, went to the next one.
Not one man approached me.
I cried myself to sleep.
It suddenly felt like another woman could be deformed, morbidly obese, mentally handicapped, physically disabled, mean, and stupid and have 5 guys trying to date her while I sat in my room, alone, watching Dr Who.
Then I was moving - grubby old jeans, filthy, paint-spattered flats, my dad’s huge, ratty sweatshirt (that’s older than I am), hair in a kerchief, dusty, sweaty - and the guy across the hall saw me and did a double take, helped me move, made me dinner, and was flirting all night.
We’ve been together 5 years, married three, and he prefers me in flats, no makeup.
Men are weird.

Anonymous 11815

Keep going, make yourself approachable, and use all your willpower not to turn bitter. It might take time, some things are worth the wait.

Anonymous 11816

Or maybe trying doing the approaching yourself more than a grand total of one time and then complaining nothing works.

Anonymous 11817

tenor (1).gif

That's a really sweet story.

Anonymous 11819


I hope I can one day get a loving and sweet boyfriend,who will make me feel protected and hold me. I got out of my first relationship earlier this year and it makes me scared of getting hurt again (not even sure if I should count him as a first boyfriend though, since we never even met up or had my first kiss with him) either way, I did realize that I was less experienced than him when it came to dating so I was very hesitant with my feelings. I think next time I'm going to put my all in it and work harder at being the best girlfriend I can be so, hopefully it'll work out next time. I just have to find someone who's actually interested in me again ;-;

Anonymous 11822

story of my life. even the details are the same.

Anonymous 11823

I want to be protected and loved by a boy. My KHVness scares men irl.

Anonymous 11825

My brother feels the same as a KHV guy
>we’re really Catholic
Maybe we’re imagining?

Anonymous 11826

The saddest part is that I'm both posters you quoted! I hope your brother can find someone to love.

Anonymous 11827


>a boy will love you

Anonymous 11837

Not to try and sound negative here, but a lot of these success stories seem to boil down to "I was doing nothing and then the perfect guy just fell into my life". Im happy for you but it seems like we dont have any agency in our own fates. What if some of us never have that miraculous stroke of luck? Can we never make things happen ourselves?

Anonymous 11838

i loved that story, so happy for you

Anonymous 11842

What I was trying to convey is something I learned from the hubster and his (very masculine) friends:
Too often what we do when we’re trying to change/attract men is more about women’s perceptions.
By BiL said something like,
“We don’t notice when our mom dyes her hair, do you really think we notice that your bracelets match your shoes, or whatever?”
What caught my husband’s eye, he tells me, was that I was tired, sweaty, working hard, and smiling. Looking back, at the mixers I was nervous and afraid to look like a silly girl so I was trying to look ‘sophisticated’ and I probably came across as a grim bitch.
He likes simple and happy. I AM simple and happy, but I thought finding someone was about perfume and pumps,.
I know I’m being unclear, dammit

Anonymous 11843

>why are you whining in the thread for whining?
Like I said I'll keep going, I always have my eye out for males to approach and will continue until one finally lets me in his pants and life. I've set a goal for fifty approaches until I give up. Then I'll settle down with some tarantulas and my muscles to keep me warm.
>came across as a grim bitch
I feel like that may be a problem of mine now that I think about it. But I don't think it's ridiculous to say that the average man clocks self care/base attractiveness/aesthetic cohesion on a subconscious level. You can tell a painting is beautiful without knowing anything about composition and color theory.
Maybe your base looks (face and figure) are just ridiculously nice, or perhaps your husband and his friends are just abnormally nice people. idk but I am happy for you. I hope me and all the other girls itt can join you in your lack of romantic loneliness someday.

As a side note, I made it sound like I only dress up for men but I actually enjoy fashion now and wouldn't stop wearing fancy clothes even if I fail.

Anonymous 11844

thank you, anon

Anonymous 11845

Full disclosure
…the hubster does admit the fact my breasts were obvious even in the gigantic sweatshirt was an influence…

Anonymous 11848

That's sad, but at the same time, it wasn't meant to work out. Instead of keeping in contact with you he slowly distanced himself and found someone else instead of fighting for you. Don't feel like you lost too much. He replaced you, after all. It's not worth keeping someone like that around anyway.

Anonymous 11905

Found the dad.

Anonymous 11935

Well honestly, would you really want someone who didn't have the resolve to stick with you because daddy said no? He didn't even bother talking to her directly, but only to her father which was a dumb move. This whole thing is a stupid anime misunderstanding. If someone gives you up that easily then good riddance.

Anonymous 11952

This is going to sound dumb and counter-productive, but you should talk to him about it. Just get it off your chest so you can move on and close that chapter of your life. It will hurt less and you'll feel better. Trust me, I've closed many chapters mysel.

Don't let the regret eat away at you forever. Talk to him, tell him about your experiences and feelings, then just move on.

What you have to realize is that the past you is gone, dead. All you can do now is to give her the proper rites, and make sure that the future you has a better chance.

And, if you can bear it, talk to your father, and tell him how you feel. You don't have to get close to him or talk to him ever again, just let it out, and let him know.

Good luck.

Anonymous 11967

>didn't have the resolve
Go away, anons dad

Anonymous 11988

…I’ll see him on Sunday. I’ll try to talk to him

Anonymous 11989

I'm 27 years old and never had a boyfriend. Tell me why I should keep on going.

Anonymous 11991

unless you are the most horridly ugly or obese, etc, girl then you could get a bf at some point. and even if there's something so wrong with you that you can't, there's so many things to life that can make it worth living

Anonymous 11992

There are better things in life than bfs.

Anonymous 11993


Like what? Everywhere I go I see couples that are in love with each other and it makes me feel like shit. I hate myself and my life.

Anonymous 11995

there's hobbies, careers, family (the one you're born with), religion, and surely you appreciate things like food and art sometimes.. I'm not gonna be exhaustive but there's plenty of things if you just think about it.

Anonymous 11996

Hobbies? I sew, knit, crochet, play piano, and cook. All “homemaker” stuff. For reasons.
Career? I watched my aunt work hard for her entire life, really threw herself into her work. Long hours, high pay, promotions, everything. She retired and was alone. A career isn’t going to be there when I’m old and weak.
Religion is good, but I’m not a nun.
I love my family, but I’m not going to live with them forever.
Food? Art? Beauty is important, yes, but I want to cherish someone who does the same in return. Not looks, not status, not wealth, or travel, or Michelin starred food or rare art - I want to feel in my bones that a man who I love more than me loves me more than himself.

Anonymous 11997

I'm impressed with your hobbies. Believe me I'm not trying to make a partner sound like some very unnecessary thing, I'm in the same shoes as you, I just like to send positive thoughts to people I think could use them.

Anonymous 12000

>sew, knit, crochet, play piano, and cook.

shit, anon, you sound adorable. this is my ideal best friend, tbh, i want another lady to do cute and wholesome activities with.

Anonymous 12002

This is also going to sound dumb, but hear me out.

I hope for your sake that he is a massive piece of shit. You see, the best tool against regret is disillusionment and disappointment. I've had many crushes that I would agonize over, but after meeting them and knowing who they REALLY are (as opposed to who they were in the fantasies in my head), I'd be glad that I dodged that bullet.

Meeting people who, before that, lived in your head, and getting to know them in reality is the best tool for turning regret into relief. "I'm glad I dodged that bullet", etc. That's why I always try to meet people I have regrets over (either that I have wronged, or crushed over), because getting to know the "real" them is the best tool to turning regret into relief.

