Virgin Thread Anonymous 19173
Post here if you haven't lost your virginity.
>turn 22 in two weeks
>never had sex
>never had a boyfriend
>only kissed a boy once in high school
>too afraid of rejection to actively seek relationships
Glad we have basically 2 femcel and 2 tfw no bf threads here. Based cc.
V-card here, also 21 (although 8 and a half months younger than you). My story is growing up ugly then having shit social skills as a presentable adult.
Rejection isn't that bad by the way, just prime yourself to expect it and look at men as conquests rather than people whose opinions actually matter (until it becomes safe to love him…if ever idk haven't gotten that far). Good luck, pls wish me luck too.
21 yr old virgin here. I've always been a voluntarily incel though. I feel like virginity should be lost to someone you love and care about.
I've gone on dates with a few guys but didn't really click. They wanted to have sex but I refused. I met someone 2 months ago and started dating them 3 weeks ago though. I really care about him and really click. He's my first boyfriend and i want to lose my virginity to him. The problem is that through my upbringing on misogynistic imageboard culture and my religion its insanely hard for me to feel comfortable losing it. I hate feeling so innocent and juvenile, all my girlfriends have had sex already and see me as a baby. But he tried fingering me and it hurt so much because I couldn't relax. Its hard getting aroused and wet with the idea of virginity and purity in my head. I hate this, how do I think like a normal fucking person. I feel like a slut having p in v sex with a guy after 2 months but fuck i want to already.
>>19175>I met someone 2 months ago and started dating them 3 weeks ago though
fuck anyone who says people should fuck by the third date, 3 weeks is nothing at all.
Take your time, it's entirely reasonable to not be entirely comfortable with someone you've been with for so little time, not to mention the whole weight of the v-card overhead.>how do I think like a normal fucking person.
take your time, it's entirely normal.
Is it just me, or did the idea of taking your time before jumping into things like sex has become more taboo?
We went on our first date 2 months ago but officially started dating 3 weeks ago. We've been exclusive and I feel like we've been dating for 2 months already because of how close we've been since the start. He's a really nice guy and always tells me that he'll go as slow as I want. But i feel kinda bad bc i know he wants to have sex with me pretty bad. He never initiates anything without asking first.
I think i have the problem though. He doesnt care whether or not im a virgin, i need to learn how to make it less of a big deal.
>>19174>just prime yourself to expect it and look at men as conquests rather than people whose opinions actually matter (until it becomes safe to love him…if ever idk haven't gotten that far)
It's funny, I can apply this mindset to everything but men. I'm unfazed about getting rejected for a job or for scholarships, but my mind shits the bed as soon as I think about hitting on guys. I'm trying to go out more, but most of the time I find myself talking to other women since it's so much easier. Next time I go out I'm going to make an effort to talk to men. >pls wish me luck too
Good luck to you too, thanks for the advice.>>19175>all my girlfriends have had sex already and see me as a baby.
I feel that. I'd get asked why I was still a virgin by friends who are leagues more charismatic and attractive to me. It even more embarrassing to explain that men rarely hit on me and I have to make a tremendous effort to be noticed.
I'm glad you've found someone and wish you luck too.
I am 25 and I habe never had sex. I grew up in a small rural area where I never made any friends; my quiet self could not integrate with the other kids. Then I worked in an office position for four years which was a terrible idea and never worked out well. But because I was too scared of change, it took four years until I quit and went to uni. It wasn't a calculated move, after four years I simply ran away not even understanding what uni really is back then. I started uni at 22 and well I'm still doing it. Thing is the degree I'm doing is 70% female, I don't really meet guys and if I do they are taken. Uni really made me more confident but now I'm not even meeting other guys.
>>19174>just prime yourself to expect it and look at men as conquests rather than people whose opinions actually matter
This probably ranks pretty high on the list ways to sabotage yourself from forming meaningful relationships with the opposite sex.
Lost mine at nearing 26 and we're still together and stable. You girls can make it too.
tbf the one "yes" I got I still quickly attached to despite him then friendzoning me after one date (my garbage personality). I have too much love to give to become the ice queen of my dreams…
Anyway I think desensitizing yourself to strangers' opinions is a good skill regardless.
seriously, it's not a big deal. you don't need to feel uncomfortable. it's normal. you really don't need to get anxious about having sex. you're just a humanbeing. you're thinking too much about this whole thing. just relax.
>>19173>kissed a boy once in high school
25, turning 26 in 2019. Never kissed, let alone intimate. What does it feel like? Love, not sex. I'm getting to the point where I'm getting scared to open up, and I feel like I will never open up.
>>19175>voluntarily incel>voluntarily involuntarily celibate
Turn 22 in two weeks as well.
Kissless virgin here, too afraid to talk to anyone besides the few friends I have left from high school much less seek a relationship.
I am only 18, but I've never had a boyfriend or been really close with anyone really. I'm super afraid in general to share my feelings with others, or tell them about my problems. I'm afraid of being an emotional burden, I guess.
That being said, I absolutely adore the concept of being in love with someone and having them love you back! I would love to have a cute relationship with someone in theory, although I really like my independence and have become accustomed to being alone, so I really don't know what to do.
Also seeing all of the "men are trash" posts and screencaps makes me worried that a "cute and pure" relationship isn't very possible in modern times. Does anyone else feel this way, or am I being naive?
Wait you're expected to already have a bf at 18?oh fuck, i dont even have any male friends.
>>19417>feeling like cute and pure is impossible
Yeah, I'm older than you but sadly also never had a bf and feel the same.
Like obviously I'm into sex and all that big time, but it seems like men are rarely monogamous or caring towards their partners. The minimum desire for me is to have a boyfriend who actually enjoys spending time with me but apparently men don't like doing that. Jeez.
don’t give up, girls. 90% of men are pure trash but there are a few decent guys out there. I hated all my past relationships, it never worked out although I did everything for my partners. For the past 3 years I’ve been in the most loving, caring and growing relationship with a man ever. He is also my best friend by now, we share every aspect of our life. We do have our ups and downs (we both have depressive episodes) but we both worked hard on being better people, go to therapy, communicate in a honest and respectful way and now we’re happier than ever, getting married this summer. I’ve never felt more loved and appreciated in my life. Don’t let assholes treat you like shit, don’t settle for less. Good men do exist and you’ll know when you meet one. Until then enjoy your own company, you’ll get there!
