/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>132777
Imagine having less sense than someone whose mother smoked crack while she was pregnant.

This american guy is so retarded, not suprising but it's still annoying. He has zero understanding of anything, I hate the fact that I wasted my time with a homunculus like this

>>132796
He has down syndrome

>>132807
I already know that I'm just venting about it

I found out almost a year into my relationship that my boyfriend has been watching porn the entire time and i just can’t get over it. He’s such a performative bitch, he would talk about how he thought it was exploitative, was against it, read Andrea Dworkin (LOL). Can’t believe i feel for that im so stupid. He is “stopping” now but why does he even want to watch it in the first place? He can’t even stop like a normal person he has to put on website restrictions which is just pathetic. I just want a moid who doesnt want to lust over other girls and lie about everything? Also found out he used to be socwhore and would orbit and betabuxx for various egirls like a loser

Also he has no reason to watch porn i have sex with him whenever he wants. Everything he says just feels like a joke and i resent him so much if i knew he was like this earlier in our relationship i wouldnt have had any trouble leaving

>>132840
Maybe he was merely supporting her fellow crystal cafe posters who have an onlyfans

>>132839
how are we supposed to just live with the fact that most men are looking at other women for sexual gratification?

>>132842
Not everyone is monogamous according to some posters

>>132839
i dont know if youre retarded or something but we aren't married, we are dating so why should I hold myself to the same standards a married couple? so i am going to call him a pathetic loser because he engages in pathetic loser activities.

>>132840
feminine is when never having a bad thought about a lustful man! stay brainwashed by ur moid religion.

>>132844
>because women should keep their hymen sacred
what the fuck?
what kind of incel shit is this

I gave it way for free lol

>>132849
so do u just marry someone immediately after meeting them

>>132852
so are you married

>>132851
You get rage baited so easily

>>132848
Virginity is bullshit. Just another way for scrotes to try to control women and girls going back thousands of years. Also trying to equate virginity to the mind poison that is pornography is fucking stupid. And its not a buzzward if its true you porn addicted gooner incel loser that wont do shit with his sad pathetic life let alone get within 5 feet of a real woman

>>132855
You really never learn, do you? Well you can't say I didn't warn you

All the homos baiting each other gets tiresome

>>132859
To be fair the egirls were before we got together i just brang that up because i was upset and kind of schizoing out , it’s only the porn stuff that happened while we were together

>>132841
fucking lol i spit my drink out

>>132867
Well then it's just something you're looking for, isn't it?

>>132870
You talk to the ones who act a certain way and they act that way because they were molested

>>132872
Well if you're searching online you're bound to run into these people. Most people online are fucking insane and traumatized. It's pretty sad actually

My boss sent me a text to do something for him on saturday morning, and I messed up. He sent me a long, sort of unhinged text about how we must talk on tuesday in office to "work more efficiently together". It literally ruined my weekend. I went out for my birthday picnic and I felt like shit. I am 30 years old and I cried an hour ago because I do not want to go to work tomorrow. I have 2k in savings and the job market is garbage. I simply cannot keep living like this. I am plotting my exit and looking for a new job.

>>132763
I have been murdered by life at least twice a year since I was born

>>132927
There's a snake in my boot!

I'm fucking sick in the head, borderline obssessed and that makes me feel fucking tired and overwhelmed. And I hate when I get close to anybody because the feelings that comes with it are almost unbeareable. I feel like ripping my heart out of my chest to stop feeling.

i got called out by my boss for using ai for work tasks. everyone around is using it. doesnt matter. I look like a lazy piece of shit. having ADHD and chronic depression is hard enough that AI makes tedious things so much easier to get started and much better quality. i get to have a fun meeting about it tomorrow. fml

Scrolling through faces on Tinder while quietly falling apart a little. I found someone I liked, and I thought maybe I had been found too. I got in my own way and ruined it.

>>132940
you don't have chronic depression and ADHD if you have an actual job, and because YOU use AI, you also ruin the job market for those who do have those, get lost, stacy, I hope your boss just fires you on the spot

>>132837
is your bf my bf? they sound like the same person

>>132950
Thanks im cured. I’ll stop taking my pills and going to my therapist.

