I poured myself a cup of tea half an hour ago and set it aside to cool a bit but I completely forgot about it and now it's room temperature. I can't do anything right.
woke up this morning to 0 text messages. this pretty normal. but i knew i was going to have a shit day when my phone buzzed and i got excited thinking it was a notif, but it was just my weekly screen time report
i wish i could find a gf to cutely bully me and treat me nicely and love me and we could share our cute hobbies and interests and dress up together and make music
but ive never been with a girl
My boyfriend waited until AFTER rent and bills are due to tell me that they were going to be late AGAIN. Fuck this fucking shit life bros. Yet his parents think I'm the fucking problem. He would never survive regular life without all of the help he gets. I feel like I am being dragged down and held back by him.
"But you're in charge of your life waah. It's up to you to change the trajectory and not let others affect your daily life waaahhhh" Okay fucking millionaire? Middle-class raised chicken-legged ketchup steak summer vacation parent-having piece of shit. If I fuck up I'm closer to homelessness you ignorant hocky puck. Fuck.
I mourn the person I could have been. I was a clever child and bursting with enthusiasm. Depression killed that girl. I don't even know where I came from because theres no way she grew up to be me
my family was the downfall of me. i hate have been a victim.
I even look back on when I was a teenager and how much more impressive my writing and art and creative output was back then. I'm like a hollow shell of my old self now, approaching my mid twenties, close to graduating with a two year degree but no cigar. I fucking hate this shit and what I've become
Even in 2019 pre quarantine I had a drive to do things, now I half ass everything. not to sound cliche or whiny or like I'm the only one that matters, but isolation fucking murdered my psyche and now all I want to do is manifest my demise and die
my bf nearly choked me out this morning during an argument, he grabbed my neck and pushed me until i was half-off the bed we were on. i didn't feel threatened maybe because i am stupid but he grabbed my throat really hard and bruised it. i also later dislocated my thumb bending it backwards while dissociating and immediately pushed it back into place. it was backwards all the way to my wrist and the crack was so loud if snapped me out of my stupid and now horribly bruised and weak but somehow doesnt seem to need a doctor. been hallucinating, the world always feels like an ocean, i get terrified sometimes. i'd choke me too if i could do it that effectively. i wish i could love correctly, myself or others. i only seem to love dogs and tiny kids and texmex.
i meant to say stupor not stupid but i was also stupid i dont think intelligent people break their thumbs so casually except for that one weird girl in my junior english class who had a bone disorder
first of all, you need to leave him. you need to develop some sense of self-preservation, and quickly. this is not okay but you also you don't sound like you're in good state of mind to even properly assess environmental threats, probably because you're actively undergoing abuse. second, don't do that with your thumb anymore.
Contact someone you trust and make a plan to leave now, strangulation is a known predicting factor for (attempted) murder for women, your life may be at risk.
My boyfriend doesn’t love me how I want him to. He doesn’t understand me at all even though he thinks he does, it’s infuriating. He thinks I’m the one for him but I’m going insane pretending to be his perfect girl. I would keep it up forever if only he would love me properly.
Then he’s wrong for you. So many people get stuck in miserable relationships with a person who doesn’t speak the same love language as them and it never changes. It’s not too much to ask for someone to love you in a way that makes you feel loved. It should be one of the non negotiable of a relationship. Someone else out there will love you the way you want to be loved. Start thinking seriously about finding a new bf.
>>58250>So many people get stuck in miserable relationships with a person who doesn’t speak the same love language as them and it never changes.
If you actually read the book on love languages you'd know this statement is retarded. The entire point of the book is to help guide people into realizing what their love language is so they can convey to their partner how they want to be shown love. You could argue that then the problem becomes the other person refusing to change how they express love towards you, but at that point that's not a love language problem, that's the other person being an asshole problem.
What's retarded is the idea that people should change the love language that is natural to them, when the other person should understand and accept it instead. Or break up.
People don’t change, someone who needs physical affection and words of affirmation is never going to be happy with someone whose style of showing affection is doing the dishes. Someone whose style of affection is giving someone a necklace or some soap is going to feel forced and resentful at having to change their style of affection too and in the end it will just feel fake and strange to them. You cannot ask someone to change their needs and personality to suit yours and vice versa without it feeling forced and strange to the other person. You’re just fucking incompatible. Accept it and find someone else you’re actually compatible with.
2 Fast 2 Furious.g…
Going to stop talking about m*n unless it's absolutely necessary.
You people are retarded narcissists, you can express love differently than you feel love you damn twat. You tell your bf "hey I really like it when you spend time with me, not when you spend money on gifts", not "hey, I know you like getting gifts, but I need you to now enjoy me spending time with you or this relationship is over." Unless you're a literal retard, you should be able to manage to understand the nuance.