27 year old here, I want to die.
Do you feel like dying just because your a virgin or because that your lonely and would like to be in a relationship? If you need any advice or vent just say so, im sure anyone here would be glad to try and help you to make you feel better.
I don't worry to much about being a virgin but i would like a romantic partner i just barely have time for my friends so i wonder how i would make up time for my partner. I hope that when i finished my study and get a steady job that i can try to put more time into finding a partner.
Both of those reasons mostly.
>>19424>I hope that when i finished my study and get a steady job that i can try to put more time into finding a partner.
Oh dear, oh no
Finally had sex at 22 with someone I care about and am dating. i was so tense that he could only enter 1/3-1/2 the way in. I sucked him off and he liked it, he gave me some pointers and said he enjoyed it. I'm really glad he liked it.
He went down on me and I really didn't feel anything. Completely meh, hurt like a bitch when he tried to penetrate further. Greaaat, this is what it's like? I liked cuddling and kissing him though and the 20 min massage he gave me to try to help me relax.
Idk what's wrong with me, there was plenty of foreplay too and I think he's plenty cute.
This is completely normal. Don't worry!
First of all, oral isn't everyone's cup of tea, I personally really hate it because I'm way too sensitive and it hurts me.
Penetration is something you'll have to get used to. You're tense because you're nervous and thinking about a million things and even if you don't, your vagina isn't used to being penetrated (even if you use tampons it's a world of a difference) and you'll need some practice. Sometimes I still need to start out super slow and have him do tiny little strokes in and out while he goes progressively deeper until I'm ready. For the first couple of years of my sex life I had vaginismus and even getting fingered hurt like a bitch. Now I know what I like and dislike and I'm way less performative about sex (doing what I like instead of doing what I think would feel/look good for him) and am having a much, much better time. But, sex is sex. It's not a life-changing experience. Some times will be amazing and super hot and other times will just suck and lack the right mood and feel, and sometimes it'll just be a casual thing, all with the same partner. I can say now that it's extremely overrated and extremely exaggerated in most media. Don't believe it has to be like in porn or fanfic. And just take it slow.
so you've only tried the one time? cuz the first time is bad for almost everyone, guys included. most guys i know said they couldn't even finish the first time, and it's undeniably worse for girls. as long as you like the guy and you're both open about things, keep working and it'll get better, i guarantee.
Yes it's my first time. I don't think I was wet, but we used a lot of lube. I think I have issues becoming aroused r/t internalized guilt about sex and honestly questioning whether I'm asexual or not to some degree. I can register him as attractive but he really doesn't "turn me on" so to speak. No guy or girl has ever really got me going in real life. But porn (3d/2d/fanfiction) does it for me so it's odd.
This is also me btw >>19175>>19458
He's very sweet so he worked up to it with a lot of foreplay and paused to give me a massage when he noticed I was too tense. He went very slow and we spent most of the time with his penis just sitting inside me while we cuddled.
I'm very confident about myself and my appearance so I was kind of hoping that I would enjoy myself the first time.
It's good that he was sweet about it and you feel good about yourself, but nothing changes the fact that it's a brand new experience you'll have to get used to. Really don't sweat it. Try and try again until you find out more about what you like. And if you end up getting bored with trying, that's fine too, not everyone has to bang it up constantly to be happy. Also contrary to popular belief there's a lot of low-libido men out there too and you'll find your match.
thank you for getting me to think about it another way
Don't worry about it, but remember arousal is as much mental as it is physical - as you keep having sex you may relax and enjoy it more. The first time is scary and there were probably a million things on your mind. With time you can also try different positions, see what works for you and your partner (either one being on top, fast / slow, etc) and start exploring your kinks. The best sex I've consistently had was with my ex and it was about a lot more than p in v (we played a lot with toys, bondage and other gear, and both were happy to switch).
This is due to pornography and masturbation. You've essentially trained yourself to not like sex or real men, and overstimulated to the extent that it's hard to feel anything.
Clocks don't work like that.
Not true, i rarely look at porn. the first time i watched any visual porn intentionally and masturbated was when I was 18. I had only read steamy yaoi fanfiction, which is akin to romantic novels, before then. I still rarely watch porn.
I just never think about sex and even though ive only done it once i dont find it an important part of my life or something to chase after
Hold onto that hope. Keep going. It’s doable. But you will suffer and toil to create/find what is worthwhile. Become the most upstanding and confident person you can be. It is what I am doing. Keep going. Stay hopeful.
Sounds like he's just inexperienced. Eating pussy, or turning women on in general, isn't intuitive to most guys.
>>19175>Religious>Not waiting for marriage to have sex
Is it such a surprise you feel like a slut?
Considering it took me years to figure out how to orgasm, I'll always have sympathy for guys who struggle to get their partner to orgasm/turned on.
I was like you, but I had never kissed a boy (only a girl in elementary school). I ended up getting in a relationship with someone in my junior year of college. I put myself out there, confessed my feelings, a d it just went quickly from there. I never really saw virginity as a big thing, didn't feel that much different other than "huh, feels like I thought it would."
Open yourself up to rejection and eventually you'll find acceptance.
I mean you said you're religious. At least try to hold yourself to the standards you claim to profess.
That's someone else you're responding to numbnuts.
I should have wrote my religious upbringing. I think that it has made me a better person overall and i appreciate the moral lessons, but i am not a staunch believer. I don't believe in one night stands, but i believe in sex between two people in an exclusive relationship who care about each other a lot with or without the context of marriage.
18 and not planning to lose it anytime soon.
