I'm depressed from the lack of sex in my relationship. I just want a person who will fuck me at least 2x a day, I feel physically affected from the lack of it. I hate myself for always getting with men who have low libidos
Does masturbating not make up for it? (I get that it's not the same as sex though)
My dad died yesterday and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.
would once a day not be enough to keep you satisfied?
Thank you. He had a good long life and I think he was ready to go. I'm really going to miss him.
I can see that you found sites where I tend to spend my time on.
I wouldn't mind to reconnect with you once again. I was thinking if we could just honestly talk. After that, we can still continue or just close this decisively.
I actually sent you some messages few weeks ago, but you didn't respond.
I didn't forget about you.
I made enemies with the wrong person at work. There’s a girl at my work who’s really popular with the bigshots but has a toxic personality. Always stabbing people in the back, using people then ignoring them when they outlast their use, being quick to change sides when convenient, and spreading nasty gossip about people who get on her bad side. But she schmoozes with the bosses a lot, so the big bosses love her. I’ve been kind of a doormat around her in the past to stay on her good side, but recently said something by accident that ticked her off, and now she has a vendetta against me. Really don’t know how to navigate this situation.
I would say fuck it and fight her, but I understand that you probably want to keep your job.
dumb but i'm sad my spotify wrapped is so basic
my top genre is pop lol
i started my period today and i feel so fucking sad and pathetic right now. annoying. i might just go to sleep.
naw, just tamps. do you use cups?
No, but someone told me they were better than tampons. I forget why.
I’m having 1 month break from university. This morning i was sitting in my room, the door of my room suddenly slammed shut while my mom was talking on the phone and she got mad and literally point a big ass knife at my face and hit me. She said i the one who slammed the door. I
Sorry, i was crying so i messed up my typing
:( It's ok, anon. Everything will be better. Just be sure to get out of the house. Ok?
I really want to break up with my bf but he has nothing besides me and I'm honestly afraid he might kill himself at this point if I do. I hate this and myself. >>31748
I feel for you anon, let it all out. Not being able to trust your own mother is such an awful feeling. Please be safe.
thanks guys, i'll do my best to not get hit like this anymore
Why do you want to break up with him?
cups are insanely good, they make my period so much easier. you can't feel them at all when they're in, they can be worn for 12 hours, and they don't have the TSS risk of tampons. also way more environmentally friendly if you're into that. 100% recommend to anyone who can use them
On a business trip for the first time in my life. I feel lonely and nervous alone in my hotel room. Reminds me of the first night I lived in college dorms. Wish I were home instead.
Still obese and breathing.
I've been replaying this one scene in my mind for a long time. One of my childhood friends had where she announced her diabetes. I don't recall if it was Type 1 or 2. And that happened to just a kid barely in school. Was only a 'weird thing' back then, now it scares me way more in retrospect.
>Oh you got diabetes? Oh no, I should try avoiding eating that much sugar.
>chow down giant bowls of ground beef potato stew every goddamn dinner
>eat more canned and frozen foods then then entire family combined
>Gonna need Large now, least it's not XXXL haha.
>XL pizzas? sure why not
I was finally getting used to "big gal" status in my town. Of course shitass retail jobs had to throw the wrench in. And now I'm fatter than my dad, and probably the old friend as well. And I still don't even like or know food that much. Okay time to eat some canned chili again.
You can change your path, anon. It's not predicted.
for some reason this broke me reading it. anon, you definitely have binge eating disorder. you can try and get help for it.
this is fucked of me to suggest, but alcohol (try sticking to liquor and diet sodas) and cigarettes help.
>>31952>replacing obesity with alcoholism and lung cancer
You're just trying to get her killed aren't you?
She'll look better and feel better too, it's a win win
don't do that.>>31935
Is it possible for you to purchase other groceries for you to eat so you can mix up your diet? If not, I’d suggest training yourself to eating smaller portions of what you regularly eat while also incorporating some kind of exercise to start off slow. Going for a walk or doing easy at-home exercises after you eat are both good options. I believe in you.
Well, what do you choose between fat and unhealthy and thin and unhealthy? Being healthy is not a realistic option.
There's always something shitty going on in my partner's life that's one thing after another, emotionally, financially, family problems, depression, "executive dysfunction"… We hardly have time for eachother now to the point where I'm often left wondering why we're even still together, except for the fact that they keep saying stuff like how the only thing keeping them together is the fact that I'm around.
This sucks. I care about them a lot but I'm not even in a relationship anymore, I'm just someone helping someone else barely manage day to day, ad infinitum. Don't be like me guys.
If you’re not happy you shouldn’t stay in the relationship. You’re going to have to let them know how you really feel. Just rip it off like a bandaid.
An alternative to the other anon's suggestion is to tell them how it makes you feel, and that you can't deal with it. Being honest in a relationship means to be honest also about how you feel and what bothers you, otherwise it bottles up and destroys the relationship (though I'm probably in no position to preach such an idea, since I feel like I address the problem all too late, only because it takes me forever to realise there is a problem). You care for them, if they care too, they will lesson the emotional load on you
That's what a relationship is about. Going through the good and bad times with your partner, no matter how bad it gets.
It just sounds heartless to break up with them at this point of their life but then again I don't know the whole situation.
I'm sad that I'm sad. I'm sad the depression is ruining my life. I'm sad that I'm always tired. When my new healthcare kicks in I should probably get medication. But I don't know if that'll help bury the feeling of dread I get over simply having to act like functioning human. But I need it to help because I might lose my job other wise.
I'm poor and sad and things will only get worse from here
I'm not really interested in that level of tactlessness of breaking up right now. There really is no 'right' time to bring up real talk (for months, actually almost two years now,) there's always something going on to the level where I know anything short of full time emotional support let alone a breakup is going to shatter them.
The plan right now is to see them to their next safe, somewhat stable space of mind and bring things up then. Of course, that'll feel shitty anyways, knowing that they'll have just made it to an emotionally stable spot only to probably enter a few months of panic attacks and worse from me bringing up a serious discussion… Sucks. But hey that's what a vent thread is for. Not asking for advice, just venting.
why am i so autistic i wish i could just socialize like a normal person i feel like a leper constantly, fuck me
Thanks for the chart. I'm not the best judge of size so hopefully it'll help.
