koi to uso.gif
my mom thinks im going to get a good job right out of university just because i'm going for computer science. i really wish she'd stop bringing it up every ten seconds to everything with a pulse, it stresses me out so much.
she also says stuff like "she's gonna get a good house in a SINGLE year xDDD" just stop it man. i told her it'd probably take me another year / year and a half to even graduate and she looked like a slapped her
ok so i told her very softly and gently and she understood. this made me sad but has also inspired me to self-study some stuff over the summer. god bless bros
happy for you, anon. keep going at your own pace and stay healthy, alright?
All work from home I can find is shitty and soul wrenching but my autistic ass can't work customer service or pass job interviews for irl jobs for shit.
just found out that bras actually make your boobs saggy and its not a myth, I wore bras all my life since I was 11 and my boobs are so ugly and sad I sometimes cry when I look at them in the mirror, I feel like absolute shit IDK what to do but I'll try wearing bras less hope it helps.
Reminds of those moids who do meme exercises in the vain hope it will fix their horrendous jawline
You could try doing more chest exercises, such as push ups, since muscle naturally sages less than fat.
You could also try losing weight if you have some extra, depending on your body type you might not lose it from your chest, though.
mewing actually works, though, in my experience. It won't make you go from looking like the virgin to the chad from the meme, but it did help me breathe better and expand my palate enough that I can feel more space between my teeth when flossing.
you can also see that jaw atrophy (reverse effects of mewing) exists in people with bad posture or mouth breathers.
oh, nonny, you're good, you're fine. I'm sorry this hurts so much. You're beautiful the way you are. I hope one day it will be obvious to you and you can love yourself. I know it's hard though to accept your own body. Extremely hard. I'm sure noone who cares for you would nitpick your boobs.
i want to kill myself
that doesn't really help me at all but thanks
Sorry, I’m kind of bitter about some people I know personally that threaten suicide for attention. I don’t know you so I shouldn’t put that on you
i understand what you're saying but i'm not threatening suicide and there's no point in trying to get attention when we're all anonymous. i don't have any friends or family that i can turn to when i feel this way so i'm posting about it here. weirdo.
If I don't kill myself I'll regret it down the road
i'm tired of being alone. i wish i had friends. i wish i had someone to play games with and talk to about things. i've been in bed crying for at least an hour now. i fucking hate my life.
i've been my own friend since i was a child. i don't want to be alone anymore. i want friends.
I'm also suffering in CS. My mom tells me things like>you should go work for VMWare, they're a good company!>Apple is a good company to go for, but I would avoid Google
Like any of those places would even bother giving me an interview. I did manage to find an internship at a mid-size company though, I'm hoping that once I finally get some work experience I'll feel less inept.
Has Abilify made any of you gain weight? I just started taking it and gained weight. Feels bad. I’m going to stop taking it.
I’d offer to be your friend but I don’t know if you’d want a random e-friend among other reasons
It's really gonna be okay, everyone has a future
Flunked another semester of college, I just stopped going halfway through despite having good grades until then, I don't know what this is but it feels dysfunctional to call it mental illness. Hopefully therapy will help
i stopped wearing bras 5 years ago and my boobs are in the best shape theyve ever been. it took a while to build up muscle but it'll happen anon
I've been in quarantine for almost a solid year just by myself. I moved to a different country for a new job last May and I don't know anyone here, haven't even met my coworkers in person, so I have not had a regular physical presence in my life for almost a year. All family members, even extended family members, live at minimum a three-hour flight away from where I live.
I have literally not hugged, kissed, nor even shaken hands with any human being for almost 365 days straight.
I'm not sure what effect it's having on my psyche because I am naturally an introverted and not a very "touchy" person, but even though I mostly kept to myself before I moved I still was able to visit a close friend every weekend and hang out or hug her and, I dunno, high five my work friends once in a while or something.
I sometimes feel a heavy sense of dread right before going to bed because of how isolated I am and how utterly helpless I would be if something were to occur.
My family says they want to come visit as soon as we're all vaccinated but I really don't want to see them because I don't know what will happen to me if someone touches me or hugs me. I fear that I've been permanently fucked up and it makes me want to cut everyone off and just never see another human again.
I tell everyone in my life that I'm fine and that I'm finding a lot of time to develop good habits. That second part is true, and I'm doing exceptionally well at work, but I need a couple of drinks on most days or I need to fully exhaust myself before going to bed because the level of silence is too much for me.
I think I'm also developing worse and worse anxiety as time progresses. I haven't ever had a "panic attack" until a few weeks ago. My hands went completely numb and I felt like I couldn't breathe and my head was spinning. It was terrifying. I clench my teeth so hard at night that my jaw is completely locked in the morning on some days and I have to massage it back open. I am constantly on the verge of tears and I am incredibly jumpy/on edge (unless, again, I have a couple of drinks in me).
I know this is a little dramatic and there are many people in much worse situations than me (my parents both lost their parents during the pandemic and weren't able to attend funerals, for example). I have a stable job and a place to sleep, and I haven't gotten sick yet, and I'll be fully vaccinated next week, but I 100% would have killed myself by now if I didn't have a cat to take care of.
I knew someone who took and and gained hella weight, and also developed a binge-eating problem. One of the proven side effects is it can make you more impulsive if I'm not mistaken, which can make you eat more.
I've heard it's because the chest muscles that naturally support them tend to atrophy if they're not doing anything. It's like always wearing your arm in a sling for years.
>>56405>I clench my teeth so hard at night that my jaw is completely locked in the morning
All other issues aside, you should probably look into buying a mouth guard or something. I'm pretty sure that can really damage your teeth over time.
>ex couldn't stop staring at women irl and online
>online bf lets me know he looks at other women online, probably does irl too
Both gamers and anime fans, but ex is a femboy and the other is just a regular smeglar. I might break up with him soon, too. Why are men whores? Are there normie boys that actually cherish you and only you, or should I just off myself after my parents die seeing that there's no hope in finding a loyal partner?
>>56356>You can definitely see his features got sharper even in those old, low-light, static pictures.
All I see is slightly less fat distribution around Depps Jaw, the messurements of his facial features is still the same, such changes in fat distribution are dependant on diet, he could have easily put on a few pounds between 25 and 26 to have the same jaw that he used to. Main point is that it's ridiculous to accuse of pedophilia anyone who is attracted to 17 year old Johnny Depp, who has become a man, and clearly looks the part as well.
Pedophilia is attraction towards children, who are prepubsecent. 17 year olds have finished puberty, they have adult bodies which will not grow any further, they will only undergo ageing(ageing is not actual growth). Regardless of how you feel about older adults dating 17 year olds, it is by definition impossible for attraction towards 17 year olds, who have finished growing, to be pedophilia. A 25 year old who dates a 17 year old in a country where the age of consent is 18 is breaking laws, but they are not pedophiles in any sense of the term. A 25 year old dating a 17 year old in a country where the age of consent is 16 is both neither a pedophile nor are they breaking any laws, regardless of how you feel about such a relationship.
Gonna be unpopular but I don't reslly disagree. Late teen/young adult relationships are generally not a good idea but the big differences between them are more social than biological (living with parents going to high school vs being more independent adult.)
I am in the middle of Invisalign, so no mouth guard for me yet.
>>56412>it's not TECHNICALLY pedophilia
bruh stfu you spend too much time talking to incels
there are rare loyal men out there that were raised right by their parents. you have to look harder and place a finer filter when dating. normie men watch porn casually so i wouldn't look at them. BUT if you manage to find one with high morals, then you might be set. its hard to find a man who's loyal that isn't a traditionalist neo-nazi larper.
Stop arguing with Americans who think just because their age of consent is 18 that anyone else has to agree that a 17 year and 364 day old is a child, but they magically become an adult when the clock strikes midnight.
>>56413> the big differences between them are more social than biological
This. Like most age restriction laws, age of consent is a social construct, rather than a number based on a universal biological truth. I was barely psychologically ready to lose my virginity at 20 while I knew people who swear they were ready at 15.
Personally, I think age of consent is good where it is in my country but things like Romeo and Juliet laws need to become more widespread.
i have like 2 irl girl friends who i don't talk to outside of uni and because of this i spend most of my time online. the people i talk to online are basically all men though, and i can get so annoyed by them sometimes because i know they just see me as a possible e-date. i wish i had a "groupchat" with girls to shitpost with daily, instead of having to deal with people who only think with their penises. i also get intimidated by girls online for some reason so it's harder for me to approach them holy shit, i feel so socially retarded with girls online while i'm basically super talkative irl
how do you even meet other girls with your same interests online
everytime i see one of those screenshots people post of their inside jokes tagging their groupchat friends i feel so lonely and as if i'm missing out on things
i just want weeb girl friends to sperg about manga with, no male hornyposting involved, how hard can that be.
Fucking same. I’m usually the token “chick” in whoever I’m currently dating’s friend group and I’m sick of it. I want female friends but I’m too spergy to initiate one-on-one conversations with new people, especially women. CC is the closest thing I have to a groupchat with the girls and I estimate that at least half of the people here are men. Ugh, life sucks.
>>56425>women into manga
I feel like that should be easy? Idk women are into all sorts of shit. An old pal of mine was able to create an online friend group of goth lesbian horror artists so…anything is possible. Though a touch of Chad energy is definitely needed to befriend women.
final grades just dropped. i got three a's, one b, and a c. my gpa is still a 3.35. i feel good about this, like i can enjoy my summer without too much stress.
i love my fiance but sometimes i just want to fucking dump him he doesnt help me at all but i dont want to break his heart or be on bad terms with him or screw up his life in all the ways our breakup would mean because i still care about him!! fucking my best friend was a mistake .
What do you mean by "He doesn't help me at all"?
>>56420>who think just because their age of consent is 18
Actually, I'm pretty sure the age of consent is 16 or 17 in a majority of states.
People only have the perception that the universal cutoff is 18 because like 90% of all media is made in California, where the age of consent is 18, and so that gets reflected in a lot of movies and TV shows.
i really don't understand why it should be so hard… it's so unfair.>>56428
there is a gurk i talk to one on one sometimes but it doesn't ever go past a short convo, and a lot of the women i find online seem to have orbiters/an already established circle of friends and i have no idea how to approach these kind of people long term… i've started using twitter more in hopes of finding some more nice people but i keep on having to deal with men
my bf killed our rat yesterday on accident. he was trying to take some kind of bandage off his tail he'd concocted because my poor baby had a bruised tail, and the baby bit him really hard and my bf's kneejerk reaction to pull back his arm made my poor sweet baby go flying and he died. i am grieving so so hard. i just hada dream he was actually alive just being really still. iwant to go to sleep again.
I used to be really bad at talking, but a few years ago I decided to bite the bullet and just go to /soc/ and add the people who were least likely to be normies.
And i've learned that most, if not all people who post on imageboards aren't the best conversationalists, and it made me feel better about my abilities.
I don't have issues talking online anymore, but it made me realize quickly when people aren't worth talking to.
I don't recommend /soc/ since most of them are coomers, friend collectors, or autists who will give you one emoji answers. Talking to most of them is like pulling teeth, but I wouldn't undo the experience given the chance.
After short 1 on 1 conversations where i'd make my judgement, I'd add them to a small group of online people that I already made friends with.
If you want that small group of friends to send memes and chat it up with, you may have to take initiave and create it yourself.
But the main way i've found to keep people around is to change what you post to keep everything obviously open ended.
If I just met someone, "hi, hru" wouldn't work since most autists would take it literally, think "i'm just sitting here posting online" and reply "nothing much, you?". that's a hard reply to build a conversation with unless you're an actual normie who can talk at people, so i've begun asking " what have you got planned for today?"
No one can misinterpret the meaning, and if they reply "nothing much" you can continue with something like "nothing? Do you play games? Draw?" Etc etc
It's all about slightly tweaking your posting style, but not the substance of your posts in order to lead them into opening up a bit more. And most importantly, ask questions if they mention something you have little info on, even if you aren't too interested. Everyone loves talking about themselves, and would rarely pass up the chance.
Hell, even this post is just me talking about myself and my experiences to connect it somewhat to what you all are going through.
If you just wait for people to come to you, you'll end up just settling for "alright" friends since you have nothing else instead of having great friends that you curated yourself.
TL;DR: local idiot writes a long dissertation about their posting style and doesn't proof read it
anon, I am so sorry. That is horrible and devastating. Are you mad at your bf? Even if it's an accident, grief would make me angry. I can only imagine the sickness and grief you must feel. You were the loving and nurturing care-taker of your little pet rat, a little life entrusted in your hands and now it died such a gruesome, "pointless" death. It may just be a pet but I hope it's in a better place now and had a nice life leading up to that.
bad thoughts sneaking up on me again
please go away
>>56475>so i've begun asking " what have you got planned for today?">you can continue with something like "nothing? Do you play games? Draw?" Etc etc
Are you actually interested in these things? Like, do you get enjoyment out of listening to people talk about their lives and what they do?
My issue is that I can hold conversations in a group context/chatrooms/etc, but all my 1-1 personal relationships always shrivel up and die because I never feel any desire to reach out. I don't know why I don't feel it, though. It seems like other people do.
Is it just something I have to force for a while? How long does it take to start wanting to talk to someone in particular, rather than it feeling like a chore?
I've posted daily in Discord servers with people I've "known" for literally 5 years, yet I've never sent any of them a DM and if one were to disappear/leave the server, I don't think I'd feel anything at all.
I think I'd like to have friends, but I'm not sure I'm able to connect with other people in the way it seems like normal people can.
i liek that artist, good image anon
I bought some popcorn with no butter, just salt and oil. It tastes awesome. But it's fucked that you have to pay more for something with less ingredients kek
I used to be studying comp sci and my dad used to do this as well and get mad when I put any effort into joining clubs, hackathons, or doing extra curriculars and such, because he was so convinced that comp sci is so great you can get a job without even trying or having anything on your resume besides a degree. He also thought I could get scholarships just for being female and otherwise being a loser, even though there are tons of impressive women (and troons) you have to compete with to get the female-only scholarships. People seriously have some delusional beliefs about STEM degrees.
I have a STEM degree and my parents were very delusional as well. My mother especially is incredibly out of touch with how most things in the world work but used to like lecturing me about everything and sulking for weeks if I didn't do things her way. I'm doing well now only because I stopped listening to them.
I'm about to graduate college with a shitty humanities degree, about $25,000 debt, and I never did any kind of community extra curricular shit or internships or flashy jobs. I have nothing long term lined up either, and I was a quiet and lazy student so I don't have many professors who I'd feel okay to rely on. Did I ruin my life or is this salvageable. Fuck I am not ambitious at all I just want to be comfortable.
I also graduated a nobody with a humanties degree. Thankfully didn't have any debt, because parents saved up for me. But I managed to get a job in education. Where I live at least, you can become a substitute teacher with any bachelor's degree. The pay isn't great, but it's more than minimum wage,and often you just babysit kids while they watch a movie or video lecture, so it isn't stressful. Plus you can do tutoring on the side for some extra cash. Maybe look into something like that? Depending on where you live.
Man I can't even make friends in an online roleplaying game dedicated to pretending to be someone else. I hate this
I guess I should approach people more, but the same old fear as IRL is holding me back; what if I'm rejected? Do I really have anything to bring to the damn table?
social differences are part of the difference, but there are also huge neurological and emotional differences between a 15 year old and a 25 year old. Biological doesn't just mean height or fertility.
I had said late teens, 15 is mid-teens. Anyway, I never said I don't think there aren't meaningful differences. I think the "huge" is kind of debatable/relative though. It's hard to separate what is situational from what's biological/inherent.
