blah blah max capacity blah
every relationship I've been in I've been abused in some way, sexually, emotionally, physically, whatever. I'm actually in love for the first time but i spend a lot of time crying because sometimes I can't work out if he's being emotionally abusive or it's just my insane anxiety/ptsd flaring up. I'm fucking sick of it and I really just want to die. I feel like I can't even explain it to him either incase he breaks up with me. It's fucking horrible. sdjkafhhjksfdsdfkhjsdkfnjdsfakljn
I was basically the therapist for someone I added on discord who turned out to be a batshit /r9k/ stalker. Like, I spent five months consoling someone who just wanted to be mollycoddled. This is my theme.
Life is too long, it's boring. Can I just die when I hit 30? There are no opportunities to seek 10, 20 years from now, my life is stagnant and it won't change. I can't change it, and even if I try I'll be left behind anyway.
>>27562>no "vent" in OP>can't into crosslinking
You'll do better next time, OP.
>>27596>There are no opportunities to seek 10, 20 years from now, my life is stagnant and it won't change. I can't change it
sounds like you never tried, its easier to just exist and let things play their course, you have no controll over your own life
Why does every male party? I've only met one who doesn't and he still wanted to but was just anxious. And all my male friends are dweebs too (vidyafags, play dnd, watch anime, etc.).
I'm socially capable and confident but interaction with large amounts of people in a chaotic non-customer service environment just doesn't benefit me. Yet it seems very few men are like this; truly introverted.
Anecdotal evidence is showing me that men are the more social ones…
I was helping my parents clean up a house they rent out to students. the students had left all kinds of evidence of their fun party lifestyle and it made me sad because Im a student too but I dont do any of the things they do :(
For males parties are only really places to meet and fuck women. Having fun is just an added benefit for them.
I find this is true for young men and women. it seems like everyone in uni drinks and parties. even in "nerd" subjects
Getting drunk is fun, drunken soul to soul convos are one of my favorite things ever.>>27607
Eh, work and clubs are a thing
Because it’s fun? Women like partying too.
Where the fuck do I find people
like me then? tbf I guess I can't really speak for women either since I…somehow have no female acquaintances.
My personality is fucked in that I hate things like that (no appeal to me for drinking, going wild, or being promiscuous) but I'm not comfy as a complete recluse. I want a partner so badly it hurts.
So my options are to kys myself or just cope by becoming a complete moralfag and looking down on you "degenerate" normal people, huh?
I'm just too sspeeeciaaalll I guess. Fuck you all.
Unless you plan on falling in love with your postman or somebody from discord you need to go outside. Maybe pursue hobbies where you are mainly on your own and sometimes meet people. Hiking for example, its also good for your (mental) health
I do and I've met several men this past school year just in classes, I'm just not a drunken partyfag and they all are. 1 wasn't (which was hilarious because out of all of them he looked
the most normie) but he was noncommittal and fuck that.
They do other hobbies of course (even solo ones), but everyone gets wasted at least twice a year and takes part in orgies or whatever you're all doing lmao.
Seems hopeless so I'm venting. I'm probably going to go lift some weights and cry.
You dont need to go to parties to get drunk with friends and we mostly dont have orgies either
I just listened to a podcast about "pluralistic ignorance" and as an example of what it is, they mentioned college drinking. It looks
like everyone drinking but you're not seeing the silent majority of people who just sit in their dorm room doing other things!
Not everyone parties 24/7, and not everyone is into clubs/bars. Just talk to people to see who you click with and tell them you’re not interested in parties if it comes up.>>27621
Also they don’t seem like the partying type if they’re only getting wasted twice a year tbh
Anon you're pretty damn stupid. Like I dont even know what else to say besides everything I read from you so far has made me lose brain cells. You're incredibly judgemental and you assume people who like nerd hobbies hide away in their room their entire life and dont socialize and interact which is just completely wrong. Based on the sole fact in order to do any of that you need to get out and socialize to participate. Also stop being a shallow judgemental dummy. You are so focused on yourself you dont realize that everyone else is wrong but maybe you are in this case. Going out twice a year to a gathering where people getting smashed isnt the same as participating in an orgy. You are very close minded and have no idea how people actually act outside of shut-in memes that are basically outright lies or a dramatization of a social group that you arent interacting with.
its not judgemental to not want to associate with people who party, its just acknowledging you have nothing in common with them. other people can do what they want, I just want nothing to do with them (not her btw just agree with her)
>>27604>why haven't I met a man who doesn't enjoy socializing, via socializing
The high-functioning introverts you're talking about tend to wear a mask when you meet them in like, a store or something, so you wouldn't necessarily know it at first glance or even from talking to them for a bit.
If you're not interested in introvert-standard hobbies like videogames, tabletop, anime, etc, then you're pretty much just tossing darts as far as whether any specific guy will have that personality type.
And I feel like introverts are on the less common side as a whole, so your odds are unfortunately not great.
People who go to parties twice a year arent partiers. Like I dont drink, dance do any of that dumb shit but I'll go with my friends to a shitty party just to get out of the house just to hang out with my friends because at some point we will break away from the party and hang out as a group. I'll hate it the entire time and play phone games and shit but I'll wait it out until I get to the part I enjoy.
Very close minded to think because someone attends a party they are going to orgies, getting black out drunk and doing all this typic normie meme shit that shut-ins meme about as if they understand people at all while not interacting with people. Its dumb, you cant argue that because you're using a broad generalization that doesnt fit everyone who attends parties including twice a year??? Like what???? How does that say partier to you, you are being xenophobic to someone who you could get along with if you just took the time to get to know the person.
It takes a different sort of person to even want to party 2-3 times a year. My best friend does that (I love him regardless he's great) and our dispositions are clearly different that way, we 100% wouldn't be comfortable in a relationship. For other reasons too, but I know ths would be uncomfortable. Me dragging him down and him going wild even occasionally? Resentment would build.>>27626
The orgies thing was a hyperbolic joke, sorry if I wasn't too clear. I was aggressive otherwise so I can see why you'd assume I was just being an autist lmao.
I know not all nerds are cloistered in their rooms; like I said all my friends are nerds and are mad outgoing. And I don't hate them for it, it just disheartens me that I'll most likely never be able to romantically connect with anyone like me.>no idea how these things actually go
My best friend has told me some unsavoury stories, enough that I know this scene is not
for me. Witnessing people getting smashed and out of control would indeed upset me, the orgy comparison was sort of supposed to dramatize the stress it would cause. The way a regular normfag may feel about that is how I feel about parties.
I also just…hate crowds, so why would I like crowds with alcohol at night?
Also basically what >>27628
said. I just know myself.>>27629>If you're not interested in introvert-standard hobbies
I watch cartoons/some weebshit and I'm an artfag, if those count. I mean, here I am on a basketweaving forum.
Honestly…I don't feel any more hope after all this, but I feel less upset anyway.
I'm a high functioning introvert and I dont even want to hang out with another one because they all do this bullshit. You just get shit on by them before you get a chance to know them and I'm tired of getting shit on by assholes who think they know me because I'll put up with normie trash now and again. It's awful and this isnt the first person to act this way that I've met. I'd rather deal with normies who brag about getting sex and just question why I dont want to do as much as them. They just learn to accept it and make a meme about you and how you need your hide away time.
>>27630>>27632>I'll hate it the entire time>put up with normie trash
Okay, I didn't mean to imply people like you don't exist. Sorry if I hurt you, anon. We're all hurting now.
But…why go if it's even 60% miserable? My pals are similar in that they do those things but I simply don't go with them. We have lunch or coffee or we chat over discord since they include that in their Sphere of Fun Social Activity and that's all that I enjoy. Like going to a vegan restaurant because your friend is vegan and hey, all food is yummy food to you.
I don't hate partyfags, though it may seem that way. I just wouldn't date them.
Wouldn't date a bodybuilder either.
someone who parties twice a year is still too much of a partier for me>>27633>Wouldn't date a bodybuilder either.>not wanting a juicy powerlifter bf who is also an autistic weeb
/fit/ is just incels. I dont want an incel bf :(
But I'm working to become a juicy powerlifter myself.
I just want a tiny bf, which of course narrows my dating pool even more. I know more petit men than I do non-partygoers though lmao.
I hate how /feels/ is like the only active board on this site.
Can't you girls find other things to post about than relationships failed or otherwise.
I hate how even on a board filled with women I still don't fit in.
this is the venting thread, I think you're lost
What would you like to talk about more? I've tried posting more on /media/ before, but threads die off because the media I'm into doesn't have enough viewership/is not popular enough to sustain enough conversation with such a small userbase.
lolcow's /ot/ and /media/ may interest you more? It's busier but still female.
Anyway, this site is segregated so we can talk about things we don't want to talk to men about. Oftentimes that's /feels/, man hate, fashion, and biology.
If you want to talk about physics or how to start a farm you don't need it to be female-only, thus those discussions are outsourced to other chans.
Honestly it's difficult to tell it's a vent thread because OP did such a shit job of it.
Because I realize that I'm an outlier and while I dont enjoy some things if I want social interaction sometimes it means doing things I dont like to get what I want. Just like with a job or anything else in life. I cant always do things for myself and expect people to bend to my will to do things I like.
Reading the posts about parties confirms my idea that I'm not an introvert by choice, but a sheltered extrovert without social skills. I think that going out/going to parties is one of the best ways to spend your free time.
Not really, that's pretty much a vent. I've realized that straight females into sci-fi and who have given up on real life are a ridiculous minority. And I can't talk to guys on other chans about the fictional guys I find attractive.>>27641
/ot/ is just random crap, and their /media/ is barely any more active than this site.
Pretty much the only boards that are active here is /feels/ and /b/. Nobody even really uses /hb/.
>>27647>can't always expect people to bend to my will
And this is actually why I don't want a party bf, we'd be doing that to each other.
I hope you can understand where I'm coming from, I understand you too now. Kind of made an ass of myself initially but I really just am seeking a healthy relationship.>>27649
Now that I've started this I'm wondering what makes one become introverted or extroverted.
Two of the people I've know who have a similar disposition to myself were both only children, and so am I.
Do you have siblings, anon? And anon who begrudgingly goes for her friends, what about you?
It's definitely not absolute since I've known only kids who are outgoing, but perhaps it increases likelihood?
I'm an extrovert who thought I was an introvert because I used to suck at socializing. I'm someone who gets recharged by being around people and being alone makes me tired and wears me out. Having siblings made me retreat to solitude because they used to antagonize me when we were kids.
Just sci-fi in general.
Other women always seem to be more interested in real life dramas or trashy teen shows or vampires. Or even worse their into reality tv or don't care about entertainment at all or think video games/anime is the devil.
If it's just general I'm sure there exist fan communities online. Make a tumblr/twitter and search the tags for whatever you like, or explore fanfiction.
Fanfic writers are overwhelmingly women in my experience, and many fanartists are female.
Also: go to a convention. I go to one in my small ass town and there are tons of dumpy ladies who seem genuinely into nerd shit. I say dumpy since I generally am suspicious of hot costhots.
So the realistic alternative would be if this guy does it twice a year, you can afford to have a night alone. You are dating not married anon, and even people who do that, by their late 20's they are sick of that shit for the most part.
Like I don't expect my S/O to come with me to my board game nights. While it's nice to do a lot together and junk, it isn't mandatory to do everything together if you have a good thing with each other. My point being keep your options open when it comes to dating, I'm not saying going after a fratt guy whose partying every week, but it seems like you can meet some decent people, but expecting to find other high functioning introverts with the attitude of "well, he did a thing I didn't like, he's a filthy normie." won't get you super far because high functioning introverts do all of that normie shit to keep up appearances once in a great while because they are aware to keep their social standing and for people to keep inviting them to stuff they gotta show up and show some effort that they want to participate. And good luck finding shut-ins if you want to go that route.
I guess point is, don't close doors because they do one thing that seems normie and you wouldn't do including if it's scarce like twice a year. You could be passing on someone really neat.
I'm not either of them, but I'd consider myself an introvert and I was an only child, at least for the first 6 or 10 years of my life. Can't quite remember.
After that I had step siblings that I was around constantly, though I wouldn't say I particularly cared for them.
Maybe the issue is that I'm expecting a relationship like my parents have. They're both introverted (but functioning enough to work and mingle when passing coworkers on the street) and spend all their free time together. They go out, sometimes to artsy events or just for long walks, but it's always with one another.
And I'm fine/into going to fuckin poetry nights, art galleries, and conventions, those social events are my idea of a good time even if they also exhaust me a little. Just no hard parties. Even a chill get together (which I've attended) is okay. Tiring, but okay.
Anyway I've thought about this some and realized I'm best off meeting a guy online actually. I'll continue gambling on men irl but I know that's my best bet. >>27654>>27656>>27662
Thx for answers.
Good luck to you, look up some stuff about online dating. Go into it prepared, I've done my fair share and a lot of people enjoy lying and using the internet as a coping mechanism when their real life romantic life isn't going so well. They will bail on you immediately when they get their shit together in real life. I've had that happened to me quite a few times now.
>>27401>he ghosted me
You mean he just… hasn't responded yet? You made it sound in your first post like you'd never spoken with him before. Or do you mean you had a short conversation and then he stopped responding?>since I asked a lot of questions
I don't think bombarding a stranger with personal questions makes a very good first impression. I don't want to be too harsh here, but you might have come across as a creepy/crazy person, unless I'm missing something.
I don't know what to do.
In 2 weeks I will write my final exam and as somebody who's already anxious on a normal basis, I'm of course super scared about it.
Now my mother told me that they plan to go to vacation the days before and the day of my exam, asking me if I'd prefer them not going.
I told her that I of course can't and don't want to stop them, but that I would prefer not having to be alone the evening before since I'm likely a crying mess.
Now my mother said they won't go, but she's also pissed at me. I told her that I don't want her to be angry at me, that they should go if she wants that so much, because now I feel guilty over having ruined their vacation and I can't exactly concentrate on studying when she's angry at me. But then she told me that I always say everything is her fault and that I always try to guilttrip her? But, I am the one feeling guilty right now? Why ask for my opinion if you only accept one answer?
She constantly does this, being angry at me, never relenting no matter how often I apologize and always making herself out to be the grand victim who sacrifices things for my sake - even if I never asked for any of that in the first place.
I'm not some type of master manipulator, I only said how I honestly feel about it.
She sounds narcissistic, asking for your preferences and retaliating when the answer is the one she didn't want. Consider spending a few nights at a friend's place before D-Day to cope with your anxiety regardless of whether your mother stays or leaves. Maybe also think about therapy after exams since this issue has undertones of co-dependency, and your issues with your mother warrant it. Then again this is unsolicited advice from an online stranger. Good luck, Anon! Hope you pass.
How old are you? College-aged? If so, it's perfectly reasonable for your parents to leave you alone.
I'm starting to realize I'm getting too old to find friends in my usual places or even a possible boyfriend. I've been feeling extra lonely and I think I've finally recoverd from what feels like my 50th attempt at finding someone but I realize I'm just slowly getting older the more time passes and I don't know. Those dating apps are for people younger then me now and I really don't know where else to turn. I want to internet date, but after so many flopped attempts it seems like the people I'd really match with would never date online. I feel like I'm slowly going towards a dead end that ends up me being alone for the rest of my life.
And with these bad feels, I keep seeing that adorable owl on the first page and I love them and I want to pet them and care for them, but I don't have the heart to take care of owls since I gotta feet them cute mice friends and mice don't deserve that life to only live to be food for owl. I want them to have a nice comfy long life too.
Owls aren't suitable to be pets anyway, Anon. The mice are the least of your problems.
Neither are raccoons but people make those cute little trashies work. Let alone ferrets of all things. I mean what else am I gonna have in life? I can't have fur based pets and I'm not the most fond of reptiles/lizards/sneks. All I got is birds or fish, and I'll lean towards birds and owls are neato birds!
>>27845>Neither are raccoons but people make those cute little trashies work.
No they don't. They don't work at all. Wild animals don't belong into homes, period. Raccoons and owls are not domesticated, period. I don't care if the animal behaves well enough not to be rehomed, but it's never going to be a domesticated pet and the exotic pet trade is a fucking travesty. The only reasonable exception is caring for unreleasable rehab animals.
>Owls are neato birds!!
Yep. And they should be free. They're not toys for you because a dog or a cat doesn't work for you. Get into wildlife rehabilitation then if you want to be around wild animals so badly instead of supporting an absolutely shit-tier exploitative market.
Okay well first off, very rude to assume I'm just going to support scumbaggery illegal exotic animal trade. That's top thing that comes to mind. Secondly I can love animals and want to care and nurture them without actually committing and caring for them. And I will die on the hill that raccoons are actually becoming retroactively domesticated, at least urban raccoons are. They have taken on a totally different personality profile compared to their wild counter part and I believe they could be a pet similar to how Egyptians broke cheetahs long ago as hunting companions. Raccoons can totally be pets, but they also would be too much of a pain in the ass for most owners. People dump bunnies after they realize they can't just drop them into their home and ignore it for hours on end in a cage and wonder why it doesn't act like a dog where it loves them or actively seek them for attention and approval.
I know a decent amount about animals, and if, and that's a real big IF I ever decided to get an owl, it would have been as you said an animal injured in the wild that can no longer survive outside in the wild but was rescued. But I also understand a lot of money goes into properly taking care of such animals and knowledge I don't have at the moment. I do have a heart you know, I'm not the person who makes an impulse animal purchase and then poorly takes care of it and gives it a shit quality of life. I love animals.>>27848
I mean I'm 26 and I just notice if I want to date someone around my age, the pool has gotten significantly smaller and limited than when I tried when I Was 21. I just don't know where to go outside of garbage dump dating apps like OKC and niche social communities.
Yeah, I guess ghosting isn't the correct term. He was posting but didn't respond to me.
Anyway he did get back to me in the end (said he just didn't check his messages but…idk how he could miss that monster I sent) and we had a healthy discussion. He was fine and didn't find me weird or off-putting haha.
I tried not to push it and so my last reply was very…conclusive, I guess? I added no more meat to the convo and thanked him for taking the time. But he still responded with something trying to strike up talk again, which is nice.
I'll be honest, now that this is becoming successful I'm even more scared. I'm never pleased I guess.
I have a friend that is like this, i think she likes to see herself as a supportive caretaker friend but she is just an enabler. Mindless positivity and irrestricted validation can be incredibly toxic too.
Your objective is to see if you want to meet him in person and then meet him in person. You both might meet up and then you smell wrong to each other. It happens. Or you might spontaneously tanglefuck the moment you get within pheromone distance of each other and go on to have a great relationship built on mutual interests and trust and unrestrained amazon-manlet lust. You won't know unless you keep talking to the manlet. So keep talking to the manlet.
lmao I didn't meet my fiance until I was 28
where did you meet? what circumstances?
OKCupid, which both of us hated… actually it's funny, both of us kind of bonded over how awful we thought the site was and how we never thought we'd find someone like us on it. He has on several occasions told this story to people who ask that he was already planning to quit the site but refuses to ghost people and we had already started talking, so he gave me his # and there we go. It was a little scary for me ngl because even though it was an affirmation that he was interested it also meant the ball was in my court to text him. My side of the experience before that you can probably relate to… lot of spam, lot of "hi", lot of people with like 30% match (this isn't super important but if we have nothing in common why are you even trying?)
