Vent thread Anonymous 46828
Last thread was >>45059
vent your worries and frustrations
I haven't seen or spoken to my mother in a couple of years. I've been thinking about her recently and I just feel frustrated and angry.
Growing up she was emotionally abusive, had an animal hoarding problem, and had a steady stream of online boyfriends who would move in only after talking to her for two weeks (two of whom were convicted pedophiles). One of the dogs she had "adopted" had fleas and they ended up infesting the entire house. When I told her they were biting me and that the itching was driving me insane she said it was "all in my head." I seriously believe this is the root of my obsessive compulsive disorder, I am almost thirty and I still pick my scabs when I am bored or stressed.
I used to have to hide my Christmas money, or else she would take it and spend it on drugs or booze for her boyfriend. She is up to her ears in debt, she has claimed bankruptcy twice and was in the middle of a consumer proposal last I heard of her. After I moved out she would constantly ask me if she could use my name on utility and cable accounts. I always told her no, since I knew she was responsible. After, she tried to convince me that "it was normal for parents to know their children's social insurance numbers." When I told my aunt (her sister) about this she rightfully freaked the fuck out on my mom. I was too young and naive at the time to realize, but by asking me that she was attempting to steal my identity.
After university I had to move in with her temporarily. The mountain town she lived in did not have a branch for my bank so when she was going into the city I asked her to deposit it. It was a full two weeks of pay (so $1000+ dollars). She somehow was able to cash it and she spent it on clothes for her and her boyfriend at the time. God only knows what else they spent it on, I suspect drugs. She never paid me back, when I confronted her about it she told me to "consider it rent" even though I was paying her an already agreed upon amount. This made our already rocky relationship very tense for a long while.
The last time I spoke to her was when I confronted her about another $1500 she owed me (I was dumb enough to add her to my cellular plan, believing she had changed after a few years, and she inflated the bill with international calls). I was out $1500 because I had to pay this phone bill to avoid ruining my credit. Coincidentally around the same time, I was also getting kicked out of my ex's home and I was going to end up homeless unless I could pay first and last somewhere else. She blocked me, and that was the last I heard of her. I ended up having to live with my dismissive father and resentful stepmother for six months in order to save and bounce back from the loss.
How do other anons deal with their mothers treating them like they are nothing? I don't see the difference between the way she treats me and the way she treats any other creditor. Whenever I talk to girls who are close with their mothers I feel so envious.
I'm very sorry that you had to go through all that, and with your own mother no less. She obviously doesn't care for you as she took advantage of you multiple times. You just have to acknowledge and accept that she's really bad for you and cut ties, no one deserves that kind of treatment, specially not from their own parent.
I relate to this on so many levels and sympathize with you totally..
Do you think your mum lacked self awareness?
I am the only one who actually talks to my mum out of all her kids and it is because I hate myself and do not care how horrible she is.
Did you ever feel like it was your fault for getting scammed by your mum because you were silly enough to get outplayed?
I do not live with my mother now so she is unable to steal from me but when she did I just did not care despite always making a fuss.
Do you think your mum is a cluster B or borderline??
Have you been considering talking to her again or thinking just about how horrible she was.
Your post gives off a feeling that you just want to be loved as you should be by your mum and not treated like trash..
Please do not let your mum get you down despite the damage already being done…
Sometimes it is best to just cut people out of your life. Do you think you could have a relationship if you just denied her all requests to get your bux?
I'm so ugly and unappealing that I quite honestly feel literal, actual guilt for even being attracted to women, or imagining myself with a cute gf.
The more weight I lose, and the better my skin gets, just makes me realize my trainwreck facial structure is undeniable. A cute girl is never going to look my way. I am never going to understand how ugly men are so bold as to aim for super gorgeous women (and to that end, I am never going to understand why beautiful women get with hideous men).
Can't even drool over pretty kpop stars because I feel like I'm commiting a crime.
Life can be so cruel.. I wish I knew what to say to make you cheer up.
Never say never though you might meet a cute girl or you might not but hopefully you do end up feeling loved and in love.
I want to tell my crush I like him but I don't think he even knows I exist, much less cares about me. I'm fucking terrified of him rejecting me, but I'm also fucking terrified of missing my chance and seeing him date someone else. Someone pls hug and/or slap me
This is horrible, anon. No one deserves anything like this. I hope you find peace. Sorry if that's a load of nothing, truly am at a loss for words. >>46850
Could try talking to him first, just as friends. Like a hello and some conversation starters.
I'm so fucking sensitive I can't take it anymore, the slightest thing sets me off and makes me cry and it happens so much that people think I am just begging for attention but I genuinely can't help myself. I can't just not make myself cry, my body does it on its own over the stupidest shit. What do I do? A professor set me off over something minor last week and when I started crying he lost it and went on a rant how I am always just pretending to be the victim in everything and such. What the fuck am I supposed to do?
All I do is lay in bed and I do not even sleep to get away from life anymore as waking up stresses me out so much and it is hard to be alone with my thoughts.
I just stay awake for days until I can instantly fall asleep but it is more like passing out.
I spend all my time listening to depressing music and wasting my time online without reading materials I am interested in as everything feels like too much work.
I find myself envious of people who know what they want in life to be happy even incel men that is how much I wish I knew something could make life worth continuing with a potential happy ending.
I envy people who used to be happy but at the same time feel lucky.
I struggle the most with not feeling anything at all and hate myself despite doing therapy to improve as I am certain I will end my life anyway.
Everything feels like too much effort even death which I am well read on achieving.
I do not hate a single soul but deeply dislike the human condition itself.
I overthink everything i am overly critical of all my thoughts and deconstruct them to analyse if they hold merit and a thousand other reasons like a sperg plus this makes me so scared of death itself.
ai am sick of how fake everyone is outside so I do not interact but online culture has begun to reflect the real world so I feel lost as if a part of me is dying.
Life feels like being slowly dragged through mud.
the only thing I hope for is enough drive to kill myself.
do your best.png
you can live with getting rejected but regret will rest with you on your death bed.>>46852
Your professor just does not understand how sensitive you are.
have you considered DBT therapy it helps for emotional regulation and can help you control your feelings.
You are perfect as you are but you can try to become the best version of yourself if you really want.
Dialectic behavioural therapy.
You can find resources online to help learn the skills but it is best to have a therapist help you and is done as part of a group.
Even just learning the skills it teaches may be able to help you.
You can learn how to be more aware of yourself and stopping the surge of emotions which causes situations you dislike.
>Do you think your mum lacked self awareness?
I think she was self-aware, she just downplayed it to where it was not a big deal in her mind. Whenever my mother would be called out by other family members she would say, "Well at least I am not ___ who did ___."
>Did you ever feel like it was your fault for getting scammed by your mum because you were silly enough to get outplayed?
After a certain point, definitely. The social security number situation wouldn't have been my fault if I had actually given it to her, because I was young, just moved out on my own, and was genuinely trusted that my mother would not do anything that would be to my detriment. I had only learned through my aunt about what my mom was intending to do with the SSN if she got a hold of it. However, giving her my paycheck to deposit and putting her on my cellular plan years after that was just stupid on my part. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me
>Do you think your mum is a cluster B or borderline??
I definitely think she is a Cluster B, but I wouldn't be able to pinpoint the exact disorder.
>Have you been considering talking to her again or thinking just about how horrible she was. Your post gives off a feeling that you just want to be loved as you should be by your mum and not treated like trash.
I've just been thinking about how awful the situation was, it's just current life circumstances have caused me to brood on it for the first time in a long while. I am not close with my father or stepmother either. So I think you are absolutely right; I wish I could have a positive relationship with any
kind of parental figure.
>Please do not let your mum get you down despite the damage already being done… Sometimes it is best to just cut people out of your life. Do you think you could have a relationship if you just denied her all requests to get your bux?
I will definitely try not to let it get me down, it used to bother me a lot more a few years ago. To be completely honest I don't think I would be able to have a relationship with her again. Her reasoning for her not having to pay me back was "I spent more than $1500 raising you, if you want to ring up the bill I think you
money." I do not want to be someone's meal ticket, because at the end of the day that is all I was. I just smartened up before she really screwed me over.
>I am the only one who actually talks to my mum out of all her kids and it is because I hate myself and do not care how horrible she is. I do not live with my mother now so she is unable to steal from me but when she did I just did not care despite always making a fuss.
I am so sorry to hear that you are dealing with a situation similar to mine, anon. Do you not care because you were able to move past it after discussing it with your mother? Was it a rough situation where she was genuinely in trouble? Or is it a lack of self-esteem that makes you not care how she (or anyone) treats you? Either way, I also hope you find peace and are able to come to terms with it. We all deserve to have family members who truly care about us and our best interests, but some of us aren't so lucky.
Made me think of Hold on magnolia by songs ohia which I played while thinking
I read and reread what you said only to think about it and the cruel sad reality it is.
I want you to know that you do not want anything but something you should not even have to ask for.
You just want to have a mother in your life without all the hassle as a bare minimum, would it be right to say that you probably think even expecting her to be in your corner rooting you on or sharing and soothing your woes is wishful thinking…>she just downplayed it to where it was not a big deal in her mind.
I have noticed people who do bad things generally do this unless they are a psychopath.
it is some type of cognitive dissonance where they are able to be selfish whilst freeing themselves from the guilt normal people feel.
My mother can simply magically forget she ever did anything one moment and then justify it the next.
This is totally hypocritical of me but I do not think you should ever feel like a fool or silly for trusting mum because mums are meant to help us not hurt us and we hope that maybe they wont even if we know they will.
I want to try encourage you to try make a relationship of some type with boundaries but knowing what you have told me it does not seem like she will change and could try jump on the "opportunity" of having you reach out.. has she tried to reach out ever?
>I just smartened up before she really screwed me over.
You adapted to parental abuse that would likely taint your view of everyone in some way.
>Do you not care because you were able to move past it after discussing it with your mother?
No it is just a shattered sense of self worth which has strangely enough resulted in me no longer being able to feel animosity for anyone and I have had some people really harm me greatly yet without thinking I see their behaviour as just a symptom of their own suffering and past mistreatments reflected back onto me. I worry I will come off as if I am thinking I am enlightened but it is more the opposite where descending has allowed me to forgo hate.
Reading and thinking about what your situation is just made me feel actually upset and have tears in the first time in so long..
so tired of being alive but im also terrified of dying and the afterlife
can i just win the lottery already
I read that when asked to describe their levels of happiness people who won the lottery return to baseline within similar to those that become disabled.
not the actual study but a piece on it I just found https://www.thecut.com/2016/01/classic-study-on-happiness-and-the-lottery.html
What would you do with lotterybux?
You are judging yourself for how you feel so much pls pls try to avoid doing that because you do not deserve it as you are clearly a nice person who has tried and found that it has come to a point where you need to look out for yourself a bit because you know what you struggle as well with your own problems.
I do not know any of the details of this person so I can only go off what you have said but he seems to have poor communication skills if he thinks that the way to air your woes is by randomly saying such negative stuff especially in a cliche way…
It is totally not your job to play therapist I know some people love to do that sort of thing and I personally like to myself support a friend emotionally as best I can but I would not be friends with someone you described.
Firstly I really think you need to consider if you just want to set some boundaries or cut the communication altogether.
Do you find you enjoy your interactions when he is not mentally draining you?
It seems like you just want him to stop and remember you are not a bad person for doing this!!
You are worried how your friends will react but this could be a litmus test to see how your friends will react as they should understand you and not judge you either.
What friend would want another friend to be miserable??
>how to say it
Ok just my personal opinion and considering the situation is complicated by sharing a friend group you could maybe just write out all your feelings and how it is affecting you while explaining to him you are not in a good place so cannot deal with this extra stress and negativity.
If he is your friend he should totally understand but if you ask me he seems a bit selfish.
What do you think?
me again I just wanted to add.
This guy is totally imposing himself on you and formed a dependency by the sounds of it.
So please do not feel bad!
I have to ask if you have tried to give sins at all to him that you are not ok with the way he is behaving.
Maybe he has a crush on you or something I know this is really common with men.
Quite a lot of men have said to me they cannot be friends with a girl which is insane to me anyway..
I have been extremely depressed for over a decade and didn’t realize it was depression until recently. I thought being a shut-in with no friends and unable to go to the store was normal. I sleep about 20 hours a day too, just to avoid reality. I’m gross and can’t get a boyfriend and can’t afford surgery to look pretty, because i don’t have a hot body I can sell on onlyfans, I can’t get a job because I can’t go outside, and work from home jobs aren’t even available here. I wish I had the confidence to live my life fully. I have so many dreams but most of them necessitate being young and attractive and for that reason I cannot see a realistic way of making them come true. I’m the most pathetic person.
I hate to be one of those people who is always accusing everyone else of being narcissists (and often turns out to be a narcissist themselves) but can anyone tell me how to avoid attracting these types of guys?
I swear the only guys I attract are fake ‘nice guys’ who turn out to be sociopathic and have a horde of depraved dirty secrets they kept hidden from me. I think I am attractive to these guys because I have really low self esteem and am something of a doormat at times, I don’t even know if therapy would help because all that self help and positive affirmation stuff just always feels like coping.
Isn't it weird how you can be so used to depression you just do not realize it for what it is.
I was diagnosed in childhood but when older with no life feeling like trash I would be confused why suddenly I could enjoy nothing.
Have you tried to make a friend online? you are a shut in and other shut ins could become good friends that really value you even if you do not have the energy for chit chatting a lot of the time.
Life is depressing your post is depressing as.
At least we know at least one other persons life seems awful as well.
I relate btw
Have you researched the personality type beyond your own experience to be able to detect those crazies before they do weedle their way into your brain and heart?
Everything is coping anyway.. maybe there are some podcasts and youtube videos which could help? idk
sorry for the useless attempt at "advice"
It saddens me to learn other people are going through this too. I hope we find a way out of it someday. I have learned helplessness I think stemming from childhood abuse. I hope other people like me can find the strength to climb out of their rut.
I have been awake too long and I drank too much coffee.
I get really scared in an existential. sense I feel my disassociation melting slightly giving rise to intense fears.
hours ago I was feeling a little better and had rare optimistic moments but now it is all scary with spooky thoughts no matter the direction I look in life.
I am all too aware that my conscious self is less a whole entity but more like I am made up of a whole bunch of slides of different colours which are mixed together and projected to create the me I sense as the present self.
I made my family upset and there is no excuse I just feel they will abandon me so it is best to make everyone hate me.
I realized I need to make a serious effort to improve the way I think and gain control in life or just kill myself because the biggest hurdle is me alone.
I am scared of any choice I make concerning myself because I am just not responsible at all so regret any action I take.
>>46863>I have noticed people who do bad things generally do this unless they are a psychopath. it is some type of cognitive dissonance where they are able to be selfish whilst freeing themselves from the guilt normal people feel. My mother can simply magically forget she ever did anything one moment and then justify it the next.
My mother does the exact same thing, you nailed it right on the head.
>I want to try encourage you to try make a relationship of some type with boundaries but knowing what you have told me it does not seem like she will change and could try jump on the "opportunity" of having you reach out.. has she tried to reach out ever?
Nope, not once. I have a feeling she never will unless she hears through the woodworks about me getting married, pregnant, etc.
>No it is just a shattered sense of self worth which has strangely enough resulted in me no longer being able to feel animosity for anyone and I have had some people really harm me greatly yet without thinking I see their behaviour as just a symptom of their own suffering and past mistreatments reflected back onto me. I worry I will come off as if I am thinking I am enlightened but it is more the opposite where descending has allowed me to forgo hate.
I am sorry to hear that anon. When people behave poorly and that is not your fault, and when they negatively project onto you that is not fair. Do you have someone you can at least talk to? That sounds like a very difficult way of coping.
>Reading and thinking about what your situation is just made me feel actually upset and have tears in the first time in so long.
Things have definitely gotten better, and I hope your situation has gotten better as well. I appreciate you taking the time to talk to me, I do feel better now that I have typed my feelings out. Thank you, anon. <3
>>46899>Nope, not once. I have a feeling she never will unless she hears through the woodworks about me getting married, pregnant, etc.
Don't forget a windfall! why would she come back if you are getting married or pregnant
What I find strange is that I am generally quite good at reading into people and why they do what they do or how they think to the point of predicting behaviour as a reaction to (whatever) but my mum is a real mystery to me in most ways.
She used to gaslight me during my worst times for no reason other than for fun? and when you are trying to deal with hallucinations only to catch your mum knocking on your door only to scurry away or invent entire situations that never happened because she thinks you were too drunk to remember it is so confusing. It must have just been fun for her as I had already learnt not to argue and just agree with anything she says about me as if I am spamming chat dialogue in skyrim lol.
I think she became dependant on me in ways so tried to keep me stuck in a really bad mental place unable to function as it is the only thing to explain discouraging me from trying to improve.
Did Your mum do any of this type of thing as well?
One time for example mum paid me back $700(like nothing from what she owed lol) in cash for some reason to work on paying me back only to wait until I hid it so she could steal it back and say it is my on fault for being stupid and not hiding it better because I should have known better.
I do not even care about money I just felt so defeated from that type of thing continually.
She even pretended to visit me in hospital once only as part of a ruse to get my banking details off me to steal and that was when I was homeless like how can someone do that to their child. I just excuse everyone who hurts me as it feels like my own only purpose.
I feel really pathetic thinking about this as it is like some kid in elementary getting bullied until she starts bullying herself to save the bullies the hassle.
Sorry for the ranting…
I am really thankful for your message. I like to chat to anons a lot but do not often say much about myself.
You said things have gotten better as in you feel better or not as concerned about a relationship with your mum?
pay off current uni loans
pay my way through the rest of uni
buy a small, nice house somewhere safe and vibe
spoil my parents
a lot of little things too (eat healthier, invest in fancy skincare/haircare) but yeah.
Why do you choose a house and not just a small one room apartment to live in with a cleaner to come in while you sleep?
A house is huge and so many empty rooms.
a house seems stabler to me. i mean, if something happens to the building or the landlord then i'm fucked and i'll have to seek out somewhere else to live, but if i have a small house (one bedroom homes exist) on the outskirts of a nice city, i just…feel that's safer. maybe i can even have a small garden and grow my own shit.
also, i wouldn't hire cleaners or anything. i'd really just live the life i live now but without worrying over x price, and be able to splurge on my hobbies and shit.
fuck i hope win the lottery. i understand the chance to is practically non-existent, and that literally millions of other people are hoping to do the same, but fuck. it would be so NICE.