Haven't really eaten out in a long while, delis aside. Could sell off the needlessly large cups in the kitchen as a start.>>31952
Nah, not at the degree of bumming alcohol again. If my life's the most boring downhill slide, my older sibling manages to make me look as stable as an evergreen.
I ruined my life, picking up the pieces and trying to fix what I did is so fucking hard but at least I learned a lesson I'll never forgot. Things will get better, I know they well, I just have to move forward towards the future.
I'm so upset that a man who approached me, said "I like you" out of the blue once, and even asked me to a movie (which isn't happening now of course because fuck that torture), was in a fucking relationship the whole time.
He even lied to me by saying he rarely interacted with girls in the past AND is marked single on facebook. Uh, you have a girlfriend?
I can't tell if he was leading me on for the attention, was planning to cheat (but he made a public vaguely romantic post about her, which is why I asked and found out), or if he's just plain socially inept.
I'm losing my fucking mind.
I'm moving between apartments while working full time as my husband in the middle of preparing for finals. I have no friends I can ask for help and I don't feel like I can do anything properly. I haven't sleep well in three days and I keep getting stuck in thought loops. I don't know how I'm supposed to manage all this while being in a new place and my things all being packed away.
>trust someone else enough to share my wishes and needs, exactly once
>they are immediately used as leverage to pressure and control me
Welp, back to becoming an ice cold pragmatic machine, I guess. Fuck everyone and fuck relationships in particular.
No, I am not jealous of happy couples. ;_;
It's not that I cant get up early. Rather I don't want to be awake so I force myself to sleep more. I keep naturally waking up but I force myself to go back to sleep. Then when I finally do rise, it think it makes me feel more tired. Its a big reason why I am often late to work, I just don't want to function.
>bf cheated on me once
>forgive him because I'm a doormat
>he kept doing it
>realize that I deserve better and dump him
>he texts me begging to come back and saying how much he loves me
>less than a week later he has a new gf
I feel so stupid. I still miss him a lot, despite knowing that I did the right thing. I really want to talk with him and go back to when we were both happy.
>>32037>go back to when we were both happy.
You were never happy to begin with
I really can't motivate myself to study. I really need to though, I'm doing awful in class tests at the moment, and if I don't get good enough grades in summer exams I won't get into the uni I want to go to… I think about this but I still can't be motivated :(
Something went wrong, he is trying to avoid me now. It makes me sad.
This is gonna sound cringey but bear with me, I am extremely inexperienced with love, and hopefully someone on c.c understands. I just went on a second date with a guy and we held hands with interlocked fingers and he hugged me and kissed me on the hair. I felt repulsed. I don’t know why I feel this way. Am I a lesbian? Or was I just not attracted to him? What’s wrong with me? Has anyone else felt this way before?
I wonder if I have talked to people I know on these boards. If I did, the didn't recognize my posts because the way I type is different from the way I talk and they probably assumed that bad posts were mine because god knows what they think about me.
TL;DR: whining about shitty misconceptions.
Probably not. This is a small board so the chances of that happening are low.
I want to kill myself. I'm done with school. Nothing sustains me. I have no interests or hobbies. I don't like my family or my singular friend and my boyfriend just make me feel terrible about myself on accident. I hate work. There is no reason to continue.
I just kind of want to stop eating. It's too tiresome to feed myself. I just hate feeling dizzy and tired because of it.
People around me are so weird.
First they really pushed for me to get a good carreer. And now that I finally found a job that I like and I'm very successful at they criticise me all the time: "You are working too much, you are destroying yourself, you are a workaholic, it's not worth it"
I'm not going to risk messing up my carreer just because people are sad I don't visit anymore. It's always about what I can do for them, never about what I want.
The good old "damned if you, damned if you don't." Can't please everybody, someone always has something to criticize, so just please yourself.
Get some simple takeout. Nothing too oily. Chinese maybe. It'll be more tiresome to cope with dehydration and hunger pangs without 'em.>>32086
In a similar boat. I still haven't found a reason, but I'm still around. Life hasn't improved nor degraded. Circumstances could be worse.>>32048
Could be either of the two. What's clear is that it probably won't work out between you two, unless your emotional attraction to him persists. Do you like the idea of or have imagined romantic encounters? If not, then it could be an asexual thing. >>32043
More fishes worth your ocean in the sea.>>32042
Honing discipline and grit is easier said than done. Put in a bit of work every few hours. Study with a friend who can hold you accountable. Get yourself in a mindset and environment where you can focus. Good luck!>>32006
Take care of one thing at a time! You've probably done some of it though in between these six days. Maybe even get out of the apartment to walk out and focus on something beyond the thought loops. You can do it.
You are really nice person anon, thank you for your kind words.
The 2010s were the worst decade in every way, only shit trends and mindsets. The only good thing that came with it was technology.
I think I’m too insecure to be in a relationship. I was already insecure before I got into one, but it’s different now. I love my boyfriend, I really do, but the fear of him waking up one day and telling me he doesn’t find me attractive anymore scares the shit out of me and makes me want to push him away.
He doesn’t know because I haven’t communicated about this with him, but I plan on opening up to him when I next see him. All of this will probably seem silly to him because he tells me he loves me all the time, but as someone who got bullied and had toxic friends I find it hard to believe him most of the time.
I wish I was swallowed.
Shit i felt that in my bone but sometimes just think about what you have right now and be happy that you have someone because not everyone has someone to love
Damn I just came here to post something similar. I've always been insecure but things have gotten infinitely worse since I got my first bf. These feelings are further exacerbated by the fact that he openly lusts over models and hot celebrities of a certain body type (thin with huge breasts). By lust I mean checks subreddits and instagrams dedicated to lewds of specific girls on a daily basis and even admins discords that leak nudes from their patreons. I'm doing my best to be attractive as I can for him but there's no way I can compete with god tier genetics and it makes me feel sick to my stomach knowing he likely spends a good half of the day fantasizing about those women.
