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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Vent thread Anonymous 41254

>>38741 last thread reached bump limit so I thought it would be a good idea to make a new one
A thread for talking about your problems and venting your frustrations.

Anonymous 41266

i'm depressed to where i can barely eat again. idk what i'm doing or why i'm alive

Anonymous 41267

i think my biological absentee father sexually abused me without me knowing. adding up everything from past years it's susceptible. it feels like he has been grooming me my entire life.

i started wearing big, baggy, multiple layers of clothing and will continue to everytime i visit family. i will no longer consume open drinks around him, etc.

i think he's roofied me before. you really can't trust anybody.

Anonymous 41273

>>41266
are you not on therapy or meds anon?

Anonymous 41278

>>41273
i'm getting my adderall script refilled in 2 days so i'll start to be productive again soon; now just sucks and antidepressants dont work for me
>therapy
it's impossible lol my insurance is aids

Anonymous 41279

To the bi anonymous with the lying boyfriend in the last thread:
>>41238
>>41256
>i know what i want but i'm v committment driven and want to figure out if i can get past everything he did since he is actually trying to do n be better.
>a lot of my problems in our relationship boils down to me overcompensating, compromising, caring, and he does not.
>i don't really know what to do best he is improving, but i don't know if any romantic feelings will come back. it's like i've had to teach him to be an adult :- /
From the way you word talking about this relationship, it seems to me like you feel duty-bound to the relationship, where it's less about a genuine animating love that makes you feel a sense of trust, security, and attraction and more that you owe it to him to give him the chance to carry his own weight in a partnership.
This seems like the sort of quality that would be really helpful in a marriage, where "til death do you part" means that there's a need for commitment that can withstand the loss of romance and full, loving trust. But for a normal romantic relationship, it seems sorta self-destructive to locked into that kind of duty because you don't really "need" each other in the same way that a legally and socially bound married couple does.
There's nothing stopping him from continuing to improve as a person outside of a relationship (and it's really concerning if being in a relationship is the only thing convincing him to improve if he's a constant liar), and you can still help him on that road to becoming a more confident, moral person as a caring close friend. But draining yourself emotionally and acting as a kind of mother for someone who isn't even sharing a mortgage with you seems a little masochistic.

I hope I'm making sense, anon.

Anonymous 41281

Also from the last thread:
>>41265
>tfw so bad at communication that i've tried 3 times to vent on something entirely different than not being able to express myself so i just made this vent instead
There's vents in here that are basically streams of consciousness without much structure beyond laying out simple or incomplete pieces of thoughts and feelings. Nothing you have to lose by just laying out whatever's on your mind.

Anonymous 41285

My boyfriend is unwilling to admit he has depression and needs help. He tries to seek the help from me and gets upset when I try to recommend him to a therapist. I'm not equipped to help him, I can hardly help myself. I hate when he's suicidal. I never say the right things and always put my foot in my mouth, it's too much stress and pressure. I end up making the situation worst. It's too unfair. He expects so much from me and gets upset over the tiniest of things. He doesn't want to go to therapy because the last therapist didn't help at all. Recently I did get home to consider maybe looking for a male therapist. I'm tired of having to call suicidal hotline for him to talk to someone. I care for him but I'm so tired of him being moody and always ready for a fight.

Anonymous 41286

>>41285
Does he trust you enough to let you touch him? If he's just violent towards you, then there's nothing you can really do for him.

Anonymous 41287

>>41286
He's not physically violent. It's just that I feel like I can't say anything to him when he gets like that. I just stay silent now because no matter what I say it's not enough. It's been proven that I can't calm him down.

Anonymous 41288

>>41287
How does he react when you don't respond?

Anonymous 41289

>>41288
That kind of depends on him. Sometimes he cries it all out and I try my best to comfort him. Sometimes it's scary because he just gets more suicidal and I have to call an outside source to talk to him. Then he gets upset at me for not being the one to talk him down. But in the past I tried my hardest and it felt like it made no effort. He just wants a magical word the fixes everything. Suddenly the next day everything is better. I can understand that but I'm a mess myself.

Anonymous 41291

>>41289
Have you talked to him during that "next day" when he's stable and explained how you feel about being forced to play hostage negotiator? It's understandable that he wants the person he loves to be there for him in his times of need, and it's great that you are, but there's a big difference between wanting your lover to hold you in her arms and wanting your lover to basically be a trained crisis manager always ready to calmly and expertly talk you off of a ledge at a moment's notice.

I know you care about him, but it's simply unfair for you to be forced to not only repeatedly watch someone you care about torture himself, but then put you on the spot of needing to save him. He probably doesn't realize how awful what he's doing to you is because he's so consumed by his depression that he can't see beyond his pain, and he's just glad to be done with the crisis when it's over. But you have the right to say that you're being asked to carry more than you can bear.

Anonymous 41292

>>41291
It's not really easy to talk to him. Sometimes it triggers it all over again. It's made it difficult to approach him about it. Then he'll try to turn it against me that I need to be the one who fix's the relationship. I have been more vocal about him going to therapy. But the whole covid thing stalled it because for some reason he doesn't want to do video sessions. But it really just feels like an excuse.

Anonymous 41293

>>41292
>Then he'll try to turn it against me that I need to be the one who fix's the relationship.
How does he mean?
>for some reason he doesn't want to do video sessions. But it really just feels like an excuse.
It absolutely seems like an excuse, given that he was already slow walking seeing a therapist at all.

I suspect that for him, he fears looking at his life objectively as something that needs to change: admitting that he has mental illness, accepting that he needs professional help, and working towards reaching a state where he can be held accountable for his mood and actions. So as long as his current circumstance are acceptably sustainable - he gets by alright, then gets suicidally depressed, but gets pulled back from the brink each time - he'd rather live with the devil he knows than the devil he doesn't. It's like being an alcoholic or an addict: you know that it's not the way your life is supposed to be, but it's easier to duct tape the pieces of yourself that are falling apart and not look at the gaping holes in your coping skills than to actually invest the time and energy to repair them.

I'm sure it is pretty hard to talk to him, and I'm sorry you're dealing with this. But until he realizes the severity of the problem, he's not gonna think there really is a problem to solve, and you'll have to keep bearing that burden he puts on you.

Anonymous 41295

>>41292
He won't even let you pat his head?

Anonymous 41296

>>41295
Lately he thinks any kind of positive attention is patronizing. It hurts honestly. I just want to hold him and kiss him and tell him he's handsome. He doesn't believe it.

Anonymous 41301

>>41267
>you really can't trust anybody.

Anonymous 41307

tumblr_mur9n00AIn1…

I've decided to change my major, uni and gave up on my IT course for something less profitable. It's been half a year since I dropped out of the technical college (mostly because of trauma and pressure) and it still makes me feel inadequate. I wish I could belong somewhere without feeling worthless.

Anonymous 41309


Anonymous 41320

How do I deal with feeling nothing but good feelings for my boyfriend, then suddenly being suspicious as fuck? Like sometimes I'll despise the shit out of him for watching porn, but then I realize that only happens when I'm not with him and I should be understanding since it's a masturbatory aid. I feel this constant pull of stress, anger, eventually I'll tell him about it, he gets hurt, doesn't really know how to deal with it and is sad because his intentions aren't negative, we make up, things are great, and then I feel angry at him for some other reason.


What is wrong with me? Or him? Or is it both of us? I wasn't this way in my other relationships, but I actually love this guy. That may be a factor.

Anonymous 41321

>>41320
he hasn't done anything significant to hurt you? if not, maybe you just need more mental space?

Anonymous 41322

>>41321
Hm. He's done a couple of things, but nothing huge, or at least, nothing huge compared to my exes. Once he didn't visit me in a hospital because he felt like I did that to myself and it hurt me a fuckload. He has since apologized for it.

He also once said something to my friend which I perceived to be flirtatious, but he claims it was a poorly executed joke that came off that way. He's apologized for that, but it has always come off as "meh" to me because I had apparently dragged him to that function (he doesn't like hanging around with my friend supposedly, but before I got with him, his friend said he should go after my friend, so I don't really trust it; however, I am incredibly sensitive and everyone was drunk) and I had flipped out at him earlier, so he acted not that sorry, like if it hadn't been for those preceding things he wouldn't have said the "joke"/flirtatious line.

Most of the things he does that hurt me are accidental in nature. He makes comments on my body meant to be compliments that I don't take that way. His key line is that his intentions aren't to hurt me. It gets old, though, but at the same time, it gets old I'm always hurt by his little comments or everything it seems. I don't even know now whether the problem is me or him. He's very kind and thoughtful, but I feel like every time we argue, I have to say something about how it's my fault for perceiving things a certain way.

Anonymous 41323

>>41321
Also, what do you mean by mental space?

Anonymous 41325

>>41322
>compared to my exes
Don't do that. Seriously. The reason pair bonding shoots back up when you have 9+ partners is because you stop caring about every single experience with them, allowing a clean slate.

I wouldn't say either of you are innocent here, but you could stand to treat him better, as he should do the same for you. Getting drunk never seems to end well.

Anonymous 41328

>>41325
>pair bonding shoots back up when you've had 9+ partners
well fuck, he's only my 3rd partner whereas I'm in the double digits for him (though granted, most of his partners were only dating partners, I've only had 2 other long term relationships and he's had practically none in comparison to the time frame I'm used to).

Cheating, rape of multiple kinds, public humiliation, porn sickness, etcetera occurred between both past relationships. It's hard for me to trust given that. he knows of my history. I just wish I could take a magic pill that would let me see him through rose-tinted shades. I know he's objectively good for my life and that I love him. I feel like I hate being in a relationship. I'm so childish.

Anonymous 41329

58586578_p0.jpg

i loathe being autistic i loathe being unable to speak with people without feeling/sounding retarded or being a bother or being pitied. it feels like everyone apart from myself exists behind stupid-thick glass and i'm just fucked to watch and wonder

Anonymous 41330

>>41328
Just forget about them, anon. It's in your past. He's not them.
>>41329
It's a learning experience. You pick up on what and what not to say when you have enough conversational flubs. It just takes time.

Anonymous 41331

>>41325
>>41328
i've fucked 61 guys as of last weekend and i have too much of an ability to pair-bond if anything. when in a relationship i'm loving, devoted, and very monogamous minded. i think the key ability is to judge whether a guy is correct for you or not. there are a lot of moids who are not up to par and should be discarded. only give your heart to a guy who has a strong potential. i've only had two long term relationships and both got to talks about marriage.

i encourage women to fuck 50+ men. you learn a lot about moids that way. when i was too young i didn't know the difference between good and bad sex. now i do, very well. selfish lovers go in the trash. same for less easy to describe personality traits and behaviors/habits. you learn not to waste time with losers.

Anonymous 41332

>>41322
im>>41321
(this is based off of my experiences) i no longer accept "i didnt intended on xyz to mean that way or hurt you" anymore. i did that with my current bf but he continued to do or say them. not gonna lie, in the beginning of my relationship i did everything you said you do, lole. it just continued to be bad, i would recommend trying to be firm with yourself and really go "no, this is hurtful, and he should stop". because what as an adult and a partner he should be learning how to be kind to you instead of doing the same things over n over. it wont be being mean to him if you're just firm. if he reacts badly, that may be helpful for you to know what you want to do next.

also by mental space, i mean like, more time doing you solo. like maybe you need a day to spend entirely by yourself if you don't already!

Anonymous 41333

>>41331
Not the anon your talking to, but how can you handle doing 61 guys?
More power to you but that's just not in my programming.

Anonymous 41334

crying girl.jpg

I'm so lonely
I just want a bf !!!

Anonymous 41335

>>41334
Talk to the next boy you see.

Anonymous 41338

Is anyone else legitimately terrified of men to the point it’s debilitating? I have been afraid of men ever since I can remember. Anytime I have to be around them I feel this weird mixture of fear, contempt and sexual tension. I imagine this is how incels feel towards women. I can’t even look men in the eye and after any interaction with males I think about how cringe everything I said and did was and it’s painful. I get super uncomfortable being around them, even in waiting rooms and such I am so tense whenever there are men around. I don’t think I will ever be able to have a bf irl because after every single thing I do and say I will be cringing.

Anonymous 41340

>>41339
It doesn’t matter if they’re ugly, I still feel nervous around them. Im actually even more scared of gay guys than straight guys too. I remember the hairdresser cutting my hair was really flamboyant and camp and I felt like he was judging me so much. I’m on the lower side of average so I doubt most men I interact with are attracted to me. Ironically I started using boards like 4chan to talk to men more and understand the male mindset, but if anything it’s traumatized me lol and now I’m even more scared of men and what they are thinking. Talking to girls is totally fine for me. With males I just freeze, I feel like a little kid, I can’t even open my mouth to speak. Oh and the worst part is I’m not a teenager or anything, I’m in my mid twenties :/ Probably doesn’t help that all my formative experiences with men were abusive too, often physically.

Anonymous 41342

>>41341
You’re right that extremist type mindsets tend to flock to 4chan, but sometimes I read posts on there that I know are written by average millennial/zoomer dudes that I see walking around everyday, and it’s quite a disturbing insight into the male psyche and how they view women, especially women who aren’t attractive. I noticed men are usually either hostile to me or outright ignore me. And I know it’s most likely because I am not attractive.

My mom is significantly more attractive than me and was a Stacy in her youth, and even though she is pushing 60 now she still gets hit on left right and center. Men pay her lots of attention and are really helpful and friendly and flirty towards her. I see it with my attractive friends too. The difference between the way men treat attractive women and average/unattractive women is night and day.

I tried to hang out with friends bfs, only one of my friends bfs is what I would consider a nice, polite person, but even then I felt like he thought I was really weird and awkward, and was just kind of tolerating me.

I remember meeting one of my other friends boyfriends and he was really rude to me despite being a lame geeky type dude, he actually ended up hitting me too and pretending it was an accident. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over this fear of men because my interactions with them are overwhelmingly negative. It’s a nuisance but no matter how much I try to force myself to interact with them it doesn’t go well. Idk, I guess I’m just gonna give up.

Anonymous 41343

>>41342
And oh yeah I am conscious that I probably give out an extremely guarded or scared vibe, but I still try hard to be polite and friendly to people. It doesn’t seem to make a difference though.

Anonymous 41346

>>41343
>>41342
>>41340
>>41338
Does this extend to teachers, doctors, or other authorities/people older than you, or do you feel this way just around people who are more or less your "peers?"

I suspect that you've had at least some good experiences talking to guys, but your anxieties are so strong that it magnifies your negative experiences and makes it harder to remember those few times when you did have a good conversation. Face to face contact is a really emotionally complicated and stressful place to be in.

Maybe talking to guys in an online setting that's not as polarized as 4chan could help. If they can't see you or know your gender, you'd know that they're not judging you because of how you look or the physical vibe you're giving off. It could help you better see them as individual people with minds like yours rather than just part of the blanket "men" who are all looking down at you.

Anonymous 41384

Sometimes I think I just hate humans so much that I don't know how I can handle it.

Anonymous 41385

>>41334
Buy a gym bag.

Anonymous 41388

>>41384
Kill your ego.

Anonymous 41389

>>41388
What does that mean?

Anonymous 41413

>>41389
Take enough LSD that you get an existential crisis.

Anonymous 41414

j7ufxw4v1vx31.jpg

I spent my life all the way to 2020, age 23 stressing about my looks and feeling ugly. I did all sort of crazy hairstyles (especially when I was teenager and into anime, try to have some anime/emo bullshit cringe hair), make up, plugging my eyebrows so much to the point they never grow back proper.

Not to mention I was retarded kid and literally no one taught me basic hygiene (my parents divorced and I lived with my dad and he didn't pay attention) so I was a huge degenerate aswell, the ''smelly kid''.

All of this bs I did to mess with my looks for all these years just to realize I look perfectly fine in my natural, groomed state. No need for crazy hair, make up or plugging eyebrows. Literally all I had to do was just shower regularly to actually look good. I feel like I wasted my youth and most of my beauty. I'm already 23 and I'm going to start to deteriorate in 2 years, maybe 7 if I'm actually lucky. I feel so fucking bad.

Anonymous 41421

>>41389
Remember that you're human and that you're also a dick, then remember other people aren't always dicks.

Anonymous 41430

I'm in love with someone who isn't here anymore. It's a weird feeling.

Anonymous 41431

>>41430
It's the worst feeling. Maybe you'll meet again someday.

Anonymous 41432

>>41421
I just wish people would be nicer to nature and animals and other humans

Anonymous 41434

>>41432
Are you, though? Remember were this "holier than thou" mindset gets you.

Anonymous 41436

ref2.png

so…after repressing for 20 years i've come to terms with the fact that i'm gay
i don't know where to go from here. i spent my whole life hiding and now i can just…be myself
i think i'm happy but i still feel lost

Anonymous 41439

>>41434
I'm not perfect but I try to be a good person. Fuck man I met a Karen. I thought it was just a internet joke. These crazy bitches actually exist. And then then there's litter all around the mailboxes because of these useless add they keep sending in the mail. Then I see on my feed people abandoning pets like they're nothing and voting for Trump 2020. Just uuuggggghhh.

Anonymous 41443

>>41414
Same, honestly I didn't care about my appearance because of bullying and the 'cooler than you' attitude. Now I care about my appearance and hygiene way too much. Kinda want to stop.

Anonymous 41445

>>41436
Can you explain it further?
>>41439
>I'm not perfect but
Nobody is. You can try to be a good person, and so can everybody else. If Adolf Hitler can be a supporter of Ecology, you know life isn't the way you see it. Also don't get into politics. None of it matters.

Anonymous 41446

>>41445
Yeah but we all agree humans are trash. I can still bitch and complain because I like to.

Anonymous 41448

>>41446
At least you're honest, you loon.

Anonymous 41449

I’m an extreme people pleaser with an anxiety disorder. I’m constantly fearing that people will hate me

Anonymous 41453

Someone who tried to traffick me to the internet got his personal information leaked as well. It feels good to have some sort of justice on the internet.

Anonymous 41454

d7e23fec-5cb2-48b2…

>>41436
Try and get some involvement in your local gay community, if you're a student there's probably a gay society you could join.

Anonymous 41459

1591645950522.png

>>41445
>Can you explain it further?
which part?
i think i've always liked girls but as soon as i was old enough to comprehend that it's frowned upon and some people get killed for it, that's when i started to repress. "it's ok" i thought, "i'm only protecting myself" but every time i forced myself to pretend to like men i felt like dying. it made me uncomfortable. it made me depressed.
i met so many girls who were into me but i couldn't be with them because i was too scared. but i'm not scared anymore, i don't think. i just have to not die and everything will be okay
>>41454
my uni has one of those, i wanted to join it but then quarantine happened

Anonymous 41462

>>41459
Like, what did you find attractive about girls? Was it the feminity, the kindness, what you had in common physically? Did you cope with dating more effeminate men?

