Virgin Thread Anonymous 19173
Post here if you haven't lost your virginity.
>turn 22 in two weeks
>never had sex
>never had a boyfriend
>only kissed a boy once in high school
>too afraid of rejection to actively seek relationships
Glad we have basically 2 femcel and 2 tfw no bf threads here. Based cc.
V-card here, also 21 (although 8 and a half months younger than you). My story is growing up ugly then having shit social skills as a presentable adult.
Rejection isn't that bad by the way, just prime yourself to expect it and look at men as conquests rather than people whose opinions actually matter (until it becomes safe to love him…if ever idk haven't gotten that far). Good luck, pls wish me luck too.
21 yr old virgin here. I've always been a voluntarily incel though. I feel like virginity should be lost to someone you love and care about.
I've gone on dates with a few guys but didn't really click. They wanted to have sex but I refused. I met someone 2 months ago and started dating them 3 weeks ago though. I really care about him and really click. He's my first boyfriend and i want to lose my virginity to him. The problem is that through my upbringing on misogynistic imageboard culture and my religion its insanely hard for me to feel comfortable losing it. I hate feeling so innocent and juvenile, all my girlfriends have had sex already and see me as a baby. But he tried fingering me and it hurt so much because I couldn't relax. Its hard getting aroused and wet with the idea of virginity and purity in my head. I hate this, how do I think like a normal fucking person. I feel like a slut having p in v sex with a guy after 2 months but fuck i want to already.
>>19175>I met someone 2 months ago and started dating them 3 weeks ago though
fuck anyone who says people should fuck by the third date, 3 weeks is nothing at all.
Take your time, it's entirely reasonable to not be entirely comfortable with someone you've been with for so little time, not to mention the whole weight of the v-card overhead.>how do I think like a normal fucking person.
take your time, it's entirely normal.
Is it just me, or did the idea of taking your time before jumping into things like sex has become more taboo?
We went on our first date 2 months ago but officially started dating 3 weeks ago. We've been exclusive and I feel like we've been dating for 2 months already because of how close we've been since the start. He's a really nice guy and always tells me that he'll go as slow as I want. But i feel kinda bad bc i know he wants to have sex with me pretty bad. He never initiates anything without asking first.
I think i have the problem though. He doesnt care whether or not im a virgin, i need to learn how to make it less of a big deal.
>>19174>just prime yourself to expect it and look at men as conquests rather than people whose opinions actually matter (until it becomes safe to love him…if ever idk haven't gotten that far)
It's funny, I can apply this mindset to everything but men. I'm unfazed about getting rejected for a job or for scholarships, but my mind shits the bed as soon as I think about hitting on guys. I'm trying to go out more, but most of the time I find myself talking to other women since it's so much easier. Next time I go out I'm going to make an effort to talk to men. >pls wish me luck too
Good luck to you too, thanks for the advice.>>19175>all my girlfriends have had sex already and see me as a baby.
I feel that. I'd get asked why I was still a virgin by friends who are leagues more charismatic and attractive to me. It even more embarrassing to explain that men rarely hit on me and I have to make a tremendous effort to be noticed.
I'm glad you've found someone and wish you luck too.
I am 25 and I habe never had sex. I grew up in a small rural area where I never made any friends; my quiet self could not integrate with the other kids. Then I worked in an office position for four years which was a terrible idea and never worked out well. But because I was too scared of change, it took four years until I quit and went to uni. It wasn't a calculated move, after four years I simply ran away not even understanding what uni really is back then. I started uni at 22 and well I'm still doing it. Thing is the degree I'm doing is 70% female, I don't really meet guys and if I do they are taken. Uni really made me more confident but now I'm not even meeting other guys.
>>19174>just prime yourself to expect it and look at men as conquests rather than people whose opinions actually matter
This probably ranks pretty high on the list ways to sabotage yourself from forming meaningful relationships with the opposite sex.
Lost mine at nearing 26 and we're still together and stable. You girls can make it too.
tbf the one "yes" I got I still quickly attached to despite him then friendzoning me after one date (my garbage personality). I have too much love to give to become the ice queen of my dreams…
Anyway I think desensitizing yourself to strangers' opinions is a good skill regardless.
seriously, it's not a big deal. you don't need to feel uncomfortable. it's normal. you really don't need to get anxious about having sex. you're just a humanbeing. you're thinking too much about this whole thing. just relax.
>>19173>kissed a boy once in high school
25, turning 26 in 2019. Never kissed, let alone intimate. What does it feel like? Love, not sex. I'm getting to the point where I'm getting scared to open up, and I feel like I will never open up.
>>19175>voluntarily incel>voluntarily involuntarily celibate
Turn 22 in two weeks as well.
Kissless virgin here, too afraid to talk to anyone besides the few friends I have left from high school much less seek a relationship.
I am only 18, but I've never had a boyfriend or been really close with anyone really. I'm super afraid in general to share my feelings with others, or tell them about my problems. I'm afraid of being an emotional burden, I guess.
That being said, I absolutely adore the concept of being in love with someone and having them love you back! I would love to have a cute relationship with someone in theory, although I really like my independence and have become accustomed to being alone, so I really don't know what to do.
Also seeing all of the "men are trash" posts and screencaps makes me worried that a "cute and pure" relationship isn't very possible in modern times. Does anyone else feel this way, or am I being naive?
Wait you're expected to already have a bf at 18?oh fuck, i dont even have any male friends.
>>19417>feeling like cute and pure is impossible
Yeah, I'm older than you but sadly also never had a bf and feel the same.
Like obviously I'm into sex and all that big time, but it seems like men are rarely monogamous or caring towards their partners. The minimum desire for me is to have a boyfriend who actually enjoys spending time with me but apparently men don't like doing that. Jeez.
don’t give up, girls. 90% of men are pure trash but there are a few decent guys out there. I hated all my past relationships, it never worked out although I did everything for my partners. For the past 3 years I’ve been in the most loving, caring and growing relationship with a man ever. He is also my best friend by now, we share every aspect of our life. We do have our ups and downs (we both have depressive episodes) but we both worked hard on being better people, go to therapy, communicate in a honest and respectful way and now we’re happier than ever, getting married this summer. I’ve never felt more loved and appreciated in my life. Don’t let assholes treat you like shit, don’t settle for less. Good men do exist and you’ll know when you meet one. Until then enjoy your own company, you’ll get there!
27 year old here, I want to die.
Do you feel like dying just because your a virgin or because that your lonely and would like to be in a relationship? If you need any advice or vent just say so, im sure anyone here would be glad to try and help you to make you feel better.
I don't worry to much about being a virgin but i would like a romantic partner i just barely have time for my friends so i wonder how i would make up time for my partner. I hope that when i finished my study and get a steady job that i can try to put more time into finding a partner.
Both of those reasons mostly.
>>19424>I hope that when i finished my study and get a steady job that i can try to put more time into finding a partner.
Oh dear, oh no
Finally had sex at 22 with someone I care about and am dating. i was so tense that he could only enter 1/3-1/2 the way in. I sucked him off and he liked it, he gave me some pointers and said he enjoyed it. I'm really glad he liked it.
He went down on me and I really didn't feel anything. Completely meh, hurt like a bitch when he tried to penetrate further. Greaaat, this is what it's like? I liked cuddling and kissing him though and the 20 min massage he gave me to try to help me relax.
Idk what's wrong with me, there was plenty of foreplay too and I think he's plenty cute.
This is completely normal. Don't worry!
First of all, oral isn't everyone's cup of tea, I personally really hate it because I'm way too sensitive and it hurts me.
Penetration is something you'll have to get used to. You're tense because you're nervous and thinking about a million things and even if you don't, your vagina isn't used to being penetrated (even if you use tampons it's a world of a difference) and you'll need some practice. Sometimes I still need to start out super slow and have him do tiny little strokes in and out while he goes progressively deeper until I'm ready. For the first couple of years of my sex life I had vaginismus and even getting fingered hurt like a bitch. Now I know what I like and dislike and I'm way less performative about sex (doing what I like instead of doing what I think would feel/look good for him) and am having a much, much better time. But, sex is sex. It's not a life-changing experience. Some times will be amazing and super hot and other times will just suck and lack the right mood and feel, and sometimes it'll just be a casual thing, all with the same partner. I can say now that it's extremely overrated and extremely exaggerated in most media. Don't believe it has to be like in porn or fanfic. And just take it slow.
so you've only tried the one time? cuz the first time is bad for almost everyone, guys included. most guys i know said they couldn't even finish the first time, and it's undeniably worse for girls. as long as you like the guy and you're both open about things, keep working and it'll get better, i guarantee.
Yes it's my first time. I don't think I was wet, but we used a lot of lube. I think I have issues becoming aroused r/t internalized guilt about sex and honestly questioning whether I'm asexual or not to some degree. I can register him as attractive but he really doesn't "turn me on" so to speak. No guy or girl has ever really got me going in real life. But porn (3d/2d/fanfiction) does it for me so it's odd.
This is also me btw >>19175>>19458
He's very sweet so he worked up to it with a lot of foreplay and paused to give me a massage when he noticed I was too tense. He went very slow and we spent most of the time with his penis just sitting inside me while we cuddled.
I'm very confident about myself and my appearance so I was kind of hoping that I would enjoy myself the first time.
It's good that he was sweet about it and you feel good about yourself, but nothing changes the fact that it's a brand new experience you'll have to get used to. Really don't sweat it. Try and try again until you find out more about what you like. And if you end up getting bored with trying, that's fine too, not everyone has to bang it up constantly to be happy. Also contrary to popular belief there's a lot of low-libido men out there too and you'll find your match.
thank you for getting me to think about it another way
Don't worry about it, but remember arousal is as much mental as it is physical - as you keep having sex you may relax and enjoy it more. The first time is scary and there were probably a million things on your mind. With time you can also try different positions, see what works for you and your partner (either one being on top, fast / slow, etc) and start exploring your kinks. The best sex I've consistently had was with my ex and it was about a lot more than p in v (we played a lot with toys, bondage and other gear, and both were happy to switch).
This is due to pornography and masturbation. You've essentially trained yourself to not like sex or real men, and overstimulated to the extent that it's hard to feel anything.
Clocks don't work like that.
Not true, i rarely look at porn. the first time i watched any visual porn intentionally and masturbated was when I was 18. I had only read steamy yaoi fanfiction, which is akin to romantic novels, before then. I still rarely watch porn.
I just never think about sex and even though ive only done it once i dont find it an important part of my life or something to chase after
Hold onto that hope. Keep going. It’s doable. But you will suffer and toil to create/find what is worthwhile. Become the most upstanding and confident person you can be. It is what I am doing. Keep going. Stay hopeful.
Sounds like he's just inexperienced. Eating pussy, or turning women on in general, isn't intuitive to most guys.
>>19175>Religious>Not waiting for marriage to have sex
Is it such a surprise you feel like a slut?
Considering it took me years to figure out how to orgasm, I'll always have sympathy for guys who struggle to get their partner to orgasm/turned on.
I was like you, but I had never kissed a boy (only a girl in elementary school). I ended up getting in a relationship with someone in my junior year of college. I put myself out there, confessed my feelings, a d it just went quickly from there. I never really saw virginity as a big thing, didn't feel that much different other than "huh, feels like I thought it would."
Open yourself up to rejection and eventually you'll find acceptance.
I mean you said you're religious. At least try to hold yourself to the standards you claim to profess.
That's someone else you're responding to numbnuts.
I should have wrote my religious upbringing. I think that it has made me a better person overall and i appreciate the moral lessons, but i am not a staunch believer. I don't believe in one night stands, but i believe in sex between two people in an exclusive relationship who care about each other a lot with or without the context of marriage.
18 and not planning to lose it anytime soon.
Screen Shot 2019-0…
>21 years old
>feel my body decaying with every passing month
>hormones causing romantic fantasies about complete strangers
>aware that i'm too socially inept to attain a relationship let alone talk to a man
>too socially inept to acquire female friends
>too ugly for men to approach me
>play dating sims to dull the pain
why did it have to be like this
>Never been in a relationship
>Never held hands in any romantic way
>Probably going to be a virgin forever
>Too awkward to approach anyone
>Too unnatractive to be approached by anyone
>Too conservative to have sex with random people
>talk to people well
>have a part time job for six years
>walk 2 hrs a day, lift weights
>write constantly, people like my stuff
>play WoW as guild's only priest, get along great with everyone
>never break the familiarity bubble irl because people are dangerous and disgusting and I hate not knowing what they are thinking or doing.
>virgin, can count friends in life on one hand
>attempts at romance haunt me to this day
My only friend is my dad. I think I've gotten to the point where it's more like part of the scenery than something I obsess over. Wasn't that easy in my 20's or as a teen.
Have no one ever approached you or you always rejected possible partners ?
I'm 24. The most action I've had was going on a date and holding hands.