He's very affectionate and often says he loves me and is very happy with me and while I wouldn't suspect him of actually cheating I feel inadequate as fuck, as if he were dating me because he couldn't get anyone "better". I have 0 previous romantic experience and 0 idea if I am overreacting to something that might be a common thing people with self-esteem easily get over. I mean it's just fap material, maybe I shouldn't be thinking about it so much. I use porn to get off too sometimes, I'd just feel weird being this openly dedicated to specific people, especially ones that don't look anything like my partner, while in a relationship. I honestly don't know who should stop, him doing that or me being insecure.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I honestly think he should stop doing that because it’s a bit weird and I’m sure he wouldn’t like it if you were doing what he was doing.
Update: I ignored my boyfriend yesterday and slept my Friday away because I was so sad. I didn’t go see him today either because I didn’t feel like seeing him. I think I am better off alone. I don’t know yet.
I don't know what I want to do. I don't seem to have a good grasp of my values or wants. There are things that I find interesting (drawing, video game design, psychology) but I never seem to act on it. I beat myself up over it which doesn't make sense nor help. I really need to start taking action and not overthinking things. It's a hard trap to get out of but nothing impossible, I think if I just start acting more often it should start shifting slowly, but I have no way of knowing which is the awkward part. I dislike that feeling but I suppose it got ingrained into me as a child so I'm used to it and thus it is comforting and familiar but ineffective. I really need to perform actions until I find the ones that bring me out of my head on command.
he sounds like a porn addicted coomer anon. be careful. they can't experience intimacy and pleasure like other people do because his brain is high on idealized sexual images basically. liking the occasional skinny big breasted bimbo is normal but the other things you said aren't.
You should trust your instincts, he's not necessarily a bad guy but he's definitely not compatible with you. Attraction is mostly genetic, and your body is telling you any kids you have with him will probably have a poor immune system etc., and that's not going to change.
Yes, your body can tell if someone's immune system is complimentary to your own genetics by their smell and taste.
I dated a guy for like two months and we didn't even go out that much. But it just felt that we had some kind of deep connection or shit like that. Nevertheless, he tried to fucking ghost me (dude, we see each other two times a week in class, this is stupid), just straight up stopped texting me and if I texted he replied as if I was some girl having an unrequited crush on him. It was so insulting. In the end, I tried to fix stuff and we literally broke up over text. It was two or maybe three months ago, and I cut almost all lines of communication, didn't check his telegram meme channel (didn't leave it, but got it into the archive) and shit like that. But recently I've been feeling pretty low, and started missing him. No, like REALLY missing him. I fucked over another guy (who's been way nicer to me than my ex was but I just didn't feel anything) because of that. Last night, I wrnt through my archived chats and saw my ex's channel and I just couldn't resist to check it. And god I didn't even think about ut, but he's got a new girl. And he loves her so much, he writes poems about her (and posts them in his meme channel. Lol), he draws her, he just looks so happy with her. She isn't even that cuter than me. It breaks my heart one more time and I just feel so disgusted and angry with myself because they are such a good match and I'm the loser. It's terrible, I can't sleep and the only thing I want to do is cry all the time.
Holy fuck Anon, leave. No matter what other people say, it's not insecure to expect exclusivity in a monogamous relationship. Your partner who claims to love you shouldn't be overtly lusting over other women especially in front of you. It is seriously disrespectful. Do you think a guy who is going after his dream girl would act like that? It's one thing to think "wow, they're attractive" and leave it and that but it's another thing for them to dedicate a significant portion of their lives looking for material and jacking off to this shit. No matter what cumbrains and pickmes tell you, it DOES have an a huge negative effect on their ability to pair-bond and be intimate with you.
Guys compulsively looking at porn, instathots, etc is a HUGE red flag that should not be ignored. I don't give a shit that it's normalized to break your brain and dick now, it's still not healthy behavior and he will not be able to give you the intimacy and emotional connection you want.
Seconding this. Those addicted to porn bristle whenever I bring it up, but I really do think porn is doing more damage to our relationships than we realize.
I'm tired that lately everything seems to be hyper-sexual or hyper-violence. Like sex and or violence and rage is being blasted everywhere.
Then I realized that's just how humans have always been.
So really I'm just tired of humans.
same it's like a big PvP zone of raging apes flinging their shit at each other and fucking whatever they see if they like it or not
but the few good people give me hope
I'm just waiting until humans evolve into something better.
Thanks for the responses, I think you're right. I always thought it seemed unhealthy and harmful as fuck to browse porn on a daily+ basis but figured it's become so "standard" now that I'd have a hard time finding someone who didn't so I should just deal with it. I realize now that I think I'd rather be alone than feel like this. Sex is a normal thing and so is looking at attractive people but I believe it's completely destructive for humans to be bombarded by this stimuli all the fucking time.
This'd be much easier for me to deal with if he were just a douchebag going out of his way to hurt me or make me feel sad/jealous but I genuinely believe that's not the case here, he just has a horribly warped view and absolutely no tact. His mother who he's very close with was a model that starred in porn mags and went through several plastic surgeries so I imagine that contributed to the normalization of porn and pursuit of a media-defined "physical perfection" in his mind from a very young age. I am his first gf as well and he seemed honestly surprised and apolegetic for days when I pointed out some of his comments on my appearance hurt me. He's just completely oblivious to certain issues and will likely remain oblivious until I tell him so it's high time I brought this one up. I do not know if he can understand me fully but I hope he can at least draw conclusions for the sake of his own future, even if it ends up not having me in it.
I'm super happy and excited. Everything will be fine.
Buy protein powder. It's fuel and it's simple and quick to prepare.
You could also look into stuff like Soylent, which are already ready to drink.
>accidentally made brief eye contact with girl or young woman who was alone
>might've been an American (they live in my town in Europe)
>heard her mumble under her breath when I went past her
>sounded like "egg" or "eck"
I didn't think much of it at that time but of course when I came home, I started worrying about it: If her mumbling had anything to do with me, what did she say? Did she really say eck? Or was it "fake" or something similar to that? Or a longer word ending on -eck? Did I give off weird vibes or was it because I don't look full European?
I should've asked her directly about it and exposed myself as a nutcase.
Suppose she did say something related to you. Would it matter what she said, or why she said it? How would that information be useful to you?
Would you really change your behavior/appearance/etc over one muttered comment from someone you don't even know?
If you can, I think it'd be easier for you to simply assume that such things don't have to do with you, unless outright stated.
Maybe she had Tourette's and it was a verbal tic or something, you don't know.