Anonymous 41463

>>41462
>Like, what did you find attractive about girls?
Gee, probably not their fat tits and ass and their curves.

Women are actually so beautiful and aesthetic it's no surprise there are so many bi women, including me.

Not that anon, but I had to.

Anonymous 41465

>>41463
Oh, it's perversion. I thought it was something a bit deeper. It must be tough having moid brain.

Anonymous 41469

gfs.png

>>41462
>what did you find attractive about girls?
i just click with them in a way that i've never felt with a guy
>Did you cope with dating more effeminate men?
no i went the opposite way, i made myself think that i liked hypermasculine men so that nobody would even doubt my heterosexuality lol. maybe i overdid it but oh well
>>41463
this but without the blatant misogyny

Anonymous 41470

>>41469
How did you know you never liked effeminate boys? Did you avoid them because they made you doubt your own sexuality even a little?

Anonymous 41471

1593023853911.jpg

>>41414
>I'm already 23 and I'm going to start to deteriorate in 2 years, maybe 7 if I'm actually lucky. I feel so fucking bad.
¿? Nope anon, you're only getting better, don't fall for the wall meme and take good care of yourself! Your body is your temple.

t. anon that became a literal goblin during puberty and now is seeing the light

Anonymous 41472

i like toxins.jpg

>>41470
>How did you know you never liked effeminate boys?
idk i just knew, even if they are feminine and i like that trait in women, the fact that they're men is a complete turn off for me. even with masculine men i could at least pretend i liked them because i think they're more aesthetically pleasing, like i can recognize that they're good-looking, but in my eyes effeminate men are not v good-looking, i dunno
>Did you avoid them because they made you doubt your own sexuality even a little?
definitely avoided them, i just didn't want anyone to think i liked anything related to femininity

Anonymous 41473

When men pretend to be individual women its deeply disturbing. It feels like a predator pretending to be its prey. I don't mean agp men or trans women, men who catfish as women they know

Anonymous 41474

>>41472
>i just didn't want anyone to think i liked anything related to femininity
Yeah. That's kind of what I was talking about. Do you think people would've come down on you if you even tried just dating guys that were more on the soft side?

Anonymous 41475

>>41465
Lol. It's not tho. Like what much else there is to say in the context of sexual orientation? You can't really say ''Oh I'm into women because they are smart and kind'' because being smart or kind is not exclusively a female trait.

Anonymous 41476

I'm getting the strange feeling that there's someone/something pushing a certain topic on /b/ and /hb/. The posts I see there about it don't make sense to me, I don't know.

Anonymous 41477

>>41475
Dimorphism isn't just in the body but the mind as well. Men have a lot of different mindsets and social cues that can make them pretty unappealing. It's what they're raised into as well that can shape them in just about all the wrong ways.

Anonymous 41478

starryeyes.png

>>41474
you are a really curious person anon. but that's okay, i've always been an oversharer
>Do you think people would've come down on you if you even tried just dating guys that were more on the soft side?
i don't know for sure but i didn't want to risk it, my friends are family are all decent people but most of them are homophobic. my lesbian aunt was disowned when she came out and i saw on the news that some gay people had been killed in my state around the time i was discovering my sexuality, which is another big reason why i started repressing

Anonymous 41480

>>41478
>you are a really curious person anon
Always have been. I'm glad you're over sharing.
>i didn't want to risk it
There's no risk, now. You're in a curious state, so it's good to try what you thought was forbidden. It helps to find out where you stand. Sorry about your family.

Anonymous 41481

Today I got dumped for the third time. My bf just ghosted me. My bpd drives every guy away. I don’t even cheat or abuse them or anything, I just have horrible insecurity and hate myself too much. He held in there longer than the others but he hates me now. I kept telling him ‘you’re gonna abandon me arent you’ over and over until he finally did. It makes me sad because he was a really good guy and I just drove him to the end of his rope. I can’t keep a man. I’m too much hard work. That was my last shot.

Anonymous 41482

>>41346
Oh man it’s literally any demographic of men of any age, although it is worse around attractive men.

Anonymous 41483

>>41478
Just know that you're not alone in this situation anon. I feel for you, hope we can both make it and eventually be happy and not have to hide.

Anonymous 41484

>>41481
Have you ever apologised for this kind of talk before? Maybe it isn't too late.

Anonymous 41485

where is the post about the girl mad about having to eat ramen in uni while surrounded by rich little shits

Anonymous 41486

e46f16f9_original.…

>>41478
*friends and family
>>41480
i'm not about to go out in the streets waving a rainbow flag screaming about how much i love girls, but at least now i don't have to date men or force myself to do anything i don't want to hah
>>41483
thank you, this means a lot to me. i hope things get better for the both of us too

Anonymous 41489

>>41476
People in general tend to make topics about the same things over and over again. Don't worry about it. There's not many topics to choose after all

Anonymous 41490

>>41486
>go out in the streets waving a rainbow flag screaming about how much i love girls
I'm not saying you can't do that. Just don't box yourself in. Explore yourself. People come in all shapes and sizes.

Anonymous 41494

>>41484
I apologized so many times it’s become meaningless. We broke up and made up about a thousand times. To his credit, he was extremely patient with me. But my trust issues towards men are from being sexually abused as a kid and I just couldn’t overcome them, was extremely jealous and constantly worried he was cheating, just a nightmare I guess, and the poor guy just couldn’t take it anymore. I just hate how guys never accept a breakup from a girl, and always have to make the decision and feel in control. I warned him so many times and told him to date a nice normie girl so many times. They pretend they can handle it and then they sucker punch you and abandon you. I hate this fucking illness.

Anonymous 41501

>>41494
>I just hate how guys never accept a breakup from a girl
>They pretend they can handle it and then they sucker punch you and abandon you
Anon you're really not helping yourself with these thoughts.

Anonymous 41511

I just want to yell about some of my pet peeves when it comes to online forums. I argue on the internet from time to time. Not the healthiest hobby but sometimes I just want to argue. But some people just go way too extremes and way to far. The internet has bred this culture around arguing, its nearly on all social media platforms. Cancel culture has been a thing way before it had a name. So arguments will always exist on the internet, over anything to the most minute thing. I know I have plenty of cringe worthy post on this site.

- They try to be personable. Personally I hate this one the most. I have to hate this argument style the most. It's always been around, but its just getting more and more worst. They just try to act like they know you. They try to carter their argument around this concept of who they think they're talking to. It such a mishapen cookie cutter thought of a person. I just hate it because most oif the time who they thin k they're talking to, doesn't actually apply to who they really are talking to.

- The moral high ground. Ive notice this one a lot of CC as of late. People trying to act like they're better then others and talk down to them. It really just people set in their own point of views and not willing to accept others. It just really irks me when they start becoming more and more irrational. At that point I consider the argument a lost and bail.

- Strawman.Just jumping to the most possible extreme. Like I get it and I dont get it at the same time. Yes the most possible extreme can and probably does exist, but its just a small percentage of the actual topic.

Anonymous 41515

>>41384
iktf. i practice a lot of anime-world escapism.
>>41439
>karens
it's the punchable face syndrome, but instead of the face it's the entire person and their god damned attitude problem. i wonder if they know i'm barely holding back the urge to jump on them and let my inner ape beat the crap out of them, while they stand there nagging me, a total stranger, over stupid bullcrap. i wonder if they know i'm just waiting for them to put a hand on me so i can have legal justification. i wonder if she knew i was already picking which part of her face i was gonna put my fist through.

i'm not a violent person, but karens do something to me.

Anonymous 41516

>>41515
Karen's are the end result of society giving attractive women what they want easier then they would others, then, as those women lose their looks, their sense of entitlement remains unchanged. Now people aren't treating them that way and they thought it was because of something internal about them, rather than external. If it is internal, then it is those who the Karen is talking to that is at fault, rather than the Karen having to face the fact that others treated her nice only because she looked good.

Anonymous 41517

>>41516
I disagree. karens are certainly not necessarily attractive at all. it's just a princess complex. society raises women to never face consequences for their actions. they walk around and bully people, insult people, get in people's faces and threaten them, and never get their nose broken because society teaches men to never, ever hit a woman. so these cunts strut around (god i sound like a moid i swear i'm not) and act like no one can touch them and they can do whatever they want to whoever they want and no one has the right to say something to them.

as for me i grew up in a ghetto with heavy gang activity. if you mouthed off to the wrong person they would fucking shoot you. karens only come from middle and upper middle class. they're not even all white. just any sheltered daddy's girl cunt who never got her ass kicked as a result of running her mouth. i've seen black and latino karens too. meanwhile where i'm from, "talk shit get hit" is a serious and imminent threat not just a funny meme. i was raised that you NEVER go up to strangers and fuck with them because you DO NOT KNOW what is going on with them. maybe they're psychotic. maybe they just walked away from a murder scene, maybe they're looking for an excuse because they had a bad day. you don't fucking know, so mind your own business. karens don't understand that. on a fundamental level they are incapable of understanding that random strangers on the street do not need to recognize them as a figure of authority. that means one and only one thing, that they grew up sheltered and spoiled. spoiled little brats in an upper middle class gated community. and then these CUNTS have the audacity to come try shit with me. i'm not having it. i'll break their fucking nose. i know the law to the letter and i am just waiting for the green signal to beat them senseless.

if i ever went up to a stranger and did that karen shit my dad would have whooped my ass. they're just overgrown spoiled little brats who have never stepped foot in the real world.

Anonymous 41518

>>41515
She flipped out on me for not asking her about her day. I just want "Welcome, how may I help you?" She began to explain that I was rude to her and I needed to be retrain in customer service, because I didn't ask her about her day. I was confused and didn't know what to say because she was just going off. And she kept trying to step around the counter and I kept saying stay six feet away. She flips and starts cussing me out. Because she doesn't need to stand six feet away, she doesn't have covid. My coworker had to tell her to leave and she started to throw the c*nt around.

Anonymous 41519

>>41518
>>41518
that sucks. i hate when people are rude to customer service workers. i used to work in a starbucks and a customer (a metrosexual black male who thought he was some billionaire CEO) was rude to me that he lost his receipt for his $2 coffee and wanted me to print him a new receipt, during the middle of rush hour when i had a line of 20 people. he was so mean that i started crying, and the other customers heckled him and scolded him until he left because they knew i couldn't say anything or i'd get fired.

it's a very petty and miserable person who is rude to people in low end jobs. i go out of my way to try and be nice to them because i just feel so bad that others treat them like human garbage. especially middle management types, they're the worst human beings on the planet. they're so rude to people and act like they're hot shit. i just can't stand them.

Anonymous 41520

>>41519
Some people just got off to beating people down. It makes them feel more powerful and entitled. They go after ones they know that can't fight back.

>>41517
Agree that it's entitled children growing up to be entitled adults. Who probably haven't had the misfortune of working minimal wage in their life and or in the boomer age range. Not far fetch.

Anonymous 41521

>>41517
>I disagree. karens are certainly not necessarily attractive at all.
That's the point, they no longer are. They were, now they aren't.

Anonymous 41523

D4D6074E-C6C6-4668…

i feel so alienated from others and it’s become infinitely worse because of covid, i keep having daily breakdowns

Anonymous 41526

>>41517
>society teaches men to never, ever hit a woman
To be fair, that's a good sentiment, but the problem is that the reasoning is just "because you're a man and she's a woman and men don't hit women."
The issue is that if the average man goes 100% on the average woman, he's very likely to send her to the hospital in one or two strikes. People in general should be taught not to use serious retaliatory force against those much smaller than them, on top of being taught never to initiate an altercation with anyone.

Anonymous 41527

I don't love my fiance. I've never loved anyone. I don't think I'm even capable of love. Sometimes I think everyone in a relationship is pretending.

Anonymous 41528

I feel like my mother is always pulling the "Well, there's starving children in African who have it worse!" shtick on me whenever I open up about my feelings. It just makes me feel like complete shit.

Anonymous 41530

>>41527
Why don't you leave him?

Anonymous 41531

>>41527
Lol did he bend the knee for you like a good boy

Anonymous 41532

>>41518
>I just want "Welcome, how may I help you?" She began to explain that I was rude to her and I needed to be retrain in customer service, because I didn't ask her about her day.
As much as I hate working in general, I'm glad I was able to land the job I have at a Korean store.
I don't even have to open my mouth for most of the day, and 90% of what I do say is just "have a good evening" as they leave. In the year I've worked there I've only had one customer say anything at all to me about being more friendly.
I feel like being a cashier somewhere like HEB would kill me inside, having to wear that mask of kindness all day.

Anonymous 41533

>>41530
I'm scared to be alone and I like having him around.
>>41531
No, we were both sitting down.

Anonymous 41536

my boyfriend confessed he had something going on with a guy before we got together, he insist he's not gay but in the end said he might be bisexual
I really have bad feeling about it, that he might realize at one point he's more into men, I really didn't expect that

Anonymous 41537

>>41536
Have you heard of the bi-cycle?

Anonymous 41538

fbd3bd90-570f-4d02…

>>41536
Depending on the guy it might not be a worry. But if he seems hung up on it I wouldn't trust him.

Anonymous 41540

>>41537
sure, and it keeps me wondering what will happen on a trip with his male friends
>>41538
It screwed up my plans for future so bad. He's honestly a very great guy, that's why it bothers me so much.

Anonymous 41547

>>41528
Open up to the next closest person you have in your life.
>>41533
Do you think there's a reason you feel so numb?

Anonymous 41549

>>41540
theres a chance he's just attracted to men but doesn't ultimately want to have a serious relationship or end up with one due to discrimination, not being able to have kids and the reactions from family and friends.
i don't think most bi (not closet gay) men would choose a relationship with a woman whom he can have kids and a traditional future with over a man. i feel it's likely that after this relationship with a man he had, he probably felt a bit disgusted in himself.

Anonymous 41550

>>41549
that was meant to be, i don't think most bi (not closet gay) men WOULDN'T choose a relationship with a woman whom he can have kids and a traditional future with over a man.

Anonymous 41554

>having fun in RMG
>it was made by a moid apparently
>said moid comes out and declares he's a moid
>for bragging rights or something?
>now the entire thread is deleted instead of him simply being banned
Should we just make another one?
The idea kind of feels tainted right now.
Maybe it would be best to wait a while.

Anonymous 41555

>>41554
is there proof it was the actual op and not just some guy looking to ruin our fun?

Anonymous 41557

>>41555
Either way it doesn't matter now.
Everybody will just see it as a male fetish thread.
Though it would be kind of dumb to let moids having a fetish for something you like stop you from liking it.
Moids have a fetish for everything afterall.
I honestly wonder if a single shitpost will be enough to kill off this idea for good.

Anonymous 41559

>>41554
You guys are dumb, of course it was a moid. The thread was creepy as fuck. You were all acting like incels who get off to the idea of making the opposite gender something less than human. Exactly the shitty kind of dehumanizing threads you'd find on 4chan. Glad that shit is gone.

Anonymous 41560

How to not base my self worth on sexual desirability

I was sexually abused as a small child for years. I was in an adult relationship where much of that abuse was repeated, and in even worse ways.

I am not promiscuous at all, and I hate male attention. I seek validation from my partner sexually, but it's never enough, and it's the most sensitive topic for me. He can barely compliment me without me finding a mistake or potential negative, and I'm always watching him like a hawk when we go out, checking his eyes and pants to see if anyone else arouses him. If I think so, it feels like a major blow and I hate myself. I can never get enough sex from him. I always feel ugly to him. How do I kick myself out of this miserable cycle. I hate reading usual stuff on this crap because it assumes the woman is promiscuous, and I almost wish I were, maybe I'd somehow feel more fulfilled that way.

Anonymous 41562

>>41555
Any mods here think they could weigh in on this?

Anonymous 41565

>>41560
you should see a therapist and focus on yourself and being single

Anonymous 41567

>>41559
This.

Anonymous 41568

>>41559
>fetish thread is entirely fetishistic
What did you expect?
And it was a fantasy thread anyway, one revolving around the idea of entirely different sexual dimorphism.

Anonymous 41569

>>41568
I don't care if it's a fetish thread or not. That's not an excuse to act like an incel.

Anonymous 41570

>>41569
Incels don't want the responsibility of having to take care of and build trust with their partner.
Incels just want power while expecting everything to be handed to them without earning it.
So i don't get how participating in a RM thread is acting like an incel.
Are women not allowed to have fetishes?

Anonymous 41572

>>41570
It seemed to really bother some miners, who were seething about it in the thread.
Maybe one of the mods was among those and took her chance.

Anonymous 41573

>>41527
You better break up with him before he loses the ability to trust anybody again.
And go to therapy.

Anonymous 41575

>>41572
Should we bother reviving it?
It was a genuinely fun thread with how active it was, and was a nuce change of pace from the usual role reversal.
Though it qoukd be hard to convince the people who left because they now think it's some sort of male oriented giantess erp to come back.
Funny how much a single post messed everything up.
Probably wasn't even the op,just somebody who wanted to shitpost.

Anonymous 41578

>>41575
I think just leave it be. Clearly one of the mods has an issue with it and removed it using the first excuse they could use. It's just going to get deleted again.
Maybe another cute fetish will naturally arise again in some time.

Anonymous 41579

>>41578
Do mods get exchanged around here like on 4chan?
If so we could wait for whoever deleted it to be cycled out.

Anonymous 41580

>>41575
>>41578
Could always try again in a month or so when it's not so fresh in everyone's minds.

Anonymous 41584

>>41570
Yeah go and have your thread about dehumanizing a person and treating them as a glorified pet. That's not shitty and creepy at all.
A moid was literally putting degrading male fantasy ideas in your head and you went and actually asked for more. Kys.

Anonymous 41585

>>41584
>Onoes! Those dastardly moids brainwashed us again!

Anonymous 41587

>>41578
Damn, this sucks, but it's probably the best option tbh

Anonymous 41588

>>41584
The whole raccoon moid thing predated him making a thread about it(if he even actually was the op and not somebody with a dynamic ip who wanted the thread gone).
And if anything the thread would be degrading for the moids, not miners.
We wouldn't be the ones stuffed in gymbags and forced to wear cute outfits 24/7 afterall.

Anonymous 41595

1587074043222.jpg

>>41307
I've decided to change my major, uni and gave up on my IT course for something less profitable
What do you mean? Greentext pleaze?