Are you playing the lottery?
II think it is quite rude of people to call it the idiot tax despite knowing full well why they do. Just let people enjoy things
I can see how buying a ticket every week and making a little ritual of checking it (on the TV?) could be fun and worth paying to lose anyway.
Could also just be depressing.
I never spend money anyway really but you can travel with lottobux so that would be totally worth it.
You make some good points I really did not think it through..
For some reason I find the city appealing for somewhere to live even if I did not go outside but it could be nice to grow your own garden.
Small things like that could make life worth more fun.
Can I ask what you (or anyone reading) does for fun?
I have not slept in a few days and im bored af.
I refresh boards then try to read and give up because too tired on repeat.
Any fun youtube channels? I have not been on YT for years so no idea.
What hobbies do you enjoy if I can ask?
I just do writing.
>>46907>Are you playing the lottery?
i might buy a few tickets today, yeah.
Good luck anon.
You might just win.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'll try to offer some advice. One of the most unfair things in life is that some people get to have great parents, and some people don't. You're justified in feeling any negative emotions that you feel. In the long run, those negative emotions will hurt you too, so you should try to accept what happen by understanding it. Forgiveness isn't necessary, but unless you come to terms with your experiences the negative thoughts will keep having a negative effect. My mother abandoned me when I was 3, leaving me with only my dad. I was angry for a long time, but I understand that she was just a selfish person who valued her happiness over her child's.
I like to play chess online. I just play quick games but I enjoy watching YouTube videos by people way better than me. If you can tolerate moids I recommend https://www.youtube.com/user/RosenChess
He posts a video once a day with a game or two, and I like to watch them while I eat breakfast
Wish this guy would stop fucking blasting brittle bones nicki
How ironic that I crave love and intimacy with a man so much yet I can’t date because whenever I do I am filled with constant dread and fear and jealousy and feelings of inadequacy to the point of wanting to an hero. I hate having bpd and anxious preoccupied attachment style, they told me it would get better after my teens but it hasn’t ;_;
I've probably made this post once every six months since the site started, but I'm not normal and I'll never fit in anywhere or with anyone.
I JUST WANT AN OLD FASHIONED LOVING MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP
WHY IS EVERY GUY THESE DAYS SUCH A COOMER
WHY IS NO ONE CONTENT WITH JUST LOVING VANILLA SEX
EVEN BLOWJOBS CANT JUST BE BLOWJOBS, THEY HAVE TO INVOLVE FACEFUCKING UNTIL ALMOST PUKING AND FACESLAPPING
GUYS ARE MORE OBSESSED WITH ASSHOLES THAN VAGINAS
EVERYONE IS A LOW-KEY SCAT LOVER
MEN ARE DIRTY DOGS
GUYS SLEEP WITH A DADDY ISSUES PICKME DOORMAT WHO LIKES BEING CHOKED OUT AND PUNCHED AND SUDDENLY ASSUME EVERY WOMAN MUST LOVE IT TOO
WHY DOES PORN HAVE TO RUIN PEOPLE AND ROB THEM OF ALL THEIR INNOCENCE AND MAKE THEM CUMBRAINED PERVERTED POLYAMOROUS CHEATING PIECES OF SHIT
THIS TIMELINE SUCKS! ROMANCE IS DEAD!
>>46930>THIS TIMELINE SUCKS! ROMANCE IS DEAD!
Very. Now you have to literally buy bf in Japan by hitting the host clubs.
The saddest part is even the host clubs are dead now. I remember from about 2004-2011 they were huge. But every year men prove themselves to be bigger and bigger fuckboys and I think a lot of Japanese women have decided its not even worth paying a guy to act like Prince Charming anymore, just so he can spend it all on his Stacy side bitches.
how is this emblematic of a personality disorder? just being passionate, anxious and clingy is basically how any sane person would react to being constantly told we're disposable by society, and being fearful that any guy you date or marry, will internalize that messaging and leave you, is normal. that's very normal.
i hate this. being anxious and attached and worried about losing someone you love doesn't mean you have a personality disorder, yet psychs are looking to constantly pathologize the VERY NORMAL human condition that women experience as a result of growing up in a society that tells both women and men that we're disposable
>>46930>born too late to enjoy the pre-pornography era of romance, chivalry and man and wife’s duty to each other >born too early to collect a harem of sexy advanced AI bot husbandos
Where is the rope.
Why would you want to pay a person to lie to your face and pretend to be someone else? Ever? That makes no sense. Good, I'm glad they're dying. Very stupid concept.
If you can suspend disbelief that well, that you find value in being lied to and enough value in it to pay them for it, you may as well just play romance games for free or for a few bucks.
This. Men will label any woman who calls them out on their bullshit or is wise to their games crazy or BPD. It’s just typical male gaslighting. Its okay to be blackpilled on moid nature and (rightfully) have zero faith or trust in men, nothing good has ever come of putting your faith in a moid.
BPD is true hell because even though it can feel so good to have someone to love you are ripped apart from all the anxiety and sorry but personally knowing these are just bpd thoughts and feelings does not help make it any less hard to cope with.>>46935>how is this emblematic of a personality disorder?
Sure normal people experience this too but bpd takes it to a higher level where you start cutting yourself because he says he needs to sleep and you think he is throwing you away.
BPD or rather the symptoms are very real but I agree with how psychs like to put everyone into a box.
Unless you wake up and eat grey sludge while watching the news and working you have a personality disorder.>>46936
keked irl desu
There are normal guys, non-coomer guys. But their standards are high and they want young women who will give them children immediately.
>>46939>bpd takes it to a higher level where you start cutting yourself because he says he needs to sleep and you think he is throwing you away.
okay, but it's nothing but hypervigilance? using cutting as a coping method to a perceived threat (which, by the way, could actually be real, with how often men are encouraged to lie and just completely bail on their gfs without telling us), is really not that strange or bizarre? it's not preferred and it's not healthy, but i don't think it means anyone necessarily has a personality disorder. if someone is dramatic simply for the sake of being dramatic, being basically histrionic, then that's one thing. but an elevated threat level like this is usually tied to past neglect, abandonment, or abuse. i don't think that's abnormal or indicative of "lifelong uncurable personality disorder" as bpd is claimed to be and i don't think it's weird to cut yourself if you think you're being abandoned.
that seems very normal to me given the way people act and how women are raised and treated to feel. it's not healthy for you, but i don't think it means you have a lifelong and severely stigmatized affliction. people have varied coping mechanisms and threat levels they experience in response to different situations, all of which depends on their past experiences, trauma, and predisposition to anxiety. just having 'unhealthy' coping mechanisms and higher perceived threat levels isn't an uncurable disorder, nor is it a serious personality flaw.
I think the important difference here is that these reactions are unjustified and illogical yet at the same time entirely make sense because this trait manifests usually in people who do get abandoned and hurt by everyone.
I do not think people who have been labelled BPD should consider themselves beyond help and honestly this is not often the case in reality anyway.
People who learn better skills coping and regulating their emotions, can improve to the point they are no longer diagnosable as borderline.
A diagnosis is really just a cluster of traits that are considered to commonly co occur enough to be given a label so other psychs know what they are dealing with and how best to treat it. We diagnose for simplicity in this case.
Not speaking for anyone else but I personally do not let anyone know I am freaking out and hurting myself aside from seeking assurance sometimes.
I know that other borderlines do try to get attention or use threats of suicide to manipulate and personally I see "explosive" and "quiet" BPD as different disorders which share common elements.
Explosive BPD is why men shudder to find out their GF has bpd so it stigmatizes those who do not hurt anyone but themselves largely.
I loathe when people try to use their mental illness as an excuse for how they behave when it is not in most cases and is just a predictor for future behaviour.
Some stacy types even use it as an excuse for cheating
>just having 'unhealthy' coping mechanisms and higher perceived threat levels isn't an uncurable disorder, nor is it a serious personality flaw.
I think the idolization and devaluation that comes with bpd and all the other terrible negatives make it a serious personality flaw. I feel it is a personality flaw for my world to constantly go from heaven to hell continually especially when I am in love with someone.
Yandere is literally just bpd and Yuno is stereotype of bpd craziness
>>46953> Yandere is literally just bpd and Yuno is stereotype of bpd craziness
Elaborate? I don’t think Yandere is BPD, attachment issues aren’t just a sign of BPD. I’m curious on the thoughts
>>46930>WHY IS NO ONE CONTENT WITH JUST LOVING VANILLA SEX
There's plenty of that. It's all male/male, but I can't help it if you've got no taste.
The rest of your post was too dumb for me to engage with, sorry.
I had a little scream while watching a horror movie and my mom called me a worm, a rat and said that i’m dumb like a cow. It felt great to be insulted like that by your mom.
I should have phrased myself better with that statement sorry.
I personally feel that yandere characters are based on borderline woman which are unstable with some exaggerations although in reality a very small amount of BPD can behave just like a Yandere.
The main point of similarity is they can go from hot to cold which mirrors idolization and devaluation.
Perhaps it would be more proper to say that bpd and yandere share some similarities instead of it literally being the same thing.
The type that give borderline a bad name (explosives) do try to harm their lovers for their own twisted reasons that make no logical sense.
The obsessive nature of Yandere is the same as bpd.
Thank you anons, your kind words still mean a lot. Sorry for the late acknowledgement, I thought I had included it in my other post.>>46901>why would she come back if you are getting married or pregnant
To be completely honest I don't know if she would, it's just those are two pretty big life events that I think would pique her curiosity if they ever happened.
>She used to gaslight me during my worst times for no reason other than for fun? and when you are trying to deal with hallucinations only to catch your mum knocking on your door only to scurry away or invent entire situations that never happened because she thinks you were too drunk to remember it is so confusing. It must have just been fun for her as I had already learnt not to argue and just agree with anything she says about me as if I am spamming chat dialogue in skyrim lol.
Holy shit. My mother used to deny the fact that I was getting bitten by fleas during that whole fiasco, but she never messed with me like that. I am so sorry you had to deal with that anon, I don't even know what to say to that. Your mother is just mean-spirited.
Are you someone who feels compulsed to help and be there for people no matter what they've done in a situation or to you? Or is it just your mother that makes you feel this way?
>Sorry for the ranting… I am really thankful for your message. I like to chat to anons a lot but do not often say much about myself.
Do no be sorry at all, anon. It's good to get these things off of your chest, especially when you can talk with someone who can relate.>>46921>You're justified in feeling any negative emotions that you feel. In the long run, those negative emotions will hurt you too, so you should try to accept what happen by understanding it. Forgiveness isn't necessary, but unless you come to terms with your experiences the negative thoughts will keep having a negative effect.
Thank you anon, this is great advice. I am also sorry to hear about your situation, I am happy that you and your dad were able to come out on top at the end. After all this time it still makes me red-in-the-face levels of angry. Did you have to go to therapy? Or did you realize after a long period of speculation? Regardless, I will keep what you've said in mind.
>>46969>Are you someone who feels compulsed to help and be there for people no matter what they've done in a situation or to you? Or is it just your mother that makes you feel this way?
This will sound very strange and may get me hated but it is honest which is all that counts.
I do try to be helpful and compassionate to people but unless I truly care about them I do not do it for the reasons others would or at least realize.
If I do not truly care about someone I will help if it is to my advantage in some way and this does not mean I am cold to strangers I try to treat everyone well but family I rely on I try to safeguard my parasitic relationship by offering them social interaction etc in return.
I do not hold a grudge and I am sure I would help someone who has hurt me in the past as I have regardless.
I am very isolated and have not had any friends for some time so cannot answer accurately of how I would act now as present me.
Did you get any complications from the fleas?
>>46970>If I do not truly care about someone I will help if it is to my advantage in some way and this does not mean I am cold to strangers I try to treat everyone well but family I rely on I try to safeguard my parasitic relationship by offering them social interaction etc in return.
I get that, OP. I don't hate you for it at all. When I was living with my father and stepmother it was the same way, I put up with them and made peace solely because I was getting something (the roof over my head) out of it. This was despite them being fucking idiots
sometimes. In exchange they got major brownie points amongst the rest of the family for "letting their twenty-five year old move back home." Tit for tat, I suppose. Status in the family means a lot to my Dad so I guess it was a fair exchange for him. Now that I am back to living on my own, I don't hear from them either because we have nothing to gain from one another.
>Did you get any complications from the fleas?
I did, actually. I am very lucky to have not gotten sick at the time of living in that house, but I have a diagonsis of OCD as a result of it. I have dermatillomania, it's basically a body-impulse control disorder where I compulsively pick my skin. Bug bites and any kind of itch are a major trigger for me, and my problem areas are my arms and legs (where fleas tend to bit the most). I believe that the situation in that house is the root cause.
Towards the end of living there I used to get these crazy, intrusive thought about how the fleas were up inside my uterus, laying eggs there, and that was the source of the infestation. I used to obsessively check my pants to make sure there were none there, and even today I get extremely anxious when I see black specks, it's almost muscle memory now to pick them up and squeeze them between my fingernails.
Did your mum even try to fix the flea problem for even the dog?
I hate having infested animals living with me you end up with ticks on you and all sorts!
Have you got scarring from the picking you worry about at all? if you do please try not worry what people think I have scarring from stuff and learnt not to care.
Good thing you got out of there or you would have probably gained extra disorders from living with mum.
It's really hard for me to be out of my house for long periods of time. I really enjoy my time alone/at home. However my bf always wants me to come over and stay with him for weeks. I don't know what to do. I really love him and I want to stay with him for sure, but I feel like I'm breaking apart. Also missing my cat
Oh man I feel this. Whenever I had to go to a sleepover I would feel really homesick. I thought it would get better as I got older but I still feel really homesick whenever I’m away from home for more than a day or two. I don’t know what the solution is. Are you in a LDR?
I hate being stonewalled. Multiple times my boyfriend promises to talk about why he is irritated or feels a certain way on a topic that is important in our relationship (at least, to me) and he rarely, if ever, delivers. He's been promising on working on this for over a year. Meanwhile, I've been working on my BPD and I have improved in areas - I don't self harm anymore, I've been working a lot as of late in how I deal with my triggers and remaining functional despite feeling negative, strong emotions, but I feel like it doesn't matter to him. For him, I feel as if any conflict is bad, no matter how delicately I put it. I apologize for how I think I messed up in expressing myself/communicating during the times I explain an issue, too, but he has never done that of his own accord. I am overwhelmed.
I want an older (28-36 yo) femme lesbian japanese gf so badly. If I was born a man this would be so easy, but I dont know how to find lesbians in Japan irl.
Once again I didn't realize the thread was at the bump limit until I noticed that no one had posted in it for two days.
How hard could it be for the admin to make the number of current posts visible on the thread page?
plastic surgery is painful. I'm not going to reccommend it to every incel anymore as a holy grail fix because it's painful.
Does your BF have experience with mental health?
If he does please try not to worry yourself too much over losing him because of this if you are.
I used to be the same a hardcore hikikomori and the only thing that helped me was exposure but I would still feel as you do now.
It is just comfy to be in your own space by yourself…
Is there any other reasons you dislike some aspects of being at his home or is it purely because you enjoy solitary time??>>46992>I hate being stonewalled.
Anon communication is so so important in a relationship so you have every right to feel irritated by the lack of it on his part.
You are working so hard to improve yourself and unless someone also has BPD they will never understand what it is like so for you to be able to improve is so fantastic.
I don't want to be the type of person to say leave your BF but you need to make it clear to him how important open communication is and what is expected of him..
Good luck anon.>>47017
was it scary to change what you look like? did you feel a sense of disconnect?
no. i wanted the change for a very long time, so i'm glad i finally got it. in my warped mind, this is how i was always supposed to look like. but the recovery is difficult. (not deformed btw, just fixing a very unattractive feature)
My dad is in the rn hospital dying of heart failure and I can’t even visit him bc of covid hospital rules. I would give anything, anything, for this to be different. We just need more time. I hate my life right now so much. Everyone I love dies. I can’t lose him. Fuck this shit. Fuck all this shit. There’s so many things we haven’t got to do yet, it came out of nowhere. Hope every anon hugs the person that means the world to them today, you will deeply deeply deeply regret it when it’s too late. And you won’t know it’s too late, until it’s too late.
I'm sorry this is happening to you anon. Hopefully things will get better
There is no way to try spin this in a positive direction it flat out sucks you are dealing with this right now.
You can chat to e in this thread if you want to vent more about how you feel.
I’m so sorry anon. I’m really wishing the best for you right now. I hope you get to see him somehow in some way. <333
Another day doing nothing but waiting to sleep and feeling uncomfy.
Ayone else just unable to enjoy anything?
>>46969>Did you have to go to therapy? Or did you realize after a long period of speculation? Regardless, I will keep what you've said in mind.
I didn't go to therapy, but it probably would have helped me if I had. I took my own path, but that included a lot of self-inflicted misery that I could have avoided. There's no harm in trying!
wasted most of today trying to get into crypto. bought one coin at a very low price thru coinbase (i can earn it back within the week), went to invest in something that i've been researching all day (it seems pretty solid, might give me wild returns) only to learn that i can't even use what i bought until 3-5 days. wasn't expecting that, because with stocks the money is available to you instantly. now i'm pissed and sad that i'm missing out on the thing i wanted to invest in (by the time my shit goes through it's going to be too late). also my immunization records for university haven't gone through either, and i can't fucking register for classes or apply for scholarships until they go through. so fucking tired.
oh and to top it all off i have to go help my mom with bullshit tomorrow.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK I'M SO FUCKING IRRITATED AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Only as much as any speculative commodity is.
I just found out that a close male friend of mine has been telling his friends and possibly family that I’m his girlfriend.
He spent the weeks before I found out about this creepily making advances on me and telling me he was in love with me.
I’m not even entirely sure why but I feel disgusting and creeped out. Him confessing his unrequited love for me was bad enough, but I feel so uncomfortable knowing how many people thought I was in an intimate relationship with this weirdo.
It's because he lied, you airhead.