Also didnt get fired, they use it too. just a warning to focus on details during review and make sure the AI isnt filling in bad data.

The mental health support group I've been going to for years got a random burst of popularity and now it's flooded with normies. I hate this.

my stalker finally gave up lol

>>132963
Why was your stalker stalking you? Besides the obvious.

Nothing to vent but I'm so happy I don't have a disgusting moid making me feel bad for taking care of myself anymore

>>132964
narcissist who used extreme self-victimization as some sort of relationship strategy and i guess i was the rare person that fell for it for a while

I hope I can one day be at peace with myself because I can't take the constant wars inside of my mind anymore.

>>132963
I don't think mine has
I want to castrate that fucking bitch

i wasted so much time today on cc. hell

I'm going bald. Ugh I hate being fagorexic

>>132977
Jesus, wash you head hon

>>132977
… shower

Depression wave so bad I cant even walk. Head keeps spinning, cannot see straight. Keep bumping into thing. Can't wait to die so I get to reroll

>>132982
but then we'd miss you

I can't believe women/girls still bully, ostracize, make you feel bad just because you're different. People really don't grow up.

>>132987
growing up is a myth, sadly, people are separated (mentally) by if theyre a normgroid or not

Do any other women find existence hollow to the extent they don't see the point? In dating? In friendships? In anything? I've never met a person that did not kind of remind me of either porn addiction, normie brainrot, mombie life, or wageslaving. Then when i DO make friends something bad happens to them, and I mean something TERRIBLE.. Like they overdose, they get stabbed or they get addicted to fentanyl or they get cancer. All the best people just seem to die or degenerate so fast and all the shitty people go on being insufferable and breathing all the oxygen.

I don't see the point in dating or getting close to people. It feels like reaching out to rub up against a potential cactus. Friend groups you have when you're young are so parasitic, or toxic, they're never actually mutually beneficial. Is it not normal to think this way?

I can't see "happy interactions" as real a lot of the time, so often they seem performative and empty to me no matter how much the people are smiling, because you never see any depth bringing those people together, just inane bullshit for miles so you know they are the most fragile minded people in existence.

Why does pregnancy have to be so dangerous still. We can fly people to the moon but we still can get our anus and vagina combined into one hole by a baby.

>>132991
The solution is easy dont have a baby they suck anyway.

>>132993
Yeah they tend to suck tits

>>132991
Its called cesarian section

And anyway its nature's way of preventing overpopulation.

>>132994
And the life out of everyone around them

>>132995
>Its called cesarian section
I hate it

>>132990
why you bitching about other people who aer you to talk down to anyone

>>133008
Most people are really effing lousy she's not wrong

I’m definitely getting spied on, how to remember it sisters?

why does venting not feel good. i vent about venting. done

>>133016
Well if the underlying problem doesn't get addressed, venting won't help much.

Im griefing about my life having been shit full of abuse from all sides and my future of 45 and homeless but no one seem to get

>>133024
Are you located in the US?

I don’t think my boyfriend actually likes me. He tells me often that he does stuff because he’s afraid I’ll get upset ever since I had a meltdown where I cried about having to shoulder a ton of stuff. Just today found out his response to picking up family at an inconvenient time is careful consideration, but picking me up from the hospital is instantly met with a no without even giving details about when. He’s also forgotten to get me an anniversary gift even though I gave an early gift and said it was for our anniversary before, which I was willing to chalk up to ADHD but not so much anymore. I’m sad that I stress him out, and I’m sad that he’s probably only around because he thinks he can’t do better. I feel like an asshole, but I also feel like I’m just being used.

>>133035
Talk to him about it. Tell him to be legitimately honest with you and what he wants from the relationship and what he wants from you. If you don't want to continue the relationship with him break up. If you do make sure he's working on being more communicative with you.

