Becoming a drop out for the second time today
Whenever my boyfriend says something sexual to me, I feel absolutely nothing. My reaction is so nonexistent that sometimes I just have no idea how to respond. It’s not him; I just don’t care about sex at all.
The demonic modern social apparatus lives in my head intrusively; nestling there like a brooding spider. There is no escape from its judgement, even when alone the show simply must go on and on. Its only prerogative is seemingly to make existence itself sandpaper unto my soul—so from all stages I retire. I embrace my fate as a wastrel; cursed to simply observe the poetry of other people’s lives from the other end of a vast sea, never to have someone lovingly immerse themselves in my own. I am utterly content with never experiencing love. I’ll happily melt into the drama of others from afar, outside their humanity and mine—watching down, or perhaps up, from some formless black space. My little phaneron. The fact that I can leave traces of my existence online and still nobody will ever know who I am offers me consolation. Maybe to die alone and unknown is a sort of privilege.
Pee pee. But also poo poo.
I turned 27 a little over a month ago. I have been in a majorly depressed state for almost 3 weeks now. It started when I traveled to Hawaii with my boyfriend and some friends for vacation. It was probably the worst vacation of my life for little reason besides my poor mental health. I have been depressed since age 10 and now that I'm 27 I am truly seeing the confirmation that nothing has or
ever will improve with my mental health or decision-making skills. My motivation to better myself or do anything at all is completely gone for the first time in my life.
I bit my mouth in the same place multiple times
both of my parents are insufferable however I do not earn enough so I can move out. wanna kms
>took some days off to relax
>can't relax because the 3948 things I should be doing and hobbies I should be improving at are running through my mind
>Literally immobile because I can't decide what to do and there's just so many things
Down horrendously bad m8s, getting the hots for an old dude at work
Wish I could believe somebody liked me
Wish the things I'm good at were enough
Wish the things that are good about me were enough
Wish I was good enough
>get a higher paying job
>lose my health insurance (medicare)
Cool! My pay raise will make no difference once I start having to pay for health insurance. I hate America.
I had a dream where I could feel romantic attraction again. I haven't felt it in years after a series of shit breakups and being treated badly. It's the best feeling ever and I used to chase it so I hope it comes back eventually.
I miss my dream bf
want to discuss/meme anime but anime spaces on the web are universally either:
>full of wokelets that only watch the same 2-3 popular series and bitch and whine over staples of the genre like lolis and teacher/student and whatever other "problematic" thing
your post is actually misogynistic, I hope you'll realize the error in your ways
>>54530>anime watchers who dont mind/enjoy pedo shit>not moids
pick one sis
lol nice, so whens the date?
>>54530>lolis are a staple of the anime genre
kek. Clearly you haven't seen a lot of classic anime which isn't hentai.
thanks for proving my point, sis. >>54536
i should've used "medium". but really shota/loli characters have always been present in anime/manga (as are etc. underage characters featured in panty shots and other sexual scenes).
it's just annoying to see modern anime fandom complain about this stuff and treat it like it's seriously an issue/claim fiction = reality and all that bullshit.
like picrel will get you labeled a pedo which is majorly wtf to me
Lolis have not severely changed in their frequency of appearance over the decades. If you're referring to ecchi, that increased in the same time in general for loli as well as more mature female characters, but the ratios have been pretty consistent over the decades for Japanese viewers liking young girls.
You may be shocked to learn the Japan didn't even make producing actual CP illegal until 1999, contrast with the US passing laws in 1977. That is 22 extra years of being 100% legal to create child pornography. Compare further with it not being illegal to own CP in Japan until 2014.>>54541
The fandom got saturated with normies that started pulling normie morality into the medium as far as viewership goes. Now that anime is mainstream enough for normalfags to give a shit, the people who ride on top of normalfag morality for clout started virtue signaling to gain clout. It is now a viable tactic to be both "cool" and "virtuous" to like anime and deride strange things in the medium as a means of gaining social power, albeit in a limited dull sphere.
I went on ~lc~ for the first time in like a year & it's insane how many comments on there are calling genuinely pretty people ugly. Maniacs. Genuinely such a toxic environment for people to spend time in. I hope everyone there gets well soon
black-haired boy from "pretty boy detective club". it's currently airing.
normies ruin everything.
we should've gate-kept harder
boohoo why wont people validate pedo shit boo hoo hoo
acknowledging that pedophilia is wrong = being a wokie apparently
No, that actually doesn't shock me because I've encountered lolcons like you before who "totally aren't into real little girsl!1!! there's a difference between reality and fiction!! uwu" yet wierdly know a ridiculous amount about cp laws and their history while calling you a dirty normie moralfag for saying cp is wrong.
Btw, legality doesn't determine what's socially acceptable or not, there are places where fucking a kid isn't necessarily written into law as illegal but people will still keep their kids away from dating adults and think pedos are scum.
Btw, there have long been anime and manga which in no way contain loli/shota. Many of the classics such as Bebop, Death Note, FMA, etc. don't contain that shit.
There are also some really old-ass manga such as Banana Fish which explicitly comdemn pedophilia as a form of child abuse.
Just because loli and shota have been around for a while doesn't mean those things are a "staple" of the medium or something we should all accept without criticism.
how the fuck do you find sexualized loli shit not repulsive much less a staple of anime? you have to be a total perv moid at the pt of no return to even be watching that trash much less enjoy it
>>54555>No, that actually doesn't shock me because I've encountered lolcons like you before who "totally aren't into real little girsl!1!! there's a difference between reality and fiction!! uwu" yet wierdly know a ridiculous amount about cp laws and their history while calling you a dirty normie moralfag for saying cp is wrong.
At what point did I say it wasn't CP? I stated that normalfags virtue signal about it because they're normalfags, back when being into anime was exclusively for weirdos in their mother's basement, there was never a reason to give a shit. We are all quite aware that CP is bad, what matters is that suddenly you can gain social capital by saying CP is bad, and it became hip and trendy to do so.>Btw, legality doesn't determine what's socially acceptable or not, there are places where fucking a kid isn't necessarily written into law as illegal but people will still keep their kids away from dating adults and think pedos are scum
Yes I'm not a legalist either, but now that we're on the subject, what age do you think consent begins at if you're not a legalist?
>classics>Death Note, FMA, Cowboy Bepop
Putting to the side the fact that FMA has a loli, Cowboy Bepop has a trap, and that the main "love" interest for the MC in Death Note is a sexually dressed High Schooler. (Are you perhaps confusing the presence of a loli or shota being there with whether or not the content is lolicon or shotacon?)
Yoiko released the same year as Cowboy Bepop revolves around a female elementary school student who has the body of an adult and the ecchi misunderstandings she causes.
Released the same season as Death Note, Negima had a TV series as well as OVAs involving both lolis and shota in ecchi situations.
During the original airing of FMA (not bortherhood) Battle Programmer Shirase was airing which was an ecchi featuring the protagonist loli younger sister as well.
During FMA Brotherhood release, Kigurumikku v3 as an OVA was released, and Queen's Blade was airing at the same time. Enough said.
Just because they were not in "the classics", whatever that vague term means, doesn't mean they weren't present.>Just because loli and shota have been around for a while doesn't mean those things are a "staple" of the medium or something we should all accept without criticism.
I never implied they shouldn't be criticized, what I stated was that when the only people who gave a shit about anime in the West were moid basement dwellers, nobody had any reason to give a shit about loli or shota being present. Now that normalfags are into anime, it has become hip and cool to introduce progressive ideas into anime. I am not saying it possibly isn't right to do so(though you seem to be under the umbrella that violent video games cause violence too), but there's no reason to virtue signal if there's no one to virtue signal to but other weirdos.
Funny you claim exception from legalist morality yes bark about completely standard to legal morality opinions though.
>>54559>Putting to the side the fact that FMA has a loli
>a sexually dressed High Schooler.
Misa Amane is 19 pre-timeskip and TWENTY-FOUR post-timeskip, where she is still wearing the same style.
>Cowboy Bepop has a trap
Who cares? A gender nonconforming character oh noooo
>when the only people who gave a shit about anime in the West were moid basement dwellers, nobody had any reason to give a shit about loli or shota being present
Read this again slowly.
nonny, it's not real. cp is wrong because an actual child is being harmed; where is the child in this image? you understand that it's just a cartoon, right? say i fap to this – where is the victim? does this image resemble a real child to you?
i get that being a lolicon is weird, but it isn't doing any real world damage, and it shouldn't be placed alongside actual child abuse because people personally find it gross.
also…if you get pissed off about lolistuff you also need to get pissed off about violent video games and shonen series that turn children into soldiers. don't condemn weirdness in fiction just because it's sexual, violence is violence – bitch about all of it.
Why do people still trot out the same tired arguments whenever someone is rightfully disgusted about pedophilia in cartoons? Go back to your twitter pedo hivemind.
>>54564>Read this again slowly.
I have, what's your point? Do you think the basement dwellers back in early 1990s had deep philosophical discussions with each other over whether or not loli was okay, or is it a blatant fact that you can not virtue signal without anyone to virtue signal to.
Also nice side-stepping of contemporary anime to your "classics" that had lolicon and shotacon content. Glad to know even you admit you fail to understand on this point.
lol you types never have an actual response to these arguments (read: facts). it's like you think lines and hard blocks of color on a screen are akin to living, breathing kids or something. it's retarded. you monkeys will be crying about "literal murder" in a few years in regards to fps vidya. >>54559> I stated that normalfags virtue signal about it because they're normalfags, back when being into anime was exclusively for weirdos in their mother's basement, there was never a reason to give a shit. We are all quite aware that CP is bad, what matters is that suddenly you can gain social capital by saying CP is bad, and it became hip and trendy to do so.
hard agree with this. want people to flinging around the term "pedophilia" so easily.
Because there's yet to be a proper response to the argument. Closest I've heard is that lolicon can be used by groomers to groom children into thinking they're "mature for their age", but even in that context, whatever means the groomer is using, the groomer is the one committing an immoral action. Not the tool.
Cope and whatnot. Fiction doesn't exist in a bubble but you already knew that. We know that unaddressed racism, sexism, etc. is bad in media because we know that it helps maintain these beliefs in society. Why do you want to draw the line at sexualized children? Are they really so crucial to your viewing experience?
Alright, I'll cut you a deal then. If fiction influences reality, then there should be no depictions or rape, murder, or general violence in media whatsoever, since obviously those things encourage moids to be violent. Completely remove violence from media so that you're not a hypocrite, and you can have the lolicon and shotacon content as well.
>>54572>We know that unaddressed racism, sexism, etc. is bad in media because we know that it helps maintain these beliefs in society.
I abjectly refuse this standpoint and hate censorship in all it's forms. The creator should be allowed to be as bigoted, violent and sexually charged as the creator wants to be, in all fields, no stops, at all. There should be no overhanging sword waiting to cut you down to size for expressing views or aesthetics. I don't draw the line at child porn, I draw the line short of actually hurting children and animals to produce media, since that violence is actually real and in the world.
yeah you're right, harmful stereotypes in media aid in maintaining harmful beliefs people have been taught by their parents, who were taught by their parents, etc. etc. etc.
however there has never been, and there isn't, any grand push to make pedophilia acceptable. also i hate to say it but stereotypes are often based in reality, so it isn't like they're total fiction (unlike a loli vampire or a 15 y/o boy carrying a demon inside of his body)
and desu even unaddressed racism/sexism/etc. in media isn't that big of a deal. like if there's a movie that glorifies nazism it's up to you, the viewer, to understand that nazism is fucking retarded and not go emulating that behavior irl. like >>54574
anon said all art has a right to exist.
I don't make deals with pedophiles but I am also literally against graphic depictions of violence, especially sexual violence.
Slasher horror literally came as a result of the women's lib movement in the 60s and 70s, funnily enough!
>>54575>also i hate to say it but stereotypes are often based in reality
don't care didn't ask
>however there has never been, and there isn't, any grand push to make pedophilia acceptable
the majority of the world letting you fuck and marry young teens didn't clue you in?
Deal, we've now eliminated all depictions of sex, violence, and bigotry from media. Congratulations.>>54579
This would imply that the default human sexuality is pedophilia, not the opposite, and that the majority of media has actually been influencing moids to want to fuck older women. Do you assume that all moids are pedophiles by default then?
okay and the "majority of the world" doing that has nothing to do with loli or underage anime character pajeets in iran or wherever the fuck taking child brides have never even heard of loli before
What's your favorite piece of media?
>>54580>Deal, we've now eliminated all depictions of sex, violence, and bigotry from media. Congratulations.
Gonna sidestep your "lol no media is pure xd" argument before it even tries to land because you're retarded.
You're aware that people who condemn lolicon also do, in fact, condemn other media that glorifies or romanticizes violence right? Not all violence in fiction is wrong, it depends on how it's portrayed of course. I'm fine with stories which contain child sexual abuse when it's not portrayed as a positive thing.
Btw, it's really gross how you refer to literally any child in anime as a "loli" regardless of whether they're being sexualized or not, seeing as loli is a sexually charged term.
(nerd voice, tearful)
Gonna sidestep your "lol no media is pure xd" argument before it even tries to land because you're retarded.
You're sidestepping because you're a hypocrite that doesn't want to be outed as one. That's okay though, I understand why you think the way you do now though.
>>54584>Not all violence in fiction is wrong
no amount of violence in fiction is wrong, it's always based and cool
>>54559>Funny you claim exception from legalist morality yes bark about completely standard to legal morality opinions though.
kek. says the idiot who was claiming that cp is okay because it was legal in japan not too long ago while also claiming "i'm only defending cartoon cp uwu".