Now it's sort-of official (as in: I didn't really tell you what exactly was going on):
My husband fucked some dirty posh whore in some fucking park at night.
What irates me even more is that I knew from the same day on, but my husband insisted there was "nothing", they just took a nice little walk and that I had to believe him because anythoing else would be malicious assumption.
I think I'm gonna read their chatogs I saved and wallow in misery.
I hate both of them so much. My husband at least has a history of great qualities and also forgiveness against similar (though not as extreme) behaviours from my teenage past self, but that whore can go and die in a fire.
>>32213>cucked by husband and won't leave
Welcome to the club
the world does not revolve around you, anon. she probably didn't even notice you. get your head out of your own ass. god i hate people like this who take everything personally
you were a teenager
back then, I think a grown man should know how to act like a decent human being. please get rid of him. This is why I don't ever want to be married and shackle myself to someone who will end up being a waste of time.
Yeah, you're right. Thanks for the helpful words.>>32245
It's the other way round: My world revolves around her. We noticed each other when we looked at each other. And well, some people are insecure. No need to be an ass about it.
I mean, I look at a lot of people without noticing them.
>My world revolves around her.
You make brief eye contact with some random person and they make a random noise, and you find a way to make it about yourself. You should stop this, it's not healthy.
Sounds like you deserve each other.
How does one look "European"? You sound like a yank yourself.
Everyone what's me to go on medication for my depression. I'm just scared to it not working. I don't have the time and energy to do trail and error until I find something that works.
I just want to be able to leave my bed and stay awake.
It's your life, but being cheated on and taking them back is basically giving them a free pass to cheat as much as they want. You're confirmed to them that you're too scared to be alone and/or can't find another man and would rather stay with a cheater.
By being Caucasian and non-obese.
I don't know if I want to eat or just drink more coffee
Drink water first!
I drink water all day
I hate water
Pretty much this.
People, as I've found out, rarely change their behaviors. Staying with a cheater will only guarantee you'll be cheated on again.
I hate having family that lives far away sometimes, because whenever they come over they stay where I live. For the past week I've been having to do things and go places every waking hour and it's very emotionally draining. Some days I have work and am tired afterwards but I have to keep this energetic family fun front up when I come back as to not be seen as unsociable. The family I actually like talking to left a couple of days ago and only some cousins I hardly know remain. I only met them a few years ago and they are from another country. Every year my mom tries to push us to be friends but we have nothing in common and the cultural differences are too much at times. Last year I tried to take a hike with a friend to take a break from family but my mom forced me to invite my cousins along and more family awkwardness ensued. I am looking forward to when they leave so I can relax.
I'm scared US anons. I don't intend to make this political, so I'll leave candidate names out of this vent, but I made a donation at the maximum allowed amount of $2800 to a presidential candidate. Just found out today that you can search donation givers by name at the FEC website. (Yeah, I'm an idiot.)
I'm not comfortable with this at all. I still live with my parents and we're not super well off (I'd say we're middle class now, but we grew up poor). I do have my own job and donated with "my own money", but my parents support me by giving me a place to live. I think they'd kill me if they found out that I made a donation this high when I'm still mooching off of them in a way.
I actually went ahead and searched a few relatives on the FEC site. We donated to the same candidate (so at least there's no political affiliation issue), but my relatives only donated a few dollars (and have way more money than I do).
Am I spoiled and out of touch with money because I live with my parents? I'm so scared that I'll be named and shamed for spending so much. This is a candidate I strongly support (never donated to a political campaign before), so at least there's that.
You can just say that a homonym donated to that candidate, not you. America is a big place, I'm sure you're not the only one with your name.
I have a crush on a girl for the first time and I have a bf who I love. It's so hard because she lives in a different country to me but I just keep finding myself wishing for imaginary situations with this girl and I know it's probably stupid idealisation but it's difficult to shake off.
My sexuality was kind of fucked up for a long time because I have a history of CSA and I honestly don't even know what I am, so I don't label myself. I know I was definitely attracted to girls before I was boys though, when I was growing up after the CSA had ended. But I didn't recognise it as attraction at the time. But in the past year and a half I just keep finding myself seeing myself with a girl more and more.
I just don't want to hurt my bf, because he's done nothing wrong and he's even expressed concern over my admiration of this girl.
If this urge is getting hard to control then it might be time to break up with your boyfriend so you can figure out what you really want.
What are the odds that they'll actually look up other donors, though?>Am I spoiled and out of touch with money because I live with my parents?
Kind of? $2800 is quite a lot and you'd value it a lot more if you weren't guaranteed housing and food, but on the other hand everyone's value of money is based on their personal circumstances. Everyone has amounts they would and wouldn't spend on certain things or others. It's hard to say whether it was "wrong" of you to spend it if doing so didn't directly hurt the circumstances of you or anyone else.
If you look at FEC’s website, you can filter by zip code too, and the city of the donor is easily accessible. I live in a small town and that narrows things down a lot.>>32328
Thanks for the perspective regarding the money. Good point about everyone having amounts they would or wouldn’t spend on certain things. For example, I don’t really travel like a lot of my peers who take international trips, and one int’l trip probably costs at least the same amount I donated. I did think things over last night though and decided to be more conscious of my everyday money spending, given that I still live with my parents.
My parents aren’t interested much in politics, so they probably won’t look up donor lists. I can imagine my more politically involved relatives doing it, but won’t worry about it for now.
Accepting myself is impossible as long as I don't have anyone that accepts me for something I was literally born with and that everyone says you either have it or you don't but you can't earn it. You can't go against nature I guess?
I hurt the person I love and fell into a deep hole of self-destructive thoughts afterwards. Everything I did wasn't meant to do harm at all, but in the end I was a naive, selfish thot. Bitter.
I want to fake my death and go live in the woods.
I want to smoke cigarettes. I want to ax my portrait in my parent's living room, it was from so long ago and every time I see it, it reminds me of how hideous I am. I guess staying in my relationship is fine. I wish someone would suck and massage my breasts. I am fucking close to getting anorexic, I need to let go of my care for the taste of food.
I have a strong, sexual desire of being a caring milf without actually being a milf.
My bf and I talked a lot about that but we don't know how to deal with it yet.