I am so glad I am not the only 30 year old female who is still a virgin here. you sound pretty much like me except for the whole writing and wow thing. I do like video games but yeah I only play jrpgs or single player games. But girl you're not alone sis! I also work out but mostly cardio and measure my calorie intake and as for friends I also dont have many and the ones I had either left the country to broaden their studies or are married with children now. The only friends I have are my sister and father but she moved to another city ;_; But as time passed I am starting not to care about being intimate with another person, I am pretty content with my life atm lol the only thing I would like is if I had more money in my bank account :P hahah but other than that I think I am good >>20110
the true queen of our people!
24, never held hands before even. I'm fat as fuck so that's probably why. Part of me wants to do something about it, but another part of me knows that even if I lose the weight I'll still be ugly from loose skin and scarring and shit. I wish I had someone who loved me but it just kinda feels inevitable that I'm going to die alone and a virgin. At least if I stay fat I'll get over with the dying thing sooner. Kinda weird because this didn't start bothering me until about 2 years ago.
you wont have loose skin if you work out while you lose the weight, do toning exercises and dont try to lose weight quickly so your body has time to adjust to the weight but yeah toning is the way to go. Also tbh there is guys that really dont care about those things dont listen to the incels or robots they are retards. Cutting back on the bread and soda will do wonders to your weight and your skin. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin tho, if you want to change do it for you not to attract some dumb guy.
If you work out and don't try to lose too much too fast, you probably won't have to worry about loose skin.
21, have had 2 (hs) bfs and still a virgin
i'm not in a rush, i'm waiting to find someone who actually wants a serious relationship w me
I'm exceedingly overweight and have been my whole life. I don't think there's any avoiding it.
There is avoiding it anon. You just have to work it off.
get your stomach stapled and then have surgery to remove the loose skin
Stay strong fellow 30 old virgin friends. You are not alone.
I am nearly 30 too and a virgin. I never found someone who i am attracted to and for the sole purpose of not being alone or losing my virginity i don't want a relationship.
Then i rather be alone for the rest of my life.
please dont post entries from my diary, thank you
at least you had a bf before
>every single one of my relationships ended because I refused to put out until marriage
and they were impatient
I know it'll be worth it though.
Friend of mine said she lost her virginity to her fiance before marriage and regrets not waiting, even though she has no religious reasons for it
Keep on searching, and your abstinence won't fail you yet. Good luck, anon.
Why? Did he leave hereven though they were engaged or something? Or is he now putting off the marriage too long now that they've slept together?
Already gone far, no sense quitting yet, just frustrating at times, but then I remind myself people that have sex break up all the time too>>20494
She said it was a matter of something she wanted to do for a long time and felt that she wasted the opportunity by not just waiting a few months longer, wedding night felt a bit cheapened from it, even though the first time is never perfect or that enjoyable.
Still happily married with the guy, but says thats one moment she would change
would you lose your virginity to a guy that had sex before? I'm not sure if I would if given the chance.
Vuvuzela guys are too loud in bed
Reeee! Hispachan raiders!
>ousting yourself with such an unthoughtful shitpost
>tfw first time was being raped by a guy you were kind of just fooling around with and don't get to claim actually being a virgin even though you feel like one, especially because you dated him after it but still feel as if the whole relationship and subsequent sex was not real because it was all a way to compensate for being raped
maybe you guys feel like losers or whatever, but you guys are lucky. at least you guys get to choose and the volcel virgin guys you relate to dont treat you like a slut for having subsequently dated and slept with your rapist. the guys i'm actually into are always volcel virgins that want similar girls
>be me>23>Had multiple bfs>Terrified of the idea of sex and penetration from basically day one of finding out what sex is>Still a virgin to this day>>20600
I was with a guy for 3 years and part of me refused to let him take my virginity because of this. The issue was deeper than just 'I can't let a non virgin take my virginity' (not too much of a stretch to imagine what the reason is as there is a thread discussing the topic on here) but spending too much time on R9K and generally having a massive complex regarding my virginity were contributing factors to why nothing sexual ever happened between us. Part of me feels bad for this now because I realise what fucked up thinking it is now.
My face is so ugly, I hate myself. Ugly, ugly, ugly. Huge manjaw, awful hair, glasses, I hate myself.
I think I am just going to go on Tinder and lose my virginity to a random man. I would like to experience sex, holding hands, falling asleep together, at lest once in my life.
I wish I could at least be in relationship with an ugly man, grow old with him, cook for him, work my butt off to buy him nice things, but I can't find anyone ugly enough who would be willing to accept me.
Don't be so hard on yourself, a big part of appearance is finding a look that suits you
Maybe a different hairstyle and glasses (and clothes?) could help your self-image
Thank you for your sweet reply, but I have tried both of those things. I know how to apply makeup, and I often receive compliments about my clothes. My face is just too ugly unfortunately.
Anon, if you were ugly as you said you were, nobody would look at you, let alone compliment you. Don't let what you see in yourself define what you see others see in you. They could just be shy of complimenting your looks, to begin with.
I'll be 30 in 2 weeks
What do I win?
21, virgin. I'm so fucking over the ''saving yourself'' thing. I used to think like that. Let's be real, most of us don't look like models. That means you'll be saving yourself for a below average/average guy.
The average guy doesn't care if the woman finishes. He's not very good in bed. His dick is weird looking. He's out of shape. He still watches porn and obsesses over IG models no matter how often you fuck him. He's fucked other women before. He'll glare at other women all the time. He'd dump you for a VS model. But most of all, he won't give enough appreciation for saving yourself for YEARS. He'll put his weird looking dick in you, it will probably be disappointing and not special at all.
The only way saving yourself is worth it is if you find a really rich guy. AKA MONEY is worth it. Are you really going to waste your most beautiful years waiting for some balding, average dude who doesn't flush the toilet and forgets your anniversary???
It reads to me like you're the one lying to yourself about "saving yourself", being so obsessed with looks, penises, and money. Not everyone is so carelessly shallow. Some people just want someone to wake up to.
I'm a virgin too, but "saving yourself" is a complete meme. My best friend has slept will many people, a 20+ partner count and she has no problems finding high-quality men to have long term relationships. I feel like a lot of the time "saving yourself" is an excuse to not try to put yourself out there.
If you want to save yourself, do it for yourself, don't do it for men because most high-quality men will not care.
Thank you for being so sweet again! That's so kind of you. I don't want to undermine your efforts, but personally, I compliment ugly women often. I also witness many ugly (deformed tier) women receiving compliments from other girls.
I have tried to ask out guys, I have tried online dating, but heh. It hasn't worked so far.
This was the blackpill I didn't want to hear but needed. Thank you. The future seems depressing, but then again, the alternative– having sex with an average/below-average man just to avoid this outcome– seems even worse. Is the only answer to take the rare worth-it guy for casual encounters and deny oneself a chance at long-lasting happiness by rejecting the average man? Is there a middle ground here at all?
The problem is the idea of falling in love and remaining loyal to only one person is the ideal situation (for some us of us itt), but I know that in this day and age, most people don't settle with the first person with whom they have romantic and/or sexual relations. Therefore, it isn't practical to hold onto this fantasy. It can make the current world of romance detestable, but it isn't something one can just continue to reject if they want to be happy. My older sisters, like me, waited… and waited. And now they're old maids who have given up on love. That's not to say they can't be happy, but that isn't the life I want for myself, and it's the path for which I'm headed currently.
Online dating never works, honestly. Just keep trying, okay? Someone will love your smile. Just be sure to like theirs. Good luck anon.
I agreed with you until you started talking about money. Are you sure you're not a LARPer? There's no difference between a rich guy and middle class guy. Both have fucked other women before you and would dump you on the spot for a VS model. Also, rich guys are the ones who obsess over and pay IG models to go on vacations with him and they're less likely to date girls who don't look like models so idk why you even mention rich guys.
nta, but how to find a sweet virgin boy who will value the relationship, care about me as a person, and want to go long term? I don't care about money, and only a little bit about looks (many men fit what I'm looking for and it requires no work, we'll say that).
Is it possible? I just want a life partner to cuddle, spend time with, and fuck daily, but from what I can see no men want that. They're all looking to trade up and can't get attached to anyone in any way.
Fuck, thinking of this makes me want to kys myself.
Don't tell me the anon you replied to was a male anon. I actually liked their reply, fuck.
What'd it say? I want to like it too.
From spending time on a certain more popular imageboard, a number of men seemto feel the same way. I think it's a case of introverts not really doing the bar scene long term if at all, so they get this twisted view from hookups or gold diggers and then kind of retreat back to solitude.
>Can't even keep your pronouns straight.
Come the fuck on, don't try to play that shit.
I'm also curious. I guess we'll never know.
This site needs an exhibit where everything except gore or obvious spam gets moved for display. It's something not a lot of sites don't have but need.
You're the obvious larper if you can't see the truth of that post.
>find a confession instagram page for my university
>80% are about one night stands and sleeping around
I shouldn't be shocked but now I'm just disgusted by everyone. Not because I'm consciously against promiscuity…but God, it doesn't seem fair that I just want a sweet boyfriend to love and treasure for the rest of my life and these people are just taking others for granted. How could they not value their sexual partners romantically? How can they be so unattached?
It's just weird to have it confirmed that these people exist near me, I guess. And that it's basically insured that no men here are virgins if everyone is so promiscuous (male and female). I hate this. I want to die. I want to cry. I want to punch someone. I want to be hugged.
>>21094>how could they not value their sexual partners romantically>how can they be so unattached
Because that's all they know. Just society in general.>it's basically insured that no men here are virgins
No. It isn't. It's just basically ensured that the majority of boys (and girls) you meet are going to be normalfags. Going through the social grind should provide you with someone to talk to about this, eventually. You can even associate with "them" so long as you avoid their invitations to dance the dance of the heathen gods. There's sometimes a slight chance you can meet someone "just like you" through them. Odds are they can be a boy as well. Don't give up hope, anon.
>>21094>basically insured that no men here are virgins
false there are always male virgins, even guys you wouldn't expect
>>21097>avoid their invitations to dance the dance of the heathen gods.>Don't give up hope
NTA but thanks for this. I have always hated these invitations even if I appreciate my normie acquaintances. This post gives me hope.
Thanks anons, I'm sure you're right and I'm just being irrational. I know that ~30% of young people haven't had sex in the past year at least. And I'm sure a lot of those are virgins, which is a good chunk of people/men. I'm also into male-frumpy nerd types so perhaps the chances increase with that.
It just made me very emotional so I wanted to believe and extreme and be angry and hate everyone.
Pic related tier tbh. Should kms for that instead.>>21100>has been invited to do normie things
You're welcome, anon. Just keep up the small talk and you can get somewhere eventually. Ask them if they know anyone "like you". This is the best part about making acquaintances with them, as their social hawk perception allows them to know plenty of people, even ones that they don't consider interesting. >>21103
You just have to get closer, talk more. They're extroverted enough to invite anyone to their get-togethers, provided you talk enough to them. They can't be snobs. By the way, please don't kill yourself, anon. Keep going.
I'm 30 and a virgin. But losing my virginity has never been a top priority. Figuring out what direction I want my life to go in is the top priority. Sex is somewhere low on the list. I want to be stable and self reliant. I'm not saying I'd reject a man but …its hard to really explain it.
But I've never been attracted to a man so much that I wish he'd want to date me, and I don't have a strong drive to reproduce. The thought that such things is supposed to be an obligation honestly saddens me.
There just was a news story that 1/8 of 26 year olds haven't had sex. I'm telling you, having sex is so last century.
no men allowed retard
we don't care go back to r9k
What would the female version of wizard be? Witches?
Asexuals are taking over the kids minds with their shitty Hamilton music and steven universe fanfics
Yeah that's bullshit, with the new hook up culture that means the ones who aren't having sex are the ones who are the desperate fucks where a woman needs a lay but she has no good choices around. Now they got all the choices possible at the tips of their finger, so they don't need to dip into the 1/8th of the pop that would be getting laid by no other means but because they had nothing else better available to them.
The. Article. Is. Bullshit.
They are trying to say "The sharp rise in the number of young people waiting longer to have sex may be because of a "fear of intimacy" and the pressure of social media, according to analysts." which is bullshit. The reason those people normally got laid in previous generations is because before high tech hook up culture, the only way to get laid is whoever was physically available around the person who wanted to hook up. And it's not a mystery that most women are the one who chooses who they fuck seeing as men would fuck anything and without the availability of being able to choose someone from half way across the city like you can in apps like Tinder and such they had to make due with what they had around them. Now with modern hook up culture, the choosers can be even choosier because their pool of who they want to have one night stands with has increased significantly which means the ugly/charming men who might have gotten that lonely pity fuck aren't getting laid now which are the that 1/8th.
It's not a fear of intimacy, it's just a failure to be physically pleasing to people to want to screw.
18 year old virgin here.
Never had a bf, never been kissed :(, never even been hugged by a guy. But I also kind of feel like this is a good thing bc when i get my first bf i'll get to experience all these things with him for the first time and it'll be extra special.
Although I've been tempted to just give up and maybe get fucked by some stranger on tinder or something soon because i dont know if i'll ever get one lol :<
To everyone here who is a virgin feeling sad about your situation, it could be worse.