Idgaf about whether something's legal or not. cp was wrong before it was outlawed. p sure beastiality is technically legal in some parts of the US, that doesn't mean it's harmless or socially acceptable though.
Loli literally means "young girl" in Japanese, if it were sexually charged it would be "lolicon" abbreviating "loli-complex" aka pedophile.
I'm surprised you didn't pull the "lolicon literally refers to pedophiles in Japanese" argument yet, is it because you're talking out your ass with surface level knowledge?>>54588
I never said lolicon is okay or even good, let alone it was good because it was legal. I purely stand on the line that no media whatsoever should be censored in any manner. You seem to be putting words in my mouth because you're losing the argument.
she never said owning cp was alright. based retardo
>>54584>Not all violence in fiction is wrong, it depends on how it's portrayed of course.
Who gets to judge what type of violence in fiction is okay? Surely not the law since you refused the legalism position earlier.
No, retard. shoujo means girl in Japanese. "Loli" comes from the novel "Lolita" which was a book about a man who rapes his 12 year old stepdaughter, seeks out child prostitutes, and creeps on kids as young as 9 in the park and then victim blames them by claiming "they're not REAL children, they're secretly demons who seduced me!" He also confesses to attempted murder, illegally drugging kids, being a pathological liar, and various other fucked up things, but writes in a way that tries to garner sympathy from the reader.
Yes I've read it it's quite a good book. What's your point?
Care to quote where "shota" comes from as well?
I literally never said that cartoons shoul dbe made illegal. Anyone should be allowed to judge what type of violence is ok. You're the one getting made that people on the internet are judging you for your loli fetish.>>54592
you can call it a loli fetish but it isn't pedophilia and it isn't morally wrong
k, so you're just lying your ass off to claim that loli is just a nonsexual japanese word for girls. Got it.
Oh, that's a pretty boring position. Good to know you're okay with lolicon and shotacon though. Peace.
remember to ask for a warrant after they bust your door down
The original use of loli in Japan started with idol culture in the 1970s, yes the word itself comes from lolita, but that first uses of it were in Japanese fashion magazines as an extension of the otome-mei fashion style during the 1970s. Using the term in relation to normal non-sexual girls was originally used in reference not to lolicon content, but the clothing style. Feel free to prove me wrong with a citation.>>54594>I literally never said that cartoons shoul dbe made illegal. >>54598>I hope the police knock down your door.
Mhmmmmmm, retreating back to the legalist positon again.
Kek can there be a thread for this debate? I've been lurking and it's entertaining.
lmfao you literally were using that term to refer to random children…not people who wear lolita fashion. The fashion is worn mostly by grown men and women, btw.
also you're just using the term 'legalist" to refer to anyone who thinks irl cp and pedos should be arrested now it seems, or anyone who critiques cartoon cp which is legal.
if it’s not pedophilia what is it then? it’s an adult attracted to sexualized depictions of children. the fact that it’s 2d doesn’t change that. if a man only jacks off to cartoon men would you still say he’s straight cause it’s not real? yes it’s not the same as csam but saying lolicon/shotacon doesn’t promote pedophilia is sort of delusional
Multiple people are arguing with you genius.
>Mhmmmmmm, retreating back to the legalist positon again.
The original use of loli in Japan started with idol culture in the 1970s, yes the word itself comes from lolita, but that first uses of it were in Japanese fashion magazines as an extension of the otome-mei fashion style during the 1970s. Using the term in relation to normal non-sexual girls was originally used in reference not to lolicon content, but the clothing style. Feel free to prove me wrong with a citation.>>54594>I literally never said that cartoons shoul dbe made illegal. >>54598>I hope the police knock down your door.
Mhmmmmmm, retreating back to the legalist positon again.>>54603
Why did you post a self-portrait?
this lmfao I honestly wouldn't be sruprised if the lolicon who keeps arguing against "legalism" whatever tf that means is a moid who looks like the picrel in your post.
Oh, it ate my post, odd.>>54602>if a man only jacks off to cartoon men would you still say he’s straight cause it’s not real?
If he never has sex with a man he's homophilic not homosexual. To be homosexual requires someone to have a sex with, not an incel moid like >>54603
Are all fetishes now sexualities? Or are you propping up homosexuality as a fetish instead? Why on earth would you be so bigoted against gay people as to declare their sexuality a fetish?
>>54602>if it’s not pedophilia what is it then?
it's just a kink. weird and creepy but it doesn't necessarily signal that someone wants to fugg kids (in the same way women with rape fantasies don't want to actually be raped). you're only a pedophile if you desire children. REAL children. not abstracted things that resemble no child that's ever walked this earth in mannerisms or appearance.
>if a man only jacks off to cartoon men would you still say he’s straight cause it’s not real?
pedophilia isn't a sexuality, nonny. you're making a false equivalence. but honestly, yeah, if a guy only gets his rocks off to a haikyuu character i'm not going to assume he'd also be fine with sucking his bros off. 2d will never be 3d
The fact you don't know what legalism means but used this phrase>Btw, legality doesn't determine what's socially acceptable or not
is quite funny. Have you just been pretending to understand what the term means? God that's silly.
I know what the term generally means, retard, but language is a bit fluid and you seem to be using it to mean any different things. People who think lolicon should be illegal in places where it isn't are "legalists" people who think real cp should be illegal but not loli are "legalists", people who suspect you are a pedo since you not only are obsessed with lolis but also with the legal status of irl cp are "legalsits", and even people who think cp is immoral regardless of its legal status are "legalists" You're just hurling it out as a vague insult lmao.
>>54610>she thinks language is fluid
I'm using the term to refer to anytime you appeal to the law being relevant to this moral discussion. The law was only mentioned originally to illustrate that infact, yes, loli content has been common and a trope in anime since the "classic" you mentioned, and is not some new growing evil.
You then stated that the law shouldn't decide morality, is this correct? Yes or no?
>>54611>language is completely static and everyone uses dictionary definitions only>I'm using the term legalism in a way that doesn't align with the dictionary definition at all
Btw, you're the one who started talking about real life cp laws and actint like that's somehow relevant to the morality of cartoons.
Also, that's a pretty retarded way to define legalism. By that logic, anyone who thinks something that harms real-life children should be made illegal is a "legalist" since they want to outlaw immoral things.
I said that what is or isn't legal doesn't always align with what is moral and that cartoons shouldn't be outlawed, thouhg it's fine and understandable for people who watch certain types of cartoons to be ostracized socially.
I never said that immoral things in real life (not in fiction) shouldn't be outlawed.
>>54612>I never said that immoral things in real life (not in fiction) shouldn't be outlawed.
Then we agree and lolicon and shotacon content are acceptable. Thank you.
You are identical to every twitter MAP holy shit lol
I said legal, retard. I never said people shouldn't talk shit about you. You started this whole dsicussion bitching about "moralfags" who find loli disturbing, not people who wanted to outlaw the stuff.
>>54612>I said that what is or isn't legal doesn't always align with what is moral and that cartoons shouldn't be outlawed, though it's fine and understandable for people who watch certain types of cartoons to be ostracized socially.
Also true, though ostracization, by definition, is a tool of normalfags and those who ride on top of normalfags. Not weridos. If there weren't normalfags into anime, this wouldn't be a relevant conversation.
fucking kek. so you admit you're just whining that people were mean to you about your loli anime on the internet, who aren't even trying to outlaw cartoons.
Explain the difference between legal and acceptable.
> You started this whole dsicussion bitching about "moralfags" who find loli disturbing, not people who wanted to outlaw the stuff.
Because that's literally what happened. Whether or not that is a good thing depends on your perspective, but it's an objective fact that if normalfags never got into anime this wouldn't be relevant. Whether or no to you think that is a good thing is irrelevant to the fact that it literally happened.
>>54619>Explain the difference between legal and acceptable.
retard can't tell the difference between being arrested and having people call you a pedo and kicking you out of their social groups online.
At what point was I whining? I explained why it occured and why it wasn't a relevant issue. If no normalfags entered the scene this wouldn't have happened. For the normalfags this was a good thing, for the people already there, this was a bad thing. You're entire stance is it's a good thing that the normalfags showed up and ruined what the weirdos like. I don't care either way, since both normalfags and weirdos are retarded.>>54620
I can't, explain to me like I was the retard you think I am.
if you hate loli you shouldn't watch anime. it's just that simple
"normalfags" aka people who find loli gross have been watching and creating anime for decades. deal with it.
Not denying that people who are into loli have also been watching anc creating anime for decades, btw. The two things aren't mutually exclusive.
"yaoi exists so if u don't like yaoi you shouldnt' watch any anime at all. You have to accept all anime unconditionally and send love and support to all anime fans or else you shouldn't like anime at all."
>>54623>"normalfags" aka people who find loli gross have been watching and creating anime for decades. deal with it.
Your point? That doesn't mean lolicon isn't standard or normal in the industry.
My point was to deny your statement that loli should be expected in anime and accepted by all and it always was until an influx of "normies" suddenly decided it wasn't.
It wasn't always, it started in the 1970s. However, that means lolicon has been around longer in anime than it hasn't been in anime at this point. And I never made the assertion it should or should not be accepted, only that the Western anime push against lolicon purely started after normalfags got involved, not before. Whether that is a good thing, a bad thing, whatever, I don't care, it's fact regardless.
>>54619>"because that's literally what happened. "
once again you're just admitting that all that happened to make you so upset was people being mean to you online. No cop cam and locked you up for loli.
>>54629>once again you're just admitting that all that happened to make you so upset was people being mean to you online.
I'm not upset this occured, as much as I have it as the most general example of normalfags entering a space and changing it by being grace of normalfags. I take the staunch stance that both normalfags and weirdos are both retarded.
Oh by the way, this should all have the undercurrent of the fact that Japan really doesn't associate the anime that most people are exposed to with the late night anime that defines the Wests taste as far as content goes. For the majority of Japanese they don't like the lolishit either, it just tends that the anime that was liked by NEETs in Japan became popular with the basement dwellers in the West before the rest became slowly mainstream post Pokemon.
yeah you're right if you don't like the things i like then you should GTFO of my hobby.
Good! Now you're understanding why weirdos gatekeep their weirdo communitites to prevent normalfags from shitting up the place the same way normalfags gatekeep weirdos to prevent them from shitting up the place.
don't you need to be 18 to post here
Yes, your point other than to be petty and stupid?
Hasn't it always been like that?
ntayrt, but yes, in my experience, it's always been like that.
that's why I stopped using it tbh, made me feel ugly.
Today I went on a walk with my mother and some disgusting moid tripped me on purpose so that I would pay attention to him or something. My mom didn't even notice. I know it's a really minor thing and moids are capable of so much worse, but my undying hatred for moids is so colossal that this one little thing was what finally broke the camel's back. When we got back home I revealed my power level to my mother regarding my hatred of men. Instead of sympathizing with me, she told me to get help. Goddammit mom, you're supposed to be on my side.>>54530
Looks like the twittertards got to this thread too. Don't pay them any mind anon. Talk about weird anime shit all you want. I support your right to do so.
i want to make love to all four of them starting with lucy liu
You can avoid it if you are strict from the start. Don't pick up after him, tell him he is being a slob etc. If he doesn't change then dumb him.
I've gone full wine aunt I guess. I drink half of one of these most days after work. It is just a good way to get hammered and tastes better than hard liquor or beer. Why do things have to be so hard, why do some people have to be born worthless and unlovable?
I'm glad I got a moid who does all that stuff for me
I really want my trans girlfriend to fuck me but I'd never tell her that because I know she has genital dysphoria
Kinda frustrating but I don't want to make her uncomfortable
dating mentally ill people isn't the best. does he or she has a penis?
I'm tired of the lockdowns and having to wear a mask even if i'm in the countryside with no one next to me in a radio of 5 meters. I'm also tired of seeing all those nurses and doctors acting like heroes for doing their work and asking the goverment for more lockdowns when this country is poorest than usual since this mess began.
I'm also tired of seeing my mom all paranoid because this virus, so far she thought 5 times she got it.
I also dislike how lots of normies are thinking of themselves as savoiurs and saints for policing everyone's business and spamming "#StayAtHome" on twitter. fuck them.
I FUCKING MISS MY EX EVERY DAY
IT'S BEEN 5 YEARS
WHY CAN'T I GET OVER IT
break up with him and date a normal person then
i feel you kind of, i can't do anything because of perfectionism>>54664
i feel you big time
I'm dissatisfied with my life. I have no friends irl. A couple online. I have no education other than my high school diploma. I broke up with my abusive neglectful ex a few months ago. I hate living in this dysfunctional household. I hate living in this boring city. I hate everything. I'm alone.
I just want to party, I just want to meet new people, I just want the money to go out and to pay for my classes. I'm so bored, so damn bored. I have to do something new otherwise I'm seriously going to get depressed again. I hate life.
>Boss chews me out for fucking things up all the time
>I fuck something else up at the end of the day today that I have to tell him about tomorrow
Should I just end it, why am I so fucking dumb
>>54678>I'm so bored, so damn bored
I feel you there anon, the isolation from this pandemic is killing me mentally and it looks like it's getting worse AGAIN.
Sometimes I feel nothing for my bf, and it scares me. I know I would be sad to lose him.
A lot of the time this anhedonia, inability to feel or feeling of constant boredom, is just a part of depression.
me and the bestie.…
ive got a crush on a cute and cool girl from tinder who lives in the same uni city as me, i definitely see her as gf material and we're planning on having a date at some point but aaa i'm so worried of fucking up and giving her a reason to dislike meeee
This. Anhedonia is usually what tips me off that I was sinking into a depressive episode.
Do not get distracted while eating. Do not try to multitask while eating. Try to eat in quieter environments. Chew slowly and carefully. Be mindful of your jaw and your tongue while eating. Be very careful if you try to lick over your teeth to clean any remaining food out of the crevices.
