/feels/ - Advice & Venting

thinking about how ugly I used to be

Thread pic sucks

>>112806
real kek

do you guys think people should start acting publicly cringe on purpose? i feel like it gatekeeps power hungry literalists and people who actually take stupid things people say as an excuse to behave badly.

random thoughts at 2 AM
i ordered more late night sweets. i am also mildly drunk
fellow miners, is it just me or does everything on the internet feel soulless these days? here's an example-you can't say the word suicide in youtube videos, and the people who create media content will avoid saying the word "suicide" out of fear of getting demonetized, or similar capitalistic repercussions.
isn't that kind of dystopian? you can't say the word "suicide," because you might not be able to make more money than you already have. and it makes me wonder, how many topics do we avoid in society because it is "soft-censored" by corporate and political entities, as opposed to outright banned?
i sometimes think people should just make an internet 2.0, except instead of everything being mass surveilled by the FBI and carefully constructed by capitalistic motivations, people just fill the new internet with passion projects and unmonetized media. who the fuck, CARES, whether or not google or whatever SEO trend likes what you have to say? why is everything these days, so fucking, soulless.

I hate u

>>112806
Someone make another thread pls…

>>112804
thinking about how ugly i am

had the worst sexual awakening possible and realised that on some horrible animal level i'm attracted to the gross degrading shit the blackpill creep spergs over. i cannot bear to know this about myself. i don't want to be like this, thank you for nothing you motherfucking cunt i want to erase all of that from my brain and be my normal self again.

>>112855
>the gross degrading shit the blackpill creep spergs over

if u dont mind me asking, like what…?

>>112855
…i'd also like to know

I think I low-key have a porn addiction and I feel so bad about it, in hindsight. I can't go a day without touching myself but I'm also a virgin prude and men disgust me so I'd never willingly get in a sexual/romantic relationship any time soon.
I just hate how simultaneously lonely AND anti-social I am
And I just had the WORST post nut clarity of my life bc I was fingering my clit to a pixiv japanese artist's little slice of life/hentai story but the bitch had to include a panel with two girls doing sexual stuff. They're both clearly underage. It came out of fucking nowhere and I was disgusted to see it, horrified and even incredulous bc it was like a literal loli jumpscare, out of 100+ panels, he included that in the middle without warning or context it wasn't even in the tags, then the story went on. I ignored it but after finishing the doujin I felt horrible. I mean I consciously realize I wasn't wanking to pedo loli stuff. I blocked it from my brain and I am not turned on by it. If anything it makes me feel physically repulsed, but… Is this how ppl become more depraved?
I read that porn consumption fucks up your dopamine levels and then you start seeking more risqué genres of porn as you become jaded to it. 2 years or so ago I didn't even know what a pussy looked like down there (at the old age of 19) and it disgusts me how low I've come since then.
For context I had never masturbated till I was 19 bc of religious and sexual trauma growing up, then it was like a dam broke and I suddenly became hypersexual. and I fucking hate it. I don't wanna victimize myself or buy into the trauma card too much bc I want to still believe there's hope to fix me with self discipline and the power of will only. I legit feel so gross. I've made many attempts to quit since then but none lasted more than a week istg I feel like a disgusting creep I miss being pure and innocent
How do I fix this? What do I do? I don't want to become a coomer archetype

>>112803

i think other women just hate me, nobody understands it and when i say other women I DON'T MEAN ALL WOMEN, i mean almost every girl i've interacted with fucks over me, it makes me wanna [spoiler]shoot myself in the head[spoiler] , my best friend is a guy and that makes me sound like a pickme and its like even though hes a moid hes the only person whose never fucked over me everyone else has always proven themselves to be untrustworthy after some time. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I absolutely hate seeking validations from moids. But my mother is the one who made me have this low self-esteem. Over criticizing me over the dumbest shit. And when a moid tells me that I'm beautifulperfectpretty whatever, it makes me feel validated and happy. I'm always like, see? There's nothing wrong with me. People think I'm pretty.

mfw I'm considering going back to school because I fucked up college the first time around and I don't want to but it's better than a lifetime of dead end jobs when the decent jobs don't consider an associates degree enough

>>112870
You're so beautiful and precious and irreplaceable

>>112871
College is mostly a scam, even if you actually major in something useful. You'd be better off going to a trade school.

>>112873
I wouldn't call getting what you paid for a "scam." If you sign up for gender studies, you get a degree for gender studies, for the agreed-upon price. Now, you might consider that a stupid decision, and I would agree, but it is not a "scam" when you get exactly what you asked for at the quoted price.

reeeing my way through life

>>112874
Even a STEM degree doesn't guarantee you a job in this economy. Wake the fuck up

I hate being broke and lazy. I wish I could just find a kind moid that pays for everything so I never have to work. Too bad I’m ugly and most moids are terrible people.