Anonymous 41598

chibitalia.jpg

>>41511

> The moral high ground. Ive notice this one a lot of CC as of late. People trying to act like they're better then others and talk down to them. It really just people set in their own point of views and not willing to accept others. It just really irks me when they start becoming more and more irrational. At that point I consider the argument a lost and bail.

This. I can argue or make fun of boys on other imageboards but here what you just described frustrates me the most. I don't understand why sometimes an anon replies to my very 1st post in a thread with such mean answer.

Anonymous 41599

f4ab4534-4e97-4bd4…

>>41307
If it's something you're passionate or enjoy more than that's not a waste anon.

Anonymous 41606

>>41307
Generic IT degrees aren't as profitable as they used to be anyway.

Anonymous 41621

i think that i'm able to like virtually anything as long as i talk to someone who's really passionate about it, i'm maybe too easily swayed. and it makes me feel weird because it's like i don't have a real personality i'm just copying other people's uniqueness
but i wonder if they stole it from others too? i don't know. it's weird

Anonymous 41623

>>41578
>>41580
Yeah I think it would be best to revive it in october or december.
At least long enough for whatever person was buttmad about it to forget about it.
Shame too, it was a really cute thread.

Anonymous Admin 41626

>>41562
Yes, the comment about OP being a man came from the OP. Sorry.

When posting something that requires mod attention, please report it so I see it asap, thank you <3

Anonymous 41628

>>41626
Damn that's a shame, especially since this whole thing seemingly predates him.
Was he the original poster for this whole raccoon thing or was he just the one who made the actual thread?
Was he actually active in the thread or did he leave after making it?
pretty creepy either way

Anonymous 41630

There's this buzz under my skin and a voice nagging in my head. It's telling me that I'm not doing enough, that I'm wasting time while others are out seizing the day. They always tell you to live to the fullest, but how much is enough? When will I feel full? I just feel so inadequate.

Anonymous 41631

>>41626
What about this post >>39939 that started it all? Was this also made by him? If yes, too bad. I found the whole idea entertaining.

Anonymous 41633

>>41630
There's two sides to "enough:" how much you feel you need to do, and how much you physically and mentally are able to do. Both are at odds with each other: your will is boundless and constant, and you'll always be able to think of something new you could be doing and time you could be wasting, but you only have so much energy in yourself to try and chase after that will. Those sides also mean that you can easily live your life out of balance: you can be so consumed by your will that you drive yourself into the ground taking on so many responsibilities and seeking out so many leads, but you can also be exactly where you are now, your will biting at you to do more than you're doing.

The only answer I can come up with is to cultivate a strong enough sense of self that you know what kind of person you want to be and what kind of things you want to be doing, a strong enough understanding of your situation to figure out what you could be doing to start moving yourself closer to those things and that person, a strong enough courage to go and do them, and a strong enough self-awareness to recognize when you're starting to burn yourself out. "Fullness" is probably finding that balance between all those sides, so that you're constantly but sustainably moving forward.

And because all of these are internal metrics, comparing yourself to others isn't going to help you much. It can help build that sense of self by saying "that's the kind of person I want to be," but their limits aren't yours (nor do you really know what they are), so it's meaningless to try and chase after them on their level. Any sense of fulfillment will have to come from what you see in yourself, of yourself.

Sorry for the essay, you just kinda kicked off my mind.

Anonymous 41634

>>41632
I can't necessarily speak for your parents, but if they're good people, the most important thing that's guiding their lives is making sure they their children are doing well for themselves. Almost no parent wants to feel as if they've become a burden to their child's growth. I'm currently living with my 72 year old dad right now and I help him with everything - scheduling his doctor's appointments and taking him, buying groceries, fixing stuff around the house, helping with his computer, etc - and he still talks about me about how I should be thinking more about moving out because I won't be able to bring a guy over as long as I'm living with him. There's so much he literally wouldn't be able to do without me, and he's still just thinking about my future.

You live for your parents, but they live for you too. I'm certain they know you love them, and that you want to keep close physically and emotionally to them. But I think what would probably be more important to them is knowing that you're in school and doing the best you can for yourself. Most parents understand that at some point the kids will leave the nest and they'll be physically alone, but that's part of deal. But you can still be a close part of their lives: call them often, send them emails and letters, ask if there's anything they need help with, visit them when you get the chance. I think if they know you're doing your best and that you still love them deeply, they'll be just fine.

Anonymous 41635

>>41634
Bummer, was that poster a dude?

Anonymous 41637

>>41631
That post didn't start it all.
It was just the first to use raccoons as a size comparison.
>>39867 came significantly before it and brought up gym bags, >>39623 used housecats as the comparison, and >>39506 actually started it all. The ball started rolling days before that post.

Anonymous 41647

70814ECB-D8A9-4633…

so im working on getting back together w my ex who im convinced is the love of my life. things seem to be going unrealistically well (hes mentally ill and refuses to get medicated or take therapy seriously so it made our previous relationship rly toxic but hes grown a lot). we've even spoken abt moving in together once the pandemic ends (im in america hes EU). the issue that keeps coming up is my weight. hes super attracted to me and when we were together we were intimate a lot but im worried hes embarrassed to be with me because im fat. he gets embarrassed of his friends knowing what i look like. but he says he still loves me and it doesnt matter but he doesnt find me physically attractive, only personality wise. i know i should be grateful because many ppl struggle with the opposite but i want him to want to show me off and find me pretty, like that means a lot to me.

so what do i do? do i sacrifice a potentially promising relationship with the love of my life just because he doesn't appreciate my body? or should our private relationship be enough for me? should i respect his boundaries about me not meeting his friends (he says its because of language barrier, but i think its because he doesnt want them to know hes in an intimate relationship with a fat girl)? i know he loves me and hes never even had sex with anyone other than me and we've been broken up for over a year. i just wish i was attractive enough to be his ideal partner

Anonymous 41648

>>41647
Have you considered losing weight?

Anonymous 41649

>>41647
It’s kind of a red flag to me that he feels embarrassed showing you off to his friends. I feel like a person should feel proud to be seen with the person they love. You could lose weight, but I know that’s easier said than done.

Anonymous 41650

>>41647
This sounds a little weird. Have you been with him in person for an extended period before?

>hes never even had sex with anyone other than me

How do you know this?

I'm getting vibes that this dude might be trying to tell you what you want to hear to stay with him but without actually needing to do stuff that shows that he's in a relationship with you.

Anonymous 41651

>>41647
The idea of being ashamed to be seen with someone else even if I like that person is foreign to me, but I'm not very sociable in general and don't tend to care what others think, so maybe it's common and I'm the weird one.
On one hand, if you're able to lose weight (at least enough to drop out of the "overweight" range,) it would carry nothing but benefits for you even outside of your relationship. However, it's also possible that his hangup about your weight is simply symptomatic of a larger issue with his personality and that even if you did get a supermodel body, he'd find some other flaw with you to put strain on your relationship in the future. There's not really any way of knowing for sure.

How much weight are we talking about?

Anonymous 41652

>>41647
The answer is very simple yet you don't even consider it. Loose weight. You'll be healthy, he'll be attracted to you, and you'll have an even better relationship that doesn't end with you dying from clogged arteries.
I personally think he's embarrassed of you being an American stereotype, the "fat ignorant American" who doesn't speak their language. I'm not saying you're like that, just that Europeans have a boner for hating Americans so he knows how his friends will react.

Anonymous 41653

>>41648
i mean, im a fat person whos grown up fat my whole life, ofc ive considered it but i quite like my body and the way i look, and i think just changing myself for him or anyone else isn't right

>>41650
we're very honest and transparent with each other. i lived with him for about 5 months. i know he wouldnt lie to me about the sex thing or love thing

>>41651
i hate conveying my size in numbers as i think its harder to imagine as a body, but im a US dress size 16, sometimes 14. he's french and he's always told me that i "dont understand how important size is to french beauty standards". i dont wish to lose weight because 1) i have no issues with my body or health issues and 2) he doesnt seem to have issues either or he wouldnt be so physical with me. i just dont understand why shame plays such a large role in our relationship dynamic as soon as we're in front of other people.

>>41649
thank you for this, this is how i feel.

>>41652
i actually do speak french well enough to have studied at sorbonne lol he just thinks im not good enough conversationally yet will only speak to me in english.. as for the comments abt losing weight please see above, i dont think just giving in to losing weight for him would be fully addressing the issue nor do i want to

Anonymous 41654

>>41653
Honestly I think any reason to loose weight is a good reason. In the end, you're the one who benefits the most from not being fat. If the initial motivation has to come from someone else so be it. Once you lose the weight you'll most likely want to stay like that for yourself and not anybody else.

So he's French? Say no more. The French hate Americans more than any other euro country. They will not speak to you in French unless you can do it perfectly (they get butthurt because you're "butchering" their language), and they definitely won't have a good opinion of you. Honestly these assholes will always hate the way you are now. I wouldn't even bother to get to know them, they're most likely bitter cunts like most French people and wouldn't be good friends anyway.

Anonymous 41656

>>41653
>as i think its harder to imagine as a body
It's not about "imagining it as a body."
Unless you're a bodybuilder, it's pretty easy to figure out where the line is for an acceptable weight vs one's height, beyond which you begin putting strain on your body proportional to the amount of extra weight.
Not having been diagnosed with any specific health conditions yet is not the same as "being healthy."
>he doesnt seem to have issues either or he wouldnt be so physical with me
You said in your first post that he doesn't find you physically attractive. I guess the fact that he's still intimate with you means that he doesn't personally find you off-putting either, but I wouldn't consider that a huge win.

What the other anon said about not wanting his friends to think he's dating a stereotype makes sense to me, as well. I've heard of guys being ashamed of their gfs for worse/dumber reasons than that. I have a hard time saying he's "in the right," so to speak, but his feelings are what they are.
I think it's up to you to decide whether you care enough about interacting with his friends to either put effort into reaching a decent weight or break things off and try to find someone who is physically attracted to fat people.
You could take the third option of just doing neither and trying to get him to be public with you anyway, but I feel like he'll only ever do it begrudgingly if at all, and I don't know if you'd ever really be satisfied with the relationship like that.

Anonymous 41657

>>41653
When you say "mentally ill," what exactly do you mean? What happened that made you guys break up, and what's happened since then that's make you think he's grown?

It's just kinda concerning that he would want to hide you from his friends, even if it's something like "you don't speak the language well enough," as long as you feel comfortable enough to try. Maybe I'm assuming too much of Frenchies, but the worst that should happen for him is that they'd bust his balls about your figure and French, but otherwise support him being in love. If he's truly so worried about how he'd look to the boys that he'd rather keep you out of sight and is actively telling you that your weight is a problem (even obliquely), it makes me wonder about if his internal conflict about your physical attractiveness vs your personality is deeper than he's letting on, like what >>41651 is getting at.

As long as you refuse to lose the weight, I have my suspicions that he's going to keep harboring this internal divide in him, and that that might slowly burn a hole in this relationship for him. After all, if he's gonna be the love of your life, how long is he planning on not letting the world know?

Anonymous 41661

36fa0a2d-9d9d-4a24…

>>41647
Make some changes to your diet and integrate some exercise into your routine. If you keep trying you can become healthier and more attractive.

Anonymous 41663

>>41647
Of course you should work on being healthy but a dude who puts his friends above you, who's literally ashamed of being seen with you doesn't deserve either you, fat or skinny. Whatever you do, do it for yourself, not for some scrote.
Sad that so many anons only focus on telling you to lose weight, as if what he does is justified, he shouldn't have started dating you in the first place if afterwards he demands you change how he wants you to. Just because you don't have a nice body now, doesn't mean you don't deserve to be treated with respect by the person who claims to love you.
And if his friends look down on you for being American, then it's also his job to defend you, that's what normal lovers should do.

Anonymous 41664

>>41663
>he shouldn't have started dating you in the first place if afterwards he demands you change how he wants you to
This, it's one thing to push your partner to improve for the sake of their own health and wellbeing, entirely another to be too "ashamed" of them to bring them up in front of your friends, that's fucked up. I don't see how someone who relegates you to the role of a dirty little secret could be the love of your life.

Anonymous 41667

i always feel worthless and i've started talking to my ex again and i think it's made it worse. i idolize them a lot and it just ends up making me feel more worthless than before. i'm not sure if this feeling is directly because of them or if it would have happened with anyone. they just feel like a much better, "truer" version of the person that i was meant to be, and the more i talk to them the more meaningless i feel. idk what to do and i'm afraid i'll keep digging myself into this hole until i kill myself

Anonymous 41670

>>41647
I'm from Europe and some of my female friends are overweight and they date skinny guys. No one shames them or bullies them for this.
You might not like what I say, but I think I know the reason why he doesn't want to introduce you to his friends or family. He already has a side gf. If he seems genuinely physically attracted to you in person, then that's honestly the only logical explanation I can think of. Please try to lower your expectations.

Anonymous 41671

I love that twitter bios now have criteria of "don't follow me if you're planning on insulting me and my family" Calling out all the toxic people. Do not interact if you're planning on getting my family involved into public internet drama

Anonymous 41672

>>41671
yeah that's gonna stop them… DNI lists are so retarded

Anonymous 41673

3362f3c4-9249-4041…

>>41667
I think you should stop talking to your ex, this way you will just hurt yourself. It's best to let him go and work on yourself.

Anonymous 41674

>>41672
I know its not going to stop anyone but its still nice that people are calling it out instead of being silent

Anonymous 41675

My anxiety makes me miserable to the point where I got a panic attack and ran away from one place. I wish I could do a basic minimum wage job but recruiters don't call me back or I fuck everything up and resign after two days because I can't deal with anything. Nobody treats me seriously, especially my parents and I isolated myself from everybody.
I need a hug.

Anonymous 41677

>>41675
You need professional help.

Anonymous 41678

>>41677
I know anon. The problem is, I can't afford it at all. Inpatient mental health care for adults is pretty awful in my country and I don't want to deal with an another traumatic experience

Anonymous 41688

>>41663
>>41664
Imagine you were in love with a guy who, despite having a perfect personality, was a fat greasy neckbeard and refused to do basic hygiene.
Wouldn't you be embarrassed to show him off to your friends? Wouldn't you constantly push him to change so that you could both be with him and be attracted to him?

Anonymous 41741

i got banned from lolcow for 24 hours for agreeing with others that twitter users suck kek feels bad because i have never been banned before and i feel like i did nothing wrong

Anonymous 41749

>>41741
lolcow can be a bit stupid with bans. I've been banned a bunch of times for going mildly off topic while other people appear not to have been banned for worse things. I think users report comments they don't like much more regularly and just make up a reason when they submit.

Anonymous 41750

>>41749
for real? i have never reported a post and i dont understand why someone would go out of their way to do it for something (especially something that is a non-issue). the raeson i was banned was apparently because i ignored what farmhands were saying even though i didnt do anything on their list of what leads to a ban… anyway, i decided to come here and try it out! i like it here just wish it was a tad faster… do you frequent both sites?

Anonymous 41751

>>41688
I find it a little hard to believe I'd be really in love with someone like that, and even if I did have at least a crush, it'd be a hard "I'm not dating you until you start taking care of yourself."

Anonymous 41752

>>41750
Yeah, I prefer it here though. I like that you can bump old threads and there's a lot of discussions on niche topics. Apart from being too slow, the other downside is that there are a lot of men that seem to post here. Thankfully they seem to stick to /b/ and are easy to spot and ignore.

Tbh, the only reason I visit lolcow is because I vaguely know one of the cows. I think the site is too nitpicky and negative to enjoy.

Anonymous 41760

I hate how sometimes in a otome game all the choices are meh. Like the choices feel too dumb or annoying because you want to take charge but the mc is too passive.

Anonymous 41762

>>41647
How much do you weigh though? Are you just a little chubby or are you seriously overweight?

Anonymous 41766

9d63ddfa-3b15-4217…

I feel like talking zooloft has had serious consequences for me. I've had a lot more depressive episodes and I always seem to have this feeling of lingering dread. I used to just feed calm and neutral but gradually I've become very anxious and paranoid.

Anonymous 41768

>>41766
That seems like the exact sort of thing to bring up with your psychiatrist. Your meds may need to be tweaked or even changed.

Anonymous 41769

>>41678
Have you considered video therapist apps like Betterhelp or Talkspace? They're licensed psychologists/therapists, but it'd be cheaper than a traditional outpatient doc.

Anonymous 41781

>>41688
>Wouldn't you be embarrassed to show him off to your friends?
No lmao, if he truly had the "perfect personality" there'd be nothing to be ashamed of, if I were so terrified of my friends possibly cracking a few jokes before going back to their own business as to throw my own partner under the bus it'd be unfair of me to date him in the first place, as stated before. Also "fat person" and "fat greasy neckbeard who refuses to do basic hygiene" is a pretty big jump to make, considering the unhygienic and greasy part is 1) fixable within 1 day 2) inconveniences people other than yourself. I know a large chunk of the internet likes to shit on fat people every chance they get to feel better about themselves but (obviously with the exception of grossly obese cases) it's in fact possible to be fat and look like a presentable member of society. I've known several overweight girls in high school and college that took otherwise good care of themselves while working on losing weight and enjoyed decent popularity, and I'm also from a part of Europe where fatness isn't as common. I'm going to assume OP isn't a slob and the bf is most certainly not a martyr that's going to be forever ostracized and sent off to gulag for dating a less than conventionally attractive person. If he really loves her this should not be an issue, which is why I'm inclined to believe >>41761 is right about only dating her for comfort.

Anonymous 41803

>>41752
kek the men is the main reason i was a little reluctant to start coming here more tbh bc i heard that! i will have to look out for em lol

i have to read the rules more in depth but it seems more relaxed here. on lc one of my most frequented threads was to unpopular opinion one and nows the mods are constantly banning and stuff there which is weird because i have rarely seen that. its upsetting because i didnt mind the infighting or whatever as the thread was fun most of the time.

Anonymous 41822

For the second time in as many weeks, a guy friend I was close to has randomly ghosted me and the friend group in general.
And then been terse and short with me when I tried to find out why.

Im taking it personally even though I’m really trying hard not to, and it’s really setting off my shitty anxiety issues.
It’s stupid and it’s really pissing me off. And I’m starting to get pissed at them too.
One was a good friend, but this second one now is a friend I considered really close.
He was the first person other than my family who I spoke to about some big medical stuff, he’s always been there for me and I’ve always tried to be there for him too.
And then he just suddenly blocks me on everything, and does he same to half our friends.
And I just don’t know how to deal with this.
I feel like I’m being a whiny idiot even just being upset about it all.