You're both fucking stupid.
t. Married with someone who prefers spending quality time while I prefer to receive physical affection
I'm way too old to not have a driver's license yet and I'm ashamed of it. Problem is that I have a job and no time to go to lessons when the drivers schools are open.
You need to leave. Chocking is the second highest predictor of domestic violence related death, second only to owning guns. It's not a slap in the wrist, it is attempted murder, even if he didn't mean it that way. You need to leave now.
I am so so tired of being long distance and only getting to see him every so often. I know we aren't in a place to move in just yet but I feel sometimes like I am the only one Yearning(tm) to see him more often and to be closer to him/who has any interest in taking the next step in moving in together. Maybe next year.
You don’t sound like a person who would be quality time to spend with :)
Oh come on, driving schools are open on weekends.
Do you have friends or family who can help teach you?
And what if I don't want to change my love language?
My ex boyfriend is a true narcissist that emotionally and mentally abused me pretty badly. I am still trying to recover 6ish years later because of how deep it was, and because he would not stop harassing me years afterward. Now he acts like the victim and never apologized for everything. I'm almost certain that right now he is trying to find ways to paint me as the abusive one and has been set on ruining my life as much as he can from afar. He has the upper hand, too, unfortunately. He is quite well-known where I live and his family is very well off. It's all just so weird to me. I have only told very few people what he did to me (and not even all of it), so it's not as if I'm out here trying to ruin his reputation. I don't really get it tbh.
Gather screencaps and sent them to police, friends, and post online
I posted this in another thread but today during my period I got severe vertigo and lightheaded and felt like I was gonna pass out. Had to eat crackers and drink tons of water and lay down for a few hours. Does anyone here get severe dizziness or faint during their periods? I’m not anaemic btw. It scares me a lot.
I've debated this, but I feel like I would be drudging up old news for sympathy. Right now he's has relatively left me alone, and it's only effecting me so much in my head. If it mattered enough the friends I confided into would've believed me.
Stop pushing my schedule later aaaaaaaa
The bookstore owner was mean to me and I cried in public.
We got new people at my job recently,and one of the new girls is pretty standoffish
I want to talk to her to make her feel more welcome, but after a week the only thing that I know she likes is western cartoons.
I'm a huge weeb and haven't seen anything western that released within the past like 10 years other than OK KO, which she hasn't seen.
What the fuck do I talk to her about? I can only small talk for so long before I run out of subjects.
I moved to a new town a few days ago and every single time i went outside ive been catcalled, honked at, and harrassed. Literally just went for a walk the other day and a guy kept complimenting my appearance and trailed me until i had to hide out in a church. I thought fine i just wont go outside except for work or if i need to. Nope, first day of work the entire fucking male staff harrasses me like a bunch of fucking hyenas. I just want to be left alone. Not even wearing provocative clothes. Will i have to move? I dont want to be afraid to go outside. Men are fucking pigs and predators.
ps. To the hot chef lady who called me pretty and actually talked to me, you are the only person ill accept a compliment from
Employer wants me to get covid tested for a business seminar thing that starts next week. I really don't want to. I never get out of the house except to take walks alone in isolated nature. I'm not sick either.
It's especially dumb since these idiots have been talking for a months about how they're going to go bar crawling every evening of the seminar week. Like don't they realise they are 1000 times more likely to catch it there than getting it from little old me ?
I hate them so much. I hate the social pressure from complete morons, and I hate the lowkey unsaid employment blackmail.
My heart hurts and I want to die
maybe she is just shy? i've had people mistake my shyness as being stuck up before
Anxiety is really bad. I know if I don't quit my job the stress is going to kill me but I don't know what would happen after that. When I feel like this all my suicidal ideation comes back and I just want out
It's just a covid test, anon. It's not like they're asking you to take a vaccine. The covid test is just a quick nasal swab. you'll be in and out in like 15 minutes, excluding the waiting room stuff.
There is liability that comes with a huge fine if an employeer willingly lets covid spread in their business.
When they get audited, a "my employee didnt want to take the test and said she was healthy, so we don't have the paperwork to prove that she's covid free" wouldn't be a good excuse.
Don't take their request as an accusation that you have it. Doesn't matter if you don't go outside or are less likely to have it than your coworkers. it's a paper trail so your employeer's ass is covered.
Just think about how'd you feel if one of your other coworkers who barhops didnt want to take a quick test because "i'm fine bro, trust me" and then spread it to you or your loved ones.
exactly, and your "i don't go out!" thing is no replacement for a proper test. plenty of people are just complete liars. i think it's more respectable and responsible for employers to require testing regardless, even if it is a little annoying
I'm not sure if I understand correctly, but what do you mean You don't know what will happen after you quit your job? I'd imagine you would embrace the NEET life… unless you're smart about it and look for work or education before you leave. Make an exit plan, it may eliminate some of that anxiety and by extension your suicidal thoughts.