He stood out to me because he wrote asking my favorite Bible passage and his own. So, if that gives you any idea of how much of an oddball I was on this "new generation's" website… 28 year old religious girl with traditional conservative values. That's not what you expect to find on OKCupid, right? (Or on CC for that matter)
I'm not saying it's easy or that this wasn't serendipitous (for me, of course, it feels like a God thing), I'm just saying you might never expect who you're going to meet or see in a place like that. And never give up hope.
So if I try and try I may get lucky? I guess it's better than accepting dying alone.
>>27898>actually it's funny, both of us kind of bonded over how awful we thought the site was and how we never thought we'd find someone like us on it
That’s exactly how one of my friends met her husband lol
Hate to say it but I've spent so much of my life waiting as it is. I went through some shit that still persists and at this point wont go away unless I move on which I desperately want to do. I need a new focus and a new person to give me a source of validation and a renewed belief in myself and that my past abuser wasnt right about me how they will be the only ones who would love a piece of shit like me.
I'm just outright tired of waiting at this point I'm getting fatigued and I just need something. I fucking hate this and I hate that bpd scumbag who came into my life and ruined me for no valid reason but because they couldn't control their mental illness or realize they were ill.
Seems like your main problem is self esteem, but you probably know that since you're looking for validation?
Try this: change one thing about yourself to be lovable. If you have one good thing, at least you can say 'that's my selling point'. You know? You don't have to do it all.
Of course its self esteem and insecurity. I mean theres a lot of good to me. There really is, but here's my current dating problem.
I'm a dedicated lover. I love giving I am verbal and passionate and deep down its dumb but when I look at the person I love I cant help but smile. I want to do everything good for the person I love and treat them right and feel great. But here's the problem, these are all great traits that make people want to date me and fall in love with me. But it never feels like they are in love with ME, just the things I do for them. Whenever I try to show who I am and the things I enjoy most of them dont really care or it's like feigned interest and they stay with me because I make them happy and I'll do nice stuff for them and make them feel loved. But I want someone to love me now. I dated this bpd person and they stayed with me because I loved them. Through every lashing, every hurtful word, and harmful action I came back and I was willing to hug them and do things for them. But they only stayed with me because I provided the basic romantic needs people enjoy and they thought i was good at it. And now I dont want that. I dont want to be desired for what I can do for others, I want to be desired for the dorky, nerdy, video gaming, animal appreciating dummy that I am. And when I put these things forward, i dont get much interest and it hurts.
You don't get interest from nerdy guys? Geez, I can't beat them off with a stick. I mean, they wouldn't come up and say it (nerdy guys are A++ cowards) but there's an army of guys drooling for a self-described "dorky, nerdy, video-gaming" girl.
Go to anything for 'nerds' in your area. Board game night at your local comic shop, for example. Find literally anyone in the room you don't think looks ugly as sin and sit next to them. Ask them if they want to get a coffee after. Or ask them what their Steam/PSN/XBL Gametag is and ask what video games you can play together. If your experience is anything like mine, your chances of being turned down are nil. It sounds like you're looking in the wrong places for your interests.
Even then… strong relationships aren't built on shared hobbies. You're right to want to look for someone who loves you for you and not just what you do. But it's also good to know that if someone treats you well and says they love you it's okay if their eyes glaze over when you talk about your interests.
I like shooter games. My SO has 0% interest in shooters, but he likes puzzle games and strategy games and stuff. I am glad we are together even though he has to pretend really hard to care when I explain how I got an awesome clutch squad wipe in apex. I'm doing the same thing to him when he tells me about how he "Conquered Spain" or some shit in crusader kings.
There are some rather intricate reasons I don't. But the general thing is it feels like low hanging fruit. Sort of like going into a den of virgins saying you are willing to fuck. No one is going to say no, but I guess I'm just afraid of getting with Mr.Wrong because it was easy and I'm kind of in a desperate spot myself. I'm honestly a little afraid of getting with the wrong person again, last time I did it because I was feeling a little alone, it cost me almost everything I had. I don't want to do that again.
Listen… this is just one anon to another here, I can't tell you how to live your life. But I think you need to just experience more relationships. The next person you go out to have a coffee with does not need to be your next soulmate.
Don't you think it would be healthy for your attachment issues if you experienced a low pressure relationship? Where you go out to get a drink and then at the end you say, "Eh, maybe this guy's not for me, I'll try another guy next week"?
I believe you need to have the life experience of talking to more people, guys especially, to fix your self esteem issues. It can be very empowering and validating to know there are people interested in you EVEN if you decide you don't want to keep dating them.
Basically I'm telling you to try dating.
Nah, it sounds like I'm making excuses at this point it's just, I'm not about that life. I don't want to use others to feel good, I don't want to hop around to 50 different men just to feed off of their attention so I can feel good. It's all dirty, and even then my self esteem issues stem from a history of abuse and psychological damage of a really shitty person who reinforced the notion that no one will ever stay with me for a prolonged period of time along with other things. I need stability, I need to find a person who will stick with me, not these passing flings where they find me neat for a hot minute and then drop me. It will just give me fleeting breaks from the bad feels town experience until they leave and I realize I can't keep anyone around. Also I've experienced a lot of relationships, I'm pretty experienced, that's how I learned what I know now. After so much trial, failure, break ups… all of it, you just learn what you want. And what I want is something that isn't easy to get and I'm just venting my bad feels because it's about that time again where the bad feels overwhelm me and I need to bitch about it so I don't break and spiral into a few week long depression.
>>27930> I don't want to hop around to 50 different men just to feed off of their attention so I can feel good. It's all dirty
Dating isn't dirty, it's natural. Believing the fairy tale that the first person you go out to get a drink with is going to be THE ONE is borderline some kind of crazy.
Seriously think about what you're saying. It's dirty to go have fun on a date and be shown you're a fun and likeable person? It's dirty to not immediately long-term with the first person you lay eyes on?
If you won't even give dating a chance with someone you don't think will be your future husband (based on… what exactly? surface level interactions and appearance?) then you WILL be alone or in an abusive relationship.
Well first of all dating isn't natural, it's a social construct. That's like saying marriage is natural too. That being said I'm not a thot, I'm going to talk to people that I think are a good fit, I'm not gonna go on a date with every guy who gives me attention. I'm not a leech who needs validation by 50 dudes who are trying to get a one night stand with me and throwing myself into a boring ass dating environment with people I have no interest in just because they give me attention. If that's what you do, that's cool and all but I made it pretty clear I'm not about that life. If I'm going to go on a date with someone I want someone whose an actual prospect and someone I can respect along with have something in common with. I take dating seriously and I'm not going to waste a guys time and mine by spending time with someone I'd never seriously date in my life time. It seems like you are willingly ignoring my feelings and thoughts on this and you just want to push your lifestyle on me because you think it's the cure all to low self esteem when mine isn't rooted in the feelings of being unattractive or unwanted, but rooted from trauma that needs to be handled quite differently. So once again, I say no thank you to this.
I took my nephew to the park today. some other teenagers started talking to him, and he wanted to hang out with them, but he has autism and it seemed like they were doing it to make fun of him, but he doesnt know any better. I told him we had to leave
want to kill my short attention span. I need to improve it, it's stupid short.
Ah, I see. Your problem is rooted in the victim ideology. I should've noticed it before, you ascribe yourself no agency. You refuse to take action because you believe yourself incapable of action. That's why when you describe your trauma you say…>"I hate that bpd scumbag who came into my life and ruined me for no valid reason"
This allows you to externalize blame. Nothing can be your fault because it was a past boyfriend's fault. Because you are permanently ruined, it's okay to adopt the nihilistic worldview that nothing matters, since nothing can change someone who is permanently broken. For example, you claim you want "something that isn't easy to get", but you refuse to actually do that work required to do it. The job of going out to meet people is reserved for "thots", you believe your only course of action is "venting" and "bitch[ing] about it".
A final piece of food for thought: dating IS natural. In nature, we call this "courtship". What's not natural? Being afraid of courtship. That is a mega, mega social construct. Animals don't curl up in their den and sob about how they were broken by an abusive past relationship.
I can tell you don't want advice though, because advice would imply trying to change something. Good luck with the venting! Maybe if you're lucky someone will sweep you off your feet and fix your life for you!
I can’t say I disagree with any of this but you really went right for the throat
Okay so it isn't natural, you don't understand what natural is and what a social construct is. You just want to validate everything YOU do is natural thus everyone must live YOUR lifestyle because it's natural. So nice try, but it's not, it's called a social construct and you don't even have the two brain cells to understand you have been conditioned and born into a social construct and thus you think it's normal and natural but that's just you being accustomed to what you were born into and conditioned by your environment to seem normal. Your world view doesn't go past your own and you must force it on everything else who doesn't agree that, that is infact their lifestyle too. I respectfully disagreed that your solution wasn't best for me and I knew what was and now you're just shoving it down my throat like some incel fedora wearing atheist who needs to turn everyone else into an atheist.
That's first and forefucking most.
Second, I'm here to vent, bitch about my shitty feels that I bottle up and go about my business. I tried to respectfully decline your solution but like most fucking men, when presented a god damn problem you decide to think "Now's my time to provide a solution to your woes and fuck you if you don't take it!" I'm not here seeking a solution. I know what my god damn solution is, I didn't ask for your input into shit I already know. I know I'm lazy and not putting effort into finding a boyfriend right now. It doesn't mean I can't bitch just to vent.
Third you pretend to know me. I know myself better than your dumb ass can ever figure out. Not everyone is the same, including when it comes to things they feel, past tarumas and everything else. Your advice is about the equivalent of someone who was traumatized by rape and fearful to open up to anyone else intimately and telling them "lol just go have some one night stands, just deal with it." Bitch you pretend to understand shit, but you really don't. You give destructive advice like a god damn normie because if anyone lives a non-normie lifestyle they are doing it wrong.
Fucking lastly.>Animals don't curl up in their den and sob about how they were broken by an abusive past relationship.
Except there are documented cases with penguins that show just this and sometimes never go on to have another mate. So real nice fucking try you ignorant fuck.
Take your ass to the nearest reddit about armchair psychology. I didn't ask you for shit you entitled cunt, I never asked and this thread is about venting. Hit me up if I decide to actually post asking for your garbage ass take so you can try to do this shit again because I didn't want to take your garbage advice on how I need to ride 50 dicks and that solves everything when in reality I have tarumas that make it incredibly difficult to make inter personal connections. BUT HURR YOU KNOW ME RITE? Fucking piece of shit human, stop giving advice no one asked for you aren't doing anyone a favor. I didn't ask for you to speak for me, I didn't ask you to tell me how to live my life, I didn't ask you for fucking anything, but yet you felt inclined to throw in your two cents about me based on a few posts of bad feels and then create a strawman out of me and try to shit on me for not taking your advice. Christ you are either a really shitty person or a scrote whose embittered that once again I won't validate your fragile masculinity by taking your garbage advice that will "save my life" because god forbid I know what's best for me instead of your ignorant ass and I don't have to validate why I'm hesitant and why the process has been slow for me for you to tell me I'm wrong.
Also here's a fun little meme image so you can fully understand what I'm saying here before you give me a >tl;dr like most incels do when people tell them to fuck off and no one asked for their opinion. Just a random one off of google but it works for this. Damn shame file didn't upload, repost.
This is like the dumbest image I've ever seen on an anonymous imageboard. If you don't want other people to give you their opinion, go type up a text file offline.
So you come into a thread about venting. The objective is for people to let out their emotions and feelings about shitty things in their lives and you think it's an appropriate place to give an opinion? You know when people vent on a public form sometimes it's nice to hear "Things will get better soon." or just in general words of encouragement. Not your armchair thesis break down of who I am as a person and a solution to my life. You realize there are places and times to do these things and this isn't one of them.
Do you have autism? Is this why you don't understand this concept that perhaps this isn't the correct place to do be doing these things? You can't just force yourself anywhere you want and say you belong and your force your input on others. You're literally trying to blame me for using a vent thread for its intended purpose and somehow like you aren't the one in the wrong. Do you want to blame me for not having the hindsight into dating an abusive scumbag of a person who traumatized me too? Clearly I must have been asking for it too right?
You've made the mistake of thinking that I'm the same anon as the other.
But it's okay, I forgive you. Please try harder to integrate into anonymous imageboard culture. Do your best, I believe in you.
Anonymous imageboard culture doesn't state "ignore the OP and derail the thread with trash that isn't the point of the OP"
If the thread stated "Advice thread" you would be correct, but this isn't advice thread, this is vent thread. But seeing as how far you are going to try to deflect blame and seeing the garbage low effort responses you are a scrote from 4chan who doesn't want to admit they are wrong and they basically aren't justified in their garbage behavior and decided to blame the other person for doing the right thing and how they are justified in doing the wrong thing. Fuck off back to the 4chan scrote. Go be cancer there instead.
I fucking hate stupid fucking idiots who scream across the room and laugh at high pitch volumes in the library like a bunch of middle schoolers.
Y’all look 35 at the youngest and are nursing students going into a career where people’s lives are in your hands, you do not have the choice to be a retard.
I just want to do my fucking work, not listen to your dumb ass screeching like a child, especially after the security guard came in and asked you politely to shut your pie hole.
And of course you duck your fat wrinkly heads and quiet down when you see the security guard approaching through the window.
The ONE day I decide to travel 45 minutes to utilize the school library is the day the librarian is absent and six chimpanzees in scrubs are let loose from the zoo.
Why do so many grown ass adults at this school act so immaturely? Even in my math class this past term you have stupid morons in their 40’s and 50’s interfering with the lecture to argue with the professor because they think SHE is wrong (no she isn’t, you fucking apes). One woman was sitting there with her young child beside her (it’s an evening class so I guess she couldn’t get a babysitter) and was yelling at the math professor over a problem she got wrong on a practice test. A fucking practice test, not an actual test. Like not only is she holding up the class, what is she teaching that poor kid?
I probably sound mad as shit writing this because I am.>>27563
No one replied to you so I just wanted to say I’m sorry anon, I wish I could give you better advice but I believe you are stronger as a person for all that you’ve been through and I pray you find inner peace.
I feel you anon, if it means anything.
It was weird that the other anon was pushing the "just date anyone now! it'll be great!" after you clarified though you would date, just getting with anyone isn't what you'd like. And honestly the sentiment of "I want to see potential and actually be interested in these guys" isn't fucking crazy? idk what that anon was on about. That's healthier than just using guys.
Saying it once as a suggestion is one thing, but they kept pushing it.
My coworker crush used to flirt with me all the time, but recently he cooled down with me and is started flirting with another girl within my earshot. Listening to them flirt together is fucking painful and makes me want to kill myself.
This is just embarrassing.
How long was he flirting with you?
Did you reciprocate?
A few months, and yes, but I’m shy and it might not have gotten across to him.
Well thanks, that's why I got pissed. I don't mind if someone just wants to say something once and give their earnest advice, but they kept shoving it down my throat and then straw manned me into being someone I'm not so they can then disrespect me more for not taking their advice. Like the person is a legit psychopath to go to that length of going from "let me help you" to "let me tear you down and break you into doing what I want" and it's kind of unsettling. Sorta like when you turn down a nice guy just a complete 180.
And sadly enough, this is why I'm hesitant to date. I don't need psychopaths trying this garbage on me in real life as if I'm willing to crumble and do what they want. I'm not falling for it again, and fuck anyone who tries doing this, you are a terrible person. And I don't feel like getting beaten because my natural response at this point to these kind of behaviors is just pure anger, I'm not going to win a 1v1 fight with a psychopath and I wouldn't put it past them to put their hands on me and tell me I need to be put in my place or some shit when I react poorly to their horrible mental abuse tactics.
What if you just outright ask him on a date?
He probably thought he was pestering you if you didn't escalate, and moved on.
Why am I procrastinating again? What's so fun about it? Why am I doing this to myself?
Why why why why why why why why.
let nothing distur…
There's a term for this which is appeal to nature or naturalistic fallacy. The issue with this appeal is some events in nature (cruelty, etc) would be wrong for moral agents like us to make.
Modern courtship might be closer to nature in that people satiate their natural appetites and wants more readily, but that doesn't necessarily fulfill our desires as beings with a moral dimension.
Wow very scathing, but you really have got the wrong anon. All I've said so far is that your image sucked.
I'll clarify my post and type it a bit nicer because I think you've critically misjudged: it doesn't matter what board or thread you're in, everyone is posting anonymously and this will lead to unpredictable replies. You should always be mentally prepared for such posts and know how to shrug them off. If you would prefer to avoid getting such replies entirely, then imageboards just aren't the place for you. You can try keeping a journal for your venting.
I hope that helps you build your resilience.
Thanks, this funny video contributed to my procrastination.
The American healthcare system is completely fucking broken. I had surgery to remove a (thankfully benign) tumor, and while I had a good experience, the hospital is endlessly hammering us with bills. I'm still dependent on my parents and we have insurance, but it's still thousands. They can afford to pay, but I wonder if they secretly resent me for costing them so much.
I mean how old are you anon? If you are 26 you are independent from your parents and you can find finical aid through the Obamacare stuff.
I'm dealing with this with my mother right now, there's a bunch of help you can find, you just don't always know about it depending on the situation.
I don't know where else to post this but I made the following discovery today:
>google stuff out of boredom
>link leads me to a shady forum populated by men who with incel-ish beliefs
>recognize an anime icon and click on it
>find out I stumbled upon the forum profile of an online friend bc she posted pics of herself and other identifying info
>read her posts out of curiosity
>her lingo sounds like a teenage 4chan edgelord's
>posts very prejudiced, un-PC stuff
>calls women derogatory words
>wtf, never knew that's what she secretly thinks
Apologies for being judgemental, but this was a bit shocking. It's strange to imagine the words I read coming out of her mouth.
She can be quite blunt with her language, but I know her as a generally nice and easy to talk to person. Not a hint of that edgy lingo where she calls people 'spics', women 'easy sluts' etc. Her Instagram makes her look like a cute normie girl as well.
No idea if I can see her in the same light anymore. Some of the stuff she posted is honestly crazy. I don't want to bring this up to her though.
Anyone else here who made similar discoveries?
I'm getting secondhand shock just from reading this.
Are you going to stay friends?
I like edgy 4chan humour and would be pretty happy if I found out normies I knew were secret edgelords tbh. although holding legitimate incel/pol/ views would be bad. Im only in it for the ironic memes
Me too, I'm LITERALLY shaking right now
You should take 2 things into consideration first.
Thing 1: It could just be someone posting her pics. Anyone she went to high school with would have an ample supply of pictures from Facebook. Not to mention boyfriends, or anyone with her Instragram…
Thing 2: It can also just be dark humor like >>28133
said. You might not be okay with this, but some people just need to have that anonymous release to get through the day. Posting edgy stuff online is like screaming into a pillow for some people. You don't have to be friends with her (not obligated to like anyone) but it doesn't necessarily mean she's really /pol/ (half of /pol/ isn't "really" /pol/ I'm guessing…)
This is more shocking if you girls are in your thirties or something but I'm guessing you're probably both 16-22.
I don't know yet. I could pretend I saw nothing… >>28138>Thing 1: It could just be someone posting her pics.
I'm 99% sure it's her because of the background info in some of her posts. Hard to explain without any examples. Also, she's using the same anime icon she used at another website where I first met her.
If it's not her, then it must be someone who's quite dedicated to impersonating her whole identity but this possibility would be even more shocking.
>Thing 2: It can also just be dark humor>You might not be okay with this, but some people just need to have that anonymous release
This makes sense. What bothers me most is that it's a male-dominated forum which is apparently known for having incel users and she says derogatory things about certain kinds of women to them? It leaves a bad taste in my mouth. If it was one of those gossip forums or lolcow.farm instead, I'd just think "haha ok" and move on.