Screen Shot 2019-0…
>21 years old
>feel my body decaying with every passing month
>hormones causing romantic fantasies about complete strangers
>aware that i'm too socially inept to attain a relationship let alone talk to a man
>too socially inept to acquire female friends
>too ugly for men to approach me
>play dating sims to dull the pain
why did it have to be like this
>Never been in a relationship
>Never held hands in any romantic way
>Probably going to be a virgin forever
>Too awkward to approach anyone
>Too unnatractive to be approached by anyone
>Too conservative to have sex with random people
>talk to people well
>have a part time job for six years
>walk 2 hrs a day, lift weights
>write constantly, people like my stuff
>play WoW as guild's only priest, get along great with everyone
>never break the familiarity bubble irl because people are dangerous and disgusting and I hate not knowing what they are thinking or doing.
>virgin, can count friends in life on one hand
>attempts at romance haunt me to this day
My only friend is my dad. I think I've gotten to the point where it's more like part of the scenery than something I obsess over. Wasn't that easy in my 20's or as a teen.
Have no one ever approached you or you always rejected possible partners ?
I'm 24. The most action I've had was going on a date and holding hands.
I am so glad I am not the only 30 year old female who is still a virgin here. you sound pretty much like me except for the whole writing and wow thing. I do like video games but yeah I only play jrpgs or single player games. But girl you're not alone sis! I also work out but mostly cardio and measure my calorie intake and as for friends I also dont have many and the ones I had either left the country to broaden their studies or are married with children now. The only friends I have are my sister and father but she moved to another city ;_; But as time passed I am starting not to care about being intimate with another person, I am pretty content with my life atm lol the only thing I would like is if I had more money in my bank account :P hahah but other than that I think I am good >>20110
the true queen of our people!
24, never held hands before even. I'm fat as fuck so that's probably why. Part of me wants to do something about it, but another part of me knows that even if I lose the weight I'll still be ugly from loose skin and scarring and shit. I wish I had someone who loved me but it just kinda feels inevitable that I'm going to die alone and a virgin. At least if I stay fat I'll get over with the dying thing sooner. Kinda weird because this didn't start bothering me until about 2 years ago.
you wont have loose skin if you work out while you lose the weight, do toning exercises and dont try to lose weight quickly so your body has time to adjust to the weight but yeah toning is the way to go. Also tbh there is guys that really dont care about those things dont listen to the incels or robots they are retards. Cutting back on the bread and soda will do wonders to your weight and your skin. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin tho, if you want to change do it for you not to attract some dumb guy.
If you work out and don't try to lose too much too fast, you probably won't have to worry about loose skin.
21, have had 2 (hs) bfs and still a virgin
i'm not in a rush, i'm waiting to find someone who actually wants a serious relationship w me
I'm exceedingly overweight and have been my whole life. I don't think there's any avoiding it.
There is avoiding it anon. You just have to work it off.
get your stomach stapled and then have surgery to remove the loose skin
Stay strong fellow 30 old virgin friends. You are not alone.
I am nearly 30 too and a virgin. I never found someone who i am attracted to and for the sole purpose of not being alone or losing my virginity i don't want a relationship.
Then i rather be alone for the rest of my life.
please dont post entries from my diary, thank you
at least you had a bf before
>every single one of my relationships ended because I refused to put out until marriage
and they were impatient
I know it'll be worth it though.
Friend of mine said she lost her virginity to her fiance before marriage and regrets not waiting, even though she has no religious reasons for it
Keep on searching, and your abstinence won't fail you yet. Good luck, anon.
Why? Did he leave hereven though they were engaged or something? Or is he now putting off the marriage too long now that they've slept together?
Already gone far, no sense quitting yet, just frustrating at times, but then I remind myself people that have sex break up all the time too>>20494
She said it was a matter of something she wanted to do for a long time and felt that she wasted the opportunity by not just waiting a few months longer, wedding night felt a bit cheapened from it, even though the first time is never perfect or that enjoyable.
Still happily married with the guy, but says thats one moment she would change
would you lose your virginity to a guy that had sex before? I'm not sure if I would if given the chance.
Vuvuzela guys are too loud in bed
Reeee! Hispachan raiders!
>ousting yourself with such an unthoughtful shitpost
>tfw first time was being raped by a guy you were kind of just fooling around with and don't get to claim actually being a virgin even though you feel like one, especially because you dated him after it but still feel as if the whole relationship and subsequent sex was not real because it was all a way to compensate for being raped
maybe you guys feel like losers or whatever, but you guys are lucky. at least you guys get to choose and the volcel virgin guys you relate to dont treat you like a slut for having subsequently dated and slept with your rapist. the guys i'm actually into are always volcel virgins that want similar girls
>be me>23>Had multiple bfs>Terrified of the idea of sex and penetration from basically day one of finding out what sex is>Still a virgin to this day>>20600
I was with a guy for 3 years and part of me refused to let him take my virginity because of this. The issue was deeper than just 'I can't let a non virgin take my virginity' (not too much of a stretch to imagine what the reason is as there is a thread discussing the topic on here) but spending too much time on R9K and generally having a massive complex regarding my virginity were contributing factors to why nothing sexual ever happened between us. Part of me feels bad for this now because I realise what fucked up thinking it is now.
My face is so ugly, I hate myself. Ugly, ugly, ugly. Huge manjaw, awful hair, glasses, I hate myself.
I think I am just going to go on Tinder and lose my virginity to a random man. I would like to experience sex, holding hands, falling asleep together, at lest once in my life.
I wish I could at least be in relationship with an ugly man, grow old with him, cook for him, work my butt off to buy him nice things, but I can't find anyone ugly enough who would be willing to accept me.
Don't be so hard on yourself, a big part of appearance is finding a look that suits you
Maybe a different hairstyle and glasses (and clothes?) could help your self-image
Thank you for your sweet reply, but I have tried both of those things. I know how to apply makeup, and I often receive compliments about my clothes. My face is just too ugly unfortunately.
Anon, if you were ugly as you said you were, nobody would look at you, let alone compliment you. Don't let what you see in yourself define what you see others see in you. They could just be shy of complimenting your looks, to begin with.
I'll be 30 in 2 weeks
What do I win?
21, virgin. I'm so fucking over the ''saving yourself'' thing. I used to think like that. Let's be real, most of us don't look like models. That means you'll be saving yourself for a below average/average guy.