You know what, when you meet him, just try to observe something about him that you dislike/despise. And then mentally amplify it to turn him into someone you dislike. You will feel much better afterwards. I've used this technique many times myself. If the source of your pain is yourself, then fool yourself.

Anonymous 12006

The source of my pain is my father.
When that came out it took me a long time to realize how much he controlled me and my siblings. He couched it as lovecand concern, but the boy approached my father and dealt with him because I bought into my father ‘protecting’ me from the world. I sent him to my father because my father convinced me he should guard me.
That’s the worst, really. I didn’t say because I was just getting it out (I’ve never even told my kid sister most of this) but about 6 months before I graduated the boy pulled me aside and wanted to know why he couldn’t talk to me directly about anything
important; I told him I trusted my father.
And I did.
And my father sent him away.
I can’t be mad at anyone but myself and my father.
I stuck with my father even after I learned about it. The boy’s mother, who told me the truth, said he’d betray me again, but I ignored her. But later my godmother (who my father distanced us from after my mother died) just told me, out of the blue,
“You dad will never let you go. You’ll be single, living in his house, and caring for him on his deathbed if you don’t get out soon.”
When I got an apartment of my own without telling him first he was so furious I knew she was right.
I tried not to think about it until I saw this thread.
I’ll tell him; at least he won’t think I hate him

Anonymous 12218

I am older than you and never had a boyfriend. I was treated like scum as a child. People who date just anyone wont understand. Anyway, you just hit a point and put yourself out there. I am going to try plenty of fish. I think I am mentally ready.

Anonymous 12222

This is going to sound weird but I help people with this, please send me an email ([email protected])

Anonymous 12234


I found this board from google image search and this is just beyond retarded. It is not hard to get a boyfriend. You all just would rather be alone than scrape bottom feeders. There are a METRIC FUCK TON OF DUMB, RETARDED, MANLET, FACELET RETARD VIRGINS who are ITCHING to even SMELL a vagina.

Anonymous 12235

Women want decent boyfriends, not 'bottom-feeders'. Criticizing them for that is like criticizing someone who's starving for not being willing to eat dirt. It technically fills the slot where food is supposed to be but will it nourish you in any significant way? Nah. All you'll be left with is a bad stomachache and a bunch of grit on your tongue.

Anonymous 12236


Sometimes this type of man has insanely high expectations. They think they're too good for us even though they're not. I suffer from tfw no bf but I'd rather be alone than with someone who sees me as subhuman and is with me because Stacy doesn't look at him.

Anonymous 12238

Agree with both. I'm actually very attracted to tiny, awkward faced, uneducated manlets (and I value virginity in males), but most are misogynistic as fuck.
I'd scrape the bottom of the barrel but then they'd just say I'm inferior because genitals, tell me I need to get a bunch of plastic surgery, call me a slut even if I'm a virgin before getting with him, then go jerk off to CP and snuff. I hate it.

Anonymous 12250

>retarded a*tistic people who are annoying and have deranged views
>fun bipolar people who are fun with deranged views
yeah for me its the latter

Anonymous 12255

recently I had an epiphany about the whole rate race thing you just realized you were in.

I'm a business IT major, I had to take accounting and finance classes alongside programming and software dev. All my business professors made a big point about working hard, saving up, and 'not just clocking in'. Managers and CEOs got to where they were because they stayed up late and gave it their all and were focused on their careers. Some of the professors boasted about being retired (they were all in their 60s) and just teaching to get their kids through expensive ivy league schools (lmao).

I browse the financial independence subreddit and look at FIRE and all sorts of garbage about retiring early. The people there recommend the same shit: working hard, living frugally, saving up. Most of them have a spouse but no kids, and the spouse also works hard and saves up. Those are the success stories posts. Either that or they're single guys.

You know what all that accomplishes? retiring at fucking 40 at best. But here's the kicker for me: You're still fucking 40 years old.

Nobody wants to fuck you anymore. You're old. You've done nothing with your life except work. You haven't gone on vacations. You haven't seen the world. You've avoided concerts, shows, events, meetups. Pretty much everything that makes the human experience worth living. You just worked hard all day every day for the illusion that you can retire early. And now that you did, nobody gives a shit about you. You've wasted your prime years of your life. And guess what? You still look like shit because you overworked yourself to make that money.

That's the dangling carrot on the stick. Work hard little gentile. You too can retire a bit earlier before your body totally breaks down! Don't "waste" your money on these superfluous things. Who cares about seeing other countries and how other people live? I need those financial forecasts by next Tuesday!

Anonymous 12257

Heck, Doug Stanhope, who you let you in here?

Anonymous 12258

the problem is that unless you are born into a wealthy family or otherwise acquire a bunch of money through some insane stroke of luck, we're too scared to take off work. if you work in a low-end job like i do then you're pretty much one bad month away from being homeless at all times, so unless you find yourself a sugar daddy boyfriend to pay your expenses then something like traveling for pleasure is totally irresponsible and out of the question. i've been lucky in that i've gotten this far in life without any major health issues but again, if i did, it would bankrupt me in the blink of an eye.
the message society seems to send to you is keep your nose to the grindstone or fuck off and die.

Anonymous 12263

Not to criticize you for wanting neat things in life, but some of us are genuinely boring as shit.
I'm perfectly okay being an office rat since it funds my art/doll collecting hobby and will allow me to be a home owner in my thirties. I've never really had the desire to travel since I can learn about people on the internet. And I'm not interested in owning fancy cars or a mansion.
Seeing my mom not being able to retire at all since she's the working poor makes me grateful that I most likely will be able to have rest in my old age. I don't really care about being desirable and in top tier health then, since I can still enjoy exercise and light socializing when I'm young. I'll make my best effort to find someone nice and introverted who will happily garden and do boring hobbies with me until we're 80 (even with our arthritic bodies). That sounds great wtf. All I could ever ask for.

Maybe I'm one of the bluepilled cucks holding you lot down. I just think there's a middle ground between working 24/7 with no time for hobbies and partying/traveling all the time. Things can be of reasonable intensity. Or get a job that requires travel (pilot, working on cruise ships, some kind of engineer, etc.).

Anonymous 12284

How on earth is that an 'epiphany' of any value? Your entire rant is based on the premise that your life isn't worth living at 40. People don't just keel over and die the instant they hit middle age, somehow unable to travel or go to concerts or meet people or whatever. Most retirees do plenty of traveling and live it up long past 40. And people aren't suddenly a waste of space once they're no longer young and hot, who cares if they look like shit? Does that mean they can't enjoy hobbies or go out and do interesting things?

I've read enough about FIRE to know that people don't have to overwork themselves or sacrifice everything to get there, either. Not everyone on there has a high paying job and it's the ideal life for someone who hates working, because you won't have to spend as long doing it.

Anonymous 12289


My biggest problem is, that I don't find anybody attractive.
I only met one person who I would kind of call attractive and that only in some perspectives.
The most cringy part is I do find guys in video games or animes attractive. Well mostly the non humans or if they are human they always have something that is unusual.

Normally i would not mind, I always preferred to be alone and never wanted a bf.
Well up until this year. I suddenly have the wish of a relationship and a own 'home'. Not a strong one but it is there and i never had that before. It is annoying.
In my late 20ies here, so if this is my biological clock or something that idiot is late as hell and can go back where it was

Other problems are for example:
That naked body are disgusting for me. So sex is not an option.
I am too scared that i get hurt. I know "you will get hurt there is no use in it yada yada", but i still don't want to.
I don't like crowded places, people exhaust me.