And yeah, we're in our early twenties.
Why does it matter what she does in her personal life?
>>28157>why does the personality of someone who you spend time with because of their personality matter?
Regardless of politics, she's proven herself to be a liar now. But it's up to anon how much she decides to put up with.
Personally I'd confront her. It'd be funny.
People spend time with people based on the personality that person exhibits when around them. What they do, think, or say outside of that doesn't directly affect you. Knowing about it may affect your perception of them, but that's more your problem than theirs.
One of my dogs is the biggest creampuff ever. All the other dogs in the house love to bark and play tough, but she basically lives to eat, sleep, get pats and be friendly. She even loves strangers. If a stray cat came into the house, she'd probably just wag her tail, sniff it and try to play.
I love her so much, even if I'm too much of an agoraphobe to come out and play with her and the rest.
I'll be sad when I have to move. I love dogs so much. Anyone who would hurt them deserves a bullet to the head.
I love you, Duchess.
I realize I have the hots for one of the supervisors at my job.
Problem is that it goes against workplace etiquette to date your coworkers and also I found out today he's in a committed long-term relationship and has a 6-month old daughter. Everyone there thinks I'm a lesbian but I am in fact bisexual, just too butch in appearance to come across as anything remotely heterosexual so at least no one will ever suspect I have a crush on him and things will never be awkward. But I've never had a crush on a boy since literally high school which feels like ages ago so this is a weird mix of feelings for me.
I'm in the process of losing a pretty substantial amount of weight and am now inspired to start growing out my hair and attempt to become Stacy and try to attract straight boys instead of girls (which hasn't really worked either), but I still think I'll be too ugly even if I'm thinner. I wonder if after after losing the rest of the weight, putting a lot of effort into coloring/styling my hair, makeup, skincare and nice clothes will do anything for a meh face. Is there any hope?
I am almost in the same situation as you (the having the hots for a supervisor part), except in my case he’s single and I’m not acting on it because it’s a career job and I value my career. Also haven’t had a crush on a guy since high school.
Can’t give any advice on becoming Stacy, because I’m still going through the process of trying to glow up myself, but I think we should all give it a try. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Even if the effort doesn’t work out, you’ll have fewer regrets in the future, or at least that’s what I’m trying to convince myself of!
Is anyone so ugly that it affects their professional life? I realized something terrible recently. Every time my company takes a group photo that I’m in, they end up not posting that photo to their social media. If there are group photos that I’m not in, they’ll post it. I don’t know if it’s just a coincidence, but I’ve never been posted to my company’s active social media accounts. I’ve worked for this company for years.
I don’t even want to be plastered all over public social media, but when I first started to realize this, I still felt pretty hurt. I thought that this might even be some sort of discrimination, but it probably isn’t because being ugly is not a protected class. Plus, what I just described would be hard to prove. Even I still have doubts if this is really happening or if it’s just a coincidence.
How many such photos have been taken, both that you've been in and overall? What percentage of the overall photos that you haven't been in have been posted?
For a group photo to not be posted because one of the people in it is ugly, in my mind they'd have to be so incredibly ugly that it would affect all aspects of their life. People would avoid making eye contact with you or would make excuses to leave rooms that you're in, shit like that.
If you're not suffering these kinds of other major effects, then even if there is a specific effort to keep you out of posted pictures, I'd wager it's not because you're ugly.
Maybe the company's social media manager has a grudge against you for some reason, I don't know.
>>28268>People would avoid making eye contact with you or would make excuses to leave rooms that you're in, shit like that.
Not the anon but shit, I relate to this…
I think that anon made a bad mistake using those as examples, there are loads of reasons why someone might try to avoid eye contact. And there's an literal infinite number of reasons why someone might actually need to be somewhere else instead of with you.
I know, I didn't take it literally. I think the point was more "so ugly that people are disgusted in your presence" which still applies.
Haven’t really been keeping count over the years. Probably 20-30 group photos at company events? I’m in around 2/3 of them.
I’m not as ugly as you’re saying, but the people who work at my company are very attractive (not just based on my perception - most of my coworkers have big instagram followings and have companies asking them to model on IG). So that “gap” between our appearance might have to do with it. I would put a damper on their image in comparison.
>>28265>except in my case he’s single
Girrrrl, admittedly I'm pretty sad this guy is taken for good (and with a kid at that). At first I was like nah, even if he was single I'd never do it because this is work and we gotta be professional but now I'm like shit, this is a fucking food service job and our employee handbook doesn't say shit about us not being allowed to date each other. Plus I was just hearing some gossip at my shift last evening that two other coworkers of ours might be having a subtle romance (no joke).
Shit fucking sucks, man.
I want to be a policewoman but I'm the furthest from being a strong-willed, intimidating, cool person. I may be relatively tall but it saddens me that if I were ever to go to police academy I'd cry the moment I got yelled at.
The same thing with being a firefighter, I want to save people and be a hero, but I'm physically weak and exercising gives me anxiety because of some past shit.
I've settled with doing linguistics or whatever else even if it's far from being an interesting thing to do.
That's an interesting pic anon. Do you by any chance frequent any non-English chans?
>>28307>I want to save people and be a hero, but I'm physically weak and exercising gives me anxiety
What about something in the third category of first responders? An EMT or a paramedic or something?
This has got to be a coincidence. As someone who does social media management for her job all the time, sometimes patterns emerge that you don't even notice.
Yes, I do go to 2ch, if that's what you mean. I found the picture funny and I saved it. I frequent it because it's funny to read Russian guys talking about gay shit all the time.>>28309
I chose the wrong vocational education back in high school for things to take a turn towards being a paramedic. And I wouldn't say I'm fond of the medical field either, I'm not too good with injuries or taking care of injured people.
I've played a paramedic in some games and it sure was fun, but I think I'll let that stay in the 2D world only.
There are different ways to be a hero. I’ve always dreamed of being one too, but also realized that I wasn’t cut out for stuff like the police academy or firefighting. So now I’m a CPA working my way into forensic accounting/fraud investigation to fight white collar crime.
Not saying you should go into accounting, but just giving you some perspective. You might find what you’re looking for in unexpected places.
it's funny to read Russian guys talking about gay shit all the time.
Are you Russian? / Do you speak Russian?
The field of criminology also interests me, actually. I've always wanted to try my hand at it, but my dad for whatever reason doesn't approve of me going into it.>>28322
I understand most slavic languages to basic extent. I don't speak Russian, but I can read and understand most of it.
I just got acquaintance-zoned by a guy I like. Even if he doesn’t like me romantically, I thought I would still appreciate the friendship I had with him. To me, he was the first male friend I’ve ever had (only had girl friends before), but I found out today he doesn’t feel the same. He said that it was great working together with me (we worked on a semester-long group project together), but he doesn’t really see himself hanging out with me outside of that, even as friends, because we just didn’t have much in common and don’t have anything to talk about outside of school. Somehow this hurts more than just being romantically rejected. And now I’m back to square one - never had a male friend.
Wow, I've never heard that one before. However it sounds like he meant it coming from a healthy place of communication, not to hurt you. Maybe he has a good point too, maybe you ought to find a male friend who you share an interest or hobby with.
>>28351>because we just didn’t have much in common and don’t have anything to talk about outside of school
How true is this?
If you did go out to (platonic) lunch with him or something, can you see yourself holding a conversation? Or would it just be awkward silence in the absence of work that needs to be completed?
Is it possible that you have a definition of friendship that is outside the norm, or that your desire for a male friend caused you to see more value in the relationship than there really was?
Even if you see someone every day, it doesn't necessarily equate to a friendship. I'm "friendly" with all of my coworkers, but I wouldn't call them my friends because I know nothing about them and never spend any time with them outside of work.
It's certainly possible to make friends with people with whom you have nothing in common, if you want to. However, not everyone has the ability to easily talk about things outside their interests, and making friends with people who don't share your interests requires that ability.
Yeah, I thought he meant well too. It was definitely not said in a hurtful way. You're right that I should work on finding a male friend who I share an interest with.>>28360
I think he's right. I think there would be awkward silences between us in the absence of work to be completed. My social skills aren't great, so I don't quite have that ability to talk to people I have nothing in common with. Good point about the coworkers.
I have a big history of emotional and sexual abuse from exs, and every bf I've had has cheated on me, even my last ex who i was with for 6 years. I was seeing a guy from last halloween and we became official in march, but my past is definitely affecting things. I'm super insecure and no amount of therapy is helping. I try to sperg to friends and therapist instead of him but today he teased me and then was really sarcastic and it super upset me. I had to open up and admitted it felt emotionally abusive to me, but likely because of my past. He's been so good with me and patient, and even when I said this he was understanding and trying to help, and reassured me (he usually tries to avoid this because i have r-ocd and its best to not reinforce the need for reassurance). The thing is hes out with his friend atm so he can't call me, he said he'd call after but my brain is like 35839 miles away thinking hes actually pissed off or wants to break up with me now. I love him but he doesn't love me, he hasn't said it although sometimes I feel like he does from the way he acts, but again that could be because I'm used to abuse and being dicked over. He's the first guy I've been sexually attracted to, I thought I was asexual until I met him. Honestly I can't live like this, it makes me want to be dead. I wish I could erase past memories, my life would be so much easier I think. I wouldn't worry as much as I do. Nothing seems to be working. I hope he isn't mad at me or wants to break up, we just had an amazing holiday together and I was so loved up. I just wish my brain would fuck off or I'd stop reading into tiny little sentences and making new interpretations for them (or seeing the actual interpretation?? idk???) I feel fucking crazy.
I dated a guy from FFXIV since February until two weeks from now. As stupid as this sounds, I enjoyed talking to him and decided to take on a LDR for the first time because he had pursued me so much to the point where I felt obligated to date him, as well as felt some sort of love and attachment for him. He blocked me everywhere without giving me a reason recently, but I contacted him again and tried to ask what had happened without trying to pester him. Ignored my questions, replied rudely, and he took several hours to erase months of conversations from Discord.
I contacted his ex-girlfriend because I was very curious about his past since he refused to tell me anything about it. He would be quite vague sometimes, so I would bring up whatever he said, but he would just say something like
>Huh? I didn't say that
It was supposedly so bad that she couldn't talk about it specifically, but she told me that he had a huge problem with Korean women in FFXIV and Twitter, was a "problem child", he broke her trust, and that he "often loses contact" which I think means that he ghosts others frequently.
I don't think I've ever met someone as charming and as intelligent, but I guess I was tricked horribly. Even now it's hard to think that way instead of blaming myself for what had happened.
i had a dream about my cat who I can't see anymore. I was holding him and I felt his weight in my arms, the way his soft fur felt to brush back and forth with my hands. I miss him so much. I have to shield myself from seeing cats irl because they just make me miss him. It feels so stupid to have this specific longing for interaction with a creature that isn't human. I wish I could cuddle him and weep into his fur like I used to.
Feeling like an A3 or D4 right now
I have this ever-present fear that eventually me and my bf will run out of things to talk about and drift apart. Thinking about it is actually making my heart race. An hour ago he sent me a one-word reply and I never replied back since I had no idea how to respond and now I feel stressed and anxious. I’m being irrational right?
Hi, anon. You aren't alone. I feel this same way, I got out of an abusive relationship in March and I recently entered a new relationship and I feel paranoid all the time towards them. I feel like they don't tell me enough about themselves in relation to what I tell them about myself and it terrifies me they may be withholding some information from me that casts them in poor light. Cheating and being sexually abused/assaulted fucks with your head and I hate feeling like it has affected me so much. I'm sorry for all you've gone through and I know I haven't offered any advice, but I guess I just wanted to let you know there are others who are dealing with similar issues right now. I feel so vulnerable to this person and it makes me uncomfortable as fuck.
So I was talking to my shutin gamer sister about life recently and she said she doesn’t have platonic friendships with men because this would risk her being exploited for emotional labor. Of course she didn’t say it like this: rather, she said something about not wanting to be an "outlet" for "repressed emotions", which she obviously heard from some femcel dipshit online.
Maybe you seem like an empathic person to them, a simple "lets not talk about that" should do 90% of the time
Anon, please don’t apologise for not offering advice etc. It honestly helped to know I’m not alone in this. Together we feel stronger, you know? The feeling of vulnerability is a hard one to deal with, for sure. I will keep searching for ways to deal with it. At the moment I’m trying to do gratitude journaling and CBT style worksheets but it’s very very hard, especially as I find myself focusing too much on the relationship and fear not looking after myself enough. Big hugs x
I hate seeing the type of men I'm attracted to with women who are the opposite of me in almost every way.
Why am I lifting weights? All for nothing? Just so bigger men who I don't like can like me since I'm still smaller than them but not too delicate?
I could probably go skelly if I tried since I've unlocked self-control, but that's not the dynamic I'd want with these men even if it enabled me to be with them. At 22 and after all these rejections from them I think it's fair to say I'll never be romantically fulfilled.
Are you that anon who’s into short guys again (judging by the Napoleon pic)? If so, just move on. It’s a big deal to you because you’re making it a big deal. Try to keep your mind open toward other types of guys as well.
Saying this as a girl who’s also into short/shorter guys, for what it’s worth.
I’m narcissistic and self-centered. How can I learn to be a more caring and empathetic person? A better friend?
How do people stop being jealous all the time? It happens with my friends too. I just introduced a friend to another friend of mine and it seems like they're very into eachother and i now feel a bit left out. Of course i am happy for them but can't help but feel lonely now.
I also introduced my bf to another one of my "friends" (ar this point i think i'd call him an aquaintance) and they also seem to tag along very well. We were in a vc just now and i just silently left because i just couldn't join their conversation. I'm pretty sure they have much more in common than I do with my own bf so they'll probably enjoy talking to eachother more. The thing is everytime i do this i always end up regretting it. I try to bring my friends etc together but it always ends up in me being bitter and leaving.
I know all of them from irl but we all live kinda far from eachother so if we do talk and stuff it's usually on vc (discord) so that's pretty much my only way to be part of their life.
I think if things go on like this, i'll probably try to break up with my bf and delete my online presence/delete contacts and remake myself. I've done this so many times now, and i always makes the same mistakes. I wish things were easier to figure out, it's like i'm always playing a new save on a game.
You've identified the problem/s already, you're halfway there. Next step is to try your best to identify with others. Be a good listener, and try to put yourself in their shoes no matter how 'stupid' their problems seem to you.You want to think less of yourself (but not totally) and think a little bit more about the welfare of the ones around you, specifically the ones you love.
Think of what you can do for the people you love, even the small things.
My period cramps are so bad right now holy shit. I took two exedrin and a hot bath to help but the pain makes me want to vomit.
Here's a fun fact, Napoleon was about 1.7m tall which was pretty average for a European male at the time.
I'm dating a boy who I really like, but he won't progress things, probably because he's shy, and I don't want to do anything either because I'm really scared it might go wrong.
I felt for the "cute shy guy" meme, but now I seriously wish he'd just ask me to be his gf, and I'd just go along
I know you're right, me autistically obsessing over it is just making it seem worse than it is. I wish I could be open to super skelly long boys like I was a couple years ago (and honestly I still kind of am) but having even a couple dates with smaller men has tainted me and I'm unsure I could give my all to another type. It's really stupid but this is how it is lmao.
In general I should probably just stop caring about men so much. But I don't want to regret "wasting" my youth and missing chances with them either. I've read posts by anons here in their late twenties and early thirties who wish they'd taken more chances and I don't want that future. But this also feels bad, so fuck.>>28455
I know, and though I am the manlet chaser anon as suspected, I actually used that painting as a genuine reaction image lol. I was searching for the edit where someone superimposed a closeup of his face over it but couldn't find it. Subliminal manlet messages were only a secondary bonus to the conveyed emotion.
If I was into more accurate manlet imagery I could have used Yuri Gagarin or smth.
I’m so fucking hypersensitive. I take everything personally and confrontation terrifies me. Sometimes it makes me want to cease all human interaction and avoid relationships because it would prevent me from feeling hurt. I even can manage to make myself feel hurt when the other person did/said something completely innocuous. Kill me.
>>28446>At 22>I'll never be romantically fulfilled
I don't want to be harsh, because you probably honestly feel like that, but you're really overblowing things at this stage.
22 is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Plenty of people haven't even started looking for anyone by that point. I'm at 24 and I've never so much as been on a date.
How much time do you spend on this kind of thing? Maybe it'd be good for you to take a bit of a breather, slow down on pursuing guys in general for a couple months.
If it makes you feel any better, I saw a reverse-height difference couple at work today. She was tall enough that she could've kissed him on the forehead without him stooping at all. I thought they looked really cute together.
>>28458>I was searching for the edit where someone superimposed a closeup of his face over it but couldn't find it
Nothing worth having is handed to you.
Have you been dating at all?
You're probably being much too hard on yourself. But I bet you're right that changing will be really hard after being that way for so long. I wish you luck.
Past a point, you have to ask.
Is it worth it?
If you're happy being single than no, why fight against it? But I think she (you?) sounds really unhappy with the way she's been. So whether she tries again or just tries to not date anyone at all and refrain from playing games that way, it'll be a change and a difficult one. But most change is difficult.
As long as 'it' makes you happy/fulfilled even for the briefest of moments and as long as it doesn't negatively affect anyone else then it's always worth it.
I miss the honeymoon phase of my relationship.
Fucking same my bf used to be so up my ass all the time and now he's like "meh"
I get it, anon. And I dislike being told to grow thicker skin for my hypersensitive ass. Because I don't know how to.
I died in minecraft and my items despawned before I could get back to them. I lost all my diamond armour/tools
Panic attacks are kicking my fucking ass. >>28488
I hate when this happens. Do you have an ender chest with any backup armour in? If you play in a server, if the chunk you died in was loaded then your items despawn faster compared to if the chunk was unloaded, which might not have helped. ;_;
How do you come to terms with the fact that you’ll never be one of the normalfags?
I work for an industry that likes to hire new grads, so there’s a lot of young people in the office, including people from big name frats/sororities. I ended up getting along well with such a group. Thought we were friends (they included me in private group chats and everything), but as it turns out, I was never really part of their group. They hang out a lot outside of work at places I was never invited to, and have their own group chats where I wasn’t included.
I just feel so depressed over this, like I’m in middle school and being socially outcast by the “cool kids” again. I usually hang out with nerdy people and thought I was happy with that, but once I got a taste of the possibility of becoming friends with Chads and Stacies, I got hungry for “social status” again, because a part of me is not satisfied with hanging out with the nerds forever. It’s pathetic of me to be this way, but I don’t know how to stop.
Since the end of 2018 I've been feeling really isolated from society, like I just don't "get" anything that's going on anymore or what people are doing. It feels like everything was supposed to end back then but this is some continuation of time that's just slowly dragging on and not actually supposed to happen.
What've normalfags got that I haven't got to make me want to be one of them? Why're their friendships more valuable than friendships with nerds?>>28492
Let me catch you up, right now it's basically called "autochess", since you dropped out of society in 2018 you may be thinking battle royales are still hot, and they do pull numbers (there are 3 major ones now), but this new game started as a mod for a MOBA called DOTA 2. Like battle royales, autochess took off as a trend and immediately got imitators/competitors. The original is only 8 months old now, but there is a standalone from Valve called DotA Underlords and also a competitor with the LoL heroes called Teamfight Tactics. You might be asking yourself, "when will Hi Rez make their knockoff?" – they have not yet made any announcement of making an autochess clone.