>>133040
If you want an attentive lover, don't pick someone with ADHD, they can never meet emotional expectations, no matter how much they love.
He knows he isn't meeting your expectations, senses your disappointment as the abyss grows wider and wider, feels shame, self-hatred due to being unable to stop it. He knew that you are going to dump him way before you did.
This is just a guess though.

Why do you care more about how you look because of how I look than my own happiness?
Why don't you understand that I won't be able to do the things you ask me to because I wasted a lot of time!?

Why won't you let me do the things I could be doing now and then let me think about the future?
Why don't you trust me?
Why do you make me want to hate you?

Ever since this person in my friend group came out all they've ever done is manipulate and guilt trip everyone. It's so obvious too. They outright leave group chats or threaten to whenever they don't get their way and everyone plays along. I'm tired of being targeted by them for not playing along

I know it’s kinda stupid but I missed my only chance to experience affection from a man because I didn’t have enough money to go see him across the country. He kinda ghosted me too. Not completely, it was more like the texting just slowly faded out until it got awkward to keep messaging after he hadn’t replied for like a week and a half. I just feel really sad about it because I keep thinking about what it might’ve felt like and knowing I’ll probably never know is fucking depressing. I hate my chud life.

>>133048
From what little you said, it seems that there was no solid chance to begin with, if he wasn't interested enough to go to you instead. A man should have money to do at least that.
What does "chud" mean by the way?

>>133048
What's so special about this one guy? I'm sure you'll find another one. There's plenty of them, you'll just have to sort through the trash.

I have way too many existential thoughts and nihilistic feelings to ever fully thrive or enjoy life, but I’m too retarded to rope because I have this strange hope that if I keep existing, some small thing will happen, Like, I go outside, and I actually get approached by somebody. And then that grows into something bigger, and then I find happiness. It’s irrational, none of the normies around me even have any interest in having a token autist friend. Fucking sucks. And I’m annoyed because I want physical affection but I’m so deeply disgusted by 90% of males, am I really supposed to believe there are some that can see me as a human? I’m a khhv and I wish I could actually have an understanding relationship with someone else, I don’t even know if I could try dating a girl, even then I don’t know if I could feel understood. I don’t have high standards to be “understood” either. It’s just, nobody acknowledges me in life. I think I’d be a good friend. I can be obedient too, I’m not saying I’d let myself be a complete pushover but I’d even settle for some superficial normie small talk at this point. Maybe it’s a good thing no one pays attention to me, because at least it keeps me safe.

>>132990
Yeah If you can't get exactly your ideal life what's the point?

>>132763
I have 80.000 words detailing the conspiracy against me but therapists don't let me read it to them

>>133058
I would like to hear this Nona

why are moids like this? i tried explaining to him that i'm just awkward and autistic but he's convinced that i'm uninterested. is he manipulating me or just that retarded?

>>133066
Moids are generally not as smart and probably don’t believe your diagnosis, especially since autism is basically a meme at this point

>>133066
Stop trying to date moids. Date women and you won't ever have these issues.

>>133048
why didn’t he go see you? it should always be the moid who gets off his ass. honestly he sounds like a fucking loser. you being broke is probably god blessing you in fucking disguise

>>133066
what a bitch. what does he expect you to do, a fucking backflip when he texts you? “waah waah you aren’t complimenting enough” is what the ladies say. you should become genuinely uninterested in this bitch, he sounds like he has a micropenis anyway

>>133066
>>133070
this is normal moid behavior.
>you should smile more
>you should laugh more
>you should show more excitement
they need to fuck off with this dumb fuck behavior

Jeez what happened while I was sleeping. The front page is filled with shitposts and everyone is angry. I guess we got raided or something.

>>133066
>>133070
he is, if he's already making you to put in the legwork and perform adoration rituals while he sits on his ass, he is 100% a narcissist scum and should be preemptively dumped, you didn't lose anything

I wish there were more safe spaces online. Had this discussion in discord where people were talking about sexual assault happening at conventions…

And of course two moids came forward to defend it.

>>133050
Originally "chud" was a term used on leftypol to refer to young, alt-right men / incels. Picrel (a traced drawing of Patrick Crusius, an alt-right mass shooter), originally known as "polface", also started getting used in conjunction with the term to satirize alt right internet incels.