>>56538> I think the "huge" is kind of debatable/relative though.
i am a high school teacher anon. the difference is huge. they are children
>>56539>i am a high school teacher anon
The thing about that is I think you are kind of underestimating the impact social roles have. It is basically your job to see teenagers as children and treat them as children, so it'd be kind of weird and a problem if you didn't. But people will generally act childish when they are put in the social role. I'm not saying it's the same thing but when I have to deal with my parents I find myself acting more childish or like I did as a teenager, because I fall into familiar patterns, even though I don't like that anymore in my independent life. Teens will act childish in situations where they are treated like kids.
Again I am not saying there is no difference or that age gaps aren't dangerous for teens potentially. My opinions on this are mostly from interacting in mixed aged communities (mostly online) as both a teenager and in my 20s. When there aren't clear social boundaries the mental differences get fuzzier.
Teenagers used to be way more mature back in the day since they'd have a lot of experience key to development earlier. Maturity is partially about age but experience is essential. Depending on their life experiences people can grow up fast or stay stunted into adulthood
>>56545>Teenagers used to be way more mature back in the day since they'd have a lot of experience key to development earlier.
Having met Amish folk I don't think "mature" is a good word for it. Stunted children can seem mature sometimes because they are forced to develop a good vocabulary by doing nothing but reading all day, that doesn't mean they are mature.
I’m not talking about the Amish, if anything they’d be a good example of stunting. Having a highly sheltered and regimented childhood keeps people from experiencing much and so there isn’t any stimulus for growth
That's how a ton of people were living up until the 1800s.
nta, but I've also taught in high school and no, we aren't just taught to view teens as kids for the sake of our jobs. we are taught actual neuroscience and educational psychology and yrs, there are profound differences in the brains of high schoolers when compared to adults. There are even differences in the way they read others' facial expressions. Teens are much less capable of reading them accurately. It's safe to assume that makes them more prone to manipulation. In addition, their brains are pruning themselves at a rate that's comparable to literal toddlers.
It was also way more likely your parents would die, you'd go to war, ect. Things that would force you to grow as a person
I really didn't say there weren't. There's just nuance to it.
How does this argument stack up against the fact there is documented proof that children are starting puberty at younger and younger ages?
Having taught High School, I can say most teenagers are perfectly capable of making decisions for themselves, only problem is those types of teenagers drop out of school because they hate being treated like children by a nanny state.
Most teenagers are only mentally or emotionally immature these days for lack of any structure that would actually demand autonomy from them.
>>56560>I can say most teenagers are perfectly capable of making decisions for themselves, only problem is those types of teenagers drop out of school
Those are generally not the teenagers that make intelligent decisions about their lives.
And? Who ever said the ability to make decisions has any bearing on whether or not you make good ones?
Good, because having children is never an intelligent choice and someone has to make the mistake.
The kids who stay in school are just making the decision to not be retarded, most of them don't enjoy being babied any more than the dropouts who fuck up their lives with too many kids and no employable skills, they just have more bullshit tolerance.
Yes, they stay in school and like a child get treated like a child and sit down, shut up and listen. Having taught in the High School system I can understand why it's an important paradigm to treat teenagers as child because a classroom is chaos otherwise. This doesn't make them children, just reinforces the behaviors.
1. Stating that the teenage brain differs significantly from the adult brain is a factual statement, not an argument.
2. The neuroscience and psychological studies verifying this statement have been done relatively recently and are being done continually. As of right now, teens are not adults, despite the fact that they are hitting puberty earlier than they used to. If that changes, we will know as more evidence comes out.
Teenagers are so bad at making their own decisions some states had to make it illegal for them to decide to leave school and punish their parents if they did. Truly a miracle of the current nanny state.
>>56565>classroom is chaos otherwise
If you've ever presented to college students, you'd know this is not the case with them. It's almost as if high school students actually have the minds of children and thus need more management than adults.
>>56566>1. Stating that the teenage brain differs significantly from the adult brain is a factual statement, not an argument.
Stating that two brains differ significantly is also a factual statement, not very meaningful though.>2. The neuroscience and psychological studies verifying this statement have been done relatively recently and are being done continually. As of right now, teens are not adults, despite the fact that they are hitting puberty earlier than they used to. If that changes, we will know as more evidence comes out.
Is the brain not a physical organ then? It's maturing earlier yet not maturing earlier?
You mean the colleges full of the good kids who sat down, shut up and listened? i.e. the most childlike children?
Actually it's pretty much class-based. Kids from lower income communities like ghetto or hillbilly kids are more likely to act like retards in the classroom, in my highschool there was a big difference between the general population classes and the AP/advanced classes. Most of the kids who can't control themselves without supervision don't make it to college and the ones that do will be peer pressured enough to behave themselves most of the time.
>>56569>it's maturing earlier but not maturing earlier
Idk wtf you're on about. No one said the brain isn't a physical organ. The puberty studies you mentioned aren't on brain development though. We know that kids are developing secondary sex characteristics and becoming fertile earlier. There isn't any evidence currently that the teenage brain is becoming more like the adult brain earlier, though. Perhaps it will in the future, but that isn't the case right now.>>56570
Fucking kek, go into a kindergarden classroom. They don't shut up and listen. You're fucking retarded and clearly have no experience with children if you think being respectful and listening for long periods is childlike.
>>56572>Fucking kek, go into a kindergarden classroom. They don't shut up and listen. You're fucking retarded and clearly have no experience with children if you think being respectful and listening for long periods is childlike.
It sounds like you're really bad at classroom management if that's your experience in younger grades.
>>56571>Most of the kids who can't control themselves without supervision don't make it to college and the ones that do will be peer pressured enough to behave themselves most of the time.
Wait does this mean we are defining maturity by the ability to bow down to peer pressure then?
Nah, fam. I'm capable of getting them to listen with management. My point is, the need management to listen, unlike college students. They don't just sit down quietly and listen without being managed, and they have naturally short attention spans compared to adults.
kek college students don't need peer pressure to sit down and listen when someone is speaking to them, that's the whole point.
My experience teaching both children and teenagers is that children are mostly just bad at hiding the fact they're not paying attention where teenagers will generally be quiet about the fact they couldn't give less of a fuck what's going on. See similar rates for who is paying attention, but at least the teenager has the self-awareness to know they're only there to please the teacher as opposed to any other factor.
Everyone bows to peer pressure. The kids who act like idiots do so because their friends and everyone around them does, the same for the "good kids".
>>56560>most teens can make decisions for themselves>teens who can make decisions for themselves drop out of school
You're literally claiming that most teens drop out of school. A claim that is observably false. Congrats.
I got so drunk I ended up sending a whole bunch of audio messages to a lot of people. I can't hear them without cringing, I hate listening to my voice, especially if I'm slurring my words. This is why I hate getting drunk, I always end up doing something cringy that makes me look like a retard.
This was the main reason I stopped drinking completely. I never had a problem with alcohol or even drank that much/often. I just felt that even the smallest amount made me let down my guard too much and do stuff I'd regret the next day.
I'm feeling less than bueno and wouldn't mind instant death
I'm confused at how this happens. I've never done anything I'd regret when drinking, at most I get slightly more expressive and silly but I don't see that as a negative.
The worst thing I ever did when I was drunk was puke on my friend's door.
I guess there was one time when my stomach was bothering me and we went to go get food at the truck stop and I was whining and complaining. My stepdad stole my money out of my purse so I was broke, and while we were ordering I was drunkenly whining "I DON'T WANT ANYTHING I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY!" like a five year old. So my friend and her husband said "It's fine, we'll treat you, just order something…"
I'm sure a 24 hour truck stop is used to serving drunk people but still I'm sure I embarrassed everyone, lol
I can't relate either. I only get tired when I drink, I don't get this silly irresponsible decision making experience other people get. Most embarrassing thing to happen to me was to drink so much I passed out and pissed myself, but that's not really the same thing.
More or less the same. Alcohol makes me sleepy fast, there is a sweet spot where it just makes me feel comfy but beyond that I'm just gonna take a nap. I don't know how people function for extended periods of time while drunk out of their minds.
Don’t know about other people, but I think the reason it happens for me is that my parents brought me up with poor manners, social skills, and hygiene. These days I’m past all that thankfully but my “natural” state when I let down my guard is how I was raised. I don’t like that part of me so I don’t show it.
>go on a first date with a guy
>first date in ages
>nervous fucking wreck because I like this guy a lot and we have a lot in common
>hang out and make out and it gets sexy but no sex
>talk and cuddle a bit
>I’m pretty fucking sure he lost interest in me
>see him on discord with his friends and 1 female I’m sure he’s interested in
>no new messages
>fucked up didn’t I
i wish i had more input to add to a conversation, even if it’s just me being the court jester. i’m not funny, i’m awkward as hell, and always reuse the same material because there’s nothing original i can come up with at all.. i really wish i had a mind that was actually entertaining and had things to share instead of this void that tries too hard. people have said i do. i hate being attached to this useless brain.
Ask people questions and react to their answers. People like that.
This, just talking about yourself or not asking about others enough actually makes you come across as more awkward or narcissistic.
same, it's a boring-ass drug that just makes me tired, and I'm always tired anyway.
I've heard a lot of the effects that some people have are actually the placebo effect. I read once there was some study where people "got drunk" and started acting like the steryotypical drunk people you see on tv after drinking flavored water they were told was alcoholic.
Yeah I think a lot of times people subconsciously consider alcohol as a free pass to act however they want and it's more in their head and in the drink. It does real mental effects beyond tiredness though.
Exactly, people consider it a free-pass.
And yeah, I'm aware that it messes up reaction time and coordination and such, which is why it's dangerous to drive drunk. When I said it just makes me tired, I meant that's the most noticeable effect, which is why it feels boring to me.
I feel like you’d notice effects other than that if you had enough
>"Haa, I'm super ill! On the outside, I might look crazy healthy, but the truth is I'm a late teenager with a heart of glass! Filled with the desire to give up on school! That's me, Riamu-chan!! If I become an idol, it'd be my chance to do that!? Right!?"
went to browse Riamu's wiki and felt like getting punched in the face
im trying to figure out someone, ive "known" this person for 3 years now, maybe i just dont want to see the truth.
They dislike their classmates although they help them in their classwork. What gives? Why do they do that? I confronted them and they gave vague unrelated answers. Until I had to ask them more strongly and they said "maybe I just want to help". What kind of person does this?
Probably a pro-social schizoid/autist who understands that he hates other people, but morally believes he should help them if they inquire for help.
My final assignments are late and I need to finish them to pass the class, but I can't stop panicking and seeking relief through procrastinating. Why am I like this fuck
Because you're not very organized, overexaggerate how unpleasant the activity is in your head, and have poor understanding of what the concept of "delayed gratification" is.
Do you like being like that or do you want to stop?
i was like this in high school/college and it’s really not that deep. i didn’t like my classmates’ characters, but i still acknowledged them as humans deserving of help.
That's all true yeah. I want to stop. Or die I guess. The activities themselves are fine and I know they are fine I just can't manage myself or cope with deadlines
How do you now know someone after that much time? Based on your post it sounds like you might have some rocky history. What else have they done to make you suspicious of them?
There exists people who will subordinate their hate for others, with a sense of moral reasoning above what they feel. i.e., there exists people who don't act on every emotion they have and will "do the right thing" because it is the right thing to do.>>56620
What does anything in this post have to do with what she said?
Wanting to stop and wanting to get better aren't the same thing, not even in this instance. Do you want to stop or do you want to get better at these things?
I don't get what the difference is here exactly since you didn't mention anything about getting better in the first post, but I think I get what you're trying to say.
I do want to get better because I logically know that I need to and that getting better at them would make my life better, but emotionally I just would like everything to go away forever. I feel pretty worthless lol.
>>56623>I do want to get better because I logically know that I need to and that getting better at them would make my life better, but emotionally I just would like everything to go away forever.
Your current strategies are matching your "needs", if they weren't you wouldn't be here right now. If the pattern of behavior had failed as opposed to make you feel bad, you'd be a bad spot. You don't "need" to change, and it doesn't really matter if it would make your life better. The entire problem is that this process makes you feel like garbage, so, do you, emotionally, not want to feel like garbage anymore because of this?
>I feel pretty worthless lol.
That's because you probably are, it takes effort to not be worthless, and you don't sound like you've got a good handle on things emotionally or practiclaly. Being worthless atm however, does not prevent you from being worthwhile in the future.
>I don't get what the difference is here exactly since you didn't mention anything about getting better in the first post, but I think I get what you're trying to say.
The difference is purely perspective based, which isn't important to the material matter at hand, only the emotional relation to the material.
He's a dick to my girlfriend. Neglected their relationship for a year straight, emotionally and physically abuses her. Drives her mad, sometimes to the point of a breakdown. He brings up excuses that he has personality disorder, raised by shitty parents. I think it's half and half. Still a pos. It's so fucking sad, breaks my hear seeing her in pain. I fear one day she will be severely injured or have a child of his. I'm kinda drunk right now, sorry ofr the confusion.
Well yes I'd like to stop feeling like garbage. I'm not quite sure where you're going with this though.
Don't listen to them, they're doing a shit job on giving advice by subtlety shitting on you from their high horse. Its best to tackle those assignments asap and know you will feel a great relief have them finished so that you can drink some cozy hot cocoa!
is that part of her image or is she actually dying
She means mentally ill not physically
None of your circuitry is set up to stop doing something, only to start doing something else instead. It's impossible to stop feeling like trash because that's an important part of getting better at anything. if you never felt like trash you would be one of those sleazy moids living in their own filth who are nonplussed about it.
You can start feeling better instead though, and that's the important difference, to you, to your physical brain, wanting to start to do something else is the important part. Wanting to stop feeling like shit and wanting to feel good are not the same thing.
I would recommend for starters a very simple way of doing something, focus on the smallest possible action you could do right now to start working on your finals. Doesn't matter what it is, doesn't matter the size, fuck all that, the smallest improvement you could make to help your situation be not shit, then ask yourself what would it take to motivate you to do it? Food? Drugs? Alcohol? Whatever, I don't care, promise yourself if you do the thing, you get the reward, and actually enjoy the fucking reward. Don't guilt yourself over how you could do more, don't guilt yourself over not deserving a reward, give yourself a guiltfree reward and fucking enjoy it. Then do that again, and again, and again. You can teach yourself the bare fucking minimum understanding of what delayed gratification is and help yourself do the damn thing, whatever it is.
Or you can take >>56628
advice, do it in a made cortisol maxed flurry like you probably always do, stressed out of your mind, full of guilt having delayed it so long, feeling like an idiot because you couldn't reason with yourself for one fucking moment to do the thing.
The choice is yours, either start working on a better pattern of behavior right now, or just keep doing what you are currently doing.
>>56632> I don't care, promise yourself if you do the thing, you get the reward, and actually enjoy the fucking reward.