I joined a Warhammer Fantasy cosplay group for an upcoming con. Everything was going so well, we are meeting every weekend and hanging out for like 6 straight hours on Friday nights working together. I've come to really like our group and it's the first friendship I've really fit into because I can be a sperg without anyone minding. It was all going so well right up until our warrior priest of Ulric took off his shirt to try on armour and revealed the big Norse tattoo and pendant around his neck. Suddenly some of the slightly discriminatory things he's said make sense and now I'm pretending to be sick and staying home so I don't have to be in the same room as him. Moids ruin everything.
Before you let him ruin something you apparently enjoy very much, are you sure you aren't just reading too much into it? Surely not every guy who's into Norse mythology is some uber-traditional Varg larper.
In this case giving him the benefit of the doubt would directly benefit you.
If I was white, maybe I would, but I won't risk my safety to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Why does it matter if he is a racist etc unless his politics enter your social interactions?
We do not need to agree with someones philosophy to enjoy playing games with them
I am tired of having nothing but being my partners gf whenever I am in his friend circles. Hell, I even get called "x's gf" instead of my actual name.
But now it's worse.
His previous friend circle turned out to be a nice place that ended up treating me like an actual person, not "his girlfriend" even though that took some time. However all of them have moved on with their lives, just like us.
But there is other friend circle that is mainly his sisters circle and he just appears to be there. Thing is, she hates me ever since I married him. She is a highly insecure woman who hates other women in general with a mindset of "tradthots". But the problem there is that she started talking shit about me to their mutual friends and I just know it, because after she started talking to them now, whenever he joins a voicechat with them (without her obviously) they all stopped telling me hi or having a chitchat. She also is trying to convince their brother in law that I am horrible, abusing the thing that he is a kid who only entered teenagehood. I am acting nice and trying to get to know him, but that happens only IRL when she is not with us, when she is with us she makes sure that I am completely isolated from everyone.
But honestly, the worst part is that her "gay bestfriend (who is a straight man who is acting like "sassy" twitter personalities with adhd, joking that he is gay and is obsessed with gossip) keeps showing in my partners face things such as:
" You are not the same ever since you got married " , " You stopped spending time with us after you got married ", " You became a normie after you got married " (ironic enough, they treat Discord like an actual Facebook so them calling others normies is weird). Everything manipulative and negative always in the end implies to me, even though I had no chance to get to know these people from sisters circle more, but I still acted polite and nice around everyone, just to still being treated like "a reason why he is not around", when in reality these people could have always messaged or called him whenever they'd like, instead of whining and messaging him once-twice a year only when they fucking need something.
I do not have any friends IRL ever since I moved out. I cut out my old friends because they all ended up using me and kindness. I just want to be a part of something with my partner instead of having to be in seperate circles because of some tard. I do have my own friend circle, but its a fresh new one. I do wish i could have put my partner there, but its a circle of interests that he is not into.
I also tried to hang out with my close female friend, but she always had full parties in her games or her, being busy with her bf. I am happy for her but I wish I could spend some time with her like before, but it's fine. Just missing her a bit, but not clinging.
That might work for white people but it's best to not risk becoming the victim of a hate crime
>>47237>That might work for white people but it's best to not risk becoming the victim of a hate crime
I think you are overstating the danger.
Someone who is at one of them types of social gatherings is likely not just going to attack anon because they are POC.
if anon doesn't want to be in the company of racists/likely racists she doesn't have to be. that's a reasonable fear and she's not wrong for feeling anxious in their company. what you're saying is not advisable. it's good to err on the side of caution and it drains the fun out of hanging out with any kind of group when you realize one of people you have to hang out with is likely hostile towards you or at least would support someone else being hostile towards you because of something you can't change. how is that fun?
You do make a good point.
What matters is how you feel not anything else so sorry to come off as if I did not consider anons feelings.
My dog will go under surgery tonight. I hope everything goes ok, I don't want her to die. My heart hurts.
want to talk about it?
What is the surgery for anon
I hope your pup will be fine, let us know how it goes anon
mom is making me feel terrible. semi-long, rambly post ahead, but anyway.
basically, she bought a smart tv recently and was super excited to use it…but she doesn't have an internet connection outside of her phone's hotspot (which definitely isn't enough for the hd streaming she wants to do). i've told her this. she didn't listen.
after buying the tv and discovering what i told her was true, she now wants to buy a more stable internet connection. that's cool. however the addresses she gave me (she gave me one on her lease (???) that apparently doesn't even exist, in addition to the address i grew up in, the one i'm most familiar with) have zero offers outside of one-two ridiculously priced packages ($68+ a month for 50 mbps. seems like bull). so i suggest that she asks her neighbors who have internet. she yells at me saying that she doesn't want to ask them and that I only need to look harder (lol). i spend 40 minutes doing this. nothing fucking pops up. tell her to check her address again to ensure it's right and she HANGS UP the phone sounding all dejected, it just pisses me off and depresses me.
if i weren't a poorfag neet (though this should change come spring – the neet bit) i could just invite her to live with me or something. or help in some way.
logically though i'm like. you live ~11 minutes out of the city, ~14 minutes from our largest college. two of your neighbors on your street have an internet connection. stop being retarded and just fucking ask them first, it doesn't matter if they might have cable too. call your goddamn cell provider and see what's going on. do something other than make me feel bad
>>47241>when you realize one of people you have to hang out with is likely hostile towards you or at least would support someone else being hostile towards you because of something you can't change
Yeah, It sure is shitty when people judge others based on their appearance or physical features rather than getting to know them, huh?
Sending good energy to your pup, anon. I hope he will be fine. <3
Yeah, except no one chooses to be black, but you certainly do choose to get a big-ass Norse tattoo and make weird discriminatory comments that set off red flags lol
Why do you want anon to allow herself to be vulnerable around a potentially dangerous scrote so badly? They're bad enough apolitically, when you add in politics, especially racist politics, you're just begging for trouble.
>>47272>Why do you want anon to allow herself to be vulnerable around a potentially dangerous scrote so badly?
All men, all people
are "potentially dangerous." A few microaggressions and a viking tattoo do not a Klan member make.
It seems like in this case her decision to see danger in every possible situation has taken away from her something she was really enjoying, and she is worse off for it. A person can eliminate the most risk possible by never leaving their home as well, but that's no way for most people to live.
Maybe she wasn't all that attached to the group, or she'll be able to find a different group that's all-black or all-female and feel more at home there. If so, more power to her.
I just don't think it's healthy for a person to spend their life looking for reasons to assume that people are monsters.
Who is saying dude's a klan member? If anon doesn't feel comfortable, she doesn't feel comfortable. That's not "looking for reasons". Her gay d&d group is not a necessity.
It's not her job, and people have self preservation and a sense of intuition for a reason. She can find literally any other D&D group that isn't occupied by racists or racist sympathizers. No one said he's a klan member but it's not like racism is at all uncommon, wtf.
Stop gaslighting and acting like racism and racists are rarely encountered. No one has to be around toxic people if they don't want to and can afford not to.>>47267
Thank you anons.
What happened is, my mother gave a piece of chicken to my dog and she swallowed without chewing. She had some serious issues to breath at first but the piece managed to get stuck at the end of her esophagus, it wouldn't go up or down, and it needed to be surgically removed. The vet said it was a tricky operation and took a bit longer than what they expected, but went well overall. I think she'll need to stay at the hospital until tomorrow for observation.
I'm going to visit her later today. I don't think I'll be able to calm down until she's here with me at home.
I do not think that is petty anon at all.
He is a coomer for random woman it is gross
I feel ya pain anon, I don't really have my own circle of friends I'm always just an outsider in someone else's circle but luckily I've never had an experience where someone has directly tried to push me out. Perhaps it's best to distance yourself from the sister's friend circle temporarily so that hopefully they'll forget and move on from the gossip and in the meanwhile try and gain some confidence talking with your new circle so you won't feel as insecure and reliant on them liking you next time you interact. This may very well be shit advice though so feel free to take it with a grain of salt lol.
My dog died. She was in so much pain. I wish it happened to me instead of her. She didn't deserve this.
This was the last straw for me I can't keep going anymore. I don't want to watch my other pets die too
I lost all my friends except my best friend. Yesterday I discovered she's been seeing my ex friends (and ex boyfriend too) without telling me anything about it. I feel so betrayed, fuck that bitch.
So she was supposed to only hang with you? lmao
I'm working on a paper for school and I know I'll turn it in at some point tonight. I"m kind of enjoying trying on it, so I'm not too worried I'll turn it in an hour or so late. It's a little hard concentrating because I agreed to go on vacation with my family (which I rarely ever do anymore), but it's been pleasant hear my family having fun in the background and I guess I feel these weird happy, fuzzy feelings inside even though things aren't perfect with my boyfriend right now, either (though we're working things out).
I suppose this is how I know my antipsychotic/antidepressant/mood stabilizer cocktail with DBT is working, lol. Stupid little things like this make me happy.
yo i get these little rushes when i listen to my fav parts of songs i like lol
feel so alone and never apart of anything and just the funny person to throw out, yet repulsed by anyone who tries to come close to me.
wish i could attach normally and feel like i havent wasted all my childhhood/teenager years because i was either a stupid shy anxious bitch or less anxious but gross and ugly bitch.
I finished and I'm getting ready for bed, feels good anon. I'm glad you get those little feelies, too
I've been best friends with my housemate since I was 17. He's brilliant, but so incredibly depressed and suicidal. I've always helped him and didn't realise how much enjoyment and pleasure I got out of being the one person he needs to keep his life together. Now he's taking meds, he doesn't need anything from me and is so much more productive. In the last week he made me a new computer desk, as he's known how crappy mine for years. Not once has he ever been able to make time for something like that before.
While I'm so happy that he's finally happy and able to function, I'm realising just how much I need him to need me. It's pathetic and I just want to cry or get a cat.
There is an invisible wall between me and other people. I don't even have friends in real life, pandemic made it even worse. People find me annoying since primary school, I was bullied, outcasted and the only person I have ever loved dumped me during my depressive state before my very important exams. I hate myself and even if I died, people wouldn't bat an eye and would still talk shit about me.
I keep avoiding people and social situations irl despite really wanting to go there. Every time some opportunity comes up my brain immediately thinks of ways to get me out of there, but then I retroactively realize that may not have been the best idea. I am so tired of being like this.
That's disappointing, tho I feel you anon. Had a guy I was friends with that was seemingly so sweet, but he turned out to be just another porn addict. It's not petty, why spend your time around someone that shallow?
I hate how I can no longer enjoy Axel because English voice actor, Quinton Flynn is a creep. I also hate myself by getting turn on by the audio that was leaked. I don't know how to handle the information. Men shouldn't be encouraged to be predatory. Plus they're stupid to think in 2020 they wouldn't get called out and their stuff leaked.
Why not talk to other members about it? I think guys are easily swept up in the language of small communities so he may not actually be racist. Like, my brother is 14 and is already spouting all this "tranny" talk despite not even really knowing what one is (has an ftm cousin he adores).
Wait what happened? What did he do?
Idk how old you are but most people don't have sex in high school anymore
If you're not American and under the age of 20 dont comment. High school isn't an early 00s Stacy chad comedy anymore. Moids are all too autistic and hypnotized by video games and drugs and porn to actually ask anyone out anymore
He was caught simping cosplayers and sending some very inappropriate stuff and some of his voice messages was leaked.
i told my ex who won't stop texting me that i'm in love with him and now he can stop texting me.
i hope he will get disgusted by it and stop writing whenever he feels insecure/horny. i know men hate genuine feelings of affection and the idea of commitment
There was also that one time he licked a cosplayer's thigh. There's a picture of it too, iirc.
Aw what the hell? That's still not gonna stop me from liking the characters he's voiced but damn I thought he was better than that. Why can't men be normal?
he cheated on you and then wants you to be the one to make it up to him? break up with him and get an actual real life boyfriend anon internet relationships are nothing but retarded
Yes, that's me. You sound over 20 and completely detached from reality. Where did you go to school? People were dating from freshman/sophomore year at mine.
word to the wise, he probably doesn't actually care that much, he just knows what you said is shitty, that you're aware it can be hurtful, but is using it as a way to twist you to feel guilty and owe HIM after he cheated on you. i've experienced this a lot before. they lie about how much it "hurts" them so they can turn the issue back around on you
I'd say cheating is more toxic than having an emotional response to betrayal
I don't think that matters because boys and men will be pedos regardless.
Life is consistently so depressing and dull and boring. Even if I do experience the good times, the bad times are always right there…and they always return. I feel bad for thinking this way when there are billions doing even worse than me, but shit man. I want to experience a solid month where my joys aren't mere distractions from a long-running, serious issue.
So he cheats on you and you get explosively mad at him (as you should, that's a pretty normal reaction to have) and you still stay with his crusty ass? Please leave him. The one benefit to e-relationships is that you can just hit the block button and move on and not have to deal with irl repercussions, unless he's nuts enough to meet you in person.
Just by reading this I can tell he's a loser. Lol at "wants to get revenge on me" what the heck….. Love yourself some more anon.
All i want is a 30 year old average looking guy with a dad bod who works at an office and loves me more then anything so i can stay at home and make him cute meals and raise our kids FUCK please bro please
We love an anon with realistic goals. I want an ultracapable lumberjack landlord husband who also has a mildly successful underground metal project who will let me be an autistic neet that he keeps alive.
cannot even begin to explain my disgust for whatever the hell both of you just wrote
hELL YEA vargposting time
Anyway I'm frustrated about communication fanboys who make you read paragraph after paragraph on their introspective reflections and then act as though this entitles them to your complete trust after they screw something up because they're uwu communicating. I had two exes like that and it was so exhausting, it sapped away all my life energy. These are the same people who think every incompatibility can be solved by talking about it and so if I don't want to be with them I'm just not communicating well.
I used to accept the whole communication is key and no one is a mind reader thing, and sure, some relationship problems are just honest misunderstandings where it helps to talk things through, but the older I get the better I understand how much communication is just used for manipulation and making elaborate excuses for an actual lack of care or competence. Not necessarily even consciously, it's just that anyone can spend arbitrary amounts of effort to phrase things in a way that makes it seem as though their intentions were good, they can even believe it themselves, but you can predict it will never translate to actions. I'm sick of pretending you can just negotiate for things like sexual desire when you don't feel wanted by your partner and receive anything like the real thing.
This post was sponsored by r/relationship_advice
If you're lazy and unambitious it's fine, but don't make out like you're choosing to be "trad" or whatever. You just like baking and hate working.
I have a painful canker sore in my mouth and it hurts to swallow
I don't see anything wrong with what they posted. What's there's to be disgusted?
In favor of Thanksgiving, I wish I can do something to show my love and support to the Native Americans. My heart really does bleed for all the injustices that happened and keep happening to them. How their struggles and fights are still ongoing and unheard by large majority of society. I hate how it isn't exclusively a American thing to treat the originals so poorly but almost a globally thing. Other countries treat the original inhabitants like shit. I understand the plights of other ethnicities but something about seeing how Native Americans are treated from the past to TODAY really hits me hard. Even harder then BLM, I'm sorry. They can hardly afford necessities, medical care, food and water Some reservations don't even have basic plumbing. I wish I can have all the money to give them but I'm broke as shit and can't even afford rent. There's no excuse why Americans still treat them like this.
Unfortunately it's also an issue of corruption as a result of the generational trauma. Even if tribes/bands were given the resources to fix the problems, more powerful families may not use it as intended. I know because my own damn family is like this on our tiny reservation, which is tragic since our traditional culture has generosity ingrained in it.
And let's not even get started on the CSA and addiction. My own father was a shit person, but I can barely blame him because of his horror story of a childhood. And his OWN shitty childhood was caused by his mother being traumatized in residential school, thus being a poor mom. At this point we're just perpetuating the abuse on top of being shit on by white government.
That said, there are also a lot of young Indigenous people who are waking up and trying to break the cycle. I'm hopeful for the future.
If you want to do something small you can definitely support Indigenous owned businesses. There's everything from art to makeup brands, and there's more of a guarantee it's money going to someone trying to escape the cycle of abuse/addiction/suicide.
And please keep speaking about it! Like you said, most people are ignorant to it (some even think we're all dead) and nothing will get done if the majority doesn't know there's an issue.
It's so completely ridiculous to care about Native Americans. It's their fault they never advanced. It's their fault they never got over their petty differences and came together to actually form a people of America. It's their fault they didn't have anything comparable to the rest of the world at that time. When they were given guns amongst the first things they did was to kill all the tribes they had warred with. They were not some enlightened people, and the settlers have no blame on their hands for if not them it just would have been the people from Spain [and whom would have been a lot less gracious]. Speaking of "people", they weren't a people. It's all so dishonest. They were literally so divided we can genetically single out the vast majority of them. Wikipedia says there are 574 federally recognized tribes. Utter nonsense. Even this->They can hardly afford necessities, medical care, food and water Some reservations don't even have basic plumbing.
…is their own fault for not integrating into America at large. What use is your pride if it ends up making you end up like this?>>47566
You're apart of the problem. You're not a Native American, just as anyone else born there isn't whatever color they are. You're Americans. It's all nonsense racism bullshit, and you're infecting the rest of the world with it. Everyone keeps trying to ethically divide American and for some reason everyone keeps playing into it.
What's with the hate?
Groups of people being separated in one county isn't new, look at every country in the world. Even England and Greece start out as waring tribes. There's plenty of examples.
And it isn't just a American thing to treat the originals like shit, it's a global thing, from Canada to Denmark to China and the list goes on.
So it turns out the guy who I thought was my "bf" was actually scamming and making fun of me for months. I haven't even noticed because of how stupid I am. It was my first romantic experience and I have no idea what to do now. I'm too ashamed to tell anyone about it.
It is better to have loved and learned than to have never loved at all, dear anon… Just be more careful next time.
>>47577>you're not Native American>race is FAKE
Anon really ended racism in North America…
We were specifically discussing U.S. Thanksgiving, which provides the context of U.S. race relations and perceptions. So it is relevant in the conversation even if the concept of race is different in your culture. A social construct still exists despite being intangible. Countries are also fake but saying so doesn't mean you can expect to easily travel across borders without a passport.
I also agree with the spirit of your opinions in my own post. We absolutely are fucked up. Like I said, my own family is shitty. And I agree that Indigenous people can only progress if we actually work hard, move off rez, and stop relying on government gibs (hence recommending anon support businesses if she wants to throw her money somewhere). But I do believe a good chunk of us can do that. The pride doesn't need to be dropped, just modified.
And I'm doing that myself, so why am I the problem? I have a job and am attending post-secondary using money I earned.