>>32707>without actually being a milf
As in, you don't actually want to be one, or you physically aren't one yet?
Not sure if I'm understanding you right, but the appeal of a MILF for guys is the maturity, not the fact that she's a mother. People sometimes use use other terms like Mature or Cake to describe women with that mature appeal who aren't mothers.
It's hard to describe and I can't put my finger on it yet. But I had to share these thoughts.
I don't want to have children, but as I became older (turning 32 this year) I noticed over time that the image/role of being a wife & mother who's not exclusive to her husband/bf triggers a powerful sexual excitement.
Maybe it's a good idea to start role playing with younger men. :DDDDDD~
i just did some light camwhore stuff (fully clothed) over discord but i am so stressed out about it now idk what to do?? i’ve felt like vomiting all day because i’m worried they could somehow screenrecord or share it??? it would ruin my rep :( it’s also just a massive hit to your pride, it’s not empowering at all
Lesson learned I hope. Only do that with someone you trust.
How many people saw it? If it was a small number of people (let’s say 5 or less) then you’re probably okay. But if it’s any more than that then there’s a pretty good chance that someone recorded it or at least took screenshots (the more people that saw it the higher the chances the someone recorded it).
If you want to be a camwhore then you have to accept that people will record you and post it on other websites. If you’re not okay with that then you shouldn’t be a camwhore. It sounds like you didn’t enjoy it so you probably shouldn’t do it again.
the chances someone recorded it or took screenshots is honestly pretty high, just to have something over you / insurance. Having something that could hurt you gives them direct and indirect power over you, being rude / imposing or outright blackmail you. With no effort on their part. Them being men I almost guarantee one did. That was not a wise thing to do on your part, be careful
I'm so lonely and sad and I don't enjoy anything anymore. I've not even finished school and I've already given up on life. I don't think I can ever make friends cause I can't relate to anyone and I feel so detached. I'm tired of being human
I just wish I had a female friend. My last female friend from my youth stopped being my friend because her friends thought I was weird and rude because I never said much when she tried to invite me out with her new group. I just feel so awkward and anxious around the same gender and I have no why. I used to have plenty of female friends through my childhood so I'm so confused why I have become this way. I have male friends and I have no problems making friends with males but I don't want freaking male friends. I can't talk about the things I want to with them because it could be taken the wrong way and when I get a boyfriend I feel like I can no longer spend much private time with those male friends because it might seem weird. I just hate this so much and I wish I knew how I could fix my dumb anxiety around girls. I just want a friend again who I can watch shows with, have sleep overs, talk about more private things, go to anime conventions together, etc.
I made a stupid mistake. I told some coworkers I’m friends with that I came across another single coworker’s dating profile on a dating app. I didn’t tell them about what was in the profile to protect his privacy, just that I came across it. Thought it would be an interesting anecdote. They ended up telling a lot of other people in our department about it, and now probably the whole team knows.
It was a relationship focused dating app (not a hookup app like tinder), so at least it wasn’t embarrassing for him in that regard. But I still think I did something wrong to him by not keeping that personal information to myself. I don’t know if he knows yet that other people know (we’re in a small office), and I’m feeling tense until he finds out to see his reaction. I see him tomorrow and don’t know how to handle this situation, if I should tell him about it, and if I should just go ahead and apologize. I have his number so maybe I should text and apologize?
i mean it wouldn't hurt to apologize but it would be kinda weird if he got upset at someone seeing it when he voluntarily put it out there
I don't think anon is concerned about him being upset that she saw it, but that she told their co-workers of its existence.
I weep, I mean, women seeing her dead child kind of weeping, nearly every day now. I scream, etc. and I self-harm. I definitely gave myself a worse concussion that usual last week. I also cut. I've been "depressed" for a long time, since elementary school kind of deal, but it's never gotten to this point. At what point should I kill myself? What sets me off is getting less and less rational. It's destroying my relationship. I have always been unstable to a degree, but not to this degree. I want to get help for this, but I don't know how to start.
1 person, my face wasn’t in it and i blocked him as well - he has no way to contact me now
I feel like such an idiot right now. Just found out today that I've been understanding a basic concept in my career field the wrong way in the past few years. Now I feel like my world has turned upside down and I need to look at all of my past work to see if I made any mistakes due to my lack of understanding of this concept. It's probably not that dramatic, but it definitely feels like it, and it makes me feel so unintelligent right now that I just understood this concept correctly today.
I have no friends at uni. over christmas I was telling myself that I could turn things around, and that 2020 was the year of not being a friendless loser and maybe getting bf even. my "plan" was to talk to a boy from my class. we seem to have things in common from what Ive heard him talk to other people, and we catch the same bus everyday, so I could approach him in line at the stop instead of having to do it in a busy lecture. Id be happy being friends or dating
today was the first day back. the first time Ive saw him in over a month. he gets on the bus. hes with a girl. Im devastated. all the hopes I had for this year have been crushed
they sat infront of me and I over heard them talking. he starts talking about what he did on holidays and it turns out we have the same hobbies and even more in common, which I dont know if its good, or bittersweet
I dont know if they were dating. it doesnt really matter. even if theyre just friends, why would he want to be friends with a loser like me let alone date. all I can imagine is if I tried to talk to him, he would be thinking "I wish I was talking to my friend right now instead of this loser talking to me"
pretty depressed tbh
all you truly observed was that he has similar interests than you and is a friendly person. who knows if they're dating? you won't know until you at least try to say "hi, how were your holidays, etc?" and give him a chance to mention your shared hobbies so you can relate over your shared interests. you are not the only girl on earth and that's ok. it's still worth a chance. don't give up.
I am sorry for such a wall of text, I don't expect anyone to read, I just want to write. Maybe I should write in a diary instead:
My life is full of contradictions. I want to help protect the earth, to recycle all I can and save resources but sometimes it's hard to do anything to minimize waste. I separate plastics and paper to recycle but I've heard that when the garbage collectors come by they just throw all the separated waste all together anyway… Also to recycle plastic you have to wash it first which wastes water and also some packaging is just unrecyclable, I wish all food packaging could just be made from biodegradable plastic.