Use an antiseptic mouth wash on the hurt place. (Yes it burns. :( I'm sorry.) Ask the pharmacy section for a kid's medicine syringe so you can precisely squirt the mouthwash on your mouth injury.
I am so, so sorry anon. I hate that I do this too. I hope any of this advice helps.
Is e-dating even worth it? I have zero success with men who live close to me because I have nothing in common with them and local culture makes them feel emasculated when they find out I'm a doctor.
A few people mentioned it so just in general.
fuck dating and fuck edating save yourself the stress and just get really autistic about your hobbies
How do I deal with the crippling loneliness though?
You're a doctor so men who are e-dating are mostly below your league and will be intimidated too.
get a sexy doctor bf, men who are intimidated by your profession are beta as fuck and not worth your time
BF forgot to renew his antidepressant prescription in time, we had the most incredible sex yesterday even though we're really busy this week and he was super sensitive even to little touches. I don't remember the last time he got hard just hugging me, and it kills me that this can't be how it always is. It could be worse I guess, some people don't even recover from the side effects let alone improve in a couple days, and when I tried Lexapro myself I wasn't able to finish ever. We do have a pretty normal amount of sex but he takes really long and occasionally can't finish at all, or stay hard especially if there's even the slightest distraction, and honestly it's getting difficult to believe I even feel that good to him or can hold his interest. I fear it's like a chore he does to be a good partner because I have told him an active sex life is important to me. Lately the frequency has been dropping too, we should pretty much still be in the honeymoon phase and we're only 29.
The same thing happened when he forgot his prescription another time. At least I know it's not me I guess. Still sucks to probably feel the worst to him out of the partners he has had, no matter what I do or how much effort we might put into keeping things interesting, just because he has to take literal dick numbing pills now. We're in it for the long haul and maybe he could try tapering off or switching to Wellbutrin at some point, now is just a bad time to start messing with things because he's really stressed with his career and the meds do work for him otherwise. Of course his mental health comes first. I just don't know what to do, a lot of the time I'm holding back tears because of how much I miss feeling desired. I wish this wasn't so important to me and I could just focus on other stuff too. I love him but feel like avoiding him and staying clothed because at least then I won't feel rejected at every turn just because of how obvious it is that sex with me isn't on his mind.
>>54739>makes them feel emasculated when they find out I'm a doctor
I hate that there are still so many people who feel like men absolutely must be more successful than women in all aspects. That kind of expectation is just shitty for literally everyone involved.
I think you need to speak to him about this. It's obviously a pretty critical part of your relationship and not all antidepressants have the same libido-suppressing effects. You could even just ask if you and your bf could speak about it to a doctor.
How do I get over the desire to be groomed/manipulated again after all major relationships in my life have been unhealthy?
I always need to be some kind of prey. I feel like the closest thing to ‘normalcy’ I have is wanting to be the one in charge, on a surface level. A guy who acts submissive to me and does everything I want/need, but he also knows how to control me in very subtle ways so I’m psychologically stuck and can’t leave him. No childish displays of power or fake machismo, just a massive web I can’t get out of, that also feels really comfortable, like I’m being taken care of but also can’t leave. That’s the dream relationship. It’d be just like how I’ve grown up, but it’s also so scary to think about.
I can’t afford therapy btw.
date a nurse?
also some guys are into being house husbands unless you're looking for a partner who makes money too.
disassociate the idea that someone taking care of you is the same as grooming you. create boundaries in your relationships because boundaries are healthy and you can start by practicing creating boundaries for yourself, then expanding that to creating boundaries for your close family/friends, then expanding that by setting boundaries for anyone you date.
lrn2vipassana and explore your mind so you can understand your thoughts, where they come from, why they are present, what they want, and how to maturely address them
racked with fury.p…
i dont want to be my mom's friend i want to be her daughter!!!! why is this so hard to express. we're so """"close"""" that she talks to me/treats me like her husband/partner/coparent its weird and i hate it. i just want normal parents
Male doctors either go after other Stacey doctors and be a power couple or settle for a decent-looking female who's down to be a housewife. There's no one left for ugly female doctors.
Well I did it, I ate another muffin. I was just hungry. I guess I'm just a dumb tubbo
Well I love you so there is that
I have not met a single good person irl since I was in elementary school. It is depressing me, I need good friends, good people in my life…
It's probably because your mother is lonely, these things are hard to fix.
i wish i were more compassionate to her situation idk i feel like an awful child bc i know shes suffering and theres almost nothing i can do about it…i can barely be a decent daughter yknow? i think me being her confidante is doing us both more harm than good
oh anon, i know where you’re coming from. don’t feel bad about not being compassionate enough because even if she’s your mom it isn’t your responsibility to fix her problems. further, even though you can definitely lend an ear to hear her out, it’s also not your job to be her therapist or her spouse. a lot of moms don’t have great boundaries with their kids and that leads to the kid feeling guilty about wanting space, but you have your own life and problems to focus on too!
How do people get fat? Eating isn't that fun. Even if you feel hungry it goes away after like 20 minutes. It's hard for me to make myself eat enough in a day. Eating healthy can be harder but in terms of calories I don't get how anyone eats enough to be fat.
I swear I don't have an eating disorder I'm just depressed.
I'm quitting all of the chans for awhile. At least 6 months, hopefully indefinitely. I have it blocked from my computer and locked with a password. I'm a bit nervous because literally the chans are pretty much all of my social interaction these days (because I can't stand Reddit), but it definitely does feel like searching for diamonds in a garbage heap. It's mostly all trash, all negative and it's stuff here that is posted to keep you miserable, to make you feel like shit. It's annoying how addictive social forums can be, especially if you're in my position. But I'm going to focus on gaining other interests, mostly getting back into playing music, reading, biking. Hell, maybe I'll even try to write a shitty book or make a shitty music album. Really, anything is probably better than this though. Even playing a video game or something.
The thing is that I've been mourning a loss of a friendship for the past 4 months. This person was my best friend for 10 years, though our relationship was extremely toxic at the end, I miss him every single day that I get out of bed and I worry that I will never be able to move on with my life. I saw one of his posts the other day on the chans. It was awful. He was talking about how happy he was, how he had so many friends and family. It made me feel utterly inadequate and hopeless.
Right now, I live in a derelict house by myself and while I am no stranger to being isolated, it just sucks.
I need to have the courage to move on, to accept that the door has closed, and to get on with my life. The thing is that I don't know if I'll be searching for what I need forever, but maybe it's better than just sitting at the door that has closed in front of me and hoping that maybe, just maybe, it will open one day.
I am in my late twenties now and I worry that time is running out. I guess today I'm planting a seed, and I can only hope that in a years' time, or maybe in ten years' time, I'll have moved on and I can find peace and contentment, free from isolation and the shittiness that has pervaded my life, especially in the past year since my car accident and my friend's suicide and a nightmare of a graduate school experience.
Wish me luck. Goodbye!
I used to just eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight but since starting a new medication I have been gaining some without my diet changing at all. So I kinda see now how people's bodies can be different
eating feels good. good food can give u a big dopamine rush especially if you have problems with dopamine. eating things that taste good can be fun, especially if theres really nothing else going on in your life. plus its not like you can stop eating forever if it becomes a problem, since you need to eat to live. it can be easy to fall back into old habits. it's flawed logic, i know, but it's true for some people.
If you read this reply you've already failed and need to take it more seriously. Unless of course, you mean just 4chan and stuff and not here.
I love Louis Wain his cats are so cute and soulful, you have great taste, and for this reason you shouldn't hate your self that much. Think about moid coomers who consider sakimi-chan monstruosities as the epitome of art.
i want to stop living in the past. i keep thinking about certain situations and how they could've gone way better (and these "situations" are in truth so minor and insignificant that they're not going to impact my IRL in any way that matters, plus they happened a year ago).
i also want to become a better writer but i have no idea how to.
boredom triggers my overindulgence. also no proper education on how to eat healthy.
Please don't let me be diabetic. If I can't eat sugar anymore I literally don't know how I can live or why I would want to.
I want a cool tattoo but I’d be terrified if i ended up regretting it
Holy shit anon, I feel like I wrote this. I have a legit sugar addiction due to depression and anhedonia. I am horrified of developing T2 diabetes.
Tired of politics and debates and arguments, just wanna grill for fuck's sake. Everywhere I go it's always the same shit.
Just play online games with friends there is no reason to discuss anything there other than the game and casual stuff
PLEASE MANGADEX BE UP AND RUNNING AGAIN I CANT WAIT ANYMORE
It is quite scary. I am the same way. I have had a lot of the signs for a while like being thirsty all the time but I was in denial. My feet started to tingle recently with a numbness that won't go away. I am finally going in to get checked out next week.
I had exactly this.
Then a couple of them got more right wing, and a couple got more left wing, and then it died.
I just wanna have friends I can hang out with.
To make a long story short: I love Spain.
But no country is perfect, and…let’s just say sometimes I think Eddache dodged a bullet.
I feel like my bf strong-armed me into a relationship. I genuinely wanted to be with him at some point but my attraction has been fickle and now I might have to annule this again before becoming completely insincere and before I set us up for failure completely.
He was confused about us waiting to date for a bit and felt impatient. Objectively he is very respectful and cares about boundaries but he felt pretty urgent and intensely about that and it made me feel tense and obligated to escalate our relationship. So I asked him to be my bf to please him one day, also because what we were living wasn't far from a relationship, so I just slapped that label onto our connection. I should've stood my ground and waited though and what I did was insincere. It didn't make me happy to take this step together. And it did hold more meaning than I was ready to assign to our connection yet.
He has very intense needs and is very talkative and needs a lot of attention. We're polar opposites when it comes to energy and drive. He is very energetic and never stands still and I'm recovering from depression and struggle with low energy and drive and more.
All of this would be easier to process and navigate for me if he wasn't in such a bad spot rn. He has a very extreme, shocking life story and still has a heart of gold despite it and a strong backbone and a mind-blowingly well-adjusted, strong, principled, beautiful character. He helped me with my own growth and helped me become a better person effortlessly and I look up to him and admire him for his character. I'm so grateful to have him in my life because of that and I do love his personality and views.
What's troubling him is that he gets exploited at his current job, has excruciating back pain every day for months and on top of that his mental health has been deteriorating. He has developed extreme health anxiety and thinks he's gonna drop dead everyday and experiences difuse anxiety and is becoming more and more depressed. I help him wherever I can and he helps me too but it's a lot to bear and witness. We do have a strong support system in each other.
My sexual attraction to him however is shriveling up completely at the moment while he still flirts with me intensely and I find myself being attracted to other people. Either that's classic triangulation or fantasy or me exploring my options.
I'll probably fess up and talk about it with him soon but I'm already dreading it. I'm also kinda pessimistic about it all and wondering if it can work out at all and I feel bad for my physical disinterest. Idk. Maybe it's just a rough patch and working through our differences. Maybe we're just not a good match and I promised too much. Maybe sex isn't all that anymore and I need to change my priorities. Idk.
Yeah, for a looong time I’ve had frequent urination, fatigue, irritation (diabetics can be irritable due to poor sugar absorption). I once convinced myself I had it and could barely sleep for 2 days until it got confirmed I didn’t have it. Still terrified I will give it to myself, but I can’t quit sugar. Good luck anon, please update. <3
that's tough i'm sorry anon…this is what i'm afraid will happen if i ever manage to fall in love. if you do end up talking about it make sure you're gentle about it because it could feel humiliating to him i suppose. keep us updated and good luck
my mind feels like its always one level above "going fucking bosnian mode" and it seems like im having the same 4 anxiety-stuffed thoughts every minute of every day and i want to commit papercut
holy shit, thank you for reading my wall of text. it felt good to get out. relationships are scary for sure but my experience doesn't have to be yours, thoughtful anon
I hope one of these days you can go full Bosnian mode in a relieving and self-preserving way and papercut the bs out of your life. I feel you
What the hell is bosnian mode?
Bosnian mode is hulk mode, duh. get it together noni
I’ve been with my bf for 2 years. I’ve tried to tell myself that I’m not asexual, but I think I am. I don’t know what to do. There are no asexual men. I think I will have to fake it till I make it in order to not die alone.
Well, do you love him?
I ask this because I know a lot of lesbian women who ID'd as "straight but asexual" before realizing things.
Also, there are definitely asexual men. Not a lot, but they exist. Also x2, it is better to be alone but happy than with someone but unhappy.
I do love him. My love was especially powerful at the beginning. Now not as strong since he left me, ghosted for 2mo, and then we got back together. The pain was excruciating. I still love him. Sometimes I feel nothing for him though (random moments in my day) and it horrifies me. Typing this is so hard because it makes it more “real.” I don’t think I coild EVER tell him this. He just thinks I have a low sex drive. I have never experienced attraction toward other women though.
>>54902>There are no asexual men.
There are some men who claim to be, at least.
Whether any of them are telling the truth, I can't say.
Even then, I couldn’t bear telling my bf he wasted over 2 years of his life.
Better check your hand and tell him now than risk wasting 3 years or more.
I think i will just get myself to have sex honestly. Im not sex repulsed, just indifferent. I love him too much
If it's not a negative experience for you, do you think you could tell him that you're asexual, but that you want to continue the relationship anyway and accommodate his needs as best you can?
It might still hurt him, considering that for some people giving pleasure is as important as getting it, but ultimately I've heard about asexual people managing to have successful relationships with non-asexual people.
If he can't deal with it, then it's better that it comes out now than even more years later, but either way it might be better for you than keeping it bottled up.
I think that’s a good idea. Thank you anon. I will think that over.
NTA but I wish you the best of luck.