Is it because I care about other Natives? I suppose it is in-group bias. I also care more about women than men.
Or is it because I encouraged anon to care, too? She can have compassion for people suffering, even if some people in that group are assholes. It's her choice.
And if you're from another continent, it's fine. I'm not forcing you to engage either. It's just nice when people do care.
Race isn't fake, race doesn't matter. You're LITERALLY a racist.>Countries are also fake but saying so doesn't mean you can expect to easily travel across borders without a passport.
Because, I dunno, they're not fake? There are entire cultures that exist within them. Cultures matter, race does not, and Native American culture is bad. Very, very bad. 574 tribes? That is insane. There's only 87 peoples in the entirety of Europe. Native Americans could not be more divided. Even if you counted them all ethnically as one, what sort of a messed up culture is that? I know America is big, but good god.
Sorry if I'm coming off as a bitch, but I am not aware of a more egregious example of a failed group. It bugs me a lot. At least some Hawaiian islands never technically surrendered and are open to litigation.
What is your ideal for Native Americans then, since you mentioned it bugs you a lot? Is there any point in trying to better if we're all failures?
>>47593>What is your ideal for Native Americans then
Be Americans. What you do right now isn't even segregation, it's beyond that. You're not living together but living apart, you literally have your own nations. It's so fucking stupid.
In the UK there is constant bitching about Wales and Northern Ireland splitting off from England. These insignificant blots on the map unironically think they can stand on their on two feet. They can't. What exports? What military? What industry at all? The parallels to the Native Americans are staggering. It just came to my head, but it's also like Cuba is to America. They want all the benefits but not the rules. What use are your own rules or pride if they result in you failing? It would have unironically been more moral that the early Americans never gave Native Americans the option to not integrate because right now they live by lesser standards.>Is there any point in trying to better if we're all failures?
Anyone can improve. Is this not America's whole thing? But Native Americans would rather live by their own rules and have kids and families that live to a lesser standards because of it. And that's what bugs me, cruelty born out of pride.
i dont know what to do right now. i love my boyfriend but i live with him and recently moved cross-country for him, so hes all i have. all he wants to ever do when he isnt working is sit at his computer. he never wants to take a little walk with me, or study for his permit, or brush his teeth and hes horrible at managing his money while telling me he doesnt want me to work because its less time together. am i being unreasonable? should i not care and just worry about myself? i want him to better himself because i care but if i ask him nicely he gets angry and shoos me away. also i dont want to marry someone with no teeth. i just see this being a huge obstacle in the future because he has no drive and its rubbed off on me.
in addition hes 20 and im 19, so maybe he just needs time to mature? i try to be proud that he works but hes been calling out like 2-3 days a week lately…he just wants to sit at his computer and mess around but i wish he was more responsible and motivated. again i love him dearly but i dont know if i can be with him forever? i like to do things away from my computer sometimes and wish i had a partner to do it with me. even a 30 minute walk! its scary doing it alone because im new to the area still. god maybe i should just stop caring :(
Buyer's remorse, huh? What were you expecting from him, Anon?
>>47597>In the UK there is constant bitching about Wales and Northern Ireland splitting off from England. These insignificant blots on the map unironically think they can stand on their on two feet. They can't. What exports? What military?
If you look at South Sudan who did manage to split off from Sudan, the military usually comes before a civil war. So yes, I suppose if you are saying "Scotland and Northern Ireland are not prepared for a civil war yet" they are in no position to become their own country. That's kind of the thing though, these things take time, and furthermore, I am uncertain how much the denizens would prefer civil war to a peaceful segregation. >What industry at all?
You don't need industry to be a nation. Look at the majority of Africa. Unless your point is that Scotland and Ireland specifically need industry, as some Native American reservations have oil fracking resources that would make them as likely a candidate to be their own country as the majority of African ones are.>Cuba is to the US
You wot m8? Cuba isn't a territory of the US and didn't even have trade relations with them until recently.
>>47591>race is fake but culture is not fake
What created the culture in the first place?>Sorry if I'm coming off as a bitch, but I am not aware of a more egregious example of a failed group.
This is white man's burden tier thinking. How can a group "fail"? You feel bad that Native Americans in the US are poverty stricken, but I imagine you couldn't give single fuck about, say, the indigenous people deep in the Amazon that are living in abject poverty. If a culture decides and functions in a lower tier of civilization, who are you to say they are a "failure"?
Not that anon but>What created the culture in the first place?
The geography and circumstances of the place and time it developed in.
Not race, if that's what you're implying. If Asian people had lived in the Mediterranean they'd probably have ended up being huge homos and living in warring city states just like the Greeks did.
>>47605>The geography and circumstances of the place and time it developed in.
You stated this as if this wasn't what created race too. If anything I guess you could argue that geography and circumstances created both the races and the cultures I suppose.
>>47603> You feel bad that Native Americans in the US are poverty stricken,
Kek, I don't think anon has ever said she/he feels bad for Native Americans. It's pretty clear she/he feels basically nothing for disdain for people who have had no hand in the position they've been born into. She/he's a nut that can't or won't feel sympathy for impoverished descendants because… there was (unsurprisingly) intertribal conflict before and after the Europeans arrived?
idk anon, my bf is 22 and he is pretty mature and has plans of working hard and having a family. I don't know if you can suddenly "grow up" and become mature.
It kinda sounds like your bf is depressed. Depressed people find it hard to do simple tasks like brushing their teeth and want to spend all day distracting themselves to forget the pain.
But regardless of that, it's never a good idea to be 100% financially dependant on someone. You don't know what's gonna happen in the future, so you should def get a job for that reason alone. And when a guy sees his gf starts having a social life unrelated to him, he usually starts being more committed and engaged in her life.
>>47604>You feel bad that Native Americans in the US are poverty stricken
Not at all. What I care about is the cruelty that rises from dishonesty. The abject poverty isn't good, but it wouldn't be an issue if they were honest about the cause. There are tribes of far-off Alaskan Natives who live in even worse but they do so honestly.>who are you to say they are a "failure"?
Someone who knows objective meaning exists. The most diverse landmass on the planet, and they couldn't even invent the wheel.>>47603>Cuba isn't a territory of the US
Cuba was a protectorate of the US from 1898 to 1902.>>47607
I won't feel bad for them because they have every possible advantage they could avail themselves to but they won't because their culture and race are more important to them. They're prideful, idiot racists and deserve to be shamed for it.
>>47611>Cuba isn't a territory of the US>Cuba was a protectorate of the US from 1898 to 1902.
I need you to read that again, just say those exact words which you wrote out loud to yourself.
It's more complicated than that. Don't want to get into it further.
This is code for "I am literally retarded and confused Puerto Rico for Cuba."
Please explain how the Cuban missile crisis occurred if Cuba was a territory of the US.
>>47611>claims objective measures exist
<states that race doesn't exist but culture does
What a fucking position to take Jesus Christ.
Hnnnghhh I'm so lucky to have a skinny, tol, brown, bishounen bf, he's so hot
I've been so ridiculously horny lately that it's beginning to interfere with my daily life. I have to leave a room because the thoughts about wanting to be pounded becomes overwhelming and I need to relieve myself before I can continue with whatever task I was trying to complete. I don't even watch or look at porn, jsyk.
This was kinda hilarious at first but now it's become a real problem.
it's been like this for about the last two months. It's been gradual, but it's reached its peak around that time period.
When I'm ovulating it escalates to the point that I've prepared a schedule wherein I finish extra work ahead of time so I can just take it easy for my downtime.
>i hate myself
Why anon? Do you think that breaking up was your fault entirely?
You have to be over 18 to post here.
I've literally stated in this thread that race exists but doesn't matter. In the medical sense, sure, but not when it comes to ideology.
promise of wizard.
red haired guy - mithra.
blond guy - rutile
I made a response to a vent thread a bit back about how I've never enjoyed any sexual activity I've been in up to this point-even with guys I loved, and I wondered if I'd enjoy it if it involved women.
Well, I've been. "Experimenting" lately. And I'm terrified. Horrified, even. The idea of being with a woman scares me half to death but I also want it beyond reason. I feel disgusted with myself. I think I'm no different from predatory straight men for being attracted to women but I can't deny it anymore.
How are you predatory like men for just for wanting to be with women? If you're actually a disgusting skeaze, okay, that's male-like, but same sex attraction is healthy, does not have to be perverted, and not necessarily male-like at all
Some male escorts can do oral-only service, but if the fact that it'd be a man will make you too uncomfortable then you can go for a girl who'll service girls. Good escorts appreciate being briefed on the situation, so explaining beforehand to either the guy or gal you hire what the deal is will help a lot. Escorts who offer boyfriend/girlfriend experience are usually a lot better at making you comfortable and feeling out your boundaries, so try looking for that.
>>47702>anyone being attracted to women is automatically predatory
Geez. It sounds like you might just have a case of the gay (repressed type) plus some other issues. If you're attracted to girls then coming to terms with it might help the other issues shake out too.
Yeah, I know for a fact it's extremely irrational and even though I tell myself that, I can't help but feel that way cause of trauma bs.
I'll have to get over that before I even think about getting in any kind of romantic relationship with a woman
That makes sense. Good idea to get all that resolved first, good luck anon.
>there’s literally thousands of regular college girls in my city doing escorting on the side now, it’s kinda weird
>I wouldn’t wanna be alone in a room with a 35 year old meth addicted gigolo let alone let him inside my pussy.
Sensible. Most male escorts are gay for pay and outside of major cities you'll not find any male escort who isn't a basic rent boy.
There is such a thing as a sexual surrogate, who are trained to help people work through sexual trauma or hangups, but those usually only work with licensed therapists, I've no idea how you'd go about getting one, and you're not seeking their services as part of a treatment plan so I don't know.
Keep in mind you're probably going to want a girl who's experienced with girls. Check their reviews if you can find them to see if other women have used their services and what they say. A college girl who's getting fucked on the side for extra money probably isn't going to be able to give you what you need. Finding a specialist lesbian escort is probably out of the question for you, but it might help.
How do I keep going knowing that I'll never touch my cat's cute little nose again? How long will it take to stop hurting?
wish i was rich and pretty and feminine. also wish i knew jpn and could draw, and was also good at math and programming.
at least i started jpn recently.
that's a lot for one person miner…
Also being good at math will only help you in landing a soulless job, or an insecure barely paying one, no inbetween. It's not the greatest skill investment to make
I wish I wasn't so bad at socializing.
same, anon. my social anxiety is so bad to the point that i'm uncontrollably awkward. i just wish it would stop.
I'm able to socialize perfectly fine, but I get no enjoyment out of it and I wish I did.
I don't think I really even have any friends.
I want to vomit. My sister's bf asked to pay me for my nude or lewd photos. I was too damn polite in how I let him down. I hate this. It disgusts me. It makes me lose my faith even further in men.
I wish I hung up the phone or some shit. I declined obviously and told him he needs to redirect his fantasies. He has a kid with my sister which complicates how I feel I should react to this.
She deserves to know. If he's brazen enough to hit up the sister of the mother of his fucking child, he's no doubt been hitting on other women.
agreeing with the post above, anon, your sister deserves to know, but depending on your relationship with the sister it can go south
please don't delete his messages and record your calls if he ever dares to call again with the same shit, so you could have solid proof for your sister
I hate to be the one to say this anon, but depending on the kind of relationship your sister has with your boyfriend he may end up turning the tables and blame you for goading him, somehow. it of course depends on the kind of person she is, your relationship with her etc. etc. tread carefully, even if you do tell her this she may not break up with him then.
I think she will blame him, but it might fracture my relationship with her in that we will not be close again and we are quite close except that in our childhood, she would accuse me of "stealing" friends (if I made friends with anyone she was friends with) and hobbies, and she regularly tells me I'm prettier than her which sometimes feels awkward especially since her bf told me the reason why he asked for my nudes and such is because he sees me as a "sluttier" version of her (she does not dress up or wear makeup like I do and she apparently does not wear lingerie).
If she didn't have a kid with him, I'd tell her straight up. But it kills me she has a kid with him. Plus, I don't think we'd be the same. She never wanted us in the same room even though I've never been interested in him and me and him and me would only barely say anything to each other. The reason he got my number was because he'd call me to talk to her to calm her down when she'd want to commit suicide at his house. I blocked him on sc because I thought it was weird he added me on there, and I would listen to him talk about his relationship and then report to my sister (since she's the one I'm obviously loyal to). I never liked him from day 1 and always told her he was trouble, and I thought maybe I'd be able to help her in that way. But of course, I made things worse.
I’m having violent fantasies about harming my abusive groomer pedo ex (uh, in minecraft) Luckily I have a lot of self control and no desire to go to jail over some worthless scrote, but I’m having vivid dreams each night about going Jodi Arias on his ass, I want to see him suffer and die (in minecraft).
I think that’s completely normal given the past there. Obviously don’t act on it, it’s not worth it tbh. But your feelings are valid.
I hope you have had therapy since, or are planning to, and I hope you are working towards your hobby and/or career goals <3
same minus the minecraft bit ngl
>go on tiktok/instagram
>see dozens of teenage Stacies with perfect bodies and supermodel faces
>literally seems like there’s millions of them cropping up everywhere now
>feel insanely jealous at knowing I can never compete with them
>even if I got a bf he would resent me for not looking like one of them and fap to them constantly
>cry and lay in bed for 20 hours contemplating suicide
I thought these feelings would go away after a few years. They haven’t.
Imma just post my wild ride here because my ex browses /adv/, also not sure if thread worthy. Ok so I loved my ex fiancé so much. Our relationship was trash but I’ve been in so many relationships that were just as bad if even worse. Loved him enough to stay with him and work things out because I deeply cared about him. He cheated on me but promised he would change and work on things with me. For example, letting me see his phone history, bank history, laptop history. I also worked for apple and knew a little app data trick where I can see when he installs apps. He stopped cheating so I settled my mind into accepting that happened in the past. The only thing I could never break through was that he lied to me so we did fight about that topic quite often.
Later down the road quarantine happens. We felt way happier being home together. He lands a stay at home job and I saved up enough money for rent that can last us over a year. We were in the middle of the lease it all made sense. I use to be a streamer and still had a fan base. I asked him if it was okay if I streamed so we could have extra cash juuuust in case an emergency comes up. I told him what to expect, guys hitting on me, and I would have to join voice calls with my discord, and I would have to dm people a lot and befriend them so they will come back to my channel. I made it clear it’s not safe to tell people I have a fiancé. He agreed that I could do that. I then wait 6 months and ask him time to time if he was okay with this plan or if he changed his mind. I really wanted to make sure. He said yes it’s okay every time. I also made sure he was aware of any sketchy messages I got. I didn’t hide anything from him
So I start my stream. I took it seriously and I had fun with it. A month later he starts fighting with me over everything I told him to expect. Started saying that I didn’t find him attractive, I’m going to replace him with my simps, I don’t spend enough time with him or that I’m doing steaming as revenge against his cheating. So I try to appease him, cut my schedule in half, I start ignoring people’s messages or game invites, and I try to spend more time with him by watching anime, playing games with him, or being in a discord call with him while in separate rooms. He later said to me “it’s me or the steam” I felt kinda crushed by this because it’s a hobby I enjoy. I don’t really enjoy talking to so many people because it’s stressful but I love the fact that I can just do art and control the whole aspect of what I want my stream to be. Fought over that a little bit and I even offered to quit streaming. He said that I shouldn’t stop streaming because it makes me happy and he will ignore his pain. Eventually me and him compromised, I get over the cheating and he gets over the streaming. I agreed but then he started to ignore me a lot.
This would spark up fights. I felt confused and heart broken because he was always in a sour mood. He started saying things like “well you ignored me all the time!” “You’re manipulating me!!” And then he began breaking up with me and getting back with me the same day. I think I’ve done that a few times to him when he would treat me like shit when I asked to talk about the lying. But I apologized and realized how fucked that was. It later evolved into fights every single day, and breaking up and getting back together everyday multiple times a day. I suffer from PTSD, as a young teen I was abused by a pedophilic ex who would make me cut in order for him to forgive me and not break up with me. That Ex did the same thing with the constant breaking up and getting back together and made me self harm.
I felt disgusting, I relapse after 4 years. I told him I felt gross and was scared I’d be abandoned by him over these silly fights. He held me tightly and said he wouldn’t leave me or abandon me. A few days later he gets in another fight with me. He said he was going for a drive and would be back. But he got a hotel room, called the police on me and told them to make sure I didn’t kill myself. Cops showed up saw my arms and brought me to the hospital for a few days.
During those few days my ex’s mom drove out, helped him pack up everything. He told me while in the hospital he was leaving me and moving away. He made arrangements with my family to have me move in with them. That’s across the country.
Simultaneously during the break up my ex is telling me he loves me still and that he thinks we should get therapy and try our relationship again within a year and a half. He told me he wasn’t interested in talking to other people and didn’t want to get into anymore relationships or have sex until he gets therapy as well. He messages me everyday, telling me he loves me at the end of the conversation. He is listening to all the music I showed him and he sends me videos of my favorite types of animals or memes. This just made my heart ache worse.
Yesterday, my friend finds him on tinder. We also find an Instagram account he recently created. She liked him to see if he will say anything to her. I know we are broken up but I asked him about the Instagram account and the only girl he is following. I told him to just communicate with me, I won’t be mad if he was searching for others I just needed to know so I can clear my mind and move on. He said “don’t worry about it okay?” Ok fair, I understand. But then he said he’s not using tinder or any dating app.
I don’t love him anymore. The lying once again. I feel strange but I feel happy that I found this out because I can finally end the heart ache. I feel like I can finally move on. It’s going to be hard to get over instantly of course but I’m finally in the mindset of moving on.
So if anyone read this and you have tips for moving on quickly I would appreciate it a lot. Also what the fuck is wrong with him?
TFW I will never have a high femme witch gf……
Keep promoting yourself and making money with the streaming thing, ghost your piece of shit ex for good (he cucked you on purpose to induce a feeling of insecurity in you btw, classic narc shit) start valuing yourself more, get another boyfriend who helps you forget about your ex. Vet guys better at the beginning and cut them off early if their values conflict with yours or you see red flags.