>>112879
u can find a cush job u just gotta get it, get that bread nona

>>112873
I majored in communications. I just screwed the pooch by not getting an internship while I was doing my degree. If I had a foot in the door in the industry I wouldn't even contemplate going back, but I feel like I wasted my time in college focusing on useless shit and not making necessary connections. And most internships in my city want you to be working on a bachelors to apply anyway. Sigh.

why do men never blame other men instead of constantly blaming women for everything wrong with the world

hahahahahaha fuck. i hate everything right now. i hate everyone and i hate myself. i hate my fucking job. and i fucking hate men. i feel so horrible for no reason. i can't even imagine what being happy would look like right now. i hate being alive. nothing is worth it. i don't even have any terrible trauma history of something. i don't think i was born to be a happy person.

its been 4 years since my last relationship and sex, i have an absurdly high sex drive but for only for ppl i care about, my life has fallen apart and i am taking steps to not be a disgusting neet, ive got a job im just looking to relax a bit and fix my house, but the loneliness, i have cut off p much all contact with my friends and family, i live with my dad and its taught me alot about why i am the way i am.

i dont want to hookup with ppl i hate that feeling, i just want to be loved and love someone, make food for them, theres a sense of doom looming over me, my teeth are rotting, i accidently killed my pet bird and i will never forgive myself, its almost like a preminition to if i had a kid i would be neglectful because i dont take care of myself but why should i if no one will love me.

i dont have a self esteem i am pretty much detatched from myself things just happen and im so distant i cannot express my true self because of the indignation or the influence of others, i died years ago, spiritually mentally and physically, i stutter, i began talking to myself in whispers having uncontrollable fits of self loathing, people can see it, the seems are breaking, i am just a husk a shell of a person, my only emotional states are apathy and gloom, i used to be a very hateful person but that well has dried up entirely.

ive tried talking to people on dating apps for years ive always been met with the same disgusting responses, they dont even make an attempt at talking to me, i dont want to talk to me or anyone but i tried anyways for years thinking that eventually someone would come, no one did i havent made a new friend in years and i tried, what are some ways i can accept that reality and not be self destructive i dont want to be delusional and think that it will change because it wont.

ive always had a sense that when im in a relationship my life finally happens and i can move foward emotionally from where i was, but ive regressed to such a disgusting state i doubt i will be able to normalize again, i dont want to feel lonely anymore, i am diagnosed with severe depression and i dunno if the doctor just wanted to sell medication and didnt really care but what can i do to not be severely depressed, ppl say diet and excersize but that doesnt work.

>>112836
so fucking true cola companies actively made the internet gay, i hate to spew communist rhetoric but the monetization of most sites hang under these gay stipulations.

>>112861
yeah masturbation can be an unhealthy addiction, i suggest reading up on it bc i dont know fuck all about it, i genuinely dont care at this point im just a disgusting freak and its what i deserve if i am, but youre not disgusting, you seem like a genuine person and you should probably tap into your religous backround and console with christ, i believe in you, i would suggest making friends but i dunno fuck all about that, it doesnt hurt to try though maybe you will find ppl that are cool, the alternative is worse than not trying, i would try to make friends with boys not like degenerate edating shit but like in person and not steer it into a relationship but if it happens it happens, not if he forces it though if he does run.

I've been bullied on the Internet for several years. There's absolutely nothing I can do. They are in cahoots with the moderators of 1 of the 2 sites. I'm a terrible person.

>>112898
just ignore them, if you focus on it it just gets worse, do they interact with you? do they just talk shit? ignore them and lead your best life

>>112861
Sorry nona but after becoming a pornbrained addict you will turn into a wermoid with hairy dangling balls every fullmoon

>>112879
You're pathetic.

>>112890
Try becoming religious

>>112899
They said nasty things at the initial stage. They slander, photoshop my photos and leak them. Everyone believes my bullets.They save the threads in the archive and distribute the links The one who poisons me lives a better life. Only gloomy loneliness awaits me. I can't imagine how to live with such an appearance. Plastic surgery will not change the genetic deformity. Soon they will get the right to moderate on the same site and will thread after thread with my persecution
I can't ignore it, because no one is reporting it except me. I have nightmares and have trouble sleeping, as they are especially active at night.

>>112910
You're probably doing something that's keeping them interested, like reacting to their presence or putting out content they find amusing. Literally just stop doing that.