Anonymous 41826

>>41822
he was just being nice and friendly because he wanted to fuck you. when he realised that wasn't going to happen he blocked you.

Anonymous 41827

>>41826
precisely. men always have a motive.

Anonymous 41829

>>41826
That wouldn't explain why he cut off so many mutual friends as well at exactly the same time.

Anonymous 41830

>>41829
he probably wanted to get away from everyone in that friend group. i mean, there's only do much you can do when someone pulls away.

Anonymous 41832

>>41822
How many times does this need to be said. Men dont want to be our friends. They may be interested in romantic and/or sexual relationahips, but they have no interest in purely platonic relationships with us. Its just not how they work. There might be a few outliers here and there, but theyre so rare they might not even exist. If you have a male "friend" he most likely just wants to fuck/date you. Either that or hes only talking to you because he gets some sort of validation/comfort from you and he doesn't care about you in the slightest. Also if you're always the one who initiates the coversations and interactions between the two of you he's just responding because he doesn't want to be rude, not because he actually wants to interact with you.

All "friendships" I had with men came from us being in the same environment (colleagues, classmates, same group of friends etc) but they never lasted after we stopped being in the same environment, no matter how close we were. Don't invest yourself in friendships with men, it's not worth it.

Anonymous 41833

>>41832
>All "friendships" I had with men came from us being in the same environment (colleagues, classmates, same group of friends etc) but they never lasted after we stopped being in the same environment
I'm this way, except with everyone I've ever known whether male or female.
Sure, I've never gone out of my way to contact any of them, but it only just now occurred to me that none of them have ever contacted me either.

Anonymous 41834

>>41832
>Either that or hes only talking to you because he gets some sort of validation/comfort from you and he doesn't care about you in the slightest.
Isn't the former all a friendship is? Are you telling me you weren't talking to them for the same reasons? Did talking to them not comfort or validate you?

Anonymous 41836

>>41826
>>41832

I wish I could believe it was just that, becuase that'd be super easy to get over.
I have had that happen before, but it's usually cut off at the pass because I'm gay and don't really associate with the sort of fuckboys who think 'lesbian' is just a preference rather than an orientation.

I really wish I could just box it away as 'he had a dumb crush and is being a child over it' but I cannot believe that can be true.
Which leaves me sitting here in my self-inflicted anxiety over it, absolutely certain I did nothing wrong but also absolutely certain it's my fault somehow.

Anonymous 41838

>>41836
Some people can just bug out like that.
I was in a Discord server once where the admin suddenly deleted it without warning and then posted a suicide message in the server someone else quickly made to replace it. Turns out he deleted the original by accident and in his panic thought faking suicide and ghosting everyone would be the best course of action. It got to the point where people were trying to piece together where he lived and contact local law enforcement, before we found out what had actually happened.
Maybe your guy is just fucked in the head and picked this moment to snap, who knows?

Anonymous 41839

>>41822
>>41836
There's just no way to know. I know that that's not a real answer and definitely not one that would satisfy your anxiety, but this is just one of those things where there's so much unknown. It could have been you, but it could have been someone else in the group. It could have been a severe depressive episode or some other mental issue that kicked off a sudden desire to isolate. It could be some sort of bizarre conspiracy where the friends he's still with all think there's something up with the part of the group he left. Unless you get an answer from him or from the friends he's still talking to, you just can't know.
This just seems like one of those times where you just have to cling to your own set of facts and take what little solace you can from them. You know you didn't do anything to him, and that there's no rational reason he would split from you. It's not your fault, and it's out of your hands.

Anonymous 41840

>>41834
Id say thats only a part of it. Yes people get validation and comfort from friendships, but I wouldnt say that alone constitutes a friendship. I also get comfort and validation from talking to strangers on the internet. Imo
someone is a friend if you care about them, about how theyre feeling, how well theyre doing, if you are willing to sacrifice things for them and so on.

See, like how this anon is feeling. Shes feeling bad about that person chosing to stop interacting with her and she worries that she mightve done something to hurt him. thats the difference between being someones friend and just interacting with someone because theyre making you feel a bit better
>>41836
As for your anxiety, the other anon is right, he mightve just short circuited in some way. Or who knows, maybe he has a perfectly rational reason to stop the connection with you and the rest of the group, maybe it was unhealthy for him in some way. Point is, its not your fault and its not your responsibility to do anything about it if he just decides to start ignoring you guys and wouldn't give a proper explanation. I get that youre probably aware of it and still cant help feeling bad, but a reminder cant hurt.

Anonymous 41841

>>41834
Absolutely not. Friends care about each other, full stop. They take pleasure in each other's happiness - we're happy when they are doing well, we're sad and worried when they're not. Even if the friend is good to us, we're not happy if we know that they're doing badly for themselves. It's not a business deal, it is a genuine connection of goodwill and love.

Anonymous 41842

1498394250871.jpg

>>41841
I'm not sure I've ever had a friend.

Anonymous 41843

Men have ruined the internet experience for me, when I get into feuds with women for me its always a one time generic insult on their side. When men on the internet get into fights its a disagreement lasting for years

Anonymous 41844

>>41842
It's possible, but I think it's also a feeling that's so obvious that we can forget it's happening, which is why so many people get this idea that friendship is transactional. Have you ever had a moment where someone you talked to a lot had something good happen to them, and you were genuinely happy for them?

Anonymous 41867

>>41838
>>41839
>>41840
Yeah the general consensus among most of the friends is that he's just having a bad time or something's generally up.
But at the same time, he's only unfriended about half the group, and has blocked me in particular.
That's what makes it really feel like I must have done something, but I can't even think what it might have been.

Either way, thanks for the kind words, everyone.
I'm going to try and just ignore it, I guess.
Honestly, though, I'm going to miss him.

Anonymous 41868

d11fa3c2-c478-437d…

>>41867
Maybe he's just going through some stuff right now and because he's close to you in particular he doesn't want you to contact him and worry about him. He may not be as close to the other members of the group and didn't bother with them like they did with you.

Anonymous 41875

>>41840
>Id say thats only a part of it. Yes people get validation and comfort from friendships, but I wouldnt say that alone constitutes a friendship. I also get comfort and validation from talking to strangers on the internet. Imo
someone is a friend if you care about them, about how theyre feeling, how well theyre doing, if you are willing to sacrifice things for them and so on.
The later doesn't contradict the former. If you get enough comfort and validation it can be considered worth it to make active attempts to maintain and protect the source of comfort and validation. Caring about their feelings is caring about their internal state so as to model future behavior, something also important to maintain and help regulate if you're hoping for further interactions in the future. Being willing to sacrifice for the other person just means short term losses are worthwhile for long term gains.
>See, like how this anon is feeling. Shes feeling bad about that person chosing to stop interacting with her and she worries that she mightve done something to hurt him. thats the difference between being someones friend and just interacting with someone because theyre making you feel a bit better
I don't see the difference, I would be worried about hurting my main source of comfort and validation as well. Unless you're arguing there's some sort of gestalt from the interactions. But if he didn't view the friendship as being important enough to continue having, did they really have a friendship or was she just throwing affection at someone?
>>41841
Why do they care about each other though? I would say because they find comfort and validation so frequently that they become treasured resources. The friendship has to start somewhere. You're not going to find an asshole on the street and declare "this is my friend who I care for!" no, you're going to find someone you like being around (i.e. receive and validation from) until a deeper bond is formed.
>It's not a business deal, it is a genuine connection of goodwill and love.
Why can business deals not be genuine connections of goodwill and love?

>>41844
Not from anyone other than my husband, and even with my husband, I know it's because mentally I've entered a transactional system with him in regards to various mental and emotional models.

Anonymous 41884

>>41875
>Why do they care about each other though? I would say because they find comfort and validation so frequently that they become treasured resources.
The problem is that such a clinical reading is not how we actually express and experience love, even if theoretically it could be the underlying reason for it. It's theorized that sugar tastes good because we have evolved to seek out energy sources and sugar is one of the most efficient means of conveying it to our bodies, but when we taste something with sugar, we don't think "I am tasting something that is efficiently conveying energy to my body;" we think "this tastes sweet." The actual experience is not a logical balancing of pros and cons - it's an emotional, sensual reaction, and that reaction is the lens that we perceive our relationship with. To focus on the transactional is like performing a vivisection on a sparrow to see how it sings - it's not that you won't learn something, but you certainly won't hear it sing anymore.

>Why can business deals not be genuine connections of goodwill and love?

Because business deals end when there's no longer a reasonable expectation of profit, but love continues even when the other can't provide for us anymore. We continue to love the person who becomes crippled, or the person who's life has gone deeply astray, or the person who has Alzheimer's, or the person who has died. We don't make calculations - we just do.

Anonymous 41891

tumblr_f5e6f35e4db…

i need to stop wanting other people to fix my problems but i can't. i'm so emotionally stunted god i hate myself

Anonymous 41892

seen on tinder:
>i'm an introvert so i probably won't message first
That isn't what introvert means. that's called being a wimp and making excuses for your failure to be a functioning human being.
t. angry actual introvert who isn't shy and wimpy.

Anonymous 41896

>>41892
>introvert
>uses tinder
I really wish nerd cred wasn't a thing. Let me be a freak alone.

Anonymous 41899

>>41670
You're response is illogical and of pure chance. Also really condescending. I think you should lower your expectation. Europoor. :) also not op here.

Anonymous 41901

>>41844
>Have you ever had a moment where someone you talked to a lot had something good happen to them, and you were genuinely happy for them?
Not that I can remember.

Anonymous 41902

>>41892
Maybe they mean that they want to catch fish in some capacity and care enough to at least set up an account, but they don't care enough to sit there casting lines all day and would rather just wait and see if any fish happen to swim into their net.
I'm the same kind of way in that I'd like to date someone in a general sense, but the amount of time and effort involved in weeding through people demotivates me so I'm just alone by default as I wait for the astronomical chance that someone approaches me.

Though maybe "introvert" isn't exactly the right term for that sort of apathy/acceptance of being alone.

Anonymous 41903

I feel like fainting. I'm ugly and I just have to deal with it. My dad was 6'3 with an ugly face and my mom was 5'1, attractive and mentally ill and I'm 5'3 with huge hands and feet, an ugly face, a receding chin that makes breathing difficult, saggy boobs, a lot of body hair, hip dips, a long, large labia that makes sitting very uncomfortable and brown eyes and hair(my dad had brown hair and green eyes and my mom had blonde hair and blue eyes). I was also born when they were both in their 40s so I'm autistic and ADHD(both diagnosed before age 10) and can't hold a job. I've never had friends and have been bullied all my fucking life all because my parents decided to breed. I don't really know whether I should just settle for suicide or what…

living is difficult.


Also, tor posting isn't working for some reason.

Anonymous 41904

>>41901
Bummer. Have you ever felt sad or bad when your friend was going through something tough or not feeling well emotionally?

Anonymous 41905

>>41904
Not that I can remember. For that matter, I'm not sure I've ever really known anyone well enough to even know that they're going through something tough or are feeling bad. I can't remember discussing such things with the people I'd talk to every day back in school and such.
I don't think I've ever even known or liked someone well enough to miss them when they were gone. Of the people I'd see and talk to every single day through high school and college, I haven't felt any desire to contact a single one of them after I stopped seeing them in person.

Anonymous 41906

>>41875
In what world do you live that emotions can be explained so easily as "I care about this person because they make me feel good"? I mean even if that wouldve been the case you could still make a clear distinction between friends you care for and people who give you some validation but you dont give a shit about. But your idea of how attachment works is absolutely ridiculous, people get attached to others who offer them no validation or comfort, people can develop absolutely no attachment towards others who shower them in validation and comfort. Stop with this larpy shit.

Anonymous 41909

Okay I promise this is the last episode of the 'My Friend Ghosted Me And I Feel Shitty Over It' OVA.

One of our mutual friends, who is also one of my best friends, reached out to him basically like 'Hey, so [me] doesnt know whats going on but she's pretty cut up about it, what's wrong? Did something happen?'

Long story short; he tells her that thinks im a right wing mouthpiece, who hates african americans/the disadvantaged.
For reference, when this was explained to everyone else in the group, the general response was extensive laughter and 'what the fuck'. I'm a left-leaning centrist, at most.
Basically what he did is completely misconstrue some things I said the other day when we were talking about riots in the US, and instead of actually asking me about any of it, he's pretty much put words in my mouth and then got super angry about them second-hand.
I went from being incredibly depressed and sad to being super angry and hurt in like, five seconds flat.
The fact that this fucker valued our friendship so little, after all these years, that he didnt even bother trying to find out if the retarded things he'd decided about me - against all previous experience of me and my OPINYUNZ - were even close to the truth? Im genuinely fucking angry.
I cannot fucking believe this shit.
Right now Im pretty much just wavering between 'holy shit how dare you' and 'flat emotionless void'.

SO yeah.
It's closure at least.
Infuriating, utterly retarded closure.
Fuck.

Anonymous 41910

>>41909
Jesus that's really fucking stupid of him.

Anonymous 41914

>>41909
He sounds like a retard and too invested in that asinine US cUltUrE wAr that seems to be in fashion.

Anonymous 41917

>>41899
Obsessed:
>weight
>height
>sex
>politics
And no confidence. Americano.

Anonymous 41922

>>41905
Huh. Well, maybe you're right, maybe you never had a friend. Did you ever want to have that kind of connection with someone?

Anonymous 41925

>>41905
>>41922
Well, I kinda take it back: you may have never had a close friend. If I'm honest, the other anon isn't totally wrong. There are different levels of friendship that are sorta on a sliding scale between the love I'm talking about and the transactional "we both have something to gain" that she was talking about. I guess I was being a little romantic by talking about loving friendships, but it's obvious that we don't have that with everyone we'd call a friend. Lower-ring friendships are totally cool - there are people who are pleasant to be around or can help us out with stuff but don't need to stick around for every stage of our life. But there's something about honest to god love that can't be replaced.

Anonymous 41926

>>41909
Had you ever talked politics with him before? Did you know what kind of shit he was on?

Anonymous 41927

>>41922
In general, yes, but never with any person in particular.
Having someone around whom I feel like I could completely drop my guard would be nice, I think. Constantly wearing a mask around others is tiring, and is probably the reason I usually prefer to be alone.
Sure, I've known people well enough before to share more than I would with just a random stranger, but I've never felt comfortable enough around someone to not have to constantly think about what I'm going to say or do, or how they might react.
Beyond that, though, I just don't think I've ever found anyone all that interesting.

Anonymous 41928

>>41927
What tends to bore you about the people you've met? Interests, personality, life story, something else?

Anonymous 41933

>>41902
why would i want a lazy guy who will never even put 2 seconds of effort into the relationship?

i never message guys first because it is the best filter possible to get rid of lazy, insecure, half-interested, passive men. guys like that should just go drown in a lake. they want a girl to fall out of the sky directly onto their dick. they aren't willing to take one single action towards that goal, they want someone else to do all the work, they want to export all the worry and insecurity and the pressue of possible rejection onto someone else. men like that are the absolute worst, they don't even deserve to breathe, they have no validity in existence at all. and even if you DID message them? then they'd realize they weren't messaging first because they're 'too cool for school', it's because they're spaghetti dropping little fags who will screw up something as a simple text message. i don't have time to deal with men who can't handle being an adult or deal with the normal pressures and difficulties involved in forming a relationship.

so here it is, the greatest tool ever given to womankind: if a guy can't even message first, he doesn't deserve to get a date with you. he doesn't even deserve to look at a photo of you on his phone screen.

introvert does NOT mean wimpy, whiny, scared, socially awkward, pansy-footed, lazy, selfish, passive, or romantically and socially incompetent. it means you enjoy spending time alone more than spending time with others most of the time. excusing your own weakness by saying "b-b-b-bub-bu-but i'm an introvert" is insulting to introverts.

Anonymous 41935

My brother mocks me the same way a stranger does! Wow! Getting off the internet doesn't stop harassment either!

Anonymous 41937

>>41933
And what of men that while open to a relationship, are simply not actively pursuing people?.
Would you want to miss out on him?
Also couldn't your entire wall of text apply in the reverse direction as well?

Anonymous 41938

>>41933
Subscribe for more advice from the crazy cat lady club

Anonymous 41941

1551564903025.webm

>>41909
Tbh I'd consider a guy like that ghosting me a blessing. He's isn't worth your time.

Anonymous 41945

>>41910
>>41914
>>41926
Kinda yeah.
As for his politics, it's come up a few times. Generally, we were in agreement about most stuff. Moreso than anyone else in the gang really, which is part of why it's so nuts that of everyone its me he's freaking out about most.
I'm not even going to pretend I understand it.

>>41941
I'm trying really hard to see it like that - I guess it'll probably come with time.
I've lost friendships over the years, but this is the first time I've had a friend outright start hating me and vow to never speak to me again since I was like 16.

Anonymous 41946

>>41945
Do you recall what you said specifically that ended up setting him off?

Anonymous 41947

>>41884
>The problem is that such a clinical reading is not how we actually express and experience love, even if theoretically it could be the underlying reason for it. It's theorized that sugar tastes good because we have evolved to seek out energy sources and sugar is one of the most efficient means of conveying it to our bodies, but when we taste something with sugar, we don't think "I am tasting something that is efficiently conveying energy to my body;" we think "this tastes sweet."
The "tasting sweet" part is the qualia of your body rewarding you for consuming sugar. If your argument is that there is a qualia to friendship, my stance doesn't contradict this in the slightest. As you've stated, why you're brain is rewarding you for eating sugar can be explained, the qualia of the experience is a seperate object. But much like trying to explain to someone who has never tasted salt what salt tastes like, you'll quickly find that qualia's aren't useful explanations for anything. "Friendship feels good", yes it does feel good, but why does it feel good?
>The actual experience is not a logical balancing of pros and cons - it's an emotional, sensual reaction, and that reaction is the lens that we perceive our relationship with. To focus on the transactional is like performing a vivisection on a sparrow to see how it sings - it's not that you won't learn something, but you certainly won't hear it sing anymore.
The actual experience would be explained by the vivisection, the qualia of the experience can never be explained, but that's what makes a qualia a qualia.
>Because business deals end when there's no longer a reasonable expectation of profit, but love continues even when the other can't provide for us anymore. We continue to love the person who becomes crippled, or the person who's life has gone deeply astray, or the person who has Alzheimer's, or the person who has died. We don't make calculations - we just do.
The person who is crippled can still be a source of comfort and validation, there's nothing intrinsic about being crippled that doesn't allow them to do that anymore. It is quite telling though, that you frame that as something a friendship could be lost over. I don't know what you mean by someone whose gone deeply astray. Are we talking serial killer? Then I have several questions. A person who has Alzeimer's is usually near the end of their lifespan, and the decline is gradual. It's not one day they remember everything the next they're forgetting what a bathroom is. Gains of comfort will steadily be lost but still possible to obtain at times. Furthermore, at that point you're so entrenched in your own chemical rewards for helping this person that makes you feel good that you start feeling good just for helping them at that point. Thus, even if the rewards from the other individual are diminishing, you're still rewarding yourself mentally just for helping them. I don't know about you but I'm not friend's with dead people, I was friends with dead people, it's kind of hard to keep being when they no longer are.
>We don't make calculations - we just do.
Of course you don't calculate these things, just like you don't consciously calculate the complex calculus that to goes into taking a single step when you're walking. Your subconscious and unconscious does it for you.