I love my boyfriend so much. I love him as a person. I respect him and care for him and wish only the best for him. But does he respect me? Is my love only respect and lust? Well can't I adore someone who is so interesting? Can't I want to make him love me? Or is that love shallow? Is changing myself to fit him shallow? Is making this all ride on his reactions shallow? Changing my body, and worse, not changing the things I think he wouldn't want me to, isn't that shallow? Am I losing a bit of myself in all this infatuation? Is it not infatuation or escapism? My dream daddy dom prince charming. How ridiculous to think life would even be worth living in Disneyland. Life is a disappointment and a struggle and nothing you ever dream of comes true, and all people are broken. You can't fix them. That's a better way to think. But I love him and I'd rather die at forty than to get old without someone to love.
Idk about the other stuff but I avoid ‘’’’’daddy doms’’’’’ like the plague bc 99% of the time they have NPD and most of them are pedos too.
i dont know if this is the right place and i dont want to come off as whiny or blab on and say too much but i really need some advice on my situation.
i have always struggled with mental issues (ptsd, anxiety, depression, eating disorder) since i was really young and ive always went through bouts of depression and good months etc. early summer i got a fulltime job to save up and move with my boyfriend. during the job i was pretty tired often but i had a lot more mental clarity and actually enjoyed my time off. moving with my boyfriend he told me he made enough where i could just neet or focus on school. it was nice the first couple of months (sept/oct) and i would focus on hobbies, go on walks with him, go to the stores…i loved it! fast forward to now i am sleeping 16 hours a day, gained 6 pounds, and i barely have energy or motivation. i have so much brain fog and lack creativity.
this is my first winter as i recently moved from a state with no winters, is this how it just…is? people stay inside? am i overreacting? i have no routine or set sleep schedule. i would like to try to get better without having to get a job as its nice to have free time to clean and focus on hobbies and for when i start school, but i cant even do that anymore.
i see my psychiatrist again next month but im not really a fan of ssris as they have never worked for me in addition to the weight gain. i just dont know how to help myself because i dont want to burden my mother or boyfriend or reach out to some friends. i miss being warm and positive and creative, but im just wasting my days now. should i hold off until i begin school and suck it up? would a part time job really help? i worry because of my anxiety but i know being forced to keep busy for 8 hours 3 days a week or so could help greatly. im just worried of the interaction with others and commitment. i could also do that in addition to two online classes and im sure id still have time to relax or clean or get back into my hobbies.
any input im so thankful for. i just miss who i was but i dont know what to do or where to start, neet or employed.
I fucked up a relationship with a guy I liked. He wanted to cut off from me for some time and I don't think I can fix it at all. He was literally the only person I found attractive since my last relationship and at this rate I will probably stay single for years. Jesus, why am I like this.
I would try out the part time job, as much as neetdom seems like the ultimate goal I think we romanticise the idea a lot when we actually attain it (at least in my experience) it feels like a very pointless existence I guess because you can feel like you don’t have a purpose in life. Also having that bit of your own money and independence can raise your confidence a little. Jobs will always have sucky moments which might stress you out but you also might meet some cool new coworkers and have a wholesome moe experience, regardless I hope you feel better soon anon :)
me and my bf are too straight forward and lack the basic nice traits, such as consideration, carefulness. We were both raised by neglectful parents so that explains a bit. But its just a constant back and forth thing. We have a hard time admitting to things but once we do, we have gone through a lot. Its tiresome and im sick of dealing with it. But I know it's my fault as well.
How the fuck do you have a boyfriend ? Damn I pity him.
Start working out at some place other than your home. I don't care if it's running, pumping iron, tennis or sword fighting. Get some exercise so your body actually recognizes it needs to do things. This is not a "just force yourself" to exercise statement, this is a "find something you enjoy doing for exercise and just force yourself to do the thing you enjoy". Did you like trampolines as a kid? Go jumping on trampolines. Did you like soccer? Go find somewhere to play soccer.
If that doesn't work after a month of succesfully consistently actually getting a workout, try adderall.
If that doesn't work stop taking adderall and after two weeks take LSD.
If you give up on the thought of having a boyfriend and relationships, you will stop feeling this way. Focus on your hobbies and skills, friends and pets. Make your appearance the very last thing you care about.
>>48134>a streamer with simps settles for cheating /adv/ dweeb
Women just have no standards and it's so sad. This is the state of the world for women and people are incredulous when women expect more.
>>48134>For example, letting me see his phone history, bank history, laptop history. I also worked for apple and knew a little app data trick where I can see when he installs apps.
You do realize that by doing all that shit, you never trusted him in the first place, right? You should have ended the relationship at that point.
You should at least research the anatomy so you know which direction to cut and where.
If you cut that deep you'll almost certainly sever important muscles and tendons if you do it wrong, not to mention potential blood loss.
Fixing it would be expensive, assuming you don't want to be disabled as well as disfigured.
I understand this more than you could ever know but please seek psychological treatment. Idk if it helps but this is too far and you deserve better whether you want to believe it or not.
i used to be terrified of men, i used to think "women would never do what men have done to me". and then the girl i trusted the most, my best friend, raped me. now i kind of just wish i was dead
Awful. Enjoy being called a liar and a scrote for saying this.
i was intoxicated, barely conscious. she felt guilty afterwards and i tried to play it off like it was nothing but i still feel like shit
i don't want to go into details, i feel gross and i wish i could forget it ever happened
but rape isn't always violent. if you have sex with someone who can't consent that's rape
job is making me anxious, cant sleep and stay awake for hours
looking for a new job and hope to land one soon
The unfortunate reality is that most people in general are terrible.
>tfw only 22, and I have deep nasolabial folds, dry skin, and undereye wrinkles and bags
i look like pic related and im supposed to be in my prime
i don't know how much of it is poor diet, but i feel look like shit
"feel look like shit" thats another thing - i have absent-minded, grandma dementia brain. i don't know how much of it is anorexia/poor diet, but i wanna kmsssssssssssssss
the incels are poisoning my mind
What happened? Can this fuckup be fixed?
This sounds hot to me though, anon. I'm sure you still look young, just with character. Not every hot woman is some uwu baby-faced bitch. Keep strutting on, anon.
it could be that your skin is chronically dehydrated or a result of skin damage from the sun? you can reverse it to some extent but honestly it's not a big deal except to psychotic men who have no real problems in life and want to find problems where they dont exist in women bc sour grapes>>48263
this, too. i see a lot of young people with wrinkles, it's not even abnormal. i see 16 yos with fine lines on their foreheads and a little bit of crepe on their eyes, it's normal especially given that tanning is so popular
All right, I'll bite:
According to the doctor earlier this year I was essentially pregnant with my own waste.
Seriously, it was building up in my stomach due to stress related issues (regardless of their origin, not that the worst of these past few years helped) and I needed four different kinds of meds to help it flow out of my body properly.
Classy, I know. -.-
I looked like someone in my 30's or older when I was your age, and like your pic when I smiled because of dry skin and harsh acne treatments. I also got sucked into the whole redpill school of thought and was sure I was already too haggard for anyone to find me attractive. I'm late twenties now, my wrinkles are obviously deeper lmfao, but I got over all that after fixing my social anxiety and recently landed a really cool bf with whom I have insane chemistry who tells me all the time I'm the sexiest.
Among well-adjusted and sane people (yes, even men) being fun to be around and socially charismatic will make you sexier than a youthful face. Incel looks standards are for soulless people, girls like that look hot in photos but don't inspire the same type of desire as someone who behaves in a playfully sexy or otherwise personable way. Even normie level confident charisma isn't needed, e.g. a shy but quirky personality works just as well. Most importantly, don't give any time to incel adjacent guys, that's a surefire way to mess things up and ruin your self-confidence. Also stop reading that material, I know it's addictive but it objectively isn't true.
I hate how I can't find the relationship issue thread. I looked but I couldn't find it, I must be blind.
How am I going to find a girl to sleep with my boyfriend?
Tinder seems more of a meme then a legitimate answer. And how would I go about that on tinder?
The reason why I ask, it isnt a fetish thing and the story is super long and I don't want to get into that. It's just a huge mess. And I feel like it will derail and I won't get a answer, and I don't want my life's story here.
look I'm sorry I have no idea how to help but I'm just really interested in what the huge mess is about pls tell us more
also recommending against whatever it is you're doing, pretty sure it won't end well my friend.
yeah you can't just do this and not try to just give an outline of the situation.
I can't talk about it much. It's just us hurting each other back and forth. Everyone I talked to says it's a bad idea. But it's the only solution that he'll accept.
Why are we together? There's still feelings.
girl wtf? what else are you going to do other than break up with him. that or have fun being a literal cuck i guess
I'm in such a tight spot. It's finals week and my boyfriend decided that he wanted to take a break from me. It's hard because I've improved so much (I have BPD), but the person I have been, and in ways still am, makes him anxious and he doesn't want to deal with it, so I feel like it's justified. He didn't know coming into the relationship what to expect. But I miss him and I want to hold him, kiss him and call him my angel and it's like, I've never actually fallen in love with anyone I've been with before, even though I've been with him the shortest out of anyone I've been with (a year and a half). He thinks I'm codependent and that the reason I have improved with BPD is only because of him, but the truth is, it gets old ODing and I wanted to change for myself. I've been in school, always took the summer semester, and work, and that's why hobbies and interests have been on the back burner, meaning my main other interest in life was relationships. But I'm about to graduate and I'm excited how my life will change, and I feel like this break for the reason that I'm codependent is not needed. Of course, if he needs to get himself together mentally again, that's the priority. It's hard we need to start as friends again when I'm so in love with him. But maybe, all the time that will open up for me will allow me to find myself again and it won't be so bad. I was just shocked how out of the blue the break is.
I just want him to be happy again and self confident. This is why I don't dish deets.
That's nice and all but youre not giving yourself respect. There's only so much youre willing to sacrifice to someone to make them happy/more confident when it starts affecting you. And its not your job to make them entirely happy/confident. It comes from them. Youre not doing yourself any good and if he accepts to fuck another girl aside from his gf. That's a warning sign. Youre going to hurt yourself so much at the end. Its not worth that. Its your life and you can do what you want, as long as you accept what you are (stupidly) doing.
jesus christ i hope this is fiction. godspeed anon. i hope you find yourself among better people someday
Your mother is a predator/parasite wearing a human skin. You have had the misfortune to be born to her, and she has figured out by practice how to act like your mother just enough to get what she needs and wants from you. Sometimes you see through and resist the tricks, other times you don't. You suffer either way.
You are correct that she doesn't treat you any different to any other creditor. This is because to her you are no different to any creditor, except as her daughter you have some extra or different levers that she can pull.
You might consider reading this: http://konstakurki.org/ThePsychopathCode.pdf
It helped me identify and understand why a member of my family acted as they did and what to do about it.
Have not slept for two days verging onto three due to not wanting to either have to wake up and go through the usual thought routine where I am mad at myself for not ending my life already and also not wanting to lay on my side waiting to sleep while my brain can think.
Thinking is a bad idea for this brain so I try to avoid it or at least non specific thinking.
I am either doing the above until I pass out or over sleeping.
I am becoming hyper aware of my awareness and lack of self awareness in general of how much these "mental illnesses" I have do indeed control and ruin my life.
I am like a baby I cannot choose any choice regarding myself because it is sure to be self destructive or plain retarded so I give my family full reign nearly over my matters.
The only hope I have is learning t o cope better I will never be normal that is quite fine I think I can come to terms with that but why bother when every path leads to the same grave regardless.
Religion(spirituality> I need these but cannot accept faith despite being open minded.
I read too much garbage and by that I mean philsoophy because it is just trash which has no value at all aside from being a cope along with everything else.
Rant over it has been said,
GRAHHHHH i love to bake and make cookies but I'm also trying to lose weight and with corona i can't share my creations so i end up eating them all I WILL NEVER LOSE WEIGHT
The heat is unbearable and there is no airconditioner.
As if I needed another reason to loathe existence.
The heat is a lame thing to complain about but everything is so incredibly fucked that it is really wearing me even thinner.
Ex boyfriend added me back today after like 2 years, I accepted, it's been 3 days, and he still hasn't said anything. Is this a mind-game? Do I msg first, or wait for him to msg?? Send help
Think about it really hard and if it is worth trying to rekindle something.
Maybe he is just really shy and waiting for you to respond first?
Just go for it!!!
I'm on the verge of dropping out of school again.
I can't study, every time I try I just get so frustrated and angry at myself for not having done this sooner. I just have no motivation to finish school. I know it's the only way I'll get a superior education and get out of this hellhole, but I can't. I'd much rather kill myself.
I'm going to a new therapist on Monday. I'll just be totally frank and ask them to refer me to a psychiatrist. I've never tried antidepressants and at this point I feel like it's my only option left. I feel like I should've done this years ago, take meds. But my first "serious" psychologist didn't want me to. I was 15-16 at the time, he thought I was too young. But fuck, what if? What if I had? Maybe today I wouldn't be such a low-functioning depressed wreck.
It is great you want to get some help but SSRI/SNRI may not really help at all and if they do it will be to help you help yourself same as therapy.
we are really in this all on our own.
I know anon. I heard it might make things worse, even. But hey I gotta try, even if it turns me into a zombie, it really wouldn't be any much different from how I am doing now.
It's pathetic that something so small that happened yesterday I still bugging me.
There's this fairly attractive moid cashier in grocery store I buy my food every week because it's really close, like less than 5 minutes trip away from my apartment.
He is so rude to me everytime I have to go through his cash register (I only do it if there literally is no other option). He doesn't say anything to me, not even greet or anything. I'm very short and childlike even though I'm well over 18, so every time I buy alcohol other cashiers ask for my ID every time, this guy is the only one that doesn't. I don't think he ever has. It's like he really doesn't want to say a word to me.
Yesterday I bought some alcohol and yeah, he was the only cashier available so I had no choice but to go through his. No greeting, didn't ask ID, nothing. Didn't think too much about it until when I was packing my groceries, a next customer lined up and he greeted him etc.
I'd like to know what the fuck is his problem with me? Does he think I'm really ugly to the point he doesn't feel like doing any customer service to me like he does to others?
I guess he is very disgusted by me because yeah, many times I've been depressed and not taken care of myself and just went to the store looking complete hobo and went through his cash register. Even though I take care of myself these days I guess that's enough for him to be forever rude to me.
It really makes me feel so insecure and bad about myself. Like I'm so ugly that I don't deserve even some basic politeness. I actually feel like crying now because writing this made me think about it so much. Why couldn't have just be pretty? Life fucking sucks for ugly people. It hurts to bad.
They affect everyone diferently so worth a try but for me all a huge meme makes me worse in bad ways or number.
atntipsychotic is the ones that are really zomie drugs.
Try hard until you have it your best go and then try one last time life is worth it.. cope.>>48391
Oh anon you are not silly for feeling like this at all it is not nice the thoughts you are having but they may not be the truth he could be shy as he likes you and even if he is not maybe there is another reason.
Please try to not let this get you down..
Thank you… At least moments like this give me more motivation to looksmaxx and workout. So that at least I am happy with myself and proud even if no one else is..
Do it for you anon you deserve to be proud of your body by getting healthy and trim.
I suggest you look into fasting and the science behind it for uber fast weight loss and health benfits.
STay safe and try stay on top of those negative thought patterns you have.
It is not enough to just get fit and be the superstar you could be when our mind is so negative.
I am not one to talk and hypocrite but I know that therapy can work if you are willing and you can learn the skills from home.
Look into mindfulness for example because we can stop ourselves being such bithces about ourselves!!
There's a 90% chance he's just an autist who afraid to talk to women. Don't get so hung up on it.
I'm sure you've been greeted by other cashiers in this and other stores. If that's the only person who's consistently rude to you, it's clearly HIS problem and not yours, also it may not have anything to do with your looks.
guys what would do if someone was planning to commit vigilante justice for you?
Nothing, unless I thought they had the wrong target.
>>48391>Does he think I'm really ugly to the point he doesn't feel like doing any customer service to me like he does to others?
Have you seen him being polite to other customers?
He might just not talk to anyone.
There's a particular girl I'm kind of obsessed with, and some of my creations are a tribute to her that she'll probably never see. She inspired me to get into self photography. I don't have a fancy camera, but neither did she, really. I do have a lot of costumes and things I want to try with photo editing. It's all for fun, but I'm also scared to really look at myself. I don't want to see the lines and ugly parts of my body, I don't know if I'll be able to handle it. Cameras are cruel.
I wish I could like myself, so I could expand my creativity and be outgoing. I wish I didn't care about feeling or looking ugly. I don't even know why I'm like this. There's a lot of things inside me, but my insecurity blocks it all. I want to say it's justified because of how I look, but even people in worse condition than me are so much happier and carefree. I don't know how to have that for myself. It makes me really sad. If I'm honest, I think there's just something in my head that's addicted to self-flagellation. Feeling like shit also keeps you safe, in a bizarre way, because you don't allow yourself to be too vulnerable or comfortable, ever. It's kind of like overprotecting your heart by locking it up, but then you inflict pain on it before anyone else can. It's like you're scared it'll have to come out soon, or that someone will break in, so you need to get yourself used to pain in the meantime. You hope you'll toughen up, but you never do. In fact, you get weaker and more afraid, so you have to keep yourself locked up even more, and the cycle continues.
I don't know where I'm going with this, but it's a vent thread, so I guess it's fine.
I don't post on cc much, but I dont know where else to ask without getting normie-tier facetious answers.
I have a huge crush on my best friend of 4 years. It's a recent thing too, I didnt feel this way a few weeks ago.
We were walking together to chipotle on our lunch break, and some weirdo selling bracelets came up to us and gave us the sales pitch.
My friend completely ignored the bracelet man and continued walking, but I decided to politely decline before walking, and that made the bracelet man double down and essentially beg for me to buy one.
As im awkwardly repeating "no thanks, I don't want a bracelet" my friend gently grabs my hand and leads me away from the panhandler. (Ik it's a lame thing to fall for someone over)
Maybe my brain is rotted from reading so much shitty romance manga, but now I can't stop thinking about him.
Every one of his little quirks that I havent paid much attention to before are extremely adorable in my head now. like the little popping sounds he makes if he thinks no one is around, the stupid hair flicking thing he does when hair blocks his vision, Hell, I even find myself actually listening when he talks to me about typically boring stuff that he's really into, like weather patterns and stormchasers.