*if you do the thing, you get the reward, then do the fucking thing and give yourself the reward, and enjoy it.
just argued with my boyfriend’s mother and hes defending her as always and they’re acting like im childish in the wrong. all i did was tell her it was evil to tell me she had a gift for me then use it on herself instead of telling me she forgot to bring it for over a month. i got upset because she always promises things and never goes through with them and it hurts me (thats what i said) and i think i was wrong being so upset that i told her her son will need to move back in with her because he cant pay rent. (he spends all his money on alcohol and has missed two weeks of work) she then says im using him for a place to stay when ive spent my money on groceries and bills and rent in the past. im currently looking for a job but im also starting college again soon but we plan to move back to my home state where i have three job offers and my school.
im crying so much and i dont want to impulsively hurt myself. i dont want to be wrong for sharing my feelings and sticking up for myself. i told her that i HAVE spent just as much money on him and helped him just as much even if he pays the rent. i want to work and i begin school again soon im not trying to leech and i take care of our kittens/errands/the house so it just upsets me. he doesnt even want me to work and told me he wants to support me through school. the thing is she leeches off her husband and hasnt worked a day in her life so i dont know why shes saying this. ive worked more than her and her son and im only 20. she said im acting 12 and need to go home immediately and hes just defending her. i shouldve kept my mouth shut but why is it okay for people to lie and accuse me and i have to stay silent? why am i childish for speaking up and talking back to her? im so sick of keeping stuff in when shes such a piece of shit.
i just want to go back home and stay with my mom until i finish college but ill feel like a loser because im 20 and shouldnt run back to her. and im scared ill feel lonely without my bf. i just dont want to hurt myself fuck i feel so pathetic and hated i just keep crying
she does nothing for her son and i always mother him and pay for stuff when hes low on money. she told me i needed to pay for his covid test and uber rides and pay her gas. what the fuck? she doesnt help us when we are low on groceries or rent and said we’ll just be homeless but acts holy and does everything for his brother.
yet im in the wrong lol. fuck you for taking my gift and lying to me and making accusations. fuck you for treating your son like shit! god im so mad. maybe im wrong but i wont feel guilty for speaking up to someone who always promises to help me then lies or never helps her son but expects me to help and guide him all of the time. his whole family probably hates me now and thinks im disrespectful.
Sorry to hear that anon. You’re only 20 though and lots of people have their first big break-up about that age. It’s ok to go back to your parents.
Take a look at r/justnomil. They have a lot of experience with partners siding with their mother over you and how to deal with difficult mils.
i was just lurking there!!
i just cant tell if im in the wrong or not. they said im out of line and childish but i refuse to be lied to and hurt like that…
I agree with everything you are saying. I think I just don't know how to reward myself anymore, or how to not feel guilty when giving myself rewards that I actually want. I have always had issues with procrastination but it has never been this bad before COVID put everything online and I've never been at such a low point. I will try what you said though, thanks anon.
I don't think you're in the wrong anon. It might be best to move back to your parents for a bit and take a break from the relationship.
Does anyone else feel like their more distant memories belong to a different life, a different person ?
It's hard to convey in a single question so let me elaborate : When I look back on the things I've done and seen, what I remember, it feels like they truly are my memories when it's things from the past 4 years or so.
But with memories farther than that, it doesn't feel like they are my own. It feels like remembering something I saw in a movie, or read in a book, as opposed to something I lived myself. It feels as if I was never really there and it didn't really happen.
How old are you? It could just be that you changed a lot as a person, or that your memories just have faded with time. All my memories feel like "my memories" to me but the further I go back the less vivid/connected to me they feel for sure.
I'm 23. I do think I have gained a very different outlook on life in the past 4 years, but not to the point of feeling like an utterly different person, at least I do not think so.
Forgive my schizo ramblings.
Oh, I definitely feel like that. It's as if I'm an android or something and somehow I have had someone else's memories implanted into my head but for some reason I can't quite access "my" memories that match up with my current experience.
For me, I think the reason for it is that I didn't have a good childhood and young adulthood. Because of being under a lot of stress and not fully comprehending everything that was going on around me (relying too much on other people), I often went along with things too much or acted impulsively in a sort of manic way. Basically, it didn't feel like I was in control of myself and I didn't prioritize myself. I wonder if it could be dissociation related.
Now I am more deliberate in my actions and while I suppose I do "know" why I did certain things before, I can't relate to them, as if I had read the reasons in a book and not that I thought them myself.
I really hate visiting place or seeing people from my past because of this as they expect me to be the same person. It's not so much because of shame but more like it feels like mistaken identity, as if everyone is calling me the wrong name or something but I can't correct them on it.
well turns out im leaving my bf and moving back home because he treats me like shit and so does his mom but i cant help but feel regret since ill be alone again and i dont think il lever be loved again. i hate this so much but its happening in a week for good and i just feel like i should kill myself
AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGH I get so fucking overstimulated from interacting with strangers/acquaintances it imbues me with enough energy to tear my whole room down. I end up running in circles and laughing/vocalizing random shit to myself. I wish I weren't such a massive autist. This is one of the things I've never been able to alleviate with "practice", I react the same way as I did when I was 5 (23 now), and struggle to suppress it in public. People around me sometimes point out my "weird expressions", which I do not realize I'm making until it's too late. It's so fucking bad.
Not at all, I feel like I'm experiencing every moment of my life simultaneously at almost all times. I recognize the actions and choices I made as a child as much as I do the ones I make right now.
how/why do you guys put extra energy into capitalizing when on imageboards or speaking to people that don't matter/social vehicles that just don't matter? why do people waste the time and energy? imageboard posting doesn't further your career so why put the extra energy into capitalization? serious question. some of my friends always write properly and i just don't understand why they would even care to put in that extra effort when talking to pointless people about wontons
I'd help others out simply because I wanted them to stop bothering me lol. Sometimes I'd even let them copy off my homework.
Some people prefer writing like that? Idk. Anyways, it's not like it's something that takes up a shit ton of energy. It's literally just a click of a key.
but it's a click of a key multiple, multiple, multiple times during inconsequential conversation. it just seems like a lot of work because you need to repeatedly move all the way on over to the shift key. for some reason it feels like a lot of work for me. and using your pinky repeatedly is uncomfortable i guess
male friend messaged me saying hes tired of being used after i finally messaged him back after ghosting him for a month and i'm so fucking devastated, i feel like shit because i really have a problem with ghosting but i have no idea how to solve this
ghosting doesn't mean you use people, tell him to stop being a little bitch. people are complicated and have inner demons. if he wants more, he should just say that without the expectation that you're necessarily using him
I don't put extra energy into it.
I've been typing like this pretty much since I started typing. Like 15+ years at this point. It's reflex/second nature to me to use capitalization where appropriate.
It'd probably take more effort/focus for me to not
do it, at this point.>>56678>move all the way on over to the shift key>using your pinky repeatedly is uncomfortable i guess
I can reach at least one of the shift keys with my pinkies without ever having to move my hands to accommodate it, generally. Do you use your index fingers to press the shift keys when you need to write formal stuff?
>>56684>ghosting doesn't mean you use people
True, but it's still very rude. Especially if it's someone one speaks with frequently, it can be distressing if they just disappear without any warning or reason.
i can reach with my pinkies but it's uncomfortable. i do worry and wonder if thoughts are better expressed and understood if capitalized, but ultimately it feels like a lot of work.
i already don't even want to use punctuation because of it. i just have so low little energy to commit to typing, i guess. getting me to use punctuation alone is already maxing out my effort tbh. if people understand better when capitalized, i will try to switch.
i guess i feel like people don't take thoughts as seriously when not capitalized but it's just another extraneous step that feels like a burden. i know it sounds like i'm being melodramatic over a silly topic but it really does feel tiresome
is it? to me, i feel like i'm very expendable, and i'm fine with that. i feel like people are quick to guilt-trip for sake of having the "upper hand" in a friendship or relationship when ultimately they don't actually think that highly of you or need the relationship. if you're in a committed relationship, that's an entirely different story, however.
This such a warped way of thinking it never even occurred to me someone could make this observation. Kudos.
It doesn't take extra energy to capitalize anymore than good spelling does, unless you're a hunt and pecker, then oh joy do I have news for you which typing style is the most energy expensive.
Be aware that the English language used to be as you described, no capitals, hell, no punctuation either. Just one long unbroken stream of words. Things like capitalization and punctuation were added to make things easier to read. This may be subtly less important when it's less reading someone's handwriting and more words on a screen, but the principle that proper capitalization makes words flow better is undeniable. Now, most people aren't writing anything that actually needs that flow, so I could understand if you didn't want to do it, but, then this would imply you're not really writing anything worth reading and are just doing it be "different". At least this is what I assume most people would think, if not just assume you're a child first.
i don't think it has much to do with being different. it's more about how much energy you're willing to expend on meaningless conversation.i think people may take people who don't capitalize more seriously, but the message is still conveyed at its core. they're just being judgey, really.
warped in a bad way, or potentially valid but strange one? i find it to be true tbh. i don't think it's warped, it's just pragmatic.
>>56698>i don't think it has much to do with being different.
I don't think it does for you either. What I am trying to convey to you is that people will think
that it does. It doesn't sound like you're doing it to be different, but people will think
you are doing it to be different. Please understand the nuance.
>.i think people may take people who don't capitalize more seriously, but the message is still conveyed at its core.
Yes, this is why people will think you are doing it to be different, if you were so different that you were unintelligble people would just write you off as a schizo. Instead, you are straddling the line between normal and expected ways of typing and intentional formatting distortations. Of course the core message remains the same, the core message very rarely changes with stylistic choices, hell even most punctuations doesn't alter content severely (though some issues with commas and subclauses exist).
>they're just being judgey, really.
Yes they are, problem is everyone is judgey. Period. And will construct opinions abut your opinions and motivations by the way you act or talk. If you are fine being considered doing this just to be different, go ahead, I will tell you that's very heavily the vibe you give off, especially with this post as well.
When people type with no caps and poor punctuation, I can't help but read it in a kind of retarded voice.
I've been told prior that I come off as aggressive when writing in proper fashion. Now I'm scared to use punctuation and capitalization unless absolutely necessary.
catching a flight to leave my boyfriend in an hour. i hope the plane crashes. i feel so lost and unloved and unwanted and he wont even let me keep my kitten. i packed everything i could but im still leaving so much behind at his place. i dont know why him and his mom had to become demons and turn against me. hes so evil and so is she. i just wanted to be loved.
i'm so exhausted. i want to cry so bad but my grandma is visiting and she's staying in my room. i just want to cry everything out, i'm so stressed
why can't problems just go away, i have so much shit to deal with i don't even know where to start
i just wish i had some privacy to cry at least
Why can't you keep the kitten if it is yours?
I hate being a woman, I hate being around men, I hate that I have to care for my infirm father who didn't give a shit about any of us because none of us are the son he always wanted, I hate that I can't help but second guess the man I love because every other man in my life (and in existence it appears) is so ungodly terrible at being a human being. It seems too good to be true that he won't fuck me over big time the second we move in or get married or some other milestone. I'm so fucking tired.
same here anon I would just shove it to the back of my head and stop going. got over that now but it reflects on my academic record
age of consent is 16 in my state eurodumb
in a bad way. you are a crazy person, and thoughtless.
I just wish I had a friend besides my boyfriend, hes great and everything but he has his own friends and I feel like an insecure loser when he spend time with them, I also used to have a very close friend but our friendship ended because his mental issues, I've been trying to talk to other women to become friends with but its hard because I can't think of topics to talk to them, I feel so fucking inept. Also the only people I talk to besides my boyfriend is a group of moids I met years ago, they all seem to only care about sexualizing women and sometimes /g/ stuff, whenever I try to talk about something else they just make fun of what im saying or ignore me and procede to post porn or photos of random women. I'm so fucking lonely and tired.
my bf isn't bad to me lately but he doesn't treat me as well as he used to. we've been best friends for years and years and have been dating for 2. ive seriously never felt attracted to anyone else but him, he took my virginity, which im saying to make reader understand why i stay, other than the financial help i need from him to stay in this apartment away from my abusive family. back to subject, he still does some things to show he loves me and i know he does. but the thing is. i've caught him five times in the past year talking to other women (even men and troons). he only did it when he was on cocaine and hasn't done it since quitting, to my knowledge. some things are still sketchy and sometimes i check his phone, the trust is not there like it used to be, but neither of us want to lose each other. i also cheated on him once (all internet, long story short after catching him and being fed up i had a bpd meltdown which resulted in lots of self destruction including sending nudes to literal strangers, literally the darkest my mental state has been and i've been seriously working on myself to get past it) but we were both just so tired of fighting and so scared of not being able to rely on each other we both just agreed that if it happened again on either side we'd just deal with it then. but even though physically we're great, sex life & domestic kisses intact, he keeps disappointing me. he sleeps until afternoon, chainsmokes all day resulting in the most horrible cough you've ever heard (actually gives me sensory overload) and isn't considerate of me the way he used to me, just in general. he's always grabbing my tits even though i tell him to stop because i don't like it when i'm not mid-sex, and my nipples are REALLY sore from fucked hormones and all of his teasing (which sounds great to coombrain men but it hurts motherfucker!!) and i tell him that all the time but he ignores that and then acts like a scolded puppy and won't even touch me when i finally snap at him for it. the situation is nowhere near as bad as it was, he cleaned the whole apartment the other night which is no small task and he always gives me compliments and like i said he's my best friend we love each other despite everything we laugh together and there's so many little moments in the day when i think i can't live without him and i don't love him any less it's just. like. i was visiting my grandma, my closest family member, who is in hospice, last week, and he had his feet, shoes and all, on her coffee table. i think the sentence ive been looking for this whole time is i feel loved but i don't feel respected in any capacity and when i tell him how to respect me he just forgets and keeps doing whatever he wants
also i dont even like sex that much i can get horny but it's not a quick on/off switch like it is for him but he thinks because of the manner in which i cheated (worth mentioning he sent nudes of me to a stranger long before i ever did which is what set me off) that im a secret slut and not the truth which is im fucked up, traumatized, and did what i did to exploit myself. like i felt nothing when i was doing it i barely even got off on it and it just makes me feel even worse and dirtier when he starts grabbing on me and chewing on me because he doesn't see me as his cute girlfriend anymore he just treats me however he wants because he thinks i like it
Your big seems like a sleazy douchebag. Sounds like he views you as cheap and not worth making the effort to be a good man for, it doesn’t sound like he respects you at all. I hate to tell you this but he will only get his shit together if you leave him. Men have a bad habit of becoming lazy and taking you for granted when they know you probably won’t leave him. Losing your virginity to a guy doesn’t really count for shit btw, it’s not a contract.
I’m only with my bf because I don’t think I can do any better. I’m pretty sure he feels the same. We don’t love each other. But are too afraid to find someone else. I hope none of you get into a situation like this
I miss “new relationship feeling,” but I’d never break up with my bf because of that. I just get this horrible feeling every once in a while. He has also stopped taking care of his appearance a bit during quarantine and it’s hard for me to feel attracted to him sometimes.
I get very vicious when angry and I made my bf cry the other day. He doesnt really cry but we fought and then I saw him little later and I could tell he had definitely been crying. Have just been in a shitty mood all day because Ive clearly done some damage to him but even when we inevtiably make up well both just reset and hurt each other again two weeks down the line.
Really borught home the way ppl slowly chip away at each others well being saying "its just another fight" again and again and eventually the damage adds up. It makes me want to find a way out of it but I dont know how really Ive just been feeling bad/anxious/sluggish all day long because of it
Get therapy or something if it’s really that bad. You can’t just do nothing about your issues and expect them to actually be fine
Neither one of really believe in therapy. We really dont fight hard that often I sort of exaggerated it but I feel like we fight as frequently as most couples. I attack him viciously sometimes when we fight I lose focus and go all out but I assume he knows its just the heat of the moment. This is the first time Ive seen him cry about it.