The average guy doesn't care if the woman finishes. He's not very good in bed. His dick is weird looking. He's out of shape. He still watches porn and obsesses over IG models no matter how often you fuck him. He's fucked other women before. He'll glare at other women all the time. He'd dump you for a VS model. But most of all, he won't give enough appreciation for saving yourself for YEARS. He'll put his weird looking dick in you, it will probably be disappointing and not special at all.
The only way saving yourself is worth it is if you find a really rich guy. AKA MONEY is worth it. Are you really going to waste your most beautiful years waiting for some balding, average dude who doesn't flush the toilet and forgets your anniversary???
It reads to me like you're the one lying to yourself about "saving yourself", being so obsessed with looks, penises, and money. Not everyone is so carelessly shallow. Some people just want someone to wake up to.
I'm a virgin too, but "saving yourself" is a complete meme. My best friend has slept will many people, a 20+ partner count and she has no problems finding high-quality men to have long term relationships. I feel like a lot of the time "saving yourself" is an excuse to not try to put yourself out there.
If you want to save yourself, do it for yourself, don't do it for men because most high-quality men will not care.
Thank you for being so sweet again! That's so kind of you. I don't want to undermine your efforts, but personally, I compliment ugly women often. I also witness many ugly (deformed tier) women receiving compliments from other girls.
I have tried to ask out guys, I have tried online dating, but heh. It hasn't worked so far.
This was the blackpill I didn't want to hear but needed. Thank you. The future seems depressing, but then again, the alternative– having sex with an average/below-average man just to avoid this outcome– seems even worse. Is the only answer to take the rare worth-it guy for casual encounters and deny oneself a chance at long-lasting happiness by rejecting the average man? Is there a middle ground here at all?
The problem is the idea of falling in love and remaining loyal to only one person is the ideal situation (for some us of us itt), but I know that in this day and age, most people don't settle with the first person with whom they have romantic and/or sexual relations. Therefore, it isn't practical to hold onto this fantasy. It can make the current world of romance detestable, but it isn't something one can just continue to reject if they want to be happy. My older sisters, like me, waited… and waited. And now they're old maids who have given up on love. That's not to say they can't be happy, but that isn't the life I want for myself, and it's the path for which I'm headed currently.
Online dating never works, honestly. Just keep trying, okay? Someone will love your smile. Just be sure to like theirs. Good luck anon.
I agreed with you until you started talking about money. Are you sure you're not a LARPer? There's no difference between a rich guy and middle class guy. Both have fucked other women before you and would dump you on the spot for a VS model. Also, rich guys are the ones who obsess over and pay IG models to go on vacations with him and they're less likely to date girls who don't look like models so idk why you even mention rich guys.
nta, but how to find a sweet virgin boy who will value the relationship, care about me as a person, and want to go long term? I don't care about money, and only a little bit about looks (many men fit what I'm looking for and it requires no work, we'll say that).
Is it possible? I just want a life partner to cuddle, spend time with, and fuck daily, but from what I can see no men want that. They're all looking to trade up and can't get attached to anyone in any way.
Fuck, thinking of this makes me want to kys myself.
Don't tell me the anon you replied to was a male anon. I actually liked their reply, fuck.
What'd it say? I want to like it too.
From spending time on a certain more popular imageboard, a number of men seemto feel the same way. I think it's a case of introverts not really doing the bar scene long term if at all, so they get this twisted view from hookups or gold diggers and then kind of retreat back to solitude.
>Can't even keep your pronouns straight.
Come the fuck on, don't try to play that shit.
I'm also curious. I guess we'll never know.
This site needs an exhibit where everything except gore or obvious spam gets moved for display. It's something not a lot of sites don't have but need.
You're the obvious larper if you can't see the truth of that post.
>find a confession instagram page for my university
>80% are about one night stands and sleeping around
I shouldn't be shocked but now I'm just disgusted by everyone. Not because I'm consciously against promiscuity…but God, it doesn't seem fair that I just want a sweet boyfriend to love and treasure for the rest of my life and these people are just taking others for granted. How could they not value their sexual partners romantically? How can they be so unattached?
It's just weird to have it confirmed that these people exist near me, I guess. And that it's basically insured that no men here are virgins if everyone is so promiscuous (male and female). I hate this. I want to die. I want to cry. I want to punch someone. I want to be hugged.
>>21094>how could they not value their sexual partners romantically>how can they be so unattached
Because that's all they know. Just society in general.>it's basically insured that no men here are virgins
No. It isn't. It's just basically ensured that the majority of boys (and girls) you meet are going to be normalfags. Going through the social grind should provide you with someone to talk to about this, eventually. You can even associate with "them" so long as you avoid their invitations to dance the dance of the heathen gods. There's sometimes a slight chance you can meet someone "just like you" through them. Odds are they can be a boy as well. Don't give up hope, anon.
>>21094>basically insured that no men here are virgins
false there are always male virgins, even guys you wouldn't expect
>>21097>avoid their invitations to dance the dance of the heathen gods.>Don't give up hope
NTA but thanks for this. I have always hated these invitations even if I appreciate my normie acquaintances. This post gives me hope.
Thanks anons, I'm sure you're right and I'm just being irrational. I know that ~30% of young people haven't had sex in the past year at least. And I'm sure a lot of those are virgins, which is a good chunk of people/men. I'm also into male-frumpy nerd types so perhaps the chances increase with that.
It just made me very emotional so I wanted to believe and extreme and be angry and hate everyone.
Pic related tier tbh. Should kms for that instead.>>21100>has been invited to do normie things
You're welcome, anon. Just keep up the small talk and you can get somewhere eventually. Ask them if they know anyone "like you". This is the best part about making acquaintances with them, as their social hawk perception allows them to know plenty of people, even ones that they don't consider interesting. >>21103
You just have to get closer, talk more. They're extroverted enough to invite anyone to their get-togethers, provided you talk enough to them. They can't be snobs. By the way, please don't kill yourself, anon. Keep going.
I'm 30 and a virgin. But losing my virginity has never been a top priority. Figuring out what direction I want my life to go in is the top priority. Sex is somewhere low on the list. I want to be stable and self reliant. I'm not saying I'd reject a man but …its hard to really explain it.
