pros/cons of your bf Anonymous 105405
can we please start a pros/cons list of the bf you are dating.
i am sick of seeing bf brag threads, we need a counterbalance with the crappy things your bf does on top of the good things. can be as little as pet peeves!
>hottest guy I’ve ever dated (but doesn’t know how hot he is)
>shared media interests
>hobbies outside of media consumption, and has picked up more girly hobbies with me
>just the right amount of edgy for me
>cares about how he dresses
>good personal hygiene
>a bit of a bad boy so seeing him behave like a softie around me is hawt
>knows he’s dumber than me so he doesn’t bother mansplaining or debating with me
>materialistic with designer brands
>emotionally stunted. I need to go talking-to-toddler mode to get any kind of communication from him without him shutting down/arguing with me)
>sad about abstract, stupid stuff often. I don’t mind comforting him but it gets repetitive
>dumb as bricks
>doesn’t watch porn anymore but is still porn-damaged
>awful at cleaning (he does try, but is so inefficient and doesn’t have any organisation)
He’s still mine though
>deeply loving and overflowing with affection
>can set himself to learning about anything I enjoy so we can talk about it
>very intelligent and deeply practical
>calm, controlled and reasonable
>filled with random knowledge and useful skills I can fall back on if I'm in trouble
>good with money and focused on making good choices for the future
>tough and stoic with others; inspires confidence and deters bullies
>is a great cook
>treats me with respect and like an actual life-partner
>the most dependable human being on Earth
>enjoys doing household chores with me
>hobbies are all low-investment (except for all the tools and equipment he accumulates)
>watched porn, but is realistic about sex
>doesn't objectify or belittle women
>literally the perfect dad for our future kids
>emotionally stunted in the extreme (processes sadness as anger at himself)
>forgets my needs often (things like physical contact) and requires reminding
>hyperfocused on one thing at a time and needs to complete it or he'll be distracted and irritable
>zero impulsivity and needs to plan things out 4+ hours ahead
>can't read conversational subtext or nuanced body language
>needs to be mentally engaged constantly and finds it in audiobooks/podcasts; locks me out for hours at a time
>is a generous lover, but has body image issues that stop me from doing things to him that I enjoy
>absolutely no sense of style
>cannot fathom enjoyment from aesthetics
>introverted and needs to expend huge amounts of emotional energy to engage with my friends and work
How’d you meet him he sounds mature and a grown ass adult man. I’m sick of dating men mentally stuck at 16 years old and can’t cook or clean or plan anything in advance
lol, at a game shop. I just wanted to buy a board game, but he was playing at a huge strategy table (where two groups of players simulate a historical war) and happily explained how he was about to crush the Soviet advance towards the Finnish capital.
- not active on social media
- quite tall
- fairly attractive
- doesn’t have female friends
- has his priorities straight
- too quiet/mysterious
- keeps his opinions to himself
- no social media but always seen using a device
- definitely active on secret internet forums/discord chats
- doesn’t gawk at other women, might not watch porn but doubt it (never discussed this topic)
- isn’t condescending when it comes to me/others not knowing things
- secretly a judgmental fuck but is nice about it (but you can feel him judging you)
>No political opinions like at all. It's like the part of your brain that cares about stuff you can't change never flipped on.
>No drug or drimk. Never even considers it.
>Loves animals. When we travel together, the local zoo is pretty much always a necessary destination.
>Super sweet. Never has a bad thing to say about anyone.
>Never angry at all.
>I was his only ever girlfriend, which still astounds me when I thin about it.
>Not materialistic at all.
>Hard working. Gets stuff done very quickly, while still being really chill.
>Is the cook between the two of us most of the time.
>Handsome and fit.
>Big, perfectly aqua colored eyes
>He has the tastes of a child when it comes to media and is pretty closed minded to things grown-ups are supposed to like. He pretty much only likes Nintendo when it comes to games, cartoons when it comes to tv/movies, and stuff like The Beach Boys and Donovan when it comes to music.
>He gets anxious very easily.
>Really doesn't like me having a firearm.
>His parents (while very nice) are 2 of the most retarded people I have ever met and some of their braindead decision making rubs off on him at times.
>Definitely needs help with things the vast majority of adults do not. Well outside the threshold of me needing to be "mommy" though.
>Has a child's vocabulary. This was gonna be in "pros" because it's refreshing being with someone who never swears, but having to stop to explain what "insipid" means mid sentence is kind of frustrating.
Couldn't believe no other girls took him while we were in high school, couldn't believe he was still single by the time we were both adults. Fine by me, I'll take him.
