/feels/ - Virgin Thread
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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Virgin Thread Anonymous 19173

Post here if you haven't lost your virginity.

>turn 22 in two weeks

>never had sex
>never had a boyfriend
>only kissed a boy once in high school
>too afraid of rejection to actively seek relationships

Anonymous 19174

Glad we have basically 2 femcel and 2 tfw no bf threads here. Based cc.
V-card here, also 21 (although 8 and a half months younger than you). My story is growing up ugly then having shit social skills as a presentable adult.

Rejection isn't that bad by the way, just prime yourself to expect it and look at men as conquests rather than people whose opinions actually matter (until it becomes safe to love him…if ever idk haven't gotten that far). Good luck, pls wish me luck too.

Anonymous 19175


21 yr old virgin here. I've always been a voluntarily incel though. I feel like virginity should be lost to someone you love and care about.

I've gone on dates with a few guys but didn't really click. They wanted to have sex but I refused. I met someone 2 months ago and started dating them 3 weeks ago though. I really care about him and really click. He's my first boyfriend and i want to lose my virginity to him. The problem is that through my upbringing on misogynistic imageboard culture and my religion its insanely hard for me to feel comfortable losing it. I hate feeling so innocent and juvenile, all my girlfriends have had sex already and see me as a baby. But he tried fingering me and it hurt so much because I couldn't relax. Its hard getting aroused and wet with the idea of virginity and purity in my head. I hate this, how do I think like a normal fucking person. I feel like a slut having p in v sex with a guy after 2 months but fuck i want to already.

Anonymous 19177

>I met someone 2 months ago and started dating them 3 weeks ago though
fuck anyone who says people should fuck by the third date, 3 weeks is nothing at all.
Take your time, it's entirely reasonable to not be entirely comfortable with someone you've been with for so little time, not to mention the whole weight of the v-card overhead.
>how do I think like a normal fucking person.
take your time, it's entirely normal.
Is it just me, or did the idea of taking your time before jumping into things like sex has become more taboo?

Anonymous 19178

We went on our first date 2 months ago but officially started dating 3 weeks ago. We've been exclusive and I feel like we've been dating for 2 months already because of how close we've been since the start. He's a really nice guy and always tells me that he'll go as slow as I want. But i feel kinda bad bc i know he wants to have sex with me pretty bad. He never initiates anything without asking first.

I think i have the problem though. He doesnt care whether or not im a virgin, i need to learn how to make it less of a big deal.

Anonymous 19180

>just prime yourself to expect it and look at men as conquests rather than people whose opinions actually matter (until it becomes safe to love him…if ever idk haven't gotten that far)
It's funny, I can apply this mindset to everything but men. I'm unfazed about getting rejected for a job or for scholarships, but my mind shits the bed as soon as I think about hitting on guys. I'm trying to go out more, but most of the time I find myself talking to other women since it's so much easier. Next time I go out I'm going to make an effort to talk to men.
>pls wish me luck too
Good luck to you too, thanks for the advice.

>all my girlfriends have had sex already and see me as a baby.
I feel that. I'd get asked why I was still a virgin by friends who are leagues more charismatic and attractive to me. It even more embarrassing to explain that men rarely hit on me and I have to make a tremendous effort to be noticed.
I'm glad you've found someone and wish you luck too.

Anonymous 19184

I am 25 and I habe never had sex. I grew up in a small rural area where I never made any friends; my quiet self could not integrate with the other kids. Then I worked in an office position for four years which was a terrible idea and never worked out well. But because I was too scared of change, it took four years until I quit and went to uni. It wasn't a calculated move, after four years I simply ran away not even understanding what uni really is back then. I started uni at 22 and well I'm still doing it. Thing is the degree I'm doing is 70% female, I don't really meet guys and if I do they are taken. Uni really made me more confident but now I'm not even meeting other guys.

Anonymous 19186

>just prime yourself to expect it and look at men as conquests rather than people whose opinions actually matter
This probably ranks pretty high on the list ways to sabotage yourself from forming meaningful relationships with the opposite sex.

Anonymous 19187

Lost mine at nearing 26 and we're still together and stable. You girls can make it too.

Anonymous 19194

tbf the one "yes" I got I still quickly attached to despite him then friendzoning me after one date (my garbage personality). I have too much love to give to become the ice queen of my dreams…

Anyway I think desensitizing yourself to strangers' opinions is a good skill regardless.

Anonymous 19243

seriously, it's not a big deal. you don't need to feel uncomfortable. it's normal. you really don't need to get anxious about having sex. you're just a humanbeing. you're thinking too much about this whole thing. just relax.

Anonymous 19247

>kissed a boy once in high school
Fucking Stacey

Anonymous 19258

25, turning 26 in 2019. Never kissed, let alone intimate. What does it feel like? Love, not sex. I'm getting to the point where I'm getting scared to open up, and I feel like I will never open up.