I think Ill have to figure this out in my own way I just dont imagine therapy helping. At least if we must fight I think I can learn to control my temper
Therapy was what immediately came to mind since it's something specific and quantifiable unlike something vague like work on your anger issues. Therapy does cost money though and is dependent on having an actually competent professional that has expertise in what you're dealing with to be useful though so it may or may not be an option for you. Just don't make excuses for why you aren't addressing the issue or talk yourself into believing what you're doing is enough if it isn't
Even if it is in the heat of the moment that shit still hurts. I think you need to take a step back and evaluate why you said what you said to him.
I just had a moment where I realized why I like baggy oversized clothing and shaved heads so much: less likely to be sexualized. it all has to do with my rape traumas but scrotes sexualize anything anyway so it does not matter what you wear. I wish people told me how many things happen to you after sexual assault
“Come all ye fair and tender ladies,
Take warning how you court your men.
They're like the stars on a summer's mornin'
First they'll appear and then they're gone”
I HATE dating. Giving up on the dating scene. Men are so dishonest. Just to get in our pants.
I am uncomfortable around children. I was abused as a kid so whenever I'm with children I'm worried about touching them too much. I'm worried that people will think it's weird or that the child itself will find it annoying. My love language is physical affection but when I'm around my bf's little brother (4 years old) it feels like touching him too much would be bad. I instinctively go for back rubs or head pats but I have to stop myself because I don't want others to think I'm being too touchy. I have also seen a lot of parenting videos about how it's important for family members to ask kids for consent before kissing them goodbye or saying hello with a hug.
I'm very physically affectionate and am always touching my bf or holding his hands so it's hard to break this habit around kids. I'm only like this with kids I know and who reach out to me, but I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I feel no attraction towards kids and would never hurt them, but the thoughts don't go away. If you knew someone like me, would you think I was being weird or inappropriate?
Your social anxiety is going to make you more suspicious than any amount of hugging and playing with kids ever will. For god's sake you're a woman, most people don't even have the mental capacity to imagine a female pedophile let alone what it looks like. I am very sorry to inform you, but the rest of society views you playing with children as being 100% expected, not even okay, expected. They actually expect you to enjoy being around children and playing with them. You are doing nothing wrong by wanting to be physically affectionate with children more.
A woman assumed I was lesbian because i have short hair and it irritates me. Nothing against lesbians but I just hate the automatic assumption.
It was the ripe hour of 5:00 AM. I thought I could go to sleep. Then the news of Miura's (author of Berserk) death hit. I'm actually in tears, please God just reset this timeline already, we have had enough.
I just heard as well.
I wonder if he had any scripts or anything written ahead of time that they'll try to release, or if the story will literally just stop in place and never get an ending.
I never intended to read Berserk because it's totally not my thing, but the general vibe on the /a/ sticky was really bumming me out. With the whole everything just keeps getting worse/all your favorite whatevers will probably die before you…
Man, that sucks. It almost doesn't feel real.
I know, anon. Maybe once I wake up this will all have been a bad dream.>>56885
He did leave notes, or so I've read. Only time can tell if they'll end up published.>>56888
The sticky was playing Guts' theme for a bit too. Hits like a goddamn truck at a time like this. You should absolutely give Susumu Hirasawa's OST for the 1997 adaptation a listen, even if you're not interested in the series itself. It's pure art.
i tried to solder something for the first time in myy life and i fucked it up because my hands are shaking all the time. this makes me very sad
I have a friend who touched the hot soldering part with his hand and got 2nd degree burns. As long as you're not doing that you're doing fine.
I know this feel. I don't often have to solder things, but generally I screw it up and have to re-melt it repeatedly to get the solder properly in place, or I can't even get the solder bead to stop gripping the tip of the iron and I have to just clean it off and try again.
I wish there was some kind of arm you could clamp onto the iron to hold it in place so that small hand movements wouldn't shake the tip so much, but I can't find anything like that on Google.
>>56908>touched the hot soldering part with his hand and got 2nd degree burns
Like his hand accidentally brushed against it, or was he trying to grip it like that like pic related?
If you're hand is shaking there's no tools that are going to be able to help you with that. The closest item I can think of that solves a similar problem would be a video rig stabilizer, but scaling that to the level of hand soldering would still have it cost a pretty penny to work.
My coworker has incredibly shaky hands but he manages to solder really cleanly somehow. Don't give up, I'm sure you can figure out some sort of technique that works for you.
I'm so glad I found this place! It's a nice alternative from /GIOYC/ on /adv/ Croc's posts and the mutilation posts are driving me insane!
I'm cheating. They don't know about each other. One can't offer me something so I'm getting it from the other. I will end one of the connections soon.
Soldering is really hard, it's one of those things that you have to keep practicing before you get it right. Make sure you're not dehydrated or hungry when you practice, cause that makes your hands shaky. But I'm sure you'll get it if you keep trying!
Seriously, fuck Croc and the other whiney simps on /GIOYC/ Oh well …
Are you me?
I've been taking apart and fixing my own stuff for years now, and I just tried my first hand at soldering the other day.
To say it was a failure is an understatement.
I was replacing a charge port on a nintendo switch and despite my best efforts, the port wouldn't lay flat and make a good connection on the board and I stopped after a few hours.
But don't let failures discourage you.
People who do this stuff for youtube cut out their mistakes so it looks like they do it neatly first try,
You don't need to stress yourself out over not being a master at the start. Just know your limits, take breaks when you need to, and never give up.
We're gonna make it!!
It was exactly like the pic related. He just wasn't paying attention at all. After that he never soldered again.
I want to vent but my problems are too long, so frustrating. I wish I could get the point across without walls of text. I guess a journal would be better at this point.
Anon, it doesn't matter how long your posts are, you'll feel better once you get your ideas out in the open.
Maybe the feedback will be helpful to you.
I've text walled plenty, and no one ever complains.
I really have to lose weight but I'm on my period and dealing with endless hunger.
Maybe you're right.. and thank you. There is just so, so much of it. At least a year worth of bottled feelings. I don't know when I post it but your reply has made me feel better about it.. I just hope it's not a bother. I will feel very silly by the end of it lol.
Wait until your period is over.
I HATE it when people tell me to just "get over" my insecurities.
I believe there's a thread for it on /media/ but I haven't seen it in a while.
I'm definitely going through that phase where I want nothing but a bunch of kids. Problem is being gay and my girlfriend doesn't want to adopt. I am not trans nor do I want to be but damn if there aren't times I wish I could just have the equipment to have children with her. Something that was part her and part me. Maybe one day but I fear it'll be too late and we'll be too old.
I'd stop but it's just when I drink too much. I just need to set up limits and keep them.>>56589
I just say stuff and do stuff that I wish I didn't. It's gotten worse since I moved to a academic environment in the US, stuff is different here and I don't have the same trust to speak my mind. So when I get drunk I do, luckily I haven't said anything that could get me fired.
>>56941>being gay and my girlfriend doesn't want to adopt
You could use a sperm donor, but unfortunately even if each of you has a child, neither would truly be a mix.
I also wonder if it would be possible for your own biological child to not be your favorite of the two, in that case.
Would it be too weird for you to have a child using sperm of one of her male relatives? That'd probably be the closest you could get to her DNA.
How do you know if your therapist is good? It feels like I'm talking to myself and then she just echoes what I say before I move along in my rants. It's like a soundboard more than anything. I was hoping for something more. Like she'd give me assignments to combat my social anxiety and feel relaxed in social situations, or that she'd give me insights and analysis on how my thoughts work. So far it's just been "how did that make you feel?" "anything else you'd like to talk about?" "what's been on your mind?"
I am literally just paying someone to rant to when I can just go on here and vent. Seems like a loss of money to me. I feel like i'm making no progress at all.
My sister has a therapist who actually gives her assignments to improve her thoughts.
Idk maybe I actually don't have any problems after all and don't need therapy.
I'm just so frustrated by the lack of insights.
It's been about 4 sessions already and I just repeat the same thing over and over.
Maybe I don't have much to talk about?
Don't feel silly or like a bother. This is a place for venting and your feelings, long or short, are just as valid as anyone else's.
Not sure anon, but my experience was the same from 3 therapists, including one specialist in that area. Given up on the idea now.
If family is out of the question, one woman could also carry the other woman's egg, instead. Eg. Anon's egg is fertilized but her gf carries the child so both have "contributed" to the baby's existence.
Yeah this is my first experience with one and she specializes in anxiety and CBT. Nothings come from it so far. My insurance pays for it so it doesn’t feel like too much of a scam. I’m hoping that as time progresses and she grows an understanding of my situation, that she’ll be able to provide more input. But idk I think 4 sessions is a lot already, and it makes me sad that I’m just another client/patient in the revolving door. She asks me things I’ve mentioned before … makes me feel like she confuses me with her other clients, so our interactions feel so forced (which it is tbf, but I’d think as a mental health care professional, it’s important to provide as much effort into all your clients as much as possible, so it should be common courtesy to get their stories straight and not confuse anyone with others.)
Maybe I should just give up. It’s too much effort to find another therapist. It also makes me jealous when people have positive experiences with theirs and they actually get down to the root of the problem with their help.
I’m just ranting, and I’ll probably rant endlessly, so I’ll stop here for now.
>>56958>How do you know if your therapist is good? It feels like I'm talking to myself and then she just echoes what I say before I move along in my rants. It's like a soundboard more than anything. I was hoping for something more. Like she'd give me assignments to combat my social anxiety and feel relaxed in social situations, or that she'd give me insights and analysis on how my thoughts work. So far it's just been "how did that make you feel?" "anything else you'd like to talk about?" "what's been on your mind?"
This really depends on what style of therapy she's offering. It sounds like you want someone more oriented towards CBT. When you went to her did she discuss with you her therapist style?
>>56963>She asks me things I’ve mentioned before
Yeah, I had that too. I remember I had accidentally missed one session, so I apologized for this at the start of the next one. She was didn't seem to register with what I said, but then at the end of the session brought it up again and seemed annoyed with me. She didn't appear to remember that I had already apologized for it. That was just one of many problems from that session alone. Not surprisingly, I never went back.
I hate life sometimes. Everyone has to one up the other and prove themselves to be right. I'm done being nice. I rather be alone.
If you're tried of being nice you probably weren't being nice properly. Being nice doesn't mean being a doormat.
Probably, you mean assertive right? I'm just so angry today.
Take some time off the internet. I've been spending more time reading books recently and I feel a lot better because of it.
She specializes in CBT but hardly brings up tactics, and if she does, it is a brisk explanation and application to a real life experience I provided. >>56969
I get the feeling therapists don’t really listen to you and miss out on the things you rant about. They set up a timer for you to talk to them, not with them. You’d have better time talking to yourself going through rationalizations, talking things out to come to your own conclusions. That’s all therapy is, or at least my experience with it.
Did anyone here ever get a good experience with it?
Maybe I am doing therapy wrong. My sister writes topics she wants to talk about before entering her sessions. I just wish I had her therapist but I can’t because of confidentiality issues. I’d like to get assignments to do things, not just talk about myself
I pulled a cruel prank on 4chan to shut another poster up. It backfired on her, Now I feel guilty.
I was soo angry, I got carried away.
Anon who is croc and what did they do? Can we get some context up in here? Welcome to CC by the way.
He's a poster on /Adv/ That spams the threads with posts about strangling his wife. Most posters are sick of it. I tried reporting him a few times but the jannies ignore it.
Also, I left a quote for him as a warning for all his shitposting. A femanon had to correct me. I said my opinion and she kept correcting me. In my anger I insulted her and threw everything at her.
SJW Femanon almost ruined everything with her meddling. And know she's giving Croc what he came for.
I was in a similar situation. I loved my bf but occasionally he would do things that hurt me a lot (not intentionally) but they still drove me crazy. And because I was so paranoid and distrustful I would think he was doing them on purpose. I would say really mean things to him and completely shatter his self esteem because I felt he was trying to do the same to me. Actually it was just me being a crazy paranoid ass, but the fights really wore us down and it got to the point things were no longer fixable. I removed myself from the situation because I couldn’t stand hurting him and didn’t have enough self control to stop the emotional reactions. I also wrote him a long apology letter. It hurts a lot and both of us were very codependent on each other but sometimes the kindest thing you can do for both yourself and them is to realize you are toxic together and decide to break up and stop speaking. Some people just can’t get along together for long timeframes. It doesn’t mean either of you are bad people, it just means you are compatible. Don’t stay making each other miserable. Find someone you actually get along with long term.
Ghost in the Shell…
“When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back.”
thank you all very much anons. I feel encouraged. I think I will try again today and practice. It's not like I am in a hurry :D
I am a 23yo dropout girl testing for my GED next week.. I am so nervous! I have studied and studied for this but I will feel like an even bigger disgrace than I already do if I fail even one of the subjects. my bf has been very helpful with assisting me in studying and I think I can do it but idk I just don't think I can forgive myself if I mess up.
I’m so lonely and I want friends sooo badly but I don’t know how to talk to people and what to say to them. I can’t even make internet friends kek I hate being so autistic
You are very young and will have many more chances no matter what happens. Of course you will feel bad in a worst case scenario, but you should never worry about 'forgiving yourself'. Good luck, do your best, go from there.
You shouldn't worry too much.
I've been told that you should think of anxiety as you trusting your brain's assumption that the worst will happen, and your brain has been wrong plenty when guessing what'll happen when you've made plans that have fallen through before.
Don't believe your thoughts 100% of the time, they've been wrong plenty. Why is it correct about your success chances at this test when it's been wrong in similar situations before?
I'm sure you'll do well as long as you don't defeat your own ambitions before you get a chance to take the test! Good luck, anon
the only man I'm interested in dating is a NEET and everyone I know is judging me for even considering him
I wish i didn't feel so much shame after I had sex.
I need advice.
Basically, I've known a man for 1.5 years, I care very much for this man and we've had perfect chemistry from the start since I met him and have talked nearly every single day. This man and I played with the idea of pursuing a LDR on multiple occasions but those feelings and plans fell through because of other obligations and logistical problems in both of our lives that just could not be ignored. Lately a lot of those problems have fixed themselves or have become less problematic, and now those old feelings are starting to come back again. While I would be fine to continue as friends like we have been since the other attempts at romance failed, I feel VERY strongly for him now and am considering giving it a shot. But I'm very anxious of LDRs and am scared that I could hurt him emotionally and that things between us could be permanently ruined. But I also cannot ignore how I feel. I just feel very trapped with all these feelings and I feel like the only solution is to come out with them, but I am fearful of what will happen after that. I am still not 100% convinced an LDR could work but with him.. I think I am willing to try it and it could be the chance of a lifetime with someone I feel I have truly connected with… I just want it to work.
I originally had something much, much, MUCH longer written out but I got frustrated and just went with this and tried to fit as many details as I could in just a few paragraphs as opposed to a dozen.
But to further clarify; basically, I do know the chance is there. The problem is it will just take time. The distance itself is not that bad but we are in different countries and that poses an issue in itself. I am in Canada and he is in the US. It's still not possible for him to come here due to border restrictions but if we were to start something I would think at this rate we could make plans for him to fly here within a year. I guess from there we would see how things went. Repeat visits.. extended stays. To put our compatibility to the fullest test. And then I suppose the final step would be moving in if all of those things worked as planned.
Of course this is all hypothetical.. I haven't even worked myself into asking him again yet. But I am confident he will be on board because I know he has deep feelings for me too. It's just with how long things could take for the whole process that worries me.. I do think if we are truly meant to be then it would be worth it but it would be challenging for sure.
I don't want the jab because I want it to be my choice - not something that's forced on me. It's selfish, but few things in the medical model are optional.