I know there is no hope for me just wanted it off my chest.
Maybe aliens invade earth and I find a blob that I like and hopefully likes me.

Anonymous 12310

I talked to him yesterday. Holding his littlest kid, even. Told him how my dad never told me. How I was foolish and sent him to my father rather than just tell him.
When I thought about it before I assumed I’d cry, but it felt really good. Really cathartic.
He was furious, said he should have pushed harder, and apologized. His wife talked to me a bit (she’s very sweet) and she and I are getting coffee later this week.
I think I was hanging on to him so much I couldn’t let go. I feel like an immense pressure and been holding me down and now it’s gone.
I’m glad I wrote something here. Thanks for your advice.

Anonymous 12325

Started uni today, wish me luck with scoring a bf along with my bachelor's!!!
There were a lot of cute boys there, it was overwhelming.

Anonymous 12413

Update, next week I'm going to cold approach a boy I spotted during orientation and throughout this week. No point in wasting time. I'll regret it if I don't strike now.
Posting for accountability.

Anonymous 12418

Good luck, anon-chan!

Anonymous 12424

Go! Go! Go! Good luck!

Anonymous 12456

update us pls

Anonymous 12530

I fucking did it and he said agreed to lunch tomorrow!
I never thought I'd get a yes from anyone, much less a cute small musician who smells nice. He's 100% my type and he said yes. I'm dying, girls.

Anonymous 12531


WOO! Congratulations, and good luck tomorrow!

Anonymous 12533

Good luck, Anon! Keep us updated!!

Anonymous 12534

Wait for the third date before getting bridal mags.
….unlike me

Anonymous 12543


Fuck yeah! Congratulations, and here's to a fun and successful date <3 hf hf!

Anonymous 12560

I'm not sure how I feel about things. I enjoyed myself but I think I came across as pretty spergy and he turned out to be a normie. Far from a Chad (he's a bit of a band nerd tbh) but still part of a separate social standing than my loner ass. Which is fine for me, but I'm now feeling insecure about my very obvious lack of social skills.

Wherever I fucked up he smoothed out the conversation, though. So maybe I'm worrying about nothing.
He also insisted on following my very dead instagram account. Is that a good sign?

He's a sweetheart anyway and I hope he likes me too!

Anonymous 12562

>He also insisted on following my very dead instagram account. Is that a good sign?
I think that is a very good sign, he must be interested in you.
Also I'm sorry to pry but what did you talk about? You didn't know a lot about each other right, so what did you discuss? I mean I've just never had to get to know somebody like that, so I wonder how to do it.

Anonymous 12564

I hope so! Reflecting on the event now without my insecurity goggles, he did make a couple of innuendos/flirtatious remarks while still being respectful. So maybe he is into me, who knows. I can only wait to find out the truth I guess.

Anyway, we grabbed coffee and I essentially interviewed him lmao. I've read that some people hate that sort of thing, but he was content to go along with it as far as I could tell. I just asked him about his family, interests, animals, food, politics, religious stance, etc. and he reciprocated the questions. This was my first date ever so I had no idea what else to do.

Anonymous 12609

I remember when I was chatting with some Russian guy and one day he sent me the synopsis to all touhou games and I said "you don't expect me to read all of that right" and he replied "well you can read it when you have time"

Anonymous 12611


I'll try to sum this up the best I can. Looks like we're getting invaded this week too so please don't troll this thread. Just pass over it.

I'm 18, almost 19, and recently lost my virginity. He is in his mid 30s, has a girlfriend, and works with my mother at one of our public utility companies. Sorry if that's vague…

Anyway, I just need to talk about it, because I can't tell anyone I know in person, even my friends would alert my mother immediately because they know the kind of person I am and are too close to the family.

I've used toys in the past but always kept in tact, and I've never used large dildos, just a small vibrator or my fingers. I'm not ugly or homely, but my parents are massive prudes, and I was deathly afraid of having sex. I still am, I think. However, I gave in to the frustrations and let a man have me.

Okay real story time now. I visit my mother at work sometimes, not too often, but I like to drop in after class since her office is on the way home from the local community college. She has a coworker, let's call him Ted, who is everything I imagined myself with as a little girl growing up. Tall, handsome, great teeth, well groomed, athletic-ish. I'm small, too, at 5'2 and maybe 105lbs lately, I'm not much noticeable to most men. No tits to speak of, really, I don't really even wear a bra most days. If I do it's just a sports bra from the girls section. I'm really that small.

I'm getting distracted. Anyway, I kind of flirt with him, and I know he has a girlfriend because he's talked about her in the past. Ted and my mother get along and over the past month I've hung around his office as much as hers, if not more. She of course picked up on this and told me I don't need to come around so much anymore, focus on school. So just Monday I think, I told him I needed someone to talk to about life stress, and he offered me his phone number. Told me he has been in support groups in the past… so I texted him, and texted him, and texted him, and suddenly he asked if I wanted to talk in person.

See where this is going? So we basically went on a date, and he touched my hand at the table, and I melted. I asked for a ride home since I walked there, he agreed, my roommates were out getting stoned like usual, and….

Ted was very sweet, and caring, and affectionate, and considerate, and he was and is everything I know guys my age aren't. He's a man, plain and simple. He was slow with sex, neither of us came but he wasn't upset. After he left I cried, because I feel like a home wrecking slut, and because I really really like him, and crying made me eat a shitload of chocolate ice cream (regret this since chocolate makes me break out) and the thought of all this made me cry and crave more chocolate…

Anyway, I needed to vent. I don't know what to do from here. I'm so confused.

Anonymous 12612


Maybe you could aske the guy to send you big colorful pictures instead. What a jerk, thinking highly of you.

Anonymous 12617

100lbs and barely over 5 feet tall? He took advantage of you, but you already know that. Is your dad still in your life?

Anonymous 12619

Nobody took advantage of me, I wanted it to happen.

Anonymous 12620

Okay so how do rationalize how he casually cheated on his gf with you?

You sound laughable dumb/naive. I'm sure he'd be a very caring bf to you too until a new younger girl came along. Don't cry over being a homewrecker cry being so cliche.

Anonymous 12621

I can't rationalize anything, he cheated, I guess I'm wrapped up in his trance. But I certainly wasn't taken advantage of. Shit I don't know, I don't have the emotional maturity or constitution to deal with this, I'm already tearing up again.

I don't have any relationship experience so I don't know what I should do or where I should go with this. I'm just going to shove more mint chocolate chip down my throat and try to rationalize my actions.

All I know is that I've never wanted something more so bad. I want him again and it's making me really upset.

It probably doesn't help I started my cycle last night so it's not like I can get what I want for almost a week anyway. Just kill me.

Anonymous 12622

I know a guy who dated 2 different girls (not at the same time) while having sex with a 15 year old girl until she turned 18 when he made their relationship official.
I think your situation is similar in that he will probably keep you around and stay with his gf saying things like "your mother won't accept us together until you are older" in which case he can either keep it a secret forever or turn you into his gf in the future.
People like this don't really tho so there is a good chance he will cheat on you if you ever get upgraded into the gf.

Anonymous 12628

And what happens if she develops feelings for him?

Anonymous 12630

I felt loved for the first time, so obviously I'm sticking like glue, but realistically I don't think I can stay with him. If he'd cheat on her, he'll cheat on me. I'm so conflicted.