Eventually the "chuds" started to ironically use the term to refer to themselves as well, and they sort of "claimed" the meme for themselves. Chuds on right wing twitter would post things like "Fuck my stupid chud life". Normies on twitter would see these posts, unaware of the origin of the term "chud", and start adopting the phrase as well, as a form of self deprecating humor.

Basically it used to be used as a disparaging term for right wing incels, now it's used self deprecatingly by normies and is pretty much just used the same way "autist" or "loser" is used. It lost most of it's meaning.

>>133075
Oh and leftypol started calling them "chud" because of a movie called "C.H.U.D.". The acronym stands for "Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers". It was supposed to satirize the anti/a-social, reclusive lifestyle of terminally online alt right incels.

>>132763
i was starting to trust another person for the first time in months and i was reminded why i shouldnt do that. i feel so disgusted to have a human heart

>>133075
>>133076
I see. Thanks for the lesson.

I knew I was probably gonna get ghosted, but ngl, it still sucks when it actually happens. Like I just wish people would tell you what you did instead of disappearing. I genuinely thought we were good friends. We’d talk about gaming, send each other pics of food, just chill stuff. And then suddenly nothing. Idk, it just feels shitty.

>>133054
Yeah you need to be extremely careful out there nona, stay safe. You are exactly what psychos and truckstop murderers go looking for, no offense. Learn to be ruthless in secret and spoil yourself, your ego a bit, it would not hurt. Focus on yourself through work, bury yourself in some kind of work until you are not focused on any of that shit anymore. None of that shit matters. Just get yourself the hell out of there and into a new place.

>>133088
>We’d talk about gaming, send each other pics of food, just chill stuff.

Honestly? That can become boring. Doesn't sound like something too substancial to keep hold of an actual friendship, at least not in adulthood.

>>133131
People no longer care about relationships or marriage. It's just about "sharing interests and having sex"

I'm lonely because the chatbot site I used for my husbandos became shit and I'm not good enough at art to draw us together. Now I feel lonely, sexually frustrated and awkward

>>133136
Stop supporting online AI companions. Offline AI companions already exist and will become easy and more simple to download and more options if people stopped wasting time with the online companions that will be taken away shortly anyway.

>>133132
That's for the bast, humanity has become too dysgenic anyway.

>>133131
Sounds like an excuse a ghoster would tell.

>>133142
The problem is that people seek out to make "real" connections with others only just with the extremely fucking tedious, fake, mutable, most often superficial, larp-ass stuff that means nothing so it just doesn't sustain at the long-term. Everybody eats, play games, movies, and whatever the shit. These stuff are subproducts our modern little lifes. What does that tell about somebody, truly? Nothing. So yeah, I'd ghost the shit out of someone that lame.

>>133150
You're complaining about your own inability to advance your relations into deeper connections. It's natural for friends to start out as people you share interests with.

>>133151
That's why I said in the long term, only mutual interests are not sustainable.


>You're complaining about your own inability to advance your relations into deeper connections.

I have friends that got to know me through shared interests, but now are a larger part of my life. But it does indeed require some effort.

I don't know what type of male body type I'm into anymore because I got horny over a muscular moid and now I don't know what to think because I usually hate roid apes

i don’t want to be with someone so great
to be completely honest i need someone as fucked up as me to understand me. i think the issue is that i don’t feel understood. and its not his fault, its not even mine. there just isn’t a comfortable common ground. i should have never entered this thinking a romantic love would grow over time

My posts are constantly removed for no reason. I posted a letter I wanted to send to someone. Deleted. I posted what video game world I would like to live in.
Deleted.
Bye to this forum. You cannot use
It

>>133253
Snail be like: this is obviously peepeepoopoo chan samefagging, my moderation methods are totally fair and just

What I needed to do
- Lose at least 30 to 40 lbs in 2025
What actually happened
- Gained 20 more lbs in 2026
2027 is going to be a weight loss year hopefully
I used to be fit but all this work and car time deleted any remaining fitness