Why not just take the shot and ask? It sounds like you want it, and you are confident he wants it.
I hate when I have no plans on Saturday and spend the whole day doing nothing at home because it gives me anxiety.
Being an tourist on either anon image board hasn't been very fun. Vacation over, back to reality.
I hate that I never learned "girl stuff" in my youth because I were a loner, so I'm having constant switches between dressing butch and femme.
It's because I like planning and wearing femme outfits, and gushing over clothes and makeup, but feel more comfortable in butch since I'm rly bad at makeup (which even is worse since I'm older), long hair always turns to shit on me, and I've had wrinkles from stress since fucking 20.
moths and fairies …
You should talk it out with him and see where things lead. You clearly have feelings for him. I think forming deep connections like that are very rare and hard to make, even harder when you are detached physically and have met online. It just goes to show how strong your bond is. It looks like it's something worth pursuing, especially since both of you have had those thoughts in the past. Do you think those obligations would get in the way again?
LDRs are not that bad as long as both of you are committed, faithful and loyal to each other, and have strong trust in one another. For some, especially those who need a physical relationship, it gets really hard. But you've known this man for almost 2 years now and haven't done anything physical yet even though you have strong feelings for him. It sounds like you can restrain yourselves and hold out for each other if you've had those feelings for that long.
The problem with LDR is that people feel like it's a waste of time if there isn't a clear ending or a clear path in sight, a clear vision or goal for you two to achieve, so make sure you talk about that first with him - it will really help pull you through and feel like every time you are spending time with him over phone/messages/video calls or other internet communications is really worth it and not a waste of time. I think people tend to get angsty and antsy and have a FOMO phase when they see cute couples physically holding hands when your relationship is resorted to small bursts of physical intimacy and then long stretches of time where you just talk to each other online…
I think online relationships are really good and can make you form a deep bond with someone, and they really are worth pursuing into making it a real relationship. It just takes effort on both parties, and trust in each other.
Most women are like this, even if they grew up with girly things.
I use to have friends who forced me to be girly, but they eventually left me. Was probably my fault
Imagine being this bad a parent
How do I break up with someone?
we've been together for a few years. I'm really sentimental and every time we almost broke up I got weak… but I can't keep suffering like this… I feel dead inside, I want to be free
I hate that I’m so lazy and undisciplined. Having a full time 9-5 Monday to Friday job is exhausting and I don’t feel like I have any time or energy to engage in my hobbies anymore. I want to go to the gym to get toned up and lose weight, I want to start painting again and follow through with painting projects, & I want to begin drawing again. Even typing this makes me feel exhausted and ashamed of myself. Instead I just waste time browsing, or prioritise cleaning my apartment.
Going gray at the age of 20… feelsbadman
every man i've ever met has been a useless retard that wanders over just to shit on my sandcastles. they ruin my day and all of my progress every time they enter my space
I’m in an LDR and I’m so touch starved and horny kill me ugh
I'm sorry I just really hate myself. There is nobody to just hold me and tell me I'm doing my best or that I'm doing a good job. It is just me and that isn't enough. When I'm alone all I have is the reality of what a talentless failure I am
Hey anon, you'll be fine. I dropped out when I was 16 and made myself go crazy while studying for the math section. I ended up stressing over nothing because I ended up passing. I wish you lots of luck! You got this!
You are doing well lad, don't worry, keep trying and don't give up
get tinder, find a guy and imagine it's him
My bf saw a post on 4chan arguing about how women shouldn't vote because they vote for immigration etc and then told me he agreed. I am just disappointed, he is too smart to fall for divide and conquer shit. I completely forgot about it the next day but I just remembered, I think I should bring this up. I just let it go when he brought it up because I don't like to fight but isn't this something worth arguing over?
No I'm not going to break up.
This is 100% worth fighting over and if even if he is joking it's indicative of what he finds funny, here being the removal of women's rights to participate in society.
I know you don't want to break up but definitely proceed with caution here, a man who doesn't hold animosity towards women would not agree with rolling back our rights. That's insane.
>>57166>I am just disappointed, he is too smart to fall for divide and conquer shit.
I don't see the connection between intelligence and ability to not fall for social manipulation tactics.
I already knew he was a bit misogynistic, but I too am a bit misandristic (in the sense that I am wary enough of men and would defend women over them) so I figured it was fine. But I wouldn't ever seriously try to claim men should be 2nd class citizens.
>>57173>But I wouldn't ever seriously try to claim men should be 2nd class citizens.
Why not? Moids are filthy violent creatures.
Well and therein lies the difference between being "a bit misogynistic" and "a bit misandristic". You want to cross the road to avoid a man, he sees you as less of a person than he is.
Do you just want your life to be miserable or what? There's a difference between being wary of men because of their literal propensity to commit violent crime against the people they "love", and hating women for literally no reason. This man is an ass sandwich and for whatever reason, you're intent on continuing to put up with someone who believes you are subhuman.
Every decent person with half a braincell and a modicum of life experience will tell you you'll end up regretting staying with this man somewhere down the life.
I don't know besties, we get along super well and never even fight. He loves me a lot and in the past 2.5 years had never said anything like this before. The worst thing he had done was show me that he considered the average social media addicted woman to be stupid.
But I will seriously confront him about it next time I seem him in person.
my sister won't stop stealing my clothes.
it's seriously getting to me. i tend to be an okay doormat when it comes to trivial conflicts like this, and i know its silly to be attached to material things like clothing items, but i put serious work into gathering unique clothing items to build a solid closet together. i really have fun expressing myself through fashion items. it aggravates me when i find my clothes missing. and it ALWAYS happens when she comes home for a visit. i'm at my family's cottage rn away from home and my mom just dropped her off to wait for her boyfriend to pick her up, and during that time she's there, my siblings have told me she's been in my room browsing through my closet.
i have told her so many times to not go into my room and to stop touching my clothes but she won't stop it, she never does. it's making me feel so angry and frustrated, and also i feel helpless because i'm not there to defend my clothes from her greedy hands.
why doesn't she just buy clothes from other stores? 1) she is a cheapskate. 2 ) she has always liked my sense of style and wants to wear what i buy 3) she knows i won't say anything and will back down easily.
just recently i confronted her doing this and all she said to me was that i was autistic and a paranoid schizophrenic. but if this behaviour is consistent and has happened before, and i have seen my clothing items on her instagram feed and in her apartment's closet, i know for a fact i'm not a paranoid schizophrenic and she just says that to make me feel bad.
sorry for the long rant - i am just so freaking angry and needed to write this out somewhere.
and yes i'm making a big deal out of it because this has been happening for years. the things i own don't feel like i really own them if someone like her can just waltz in and take them without my consent.
i just feel so defeated.
why bother shopping and finding something thats so pretty when you know that it might go missing in a few months..
Lock your room?
Physically fight her?
You're only getting walked all over because she considers you a coward, so stop being a coward.
>>57181>Lock your room?
i don't have a key and lock to my room. i can lock my door from the inside if i'm there. i wasn't there to hide inside and lock the door this time and thats when she strikes these days. anyway she can easily lockpick my door and will do it if i did lock it so it doesn't even matter>Physically fight her?
that's too aggressive and violent.
all i can do is confront her but she just brushes me off and keeps up the bad behaviour.
the problem isn't with me but with her.
she doesn't respect boundaries at all.
all i can do is moan, bitch and complain to her to make her stop, but that just drives her into a spiteful rage and she steals even more of my items.
one time i contacted her boyfriend to speak with her and then she was the one to spin it against me and said i have the boundary issues.
i guess i just realized i have an abusive sister who abuses me and i don't know what to do about it.
How does your closet door close? Is it a door in frame or sliding door or what?
You can buy lockable door knobs on Amazon, it's not too expensive and they're easy to install.
You can definitely report this as a crime as well.
it's a sliding door closet so not much you can do with security there. also have a dresser with drawers that's free for the pickings>>57184
i might do that and get a key but like i said she'll just lockpick it. i hate how i have to act like i'm living among criminals instead of family. i wouldn't report it as a crime though - that's taking it too far and she is my sister. just a shitty sister who doesn't respect people's personal belongings. she doesn't steal clothes from my other sister, just me.
i fucking hate it.
she says im too ugly to wear nice things and that i don't have anyone to dress nicely for.
she's awful and evil and i hope she gets out of my life forever
There's also tons of fingerprint or key card only door locks.
Honestly I think reporting it would be good. She needs to back off, and that's what a cop on your front step will hopefully accomplish. It's not like you'll press charges and take it to court anyway.
She sounds really mean, I wouldn't think twice about calling them. Being family doesn't mean you should let them abuse or hurt you. She doesn't seem to care about you despite being family, so I don't think you should care about her. My own extended family has refused to call the cops on other family members who were stealing and abusing them, and today they all regret not doing it.
Do people read blogs anymore? Might be worth trying.
no. venting on here or other imageboards is perfect i think. completely anonymous so you can say whatever you want and you're guaranteed to have someone read your posts.
explain african tribal women. never even heard of a bra but they got the saggiest titties on this planet even before having children
Fair point. But I don't want a discussion of larp, just someone to read my story and learn from it.
A lot of people read random blogspots they come across on Google searches. If you want people to see your post then just add some keywords to help people find it.
that's great advice, thank you.
Why not share a bit of it here?
A lot of my story is relatable to a specific audience. I tried to share on /GIOYC/, it didn't go well …
i want to be a silly and wholesome streamer but im too insecure right now. i hope one day ill feel confident enough to do it, maybe after some weight loss. id also like to make music again but i feel like its impossible so i stop myself. also going to be busy with a job and school again and im scared i wont have time to focus on my dreams.
i know its not a good idea so i do have a backup plan with college and stuff, but the ideal life would be making music and crafts and supporting myself from streams. i think im pretty likable, just shy. id even troll if i had to, itd be fun!
i feel really bad because when i was younger id sometimes steal/borrow my older sister’s clothing items…i was too insecure and scared to buy similar items, and i think probably not allowed because she had lots of crop tops and stuff.
i ended up asking and sometimes shed say yes which helped. maybe you can go shopping with her and help her pick out some stuff? or tell her to ask and let her borrow sometimes
I have to get my life together somehow, but I just don't have the will to do it. Everything is overwhelming. Going outside makes me feel sick. I don't feel like I fit in this world
What's the smallest possible action you could take to improve your life right now?
The more you go without talking the harder it will be.
Really hate how some women think putting down other women's physical traits is a good way to soothe someone's insecurities. Do you really have to badmouth people with feature A/B/C and say we're jealous so that anyone with feature X/Y/Z can feel confident and secure in themselves?
I'd expect this from moids who like pitting us against each other, but not from other women who are much more likely to know how it is to deal with body image issues. I wished I could un-read those posts. Feeling kinda worthless now, to be honest.
it's always a nice thing to ask but this girl never asks me to borrow my things ever and when i'm nice and say yes she just never returns it.
i think sharing clothes between two sisters is wholesome and nice and very sisterly, it's just hard to do with someone who exploits you and doesn't know boundaries.
btw this is my older sister and i think my fashion doesn't suit her.
i am pretty sure it is some weird psychological power play over me because she only does mean things to me when something nice is playing out in my life. >>57186
i think investing in all those fancy gadgets and calling the cops on here is taking it too far. i'm calm now after that incident and can think clearly. i have decided not to buy anything nice for myself until i get my own place. i won't ever invite her to my own home - but for now, while i'm living with my parents and the rest of my family, i'll just suck it up and not buy anything. watch all my old items she likes disappear.
hey, a friend of mine was just like you they really wanted to stream but were afraid no one would like them but i would always encourage them. well eventually they started streaming and after a few years they're doing pretty good. in fact i think many of the things they were afraid people would dislike, turned out to be things people really like.
maybe you don't feel like you're ready, and that's alright. but don't be scared, there's going to be people that like you no matter what.
you don't need a backup plan tbh. maybe get a job now, or go to school now, but don't worry so much about failure, once you've cemented yourself online you'll be pretty hard to get rid of. another friend of mine blew the fuck up, she was travelling all over the place, meeting lots of new people, and having a great time. turns out she fucked half the people she met and "cheated on" a streamer/youtuber with a massive following. a few million people found out about it and absolutely hated her. that was a year ago, now she's back to streaming and doing okay.
i dont think you're going to go down the same path as her, but just know that if you do choose to, you'll probably be fine
thank you so much, this helps a lot. even if im busy with other things i want to make time for it and i think i will be able to.
im not ready yet, no, but ive had this dream for a while so im going to work harder to get to a place where i feel less insecure on camera.
Or you could just buy a lock. It's not a big deal, say it's for privacy if you need to.
Don't let one creep ruin your hobbies. If you won't say somethign at least see if you can just limit your interactions with him. Don't sit close enough that he could do it again.
Would you consider it normal for a man of any age to touch you unsolicited?
Oh, I see.
It's possible that it could be, but even if he didn't think he was doing anything wrong that doesn't change how you feel about it.
If you feel like he's otherwise a decent person, you could try talking to him directly about it and telling him that it made you uncomfortable. Aside from that, the easiest solution would probably just be keeping distance from him given that there doesn't seem to be any authority to go to in this case.
I NEED ADVICE
I have a job where I like my coworkers and it is close to home. Those are basically the only good things about this job. Every day is extremely repetitive and monotonous. I am bored to the point of misery every day because all I do is scan and file things. For hours. I’m not using my brain at all. A robot could do it. I want to leave but I’d feel guilty leaving my coworkers, plus I’ve only worked here for a couple months now. I don’t know how much longer i can take this monotony.
Get a hidden war piece and listen to audiobooks
definitely get some airpods or something like them and listen to audiobooks or podcasts like the other anon said. i have a pretty boring office job where i hardly do anything and that's the only thing that gets me through it.
are people really this afraid of being alone?
last time i was in a relationship was like seven years ago and I've been alone for most of my life.
sure it gets pretty lonely sometimes, but I'd rather be alone than with someone I don't like.
How do you know you were being groomed, because I don't know what's wrong or weird for someone to do/say ?
i miss my ex a lot and we still talk but ever since i moved back with my mother i feel so empty and alone. i dont want a job because im too scared to work again but i want something i can keep busy with, i dont want to feel completely useless. i feel so lost
>make an awesome online friend at the ripe age of 13 years old
>be very happy
>so happy my deranged teenage brain, in its overwhelming self-hatred, eventually pulls a BSoD and decides to deal with the unfamiliar by sabotaging itself and ghosting friend, abandoning every account I communicated with them on with no clear explanation
>by the time I pull myself back together somewhat, it is far too late, and I can't bring myself to face them again after what I'd done
>fast forward to almost a decade later
>still feel like absolute shit about it, still can't help but think about them sometimes, as the time spent exchanging art and words with them is one of the fondest memories of my otherwise abysmal, isolated childhod
>look up their social media every once in a blue moon to see how they're doing, hoping for their own good that they barely remember me, if at all, at this point
>one of their recent tweets is a "I wish all online friends who vanished one day a very pleasant evening" meme
>tagged with: my name and "I know it's been 9 years but I hope you're well and still miss you"
You should try to contact them.
An online friend contacted me years after he ghosted me, and I was over the moon so happy.
I hope you find the bravery in your heart to reach out!
It feels so good to not have time for that pos trash website lolcow anymore. whew
Anon, this is a chance most people would DREAM of.
Don't let this opportunity pass you by, go ahead and talk to them.
If I were you, i'd post "hey [name], it's been a while" and let the conversation carry itself from there. 9 years of experiences without them gives you endless stuff to talk about.