Hope this helps.
I keep procrastinating when I have 15,000 words to finish before Sunday. I procrastinate weirdly though. The more anxious I get, the more I look up cosmetic procedures etc and think of ways to change myself. It’s so odd. My procrastination is definitely based around self esteem and a fear of failure but this is ridiculous
What you describe is not unusual. When I have important work to get done, I clean my room.
Your brain is saying: "I want to do anything but this" but "I feel too guilty to just sit around doing nothing".
I gossiped about something someone told me in confidence and feel so guilty about it. Should I talk to her and apologize to her for spreading that information around? The news I spread wasn’t about her fortunately, but could cause her trouble if people found out it originated from her.
Logged in to Facebook after 2 years out of curiosity. I was searching for an old ex who I felt very bad for leaving. Back then I decided it was the right thing to do because we were doing nothing but making each other feel bad, and I was just hoping to see how that person was doing at the very least and maybe apologize for everything or maybe even nothing. No I didn't want to get back at all just in case you're wondering.
I was greeted by the feed of my most recent ex who broke up with me not even 4 months ago. That ex has already found another lover, and I'm still in pain after what that person said when breaking up, demeaning me in all verbal manner. All my self confidence dropped since then (there wasn't that much to begin with) and I've been left all on my own trying to raise myself up.
For 5 years, that person kept breaking up and even cheated once, and I kept fighting for that relationship because I truly believed in it.. but the most recent argument was when I was at my lowest and stopped fighting at all. It was then that I realized that that person has always been verbally abusive from the start.
I'm so tired and lonely. I don't even ask much in a relationship at all.. but I guess I'm just too autistic for a relationship. Maybe I should just accept the bitter truth.
i relate to everything said in this video
Missed out on gay pride 2 years in a row because of work. Was expecting to go with friends this year. Everyone already has plans. I’ll be going alone.
where do you live anon i'll come with you
nice humblebrag btw
Maybe you should be the one to add him if you miss/want him that much.
If it doesn't work out the way you want, at least no one can blame you and say that you didn't try.
I don't think that can be called a humblebrag. It's just plain and simple bragging. Or having confidence which is good to have. Better than being insecure.
it kind of just makes me want to cry sometimes thinking about how much he’s changed since the honeymoon phase. he used to beg me to talk to him for hours upon hours everyday and now he spends nearly all his time playing video games. i feel like i have to force affection out of him, while at the beginning he would call me “cuddle bug” and a bunch of other cute cringy nicknames. sometimes i wonder if he even still has feelings for me
Man I'm fucking tired. I'm too much of a dumb whiny crybaby who is too much of a burden.
My first relationship might fail and I'm such so pathetic I'm begging not to end it. I'm sick of crying and I'm too old to accomplish anything that isn't a dead end job.
I don't have anyone else beside bf as my relationship with my mom strained since she called me a bitch and told me to kill myself.
I'm just burned out.
Anonette it sounds like maybe you have self esteem issues because of bad parenting. Take it easy on yourself. Remember you can always start fresh tomorrow.
Easy, just get together with your gay friends in a day where everyone is free , stand in the middle of the street and start yelling at random people passing by about your private sexual preferences in sordid detail.
Same thing, any day can be pride parade day if you want to.
I need to find a way out
These sort of "revelations" never make sense to me; it has always been like this. Yeah people really do look as bad as they do - have you been living off of anime and tv shows for your whole life?
Ignore the bad parts, focus on the positive things you do like, or adjust your mindset and your idea of what the average person should look like. Or simply step back inside if you really can't deal with it.
Bruh, this is a good thing no matter what you look like.
>if you're uggo yourself you won't stand out as a monster
>if you're hot you'll seem REALLY hot
Odd that you mentioned things people have control over though (save for MAYBE bad skin since that can be a battle). In moments of suddenly noticing everyone is average I usually note close set eyes, weak chins, big noses, thin lips, high WHR, "off" facial proportions, etc.
Or are you just trying to be nice?
Im gonna start working with kids as a teaching assistant at an artschool and as someone with aspergers i feel like this is gonna be a real hassle because i cant connect with adults, let alone kids. I feel like im just gonna act all cold and emotionless giving more critisism than praise. Art has been a huge part in my life and im truly obsessed with it, but id rather teach kids closer to my age who dont see me as a huge role-model - someone whose words mean truly a lot - because my words are cold; i cant act like other peoples work is special and marvelous when i know its not. Ill just say something like "oh how lovely" without any real or well acted out emotion behind it, and ill make these kids cry.
Another thing is that im not a self-starter. I cant just go around randomly looking at others work like a know-it-all and i dont know when is a good time to approach others. What i mean is, i need percise instructions and i cant make impulsive decisions based on how i feel in the moment, for i am terrified of fucking it up (ive done that way too many times in the past). And i, you know!! Just dont wanna be intruding!!!!
The teacher there is really nice and ive known her for a long time, but i dont think she knows how bad my social anxiety really is. She has always thought of my apathetic behavior - lack of responsiveness and interest to everything around me (aka what people talk to me about) - as depression, which she thinks i have gotten over during the summer because upon our reunition today i worked really hard on my fake smiles and eyecontact lol. Really the "apathy" has just been me feeling comfortable enough around her to not trying to act like a neurotypical - someone who gives a shit about every little thing around them equally rather than that one subject/topic being the center of their thoughts !
Uhh do you guys think im got this??? Also sorry if i said something dumb im quite young so please dont be too hard on me…
Hey anon, I have aspergers too and I’m rooting for you! I’ve been wanting to apply for a job and have been worrying about being able to hold a job for similar reasons. Feigning normalcy can be exhausting. I really wish you luck!
>>28731>have been worrying about being able to hold a job for similar reasons. Feigning normalcy can be exhausting.
Though most jobs do require socialization, there are some that can be comfortable for the asocial.
I recently got a job as a cashier at an Asian supermarket. I was initially worried about having to spend all day doing the whole small talk song and dance that I've come to expect from cashiers, but it actually ended up being a nice fit for me. I'm not sure if it's because of the language barrier or if it's a cultural thing, but 99% of the customers seem to neither want nor expect interaction. In practice I actually don't have to do anything except standard greeting, scan stuff, standard goodbye, repeat.
It's great because I can just withdraw into my own head and only be like, 30% mentally present until a customer asks a question or something.
There's also jobs like hotel night auditor where you usually don't have to talk to anyone simply because there's no one else around - your job is primarily to do the books and then make sure the place doesn't burn down for the rest of your shift.
Handed in a big piece of research yesterday and all I want to do is clean but my housemate has a friend staying and her stuff and mess is everywhere and I dghjsdgjdsgjhsdgsdfiojfdsjfiojdiofjsdfjklsdjfklsdjflksdjflksjdlfkjdkljfkdjflkdjf I JUST WANT TO SCRUB AND HOOVER
I just got ghosted by a friend of about 6 months after making a light joke about being “jacked” on Adderall. Basically the conversation went as followed:
>friend: is free Monday and Wednesday night
>me: I’ve got an exam on Tuesday so on Monday I’ll be too jacked on Adderall to focus on anything but studying math, but I’m down for Wednesday!
>[come Wednesday] me: so what we doin tonight?
>friend: Oh hey, sorry! Can’t hang out tonight.
Then seconds later I get a notification from my profile tracker app saying someone blocked me on Instagram. I had the strongest gut feeling it was her, and long story short, I found out she blocked me on every social media platform, not just Insta.
The reason I suspected it was the Adderall comment was because it was A.) the last thing I said to her after we were planning to meet up and B.) she’d always been talking about trying to rid her life of people with “bad influences”. Maybe she suspected I was some kind of druggie, which is stupid since she knows I have ADHD and that’s the #1 drug prescribed to us. Anyway, good riddance. People who ghost over dumb shit are cancer.
for the first time in my long(ish) years of living, im genuinely questioning my sexuality and its ruining what i thought was a perfect relationship with a loving boyfriend. i worked through some tough shit with my mental illness and the trauma i endured as a child and its just uncovering the fact that im probably just 100% gay. lobotomize me already.
>air conditioner broke a few days ago
>don’t even notice cause we keep the air conditioner usually @ 78
>roommate complains so I fill out a maintenance request at my apartment complex
>guy comes in this morning to fix it and tells me if it happens in the future to call the complex’s 24/7 line because a broken air conditioner in summer is considered an emergency
Made me feel like a clown
How do you stop being resentful of the types of shit some girls get away with just because they're cute? I feel like as an ugly person, I have to work twice as hard (or more) to earn respect in life. On the other hand, cute younger girls can often get through in life with being incredibly lazy and irresponsible.
If it makes you feel better, I got ghosted by someone I thought was a good friend because I got her a small gift and she decided it wasn't enough. Blew my damn socks off. Some people just suck.
if she ghosted you for something so insignificant, then she was never truly your friend>>28906
That's the way we humans think, the better you look the better you're treated, it's subconscious. You probably do it too without even realizing it.
That's only an excuse to treat people badly. The unconscious part doesn't matter much, but do you ever do it consciously? Do you try to correct this behaviour?
Speaking as a fellow ugly person, I just accepted that that's how the world works.
Resentment and any other negative feelings turned into indifferent acceptance at one point. Since it wasn't a conscious decision, I can't give any specific advice.
>>28907>I got ghosted by someone I thought was a good friend because I got her a small gift and she decided it wasn't enough.
Lol wow. In my case it was a mixture of ignorance/stupidity with a sprinkle of cuntiness mixed in, but that's just flat out being a massive C-U-N-T to ghost you over that
. Hopefully she ends up alone and bitter someday, which she probably will unless she's able to find someone unlucky enough to take advantage of. Fucking hell.
My heart has been pounding for hours and I can’t fucking relax because of anxiety. My whole body feels exhausted. I don’t want to think or be conscious.
most of the plumbs from my plum tree have been invested with plumb moth caterpillars
Is there some kind of netting you could put over the tree to keep the moths from getting to it?
I can use non-toxic pesticides next year, but theres nothing I can do for this years plumbs. I tried eating one and it was actually very nice, but my friend said I shouldnt eat them because they have Caterpillar poo in
What we do is to wrap the fruits around plastic bags. This prevents the insects from getting to them, and allows the fruit to grow and ripen.
When that happens, find ways to control it. If drinking water calms you a bit, do that. Don't overthink and think positively.
im praying finnanicial aid goes through this semester so I can attend class
it's so stupid. i have a good gpa. yet i don't have the money.
gets even worse when you consider I dropped from a 3.7 to a 3.3 & am retaking a course to correct it, I…am miserable. i really need this..but a 3.3 is still good, right? Fuck
I don’t think 3.3 is bad, mine has been consistently 3.3 for a year now. But at the same time, I just have to be above a 3.0 to receive financial aid.
>>28982>wrap the fruits around plastic bags
Wouldn't that create moisture inside the bags as the ethylene gas condenses on the inside of the bag? I don't know if it's different for fruits still on the tree, but the few times I've put produce from the store into sealed plastic bags, within a few days the inside of the bag gets very wet and then, shortly after, moldy.
I don't think companies really care what your GPA in college was as long as you have the degree. If you got a 4.0 or something I'm sure it's a nice plus, but I doubt they're going to call up your school and ask them exactly how you did. Graduating is graduating.
I think she’s more worried about paying for school; you can lose financial aid if your gpa dips below a certain point, depending on the school and state.
My self awareness is practically nonexistent and I'm having a bad time with identity; I can judge anyone's character objectively, or at least I like to think so, but not mine.
Some idiot got the entire DC area’s LTE network (Maryland, NoVa, and DC itself) banned for 3 days for being a moron on /co/ earlier today. I’m just beginning an hour and a half-long public transit ride home from MD to VA and just want to argue with someone who replied to my post from earlier this morning with something ignorant. Because the ban is only 3 days I can’t appeal it.
Why do people suck so much?
Man, back when I used to use 4chan at my uni there was always that POS who got the whole campus banned for weeks at a time for posting MLP on /v/
Do you have a smart phone? You can post on one of those instead?
Never went to a normal uni (only community college) but I recall some dumbass getting the Gaylord banned from all boards for a week during Katsucon, I think it was for porn on a blue board but I don’t remember exactly because that was years ago.>>29054
That’s precisely what I’m trying to post from. What the hell do you think uses an LTE network, silly? A potato?
I believe they systematicaly abuse mobile isp just to have them shut out phone posters. In my case its always the same thing, some pointless spaming on a containment board imedietly after it gets back up again, and then I cant post anywhere in the country until the situation changes.
I feel so disillusioned right now. Found out the guy I like did coke at a party. Not sure if it’s a regular thing for him or not. I don’t know how you all feel about this type of thing, but as someone who doesn’t even smoke weed, I don’t want to get involved with a guy who does that.
But I still have lingering feelings for him. I know now that I don’t want a relationship with him, but I keep making excuses in my head that “hookups are ok” in order to continue to dream about pursuing him. I was originally planning on making the first move with him, even if it’s just for casual sex, but now I’m not so sure even about that despite still being attracted to him.
Hookups are ok.
Sometimes people use drugs because they're hurting, not because they want to hurt you.
Even better reason to avoid them, they're damaged beyond repair and will always rely on drugs in that case.
Ask for his thoughts on his drug usage and decide where to go from there. Cokeheads can be kind, but they're usually compensating for their own issues with another addiction. If they have no plans of seeking help in the long run, then reel back the pole to seek more fish. You can fuck them but not fix them.
You could always cough up some shekels to Hiro.
Or find a Starbucks with free WiFi to post from instead of using cellular data.
Hey so the guy I like doesn't want anything serious, and seems that this thing we have is pretty one sided, seeing that I'm the one taking initiative to hang out all the time.
I know very well that I really should stop trying so hard and slowly cut off contact, but me and my monkey ass instincts still want him, FUck
Meet some new people and let yourself fall in love again
Hmm yeah.. I just started uni so new fresh start and new people n all that. I'm getting there when it comes to socializing, but I'm pretty hopeless when it comes to romance. ):
It's going to be hard to get him off my mind though… Like, he's super cute, got good humor and music taste.
So he could be your friend and ypu guys could discuss all of that. He's not into you. Someone else could be. And maybe you'll be into him too, not because of his music taste , rather because of the way he makes you feel like you too are on the top of the world together, treat you right and makes you feel secure that he's not going to leave.
Not this guy.
Just finished crying from rage. The kind of rage you feel when you get so frustrated with someone that you start to feel utterly hopeless because no matter what you do or say, they won’t fucking listen. I haven’t had the urge to hurt myself in a long time but I felt so enraged that I impulsively dragged my nails down my thighs and now there are marks. I now understand why people punch holes in the wall lol… I probably sound like a child but I haven’t been this angry in a long time. Now I just feel exhausted.
Don't bother trying too hard on dense fuckers. Can't make a coconut fly.
Not to trivialize the conversation taking place, but>Can't make a coconut fly
I'd never heard this saying before, so I googled it.
I didn't find any other uses of the phrase, but interestingly I did find out that dried coconut is apparently a highly combustible item and is actually banned from airplanes by the International Air Transport Association.
As it turns out, one is apparently not allowed to make a coconut fly.
I feel stupid complaining about this, but I recently accepted a job offer for a role that I'm excited about. The only problem is that it's a limited term job and I think I could get a job that pays better too. I'm conflicted because:
Pros - meaningful organization, chill workplace, get marketable skills for first gig out of college, I don't have to be on the job-hunt anymore
Cons - it's not long-term (fuck what if the economy tanks in the next year because of 2020 shit), potential for the work to be unfulfilling, not the highest paying job that I could get at the moment
lol you being so mad just proves what she said got under your skin, because on some level you know its true
I think it's a good idea to accept this one and look for something else in the meantime.
I say go for it. You're probably young and this could lead to something else that ends up working really well or you enjoy even more.
I can't fucking stand this anymore. I've been working 8 hours every single day for the past 2 months now and I'm at my breaking point. I did the same thing last year and the year before that and I was somehow fine, but for some reason it feels like I'm in a ditch this time around. There's so much that's wrong with me, even though I should be doing better than ever. I feel miserable. Just two more weeks of this shit but I can't get it into my head that's it's ever going to get better, probably because it started before I even began the job. I cry before sleep every night. I'm so fucking exhausted of racing against time constantly, and I have absolutely nothing to show for it.
I wish I had friends. I wish I had time for my hobbies. I wish I had time to excercise. I wish I wasn't this retarded. Just writing this shit makes me feel guitly and spoiled and disgusted with myself, because it's so shitty and incoherent. I desperately want human contact, but I can barely push myself to post on anonymous imageboards. God.
I already accepted the job, I was just having conflicting feelings about it because I was offered two interviews this week right after saying yes.
I talked to the bf about it and he's right, the short term will force me to prepare and think about my next move and be proactive about my career.
Plus I when I checked the salary ranges for the two other jobs, they are about the same so I won't bother worrying about it as much.
I feel you anon. Everything will get better. I promise
Good job anon! I hope uou like it, and if it doesn't work out then remember,
nothing is permanent.
I'm a 20-something too, let's be friends!
I can’t get myself off and it’s so frustrating
I have my first job interview for a part-time job at the mall tomorrow and I’m so anxious that I’ve been having heart palpitations. I’m also scared about how I’d do as an employee if I got hired because it’s a sales job and I’d have to interact with customers and tell them about products. It’s a store that sells sunglasses. I don’t know a lot about sunglasses and brands that sell them. I have aspergers and social anxiety so I’ll probably put the interviewer off anyway.. i just want to die im so nervous
I'm listening to an otome CD and the guy is so affective, loving, sweet. He tells MC she's beautiful and talks about how much he loves her. Meanwhile my bf is emotionally stunted and has only complimented me 3 times in the last 10 months. I remember each time so vividly because he initiates acts of affection so rarely.
I wish he would just break up with me if he's so uninterested. 3D was a mistake.
Please tell me he's that guy who's been pretending to be Ryan Gosling from Drive for the past 5 years.
>>29363>if he's so uninterested
He may just not be the kind of person who tends to be open about his emotions.
If he really cared, he would show it in other ways. Since he sucks at verbal expressions, he could do it through physical contact (not sex or at least not just that), through his actions or through presents though I personally like this one the least. When you care about someone, don't you get those urges to want to express it to them? I find that too many girls are in relationships with guys who obviously don't give a fuck anymore but they don't break up with their girlfriends because it's too much of a hassle.
I disagree. some people are just like that. have you tried talking about it with him?
You should read about the Five Languages of Love. Each person has one primary and one secondary they really consider very important. In summary, they are>receiving gifts,>quality time,>words of affirmation,>acts of service,>and physical touch.
Two things you should take from this.
1. Obviously words of affirmation are your love language. You should try to communicate to your bf that your love language is affirmation and that you need
to be told you are special regularly.
2. Find out what his love language is. It's certainly not the same as yours. What does he do or want to see that signals love? For example my BF is extremely cuddly (we are ALWAYS holding hands or something, even driving or eating) but won't even hug other girls that he has known a really long time, and I know this is because he considers touch to be the most important way of expressing love. I have heard a lot of anonettes here say that they do not have this kind of BF though, so I wonder if most men are maybe service or gift types…
Anyway, I suggest you see what you can do to learn about his means of expression – and by the way, this isn't a guaranteed pardon for your BF. Maybe he ISN'T expressing love in any language, but examining more closely instead of fixating on one thing will help you answer that.