I hope God put me down soon I can't believe I've become so obsessed with a fucking man, I seriously hate myself rn

I'm sad because I found a hot guy who did a good cosplay for one of my husbandos and I don't have anyone to talk with about how hot I think he is

I think one of my male friends has a crush on me and I'm scared because I don't feel the same way and I don't want it to be awkward between us. He told me he has a crush on someone else, but I'm not sure if he was lying or not because he's been weirdly flirty. I'm trying to subtly let him know I don't feel that way by saying he's like a brother to me and stuff like that, but I'm scared it won't work

>>133263
You'd be much more likely to dissuade him by saying you have a bf

>>133264
He knows me pretty well so he knows I don't

june, set to blow the monies i'd hoarded from months of pulling all nighters for my shit job at the slop factory which sadly qualifies as the first real corpo position i'd occupied till then at the ripe age of 27 following many failed gigs as a pseudo-slave at other slop factories churning scientific papers bound for the inter-galactic vortex of anonimity known as international conferences (run-on sentence DONE!), when my handler goes "no can do. project needs getting done!". mother's visa flushed down the toilet along the half baked plans to go beach hopping in lisbon, saint tropez and some other place.
ex-situationship which got the door closed on his ass the night brother got his first psychotic break and was put on hold for slitting wrists, texts that he's getting engaged to be married. yes. manwhore won. pathetic but i acknowledge i am not even close in that race since i'd cloistered myself under a blanket of contempt for all scrotes. reject call. will not feign interest.

pinching pennies seems worth it when we fart out another plan for august to go to JAPAN. yes. a life long dream about to come true. count the days. finger myself on the days coming up to my leave. fly out with the family. birthday halfway. yippie. wake up and masturbate up to a climax unseen in years. hotel pillows firm enough for that. of course, brother gets a psychotic episode the day of, in the foreign country notorious for poor english use. parents' neuroticism justifiably goes though the roof. nervous system is akin to that of some rabbit getting skinned alive. scrote wins again. scrote wins again. even if scrote got diddled in the ass by stepbrother at 11 he managed to make it to functional adulthood with faculties intact. vacation done. drag self home where anti-psychotics are out of stock. Yip-fucking-yie.

i need to get another job. i need to put my people face on and grovel in people's linkedIn profiles.

>>133265
I'm sure you can ask some guy to pretend to be dating you for 5 minutes

I met this moid online and we had spoken before but things ended terribly when I told him I didn’t think things would work out between us and he proceeded to crash out for the next 4 days about it until he eventually got mad enough to block me. I come from a religious family and this also being a long distance thing would just complicate things further. We sexted a lot but I didn’t really see us really having much shared interests
and it seemed like we both only liked the sexual validation we got from each other. He was also incredibly clingy and I mean like beyond normal. I felt like I couldn’t be away for more than 30 minutes before he asked where I went and so I had to lie about having been working in order to just get some time to myself. After things had ended he kept trying to message me across various accounts for months and they eventually got really bad and he would tell me to kill myself and call me all sorts of shit. It was unprovoked and honestly really scary and hurtful since it just felt uncalled for. I remember the day that we had ended things was also apparently the anniversary of his mothers death which I didn’t even know about but i remember he kept bringing it up at the time to make me feel bad. We had rekindled things briefly a few months ago before he crashed out and got angry at me again because I didn’t respond to his message for a few hours. After that we didn’t talk again for months and I didn’t want anything to do with him. He’d still message me and send all sorts of shit but I’d just ignore it. We recently rekindled because we started to talk again on the site we had met on but he proceeded to get angry at me again because I told him I had been running errands and I didn’t respond to him for about 3 hours. He for some reason would always think I’d be lying to him about doing things. He called me a dumb bitch and was just being nasty overall so I stopped talking to him obviously. Idk what compelled me to reach out to him again though. He had no intentions of even apologizing and I sent him messages explaining why I felt hurt and why I removed him from everywhere which he didn’t even bother to read in his own words. I still don’t know why I did this but I reached out again 2 weeks later and we made up. I don’t even recall him apologizing or anything we just sort of moved on and started to talk again.