Your health comes before anything else. You can't do well at work if you're not doing well in your own life.
If you wake up every day with suicidal ideation because of your job, you should move on from there.
Covid is the perfect time to find a new job. So many positions are open at the moment, don't let this opportunity pass you.
You've already taken the first biggest step to improving your situation, which is realizing that it's shit. The next step is taking the initiative and getting out of that rut.
Good luck, anon.
Doesn’t it make more sense to tell guys you are not a virgin and then the virgin fetishists are instantly turned off? I actually am a virgin but I told my bf I wasn’t because I was embarrassed at still being a virgin in my late twenties. Then when later I told him I actually am a virgin he couldn’t really believe me. It was dumb to lie.
The way things are now I couldn't really embrace the NEET life, I just don't have the money. I guess I have to find something else but it's scary to face a change and potentially end up with something worse. I feel like I'm gonna have a hard time with anything with social interaction or responsibility/expectation.
they hide their actual retarded thoughts to fuck
I don't live in the US, and there is no such fine here. In fact, employers cannot force employees to get tested.
The thing that pisses me off isn't the test itself (though I maintain it is beyond useless if they all go barhopping for a week straight…), but the fact that they dropped this on me yesterday out of nowhere when the seminar thing had been planned for months. It's a pain to get a slot to get tested here, and I have no idea if I'll be able to get one in time. So it's just more stress and anxiety on my plate because they are being inconsiderate idiots. Again.
Ask her to recommend you something, watch it and then talk to her about it.
I'm going to lose my fucking mind if I have to keep seeing and hearing about how I should donate to save Palestinians this stand by Palestine that for much longer. Why do I have to be made to give a shit about a nation that raises men who wouldn't think two seconds about violently raping me. To be fucking honest I kind of don't care too much about the women either. They're perfectly compliant to the gross shit husbands and brothers and fathers perpetuate and they're ready to get their daughters' genitals get mutilated. I know they're oppressed as fuck but I still get furious that I'm apparently morally obliged to help shitty culture that would see fit to make me even less than a second-class citizen if they could enforce it.
it's less about palestinians specifically or muslim culture specifically and more about condemning murderous land grabs as an act, regardless of who is on the receiving end of it? hello…?
Okay, I didn't consider this was a point. Thank you anon, I mean it.
That's kind of stupid, as the Palestinians only had the land from ages old violent land grans too. This sounds like a meme pushed to keep the current world order engraved forever as opposed to let natural patterns proceed.
Ancient Jews took the land from Canaanites and other pagan tribes and declared it their own, whose modern day ancestors are the people of Palestine, Lebanon, Jordan, Syria etc. So technically yeah Muslims have more ancestral ties to that land than Jews do.
Has anyone else completely resigned themselves to being alone because they can’t be perfect? I sabotaged my relationship with an amazing man because I kept thinking who cares, he can replace me in a minute with a better girl anyway. If my face or body or personality can’t be exactly the way I want it to be, or I feel like someone doesn’t have the exact impression of me I want, I just self sabotage and isolate myself from people. And then of course, I wallow in depression and self pity. Ive ruined many otherwise good connections by doing this and I want to stop but can’t.
Glad someone else understands. It’s a form of self harm in a way. I don’t feel like I deserve love if I can’t be perfect.
My friends were acting weird -in a passive aggressive way or ignoring me- for months (almost a year now) and it made me fed up with having social connections. I hate them so much but it makes me sad to not do fun things with them. The annoying part is I don't know if I did something wrong AND now they're acting more normal out of the blue???
They most likely have a group chat without you. I would drop them. It's better to be alone than with fake company.
than be with fake company.*
I just got stoned walled in another thread (not here) I just ranted about something that really happened to me, only to have a fucking incel throw it back in my face. I always assumed it was an exaggeration but there are psychopaths on 4chan who enjoy woman suffering. Anyways, T'm done with that swamp and men in general. I know not all men share those traits, but I can't take that chance. I had my accounts hacked into, my porch vandalized, my privacy invaded and my freedoms stolen. I'm done with men … never again. But I'm open to women.
>>58450>I had my accounts hacked into, my porch vandalized, my privacy invaded and my freedoms stolen
Geez Louise anon. Storytime?
Why would such a large group of people be that cruel though? Like, what could I have possibly done to deserve that?
People are cruel. Maybe they didn't like you over a comment or a tone you used, or something super petty you don't or never will know. But just know, sometimes people are just plain bitches.
None of it is your fault. They're just shitty people. But if you feel like it'll help you then you could ask one of them in private what their deal is. That's only if you want to.