>>41906
>In what world do you live that emotions can be explained so easily as "I care about this person because they make me feel good"?
This one, the entire field of psychology relies on the assumption that there are possible explanations for behavior as opposed to complete chaos in the human mind. If you assume that emotions can't be explained I sincerely hope you never need mental help as, using your framework, it simply doesn't exist.
>But your idea of how attachment works is absolutely ridiculous, people get attached to others who offer them no validation or comfort, people can develop absolutely no attachment towards others who shower them in validation and comfort.
Please name specific cases for either of these. I'm pretty sure you're confusing the dichotomy between a healthy/unhealthy relationship and the question of whether or not the relationship even exists and why it does.
>Stop with this larpy shit.
How does one LARP on a website, furthermore, what am I even LARPing as? Unless you're just throwing words around you don't even understand.

Anonymous 41948

>>41933
>why would i want a lazy guy who will never even put 2 seconds of effort into the relationship?
If he made a profile I'm pretty sure he put at least 2 seconds of effort into the relationship.

Anonymous 41949

>>41933
>so here it is, the greatest tool ever given to womankind: if a guy can't even message first, he doesn't deserve to get a date with you. he doesn't even deserve to look at a photo of you on his phone screen.
Doesn't this attitude encourage catcalling behavior and false assumptions on the moids part that woman "like the chase"?

Anonymous 41950

>>41946
No clue - the only political discussion we've had lately was followed by nearly 5 hours of hanging out like normal.
Then the next day, he ghosted me with no explanation.
I genuinely have no idea.

Anonymous 41954

1530414523845.png

>>41951
How does therapy even work? Do they just tell you things aren't your fault or something.

Anonymous 41957

>>41954
No. They tell you coping methods and/or strategies and then they check in on you weekly to keep you accountable and see if you used them. You let them know what's going on in your life and how it affects you mentally and how you're coping with it. They might suggest you ask your psychiatrist for certain medications or that you go to an in/outpatient program. It depends on the kind of therapy utilized as well.

they may validate feelings, but they are not supposed to say anything is not your fault, unless you're one of those people that claims everything is your fault and they are logically showing you how not everything is your fault.

Anonymous 41960

i hate that im so broken. i hate that life hasn't gotten any better, i hate that my past is so fucked and that I still live with the scars of everything that happened, I hate that the world does not care and can't help. I hate that despite my position being so bad, it's still vastly better than some of the people i've seen and heard about (I hate that there are so many people in suffering).
My basic needs are being met (thank God) but fuck life could be so much better. I hate feeling guilty for thinking that. I hate, I hate, I hate

Anonymous 41962

I dislike this dude so much as a person. I can't get over the shit he did to me when we were dating, it honestly scarred me. Listening to his coombrained drivel makes my blood boil and grey matter melt. Yet I always end up coming back to talk to him on discord because I have literally no one else to talk to or share things with and he still seems desperate for my attention. This is fucking toxic but still somehow preferable to complete loneliness.

Anonymous 41963

>>41951
Because they want to wash their hands off of having to deal with the person in question themselves. I could understand if it's a serious mental illness though.

There's good therapists that do what >>41957 said but I went to one and they wanted to put me on antidepressants, I stopped going to them, seriously fuck that.

Anonymous 41964

>>41960
>I hate feeling guilty for thinking that. I hate, I hate, I hate

I know that feeling all too well, I hope things keep getting better for you, once you get in a good stable environment you'll be able to work all of that out, hang in there

Anonymous 41965

>>41960
shut the fuck up

Anonymous 41966

>>41962
Lol poor stockholm'd damsel

Anonymous 41967

catcrazy.gif


Anonymous 41968

>>41928
Interests is some of it. I haven't really known anyone who's exactly into the same stuff that I am since high school. But even back then, while discussing such things with them was entertaining enough while I was stuck in a classroom or otherwise, I never enjoyed it enough that I'd do something like stay late to talk to someone rather than leaving immediately and going home as soon as I was able.
I don't really know how to articulate personality. I've always found that I have difficulty in describing people aside from what they look like and what things they do. There are people I dislike interacting with because of how they act, but it's pretty binary.
I've never had any interest in the personal lives of others. In fact, it often confuses me and catches me off-guard when people I meet ask details of me like where I grew up and where I went to school. I often have to remind myself that such questions are normal.

Overall, It's not like literally everyone bores me. I've had people throughout the years that I enjoyed interacting with. But I've never enjoyed it enough that I'd go out of my way to do it. I'm 25 and I can't remember the last time I even had intentional physical contact with someone outside my family, let alone ever dated anyone. But rather than being due to failure, it's that I never even tried to pursue anyone. No one I've met so far has ever felt worth pursuing.
I'd assume I were aromantic or asexual or something, but I still want that kind of intimate relationship, in a general sense. I don't want to be around people, but I want to want to, so to speak.
I might have some sort of personality disorder.

Anonymous 41969

>>41947
>the qualia of the experience is a seperate object
This is precisely my point. You are conflating the etiology of the object with the object itself, and thus implicitly discounting the object's reality. The reason we have rewards for sugar is immaterial to the fact that that qualia of sweetness is a real, meaningful object in itself that we base our thoughts and actions around: we add more sugar to our recipe not to increase the potential energy we can gain from it, but because we want it to be sweeter. No, the sweetness qualia can't be explained to someone incapable of taste, but that qualia is exactly what must be understood in order to have a meaningful conversation about if something is sweet, and talking about anything but the qualia itself has no bearing on that conversation.

The sort of loving friendship I'm talking about requires, well, love (or at least care). "Love" and "care" are entirely emotional, sensual things: qualia. The cost/benefit analysis you're talking about is a possible objective etiology for the qualia, but it's the qualia itself that is solely relevant when talking about the existence of friendship in just the same way that it's the qualia of sweetness that's solely relevant when talking about the taste of something.

The etiology is useful if we're only viewing humans as objects with relatively predictable actions, but we're not just objects. We're subjects with inner worlds that are as equally real to us as the outer world, and any explanation that doesn't give equal weight to that inner world will be incomplete.

Anonymous 41970

>>41951
It's not that therapy's an amazing cure, it's that therapy is a place explicitly designed to help you see your habits of thought with outside eyes trained to recognize how those habits are contributing to your unhappiness or stopping you from living the life you want to and, like >>41957 said, give you means to help break those bad habits and build better ones. If you're not interested in looking at those habits or changing anything, then therapy won't help.

That said, because there are different approaches to therapy and it only works as well as you can feel like you can trust and be understood by your therapist, it's easy to have a bad experience with it by going to someone who doesn't have the approach that fits you or doesn't feel like someone you can trust or understands you. But there's more than just bad therapy out there.

Anonymous 41971

>>41968
>I don't really know how to articulate personality. I've always found that I have difficulty in describing people aside from what they look like and what things they do.
This puts a lot into perspective. It seems like you have trouble seeing people in themselves - you can recognize their surrounding objective traits and you can talk to them about objective things like shared interests, but there's some sort of block keeping you from reaching the person behind those traits and interests. People ask about where you grow up or went to school in part because those questions can give a slightly closer understanding of who you are. It seems like you have trouble recognizing the minds of others or the importance people put on trying to see into those minds. You might have actual, non-meme autism.

It makes sense that you'd want to have those relationships because you've probably seen that people give a lot of weight to them: every culture across history sees deep value in friendship and that our lives are richer and more worth living for having them. You probably have seen those ideas and thought "people seem real happy with friends; I'd like to be happy too."

Anonymous 41972

>>41969
>This is precisely my point.
Then I agree, the qualia, which has nothing to do with why the relationship exists, is different from the reason the relationship exists.

Anonymous 41973

>>41968
>I don't really know how to articulate personality. I've always found that I have difficulty in describing people aside from what they look like and what things they do. There are people I dislike interacting with because of how they act, but it's pretty binary.
This sounds like unironic autism m8

That depends though, are you fine in your current state, or do you want to have friends?

Anonymous 41974

>>41954
I've always viewed a therapist as a paid professional friend who isn't allowed to leave while I'm bitching and venting about my inner mental models. It only really helps me in times of severe crisis though, and it's still limited by the fact that it's possible that anything I say will leak out of the room (even if that's contractually forbidden) so I can't go full power level about moid hate.

Anonymous 41975

>>41933
Why would any man want to date you when you have all these exact same flaws? You just expect someone to message you instead.

Anonymous 41976

1480908565467.png

>>41971
>>41973
I've suspected Schizoid Personality Disorder, personally. I know autism is a spectrum and all that, but I don't think I exhibit any of the other classic symptoms and it's never been suggested by my teachers or anyone else I've spoken to in person. Maybe that just has to do with the skill with which I've crafted my mask, though.

>are you fine in your current state, or do you want to have friends?

I'm completely content something like 95% of the time. I don't even really desire "friends," per se.
I think I'd very much like a romantic relationship, though. Just one person to share things with, and around whom I could be completely unguarded without having to worry about how they may react to anything I say or do.
Occasionally when I let myself think about it too much I get a very deep pit-like feeling in my chest.
Most of the time I just don't think about it.

Anonymous 41977

>>41974
>it's possible that anything I say will leak out of the room (even if that's contractually forbidden)
If you live in the US, it's not just contractually forbidden, it's legally forbidden because of HIPPA. It's also not in the doctor's interest to let anything leak because that would undermine the trust you need to have with them in order for the treatment to work. What makes you think something would slip out?

Anonymous 41979

>>41976
>I'm completely content something like 95% of the time. I don't even really desire "friends," per se.
Then that's more schizoid (which, you can have autism disorders and be schizoid too), and than social anxiety.

>I think I'd very much like a romantic relationship, though. Just one person to share things with, and around whom I could be completely unguarded without having to worry about how they may react to anything I say or do.

This is how I function with my husband, with little interest in other's other than coworkers to help get things done. I don't want friends as much as I want people I can reliably trust to be productive in certain endeavors.

>>41977
>What makes you think something would slip out?
I don't have to believe something will leak, it's the existent possibility of flawed humans and flawed computer security systems that mean there is always, no matter how small, a risk of something socially damaging being released. It's the possibility that innately exists that is bothersome.

Anonymous 41980

>>41979
I guess anything's possible, but who or where would that information go to? Are you a public figure that could have that info reported on, or someone who's being closely watched by a hostile party trying to undermine you socially?

Anonymous 41981

>>41980
Unknown and neither.

Anonymous 41982

>>41981
Then it seems strange to be worried about it if the likelihood of that information getting out is small and there's no reason anyone would want that info in the first place. Not to mention that just about anything you talk about in therapy could be damaging if publicly released, so moid hate wouldn't be uniquely bad.

Anonymous 41983

>>41547
>Do you think there's a reason you feel so numb?
Thinking about the future scares me. I surprise myself every day that I don't decide to kill myself.

Anonymous 41984

>>41982
Personal flaws versus views on others are two fundamentally different problems. One is perceived as just you being inferior, the other presupposes a sense of superiority.

Anonymous 41987

b65c955e-c945-4f9c…

>>41962
Drop me your discord anon, you can vent to me all you like.

Anonymous 41988

Ive accused someone of tracing their art when they didnt. When they provide evidence that they in fact had drawn their artwork, ive felt an incredible guilt inside of me. Ive appologize publicly but still the guilt was too strong…

Anonymous 41990

1589842303007.jpg

>>41988
That just means you're not a shitty person anon, apologising publicly is all you can really do to lessen this feeling which you've done already.

Anonymous 41991

>>41988
Why did you think they traced their art, furthermore, how did they post evidence that they didn't trace art?

Anonymous 41992

>>41991
Originally the reason why I thought they traced their art because I remembered that there was a very sharp contrast between their work quality. While their line-art and overall style are subpar but it felt like coloring was very amateurish and probably was made by someone who was very new and don't know anything about digital art. Usually, when you are practicing digital art, most of the skills you learn tend to be equally developed or at least in most cases it is. Its almost like they traced it from someone else and colored it in, but its just my gut feeling. I failed to provide evidence and cause an unwanted misunderstanding. The of artist provide a rough sketch of their art, I felt like shit because its really theirs. I did apologize, but I felt like it wasn't enough.

Anonymous 41994

>>41992
You've already done enough, assuming the apology was public. Just learn from it and move on.

Anonymous 41995

nana.jpg

I recently finished Nana, I have no idea how i'm gonna fill the void for who knows how many years it'll take for the next chapter. I've never been this emotionally invested in characters like this before, I want to read Parakiss next but I know it won't be the same.

Anonymous 41996

>>41992
Your reasoning is pretty flawed. Just because an artist posted something they made that was more high quality than their other works doesn't mean they traced. I thought you had actually found a picture that they used for reference.

Anonymous 41998

>>41984
Both can be used as ammo against you socially.

Anonymous 42015

Enrico_pucci's_dea…

>>41960
>i hate that im so broken. i hate that life hasn't gotten any better, i hate that my past is so fucked and that I still live with the scars of everything that happened, I hate that the world does not care and can't help. I hate that despite my position being so bad, it's still vastly better than some of the people i've seen and heard about (I hate that there are so many people in suffering).
>My basic needs are being met (thank God) but fuck life could be so much better. I hate feeling guilty for thinking that. I hate, I hate, I hate
>>41965
>shut the fuck up

Anonymous 42024

>have "no hookups" on tinder profile because tired of horny trash messaging me trying to get me to suck their penis, I'm legitimately there to get a bf not to fuck half the city
>moid messages me: "no hookups? but it would be so fun!"
>replied: "go rent a prostitute then, pervert" and unmatched

pressuring a girl who said she doesn't want to have meaningless sex with you by saying she'll enjoy it is what a rapist would do. why do moids think this is okay?

Anonymous 42026

>>42024
>tinder

lol come on now, use eharmony I read they require you to fill in the list of compatibility questions so a lot of moids get filtered.

Anonymous 42027

>>42026
there's a lot of stigma that tinder is where the normal people are, and e-harmony and plenty of fish are for… not to be offensive but the social conception does matter because it determines who will be on which app. i found my last longterm on tinder so it isn't like it's a bad place. the "no hookups" line works 90% of the time to filter out trash.

every time i post about tinder people come out of the woodworks to bash it. it has the largest number of users, so it has a lot of trash as well. comes with the territory. i use hinge and bumble too but i've never had a date from either.

Anonymous 42030

>>42026
I think she didn't say "husband", anon.

Anonymous 42031

>>41998
Yes, but it's how they're used as ammo. Personal flaws can be overcome or mitigated and this can be seen as a positive experience by others universally. Meanwhile, purported views of superiority won't be forgiven by anyone you diametrically set yourself up against without grovelling for forgiveness and instead purporting some other group as being superior.

Anonymous 42032

>>42024
Because of woman like this >>41892

Anonymous 42033

>>42027

It's true it helps with the numbers game, if you can make it work then I hope you get another longterm soon, and less horny moids in the meantime lol

Anonymous 42034

>>41983
Don't worry about the future, anon. No matter what happens, you're alive right now. Enjoy yourself.

Anonymous 42035

>>42032
lol but both of those posts are me

Anonymous 42038

>>42035
There you go.

Anonymous 42041

bitch.png

>>42038
anyone ever tell you you're kind of a

Anonymous 42046

>>41962
Find someone else to talk to. Literally anyone else would be better. And if they pull the same shit, go find another person. Keep doing it until you've met a few relatively normal people that you enjoy talking to.

Anonymous 42052

>>41979
How did you meet your husband? How did you know that he was that kind of person, who you could be comfortable with and work together in that way?
Did you know that you liked him in some capacity immediately in your first interaction, or was it a standard lukewarm feeling like anybody else and you grew to like him more over time?

Anonymous 42055

>>41996
I think what she meant is that the individual works had decent lineart but much worse coloring, giving the impression that a subpar artist had accomplished the lineart via tracing and then failed at trying to do the coloring on their own.

Anonymous 42056

>>42031
The very existence of a personal flaw that's not relatable can be enough for people to look down on you. A lot of people have a fundamental distaste for perceived weakness - "I'd never go to therapy/see a shrink, that's for crazy people," "She had a mental health episode? What's wrong with her?" etc. It can be alienating, especially for normies, to see someone explicitly acknowledge their mental health at all outside of really vague conceptions of "I've been depressed" or "I have anxiety."

Anonymous 42058

>>42024
"No hookups" often means "I do hook up but I have standards"

Anonymous 42059

Fate Grand Order P…

>>42055
That doesn't tell you that the person was tracing though. There shouldn't be any accusation of tracing unless you can find a source image that overlaps with the design.

Anonymous 42060

>>42041
Yes, other bitches.

Anonymous 42061

>>42056
>The very existence of a personal flaw that's not relatable can be enough for people to look down on you.
Did I ever imply otherwise? Of course they'll look down at you, then if you ever become "normal" it stops. The same doe snot happen with presupposing your own superiority, other people will perceive you as a threat, which gets treated fundamentally different than a non-person.

Anonymous 42062

YOUWONTGETAWAYANYL…

>college
>college funds
>college classes

college is starting in a few weeks

Anonymous 42069

>>42061
I'm not so sure it's possible to come back to being seen as "normal" from that.

Anonymous 42071

>>42069
I certainly do.

Anonymous 42072

>>42069
You would be surprised how much shit people are willing to put up with to go back to the "normal". If they need something from you even if it's social validation they'll look past anything and I mean anything.

Anonymous 42076

Im tired of feeling guilty and simple. I recently broke up with my SO to be more independent but now one of my friends is asking on a date and I want to go! I haven't been single for more then a month the past 7 years due to three long term relationships. Ive always been the one to break it off and It makes me feel basic. like im some cookie cutter shape that everyone is ok with and im always the unhappy one. I want to be alone but im also needy and afraid of being by myself after so long. I'm tired of feeling guilty for not being happy but it won't stop.