I was 21 and 3 months, never had a real relationship (I had an online one for about 3 months and it ended pretty badly for me), much like all of you, I never had those cute experiences that come with being in a relationship that I want so desperately. I always fantasized about losing my virginity to someone who really valued it, someone who really wanted it. I stupidly gave it to someone who didn't care, I made one mistake and I hate myself so much for it, I just spent so long waiting for the right person and I think I gave up, I stopped believing that person existed, and so I stopped being the ideal partner for that person. All I have to say is don't. Just don't unless you love them.
You all seem just like I was, I felt ugly, not worthy, and simultaneously I didn't want to lose it to a stranger, I never thought I would. I don't know how it happened to me, it was lots of things. Built up stress, loneliness, fear that I'd never find anyone, maybe these things, maybe more. All I know is that it happened, and if it happened to me, it could happen to you, and I really want to tell you it's not worth it. It's not ever worth it, not unless you love them and they love you. I'm just trying to validate your suspicions that you're making the right choice. You are. 1000 times you're making the right choice by waiting. I was an idiot and I wish I had someone who made this mistake tell me what I'm telling you.
Don't. It isn't worth it. The post a bit above me explains it better than I could.
It's not that 100% of people regularly try to hook up with each other by tinder. Some people are too shy for that, some find it pathetic, some don't care that much about sex yes, men too
>as men would fuck anything
That's obviously bullshit
In the same boat anon. I know people at my school are constantly hooking up and sleeping around, yet I have yet to have sex. I've even heard people having sex while sitting by my window.
Nearly all of my friends are not virgins and I'm the only one left. And now I feel like the only virgin at my school. It's hard to relate with someone when they're talking about a ~wild hookup story~ or when everyone starts telling the stories of how they lost their virginity. I just sit in silence and nod along.
I've thought about making a tinder just to put myself out there and experience more but it just seems so valueless and I'm too shy to take initiative.
Don't give in to peer pressure. Burning themselves out now instead of focusing on their futures is going to be something leaving them feeling empty later on. Besides your first is way better when it's with someone you're sticking to, especially if you're their first. You don't have to stay shy out of talking to people, but that doesn't mean you have to give in to the dance of death.
>>22327>as men would fuck anything>That's obviously bullshit
Not that miner, but it seems to be true for all but the most outrageously hideous women. Let's be real here… it's easy to lose your virginity, it's hard to find a bf that is WORTH losing it for. Does anyone here actually want to have sex just to have sex? That's dumb. You want a relationship
It would be nice to be someones first, but at this point that sounds very unlikely. Also I think people are focusing on their futures and still having sex.
Saving yourself doesn't mean you have to avoid talking to other people. Staying out of everyone's life and embracing isolation is a problem in itself. Get out there, but don't throw yourself out there. Avoid getting too close, but don't stay away. It's not impossible. You just need balance, and your life will be at ease.
>>22327>That's obviously bullshit
I used to think so too, until imageboards opened a window into the world of men.
it makes sense, when you consider the males of other species. I grew up on a farm, an upland sheep farm to be exact, and I knew that our old ram would - hilariously - mount anything that looked the backside of a ewe. He'd vainly try to screw doorposts, chickenwire, gates, even one time the exhaust pipe of my dad's Land Rover.
That's human men too. Once you understand this, you realise how superior women really are to them. I think a lot of latent hatred towards us because we seem to be able to control our requirement for sex a lot better. Sure, I get really horny and want to have sex, but it doesn't make me go out and engage in weird fetishes or watch online filth. They're jealous of us because of that.
>>22531>imageboards opened a window into the world of men
Please don't get your idea of how the world works from the internet. Go outside. Talk to people. Stop being a recluse. It's not healthy.
>>22535>Please don't get your idea of how the world works from the internet.
"Please don't use anonymous places where people reveal their true faces, rather than the fake face they use in real life! It may reveal to you that while men can smile and shake your hand, all the time they're thinking of doing some gross obscenity to you!"
Before the internet, I never thought a man could go up to a woman in a store and just ejaculate all over her, all while filming it for his confederates online. Thank God I'm aware of such things now, so I can protect myself better. All women should be aware of these sort of things, and you can only learn it when men think they're alone with each other, in their little online holes where they think women can't hear their sordid little tales.
How about no? It's a good insight into the male psyche, and I'll keep doing it thank you very much.
I'm sorry but I don't see an equivalence between the two.
Women online sharing secrets - personal traumas or catty behaviour at school
Men sharing secrets - "I raped a woman", "I beat up a woman"
Women sharing fantasies - "I feel bad about it, and I don't want to act on them, but…"
Men sharing fantasies - "I want to blow Stacey's head off and the only thing stopping me is not having a gun!"
Anyway, major tangent to OP's thread. Suffice to say, men are on the whole scum, and if you can get a hold of one who isn't an over sexed moron who's sense of self worth relies on you or who sees you merely as an accessory, bolt him down ASAP so you can make clones of him.
Stop taking anonymous imageboards full of shitposting so seriously. Go outside, and talk to someone. Staying huddled in your own "pool" of truths isn't going to make your life easier. It's only making things worse.
I relate to this so hard and this is also why male incels frustrate me, when they think any guy would want to be with any girl without considering the high beauty standards women have to deal get noticed in the first place by the guys their interested in. Idk i've been annoyed today cause I thought a guy today was hitting on me until he asked for a dollar.
- sad 19 year old virgin
Im not saving myself for an average dude, I'm saving myself for myself. I'm holding unto my v-card until I feel I REALLY want to engage in the act with whoever I'm with. I can't say I've ever been that comfortable with a guy. They tend to compare me to other women, to my face, intentional or not, and it just puts me off and makes me feel like an object. Sex is only enjoyable if it's a mutual act, and when the guy clearly feels like he's lowering his standards to be with me, then I feel like I'm lowering mine. Every guy who asked me out, I've was never attracted to, but I wanted to give them a chance and grow to like them as people. Then they go and say or do something that implies they doesn't really want to be with me either, that the girl he asked out hours before me said no, and I was his second (or however many) choice, and that shit just makes me angry. I'd feel used, but I never put out to begin with for that very reason. I've had people come up to me and tell me I'm significantly more attractive than the people I've dated, and yet my dates still have the audacity to state they wish I looked "sexy" like a specific model. I'm not a model, I'm an average woman, and I have a BMI of 19.5 for fucks sake, so I take goddamn good care of myself compared to the average American woman, and look at you, you have fucking man tits. Fuck you!
Sounds like you're holding out for the perfect Chad Thundercock to come along and sweep you off your feet. Guess what, if it hasn't happened yet it's probably because you're not as good looking as you think.
nta but that doesn't sound like what she's saying at all. Projecting are we, anon? How many Chads have burnt your ass?
She just wants someone who won't put down her looks and go full hypergamy and dump her as soon as a hotter girl looks their way. Doesn't want to be a practice gf. Damn, do you not want the same?
Personally agree with her, I'd never compare a potential male partner to anyone and enjoy a wide variety of aesthetic attributes as equal (I could list them if you want but be assured none are chad-tier). And if I'm going out of my way to hit on a guy (which I have, 4 times) I WOULD be attracted to him. So I expect that decency from a partner.
But to be fair her point where she puts down chubby men is mean spirited, she could have left it at "not initially attracted to them."
And inb4>expecting men to care about you and have empathy is too high a standard
This would just prove the whole point.
You're correct about your analysis, I'm >>22637
I actually like cubby guys and have a feeder fetish, but men who have high expectations better put in effort. It annoys me to no end a guy can be chubby, but still expect an extremely fit partner and then not be satisfied even then. If you want an Instagram model, you should try to be on a similar level as well, because the terrible personality is not making up for it.
>tfw went into really cool lingerie/sex shop with friend yesterday so she could buy a buttplug
>oddly enough fall in love with the place and adore how helpful and nice the employees were
>"now hiring" sign in window
>want job there because lol
>tfw know nothing about sex and especially not sex toys
>all the employees were experts on everything
>realize i would be rejected on the spot if I tried applying
how do I stop being a sperg and just go out and have sex for once already?
i thought the end-goal was just having the job and not sex itself
As long as you're charismatic I think it doesn't matter. I'm vegan and when I used to serve I'd bullshit all of my recommendations to people.
it’s both, i’m too damn old to be a kissless, handholdless virgin and it’s about time i get over my insecurities and find myself a qt gf already>>22684
the employees (esp. the manger) were super charismatic. my friend is really obese and was struggling to find lingerie that fit her, and he did a great job of making her feel comfortable about being too big without being inappropriate. she otherwise would’ve probably cried. i loved that guy.
I don't understand how people do that to themselves, disgusting.
If your friends make you feel embarrassed for being a virgin then maybe it's time to get new friends. I don't mean this in a "drop anyone who disagrees with you" way, but rather do not be around bad influences way, and this includes sluts who think sleeping around is something to be proud of. After too much sex people lose the ability to pair bond and that leads to disastrous long term relationships, so if anything these "friends" of yours should be embarrassed themselves, you are better than them.
That's the point of these places. If the employees acted like cunts, it would fail as a store. They already have to compete with online shopping with discrete shipping, their customer service is the only thing that will make the place good. It's already a big scare for most for being in a sex shop as it is.
yeah you're right, and that just makes me like it even more.
i'm probably going to try dropping off my resume late tonight to see if there's any possibility i can work there. fingers crossed!
I've always been thoroughly interested in the thought of sex for a long while now, but I'm waiting for my boyfriend to become my husband before that. Choosing to abstain felt like the right choice for me, for both religious and personal reasons.
Apply anyway. Interest and enthusiasm go much further in specialty industries than being similar to your customer base. I worked at a sporting good store and the best sports bra salesman was a gay guy. His mom had chronic back pain from years of not having good support and he was passionate about helping women get a good sports bra fit, even though he of course could never wear one himself.>>22701
I don't understand why people voluntarily run for exercise, or eat kale, or use bidets. I find all of those things uncomfortable or gross. To each their own though I suppose.
That's cute and wholesome. I hope it works out for both of you.
Can you offer your boyfriend for us to clone? Thanks.
>Choosing to abstain felt like the right choice for me, for both religious and personal reasons.
For me it's just personal reasons. And it seems impossible to find a like-minded guy or maybe I'm just cynical. Most guys around my age are horndogs.
18 and virgin here. I'm disgusted by most types of intimacy and I'm keeping to my Christian values so there is a very little chance I'll ever care to lose my V-card. I'm also anhedonic, but if I ever get married I'd be willing to lose it to my husband.
Well, I’ll tell you, my relationship started out as an LDR before he got an internship to work up where I am for this summer. We’ve worked to plan things out for the future, and he’s created a 5 year plan for our future; I’m posting it. I wouldn’t recommend finding a boyfriend on 4chan’s /soc/ or anything, but I met him on a discord server and he genuinely seems like the one.
Sorry, forgot to post the plan. It’s shorthand, but it’s nice to plan ldr relationships out.
big brain dog.png
"look for work in Maine"
sounds hard, but hope you two enjoy it.
Turning 27 this year and am a kissless virgin who never had a bf. My looks are average on a good day and I’m extremely introverted and socially awkward (but getting better at socializing). I’m especially not good at socializing with guys - all of my friends are girls. My hobbies are very narrow to the point that I suspect I might be on the autism spectrum, but I’m trying to expand on that too and become interested in other things.
Kissless, soon-to-be-24 virgin here.
Not only am I ugly and uninteresting, I also am really scared of men.
I have this weird and irrational fear that if I'm friendly or just smile at a guy, that he then might think I'm hitting on him. And because I feel inferior to literally anybody, the only outcome I can imagine is that he's repulsed by me and therefore laughs or yells something like "Disgusting, who do you think you are to hit on me! Why would you think you have a chance?!"
I can't look a guy into the eye. It goes so far that when serving male costumers I'm rude, like looking away and barely saying anything, just so that they don't get the wrong idea. Having to work together with a guy in uni is hell. I'm only ok with guys older than my dad.
When I was like 11 an ex friend went up to a classmate as a joke and said anon likes you. He then replied "The tall one?! Hell no!"
It was supposed to be funny, but I was humiliated. I wonder if that's the reason why I'm like this.
I sometimes got hit on when I was still younger and skinnier, but mostly by foreigners trying to take advantage of shy 18yo me or if I dressed like a complete whore. As cheesy as it sounds, the only wanted me for my body, never because they really liked me.
I’m really into Precure (magical girl anime for little girls). Not something I have a chance talk about much in real life.
Some of my friends do bring along guy friends, and I work with a lot of guys at work, but my issue with guys is that I always end up maintaining a polite distance from them emotionally.
same here. i'm also massively into precure, older mahou shoujo from pierrot, clamp, utena and just mahou shoujo in general. most people who are into that are either women or trans women, so meeting new men who are into my interests seems impossible.i've been diagnosed with autism as well
Tall is not bad at all, and in spite of what you may think, ugly is usually manageable. Your crushing self esteem issues that make you an ice queen is your #1 barrier by far.