But I've never been attracted to a man so much that I wish he'd want to date me, and I don't have a strong drive to reproduce. The thought that such things is supposed to be an obligation honestly saddens me.
There just was a news story that 1/8 of 26 year olds haven't had sex. I'm telling you, having sex is so last century.
no men allowed retard
we don't care go back to r9k
What would the female version of wizard be? Witches?
Asexuals are taking over the kids minds with their shitty Hamilton music and steven universe fanfics
Yeah that's bullshit, with the new hook up culture that means the ones who aren't having sex are the ones who are the desperate fucks where a woman needs a lay but she has no good choices around. Now they got all the choices possible at the tips of their finger, so they don't need to dip into the 1/8th of the pop that would be getting laid by no other means but because they had nothing else better available to them.
The. Article. Is. Bullshit.
They are trying to say "The sharp rise in the number of young people waiting longer to have sex may be because of a "fear of intimacy" and the pressure of social media, according to analysts." which is bullshit. The reason those people normally got laid in previous generations is because before high tech hook up culture, the only way to get laid is whoever was physically available around the person who wanted to hook up. And it's not a mystery that most women are the one who chooses who they fuck seeing as men would fuck anything and without the availability of being able to choose someone from half way across the city like you can in apps like Tinder and such they had to make due with what they had around them. Now with modern hook up culture, the choosers can be even choosier because their pool of who they want to have one night stands with has increased significantly which means the ugly/charming men who might have gotten that lonely pity fuck aren't getting laid now which are the that 1/8th.
It's not a fear of intimacy, it's just a failure to be physically pleasing to people to want to screw.
18 year old virgin here.
Never had a bf, never been kissed :(, never even been hugged by a guy. But I also kind of feel like this is a good thing bc when i get my first bf i'll get to experience all these things with him for the first time and it'll be extra special.
Although I've been tempted to just give up and maybe get fucked by some stranger on tinder or something soon because i dont know if i'll ever get one lol :<
To everyone here who is a virgin feeling sad about your situation, it could be worse.
I was 21 and 3 months, never had a real relationship (I had an online one for about 3 months and it ended pretty badly for me), much like all of you, I never had those cute experiences that come with being in a relationship that I want so desperately. I always fantasized about losing my virginity to someone who really valued it, someone who really wanted it. I stupidly gave it to someone who didn't care, I made one mistake and I hate myself so much for it, I just spent so long waiting for the right person and I think I gave up, I stopped believing that person existed, and so I stopped being the ideal partner for that person. All I have to say is don't. Just don't unless you love them.
You all seem just like I was, I felt ugly, not worthy, and simultaneously I didn't want to lose it to a stranger, I never thought I would. I don't know how it happened to me, it was lots of things. Built up stress, loneliness, fear that I'd never find anyone, maybe these things, maybe more. All I know is that it happened, and if it happened to me, it could happen to you, and I really want to tell you it's not worth it. It's not ever worth it, not unless you love them and they love you. I'm just trying to validate your suspicions that you're making the right choice. You are. 1000 times you're making the right choice by waiting. I was an idiot and I wish I had someone who made this mistake tell me what I'm telling you.
Don't. It isn't worth it. The post a bit above me explains it better than I could.
It's not that 100% of people regularly try to hook up with each other by tinder. Some people are too shy for that, some find it pathetic, some don't care that much about sex yes, men too
>as men would fuck anything
That's obviously bullshit
In the same boat anon. I know people at my school are constantly hooking up and sleeping around, yet I have yet to have sex. I've even heard people having sex while sitting by my window.
Nearly all of my friends are not virgins and I'm the only one left. And now I feel like the only virgin at my school. It's hard to relate with someone when they're talking about a ~wild hookup story~ or when everyone starts telling the stories of how they lost their virginity. I just sit in silence and nod along.
I've thought about making a tinder just to put myself out there and experience more but it just seems so valueless and I'm too shy to take initiative.
Don't give in to peer pressure. Burning themselves out now instead of focusing on their futures is going to be something leaving them feeling empty later on. Besides your first is way better when it's with someone you're sticking to, especially if you're their first. You don't have to stay shy out of talking to people, but that doesn't mean you have to give in to the dance of death.
>>22327>as men would fuck anything>That's obviously bullshit
Not that miner, but it seems to be true for all but the most outrageously hideous women. Let's be real here… it's easy to lose your virginity, it's hard to find a bf that is WORTH losing it for. Does anyone here actually want to have sex just to have sex? That's dumb. You want a relationship
It would be nice to be someones first, but at this point that sounds very unlikely. Also I think people are focusing on their futures and still having sex.
Saving yourself doesn't mean you have to avoid talking to other people. Staying out of everyone's life and embracing isolation is a problem in itself. Get out there, but don't throw yourself out there. Avoid getting too close, but don't stay away. It's not impossible. You just need balance, and your life will be at ease.
>>22327>That's obviously bullshit
I used to think so too, until imageboards opened a window into the world of men.
it makes sense, when you consider the males of other species. I grew up on a farm, an upland sheep farm to be exact, and I knew that our old ram would - hilariously - mount anything that looked the backside of a ewe. He'd vainly try to screw doorposts, chickenwire, gates, even one time the exhaust pipe of my dad's Land Rover.
That's human men too. Once you understand this, you realise how superior women really are to them. I think a lot of latent hatred towards us because we seem to be able to control our requirement for sex a lot better. Sure, I get really horny and want to have sex, but it doesn't make me go out and engage in weird fetishes or watch online filth. They're jealous of us because of that.
>>22531>imageboards opened a window into the world of men
Please don't get your idea of how the world works from the internet. Go outside. Talk to people. Stop being a recluse. It's not healthy.
>>22535>Please don't get your idea of how the world works from the internet.
"Please don't use anonymous places where people reveal their true faces, rather than the fake face they use in real life! It may reveal to you that while men can smile and shake your hand, all the time they're thinking of doing some gross obscenity to you!"
Before the internet, I never thought a man could go up to a woman in a store and just ejaculate all over her, all while filming it for his confederates online. Thank God I'm aware of such things now, so I can protect myself better. All women should be aware of these sort of things, and you can only learn it when men think they're alone with each other, in their little online holes where they think women can't hear their sordid little tales.