Yes, she should talk with her bf, but wtf is this languages of love new age horseshit?
That's some cringe shit right there, I expect to read that sort of stuff in tween magazines from the 90s or 00s.
>>29376>When you care about someone, don't you get those urges to want to express it to them?
Define "care about."
I would say I care about my family, but I could also go days at a time without even speaking to them despite living with them, unless they initiate a conversation with me. It's just the type of person I am.
It doesn't mean I dislike them or don't want to be around them, I just don't have a particularly strong desire to go out of my way to interact with them, insofar as I don't really feel such a desire to do so for anyone.
i want to have longer conversations but i need to develop a personality. to develop i personality i must pursue my interests. to develop my interests i should get out of bed.
god i just realized how love-starved i am
i threw up today and skipped school
my sister saw i was feeling sick and made me chicken soup
i was so happy i almost cried there because not even our mom would do something like this for me
a bit later i got a message from a friend from school and she was really worried because i looked pale and sick last time she saw me, and she noticed i wasn't eating as much
she offered to take me to the doctor or a nutritionist and told me that i need to start taking more care of myself and i just broke down crying after reading her messages
i'm not used to people being this nice to me and this made me realize i just want someone who will care for me and cuddle me when i'm feeling down and encourage me to be better
i don't know if i'm asking for too much but i'd be willing to do the same for them
I'm sorry, but in my experience: Ultimately, you, yourself will be your own motivator in life. I'm not saying that other people are useless, what I'm saying is you're the only one who won't abandon yourself. That being said, it's still healthy to seek love and validation but you will only be let down if you entrust 100% of your feelings in them, and it's not like it's their fault, they're only looking out for themselves too which is natural.
All I'm saying is that what you're feeling is natural, but don't expect anyone to be your stable pillar in life because YOU are your pillar in life.
I didn't actually intend for that to seem as rude as it did, it's just so corny i couldn't take it seriously at all.
I am feeling spent in my relationship with my sister. I've only met her boyfriend once, after she gave birth, and I'm "not allowed" to see him, ever, meaning that when he comes over to my family's house, I have to stay stuck downstairs or she throws a hissy fit. He doesn't know of this stipulation she's placed on me. I've been a loyal partner and I've never cheated and I'm not interested nor would I ever be interested in one of my sibling's partners. Furthermore, she hides whenever my boyfriend comes around and it creates this weird tension. I'm also depressed as fuck because both of my exes would try to please her so they could meet her, since I did talk about her a lot in terms of how she affected my life (negatively, mostly), and one would give her gifts, the other once broke into my phone while I was asleep and texted her which she readily got excited by because she has no friends and I feel like I have to act secure in all this so I don't turn out like my sister, paranoid that my partner is going to be into them.
I feel weird that my current partner will try to do the weird "pleasing" thingy in a bid so that he can meet her, but I feel like if I speak up about it I'll sound accusatory or weird. To make matters worse, my ex would call me my mom's name during sex, would talk about fucking me in front of my dad, and would "joke" about fucking my sisters. The shit thing is, this makes me feel so insecure and yet as if I must mask it because I've seen this insecurity in my sister (even though she's never dated anyone but the guy who knocked her up) and I hate it. What's also stupid is I've always gotten lots of male attention my whole life whereas both my sisters haven't, so I feel fucked in terms of whether this is an inevitable issue of them being way more attractive than me objectively but their not trying at all in the appearance/life department is why they lack male attention. It's a vicious cycle because I'm nearing independence from my parents, I have a job, I'm in college, things that none of my sisters are, and yet, it's not enough. I just feel gross and ugly because no matter how hard I try in life, no matter how many people tell me I'm attractive or whatever, it feels like "yeah, but you'd probably just pick one of my sisters or mom over me".
God I feel like I'm such a dick to my coworkers..
>be at food service job, making customer's food
>run out of certain type of cheese on the line
>excuse myself to quickly run back grab two more containers of it in the storage fridge
>apparently another coworker who had another customer behind me needs it too
>she also comes running back for it and bumps into me as I am closing the fridge door
>"oh the cheese!" she says
>she tries grabbing both containers from me
>"I got it," I say, not letting go of them
>she continues to try and pull them out of my hand
>"I got it I got it I got it" I say
>she still doesn't let go and keeps tugging
>finally I let out a frustrated "I got it!" and tug them back, gently pushing past her and running back to the line
Maybe it's because this particular coworker annoys me but I still feel like I should have just let her take them from me, Idk. This is not the first confrontation I've had like this either. Do I sound like an asshole?
did you have two and she wanted one but you were keeping them to yourself, or where you just taking them to the counter where she would have access to it anyway and she was snatching it for no reason? if the second fuck her, she sounds annoying
I was taking them to the line that we were both working at and we as well as the other employees would be sharing it. The second container was to go in the backup drawer underneath the line for easy access so we wouldn’t have to run to the back next time.
It does sound like she was being unreasonable, but bear in mind that it might be possible that she just didn't hear you initially before you raised your voice.
I don't think you were in the wrong either way, but if she acts differently toward you in the future as a result of this encounter, consider talking it out with her.
Or don't, if you don't like her anyway. Personally I don't care what my coworkers think about me unless it negatively impacts me in a tangible way.
I didn't used to be this retarded I swear. I think being constantly stressed and really lonely have made me far dumber than I was a few years ago.
>like that my bf has relationship experience (we had both been in 1 relationship before meeting each other)
>feel nauseous and insecure when I think about him with his ex because just imagining him being in love with another girl makes me sick
I wish I wasn’t this insecure
Alright, maybe I'm overthinking that particular situation but I did make a couple enemies during my shift today. The same woman tried grabbing something else out of my hand. I had been handed this pan by the girl who was working the oven to put on the line and so I went to put it there and said coworker from before was all, "let me help you," grabbing onto the pan and spoon I was holding as I was tilting it and I pretty much shouted, "NO!" right in front of all the customers (which was really bad and I'm glad the manager wasn't there to see it happen). She let go and was clearly bitter about it, giving me attitude the rest of the day. I also made another enemy with my 17-year-old coworker by ignoring her when she asked me to do things for her just because I felt they were more along the line of commands coming from a bossy teenager rather than polite requests involving a please/thank you, and I didn't like being commanded to do things by non-managers. She also criticized me for being too slow (which I didn't think I was, but I could be wrong) and I kinda snapped at her afterward because I took personal offense to it. I could tell by the end of the shift that both of them were seething and obviously shit-talking me in Spanish. Yeah, now that my schedule changed due to school and I'm stuck with these women for the next year I wonder how well things are gonna go.
Makes sense now. The girl who's trying to pull things right out of your hands is doing it on purpose. Don't let her bullshit get to you.
I feel the same way.
Sometimes when I catch a break and my stress goes down, I get moments of clarity when I feel like I get back the mental acuity I lost, so there might be some hope that this whole change is reversible.
I had a nightmare about being called out as a lolcow online and woke up with chest pains. Ironically what the supposed blog post said about me hurt less than how I normally put myself down in my head, but my chest pains haven't subsided yet.
>just found out a friend from highschool killed himself yesterday
>all i can think about is what i'm going to wear for his funeral
this is my first time losing someone close to me and this is how i cope with it what is wrong with me
So all my black coworkers from my past job going on about how “latinos” and “Spanish girls” being schemers/overall shitty wasn’t just them being racist?>>29674
Wow anon, I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing people to suicide is tough as nails.>what is wrong with me
Possibly still in the denial stage of grief
what's the motivation behind doing that?
Big no. Never trust latinos.>>29682
Could be trying to make OP look bad because she doesn't like her, or she could be trying to screw her over to get ahead of her. Or maybe she just wants to be the one in control.
>>29681>So all my black coworkers from my past job going on about how “latinos” and “Spanish girls” being schemers/overall shitty wasn’t just them being racist?
they were being racist
Yeah, so it was brought to the GM’s attention today and literally I kid you fucking not, these were his exact
words:>I’m just gonna let you know now that Spanish women are horrible
He told me that he’d encountered a bunch of women working there talking about me in Spanish, usually about how they think I’m doing a poor job (like saying things along the lines of why is she doing that?
) and he tells them to stop talking behind my back and to show me how to do it right instead when he catches them, which might be why that particular woman was so stuck on helping me when I didn’t ask for it
I’ve noticed that the Spanish men at my job, who are all pretty young (teens to mid-20’s at the oldest, including the GM who’s only 26) are all really supportive of me but the women, mostly 30’s and older aside from two teenagers, not so much. I don’t mean to stereotype but there seems to be a pattern.
Older latinas are the worst. They're the embodiment of jealousy. Don't ever expect them to be supportive.
Don't feel bad about it. It's not a stereotype if it's true, and they're always true.
How'd it go? >>29661
Sorry to hear about that anon. I often imagine that I'd be a cow by now if I didn't get bullied enough in school to get me to knock off some terrible characteristics. To be honest I still worry if I might act like one sometimes.
I moved into my new flat yesterday. this is the first time Ive lived fully on my own and its really comfy. its very small tho. Im paranoid about it smelling bad because I left my stinky gym shoes out
>>29720>How’d it go?
During the interview, the interviewer made me do an “audition” where I pretended to be an employee and he pretended to be a customer. I had to force my voice to sound really upbeat and make small talk with him (painful). I didn’t get the job but after the “audition” I realized I would’ve hated it anyway. I have an interview at Subway tomorrow and I’m nervous. Answering open-ended questions and making eye contact is not easy for me.
>>29765>I had to force my voice to sound really upbeat and make small talk with him (painful).
Unfortunately, Subway seems like a similar kind of face-of-the-business position to me, unless it's for some kind of role in the back of the store.
How available is work in your area? Are you just interviewing wherever you can?
If possible, I'd suggest looking into something where you can be more of a faceless cog, like a supermarket shelf stocker or something. Having to wear a smile for 8 hours a day can be pretty terrible if you're the kind of person who is drained by social interaction.
I applied for the sandwich-maker position so I’d be at the front of the store. It seems better to me than working at a larger, louder place like Red Robin or Chilis. It also seems a lot better than working as a salesperson where I both need to make small talk and try to convince the customer to purchase something. I’ve been applying to a ton of places and don’t have a lot of experience so I’m taking what I can get. It would be part-time. I know my ability to deal with social interactions will be tested if I’m hired but I think I’ll probably just put off the interviewer and not get hired at all.
A friend of mine with some pretty bad social anxiety managed to get a job as a sandwich artist and hold the position well enough. I guess it depends a lot on the other candidates, the interviewer, and how desperate they are…..
>dont get dicked by crazy
but it doesnt say anything about batshit insane
Went on FB for the first time in a while and the first thing I saw was my crush being tagged a meme by someone I know is interested. I really wish I hadn't looked.
Ugh, hate that sort of thing. Think we’d all be much happier if we never touched social media again.
Going nowhere at all is just so exhausting. I can't hack it anymore.
>Just want to be a mother and wife
>Insides are fucked up
>Genes are fucked up
>Been cheated on while engaged
>Been dumped by a nearly perfect man because the trauma from the first instance prevented me from being a good partner
>I'm going to die poor, old, and alone
>personal 10/10 seems as interested in me as I am him
>literally walked up to me and started chatting with me despite being visibly and audibly nervous (cute..)
>we're religiously incompatible, of all fucking things
RIP. We can still be friends but I guess I'll just have to admire him but never be able to act. That was the plan he ruined anyway so whatever.
>>29797>letting imaginary friends ruin a good thing
>found a $100 savings bond gifted to me when I was a baby
>calculate online to see how much it’d be worth now
The fuck is the point? $100 was worth much more twenty years ago than today.
Whoever bought it didn't pay $100 for it; they're sold at half of face value, so $50. The treasury department guarantees that the bonds will reach face value in 20 years, and some kinds of bonds will continue earning a pitiful amount of interest if left un-redeemed up to an additional 10 years.
So, in theory, they're an easy and guaranteed way to double your money. But in practice if you're actually serious about growing your money, you could earn much more than double just by investing it/spending it on actual things over the course of 20 years. Though, they are better than the money just sitting in a savings account earning bank interest, I guess.
I feel like savings bonds are mostly a scam for the gullible or patriotic, and an easy birthday gift old people can get their grandchildren.
>my husbandos aren’t real
>and they never will be
why even fucking live
A fictional thing is still better than the nothingness of death at least.
I'm not the religious one so I agree with you.
Although he's still only 18 so perhaps his mind can change. Idk I'm torn since it instills some values in him that are desirable to me but I'm pretty sure he's not allowed to even consider non-believers lmao.
What if you play along for now and try to change his mind from the inside?
What religion is it? If you really seem that compatible I'd just pretend. Although if it was some cult shit like Jehovah's witness I would stay away from it.
>>29806>change his mind from the inside
Lmaoing but I feel like starting off on a lie is bad.
I'll probably plant some seeds of doubt in future if given a chance at least.>>29807
It's Islam (and dw I'm not white either, any lurking racist-chans).
The thing is I like the lack of drinking and some
sexual conservatism…but then there's everything else. That said he doesn't seem misogynistic so far but we'll see.
>>29787>Think we’d all be much happier if we never touched social media again.
That's the thing though… if you don't play the game it's like forfeiting. You can tell yourself you're above it all but people are using the platform for social maneuvering and if you try to stay out of it you're just cheating yourself.
you sound like a real doucher.
why would you go on and judge someone's entire being and ethos from a short nervous conversation? perhaps you are the racist one (the knee-jerk "I'm not white either")?
hope you get over it and find true love though~! Inshallah
I'm just used to anons being racist if I mention liking non-white men, sorry. It was meant to be joke-y at their expense, I'm mixed with white myself so I'm definitely not against race mixing kek.
If you are a Muslimanon, can you tell me if there's hope here or nah? Honestly would be fine with him being religious if we agree on other matters and he respects my beliefs. I'm a softie agnostic at heart.
I'm going to get to know him regardless anyway since I know people are individual.
How much do you know about the way he practices his religion?
He may describe himself as Muslim but not necessarily adhere to all the hijab wearing and throwing gays off buildings and such. For recent generations Islam is probably just as susceptible to "this is my religion because my parents told me it was even though I don't go to church or anything" as Christianity and Judaism.
If he's unwilling to date your for not being Muslim, he's obviously deep into it. I'd say don't waste your time, Muslims don't go after anything serious outside of their religion, and converting to Wife Beaters™ for a dude is just dumb.
My dumbass was under the impression that bonds changed in accordance to inflation, as if it’d be worth $150 if I cashed it this year. I’m miffed but hey, money is money.
He seems moderately into it, as is his brother. I've been friends with casual Muslims like you've mentioned but he definitely reads as more active than them (taking part in worship, mentioning it on social media, etc.).
But I dug through his posts and he (and his brother) also identifies with feminist beliefs and is friends with non-hijabi women so who knows.>>29823
We haven't gotten that far for me to actually find out, but I'm assuming it could
be an issue. I'm just anticipating things since we're really only talking atm.>converting to Wife Beaters™
Yeah, no man is that cute.
The idea of him being physically abusive towards me is a comical picture though. He's just a wee thing and I'm not.
I want to quit my job without another one lined up, because the workplace is too toxic. Everyone talks shit about one another and management engages in illegal activity. I can’t deal with this anymore. I have savings, but not sure what effect this will have on my career.
>>29826>but not sure what effect this will have on my career
In what sense? Do you need the connections in this job specifically in order to advance?
General stereotype (that's been confirmed many times, sadly) in my country is that muslim men are real sweethearts when dating and once you get married they do a complete 180, but not because they secretly want to trap you, it's because for most modern young muslims here at least religion is not of much importance until later in their lives when all of them suddenly become big religious boys, no idea why it's like that but I've witnessed multiple cases. Had a friend of a friend completely disappear and she lives in a small village, she's just barely allowed to go outside. Most of them are also in mafias here too and always doing some shady business. But that could just be an albanian thing…
On the other side I know a really nice muslim family that's lived in my town since I was born and I hung out with their kids, they were always chill.
I'm also dating outside my religion/ethnicity though so iktf, although thankfully my boyfriend isn't actually religious. Muslims can be cool (and very not cool) but I think it mostly defends on their family and what values they taught them.
Not particularly. I have other references I can use, but it just feels like the general belief is that you shouldn’t quit a job without another lined up. It looks bad for your resume when you try to find another job.
>>29829>it just feels like the general belief is that you shouldn’t quit a job without another lined up
I mean, I will admit that it's not a great idea, but if you have enough savings to float you and the job is distressing you that much, I think you'd be better off.>It looks bad for your resume when you try to find another job.
How long have you worked there? How much do you need it as a reference? Could you just omit it from your resume entirely?
Is it the gap in work history you're worried about, where it shows you ended X job on Y month but began Z job 2 months later instead of immediately?
For around one year, and I do not absolutely need it as a reference. I am a little worried about the gap in my resume, but also about how to explain to interviewers why I quit without a job lined up.
>>29833>but also about how to explain to interviewers why I quit without a job lined up
Would an interviewer really ask that specifically based only on seeing that you did not begin another job immediately when that job ended?
Why not just tell them what you told us?
You make a good point. I think a good company/interviewer wouldn’t care, especially when I have other experience to show on my resume.
Oof yeah I have heard of this sort of thing, although just with regards to bringing foreign girls to their home country and becoming controlling. Though in fairness my father basically did that and he was an atheistic American kek.
Why do you think they do that 180? Is it because it suddenly benefits them?
I guess I'll just wait to find out how his family is, and most importantly how his mother is/how her husband treats her. That goes for any man though.
I've just got such high hopes since he's the first little man who has shown mutual interest in me, often I scare them and only taller/bigger men pursue me. We even have similar interests, it really might be too good to be true.
God forbid you turn 35 and/or get a kid. You'll turn so invisible so fast it's not funny, and then no one will respect you anymore, and nothing will make you be seen as a human being in the eyes of society again. Its basically "be pretty, be young and be available for men to impregnate you or go home".
I fucking hate this.
I feel like my whole life has been like this though, because I was always ugly, with a weird body, etc. So as I get older, I'm just as invisible as I always have been but my confidence goes up because I don't tie myself to beauty anymore… so I genuinely end up attracting more positive attention an affirmation as a result of developing that confidence (which translates itself as openness/warmness/friendliness/etc)
I have the same too but things changed
my life was pretty much how >>29915
described, until i moved to another place. at this other area i was considered more exotic looks-wise (not many people of my ethnicity here) and thus got treated better. it felt so disingenuous.
also at work. i actually did this experiment where id sometimes purposefully try and dress better, act more "open" (smile, basic courtesy, instead of straight face), use makeup etc to see how i got treated (at the "exotic" area) and i was treated better by male clients. i even got better fucking tips. it was disgusting.
it is disingenuous and fake and so vapid. it feels like the only thing that matters about you is how good you look, when you are a woman.
My grandma with dementia is going to a care home probably this week. I know it's time because my mom is sick and can't care for her at home anymore and when I come over to help I can't watch her and my baby at the same time because she acts dangerously around him by trying to grab him and pick him up. I help her in the bathroom but my mom is too sick to clean up her bathroom accidents when I'm not there. She doesn't remember who my mom is anymore but she remembers me. I am really sad. I love my grandma.
I mean, what do you want men to do? Nobody wants to raise someone else's kid. I would never date and much less marry a guy with kids after seeing what that was like for my mom, her friend, and my sister. Worst decision you could ever make.
A man often starts hating his wife after she has his
Men are absurd.
I'm not talking about dating, I'm talking about life in general. Your opinions don't matter anymore and you're generally forgotten about by society (especially so if you're a mom).