>listens to me and does what I say
>listens to me and does what I say
he's 100% a whipped simp and I can make him do whatever. don't know if it's a good thing or not.
-loves me unconditionally and views me like some kind of goddess, willing to adjust his goals to meet mine. He is so faithful
-forgiving and sweet, puts up with me and forgives even when I am terrible
-Can tell him anything, only person I am really myself aroumd
-sperg with anger issues and regularly destroys expensive shit (cellphones, monitors, punches holes in walls), cant handle stress
-poor employment history, he cant hold a job for long, goes months at a time unemployed (hes been working on his EMT license though)
-800 miles away and cant visit all the time
-lives with mom
Pros: He's really caring towards me, cooks and bakes tasty things, shared interests, pretty, loves cuddling, passionately reciprocates during sex.
Cons: He wants kids and I don't, so we agree that we'll break up eventually. I'm worried I'm wasting my time staying with him instead of finding a different, longterm partner. Also, he said he doesn't love me, just like me. But I feel the same, so I don't know if it's worth breaking up over. I'm afraid I won't find a new guy with his pros that doesn't come with another set of cons.
>>105431>pros: not active on social media>cons: no social media
>>105691>can't handle stress>wants to be an EMT
The problem isn't that he has no social media, but that he's always using devices despite not having a legitimate reason to do so. He's probably doing something more dubious.
>has many positive traits, he's loving, caring, sweet, intelligent, pragmatic etc
>genuinely has a heart of gold, helped me & my family countless times - well off
>not your average moid, i.e. not a brainless coomer
>good cook, vegetarian
>mentally stable, unlike me. has the patience of a saint when it comes to dealing with my mental issues
>half the time we fuck his dick goes limp - lot to do with self esteem issues and overthinking
>not ugly, but not conventionally attractive either. short, going bald, etc
>has social anxiety
>not assertive at all
yeah I love my moid despite it all. the pros outweigh the cons for me. well, most of the time.
>>105762>not a brainless coomer>half the time we fuck his dick goes limp - lot to do with self esteem issues and overthinking
I've got bad news for you, nona.
And the news is not that he's gay but that he's testosterone deficient.
My version of news was that he coomed his brains into performance anxiety, but I guess that works too.
you sound like a scrote, tbh. but to answer your question, no, I already talked about this with him. He's just got performance anxiety or whatever it's called.
A lot of moids only interact with women through the prism of playing the long game and potentially fucking them at some point.
Of course, just like every view, this approach can be taken too far, but I see absolutely nothing wrong with a presumption of guilt in this case, since you're the one who might have to deal with a sociopathic freak like that.
On the other hand, now that I think about it, the examples of such moids in my life all have so many telltale signs, despite putting on a facade of niceness, that maybe being too suspicious is also not a good thing.
Out of the top of my head?
Never being in a long-term relationship is the best sign. No matter how nice they are, the moment a woman makes it clear that she wants a proper relationship, this type of scrote will shut down and then proceed to ghost and/or gaslight her into quitting him. After all is said and done he might even try to paint himself as the victim, accuse the girl of being too clingy, etc.
Open about porn consumption. Not disgusted by open relationships. Very explicit about preferring "high value" women (bimbos and or e-hoes). "I wish I had an Onlyfans girlfriend."
Openly bragging about sex to other scrotes.
Acting very open and friendly towards all women who aren't commited/conventionally attractive, complete 180 otherwise.
Getting caught cheating, ever. Duuh.
>Intelligent, legit genius
>Tall, good physique, dresses well
>Very good looking
>Great at cooking
>Hard working, good with finances
>Good in bed, lots of stamina, accepts trying my kinks
>Very Able to put himself in other people's places, especially me
>90% great sense of humor
>Same interests, either in media, sports, general activities
>Almost no porn influence
>Reads people like a book
>Perfectionist, won't stop until he reached his percieved perfection on the matter/activity
>Becomes unhinged when he is really inserted into something he likes, snaps out only when its done
>Schemer, like he's some kind of politician or nobleman
>"Hannibal Lecter mindset", not afraid to gaslight, manipulate and scheme for his own good
>Medium-low sex drive, I always have to start up intimacy
>Plans X event ahead, if what he planned doesn't happen he gets anxious, nervous, and tries to "auto-correct" his plan
>Sometimes snobs about his tastes on something
>Eats his nails
>Addicted to ASMR, like turkish barbers, rainy forests and questionnaires
>Tends to avoid conflict at all costs
He is academically very gifted, but also gifted in non-academic related things. Who ruled Egypt during the Persian invasion? He knows it, how many soldiers took action in some unknown battle in bumfuck nowhere Europe? He knows it, complex mathematics, physics, chemistry, the sympthoms of many diseases, car mechanics, which art trend this paniting belongs to, how to brew moonshine, explosives,computer stuff etc. He's a walking enciclopedia, I joke that he's always tired from having to carry his brain all day
>>105818>he's memorized a lot of facts
Sounds more like an autist than a genius
Well, depends on what your perception of intelligence and knowlage is, as far as I know he never showed any signs of 'tism
>>105821>Plans X event ahead, if what he planned doesn't happen he gets anxious, nervous, and tries to "auto-correct" his plan
This is litterally a telltale sign of the 'tism. Maybe not to the point it's a problem, but he's definitely in the spectrum.