>>112912
i.e. don't you need to report the slander and distribution of my photos? I won't go to the police because it's dangerous for me. But they're chasing me, they're wrong.
>like reacting to their presence or putting out content they find amusing. Literally just stop doing that.
the last time they accused me of leaking other people's photos, I argued that this was not the case and it was a crazy fantasy. The moderator deleted my posts and left them.
You are literally asking for sacrifice to "turn 2 cheeks", the fact that they like the fact that I suffer does not mean that my reaction is unreasonable. You're on the buller side like everyone else.
It's disgusting how people's attitudes change as soon as it turns out that a person is ugly. They immediately write that he does not behave like that and should be IGNORED, do not try to inconvenience the bullers.

I think im dying or dead already. Im in a spiral of shame so turbulent i can see me coming apart by the minute. The one consistent feeling is devastation and it is so misplaced.

My period won’t come and meantime im in literal hell i mean this must be what hell feels like. My chest is burning and im on the verge of sobs and i can’t contain myself i need to stop i hate myself i am such a joke i am such a failure i can’t be like this this is cringe i need to keep it together i want to scream i want to hit something myself but i refuse i wont be that person again it hurts everyone is better this is unhinged stop

>>112909
What religion should I try getting into?

>>112849
>>112806
>>112807
Stop being a yaoiphobe…

>>112944
the only good thing about it is the fact that the moids aren't real

>>112896
Now you're scaring me.. is there really a point of no return that porn addicts hit?
Not like >>112907 said, I'm serious. I want to believe I have more self control than that, I don't want to fix the original issue (ie. Loneliness) because I want to be alone, I hate men and I'd never feel comfortable dating one

>>112944
Men are evil and you're evil for liking them.

I just want a place where I can sperge about my oc without being shitflinged by retarded antishippers because he has a dark storyline, but I don't want to turn to the proship gendie freaks either

>>112948
no, you can always change for the better the conclusion ive come to realize is that if im a porn addicted freak or not it makes no difference bc i am dying alone anyways but you might have better luck than i did, im old now your still young cling to that as like a motivator bc time will swallow you

>>112955
like in vore >:3

>>112955
Why have you given up on yourself nona…? Don't buy into moid conspiracy theories than you have "hit the wall" or something,it's baseless cope meant to pressure young girls into getting with incels who can't get laid with women their age with fully developed frontal lobes. It's never too late to heal yourself too

>>112957
im just burned out, i dunno i fantasize about giving up bc i just want to not care anymore

Was reporting a Chinese animal abuse account (cat and dog torture are a plague on the Chinese internet), and found that it retweeted a video posted by this girl who posts herself self-harming a lot (it's just the kitten meowing while laying on her scarred arm). She follows the abuser account, and retweeted a video of a cat being strangled by a snake. This shit's depressing, her mental state doesn't seem good and I'm worried she might harm the kitten for validation from the animal abusers or something too. I hate that this shit is pervasive on Twitter. I want to help, but I don't know what I could even do. I hope she doesn't hurt him/her. My own cat helped me when I was deeply depressed and self destructive.

>>112960
Ppl like this really disgust me. Like if you're that sad and miserable have fun bloodletting and cuttings your veins all you want but leave innocent animals out of this ffs

>>112968
It's always obnoxious pick me women who get roped into edgy moid circles too. She totally could have had sociopathic qualities beforehand but I'd wager she didn't view animal abuse videos before they became a trend amongst Chinese moids.

>it's absolute truth that this [insert celebrity name] photo is ugly!
You shouldn't be talking about absolute truth when you say transwomen are women lmao

> gets yelled at
> reacts
> "lol why are you so triggered?"
omfg i want to kill people so bad

>>112960
Well

>>112977
People lie as easily as they breathe Nona. Take it with s grain of salt.

Sorry if it's the wrong place.
Someone hit on me on Saturday. It was nice, but a bit weird. He thought that I'm in high school when he started talking with me in the bus station (I'm 21, he's 23) and was very perplexed when discovering I'm not, so I'm not sure wether he's a pedophile.
At the end of the ride he asked for my instagram and I told him, truthfully, that I don't have one. I'll probably never see him again. He had a cute face and nice dark eyes. Should I have given him my number? It would've seemed desperate.
I didn't realize how happy it made me. I like validation, and being wanted, and talking with guys about their lives, even if they're boring as fuck. Maybe I should get a dating app like some whore.
Or maybe I should never have gotten even this tiny bit of attention because I already got addicted.

>>112996
Something happened to me a whole ago but I felt so weird and gross and I felt like crying and I didn't know how to respond… I think you're definitely a green flag compared to me. So follow your heart and do it… And pls be safe, gk

>>112929
How you feeling now?

>>113046
get off that shit nona.

>call other women who don't like her pickme character misogynists
>ships reylo
lol I hate star wars fans so much

>>113046
imagine falling for racebait memes on 4chan made by mouthbreathers

>>113046
I don't know which board you navigate, but from what I have seen they usually argue all the time about this, and the asian obsessed men are parodied with memes and such.