You can't make friends, no one cares about you or your opinions, people at work disrespect/undermine you (you're always "the bitch", "the old hag", "the bitter and jealous boss") and if you are jobless, goodbye to any chance of getting hired.
You see the stereotype of the conventionally attractive successful 30+yo man everywhere, there's never the conventionally attractive successful 30+yo woman. It's always she who disappears under the radar, not he.
I dunno I feel like life is getting better for me now that I'm a mom and these things are a normal life experience for people in my age-group so there's some solidarity with other women in the suffering of it, I think it was worse for me when I was young and friendless and not respected by anyone.
I made a huge mistake. I rehomed my precious boy kitty a couple weeks ago and he got hit by a car. I had legitimate reasons for giving him away, but now that he's dead, I feel like a piece of shit. He was so attached to me and I abandoned him. He didn't deserve this. I want to hold him like a baby again.
Also, fuck whoever ran him over. The speed limit is like 25 mph on that road and everyone goes 40+. I've always been against letting my cats outside and this just reaffirms my belief. I let someone convince me he "needed" to go out to burn off some energy. Seriously NEVER again.
Men generally become successful at their career in order to increase their chances at relationships, making him more appealing.
If a woman is successful at her career, it's generally seen as a sign that she ignored relationships in order to focus on work instead, making her less appealing.
At least that's how I believe society collectively sees things.
You turn invisible to society past a certain age regardless of career or not…
>>29934>Your opinions don't matter>generally forgotten about by society>can't make friends
What if this is already happening to me and I'm neither 35 nor a mother?
>>29948>Men generally become successful at their career in order to increase their chances at relationships
no most do it for money or just because they like the idea of "leveling up". most normal people dont view the world through the lens of "will this get me gf"
That's the thing, when you stop caring about how other people think you look, and what you can give to other people (your looks, etc.) and start treating the world as if it owes you
something, you will see what I mean.
The second I stopped giving a shit and realized that I don't owe people anything, and start actually being comfortable with myself and standing up for myself and taking up space, the more people have started treating me with respect.
People might respect you when you're young and pretty but I never got that chance because I was ugly when I was young too. One day I woke up and realized I'm not going to wait around for people to respect me, I'm not going to ask people to respect me, and I'm not going to look at life through the lens of "what can I do for these people so that they'll treat me with respect".
I've started approaching every situation looking at what I can get out of it, what these people can do for me, and basically taking respect and demanding it. Do I give a shit if someone thinks I'm not youthful enough or not exotic looking or not pretty enough? Not anymore lol.
As a result, I feel like people are far more drawn towards me, far more respectful of me and basically they try to impress me now, whereas my whole life I spent time trying to do the opposite.
>start treating the world as if it owes you something
Not them, but that's an arrogance I can't exhibit. Glad it works for you in your society at least.
>tfw it’s not depression
>it’s fucking vitamin d deficiency
At least theoretically this’ll be easier to fix
The guy I like calls me his homegirl. Does that mean I’m in the friendzone?
People who enjoy shotacon or lolicon make me so uncomfortable, it’s clearly rooted in pedophilic desires. They try to pretend their lust for children stops at 2D but that’s clearly bullshit, it’s likely a slippery slope and they’ll venture to assaulting actual children.
Guro makes me sick too, if you associate gore with eroticism it’s only a matter of time before you murder someone to get off on your sick desires
>>29999>it’s likely a slippery slope and they’ll venture to assaulting actual children
Doesn't Japan have a much lower rate of child sexual abuse than America despite being absolutely steeped in the 2D form by comparison?
Many girls and women who enjoy shota/lolicon see themselves as the shota/loli and lust for the older, male character.
Who knows if this extends to the author of such works. Not denying that there are pedos who use them for their own sick desires, though.
I can't speak for everyone, but fiction isn't reality. I grew out of shotacon but I have other creep fetishes like rape and yaoi, but that doesn't mean I want to see it in real life. Even when I liked shota I never felt anything for real kids. Actually I don't even masturbate to 3D porn.
Now thats some "anti-everything tumblr blog" level of bullshit
>>30005>see themselves as the shota/loli and lust for the older, male character
Additionally, there are works which don't even include older characters, in which the reader may self-insert out of a desire for a sort of childhood romance that they never had themselves.
Nah, I’m just tired of seeing shota shit everywhere. You guys need to come to terms you’re pedos. How is finding underage kids attractive normal?
It's not a kid. It's a cartoon drawing that doesn't look or act like a real kid.
You know how some people can't get turned on by drawings? It's the same thing but in reverse.
Damn, that crazy amount of mental gymnastic made by males here to prove that they are not disgusting pedophiles is amazing. Yes, you fap to drawing of kids faggots. If person on the the pic looks like a kid and you consciously fap to it, then you are borderline pedophile.
So if I like killing people in video games does that make me a borderline murderer too?
You aren't refuting or providing any arguments to support your opinion. Saying "are too!" doesn't count.
this shota/loli conversation is repetitive and stupid and pointless
Gamers are usually garbage people and most school shooter epic gamers.
>look at this picture for example. pink hair works for her because she's a cartoon, but it looks gaudy as hell irl.
Are you implying that anime fans don't dye their hair irl? because plenty do and plenty of girls have pink dyed hair. If as many lolicon fans act on it as anime fans who dye their hair then this is a real issue.
>there are also pedophiles interested in shit like boating, bird watching, stranger things (?), and virtually every other interest out there.
But only one of those interest is made specifically to cater to their paraphilia and is exclusively enjoyed because of that paraphilia.
>yeah, pedophiles like children porn but they can also like boating! hur dur
>>30048>exclusively enjoyed because of that paraphilia
there are many reasons for someone enjoying lolishit anon a lot of people are into it for the ~taboo~ same shit with teacher/student and incest kinks etc etc
also you completely ignored everything else i wrote to signal out one line & get it perfectly wrong
>>30048>Are you implying that anime fans don't dye their hair irl?
Wew lad. NTA but that's some stellar reading comprehension.
I'm having a major deja-vu. It sounds like it's always the same anon starting this "discussion" but she (he?) doesn't even read other people's take on this topic and just always repeats the same few points.
Admitted to my 19-year-old male coworker that I have a crush on one of the managers at my job. I've convinced this manager that I'm a /literal/ retard because of the amount of sperging I've committed in front of him. I'm almost positive this kid is going to tell his other teenage friends around the shop what I said and it's going to get back to him. I'm also not very attractive facially (have ok body but that doesn't matter when your face is whack) and even disregarding me being retarded I don't think he'd ever like me back in a million years because of my sperging.
Should I just kms now? I don't think I can find a new job any time soon because of my lack of work experience.
>>30110>Admitted to my 19-year-old male coworker that I have a crush on one of the managers at my job.
why the FUCK would you tell him that anon?? That's some 15yo-schoolgirl tier shit.
Me, him, and one other person closer to my age were huddled around having a conversation on who we found attractive in the shop because it was slow as hell last night. He was telling me and the other guy he had a mild crush on this one girl, and we also talked about other people who were attractive/not attractive. He asked me if I liked this manager because it kinda seemed like it based on how I acted around him. I said no, but after the other guy left he was like, “no really, do you?” and I said sorta and begged him not to tell anyone because this is a work environment and our relationship needs to be professional/not awkward.
You’re right, I’m a fucking idiot. Don’t know what I was thinking.
aid came through btw bless >>28990
every day i wish i was born somewhere where this shit is free
>ruined more opportunities with friendly people who could have been friends with by being rude and aloof
>guy keeps talking to me of his own volition>was the first to make a move>expressed anxiety about making me uncomfortable>still convinced he actually dislikes me
I'm just waiting to ruin it I guess. I can never be happy! Great! >>30195
Iktf too anon.
lately I get really horny thinking about having sex with all of my friends and being slutty. thus I masturbate more often. whats wrong with me? what would they or my bf think if they found out?
a tip - get the vit d kind that is liquid. not capsule/tablet. the liquid kind is better absorbed
feel better soon, anon!
Yes. My sister hated online dating and she went through four different websites (plenty of fish, OKC, Coffee meets bagel and a fourth one I don't recall) and dates with 7 or 8 guys before she found the guy she's dating now and can't stop raving to me about. I'm not going to bore you with a platitude about perseverance, so yes, keep trying.
No where in the rules for vent threads does it state "there will be no offering of suggestions or solutions for the problems described". Learn to handle strangers on the internet saying things you don't like.
>thought a cute girl gave me her number
>actually gave me her friend’s number
My drunk ass was flirting with him over texts thinking I was talking to her.
Sometimes I get this feeling where I'm "cringe", or embarrassed for no specific reason, I guess there are several things that added up over time. Even typing this right now feels wrong. I'm looking for ways to distract myself, but everything fails and I start having suicidal thoughts again.
I while ago I posted about a introverted guy in my lectures who always sits alone, and that I had a crush on him. today I found out he got a girlfriend. a girl from our class whos also very introverted and sits by herself asked him out. Ive never seen either of them so happy. Im very upset and angry at myself. I dont want to be at uni anymore. I dont see the point. I dont know what to do
But anon, you're at uni to get a degree. Getting an introverted boyfriend is secondary or tertiary.
And there will be many more introverted guys crossing your way unless your classmates (not sure what it's called in English) are mostly female or you're already in your last semester. Join sports or other clubs to raise your chances at finding them. I personally regret not having joined any clubs in my earlier semesters.
>>30427>a girl from our class whos also very introverted and sits by herself asked him out
Bonus "HA-HA" points for the girl also being introverted.
Aslo it's pretty remarkable that a girl asked a guy out herself. Let alone an introverted girl.
Let her success be an inspiration for you though.
getting a bf (or friends atleast) was my primary goal coming here. I dont care about my degree at all. there probably wont be any other guys in my class because are classes dont change for the whole 3 years. I tried to join a club but there were too many people and I didnt like it :(
I was honestly feeling better today, but on the bus home he smiled at me and now I feel confused
>>30434>getting a bf (or friends atleast) was my primary goal coming here
a-anon. you realize that people find bf without uni right? in fact, one may argue finding bf is the least useful/guaranteed thing to come from uni
before uni I was a NEET. I don't know where else I would go to have a social life. there aren't many places you can meet people when your an adult. I'll never try online dating
Automatically attending uni doesn’t guarantee you friends, I learned that the hard way. As much as it sucks you have to start socializing with people, whether they’re classmates or randos in between classes. A lot of people feel the same way you do and are waiting for someone else to make the first move.
I think I'm a pretty good gf. 9 out of 10 times I'm the prettiest girl in the room, I dress well, I'm skinny. I'm very affectionate, I always want to have sex and I'm pretty kinky. I never bother my bf, I never demand anything besides affection, I'm not a jealous person, I'm nice and easygoing. We never even fight. I don't whore myself on Instagram, I'm not caked in makeup, I don't even use social media. I would say my biggest flaw is being shy/quiet and having trouble socializing.
And yet my bf still considered cheating on me with hotter thots. I saw him post about it online. Do you really have to look like an Instagram model for men to love you? I don't get it, is this really not good enough?
I don't think he has cheated but I just feel bad. He made those posts about 3 and 6 months ago but I can't stop thinking about it. I don't know if he really meant it or if he was just blowing off steam. But either way I feel really sad.
sounds like your biggest flaw is that youre full of yourself tbh
You're both shallow.
He's worse though, toss him out.
>>30493>Do you really have to look like an Instagram model for men to love you?>love
Love's got nothing to do with it sister, instathots are just something they can stick their dick into and then leave.
But if you're willing to cheat on your partner then you can't be in love with them.
Man I hate it when people cancel on you at the last second
I'm such an idiot. I'll be alone forever, no men like me but I keep convincing myself they do.
Any bit of friendliness is a sign for me to move forward and I keep taking it too far. Always too far. But they don't actually like me, not like that.
He just wanted to be my friend.
He's just a part of the group for this project. He's only talking to me so meetings will be more comfortable. Or maybe he's tired of me already but can't end it.
He was just extroverted.
He tracked me down and messaged me a month after we talked…but what does he want? Friendship? What for? I can't reply now.
What did I do? I drew the portrait of one and sent it to him, what a horrifying creep I am. I keep messaging another. I want to reconnect with the last one so badly.
At this point I have no idea why I keep believing.
>>30525>He tracked me down and messaged me a month after we talked…but what does he want?
sis be wary cuffing season is coming
As winter approaches people want to be in a relationship or ‘cuffed’
So you get dudes you haven’t seen or heard from in ages suddenly asking you how your day is going
It was actually back in May but I missed the message until August. That's why I can't reply.
The situation with him is overall the most unfortunate. Even if he feels similarly he won't be staying in the country long term. Sucks!
(I'll keep this in mind though)
>tfw you’ve never had a dude you haven’t seen in ages asking how your day is going
Never heard about this term before though. Learn something new every day.
This is the kind of stuff only normies follow. What a stupid concept.
>”hey anon, can I cover your shift tomorrow? I could really use the money”
why do bitches think I don’t have my own bills to pay? fuck. of course if I had said yes they’d see this as an opportunity to keep asking. I’m so glad I’m learning to put my foot down when it comes to my coworkers still trying to take advantage of me because I’m the new kid on the block.
of course she seemed sour when I walked in to work this morning, too.
also should have clarified this text was sent on sunday and she wanted my monday shift.
Femcel sperging incoming. Not angry at anyone or anything in particular here, just some virgin rage.
I'm pissed that men (incels in particular) have the nerve to complain about women being ~so picky~ and about how they can't get dates when in reality it's easy as fuck for men to attract women. They literally just have to be clean and some cute girl will date them, they can even be fat and it doesn't matter. Want to get even better? Get healthy, wear trendy clothes, and get a good haircut. Then they'll be drowning in thirsty and likely hot women.
None of it matters. They can be short. They can have acne. They can have a giant nose. All men are possibly desirable (in a dating way too, not a pump and dump), they just have to be clean and confident. Yet as a woman I do all these things and no one wants me. I get dressed up every day, I'm at a healthy weight and constantly improving, and I'm confident. If I was a man I'd be set! But I'm a woman so I have no fucking chance since I have imperfect facial features and am sometimes too blunt and self-assured (for a woman, in a guy it would be endearing of course). It doesn't matter how genuinely invested I get in men, how much I ask them about themselves and wish them safety and grant them my care, there's no love for me.
Mainly I'm just tired of the myth they peddle that women are in control of the ~sexual marketplace~ when it has been men this whole time.
And I'm lonely. This sounds all bitter but I don't have hate in my heart really. I actually have love but nowhere to put it.
>New (male) coworker>Talks me up a lot>Obviously only interested in talking to me in the hopes of hooking up or dating>I casually mention my partner>Coworker immediately stops talking to me outside of work reasons
So predictable it's stupid. I got nothing against the coworker, I just hate the song and dance of politesse everytime a guy pulls the same shtick thinking they're being sly about it. Of course if they're one of 'those' guys you have to bring up your unavailability in a more tactical way so they don't throw a tantrum, or if you're American, shoot up something.>>30645
My vent is only vaguely related, but I wanted to say I totally get what you're saying about guys just not understanding how easy it is to get a woman. I date both girls and guys and admittedly the ratio of quality women vs quality men feels really skewed throughout your twenties (haven't lived longer than that so can't comment on older.) So many young guys have zero worth compared to girls their age that the moment a guy has any semblance of maturity and decency, they have their pick of women. Especially if they have goals of marriage, families (at least in my culture) clamor for their number to give to their daughters.
I mean, what would you rather they do, hit you with some insane "hhhhehehe just cuz therses a golie dossnt maen u cnanot scor" craziness? I appreciate when guys are subtle this way because I can subtly tell them off and they tend to listen. Why, are you angry they're only interested in talking to you on the condition of possibly dating?
>>30645>It doesn't matter how genuinely invested I get in men, how much I ask them about themselves
Have you tried asking them to date you?
Yes! Standards for men are basically rock bottom and it's lost on me how some refuse to take advantage of it.
Maybe genuinely deformed men struggle, but your average man just needs to do so little in order to find love.
See, if I think of it theoretically and based on stereotypes it makes sense but irl it's just not true unless there's an imbalance of women (like on dating apps, less women).
Not to mention that female beauty standards are ridiculous to adhere to male preference. Women are out here losing sensation in their genitals and shooting shit into their bodies just to please men. If that's not control of the marketplace I don't know what the fuck is!
I can also argue men withold long term relationships from women, I hear that story over and over and fucking over again. He doesn't have to be Chad to pump and dump either, just be moderately socially capable and confident.
I'm sure you either could get pussy if you were slightly more outgoing, or you just haven't noticed women who were interested. Happens all the time. Even better, you didn't notice because she dared to be average looking or below.
Male loneliness is a myth.>>30653
Of course I have. I'm not rarted enough to complain about something I haven't made efforts in.
>>30655>See, if I think of it theoretically and based on stereotypes it makes sense but irl it's just not true unless there's an imbalance of women (like on dating apps, less women).
I'm probably gonna be scowled at for using evolutionary psychology explanation, but whatever.
In every species where a female's parental investment (conception + digestion + lactation) is bigger than that of a male's (pretty much just conception), females and males employ different reproductive strategies. For females it makes sense to only mate with males of the highest quality they can obtain. For males it makes sense to mate with as much females as they can, regardless of their quality. Thus females are gonna be more 'picky' when choosing partners, while males are gonna be more 'thirsty'.
The only possible exception is when a male is of such high quality, that basically EVERY female wants to mate with him.
>Not to mention that female beauty standards are ridiculous to adhere to male preference. Women are out here losing sensation in their genitals and shooting shit into their bodies just to please men. If that's not control of the marketplace I don't know what the fuck is!
Well, physical attractiveness is just one of the things that determine the value of a potential mate. It's not that the standards are different, it's just that males place much higher significance on looks compared to females. Females place more significance on personal qualities and (especially) social standing.
>I can also argue men withhold long term relationships from women, I hear that story over and over and fucking over again. He doesn't have to be Chad to pump and dump either, just be moderately socially capable and confident.
Yeah, I'd say that's true. And it's in line with optimal male reproductive strategy. And it's gonna become even worse as we move towards "sexual liberation" where there's no social pressure for people to pick one partner and stick with him/her. Right now we're on the path back to harems, essentially.
>I'm sure you either could get pussy if you were slightly more outgoing
Yeah, that's probably true. But I fear that I'm already past the certain point of no return where if I haven't learned to socialize with people and (especially) initiate/escalate things romantically there's a very poor chance for me to learn it at all.
Like as if everyone around me is already doing trigonometry while I can barely multiply single digit numbers.
>or you just haven't noticed women who were interested. Happens all the time. Even better, you didn't notice because she dared to be average looking or below.
Ha-ha, no, trust me I always look super hard.
>>30655>Male loneliness is a myth.
lol, are you trying to troll?
I know males who are around 30 and virgins or haven't had a partner for a long time.
They are neither bad looking, nor socially retarded.
You just dont know shit about reality, or are baiting.
You don't find it even the tiniest bit ironic to complain about how often you have to reject all the men that are interested you, in the same post where you try to agree that men have such an easy time finding dates and women are actually the hard ones?
The statistical reality is different from what you're describing. There is a vast inequality in the dating pool relative to attractiveness in men vs women. In terms of attractiveness the bottom 80% of men are competing for the bottom 22% of women, while the top 78% of women are competing for the top 20% of men. So for the majority of each gender there is cut throat competition.