I know a few guys like that. They regurgitate what they read online from endless scrolling of trivia sites and with the extreme confidence of narcissism that might fool you into thinking he knows something.
Ask him to actually make moonshine for example. He won't be able to.
There is nothing wrong and narcissistic about sharing trivia. At least not inherently. Knew one moid who would genuinely brag about reading wiki and watching youtube essays.
Not inherently if it's relevant and brief, but clear signs>tells it to you when it's totally irrelevant to the context>asks you baiting questions you're supposed to not know so he can talk about it "Did you know how many Assyrians died in the battle of Persia?" etc>goes on and on about it
Nah, sharing cool facts is fun. You're overanalyzing a normal way to talk to people.
Not if the sharer is only sharing these facts to look smart or to receive some sort of perverse pleasure from half-hearted interest over their obsession.
Huh, well, idk, no one never pointed it out, he's been to psychiatrists and psycologists before, idk really.>>105827>Ask him to actually make moonshine for example. He won't be able to
Well…I did, this is one of the bottles from his latest
run at it, this one is made of sugar cane, he even gifted one to my father for some reason>>105828>>105830>>105836>>105837
He's not narcissistic about his big brain, or at least he does not intend to, he won't trick you into asking him difficult things or just randomly start spewing his 4000 year old Babylonian facts. He only shows the things he knows if the conversation is about said topic or if he is genuinely asked about said topic.
I wish I had a smartie pants bf who can handle finances. I’d probably end up wasting $1000s on dumb useless shit like pop sockets :(
Forgot to add I am too low IQ for a smart bf so I will never get one but I think that would be my number one priority so he could take good care of me. Are there guys out there who don’t mind a dumb gf ? I can only dream,,, a man like that probably would rather get a girlfriend who can keep up with him mentally and intellectually stimulate him
166 , sorry for the wait, had to check on the documents>>105845
Nona, I'm not that smart either, I'm avarage, he does not like me because of what my brain does, I'm sure you'll find a bf who will stop you from buying $2000 in funko pops or miniatures
if I had that IQ I’d learn multiple languages. What was he like as a child? Did he skip three grades?
I once dated a doctor with an IQ of 150 and he manipulated his third grade class into holding a student strike to get out of schoolwork kek. Peak anime villainery right there
Pro: he’s really loving and touchy
Con:he’s really loving and touchy
I meant that he likes me for reasons not related to my academic intelligence. >>105849
He knows English, Portuguese, German, Italian and Russian. As a child he clearly showed his gifts, I remember him writing and reading at 5 while most of the rest only got the hang of it at 8. Unfortunaly our country's school system does not allow smart kids to skip grades. >Peak anime villainery right there
He once manipulated about 20 people into having different plans/disagreements with each other just so 7 of them could go watch a football match wit him (His team got trashed)
>>105853>I remember him writing and reading at 5
So you knew him in first grade?
>>105855>childhood friend bf>who's also a super genius
If he's never had sex with anyone else, you've won at life.
Unfortunaly his idiotic dipshit uncle and cousin thought it would be a good idea to ultra gaslight him (literally threatening to call him homo to his whole family) into having intercourse with his friend's daughter during a party when he was 16 to "Make him a man sooner then later". I assume this is the reason for his half-battery sex drive but I'll never question him about it
Well, we can't all be winners.
Personally, I'd rather have a 100 iq virgin than a 166 iq nonvirgin, all other things being equal.
My kindness, the fact that we share many interests, my willingness to listen to some of his more complicated interests, my looks (From what his mom said), and that we just have a strong bond, I think>>105860
Well, unfortunaly these things happen, I'm not insecure about it, he was pressured into it, and he didn't like it, he has 0 contact with the bitch and does not wish to have.