How about no? It's a good insight into the male psyche, and I'll keep doing it thank you very much.
I don't know. There's a lot of anonymous peer pressure to do your absolute worst on the internet. It's a novelty seeking space. It's not advisable for men to go around thinking about women and their rape fantasies so why would the opposite be true?
I'm sorry but I don't see an equivalence between the two.
Women online sharing secrets - personal traumas or catty behaviour at school
Men sharing secrets - "I raped a woman", "I beat up a woman"
Women sharing fantasies - "I feel bad about it, and I don't want to act on them, but…"
Men sharing fantasies - "I want to blow Stacey's head off and the only thing stopping me is not having a gun!"
Anyway, major tangent to OP's thread. Suffice to say, men are on the whole scum, and if you can get a hold of one who isn't an over sexed moron who's sense of self worth relies on you or who sees you merely as an accessory, bolt him down ASAP so you can make clones of him.
Stop taking anonymous imageboards full of shitposting so seriously. Go outside, and talk to someone. Staying huddled in your own "pool" of truths isn't going to make your life easier. It's only making things worse.
I relate to this so hard and this is also why male incels frustrate me, when they think any guy would want to be with any girl without considering the high beauty standards women have to deal get noticed in the first place by the guys their interested in. Idk i've been annoyed today cause I thought a guy today was hitting on me until he asked for a dollar.
- sad 19 year old virgin
Im not saving myself for an average dude, I'm saving myself for myself. I'm holding unto my v-card until I feel I REALLY want to engage in the act with whoever I'm with. I can't say I've ever been that comfortable with a guy. They tend to compare me to other women, to my face, intentional or not, and it just puts me off and makes me feel like an object. Sex is only enjoyable if it's a mutual act, and when the guy clearly feels like he's lowering his standards to be with me, then I feel like I'm lowering mine. Every guy who asked me out, I've was never attracted to, but I wanted to give them a chance and grow to like them as people. Then they go and say or do something that implies they doesn't really want to be with me either, that the girl he asked out hours before me said no, and I was his second (or however many) choice, and that shit just makes me angry. I'd feel used, but I never put out to begin with for that very reason. I've had people come up to me and tell me I'm significantly more attractive than the people I've dated, and yet my dates still have the audacity to state they wish I looked "sexy" like a specific model. I'm not a model, I'm an average woman, and I have a BMI of 19.5 for fucks sake, so I take goddamn good care of myself compared to the average American woman, and look at you, you have fucking man tits. Fuck you!
Sounds like you're holding out for the perfect Chad Thundercock to come along and sweep you off your feet. Guess what, if it hasn't happened yet it's probably because you're not as good looking as you think.
nta but that doesn't sound like what she's saying at all. Projecting are we, anon? How many Chads have burnt your ass?
She just wants someone who won't put down her looks and go full hypergamy and dump her as soon as a hotter girl looks their way. Doesn't want to be a practice gf. Damn, do you not want the same?
Personally agree with her, I'd never compare a potential male partner to anyone and enjoy a wide variety of aesthetic attributes as equal (I could list them if you want but be assured none are chad-tier). And if I'm going out of my way to hit on a guy (which I have, 4 times) I WOULD be attracted to him. So I expect that decency from a partner.
But to be fair her point where she puts down chubby men is mean spirited, she could have left it at "not initially attracted to them."
And inb4>expecting men to care about you and have empathy is too high a standard
This would just prove the whole point.
You're correct about your analysis, I'm >>22637
I actually like cubby guys and have a feeder fetish, but men who have high expectations better put in effort. It annoys me to no end a guy can be chubby, but still expect an extremely fit partner and then not be satisfied even then. If you want an Instagram model, you should try to be on a similar level as well, because the terrible personality is not making up for it.
>tfw went into really cool lingerie/sex shop with friend yesterday so she could buy a buttplug
>oddly enough fall in love with the place and adore how helpful and nice the employees were
>"now hiring" sign in window
>want job there because lol
>tfw know nothing about sex and especially not sex toys
>all the employees were experts on everything
>realize i would be rejected on the spot if I tried applying
how do I stop being a sperg and just go out and have sex for once already?
i thought the end-goal was just having the job and not sex itself
It's just an excuse to have sex.
As long as you're charismatic I think it doesn't matter. I'm vegan and when I used to serve I'd bullshit all of my recommendations to people.
it’s both, i’m too damn old to be a kissless, handholdless virgin and it’s about time i get over my insecurities and find myself a qt gf already>>22684
the employees (esp. the manger) were super charismatic. my friend is really obese and was struggling to find lingerie that fit her, and he did a great job of making her feel comfortable about being too big without being inappropriate. she otherwise would’ve probably cried. i loved that guy.
I don't understand how people do that to themselves, disgusting.
If your friends make you feel embarrassed for being a virgin then maybe it's time to get new friends. I don't mean this in a "drop anyone who disagrees with you" way, but rather do not be around bad influences way, and this includes sluts who think sleeping around is something to be proud of. After too much sex people lose the ability to pair bond and that leads to disastrous long term relationships, so if anything these "friends" of yours should be embarrassed themselves, you are better than them.
That's the point of these places. If the employees acted like cunts, it would fail as a store. They already have to compete with online shopping with discrete shipping, their customer service is the only thing that will make the place good. It's already a big scare for most for being in a sex shop as it is.
yeah you're right, and that just makes me like it even more.
i'm probably going to try dropping off my resume late tonight to see if there's any possibility i can work there. fingers crossed!
I've always been thoroughly interested in the thought of sex for a long while now, but I'm waiting for my boyfriend to become my husband before that. Choosing to abstain felt like the right choice for me, for both religious and personal reasons.
Apply anyway. Interest and enthusiasm go much further in specialty industries than being similar to your customer base. I worked at a sporting good store and the best sports bra salesman was a gay guy. His mom had chronic back pain from years of not having good support and he was passionate about helping women get a good sports bra fit, even though he of course could never wear one himself.>>22701
I don't understand why people voluntarily run for exercise, or eat kale, or use bidets. I find all of those things uncomfortable or gross. To each their own though I suppose.