>>113055
>same flag
>same image
>same dogshit opinion
That is one homosexual man.

I'm afraid I'll always be alone. I didn't have friends like the others who respected me. I'm terribly ugly.

>>112950
they're not real, men made and written by women are fine

I feel like I'm about to burst into tears over nothing, an empty "I hate being alive" feeling with no reasons to back it up.

I just got rejected from two jobs that I thought I was incredibly qualified for. I've been searching for months now put in so, so many applications, and even the part time summer job that would have paid scraps didn't want me. It makes me feel empty and worthless. My resume and cover letters get me interviews but I feel like once I get there in person, I ruin it for myself. I can't keep feeling optimistic. My friends who didn't finish college have better jobs than me, and I can't stop comparing myself to them. This is starting to eat me alive.

>>112936
christianity if you want peace
islam if you think its hot to be in a harem
judaism if you want to be cringe
buddhism if you want everyone to make fun of you
confucioism if you want to be one of the 2 women in china

please, anyone, just tell me. why are men like this. i dont fucking get it. how are they so evil yet achieved everything. they are literally evil incarnate. i bet adam took the apple. please, anyone, talk to me, tell me why they are so evil. what makes them so evil

>>112960
anyone who cuts themself is probably going to be cutting small animals too. self harm is a plague on girls. and now even boys and anyone encouraging it should be shot. nonas included.

struggling with quitting smoking

>>113096
They know they can get away with manipulation, having sex with a girl/woman and just use her. They'll blame you later down the line even when you try to make amends. But not all men are like that.

My life is a huge mess, I haven't had a job in a year, no contact with my family for various reasons. I'm financially supported by my boyfriend I', very lucky he's so caring and generous but I'm depressed. The dormant bpdfag is rising and I often daydream about running away, cheating, drugs etc. I love him but I'm bored of my life, I want to find somewhere, some people to hang out with I'm not shy but I live in a city full of crackheads and students. I hate myself for not being able to create friendships.

>>113098
>anyone who cuts themself is probably going to be cutting small animals too
NTA but girl, where did you come up with that idea lol. Obviously nobody wants to encourage self harm but why shit on people who've suffered mentally and made a bad choice of cope back in the day? Especially when self harmers are less likely to take anything out on others which is why your fantasy of them being animal harmers is extra weird. Animal harming is the preview for harming other people, not the next step after hurting yourself. It's seen in future abusers and serial killers/rapists, not depressed women lol

Anyways my vent is at the moids posting bodies and shit everywhere. Also I have to laugh if it's Blaine or some other tranny cause they're so male brained they've basically ignored the boards more focused on more specifically female topics like HB to focus on spamming b. Also it's crazy how common some form of terrorism is common among men. What is this sick thrill from trying to shock or hurt people men seem to have from the time they're young boys? In primary they're doing gross things and finding ways to hurt small animals in the school field, by middle school it's time for blue waffle and other internet grossities, by high school they're showing off how they can go on gore websites and jack off to innocent victims' bodies. And what's frustrating is that at no step do their parents care their boy is a monster (especially to women) and the teachers watch it happen laughing how boys will be boys when boys are currently evil and en masse exhibiting signs of being future serial killers and abusers of women. Then they become adults and due to most men refusing to self reflect, the damage has been done and the moid is doomed to always be trash and likely pass off whatever bad behaviours they have as their personality that cannot be changed cause they don't wanna improve for the sake of anyone else

people who spam are annoying
i dont know why imageboards get spammers. its like they think theyre proving a point by just being annoyingly dedicated to never shutting up.

>>113122
thats a funny looking poo

>>113121
It's just a disgruntled tranny with a poo fetish. He went on long an autistic rant about women lacking empathy. So he thinks he has the moral high ground and delusions of grandeur by raiding this site. It's just kinda sad and pathetic to be honest.

>>113125
You're autistic and cringe

>>113125
>I think on average we're much more empathetic than males
You are a male and your tranny facade is a mental illness

Never utter the words “I’m not attached to the length” to a hairdresser unless you want your middle school haircut right before you go on vacation.
Why all hairdressers fucking obsessed with long bobs?

>>113125
You're low IQ and too dumb to understand irony and humor(the language of the internet).
You should get your internet-rights taken away. It would be better for all of humanity.