Before the blog post gets too long, I just wanna get to the point, whats the best way for a socially inept HKV like me to confess to someone without embarrassing myself? Should I keep it to myself? He's like my only irl friend and making things awkward between us would drive me insane.
Sorry if im asking too much of you all.
If it's recent it might just be you having a lack of options around, please don't ruin a perfectly good friendship
i hate men in the anime fandom so much. everying is BALLOON TITS BALLOON TITS PANTY SHOTS FANSERVICE. and if you treat male characters like men treat female characters, you get called a fujo or a faggot and it's neverending asshurt like a hemorrhoid holocaust. i wish moids could get a taste of their own god damned medicine. I'm so disgusted I might have to migrate to 2chan or tumblr or somewhere that isn't 99% filled with incels. male anime fans should just die. the world would be better if they all just curled up and died.
The target is correct I'm just a bit worried the person who plans to do this will get their life ruined or be unable to live with what they've done afterwards
Where is this photo from? I like those boots.
i hate most of the men i'm surrounded by that are interested in me and i want the rope like yesterday. meanwhile i'm being psychically harassed. none of these relationships are mutually beneficial.
i wish i was fat so i had something to focus on and a reason to feel physical pain.
As someone who was also a shut-in and in a similar situation, I can only advise you to do what I did: just confess. If he likes you, he goes out with you, if he's a good friend and isn't interested in you, he won't let it get in the way of your friendship, if he's not a good friend, then he wasn't worth having as a friend. Just confess.
i would probably say no if it's someone i really care about, also because i may be implicated it in or blamed by him, too, if push comes to shove. i don't trust anyone to be loyal just because they do impulsive things allegedly for me. what kind of justice, anyways?
How to get over episodes of cheating, even if they weren't physical? Shit hit the fan and we're finally getting better, he's been very supportive, but I sometimes remember and all the doubt, insecurity and anger comes back. How can I get over this.
to be honest i genuinely think he wouldn't blame me for it, even though i haven't been friends with him for a while he's a very honest person, the only part i am concerned with is if he's able to get away with it as well if he is able to live with what he's done
I was date raped by someone we both know, however there is no way for me to prosecute him or do anything about it for numerous reasons including the lack of evidence it was not consensual, I've been assaulted before and told i was faking it and also his family are rather well off meaning they'd be in a better position in court
my friend found out this happened when i started having night terrors at a group sleepover, after confirming with me what happened he found the guy's location and plans on buying gloves a new hoodie etc
he's eluded to his plan to friends of ours who have been neutral but are in agreement that this person deserves to get what's coming to him but likely won't help him with the plan
my friend won't tell me about it too much but does seem serious and has told me he's doing it because he wants to and won't expect anything from me, he's a pretty nice guy and when we watched hitlers circle of evil together he even sympathised with the nazis at the end even though he's jewish and lost family members to the holocaust
what do i do here ladies? also he's physically able to carry this out as he's six foot plus and pretty large
Considering this person sounds like at least a few of what is listed, their lack of self awareness is indeed a problem.
>>48438>he's a pretty nice guy and when we watched hitlers circle of evil together he even sympathised with the nazis at the end even though he's jewish and lost family members to the holocaust
that's not a good thing
This man likely just wants to get sex from you and would go so far as to white knight and use your abuse which is so horrible btw and not trying to trivialise it at all.
Just saying you know what men are like they really would do anything to get in your pants.
Also you have to question a man that would do vigilante justice.
also considering the whole being jewsh and saying nazis not so bad it is VERY clear he is trying suck up to you think about it.
get rid of him he is likely dangerous.
tbh though anon sounds morally questionable (gullible at best) herself if she thinks it's "nice" or signals an empathetic and thoughtful personality to sympathize or empathize with nazis.
90% of Jewish humor involves making fun of Jews and Jewish culture.
Anon that boy is just trying to get sex if he was smart he would not say he would attack that guy what is his plan anyway?
Seriously sounds like a brainlet beta.
This response has nothing to do with what we're talking about. Anon's misguided understanding of what makes someone nice has nothing to do with Jewish humor, and anon never suggested it was a joke. And I wouldn't believe it was "a joke" all of a sudden now, either. And even if it was a joke, the fact remains that anon thinks it's nice to extend empathy to demons who committed genocide.
Anyways, I still wouldn't really want to be potentially implicated in vigilantism even if I'd been victimized. Date rapists deserve it, but I personally would be wracked with anxiety about someone going too far and my situation ending up being a motive to whatever they did. That's just me personally.
>>48454>And even if it was a joke, the fact remains that anon thinks it's nice to extend empathy to demons who committed genocide.
This what you are so concerned about?
I am more worried about that man being weird and her being entangled in his snare.
Who cares if someone is edgy these days.
You don't realize that women accepting "edgy" shit results in them having "edgy" male company that's actually dangerous. They tolerate worrisome behavior, thoughts, and actions because it's "just edgy". Obscuring obvious red flags with "it's just being edgy" is dangerous.
on a serious note I agree totally.
edgy in a meme way is fine but edgy because unironially fell for pol memes shows they lack critical thinking skills.
You are not wrong at all.
"Nice" is likely the wrong word here, "empathetic" is likely the best word here, i did remind him that these people killed his great grandparents when he said he felt bad for them at the end of the documentary to which he said "i just hate seeing people in pain and suffering" which struck me as rather odd considering he plans rape the guy who raped me, me and my friend group have made fun of him for sympathising with them tbh
also he is very transparently in "love" with me, he buys me high calorie food for me a lot after being aware i have an ed, my most major concern would be him ruining his life over this and i am a bit worried that the guilt from this would kill him and he and our circle of friends would be ruined
i don't return his feelings for many reasons but i do care about him as a friend
but at the time i feel as having my rapist being traumatised in a similar way would prevent further casualties as i know i'll hate myself if more girls have this done to them
I'm so unbearably sad and I'm not even sure why.
Hoping this is a LARP because it is retarded enough to be one.>rape him
What is this retarded shit anon are you autistic and unable to tell this guy is a weirdo?
Vigilante justice is retarded imagine if he decided to get someone back who actually did nothing wrong because this happens a lot and is why we have the law as imperfect as it is.
>self hating faggot joo hanging out for crumbs of pussy
You need to be careful anyway I am considering this a larp post anyway.
i wish this was a larp but yes i am autistic anon hence why i'm asking for advice also the person he's after is the right person who did indeed rape me
Ok autistic anon do not get involved with this jeish to be rapist sperg>get raped>man says he will rape the rapist
you do not see the problem with this also he likely wont do shit fror you only wants sex.
people are living lives that make mine look easy, but i still cry all the time and feel bad for myself. i feel guilt for doing this, and i also dislike that people are suffering too. i sometimes think that if i was the only person suffering things would be easier to cope with versus seeing my pain reflected in the faces of strangers.
Hey anon it does not matter how anyone else lives your problems may seem less real but guess what.
Your feelings are just as real and that is what counts.
Think of it like this>anon A can walk out into the sun fine>anon B has sensitive skin and gets severe burns
Both are under the same sun but react differently and their feelings are just as valid.
Please do not invalidate yourself.
earlier this year i took in my friend + his gf because they were in the atlanta riots (handing out medical supplies) & the police roughed them up + took the van they were living in. i care a lot ab my friend ive known him for years so i agreed to let them stay until they got the van back. fast forward several months theyre dirtying up my 1br apartment, not paying rent or for anything except groceries occasionally, the money that rightfully would go to helping me keep the household running was blown at CVS (800 fucking dollars???!!) for more medical supplies so they could go to more riots, and their relationship is falling apart in my living room. it was the most obnoxious fighting too!! like he would scream some moid shit at her and she would turn the tv up to fucking 100 and scream her lungs out to yellowcard, blink-182, green day, the corniest most generic pop punk in the world (looking back i can laugh and think "based" but the toll that shit took on my mental health is crazy) then the gf started cheating on him with some guy she swore she was just friends with, again under my roof. my best friend of 5 years sees the situation, takes my side, and tells them they need to move out.(it should've been me saying it call me retarded i know but this was my first apartment and i was seriously hoping they'd sort out another living situation, i didn't want to kick out my homeless friends i was really trying to do the right thing) the NEXT DAY my best friend comes back and starts accusing ME of being too mean to the gf who SHE kicked out. rightfully im pissed off, a domino effect happens, and i lose her as a friend, which is grief im still reeling from bc she was my sister and i'll never understand her suddenly turning on me.
fast forward again to now, i see my friend (he moved out and we're on good terms, he's kind of my only friend rn somehow) and he tells me that in the 6 months after his (now ex) gf moved out, she stole her new roommate's $500 tv and ps4 and got pregnant & miscarried the guy she was cheating with's baby, and the guy proceeded to cheat on her and tell her that it was because the other girl gave better bj's.
i know it's fucked up to celebrate these things but i feel like she got her comeuppance for manipulating everyone around her and shitting up my life for so long. somehow she and my ex-best-friend are close now, idk what happened to my xbf to make her like that. in the end i definitely dodged a bullet
wtf you seriously need new friends
Oh anon that all sounds so horrible and to be taken advantage of is so low.
How can you even do that to a friend? you would never do that to a friend as you seem so caring and then for them to do that no good.
I agree with other poster you need some better friends.
I live in this tiny room liek seriously tiny which is fine but I have to get everything off the floor as a cleaner is coming to clean the house as someone where I live spilt oil and mopped it all over the entire apartment.
I am very lazy and I do not have much stuff but need to move it and I do not even want to be near cleaners.
I have to help out in house work but I do not even try to make mess and clean sometimes I even eat only canned food plus eat from the bin as these people throw away perfectly good food so I try to minimise my presence here..
Why do I have to o anything I just want to lay in bed with music.. These people actually want me to interact with them as I live here I do not understand it.
>>48467>considering he plans rape the guy who raped me
That's weird as hell. I thought he was just going to beat the guy up for you or something.
Don't fucking do it. Just wait a month of two and if the feelings persist then
you can confess.
>>48467>he plans rape the guy who raped me
>>48507>be anon's likely bicurious and possibly self-hating jewish 'friend'>have a long repressed desire to have rape another man>"oh what?? no way, he raped you?? i know what to do. haha wouldn't it much deserved justice for me, your friend, to forcibly shove my very heterosexual throbbing penis inside of his juicy boyhole and to cum hard inside his clenched virgin anus for you haha??? haha JUSTICE haha"
>>48467>but at the time i feel as having my rapist being traumatised in a similar way would prevent further casualties
Let me tell you that that will in no way help prevent him from victimizing other women.
I do not care who is raping who because rape is rape and we should really stop raping people on a dame whim!!!
>anon dates jew rapist after raping her rapist>any chance he gets he is raping for revenge
What is it that you think they hate about you?
What's your accent?
>not trying anything with their partners
>oh yeah, and, massive sex appeal
Could you be any more vague?
You're just jealous of her laconicism.
I hate her vagueness & boasting too.
I think I might have ADHD, but perhaps that's just a latter-day excuse for being a dumb failure. Like what if the doctor just says "no, I'm sorry, you just have goo for brains, look, it's coming out of your ears right now. Here's a tissue."
Picture isn't relevant, it just makes me laugh and it's almost obsolete.
unlikely but i get the anxiety regarding psychiatrists specifically.
He's openly bisexual and a virgin so I don't think he's using my trauma as an excuse to live out his fantasies or anything, his whole mindset is something I struggle to understand myself really
My rapist was autistic as well which is how he got me to lower my guard so I feel like my friend raping him in a more humiliating way would be enough to keep him away from people and finding a new victim
>he plans rape the guy who raped me
you seem out of touch to the point where this looks like bait to get people banned for>Do not threaten or encourage physical harm.
get help and stop being friends with such freaks of nature.
I'm not encouraging it that why I'm asking you guys what to do
Read my post again.
I said you were baiting others into replying with encouragement, not encouraging it yourself.
I'd rather people give advice than encourage my friend blindly, i've never really dealt with social situations or anything of this intensity before
anon you seem to be in a very dark warped place mentally. cut off this dude. his first thought shouldn't be to rape your rapist that makes no fucking sense. if anything it betrays his own rapist mindset.
Good luck, dumb fucking bitch.
Why do people choose to have children - and I do mean "choose" - when they know it will mean their own parents who are in their late 50s and older will have to take care of their kids? Like, it's always fun for the grandparent at first and then the novelty quickly wears off. I see it as utterly selfish, especially in all the cases I've seen it, the grandparent who takes care of the kid has health issues of their own. Just suck it up and admit you can't afford a damn kid. It disgusts me.
It's pretty shitty but even worse is the fundamental betrayal to the child. It will never be ethical to rob a person of their ability to consent to existence knowing full well you have no guarantee or ability to provide them a life free from suffering, disease, and death. Death that is likely to be painful, no less.
Me, too. Your attached image scares me.
I'm high asf, zooming in, and just staring. Overlord.
There is no valid reason to ever have a child that is not rooted in selfishness.
It is obviously better to have never existed.
If existence is unconditionally a net loss to begin with, then it stands to reason that continued existence is also a net loss.
If a person truly believed that, why wouldn't they just kill themselves?
Humans are not rational we really should just kill ourselves yet we are programmed to avoid doing so at all costs. Our brain makes us numb or even learns to enjoy the misery but yu are right we should just die.
Good to know there are people dropping sum antinatalist bombs here. Based <3
Committing suicide safely, at the right time, and without the risk of failure that leaves you suffering endlessly is a tough task. It's not like in most places people have the right to die safely and humanely. People also have families and obligations that restrict them from doing so even if they feel life is an unfair burden that was imposed upon them.
how is what anon doing dumb?
Look into schuizoid because they are able to go through life not being lonely but quality of life is low
Get through life? Yes, anyone can get through life with only shallow relationships. Enjoy life? That entirely depends on you and your personality. I would not that most schizoids also seek solitude, but they still are shown to have much lower life satisfaction than other "normal" social individuals by established metrics. If there was any religiousness to your solitude seeking, I would say strive for it.
You need something to devote yourself to. It can be anything.
he didn't respond for 3 days, so I bit the bullet, and messaged him, and he responds with really cold, one-worded responses, almost like he doesn't wanna talk to me, but he's the one who initiated. still hasn't told me why he even added me back lol he hasn't changed at all and idk why he does this
My stalker is likely going to be getting early release, even though he was supposed to be getting 10 years, and I'm extremely depressed. I guess it's unlikely that he'll re-contact me, and I've changed my legal name since then, but I'm still terrified, and I don't understand why he's getting released so early when he's only been in prison 3 years out of his 10.
I'm so sorry, anon. "Good behavior" and the propensity for people within the prison system to identify with young men because they relate them to themselves or their sons. It's disgusting. Hopefully, even if unlikely, he will have learned his lesson and will just stick to himself.
i feel really bored all the time. i don't have friends or a bf and work from home. i stay in my apartment pretty much all the time except to buy groceries. i don't want to go out just to spend money needlessly at cafes or anything, espeically going alone. my area has pretty bad crime issues and it turns me off from going out just for walks. i don't have a car and can't drive. basically i'm limited to places in walking or easy-bus distance to go for a walk, which isn't much. i bought weights and workout at home now so i don't even go to a gym. 'rona has destroyed sports groups and meetup. i live in a very small apartment with no room for physical hobbies. i want more things to do that aren't just "sit on computer for hours at a time" but there's nothing much. even reading is just 'sit around and read kindle." basically i only want a moid bf so he can drive me to a larger range of places to take me for a walk in.
>learn to drive
i have really crippling driving anxiety and cannot. if i drive it's just a danger to myself and others.
almost been hit by cars too many times.
tfw no moid to drive me places
>>48491>someone where I live spilt oil and mopped it all over the entire apartment.
one time i was grabbing a glass bottle of olive oil from the lower cabinet and the glass was slippery with oil, so it dropped and the entire thing shattered. it was an oil nightmare and took an entire roll of paper towels to clean up. what kind of dimwit tried to take a mop to oil?
>>48486>these are the kind of people who are in antifa
what the fuck anon>>48439
modern politics really has infested everything though. people have no chill and it's like a 24/7 lynchmob looking for its next victim. i swear even 5 years ago people weren't like this.
Thank you… It 100% was because of "good behavior," He's a master manipulator and a sociopath with a complete lack of conscience, so I'd imagine he finds it easy to maintain a calm disposition.
The thing is, he's a sadist and a sex addict. The courts even said he was "likely to re-offend" because of his sick fascination with young girls. Yet, he's going to be released early. I just feel like he'll engage in the same shit again. I just hope he never finds me again
Not a big fan of how a lot of threads have to do with relationships or scrotes. Makes me feel like half of the women here have no life outside of men.
you mean because "cancel culture"? do you guys seriously think "cancel culture" is a problem? kek
Right? Doesn't it get boring talking about the same shit over and over again? I wish the boards other than /b/ and /feels/ were a bit more active.>>48610
Is wanting respect from your peers a shallow pursuit? I feel like I work hard for the wrong reasons, and I just want someone to look up to me because I was the youngest of three siblings.
ive been manic all night and sent nudes to a bunch of strangers on tumblr i deleted my blog and im full of remorse bur at least i got that side of me out of my system lol
My gay moid friend who is in the closet keeps attracting "crazy" girls, like the BPD ones that get really obsessive and threaten suicide for manipulation types, but part of me can't help but think maybe he is a bit abusive himself, and it is why he attracts women like this…
He never tells them that he's gay, and he seems to string them along. Makes them think that he MIGHT change his mind one day, and then play hot-and-cold. Why does it happen over and over and over again? And why does he keep them in his life, if they're going to keep having outburts? Everyone in our town hates him because one girl went around saying she was suicidal because of him. I know he has a tendency to be cold and play mind games, so I don't know if he's completely innocent here.
Not going to say she doesn't seem unstable though. Her entire twitter is her mocking him for having "erectile dysfunction," and talking about how she should be in a psych ward. I do think she's genuinely mentally ill, but I still think he's an asshole. I kind of want to hear her side of the story, but maybe I should just mind my own business.
>>48632>can't help but think maybe he is a bit abusive himself>He never tells them that he's gay, and he seems to string them along
Stringing people along is abusive. You think he is abusive because he is an abuser. He's picking women with mental illness because they're easier to abuse.
That's what it seems like. I mean, it's normal to have so many BPD exes that have threatened suicide because of you to the point where you build a reputation.
If he's gay why is he fucking with women? Obviously he's an emotional abuser if he's fucking around with women when gay.