>very intelligent, with really good knowledge in his field
>very good looking and hot, even without working out muscles are showing
>a lot of interests and hobbies, always has something to talk about
>great sense of humor matching mine
>worldview and most of the opinions matching mine as well
>compliments me quite a lot
>very broad tastes in music, showed me a lot of stuff I listen to daily
>masters everything quite quickly
>close to autistic in his hobbies, prone to bouts of depression and hyperactivity
>can be socially rude sometimes. I get that pleasing everyone shouldn't be a thing, but sometimes some politeness is great
>doesn't really love me/respect me. I mean he loves me to an extent, but after 5 years together I'm starting to think that he won't be able to love anyone deeply. Or he might find some unhinged genius girl who will ruin his life, but he knows that, so he won't
I'll remember the deleted replies even if it's gone now.
It was damn funny.
yeah too many nonas replied to the salty scrote kek
Some scrote replying to the thread as if "her' supposed bf was this unreal super mega hot dilf who had no cons, and some nonas took time off replying to it
>the ones with average-looking bfs don't post
>anons exaggerate the handsomeness of their bfs because they're super in love
>board is full of Stacies
I'd say it's the 2nd. Average bfs don't get mentioned. Between this and the other thread there's probably only one or two posts which says bf is average looking/height/attractiveness. Who wants to talk about how average their partner is?
humans gotta gush and wear rose-tinted glasses to fall in love. i made the thread and included cons list because i'd like to see the struggles of dating and relationships. it helps me to see if i can get into a relationship with realities and objectivity, not blind gushiness.
i suppose this is a bf brag and bf complaint thread, it's cozy and one of my favorite types of threads to lurk as someone who is single and wants to observe and learn from others!
>Very physically affectionate (cuddles, kisses, handholding, etc)
>Responsible and caring
>Not active on social media
>Physically fit and inspires me to eat well/work out
>First person to not sexually repulse me (this sounds like a low bar but it's actually very rare)
>Similar music taste to me
>Always on time
>Gets nerdy about stuff like Pokemon which is really cute to me
>Had a FWB before me (which makes me feel weird to think about, but it doesn't bother me a whole lot)
>Sometimes doesn't pick up on my jokes/sarcasm (we've only been dating for a month so this will probably improve over time)
>Weeaboo (jk but not really)
>He has a decently high libido and mine is pretty low
Can't tell if it's a pro or a con
>Calls me cutesy nicknames that are embarrassing but also really sweet??
Euthanasia is the only option.
>Plays league>Always on time>Likes Pokemon>Not active on social media
He sounds perfect nona.
Except these cons could be pretty bad, so be careful.
>Had a FWB>Weeaboo>He has a decently high libido and mine is pretty low
Seconding the FWB as a con. That would be a dealbreaker for me.
Yeah, the fwb thing was like 3 years ago and he hasn't been with anyone since. (iirc I'm his first actual relationship.) It does feel strange because he told me they were doing some kinky shit that I'm not really used to or have ever seen/experienced (I've only ever been with one person before and he was vanilla incarnate).
Anyways, like I said, it was a long time ago, so I'm not going to let it bother me too much… crossing my fingers.
Hey league is fun the upcoming season is gonna be so fun for farming junglers
Tbh people change so quickly in three years assuming you’re both young (early 20s)
People are hornier and have no strings attached sex when they’re younger but gradually get into more loving deeper relationships with others
Just my observations and personal experience
Good luck nona he seems nice
>>106260>Eh? He would fuck this girl with no feelings or emotions for her? With perverted and abnormal kinks?>But it's okay! That was years ago! People change!>He was young! It's just his nature! Boys will be boys!
There are plenty of moids who have not erred in this manner. He had every ability to do the same, and yet did not. Why, then, should he be judged as no less than they?
I don't deny people change. But, even so, the past still defines the present person. The criminal, years in prison, is still to be punished, even if he has changed. He is punished for his crime in the past.
I'll not forgive the most repentant moid. I will revile, condemn, and scorn, and hate even a moid who presently is perfect, if in his past were one abhorrent thing. Though he repents and weeps, seas of his tears will never cleanse him of the stain I see.
Yeah age doesn't matter at all, if a male is capable of using women for sex that shows his character and that's not something that changes
Yeah I agree with >>106272
Moids don't change. Their circumstances does. When they're more committed to their work as they grow older they stop chasing so much women. This usually pops up again in their thirties during their mid life crisis
This just seems mutualistic, probably more parasitical. Clearly your life goals diverge too much to stay functional for long.