I feel like nothing I do matters and nothing anyone does matters because at the end of the day these massive companies just think about their own monetary gain and don't even stop to think about the consequences of their actions, they are poisoning the earth, poisoning themselves and they do not see anything wrong with it, they just go 'oh it's too bad' but don't do anything to stop their degeneracy. It just makes me sick how such powerful entities can be so irresponsible to all of humanity, it really makes me sick and I feel like crying. Even if I dedicated my life to fighting against them I don't think I could do anything and I could have benefitted the world more doing something else instead.
Also another more personal contradiction I face is I am completely happy not having a boyfriend, I am really happy in my life at a personal level but at the same time I think about what it would be like to have a boyfriend. I keep thinking about what it would be like to hold someone's hand or kiss them, or what my perfect boyfriend would be like. I only have like 2 male friends and I think if one of them asked me to be their girlfriend I wouldn't say no because I am happy when I am with them, but at the same time I feel like having a boyfriend would be such a hassle, I barely have time for myself let alone for someone else and I feel like no person can truly connect with and understand another so it's pointless anyway. I think my wish for having a boyfriend is mostly from outside pressure, not the really overt kind but kind of unconscious, from media and such… I used to spend more time on imageboards and this wish was more present then. Now I don't have it as much anymore, but I do think I fell in love a bit with my friend…
Don't assume things so quickly. She could be just an old acquaintance of his, his cousin,
his neighbor, maybe she is someone who is unattractive to him which makes it easier
for him to speak to. Also how can he think of you as a loser if he doesn't know you. If he
knew you had similar hobbies/interests as him he might begin to respect you and find you
easier to talk to. Majority of men know that in society it is expected of men to make the
first move, if a woman approaches first, even if that woman is not of their particular taste
many men can get overjoyed (even if they don‘t show it) and often confused, in rare cases
they can assume it as mockery. If you approach him and start a conversation about many*
random topics (not holiday/uni related) he might quickly pick up that you‘re interested in him.
So if you want a window for possible romance start the conversation with a uni (or holiday) related topic.
she is a student in the year above us on the same course. they talked about the possibility of being flat mates next year
even if theyre not dating. even if my aim was purely platonic. I cant imagine he would want to be friends with me when he has higher quality friends already.
how you judge "quality" is probably different from how you do. stop trying to read his mind.
Im just not a very good person. if I was I would already have friends. Im rude and boring and a sperg. someone who as better options wouldnt want to be friends with me I feel
There isn't some kind of hard-coded limit of friends that people can have.
Your just self-sabotaging yourself now, it has nothing to do with him. You need to get some self-esteem.
>>32997>There isn't some kind of hard-coded limit of friends that people can have.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunbar%27s_number
Actually there sort of is, and it's really interesting.
I also feel jealous about my friends having friends outside our "circle" especially if theyre normies. I know its pretty toxic but it be like dat doe
So she is his senpai and they talked about being flat mates. Now this sounds like a dangerous territory.
Do you remember the voice tone/emotion when they were speaking about that?
People rarely choose flat mates of the opposite sex. There usually is no middle ground,
it‘s either because they see them as bf/gf material or they find the person unattractive
and trustworthy enough to be their flat mate. I suggest checking his social media just to
be sure, her‘s too. If she does have a bf and it isn't him she might be toying with him.
You can never know.
Oh.. and I am going to repeat myself - how can he hold you of lower quality if you possibly have
many interests/hobbies in common with him. If he knew, you could potentially be of highest quality to him.
he doesnt have social media. I may have heard her mention a bf, but I may have misheard her saying "her friends bf". I dont think she is toying with him. they seem genuine
and I kind of think of myself as a boring person who does interesting things. I have many interesting hobbies, but dont do a good job talking about them, or talking in a way people find engaging in general. unless someone like edgy 4chan memes I have little to offer, and that gets old real fast
Hobbies are not as important as you may think. Most people don't necessarily search for a partner with similar or interesting hobbies/interests. Most people seek someone who can understand them on a deeper* emotional level, someone who can fill in where they're lacking, someone who genuinely cares about them, shows sympathy/compassion. That's why even polar opposites can get along. Though it is uncommon.
yeah, I dont do any of my hobbies to make friends I do them because I enjoy doing them. the second part of your post is what I lack. hes not going to care if we like the same stuff if I cant provide what youre describing
I hate to be a complaining Nancy. I've posted in this thread before.
I just kind of want to word vomit everywhere I can, even on other dreadful image boards. Because getting it out sounds more sane then to continue crying in a office alone, hoping my manager or a customer doesn't come in.
I'm so fucking sad that it actually physically hurts. I hate my life so much. I can't silence that inner voice that's telling me to kill myself. I want to get help but at the same time I'm terrified. Last time I went to the Dr they try to admit me and I got so scared of missing work and not being able to pay for rent and bills that I lied my way out of it. Goes to show you how bad that hospital is.
and I think I understand you. I have such trouble keeping it together at work (and don't always…I've learned to cry quietly there) I feel like something terrible is going to happen to me in the next 6 months that will fuck my life up, at my own hands.
I really don't get why doctors think that total privation of freedom is going to help anyone get better.
I understand what it like to have depression as a juvenile. To feel so sad that you forget to be happy. To be torn between raging to destroy anything and everything and crying so hard, I get a headache for days.
There are resources out there to help, but I also understand that it might not be everywhere. My advice is as an American, is that you can go to women's centers or the ER and get a list of therapist/psychologist. If you have health insurance you should be able to call for that information. I wouldn't know what's it like for other countries but I know the concern for mental health is growing. There are websites you can even go to but I forget which ones are the good ones.
I just get scared off because if they believe you are a danger to yourself or to others, they'll try to hold you for observation. I delt with one wellness check with the police before and that itself is stressful. I am awful because I'm fortunate enough to live any area that has plenty of programs to help but I too scare to take advantage of it. Because in the end it has to be me who is willing to go get help. I'm terrified and I really don't have a reason but I'm still scared.
Now I should really go back to work but I am all red and puffy face.
This is how I feel except every day. I don't know how people can have friends or relationships for years. I hate the idea of being around people so much. It's not like I'm rude to people when I go out I just prefer being in my room alone.
>>32992>I cant imagine he would want to be friends with me when he has higher quality friends already
That's not how having friends works.
A few days ago I saw my bf lose his cool for the first time in the two year and 6 months I have known him.