The complaints about there not being enough good guys are to do with the standards of attractiveness. Obviously with a 50-50 male to female ratio in the population there is no shortage of guys. But what percentage of them are good? This depends on the standard of good but it's clear by the way each gender beamons the shortage that there's a big difference in what they want and what the reality is. Studies have shown attractiveness gives the impressions of favorable traits even with no proof of the traits themselves, like honesty or empathy.
Tl;Dr both genders are divorced from the reality of the situation
this graph and the 80/20 rule have been disproven so many fucking times. stop posting asinine bullshit
a) the infographics that are posted about it, like that one are literally fake
b) the entire premise is based off of one data set from one online dating site which is not representative of real life
c) the actual data is massively misinterpreted. if you read the data directly yourself, not some article you will see that the conclusions you can draw from it literally dont conclude what it is being used to suggest. its a measure off perceived attractiveness, only an idiot or someone with a vested interest would interpret that to "20% of men date 80% of women"
d) common sense prove it not to be true. anyone who has experience in real like can see its not true. almost all men have partners and have no problems dating
Do you have any proof for that?
Or do you mean because the actual data has been misinterpreted which I've already read from other sources, the infographics are meaningless and thus fake?
>only an idiot or someone with a vested interest would interpret that to "20% of men date 80% of women"
Too bad that defeatist and self-pitying young guys repeat this like a mantra and try to drag down "normies" with normal dating lives into the same bucket of crabs, too.
the inforgraphic is unsourced and isnt based on any data. not even misrepresented data. its a complete fabrication probably made in mapaint by someone on 4chan
yeah its very unfortunate. its probably a mix of unfortunate men who interpret it that way because it makes them feel better, and trolls who literally just hate society and want to fuck with the minds of young boys for the memes
I didnt just "say it was fake" I explained why its fake. it is fake. did you even read the article you posted? its clickbait garbage. please learn how to analyse data
you are probably arguing with an incel, there's no point, he's never going to change his mind. they are incapable of empathy.
>>30708>they are incapable of empathy.
In what way the subject of their argument is related to empathy?
they can't ever put themselves in another person's shoes, so they'll always, always, always try to disprove and combat a woman complaining of the same thing they love to complain about. It's stronger than themselves. They just can't even consider that women might have their own issues with dating and they refuse to hear any argument we may have. There's no point in discussing this with them.
>>29079>similar taste in music makes people romantically compatible
Did you really ask? All it takes is a human "Hey are you available?" which is fine by many. You make it sound like the only options a guy is capable of are beating around the bush vs drooling out a barely legible sentence.>>30660
Not really since I acknowledged a lot of men have a decent time with dating.
Some of the guys on this board out themselves so fast it's funny.
Hell, I've seen how fully incels complain and bitch at regular guys.
Alright. And how was that guy in any way invalidating the hardships that women might have in dating by stating the fact that women are much more picky when they choose their potential partners than men?
>>30705>The infographic is fake because it misrepresents the data, uhm… actually wait, the data itself is also fake too… and all statistics that have ever been gathered about online dating as well! >Shut up incel! Have sex!
I honestly don't understand why you are so emotionally invested in that topic. So much that you just blindly and desperately defend your preexisting position on it, either ignoring any counterarguments or calling them fake out of nowhere.
This reads word for word like a copypasta from /r9k/ with the pronouns swapped.
can you read? that infographic is fake because its not based on data not because the data is fake. I didnt claim the data was fake
and the data referenced in other articles and sited by incels is misinterpreted. Ive read the actual data and it would be immposible to draw the conclusions about the "80/20" rule from it
its not about me being emotionally invested, its about statistical fact. if anyone here is emotionally invested and ignoring counter arguments its you. I explained why its wrong. you provided no evidence for it being right other than a graph whith no source, and no information. youre probably a male who believes in this garbage and dont want to listen to why is false because it would mean its your fault you cant get a gf and not S O C I E T Y
>see him with girl and it looks like theyve stared dating
>initially sad but eventually start to move on and feel better than when I was infatuated with him
>waiting for lecture
>he glances at me a few times
>sent back into the pits of despair and confusion
>pretend not to see him, furthering my loneliness and confusion
Even just bringing out the fake infographic is completely insulting. No one asked him to do it. We are not talking about them here, but they have to make it about themselves. >hurr durr this graph I saw on braincels/r9k says that women are more picky in online dating, so that means every personal experience you just mentioned is fake>just take a guy off tinder with no profile picture and a script to right-swipe every profile or stop bitching
how is that not invalidating?
>>30738>every personal experience you just mentioned is fake>just take a guy off tinder with no profile picture and a script to right-swipe every profile or stop bitching>how is that not invalidating?
It us invalidating. Problem is, he didn't say anything like that.
He just said "X" and you dreamed up him saying "Y" as well.
You have to be literally retarded not to understand the implication of his post. This is no one's first rodeo with these types, we weren't born yesterday. There are other places on the internet where you can circlejerk on fake statistics and make all the mistenterpretations of data to your heart's content.
I need a vacation, seriously. I want to leave the country, turn off my phone and relax. But I cannot. I'm depressed, overwhelmed, whiny, tired.
I have a problem with dating where it generally takes me a while for me to get to know a person and want to let them into my social life. I’m very introverted, so there’s only so much socialization I can take in one day before I start to feel drained. After I go on a somewhat successful first date with someone, the guy usually likes to text between the first and second date, but my mentality is “I don’t really know this person that well yet. We’ve only met once. We’re not friends. We’re not lovers” and I end up not really wanting to text him back that much, because I’d prefer to get to know him more in person first. But my lack of texts end up signaling disinterest and things fizzle out. Can anyone else relate to this? I hope I’m not alone in being this way.
Can't you just honestly tell the guy "hey, I don't really like texting, I prefer to talk in person. So let's just set up another date if you're okay with that and we'll be able to talk there"?
If you phrase it righ (like you're not rejecting him) I'm sure he'll be understanding.
Just tell him you don't like texting. I hate it and when I started dating my now bf I told him not to text me, and that I would most likely ignore him if he did.
recently Ive realised my autism is not as "high functioning" as I thought it was and I feel like a disabled. now Im paranoid everyone views me as a drooling mong and I never realised
I felt like you for a long time, and then all hell broke loose within my mind at a crucial moment because I did not allow myself to take any vacation and to stop caring for a single moment.
My advice to you : Take the vacation, or it will come back to bite you in the ass later.
>>30645>All men are possibly desirable
As long as there's somebody more desperate, same for women. It's as easy as that
If you think a 5'2" bald acne-ridden fish-eyed facially deformed chubby dude could get with Charlize Theron just because he showers daily you are severely retarded tbh, or do you also think an obese woman with a Poirot mustache and greasy skin could get with Chris Evans if she washes frequently enough? Because I hope you do realize they all sound very absurd and make sense only in your mind
I know several very ugly women and men engaged in relationships, all of which with ugly partners, maybe 2 or three exceptions, seems to be the general trend that one would settle for people at a similar "level", in lack of a better word
Why do you say the data is fake when its provided by Okcupid? Why are you attacking an sexual minority? Anons conclusion on 20% rule is dishonest but women do rate 80% below average, there is no disbuting that.
OKCupid data is only valid for OKCupid. It does not represent real life dating at all. Have you ever seen men in dating sites? Women will put on their best makeup, work their angles, edit their pictures to the almost catfish point. Most men choose badly taken pictures from awkward angles, minimal grooming and the lowest possible effort, and that's for the ones who bother to show a picture at all. Go out and look around you. It just isn't true, women are not walking around with men much more attractive than they are. That is an incel fantasy. If you're going to insist on that idea then I don't know what else to tell you, you're delusional.
>>30768>women are not walking around with men much more attractive than they are
I actually always see men with women that are much more attractive than they are, but never the opposite. It makes sense though.
the data for that particular infographic doesnt come from okcupid. there is no source on the image. the "data" is plucked from thin air
the data that is from okcupid IS real data but its not whats being used in the infographic. I also previously explained the problems with the data from okcupid. namely that it was not representative of real life, and that the data doesnt even support the "80/20" rule
>Why are you attacking an sexual minority?
what? >but women do rate 80% below average
this is a misconception. its based on the idea that 5/10 is supposed to be "average", similarly to the way school grades are retroactively awarded after theyve been marked so that the amount od cs. bs and as fit a bell curve. with a subjective score there is no expectation the "average" would be the middle score because the score dictates the average, not the other way around
also what >>30768
on dating sites, men post shitty pictures with bad angles and lighting because theyre retarded. the ratings arent of the people, theyre rating the attractiveness of the IMAGE. if you see in real life ugly men can date relatively easily. of anything ugly men tend to "date above their league" more often than women
>>30768>women are not walking around with men much more attractive than they are
Honestly I see that around a lot in my area, the men are not tremendously more attractive than the women they're with but enough to see the difference. I see the opposite too but it is WAY less frequent
In which continent? I don't think I have ever even seen that in Europe. Appearance is a lot more important for women, men's value is judged by different things.
Men who date women that are more attractive than themselves are met with: "Good job for scoring a hot girl!" This kind of pairing is quite common.
Women who date men that are more attractive than themselves, however, are met with: "What does he see in her? A good-looking guy like him could do much better."
I live in Italy. Maybe it's just a thing here but the general rule seems to be that from what I have observed in two dozen+ years
Granted, there's not a huge difference in beauty, but in most couples the scale of physical appearence seems to tip a bit on the male side
That would be the response from a lot of men, the opposite however holds true too, a good looking girl with an ugly guy would be said that (or if not overtly, at least a lot would think it) "you could do much better" as well, and they'd think that an ugly girl with a good looking guy has scored high too
Ofc in all examples a lot of people would say that the ugly men or women only got a good looking partner because they have a lot of money or stuff like that
>preemptively friendzoned by yet another manlet
>thought things were going well, talked a lot and had a bunch in common
Guess I'll go die then.
At least I didn't outright ask him out so our friendship is preserved.
But I really need to stop. It's masochism at this point.
I had no idea it was possible for a woman to mansplain until I started a new class. ಠ_ಠ How do I cope with this obnoxious cunt interjecting every time I raise my hand to participate? Participation in class is 40% of the grade.>>30786
don't ever make the first move, anon. if a guy is interested, he will let you know. even the most autistic of men typically don't shy away from expressing their feelings (at least in my experience).
Friendzoned how, if I may ask? If he was not very overt about it you may have misinterpreted, happens more often than you think.
We were kind of joking around about his height (he brought it up) and I said something implying that he's cute. He hit me with a crack about me being an advocate for short men and called me a "great friend" for being supportive.
Idk. In retrosepect maybe it was the best low-risk way to clarify his intentions, since it gave him an opening if he felt the same but also wasn't too intrusive and blunt.
So I'm getting less awkward. Gotta look on the bright side!!
I texted a friend happy birthday and added cute emojis so it wasn’t a dry text. He replied with “That’s all you’re going to do?”
I’m not sure what else there is to do. I plan on giving him his gift when I see him. Maybe he thinks I’m not going to give him a gift? Should I have typed a paragraph? Now I feel bad.
Oh, I'm rarted, I didn't see your reply.
I honestly thought he might mutually be interested. He messaged me first and has made positive statements about my looks (said I'd really pull off cosplaying a character that is often found qt in /co/ circles).
I'm just assblasted since we're similar sorts of people. At least with past men I can say "we wouldn't be compatible anyway!"
Also sorry to read about you sharing a class with that girl. Participation heavy classes are garbage anyway though.
he was probably joking. message back something like >well youre not going to get your present if youre going to act like that lmao crying emoji
or>what else were you expecting wink face/tongue out emoji
if you want to be more risque
if he wasnt joking hes pretty shitty friend tbh
honestly think youre very cool for putting yourself out there so consistently. Im not brave enough to even make friends at uni lmao
Ah, I didn’t even think about that. I just wasn’t expecting that answer so I immediately thought he was upset with me. I haven’t responded to him all day today, but I think I will now. He has a boyfriend lol so the second choice is a nono.
Finally trying to escape NEETdom and treat the biggest mental issues that prevent me from working or returning to school. I'm a lot less suicidal, but my panic attacks and low attention span grew more severe. Prior to dropping out I was diagnosed with the various disorders from different psychiatrists and psychologists, but never underwent a thorough assessment that lasted more than an hour of talking. Stopped taking meds because of the cost being pricy for a NEET (~$100 monthly sans biweekly psychiatric/therapy sessions). The only facility I can afford in my city that offers this said I could take the test by November when I asked at the beginning of this month. They emailed recently saying they're packed with patients. The earliest they can accommodate me is late December with the results arriving by January.
Fuck. I just want to be a normie with an income that doesn't break down at the most irrational triggers. I hate staying at home and doing nothing. Unsure on whether to remain stagnant until December or seek a therapist for the moment. There are personal projects I can work on in the meantime, I guess. Note to self: actually execute them and not myself again.
I keep online shopping compulsively since I'm stressed, but I don't even know what I'm exactly stressed about…
I'm afraid I'm going to justify spending a lot of money since I have a job now and I've been trying to expand/refine my wardrobe.
UGH I just want to dress well but also have money and not feel financially drained.
Anyone go from jobless/student life and working and know how to manage money better?
the general advice is: even when youre income increases, your spending should remain the same. if you think its okay to increase spending proportional to income, youre always spending the same % and youre never actually getting anywhere. even if you have money now, spend it like youre broke. save/invest the extra
not saying you shouldnt buy some new clothes if the ones you have are trash, but go for quality over quantity. do a one off shop where you but a few high quality items that will last. dont just buy it because it looks nice. think before hand about the looks you want to have and base it around that
I feel so bad and guilty because my coworkers go out of their way to do things for me, but I don’t have anything to offer in return. They give gifts to me on my birthday when I didn’t give any to them (at previous companies, gift-giving among coworkers wasn’t really part of the culture). They go out of their way to drive me home when I’m drunk after work happy hours, but I can’t do the same for them because I suck at driving. I try my best to be a great and helpful coworker at work, but I can’t help but have this nagging feeling that they’ll eventually hate me because they’re putting more into our coworker relationship than I’m giving them.
you could bring in doughnuts or brownies once a month or something. would be fairly cheap. I wouldnt personally bother, but if you want to
Bear in mind that some people get a personal satisfaction out of doing things for other people, without necessarily expecting a quid pro quo.
I can't stand how emotionally dependent I am on other people.
Whenever I get attached to a particular person they have absolute 100% control over my mental wellbeing, if they show affection I'm over the moon, if they do anything that I could perceive as a negative shift in attitude towards me I'll be a sobbing mess and unable to function properly until they either say something nice again or a very long time has passed.
It's always an one-sided relationship in the sense that I care about them ten times more than it could ever be possible for them to care about me. They have other things going on in their lives and other friends to talk to, but for my autistic ass they're the only source of IRL social interaction.
I do have hobbies I try to distract myself with but it just doesn't work, nothing does, I hate how little control I have over this. I'm a grown woman stuck with the emotional intelligence of a 12 year old and there seems to be no hope of this ever changing.
It's time for the usual Sunday night panic attack !
yupppp. I'm studying for the final exam in my field to be fully licensed. I'm talking it in 3 weeks and just don't know how I'm supposed to know all this shit. sometimes my head feels literally "full" and painful after studying for too long. Getting better about taking breaks but then I get anxious/mad at myself for not studying more.
I can't wait to have my life back.
Ever since I started having a job I’ve been having suicidal ideation every single day. It’s especially bad when the alarm wakes me up in the morning and I know I’ll have to spend almost the entire day at work. My bf is also busy with college work so he barely talks to me. Sometimes I wonder if he even loves me. I feel so fucking exhausted and depressed and alone. I even thought about bringing the pillow I hug at night on my drive to work because I feel so scared and alone.
I don't want to ruin your mojo, but having recently finished my studies myself, I did not get my life back. Much the opposite in fact.
Change your sleep cycle to extend your waking hours.
Try the Pomodoro technique with a physical ticking wind up clock. I'm still testing it myself, but I do find it helps me to focus and relax/"break focus" in a highly productive manner.
Unless she's currently sleeping like 12 hours per day, I don't really see what good that would do. Going to bed at a different time doesn't mean you require less sleep.
Not in per day terms. She could for example move to a 36 hour day with 8 hours of sleep at the end.
Not only would that likely cause problems with her job due to being out of sync with the rest of the world (Assuming a 9-5 M-F schedule, getting up at 8 AM on Monday would result in needing to go to sleep at 12 PM on Wednesday in the middle of her shift), she would still be getting far less sleep than normal over the course of multiple days. Staying up for 36 hours straight is "falling asleep while driving" territory.
Anyone ever feel pressure to be successful because the rest of your family is full of screwups? I was talking on the phone with my mom last night and she was updating me on my siblings and their recent fuckups while emphasizing how happy she is that I’m almost done with school.
I feel pressured that I have to succeed so my parents have something to show for, and that I need to make a lot of money so I can take care of them. They both have a lot of health problems; I’m afraid to even leave my state for fear of being too far away if anything were to happen to them.
i can't think of anything worth saying, but then if i say nothing i'm worthless and boring to be around. too many people have been lost to the silence and distance, if not to the noise and bad ways of saying words. when i do things to learn how to live better, like hobbies or going to all sorts of places, i end up with anxiety attacks that cause me to physically retreat and often halt whatever progress i made in said activity. more to say but it's all blah blah blah. "shut the fuck up" and "grow up" kind of shit i've memorized as a mocking mantra. i'm always one inch away from getting out of this disconnection, only to have the signal bar drop to zero at last minute. then blah blah blah. get sad, get over it, let it happen again. it's never because of anyone else. i'm the problem. can't eliminate the source, and yes, i've tried and realized i can't. i can't. i should. i've tried.
Same old, same old.
No, because I'm the sibling who's screwing up (graduated recently, now a NEET) and I'm hoping my brother won't. But I don't exactly know why I think this way.
Ask yourself why you think it's important to be successful for your family and not for yourself. Maybe your parents are the kind who'd tell you as long as you live the way you want and you're happy with it, it's good enough for them.
I want to kill myself lol no one will love me how I want to be loved lol I weep and sob so violently when I drive I nearly rear end people lol I cry at work regularly lol when will this shitshow end lmao
>best friend comes over to house to sleep over
>we’re going to do a dumb fun thing, have a 3am seance in my living room because I suspect we have a ghost here
>actually scared but really excited because hanging out with friends is always fun
>plan to do study duo tomorrow as well to help each other catch up on homework
>all around good times
>fast forward to hour ago, friend gets text from boy
>boy apparently is a student at a faraway college she has a crush on who made it clear a year ago he wasn’t attracted to her except as a friend and rejected her advances
>he’s only in town (aka in the state next to us) for the weekend and texts her at fucking 9:30 at night to hang out and says he’s busy all day tomorrow and Sunday
>obvious booty call is obvious
>friend blurts out ”anon how offended would you be if I left? would you rather me stay?”
>he’s one state over so not like she’d have any time to leave for a quickie and then return, she’d have to crash at his place
>tell her to go hang out with him, because she’s made it very clear that’s where she’d rather be and I’d feel guilty keeping her here
>”but anon, I don’t want to offend you”
>we go back and forth with this for a while and she finally admits to me that she desperately wants to leave and be with him and so I told her to pack her shit and go
Idk. I know this guy just sees her as an easy lay and tomorrow she’s gonna brag to me about how good the sex was like she always does because she’s a -literal- sex addict. And like good for her I guess that she gets to be fucked sideways by the 15th guy in her life that she likes but I hate that I’m alone and sad now after being pumped for tonight and tomorrow. Call me bitter because I definitely am.