Anonymous 12634

>I'm 18, almost 19, and recently lost my virginity. He is in his mid 30s


>has a girlfriend

double nope

>and works with my mother

this situation is whack.
honestly the best thing for you to do would be to never see him again, for real. any guy who's in his mid thirties who thinks it's fine to cheat on his gf with an 18-year-old (not just that but to HAVE SEX with you on the first 'date') is not a good person.
it sounds like you caught feels for him already but please do not re-engage. you will only get hurt.
and don't get hung up on the 'losing my virginity' bit. i also lost mine to a scumbag. it really doesn't matter in the long run.

Anonymous 12637


I have this huge fucking crush on a guy from the UK, and while our relationship is mostly sexual in nature I feel like I'm getting really emotionally attached and infatuated and I'm scared of fucking shit up. I'm scared they won't like me back.. They say I'm cute and we talk almost every single day and we've shared a lot of personal information but I'm just feeling like what if he doesn't like me because of all the things I've told him?
I wish I could just be a cute and short reasonably normal girl but all I can manage to be is fucking stupid, oversharing, and overtly sexual in an attempt to gain his affection… For the last couple days its become almost strictly sexual and its kind of depressing because I feel like he must think I'm some kind of whore or that I'm not worth anything other than sex.

Comfy pic so we all feel better.

Anonymous 12640

ah yes, high standards and racism: the two perfect tactics to enhance your dating prospects

Anonymous 12641

I agree with the high standards part but how is she being racist? She’s just describing him. It’s like saying “this ugly white guy approached me” or “I saw this hot Asian guy”.

Anonymous 12642

You've made a tremendous mistake, I thought this sort of thing only happened in Hollywood movies. I didn't think 30 year olds genuinely succeeded in picking up girls fresh out of High School

Anonymous 12649

No it doesn't lmao

Anonymous 12650

are you guy?

Anonymous 12651

Is everyone that disagrees with you on here a guy?

Anonymous 12662

are you a guy, since you know how they think so well?

Anonymous 12673

I can't help but agree with them though. I think if you just keep things really sexual with a guy early then when it comes time for things to get serious you will have someone who very well may not actually like you/have interest in you. If the relationship is built on sex (maybe even just attraction too) instead of long lasting genuine interest in each other as people, then you can't trust that it will last and it's also a sign that the next hot girl will be able to pull their attention from you.

Anonymous 12676

>>12656 (i assume this one is in response to my situation)

Welp guess I'm fucked then. Thanks for letting me know, no sarcasm. I'm gonna still try but at least now I can be prepared for rejection in that regard. I'm probably gonna cry now because I feel so stupid, but I appreciate the insight ^,^

Anonymous 12684

You agree that having something sexual at the beginning immediately ruins any chance of a future with a guy?
Ridiculous statement

Anonymous 12697

yes, also guys take their time if they are really into you because they don't want to fuck up

Anonymous 12698

My standards aren’t all that high but being black is a deal breaker.

Anonymous 12702

Same, there’s nothing wrong with having racial preferences. It’s not ~raycisum~

Anonymous 12703

yeah, I tend to like white or latinos more…
asians feel to girly, I don't get why many of my friends are into kpop guys

Anonymous 12704

Uh yes lol it is racism if you immediately discount potential partners on the basis of their ancestry alone. Which is fine: if someone is racist that's their prerogative and even if you wanted to for some reason you couldn't debate them into being not racist. However it is cowardly and disingenuous to deny being racist when you clearly exhibit such behavior.

Anonymous 12705


Ok, I don’t make a conscious choice being unable to find people outside my race (white) attractive. If that makes me racist, then I’m racist.

But your reasoning reminds me of troons like Riley J. Dennis who think not wanting to fuck them equals transphobia, lol.

Anonymous 12713

I'm not attracted to white guys. Guys with darker olive to dark brown skin are just more attractive to me.
Am I also racist?

If she was making assumptions about personality it would be, but she wasn't.

Anonymous 12746

It's me again. He messaged me last night and friendzoned me but it's for the best.
We're pretty different and don't really share any of the same interests or dispositions. He likes performing and socializing while I like staying in doing solo activities like art and reading. I was just starstruck because he's tiny and cute lmao.

Back to tfw no bf and being femcel I guess! Fuck!

Anonymous 12754

Well, better luck!

Anonymous 12808

You shouldn't be on this board. But you should really try picking girls who aren't like that then
Go for women who you click with, not just some big titty bimbo like all men do

Anonymous 12810

Who cares about your parents and friends? Fuck them , seriously
True love transcends racism
Why do you think there are so many interracial couples out there? Not everyone is a racial fetishist
But seriously if you meet someone you click with you should pursue it, don't limit it to a certain race
And thats cute that you worry about your future babies but that shouldn't stop you either, theres no reason to be ashamed about liking nerdy things
@point 3 you should go for people who you like, and people you can click with! I stress that point because its true
You both will be happy if you can bond over smash brothers or a band or an artist , you will hate each other if she likes clubbing and drinking while you prefer to go to a gaming convention or art museum exhibit
You have to put yourself out there

You have to make the effort, join meet up groups, go to places where girls you would like hang out
you can't just stay indoors online and imagine one day some beautiful girl will knock at your door
you have to make the effort

Anonymous 12811

listen dude if you're gonna browse this place you gotta at least pretend to be a lady

Anonymous 12820


>fem robots

Anonymous 12823

maybe that anon had a seizure…

Anonymous 12824

Maybe it was the poster who said she was looking for a Russian bf. Nerve agent poisoning is known to cause seizures

Anonymous 12825



Anonymous 12827

I'd keep the r9k terminology where it belongs. I don't get troubled by "tfwnobf" that much but for general loneliness finding others to talk to helps. Not harmful, like drugs, and it actually pushes me a little closer towards an actual solution.

Anonymous 12828

Aw man I hate coming back to the thread and seeing deleted posts and knowing I missed a robot spergout.

What was he saying?

Anonymous 12830

Just nonsensical robot babble. Part of how you can recognize they're a death cult is the impenetrable lexicon of neologisms they've developed to isolate members from the outside world. The germ of their worldview is propagated in this language.

Anonymous 12832


This is my first time I've seen this place, let alone known it exists.
I'm just a small, robot-loving robot, that stumbled into here from a thread linked to 4chan.
I'm not really into hate/shit posting, I've been on 4chan so long now, it just feels natural to have anonymous dialogue as part of my daily routine. Sometimes you can find insightful discussions among all the garbage, and I usually also lurk around diy.

I don't mean to disrespect this space by going against rules, but I never knew shy, geeky, nerdy, weeb women had their own place of dialogue on the internet. It gives one some hope to know there are counterparts.
I'm just like >>10347 describes; the issue of a demeanor like this is even just going up and talking to a lady for anything besides directions/time-of-day, makes me feel like I'm intruding upon her world. I mean even just posting here, I sort of am, ya…?
So my only advice would be that if you're looking for a man of this nature, you have to initiate, and you have to clearly express every single "green light", so he knows its safe. Not just safe for him, but safe for you: because inadvertently violating somebody's personal/physical/spiritual space would be a crime/sin against his virtues and brings great guilt.