Anonymous 19265

>voluntarily incel
>voluntarily involuntarily celibate

Anonymous 19409

Turn 22 in two weeks as well.
Kissless virgin here, too afraid to talk to anyone besides the few friends I have left from high school much less seek a relationship.

Anonymous 19417


I am only 18, but I've never had a boyfriend or been really close with anyone really. I'm super afraid in general to share my feelings with others, or tell them about my problems. I'm afraid of being an emotional burden, I guess.

That being said, I absolutely adore the concept of being in love with someone and having them love you back! I would love to have a cute relationship with someone in theory, although I really like my independence and have become accustomed to being alone, so I really don't know what to do.

Also seeing all of the "men are trash" posts and screencaps makes me worried that a "cute and pure" relationship isn't very possible in modern times. Does anyone else feel this way, or am I being naive?

Anonymous 19419

Wait you're expected to already have a bf at 18?oh fuck, i dont even have any male friends.

Anonymous 19420

>feeling like cute and pure is impossible
Yeah, I'm older than you but sadly also never had a bf and feel the same.
Like obviously I'm into sex and all that big time, but it seems like men are rarely monogamous or caring towards their partners. The minimum desire for me is to have a boyfriend who actually enjoys spending time with me but apparently men don't like doing that. Jeez.

Anonymous 19421

don’t give up, girls. 90% of men are pure trash but there are a few decent guys out there. I hated all my past relationships, it never worked out although I did everything for my partners. For the past 3 years I’ve been in the most loving, caring and growing relationship with a man ever. He is also my best friend by now, we share every aspect of our life. We do have our ups and downs (we both have depressive episodes) but we both worked hard on being better people, go to therapy, communicate in a honest and respectful way and now we’re happier than ever, getting married this summer. I’ve never felt more loved and appreciated in my life. Don’t let assholes treat you like shit, don’t settle for less. Good men do exist and you’ll know when you meet one. Until then enjoy your own company, you’ll get there!

Anonymous 19422

27 year old here, I want to die.

Anonymous 19424

Do you feel like dying just because your a virgin or because that your lonely and would like to be in a relationship? If you need any advice or vent just say so, im sure anyone here would be glad to try and help you to make you feel better.

I don't worry to much about being a virgin but i would like a romantic partner i just barely have time for my friends so i wonder how i would make up time for my partner. I hope that when i finished my study and get a steady job that i can try to put more time into finding a partner.

Anonymous 19425

Both of those reasons mostly.

Anonymous 19448

>I hope that when i finished my study and get a steady job that i can try to put more time into finding a partner.
Oh dear, oh no

Anonymous 19454


Finally had sex at 22 with someone I care about and am dating. i was so tense that he could only enter 1/3-1/2 the way in. I sucked him off and he liked it, he gave me some pointers and said he enjoyed it. I'm really glad he liked it.

He went down on me and I really didn't feel anything. Completely meh, hurt like a bitch when he tried to penetrate further. Greaaat, this is what it's like? I liked cuddling and kissing him though and the 20 min massage he gave me to try to help me relax.

Idk what's wrong with me, there was plenty of foreplay too and I think he's plenty cute.

Anonymous 19456

Were you wet at all?

Anonymous 19458

This is completely normal. Don't worry!
First of all, oral isn't everyone's cup of tea, I personally really hate it because I'm way too sensitive and it hurts me.
Penetration is something you'll have to get used to. You're tense because you're nervous and thinking about a million things and even if you don't, your vagina isn't used to being penetrated (even if you use tampons it's a world of a difference) and you'll need some practice. Sometimes I still need to start out super slow and have him do tiny little strokes in and out while he goes progressively deeper until I'm ready. For the first couple of years of my sex life I had vaginismus and even getting fingered hurt like a bitch. Now I know what I like and dislike and I'm way less performative about sex (doing what I like instead of doing what I think would feel/look good for him) and am having a much, much better time. But, sex is sex. It's not a life-changing experience. Some times will be amazing and super hot and other times will just suck and lack the right mood and feel, and sometimes it'll just be a casual thing, all with the same partner. I can say now that it's extremely overrated and extremely exaggerated in most media. Don't believe it has to be like in porn or fanfic. And just take it slow.

Anonymous 19459

so you've only tried the one time? cuz the first time is bad for almost everyone, guys included. most guys i know said they couldn't even finish the first time, and it's undeniably worse for girls. as long as you like the guy and you're both open about things, keep working and it'll get better, i guarantee.

Anonymous 19461

Yes it's my first time. I don't think I was wet, but we used a lot of lube. I think I have issues becoming aroused r/t internalized guilt about sex and honestly questioning whether I'm asexual or not to some degree. I can register him as attractive but he really doesn't "turn me on" so to speak. No guy or girl has ever really got me going in real life. But porn (3d/2d/fanfiction) does it for me so it's odd.

This is also me btw >>19175

He's very sweet so he worked up to it with a lot of foreplay and paused to give me a massage when he noticed I was too tense. He went very slow and we spent most of the time with his penis just sitting inside me while we cuddled.