>keep going on dates with guys and end up not liking them in any way even in the least bit
>have dated literally all across the spectrum so it's not a "type" problem
what the fuck is wrong with me? sometimes i wonder if anime boys have ruined me for 3dpd and that's not a problem i can ever explain to anyone
Part of me thinks he's "confused" and trying to convince himself he isn't gay by dating girls, but when he gets with them, he immediately retracts and becomes cold whenever they become affectionate, they start getting insecure, he acts clueless, they want reassurance, he won't give it, they start acting out, then he comes back, and the cycle continues.
>>48655>Part of me thinks he's "confused"
You're one of his victims. Wake the hell up.
Actually, yeah… You may be right
I just looked at my dad and actually realized he has gotten so old. I feel fucking sad. Time flies so fast.
Long, pretentious vent ahead. I'm stupid for succumbing to jealousy and feeling like no one's first choice despite being able to walk away from that social circle. Yes, the drama happens on fucking Discord. Sue me in the time of 'rona.
B, a distant IRL friend, and I seem fine on the surface. I enjoy hanging out with her but can't ever let my guard down 100%. She was passive-aggressive manipulative in high school around girls she disliked, which included friends I was closer with, while feeding off attention from abusive men until they hurt her to a breaking point. Nowadays B's less toxic in the former category yet continues pursuing shitty dudes. Our friend group has tried to help her out again and again to encourage her to leave the unhealthy relationships. She often agrees with us that they're bad influences and sticks with them for various excuses anyway. She always has more guy than girl friends because she doesn't maintain her relationships with women as much. "One of the boys" type beat. That's a whole 'nother story though.
During coronavirus I had found a private server where I felt comfortable being myself, which is rare for me. The people on there are kind, have killer recs, and share my interests. Everything was chill until someone mass-invited a bunch of their friends…one of them happening to be B, who recognized my username within that niche. I already felt uncomfortable with her on the server due to our past history above. However I kept my mouth shut because it was irrelevant to the server. Disliking someone isn't a reason to kick them out.
She wasn't active when she first joined so everything seemed the same at first. Then out of nowhere B joined more VCs, got to know the other members…you get the gist. Now everyone vibes with her. Everyone but me. And we still don't talk much, not even through DMs or outside of Discord. She brings up our past from time to time as if we were as close as we were before. Her actions aggravate me but I still get along with everyone else. Whatever. I keep it in.
As much as I shake my head at my delulu for typing this, I noticed she's also the type to leech off her ex's or friends' interests and tastes through social osmosis. She then passes it off as her own curated lifestyle in different circles. For example, listening to a jazz song B blasts over Groovy that I know her current polygamous-cum-asshole boyfriend loves is so awkward when everyone else is praising her good taste. Exhibit B: she's posted my photography on her IG without credit or mentioning it to me. Dunno if she intended to pass it off as her own stuff or just admired the work, but it's happened multiple times. She's been caught deleting posts when I like the pictures. While I do believe B could receive recs from other people and turn it into her own thing, other IRL friends have pointed out that she likes things too quickly for it to feel natural. To have her taste appreciated by others I respect is understandable because the songs themselves are good, but leaves a bitter taste in my own mouth with my biases.
The next grievances are my own insecurities coming into play. A different member said something that triggered an anxiety attack so I left for a few days. Upon return I projected my own lingering anxieties onto her and perceived the people on the server liking B more than they do me. I'm not jealous about her being perceived as cooler than me or the friends she's made. In the end they're my friends too. I'm jealous of how she's able to project herself and be that likable when I know B panders and wouldn't be able to develop a taste on her own. B's a lot more open about her personal life while I'm private (thanks, imageboards), which leads to more inside jokes about her. B can also spend more time on Discord in general, while I'm starting to disengage to focus on my own self-development. In the end they may become closer with B while I'll be in less frequent contact with them.
Now she's there in VC everyday for hours. She's there for events. She's utilizing her social osmosis for the server's niches. B never fucking leaves. I can't speak up because I would sound insane if I did so out of nowhere–and let's be real, I sound unhinged right now. Even if I were the Slytherin skullduggery bitch I can't do jack shit with her new friends backing her up. I've started to dislike being on the server because of how tired I can get with the small weights against my lashes piling up into a big eyeroll to toss away, because this whole drama is stupid in the grand scheme of everything. Why can't I talk with her? Where would I start? Isn't this something in my head and not an actual problem if she's not fucking me over or herself? Can't I chill with the woman-against-woman aggression and be more normie and happy that they're all getting along?
>>48674>Can't I chill with the woman-against-woman aggression and be more normie and happy that they're all getting along?
Why? Is it forbidden to dislike someone who lives as a face-stealer just because they're also a woman?
Normies also hate this kind of shit when they detect it, but the nasty thing about bitches like the one you describe is that they spend their whole lives doing it and are therefore much better at getting away with it than people are at noticing it and shutting them out. Given enough time and toxicity, sometimes enough people compare notes that it all comes crashing down but this only ever tends to happen in places with lots of direct contact like families and workplaces, and only if you're very, very lucky.
I think it's fine for you to hate this. It's a natural human reflex to hate and revile parasites and predators, and this person falls into the former category.
>Find guys age 14-22 hot
>find guys age 32-45+ hot
>all the guys my own age are god-awful fucking fuggo
what the fuck is wrong with me? is it a generation thing, like old z/young y just got messed up? is it just an awkward age for men when they are no longer youthful but not yet mature? is it me, am i just an unrepentant pervert simultaneously into DILF and /ss/ but nothing else?
>nooooo you can't just be in your mid 20s noooo oh noooo no nono noooo
damn fam, you gonna commit suicide before you graduate college or what? because i got some bad news for you.
Think she's criticizing you being into underage guys.
i wouldn't actually have sex with someone under 18. but the fact is a 14 year old is subjectively more attractive than a 28 year old.
I used to have anorexia and now have a BMI of 20.3 since I got on BC. I am trying to do cardio and continue working out my abs which I've admittedly slacked on since coronavirus. I want to cry, though, because even though I see progress with my abs (I already had abs, it's like they are just coming back), my skin is gross and I have developed cellulite on my stomach and ass even though my BMI is "healthy". Like, apparently being at an underweight bmi is the only way for me to look normal. I hate it, like this is what I get for trying to be healthy. I know I'm a shallow fucking cunt. I'm sorry.
i realized i was a lesbian earlier this year but i'm still having a hard time coming to terms with it
sometimes i think about how long it's going to take me to get over my trauma and be the best version of myself, and i think honestly it's too much trouble and it would just be easier to kill myself right now
BMI is a gross oversimplification (it's just your weight divided by the square of your height ffs) and cannot possibly accurately account for different types of body morphologies. I wouldn't pay any attention to it. It's a primitive model from primitive times.
It works for the vast majority of people
That's a shitty hand.
Please don't, anon…
SN is being taken offline from many places that used to stock it I would get mine ASAP if I were you!!
If it means anything IQ tests are a bit of a meme why did you get tested by the way??>>48705
why? I hope we all can enjoy love but we are all adults and I guess it is hard for me to tell others not to kill themselves when I have that in the works myself.
I have not read that it is but have been in the loop regarding suicide drama and aamzon and other retailers including ebay are either straight delisting it or making it unavailable in many regions.
You cannot buy it in Canada I know that and some other places from amazon.
Sure you can still buy it from some places but if you hung around suicide places long enough you would know it can be quite hard to get now.
What have you wanted to do in life that you could not do as you feel you are too stupid?
can I ask age range? closer to 18 than 30?
Have you thought about doing any other methods?
Look anon I am not one to try tell you not to kill yourself and I know how hard life is trust me I am much older and have been through a lot it is never ending plus will likely an hero myself soon.
I do think maybe if you just let go of these desires to be successful it could help you as you are making yourself suffering more than you could be but your feelings are totally valid.
Your family sounds very tozic it may be best to get away rfrom them if you can but everything is too hard.
This is all so sad anon.. Youare an adult and old enough to decide enough is enough to log out earlier than you may but seriously is soo sad.
Do you have no one to talk to even online? i can help to have someone in your corner that understands and will be tehre for you when you need it…
Can I ask you what you used to draw?
We can talk if you like I wont try convince you not to kill yourself just relate to not having anyone to really talk to and feeling ostracized all my life but I can never know what it feels like to go through what you are for yourself but I can try in this thread..
feels like shit.jp…
>be lonely as fuck
>find amateur nsfw ASMR artist I like
>"not bad, maybe I should commission him for some stuff"
>check his Discord
>it's already full of Cryaotic tier "uwu our daddy is so perfect and can do no wrong" simps
Yuck. This dude actually sucks ass to have these types of fangirls already lol. Makes his character/voice work that much less desirable to me entirely.
I should've seen this coming when his higher tiers slutting himself out were sold out and the ones that bought them seem like narcs.
He also ignored my business inquiry message to go shitpost/goof off, and that honestly rubs me the wrong way. Then again, I'm self-aware that I'm a petty cunt that likes demanding one-on-one attention and hates group chats as a whole. I'll give him maybe a week to seriously respond, but I'm already losing interest real fast.
I want my actual fuckbuddy to talk to me again.
>nsfw ASMR artist
You were really expecting someone like that to be a straight shooter?
I know this must be normal, but having never fallen in love before despite being in relationships before - I feel like I'm torn apart and decimated in regards to this break up. Worst of all he makes it seem like he himself is unsure and like we could get together again. I would like that, but I'm also hurt. I know he doesn't care enough to toy with me, but I feel like that's what is happening here. I feel like I'm going to relapse after I've worked so hard on my mental health and substance abuse. I hate myself.
>>48695>tfw 21 bmi and cellulite>i'm "healthy"
i think western standards are just disgusting. >>48736
groupies, simps, girlsimps, and the like have always turned me off. it just hits this cringe note and feels too pushy and creepy. i wish people could have chill and appreciate someone's work from a respectful distance.
Bear in mind, anon, that I used to be an ana-chan and even before I was officially an ana-chan, I was underweight. Feeling thin is part of my identity and having to accept I'm not super skinny is something I have to learn to accept. I'm sorry my post frustrated you. I'm kind of mentally ill.
I feel disconnected from everyone, almost schizoid. People always feel closer to me than I do to them, and demand a form of intimacy that I'm not comfortable giving.
I will know someone for a year, but still feel as though there is a large psychological distance between them and I, and then, they become bewildered when I claim that I feel a strong distance because, "I've known you for over a year!"
I don't feel as though that means shit… I don't understand how people form such strong connections with people so quickly. I feel robotic, playing the social game, I feel as though I'm just talking to a mask… and talking through my own mask.
I have the same feeling. Among the people who would call themselves my friends, there isn't a single one I've ever gone out of my way to see or speak to. Back in school I mostly picked up "friends" because talking to certain people was more entertaining than doing nothing when I had nothing to do, but every time I changed grade levels and stopped seeing them naturally, contact just stopped altogether.
Now that I'm out of school I don't really go anywhere anymore except work, and I'm typically too busy to talk to my coworkers there even if I did want to, so now I don't really talk to anyone except my immediate family, since I live with them.
The way everyone else acts about social contact and relationships and friendships and such, it makes me think there must be something broken inside me. Surely out of the thousands of people I've met in my life so far, there would have been one who I could connect with and care about, wouldn't there? I'm trying to hold out hope that maybe I just haven't met the right person yet, but statistically speaking it seems far more likely that the problem is me.
My mom is a hoarder and it's really ruining any Christmas cozy feelings. She has a 2000sqft house and I would say it's pretty near capacity. She has a shopping addiction (luckily kept a bit in check by how little money she makes), which has gotten worse lately with her new justification of thrifting to sell on ebay. Ridiculous. I really resent her and wish she had more self awareness and self control. She acts like a teenager. If you try to throw something out or suggest donating she lashes out and says something like "I'll throw you in the trash". Pathetic.
She gets mad that my sister and I aren't doing anything holiday-ish (baking cookies, doing craft kitsch she bought us), but doesn't understand that it's impossible because there are NO CLEAR SURFACES and no spare space to move objects to get them out of the way. It's really depressing to be here. It's hard to just have a normal dadu and function when you have to navigate around big piles of shit to move anywhere and there's no space to really sit and relax. I think this is the last year I'm coming here for Christmas.
why do i always be crushing on ppl who are out of my league, they and their world are completely from mine.
thanks anon, i agree. every year i get so excited and then so disappointed about visiting her. time to stop.
Can keeping a diary entry help one psychoanalyze oneself?
Anon, listen to this advice. Stop putting yourself down and consider that you maybe can totally join these people and their world.
Also consider that if you're consistently drawn to totally unrealistic relationships/circumstances, then perhaps you are avoiding intimacy by never placing yourself in a scenario where getting close to someone is possible.
Thank you for the advices anons, i had never thought about it this way before. I really need to work on myself first.
alone on christmas eve. alone on christmas. anyone else?
For sure, I've had one on and off for the past 10 years and it's interesting to look back at my habits/thoughts/actions over time.
I got super anxious at my family Christmas party due to sensory overload and just .. not taking care of myself very well and left early. I didn't realize it would make my mom mad at me and I just feel like a terrible daughter but I had to be alone. I'm also going off of a med right now and replacing it with another so I'm praying this is coincidental and not some horrible semi permanent brain thing
I know that feel but everything is going to turn out ok. just wear bb cream to hide pimples and you good.
this year went from great, from not so great. i'm sure that applies to everyone though.
i was excited to finally start going to university and get away from my mom,
but the pandemic happened and i decided to take a gap year.
i feel worthless because i'm too autistic to even get a job at mcdonalds.
because i don't have a job besides watching my infant cousin every other week,
i've been at home this whole time. i received (gifted) money from relatives at the beginning of the year
but i had all of it taken from me because my mom claimed she needed it more than i did.
the money that i made from babysitting, i was also forced to send that to my mom's account because she said she needed it for bills.
i can't complain or say anything about it because my mom will just tell me to go and get a real job.
i really wish that i could get a job at mcdonalds or walmart.
i'm too fucking stupid that i would have an anxiety attack from having to work the register or deal with meal orders.
when i do math it takes forever for me to solve it.
i feel like i have undiagnosed autism or some learning disability, my brother is on the spectrum and he always points out how similar we both are.
i'm not exactly sure how my mom didn't notice something was wrong with me as a child, because she said herself that i didn't actually start speaking until i was 4 years old.
i feel like even if i did get diagnosed with it, it would be worthless.
my brother got help from childhood an as an result he's incredibly smart and actually has friends, unlike me.
all of my cousins around the same age as me have part-time jobs and cars, but i'm the only one that doesn't.
my mom told me how she lied about her age and even fabricated her birth certificate so she could start working at 14 years old. i don't feel all that suicidal anymoe about the fact that i don't have a job and am mentally stupid,
but with the career path i'm going for, the soonest i'll start working in my field is when i'm 25-26 years old since i'm taking a gap year.
the only way i can cope is by losing weight so i don't become fat and have diabetes like my other relatives.
i wish i could have a redo at life and had been born into an at least middle class family, being poor fucking sucks. i wish i could've done dance
or gymnastics as a kid but we were too poor for me to even do that.
That girl really doesnt have tourretes I think its a meme of hers to get popular by saying the n word.
She is just a pretty girl that realized the Southpark Cartman meme works irl too.
I wish I was genuinely asexual or aromantic. I don't know what's wrong with me, because I have met men who were interested in me and have gone on dates, but I just cannot see myself seriously dating any of them. Because of this, I've been single my whole life and generally tell myself that I'm okay with this because it isn't like I'm missing out anything. But even still I spend so much of my time creating these parasocial relationships in my head and I get so sexually frustrated all the time. What gives? Most of my friends probably think that I just have a low sex drive and am really independent, but it's just because I'm too ashamed to tell them how lonely I am. Whenever I do, the advice is always that I should just put myself out there, but I've tried and it's failed every time. I'm tired of trying to date men, but I'm also tired of being so lonely and horny all the time. Wish I could lobotomize the part of my brain that's responsible sexual/romantic attraction.
yes, beware of the mind. the mind creates many illusions. of course it may be that the present world is an illusion in and of itself
Well… I tend to fixate on people who are relevant to whatever I'm currently interested in (not celebrities, but still well known figures I can learn about) and I definitely have a type. I like to imagine myself in relationships with them because I'm a self-indulgent bitch. All of the men I've met in real life are either really boring or too much emotional labor. Most men I meet on dates and stuff don't really have strong opinions about anything and it makes it so hard for me to keep my interest in contacting them. The few men I have been really good friends with had fun and interesting opinions, but they were also really emotionally codependent on me and that became too much so I had to distance myself. I'd like to think that the guys in my head are realistic, but I guess it's hard to tell. It's also unfortunate that many of the men I tend to fixate on are not well-known for being great people.thanks for listening, anon
I can’t imagine not feeling like shit every day. It’s been like this for years. I want a hug so bad
when covid is over go to Japan or Korea hit the host clubs and pay for boypussy. Would be nice if you could buy bf not just rent bf but it's something I guess.
>>48814>Would be nice if you could buy bf not just rent bf
You can if you're rich enough. I heard on a podcast recently that starting rates for a sugar baby are $3000/month or so.
Though one could argue that you're still just renting in that case, since you'd have to keep paying them every month.
Haha I would feel anxious going into a non-English-speaking country. Plus, I’d want a guy who really liked me… me and my ex have gotten back in touch, and he says he wants a future with me, but it’s been months and he hasn’t made any moves… I’m so lonely and touch starved. I don’t want sex. I just really want to cuddle.
>>48816>I’m so lonely and touch starved. I don’t want sex. I just really want to cuddle.
Good. You really know whats up and have your priorities straight, sex is secondary.
Thank you anon <3 I wish there was a dating site for cuddling instead of hookups. I wonder if any men would even use a site like that.
Very few would sadly. And if they did most would ruin the mood by attempting to escalate it to something sexual way too soon, love ain't the priority for their ape brains.
>>48819>And if they did most would ruin the mood by attempting to escalate it to something sexual way too soon
I was thinking exactly this! I’ve thought about going on dating apps (not infamous hookup ones like Tinder) claiming I just wanna snuggle but I feel like guys would see that as an opportunity to escalate things, or they’d misinterpret me. God I just wanna feel human warmth and be held..
>>48818>I wonder if any men would even use a site like that
I'm sure a decent number would.