I don't know what my intent to type here anymore is, and I don't want to violate the rules of the space anymore than this, so I'll bow out and maybe take to lurking in coming days to learn more. It's just good to see you all supporting each other in hopes of better tomorrows.
Anywhere can be paradise as long as you have the will to live. After all, you are alive, so you will always have the chance to be happy. As long as the Sun, the Moon, and the Earth exist, everything will be all right. <3(:tips fedora:)

Anonymous 12834

can you fucking not

men be like: 'o I know the first rule of this board is don't be a dude BUT SURELY they will make an exception for me if I just show that I am a SPECIAL & DIFFERENT male'

Anonymous 12835

exactly, its like they believe 'omg i know i can't post here but if i act nice enough maybe i can slither my creepy ass in and my waifu will appear and love me becuase i acted nice

fucking gets on my nerves

Anonymous 12839

Anonymous 12851

Can't help but find this super patronizing.

Anonymous 12862

We're so grateful.
Now go away.

Anonymous 12869


Anonymous 12872


Mentioning you have a pee pee and then trying to be nice with claims of not being part of the hate as evidence. It's suspicious and your post is totally what a white knight will post. (especially the end because overtly cheesy…)

Anonymous 12873

Honestly it smells like a troll but that doesn't mean we can't make fun of it, cause guys like that exist plenty. I just don't get why they can't just treat women like fellow human beings instead of some superior lifeform? It feels absolutely dehumanizing

Anonymous 12895

Maybe try chatting up fat guys

Anonymous 12904

put down the chips.
look, i'm not trying to be mean or anything, but here's what i figure:
packaging counts. don't blame men for that, because women judge men on their 'packaging' just as often as vice versa. so you either find someone who loves your packaging as is (google 'BBW dating') or you change your packaging. And you're fortunate because weight is something that you can change with relative ease; I say relative because, while it's slow and not fun, something like your ethnicity or facial features would be way more expensive to fix, whereas dieting is essentially free.

Anonymous 12926


>using 'epic' unironically

Anonymous 12934

and look how far that's gotten you.

you dont have to grab them by the dick or anything, just show restrained interest in what ever conversation you have, laugh every now and then, and don't spurg out.

Anonymous 12935


Anonymous 12937

>High IQ
>self analytical
>High inhibition

Anonymous 12951


>>12637 here, turns out you guys were wrong, they actually do like me! I'm so happy and he doesn't think I'm stupid or weird or a whore or anything. We've actually been getting to each other better since then ^o^ I'm trying not to let my negative thoughts get to me~ I hope everything works out!
So, even if everything seems bleak, don't give up on finding you someone you like, who likes you back! OuO

Anonymous 12992

>you dont have to grab them by the dick or anything
Hey don't discount the method till you've tried it yourself.

Anonymous 13010

Public transport during rush hour

Anonymous 13052


Yayyy anon, that is great news!

Anonymous 13091


I fill my sadness with podcasts, I mostly listen to boys talking, it makes me feel like I'm not so alone. I like to find mostly underground shows, I've found one where they're two neets talking shit. They post on boards too so I can relate to that too.

It's here if anyone wants to listen.


Anonymous 13093

do you listen to any true crime stuff? any recommendations in general? i've been binging on sword and scale, the narrator fella is a bit of a tool but i like listening to it while doing repetitive, comforting things on my pc

Anonymous 13098


Not that poster but here are the pods I listen to:

EMCrit: emergency medicine and critical care podcast by an EM rescusitationist who is passionate about airway management

The Puscast: grizzled old infectious disease doctor who reviews the scientific literature in his field every month

The Curbsiders: extremely high profile internal medicine podcast

The Insight: population genetics and anthropology podcast by two Texas based geneticists. Awesome guests on this one

The Dantastic Mr. Tox: medical toxicology

In Our Time: BBC Radio 4 program where Melvyn Bragg interviews experts on a specific topic every week

Cum Town: three NYC comics talking shit

Anonymous 13099



Anonymous 13100

i'll have to look at some of these, thanks for sharing

Anonymous 13101


>subscribed for a $12/month MMO almost exclusively for male interaction
I'm getting what I wanted out of it but I just had a moment of lucidity and realized how much of a lost cause I am.

Anonymous 13102

Anonymous 13103

Why would you pay for something you can get for free

Anonymous 13105

great idea, i think i'll do the same

Anonymous 13106

Yeah, it's pretty fun so far. I'm kind of starting to associate it with my desperation though. Like maybe I'd be better off if I just quit and tried harder to interact irl?
The feeling of escaping real life is nice though.

Anonymous 13107

How do you find friends in MMOs? I only found sort-of friends only after I joined a guild, but even then I didn't know what to talk about to them.
Also I got someone to talk to me from /dancing in the city square and he declared me his wife but that's a different story.

Anonymous 13108

congrats on getting married :)

Anonymous 13111

I've been thinking of giving XIV a try ever since I ditched Runescape cause Jagex is a shit company and is trying their hardest to run the game into the dirt. How /comfy/ is skilling in XIV? Can you solo/duo most PvM content?

I've had great experiences with socially oriented guilds/clans ran by women, while avoiding the social ones run men. The ones ran by men that do include women always strike me as guys trying to use ingame status to make an e-harem or something

Anonymous 13113

What's with Asians and their obsession with height.

My mom just told me that one of our family friends said I was too short to date her son, but because I'm 5 foot flat. And the funny thing is is that this is coming from a 5'2 woman.

I've never experienced this with anything other than other Asian families, where short mom gives birth to a tall son and projects their self hate into you.

Everytime I go back to China people tell me I'm too short and small to be desirable, whilst no one gives a fuck in the west.

Anonymous 13125

Maybe they're concerned about their sons giving them short grandsons? Height is associated with status and income so perhaps this is an extension of regular traditional matchmaking principles where families vet their offspring's potential mates for more commonplace things.

Anonymous 13129


XIV is one of the most comfy games I played. There's the standard dungeoning and stuff but you can also just level up a bunch of crafting crafting professions.
If you wanted to you could just stay in town all the time and craft cute clothes to level up your weaving. That's what I've been doing.
From what I can tell though, I don't think the dungeons can be soloed, you need at least 3 other people for those.


I just thought the characters in XIV looked nice and I already had a couple friends playing it. They were complaining about all the attention they were getting and I got jealous. I've never heard of Torn before though, it looks cool. I'll definitely try it out, thanks.

Anonymous 13134


dude dont be such a bitch
her eis what you said without the cheese and without the "haha i dont know what im doing here im so crazy and im so in touch with my feelings and so different to every other guy; PLS LIKE ME D: ":
if you're looking for a man of this nature, you have to initiate, and you have to clearly express every single "green light"

ffs you should really look into your behaviour

Anonymous 13137

>He's a man, plain and simple.
>Cheats on his gf with a girl 10 years younger

I think you got caught up in your own idealization of him. Don't be so hard with yourself, the one who is being a shitty person with their gf is him.

Anonymous 13146

You may not like to hear this, but I think you finally learned that what you want is not always what you need. The guy you thought was awesome turned out to be a scumbag. Maybe not a scumbag in obvious douchebag way, people are more complex than that, but a way older guy in relationship who cheats on his gf with younger girl on first cheat date is not a good guy no matter how you put it. Don't be too harsh on yourself, it was a mistake, but hopefully you're much smarter from it.

It would be better if you don't see or talk to him again, who knows how many other girls he has been seeing behind his girlfriend's back.

Anonymous 13150

>cheats on gf
>not obvious douchebag

Anonymous 13151

According to her story he was sweet, caring, affectionate, and other nice things, so on surface level he may seem like the ideal guy. Those kind of aspects can easily cloud young woman's judgement who doesn't know better. I don't think she would be in this situation in the first place if the guy was more obvious about wanting to just bang girls behind his girlfriend's back. He knew how to be sneaky about this and did the douchiest thing in the book by remaining smooth the whole time.