Anonymous 42077

50993d3d-eb38-4ab8…

>>42076
Did you cheat on any of them?

Anonymous 42078

>>42062
where the hell do you live? the states?
how long is your fall semester??

Anonymous 42079

>>42015
what does this post mean. am i not allowed to vent in the designated venting thread

Anonymous 42080

>>42079
I think it means just because you post in the vent thread doesn't mean people won't insult you if your problems are, according to you, stupid and wrong.

Anonymous 42081

>>42079
this is still an anonymous image board, don't worry too much, you'll always get people like that

Anonymous 42083

>>42080
i don't get what this means either

>>42081
not worried, just confused. why did she post jojo

Anonymous 42084

>>42083
>i don't get what this means either
I didn't expect you to.

Anonymous 42085

6a84e01eb8d4bba81f…

>>42083
No idea. For the random lolz maybe.

Anonymous 42086

I chuckle to myself each time I'm called a schizophrenic by someone.. that's the only diagnosis I wasn't given, I did hear the generic voices like thinking someone was calling me but that's just the normal quirk

Anonymous 42088

>>42079
The altercation reminded me of something. That's all. Sorry about that.

Anonymous 42093

My mom isn’t even old but she doesn’t know my exact age and birthday, cause she didn’t write my correct date of birth on the paper back then. I don’t celebrate my birthday but it sucks that I don’t know when i was born

Anonymous 42094

>>42093
That really sucks. Is there really no other record kept of it?

Anonymous 42095

>>42093
Might be on hospital records somewhere

Anonymous 42096

>>42078
like 6 months, I have been thinking of changing majors but I keeps thinking about the amount of money wasted on previous semesters and how I am going to explain this to my parents

Anonymous 42097

durd.jpg

My mind has just felt so sluggish for at least a month now, probably longer. I can't hold my focus on anything, and waste so much time staring at nothing or flicking through the same few screens that I know have nothing new on them. When I'm listening to podcasts, it's as if I miss every second or third word, and I have to keep rewinding the same parts over and over just to make sure I got it all. Trying to think and speak effectively and elegantly is harder than I remember. The right words don't come as easily; my sentences get jumbled and my trains of thought clumsily turn and get lost. There are things I know I need to be doing, but I end up doing nothing at all instead, not even things I enjoy. I just sit, idle, occasionally alternating between bouts of heavy anxiety or deep depression. Is this that brain fog I hear so much about?

Anonymous 42100

>>42095
>>42094
I was born at home haha

Anonymous 42107

44081520_730707887…

So sick and tired of men constantly talking about porn, sex and naked women. They somehow always manage to turn a conversation into sex talk and I just cannot stand it anymore. I get that there's hormones and stuff but do men just have no self-restraint? God forbid you wanna talk about [popular media] without discussing which female character has the best tits or would be the best in bed. And if the media has no smoking hot women, they will complain about how it is impossible to enjoy it without their dicks being up the entire time.

Anonymous 42108

I posted it before but I feel deeply relieved that my harasser is in jail. I don't need to go through life with a obsessive stalker posting me every day

Anonymous 42113

>>42110
yes, that and they're all obese outside of hollywood.

Anonymous 42115

>>42110
I'm from south america and I can confirm it's the same here.

>>42107
There's men that are interested in talking about their hobbies and such but they're pushed out by those meat heads so they don't hang around the same spots. Usually it's smaller established communities that aren't stuck in an eternal september where new arrivals dick wave to prove how manly they are lol

Anonymous 42119

>>42097
Eat more/better and take Vitamin D supplements if you're not going outside as much because of lockdown.
>>42107
Stop hanging around in horny teenage male dominated communities and this will stop. That basically means any video game related Discord for a start.

Anonymous 42120

>>42107
No men I've talked to IRL even casually talk like this. Who are you hanging out with?

Anonymous 42123

I hope you all have a great day today! <3
Be kind to yourself, stay hydrated, and rest if you need to.

Anonymous 42129

>>42120
My relatives, my male (semi)friends, my ex-classmates, and literally every place on the internet that is not cc or lolcow.

>>42119
I don't though, I barely play video games let alone join game communities.

>>42110

European unfortunately

>>42115
The only men I have met that were not only thinking about pussy were either gay or hardcore christians, and I do not particularly wanna spend too much time hanging around ppl who think that abortions should be outlawed

>>42125

ew, a man

Anonymous 42132

>>42119
Thanks for the advice. I've been going out about as much as I normally have been because I'm the one who shops for the family, and I also pick up food and occasionally see a friend, so I don't think I'm getting notably less vitamin D. When the year started I was eating a lot healthier and working out and I ended up losing like 20-something pounds; once COVID took hold, all of that kinda ground to a halt. I'm not eating as healthily as I was, but I'm not drastically gaining weight back. I really should at least get back into my diet.

Thanks again!

Anonymous 42133

anyone experienced men negging them? I have really low self esteem/ugly duckling syndrome, and for some reason, people think i'm a lot more confident than i actually am and men are constantly putting me down while complimenting me at the same time to lower my standards and make me seek more validation maybe because they know i'm insecure, and i hate it because it works on me

example: i'm 20 but someone told me one time that i looked like i was about 40 but it wasnt an insult because i look like a "sexy milf" (lol)

Anonymous 42137

>>42129
I think you should occupy yourself with something. Perhaps, videogames?
>>42133
Just insult them back if you can't take it. Be very underhanded and not overly angry when you do it. Then they'll understand.

Anonymous 42140

>>42133
any man that negs belongs in the trash

Anonymous 42141

>>42132
Vitamin D isn't it then but eating healthily otherwise will definitely help. And then boring and obvious as it is sleep regularly and sleep for long enough. If you often function sleep deprived you stop noticing that's what causes it but it does affect you.

Anonymous 42144

>>42141
I've been having tons of trouble sleeping lately, yeah. It's kinda chicken and egg, I guess - I get so deeply depressed or anxious when I can't sleep, but my racing mind keeps me from falling asleep. I have melatonin, but I'm not sure if it makes much of a difference. I got a new med from my shrink to take on an "as needed" basis to help with anxiety and also tire me out a bit, but I haven't tried to use it yet.

Anonymous 42145

>>42144
*I get so deeply depressed or anxious when I don't get enough sleep, but my racing mind keeps me from falling asleep.

Anonymous 42148

Ever since I been harassed, a new case of harassment I wasn't used to, I have developed a casual abuse fixation. Like being exploited and kept as someone to harass and take photos of. I feel like every single day I live it just gets worse mentally

Anonymous 42158

>>42137
Video games bore me. I really tried to get into them but if I am playing by myself I just get tired of it within 15 minutes. Only game I can play solo is league and even then I have some serious issues with it because of the obvious sexism with the character design (men look normal but women are just porn characters). I swear men ruin everything

Anonymous 42159

1589906295481.png

>>42158
Maybe try a simulation game like animal crossing, harvest moon or stardew valley. They're usually aimed at women and rarely have these issues.

Anonymous 42160

>>42159
I tried playing stardew valley and I did enjoy it for a while but then the game kept forcing me to go to the mine for better sprinklers and I really did not wanna go to that boring dungeon :/

Anonymous 42161

20200714_212202.jp…

>>42160
Harvest moon lets you do things more freely and have more of a focus on crops and animal rearing so I'd recommend those games if you like note freedom.

Anonymous 42163

>>42161
id play new horizons but i dont have a switch. picrel looks cool tho, can i play it on pc? which game is the best

Anonymous 42166

20200718_145457.jp…

>>42163
I'd recommend you try the new story of seasons mineral town remake, it's available on pc too. It's a very fun game with a surprising amount of depth to it. And lots of cute boys too.

Anonymous 42176

Another woman was asking for help to get into programming and I was looking forward to using my years of experience to help guide them but when I showed them the things I already did to prove I could help them, it made them feel inadequate and that I was showing off. Then I warned them the tools they were using were mired with over a decade of bad programming practice and told them about better ones so they can actually have a good time learning and with a much broader skillset to find a job and
they said they were feeling discouraged and blocked me.

They should have been more honest and said they wanted their ego stroked, I never said what they were doing is bad, I offered alternatives and showed them what they could do with them but nah, feel goods are better than actual industry experience.

Anonymous 42178

>>42176
>Another woman was asking for help to get into programming and I was looking forward to using my years of experience to help guide them but when I showed them the things I already did to prove I could help them, it made them feel inadequate and that I was showing off.
Did she ask for you to "prove" you could help her? If not that sounds pretty show offy.
>Then I warned them the tools they were using were mired with over a decade of bad programming practice and told them about better ones so they can actually have a good time learning and with a much broader skillset to find a job and
they said they were feeling discouraged and blocked me.
Did she ask for your help in identifying better tools or did she ask for help to learn to program better?

Anonymous 42179

>>42178
>Did she ask for you to "prove" you could help her? If not that sounds pretty show offy.
>Did she ask for your help in identifying better tools or did she ask for help to learn to program better?

I have to show them otherwise I'm a random person on the internet making shit up and she specifically wanted a tutor, you would think they'd be ecstatic they might be able to do the kinds of things I was doing.

>Did she ask for your help in identifying better tools


That's the thing, I already tried the tools they were using and they were painful to use and the kinds of jobs you get with them are as painful. She literally was already complaining about them in the ways I warned her too.

Learning isn't a feel good paradise, you have to look within yourself and realize you're doing things wrong all the time and find the best and easiest ways to do things instead of stagnating or being trapped in bad practices.

Anonymous 42180

Rakan.0[1].png

>>42158
>men look normal

Anonymous 42181

PoolPartyGraves.pn…

>>42180
>she doesn't live in a place where 90% of guys look like this

Anonymous 42192

>>42144
I think you should try it, to see if it works.

Anonymous 42193

>>42179
>I have to show them otherwise I'm a random person on the internet making shit up
She was already asking random people on the internet for help.
>Learning isn't a feel good paradise
I never stated otherwise. However, that doesn't mean teaching others the answers to questions they didn't ask.

Anonymous 42194

>>42179
If she was asking you for help, she probably already trusted your expertise and didn't need a demonstration. I had been doing a bunch of tutoring over the last year or so, and I came to find that a big part of teaching isn't necessarily about the subject itself, but building confidence in the student to trust themselves that they can learn and do it. If they think they're at a lower level than they should be, seeing someone do loop-de-loops doesn't get them excited that they could do them too; it just makes them think "here's all the shit you don't know how to do, dumbass."

Anonymous 42196

>>42194
She was asking generally not to me in particular, I reached out to her so she couldn't have known unless I told her. It's very easy for her to be led randomly by some dev that barely scrapes by on their low end job or someone that didn't even pass college yet.

>it just makes them think "here's all the shit you don't know how to do, dumbass."


Yeah well those kinds of people aren't going to make it, she wanted to do the equivalent of doing an mmo in game maker studio and instead of telling her to stop wasting her time I said I would teach her how to use the actual tools for that kind of project but she ghosted me instead of realizing she was well over her head.

If they're going to ghost a dev with 6 years of experience in the field with several completed projects offering to do it for free just because they didn't like how they talked about the tools they just picked up and think they know better then I can't say I care if she's about to waste 2 years of her life learning a clusterfuck of a framework with bad job prospects.

Anonymous 42197

>>42196
> It's very easy for her to be led randomly by some dev that barely scrapes by on their low end job or someone that didn't even pass college yet.
That's her problem, not yours. If she wanted you to prove yourself she would have stated.
>If they're going to ghost a dev with 6 years of experience in the field with several completed projects offering to do it for free
Is this how you presented yourself?

Anonymous 42198

>>42196
>It's very easy for her to be led randomly by some dev that barely scrapes by on their low end job or someone that didn't even pass college yet.
Did you tell her this and then ask her how she would like you to prove yourself?

Anonymous 42200

>>42197
>Is this how you presented yourself?
No I was very nice about everything, I'm in a vent thread so the fucks given are off.

>If she wanted you to prove yourself she would have stated.


I don't know why you are trying to pin this on me, she specifically wanted someone to help her succeed in the profession, it wasn't a random programming question. This reads like

>it's not enough that she must have a career professional help her out, she must also have her ego protected at all costs, even the slightest disagreement to what she's doing might cause her to lose interest so you better not say anything at all just in case


This kind of safe space treatment doesn't prepare you for anything considering she was using the wrong tools in the first place.

>you can't use a fork for cutting it would take too long and it would be painful plus it doesn't prepare you for a cutting job

>did you just tell her not to use a fork, that's inconsiderate to her needs

seriously lol, I wanted her to succeed not baby her

>>42198
>Did you tell her this

Yes I told her she has to be careful and why, she didn't like hearing she was being lulled into a false sense of security by people trying to sell their "one click" solutions that don't actually work.

>and then ask her how she would like you to prove yourself?


I've not only never seen anyone do this but I can't even envision anyone doing it in this situation. Just think about it.

>I want help being a fullstack dev

>I'll help you out, how would you like me to prove how I can help you.

or

>I want help being a fullstack dev

>I'll help you out, I have a lot of experience you can see here in this video of one of my projects

Anonymous 42202

>>42200
>I don't know why you are trying to pin this on me
>it's not enough that she must have a career professional help her out, she must also have her ego protected at all costs, even the slightest disagreement to what she's doing might cause her to lose interest so you better not say anything at all just in case
The point is just that you're coming off as condescending. It's not "protecting her ego at all costs," it's just accepting that she trusts you and having her take the lead on what she wants. As in:
>I want help being a fullstack dev
>I'll help you out. What's up?
Her not wanting to use the tools that would be more beneficial to her is weird, I agree. But she was probably just disheartened to see someone come over, style all over her, and then having that person tell you "you're doing everything wrong." Maybe you're right and she really isn't cut out for programming, but maybe she's just sensitive. Sensitivity doesn't inherently stop someone from eventually being a good programmer. Why assume the worst?

Anonymous 42203

>>42202
Yeah I get it didn't come across too well to her but I tried to make amends and apologized then and the day after but she didn't even acknowledge it and unfriended, like fuck me for trying.

>The point is just that you're coming off as condescending


I'm being condescending now cause I'm venting, I'm a very helpful person and I go well out of my way to help my friends, yesterday I helped one with her drawing proportions and today I helped another with some 3d modelling.

>then having that person tell you "you're doing everything wrong."


Now I'm not THAT insensitive, I thought what she was working on was cool and let her know, gave her a thumbs up and everything.

She was just too personally invested in her setup when it would have taken her a day or two to switch over to something else, specially since I would have personally helped her through it.

What's funny is she even saw what I was talking about, I said "You shouldn't use that because the devs are just people trying to push their plugins for you to use and they hardly work" and the next day she was like "I keep googling for answers to some questions but I only get plugin suggestions" and somehow she trusted that more than me lol

>Sensitivity doesn't inherently stop someone from eventually being a good programmer. Why assume the worst?


Because I'm upset she'd give up on me without even doing an attempt, I'm allowed to be bitter okay

Anonymous 42205

>>42200
>No I was very nice about everything, I'm in a vent thread so the fucks given are off.
Not the style, the content. Did you state "I have 6 years of experience so I know what I'm talking about."
>I don't know why you are trying to pin this on me, she specifically wanted someone to help her succeed in the profession, it wasn't a random programming question. This reads like
Yes she wanted help, but was stupid enough to ask random people online for help. if she can't even screen for people to help her properly than why did you think she was even smart enough to be worth dumping credentials on?
>>
>it's not enough that she must have a career professional help her out, she must also have her ego protected at all costs, even the slightest disagreement to what she's doing might cause her to lose interest so you better not say anything at all just in case
I have not said this whatsoever and it sounds like you're projecting your internal monologue on me. All I have said was, if she cared about your credentials, she would have asked, if she didn't ask, she didn't care. Does not caring about that make her stupid? Probably, is it on you to make her not stupid? Obviously you failed.
>seriously lol, I wanted her to succeed not baby her
I have at no point said to baby her, I've only said you should not give answers to unasked questions if you want to be a good teacher. If you just "want her to succeed" then you should let her define what success is, not your projection onto her what it should be.
>Yes I told her she has to be careful and why, she didn't like hearing she was being lulled into a false sense of security by people trying to sell their "one click" solutions that don't actually work.
Then it sounds like an idiot, why did you even waste time on her?
>I've not only never seen anyone do this but I can't even envision anyone doing it in this situation. Just think about it.
Thought about it, if people don't challenge those they learn from they lack the mental fortitude to do anything. Trying to teach stupid not to be stupid is pointless.

Anonymous 42206

>>42205
>Did you state "I have 6 years of experience so I know what I'm talking about."

No I just showed how one of my projects I finished looked like because I didn't want to make it about me, you're right though, I tried too hard for someone that didn't even care to google what the right tools for what she was going for were, and yeah my approach could have been better.

Anonymous 42208

>>42206
Exactly, throw her some token advice, answer questions that she asks and if she fails, fuck her, that's her problem and now she'll learn or won't. Either way it's not your problem.

Anonymous 42212

>>42176
i've never felt discouraged but i have been overwhelmed easily. there is just so much info out there you don't know where to start. i'm applying for ada developers academy in 2 weeks and need to prep and go through their guide. really afraid of being turned down. i'm having mental interviews and going through potential questions already. but i'm so depressed from past failures when applying to literally anything that i'm already certain i wont get in. makes it hard to study.

i dont really need advice since their prereq guide is only babby tier stuff, just ventposting because i'm anxious and fog-brained and lazy. if they turn me down i'll seriously consider jumping off a building.

Anonymous 42214

>>42212
I doubt they wouldn't let you in, they read like the kind of place that's dying for woke points.

>Adies are not only trained to be strong developers but also strong advocates. Students participate in a series of workshops focused on justice, bias intervention, and inclusive community. We enlist the help of organizations like Transform WA and Diverse City LLC to bring a mix of voices and facilitation styles to our social justice series. A favorite series of our students, topics of our workshops include understanding and respecting gender diversity, microaggressions, and racial equity. Ada students graduate from our program as stronger advocates for themselves and others than when they began the program.


Yeah just walk in with a BLM beanie or shirt and you're golden.

Anonymous 42215

>>42214
they do go heavy on the wokeshit. i'm a trump supporter but i'll swallow that down and walk the walk if it means getting in because they're a highly sought after program. but i heard competition is fierce, and there are posts on reddit from people who didn't make the cut. i'm also white so i don't get diversity points.

part of their coursework is mandatory sjw education… but grads get jobs in good companies. this is like the harvard of bootcamps. it's also the only one i can afford. i just don't want to be disappointed and turned down from something i really wanted yet again because i can't take it much more.