By the way, a lot of girls are uninteresting. Just saying it like it is, that's why so many other girls try so hard to go the other direction and be super "quirky". You want to be interesting for real? Find something you're passionate about and really make it obvious. People can tell when your eyes are alight with something that fascinates you. It can be anything from cooking to something as niche as magical girls, which brings me to…>>26136>>26128
Don't feel defeated! Seriously, sure there are normies out there who might be [visible confusion] at anime but a lot of guys will be able to understand if you explain why you like it.>Strong female characters>Pretty outfits>Technical aspects (e.g.: animation)
whatever, it doesn't matter as long as you can articulate it
If it makes you feel any better, a lot of men don't take notice of women they find unattractive. Their eyes just glaze over you and you might as well be a faceless NPC to them. They don't even remember you.
As for men who take any friendly smile as a flirtatious sign, I've never heard of any cases where they embarrass the ugly woman publicly. Just don't engage in small talk with them. It's easy when most your colleagues or college classmates are female.
For a long time I felt, irrationally, that eventually it would just happen for me like it seemed to for other people I observed: i.e., I would one day meet someone and we would fall in love and I wouldn't feel alone or starved for intimacy anymore. Of course this never happened. I didn't go to prom. After high school I mostly lost contact with my old friends, and didn't make any new ones in college (I'm going into my senior year of undergrad now). I could never figure out how to make the jump from "acquaintance" to "friend" at university: it had been so long since I last had to make friends from scratch that I evidently forgot how.
It's just really hard to deal with the suspicion that you will always be alone owing to your fucked up complexes, inhibitions, and physical flaws.
I used to like to draw and paint but I haven't done so for a while. Lately I've gotten into birdwatching.
A cute guy set next to me on the train ,today reading some classic novel. The ride was 50 minutes, in my mind I pretended we are a couple, maybe some people saw us as one. Oh my. I'm not gonna make it.
Oof, I feel this. I'm in my 4th year of uni and didn't make a single friend. And my old high school friends all moved on(and away) too.
In the beginning I even tried, despite being shy, but also never managed to talk to the same person for more than a couple times. (Meanwhile others immediately turned into besties.)
I joined the japanese club, but also without success.
The older I get, the more I worry about ending up completely alone.
Oh god, I remember when I bought some books by Dostoyevsky, the literal 10/10 chad at the cash started talking to me. He said he doesn't see many girls reading Russian literature come by often and asked if I had read anything by Tolstoy before.
What do I do? I freeze up and just stand their silently for 10 seconds trying desperately to think of something to say. He eventually was like "uuuh, sorry for asking, here's your receipt." The last thing I expected was to be asked about fucking Russian literature of all things…
I have gone back to that store several times and haven't seen him since. It's over, I blew my shot.
>start aggressively pursuing someone who claims to be lonely khv online
>try my best, come up with topics he can relate to, be clear that i like him a lot
>he ignores me and never responds
I feel so sad. I expected that, but rejection is still difficult to handle. Of course, he started ignoring me once I sent him my pictures lol. I'm truly so ugly, stupid and autistic.
i have a very negative view of sex because i associate it as a gross, dirty thing due to the fact that i've had 'unwanted attention' every since i was VERY young, as young as 8
i was never molested/raped, but i've been groped by other students my own age, flirted with by pedophiles, etc
it imprinted this image of it being a "dirty" thing to me very early on
and i dont like the idea of being seen as a sex object and i can feel grossed out or depressed really easy by dehumanizing words such as "slut," etc, so i feel very silly and boring about it, so i just stay away from it
tfw when overly sensitive
I feel this too. I'll be starting my third year at uni (second year of this course) and dont have any friends. I play online games with a couple of friends from back home but other than that Im very isolated
I havent made new friends from scratch since starting secondary school and those are the friends I play games with now. it seems ezpz for everyone else like they found bestfriends overnight. the handful of people I have talked to I dont know how to make them my actual friends and we eventually just stop talking
Oh, good. Yeah he just sounds shy. Poor thing. If it were "pics", then you could make two good guesses at why he left. Ever consider just chasing him down?
Sorry anon, I'm too ugly for that. I think he feels uncomfortable because an ugly girl is pursuing him. I don't want to make it any more awkward. I'm giving up.
Thank you anon, you are truly very kind, but I'd prefer not to share my pictures for obvious reasons.
You're catastrophizing. It's just as likely that the guy is shy or got hit by a bus or something
I dont want to be rude, but are you overweight anon?
Sorry haha, I just wanted to vent. >>26229
No, I actually work out three times a week, I do extensive skincare routine, I try my best to find clothes and hairstyles that will suit me, etc. I just have an ugly face.
if youre doing all that I really doubt youre ugly then. things probably just got too much for him and he couldnt deal with it
>TFW my high libido doesn't match my self-image
arggg please make it stop. masturbation doesn't do it anymore, I need kiss…….
I noticed a lot of gals here are determined to stay virgins until marriage, it's a funny parallel with 4chan and their preference for virgin wives.
I'm just curious about your reasoning, is it because of the culture you were raised in or something else? I'm the type that doesn't like one night stands and casual hookups but I'll be damned if I'll abide by some traditional rule that forces me to not get to know my future husband intimately.
>>26236>but I'll be damned if I'll abide by some traditional rule that forces me to not get to know my future husband intimately
So because some guy who just wants to pump and dump you said it's lame, you're not for it? Doesn't make sense. In fact, it makes more sense for me to save myself for my love. Reproducing with someone is a very risky investment. Needless to say, you shouldn't pay up front for the deal of a lifetime, when the risks are so high. This is especially the case now. Refusing hook-up culture is a good way to avoid it, but if you don't you can't expect it to not happen. It's a low-trust society out there.
It is quite risky, and intercourse is almost always better for the dude anyway so it double sucks. I can get why guys have casual sex because they'll always get something out of it, but guys who are out to pump and dump don't care about your pleasure anyway. Validation, I guess?
>>26238>So because some guy who just wants to pump and dump you said it's lame, you're not for it
Sorry, I'm not quite sure I understand what you said here.
I believe sex is a very important part of a relationship and until I can find out how my s.o. treats it and performs it, what his attitude towards it is and how big his libido is I won't see him as marriage material. Currently I'm in an ltr and we started having sex a few months in. We're engaged and are going to get married after uni finishes. He's my best friend, someone I trust 100% and we have sex all the time, I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't even have to masturbate. I don't get the "intercourse is almost always better for the dude anyway so it double sucks" that the other anon is saying either. Sex is a great bonding and emotional experience, when you're having sex with someone you love it feels great.
I feel like you guys are a bit too bitter ;_;, our worth doesn't rely on our purity, that's a very jaded way of looking at things and if you get yourselves boyfriends that do look at you that way run far far away
It's several things. I'd jot it down to just mental illness. They were taught it was right, so they think it's right. >>26241>>26268
You're leaving your backs open. That's either stupid or mentally ill.
Open to what? You seem to be unable to comprehend the meaning of trust, and somehow believe the notion of marriage will magically protect you and not leave your back open? Anon, please. You sound either underaged, really sheltered and gullible or also mentally ill. Don't be ridiculous.
To getting stabbed? Or "stabbed" in a more literal sense.>marriage will not protect you
But a divorce defends. Oi!
I mean, I get the stabbing part but how is being fucked over in a relationship somehow worse than in marriage? You're going to end up as a "used up" non-virgin anyway if you happen to marry the wrong guy. I'd just like this arbitrary rule of no sex before marriage to be explained better if it's not related to religion/cultural reasons.
So far nobody gave a reasonable explanation, and so many girls here are adamant in staying virgins till marriage which is why I asked. I feel like people maybe have an idealized picture of marriage in their minds, but truth is marriage doesn't mean much anymore. Not like people didn't cheat before either, just that divorce was more frowned upon/harder to get.
>>26281>how is being fucked over in a relationship somehow worse than in marriage
So you lack trust. That's not very reassuring.>you're going to end up as a "used up" non-virgin anyway
It's called better odds, anon. Acting like the odds are zero because they're not whole doesn't justify any of what you say. You're clearly lacking in faith, religious or not, since you're so hopeless for love. Try not to bring people down with you. It's pretty insidious.
>>26281>I'd just like this arbitrary rule of no sex before marriage to be explained better
I think it depends on the person, but for me I don't want to be that vulnerable around someone unless I'm sure I can trust them and they're going to stick around. I don't think someone is used up if they have sex though, I just value intimacy for myself in a different way.
>>26282>So you lack trust. That's not very reassuring.I
don't, but people here do. You're misinterpreting me. That's me >>26241
. And the person that I replied to was the one that expressed the feelings of distrust >>26238
. I'm in a very trusting and nice relationship mind you, we're going to get married and everything. I just don't like the fact women can't trust a man unless they're married I guess. As if marriage will make him a better person suddenly, no, the trust and love and partnership comes before
marriage imo. On the basis of that trust is why I would marry. Of course that's just my personal take on it. >>26283
Mm I see. Thank for explanation anon
I'm with you on that. I've had a relationship and never had sex, closest I got was mutual masturbation. It just felt 10x better when you had someone else you could kiss or hug. I learned my weakness is getting my ear licked and I miss it.
Solo masturbation sucks now. It does the job temporarily but it never leaves me satisfied anymore.
deep sigh cat.gif
29 year old virgin. I've been kissed but only twice though - first kiss was at 14 and I remember it was really nice haha, second time sucked when I was 16, he was my boyfriend and we were friends before but I finished with him soon after cause I realised I didn't even like him. I've had a couple of dates in my 20s but they didn't work out (wasn't really interested in them). had crushes on guys but too scared to make a move/talk to them.
I want to lose my virginity before I turn 30 but I'm not prepared to hook up with a rando, I want a boyfriend but the only guy I like barely knows I exist and he has a gf :( I'm pretty enough but I'm a shut in with mental health issues and no friends and don't socialise. I'm afraid of rejection too and letting someone see the 'real me'.
Because nowadays it's common for people to break up with their SOs soley for bodily flaws, so back then the hassle of divorce all for the sake of the woman not having the right nipple size/unattractive vagina/stretch marks/ whatever flaws that can't be seen under clothing didn't seem worth it and men had to learn to be more grateful and appreciative with the woman's body, unlike men nowadays who will act as if conventionally attractive women are hideous beasts if they have cellulite, slightly saggy breasts or not enough hip to waist ratio>Inb4 "that doesn't happen"
Soon-to-be-24 and kissless.
There were some dudes who might would have been willing to fuck me, but never anybody who wanted to be in a relationship.
I also was never attracted to any guy irl, I only have like a dozen celebrity crushes. I really have never been in love. This frightens me, others at least had unrequited crushes, but me? Never…
##I also feel horny quite often, so it's not like I'm asexual either.##
Oh, guess that spoiler thing doesn't work like on lolcow
28 and a virgin.
I came to terms with the fact that I will never have sex. I have many things a lot of people dream about: good, stable income, peaceful family life, sweet friends, comfy apartment. Some people die as khvs, and that's okay.
That being said, I'm still genuinely sad that no male (besides my dad) will ever care about me or hug me.
kissless, hugless or handholdless, virgin.
Sometimes it's both in the middles (khhv).
Never even been on a real date.
I've always felt like a relationship would be too much trouble. Not in general, but at any given time I thought "I've got a lot going on right now, I can start trying to date later." Even now I think that.
It feels like I have hardly any free time, and lonely as I am I don't think I'm lonely enough yet that I'd want to spend all of my free time trying to find/have a relationship. It seems like relationships take up an awful lot of time.
Why don't you have any time? It's not very time consuming to weed through Tinder to find a decent guy and set up a date. I found a really great guy on there. Just be up front and say you're only looking for a LTR and only go on dates with nice men you can talk to easily with similar interests. Might take a while but it is very rewarding. You can do it anywhere. No idea how people meet each other naturally though.
Between having a wageslave job 6 days a week, stuff I have to do at home, and trying to start up a small business on the side, it feels like I only have a few hours each day to myself. Sure, I might be able to find a date in a day, but then I'd have to burn at least an hour or two of my time on actually going on the date, and then more for more dates either with them or other people as I continued looking. Any given week never feels like it would be a good week to plan for that. Theoretically, I still have years before it becomes urgent. There are plenty of things I need or want to do that have much shorter deadlines.
To make matters worse, out of all the people I've ever known I've never actually wanted to have a relationship with any of them in particular, which doesn't give me high hopes for finding a match by throwing a dart at dating sites. I feel like it'd be easier to just wait until I happen to meet someone in my day-to-day life that I actually want to be around.
I wish I could just skip all the way to living with someone and being so comfortable with each other that we hardly acknowledge the other's presence.
OP here, six months later and still a virgin. I had a brief thing with a guy but I realized I wasn’t attracted to him and now know I’m bi and maybe gay.
>>27277>now know I’m bi and maybe gay.
Well damn, congrats on possibly making a big realisation about yourself. That one's a doozy.
Hope you find a gf to lose it to then, op!
If you wait years until it gets urgent you're gonna have to settle for some jackass or a guy with 3 kids. Are you aromantic or asocial perhaps? Do you have some anxiety about dating? Because that all sounds like a bunch of excuses. Unless you're working 60 hours a week, cmon. Plenty of people work and go to school but still make time for their love life. No one wishes they worked more when they're on their death bed. Just put aside all your apprehensions and try it.