Two days is not a long enough weekend
I hate my sister and I hate her friend. Her friend is a family friend, which makes it worse. Fortunately my parents don't chat with them much. I don't like the family, especially the daughter. They just scream of fake.
Ever since returning back home I have noticed my sister's behavior has changed into a more passive aggressive type. She's worse than before, a sneaky piece of shit. Her friend has always been like that, she is influencing her a lot. It's sad. But it was bound to happen. You can't change their perspectives. Nothing. Let them be.
how does everyone deal with the realization that genuine relationships (friendshipts too) are as common as unicorns while being below average in looks and "too quirky"
i wish i was a male, my weirdness could be more easily accepted this way
instead i have to put up with pity distant friendships where if you start being too talkative and involved they'll try to avoid you to not be associated with you too much
i come back to this realization every other week and it always hurts so much every single time even though i already know this deep down
I just looked up the national ranking of the high school I went to and it's in the bottom 25%. I always knew it was bad but I'm actually shocked.
I guess it's not the school itself that is surprising but that my parents sent me there. I remember even begging them to send to a better school because I hated it so much and them pretending they couldn't afford it. My mother even said years after I graduated that she wished she had sent me somewhere better once she could she how badly all her children did. She never actually would have though.
I always knew my parents never cared that much about me but I suppose I find this shocking as I'd thought that academics was one of the areas they had shown me a bit of attention, but no.
It just feels like they made me be 3 paces behind everyone else in everything growing up: academically, socially, appearance, hygiene, abilities, living conditions… I'm thankfully out of the situation now but I still feel like I have so much catching up to do compared with everyone else just so that I can feel average.
I know they say smart people flourish anywhere, but from my school only a handful of people went to good universities and no one is doing anything enviable now. And the ones that did all came from the better backgrounds with the most supportive parents. I never stood a chance.
I relate a lot to that feeling of being behind. I was smart but I'm so socially retarded, all my life milestones came so late compared to my peers.
All we can do is try to build up from where we are. Comparing yourself to other people isn't productive.
I don't know if I'm just lucky but I've had a few really solid friendships despite being both unattractive and having a contested autism diagnosis, I still haven't been in a romantic relationship though and I'm almost 30
>try on a dress
>looks cute, fits fine
>cut off tags when I get home because autism (the texture bothers me)
>wear the dress to work and I start to notice how awkward it feels (too short, feel like I can’t move around too much)
>go back today to return it
>I wait 10min just for them to say they can’t do the return because of the missing tags
>so irritated I just go “ok then you can just throw them out” and storm off, leaving them with the clothes
>forget where I parked and wander around the parking lot on the verge of tears
I’m so pathetic and mentally ill. Sometimes I get so pissed off I am afraid one day I’ll actually have an explosive “Karen” moment. Just started Abilify for anger issues so we’ll see..
Listen anon, I was just like you few years ago. From ages 15 to 21 I was a total edgelord, with autistic interests : fall of yugoslavia, playing assfaggots, medievaboo, slavaboo, and also tumblr tier feminist. I had a weird clothing style and unflattering haircut and glasses, which made me look like a dork.
People found me smug and uncomfortable to be around, I had no friends at uni for a long time. Now, I have no trouble getting along with coworkers, and I have few good friends, which is enough to fulfill my social needs. I'm sure you don't want to be an extroverted social butterfly either.
The thing is, even if you don't have a model facial structure, you can make yourself not uncomfortable to look at with some grooming. That doesn't mean that you have to dress like a souless normie : just dress in a flattering way. You have plenty of ressources online. At some point I got fed up with looking bad, so I tried to make myself look decent, which succeeded, despite a shitty jawline that make me look like I'm fat or have bulimia cheeks.
Behaviour wise, it's not having weird interests that will make people dislike you. It's the way you engage about them. If all you can talk about is why Baby is superior to AP, or something, people outside of your interests won't be able to relate. And will find you annoying. It's pretty simple, you have to get interested in normal life stuff, like going out, relationship advice, traveling, whatever. Stuff that you can share with anyone the create some basic bonding over. Then, ou can slowly begin to talk about more niche subjects, and see if people are receptive.
Same. I am wholly opposed to sex. Not only have I read enough pessimist philosophy to be convinced of antinatalism, but I think people in general give sex undeserved precedence. Contraception led to hookup culture which means no enforced monogamy and sex becoming cheap and losing its association with love. To me it is just a burden. It is a hedonistic impulse consequent of the will to live. The fact I could disappoint my partner in bed, or vice versa, making the relationship unnecessarily awkward, is a con that no pros can outweigh
I think i just lost my phone on public transit anons, when i called my number it wouldn't answer. I just bought it a month ago too, fuck, i hope i can get it back because i cannot afford another one.
>>54945>fall of yugoslavia
The Kingdom of Yugoslavia or SFRY? If it's the former I am so sad I don't know you IRL.
I had my phone got lost before, the people were so cold when i asked abt my phone so im really panicking right now. Im so scared anons, i really am….
my fiance cheated on me with a fucking troon. the least passable troon you can fucking imagine. and bought coke from the guy and pressured me into doing it. apparently they didnt physically do anything before the guilt apparently made him ghost but they were trying to get girls in for a threesome. he was talking to a lot of girls. i found out over vacation and my heart has been at the bottom of my stomach ever since, i don't even know what to do because i depend on him in every conceivable way and now i feel like ive been trapped and lied to and he knows what i would have to sacrifice to leave him so he just has the nerve to do fucked up shit to me. ive built a life on top of this relationship and its crumbling because he cant stop fucking cheating on me. on top of this, my grandmother is dying and she's spending her last months addicted to painkillers and gambling away my mother's inheritance and lying to everybody about everything. easter she kept making me go into the bathroom with her and sit there while she drooled all over herself spacing out like she might as well have dementia and i wish it was something she couldn't help. we don't even have time to get her un-addicted because she'll be dead before she ever wakes up to the mess she's made. my mom has to go through the process of having a will made and a burial plot secured and her alcoholism is peaking worse than it ever has. turns out my grandparents aren't even married.
Sorry to hear all that anon.
>my fiance cheated on me with a fucking troon
You need to bin him, even if it means moving back home for a bit and staring over.
>on top of this, my grandmother is dying and she's spending her last months addicted to painkillers and gambling away my mother's inheritance and lying to everybody about everything.
Just try and be there for her until she dies. It’s her life and her money. It’s frustrating to see the inheritance go like that but I think it will go to her husband, not your mother.
>my mom has to go through the process of having a will made and a burial plot secured and her alcoholism is peaking worse than it ever has.
Try and be there for her too and when everything is over, try and nudge her into recovery.
Saying all this, you do need to do what is best for you too.
Do you have any Find My iPhone type of service on your phone? Maybe you can also try contacting the transit company. One time I lost my keys on the bus so I checked their website and they had a phone number for lost-and-found inquiries. Turns out the driver found my keys and kept them safely.
Nah, I was obviously the kind of autist that got interested in yugo wars with remove kebab and roki vulovic memes. At least it made me learn about stuff, i guess.
You can wear lolita without posting pics of it online publicly.
Well, it's not like I'm disinterested in that but for a while I became totally fascinated by the KoY, like the politics of it, general life there, alt-history where it wasn't destroyed etc. I honestly think it's such a tragedy of history.
I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of leaving my house, driving, getting a job, interacting with moids, school. I know I need to expose myself more but I just never want to be an adult. I act like a little kid a lot and it's pathetic. Ik I need to get my life together
Did I write this post?
I feel the exact same way anon. I've been NEET since I graduated high school and now I'm too scared of reintegrating into society. I know I have to face the music eventually though…
I've had some Karen moments because of mental illness too. Don't beat yourself up about it too much. Besides, Karen is just the trendy new lingo for confident women.
How do you survive in your hometown when it's frankly shit? I live in such a passive aggressive atmosphere, businesses are sketchy as f. There are no social scenes, entertainment is non-existent. We don't have a movie theater! No one cares about each other, everyone focuses on their lives (that's pretty much everywhere, but c'mon this is a small place!). Ugh, I can't wait to move elsewhere. I hate the culture here.
I had one when I had to return to living with my abusive parents for a bit. I can see that I was under a huge amount of stress at the time because of this.
It's been a few years but I still cringe about it regularly.
I grew up in a town like this. Best way to survive is either to find a good friends group you can see regularly and hang out at each other's homes, or find a lot of solitary hobbies you can do like nature photography, bird watching, walking, reading, gardening, etc just to keep busy.
i feel ya. lets hope we both make it
Bird watching sounds nice! The birds are chirping again and it's pretty sweet to hear them. Thanks for the advice anon!
E-bf is going to go on a 10-day long motorcycle trip. I'm going to have absolutely no one else to talk to and it happens to coincide right when my exams end. How do I keep myself occupied aaaaaaaaa
He's probably gonna fuck lots of random girls
Now why would you say that, Anonnette? I think we need to sit and practice our mindfulness exercises.
she's projecting, or looking out for you. hard to tell which
I wasn't the original anon but I wanted to say "mindfulness exercises".
I wonder when I started going into this black hole. I wonder when I passed the point of no return. My future went dark a long time ago but I'm not sure when.
I used to be noided like this but I eventually realized there's no point in expending energy constantly worrying over other people's actions. Living in fear is bad. Just immerse yourself in your own autistic bubble of hobbies and work.
Suddenly it feels like I have a future but also I don't know why I feel detached from myself like I used to.
moved in with ldr bf and it is going so well.
You've coped with dissociation for so long you forgot how to associate with yourself on a normal basis again.
I'm so sorry. I thought we were vibing. I am just really lonely. Fuck…
my mom offered to pay for a rhinoplasty or something for me. i have a very big nose but for some reason horrible sense of smell and she thinks the shape of my nose could be affecting it. im conflicted because my nose is very distinctive and combined with my tallness i sometimes think i look really cool. but then i look at photos and see a goblin from most angles. idek why my nose is like this because no one else in my family has this thing, other than my grandma's being kind of bulbous it wasn't a humpy beak too like mine. but i mean it would be so embarrassing having people point it out or posting pre-surgery pics, like i might as well live authentically looking the way i always have. on the other hand, free nose job???
Bf admitted to me that he has slept with a 17 year old girl when he was in his early twenties. He's from Europe and he told me that it's totally normal and not stigmatized. I don't know how to feel about it.
It's weird either way but how early in his 20s are we talking?
Then that's really weird, even though aoc in my country is 15, age gaps like that are frowned upon here, and not common at all. It would be completely normal if he was 19-20, but 25 and 17? What a creeper.
To add onto this, there was a 17 year old boy in my school who had a 24 year old girlfriend. It was the only minor-adult couple I knew about. Of course he was made fun of, and his gf kept telling him to keep the relationship a secret, apparently she was abusive as well. But she didn't get into trouble at work as far as I know, it was just socially awkward and not approved of by parents.
25 isn't early 20s. It might not be illegal in Europe but it would definitely be seen as super weird and sketchy.
Not tolerating it kinda makes me feel like a hypocrite because I have current friends who lost their virginity to older guys while they were underage,idk
why would he tell you about that…and why are you dating an old man?
Not illegal in most euro countries but not normal/unstigmatized. Maybe more accepted in some Eastern Euro countries (Spain also had very low AoC until recently). Western Europe no way, people would find this weird in France or Germany, Scandinavia, etc.
If you’re not 100%, don’t do it
It’s creepy. More acceptable in places where feminism isn’t such a thing yet, but since you speak English (and I’m assuming he can too), he should be more educated and know it’s not right. The fact that he’s trying to lie about it so you accept it is just as bad.
>>55108>i have a very big nose but for some reason horrible sense of smell and she thinks the shape of my nose could be affecting it
Rhinoplasty is a cosmetic procedure, isn't it? Something like a deviated septum could possibly affect smell, but that'd be an internal problem with the sinuses and something to talk with a doctor about.
Would you feel differently if she had been 18 instead of 17?
Is it the girl's age, or the age gap between them that's putting you off?
Age gap. Aged 17/18 is still in high school or just left, and living at home, while 25 is old enough to have left college and get a job and an apartment.
The 17/18 year old is going to have no money, no life experience, and be very desperate to please an older and seemingly sophisticated bf.
The 25 year old will know how to be manipulative and push boundaries. He will expect someone with little or no sexual experience to behave like someone with several years worth and the 17/18 will know this.
Also, when you are 25, 17/18 year olds still look like kids. Why would he want to fuck someone who looks like a kid.
What do you mean? You have never talked about past relationships with a long-term SO? >>55128
Well, he lost his virginity very late like 23 and was a late graduate in his late 20s.
Still creepy, he can't relate to people his own age so he goes after kids
Your boyf being a late bloomer makes it a little more understandable to me, he would lack a sense of propriety, would be immature himself and would be caught up in the excitement of it, but it's still extremely weird to me that he is presenting it as something normal.
I could understand it in the sense of:>I was immature ended up in a relationship with 17 yr old, that was really stupid and ignorant of me
Not:>I ended up in a relationship with a 17 yr old, btw this is totally normal in my country and there's nothing wrong with it
I am from a European country where this is more or less common but I still would not like it if it was my boyfriend. But at least he told you, so at least he is honest and knew you'd probably not like it and wanted to come clean.
Realize that it turns out different parts of the world have different understandings of age of consent is an inherently artificial construct.
I don't actually think age gaps like this are wrong in theory, but in practice they almost always are fucked up due to social realities and also the fact that moids are disgusting creeps. Did he just sleep with her or was it a relationship? If it was just sex I'd think he's sleazy and kind of gross but not more than this, but a relationship between a high schooler and a 25 year old man is just odd and I'd be worried about possible fucked up/abusive behavior.
i hate my moms family so much. i was sexually abused as a kid and they pretend like nothing ever happened and continue speaking to him and letting him around children despite knowing what he did. "oh but he goes to church anon, hes a changed man" i get so furious sometimes thinking that this fat fucker got away with it. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. i hope they all die horribly and slowly
Tolerance for male degeneracy is also an artificial concept.