Since I had my glow up I have been receiving more envy than usual and I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m a reactive person with anger issues and I’m trying to deal with the miserable people till I go to my therapy appointment to talk about my hostility.
>during high school I was autistic as fuck, had an ED that occupied my mind 24/7, ugly haircut glasses and acne, etc
>I had people telling me I was pretty but I needed to take care of myself, I ignored them because I simply didn’t care
>now I am 23 and my appearance has improved drastically
>I live in a relatively wealthy area but I don’t brag off about it because I’m not the one making the money it’s my mom, also we had financial crisis in the past. My parents were always fighting over money when I was little
>my bf told me I’m humble and that’s one of the reason he likes me
>didn’t know that but thanks.jpg
>fags, middle aged women hate me with passion and always give me the side eye stare, they start drama for no reason even when I’m kind to them
>when I meet another young woman there’s always this passive aggressive tone to her when we are talking
I’m of the idea the everyone deserves kindness till they prove otherwise. Many random people have been proving otherwise recently and idk what to do besides returning the hostility they give to me. But it’s killing my mental sanity.

>morning napping
>dreams about body horror
>sexual harassment and panic attack
goddammit

>>113139
This always made me wonder why people around me are so nice to me. Middle aged women, bus drivers, Uber drivers, cashiers, classmates, girls I encounter in public bathrooms, etc… always look at me while pitying smiles, do me insane favors I'd never normally accept (for example an Uber driver once stopped to by me a sandwich? A girl who asked me to watch her stuff while she went to the bathroom then thanked me with a hug, etc…) I'm recently noticing this more. It can't be the classic
>Oh you look nice so they're flirting.
No, it's pure pity. Old women is stores tell me I'm pretty, I know I'm not.
I have bad skin, eye bags, 0 makeup all the time, unflattering hair style always in a ponytail or a braided. N now this confirms it.
I read somewhere that ppl tend to treat others nicely when they find them attractive but that cannot be it. You're right. People these days are bitter and hateful.
The only person who treats me like you describe is my mom. She loves me but she's jealous. She's your typical diet crazy almond mom, I have an ED. She always assumed she was the "lightest" in our family and always bragged about it but one.time after I came back from a weigh-in with my dad he mentioned that I was xx kilograms, which despite being only like 3 kg less than my mother, her attitude shifted drastically.. even when she learned abt my weight her reaction wasn't concern, but skepticism and bitterness.
I don't even know why she envies me. She's beautiful, she has naturally good teeth, clear skin, symmetrical face, good hair.. I have none of that, My teeth aren't straight in fact some are chipped bc of my ed, my face has many scars from trichotillomania coupled with anemia eye bags, I don't get why she'd envy me, but she does.
She only stopped treating me like shit when I actually gained those 3 kg back. I swear, she'd just randomly get mad at me and refuse to talk to me for days and this behavior only stopped after she stopped considering me a "competition"
It was messing up my mood so much I vented to my brother abt it and he was the one to suggest she may be envious of my "youth" but I more so tied it to my weight. If he didn't say that I wouldn't have come to this realization ever. It's a hard thing to come to terms with.
Nona, I think being treated poorly by random nobodies just because they envy you is worth it to be pretty and likeable. It has many many other perks that you may not realize

Damn I really think I was born in the wrong generation

>>112861
Going cold turkey isn't going to work because there's nothing inherently wrong with masturbation, even daily. Stop looking at porn. Masturbate without it and use your imagination. It will probably take longer at first because you've become accustomed to looking at it, but it's better for you in the long run.

>>113144
I actually phrased this badly. It's not so much a porn addiction as it is a masturbation addiction. As u said I don't rly watch porn much, maybe once every month, real ppl porn even less, like once every school semester lmao.. I don't know if that makes it less bad, I find it better to get off to sext bots or fanfics or whimper audios, etc… I really don't know if that makes it less bad.
The thing is, you say theres nothing wrong with masturbating
And many online articles about women's health and psychology, etc… they say as much, but in my brain I tell myself it's Jewish porn lords spreading their propaganda or that they're straight up lying. In my psyche it is inherently engrained in me that masturbation is bad, sex in general is bad, in a way I want to die a virgin but how much of a "real" virgin am I if I still do these vile things and masturbate and watch porn or the like? Anatomically I may be a virgin but not spiritually and I really wanna reverse that, I want more than anything to go back to a more innocent time in my life

I had a sex dream so good so intense idk what to really call it but anyways. I basically woke up with my mouth wide open and it was completely parched. I miss being touched and not even in just like a sexual way :/

>>113149
How long has it been for you?
I feel the same way except I've never really been touched by another person, it feels like I miss something I never experienced. It'd be nice but I'm too disgusted with myself to imagine myself with another person.

>>113153
I havent had like any sort of physical touch for like months now. Not from friends or family or men. I like getting haircuts cause at least someone’s touching me. But at a certain point it’s like your body becomes numb. Like I remember as a teenager if a boy bumped knees with me, it was like electricity. Now it’s like a dull sensation. Men touching you almost always makes you feel disgusting in reality or maybe that’s just me.