I never thought of my bf as a fighter, he's a pretty calm and tame guy and has a strong orientation about a family. Overall he's a very stable man and I've never had an issue with him outside of typical couple related speedbumps when we started to get to know eachother.
We were out at a bowling arcade a nights ago and he saw me get visibly uncomfortable after he left to get his wallet out of our car. I have never seen him even be angry in the time I have known him. For some reason, (to his interpretation I think) he saw a guy try and assault me and my bf lost his cool for the first and only time that I have saw. He dragged this other guy outside and hit him pretty badly. My bf is a large man and it was very shocking to see him switch from the man I've known for so long to whatever that was.
At the same time, I've never felt so attracted to him. I feel that there is something primal to that but I'm also concerned that he has that potential. Am I right to be concerned? He's never once indicated that he might show that feeling towards me but I find that legal danger and reckless act concerning.
I don't know how to feel about this?
>>33064>I'm also concerned that he has that potential
All people do, to some degree. Everyone has a breaking point where they may do or say awful things that they would never consider normally. The action itself is likely much more shocking than it would otherwise be simply because of the contrast between his normal behavior.
"Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is."
Bear it in mind for the future, and perhaps talk with him about restraining himself in such situations in the future if only for legal concerns. However, aside from that I think that one fistfight in two years, in defense of you (from his point of view) is a pretty good track record.
if he thought this man attacked you then it makes sense and I dont think you have to worry that hed ever harm you. the men in my family are as gentle and loving as can be to their children/families. but I know most of them have backgrounds in fighting and would flip out if they thought their loved ones were in danger
That situation is literally how peefect man should act. He was violent because someone threatened you - someone he loved and never threatened.
He never abused you because why would he do that. The switch flipped because he deemed you were in danger. This is precisely how things should work and thats why you felt the attraction. It was primal feeling of "this man keeps me safe, he is right for me".
You're lucky as fuck to have him and i wish you both well in the future
Feeling so dead and empty inside. Simultaneously wanting to never interact with another human again, while also terrified that everyone who loves me will stop if I don't suck it up and get normal again.
I feel too apathetic to even wanna kill myself. Pathetic.
>>33064>At the same time, I've never felt so attracted to him. I feel that there is something primal to that
This post was made by a moid. Shoo-shoo with your power fantasies, you are not a "large man" as you like to imagine in your ego trips about a loving gf, you are severely obese.
Why do you feel that way, anon?
I'm glad someone else said this. For a minute there I was starting think I was the only one who found that part really suspicious.
God please just hire me. It's a fucking minimum wage job. Why the fuck not? Do I need to be a good damn astronaut? Need to know rocket science? I am getting to the point of desperation where I'd suck somebody's dick to let me stock a shelf.
Unfortunately the most effective way to get jobs is to personally know the people giving them, or know someone who does.
Even actual skill is a crapshoot unless you're literally in the top of your field, because regardless of what you do, there are dozens if not hundreds of people who can do it just as well and each want the position for themselves.
In your case, there may be 100 people looking for a job within travel distance of said store who are capable of putting things on a shelf.
Just gotta keep applying until your name happens to be pulled out of the hat. Either that, or network and meet people and try to nepotism your way into a job.
update to this. saw him again today. we both had the same exam, then got the bus back into town. then got off at the same stop to go to the same supermarket
would have been perfect opportunity, but I chickened out. I dont feel too bad tho. the relief of my exam being over and done with is outweighing the disappointment I have in myself rn. Im going to watch anime in bed for the rest of the week lol
Next time try saying hi. There's a fairly good chance he's had similar thoughts
The temporary fear you might feel right before and even when you're speaking to him is 100% worth the possibility of love. Be brave, anon.
>>33175>I am getting to the point of desperation where I'd suck somebody's dick to let me stock a shelf.
You know you could make money just doing the dick sucking part right? Honestly, how dumb of you to do something you could already be getting paid for just to earn the right to work even more for less money than you could get for the first thing.
>>33193>You know you could make money just doing the dick sucking part right?
Depending on where she lives, that might be illegal.
I absolutely hate one of my colleagues. Personalities not compatible, she's kind of careless about how she treats others, has the stereotypical female non-personality that you see in incel memes, little stuff like that.
My issue is I feel so guilty about hating her so much. I'm not the only one who dislikes her, but I feel like I'm a massive cunt for no reason because I can't hide my disdain for her.
I go to a pretty high-brow university and have two jobs to support myself (pay rent, buy groceries, pay for commute, rarely have any money for my own enjoyment). I am going for free due to a scholarship + financial aid (I grew up pretty poor and did extremely well in high school in order to get myself out of there..and I did). I feel like having multiple jobs to support myself and constantly being on the grind is slowly killing me… i'm the type of person that isn't super naturally smart, and I need to study a lot in order to get it, but through hard work and determination, I get through it. But I've been in deeper ruts of depression, my mental and physical health has rapidly declined, and university is merciless. I feel so stupid next to my wealthy, fresh-faced peers. I feel like an illiterate, disgusting goblin. I barely earned my place here and I feel ashamed to exist. My brain constantly feels like it's rotting and just empty space. I'm going crazy and I want to off myself. I used to be able to do all these robot things, just work and school. But now that i'm paying for my whole existence, things have gotten so much harder, I don't have time to study so I don't get straight As anymore. Haven't gotten a C yet but I definitely will this semester. God I wish everything could fucking slow down. I don't have time to look for and see a therapist/psychiatrist that will diagnose me with something that will help in filing something for my school's disability office thing that will help me have more time and forgiveness in classes . maybe I should go the quick way and attempt suicide. but I don't want to ruin anything.. if I do something illegal I have potential to lose financial aid.. everything I do is about success and I get so anxious if I'm not doing work or being productive that I literally think I'm killing myself over work and I can't fucking stop because I get so anxious if I don't . !!! FUCk
ITS A VICIOUS CYCLE AND I WANT IT TO STOP BUT I DON'T WANT TO WASTE ALL THE WORK I DID IN MY YOUTH . I WASTED MY YOUTH TO GET THIS AND I'M NOT DOING WELL. I FEEL SO PATHETIC.
>>33216>don't get straight As anymore. Haven't gotten a C yet but I definitely will this semester
are you american? its a very american obsession to think anything less than an A is bad. in the UK students are happy with Cs
anyway. sorry to hear your situation. can you talk to anyone at the uni about it to get support?