I have no one and no reason to keep going, but I am too scared to die.
Correct, your point? The only thing stopping moids from raping us wholesale is the artificial constructs moids put on themselves.
I recommend suicide by the most slow and painful method possible. Pursuit of dreams.
If you feel empty inside, go try illicit drugs until you either get drive to do something, have your addiction be your reason to live or get enough bravery to kill yourself.
You’ll cut yourself on all that edge
Find a reason to live? If you don't want to die then that's your only option left. Of course, you could just live the rest of life going through the motions like a zombie but at that point death would be better.
My mom doesn't take my feelings seriously and it pisses me off.
>>55162>telling someone to pursue their dreams is edgy
buy £70 worth of makeup and you can anon
true but it can hide them pretty well
if you're charismatic enough people can overlook it as well
I want to catch the bus but I hate the thought of my family having a funeral for me, my tombstone being placed next to my father and them “visiting” me for time to time. Will I avoid this if I kill myself in another country?
Samefag but I just want to disappear and never exist
don't do it ladie, everyone has a future, no matter the situation, everyone has a future
>follow twitter accounts who hate my ships
>go to reddit to read negative opinions on any topic
>read comments under controversial youtube videos
>lurk degenerate imageboards full of misogynistic, racist doomers
>rinse and repeat 24/7
My brain is so fried of this internet crap, but I can't stop seeking it out. Happiness isn't real, only negativity is.
Block out that stuff, there are browser addons that do that
I think you should take a break from the internet for a while and focus on real world activities. Could be a sport or some other hobby. Maybe learn some useful skills.
living at home makes me feel stuck in a way I am unable to articulate, because it's not like I had anything going for myself before I moved back in. My parents bickering makes me upset like a little kid, and they do it every day. I feel like my family is made up of lesser people, I feel like they're all simple and small compared to me. It's not a fair assessment, maybe I'm just narcissistic, i don't know, all I know is any prolonged time spent being aware of my surroundings in this house I feel like i'm being bathed in mediocrity. I feel as though I've been groomed to be a featureless, gormless creature through a life of repetition.
I have no real reason to be as depressed as I am anymore and I lash out at the world around me to feel vindicated in my meaningless existence
For me I don't like going back to old places, it feels like I'm undoing personal progress somehow. As soon as I moved out I never wanted to go home again. Haven't been to any of my high school reunions. It makes me uncomfortable to look backward. Maybe you are like me?
I'm the same. I don't even keep in contact with people from old places.
doesn't matter whether one has been in a relationship and shared past experiences…that's already a red flag, that 10 year gap.
Eww, wtf, was he really 25? I think you should leave him. If he were 20, I think it would be fine, but 25? His brain is fully developed at that point, he's taking advantage of her.
Being the younger person in these relationships is completely different than being the older. It's understandable a teenager would be interested in an adult, it's completely weird and creepy for an adult to engage sexually and romantically with a teen.
>>55227>His brain is fully developed at that point, he's taking advantage of her.
This makes it sound like the age of consent should be 25 in that case.
Honestly, it probably should be. Women’s bodies are better developed for childbirth then. No one is going to follow that though.
If no one is going to follow that then maybe age of consent has 0 things to do with maturity and relies on some other dimension for what's actually trying to be accomplished.
Like an idiot, I spoiled myself again. It was a huge fucking plot point this time.
Shit I do this too. I can't help but spoil myself on all sorts of shit.
long hot day working in front of an oven and i had to wear a jacket the whole time to cover up rainbow bruises and self-inflicted bite marks like the fucking psycho i am. none of my suffering has been my fault before so im almost liberated that this time i can actually blame myself and feel like a human being for once instead . ive sinned and hurt the love of my life and its a heavy feeling but i don't have a better way to punish myself other than these bruises. but i wouldn't've done it if he hadn't ever hurt me. regardless i feel hated, despite how he tells me im not. finally someone sees how much i deserve to be hated. i deserve to be hated and beaten to a fucking pulp.
Some of these really make me mad. I still get mad knowing I spoiled the killer of Persona 4 for myself. I also spoiled Danganronpa 2 although there's a million small twists in that game that were still enjoyable. I did manage read Harry Potter 6 & 7 unspoiled though
I spoiled myself the entirety of Evangelion 3.0+1.0. I dislike it, but dislike it more that there won't even be a decent camrip for months.
The grown man who groomed me when I was in highschool was so hot. He was the epitome of my type and years and years later I still think about him and miss him even though he was emotionally manipulative. He also had a fat cock. He's married and has an infant daughter now. Hope she doesn't ever meet a man like her father.
I masturbate in this position in my computer chair. My thighs are really sore today from doing this last night. But it feels weird any other way
How the fuck do I keep up conversations in DMs?
Ive been trying to make more friends that I talk to one-on-one since most of my friends are in group chats, but it's just so draining interacting with new people.
I always feel that i'm the leader in the conversation and that they're just there to nod along as I talk, or give one emoji answers when they get the chance.
I'm not even looking for deep intellectual conversations, I just want someone who will "yes, and?" things that I say sometimes.
I post on imageboards, i'm definitely not some sort of social butterfly, but I didn't think that normies would be so bad at talking.
What's the trick? Where are the people who actually want to put in the same minimal amount of effort into conversation that I do?
Find someone who wants to practise their English.
>>55352>I didn't think that normies would be so bad at talking>normies
Likely the issue is this. ime norms lead conversations easily in real life, but suck over text as a general rule.
My best experiences have been with other awkward weirdos.
Where do you find awkward weirdos is the question
I met the love of my life when I was 21. We were on opposite sides of the planet, but still came together and I knew he was someone I could spend my life with. We made all kinds of plans, but as time went on they seemed less and less realistic. Eventually we admitted to each other that being together would take years, luck and a lot of money neither of us had. I was willing to wait as long as it would take, but eventually neither of us could afford to even meet anymore. Eventually he told me he didn't want to see me alone and and waiting for him. We fought and broke up, thinking this was his way of saying he wanted to date other women without needing to confront me. I started dating immediately out of spite, and after about 2 weeks he ghosted me. 3 years later, while living with and dating a guy simply because I'd be homeless otherwise, I rediscovered a mutual friend and learned my ex had become successful and found a girlfriend…after being single all that time. I was living with a slovenly idiot in a relationship of necessity, meanwhile my ex had his own house and high paying job. I was so angry and depressed I avoided all information about him.
Another 3 years go by and my life is finally in a better place. I have a stable job, money, a place of my own ect. Feeling nostalgic, I asked our mutual friend what was happening in my ex's life and it turns out his girlfriend died almost a year ago. We talked about him, our breakup and she told me he'd admitted to her that even while dating, he had never stopped loving me. He had no intention of dating other women, he just wanted me to be happy. After that I contacted him for the first time in all these years, and our chemistry is still there. When we talk I can feel that same love and attraction we had.
Now I'm faced with a dilemma. We love each other, we can finally realise our plans of being together and we're both still young enough to realise our other plans of having a family together. The problem is his previous girlfriend. I don't know if I should just wait until he broaches the subject of getting back together, maybe just coming out and saying it, or choosing some kind of point in the future where a mourning period has passed.
I feel like I deserved to get bullied at school. I was kind of annoying and cringe and cried too easily. Even though I learned to stop expressing myself too much pretty quickly I was still an awkward loner and my hygeine wasn't the best either. I don't really blame the girls who would pick on me.
:( I kind of know what you mean. There are some hard lessons you get from bullying. But you didn't deserve that and neither did I. You just learned from hardship the way you're supposed to.
Oh my goodness this story is crazy. What a twist of fate. If I were you, I would wait for him to bring it up. You've waited for years; I'm sure you can wait a little longer and he will reciprocate when the time comes.
I post my art online and the crowd that attracts is always weird people, so that worked for me. The most talkative internet friend I ever had was because of drawing. Discord servers have always been a bit intimidating so I can't give advice on that. But just joining a community centered around your niche interest (on any platform really) and interacting with similar accounts could net you some pals.
Maybe your local con/anime club/gaming group/other dweeb gathering is a good place to search irl, too. Just swap contact with people you click with and it may work.
Tbh I'm wondering where you meet so many normies. Classes? Bars? Bumble?
I can relate. I was a mean-spirited little shit at that age and I needed to learn a lot of lessons. I just wish they didn't pick on the stuff I have no control over.
The fucking titanium dioxide in my tinted moisturizer has probably settled because it wasn't like this initially but I look like flashback Mary without the flashback.
I need to lose 50 pounds but junk food is the only thing that makes me happy :/
Being skinny feels so much better than any junk food you can eat! You can lose weight and quickly with fasting so good luck.
I've been experiencing low libido for about six months and it has been increased by birth control. Which I stopped two months ago and now I just have problems with lowered sensitivity.
Which would be fine if I wasn't in a relationship. Honestly when I'm the mood and it just doesn't feel as good just fucks with me.
Its probably mostly me gaining weight and depression. So when I don't want to I usually just tell him to do it to porn which I know is big no-no. There's only so many times I can say do it to thoughts or pictures of me.
Are you actually repulsed by sex or just not turned on? Maybe you can work out something like you kissing him while he strokes?
I haven't been working hard on any on my classes for the past semesters. I just feel so unmotivated to put in work and almost everything is being turned in last minute. I've been sleeping like shit too. I go to bed late because I don't want to wake up knowing it's tomorrow.
Are you receiving treatment for depression? Because you have it.
No you didn't and no one else who were/is the same. Don't listen to the other posters, they don't know better. Your parents or guardians should be the ones responsible for not navigating your emotions and expressing them in a healthy way. Sometimes they don't know any better or were just plain neglectful. No one deserves to get bullied, no matter what.
I have been jumping ships for years because I'm always too different, I don't belong anywhere and it hurts to feel so alien.
Everything is just a mess. It's all giving me headaches.
Unsure if hallucinating this or not but signs point to yes as I am continually smelling pee no matter how many times I shower or change what I wear and I am not peeing myself. My family would tell me if I smelt like pee constantly but they do not and I am afraid to ask as I know I am probably just crazy.
I do get psychotic and hallucinate at times so would not surprise me.
Some skincare products contain urea…maybe that's what you're smelling? Depending on what skincare you use.
Not that my skincare is seriously lacking anyway all the showers are making my skin worse sadly.
i feel like i physically can’t focus on anything anymore and it’s affecting a lot of areas of my life. i’m getting behind on schoolwork and even when i try to read a book or watch a show or something i just can’t get into them. my friends don’t really talk to me so all i do these days is lay around
Mangadex bby please come back, I miss you.
I'm driving my first car with tinted windows. It is kind of scary. I can't see that well out the back or rear passenger windows.
Try not to drive at night. It's like being surrounded by complete darkness.
I just wanna have a lot of care-free, dirty sex with someone hot everyday but alas …
WHY DO I MAKE MYSELF TOO SCARED OF FAILURE TO TRY ANY HOBBIES!!!!!
Oh no it's me. The thing is I wasn't like this before COVID put everything online, I just can't cope with managing all my classes by myself in my room. It sucks because not having to physically go to class has been great. I spend all day wasting time doing things I don't even find fun and then I have breakdowns about how much I am fucking up.
> My partners sister hates me because she doesn't like women in general and labels herself as a trad NLOG while being nothing but a NEET who reeks a lot and throws tantrums
> I wanted to get close to his little brother, just to end up watching her dramatically going no contact with my partner and making a 17yo kid take care of her BPD
> I still try chitchating with him about some anime or JRPGs, but we can never truly spend any time together because she always lurks and controls it. We can't play anything together, only politely going "haha someday", because she is a sleepless woman that starts playing "mental illness" card, which she's been doing ever since the moment I met her. She is being a rude bitch - it's her depression, she doesn't want to pour water on a tiny plant that is three steps away from her - depression.
> During Christmas she also bought 5 gifts for each family member on purpose, that were thoughtful just to end up gifting me a notebook off AliExpress and a cheap deodorant pack for my partner. When I actually ended up gifting her a cute and soft bed set that was actually thoughtful, because I do not give a shit about throwing petty public dramas like she does.
But damn .. I am so FUCKING TIRED of all of this. I just wanted to be accepted. I wanted to have a good friend. I miss my family but I can't contact my mother or my siblings because I went full no contact with mother, thanks to her alcoholic and abusive ass that wanted to sell me to people.
I never mean any drama, I always treat people with respect, but the fact that I am dealing with this pettiness and never ending passive aggressiveness from a woman that is 6 years older than me is fucked up. If only you've seen her during the phase when she copypasted my internet existence and would buy knock off outfits of my own outfits from Chinese stores. I am so sick of it. I just want a female friend irl to talk to, but with COVID I got none. I could be talking for hours about this shit but nothing would change, I will still keep getting emotionally destroyed by her. She always tries to exclude me out of family conversations or events on purpose, knowing that I am all alone here.
I'm not. I grew up with a 'suck it up' father and he expected everyone to be happy when he was around and always do what he wanted all the time. So I learned to just hide things away.>>55589>>55629
I've been like this for a while because of family issues but COVID played a big part. I like the aspect of not having to be in class too but month after month I lost hours to watching videos and playing games that I'm not even really engaged in because at the back of my mind I'm thinking about the amount of work I have to do and when there's an attempt my mind screams at me to do something else when I log into class. I missed yet another discussion this week and haven't worked on this big presentation.