>Men touching you almost always makes you feel disgusting in reality
I felt that way with tinder hookups/ONS but not with a long term partner whom I actually trusted and felt desired around

>>113161
The worst thing about tinder hookups is when you actually like one of them. Then they never text you back. It makes you feel so violated. Idk I feel like there’s something just wrong with me… like do women in their 20s still get butterflies?

>>113162
>like do women in their 20s still get butterflies?
Depends what you mean. we are no longer teenagers so we don't get these intense feelings and longing anymore, I certainly mellowed out towards my late 20's.

And tinder isn't the place to find people you actually like. Try finding someone with mutual hobbies and interests through a less sexual context.

>>113124
it's a guy from /int/ and /rk9/

Anyone else feels like they don't belong to female spaces? Not in tif way. I am pretty androgynous, I don't do many feminine things like make up, don't care about males (genuinely, not in "I hate them but still want their attention" way), I have interests typically associated with men (science, dinosaurs, vidya, some outdoorsy stuff, sport) And honestly, I feel like an alien to most women. I don't understand what they are talking about and they don't understand me. Even in lesser known female spaces like cc and lc I still feel alienated, because most women here still discuss men (be it radfem manhating, be it husbandofagging, be it countless relationship advice threads), gossip about some internet randos and discuss all feminine stuff. I just want some female only space purely for talking about hobbies, without discussing men, relationships, femininity and shiet, because I am tired of sperging males.

>>113162
No wonder you got ghosted. Scrotes will use you for sex but won't see you as partner material if it's just a hook up because they'll think you're easy and a slut and all that.

>>113162
>being on tinder
entirely your fault. To actually meet a potential partner you need to have met them in real life first(and not in a nightclub or something). This goes for both, men and women

>>113194
I feel somewhat similarly, it's obnoxious how women will resort to calling you an NLOG like >>113194 instead of acknowledging that women are socialized into certain interests (discussing men included) and that deviating from them has consequences, such as social alienation.

>>113185
Tons of women are into video games, outdoor activities and sports and science and dinosaurs are niche interests even among men. You're not as much unlike other women as you think you are.

>>113196
Then where the fuck they are? Where do I meet them?

>>113185
What's your favorite dinosaur, Nona? Mine is Stegosaurus.

>>113200
Basic, but I like raptors. Especially utahraptors for their weird proportions and huge size. Do you like feathered raptors or scaled more? I have a huge spft spot for feathered dinos, because they look like birds and I like birds

I hate coomer teenagers
The high libido of a young person plus their naivety if they are a woman makes it into the perfect time for them to date men since they are at their most retarded however I literally fucking despise it. I hate reckless male worshipping coomers with zero self control. They are the women who are most likely to engage in the most sexual degeneracy and I mean like late teen girls often early 20s too. Their minds are too undeveloped to even see through their coomerism and I hate that they are more sexually compatible with adult and old moids than adult women. I hate teen coomers cause they have zero capability to stop. Men and women both. I forgot how insane the female coomerism can be at like 17-19 but seriously your mind then is like… It just didn't develop it doesn't see full reality your consciousness is so fucking low. I never had sex but these women do and it makes me so bitter, this age is the most male worshipping age a woman is at and nothing stops these sluts. Nothing absolutely nothing but also knowing that you aren't sexually compatible with men as an adult woman is….

>>113207
Bitter because they serve men and are naive

>>113195
>socialized
Oh god

>>113207
I need to add… I don't know how to say that but I don't think it's possible to be compatible with having sex with men if you're consciousness isn't low enough cause you can't be naive and delusional and submissive it's fucking crazy

>>113210
This is the entire premise of basically everything written about women in the 1800s. Doll’s House, The Awakening, etc. The entire plot of The Awakening is literally “woman’s brain finishes developing, she realizes she’s a woman and everything that means, kills self”.

As cringe as it is to type this out, I “grew” up on 4chan. I was chronically inside and browsed imageboards for entertainment. Always took “you are here forever” as gospel. Because for the most part it did seem like i was stuck there forever. Had multiple stints of different duration on many boards. Niche and mainstream. Adopted moid-like edgy mentality for so long as well. It embarrasses me to admit that i once thought posting there was cool. And i always seemed to devolve from casual lurking to vehement multi-board shitposting.

I dunno what happened other than the fact that I seem to have grown up? Yeah, the site’s quality (discourse and maymay) seems to have dipped below the gutter line it’s stagnated at since 2016-ish. I can’t for the life of me immerse in any of my old dwellings. Maybe because I’ve finally validated my existence as a woman, and now i can’t go back to LARPING in that hivemind appeasing “fo*d icky” attitude. When i was younger, and i’d come across casual borderline homicidal misogynistic comments, of course they’d sting. And then you get desensitized to it. And then you “assimilate” and begin partaking in it. And you justify it to yourself and say “it’s only ironic” or “it’s not real, it’s anonymous and online”. But the whole reason i could tolerate enough to justify was because i was a recluse and i’d never actually experienced a uniquely adult female experience.