If he really wants to talk to you like the post says, I can't think of any negative outcomes. But if he asks why you disappeared (I doubt he will if he's still posting about you), just say "I wasn't in a good place mentally, but i'm better now" and most people ive spoken to wouldn't press further than that.
A thing that I do when posting something that i'm anxious about is just press send and close whatever program I was using so I don't end up staring at the post, rereading it and waiting until they reply.
Good luck, anon!
I've worked at this shitty retail job for years, and during that time the only physical contact I have with coworkers are high fives.
I used to hate being touched when I first started, but now I just want a hug, but it'd be too out of character to ask for one (not to mention I don't even know how to ask for one). My coworkers would surely think i'm crushing on whoever I asked first. There's no way i'd survive constantly being teased about that.
I've legit never hugged or even held hands with someone that wasn't related to me, and i'm in my mid 20s now.
I know there's still time and all but FUCK someone just hold me already.
Ditto what the others are saying, listen to audiobooks or podcasts or something. If they don't make you put your hair up, it should be easy enough to hide a wireless earbud/bluetooth headset.
I had a job as a cashier for a while where I could be like 80% mentally checked out almost the entire day, I hardly even had to speak to customers. Eventually I'd listened to 1000+ hours of podcasts and even that started to get old, but it made it bearable for a couple years at least.
It feels so good to not have time for fugly girls, mutifags, SWJs, coomers, larpers,moralfags. Whew!
Thank you for your words of encouragement and advice, anons.
I was just about to finish typing out a separate long vent on what kind of conversation someone like me, a dysfunctional autistic shut-in who dropped their creative pursuits and dreams and might as well have been in limbo ever since graduating HS, could even offer at this point. After all, they're smart, very well-read, and following their passions (and doing damn well at them) to this day. Despite struggling with mental illness like I did, they seem to have a job in a favored field, a loving boyfriend, an active social life with like-minded friends both online and IRL. They're too damn cool in comparison.
But there's something else I just stumbled upon, on a site which, in my eternal shame, I'd kept sealed away from my eyes until today. Not only are things still there that definitely shouldn't be if their keeper wanted the past buried, one of the relics was clearly well-maintained, and revisited semi-recently at the very least. There's a limit to how much my heart can take and do nothing, even if it's under constant siege by crippling anxiety and Shadows of Fuckups Past and Yet to Come.
So… I'll do my best to put bad thoughts aside and reach out. I wonder what I'll find upon dusting off that ancient account. It's a big part of myself I left behind there, with all the cringeworthy teenage testimonies I inflicted upon that corner of the web. Makes one want to go back in time just to stay the hand that typed them. Such is life.
I'll have to wait a bit, sadly, as I have crucial deadlines approaching and this'd render my headspace inhospitable to thoughts of any other subject matter. But what's one more week after a decade, right?
Are “intrusive thoughts” and unwanted thoughts different things?
go get your drama-fix, so you can enjoy your miserable pseudo-proper life
sorry in advance for the textwall im just really sad and want to dump my feelings somewhere, you dont have to read this
for context my childhood friend of 7 years recently ( and by that i mean 5 months ago ) broke off contact with me seemingly out of nowhere
for months i thought i was taking it well because i was unaffected and went on with my life normally even though i thought i would kill myself if i lost her ( i know… sorry ) but i think its just now kicking in that ive really lost her and that we're never going to make up and be buddies again especially now that i dont have anywhere to contact them anymore
i just had a nightmare yesterday that i had found them somehow and sent them a message by accident and they started typing and then blocked me and i woke up in cold sweat ( the industrial revolution and its consequences… i know the dream is very 21st century im sorry but it really did scare me to my core ) and now i cant stop crying because i miss them so much
i found that they changed the name of one of the playlists they made for me from "for [my name]" to just "lol" and for some reason just thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach
what makes all of this worse is that we promised eachother that we would live and grow old together
i was really looking forward to the day i was going to fly out to meet them and i was so convinced we were soulmates but now we're never going to speak to eachother and have fun ever again and i can forget about my love life entirely because i dont think i will ever love anyone the same way i loved them
no ones been here for me the way they were and no one was as patient with me as they were ill never find anybody as loving and tender and now theyre gone forever and i cant do anything about it
what hurts the most is that the last time i had something of them it seemed like they were totally over me which i understand
i honestly get why they left me i was too insane and demented last year and i guess it was too much for them to take in thats perfectly reasonable and i dont resent them for it
i just wish i could go back and apologize and i wish we could still go through with the plan we had for eachother
im changed forever and still wish them the best in life and i hope they succeed in whatever they take on i wish them happiness and peace and a long life of success
ill be keeping them forever in my heart and prayers
ps: on the same playlist they changed the name of the bio changed to "are you there?" i dont really know what that means and i have no idea what to do with that information
why can't you make-up? did it end badly?
it didnt but even if i was given the chance i dont think we would
also ummm before they stopped talking to me i sent them a message while pissed off where i asked why things were so messed up because we would only talk like once every two weeks whereas for the last 7 years we'd speak to eachother everyday and at every hour :( and in the message i said goodbye and that we wouldnt be speaking to eachother again if they kept it up and im pretty sure they read the message and didnt reply since they changed their profile picture and screen name
ughhh now i realize how stupid this sounds seeing how it was all online im sorry about that i think im just going to try and forget i ever met them or something im so embarrassed
( thank you for taking the time to reply by the way :) i appreciate that and sorry for textwalling again )
also i lost all contact with them anyway so even if i were to apologize for everything i cant because i have nowhere to tell them that all i have left is their youtube where they made me the playlist
( sorry for replying twice i forgot to say this in my first reply my bad ; __ ; )
im really sorry anon, not to make this about myself but i recently lost my ex (it was an online relationship to real life and now im back home) so i wanted to try to respond and comfort or help you, because i know that feeling is awful.
if things didnt end so badly, and because its been a few months now (i think?) i dont think it wouldnt hurt to maybe reach out to them on youtube asking to speak. even if its just an apology, and they dont wish to talk to you anymore, at least you can have closure with yourself and know you did the right thing.
if not then i guess all you can do is try to move past it and not blame either party…maybe they had a lot going on personally that they didnt disclose. and the “are you there?” in the bio confuses me! i have no doubt they miss/think of you as well.
i just honestly dont think an apology would hurt if you think you are strong enough for it, but you have to ask yourself what you want out of this. if you can move on without an apology because you know things wont change, i guess dont give one. do you want to make-up, even if you doubt you will? or do you just want to know what happened? or do you just want to move on from this all?
i dont want you to hurt yourself anymore with false hope. sorry if this is messy! but dont assume things, just ask yourself what you want from this situation and go from there (whether it be to just apologize and have closure, make-up, or not check their youtube anymore/move on from the friendship) in the end, at least you tried to do something.
thank you so much for taking the time to reply nona i will try to do what you said i think ill reach out but i dont know if im ready yet… just the thought makes me feel super nervous i dont really know if ill be doing the right thing maybe ill disrupt their life again or something i feel like they're better off without me as much as i miss them
but you are right i must do something
, i will think about it and then once i decide i'll come back here and update you if anything happens
have a good day and thank you again ^_^ may you see happiness and be surrounded by love in your future
>like is okay
>shit job but it's a job
>credit fine, no debt, friends, the shebang
>lovebombed me in beginning
>I fell for it
>move in together months later
>find out they lied and hid their past
>keep finding out hidden lies for months
>other stuff between them and their friends
>they lost almost all of them because of it
>some also my friends
>lost them by proxy
>despite clean place when we met they don't know how to do chores
>find out they don't budget
>discover their alcoholism
>be me again
>usually isolate and introvert
>spend time with (girl) friend(s)
>they got jealous
>even through all of this partner recognizes bad behavior and apologizes
>holding on by a thread
>start focusing on fixing my career life
>partner refuses to visit my family in another state
>they constantly promise things and never fulfills promises
>constant false hope
>never take me on dates
>skin breaking out all the time now
>they never clean
>I stop cleaning because (see above)
>apartment is always trashed
>start getting seriously ill even though generally healthy
>fit and never get sick
>suddenly flu, covid, need a surgeries
>partner played vidya while I was suffering
>now in debt, credit fucked, and more!
>constant money problems begging partner to budget
>more empty promises
>finally fulfills week trip to visit my family
>partners parents call to chat with them
>they think I'm emotionally abusing him
>something breaks inside of me
>meant to get a new job
>partner's parents finally bring up budgeting and chores
>they always imply I'm part of the problem
>"you guys need to communicate"
I did and thank you. Guess this place is just like 4chan after All …
I cant check lolcow currently, on meta people are warning a scrote is posting gore. Not gonna lie im kinda angry that the mods over there are so slow with deleting stuff like that.
I just checked back there. Blue boards are cleanish.
holy fuck anon i literally just went through this shit and my ex’s mom acted like i was the problem when i spoke up…now im back home with my mom and i feel so broken but safer
Why is everyone so opinionated? If I wanted an opinion, I'd asked for it. People get so shocked when my kitty claws go for the jugular.
Everyone has an opinion. Even just asking a simple question gets a snark response. Offline or online.
Then they act like snowflakes when I don't want to hear their text box responses or life stories. I just wanted a simple answer!
It's like asking a yes and no question and getting a paragraph answer.
What do you find attractive about him?
I hate having BPD. The concept of trust is so foreign to me. Trust is never a smooth ordeal for me, it's like, always a choice, and I don't understand how people can just trust the people they're close to.
I have worked hard to minimize my symptoms and it is definitely working, but internally, I still feel like a wreck, especially since I decided to quit my antipsychotics and mood stabilizers. I cry every day again, but at least I'm not constantly picking fights with my boyfriend. I wish I could wake up normal and be like my boyfriend who likely doesn't really think about me to the degree I think about him and invests all his time in hobbies. I mean, I do practice hobbies and I read and work and all that, and I've gotten a degree before him, but it's so mechanical and forced for me whereas I can see he gets an actual joy out of it. I vaguely feel happy if I'm with him, but when I'm with him I basically do everything wants and start to abandon myself. I need to work on that.
I just wish I were improving faster.
All I can say is that you should be proud of any non-zero improvements. I know it's rough that these things take time, but any movement beyond zero means you're at least headed a direction, possibly a good one.
i want to slam my head into a brick wall at terminal velocity and, as my consciousness leaves me, i want to curse the bloodline that saw my birth
Well I'm not going to miss a day of my SSRI again, holy shit
Hhhhhhh I have to clean the fish tank today. Lord give me the willpower to get out of bed and take care of my smelly fish friends… I'll do it after I watch this episode of fairy ranmaru, I promise.
Hmm. The episode was alright, I guess. Could have done with a few more ass shots though…
On the bright side, the tank has been sorted and the fish are happy. Success.
> Goes to job finding place just to end up getting yelled at by some old lady;
> I moved here only a year ago, she kept angrily yelling and asking "WHY I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING OVER PAST 3 YEARS" (I am only 20yo), when I live there only for a year (I am looking for a job ever since I got my ID) and spent the other one doing document work in order to move out;
> She sent me to a different building because I am registered in a "different area", when this place is closer than a place where she sends me to (1hr difference), and website said that you can register at any place (which I found out only after leaving);
> At the end she mumbled "fucking %my nationality%, thinking I do not know swearings in their language;
Well, being a non-eu(I'm not a burger btw) immigrant in Europe is fun. Duh. News hate us and our president, Americans hate us, internet hates us… I don't know what to even do at this point lol
Women and men have been in a sexual cold war since the dawn of time. It's a zero sum game and the sooner we all figure this out, the better.
It's probably best that we all go our separate ways and just organize reproductive contracts instead of lovey dovey stuff.
I like my spouse, sorry femseperatists.
>>57512>just organize reproductive contracts
So political marriages minus the patriarchy? Bet>>57514
I like my partner too I just like larping as a based radfem more. He hates it lol
You're so wrong. What makes you think you have knowledge of the personal feelings and relationships of billions of people who you've never met nor communicated with?
>The miner who abandoned the guy who has seizures post was removed
Anonymous Admin 57546
It was most likely bait (judging from the user's other posts) and so were several of the posters arguing for and against OP.
(Many comments were from legitimate users, but I always remove residual comments just to keep the thread readable and to discourage bait posters from coming back and continuing the conversation)
Male bait confirmed.
Sux because I wasted a cute pic to respond to it
How did you even manage to immigrate into the EU without having a job?
my sister bought a dog for my dad. i was against it, only because I'm allergic to dogs. but she did it anyway, and i figured it wouldn't be so bad.
now they expect me to take care of it because I only work part time. this mutt is driving me insane. i take it out to piss, it refuses to go, so i bring it back in and it pisses on the floor. i'm so mad that neither of them care about this animal, cause i always feel so bad when its chewing on its toys alone cause i cant play with it without my eyes swelling up and leaking for 3 hours.
also the damn dog doesn't even like me, even after all I've done for it. it constantly jumps, scratches and bites me when i try to pet it and it gets even meaner when they're around. its fucking bullshit, i spend the most time with it and it hates me.
is it cringe moidshit or based fujobait
not to bring it up more but>abandoned
>>57553>i take it out to piss, it refuses to go, so i bring it back in and it pisses on the floor.
I had a crush on my aunt, I can admit it now.
Do you gals watch Free by any chance?
we really need to do away with the buying animals for people as a gift thing. the only, and i mean ONLY time that is acceptable is when a pet passes away and someone expresses the desire to get another pet anyways soon or something. the animal suffers and other people are left to take care of it, usually resulting in it being given away. your sister is crazy inconsiderate.
i have a crush on a girl in my class and today was the last day of the semester
Pure unadulterated fujobait with fan service out the ass. It's actually too
on the nose I think. It's entertaining but don't go in expecting any plot or anything like that.>>57561
I watched free when it came out all those years ago. Good times. It's a lot more tasteful compared to the shit I watch now kek. Oh, and Nagisa is best boy hehe
>come up with an interesting concept for a story
>suck at writing
Someone please kill me.
the women in my family think im a race traitor and im 100% ok with that. since we're politicizing EVERY ASPECT of black women's lives (like united statesians are so fond of doing) lets castrate black men while we're at it. cull the violent crime epidemic already. im peaking
uhhh, i dont think white men are actually raping women less, dude. they're just not getting caught or penalized because they're more sympathized with by the courts and LE
>>57596>they're just not getting caught or penalized because they're more sympathized with by the courts and LE
Alright, so what about Asians? Or Indians? Or Hispanics? Or literally any other minority?
If it was just a "white majority privilege" issue, wouldn't all minorities be equally overrepresented?
How do I stop conflating moid image board culture with reality?
Previously, I tried my best to base my opinion of someone entirely upon their own character, and tried never to assume anything to be true about anyone before talking to them myself. Yes, we can make observations about certain peoples or groups, and some of these may very well be useful or true, but being rid of this presupposing attitude, at least on an individual basis, makes life much easier, and you are able to access a full, unrestricted palette of people this way. But after browsing here almost daily for a year or so, this notion has been destroyed.
I now actively search for places where the most depraved of men, the lowest of the low basement dwellers, tend to post (namely 8ch). It's a morbid curiosity type thing I suppose, but I also visit to find out first hand the things you all accuse them of. I cover my screen with a blanket and sit under it out of shame before doing this and then, thinking I'm overdoing things a bit, reflect upon how they might sit at their monitor. No covering for them, no; sprawled across a creaking chair they half-sit half-lay, cum-stained body pillow in one hand and greasy mouse in the other, wrist only supported by the tits of a hentai mousepad. I read all of the things they say about children and I begin to think you're all spot on about men.