This is the one thing I need to do right since everyone thinks it's the only thing I got going for me and I'm still fucking it up because I cannot focus and feel empty everywhere.>>55609
Thanks anon. I wish everyone good luck too.
I miss having dyed red hair like pic related, but it was soo hard to get out and I'd probably regret it because I have virgin hair that took forever to grow out. But whenever I see pictures like this I miss it because it looks so cool
I’ve almost completely fallen out of love with my boyfriend but am too scared to tell him. I don’t enjoy his presence anymore and I find myself feeling irritated by his company. At the same time we have been together over 5 years and leaving him and getting back into dating seems so intimidating and I don’t want to hurt him. I have no idea what to do. I want to leave him but feel I can’t.
What specifically bothers you about him?
Don't torture yourself it's not fair to him or you. You already know what needs to be done. I think he'd at least appreciate you telling him you don't love him anymore than continuing on like you do.>>55628
Perfectionist maybe? That's how I am too.>>55349
I understand. I can only masturbate on my stomach while grinding on my knuckles with pajama pants on. If I do it in just underwear it hurts because it's too much pressure.>>55305
That makes me think of the men who I shared nudes with when I was a minor. Why is it they only teach us it's only ugly, fat, & socially retarded guys with a white van that are pedos when it's also conventionally attractive guys who sometimes have families of their own.>>54954
Do you really want to die not doing what made you happy in fear of what some greasy-haired autists with yellow teeth might say about you? Come on, anon. Do it.
I'm kind of sad because I don't have the right body type for certain outfits so I have to work with what I got. Oh well.
MANGDEX IS STLL FUCKING DOWN??
my boyfriend doesn't care that i'm anorexic and isn't sexually attracted to me
Why is he still your boyfriend
because he's perfect for me otherwise and i just can't let him go
i want to be 5'1", extremely cute, and have a nice body. i wanna be wealthy and spend my time doing forum rp, learning how to draw, and pretending to be a femboy in online mmo games instead of toiling through uni.
on this note i wish i'd watched these lectures last weekend instead of waiting until now. there's so much work to do and i'm here shitposting lol kill me x
where my mentally ill, terrible self-haircut queens at? dyeing it tomorrow.
i wrote something mean about this but decided not to send it.
The only bad haircut is the one you spend money on.
Thank you anon. Would’ve had to pay at least $40 to get it cut.I wet it and it dried looking a lot better.
I wanna hang out with my bf already. I hate my government.
lol here I am. I’ve been cutting and dying my hair since like 15.
For cutting hair get the creaclip. That thing is actually awesome. I just don’t do anything crazy big hair chops.
My online boyfriend who lives on the other side of the world recently confessed to me that he lied about his age the whole time,he wasn't 18,but a 16 year old boy
And i don't care,he's the love of my life and the person i want to spend my life with,i don't care if i have to wait 2 years or more for him,i know he feels the same way i do,i have no regrets
i've been on a waiting list for therapy for two years now and hobbies just don't substitute love for me. i don't think i can handle being on my own; i start to become deranged.
how to find friend that share the same fate with me a.k.a people lonely like me? i think i have close friend but im so jealous whe she post photo with their highschool friends.
If you're like 18-19 yourself, I'd understand but if not, you're fucking stupid. Have you ever met a high school boy??? They're idiots.
He might be a young coomer with a mommy fetish too, if he's trying to get a much older gf online.
Im ashamed to admit this but he's way more mature and mentally stable than i am,he already has a goal in life that he's actually putting work on,im just a NEET that has no long term goal in her life,well,i do now,and its to spend my life with him
And no i can assure you he doesn't have a mommy fetish,he's actually pretty dominant and masculine,but at the same time,soft and lovely,at least with me
Honestly,he's just actually "out of my league",even if he's 16
It's been over a year since I officially broke up with my ebf and cut all contact with him and he still has my drawing from four years ago as his pfp, even while seemingly found another artist egf whom he interacted publicly with which is something he never did with me he still has my drawing, I'm so annoyed I need him to take it off.
I also drew a pfp for another dude whom I was friends with for a short period who caused me to leave a server because he kept harassing me without anyone doing anything but side with him and take his strawman bait, he too has my drawing as his pfp still, why do men do this and why am I still drawing free pfps for people for free for who don't deserve it.
I'm scared if I contacted either I'll look immature and stupid, but seeing them in my face annoys the shit out of me. it feels like they're doing it on purpose at this point…
it looks fine it just needs some styling snd light touch up.
I think I’m developing a cuckolding fetish. I keep fantasizing about forcing my bf to watch other bigger men having sex with me while he jerks off in the corner or licks my clit.
Delete them from your contact list
Don't put your life in his hands. Because making life goals on a 16years old boy is not the best idea you can have. You'll get depress everytime something bad happen, or break up.
I agree with >>55769
16 year old boys are cute and can be fun to date but they aren’t looking to settle down long term at that age. Make sure you have a backup guy..
I get bored of and fall out of love with every guy I like after the honeymoon phase is over, and I’m worried I won’t be able to have a long term relationship because of it. I can already feel myself getting tired and losing attraction again. Pretty sure I have some undiagnosed form of adhd.
literally what is happening in this picture. Koreans are really masters of unnerving social dynamics
It looks like she's kissing a guy while she has a second guy in a headlock using both her arms.
you are still a nonce, don't bother with the jailbait wait shit
Regardless of the "good qualities" this literal child still has he's still a child, you're just a lonely woman looking for purpose in life and i assure you no 16 year old will give it to you
also if the moral aspect doesn't deter you, if he's actually "out of your league" he'll likely find a girl closer to his age irl instead of wasting his teenage years on an LDR with a fully fledged adult
Based. I hope you find some other goals too though, just focusing your life on someone else like that can cause things to deteriorate quickly. A job might make you feel better, even if it’s just something small.>>55806>he’ll find someone else
Contrary to popular belief, men can form attachments to the women they are with and decide not to upgrade to a “better” partner. The fact that he’s young and lacks experience and is acting emotional with her just makes it more likely that he will become attached. Is it possible that he will end things and move on? Yes. That’s true of any relationship though. In the meantime, she’s found a cute boy who likes her. That’s rare enough as it is. She should enjoy it. You sound bitter, speaking about morals as if a normal loving relationship is wrong because you have been brainwashed to believe age gaps are only okay if the man is older.
who says that being against a 21 year old woman dating a 16 year old boy means that you’d ignore a 21 year old man dating a 16 year old girl? the age gap is too big to work either way
Break-up. As well as being too big an age gap, it's a huge lie and who knows what else he is lying about.
>>55815>the age gap is too big to work either way
Based on what exactly? Most relationships fail, regardless of whether they are the same age or not. So what? You believe it is a moral issue. What is morally wrong about a 21 yo woman dating a 16 yo boy?
It's illegal is some places.
who is this? he looks so familiar…..
He's a 16 yr old MAN. There's nothing wrong with their age gap.
thomas brodie-sangster. he was a child actor and was in the queen's gambit
I broke up with my bf in october, but because he didn't do anything wrong, and I just didn't feel anything anymore, we broke it off on good terms
He still texts me daily, and we're friends. it's obvious that he still likes me, which I don't care about since I already made it clear that I won't be with him again, but I'm now in a dilemma.
He's being too clingy. I don't hate him, but seeing legit 20 messages in a row after not responding for an hour makes me so mad.
I love when people gush at me about things they like. I wouldn't care if he got in the zone and gave me a long dissertation about something he found interesting that takes 20 messages to get across, but the messages will all be like "anon, hey!" Over and over.
Not only that, but he's recently began bringing upthe past when we dated, and mentioning how sad re-reading our old interactions makes him.
Whenever he'd say something that I dislike, I just wouldn't respond, sometimes for days until he mentioned something else, but it seems he never put 2 and 2 together and would just keep doing his the same thing a day or so after I began replying again.
I'm losing it, it's only a matter of time before I go off.
I need a nicer way to say "listen, I don't mind talking to you but we're friends and that's it. I hate when you bring up the past since we both know how I feel about you currently. I hate picking up my phone after being busy at work for an hour and seeing a ton of notifications that don't have anything interesting being said. I'm so close to just blocking you."
Help me word this so I don't hurt him too much. He doesn't have many friends and i'd hate to just explode and leave him with no one to talk without giving him any warning about my distaste of his recent behavior.
Sorry for the text wall
I've been in your bf's position and it's really not a nice place to be. I think wanting to stay friends with your ex when you're the one who lost interest/broke it off can also be kind of selfish in a way like "I want only the good parts of our relationship, if only they'd just stop having all these inconvenient feelings everything would be fine?" You should realize just establish distance, he is never going to get over it if you talk every day like that. Of course the person who still has feelings is going to want to say yes to keeping you in their life, since they love you, but it just generates constant pain and false hope, kind of like being emotionally held hostage. Maybe being friends would be possible in the future after you've had some distance but you aren't doing him any favors right now. He is being pathetic but your presence in his life isn't gonna help him get better.
I agree with >>55852
100%, I too was in that position and for me and probably for your ex it felt like I was kept for a chance again and it was a temporary short break. cut the pain and drop all contact with him.
Block him for his own good. He absolutely has put 2 and 2 together, he's just desperate and in pain and clinging to anything. Say you're uncomfortable with the level of contact and you feel he's unable to move on.
Why did you break up with him anon?
>>55852>>55854>>55855>"I want only the good parts of our relationship, if only they'd just stop having all these inconvenient feelings everything would be fine?"
I didn't see it like this at first, but now that you say it blatently, it kinda does look like that, fuck.
I don't really have experience with this, since i'm usually the one who gets broken up with, and he's the only one i've had to deliver the bad news to.
Cutting contact seems like the objectively best way, but I need to figure out how to word it.
Thanks a lot for the advice, I probably would have just kept delaying the inevitable otherwise.>>55856
I realized that e-dating isn't for me, and that i'd like to be able to hold the person of my affections whenever I wanted.
There were no hard feelings from my end, and it felt like absolute shit to break up with him. he didn't do anything wrong himself. It was just rough for me being head over heels for someone but being unable to actually interact with them. You can only do so much stuff online you know?
It would be legit years before I could see him in person, and I couldnt see myself waiting that long.
I don’t enjoy what I’m studying. Every time I study, I just feel frustrated because I keep making mistakes. But I’ve already dropped out to change paths once, and there’s not even anything I enjoy anyway. Kill me
Currently pondering would I get caught if I skipped my 2 hour shift because client (I'm a personal assistant and I mostly help handicapped people to do recreational stuff) is throwing yet another tard rage fit and telling me to fuck off and every time we do this dance where at first she yells at me to leave and after a while just goes "I'm nice now" the less and less I look forward to meeting her.
I would quit working with her but my wage is shit and this is the only housing unit where I have two other clients on the same day. It's hard to get a lot of hours in because clients are so spread out thus I need every hour I can muster.
Currently lounging in the restroom and pondering should I just browse on my phone here for the rest of my shift or just leave and not give an explanation to her counselors.
I can't fucking wait to get back to packing airplane trolleys, at least the hours and wages were enough to pay bills and save money.
last night I dreamed I was in my ex's arms. I want to kms. It's been 2 years. I'm probably never gonna find anyone I like ever and I'm too mentally ill anyway. The thought of never being able to feel the warmth of someone I'm comfortable with ever again shouldn't be this painful
If it's before everything on 4chan started getting archived you have even less to worry about but it's always possible someone saved it at the time
Regardless I doubt it'll ever come back to bite you even if someone did, think of how many people have posted face on 4chan before
As someone who's looked for stuff I remember from 4chan in the archives, far back enough they are very spotty and images are usually inaccessible. You obviously can't protect against an autist saving the pic and obsessing over it, but what are the chances that would ever affect you? You are probably fine.
If you’re really paranoid you can do these things:
-Reverse search with different engines/sites
-Use a 4chan archive to find your original post and search for the same filename on all the boards
-Report/DMCA the image on the archive
If there was nothing remarkable about the image and you’re not well-known I wouldn’t worry about it affecting your life though. There are probably a couple weirdos who could’ve saved it but there’s nothing you can really do about that.
If anyone asks about it, say you didn't post but sent the pics to a friend who must have posted them or that they were stolen from your social media or something. That happens a lot.
I have irritability problems and I hate it. Before I went to bed (me and bf were videochatting), my bf asked me “you’re not mad at me right?” and it fucking broke my heart. I never want him to even worry that I’m upset at him. I love him so much. I hate my brain. I feel so bad.
Hey, let's talk, what do you like to do?>>55951
Tell him what you just told us, he will understand, it will stronger your bond.
People say you're supposed to change so much from your teens to your 20s but I'm almost 25 now and I feel mentally the same as I was in high school.
i think I got cheated on … again, but I don't know what happened specifically
He went behind my back and hid a girl from me that tried to be FwB that he turned down for me, and went through methods so I wouldn't find out he's talking to her again… but I found out anyway
He admitted to it, but won't give me the details and the ambiguity and lack of closure makes me feel incomplete.