That's cute and wholesome. I hope it works out for both of you.
Can you offer your boyfriend for us to clone? Thanks.
>Choosing to abstain felt like the right choice for me, for both religious and personal reasons.
For me it's just personal reasons. And it seems impossible to find a like-minded guy or maybe I'm just cynical. Most guys around my age are horndogs.
18 and virgin here. I'm disgusted by most types of intimacy and I'm keeping to my Christian values so there is a very little chance I'll ever care to lose my V-card. I'm also anhedonic, but if I ever get married I'd be willing to lose it to my husband.
Well, I’ll tell you, my relationship started out as an LDR before he got an internship to work up where I am for this summer. We’ve worked to plan things out for the future, and he’s created a 5 year plan for our future; I’m posting it. I wouldn’t recommend finding a boyfriend on 4chan’s /soc/ or anything, but I met him on a discord server and he genuinely seems like the one.
Sorry, forgot to post the plan. It’s shorthand, but it’s nice to plan ldr relationships out.
big brain dog.png
"look for work in Maine"
sounds hard, but hope you two enjoy it.
Turning 27 this year and am a kissless virgin who never had a bf. My looks are average on a good day and I’m extremely introverted and socially awkward (but getting better at socializing). I’m especially not good at socializing with guys - all of my friends are girls. My hobbies are very narrow to the point that I suspect I might be on the autism spectrum, but I’m trying to expand on that too and become interested in other things.
Kissless, soon-to-be-24 virgin here.
Not only am I ugly and uninteresting, I also am really scared of men.
I have this weird and irrational fear that if I'm friendly or just smile at a guy, that he then might think I'm hitting on him. And because I feel inferior to literally anybody, the only outcome I can imagine is that he's repulsed by me and therefore laughs or yells something like "Disgusting, who do you think you are to hit on me! Why would you think you have a chance?!"
I can't look a guy into the eye. It goes so far that when serving male costumers I'm rude, like looking away and barely saying anything, just so that they don't get the wrong idea. Having to work together with a guy in uni is hell. I'm only ok with guys older than my dad.
When I was like 11 an ex friend went up to a classmate as a joke and said anon likes you. He then replied "The tall one?! Hell no!"
It was supposed to be funny, but I was humiliated. I wonder if that's the reason why I'm like this.
I sometimes got hit on when I was still younger and skinnier, but mostly by foreigners trying to take advantage of shy 18yo me or if I dressed like a complete whore. As cheesy as it sounds, the only wanted me for my body, never because they really liked me.
I’m really into Precure (magical girl anime for little girls). Not something I have a chance talk about much in real life.
Some of my friends do bring along guy friends, and I work with a lot of guys at work, but my issue with guys is that I always end up maintaining a polite distance from them emotionally.
same here. i'm also massively into precure, older mahou shoujo from pierrot, clamp, utena and just mahou shoujo in general. most people who are into that are either women or trans women, so meeting new men who are into my interests seems impossible.i've been diagnosed with autism as well
Tall is not bad at all, and in spite of what you may think, ugly is usually manageable. Your crushing self esteem issues that make you an ice queen is your #1 barrier by far.
By the way, a lot of girls are uninteresting. Just saying it like it is, that's why so many other girls try so hard to go the other direction and be super "quirky". You want to be interesting for real? Find something you're passionate about and really make it obvious. People can tell when your eyes are alight with something that fascinates you. It can be anything from cooking to something as niche as magical girls, which brings me to…>>26136>>26128
Don't feel defeated! Seriously, sure there are normies out there who might be [visible confusion] at anime but a lot of guys will be able to understand if you explain why you like it.>Strong female characters>Pretty outfits>Technical aspects (e.g.: animation)
whatever, it doesn't matter as long as you can articulate it
If it makes you feel any better, a lot of men don't take notice of women they find unattractive. Their eyes just glaze over you and you might as well be a faceless NPC to them. They don't even remember you.
As for men who take any friendly smile as a flirtatious sign, I've never heard of any cases where they embarrass the ugly woman publicly. Just don't engage in small talk with them. It's easy when most your colleagues or college classmates are female.
For a long time I felt, irrationally, that eventually it would just happen for me like it seemed to for other people I observed: i.e., I would one day meet someone and we would fall in love and I wouldn't feel alone or starved for intimacy anymore. Of course this never happened. I didn't go to prom. After high school I mostly lost contact with my old friends, and didn't make any new ones in college (I'm going into my senior year of undergrad now). I could never figure out how to make the jump from "acquaintance" to "friend" at university: it had been so long since I last had to make friends from scratch that I evidently forgot how.
It's just really hard to deal with the suspicion that you will always be alone owing to your fucked up complexes, inhibitions, and physical flaws.
I used to like to draw and paint but I haven't done so for a while. Lately I've gotten into birdwatching.
A cute guy set next to me on the train ,today reading some classic novel. The ride was 50 minutes, in my mind I pretended we are a couple, maybe some people saw us as one. Oh my. I'm not gonna make it.
Oof, I feel this. I'm in my 4th year of uni and didn't make a single friend. And my old high school friends all moved on(and away) too.
In the beginning I even tried, despite being shy, but also never managed to talk to the same person for more than a couple times. (Meanwhile others immediately turned into besties.)
I joined the japanese club, but also without success.
The older I get, the more I worry about ending up completely alone.
Oh god, I remember when I bought some books by Dostoyevsky, the literal 10/10 chad at the cash started talking to me. He said he doesn't see many girls reading Russian literature come by often and asked if I had read anything by Tolstoy before.
What do I do? I freeze up and just stand their silently for 10 seconds trying desperately to think of something to say. He eventually was like "uuuh, sorry for asking, here's your receipt." The last thing I expected was to be asked about fucking Russian literature of all things…
I have gone back to that store several times and haven't seen him since. It's over, I blew my shot.