And I never liked anyone that I knew in real life either. Being able to sort through 1000s of guys to find the perfect one for me was great. Like I genuinely think this guy is my soulmate its ridiculous how well we vibe. People give Tinder too much shit, plenty of guys want LTRs on there. Just obviously don't put out too early until you really get to know each other and be clear with your intentions.
>>27318>Are you aromantic
I don't think so, but obviously I don't really have any way of knowing.>asocial
Quite possibly. I don't tend to go out of my way to see or be with anyone, friend or not. The only times I talk with people are when I happened to see them at work or school, and even then not much.
there's plenty of asocial, "lets be alone together", sweet type of guys out there for you. you just gotta be REALLY careful about red flags with that kinda guy lol
It's quite a cruel twist of irony that the perfect one for me is as unlikely to interact with other people as I am.
I'll keep up hope, though.
Technically I've had sex once, but I really feel like I'm a virgin. The other experience is even more pathetic
>I meet a nice guy
>Hang out with him for 2 months
>He invites me to his house
>We eat and talk for a while
>We started making out on his couch first kiss btw
>We ended up naked and started having sex
>The guy doesn't even last two minutes and cums
>Awkward moment where I don't know what to say or do
>I just go home
>Never speak to him again and he does the same
Then, two years later.
>I meet a cute guy with the body of a twink
>For my taste, he's like a 8/10
>Probably a virgin
>We talked and dated for a few months
>As I see him too shy to invite me to his house, I decide to invite him to mine to watch a movie
>He comes to my house and we start watching the movie
>I see he is too nervous to dare do anything so I decide to kiss him
>We start touching each other
>I take his clothes off
>After a while I tell him to get the condom
>"I-I didn't bring anything"
>I think he's joking, but then I realize he's serious
>I'm there, horney without being able to have sex
>Where I live, I'm nowhere near where I can buy a condom at that time
>Frustrated, I start kissing him everywhere and even I bite him kek
>I decide to give him a blowjob and he cums
>I tell him to finger me but he's really bad at it
>I make him stop and we end up watching the movie without talking
>It's too late so I let him sleep there
>Before I go to sleep, he apologizes and I tell him it's okay
>In the morning he leaves
>He never answers my messages again
I really liked that fucking twink, I should have thought about buying the condom myself, but I didn't think he wasn't going to do it. Since then I have not met anyone who interests me, nor anyone who is interested in me. At this point I think all my attempts to have sex will end in awkward moments.
Holy shit this kid has the same face as me
To bo honest I don't find myself ugly, I just don't get to know people because I work from home and I don't do anything else
>volcels don't exist
We're out here.
When I was a teenager, I was too edgy and I said to myself that I was a lesbian. It was like at my 20s that I accepted that I wasn't a lesbian
Why do you have to be like that?
>get on crystal.cafe
>this is the first reply i see
shut. the. fuck. up.
people like you just want to make others sad.
you have no life, this is why you're on crystal.cafe, calling other girls ugly.
i bet you got bullied a lot as a kid/teenager so now you're taking your anger out on random innocent people on the internet.
guess what? no one fucking cares. so shut up.
i'm so sick of people like you who think they can say whatever they want.
If you're just a Virgin by choice then you literally don't even have anything to be complaining about in this thread to begin with.
It could be the case that the people you don't like would fuck you but not the people you like. Still volcel, but also a struggle.
I've been pursued by cute men but my type is dumb specific (not high, just specific) so that's my situation.
Also things like >>19175
>>22536>Before the internet, I never thought a man could go up to a woman in a store and just ejaculate all over her, all while filming it for his confederates online.
Most of that style of porn when apparently taking place in the west is faked based on the real versions from asia (usually Japan). Nip-produced stuff of that style tends to be real because of quirks in their law and society that make it much less likely anyone doing this will face any consequences: for example Japan also allows girls to get essentially raped during porn shoots for not reading the small print on 'modelling' contracts.>>22538
Never forget what 4chan's faq has always said: it's autistic works of fanfiction. Taking what you see edgy teenagers post on imageboards at face value is retarded and is what led to /pol/ from assuming the edgy use of nigger and fag had any deeper meaning.
>>27841>Never forget what 4chan's faq has always said: it's autistic works of fanfiction. Taking what you see edgy teenagers post on imageboards at face value is retarded
Oh yeah, sure, it's not like anything ever happens, like, a 17yo girl getting slaughtered after thousands of posts from frantic orbiters obsessing over her and riling each other up to deify and vilify her more. What is an echo chamber? Nothing if it's ~ironic~.
34, am a virgin and will stay that forever. I always wanted to stay virgin when I was a child because thought that sex was stupid adult habit that they did to belong. Never thought they actually wanted that, especially women. I think the same way now, sex is simply gross and getting naked in front of someone is embarrassing, like in a comedy.
Her murderer was a person she knew IRL and was even a family friend. She was briefly relevant on /r9k/ in 2016, 99% of the current userbase hadn't ever even heard of her.
Stop spreading misinfo, it hurts your case. You don't need to create faux realities in order to assert robots are broken and damaged, 10 minutes on that board paint a telling picture already.
He knew her irl but he was also a /b/ poster (not an /r9k/ user). They're not mutually exclusive. The point still stands that he was part of that environment and it may or may not have contributed to his deeds.
>Some shit blowing up about a kid getting murdered by her boyfriend
>Read more into it
>Feel less and less empathy for her
>Come to the conclusion that the world just rid itself of two awful people
>Realize I'm a bad person
Hate on me all you want, I'm okay with this. We were rid of some girl that was no doubt gonna grow up to be an abuser of people and drugs and probably would've died of an overdose in a few years, and some pathetic incel who almost definitely would've gone on to become the next mass shooter. It's a shame she didn't get help I guess but all I see is a net gain.
She was disturbed, but she didn’t deserve to be murdered and have pictures of her body distributed.
I mean sure, but nothing of value was lost.
She was a shit person and a complete asshole to a bunch of people.
That doesn't mean a 17-year-old deserved to be murdered.
This. Oh what now, a girl who was raised in pedo grooming servers from age 12 or 13 turned into an unstable bitch? Guess she deserves to be slaughtered!
You can read the other post. Didn't say she deserved it, just that I don't feel bad for her.
>>27858>nothing of value was lost
Someone lost their daughter. Her family not only has to struggle with the grief of losing their child, but also having to deal with having pictures of her corpse spread across social media. I have no doubt that some sick fuck is already sending them the pictures, like when Nikki Catsouras died.
A person ejaculated on the pictures of her mangled body, scanned them, and messaged her mother with them on facebook.
Pretty certain she would've ended up dying soon anyway. Fucked up teenagers killing each other is an extremely common case when it comes to teenager murders, the only difference is that these two broadcast themselves online more and the girl had a bigger online presence but a case like this is nothing new. It's a shame her life stopped before she could (unlikely but possibly) pull it together. I know girls that were like her in their teens, most of them ended up pretty badly but some recovered. She didn't deserve it of course since she was just a dumb teenager but she played stupid games and won stupid prizes.
Also just a correction, the dude wasn't an incel like many claim. He was a family friend and was just a typical jealous guy.>>27862
It's clear she comes from a broken home where her family didn't care about her whoring herself online for drugs.
>>22667>Go into sex shop.>Ask cute cashier girl where the buttplugs are>She immediately turns beet red, lets out an unintelligible squeak, and points to some shelves.
Sucks for her family that I guarantee did not give a flying fuck about her until now considering the shit she was into. Doesn’t mean she was anything of value, though. You talk like folks who’ve never been around addicts. They are objectively not good people until they decide for themselves that they need to get better (unlikely to happen). It’s not possible to be a good person when the most important thing to you is getting your next fix.
Fifty bucks the incel who did that shit is a skinny manlet with as a weak ass chin, neckbeard, greasy ass hair and busted yellow teeth and wonders why he has no real friends. Kek.
>>27888>inverse halo effect
Oh yeah for sure
She wasn't an addict. She did weed and lsd, like a shit ton of teenagers do. Saying that she had it coming is a bit cope in order to avoid internalizing the fact that it could happen to anyone.
imo she had a bad brain and nothing could have taken her off the path she was on.
How do you cope with men who are naturally flirtatious? A guy like that flirted with me and I fell for him hard because no man has ever behaved that way around me before. So it was a real hard pill to swallow when I found out he did that with everyone. It’s just his personality and he didn’t mean anything by it.
It's tough to first get used to.
What did he do that was so flirty?
still want to lose my virginity before I turn 30. so I can say that I lost it in my twenties. that's 10 months away but I don't know any men and unless I stop being a shut-in and put myself out there in the world I think my chances are slim (since I want it to be meaningful and not with a random guy). I wish I could find the motivation to get the fuck out there and FUCK
I don't know why you want to cope with it? Just accept he's naturally that way.
God, I want to have sex so much. I want to be embraced by man, I want to hold him, kiss him, go out on cute dates with him, hold hands with him.
It sucks so much that no matter how much effort I put into myself, I still can't find a bf. I hate my ugly face, my autistic personality, my dumb interests, everything about me is stupid and repulsive. I just want to have a boyfriend, please, please, pleaseee (sorry for this autistic post, I just wanted to get this off my chest)
99 times out of 100 it's due to not putting yourself in situations where you can meet men/flirt et cetera.
The dynamics have changed to the extent where people don't really meet potential romantic partners in everyday life. People are more isolated than in the past and that rings doubly true once you are done with school/uni.
Who do you have sexual fantasies about when you lie in bed at night? I used to fantasize about the guys I had crushes on, but realized that it's really unhealthy (I will never be with them and I'm just torturing myself). Faceless guy doesn't feel right either. Celebrity? Fictional character? This is so lonely.
I honestly fantasize about one of the incels forum mods. Every night, for years.
Is it that little Turkish boy?
And why do you do this to yourself, anon?Post pics of him pls
my friend that I had a huge fight and falling out with
yes its awful
Nope, that little boy is beautiful but he raped a woman, and I don't like his posts anyway.>>27974
I don't know, I really like him, and I'm so lonely. He doesn't post pics of himself so I don't want to do this, sorry. But if you look hard enough you can find them.
Wait really? That's fucked up.Also how is he still an incel if he raped someone,
I have some home baked husbandos that I draw and subsequently fantasize about.
I do it to crushes too. I've found it doesn't make me any sadder, since I always do make a move and they disappoint me. Then I'm turned off so it doesn't matter.
Posted in here about 6 months ago, give or take. Still a virgin.
I’m really determined to lose it once school starts back up again and I’m actually “kinda” socializing with people again.
I just don’t wanna lose it to someone random, but it doesn’t have to be my boyfriend or anything either. Like a friend or acquaintance would be fine, maybe someone I could hookup with a few more times too.
Try your best, anon. It’s easier to have sex when you’re in school. In the working world, it’s a lot harder to meet people. I regret not trying harder when I was in school.
I feel you. sometimes I ache so bad just to have a guy to love
nayrt but this is so true (about the not meeting romantic partners in everyday life) but I don't want to use dating apps. I just want it to happen organically, meeting a guy 'in the wild' so to speak.
I was the same - I used to fantasise about guys I knew IRL and liked but I didn't need all of the dirty things I'd imagined doing with them running through my head the next time I saw them and making interacting with them more difficult. It's also true that it's almost like torturing yourself so it's best not to go there imo.
I usually just think of whatever celebrity I'm into at the time.
Older virgin women out there, how do you cope with aging? As every year passes, I feel even more hopeless. The bags under my eyes are increasing, the lines on my neck are setting in, my nasolabial folds are becoming more pronounced… Online, you read about men in their 30s getting the last laugh as they become older and more successful, while women in their 30s age and life becomes harder for them. The men are happy because they think these older women had their fun and finally “got what they deserved”. I sometimes see this type of attitude in older men in real life too. Makes me want to kill myself, because I never had wild partying days full of sex or anything like that, but get lumped into the same category of women too old for men my age to date.
Reading this thread makes me sad.
We judge on other cultures for their strange behaviors around sex and love but being on cc made me realize how absolutely fucked great parts of the western mindset are.
I guess other women who have relationships and all that still have those thoughts from time to time just like men and everyone, even r9k fuckups, finally want to be loved and thats it.
I wish I could just grant everyone in this thread an unconditional loving significant other to swipe those horrible shit out of your minds.
24 yo virgin here. I am volcel tho. I think im going to be alone for the rest of my life, there arent any good guys here in aus.
>>28007>there arent any good guys here in aus
If you think like this about your situation, you aren't allowed to post here.
Nta but why not? This isn't the femcel thread, just the virgin one.
you must not be from aus then.
no advice unfortunately anon, but I'm with you in this shitty boat.