I'm sorry about that anon, you sound like a fun friend to be with. I wish I had more girl friends who I could go to planned nights out like the one you intended to have. If I were you I'd get a glass of wine and either read or play my 3DS in the bath with some nice scented candles to set the atmosphere.
>>31183>Abandoning a guaranteed good time with a good friend for what is probably going to be subpar sex with someone you're never going to see again.
Why do people do shit like this? Even if it was the best sex ever had by anyone, is a few minutes of pleasure worth the damage it'd do to your friendship and your dignity? I just don't get it. I hope things go better for you in the future, anon.
My boyfriend told me he doesn't think he ever would want to move in with me or have any real commitments with me, yet he still wants to date. I really loved him a lot and I thought we were so compatible. Yet I can't be in relationship that's not going anywhere. Why would he want to continue to date if he doesn't even think we could have any significant future together? What's even the point?
He's decided he wants to be able to sleep with you until he finds someone he'd rather sleep with more. unironically dump his ass
The funny thing is that we are long distance which makes it even less sense
Thank you anon, that sounds comfy (sadly I passed out before getting the opportunity to read/do this).>>31189>Why do people do shit like this? Even if it was the best sex ever had by anyone, is a few minutes of pleasure worth the damage it'd do to your friendship and your dignity?
Sexual addiction, which she refuses to acknowledge or get help for. She has actually ruined a lot of friendships over it because it’s fucking disgusting what she subjects herself to and it’s incredibly hard to watch. This is the first time she’s ever blown me off like this though.
He wants to end it but is too lazy to do it himself. If I were you I would date other people while pretending to still be in a relationship until he finally admits he wants to break up. Or just ghost him immediately. He doesn't care about you at all.
don't date other people that's mean. just break up with him first.
And he's not being mean by telling her he never wants to have anything serious with her? He doesn't care. Dating other people won't make him sad, it's just to waste his time like he wasted hers.
Isn't this assumption implicit in long distance relationships? Like most LDRs, he wants to have an online 'relationship' but doesn't want to escalate it beyond that or doesn't think it would be possible / work out.
>bf's friend is moving out to move in with his gf, lease is up in ~5 months>hope for chance to move in with my bf, feels natural that he will follow the pattern>he just tells me that he offered to let this pity case friend move in with him instead of me>said friend's financial situation is turbulent at best, whereas I have a job and can contribute financially>both feel this will end catastrophically for him as the friend in question is irresponsible, and peeved that I wasn't his first choice>can't say anything about it because he's a pity case and bf's "best friend">have never even met him and don't know his name
I should have just stayed single. Giving your heart to another person only ends in being wounded, after all. And it's the worst if the other party doesn't even realize how badly they have injured you.>>27563
iktf. Other people are absolute hell and half the time I wonder if I wouldn't be better off alone. This current bf is my last attempt. If it falls through I'm giving up and dedicating myself to my own aspirations and enjoyment. I'm tired of trying. This one has a ton of great qualities and it, logically, should be the ideal match. If this fails then there is scant to no hope.
I miss in the old days where you got the fuck married and MADE it work. Long courtships and divorce were mistakes. You can waste years with someone and it ends over something pitifully trivial. It's a reiteration of the throw-away culture. I want stability and resolution, I want a guarantee, and that's all impossible in modern dating culture. You can give up your youth and dreams for the sake of a man only for him to cast you to the curb because he's too lazy to make effort to reconcile a small difference.
iktf. I'm extremely bored and unfulfilled at my job. It's very entry level, pretty much thoughtless data entry. But I don't "qualify" for anything on the next level because I always get outbid by some boomer applying for it who has 30 years of experience but can't send an email without screwing up. I feel trapped. I'm trying to learn a new skill to pivot into a related field but there's never going to be a reliable bet of getting a job in it. I despise work. The money isn't even good, I am worked like a slave and the work is mind-numbing.
But if I complain to my bf he says I sound miserable and he doesn't want to hear it because it stresses him out. He has a fulfilling, very well compensated job that allows him to be creative and have a measure of authority, and he spends half the day playing video games or on his phone. He was not qualified to get that job, either, he got in with nepotism, and it feels unfair. But if I complain that peers are getting better jobs than me with fewer qualifications he just tells me not to compare myself to others. How can't I when I'm poor and miserable?
I cry out of frustration often because of the dilemma. I feel hopeless and miserable. But my bf just wants a happy little pet poodle, and to not have to deal with the inner turmoil of a human being, so I can't talk about it to him without his talking down to me and making me feel guilty for bringing his mood down. Well, sorry. Sorry I feel like a failure. Sorry I feel trapped and downtrodden. I'm not allowed to have a heart, I should just put on a dress and a smile and be an empty headed decoration.
And it's not even just him, all of humanity it can be said that they don't want to deal with the baggage of another person, to add their troubles to their own, that's universal. There is no "dump him and find someone else" because no one but sympathising fellowly-miserable anons are interested in hearing my woes. No, let me just suffer in silence.
Every day I think about suicide, that's the extent to which I despise my job, and no matter how much I apply I can't get any better because I'm competing with people who have 30 years of fucking experience for a job one tier above entry level. I feel suffocated.
I agree with >>31194
Men do this thing where they string you along just to retain access to your pussy. He's using you and wasting your time. Men think their dick is the most important thing in the entire universe and ruining someone else's life just to get their dick wet is not only justified, but so much a given that it doesn't bear consideration. They don't even think of it. They're worse than preditors. They're users and manipulators. Dump him immediately, you deserve better. He's an immature fuckboi who thinks he can be a teenager forever.
i don't know the situation but from an outsider's point of view it kind of sounds like he gave his friend the move in because he has a harder financial situation. maybe they have a long history together? it sounds like your bf might not have known about much this could have meant to you. anyway, sorry about the situation, i feel like every time i get hurt by a boy i feel stupid for letting myself get to that point.>>30845
this for me but tonight. i hope you're doing better than 2 weeks ago!
thank you. It's because the friend's financial situation is hard that it makes so little sense to me. He's essentially living on his savings at this point and can't work for medical reasons. And from my viewpoint, though I may be callous, he's taking a large liability on his shoulders and could end up bankrupt himself trying to suport a sinking ship. Yes it's sad but he's just a friend, not even his mother or anything like that, and even if it were his own mother one would hold reservations due to the sheer weight of the potential financial burden.
But oh well. My place may be a shithole but it's my very comfy shithole. He can flush his money down the toilet playing nanny if he likes. It makes me sound terrible to criticise him for being a nice person, but what about me? Sure I'm selfish, but I feel as his gf I have some entitlement to be selfish in that regard.
Plus his friend will literally never leave the apartment which will make our sex life awkward. His current roommate is gone more often than not.
Sorry for being a horrible person, thank you for your reply. I simply got my hopes up prematurely that I might progress forwards. Now I will remain in limbo while another person takes my spot.
Have you considered talking to him about the situation at all? Or is he completely in the dark and you're retaining all this emotion?
Every day is unenjoyable and i don’t have any real reason to get up every morning
vent/help re creepy friend, sorry for novel
I've known this girl for years and she always had really weird manipulative habits. She's diagnosed with bipolar and probably also has some other mental health stuff going on, but mostly she's just insanely insecure about being the absolute coolest person in her circles, and will come up with anything to seem interesting and exceptional. Everyone else eats this up and just shrugs and says she has no reason to lie or she didn't mean it in a bad way, because she's uncannily talented at playing to their empathy by acting really warm and childlike on the surface, but ughhh. A non-exhaustive list:
- When she arrived to the meetups of a fandom forum that was our shared social circle, she always had a story about how [this gentleman on the train she talked quantum physics with] or [this young lad who heard her sing while she was swinging at a playground] or [some other random guy in some romantic MPDG situation] gave her flowers, though she never had any flowers with her.
- She used to keep a physical list of guys who had confessed feelings to her, and bragged about this.
- She once wrote a NaNoWriMo novel in one day but her memory stick broke. The next year she did it in three days, and lost it in some other way.
- She often won the lottery and made offhand comments about donating half to charity, and spending half on [whatever random frivolous thing she was spending on].
She always had a specific problem with me, since I kind of occupied the same social niche in those circles (I was a very LoLrAndOm teen), and tried to one-up me whenever possible with fictional stories, made desperate jabs whenever I spoke about something people found cool, subtly mocked my acne, etc. I was a bit annoyed but still well-liked by mutual friends so I mostly just shrugged it off, and after I moved on from those circles, I figured she will tone it down if I drop contact with her.
Unfortunately she still tries to keep in touch, she likes all my FB posts and sends me messages about how she'd love to hang out and how she'd like to know if she insulted me or something, which I never respond to (I haven't blocked her because I worry she'll escalate things if explicitly rejected). As I've become kinda successful and dropped her I think she feels she needs something out of me, at least social approval or some reassurance that she can get to me.
I recently moved to a huge trendy city in another country which she has always loved, and a day after I posted this on FB, she posted about a job interview in this city coming up. I guess I'm kind of worried because maybe she hasn't gotten over me by now even though I've done nothing at all to provoke her, and it seems like she should have other stuff going on in her life too by now. I just want her to leave me alone, not try to be my friend after bullying me for so long. I doubt she actually has an interview here, probably she's just trying to make it seem totally normal and not special to have a career here (I predict she'll "get the job" but "decide to turn it down" for some virtuous reason), but if she does or finds another way to move here, how do I get her to leave me alone instead of figuring out where I live and stabbing me in a dark alleyway and wearing my skin?
>>31290>I recently moved to a huge trendy city in another country which she has always loved
Is it Japan, anon? lol
lmao no, no weebs were harmed in the making of this drama
Block her. If it escalates, call the police for stalking or harassment. If she's not even in your day to day social circles how is this even a question?
I worry she will flip out and do destructive social shit like start rumours since I'm sure she'll feel slighted and get more obsessed with getting back, but I don't think she would break the law. She's just extremely good at manipulating and everyone always sides with her bc she appears so warm and innocent, and I don't have a good grasp of Machiavellian socializing so she could convince anyone of anything as far as I know. (I once complained about her to my otherwise awesome sister and she was like hmmmm I guess but have you actually ever caught her red-handed in a lie? No sis, I just understand basic probability, Hugh Grant lookalikes aren't actually handing out roses of various colours to her every weekend, why doesn't anyone see this.)
I'm not in contact with most of those people anymore so it wouldn't matter that much, but she dated my brother a few years back (lol) so my family and some close friends like her a lot. My mom is always about how lovely and friendly she is and how I should keep in touch with her more. My bro is semi sick of her, but not sure if even he realized all the lies so maybe he wouldn't be confident that I'm correct.
But you're right, probably it's for the best, and I'm sure my family would believe me eventually even if she cried to them about how I'm mean ; ___ ; and did something really hurtful to her ; ____ ; but she can of course forgive me and actually even wants me to have her family's maple pancake recipe because she cares about me ; ____ ; fgsfds. And the rest of the mutual friends don't matter as much now that I moved elsewhere anyway, if they really want to believe her. I kind of don't want to give her a reaction even if it's just blocking her because AFAICT she wants to know I'm bothered, but probably blocking wastes less time than waiting it out. Ghhfffhh
Don't forget to add extraordinarily humble
I'm fucking spent by having bpd. I am lucky in many ways; only once in a blue moon will I show that I'm upset at the people I care about. The toll it takes on me feels unbearable. I have to filter through so many irrational thoughts, I jump to irrational conclusions that fuck with my emotions, and I consider possibilities based upon other people's words and/or actions that are impractical but also make me depressed and internally inconsolable. I hate feeling like I'm an inflamed wound where the tiniest thing a person says or does could set me off internally. I'm sick of dealing with all these internal frustrations in private (i.e. cutting, slamming my head against a wall, etc.). I don't tell anyone I do that, though my boyfriend knows because we shower together.
I feel like my function is to shelter everyone from myself. My bf says I'm like gunpowder and it hurts because I feel like he's right and it's not like I even tell him every little thing that bothers me, I try to wait, allow time for me to filter through and decide if something is worth me bringing up, usually it's not so I suffer alone, feeling like shit because I know that whatever bothered me is not in reality a problem, but my mind interprets it as a threat or the possibility of a problem, but it still evokes such sadness and anger in me, so I have to ride it out alone.
I just want to wither away and die swiftly.
I get depressed when I read some of the stuff men write about women. For instance, a self-admitted incel complained about attractive women not being nerdy. Several people answered that there are, in fact, nerdy women out there and he was like, I'm friends with many of them but they're all hideous. They probably don't even know OP called them hideous online.
I bet they aren't even hideous, probably just like bottom row in this.
Men are weird. Some even go out of their way to pursue women they aren't attracted to, then blame the women for it. I don't get it.
That image feels like a troll image considering only the bottom row appears to be candid pictures and not, like, photoshoot pictures.
I don't even see a difference between the top and middle rows.
I'm 29 and I haven't had a partner since I was 17 and it's taking it's toll on me. I've got a degree and a good job that I like, but my life feels empty. I think I also started hoarding tea and teaware as some kind of an outlet.
I'm also super dependent on the few online friends I have. One of them recently got into a relationship and I started feeling jealous, miserable and abandoned. I've stood and helped this person for years and now I fear that I'm going to be obsoleted, even though they've been in relationships before and we stayed friends.
I feel like I need to find myself a partner, but my profession and interests don't make it easy to find one. I'm trying to get out of this trap, but sometimes I feel like I'm not gonna last long enough.
Why do I start disliking men after they like me back?
Why am I upset that the one I pursued online, then rejected, has found a girl? Why can't I like this guy I know irl who I pursued and now am turned off by since he clearly likes me?
@ myself fuck you
You really shouldn't mind any comments like that.
Because you let yourself do that. If you want to like them, like them.
>>31354>just stop having brain problems
You should consider a career in therapy.
I know exactly what you mean, I do the same exact thing and it drives me crazy. I read somewhere that it's a sign of low self esteem but I don't know what to do about it
Will it, anon. If neckbeards can fuck their brains into believing their waifu is real, then you can unfuck your brain into liking this guy. It's all in the mind.
Had to do a group presentation but nobody did anything and left everything for the very last minute, and imo they're still not doing what we were supposed to do, so fuck them I'm not even going to class. They can make a fool of themselves and get lectured by the professor on their own. God I fucking hate group projects. Now I'm gonna get a much lower grade because of these dumb fuckers.
That really sucks. At least getting a lower grade beats having to do everything.
Damn, that sucks. What kind of class is it?
is it normal for boyfriends to make fun of your physical appearance? my last two never did and were kind about the unfeminine parts of my body, but my current one draws attention to and makes fun of said features. it unnerves me and it makes me sad because i've had to work hard to overcome my own insecurity about those features, and it makes me feel sick I ever let him see me vulnerable and naked. am i just too sensitive? he knows i've been anorexic so i feel like he could figure out i'd be insecure about every part of my body in general. he knows i used to get made fun of for being ugly. i just don't understand. i want to feel at least enough, i don't even need to feel attractive.
It's not normal, for a bf or any other person. But some people are just like that. I knew a guy who would constantly point out other people's physical defects to be "funny", and a friend who used to do it when we first met to break the ice.
I've also seen men who do it to make their more attractive gfs feel bad about themselves so they would think they're not good enough to find someone better.
You should talk to him and ask him to stop because it's making you feel bad. If he didn't mean any harm he should stop, but if he keeps doing it he's intentionally trying to lower your self esteem.
No, that's not normal at all. Especially if he knows you have a history of an eating disorder. Sorry you're going through that. Perhaps do what >>31383
suggested. Though honestly, as someone who's been in a relationship like that before, I would just break up with someone the second they made fun of me for something out of my control. Just because I have no tolerance to put up with that anymore. Anyway, goodluck anon, I hope things work out for you. If he doesn't stop please don't stick with him, you deserve better than that.
Thank you, anons. I wanted to make sure I wasn't crazy for feeling the way I do. I sent him some long messages explaining how I felt, and he said he was sorry and he thanked me for communicating my boundaries, but we'll see how it goes long-term.
It's weird because he's told me how he was called ugly as a kid and it really fucked with him, and I've never made fun of his appearance and I wouldn't even think to in the first place regardless of his past. Part of that is because I'm one of those people who just sees their partner as beautiful, and I find even what might be considered an imperfection endearing, but it sucks knowing he views me with the same fine-toothed comb I do.
What really hurt was when I've shown him pictures of me in the past, he makes fun of them and in ways I disliked my appearance at those times, whereas when other people have seen old photos of me they don't seem to think I looked as terrible as I feel I did. It makes me feel like I really am as ugly as I perceive myself to be since my boyfriend, without knowing my opinions on these photos, came to the same conclusions about my same insecurities.
It feels unfair to me I see him as perfect appearance-wise and it's like I'm subpar. I don't understand why he is with me, it makes me feel like I'm being pitied or something. He's told me he thinks I'm more attractive than him but I feel like that must be a lie from his side to make me feel better since he's noticed so many defects in my appearance.
>>31396>he was called ugly as a kid and it really fucked with him
Sounds like he's coping with his past issues by imitating the people who called him ugly.
Or he's found certain internet communities where people brutally nitpick and judge every single facial feature and he's too much of an autist to leave that behaviour to/on shitposting forums where it belongs.
I'm thinking of leaving my six year relationship and I'm terrified. My bf hasn't done anything specific to cause this, it's just that we got together when we were young (late teens) and now as we get older, I'm realizing I've grown up and he hasn't. We have different values, he's much more childish than I am, has no ambition to pursue anything, and holds me back in a lot of regards.
The problem is that I'm so scared of hurting him. I've been his entire life for six years. He has friends and a job and money, but at the end of the day his world revolves around me and he makes that very, very clear. This is his first serious relationship (and mine too). He's not that bright and he's extremely emotionally-driven, so I don't know how he'll move on if I do end up breaking it off.
I can either shatter the life we've built up together (we've always talked about marriage, been living together for about four years now) so that I can move on with my adult life, or suck it up and hope he miraculously changes.
I've thought about leaving before but this is the first time I've actually felt the strength to do it. I'm so fucking scared of hurting him– I cannot stress how much this would ruin his life– but at the same time, I don't know if I should let this go on any longer, as it's stifling me.
tl;dr: I'm trying to leave six year relationship but the thing holding me back is that it would literally ruin my bf's life.
Thanks anon. I'm definitely planning on having a conversation with him in the near future. I'm making a list of things to talk about, which is actually really helping to alleviate some of the tension/anxiety that's been constantly burdening me these days.
Maybe he wants you to grow some thicker skin.
People like her boyfriend don't even know what thick skin is. They're made out of stone.
Poking fun at other people's appearances or shortcomings is something like a funny pastime to a lot of guys and they can be absolutely savage about it. Reason being that they lack kindness and empathy, almost to a sociopathic level. They pride themselves on it while mocking humane guys for being "weak". There's no point taking them seriously because they may look and talk like but aren't really humans.
I used to be called ugly by people in high school, they'd go into detail why, and it didn't bother me as much. I'd laugh in their faces even at times, because some of them were clearly just trying to be mean. It did add data points to what my level of attractiveness is to other people, but it didn't seriously bother me. I get a fair amount of compliments
related to my physical features by strangers of both sexes now and it doesn't make me feel more attractive than I was in high school. I've accepted a lot of my flaws and how I'll never measure up to models and the like.
It just bothers me my own partner is like that especially since I've told him my history.