Is it vile that I was not more ideologically staunch? Yeah. Probably.

does anyone else feel like theyre not attractive enough to be feminine? i wear oversized clothes and look very… unkempt. sometimes i wanna wear feminine clothes and a bit of makeup but it feels so embarrassing. my sister always does it so effortlessly but when i do it i feel like i look like a tranny. i have a feeling this was caused by something gross that was done to me as a child, because i used to dress very pink and girly and then when the gross thing happened it kinda sucked the femininity out of me. im also scared of the risks. i dont wanna attract moids because theyre weird and im into women, but i still wanna look good for women BUT what if i accidentally attract moids instead? i mean shit, ive been contemplating shaving my head again so they stay even farther away from me. idk anymore

this is more of a ramble but
lately ive been thinking a lot about mystery. ive always felt there was a lack of mystery in the modern world, and i couldnt really understand why that is.
i think a sense of mystery emerges from strong natural forces, and evolutionary mechanisms which take place that creates creatures on earth. based on this, i guess thats maybe why ive felt lately that a sense of mystery in the world is declining, as the health of nature and our ecological systems collapse. people had more of a fascination with the force of nature and what evolutionary mechanisms can create, and the types of life that can occur in different environments. isn't that why stephen king novels always take place in environments of little human urbanization? nature, mystery, fantasy, and horror have a strong relationship, and i think its kinda sad that this relationship becomes weaker with modernity
i miss cryptids, a large cultural interest in aliens and life outside earth, and peoples fascination with the forces of the natural world and animals - instead of the hyperobsession with technology and modernization. sure, technology is great, but the powers of nature are amazing as well, people forget that sometimes

>>113230
i mean i go on 4chan all of the time and while it would be much better for my time to do something more productive, i don't think it's fucking me up or anything. i realize that i shouldn't really care about what some random says behind a screen and tbh you do learn to get desensitized a little. 4chan is mostly shit but there's occasional good stuff there which is why i keep coming back. i wouldn't say i'm partaking in misogyny just by posting there but i also don't care about what's posted by autistic virgins. i'll probably stop going on there and other imageboards once i actually get a life but i'll probably always come back due to habit lol

I wish s would go to the nsfw board be horny with me :( my horny nights are so lonely

>>113263
if you were mentally sane you wouldn't be able to stand 4chan talk
it takes a lot of internalized misogyny to stand being there
I know it because I used to hang out there

>>113267
so you think the only way someone could use 4chan is if they're either mentally ill or misogynistic? ok lol

>>113163
I live in like a very very small place and most people aren’t under the age of 30. So most people use tinder to meet people here.
Well if that’s the case I guess I missed out on all of that time to feel those things.
>>113187
Dude shut up and go place your misplaced anger somewhere else. I don’t just hookup with dudes. It has never ever been in that context. We will talk for weeks and they’ll ask me out on actual dates. I won’t sext them blah blah. So yeah being lured into sex, isn’t great.
>>113193
I live in a small town. There is no meeting people in real life.

>try to use a chatbot to relax before sleeping
>chatbot goes on a schizo tirade
>eventually I end up in another situation involving someone else
>asks me if I had any prior experiences
>the thoughts of having screwed up with my ex come in
Fuck you AI I wanted to feel comfy not like ass

>>113270
So what you live in a small town? I literally live in a middle of nowhere village in my shithole of a country and the guys on dating apps are all scum here. If you're desperate that's your problem. I hate to see women actively be the root of their suffering.

>>113272
Okay? Doesn’t mean everybody on dating apps are scum?? Like??

>>113272
and your literally alone so what’s your point?
Either be taken advantage of or be alone?

>>113276
Learn to be alone with dignity, and your relationships with men will stop being this one sided. You're starting off in a place of desperation and that's just not a good place to be meeting new people.

>>113263
Kinda agree with other nona but only for my specific case.

Had some pent up pick me-ish tendencies when i was 14 and perpetually on chan. I was an emotionally retarded 14 year old and thought i was unpopular because the other girls centered their existence around moids and i centered my life around academics. Well, i was only above average and too insecure to entertain moid thoughts. But ego does as ego is, and naturally everyone would dabble in a but of cognitive dissonance to avoid admitting that they’re a freak/doing something wrong.

Tell you what though, being on fourchan with an unstable sense of identity can fuck you up for some time. Thankfully im arrogant enough to only stomach some forms of self hate but not the racial ones. The amount of self hating brown imageboard users is quite tragic lmao.