Anonymous 13172

Asian beauty standards are tall slender women
Just look at kpop
Don't take it too seriously girl
The men here in the US prefer shorter women

Anonymous 13201

Stop it you people! Now I want to play this game, but I don't have the time or money. As if the cute dragon boys weren't tempting enough.

Anonymous 13203

I'm short too (1,55 m) and I've never heard from my Asian relatives I was undesirable due to my height. Your family friends are weird. Just ignore them.

Anonymous 13262

I concur with her. Why would you?

Anonymous 13264

nta but
>not being able to handle a sub boyfriend

Anonymous 13266


Handling is fine tbh
But i loose all respect for them
>long term thats kill

Also long term sub bf are just a drag
Most end up being dependent and clingy.
>Pic Related, Short term cute, long term annoying

Anonymous 13271

>finding them cute but not being dependable and devoted enough to be willing to care for them in every way
Even weaker.

But I do also like caring for animals so it may just be my personality type. Even the "cost" is fulfilling.

Anonymous 13272


>Hmpf i attract animals everywhere i go, its annoying.
Birds land next to me, lizards crawl up to me, dogs/cats both try to snuggle, even fish come closer.

I don't like authority figures, and to not be a hypocrite i refuse to become one
>Also why i don't fit with normies, instead just float about aimless

Anonymous 13303

Because some women prefer privately submissive partners? What kind of question even is this?

Anonymous 13441


I want to give you all a hug.

Anonymous 13483

Don't let school experiences set your expectations. KIds are unempathetic to the point of being evil.

Anonymous 13493

I struck up a conversation with a guy who I share 3 classes with and we're adding each other on fb.
I'm thinking of approaching this a different way this time (I'm the anon who asked a guy on a date and messed it up by being too blunt with my intent and overall weird). I want to become friends with him first to see if we get along, then move things further if it works out.

Anonymous 13495

Failed already, he has a girlfriend.
I'll still be his friend though. I can't meet people without knowing other people. Maybe he has a cute friend, I am ever optimistic!

Anonymous 13540

i mean, kids, sure.
however i feel like once you're a teenager, you know the difference between right and wrong. and the people who are assholes in high school usually continue to be so unless they have a dramatic change in environment/experience.

Anonymous 13600

Hey, at least you tried. Still better than wilting away the year wondering "what if". Take the L and move on.

Anonymous 13667

You better be a girl. Otherwise begone, smegsie.

Anonymous 13715

What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I unable to even convince a guy to hold my hand when it's supposedly so easy for women to get dates? The last time I was ever asked out was when I was ten lmao. I've asked men out since myself, but it never goes anywhere.
What am I doing to fuck this up so bad? My face is average, I have a decent WHR, I smell nice, and I take care of my appearance (although I don't wear contemporary fashion or makeup).
Admittedly I do have imperfect skin, a small chest, and a wide nose while not being fully white. I'm not into white guys though so that shouldn't be too big of an issue. I'm also slightly taller than average. And I wear glasses but am fixing that issue soon.

Please diagnose me with something. Why do they stay away? Even if it was my personality, why have I never even been hit on creepily in my adult life?

Anonymous 13716

What type of boy do you like? What are your standards?

Anonymous 13717

I like short and skinny non-white men. The only standards I have are hygiene and agreeability. I don't even care if he's unemployed/in dead end minimum wage.

I always thought my standards were reasonable.

Anonymous 13718

>I have a decent WHR
took me a hot minute to figure out what the hell that meant

Anonymous 13726

>And I wear glasses but am fixing that issue soon.
Not an issue if you get good ones

> wide nose while not being fully white. I'm not into white guys though so that shouldn't be too big of an issue.


cutting out ~70% of the population for a physical trait they can't control isn't very reasonable. Sounds like you have some sort of complex

Anonymous 13729

As if the majority of white men would date a half-brown girl lmao. I don't have physical traits that white guys generally find attractive (smaller frame, dainty face, thin nose, light hair, etc.). And I'm not Asian so I can't pull that either.

That said, most men in the west have preferences shaped by the white majority's beauty standards so maybe I'm just fucked regardless.

Anonymous 13732

>As if the majority of white men would date a half-brown girl lmao.

That's what I meant by complex. It's one thing if you find all white men repulsive, but another thing entirely to not consider dating them because you're afraid they'll reject you.

You're incorrect, lots of white men like half-brown girls. Especially since your standard is 'agreeable'. It's hard for me to imagine an agreeable man that's also a racist. If you don't believe me then make an OkCupid or Bumble account.

Anonymous 13742

I mean, I do also find darker guys more attractive on average so I kind of have dueling reasons. And the "white" guys I like are often at least part Jewish or something haha.

I've been rejected by both white and non-white men of varying eyhnic backgrounds at this point so maybe it is irrelevant. I may consider joining a dating website at some point, I'll probably have to resort to it eventually.

Anonymous 13748

Please don't encourage her to race mix. I know you mean well but there are fewer and fewer white people out there.

Anonymous 13749

It's too late anon, I'm already a symbol of white genocide just by existing.

Anonymous 13750

>why have I never been hit on creepily in my adult life?

Holy shit, I feel this 100%. I never get creeps, only other girls and grandpa types.

Anonymous 13751

Are you mulatto? There's nothing wrong with that since you have no power over that outcome. I'm just telling you it's not a good idea to race mix

Anonymous 13753

thread derail.gif

I see where this is going

Anonymous 13755

Right! I've been catcalled once and it was by a girl lmao.
Technically "mestizo" if we're using those terms, but I agree with >>13753
I accept your opinions although we have differing views, have a nice day.

Anonymous 13772

Please actually seppuku if you think "theres not enough white people" is a legitimate problem.

To be on topic: Today I'm feeling sad because I feel really ugly and I think Im starting to revert back to anorexia because I feel like no one will ever love me if I'm not skinny. I just want a good boy to love and give all my attention to, so I don't focus on myself so much

Anonymous 13777

I started going to college recently and of course there is some guy that caught my eye and yesterday in class he came up to me and I thought I was blocking his path so I moved from my seat and he says "actually I wanted to ask if I can sit next to you" and he goes and sits somewhere else and I think I SCREWED UP but then luck shone on me and I had to move next to him anyway and he kept looking over at me all the time but ME being the STUPID tsundere I just automatically tried my hardest to ignore him.
How 2 stop being like this? I can talk a little with people who I don't care about but when it's someone I admire I just avoid them. I even forgot to ask his name even though he explained something to me because I was too flustered.

Anonymous 13796

stop being a fucking idiot

Anonymous 13913

>tfw no bf to beat bloody and mutilate beyond recognition

Anonymous 13946


>male-model-tier-bone-structured-well-dressed motherfucker who sits next to me in one of my classes smiles at me
Have I made it?
pic related looks like him just imagine some acne and very skelly.

He's not even my type but I feel validated as a female human bean. No looks of disgust.

Anonymous 13949

100% my type. You're so lucky anon.
>tfw no male-model-tier-bone-structured-well-dressed motherfucker in my life

Anonymous 13950


I honestly might try complimenting his outfit next week since I've never even heard him speak. I could always use more straight male friends who don't want to date me.

He'd be my type if he wasn't white. He's about 80% my type otherwise.

I believe you can find a cute boy, anon! They're out there!

Anonymous 13977


What would change in your life if you got a bf?