Anonymous 42218

>>42215
Hey if you don't get in it's not the end of the world, you can learn all this shit on your own like I did and if you have the will to do this

>i'm a trump supporter but i'll swallow that down and walk the walk


you'll manage, I believe in you

Anonymous 42220

>>42218
learning isn't the problem, the problem is convincing HR that I know my stuff and can do the job. It's also that I'm working fulltime in a soul-sucking job. I just want to take one year and focus on nothing but programming.

part of my frustration is i've been turned down from so many jobs because i couldn't convince HR that i'm qualified, or they required this and that experience that I didn't have. so that's why i really want a study program with good job placement assistance. I know I can learn it. It's not hard, i've already studied some, I taught myself japanese and if I can memorize over 1500 kanji I can do anything. But it's getting over the hiring barrier, and to do that I need to get over the program application hurdle. thank you anon. i might need to stay off 4chan for 2 weeks so i can study… all i want is one single green light in my life. just once i want someone to accept my application for something.

Anonymous 42221

>>42220
I skipped this entirely by doing personal projects and brought up to friends which in turn came to me when their workplace needed someone with the skillset, then giving me a small task as a test to get the job. Considering it happened 3 times it's not just blind luck.

Anonymous 42223

>>42221
what kind of personal projects?
there are small little homebrewed programs i use for various utilities, like a automated manga page downloader. i can't imagine getting to that just from freecodecamp or sololearn. i just don't know enough to do anything useful. …i also don't have friends.

anyway i'm gonna go through their prereq prep and do their exercises, then study on my own, then review all my code and notes before the interview. just need to concentrate on studying without being overwhelmed by feels.

Anonymous 42224

>>42221
I did a forum with cdn/mail api integration and responsive design, it wasn't public but everything worked and could host for people to see, I also messed around with doing a single page application game.

Anonymous 42225

>>42223
woops wrong quote lol >>42224

Anonymous 42226

>>42224
neat. those are both over my head right now but i'll keep it in mind. thanks.

Anonymous 42238

>>42237
I posted this in /b/, but it seems relevant here:
Politics, clout chasing, and a general inability to trust that people are acting in good faith incentivizes people sniping at each other to try and score points, either by getting the other person pissed off and looking ridiculous compared to you, or having you feel like you're really making a difference in the world by arguing about politics online.

The days of old school 4chan and forums and IRC rooms when the internet was smaller, more separated, and less directly tied to real life meant that you could cultivate communities of people who didn't have secret agendas beyond wanting to be part of a group that shared a common interest. You could genuinely trust each other because it was hard enough to find enough people who you were on the same page with to make a community at all. Trolls wouldn't be fed because everyone was on the same page about not engaging them and there wasn't a meta-structure that rewards outrage, hot takes, and dunks with likes and sharing across different websites, ripping stuff from their social context in order to get "engagement" elsewhere.

With the internet basically becoming real life for a lot of people, escapism now means leaving the internet. It's one hell of an inversion.

Anonymous 42241

image-9.jpg

>>42237
I think trannies are only a real life issue if you frequent LGBT clubs/women's only spaces or go to a very liberal college. Encountering them in the wild is rather rare otherwise. Although it's worth mentioning that they bend laws aimed at protecting women to fit them despite being less than 1 percent of the population.

Anonymous 42244

>>42237
yeah, i notice days i browse /pol/ i'm angry and impatient the whole day. days i don't i'm cheerful and productive. it is toxic. but at the same time, it's the only unbiased news source available.

Anonymous 42251

>>42244
No offence, but /pol/ is in no way unbiased. In fact, they do not even hide their clear bias. Sure what they tell you may "seem" objective but they never bother to show anything that supports opposite beliefs. Just give up on politics to be honest, it is celebrity gossip for old men who have nothing else to do but complain 24/7

Anonymous 42253

>>42251
>Just give up on politics to be honest, it is celebrity gossip for old men who have nothing else to do but complain 24/7
Okay, tell that to a woman in venezuela a few years ago.

Anonymous 42254

>>42251
>Just give up on politics to be honest

Yeah this is what happens when you do that.

https://twitter.com/RitaPanahi/status/1301077873730568193

Americans have no idea how good they have it with their constitution.

Anonymous 42255

>>42251
I don't think you realise that bias is what some people are looking for.

Anonymous 42256

>>42254
At the right the govt is becoming OK with ignoring the constitution entirely well soon learn how good we had it if it makes you feel any better

Anonymous 42257

>>42254
I saw that and I can't even watch it or go to threads on it, I just get too angry. you have murders going unsolved in australia, canada, and england, while the police arrest white people who are sitting in their houses posting wrongthink online. america isn't that bad yet but the leftists have gotten around it by making cancelculture, where if you disagree with the twitter mob you will lose your job and have your life destroyed. it takes a special kind of evil to do that. even 4chan has never done that, at most they would flood your fax machine with pages printing "nigger" or play fart noises on your voicemail or something. germany put an 80 year old woman into prison for years because she said the holocaust narrative didn't make sense.

you can ignore politics but politics won't ignore you. i'm sure before mao's revolution there were people who just wanted to ignore the unpleasant stuff going on. and they got shot in the back of the head.

Anonymous 42259

>>42256
>is becoming

They already ignore it to a ridiculous degree but you don't see the kind of shit you see in the UK where there's 3000 social media post arrests yearly, a girl shared rap lyrics in memory of one of her friend's that had just died on instagram and she was forced to pay a 600 pound fine, had 2 months of 8pm-8am curfew and had to wear an electronic ankle tag for the entire period as well as 500 hours of community service.

Anonymous 42263

630x356.jpg

>>42237
>>42238
Thanks for making these posts. I feel the same and wished I could cut myself off the internet without getting a severe case of FOMO.

Anonymous 42286

I'd cut myself off from the internet, but then I'd lose all my social interaction as well since I only have internet friends.

Anonymous 42295

>>42286
There has to be someone you show interest in IRL.

Anonymous 42296

>>42295
normie detected. leave this place. don't lonely-shame people.

Anonymous 42297

>>42296
I seriously hope you're not the poster I just replied to.

Anonymous 42300

>>42297
i am not. don't shame people who don't have friends. begone.

Anonymous 42304

Went on Faceberg and saw this guy I was once in love with got married. This girl seems like the naturally happy type and he looks like he stopped drinking. He never even remotely liked me. I hate my fucking life.

Anonymous 42310

>>42300
I'm not shaming anyone. I'm trying to help someone through their problems. Go get some sleep.

Anonymous 42316

>>42295
Not her, but there literally isn't for me either.
I have 5 or so coworkers and the only reason I even know their names is because it's on our schedule. I don't know anything else about them and don't care to.
I don't see any other people on a regular basis, and have not for years.

Anonymous 42319

>>42316
It's time you start caring. All you have to do is ask, and then listen.

Anonymous 42323

>>42319
Our break times are staggered and we're typically busy with customers when not on break. But assuming that wasn't true, what would I get out of pretending to be interested in their lives? Faking it until it becomes real doesn't work, at one point I had prolonged contact with the same people multiple times each week for nearly a year and the second I stopped physically attending those gatherings I essentially completely cut all communication with them without a second thought.

Anonymous 42330

>>42295
There isn't sadly, I'm a neet who studies from home. All my internet friends live a far way away from me. I've met two of them in person before on two separate occasions but even though they're my friends I still feel a bit awkward around them honestly, it's hard matching up the internet person with the real life one as autistic as that sounds. I was planning to see one of my internet friends this year but then covid happend.

Anonymous 42342

>>42341
maybe but their opinion is irrelevant

Anonymous 42345

>>42343
I use they/them if someone's gender isn't the defining feature of what I'm talking about.

That said, trans can absolutely fuck straight off, if there's any problem with trans rights is they have too many rights.

Anonymous 42346

13060018_f1024.jpg

>>42344
>You mean your cashier doesn't look like this?

Anonymous 42350

>>42348
>so why would you call her they/them

I dunno, I let myself get conditioned back when I was naive about sjws

>genderspecial dangerhairs from tumblr


never heard this one, made me lol

Anonymous 42352

>>42351

I don't do this irl thankfully, on the internet people are just text on a screen so I'm more ambivalent.

>now suddenly everywhere there are people calling themselves "polyromantic genderqueer demisexual" with xe/xir/xum pronouns


The most retarded recent variation of this is the latinx crowd, it's the most culturally insensitive "I know better than you" thing ever.

It's so stupid because you can't pronounce it at all and replacing the x with an e makes a mockery of the entire language, on top of that 99.9% of native speakers tell them it's stupid. AND YET.

Anonymous 42379

>>42323
Don't pretend. Be interested. Change your mind.

Anonymous 42380

>>42379
Right.
Can you describe a way to do that that isn't "just do it"?

Anonymous 42381

>>42380
Realise that this is a mental transaction, and that if you want x, you need to give y. In order to gain trust, you need to remember information about them, and answer it back when they recall it. This is how you socially link.

Anonymous 42382

Taric_0[1].jpg

>>42344
This guy is straight off the cover of a romance novel.

Anonymous 42384

>>42381
I already do that.
That doesn't help me actually enjoy it. It's just a mask. Wearing it is a hassle, which is why I prefer not to interact in the first place.

Anonymous 42388

I hate myself and I've been doing it for years. I hate how I look, I hate how I think and it's absurd but I also hate myself for the fact I merely do it. Since I was a kid all I could fantasize about was being invisible, I knew that rejection will be a part of me for the rest of my life so I thought that being invisible would just save the burden of being rejected. My father abandoned me, my mom tried her best to deal with me but gave up when I started my teens and my sister would only look at me with pity. I was raped once, she was there but didn't do nothing, more than laughing at the next day, despite of knowing I was unconscious at the moment, I started to hate myself even more, I started to abandon myself since everyone else did it and gained weight, lose it and gained it again, couldn't stick to something. This year my sister who studies in another country came to visit my mom and I, problems started, she made my mom to kick me out of the house in the start of this pandemic, I had no job, only a few savings left after spending almost everything on food, rent for my mom since her business was doing bad. I had to live in a house with another 9 strangers because that was all I could afford. The only support I had was from voices from the internet, my then best friend, a guy from a country so far to mine, who even though he has a privilege life could understand me, thanks to him I met someone who after a while I fell to. I had insecurities because he was someone from internet, someone who has never seen me in person, someone who has never seen what I hate the most, my overweight body, that only symbolizes how much I hate myself. A month after I started different diets to lose weight, diets that made me feel weak so I decided to start with something that have been working on but the process is slow. After few months of getting close to this guy we decided that he will meet me, he will come to my country and spend time with me, I was excited but scared of him knowing how I look so I decided to come clean and show him, slowly how my aspect is, he thinks I'm beautiful but can't deny he doesn't feel comfortable with my body. I don't blame him, I'm not either but it still makes me sad. A few days ago my sister saw his discord and added him, and yesterday I invited my sister to my new place, a room that I rent to a guy that has its own bathroom, couldn't be more comfortable. My sister took a photo of me without me knowing and sent it to that guy, I couldn't feel more betrayed, she knows how much I hate myself, how much I suffered thanks to my body, she even saw me passing out because I stopped eating, she saw my uncle caring my body after saw me fainted in the bathroom. She knows everything but she still did it, she still took photos of me while I was working and sent them. He said it wasn't big deal but in my mind it's like hell. I had a panic attack and threw up multiple times yesterday night and I have no friends to talk about this because my best friend decided to be jealous and abandon me. Can't really blame him.

Anonymous 42393

>>42351
>live in seattle
>look on linkedin or at company website team sections or uni boards or anything else
>pronouns everywhere
>open tinder
>soyboys feel the need to state their pronouns, just in case you couldn't guess or something
it's literally more common than not to see this shit now. i hate sjw, they're so fucking annoying and they never shut up.
>>42352
employment related stuff will literally use "latinx" "folx" and other nu-speak. it's like they pushed everything to 11 and they're still running behind the cart pushing it faster and faster every day. day to day things are getting visibly more clowny. THEY DO IT IRL. coming to a town near you very soon. i may live in ground zero for the sjw retardation death-spiral but my world is merely a preview of yours in the near future. cultural marxists need to be rounded up and shot.

Anonymous 42401

>>42384
How do you feel satisfied from an online interaction, then? It should be the same feeling.

Anonymous 42415

>>42381
More like if you want x you need to give y, z, a, b and c, the trust and admiration of a common normie isn't anything worth the time and effort, and it's actually possible to become more interesting than them, then they go out of their way to avoid you because of jealousy since their own interests are so banal and shallow.

And that's putting it in a good light, they actually can and do sabotage you if they're petty, SPECIALLY if they have to compete with you for attention, then it's hell of earth with them.

Anonymous 42416

>>42393
>employment related stuff will literally use "latinx" "folx" and other nu-speak.

This is purely fueled by hiring woke sociology degree marxists into HR, how do companies fall for this, they're giving complete control of their company ecosystem to people that think everything has to be evenly split demographically (but with no diversity of opinion). The only big company that hasn't fallen for this is redbull.

>Red Bull also reportedly fired its global head of music, entertainment and culture marketing Florian Klaass, and eliminated or scaled back entertainment and culture teams in Canada, the UK and Austria.

Anonymous 42444

>>42416
>but with no diversity of opinion
very based post. their diversity is a list of checkboxes of superficial qualities (whether you prefer taking dick or licking vag, what color you are, and what genitalia you possess) instead of any meaningful diversity (introvert vs extrovert, differing social and political opinions, nu-media-watchers versus classics-frens, analytic minds versus social-orientation emotional thinkers, shounenfags vs seinenchads, people who use the oxford comma versus people who are wrong, etc.).

Anonymous 42479

>>42401
I never start online interactions, and only drop into them when the subject matter is something I'm personally interested in. Even then, what's being discussed is the idea, not the other people in the conversation.
Maybe the problem is just that I don't know any people IRL who share my interests, but I also don't have any real drive to find such people.

Anonymous 42485

>>42444
>people who use the oxford comma versus people who are wrong
You have that backwards.

Anonymous 42486

>>42485
Kys subhuman.

Anonymous 42488

>>42444
>people who use the oxford comma versus people who are wrong

got a laugh from me

Anonymous 42505

Who else is poor fag here? I've been poor my whole life and it even gets more depressing now as both my parents rely on my brother and mine's incomes to pay the bills. I want to hate my parents so much for being so indecisive on having children without even thinking if they can afford it. The main reason why I don't want to be in a relationship is because I'm too preoccupied with our financial problems, it's so fucking annoying. I want to kms I want to buy stuff for myself too ngl

Anonymous 42510

cali.jpg

>>42505
yeah i'm poor, i'm estranged from my family however.
meaning i get to essentially rely on myself for everything. It's a struggle but i definitely agree with you that your parents should have seriously thought about wherever or not they should have had kids.

Anonymous 42521

61IF0TWUZRL._AC_SY…

I really need a job but I've had absolutely no luck with job hunting. It's been difficult before covid but now it's became even more tedious. Soon I'm gonna go into uni and I'll have virtually no money for anything other than rent.

Anonymous 42527

>>42479
Then you should start building that drive. There has to be someone with your interests, anon. Think about where someone who likes what you like would hang out.

Anonymous 42529

>>42505
Yeah, same here, I can't think of anything else apart from carefully planning how to use my resources. I wish I would be in the right state of mind to think about less…essential things. Because even if I watch a movie for example, I can't enjoy it. Nor do I care about politics.

Anonymous 42531

mS91uZo.gif

I should stop browsing imageboards and subreddits like fds. Their mindset made me resentful of everyone and fueled my bitter, toxic shame towards men, trans people, y'know. However, I'm scared that their assumptions towards majority are true.

Man, I should go out more

Anonymous 42532

>>42527
>Think about where someone who likes what you like would hang out.
At their home, probably.
Really though, I already feel like I don't have very much free time. I'm at work 10 hours/day, and between that, eating, getting ready, and driving to and from work, I've only got 3 hours or so to myself most nights before I start cutting into my sleep. I don't really want to spend it friend hunting.
In any case, I used to talk with people who shared my interests, back in high school and such. I talked with pretty much the same people every day for four years, and yet I haven't felt the desire to send any of them so much as a Facebook message since I graduated. I never did bother to learn anything about them personally; they were lucky if I knew their last name.
I don't think I've ever liked any person enough to have a desire to go out of my way to see or contact them specifically. If it hasn't happened by now, I don't see how forcing more interaction would ever be able to cultivate it, either.

Anonymous 42533

>>42521
I totally know how you feel. I’ve been trying to find a job since April. I finish my masters this month and it feels like covid has absolutely shafted my plans. Absolute suicifuel

Anonymous 42534

smoking.jpg

>>42533
everyday i check like five job sites and there's just nothing, i've been trying to get a job since November and i have years of experience too

Anonymous 42547

5f0b3b869cdfc35118…

this is dumb, but:
>be me
>have roleplaying as a hobby (like d&d, but over forums–collaborative story-writing, i guess)
>enjoying my time on this one site…
>…when a person i really dislike joins out of nowhere
>ok. resolve to ignore them and continue enjoying myself
>BUT
>they join the same faction i'm in
>they take the "youngest character" spot (for no other reason than to be "babied" x3)
>plus they're in the faction gc now so i can't get away with just…blocking him
i'm very irritated, and my reasons for being mad are silly and obscure. don't even know really why this person irritates me so much, but damn. my mood is so shit
i'm going to silently hope they don't approach me for plots or anything.

Anonymous 42553

>>42505
me. i hate that i'm not able to help my parents with dental shit (because both of them have good, reasonably priced insurance thanks to military crap, but no dental? what the fuck) or x expense. also hate how unsure my future is, thanks to a lack of funds. every day is just me walking on a tightrope and hoping some random freak occurrence doesn't snip it.
sigh

Anonymous 42580

ice cream.jpg

>>42547
sometimes theres just people who annoy you, there doesn't need to even be a reason for it. hopefully they'll simmer down a bit

Anonymous 42592

>>42547
I get annoyed by people like this too. It's easy to see through their shit. Weirdly I've had the same exact experiences way too frequently on forum rp sites, it makes me think that some communities just attract and fuel that kind of behavior. It became to the point where I just haven't had the energy to join another rp site in years.

Anonymous 42662

>>42661
do me a favor and take this shit to the terfposting thread

Anonymous 42663

>>42662
better the men hate one I guess

Anonymous 42665

>>42661
It's because there is a leftist hierarchy and white women are below black moids under that hierarchy.
Lots of non-leftists repeatedly pointed this out when millennials started their SJW shenanigans years ago, but apparently noticing that is just fascism and hatred and means you want genocide or something.