I'm very confident about myself and my appearance so I was kind of hoping that I would enjoy myself the first time.

Anonymous 19463

It's good that he was sweet about it and you feel good about yourself, but nothing changes the fact that it's a brand new experience you'll have to get used to. Really don't sweat it. Try and try again until you find out more about what you like. And if you end up getting bored with trying, that's fine too, not everyone has to bang it up constantly to be happy. Also contrary to popular belief there's a lot of low-libido men out there too and you'll find your match.

Anonymous 19464

thank you for getting me to think about it another way

Anonymous 19465

Anonymous 19469

Don't worry about it, but remember arousal is as much mental as it is physical - as you keep having sex you may relax and enjoy it more. The first time is scary and there were probably a million things on your mind. With time you can also try different positions, see what works for you and your partner (either one being on top, fast / slow, etc) and start exploring your kinks. The best sex I've consistently had was with my ex and it was about a lot more than p in v (we played a lot with toys, bondage and other gear, and both were happy to switch).

Anonymous 19522

This is due to pornography and masturbation. You've essentially trained yourself to not like sex or real men, and overstimulated to the extent that it's hard to feel anything.

Anonymous 19543

cc traps.PNG

Uh oh.

Is he right cc?

Anonymous 19545

Clocks don't work like that.

Anonymous 19546

Stupid idiot.

Anonymous 19558

Not true, i rarely look at porn. the first time i watched any visual porn intentionally and masturbated was when I was 18. I had only read steamy yaoi fanfiction, which is akin to romantic novels, before then. I still rarely watch porn.

I just never think about sex and even though ive only done it once i dont find it an important part of my life or something to chase after

Anonymous 19600

Hold onto that hope. Keep going. It’s doable. But you will suffer and toil to create/find what is worthwhile. Become the most upstanding and confident person you can be. It is what I am doing. Keep going. Stay hopeful.

Anonymous 19613

Sounds like he's just inexperienced. Eating pussy, or turning women on in general, isn't intuitive to most guys.

Anonymous 19618

>Not waiting for marriage to have sex
Is it such a surprise you feel like a slut?

Anonymous 19628

Fuck you religiokneeger

Anonymous 19631

Considering it took me years to figure out how to orgasm, I'll always have sympathy for guys who struggle to get their partner to orgasm/turned on.

Anonymous 19637

I was like you, but I had never kissed a boy (only a girl in elementary school). I ended up getting in a relationship with someone in my junior year of college. I put myself out there, confessed my feelings, a d it just went quickly from there. I never really saw virginity as a big thing, didn't feel that much different other than "huh, feels like I thought it would."

Open yourself up to rejection and eventually you'll find acceptance.

Anonymous 19663

I mean you said you're religious. At least try to hold yourself to the standards you claim to profess.

Anonymous 19688

That's someone else you're responding to numbnuts.

I should have wrote my religious upbringing. I think that it has made me a better person overall and i appreciate the moral lessons, but i am not a staunch believer. I don't believe in one night stands, but i believe in sex between two people in an exclusive relationship who care about each other a lot with or without the context of marriage.

Anonymous 19832


18 and not planning to lose it anytime soon.

Anonymous 19905

Do you watch specific porn or masturbate in specific way/condition?
Any strong fetishes that allow you to get off without even thinking about regular intercourse?

Just like stressed or porn addicted guys have problems with ED when it's time to get their junk busy we can have these problems as well. Especially if we're talking about first time here.

Anonymous 20033

Screen Shot 2019-0…

>21 years old
>feel my body decaying with every passing month
>hormones causing romantic fantasies about complete strangers
>aware that i'm too socially inept to attain a relationship let alone talk to a man
>too socially inept to acquire female friends
>too ugly for men to approach me
>play dating sims to dull the pain
why did it have to be like this

Anonymous 20061

>turn 20
>Never been in a relationship
>Never kissed
>Never held hands in any romantic way
>Probably going to be a virgin forever
>Too awkward to approach anyone
>Too unnatractive to be approached by anyone
>Too conservative to have sex with random people

Anonymous 20072

>Turn 31
>talk to people well
>have a part time job for six years
>walk 2 hrs a day, lift weights
>write constantly, people like my stuff
>play WoW as guild's only priest, get along great with everyone
>never break the familiarity bubble irl because people are dangerous and disgusting and I hate not knowing what they are thinking or doing.
>virgin, can count friends in life on one hand
>attempts at romance haunt me to this day

My only friend is my dad. I think I've gotten to the point where it's more like part of the scenery than something I obsess over. Wasn't that easy in my 20's or as a teen.

Anonymous 20086

Have no one ever approached you or you always rejected possible partners ?

Anonymous 20088

I'm 24. The most action I've had was going on a date and holding hands.

Anonymous 20110


She was one of us.

Anonymous 20113

What’s your job?

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