>start aggressively pursuing someone who claims to be lonely khv online
>try my best, come up with topics he can relate to, be clear that i like him a lot
>he ignores me and never responds
I feel so sad. I expected that, but rejection is still difficult to handle. Of course, he started ignoring me once I sent him my pictures lol. I'm truly so ugly, stupid and autistic.
i have a very negative view of sex because i associate it as a gross, dirty thing due to the fact that i've had 'unwanted attention' every since i was VERY young, as young as 8
i was never molested/raped, but i've been groped by other students my own age, flirted with by pedophiles, etc
it imprinted this image of it being a "dirty" thing to me very early on
and i dont like the idea of being seen as a sex object and i can feel grossed out or depressed really easy by dehumanizing words such as "slut," etc, so i feel very silly and boring about it, so i just stay away from it
tfw when overly sensitive
I feel this too. I'll be starting my third year at uni (second year of this course) and dont have any friends. I play online games with a couple of friends from back home but other than that Im very isolated
I havent made new friends from scratch since starting secondary school and those are the friends I play games with now. it seems ezpz for everyone else like they found bestfriends overnight. the handful of people I have talked to I dont know how to make them my actual friends and we eventually just stop talking
Oh, good. Yeah he just sounds shy. Poor thing. If it were "pics", then you could make two good guesses at why he left. Ever consider just chasing him down?
Sorry anon, I'm too ugly for that. I think he feels uncomfortable because an ugly girl is pursuing him. I don't want to make it any more awkward. I'm giving up.
Thank you anon, you are truly very kind, but I'd prefer not to share my pictures for obvious reasons.
You're catastrophizing. It's just as likely that the guy is shy or got hit by a bus or something
I dont want to be rude, but are you overweight anon?
Sorry haha, I just wanted to vent. >>26229
No, I actually work out three times a week, I do extensive skincare routine, I try my best to find clothes and hairstyles that will suit me, etc. I just have an ugly face.
if youre doing all that I really doubt youre ugly then. things probably just got too much for him and he couldnt deal with it
>TFW my high libido doesn't match my self-image
arggg please make it stop. masturbation doesn't do it anymore, I need kiss…….
I noticed a lot of gals here are determined to stay virgins until marriage, it's a funny parallel with 4chan and their preference for virgin wives.
I'm just curious about your reasoning, is it because of the culture you were raised in or something else? I'm the type that doesn't like one night stands and casual hookups but I'll be damned if I'll abide by some traditional rule that forces me to not get to know my future husband intimately.
>>26236>but I'll be damned if I'll abide by some traditional rule that forces me to not get to know my future husband intimately
So because some guy who just wants to pump and dump you said it's lame, you're not for it? Doesn't make sense. In fact, it makes more sense for me to save myself for my love. Reproducing with someone is a very risky investment. Needless to say, you shouldn't pay up front for the deal of a lifetime, when the risks are so high. This is especially the case now. Refusing hook-up culture is a good way to avoid it, but if you don't you can't expect it to not happen. It's a low-trust society out there.
It is quite risky, and intercourse is almost always better for the dude anyway so it double sucks. I can get why guys have casual sex because they'll always get something out of it, but guys who are out to pump and dump don't care about your pleasure anyway. Validation, I guess?
>>26238>So because some guy who just wants to pump and dump you said it's lame, you're not for it
Sorry, I'm not quite sure I understand what you said here.
I believe sex is a very important part of a relationship and until I can find out how my s.o. treats it and performs it, what his attitude towards it is and how big his libido is I won't see him as marriage material. Currently I'm in an ltr and we started having sex a few months in. We're engaged and are going to get married after uni finishes. He's my best friend, someone I trust 100% and we have sex all the time, I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't even have to masturbate. I don't get the "intercourse is almost always better for the dude anyway so it double sucks" that the other anon is saying either. Sex is a great bonding and emotional experience, when you're having sex with someone you love it feels great.
I feel like you guys are a bit too bitter ;_;, our worth doesn't rely on our purity, that's a very jaded way of looking at things and if you get yourselves boyfriends that do look at you that way run far far away
It's several things. I'd jot it down to just mental illness. They were taught it was right, so they think it's right. >>26241>>26268
You're leaving your backs open. That's either stupid or mentally ill.
Open to what? You seem to be unable to comprehend the meaning of trust, and somehow believe the notion of marriage will magically protect you and not leave your back open? Anon, please. You sound either underaged, really sheltered and gullible or also mentally ill. Don't be ridiculous.
To getting stabbed? Or "stabbed" in a more literal sense.>marriage will not protect you
But a divorce defends. Oi!
I mean, I get the stabbing part but how is being fucked over in a relationship somehow worse than in marriage? You're going to end up as a "used up" non-virgin anyway if you happen to marry the wrong guy. I'd just like this arbitrary rule of no sex before marriage to be explained better if it's not related to religion/cultural reasons.
So far nobody gave a reasonable explanation, and so many girls here are adamant in staying virgins till marriage which is why I asked. I feel like people maybe have an idealized picture of marriage in their minds, but truth is marriage doesn't mean much anymore. Not like people didn't cheat before either, just that divorce was more frowned upon/harder to get.
>>26281>how is being fucked over in a relationship somehow worse than in marriage
So you lack trust. That's not very reassuring.>you're going to end up as a "used up" non-virgin anyway
It's called better odds, anon. Acting like the odds are zero because they're not whole doesn't justify any of what you say. You're clearly lacking in faith, religious or not, since you're so hopeless for love. Try not to bring people down with you. It's pretty insidious.
>>26281>I'd just like this arbitrary rule of no sex before marriage to be explained better
I think it depends on the person, but for me I don't want to be that vulnerable around someone unless I'm sure I can trust them and they're going to stick around. I don't think someone is used up if they have sex though, I just value intimacy for myself in a different way.
>>26282>So you lack trust. That's not very reassuring.I
don't, but people here do. You're misinterpreting me. That's me >>26241
. And the person that I replied to was the one that expressed the feelings of distrust >>26238
. I'm in a very trusting and nice relationship mind you, we're going to get married and everything. I just don't like the fact women can't trust a man unless they're married I guess. As if marriage will make him a better person suddenly, no, the trust and love and partnership comes before
marriage imo. On the basis of that trust is why I would marry. Of course that's just my personal take on it. >>26283
Mm I see. Thank for explanation anon