Anonymous 13978

>more cuddles
>tangible reason for living and working my hardest for a better future
>less sexual frustration
>probably about the same amount of crying, but happy tears
>maybe some emotional problems because I have trust issues

Anonymous 13987

>aside from work or errands, i never leave the house

It'll never happen at this rate :' )

Anonymous 13988

My queen sized bed wouldnt be empty

Anonymous 13997


I have a bf now UwU

Hahahahaha UwU <3

If I got a bf you can get one too, don't give up

But mine is still better than any bf you girls could ever get

Anonymous 14001



Anonymous 14005


ive caught the hottest guy on campus staring at me more than 3 times… im going to assume he was actually staring at me /and/ thinking what i hope he was :)

Anonymous 14009

>go and spew hatred in the man-hate thread on lc
>come here to vent my misery about having no bf
>want to beat, abuse, and control a guy
>also want to buy him expensive gifts and protect him from the world
What did I mean by this?

Anonymous 14011

It's nice to know I am not alone in my patheticness.
(I still haven't talked to him because I don't know how to talk to people)
(and he still sits relatively close to me every time even though I sit away from everyone, that means he wants to marry me right guys)

Anonymous 14012

I think it means that you need to avoid pursuing a relationship for now and figure your shit out first

Anonymous 14013

You sound like my mom.
And you're both probably right.

Anonymous 14014


don't ever call me mom-like again

Anonymous 14016

I know i am probably more autistic than you, but if you have so much trouble talking to him, how about writing?
You know little notes in class.
Did that with my friends all the time.
Maybe it helps break the ice for you so you can talk easily with him.
Like: "Sorry i did not asked you name."
If he asked why tell him writing is easier for you and you don't disturb the class.

Anonymous 14020

thank you, that is a really nice idea, but there is just no time in class to do anything else but concentrate on the lesson because I am afraid I wouldn't understand something later. But I promise I will talk to him sometime, I mean I don't know why I am promising, not like it matters to you. And thanks again

Anonymous 14021

Now lisen here ano.
We will most likely never met. You can't even be sure if i am the ano from >>14016, but i can asure you that it matters to me.
I would not have answered you if it didn't mattered to me.
I take you promise for grand. So you have to write here again when you talked to him.

I am rooting for you.

Anonymous 14022

It's okay to vent, but when you eventually meet that nice qt boi who is as nice as he is a qt, you are going to regret every single bad word you have ever said about men.

Anonymous 14023


wow, thank you for caring about me, I really feel honored! Why is everyone on crystal café so nice anyway? I feel unworthy of this place.
Thank you for rooting for me, I wish I could root for you too but I don't know anything about you so I will just wish you all the best.

Anonymous 14027


don't feel honored ano, i am not special at all.
I don't know, but i love it! That is why crystal café is the only imageboard i am on. Personal i hope that if i am nice to people they will be nice in return, or even better they will be happy and will be nice to others.
I am a boring person so there is nothing to root for me, so wishing the best is actually very nice.

Anonymous 14037

I know half of it is hypocritical from me, too. The peeves I have about men are similar to things I do myself; wanting to be violent during sex, obsession with status and overcategorizing people, having an explosive temper, being blunt and thinking only in black-and-white, being sickly fixated on sex and thinking of it 24/7, etc.
Males are just more prone to acting on those impulses. That's the only thing I can truly hate about them without being a hyposhit.

I know there are genuinely kind guys out there, I just have complex feelings towards them because they don't fit into the box I've made for men and none of them want me anyway.
>tfw personality wise you're just a gender flipped incel


Anonymous 14199


My last chance was today and I chickened out. He held the door for me, though, even when I was too far away and had to fast walk a bit for it pfff. I think he also noticed me looking at him, but he's glanced at me a few times as well. I don't know if this means anything, I feel like he's a bit out of my league.

Next Monday for sure, or else it will bother me all semester.

I think I might have actually developed a little crush on the guy jfc. Kill me now.

Anonymous 14337

I know it is not even two weeks but could you talk to him ano?

Anonymous 14339

…errrrrrrrr n-n-n-no, sorry. I don't know what I should even say. I wish I had something to ask him or something, that would be easier, I have nothing to talk to him about.
But tomorrow I have 2 hours between classes, and last week at the same time I was studying outside and he walked past me, like really slowly as if he wanted me to notice him or he wanted to say something to me (but maybe I am overthinking it, that is also very possible) but I was so engrossed in studying I didn't even notice him lol if he does it again I'll call out to him. maybe. I hope I do. dammit.
I wouldn't have cared about him if he never paid any attention to me but since he showed me like 1% of affection now I get this weird painful feeling in my heart whenever I see him

Anonymous 14343

I chickened out (again), but only because I learned his name via it being called out in class. Vital information I used to immediately search for his social media.
Turns out he's a musician, which makes that the second one I've been interested in this semester. Different instrument though, and he's in a band. He's also a poet and seems to just be an all around Artsy Boy. He also shares a last name with a guy I used to work with, and since he's a small town huwhite boy I assume they're related lmao.
I might go for friendship at least. And he IS single…could I be the art (femcel) of his dreams? (No)

Anonymous 14349


I'm just posting to vent now.

I let this information settle a bit and have decided to not go for the chase in the end. He's probably an extroverted normie like the last one and I'm not even sexually attracted to him, just aesthetically. He'd reject me and I don't even want him. That's just a waste of everyone's time.

But why are men either super extroverted or degenerate robots? I have a specific type of introversion and I don't know if there are any (healthy and kind) men out there who share it. Even my nerdy male friends have energetic social lives with each other and in school (as in they chat with people regularly and get involved in clubs); I just like being alone and having a Designated Talking Time with my one best friend haha. I've tried branching out but anyone I befriend in class is part of the chatty extrovert club and are always texting one of their millions of friends. Admittedly I'm not that interesting of a person so expecting to hold their attention is silly, but that's kind of the point. I want to find someone equally as boring and romantic so badly.

TL;DR I just want to date someone to be alone together with and although I'm desperately lonely I can't off to white guys.

Anonymous 14363

No problem ano.
You said you have to pay attention to class because it is much to learn
How about: "Hi /guys name/ did you understand /study subject/? I have my problems with it."
Or "hey /guys name/ today was ruff don't you think?"

I can't tell you if you just think that he seems intrested in you or not.
But you will never find out if you don't try.
Sorry,I don't want to push you into something but I don't want you to end up like me.

Don't be sad ano.
Maybe you can befriend him and he has a nice single friend. If you have the same interrests as he has.

If not maybe he is not for you.

Well I don't met many guys but all my male friends are okay. No bf material but otherwise okay.
But I don't know with the extrovert and introvert.

Anonymous 14671

True fact, Melvyn Bragg is my neighbour, got sweets from himm on hallowe'en growing up and everything

Anonymous 46475

Damn, this thread being bumped is nostalgic.

Anonymous 46480


I want a bf more than anything rn, been single my whole life and would do anything to experience one. I feel like nearly everyone around me has been in at least one relationship, or is getting into a relationship rn

I'm tired of focusing on school and my career and personal growth I just wanna care about someone else

I hooked up with this guy who is 100% my type and want him so bad but he just got out of a relationship, he probably thinks way less about me than I think of him

Anonymous 46483


tfw i recently got the bf :) he's taller than me, skinny but built and a cute nerd who likes the same sorta films as me and stuff

Anonymous 46497

Don't give up hope, anon. You don't know for sure what he thinks of you and besides, even if it is true that he doesn't like you as much right now- his mind can always change the longer you get to know each other. A lot of people go from hook-ups to dating, but it doesn't usually happen instantaneously. Good luck!