I've felt pretty hopeless recently about my life in general but especially finding someone to fall for and lose my virginity to.
when I imagine meeting someone to be with and having sex with them the idea of it ever coming to pass honestly feels ridiculous. it's so hard to imagine it actually becoming a reality because I have got to this age (30 next year) and still haven't had the experience. people who have always had sex/intimate partners don't realise how lucky there are. sex must feel as normal as brushing their teeth, such a simple day to day thing, yet for me it's this illusive unicorn I've been yearning after for years….. where is my unicorn?
>>28003>>28003>The men are happy because they think these older women had their fun and finally “got what they deserved”. I sometimes see this type of attitude in older men in real life too.
Guys who talk like that probably just hate women and aren’t worth your time anyway. There are plenty of dudes of various ages willing to date 30+ women
I don't know that those anonettes are saying they want to date those guys, they're just sad they're being judged and laughed at.>>28013
Your first time won't feel like a magical unicorn to you. Or, at least, most likely won't. First times are mega romanticized and it gets better, more intense, and pleasurable with more experience (with the SAME partner as your bond deepens and you get to instinctually know each others' bodies).
I do feel for you though miner. It makes me feel sad to know there are so many lonely women and even men in this world who want to have someone and can't find them.
I feel you about getting older and still being a virgin.>tfw you watch your hair start to go grey but you still haven’t had something as basic as sex yet
I think I'm losing my virginity in a few weeks when my LDR boyfriend is flying over to meet me.
Holy fuck the idea of it all scares me. He's not a virgin. What if I fuck up so badly? What if I don't live up to his standards of good sex? It's horribly anxiety inducing.
As a virgin, I would have honestly preferred a virgin guy on my first time just so I'm not this scared of royally fucking up to the max.
>>28020>What if I fuck up so badly?
How do you fuck up sex?
You could lay as still as a corpse and he probably wouldn't even notice…
>>28020>What if I don't live up to his standards of good sex?
27 year old virgin. I’m considered very attractive but I never go out and I’m socially awkward and people gross me out but I don’t wanna be this way heeeeeeeeelppppp
Worst advice EVER>>28020
It won't be as good if you don't know your body, what you like, how you like it.
Try playing with yourself to be more in touch with yourself so you can make him focus on that.
It's a duet, gotta participate as well
>>28026>27 year old virgin. >I’m considered very attractive
Lol by who? Yourself? Sorry but that doesn't count for much.
Anyone here gave up?
I'm under 25 but even then, I feel like I don't have enough time, I'd rather focus on other aspects of life.
Brace yourselves, winter is coming and it's going to get so cold without anyone who wants to cuddle with you and give you some warmth before you fall asleep.
Well, that seemed unnecessarily mean…
How do you even meet people in this day and age? Online dating seems like the wrong crowd and Tinder seems like they’re only in it for hookups.
I met one guy through friends and one at a bar. Mind you nothing happened but having a big friend group helps you find someone decent.
I don’t have a friend group. I just have a few old friends that I hang out with once or twice a month
Her hair on his face makes it look like he's grinning.
I don’t know, what do you think?
Same, but not even once or twice a month. No wonder I’m in the situation I’m in.
The people who I would call my friends I see, at most, a few weeks out of the whole year.
I see plenty of people on a regular basis at work and such, but I don't think I'd call any of them more than acquaintances.
God I’m so lonely. I just want people to watch birds and collect bugs with. Also I like soviet films.
This sounds nice, I like birds and movies, but bugs are too scary for me. I'm sorry.
This makes me lose all hope.
This is so terrible, online dating reduces us to numbers, color, height, weight, interests, nobody takes a chance anymore.
We are supposed to live in this sexual liberation, I keep reading novels where characters have all sorts of one night stands, meanwhile I am 27 and can't stop thinking about this guy just because he said something nice in the office kitchen.
>People hardly meet each other through RL stuff anymore. 30% of men and 20% of women aged 18-30 are literal incels according to FamilyStudies, GSS and indipendent surveys.
The annoying thing is all the research on this focuses only on male incels. You'll see the BBC write articles on how studies are looking at average/below average males replacing all social interaction and careers with video games but nobody seems to care what female incels do all day. I guess society doesn't see it as as much of a problem or something.
If a man can't find a girlfriend it is because he is broken somehow. If a woman "chooses" not to have a boyfriend it is because she is liberated. This is what society at large believes anyway.
It totally erases woman who are alone not by choice.
Why do the percentages add up to 120% and 122%? Is there overlap in some of the answers, like coworkers meeting each other in a bar or something?
>>28057>We are supposed to live in this sexual liberation
No, we aren't. And neither should we.>I keep reading novels where characters have all sorts of one night stands
At 27 it's really time to realize that your life shouldn't be modeled after erotic fiction. Most research indicates that most people actually feel bad after one night stands. And that sex with a long-term partner is much more enjoyable and fulfilling.
I wish more people would understand this
It's obviously just a "check all boxes that apply"-type question.
I haven't actually done this myself since I'm not curious enough, but honestly if you're interested in the study, why don't you just click the link that anon posted and find out for yourself? I don't mean that to sound rude btw, but she posted the source for a reason.
It's time to nuke the internet and go back to 1995.>>28061
Because the general consensus is that female incels don't even exist.
According to some people, they should just use Tinder and shag the first guy they match with as if casual sex was something most femcel women wanted.
>>28087>According to some people, they should just use Tinder and shag the first guy they match with
I wonder if, by the same argument, such people would consider hiring a prostitute to be a valid solution for male incels.
My assumption is that for most incels on both sides, it isn't actually about the sex. What they want is a relationship, but "incel" is snappier than "I can't find anyone who is willing to enter a long-term relationship with me and/or am unable to pursue such people due to personal apprehension/mental hangups."
>>28088>it isn't actually about the sex
For female incels it isn't. I've lurked around on a femcel forum and most of them want meaningful relationships, not pump-and-dumps or having casual sex until someone sticks around. But they get told by men to do exactly that and are mocked for using the incel-label because "kek women can get sex anywhere anytime, they're just too picky and only want to fuck Chad".
how do you imagine that things would be if you had a bf?
Where did you tried looking for them?
Wrong … Internet isn't the main problem, social media are in conjunction with other factors >>>/feels/27937
You'd be amazed at how many male incels are, essentially, just hopeless romantics that want meaningful relationships too but can't figure out what they should do. It's hinted at in the OP of this other thread actually >>28067
I was going to respond to that one with something like this. In that case, it's clear that her brother would always be expecting something more (i.e. a relationship instead of a friendship), but he's clueless how to get it. No doubt he's gonna fall into the endless spiral at some point.
Serious question, how cant a woman find a meaningful relationship? Sex is easy but relationships should be even easier, world is filled lonely men, or women.
Of course if you have standards then but then youre not really an involuntarily celibate.
Because these anons are forgetting to mention a very normal assumption, that the meaningful relationship needs to be with someone who meets your standards which a lot of those lonely men don’t, hence why they’re lonely.!
I understand what you mean about being reduced to stats on these apps. at least face to face I could maybe convince a guy to go on a date without giving too much info away right off the bat, but on the app I have to give all this info and sell myself as a person with pics before I even would get a 'yes' swipe.
I want to be honest but no guy wants to read about what a boring bitch I am with my shut in ways, having no hobbies and all my personal issues and hangups. they want 'gym bunny, bikini model, likes partying' or something also while looking gorgeous.
a lot of people honestly believe that when I woman is alone it's her choice. incels always say that every woman can find a guy, and that as long as you're female you can find someone.
this is so true and so infuriating
just have someone to cuddle with and to talk about our day each evening. to take walks together and hold hands, to snuggle into his arm as we walk. to cook together but to also have cute dinner dates out. just to be there for each other and have each other's backs when we need some support. sex is also a big thing, I've spent so many years imagining having loving sex with a boyfriend and then falling asleep in his arms, feeling all warm and satisfied and happy. romantic things really
i always think that it would be nice to have a bf that would comb/brush my hair
most guys are boring too. you just have to find a guy that likes your boring stuff too
>>28088>My assumption is that for most incels on both sides, it isn't actually about the sex. What they want is a relationship, but "incel" is snappier than "I can't find anyone who is willing to enter a long-term relationship with me and/or am unable to pursue such people due to personal apprehension/mental hangups.">>28097>You'd be amazed at how many male incels are, essentially, just hopeless romantics that want meaningful relationships too but can't figure out what they should do.
I think that these statements are very accurate. The majority of "incels" are out of their teenage I-wanna-have-sex-with-every-female-I-see attitude. They want a legit partner.
>>28082> time to realize that your life shouldn't be modeled after erotic fiction.
Pretty sure most people don't wish their life was like erotic fiction and would rather just have one long term affection filled relationship.
If that's an unreasonable expectation then fuck this gay Earth.
When I thing there's no point in envying fictional characters enjoying one night stands.
Or are you a different anon?
>>28098>Of course if you have standards then but then youre not really an involuntarily celibate.
that sounds super cute, anon. someone playing with and brushing your hair can be so relaxing (my mum used to do this for me as a kid) I dream about all those kinds of non sexual forms of intimacy too
I hope one day I can find my boring prince! because tbh every time I read that a guy is into exciting hobbies I always think I have no chance (I'm scared of leaving my comfort zone too much and just want a simple boring life)
>>28050How did you guess my three interests Anon?
Not enough Chads to go around.
Oof, I'm with you anon. I bungled it with one guy last year very obviously because I don't like social events. He was a musician though so I should have known…I learned my lesson there, not all types of artists are similar. A fellow visual artist or a writer would probably be better.>>28135
I can't believe a Chad is now an ethnic turbomanlet with acne.Although I'm not really a trucel either since it's still my pickiness holding me back. Same outcome.
I don't know if I can lower my standards even more. All I want is>not over 40bmi (my bmi is 19 so I think it's fair)>doesn't have bpd>face can be deformed or really ugly, but not to the point it scares me>actually wants to be with me>if he cheats on me, he won't tell me about it>accepts my interests and doesn't expect me to drop them>not older than 40>doesn't have any life-threatening stds
That's it. I want loving ugly bf TT
I'm sure you'll get there eventually, even modest goals can take some time for some people sometimes, so please don't feel like it's hopeless!
Thank you for your kind words anon, but so far it took me 28 years. To be fair, I've only actively searched for 9 years, but still no success. I think some people are just meant to be alone. I don't know.
where are you actively searching?
Hmm, I've tried online dating - Tinder and two other dating sites relevant in my country. I swiped right on everyone who hasn't mentioned "hookups only" in their profile, I've tried to keep the conversation engaging, etc.
I've also asked out my only male friend irl. He wasn't conventionally attractive, but I liked him so much. Unfortunately, he stopped talking to me after the rejection. I've tried to flirt with guys at my work place, but they are either much older than me or very handsome, so they usually shrug me off. I'm really shy and literally autistic so I haven't tried approaching random men on the street, I don't really know what else I can do. Oh, I've also signed up for anime club and book club in my city, but to no avail. I don't know why I can make friends with girls so easily, but getting a male to have one friendly conversation with me seems impossible lol.
Is the same anon that always posts about wanting a manlet bf? Your standards have gotten lower since last time.
Nah, they've always been pretty low. Not as low as this other anon here though, godspeed.
But I am considering chubby boys now so perhaps there is regression. I blame that recurring feeder-chan for memeing me into it though.
Have you made any progress? Like with the turbo manlet you scared off?
Which one lol? It just keeps happening.
The recent one was a guy on plebbit…which kind of died out. He lives across the continent and has all his friends there though so I guess it's for the best.
But I am hopeful to meet a friend of a friend next semester at uni. Never give up.
>>28151>Oh, I've also signed up for anime club and book club in my city, but to no avail
please elaborate… they didn't let you in? it hasn't started yet? there were no men? you couldn't approach anyone?
It seems like you are enjoying my misery anon, but ok lol.
Basically, I was trying to initiate friendly conversation with every ugly male in those clubs. They all ignored me or were visibly uncomfortable. On the other hand, I made lots of new female friends, I still meet up with them sometimes.
Actually I'm a second anon (I have posted here before but not replying to you before last post)
Hmm, that's surprising… maybe they were afraid because they've never had any female attention before? It's just when I've gone to the comic shop for boardgames I definitely attracted unwanted attention unless I went with my bf. I guess every anon's experience is different. Maybe part of the problem, then again, is that anime can be a very introverted hobby… with board games you're basically forced to talk to other people so it's a little different.
I'm honestly feeling a little second hand depressed for you anon… it sounds really sad! I hope you find somewhere to make more male friends. That's really shocking that all of them ignored you so readily…
Maybe this can help: what about asking all your new female friends for single guy help? My friends have met guys through the network like this
Have you tried church or similar religious meetings?
They are intimidated, duh
I don’t believe this is true.
There are very few kind men out there, but honestly I doubt the credibility of that pic.
I'm also suspicious because there are too many dumb guys on the internet thinking any guy posted on a girl's Instagram is her boyfriend and spreading those things as facts.
So I looked her up and found both of their social media. It doesn't seem like they're a couple, more like friends.
I’m not sure dating someone you aren’t attracted to is the only prerequisite to being kind.
you guys are sad. if you really wanna get fucked then download a "dating" app and make it happen. no prince is going to appear out of thin air and be charmed by you. either try for the first time and see where it goes or die without trying.