He tried to manipulate it by turning it on me and said "yes I was hiding her, but I would have told you EVENTUALLY" like that's going to help…
I wish I just knew what happened… It's driving me crazy. The only way I found out I was being cheated on in my last relationship was by swallowing my pride and messaging the girl, luckily she was understanding. I've thought about doing it with this girl but I'm embarrassed
I just feel sad… he didn't feel remotely guilty
my boyfriend treats me like shit but my home environment that id move back to is (slightly) better but still just as bad because my mother and her boyfriend are always arguing. i dont know what to do and cant afford to live on my own. im thinking of moving back home when i can because i cant take being treated this way then being gaslit and told im playing victim. he made fun of me to his friends, insulted my mother because she misunderstood something (despite the fact shes spend tons of money on him and us and helped us out with our kittens and offered to help us pay first month rent) fuck wahtever theres so much then he says im just trying to argue when i try to defend myself or call him out… he makes me feel like such a fool. i just want to be happy and focus on school or getting a job and i should probably move back home but im 20 id feel like a loser and lose having my own place and my kittens and id have to deal with them arguing hahaha i dont know anons i feel really suicidal again i already left the hospital last month for attempting suicide because of how he was treating me
i know this makes me sound stupid but its not easy to just leave. both home environments are bad on my mental health and im constantly guilttripped by him and stressed out and i was always alone when i was home. i have so much stuff id have to find money to ship back home and id have to leave my kittens he wont allow me to keep (we split paying for them)
I was in a similar situation. I didn't want to break up bc my family was toxic, but living with them is way better than being gaslighted and having my self esteem destroyed. 100% worth it
I would move back and then try to find a new boyfriend.
my bf is pushing me to get fatter. context im naturally skinny and I also probably have ed
It worked and now I look healthier, though this is according to him. Recently I saw a picture of myself 2 years back and looked at my most recent picture, the one I used to send to my bf and I realize how fucking disgusting I look right now I'm not comfortable however I have never been comfortable in my own skin I may sound overreacting to most of you but I need some advices please my bf is my best friend and I cant even tell him this I dont know what to do I feel so miserable
Bouncing into a new relationship after leaving an abusive one just to leave your parents house faster is a terrible idea. She's likely gonna be in a low place emotionally and could easily get into the same or worse situation all over again. She should just work and save money or find some women to room with. Don't give moids that kind of power in your life.
Well, if her new bf is also abusive, she could just move back with her parents again.
The changes in personality and such as you age are gradual, and hard to notice unless you're focused on them.
I've become more open with my thoughts and ideas now that i'm 24 compared to when I was 18, making starting conversations with strangers a breeze.
I'm sure there are things that you can do without a single bit of hesitation that you couldn't do before, but you won't notice it unless you're actively thinking about it in the moment. Maybe give a look at previous chats with frieds, and see how you'd reply now compared to how you replied then.
Going into your 20s usually means starting to live on your own and people in the process grow up. If you're a Neet though you wouldn't get any of that
I messaged her, god, my heart is beating so fast. I feel sooooooooooooooooooooooo fucking vulnerable and embarrassed
good luck anon. I hope nothing bad happened.
I hate students who obviously haven’t studied, and ask really obvious questions to the teacher and waste class time.
I'm not a NEET I'm in college, and I've lived on my own in dorms and college apartnments.
More than them I hate the students (always moids) who have some really dumb idea or tangential conversation and take up a lot of classtime talking to the teacher just because they like to hear themselves talk. It's never something that adds to the class either.
You're basically describing me minus the moid part and I feel unreasonably guilty
God I haven’t experienced that but it sounds enraging. We’ll JUST be about to start a quiz, when a bunch of students who obviously did not study will ask very basic questions they would’ve known if they studied. So I’m just sitting at my desk doing nothing because the teacher is too easy on them. I just hate people who waste class time reeeee
I watched the leaked season finale of Amphibia. All I can say is I'm very sad. My ship is sunk
I love fandom but sometimes it's a pain in the ass interacting with the newcomers.
This but I'm even madder at the people that demand I be nice to new people. Fuck you if you think some rando who's seen like 3 films has an opinion worth listening to
There are a couple of stoners in my current (online classes) who constantly ask about stuff we've already covered in the course which they just legit don't remember 2/3 weeks later. It's so tiring to have class resources wasted on them every single class.>>56037
Stop doing it? NTA and I don't mind if it's productive but you really don't have to use class time for this. Email the tutor or something or set up a discussion group.
I'm not actually keeping the teacher from covering material on time or anything but also I've literally never seen that happen so I don't know if that's specifically what you're complaining about. What is your criteria for whether or not talking about something in class is good or at least harmless? I may or may not qualify
Was driving fast in a parking lot like an idiot and almost hit a fucking car
i can't be fucked to type this out properly i'm green-texting.
>unprepared for two of my finals. highest i can hope to score in one is a c
>feelings of loneliness are creeping up on me again, want to form connections but i can't.
>poor, only like ~6k in the bank, living with parents, want more money.
>live in the u.s., so college is costing an arm and a leg and i'm worried finaid won't come through.
>did i mention no friends?
>i'm boring as fuck
>22 this year and no skills or talents
>majoring in compsci; don't know a programming language fluently
>>56070>6k in the bank>living with parents>poor
i have student debt, and this wouldn't last me two months in the city i'm stuck in (so if anything happens to my parents, i'm fucked). also, my parents are on disability, because they're two broke vets. we're far from rich
it's to the point that i don't even have an internet connection outside of my phone, i have to use it as a tether. definitely grateful that i'm even able to do this, but yeah. being poor sucks
>>56073>i have student debt,
Student debt doesn't actually matter unless you make enough money for them to bother you about it.>and this wouldn't last me two months in the city i'm stuck in (so if anything happens to my parents, i'm fucked)
6k is plenty enough to fuck off to somewhere else that isn't a shithole city, unless you're "stuck" as in don't have a car, then I have news for you how cheap the used car market is.>also, my parents are on disability, because they're two broke vets.
You have two veteran disabled parents and you couldn't write enough sob story essays to scholarship and grant your way through college? Really?
>it's to the point that i don't even have an internet connection outside of my phone, i have to use it as a tether. definitely grateful that i'm even able to do this, but yeah. being poor sucks
Ah, this is a stupid problem not a poor problem, gotcha.
Why the fuck are you even in college? To work one type of shitty job instead of a different type of shitty job? You don't sound like you're naturally interested in comptuers so are you in that for the money?
yeah nonny, i'm gonna buy a shitty-used car for $300 (and pay $1000 in repairs for it), move out of the city my uni is in to some bumfuck flea-infested town so i can scrape and bleed for a living a few more months than i would have otherwise, then
be broke as fuck and have to live paycheck to paycheck with a job @ like mcdonalds because i spent all my $$$ and sense on following your advice. thanks.
>Why the fuck are you even…
duh retard. why does anyone go to college. you can only have fun here if you're rich.
like, idk, should i major in like english or art history instead? graphic design? psychology? i'm trying to get employed so i can ESCAPE my shit situation. highschool was fucking terrible for me for a plethora of reasons but chief amongst them was an abusive mother (who didn't believe in mental illness, so my dyslexia/add were not diagnosed until i got into uni) and bullying. scholarships were not in the stars for me; i could not focus on school. i know some are strong enough to pull through such things, but i definitely was not.
get fucked nigger you don't know my life
adding on to this, it's absolutely senseless than university is so expensive
in the states. you shouldn't have to pay 20k a year.
the only downside i can think of that comes from uni being free is that more people would probably enroll just to enroll; but a lot of them would be filtered out by upper level courses anyway.
t. someone who took discrete math, a circuit design course, and calculus 2 + stat in one semester. like 10 people dropped from circuits, and this a class we have to take for the major. they aren't majoring in compsci anymore. it's all fucking terrible
>>56077>yeah nonny, i'm gonna buy a shitty-used car for $300 (and pay $1000 in repairs for it), move out of the city my uni is in to some bumfuck flea-infested town so i can scrape and bleed for a living a few more months than i would have otherwise, then be broke as fuck and have to live paycheck to paycheck with a job @ like mcdonalds because i spent all my $$$ and sense on following your advice. thanks.
This is so superior to being a miserable wageslave in a bustling city where you too can mill in and out of buildings all day and make 100k a year spending 80k just to live in that area while rural retards make 50k a year only spending 20k to actively live where they are making them effectively 10k richer than you, but oh joy, I really dig the mexican-korean fusion foodtruck that I eat at once every month so the cost of living in a rat race is 100% worth it.
>duh retard. why does anyone go to college. you can only have fun here if you're rich.
Because you actually care about what you're studying?
If you just wanted to make money, learning a trade like being an electrician will net you the same amount of money with substantially less student loan debts because instead of being some white collar loser among dozens of white collar losers in a hive you can go anywhere you fucking want. If you just want money there are so many better ways to go about that.
>like, idk, should i major in like english or art history instead? graphic design? psychology? i'm trying to get employed so i can ESCAPE my shit situation. highschool was fucking terrible for me for a plethora of reasons but chief amongst them was an abusive mother (who didn't believe in mental illness, so my dyslexia/add were not diagnosed until i got into uni) and bullying. scholarships were not in the stars for me; i could not focus on school. i know some are strong enough to pull through such things, but i definitely was not.
Study what you actually want to study, if you wanted money college is a helltrap that suckers retards like you that don't actually like doing anything into "getting a better life". What do you do in your spare time that is productive? It doesn't sound like you shit out code, so I have hard problems understanding why you are going to subject yourself to 8 hours of torture a day being someone else's code monkey, and an incompetent one at that. If you get even half fucking decent grade the first semester you could have flounted that shit over every scholarship absolutely begging people like you to apply to throw money at your sorry stupid ass. Did you even try or did you just assume? Being poor counts for a hell of a lot more for scholarships than good grades I will tell you that.
>get fucked nigger you don't know my life
So far everything you have written falls completely in line with what the average midwit gets fed by society today and falling for it hook line and sinker and it's pretty much exactly what I expected you to say.>>56078>adding on to this, it's absolutely senseless than university is so expensive in the states. you shouldn't have to pay 20k a year.
It only got this way because retards like you
fell for the "get educated to get money" concept. Cue an ever increasing arms-race where idiots who were never meant to go to college to learn or research and instead view it as "job preparedness" flood the system ever year trying to escape their retardation.
>the only downside i can think of that comes from uni being free is that more people would probably enroll just to enroll; but a lot of them would be filtered out by upper level courses anyway.
In most countries where college is "free", colleges filter out purely by how stupid you are instead of partially how stupid you are, unlike in the US where community colleges will take basically anyone with a GED and without a felony. Considering you have described yourself as doing badly in High School your sorry ass would never have made it into college in the first place.
Hell, thinking about it, if you were absolute deadset on the "go to college to get money" nursing is vastly superior and has a vastly better job market as nurses are needed fucking everywhere. Then you wouldn't be competing with the hyper-autists that write linux kernels all day when they aren't jerking their micro-penis to hentai. Why aren't you in nursing?
My fiancé worships me. He sees me as a goddess. I’m annoyed by it. I don’t want to be put on a pedestal like that. That pressure is too much for me. How can I live up to his expectations if they’re grandiose in the first place? I don’t think it’s healthy. I don’t know how to gently break the news to him that I don’t like the way he views me. I’m only human.
One last of thing, if you're in it for the money, why the fuck are you not networking your ass off? Do you think just having the degree will carry your sorry ass? Do you know how many code monkeys have a hard time finding decent jobs that don't suck ass without having referrals? If you truly are here for the money, and truly only care about getting a good job, you're second job after schoolwork is to get your ass talking t as many people as possible for possible jobs in the future. You want to look as competent as possible so that when Stacey interns at daddy's company before getting her full time job, you can ask her if there's room for your sorry ass there too.
you sound like a faggot and i'm not reading your essayposts. have sex
You sound like someone way over their head and going to burn out and flames and wonder why you tortured yourself endlessly for no real gains, but too late, the debt is and will always be there.
hope finals go well for you, nonnie! everything's been kind of fucky thanks to covid
All I want in life is to be as pure as a nun and block out gross thoughts. I don't want to succumb to animalistic instincts. I want to push those feelings deep down inside of me, repress them, never think a single nasty thought. It feels like it's crumbling down despite all my efforts…
It's not healthy to consider your biology as an enemy or immoral
Hate to push you on it, but could you tell me a bit more? I get sexual thoughts sometimes but it makes me feel gross. Like physically ill. It wasn't always this way but something happened after high school when I started getting depressed all the time.
It's better than the alternative which is to become a degenerate coomer who thinks about nothing but sex 24/7. I will choose a path of purity over that any day of the week.>>56094
What would you like to know specifically?
The fact that you think it's one or the other is a problem. Coomers have an unhealthy a relationship with sex too. Just embrace and accept how you are without obsessing and making your life about it. Even obsessing about being "pure" is still basing your life around sex. Sexual desire is just a part of being alive and it's really not that big of a deal. It's like hating yourself for getting hungry or tired or sad sometimes.
Like, do you get physically ill thinking about sex like I do? Or are you more just disgusted with yourself from a moral perspective?
>>56077>majoring in English
Yeah haha who would do that
I'm so fucked
>order burger for dad thru ubereats
>call restaurant; ask them to separate the vegetables and the burger itself
>veggies separated; but no fucking bun
i could tell i was speaking to a dumbass teen over the phone. this is his attempt at being funny, i bet. i literally hate moids and this shit place better refund me
It may be unhealthy but I pride myself on my restraint. Besides, it isn't like I'm ever going to get together with anyone in this lifetime. So I should just turn full on asexual by practicing repressing my thoughts.>>56098
I don't get physically ill unless I think about explicit images. The act itself looks disgusting so I don't blame you for getting physically ill. For me, it's more of a moralistic approach to the topic. Not religious, but trying to move beyond fleshly pleasures and distract myself with more productive things instead of fantasizing about sex or thinking about sexual thoughts and feelings. I could do without thinking about my crushes. Men are a distraction. I want to spend my time thinking about other things.
I’d say, the ones that waste class time are when a student brings something up about their personal life that is not going to be helpful or useful to anyone, when they start theorizing about the material being taught in a way that isn’t helpful (e.g. it’s not going to be in the quiz or homework), or when a student asks extremely obvious questions that they would’ve known if they studied at least for 5 minutes.