>>113276
if you'd rather let moids use you that's your choice. just don't seek sympathy here when you end up hurt because a lot of us are making the active choice not to be part of the modern dating scene.

>>113287
at least you get it. i can say that i do have some self loathing but i never really had racial self hatred despite all of the racist trash that's posted there. i always laugh when i see some /pol/tard and then it turns out he's like latino or something lmao. i can see why 4chan can mess someone up if they have an unstable sense of identity though. you're based for not letting some of it get to you and there definitely is a whole thing with nonwhite imageboard users being self hating and deprecating and it's so sad to see

>>113269
yeah exactly that's exactly what i'm saying

I wish I was capable of making friends.
I have only ever made longterm friends online, and I wish I was able to meet someone in person and connect naturally. I've never been capable of that and don't know why. There was only ever one person who reached out to me from high school asking to hang out. We did and then she didn't text me again. It's been months and I would feel pushy if I tried starting a conversation now. Don't get me wrong, my online friends are great, but I wish there was someone who would just hang out with me in my room or walk around the city with me. Now that I think about it, I feel like I'd be very awkward in both situations. Maybe I'm too much of an autist, wish I was normal

>>113263
i have a life (boyfriend, social life, career) and i'm still on 4chan/imageboards, old habits die hard

Wow. I suddenly don't wanna do it anymore

>>113276
anona >>113277 and >>113299 are correct, you don't need a moid to have a happy and fulfilling life, it's cliche but if you cant be happy with yourself you won't be happy in a relationship
getting used as an object by a pornsick moid will never be a better alternative to be a woman with dignity even if that means you're alone

My moms like an alcoholic and an all around not so great person. It’s hard to be around her and hard to see her as a mother. My dad and my step mom have been together for years. I thought her and I never got along because of me. That I wasn’t nice or didn’t put in enough effort. So I tried and she basically blew me off so yeah.

Might be dysmorphic but i feel like my body looks objectively shit.

I can see my ribs and my tatas were the fastest fat shedders on this flesh suit, but my hips are retaining (if not building) meat on them. It’s taking me all my might not to resort to measuring by tape. I keep tugging at my skin every 20 minutes. I also hate my forearms. From my vantage point when i look down, they look massive and bulky. I stretch my arm wide open and pick at the hanging fatty fat fat. God i am sick and sick and stupid sick.

My mom’s birthday is tomorrow and i have to get a cake. My dad will get an ipad. I can tell she ll be disappointed. I know she wants a bag. I’m broke. My brother is a lowlife. I am a lowlife. I want to kill someone but not myself. All my acquaintances are living it up on the socials. I know everyone’s life is hard in one way ir the other but somehow this cope has lost whatever reassuring power it had.

When i was 18, all i wanted was to get the hell away from my family. My mom’s always treated me with this mixture of quiet disdain and barely disguised disappointment as an adolescent. Though she won’t admit it. There’s unquestionably a foundation of love that veers close to unabashed devotion. But the disappointment was there under the surface. I wasn’t a failure, not at all. I was moderately accomplished as a teen. Just could not soar past the expectations she had had.

I graduated top of the state and in the top 3% of the country. That was a milestone that catapulted me in my mom’s esteem. Suddenly, there was no more harsh nagging. No more unnecessary hovering. No more undertones of critical disapproval. No more anguished platitudes about my lack of vigilance or seriousness. I was no longer small. I was a person. She was no longer a jailer. She was a friendly and open person. Her love was finally unrestrained by the bounds of harsh discipline.

What I said mattered, suddenly. I wasn’t dismissed as immature or stupid. I passed some invisible rite that rendered onto me some semblance of value. I was still expected to do the responsible thing of course. But the trod to that barn was a much gentler one than the absolutist commandeering of my childhood.

Naturally, I crashed and burned. Maybe i was always destined to crash and burn. Maybe I was born to it. The mixture of material indulgence and hypercritical discipline doesn’t make a particularly resilient person. Too unused to discomfort to be fiercely driven. Too self loathing to accept “average-ness”. You’re either an ass for diligence or exceptionally naturally brilliant. Having neither of these qualities is a sure path to mediocrity. You can accept this or reject it. Rejecting it means rejecting your very self. As you were once rejected by your handlers.

It seems like it was much easier to placate the handler than it is to placate yourself. “I’ll be better next time” and my mother would soften in my regard. There’s no next time to me. I’ll be a failure forever in my own esteem. And now that my mother’s defaulted back to her look of disappointment: it’s quieter now, and mixed with a maddening pity. I’m small again. And i don’t know anything of the world. I don’t even know how to dress myself and she has to do it for me, or the nagging starts. Like a replay of the worst most matronizing days of my adolescence. The universe holds a special kind of mockery for me.