>>28230>just have meaningless sex and continue being lonely
Listen, I've had the chance to fuck a guy I was attracted to with no strings attached. But despite my incessant carnal yearning, I am a pure maiden.
Then don't complain about being a virgin if that's not the problem.
Why would you just want to get fucked?
I've used tinder. It didn't happen.
just "fucking" does fill a void though. while it's not being loved, it does make u feel that it is possible to be found attractive/hot/sexy/cute which does feel like enough. men are dogs, if tinder doesn't work for u guys then idk what to tell u lmao.
Please tell me you're actually a guy. Or some hot misguided Stacy. Because otherwise it makes zero sense for you to believe
>while it's not being loved, it does make u feel that it is possible to be found attractive/hot/sexy/cute which does feel like enough
ya im a hot stacy >see attached img of megan fox pre-fillers
Let's hypothetically imagine I wanted to find a bf. What should I do? Online dating? Play a MMO? Go to a library!?
I'm not interested in bars and other disgusting normie environments. I'd just like to find a kind and loving life partner.
But I don't know how to meet people. My life is just home to work and vice versa. And I'd rather have a non-normie bf.
You don't meet people because you don't invest the time and effort to meet people. Find a hobby or interest. There will be other people who share that hobby, and you can use events for that hobby to meet people and form friendships based on shared interests. Do volunteer work, group workouts, church activities, mtg drafts, etc. It doesn't matter what you do, but getting out of your comfort zone and meeting new people will help you in more ways than just finding a bf.
Find yourself a hobby that you can do with other people, you'll have something to talk about that way. Or take a language course, I've heard that tourist clubs are also a good option but I don't know if they're a thing in your country
There are also bars/clubs that attract a certain type of people so you can more or less choose who you'll meet but I guess they're not your thing.
I don't know where you're from so I can't write a detailed guide.
Btw categorizing people as "normies" and "not normies" is toxic and stupid, my live has been a lot better since I've quit doing that
>>28260>Btw categorizing people as "normies" and "not normies" is toxic and stupid, my live has been a lot better since I've quit doing that
Sounds like something a normie would say.
No, she's right.
Some people may look and come across like normies, they have normal social lives and jobs and would be considered attractive by many people, but they turn into edgelords on the internet or browse fringe imageboards. The categorization between normie and non-normie is just a farce, a false comfort.
Sounds like the kind of annoying normies who ruin niche internet communities in which they don't belong.
Anyway, what I meant is that I'd find it hard to be with someone that I share essentially nothing with. They don't need to be a shut-in NEET, just someone with personality. Most "normal" people lack that, that's what I meant.
Tease#6261. Add if you wanna vidya or vent.
What vidya do you play?
Just some person wanting friends and asking to share discords to play games with.
I don't get why you only delete the first post and not all the replys.
Maybe she deleted her own post. Requesting Discord contacts isn't against the rules, as far as I can see. It doesn't seem like a mod would've done it.
Anonymous Moderator 28317
I deleted it because it was part of a suspicious post history. I can delete the other posts too if desired. Report your own comment if you want it to be removed, thanks!
turning 21 soon, impulsively ordered 2 sex toys for the first time the other day lmao… i still live with my parents, heres hoping they dont open my mail or go through my room rip
You need some bravery for that, holy shit. I've been thinking about doing the same, but I don't think I could bring myself to it.
Is there any way you can track the orders? I ordered some kinky things
myself while living with my parents and I snatched them right out of the mailbox the instant I got the notification that they arrived.
Do your parents normally open packages addressed to you?
That seems like kind of a dick move.
just use tinder lmao
how hard it is
like, make a profile right now lol
>>28579>lol how is starvation even real>just eat grass and leaves and shit, that's plants right?
This is what you sound like.
They have’t done it recently since I constantly remind them not to and have gotten pissed at them every time they’ve opened my mail in the past, but I’m still cautious. They used to go through my room and search through my things too. Pretty infuriating.
Can't wrap my mind around people who suggest motherfucking Tinder to virgins. Virgins out of all people. I just can't.
>>28581>They used to go through my room and search through my things too
Were they looking for drugs or something, or just being generally nosy? It sounds pretty awful either way.
Could you have installed a lock on your bedroom door? It's usually pretty easy to replace a doorknob.
It might’ve been because I was depressed and they were looking for sharp objects in my room but I also just have the feeling they were being nosy too. Now for privacy I have a combination lock suitcase in my room that I use as a safe and I bring my diary with me everywhere I go since I’d die if they read it.
It’s the quickest fix to their problems, not the best fix.
hi anon ive been wanting a sex toy since forever, more like bravery built up through the years lmao, if you want to order one day make sure you only get silicone/glass/metal for dildos. i guess the advantage of waiting this long is ive read about the terrible things that can happen with cheap materials so be careful>>28569
hi yes i got a tracking number but the threat still looms of them going through my room lmao>>28570
mostly my mother is nosy, she would go through my room under the guise of 'cleaning'(i always keep my room tidy she just rearranges my shit) no clue what shes looking for, i dont use drugs either, shes just always been like that. very frustrating, i dont talk to her about anything in my life as a result lol
>>20740>REEEE WHY WONT A GUY APPRECIATE THAT I'VE HAD NO SEXUAL PARTNERS BEFORE HIM REEE>only caring about money
you're going to live a very boring and shallow life.
Also, who hurt you?
>>20740>OOOOOYYY VEEEYYYYY VIRGINITY BAD DON'T SAVE YOURSELF ALL MENS BAD ONLY MONEY IS USEFULL HAVE SEX AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE
I just find it hard to believe that a female adult virgin who's a virgin for a reason (shyness, mental problems, insecurities stemming from being an adult virgin etc.) would be adventurous and brave enough to use a hookup app for the purpose of finding someone to lose her virginity to.
People just snap sometimes out of loneliness and desperation, especially when they realize their previous strategy wasnt working for them.
Yup. Also >>28579
is right in a way. It’s far from ideal for most people but if you really don’t want to be a virgin anymore you’re all but guaranteed to solve your problem this way. But for most girls it’s not just about sex, or even about sex at all. It should be someone special.
And that causes the trap of overthinking it and overcoming shyness, etc. And so it goes.
Both of these.
We're in a virginity thread and not a femcel one. I think most girls itt are some level of volcel or "emcel" (but still virgins) as the boys are saying these days.
Yeah, I made this thread with the intention of talking about being a virgin in general. I don't think it should be given for the sake of losing it, but at the same time I don't think it should be something to revere. I'm uncomfortable around men, and I'm still trying to come to terms with my sexuality. But at the same time, it makes me feel like I should've hit this milestone awhile ago like most of my friends.
I used tinder once for shits and giggles but was advised by others who had awful experiences not to use it seriously.
Got a josei manga I’d like to recommend to you all - Kyou wa Kaisha Yasumimasu. It’s about a 30+ virgin woman getting a boyfriend for the first time. There are some elements of it that makes me roll my eyes (like the protagonist suddenly becoming more attractive with her glasses off, like in a teen movie - she also doesn’t look anywhere near 30), but overall, it’s a really nice read and fun to live vicariously through. The insecurities that the main character feels as she goes through her first relationship feel all too real.
There’s a J-drama too, but haven’t gotten around to watching it yet.
Chad won't ever come around, face it. Go date transbians and incels lol
I am 29 and never had sex or a boyfriend. I'm not asexual or religious or anything and I've had interest from guys, I just never felt a strong desire for sex or intimate relationships. I fantasize about it sometimes but the reality is not for me.
I asked a guy out two weeks ago for an event next friday, he hasn't contacted me yet since that day, I like him, but he's a jerk for not showing interest in me after I asked him out.
What do you think I should do if he doesn't hit me up in the next couple of days? or am I just overthinking this?
>>28652>I'm not asexual>I just never felt a strong desire for sex
What makes you think you aren't asexual?
>>28658>he's a jerk for not showing interest in me
It's definitely a jerk move to not respond in some way, but I think you're setting yourself up to be let down if you expect a yes from literally everyone you ask out.
Are you sure he's seen the message and isn't just an airhead who doesn't stay on top of correspondence?
Did he acknowledge your proposal at all? If someone goes two weeks without responding then either he doesn't care and is just ghosting you, or he didn't get it in the first place
You could give him the benefit of the doubt and probably just follow up and confirm his disinterest, the worst he'll say is "No"
I would love to date a transbian (if they don't plan to get bottom surgery that is) or an "incel". The problem is, even they don't want me.
Why would you think they don't exist? Are you even female?
I'm so confused right now.
It's always hard to tell in these cases…
But, I think men deal with this kind of thing too. Reminds me of that movie "the 40 year old virgin". Even though we on the internet get more exposed to "incels", you have to remember that for normies, being a virgin past a certain age is unthinkable no matter your sex.>>28675
You don't want to date an incel. You might be okay with dating someone shy, ugly, or socially awkward. But if someone describes themselves as "incel" it means their personality has turned nasty.
Well, I do masturbate and find guys sexually attractive.
i would disagree, your first time will be a bit awkward and embarassing despite your best efforts (if you're like me or anyone else) simply because you won't /really/ know what to do
this is why i would recommend practice before your wedding night if you truly wanted to make it the best experience
I think one problem in the incel discourse is that no one agrees on what the term should denote. For some, “incel” refers to a young man indoctrinated in a particular school of extreme misogyny by imageboards; for others, “incel” just means a lonely person with an unfulfilled desire for intimacy.
It doesn’t matter: that label is permanently tainted. A normal person will react with bewilderment, bemusement, or outright mockery towards the subject. Celibacy isn’t agreed on either even though there’s literally a textbook definition for it.
I agree with this anonette… there was a time when incel didn't have anger associated with it, but that time has passed. I would say that if there was just a lonely, unfulfilled boy/man he would call himself a virgin, or even a KHV, not an incel. Like how we have a "virgin thread" separate from the "femcel thread".
Someone could, in genuine naivety of the internet, see the words "involuntary celibate" and say, "Oh, that sounds like me." But I do not think an outsider would call someone an incel unless they exhibited the traits of being 'redpilled'.
I don't remember "incel" but i remember all the wizard memes and people kinda owned up to it whether it was voluntary or not.
Like the idea of a celibate lifestyle was not associated inherently with hating the other gender or some political faction or any kind of ideological "pill" mentality towards the world, there was no more baggage to it, it was merely acknowledging that yes, some people are kv virgins forever.
You know, images like this - while funny - really caused me a great deal of stress when I was still a virgin. It made me feel like there was something wrong with me, or I was abnormal.
I got it for my first time at 20. The "point of no return" here, and went on to have a pretty regular sex life.
What I've learned is that
A) Sex is good but overblown. It does get better with time and experience, but don't expect it to be something radically different from masturbation. In the end, and orgasm is an orgasm.
B) People are doing this way less than you're thinking. I don't even know how much of the "hookup culture" is real, maybe it's one of those top 1% getting as much as the bottom 50% kind of deals.
C) Putting your life on track like this - sex by age X, married by age Y, house by age Z - it just sets you up for failure or WORSE, makes you try to fit the wrong guy into your life just so you can hit these goals.
Relax your shoulders everyone. This is something to go after, but not something to focus on.
It's a joke image at every single stage and you shouldn't have assumed any of it was correct. Also it's aimed at a male audience who, according to the Kinsey Institute, tend to lose their virginity sooner than women on average. While the joke chart presents 17 as "getting up there", 17.3 years is the average age for women 17.0 for men (Source: CDC).
>>28768>I got it for my first time at 20. The "point of no return" here, and went on to have a pretty regular sex life.
That's because the chart was never intended to apply to women.
How ugly are you ladies that you’re not getting bfs? I’ve been told I’m like a 6/10 by my girlfriends and I had a bf at 19.
I'm not ugly I'm just an asshole.
Just wait to marry. If it's genuine and meant to be he will respect that, and you don't have to worry about your own shame.
Regardless, God has forgiven you when he sent his son on the cross. We might strive to uphold virtue, but we all fall short of the glory of God.
I have an unsettling birth defect which brings down my appearance. Without that, maybe 6/10.
What sort of defect? I'm intrigued.
Oops, just saw your post now. I’m missing part of my eye. Doesn’t affect my vision surprisingly (had it checked out by doctors), but definitely looks “off”.
>>28892>I’m missing part of my eye>Doesn’t affect my vision surprisingly
Is it just a small chunk of the sclera that's missing/dented, or what? I imagine if any of the pupil/iris was missing it'd mess with your ability to focus at different distances, and if enough of the sclera was missing to make it no longer spherical I'd assume it'd make it quite a nuisance to move the eye around.
One can buy all kinds of contact lenses for changing eye features, even ones that cover the whole eye, sclera and all. Have you considered using something like that to mask the defect?
Calling yourself ugly but also 6/10 is just rude. Then what do you call someone 5/10 or less, so hideous you have to vomit?
Had to look at some eye diagrams to see what you’re talking about, but I think it’s part of my cornea that’s missing (not the white part of the eye, and not the pupil at the center of the eye). My eyeball does not look spherical.