I switch the computer off, talk to the good men in my life and all I can think about are those posts. I try my hardest to attribute those posts to the type of men I described, the autist neckbeard types, but with each visit this grotesquely perverse nature asserts itself in my mind as universal truth of the male.
The man I'm talking to, he secretly agrees with them, doesn't he? Yes, he is decent, respectable, mature, has no clue what 4chins is and has never watched a chinese cartoon; but I know that deep down he thinks women are for impregnating only, that we are all perma-children and that we are worth nothing past a certain age. Or maybe that he is all a front, and when he gets home he does visit 4chan, becomes a coomer once again, and thus resigns himself to the worser portion of his sex (although 'portion' implies the existence of good men).
This isn't actually true of all men, is it? I just want to know what they really think, what they really believe to be true and just, whether they are all truly slaves to their biology or not - but I always conclude that the only place to find this out is on mongolian basket weaving forums because they are the most masculine-brained places I can find.
Pic rel is me rn
This is exactly what I have been going through. Its especially worse when I want to marry someone and have kids, and then I remember all of the degenerate things that I have seen being posted by men on imageboards. Honestly, at this point I just browse CC and just focus on other things other than men. Its the only think that literally prevents me from having a breakdown and isolating myself from the world.
I think it's true of most men, yes. It might not be as bad as the degeneracy chantards preach, but a decent guy without completely disgusting thoughts and desires is rare>>57607
You have to be straight retarded to want to have kids with a man lmao. like, fuck your shit up by all means and take the chances despite terrible odds and try to live day in and day out forcing yourself to believe they miiiiight be decent deep down, but don't bring kids into it and end up in family court with these psychos. most of them are not even just low-key pedophilic ffs
as far as how to fix it, i don't know just that just talking to "good men" will allay your fears bc we never truly know people, much less well socialized men who know what's appropriate to reveal irl, and what isn't. personally i just don't expect anything of them and don't really want much to do with them. if anything i just fantasize nonsexually about them but know they're not worth dealing with. even when i'm not so worried about their worst traits, they tire me with their emotional expectations of me as a woman. just don't focus on them positively outside of sensible daydreams and don't expect anything good of them. really get familiar with this reality and that you should work towards being emotionally + financially self sufficient from them, and mostly distant from them, and you'll be alright getting through life.
I don't see any more reason to think by default that all men are terrible misogynists and coomers, deep down or otherwise, than for men to think that all women are secretly shallow/whores/gold diggers/etc based on accounts that they read online.
Terrible people exist. Certain amounts of "pre-judging" can be a good thing for one's safety, of course. If you see someone who looks dangerous, you're better off keeping your distance than getting their life story and taking that chance. But beyond that, especially regarding people in your life that you already know, I don't see what you have to gain from secretly suspecting that they're terrible people beyond simply distressing yourself and harming your relationships.
That sort of thinking is why men and women are at each other's throats so frequently. I've literally read the exact same "They're incapable of true love and only care about looks/money/status/etc, as opposed to US who want actual romance" posts both here and on /r9k/.
Stop thinking about what beliefs individual people secretly hold. It's paranoia and will only make your life worse. Talk to them about it, if you like, but don't bother if you're just going to disregard whatever they say and continue assuming their real thoughts.
i wasnt defending white men (or men period) by any stretch my friend. black culture is fucked beyond measure and i wish the rest of my family would realize this instead of insinuating i hate my race simply because i am critical of the prevailing sociocultural attitudes in our community. i love my brothers and sisters but we need to be doing so much fucking better man
these are not two sides of the same coin at all at all at all
House of Leaves is kicking my ass.
I just assume all men are like that at this point. I've seen posters for redpill/mgtow at my university so it actually is a real life issue for me, not just nebulous "basement dwellers" that people try to say to gaslight us out of taking this stuff seriously.
I'm feeling pretty great, friends. In the span of the last two days I have gotten a promotion much earlier than average for my position and seen a number on the scale that's below a weight plateau I was stuck at for a while.
hoping similar good fortune finds all of you too <3
Academic writing is the hardest fucking thing I've had to do all my life. I can do exhaustive exams, group projects, and sometimes even presentations, with no issue. I absolutely do not have the braincells to produce a motherfucking book of my own. You can't give me a blank paper and expect me to fill it with coherent non-copypasted sentences. I absorb information I do not "rephrase" it. I can write funny short little stories and paint abstract pictures I saw in my dreams oh and also translate comics from japanese, i can't "consult sources". I barely remember how to use my native language. I've been hyperfocusing on this all day until now and all I could produce is four fucking sentences. I have written 9 pages total in months and feel like i've absolutely exhausted everything i could say on this subject I don't know anything more about it. No i couldn't come up with another one. I have to go outside and run for thirty minutes every time in order to steel myself to open the document because looking at it, just thinking about it, is making me panic. MY BRAIN IS FUCK!!! And i'm still autistic.
I hate this, I hate myself, there is no thesis-eligible subject I give enough of a fuck about to devote 50+ pages of heavily structured writing to, and I'm going to either drop out or need to repeat the year again because of this since the deadline is june 16th and I have 9 pages finished LOL. I should have just insisted on trying to pick up some shitty retail job and moving out instead of letting my father goad me into uni in accordance with his MUH INTELLECTUAL BLOODLINE while not giving a fuck about how I feel and dragging me through the mud at the slighest mistake. Every waking moment i wish with my whole being that he hadn't reproduced. Sorry I'm being dramatic but I'm legitimately crying and having my scheduled daily breakdown over this right now and I have nothing even vaguely resembling a support system. I have literally no one to speak to irl. I don't want to live in society I want to run away into forest and get hugged by a deer or maybe even human being because i haven't experienced this in over six years.
If you're feeling like whatever positive thing you said was a lie, you are quoting or acting on what you perceive others to find positive and then mimicking that. This then obviously fails because you're going to mentally reject the construct. The positives have to come from you, you yourself have to dare to actually find something positive that you personally view as positive.
If that fails, you can always fall back to another set up, which is figuring out what ideally you would find positive, and imitating that ideal of yourself as accurately as you can.
Thought you were talking about cock and ball torture for a second there.
I've never been drunk, nor had the desire to be. I don't like the taste of any alcohols I've ever tried either, so I just don't ever drink. I've never done any sort of drugs, actually.
I've just never seen a reason to bother. It seems to me like an awful lot of expense and long-term downsides for not very much benefit at all.
I've seen that abbreviation multiple times now in these threads and that's always the first place my mind goes as well.
I’m in more or less the same kind of situation like you just a bit worse. Can do anything without much of an issue except academic writing. It’s my last year and I failed to force myself to write a thesis and finish my copy-pasted, elementary-school level coursework. I was thinking of buying one, but now idk even… I hate my subject so much, I was also forced, pressured into uni by my parents, because you are only half-human if you don’t have a meme degree. I dropped out of (free) college first year after finishing hs, because it was totally not my bag and got depressed. Last week of august my mom signed me up without my knowledge into uni in a subject that “is easy because it’s not stem etc”. I hate the subject overall, but first two years were a walk in the park and and I knew that in the 3-4th year I will be fucked, so here I am now.
My advice would be to either drop out or buy your academic works. I’m thinking of passively-aggressively* dropping out atm.
University entrance exams are exactly a month from now and I am not fucking prepared at all. I had a whole year to study for it but I did jack shit the entire time. All I feel is existential dread whenever I catch a glimpse of the giant stack of unread textbooks on my desk. Even when I work up the courage to crack open one of these books I can't even concentrate because all I can think about is how it's impossible and how I can't fucking do this shit. This is the third year in a row that I'm taking this exam and I'm probably going to fail this year too. What the hell do I answer to my parents when I inevitably come back with an abysmal score? What do I tell them when they ask me what I've been doing for a whole year? 'I swear I'm not retarded I'm just a lazy bum'? Best I can hope for at this point is that no one but me shows up for the exam and they'll have no choice but to accept me since I'll be the only applicant… in my fucking dreams. I don't know what to do anymore…
>>57640> 'I swear I'm not retarded I'm just a lazy bum'?
You're scared of looking at the books because it might actually prove you're retarded. Do you want to know or prefer to remain ignorant on the matter?
You have a whole month, it's better to just start studying now. Most textbooks have summary notes for studying. You're not a lazy bum, you're scared of failure and disappointing your parents. Anon is there any way you can apply to other schools? Even if you pass, you never know what type of offers you could get.
I hate that anything educational has to be narrated by English people, I guess because somehow it makes the content seem more credible?
Can't watch one historical documentary without annoying English narrators or "experts" shoehorned into the thing. It's unbearable, and particularly on places like Youtube, these people choose to put on and exaggerate their accents to sound even more posh and refined.
Just wait until Chinese becomes the de facto language for communicating globally.
to be fair, my dad was fully aware he was getting a dog. my sister asked him and made sure he wanted for a week before buying it.
what I think really happened was that she started working at a pet store selling dogs and after being around puppies all day she wanted one herself, so she came up with an excuse to buy one. Now we have a dog that no one really takes care of and it makes me feel bad. Like I just wish it was with someone who could take better care of it.
is your dad just a retarded manchild then? why is no one else taking care of the dog?? she also sounds like she shouldn't be working at a pet store. i imagine she's probably pushing these animals on people who can't realistically handle the responsibility
I never check that board but wtf is a balls thread? Literally just balls? You masturbated to just balls?
i dont want to exist anymore. i feel so unloved and unstable since this breakup and this guy i told i was attracted to said im too unstable to be with :( i just am trying to heal from my ex. i feel like a burden and not good enough…i just want to learn how to love myself and be confident and independent instead of being a loser missing her ex and hurting over it.
Is anyone else genuinely shitty to people online to vent anger? I take it out on people. Then I’ll regret it after.
Sorry for blog
Went out to dinner tonight with this woman who is obsessed with my stepdad. Afterwards for dessert she mentioned root beer floats but the place we wanted to go to was closed so I suggested we pick up some stuff at the supermarket and make our own root beer floats in the park. We did this and it wasn't until I was eating my float that I realized I'm autistic and there's no reason why this person would want to waste an hour doing this with me when she just wants to pick my brain about my stepdad and vent to me about him. She said it was fun but I'm sorry I made her feel obligated to spend time with me.
Then afterwards I came home and the tenants of my apartment were having a barbecue and I had to hang out and act like I don't hate myself some more. I know I'm such a loser to those people and they are all wondering what's wrong with me and why I'm single and spend all my time alone and never bring anyone home or any friends over
i cant sees.jpg
homygosh i have this messed up thing where if an x person is associated with y interest/trait/object and I like y, then people will think I am x, I am so afraid to be myself and I judge myself to the point where I stop enjoying things. Like i tried stopped wearing thigh highs whenever I sleep because MtFs seem to wear them. I have never even wore them in public, but whenever I wear them I then think "ugghhh jeez i look like a tranny people think i am a tranny ahhh" wtf why am i like this i am deliberatly sucking the fun out of myself. and I like wearing thigh highs because I feel protected and i love wearing long socks when i sleep, it literally brings me comfort how do i stop judging myself
I don't know whether trannies wear them or not but they don't wear them as good as you dear
thigh highs on women are not like thigh highs on men. i don't understand how anyone can enjoy having socks on while they sleep though… that's sociopath shit. they're foot and leg prisons
>>57678>i don't understand how anyone can enjoy having socks on while they sleep though… that's sociopath shit
NTA, but I sleep in my full set of clothing from the day. The only thing I bother taking off are my shoes.
Today my coworker told me proudly that she doesn't have any problem at all with her boyfriend visiting strip clubs and even supports that. She doesn't understand how other women are so jealous that they don't let their boyfriends do this.
What she also told me is that her boyfriend only goes on vacation alone and just happened to meet some of the strippers there who happened to be on vacation in the same place at the same time. What a coincidence! So funny!
The whole thing is so disgusting. Why would you support this caveman behaviour? How can you be okay with that and even tell your coworkers all about it?
I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than letting someone treat me like this.
Men convince women that being what's essentially a cuckquean is super cool and every other girl who isn't chill is a prude that isn't attractive by virtue of being "crazy", so idk she's just delusional and flexing about how chill she is, I guess. She's bragging while he's lining up her replacement. She might not know yet that he's literally cheating, but he'll probably beat her down about it should she ever feel jealous and betrayed.
This is self harm and you can't change my mind
I would go crazy. I can't even sleep in a nightshirt
Im so horny its unreal but I am not capable of doing fwb or hookups. I can only have sex in a relationship AHHHHHHHHH but the dating scene is fucked up AHHHHHHH
thank you for your kind comment, I will just keep on saying this to myself for now on and hopefully I can override my own self-criticism>>57678>i don't understand how anyone can enjoy having socks on while they sleep though… that's sociopath shit. they're foot and leg prisons
I have honestly always felt safe and protected whenever i wear socks and thigh highs. I also have some sensory processing issues, and I dont like having my bare feet touch anything or be at risk of feeling anything gross, and socks just dont feel gross to me. But i absolutely HATE loose fitting and ankle socks>>57686
You are a videogame character.
I stopped cooking due to depression and money problems. My boyfriend's main source of food is fast food. I'm a good cook but I feel so demotivated and gross. I've started adopting his diet because it's too difficult to get him to eat real food and I feel like shit all the time.
That sucks anon, it is hard to get motivated to cook when you're just cooking for yourself (since you said he won't eat it). I say cook something for your friends. Now that summer is here throw a barbecue/picnic and cook your heart out.
I thought the ex was going to be my ex when I posted this. I'm still with him. I'm also a whore I guess, lol. Only reason I got with online bf is because I thought he was different after my "ex" hurt me many times… I'm losing interest in both of them. I think I will be single and look for happiness in something that is not men. I think I've woken up, nonnies.
gray is a man?
lmao of course. yeah all my (ex) male friends have said the same thing. or just any man, ask any man that isn't trying to lie to you and they will admit it. i don't mind that they admit it, but that's why there's all the more reason for women to give it up and stop trying to idealize these people that don't or can't feel for you the way you feel for them
their mentalities were the same pre-porn
this reminds me of when i was in middle school and slept with all my clothes (including a heavy jacket and bra) + shoes on just in case i had to leave early kek
Lol, what a loser. Only proof you were too gracious in giving him the benefit of the doubt that he might be a person worth speaking to. I like how you tell him you went through a tough time and immediately he has to make it about himself and get angry.
I hope you feel better and that whatever is plaguing you goes away so you don't feel this way. I'm not sure what your situation is, but there are solutions out there. Not saying this to express disapproval btw.
>>57891>give it up and stop trying to idealize these people that don't or can't feel for you the way you feel for them
This stance just feels like inverse MGTOW shit, though.
01. Land of the Lu…
hate feeling alone
loneliness hitting so hard that my chest hurts
so much quarantine weight and it doesn't wanna go away, I'm considering posting nudes online to get bullied or at the very least get an orbiter to send nudes to regularly, I was at my best weight when I had orbiters to send nudes to, it kept me from binging and made me work on looking decent.
I'm desperate. I can't stop eating.
step 1 stop using wankers to validate your self image, horny people online do not care what your body looks like so whatever you get from it you'd still just be exploiting yourself
I hope my mom is okay. She started working in a factory (I guess she just wanted something to do, since Covid kind of fucked up her teaching deal) and her coworkers have been making weird threats towards her. Shit like "I'm gonna slap you XDDD" and general violence.
IDK she normally calls me every day, or at least texts, and I tried calling her just now and she didn't answer. Really do hope nothing's happened.