Anonymous 42666


Anonymous 42726

My periods are so irratic it pisses me off.

Anonymous 42743

I wanna buy a remaster of a game I really like but my bf thinks I'm stupid and wasting my money. Idk why it matters so much to him because we don't share finances and I can afford the $20 I'm gonna spend on it. We got in an argument over it and he started pointing out all the other things I like that I've spent money on that he thinks is dumb as fuck (mainly CD's). Why the fuck can't I just spend my money on shit that makes me happy? Why can't I be excited about something that you think is stupid? I sure as fuck don't tell you it's stupid when you spend your money on all your loot boxes, even if I think it is, because I know you like it.
All this started because I told him I was buying the game and offered to buy him a copy as well so lmao

Anonymous 42748

>>42743
Does he make less or come from a poor background?

Anonymous 42753

>>42748
No - he actually makes more than me and his family is middle class. Neither of us are struggling with money which is why I feel like this is a passive aggressive attack on my hobbies

Anonymous 42795

moomin gun time.jp…

>>42753
>>42743
what game is it anon?

Anonymous 42826

>>42743
>>42753
my ex wasted tons of money on really stupid fucking shit. i never said a word about it because it was his money. your bf sounds controlling and pissy. as long as you are putting some money into savings what is his problem with it? it's not his money. how often does he eat out, or drink?

Anonymous 42831

>>42743
>Why the fuck can't I just spend my money on shit that makes me happy?
Why does buying things make you happy?
>I sure as fuck don't tell you it's stupid when you spend your money on all your loot boxes, even if I think it is, because I know you like it.
Why not? Go ahead and tell him it's stupid and a waste of money. As stupid as spending money on things like video games and music that can be obtained for free mind you, but still stupid.

>>42753
Do you think his family was rich because they were spendthrifts? Just because he isn't poor doesn't mean that the underlying logic is not consistent.

Anonymous 42843

>>42743
If you're getting into a serious point in a relationship, at least at the level of living together and even considering a longer term relationship that might lead to serious commitments like buying a house, then discussing finances properly is a smart idea. Preferably in a more mature way than described but $20 here and there adds up quickly and given the insane financial situation of late avoiding frivolous spending is sensible.
>I sure as fuck don't tell you it's stupid when you spend your money on all your loot boxes, even if I think it is, because I know you like it.
You're assuming a level of self awareness that might not be present on his part because men are bad at that. Bring this subject up directly and see how he reacts, if he gets defensive then fair enough he's being hypocritical but if he's happy to reign in what you see as pointless spending after it's pointed out to him then it's reasonable to expect the same from you.

You might not be struggling for money now but if he's thinking longer term every penny counts. Though if you've only been together a short while then he's just complaining over nothing.

>>42753
>why I feel like this is a passive aggressive attack on my hobbies
Most men lack the social depth to work on that level rather than just literally saying your hobbies are stupid to your face.

Anonymous 42847

>>42547
not signalling for attention or anything but i feel bad for thinking this way. sorry

Anonymous 42872

I post something cringe, hide the thread right after and don't open it again. I can't stop myself from posting cringe things.

Anonymous 42903

my bf is a jerk

Anonymous 42906

>>42726
erratic* you dumb bitch.

Anonymous 42932

I'm 25 and I've never so much as held someone's hand in a romantic way.
Is there still hope for me?

Anonymous 42936

>>42932
Your market value is fairly high

Anonymous 42943

>>42936
Were I a normal person otherwise, sure, but doesn't going so long without hitting any dating milestones at all imply a lot of undesirable mental/social issues?

Anonymous 42944

My 20th birthday is very soon. Lately I've been very depressed over the realization that I have only had 1 friend for over a year now, and that friendship teeters on the edge of being an acquaintance. I have tried my very best to make new friends, but at best, we are incompatible. At worst, the other person is horribly boring or obnoxious. After dealing with this for so long, one starts to wonder if they're just meant to be a hermit.

I always told myself that if I'm not married by 25, I'll kill myself. I've had 4 boyfriends now. First one cheated, second one was pedophilic… the third one I thought was perfect, and of course, he pumped and dumped me. The fourth was a wonderful, introspective guy, but by that point I was too mentally unstable to make it work. The one thing they all had in common was that I was never their #1. They couldn't stop thinking about and comparing me to others, and they made that clear.

My 20th birthday is very soon. It's unbelievable. I can barely fend for myself. I cry at the smallest things. I get off on self harm. I can't imagine a world where anyone would love me so I've become a masochist in my sexual fantasies. This is the worst time of my life.

Anonymous 42948

>>42944
You're still young anon, maybe consider spending a year or two on yourself before you go out looking for a partner again.

Anonymous 42951

>>42944

4 boyfriends before your 20s? You need to spend your next years working on yourself, you're still young and have a full life ahead of you to do what you want, I was 25 and quite literally in the same boat as you but 5 years later I'm doing great, you can make it.

Anonymous 42952

>>42948
>>42951

I'm going to get uglier in a few years anyways. Marriage isn't going to happen. I think I will probably end up dead and I don't even have friends to talk to about it.

Anonymous 42990

>>42906
english isn't my first language don't be mean

Anonymous 42992

>>42952
Please be a troll, if not you are everything that's wrong with zoomers.

Anonymous 43041

uwo.png

>>43040

Anonymous 43042

>>42990
Ignore them just do you

Anonymous 43043

>>42943
Virginity isn't normal, though. Your market value is still high. Brain problems are only as strong as your will lets them be. Just go out and talk to a boy.

Anonymous 43047

>>42992
>on board largely about men being cruel and incapable of love
>thinks I'm a troll

You guys are so fucking exhausting. Did you not read what I wrote? If you think that's all a troll you're far too well-adjusted to come here often.

Anonymous 43060

i've been dating asian guys until now but i think i really want a white bf. (i'm white btw.) what do?

Anonymous 43094

I live with people who make me feel bad they intentionally and unintentionally do it.

Anonymous 43095

>>43074
>"""recommending""" /pol/
This board really is full of males

Anonymous 43106


Anonymous 43107

>>43060
date white guys then. i dont get your question

Anonymous 43119

Post was deleted
>crystal.cafe not even once

Anonymous 43122

>>43119
kek the admin's a little bitch. Deleted several of my posts too but won't tell me which rule I even broke

Anonymous 43124

IMG_20191002_10420…

Just found out my mom has stopped menstruating due to menopause making me the only one in this house that still has periods (we live in a family of 3). It's kinda lonely, I hate this feeling.

Anonymous 43170

why do people want to copy me all the time?
and no this isn't me being paranoid or thinking everything is about me. I've had several friends tell me they started doing something because of me (learning a language, webcomics, niche and obscure hobbies). do they want to be closer to me or have something in common with me or…? it's kind of flattering but at the same time it feels like they're stealing my thunder
and yes I'm aware of how full of myself I sound right now but this is a vent thread and I'm allowed to show the ugly side of me. I know I'm being immature but I don't know how to stop feeling this way

Anonymous 43181

>>43170
They're interested, I think.

Anonymous 43187

>>43133
Sex without a story, oh my God no…

Anonymous 43232

>>43133
holy FUCK how about YOU mold to MY interests?

i don't like capeshit movies and never will, they're garbage and so are you, get over it. you are so unbelievably one sided selfish and entitled. you're way too immature to date anyone you fucking moid.

Anonymous 43233

tumblr_3ec0584f2c9…

no offence to any older miners but the thought of being 26 scares me. it's fucking GHETTO. i don't want to get older, fuck

Anonymous 43241

>>43233
I'm only 23 and the last year or so since I graduated college have flown by. You'll get to 26 before you know it, anon!

Anonymous 43243

qs6vm64myb441.jpg

>>43241
NOOOOOOO
i'm 22 lol

Anonymous 43245

nice, I'm forced to take care of a disabled family member right when I graduate college when thought I could start living my own life. Best part is that he's younger than me so I'm gonna die before he does and I don't even know what'll happen to him then :') shit sux life sux

Anonymous 43246

time.jpg

>>43243
If it makes you feel better, we're all growing old together
>>43245
Why do you have to?

Anonymous 43282

>>41333
Because its obviously a lie nobody can fuck 61 guys in a week. Only a pornstar.

Anonymous 43295

>>41647
>He doesn't even offers himself up to get fitter and lose weight with you, he wants you to do it alone

What a dick. Be smarter than that.

Anonymous 43297

>>42534
And there won't be covid is a curse. There is nothing to do except wait for it to be over.

Anonymous 43305

_111902736_gettyim…

>>43245
That really sucks anon, what disability do they have?

Anonymous 43307

jnlq.png

replaying boyfriend to death 2 and i'm just like
adults made this
>adults made this
adults made this
>adults made this
the fucking art LMAO
the way the fandom is a bunch of underage people. the way one of the creators was a transgender male with a guro/furry/puke fetish. the internet was invented to be a tool for the US government and people do shit like this on it now, i love it, it's hilarious and amazing

Anonymous 43308

Law kun.jpg

>>43307
the parts with gatobob's characters are so much better, a game solely of her input would be so much more enjoyable than her doing a joint project with her tranny friend, hence why i look forward to her upcoming game so much. The werewolf guy and "cain"'s route were so unbelievably cringey and the shitty art really doesn't help. it's very telling how tranny-kun's routes are full of inexplicable fantasy shit with fucking seme-tier bullshit characters while gatobob has a much better grasp when it comes to characterisation and horror

Anonymous 43312

>>43307
The actual funny part is that some people played those routes just to get a game completion award. What kind of loser

Anonymous 43313

>>43308
hard agree, my favorite character was ren hana and i'm not surprised at all he turned out to be one of gatobob's characters lmao. even if they're both being cringe, she's a much better writer and artist

Anonymous 43317

>>43313
ren was cute but law and his murderous autist shtick was really endearing

Anonymous 43323

>>43282
>nobody can fuck 61 guys in a week
that's lifetime score, not one week. holy shit.

Anonymous 43327

>>41331
is getting lose after having a lot of sex a moid myth then?

Anonymous 43345

>>43327
Yes it’s a myth.. How do you not know this as a woman?

Anonymous 43346

>>43345
Because the body count is too fake for a week. Those are pornstar who do gangbangs numbers and doing overtime work too. It's literally a lie made up story.

Anonymous 43347

>>43323
So you went through 61 guys and still haven't found the one?
No offense but I don't think anyone needs to take advice from you, lol.

Anonymous 43348

>>43347
Who doesn't love the smell of cat urine and despair

Anonymous 43351

>>43348
At least she still has a chance of falling in love.

Anonymous 43355

>>43351
Lol those are just fantasies after such a mark. At that point the least bad option might be out of reach

Many people live such lives

Anonymous 43356

>>43355
A little faith can go a long way, anon.

Anonymous 43358

20200910_130332.jp…

i fuckin hate being ALIVE

my existence is so useless - i'm even questioning myself when i have normal interactions. i'm never good enough, for MYSELF, and then to others bt extension.
i'm getting to old and poor to be mentalillnessfag
i don't want to feel better by thinking about those who have it worse, i want to feel better by knowing i have a big beautiful normie family that celebrates holidays together.
what the fuck, life? what in the actual fuck?

Anonymous 43359

>>43358
>i don't want to feel better by thinking about those who have it worse
You're not supposed to feel better about having it better. You're supposed to feel sorry that they have it just as bad. We're all in this shithole together, anon. Just look around you.

Anonymous 43372

Donaldmonkeyjesus.…


Anonymous 43392

I hate getting attention and more than once people have trafficked me to the internet. and I'm talking real trafficking with my location and real face and body. It happened to me at first at seven years old, I was too young to understand, but now as a adult I can't emotionally handle it.

And yes I know posting this will make the issue worse… hahaha… nothing solves the issue

Anonymous 43401

Can people really be like this?
We are currently working on a paper, my job is to write and edit shit together so we can have at least a decent product.
>Fixed her wording and typos so it looks more professional.
>"X, you are fixing very minor things. You don't have to do that.''
>Told her to add more to this idea because it's still a little unclear.
>''I'm lazy X, i don't wanna do it."
Ok miss independent, don't look at me when your part is shit.

Anonymous 43402

He's still around even now. Every time I tell myself I'm just going to nuke my discord account and never speak to him again, I inevitably end up going back to him cause I"m terrified of the idea of him not being in my life, even though he's a genuinely awful person.
My logic is, I think all men are garbage fires, (speaking from experience) primarily thanks to socialization, and they're incapable of truly ever loving a woman. So you just have to pick whatever brand of shittiness you're okay with. But I'm not okay with this, and at the same time, going by the way men are, I'm likely gonna end up alone once I finally get away from him. I just have to make peace with that and I don't even know how. I wish I never met him. I wish I never knew what it was like to truly connect with someone. Of course it had to be a psychopath with a long history of abuse. This sucks.

Anonymous 43403

Pretty sure my bf made me stay under the covers last night while giving him a blowie so he could secretly watch porn on his phone. He kept complaining he was cold which was an obvious excuse but I was too confused/conflicted/too much of a pussy to say anything about it.

Anonymous 43404

>>43402
There are better people anon. Don't let him take advantage of your misandry.

Anonymous 43409

>>43407
What the fuck how that's not shameful for him?
Can't he do that mess on his house?

Why are moids so unhygienic.

Anonymous 43410

>>43407
pack up and leave, there is nothing of value left in the relationship

Anonymous 43411

>>43410
Don't exaggerate. Maybe the man learns to finally clean his ass well.

Anonymous 43416

b3f46f78-2381-4458…

I have a question for everyone

Those of you who used to be friends with men but dropped them, did you notice your mental health improve?

Anonymous 43419

>>43407
>It’s been about half a day since that and he’s sitting in the living room with no pants on and dried shit all over his ass
This post is a joke, right? Surely people like this cannot exist.
Surely people who would willingly be around people like this cannot exist.

Anonymous 43423

>>43417
Tell him that he will have to be cleaner or you will go back with your parents tbh. That's all that's left.

Anonymous 43424

>>43421
What he fuck does he have that he can make up for THAT?
Seriously.
Are you insane?

Anonymous 43427

>>43416
No, it declined because I didnt have any friends left.

Anonymous 43437

>>43416
For me it did and I noticed how much better I felt almost immediately. Sometimes I have the urge to reconnect with them but I know that's because I miss the good memories with them than the actual person themselves.

Anonymous 43444

>>43424
He is super handsome

Anonymous 43447

>>43444
My boyfriend is not super handsome, please do not make fake replies to my problem. I love him because he loves me and I want to live the rest of my life with him

Anonymous 43451

Why do these lingering feelings keep coming back when I know he's moved on with someone new or his ex.again.
I am trying to start over again yet once in a while they come back these emotions for what could have been. Why why why. I wish I could be stoic indifferent cynical why am such a weirdo. Why..ree..

Anonymous 43452

>>43407
Sorry friend but your bf is mentally ill and you have some unhealthy attachment to him, probably stemming from some trauma. There are only two options, leave him or force him to get therapy while you temporarily leave. And before you say you're okay, realize that you're living in a health hazard. Normal people wouldn't put up with this, their basic instincts wouldn't let them.
Now, I know you won't actually follow anybody's advice and will refuse to leave. So just know that this is going to get worse, and it will be your fault.

Reminds me of schizo bf anon, who continued to live with her schizo bf, continued to enable him thinking things could get better with therapy, and then she came back to tell us we were right and that things got worse. Choose your destiny.

Anonymous 43456

1546664382251.jpg

It's my birthday in a few hours and I've pushed away anyone who would or could care. I live in a prison of my own making.

Also I wish svg objects would react to my javascript functions aaaaa I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm so unqualified for my job.

Other than that I hope everyone else is having an ok weekend.

Anonymous 43458

>>43456
>It's my birthday in a few hours and I've pushed away anyone who would or could care. I live in a prison of my own making.

I can relate to that.
For what it's worth I do wish you a happy birthday.
Just take the day off, enjoy some sunshine and eat some cake.
That's what I usually do.

As for the JS problems. Idk, go ask on stackoverflow, I guess.

Anonymous 43459

wishing i were hot again so i could become a streamer bimbo and make a lot of money
just let me win the LOTTERY holy shit

Anonymous 43463

>>43459
are you old or something why would you just not be hot? Is it fixable like through dieting or are you just fucked?

Anonymous 43467

>>43456
yesterday was my birthday and I spent it lying in bed skipping out on my friend

Anonymous 43475

My boyfriend was having a lot of problems this morning but I was patient and helped him through them without being judgemental or getting angry. Then he was like "we should go out!" so I was pretty excited but then he decided it wasn't really safe right now so I should just go to the store and he would cook us up a nice lunch. I was really happy because all we've been doing is arguing lately and I feel like absolute suit and I know he's hurting, too. But then when I got back from grocery shopping he brought up a mistake I made months ago and started a whole argument. I freaked our because I'm tired and stressed and we had a argument that turned into him rattling off everything that's wrong with me and why I'm stupid. He tells me this all the time and I didn't want to hear it any more so I just left. I just want a normal weekend. I want to start the work week refreshed, not more physically and mentally exhausted. :(

Anonymous 43476

>>43452
Lol I think you're talking about me, thanks for making me laugh for the first time today.

Anonymous 43477

>>43475
Coronavirus or any long stretch of time where two people are stuck with one another and unable to get their own space will lead to friction. This can be true even of great couples where both people are very independent, though I'm not sure that's exactly what's happening here. Sit down and both have a chat about what's causing you to fight and see if you can try and organise alone time for the both of you though later one you'll need to go address the real issue.

Anonymous 43514

6f0.png

I haven't had sex with my bf in three or four weeks and it's beginning to really get to me, I'll have to wait even longer soon as he'll be busy with work

Anonymous 43516

>marries a Brown man
>Have kids with Brown man
>Is upset when her kids aren't as light skinned as she is
I hate myself and my whore mother

Anonymous 43517

>>43516
God that's relatable why do white women do this.

Anonymous 43521

>>43407
i may have fucked 61 people but i have more self-value than to be with a guy who shits in a bathtub and leaves it there.

Anonymous 43552

>>43521
You didn't bang 61 moids in a week, you are a moid making shit up. It's impossible unless you are a pornstar doing gangbang scenes overworking every single day of those 7 days.

Lying is bad. Stop.

Anonymous 43566

need to watch lupi…

>>43552
they never said a week… i'm pretty sure they meant 61 as a lifetime body count, where are you getting a week from here?



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