Circle lenses would probably work for me, but I guess I just have a visceral reaction against putting things in my eyes. I wear glasses usually (unrelated to the issue above) and never made the move to contact lenses. One day, maybe.
>>28895>I think it’s part of my cornea that’s missing (not the white part of the eye, and not the pupil at the center of the eye)
So it's like the very front part of your eye looks dented/flat instead of rounded? I feel like that wouldn't be terribly noticeable, given the cornea's completely clear. Or by "not white part, not pupil" did you mean the colored iris?
Sorry if this is too intrusive, I just find it interesting.
No worries. I just don’t know my eye terminology that well (would probably give you a better answer if I dug up my childhood medical papers).
I don’t think it’s the cornea then, because it’s the colored part that’s missing a chunk. Basically the colored part of my eye looks kind of like pic related solar eclipse - not round and missing a part.
>>28898>the colored part of my eye looks kind of like pic related solar eclipse
Something like this?
Kind of, but for me, the circled black/dark part is white instead (and the part affected is bigger).
I’m thirsty as fuck. Even at work, I have to fight the urge to jump my male coworker. Trying my best to be subtle about appreciating the muscles on his forearms under his dress shirt, but I know I’m not subtle at all. We accidentally brushed against one another and I felt like I was going to die.
Summer’s been rough.
iktf anon, I've come alarmingly close to just fondling/groping guys in public. If I had any less self control I'd be fucked (not in the good way).>forearm muscles under his dress shirt
Other contenders: Bending over so you see their undies, seeing the outline of pectorals under a thin rayon shirt, big tank tops during the summer when the occasional slip happens.
Stay strong, friend. I'm with you.
you girls know whats up, my eyes are like magnets any slip of skin (stretching and you see their stomach, bending forward and you see their back) my eyes are instantly glued to it. i want a boyfriend so fucking bad lmao
find a boy who’s emotionally a sub if you want a cute relationship
>mfw I'm a 28 year old virgin
I can't take this anymore. The loneliness sucks, my life sucks, everything sucks. It especially hurts when I see other people together while out ib public and here I am alone.
>>29310>It especially hurts when I see other people together while out ib public and here I am alone
I wonder how it feels to have a man whisper in your ear, to feel his stubble rub up against you. It must feel so good.
I have had 3 boyfriends, and only 1 had a beard. His beard was not a firm stubble like you imagine, but a feathery kind of ticklish beard. It's softer than you probably expect.>>29310
I was handholdless until 24. I started my current relationship (of over one year) when I was 28. It's never too late.
thanks for the recc anon, I'll check it out!
I don't think I'm ugly. I'm just a hermit and literally know no men other than relatives, neighbours that kind of thing. I have no social life so I don't get to meet men. also no friends lmao
sounds dreamy, anon. I hope both you and I get to experience this sooner rather than later
Same situation honestly (my looks are pretty plain though). Trying to put myself out there more.
What do you think about the idea of losing your virginity through casual sex, especially if you’re an older virgin (late-20s here)?
I wouldn't do it with a random hookup, but I would pay a male prostitute for it. If it's gonna be a stranger I'd rather do it with someone whose job would be to please me.
For me, as I get older, the appeal of losing it in casual sex only diminishes.
It wasn't particularly appealing to begin with though anyway.
Nah, I've had the chance but wouldn't. I understand why some find it appealing though.
But as I get older I do consider women more…which is funny since my first crush was a girl so I guess I'm going full circle.
everyone who has done that says they regret it, so I personally wouldn't
Is it better to lose your virginity to someone who’s sexually experienced or to another virgin?
>>29889>asking virgins which way is better for losing virginity
Experienced. If both of you are clueless you might not know how to deal with complications, get scared, and quit halfway through.
But the true answer is "someone who loves you".
To another virgin.
A sexually experienced guy would make me feel inadequate. I couldn't get it up (mentally).
But with another virgin? Well, practice makes perfect and there's a wealth of information about sex available on the internet. The problem is finding a virgin guy around my age and trusting that he's not lying about his virginity status.
>>29899>I couldn't get it up (mentally)
Nta but I imagine the female equivalent is probably "not getting it wet."
How am I male lmao? It can happen because of performance anxiety, right (vaginismus)? I was just guessing that's what she meant.
I realize some women can't overcome it/barely self-lubricate even if they're turned on and comfy though. So it isn't quite
I meant not getting into the mood for sex. Sorry for wording it weirdly.
>tfw don't fukken know what my sexuality is
>tfw can't have sex until i figure myself out
gdi why is this so hard
i'm almost 20 and i see younger kids who already have it all figured out, i feel left behind
It's not a race. Everyone matures in different ways at different rates.
dude, im 30 and still a virgin and i dont care
>>29914>tfw don't fukken know what my sexuality is>tfw can't have sex until i figure myself out
Girl I fucking feel that
How hard is it to figure out if you're normal (straight) or mentally ill (anything else)?
Be honest to any guy that messages you
eventually you'll find someone that will pity fuck you
Now you know what sex is
Use this newfound knowledge to get on with your fucking life
This works for both guys and gals, in case you're wondering
>”someone who loves you”
I hope we all find that person someday ;_;
Too many risks involved for a woman:
>get pregnant because he's an asshole who pulls of his condom without your knowledge>get STDs because he's a male slut>he's a virgin slayer and losing your virginity to him only strengthens his filthy ego>get secretly filmed, video lands on xh*mster, have to commit sudoku>get used as a cum rag, feel like shit and can't get on with life
Why can't I be homosexual?
lol fuck, 3 hours later and I've only now noticed that I replied to the wrong post.
Meant to reply to >>29938
You care too much, you'll never get laid.
any other 22yo KHHV in this bish?
Yea thinking about giving up my lil' pussy to my BF sp
Still no bf. Although one boy ("boy" as in freshly 18 whew) approached me last week my intense personality turned him off. It's always this way.
If you're so intense then why aren't you doing the approaching?
what is intense personality code for? sounds bad
Oops, didn't mention the 6 times I did approach men within the last year.
One I made so afraid his hand was sweaty and he rushed away into the bathroom to get away from me. The others were attracted enough for one date but then decided against it.
Tip: don't cold approach introverted nerds if you are bigger than them and have an ominous presence.>>30075
Overly blunt and openly pessimistic.
More tips: don't mention your dead father or the genocide of Indigenous people too soon. Also don't even HINT at mild misanthropy.
You're the manlet hunter miner aren't you ?
You'll find the special one someday, I believe in you.
I fucked up, anons. I told my coworkers while drunk that I’m a kv. To be fair, we were talking about dating and we’re generally ok with talking about personal topics. Should I commit sudoku now? I don’t know how I can face these people on Monday.
It's true. I left for a month but have returned.
On another note, the guy who approached me actually sent me a message today. I think he was intending to ask me to see our school's basketball game casually. He did say that he feared being too blunt with me (which is hilarious).
He's very cute but kind of distant…I'm glad I didn't frighten him too much.
Do you think they'll make fun of you or harass you over it?
No I don’t think so, but I think they would start getting awkward around me and not want to hang out as much because they think I’m a loser.
I don't know your friends, but judging from my experience you're probably overreacting a bit. If you don't do anything really weird or socially unacceptable, they'll probably forget all about it.
I hope you’re right anon. Going to just try to act natural tomorrow. They’ve shared a lot of personal things with me too, and nothing has changed between us.
Good luck, we're pulling for you.
I think losing your virginity to another virgin sounds super sweet and romantic but at my age I think I'd rather it be with someone experienced. I'm almost 30 and I imagine I will (if?) I lose my virginity it'll be to someone experienced simply cause of my age and not really being attracted to younger guys
You are in no position to be giving "tips"
>>30089>Overly blunt and openly pessimistic. >More tips: don't mention your dead father or the genocide of Indigenous people too soon. Also don't even HINT at mild misanthropy.
If you are attractive enough you could say that you like to break puppies necks for fun and moids will find it quirky and cute. Everyone like an akward nerdy girl, as long as she looks like Zoe Deschannel and not like a real socially stunted person with non canon physique.
I know what not
to do, which is still knowledge. It took some fool being bitten by a snake for us to know it's a bad idea to provoke them.>>30153
Yeah, maybe if I was an 8 instead of a 5-6 saying these things they wouldn't care. But it's not worth it for them.
Is anyone else a virgin with STDs? There are some STDs that you can contract without having sex.
I have the herpes virus/cold sores since I was a kid, but I’m a kissless virgin. It’s such a joke.
I’m a khv so I don’t think it’s an STD but I have pretty bad acne on my pubic area that looks like an STD
kissless handholdless virgins
I feel like I have a lot of mental baggage regarding sex.
I haven’t slept with anyone for the reasons stated above (want to actually know and trust and maybe even find the guy attractive) as well as a long time of just deadass thinking that I was asexual. I well and truly did not find the idea of PiV appealing in any way for a loooooong time, kind of upsetting in fact. I was really grossed out and threatened because whenever I would say that I didn’t want sex, everyone (not boyfriends, never had a boyfriend, just people I mentioned it to) would give me the “YOU’LL GIVE IN SOME DAY” line, and that just made everything worse.
One of the first scenarios I imagined where I thought that maybe I wasn’t completely asexual after all was femdom/gfd related stuff. I really am into that on a mental level, but I feel like who I am and where I am in life don’t line up with what I want to be. I want to be Cool Sensual Adult Lady, but I feel like I’m too neurotic and my natural sex drive is too weak. I’m not sure if that means I can’t be a Real Top, or if that just means I’m human and can’t live up to fanfiction standards.
I’m sure that vanity comes into this a fair bit because I don’t want to be found a novice, but when I think of what I thought of sex as being in my ‘ace’ years, it still turns me off. I think it had a lot to do with me being really put off by gender role stuff and power imbalances. Since sex is supposed to be about doing something that feels good in a way that lines up with the part of your brain that wants things, I think I was really disturbed by the idea of being steamrolled by someone overpowering, making it like a really invasive coercion. Add a deathly fear of pregnancy on top of that, and we have just a small slice of my overall relationship neuroticism.
017 - 016.png
Thought this was interesting. From this manga, here are the average ages for first sexual experiences for men and women in Japan.
I should start up my mission to try and find a guy to lose my virginity to but I'm really in a slump at the minute. I don't feel up to even making eye contact with men while I'm engaging in all these bad habits. I've been eating very poorly and my acne is pretty bad and my IBS is playing up. I actually look like shit from all the junk food. I'm in no position to be trying to snag a cutie.
do any other anons here constantly tell themselves 'I'll look for love once I've done X thing' (like lose weight or learn to apply makeup well) or make themselves desirable enough to actively engage with men they're attracted to?
I've been procrastinating in this way, making attempts to improve myself and make myself dateable/fuckable and failing over and over for years. it ties in closely to being a perfectionist and wanting to be 'just right' before I try and get a bf. it's also become the excuse to never leave my comfort zone (until I'm ready). it's become a way of life. but as the saying goes 'if you wait until you're ready you'll be waiting forever' and as a 29 year old virgin I know this is true but still I do this……….
sorry for the tl;dr I just needed to vent
i am exactly the same ive lost weight (but still fat) but i feel exactly the same, and my face is ugly (not saying for pity, am actually ugly) and i cant really change the face i was born with. i really want my first kiss and sexual experience to be with someone i love but at this point i feel like i should try and download tinder or something, im pretty lonely (i dont have friends either) so i guess eventually ill be desperate enough to feel loved that ill just fuck whoever>tfw no qt submissive khv bf to love tenderly
im 20 and i dont want anyone inside of me
I can absolutely relate to this, but for me it's always education/career oriented. I've never had issues with my weight or appearance.
Nothing wrong with virginity. It makes you more valuable to the guy who's waiting for you out there.
This. And make that “young and attractive”. Someone who’s a virgin because they’re too unattractive is not “valuable”.
I want to say this even if its not the rule of thumb with men. My actual boyfriend is two years younger im 25 i was terrified abiut him knowing that i was still a virgin and he clearly had experience under his belt. Long storyshort he told me that it doesnt bottered him at all and even contemolated the idea of making my first time very special (as he did) instead of tuning me down for that.
Sure. Only if a man makes himself more valuable by also being a virgin and not masturbating to porn constantly. Virgin men like to pretend they're pure but they bust a load to violent and disgusting porn frequently and also have violent and disgusting fantasies.
Not sure if this is the right place to post this, but there’s no “kissless virgin” thread, so here goes.
I feel like I’m making too big of a deal over my first kiss, and it’s honestly holding me back in my love life. I have oneitis over this guy who’s unattainable and always have a glimmer of hope in me that my first kiss could be with him. In reality, it’s very unlikely.
I’ve never gone out on a second date with a guy because of this. I always chicken out because it might result in a kiss, and I can’t stop the little voice in my head saying “what if” about my oneitis crush. I’m an older kv and this guy is the first guy I’ve ever been interested in, so that built up some undue importance in him and in my first kiss.
How do I get over this? How can I see that a first kiss is not a big deal at all?
Read the bible and go to church you'll meet a guy with your exact thinking and you'll be happy.