The problem is they'd be drowned out under the absolute tsunami of guys who make an account on literally every hookup service and dating site in attempts to get sex, because there's no reason for them not to cast their nets as wide as possible.
It doesn't matter what the intended purpose of the site would be. Women get propositioned even on casual social media sites like Facebook, so you better believe manwhores would infest any site even remotely dating-adjacent.
I've often wished that there was a dating site for NEETs/recluses to meet each other, since such people obviously don't have a lot of opportunity to run into each other in public. Unfortunately, I imagine that site would suffer the exact same problem with being flooded by guys who are just flinging "gib sex pls" at the wall and seeing where it sticks.I was thinking it could be called NEETmeet.
You could try looking for guys who specify that they're asexual, although if they're the real deal it might eliminate the possibility of the relationship ever
It could maybe be a temporary measure for the time being, though.
I don't want to live in Norway anymore.
can you tell me why? i always got the idea that norway is a great place
I got rejected by Achilles in Hades
>tfw he likes someone else
I think I'm from a pararel dimention, can someone please explain something to me - why do people feel the need to interupt someone when they're talking? Isn't this something you're taught in school if your parents haven't already done that? Holy shit every time I talk to someone or try and explain something at least 1 fucking asshole HAS to butt in during a sentence. Why is it so hard to shut the fuck up and wait until someone is done talking?
Sometimes it's the only way to get a chance to speak at all. I don't do this but some people treat conversations like a competition and if you aren't fighting for it you'll never get a chance to speak. I just choose not to talk at all in those situations but more assertive people who grow up in that kind of environment might become serial interrupters, just to try and humanize this shitty behavior a bit.
I would kill myself if I failed any of my classes. It hasn't happened yet but I just know I couldn't live with the guilt of knowing I could've done better
wow you have so so far to fall in life that it is really cute as it gets a lot lot worse trust me anon.
i cant take being a neet anymore. its ruining my relationship. i cant go back to school until august and i have no friends due to moving/never really bonding with people irl. im wondering if a part time job could help me (despite being incredibly anxious). i have a few hobbies im passionate about but im starting to exhaust them. i feel like i need a change in routine or something else in my life and im scared to take the leap/unsure what the hell to even do
I just heard that my ex cried for 2wks after I left him and for some reason it's making me feel nauseous and bad. He wasn't a good bf and I'm glad I broke up with him but for some reason I just feel sick now ugh.
Might not really be a vent, more let down, but last time I talked to my crush I got kind of gay vibes from him. Crush crushed at least and I can move on.
slowly learning japanese. i'm mostly doing it in hopes of playing/reading visual novels (bl + otome mostly) and filling the void "being forever alone" leaves.
yeah. 2021 will be my, what…fourth year without a single friend? i do have my parents, and i'm grateful for them, but yeah. can't really speak with them about my interests.
tangibly related to the above, but it does sting to see how close / friendly people can get with one another in such a short amount of time. it's like, i've known them for much longer, but this new person has only known them for a month, and they're already watching movies together and stuff…and this always happens to me?
wish i wasn't so broken or whatever the hell is wrong with me where social stuff is concerned.
Ask him if he would like to date to get to know each other more. Seriously fuck it, take the plunge, if you fail you fail and thats fine.
You don't even know if that is true. Sounds like a manipulation tactic either way. If he really cared he would have treated you right.
>>48866>ow close / friendly people can get with one another in such a short amount of time. it's like, i've known them for much longer, but this new person has only known them for a month, and they're already watching movies together and stuff…and this always happens to me?
This is kinda obvious but do you invite other people to do things together?
i'm kinda "talking" to a girl rn but shes not as responsive as id like her to be, i hope she's just busy over the holidays as i'd really like to have more luck with women next year
I just hate people in general. I guess i would be called a misanthropist. I hate them all. I hate my own nationality, others, other cultures, young and old, fat or skinny. I really hate the rich and poor, even the middle class. Rich people are fucking stupid. Humans are just so awful and shitty. I dont know why I hate them so much. I understand everyone has their flaws and theres plenty of geniuly good people out there. But I dont care about that argument. I used to care but now I kind of await the end of the world or for me to die in a accident. I still like being alive I just want less people in the world.
aim to move to somewhere with less people, like a small village
amerika fag here. i've never ever filed taxes (i don't work, i'm busy with school, i have a health issue that causes me constant pain, etc. etc. etc.) so i'm worried that i won't get the upcoming stimulus check.
and yeah $600 isn't a lot, but it could potentially fund a few things i need around the house. kind of sucks that i can't find any concrete info around the web (or maybe i'm just too retarded to understand what i'm seeing idk)
Maybe that’s the problem? People might think you aren’t that interested in getting to know them. Why not each time after you meet someone, invite them to do something?
Did you get the previous $1200 stimulus check?
Also, I'm pretty sure there's an option for people who don't make enough income to report anything. I'm sure you still have to fill out some form, but it's probably online only and wouldn't exactly be "taxes."
I don't know anything specific about the process, though.
>>48920>Did you get the previous $1200 stimulus check?
i didn't. another issue is that my mother listed me as a dependent in 2018 and 2019 (for a dumb reason kek).
there is (or was) an online form for non-filers as well, but i wasn't able to fill it out because of the aforementioned thing (and once it came back as "rejected" i just didn't see the point).
all i can do is continue to poke around, i guess. though i feel like being a "dependent" in 2019 is going to continue to fuck me over.
>>48761>grew up with hoarder parents>dad was even storing his shit in the closet of my bedroom at one point>???>now went full "i own one fork" minimalist
i'm chilling out with it a little bit though. even bought some new clothes.
>>48866>learned japanese for other reasons>what i end up using it for is reading manga and fancomics with cute boys
i tell myself this counts as studying, and in truth it does help me improve. i feel like a weeb loser though. >>48888
same but i would rather not have been born>>48918
$600 is almost nothing, tbh, but free money is free. i hate how $20 in the early 00s was an appreciable sum of money and $20 today is like, maybe i can get a burger and shake? i hate how hard it is to earn money and how quickly a thousand hands reach out demanding i pay them. tfw
>>48923>another issue is that my mother listed me as a dependent in 2018 and 2019
I don't think that's necessarily a barrier; I'm pretty sure I've been a dependent on my parents' taxes for years. I'm on their insurance and everything, at least.
Although, maybe it's different for me because I also filed income taxes in 2019.
Nothing wrong with reading manga anon have you learnt enough weeb speak to post on 2chan and other jap boards?
I would only try to learn weeb so I could chat with other hikikomori losers since westernchans are full of normalfags now
Been in a LDR for 3 years, but my boyfriend is a normie/neurotypical type. Shit is really frustrating trying to explain mental health to him. He tries to be sympathetic, but he always responds with, "can't relate! I've never felt anxiety before," and it makes me feel kind of alone. I tried to explain what depersonaliation-derealization is because he gets offended and makes remarks about me "zoning out" or being robotic sometimes, and he didn't even know what it was. Thought DPDR was when you "lose control of your limbs" (???)
I just can not relate to him. He's the type of person to tell you to do yoga to deal with your mental health problems, lol.
Our relationship feels so monotonous and routine, even my mom says we sound like an old married, and I'm so deathly bored and dispassionate. He has become more sexually flirtatious lately (he had insecurity issues around sex, so we stopped the sexual component of our relationship within the first year), but I just feel nauseous, even though I should be happy he's trying to bring that back. I love him, he's my confidant, I feel cared for, and I care for him, but it's almost familial. I want to break up, but when I brought it up, he got very sad, and I don't want to hurt him. It's someone to come home to and always have there, but I just feel nauseous when he talks about kissing/hugging/etc. I don't know what to do.
I think I was molested but i don't remember it… I started acting out and becoming hypersexual when I was 8. I have every sign of sexual abuse and PTSD but I don't remember. I found an old account when I was ten, and I was talking about "having sex" when I was 8 on it, and I don't know if I was just making up stories like a stupid kid, or I really was at the time. I just don't fucking remember. I keep getting flashbacks and I thought they were just false memories but I think they're real. Why don't I remember????
>>48942>I was talking about "having sex" when I was 8 on it, and I don't know if I was just making up stories like a stupid kid
This is a weird thing for a kid to make up. Sorry anon, but from what you've said it sounds like something happened. Please see a therapist who can help you through this.
Anon, the world is hypersexual. Most kids are/were acting out sexually very early in the millennial and Gen Z gens, so it's not necessarily a sign of abuse in of itself.
If you truly believe it occurred, this is something to sort out with a professional. But professionals skew towards making money i.e. the narrative of you being abused profits them more than you not being abused.
Abuse victims repress their memories as a self defence mechanism. That and hypersexuality can be signs of abuse.
I also repressed mine until highschool, where they started coming back in blurs. I doubted myself for years until my mom confirmed it.
theres your problem anon
in all seriousness just find someone who can relate to your problems who won't make you feel nauseous, you don't really owe this guy anything
I like this place but I feel like I don't fit in here because I don't really hate men
A lot of people here don't hate men. Just don't be a pickme.
tbh i don't really hate men in fact some of my closest friends are moids, i'm always gonna be critical of men in general though
I don't hate men but their socialization leaves much to be desired.
I don’t think everyone here hates men, it’s just one of the few men free places where women can vent without some man jumping in with “not all men” and sketchy statistics taken from men’s right forum.
I get that, and appreciate that about this place. I think it's more like I don't care enough about men to have anything to vent about them.
>"hey, we're coming over tomorrow"
>"hey, we'll be there at around 1430."
>arrives at 1407
*Should mention they didn't even call about coming over until late last night.
House looks like shit and I'm sure my stuff's going to get broken/stolen. I will seethe if they try to stay the night.
I fucking hate these pushy family members.
If you're an adult and you live and support yourself on your own you absolutely don't need to put up with this shit. Don't be a pushover to keep the peace with people you don't even like
>reading jujutsu kaisen
>can't stop thinking about the gojo / geto friendship
>tfw never had a real friend
i'm pretty miserable right now
But you have lots of friends here anon.
Is the manga any good?
t. Anime only rn
>>48925>$20 today is like, maybe i can get a burger and shake?
You can feed at least four people on $20 worth of food.
my parents treated me like shit growing up. they still do but much less now that they don’t own me.
i used to be passive when they were mean to me because, you know, was child and didn’t want them to throw away or break my stuff, hurt me, or gossip to their friends about me. but now that i’m adult i’ve been calling them out/arguing/standing up for myself about it every time.
now i’m starting to feel like the asshole. i won’t stop until i’ve “won” the argument and i’ve started using their deceptive tactics against them (like moving the goal posts is my #1). i rarely even let little “microagressions” get past me. i don’t know what’s wrong with me but i find it so hard to stop. i always thought i was never going to be like my parents and “break the cycle.” at first i justified it by saying they deserve it, but now i’m afraid i’m going to be like this in my other relationships.
it’s useless standing up for myself anyways so it just feels like i'm picking fights
You should really just cut them off if you can, and if you can't right now then try to get to a place where you can. You need to get out of toxicity before you try to refresh bad habits you picked up from it
This sounds like cPTSD. Have a look at reddit.com/r/cptsd>>49038
This is good advice.
wish i had enough money to cut off my parents without guilt. like, maybe give them enough so that they're comfortable for the rest of their lives, then i fuck off and do whatever i want
If your parents fucked up badly enough that you want them out of your life forever, why do they deserve anything else from you?
[Erai-raws] Love L…
Been hung up over an e-boy I briefly dated two or three years ago because of a stupid dream I had a week ago. He probably doesn't even remember I exist.
>befriend those of my own gender (not stating cause crystal cafe rules)
The rules aren't hide your gender, it's be female. If you're a moid pretending you're doing a bad job and should get the fuck out (yes, that includes troons), if you're a girl stop being autistic and talk normally.
Waiting for this obsession with my FP/oneitis to wear off. Thank fuck I have borderline personality disorder and I lost interest in all my ‘loves’ at around the 18 month mark
Maybe it is less about him and more about the way you felt because of him? have you felt that way for anyone since? I have dreams about old friends sometimes that I knew online or even years ago many many moons ago and then wake up realizing I am a pathetic loser and they are likely enjoying life which is more than just sitting in their room paranoid using the internet.>>49085
WHy are you hating your FP obsession I am BPD and wish to god I could have an FP and hate how I can just "magically" split on everyone and lose the magic. BPD is such hell it ruins everything I guess you hate having a FP because you are constantly anxious freaking out and losing your mind as I do.
>>49085>18 month mark
damn anon how many months are you in?
rule 7: crystal.cafe is a female-oriented community. Comments from male users are not desired. If you state your gender in your comment or post in an otherwise identifiable manner, bait, or thirst-post, you will be banned and your comment will be deleted. Encouraging male posters by responding (including calling them out) may result in a temporary ban
also what mod keeps deleting my posts?
I can type however I please, go day dream being a mod elsewhere. Trannies can die in a ditch for all i care.
It could be something like that. I don't really talk to many different people anymore.
because they're my parents, and they did do their best as parents despite coming from abusive, fucked up households (though they're both seemingly unaware that their upbringings were positively fucked) and dealing with unresolved / untreated trauma (e.g. my father is a schizo with bullies for siblings and my maternal grandmother was a cruel, misogynistic woman). and i mean on some level i don't think it's their fault the state allows anyone and everyone to shit out a baby with zero training or know-how on how to raise a child (and even then, like not to toot my own horn, but i'm not as retarded or cruel as some fuckers out here).
all that being said, various circumstances they and i could not help make me feel resentful and guilty and irritated and i would just rather not deal with those feelings anymore.
There's a certain way of typing the mods don't like, I'm guessing cause they think it seems moid-ish but that doesn't seem to always be the case
You implied that you weren’t a woman in your post when you said something like “not stating my gender because of the rules.” It made you look like a man.
She could just be autistic. The rule does technically say "if you state your gender."
I’m an autist and I’m not that retarded. This is a women’s website so I don’t get her weirdly-worded post.
Jesus, recently I’ve just constantly been feeling either enraged or mildly irritated.
Dealing with a lot of mixed emotions right now. Long time bf’s mother passed. It’s like very difficult to constantly have to remind yourself to be conscious of this person you once knew can never be seen again, and that is painful. Hurts my heart seeing how much his heart hurts. Very insanely surreal to force myself to come to terms w/ the fact that I need to allow him the space and time to feel every wave of emotion that will rush over, but, I can’t even imagine how it really must be for him (atleast not for some time). It is a struggle to still feel stable in your relationship amongst needing to be a supportive & comforting rock. I get paranoid he will find a ‘person’, someone else, to vent to and get close to from this; and I need to get over it, but it is a concern still in the back of my mind. Literally nothing could be made better by bringing that up though, so I don’t… just wondering how to navigate through something as big a loss as this?
I'm friendless and its driving me crazy. Lost my only friend few months ago because he couldn't stand the fact that I got a boyfriend and he wasn't the only close person in my life anymore.
Since a few weeks ago I've been really wanting to have someone to talk to besides my boyfriend and my mom, the fact that I work from home doesnt help as the obvious coronavirus because every social irl activity is forbidden where I live and well I'm not the kind of person who easily talks to new people irl, if something I struggle a lot with it. I've been even trying to meet new people on /soc/ by posting my discord but since I didn't put my gender only 3 people added me and only 1 replied to my messages I've been even thinking about creating a tulpa so I wouldn't feel lonely but I'm still skeptical about it lol. And well, even though I live with my bf that doesn't make me feel less lonely, specially when he talk to his friends on discord, I just wish I could even have someone to voice chat with.
That's not my only problem, its also that I lack of any motivation to do something for my life, I'm a college dropout who now works from home doing basically nothing, just answering like 5 calls a day, each one lasts nothing more than 3 minutes. So I have plenty of time to do a lot of stuff but I feel only capable of listening to music, playing some videogames and reading stuff here and in lainchan, I'm 22 and have nothing to expect for, I feel like I'm only waiting to be dead someday. I used to have dreams but most of them died in college.
my mom refuses to undergo life-saving surgery, my dad is a junkie ready to throw his life away for drugs, my grandma basically told me she has nothing to look forward to and is just waiting to die
seriously starting to consider suicide
>>49154>my grandma basically told me she has nothing to look forward to and is just waiting to die
That would make me suicidal too. I'm so scared of getting old. If I ever became a widow in old age, I'd definitely end it.
I feel like this and future generations won't really have to deal with that. Hasn't the Internet has pretty much eradicated boredom?
Even when I'm 80, what are the odds that in all the limitless instant free content available online, I won't be able to find one new show I enjoy watching? A new book to read? A new game to play?
I honestly don't think I've experienced real boredom for 10+ years now, not like I remember it when I was a child.
I hear about people getting old and being left to vegetate in a nursing home sitting in a chair doing nothing all day, and I just don't see how that could ever be me unless I go blind or my brain turns to mush.
if youre being cucked kick him out anon
I'm scared that I am developing an ED without even realizing it. I've always been underweight but it never had anything to do with anorexia, I just have a small appetite. Still, I know it's unhealthy and I used to try and gain some weight. When I was in HS, I used to get constant comments about my weight from both my family and my classmates. They weren't necessarily demeaning but it made me uncomfortable that people formed "opinions" about my body. I started looking at thinspo to trick myself into believing that being underweight was actually attractive, and that these people were just being jealous. It's just… I don't know. I still don't go out of my way to restrict my diet but I have no interest in recovering a healthy weight anymore. It's almost like I purposefully warped my own body image out of spite. I don't know whether I hate myself or other people.
How underweight are we talking? A little isn't the end of the world but you can be thin at a healthy weight. Just don't start denying yourself food or restricting diet.
I absolutely hate it when people come over without letting you know. That mindset of 'I decided to come here so give me your time and attention now' is pissing me off.
It's even worse because I have alopecia so I have to put on a wig and draw on eyebrows in 30 seconds everytime an idiot wants to do a ~*surprise visit*~
I just want to leave 4chan behind for good.
its been a year since i last used the chans, literally just stop browsing and thinking about it, cc has gotten more active lately anyway
When you fill your life with actual activities, you will automatically stop posting on 4chan. Think about why exactly you're doing this to yourself and tackle the problem at its root.
i want a gf so bad but i only seem to attract men
world is a fuck
Almost everyone who has ever shown attraction to me was a woman, I wish I could share with you anons
why? organize everything, lay it out for yourself.