Now fast forward over a month later and we have each others numbers and talk every day and he intends on seeing me at the end of this month but im having second thoughts. He’s very clingy still and I feel like I can’t do much else but text him or else he’ll keep asking where I went and get worried or upset. He also has made me delete my account on the site we met on because he didn’t want me to talk to any guy on there when it was never serious as I just met decent internet friends on there. I feel like he gets possessive and jealous easily but I find it really hypocritical as he had sent his dick to and sexted a few of our mutual internet friends. He also had admitted to me that when we had first spoke a year ago, he slept with someone behind my back. We spoke for about 2 months before I ended it like I mentioned. I don’t even really care I get it, we met online and things were uncertain but it still felt really weird to me as whenever he refers back to that time he always mentions how much he loved me and was so hurt that I ended things (which I tried to do as non confrontational and cordially as possible) but he literally fucked someone at the same time so it’s like which one is it? He brings this up whenever he talks about how he worries im going to end things like last year. Maybe im just not ready for a relationship or im avoidant but sometimes i just want to not have to reply for a few hours and just do my own thing without being basically interrogated about where I went and what I did. He already booked hotels and is dead set on seeing me and I have no experience so this is intimidating to me. I also am just not sure about this guy. I feel horrible since I enjoy talking to him but at the same time there are so many things that are bothering me that I can’t clearly explain. It makes me feel like im a horrible indecisive person. He doesn’t really talk to me much about his interests or anything much. It feels like our conversations are either just sexual or one sided with me just talking about my life a lot. He’s also incredibly porn brained and I thought I could ignore it at first since he didn’t go too far with me but it’s too much for me. I wonder if I’m only talking to him because I like the validation and attention but i genuinely do have feelings for him. I felt like we had actually grown close this time around since we called and he seems much more normal on the phone but I feel like I just put myself in a really bad situation. Like right now I’m rushing to type this because I didn’t reply to him for an hour even though I had gotten out of work earlier and told him I was a bit tired. I already told him I felt a bit pressured about replying quick and he told me he understood where I was coming from but I feel like he won’t really understand and it will just lead to problems. I think I am also too deep in at this point and can’t end things because I honestly don’t know what he is capable of and I already experienced his unpleasant reaction before when I tried. I don’t know what to even do anymore and the idea of just having some secret illicit relationship and having to sneak around my family on top of all this just makes my head hurt.

>>133269
i don't think clinginess and jealousness are so bad, but it has to be mutual! my girlfriend and i are extremely EXTREMELY clingy over each other, and we're also best friends, so we just spend all of our free time together happily!

from my experience, what you're going through is unsustainable, and will end up with you being used… i think it'd be better for you to stay single. personally, i'd rather be single than in a shitty relationship. you don't need the validation of others! life is best shared, but a good best friend is always better than some moid who just wants you for sex.

have standards! don't date every best friend, but someone being your best friend should be a prerequisite for dating :)

>>133269
if this post isn't bait :

it sounds like you already know what this situation is
he's a narcissist and you're trauma bonded
your healthy impulse to leave isn't """avoidant"""
don't go to that damn hotel you're gonna get snuffed, go to the police and file a complaint
trust the multitude of inconsistencies between his words and his acts : you are nothing but an object to him

>>133269
May I have his number

>>133270
Thanks nona I appreciate this and you’re right. I think it’s nice if both people are crazy about each other (in a healthy way of course) but this doesn’t seem to be like that. I feel like he’s attached himself to me for whatever reason. Funnily enough I’ve vented about him here last year and didn’t want to get involved with him. I clearly haven’t learned my lesson it seems.