You seem cool, being a nun is cool too. Battle against impurity is a good thing, although impure thoughts cannot be eliminated completely. It's about not acting on them and saying to yourself "no, this is not nice, I don't want to think about it" and shifting your focus. It's a gradual process, I know that closing oneself off completely sounds great, it cannot be done. You have to shift such thoughts somewhere good every time they come, to the point where it becomes second nature and not a problem anymore. I believe in you! (also finding people attractive is not an impure thought, when it moves onto other worse
things, then it's time to shift. think of attractive people as a part of natural beauty, same way the trees and mountains are)
I pretended to be into some kink I wasn’t to try and get closer to a guy, but I basically memed myself while feeding into his fantasies, and now it’s actually starting to turn me on. I won’t elaborate on what exactly it is, but it’s pretty disgusting.
I don’t seek out porn of it or anything, and it doesn’t excite me outside of the specific scenarios he’s into, but I still feel conflicted. I know it’s all just fantasies, but I hate being so malleable. I wish I was firmer about telling him I didn’t like it. I don’t know how to tell him I want to stop now without alienating him.
I know you don't want to say but exactly how bad is it?
take a hard stance and say no, if this guy is into such gross shit he likely isn't worth the time anyway
I hate to rain on anyone's parade. But honestly, I'm done with kinky guys. It's fun while it lasts, but in the end you realize you're just dating another degenerate coomer using you for his sexual gratification.
Protip, he will eventually get bored of the current kink and only get into more disgusting and degrading fetishes as time goes on.
Me in the shades.p…
I finally did it
I stopped being a weenie and finally sent him the message after days of hesitation.
He sent many messages in return, but I have not and will not read them.
Thank you for the help!
I feel like I have no motivation for anything anymore. All I do is harass males online, play the piano and lie on the floor.
I’m so ugly I hate it. Every time I feel like I look ok something breaks my confidence. I have these squinty eyes and this wide face and this terrible chin and wrinkles on my brow that I’ve had since I was 17. There’s probably troons out there that are better looking than I am. My fiancé tells me I’m beautiful and I’ve only gotten compliments irl but I know it’s not true. I look so bad in selfies and photos —literally like a retarded adult. Video is a bit better but I’m still too fat on top of it all.
I just hate myself and I wish I could eat myself to death. What’s the point in restriction if I’m still ugly on top of that?
Sounds like you're just not photogenic to me. You're fine, especially if irl people compliment you, especially unprompted.
The two aren't mutually exclusive, you can look good but not take good pictures.
I don't think i'm an uggo, but I don't take pictures since I never look good in them.
Is it possible to find a polygamist chad and become a sister wife without any of the gay religious bullshit?
no, but it is possible to find some self respect
You can cut the judgy “I know better” act. I have my reasons, and not one is for lacking respect, unlike some.
Polygamists are just afraid of commitment, and hide it by saying they prefer multiple partners at once. That's a pretty pathetic thing to support, not gonna lie to you.
You shouldn't go down that path, it'll only lead to heartbreak. You can't romantically love more than one person without picking favorites.>>56153
I don’t believe in love to begin with and don’t really care for being a favorite anyway. I just want a family without having to devote too much time to sex/chores/talking. If it doesn’t work out I can just divorce him anyway.
yes, by telling you to get some self respect, I am lacking in self respect myself. flawless logic.
I kinda like lolis sorry
tomorrow is going to be extremely hard. i'm going to visit my grandma who is in hospice. my fiance is going to be with me and i'm so glad i won't be alone but it's going to be so hard not to fall apart. the worst part is i don't have any longterm goals right now and she doesn't know what's going to become of me. i'm at the lowest point of my life just trying to keep my shit together and she'll never see me peak. and she keeps asking and asking what im going to do and i have no answers for her at all because i want to do everything and i have all these pipe dreams that i throw around like "im gonna be a doll maker" "im gonna be a musician" "im gonna be an artist" but in actuality i cant even drag myself out of bed most days. even worse for her is that im not a christian, i'm not living a wholesome life for jesus like all her other grandkids - even though im her only actual biological granddaughter. she's said to me her last thoughts will be prayers for my salvation. she's going to die disappointed in me and i don't even have time to prove myself to her now. i don'twant to go see her on her fucking deathbed she gambled away the house so now i cant even go to her house when she's gone the only stable home i ever had growing up. i dont want to go there knowing its the end when i never even really got to say goodbye to how it used to be… her drug dealer sleeps in my fucking bed
Me too but only lesbian loli. Itou Hachi is based.
Sorry to hear that anon. Is it possible for you to make something up? Like new job or applying for a degree/masters in something she’s approve of? Or even just pretend you are thinking about it and ask her opinion?
Maybe somebody really could like me
I might try okcupid again
Lolis are cute and only for love and protection
Anyone else have buying/returning OCD/compulsions?
I get the urge to shop until my bank account is empty when I'm stressed. Sometimes I return things.
It used to be a really annoying cycle but now that I'm aware of it, it's actually a nice indicator that I'm unhappy.
>>56197>I get the urge to shop until my bank account is empty when I'm stressed. Sometimes I return things.
Fucking yes, that’s me. Ugh. I wish I wasn’t so impulsive. How do you cope anon?
Just realsing what is going on and putting things on wish lists for a few days until I can work out what things I genuinely want and what I'm just buying impulsively. Also having a pre-made wish list of useful but moderately priced things that I can buy impulsively without guilt helps too.
Having much more money these days but less opportunities to shop (practically no online shopping where I live) helps a bunch as well.
Thank you anon, I’m going to try that wishlist idea out.
How do I tell a long distance friend in a polite way that I don't want to reconnect with her and don't want to talk about our mutual depressions?
I just don't want anyone or anything in my life right now.
Speak your sincere feelings. Unless you hate her, I doubt you sincerely want to hurt her. Do you?
I need to do a debate later this month and every single time I've had to talk with my webcam on I've turned into a sweaty, shaky, stuttering mess. Is there any over-the-counter drug or something I can take to knock me over just a little so I can still read the script I've written but not feel scared? I'm legit terrified and I really don't wanna do it but it's mandatory.
Don't recommend me shit like cold showers. I need something that's bound to work.
I miss you mom. Wish I could make you a card the way I always did. I am doing a little better now than I was last year, I am still alive and trying.
The most guaranteed strategy is exposure therapy with someone you trust.
I have a few days and I'm a schizo hikki. I don't feel comfortable getting on camera with my parents or closest friends, either.
try drinking or smoking weed before going on webcam. very light dose that's just enough to get you buzzed but not turn you into a giggly slurring mess
I’m so fucking anxious all the time. I’m so scared.
Should I just tell her exactly what I wrote? It just sounds so mean written out. I don't know how to word it in a nicer way.
If you don't have time to talk to other people you certainly don't have time to test out a drug you've never taken before either.
If what you wrote was sincere yes, if she is at all rational she will understand, if she's irrational, there was literally no way of breaking this to her nicely in a predictable manner. You can't lose either way.
My friend got a short haircut and then came out as "trans/non-binary" using "they/them" pronouns. I have no idea where the trans part comes from considering she doesn't want to be a man, and I don't really understand the point of non-binary. From the outside it just looks like she wants to LARP as an anime boy when she feels like it.
I don't understand why you would want to force people into using awkward unnatural-sounding English around you. She's still a good friend I want to continue being friends with so I'll respect whatever she wants me to call her but I just don't get it. I'm pretty sure most people are going to think of her of a woman anyways, I'm not sure how having a select few lie to you out of politeness is supposed to be empowering.
Idk if it's changed or if I'm outgrowing it but farmers do seem more hostile lately. Farmers just make up shit to nitpick about
>omg shayna's armpit looks like a vagina!
Or they infight constantly for no reason, see: the bisexual/lesbian thread anons going at each other for no reason. It gets exhausting, CC is way more chill as of late even if it moves slower…
I don't read lolcow anymore but follow another board with tons of appearance-focused posts. The nitpickiness is crazy there. So many women with body image issues that they take out on other women. Kinda glad I wasn't exposed to such cattiness in my teenage years.
I wish I was creative.
Engage in your hobbies or find some new ones to try out, you can find communities through hobbies and make some new friends.
Keep conversation with him short, for example if he asks how you are say “I’m okay” and don’t elaborate too much.
You could just drink like a couple of shots before doing it and then you don't think about it at all
I gained weight from stress eating and i look horrible
my skincare routine aaaaaaaaaa
Do you think you could change his views?
mind sharing the name? curious
I have pelvic floor issues due to sexual assault. My husband knows this. After sex I started leaking pee everywhere. I was deeply ashamed, but he really liked it because I couldn't control the muscles and I don't know how to feel about that.
Have you tried kegel exercises, anon? Doing them could help with your muscle issues if they bother you too much.
that's strange on your husband's part and I'm so sorry that happened to you. I have pelvic floor issues as well from having a baby. Kegels really do help and aren't all that hard to do, it's just hard to remember.
did he think it was squirting or did he know what was going on?
I think you're beautiful girl
you're cool for who you are
Therapy. Get it.
I hate my disorder, I hate that it makes it impossible to talk to my friends when I need or want to and how it makes me want to pack up everything and disappear when I feel the slightest bit of anxiety.
>>54608>yeah, if a guy only gets his rocks off to a haikyuu character i'm not going to assume he'd also be fine with sucking his bros off.
not even a good analogy, being gay doesnt mean you want to fugg your friends lmao. if a guy faps to 2D men who have the appearance of a man he's at least bi. it's the same with lolis who are specifically created to have childish features, although they dont resemble real life children they do have traits of a child and if they don't start out as pedos i'm sure they'll eventually become one. It's only a slippery slope. Nearly all actual pedos i've met online are into lolis. Being a pedo doesn't mean that you plan on fucking kids lmao, it just means that you are sexually attracted to kids.
>>55128>17/18 year olds still look like kids.
How American do you have to be to believe this? Pic related is 17 year old Johnny Depp, in what way does he look like a child and not an adult to you? Once puberty ends, any further changes to the body is due to ageing(which isn't the same thing as growth), do you think 25 year olds get wrinkles and grey hairs to the point when they don't look like 18 year olds(who have finished growing)?
I have a boyfriend who is quite perfect in theory but i can't get over how unenjoyable i find talking to him. It feels like i'm doing a chore. And the weirdest thing is i can't pinpoint what it is about him that makes me feel this way. I can't change his personality anyways, but maybe it's because wish he was more charming, fun, unique and interesting. I know that I'll be heartbroken if we break up, so that's off the table. But now that I'm dating him, we can't i fall in love?! It's such a waste of my youth, dating boys but having no romantic feelings. I wish i yearned for him, had him constantly on my mind, day dreamed, always wanted to call and talk, etc etc… Our relationship is still objectively good, probably better than most normie ones but i often feel slightly off in a negative way when we talk.
Pic related is Johnny Depp at 25 years old, he looks the same as when he was 17 in the first pic I posted. What changes in looks are you expecting to happen between 17 and 25?
If you don't love your boyfriend, why would you be heartbroken if you broke up with him?
Because he's still a good friend and we are very close. I can share everything about myself or my life with him (and vice versa), plans for the future i want to experience, etc. I also have separation anxiety. Maybe i do feel some type of love in actuality but it's not anywhere near what i know i can experience.
Does he know that you seem him as a friend more than as a romantic partner? If not, I think that's a little unfair, as he has different ideas about your relationship than you do. Do you think it's possible for you to remain friends with him if you do breakup?
My replies might seem a little harsh. I want to emphasize that it's not your fault that you feel this way, you can't force yourself to romantically love someone you don't. I'm not telling you to break up with your boyfriend, but if you do, the both of you might have a chance at finding different relationships where mutual romance is involved.
>>56347>>56348>>56350>Once puberty ends, any further changes to the body is due to ageing
Exactly….from 17-25, 8 years of aging happened. You're still slowly growing and changing even if you started puberty at 8 or 14. You can definitely see his features got sharper even in those old, low-light, static pictures. People mistake 14yos for 20yos more often now due to the same popular clothing choices, stores selling more revealing clothes, makeup, etc.
You're not a pedo for being attracted to someone you thought beforehand was an adult and/or around your age. You are
a pedo if you know their age and go after a 17 year old while you're 25.
I have been having homicidal thoughts every day since I was 14 and I don't think I can talk to anybody about it. I know I'm not just a psychopath because I wasn't like this as a kid. It didn't start until my household became extremely violent. I don't know if it's normal or not.
I'm not that different from her
Which part of me is wrong and not good enough
I wish I could have been born a normie and could just stop hating myself
Love is expressed in many forms, anon.
What you feel and what you're describing are just two different forms.
When I fall for people, it's never that head-over-heels mushy stuff. For the lack of a better word, love feels like a sort of possessiveness. Like I don't constantly think of the person i'm with, but just them being around me, and not free for someone else to take makes me happy enough.
You'd clearly be crushed if you two weren't together, and to my knowledge the relationship had a good, non-abusive start. i'd call that love if i've ever seen it.
But you know yourself the best, and if you genuinely feel like it's not working then don't hesitate. From the outside however,
Tl;dr: You're just as valid even if you feel that you're not as openly affectionate as other people.
Navigating this really complicated friendship and more under so much strain for the both of us has been incredibly difficult but today, my friend and I had a break-through of sorts. I feel like we're finding a new normal and we have both worked and tried so hard to see it through despite all our hang-ups and hardships. It's been an emotional rollercoaster but we've been showing up consistently for each other and taking it one day at a time and focusing on the positives and prioritizing each other's well-being. I strongly challenged some of his mental troubles the other day which was an intense and uncomfortable ordeal but he has rewarded it today and said that he appreciates it. I love my friend from the bottom of my heart.
Such thoughts are not normal, but not putting them into reality in any way is the more important part. Still, it's something to talk with a therapist