People are so crazy though and I imagine the factory is full of weird equipment. Fuck fuck fuck
At the same time I'm thinking maybe she lost/broke her phone? It was old as fuck
Can you call the factory? Do you guys live close to each other?
>>57980>so much quarantine weight
Me too anon.. me too. I look so doughy and stubby.>>57997
Update us when you can anon. I have been watching too much Dateline and I am paranoid for you.
>>56528>People seriously have some delusional beliefs about STEM degrees>tfw math major >graduated 5 months ago>$30k in debt>working $13/hr as a shitty math tutor>applying to jobs, nothing's biting>tfw i realize i worked my ass off for nothing
i wish i stayed in com sci
Kek, that would do it.
It really has only two problems, her face is pancake flat, but she's Japanese maybe so that's okay, and her back has been severed in half by her rotation of her upper body. Other than that it's okay I guess.
I don't even know the name of the factory. And we don't live close to one another – I'm not totally broke, at least, so I can afford a Uber to her place (sometime this Saturday? I'm thinking I should give her time to get in touch with me, IDK).
Was also thinking of doing a welfare check for her though.
Bitch, I was CS and I'm in a similar boat as anon. Also graduated 5-6 months ago.
the perspectives are entirely different from her torso and hips/ass. her torso wouldn't be at that angle if her hips were in that position. her torso is also waaaaay too long
how would that do it? it's not like this is common knowledge. it's supposed to be that mathematics majors make bank bc there allegedly aren't enough of them. unless you're in a math major's shoes or read extensively about what they're going thru recently idk how "that would do it". it's definitely shilled that math majors make near six figures easily, if not six figures
>>58034>it's definitely shilled that math majors make near six figures easily
Kek. In what fucking universe is that even slightly true? Not once in my entire life have I ever heard that. The only thing people say about math majors is that they're snobby cunts who land mediocre teaching jobs. Engineering majors are the ones that get shilled 24/6 not fucking math majors.
Just a degree in CS isn't enough. You have to have the skills companies are actually looking for.
no anon, it's definitely said that they make good money. engineering has been shilled to death and beyond, absolutely, but math as a major is said to be lucrative.
validation is what keeps me motivated like anyone else, it's unrealistic to say that people change without seeking validation. but I don't think that I'm exploiting myself, I feel that it's the otherway around.
I know they don't care but being aware that someone is gonna look at me motivates me to have more self-control, I used to do it for the validation only and when I fell down the radfem rabbithole I quit and the state of my body has been going downhill since, I gained so much weight because I didn't have anything to worry about other than food, my orbiters kept me in line in a way, to have someone that I can impress with my achievements and/or my toned skinny body and pretend that it comes effortlessly to me because it did feel effortless felt so great I didn't even consider binging and when I did feel like binging I'd just send a selfie and get a few compliments and forget about food.
it's true that I was miserable and now I'm way happier but my body isn't recognisable anymore, I'm fat all over, I never in my life had fat arms and now my arms are chunky, I've been trying for months working out, fasting, dieting, but I always give up because I have nothing to motivate me or worry how I'm being perceived. the longest workout streak I had was when I was updating a dude in my DMs about it and when I stopped talking to him I stopped working out.
It's a me problem and I'm aware of how pathetic that is but I can't see any other way.
I probably need a personal trainer but I'm broke, I don't have friends to update to and impress so orbiter wankers are the next best thing I can think of.
Why don't universities teach those skills?
prefacing this by saying my bf has always (since ive known him for most of our lives) had a preference for older/taller women. our coworker, a girl who hasn't graduated high school yet, keeps hitting him up, and he keeps responding, and they have back-and-forth conversations until 3am. from what i've read (which was just skimming) it's platonic, but it's really fucking weird to me since my bf doesn't even talk to me that much, and we're on great terms. i asked him to stop talking to her, because dude what do you have in common with a teenage girl, and i told him it made me uncomfortable, but he kept doing it anyway. she's our coworker so there's socially no avoiding her really, and he manages where we work. i just have a really weird gut feeling. who tf just texts their manager until 3am?? they just talked about anime and shit but i hate it so much. he was even asking if she made any art, he never asks to see my art (we live together so maybe he sees sketchbooks laying around, but still)
>>58051>i asked him to stop talking to her, and i told him it made me uncomfortable
Did you tell him why? It sounds like the issue is more that he doesn't talk to you enough, rather than talking to others too much.
You say you're on great terms, but>they have back-and-forth conversations until 3am, my bf doesn't even talk to me that much>they just talked about anime and shit but i hate it so much>he never asks to see my art
It sounds like you want a level of attention from him that you're not receiving, and I don't think this coworker is the root cause unless he suddenly started paying much less attention to you when he met her. It's possible that your relationship was never as good as you thought it was, but you never realized it until you had something to compare it to.
I think you should talk to him about it and explain why
it makes you uncomfortable, and that the amount of time he's spending interacting with this person has made you feel neglected. I don't think you should demand that he stop talking to her altogether, because if he really is just friends with her it's likely that he'll resent that a lot. Instead, try to get him to spend more time with you.
Why spend all that money to go to a university if not to secure a job with it? Your argument about why it doesn't work makes sense, but then if not for falling for the "you need college to get a good job" meme, why would anyone bother going?
>>58058>Your argument about why it doesn't work makes sense, but then if not for falling for the "you need college to get a good job" meme, why would anyone bother going?
For the groups of people who go to college not because they think just getting the degree is the point fall into two groups.
1. Autists who want to do research.
2. People who are looking to network with intelligent people in general.
The first group is the closest element of a trade school a university resembles, if there were a trade a university teaches, it's how to be a researcher. Inside the education system, this is not well paid compared to outside it. Only lovers of knowledge go this route, or social autists who just want to stare at bugs all day.
2. Is what the upper class and anyone who actually understands what college is about outside of research is: building a network of people you can collaborate with and work with concerning future endeavors. The college system is, by it's nature, discriminatory and weeds out lower IQ individuals, higher IQ individuals, on average, are better to start businesses with. In addition, upper class and other affluent people are also likely to go to college as well, being a good source of funding if you want to get shit off the ground.
College however, does not teach you how to be a good little cog in someone else's great big machine. At best, getting the shiny piece of paper the university presents you tells the business "this person can be taught how to do their job" and then they teach you how to do your damn job. The piece of paper only tells the business "this person can be taught" and nothing more.
I feel like that's the anon that sperged out hard last thread (?) over someone venting about her tough degree that she was pursuing for the sake of an eventual job.
Probably some ass-blasted NEET that thinks they know it all despite never leaving their room
I feel you. I majored in math with a CS minor and had no success with finding a job even vaguely math related. I decided to just do software instead and it's very nice.
I spent my whole life trying to be a Stacy is mask my issues only to accept I'm on the spectum. I don't know what to do … Pretend to be normal or be like "hey everyone, I'm autistic! Accept me "
Just vibe and the rest will follow
I've been spending all morning trying to calibrate my 3d printer so that I can print a headphone adjustment. My headphones do not have enough tension, and have been sagging and pulling on my hair. My scalp is tender, and I fear traction alopecia being a very real possibility.
But my motherfucking 3d printer is having adhesion and extrusion issues and I don't know why.
Why can't things just fucking work.
I get that this is a total non-issue but FUCK I am just angery.
Ok and thanks. I just hope I can love fashion, travel, and make-up, even if I'm not neurotypical.
Gossip is boring and vapid, so is mind games.
I accidentally stepped in an anthill
I'm sorry I've been a horrid and avoidant daughter since april. I miss spending time with you, and your Markku, and my Max, all four of us laughing and happy even when I'm there to help with yard or house work, or even if we got disagreements here and there. I just sometime get so scared when I get neurotic about this shitty pandemic and the idea that you and your beloved would get covid makes me sometimes just cry or dry heave because it could be a death sentence for both of you. I don't know what I would do if I or Max infected you, and I know that even when we're all vaccinated it's still not 100% guaranteed you two wouldn't get infected. I sometimes also wail because I get this shitty anxious feel that you or Markku are going to die soon. I get paralyzed with everything, and all I can do is keep going and not stop to feel because otherwise I will just be a mess.
Thank you so much for being so kind on the phone. I wept about it at work so many times. I'm crying about it right now in the middle of the night. Mom, I love you so much, and I'm so happy you have someone so wonderful to live with during this pandemic. This won't last forever, but it's not just yet safe enough. When this all ends, we'll make up some of the lost time.
I can’t say hello to you anymore without feeling triggered. Everything you say and do reminds me of something bad and just being in your company for a few minutes fills me with feelings of unease and despair. I used to love you as a person but hated the things and people you liked. Now I realize you are all those things and people. I can’t separate them from you anymore. They’re you.
At least he’s honest
I was a shutin from age 17 to 27 (partly because of chronic illness, partly due to depression, partly due to being unable to overcome childhood trauma and being terrified of people)
It’s only now at 28 that I’m finally starting to feel like I can face the world. But it’s also an incredibly bitter pill to swallow, realizing that you wasted 10 of your ‘prime years’ stuck indoors on the pc and in bed sleeping. I’m mentally stunted, have no real irl experience of relationships or work, and still feel like a 17 year old, but I’m almost 30. It’s very strange.
>why the fuck it's the education systems job to teach you every facet of being a human being
Because at least basic education like high school is borderline compulsory, even if its quality is mediocre.
If the school system doesn't teach such skills at all, then you run into situations where a person's parents don't teach them either and then they end up being an adult who doesn't know how to do anything.
>>58071>But my motherfucking 3d printer is having adhesion and extrusion issues and I don't know why
4chan's /diy/ board has a 3D printing general, which was helpful to me when I was learning about my 3D printer.
In my experience, any time I had adhesion issues it was because either my glass bed wasn't sufficiently clean, or I wasn't printing at a high enough temperature.
I don't see how one could ever want to or try to make the argument that high schools shouldn't teach practical, necessary information considering there are so many kids with parents who either don't know these things themselves, or don't have the resources to teach their kids. Poor kids or kids with parents who don't have the ability to teach them, or the knowledge themselves, can just get fucked, I guess. Great message from that anon, there.
Of course you can. You don’t need to slap a stupid label on yourself. Enjoy whatever the fuck you like.
From your post I gather you know what’s up already but you’re just looking for someone to confirm it. Trust your instinct. Moids are awful opportunists and no you are not crazy for being suspicious that your bf texting a barely legal girl well into the wee hours is sus as hell. Btw, just because men have a preference for older or taller women, doesn’t mean it’s exclusive. Lots of pedos are attracted to adult women too. Don’t go by what moids say, go by their actions. And so far his actions are saying he’s a shady fucker.
It makes me really uncomfortable when people who I thought were friends try to race bait me when I try to share or show them something that I also grew up with. Fucking sorry my skin color isn't the right one.
I keep fucking up my relationship.
Been together… almost 7 years? And he's amazing, but I'm not.
A huge argument today brought up the realization that I have nothing to be proud of. All of my interests are fake, just BPD masking shit. I haven't achieved anything despite decent potential, because I decided to do le meme Social Studies degree rather than chemistry (which I was okay at, but took effort). Barely finished my degree because I realised it's just shitty ass lefty jackoff shit like ''hurrrrr actually THIS GROUP is more oppressed, signed by Me, a White Feminist" and I just lost all interest.
I'm so lucky this dude even looks at me honestly.
To add to this, he still LOVES ME even though I am such a whiney baby about how "ohhhh my mum wouldn't let me get diagnosed with autism so now I'm crying because I don't understand social interactions"
for extra retard points I am an ESL teacher. how the fuck anyone employed me is fuckin ANYONES guess bros
babe look at international schools
i mean it kinda sucks if you have serious ties to your location, but the market got SHOT due to COVID so you've got a good chance. lots of opportunities to live like a Queen in some cheap ass tropical country. third world LOVES hiring women and women in maths is basically the unicorn
A lot just comes down to numbers/luck. You can only choose to specialize in so much. The job I got had nothing to do with my side projects and electives in college, I just applied when they needed people for an internship and they offered full-time afterwards.
Thing is a lot of the time if you go to a third world country you have 180 IQ Asians, Indians and autistic Tesla tier Eastern Europeans to compete with. They’re all trying to get to the west because there is actually less competition for female stem jobs here.
I did it. I drove to Wal-Mart by myself.
I wish I could drive. I hate walking and taking public transport.
>>58145>I wish I could drive.
Same but at the same time I don't. I have a fear of driving and I'm 20…
I'm only doing it to get back at them.
You didn't see that.
I accidentally scraped these people’s car in a parking lot. I want to cry. This hasn’t ever happened before and I’m scared,
Do this kek.
But it should be fine, anon. They're not going to kill you. knock on wood.
The correct thing to do is to leave your contact information and work out how to proceed with them afterwards, either by filing with insurance or just reimbursing them for the damage directly in the form of paying a repair shop to fix it. If they're reasonable people, they won't really care what happens as long as it gets repaired.
I backed into someone else's car in a parking lot that was 99% empty a couple years ago because I was being an idiot and assumed it was 100% empty and didn't look where I was going, and I just ended up having to pay a few hundred dollars to have the dent fixed at a local repair place.
The fact that I had a reaction like this, where I cried all the way home to the point of almost pulling over, makes me feel like I will never be able to be a functional, successful adult.
You need to contact them (or if you can't) report yourself to the police as this is a hit and run.
I was crying in a changing room at a thrift store because the other that looked pretty and comfy were actually completely unflattering and too boxy for me, and then there were clothes that made me look pretty but it was way too tight and it showed off all of my curves. I don't want to be stared at , I just want to find clothes that I will feel pretty and comfortable in. Tommorow I am going to try going to different thirst stores early in the AM before the rich normies wake up and hopefully then I can find something better…
I accidentally did that a few years ago during my first day in the college parking lot. Broke down, drove halfway home, guilted myself into going back and leaving a note. Person didn't care and never called me, damage was very minimal. Luckily haven't done anything that stupid since. Best idea to leave a note, see if they contact, then if they do, give them your insurance info
ANON, I exchanged info with them before I left. It wasn’t a hit and run!>>58170
I’m glad nothing happened anon. It feels so shitty inconveniencing people.
Just wish I could be in a relationship with a man who only gets a boner for me and has sex with me 4-6 times a day. I honestly cry thinking about it. My bf is okay, does 2x a day (but sometimes only 1x) and occasionally gets a boner from someone else. It's really like the bare minimum if that. But it's all I'm going to get. Men are never as horny or loyal as they claim.
Ehhh, I think they're definitely as horny as they claim. I've dated multiple guys that wanted to fuck 4-8 times a day. Loyal is a different story.
>>58172>has sex with me 4-6 times a day
That seems like an awful lot of time out of every day, though.
It's too late to try new things, let alone actually change things. I should have my life together rn but I don't and there's a point where you draw the line and the future depends on what you have done until now. I feel like shit.
i just want to move on from being hopeful that my ex will change. its only been 3 weeks since i moved out and we ended things but im struggling to focus on myself again (i was doing good for a bit) i just want to be successful and worthy. i hope he gets better but will most likely just fail like he deserves
An old acquaintance wants to reconnect suddenly and I'm not sure what to do. I always complain that I don't have friends but this girl is a bit…overbearing. We used to hang out more than 10 years ago because of a mutual hobby and gradually lost contact, she was nice and all but we don't have all that much in common anymore. Last time she wanted to reconnect she ended up blowing up my phone too many times. Maybe I'm the one in the wrong and I don't want to be rude, but I need a lot of space and don't feel comfortable when my attention is required so often.