Plenty of people do it even if it's illegal. Plus, I can't imagine there's any place where sucking dick to get a job is legal, but sucking dick AS a job isn't. I just wanted to point out that if she's willing to suck dick in the pursuit of money, she could do it more efficiently than the plan she mentioned. Unless she meant she'd only want to do it one time just to get the job.
>>33219>in the UK students are happy with Cs
Not trying to be mean anon, but that's just you and your friends.
I am American, yes, but I was also raised in a mentally ill single mom middle eastern household lol. I also would be fine with Us theoretically, it's just that I could lose my scholarship. I'm very reliant on it. America sucks.
its really not. most people are fine with Cs, even hard working students wouldnt be upset. as long as youre passing its okay. thats the prevailing feeling>>33222
ahh. if you need it for scholarship money that makes more sense. it really does seem like a bad system. it might be too late, but have you thought about studying in europe? things are much easier her financially
How old are you and what current level of education are you in?
23 currently uni undergrad in maths. will be starting masters next year. its obv nice to do well, but no one I know would be upset with Cs unless the uni required them to do better for progression etc
No, just strange to me. But good luck with things.
what country are you from/what level of study?
UK, I dropped out in the final year of A-levels. Before the mental health issues hit, the I reason dropped out, I was going to do electronic engineering.
ah, that makes some sense. theres more pressure at A-level to get As and A*s if the unis you want to get into require it. I had a similar experience dropping out of 6th form in my last yeat because of mental health. if you want to try uni again, foundation year courses could be a good option
Thanks, I've considered it, but i think i might leave it a while. I got a part-time job, and that ended rather poorly.
Your grades matter a lot for your admittance to Masters (and later PhD), at least here in France, so it is not completely useless to worrt about them.
t. a miner doing a math PhD
yeah, Im obv not saying its useless, I need to get high grades in certain classes to progress to masters, and I do care about that. but theres definitely a difference from when you see americans suicidal over a C in any class. we're (UK and europe) much less obsessed with grades
You're going to blow up a potential relationship with a guy you actually like in order to get back at a handful of completely different guys who probably don't even remember you?
Midlife crisis is kicking in my friends. Really annoying.
Anon grow up this is sad
Why don't you just find someone who isn't used goods?
I've gotten sleep after this and am feeling a bit more coherent. I was very tired and had recently found out that he lost it so young since his ex talked about their sex lives publicly.
I feel these strong urges to get close to him and yet I hate him so much. What else am I supposed to do with those feelings? That's what I was thinking.
It's long time that I got over this but apparently I never will be. It's so tiring to be constantly dragged through the mud by men and so I simply desire to share my pain with someone. In my spite, hurting him myself seemed like the only and most appealing option. But really, even finding someone with a similar past would be so cathartic. Or at least someone who could hold me and tell me I deserved better.
Maybe I don't want to hurt him at all. Who knows. I likely couldn't bring myself to reject him and would cry on the spot, causing him to reject me instead. I even typed more in this post that aired out some of their dirty laundry but I can't even do that ANONYMOUSLY. I could never actually hurt anyone…>>33290
Can't find any. Men can easily get laid + lack self-control.>>33284
I am sad. Both in a depressing way and a pathetic way.
>>33306>Can't find any.
The men who are virgins as adults probably don't advertise it given the considerable stigma. Even if you asked one directly, he may still lie in order to hide what he perceives as a shortcoming.
>>33306>mods deleted my original post
I?! No rules were broken afaik? No physical harm, nothing illegal and I'm not a man.
Sorry for venting in the vent thread ig.
But I do sort of regret my words so perhaps it's for the best. >>33307
Perhaps, but I really do believe most can easily get action with minimal effort. Incels make it seem as if they are common, but (at least where I live) basically every neckbeard or neckbeard adjacent type can get a loyal gf. All of my male friends have, for real.
But maybe I'm an anomaly, too. So I can't call them fake. Regardless it just makes finding other inexperienced people hard.
Where the fuck do you live? Where I live I see virgins everywhere. Maybe you're just not socialising with the right kind of people.
This bitch again, idc if anyone reads this since I just want to get it out.
I'd convinced myself ~uwu maybe he didn't know what he was doing and unintentionally lead me on! He is only 18 so he's baby~ BUT NO.
Now I know for sure he was trying to cheat. Not only did he remove me from his social media (despite agreeing to stay friends), but he deleted every suspicious message he sent. Asking me to the movie? Gone. Asking for me to take pics in my gym clothes? Gone.
Smdh that little slime ball.
But it also has given me somme confidence that one guy I liked legit showed interest and I wasn't just reading too into it. Ironically, by trying to lie he made the truth more clear.
Feelin cute tbh. But also shocked and pissed…but in a funny way. Just a ridiculous situation.
we have a group project together tomorrow. Im not ready for this. also in the group are 3 normies
being forced to do a group project was what gave me friends at uni, good luck anon
I second this, normies may surprise you by being secretly not normies or just by being super nice.
Class participation and group projects have gotten me from zero two friends and some kind acquaintances in one year.
And hit up that qt!
I cry whenever my boyfriend leaves me for the day or weekend and it doesn't matter what I'm consciously thinking. I just happens as soon as I can tell he can't see me. It's uncontrollable and makes me feel disgusting. I am pathetic.
Stop being so hard on yourself, anon. It's normal to miss our special people. I wish you would give yourself a break.
You're right. I will just cope by looking at pictures of him and sniffing his undies.
I'm not this anon>>33350
Thank you for the reassurance.
I might be overreacting but could you have pic related? Better to be safe then sorry.
Ive had quite a few group projects at uni, but none of them led to making friends. one of the people in the group Ive worked with before. we have small talk sometimes, but hes kind of a bully
If I fuck this up then I'll have no chance with the guy I like after
people who pick on others because they're envious are fucking disgusting. fuck off.
it went okay! we didnt get a chance to talk about personal things. just work, but I didnt mess up or make him hate me
I thought he was just a shy boy, but it turns out hes way more autistic. kind of hard to talk to (dont think it was just nerves). dont know how I feel about that, but now I have an "in" if I want to talk to him if I see him out of class