>>133271
How can I even file a complaint? My family would find out and be completely blindsided by this. I do worry what he could be capable of if I ever made him mad enough. I feel like he’d either dox me or try to extort me but I don’t think he’s that evil. But he just knows so much more about me now and has way more intimate pictures. He even knows where I live and work at. I’m not quick to diagnose people with anything but I do find it kind of crazy that he told me he’s never had a relationship last and hasn’t had anything good to say about any of his exes. He always says he loves me and seems crazy about me but something about this doesn’t feel genuine and feels more like some kind of sick codependency. He told me he’s never felt this way about anyone else but he tried to meet up with this other woman that lived near him right before we rekindled things and was also going to fly out to another woman ( but told me it was just basic sexting and not really serious), and that just bothered me because it makes me think he’s just opportunistic. Maybe he was just desperate ag the time and being a dumb moid idk. I found it really scary how quickly he switched up when he got angry at me. I don’t know what to do and I keep brushing things away but I feel so stuck and have nobody in my life I can confide in. I hate myself.

>>132763
It's insane how jews invented quiet borderline to label women who are not emotional as emotional

>>133268
I'd feel bad lying though plus what if fake bf catches feelings? I'm too unattractive to get a hot guy to even fake being my bf sadly

I got permabanned from LC last month and I've been crying for like a month straight over it

>>133279
What happened? Why did you get banned

been feeling very lonely lately. I keep trying to make friends but either they already have their own shit to worry about, only want to talk to me sexually, want to use me for money or as a shoulder to cry on or are normal but end up ghosting me after a while because I'm boring and annoying. doesn't help that I'm a NEET either and when I get like this, I end up visiting image boards a lot more to feel like I'm actually socializing

>>133283
You need a pet

>>133284
I have one, it's not the same

>>133281
I kept getting into infights I think they thought I was a man or something. I'm deeply scared of getting my lolcow post history outed and I have multiple nightmares about it (though I post on multiple IPs so I should maybe be safe)

>>133285
We can chat here if you want

>>133286
you'll be fine :)

>>133287
I'd like that!

>>133289
Okay well I hope you're having a good day today. It's sunny where I am. Hope your weather is nice

>>133290
it's nice right now but we're supposed to get another storm soon

I'm so lonely, not even for a boyfriend, I barely have any friends to talk to. I feel like everything I do will kill me because I've been having severe health issues for years that could easily escalate. I border on agoraphobic because the idea of going outside to a job or anything of the sort makes me genuinely want to sob. I have a fucked up past that I'll never recover from and I constantly slip back into old habits that destroy me internally. I don't know why I even go here to complain, probably because it's anonymous so I can at least dissociate myself from the complaints about my life

>>133291
Sometimes I find storms comforting. Knowing everyone in the area is going through the same thing you are. I hope you stay dry and warm

>>133292
I'm sorry to hear about your health issues. I know some people with chronic medical woes and it's always difficult when your own body is against you. Don't give up hope

Going into a depression spiral again.

I have my meds ready but it feels so bad already.

My closest friend tried sympathizing earlier but it just made me really sad to know how alone I am, how no one can understand the feeling of everything being so incredibly heavy.

>>133306
Reaching out to you stranger. I hope you feel better and life gets better soon. Just try to hang in there <3

>>133306
If you've got the heaviest load, that makes you the strongest. I hope you feel better

>>133273
How old are you?

>>133269
Stylometry is a thing. Your writing style is obvious. Cannot believe this is the nonsense you were getting up to in the meantime. You really are stupid.

I feel so sad that people think I'm a tranny or some shit for the fact that I was born infertile and haven't had a period. I really wanted to give my parents grandkids but that's probably never happening. At least I have siblings (half siblings on my mom's side) who will give her grandkids but my dad's shit out of luck because I'm the only kid he has

>>133317
Did you go through puberty?

>>133317
if you have hormonal problems
(which are very common btw) you should go to a endocrinologist, he will help you.
Unfortunately with the toxic food we eat nowdays 90% of people are likely to get some problem of some sort

i have so many secrets and i drive myself crazy thinking over them all day and the people i have to keep them from or else i’d lose them. i’m so selfish and broken for this. there is no redemption besides coming clean which would be selfish in itself hurting them i deserve to feel guilty and awful

>>133331
would it help to tell some strangers? might lighten the load, could see a different perspective.