Aw, congrats anon! I bet you two are really cute :)

Anonymous 46511

You’re too kind anon.
Sadly we live like an hour away from eachother so I don’t think I’ll be seeing him often sadly. And I honestly don’t know when I’ll see him again.
But I guess I’ll have hope.

Anonymous 48188

is it normal to not have the honeymoon phase? I like my bf and find him cute but i'm yet to get super fluttery feelings or anything although i am happy to see him when he's around

Anonymous 48192

This is totally OK anon. I was the same way with my boyfriend, never got butterfly feelings. I felt more peaceful around him than anything else, still do. I prefer it this way because I feel like I really chose him as opposed to being drawn towards him against my will. When I'm infatuated with someone in that way it tends to be someone who will end up hurting me anyway. We've been together for 2+ years now so clearly the lack of butterflies hasn't hurt us in any way.

Anonymous 48206

>the lack of passion and spark would be really hard for me and I would get bored fast
How long do your passionate sparking relationships usually last, Anon?

Anonymous 48240


I reread some posts itt I wrote ages ago and they filled with a sense of dread. I was so hopeful back then, but after two years, nothing has changed. I'm still lonely, I have yet to hold hands with anyone, I'm getting more and more frustrated with my life, looks, mother, everything. I don't even want a boyfriend anymore, at this point I just need some physical affection from a guy.

Anonymous 48243


Thanks anon knowing that really helps, I am genuinely attracted to him but with my ex there was this feeling of "being attracted to him aggaint my will" despite him not being a great person and although it was intense I don't think it's healthy to go through that again

Anonymous 48259

>at this point I just need some physical affection from a guy
Passed that point ages ago, now I'm at the point where one only dares to hope for a whiff of another mammal's smell.

Anonymous 48261


>went on /soc/ in a moment of weakness
>actually found some dude
>enjoyed the first few talks
>he starts talking more and more about sex
>"haha i bought those tomorrow just in case"
>"tbh i just want a text buddy whos dtf sometimes haha"
>date tomorrow
I'm going to try to have a good time but Christ never again. I'm a HKV at 21 and would rather keep it that way until its with someone I actually get to know and like. The fact hes already thinking of sex and is TELLING me when I never brought it up is rubbing me the wrong way. Maybe after this I'll buy a dakimakura and start lifting until I find someone in person I can click with

Anonymous 48265

this sounds like a horrible idea, i would cancel, personally. i would definitely cancel if i was a 21 yo KHV.

Anonymous 48266

Kind of same, I used to post in these threads all the time.
But I've become a different person now so it's moreso making me cringe. Right now I'm comfortable being with me.

Anonymous 48268

Fucker already rented a hotel room I don't know if I should just like leave early in the morning or stay up all night make sure he doesn't pull any shit then leave fairly early in the morning, some bullshit excuse

Anonymous 48270

why would he rent a hotel room for a date? that's not reasonable and it's not reasonable for you to go to his hotel room. this is obviously going to end with him trying to pressure you into sex. anyways, you don't need to go just because he rented a hotel room. you aren't obligated to meet up with him. i'd tell him you feel uncomfortable and you're sorry but you really are not the type of person he's looking for and he shouldn't waste his time on you because you can't be that for him, like you're doing him a favor by freeing him up.

no offense but you don't sound like someone that will do well in a high pressure situation with someone you just met off /soc/ who very clearly is just looking for one thing. he's already sunk money into you through just the hotel, and is going to expect you put out. he will expect it even more if he sinks more time and effort into you by going out on a date. depending on how he booked, he could get a refund. non-refundable hotels are in the minority.

Anonymous 48272

yeah if he already rented a room that's his problem, people bail all the time and it's not gonna ruin his life if you cancel. That's what you should do unless you want to be pressured into sex with some worthless guy who doesn't even respect you.

Anonymous 48274

I called it off, tysm. I've been on a few (obviously reckless and bad ideas) dates like this but this is the first time where it truly felt…. rapey? I was conflicted and not really thinking clearly so getting advice was the next best bet.
Fuck man, why is it so hard to find a non creepy dude but is also really into the hobbies I'm into? Reallt starting to think that tweet about the dating pool for young women is true :/

Anonymous 48275


Yesss amazing anon, I understand the frustration but that's def the right choice in this situation

Anonymous 48287

this was a smart move and the safest move for you. glad you chose what was best for you and not for him. definitely don't meet up with a guy from the internet and go straight to a hotel for a date or after a date, anon, like for future reference, this is not good. very dangerous, especially if you meet them on an imageboard, and just keep in mind you really have no obligation to any man you meet.

Anonymous 48315

I'm really glad you called it off anon, there is a much better guy for you out there

Anonymous 48320

>city of 8 million
>too inept to get a bf

Anonymous 48327


I have never read a post this obviously made by a normie that's pretending to not be one.
All you're missing is the "just be yourself and put yourself out there!!!"

Anonymous 48344

I love hanging out with my friends or doing stuff on my own but lately I've been craving the idea of getting to do stuff with a significant other instead. Not even elaborate vacations or plans, but super simple things like sit in a park, get coffee, talk a walk, or watch the sunset.

I think what makes doing these things with a significant other so attractive is that I can interact with them in ways I wouldn't with my friends, via physical interactions like hand holding and communication wise.

I'm just so ready for the next level of relationships and want someone to make memories, experience things, and spend time with. It sucks when family members or friends try to catch up with me and ask me about relationships or a potential boyfriend and I have nothing to say.

Anonymous 48613

Would getting a bf even be worth it? Or would I just be dragging another human-being into my bullshit. I feel like dating when depressed is pretty selfish, but I don't want to be lonely while I try to "heal."

Anonymous 48614

go for it. you can always learn something new. if you're bad at knowing warning signs for your depression, a loving partner can help as well. i found my long-term partner when we were both depressed and we slowly healed each other.

Anonymous 48615

So it can be fun to dump your emotional baggage on someone?

Anonymous 48626

My sexuality confuses me which is why I don't date anymore. I never wanna have sex or do romantic things with my boyfriends. I never feel butterflies, etc. Maybe it's just that I'm not a visual person, but I'm not sexually attracted to men AT ALL physically. You could show me a bunch of "hot" guys naked, and I won't be attracted to any of them, and I couldn't even choose which one is the most "attractive" of the bunch. It's like looking at an object, just meh… neutral

I have no desires to be sexual or romantic (i.e kissing, hugging, etc) with boyfriends.

However, I do with fictional people and shit that I daydream about it. Though, it's more so the psychological aspect (and I have to do this whole maladapative daydeam scenario that takes like 4 hours to develop, lmao) is it just me being picky???

In porn, on the rare occasions that I watch it, I only watch PoV focusing on the female, but I don't know if I'm even attracted to women either… Am I asexual, if so, why do I masturbate to fictional characters and shit?

Anonymous 48643

not what i said in my post at all. people can't just heal on their own, they need social support of loved ones. but you need to put in effort yourself and make sure it's a balanced relationship, otherwise it turns unhealthy and toxic.

Anonymous 48644

I do this too, anon!

Honestly, I think fictional men drastically outperform real men, they're more appealing to us because they embody what the real thing lacks: honesty and vunerability.

I don't really have any advice for you, sadly. But it's nice to be able to relate!

[Return] [Catalog]
[ Rules / FAQ ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / x ]