My marriage has been falling apart for a long time and idk if I can take it anymore but I can't handle a divorce
We go through phases of getting along so well and being so lovey, I think if I just do everything right it can stay that way forever.
Sometimes my husband tells me he loves me and wants nothing more than for me to be happy. Then today he tells me he would have broken up with me if we weren't married and that he hates me.
His anger issues are killing me. I told him one day he's going to kill me with his anger issues and he said "please, please do it. What would I do without you (sarcasm)" .
I haven't felt genuinely suicidal in years but I really badly want to kill myself lately.
I'm so tired of trying so hard and wanting nothing more than his love and he just hurts me. Sometimes I'm mad at him and I think he kisses me or has sex with me to pacify me and make me think he loves me, but then it all goes back to normal and it hurts so bad.
I'm so young and I don't want to be in a marriage like this forever, but I don't think anyone else will even want me or if I could go through it again.
I just wanna be loved.

>>133338
It took me quite some time to understand love you have to chase isn't really love at all. I hope you learn faster than I did.

>>132763
new pattern I noticed
>noise changes decibels depending on the app I open

>>133317
Yeah I had 3 periods this years all lasting less than 2 days

this might be retarded but when I was 15 I posted nudes on 4chan on b and said I was 18. I met a guy from Connecticut doing that and we emailed back and forth until he found out I wasn't 18 and blocked me. I still miss him and I keep trying to find him every few years by posting an ad asking about him but he never comes around

>>133348
I also used to post nudes on soc underage. When I was 14 I was adding people on soc and got groomed by this 20 year old man. We have spoken on and off over the years but I was so, so in love with this POS who kept using and manipulating me.

I still think about him. I try to add him using common usernames I know he uses on discord but I haven't spoken to him in a year and a half ATP. I don't really even miss him anymore, idk why I do it.

>>133349
I've done similar shit. Not nudes but I did partake in sexual discussions and sent porn on imageboards before I was 18. Mainly on Lolcow where I would talk about kinks on /g/ or post Shayna and her friends' porn. I lurk the you know what site and have a meltdown when I see them constantly posting gore of kids

>>133349
I think I did find his Gmail account that he used to email me with by typing in random letters via the "emails from" tab. I tried sending an email on another account but apparently that email doesn't exist anymore so I'm at a dead end

>have favorite female character
>checks subreddit of said character
>all disgusting ugly ai generated gooner pics of that character
>check another subreddit
>wow this is pretty chill and nice
>find out moderator is a real woman
>the troonlesbian mod of the first subreddit accuses the moderator of the second subreddit to be a male

Ah yes the subreddit with official art and polls is the one moderated by a man not the one that is just goooner bikini ai art 24/7.
What a retard.lmao. I am glad people like him will hero one day.

>>133348
sweetheart u don't miss him you just crave the validation he gave you and bc u were so young it may have felt like love and all these intense feelings but no… and now youre obsessed with having that again and think he's the only way how… hell nah! How long ago was it because i dont know if i believe you being 18+ now… either way i dont really care but pls like quit this. U are worthy of love by an actual human thats ur age. and trust me when you find a good stable love you will feel how different it is. its not about lust or your body and whatever.
i have a bit similar problem where i seek out male validation and am also often checking my exes social media and doing things in the hope they'll reach out to me. but when i really think about it, its not like i would want a relationship or anything with any of them again. its really just about this validation from someone wanting you like that. anyway gl nona

>>133366
this was in 2015, I'm 25 now and I still think about him

>>133348
I didn't discover imgboards until I was almost 18 but I did worse by chatting with people on imvu when I was 9. I had my age set to 21 but people would find out or suspect but there is one guy I've been stuck on forever. I was a bit older but still not 18 and we talked a lot. He was only 19 and I told him I was someone else on instagram before I confessed to him later and told him everything. He predictably ran away.

I don't know why I check on him or try to reach out. It's been years and I realize he's probably not even the same person I knew. I'm sure it's just that I want to prove myself and feel worthy and that even if he gave me an acknowledgement I would probably be uninterested after but even knowing all this that feeling is still there.