Not much to tell really. My idiot, meathead neighbor and his friends tried to hack into my sm accounts. They were bragging about it while I had my window open. (Because they're kinda dumb) This same neighbor threw a chair at my door and called me a "crazy witch." (OBV. I didn't open the door to confront him) I had to even bring his garbage bin in because it was on my driveway and I didn't want to be blamed for it by the tenants. When I did, he had this smug smirk when he thanked me. I said nothing and went inside. Another guy friend I friend zone started stalking around my house so I had legal advice about the issue. I complained on 4chan ( this was before I discovered crystal cafe) only to earn mockery and larping. Today was the last draw. I got into a confrontation with a incel and walked away. My heart was racing and I trembled from anger. There is something wrong with incels and stalkers. They're broken. I can't trust men anymore, not after all this. But I don't hate them either.
I know, I wanted to see the good in everyone. Heck, I even worked as a caregiver. But since this bastard moved in on top of my friend harassing me, I know different. Ah, so /adv/ was always bad. I just assumed it worsened with the mutilation posts. A few fananons left recently. Can't say I blame them. But thank you for your feedback and reading.
i'm sorry to hear all of that. it's not surprising. you cannot, basically ever, go to men for sympathy. that's why the /r/relationship threads are also maelstroms of nastiness, because they're so occupied by men who blame the woman for everything. i used to post threads in /adv/ when it was first opened and i used to get soooo much shit for telling them porn is damaging to women and relationships, on top of being abusive/rape on tape. they just told me i was a crazy bitch that'll be alone forever on repeat, and that "we don't self insert!!! you're just insecure!!" lmao.
it's not just incels and stalkers and 4chan though. remember that australian comedian that was raped and murdered and her family and grave was harassed and vandalized for no reason at all other than women are hated? people in real life actually went out and repeatedly vandalized this poor girl's grave. it's just sick. they're unfeeling and unhuman.
I know, I wanted to see the good in everyone. Heck, I even worked as a caregiver. But since this bastard moved in on top of my friend harassing me, I know different. Ah, so /adv/ was always bad. I just assumed it worsened with the mutilation posts. A few fananons left recently. Can't say I blame them. But thank you for your feedback and reading.
have you considered moving? you're renting? when does your lease expire?
I'm renting but I certainly have ;)(don't use emotes)
yeah def get out. you can always sublease if you want to gtfo sooner
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I picked up a few things from legal advice. Wear a hat and glasses in the daytime. Keep your doors locked and curtains drawn in the nighttime. Don't make eye contact with men and keep conversations brief. Also carry a keychain alarm and pepper spray. Always be in a hurry and have an escape plan for a bad situation.
No offense or anything, but how do you get stonewalled on an anonymous board where people aren't oblugated to answer you?
>>58461>porn is damaging to women and relationships, on top of being abusive/rape on tape
Is it bad if I enjoy porn?
I keep getting dark facial hair growing all over. I've been going to an electrolysist for a while now but it keeps seeming to come back. Maybe it will work if I keep up the treatments but it's really annoying. I have 4 dark whiskers on my chin, about 8 in between my eyebrows, and more above/below eyebrows and a few on my upper lip right now. And i have to walk around like this until the appointment. I'm calendar watching anxiously. It's driving me absolutely insane. I can get through if I think, "after this I'll never deal with this problem again," but she's worked on my face for like 6 sessions now and it keeps growing back. I can't even get started on my bodyhair because every time I think, "yes, face is finished, now the rest," the facial hair grows back. I feel like a disgusting hairy monster. I feel so gross it's difficult to even masturbate right now.
I mean everybody has looked at it but it is sketchy. Thankfully now we have hentai and source filmmaker
I think it more depends the the genre.
I own firearms and have never abused my moid. My guns are cute and so am I. (But yes, if a moid tries to choke you out, you need to pack your shit and leave after he falls asleep.)>>58396
my codependent mother is slowly whittling away my mental health but i feel guilty about considering moving away and going low contact as she's got essentially my entire family convinced im fucking bonkers. i dont want to be her best friend. i dont want to be her confidant. im tired of hearing the same lines over and over again (ex "i was a teen mother…" its been twenty three fucking years) so i can be forced to feel bad for her. i am tired of not being allowed to be sad/angry because that somehow means i hate her and i think shes a shit mother. my brain feels like scrambled eggs every time she does this stuff. im living with a permanent victim who cant comprehend me as anything other than an extension of her (she literally said "you're my external heartbeat"). i cant even talk to family because she runs the same game on them. to everyone im the ungrateful bastard daughter and she's the saintly sacrificial mother, even though she's ADMITTED to using me for emotional support. i dont want to live this way anymore. god fucking damn im exhausted beyond measure
Sounds like she needs friends or a therapist to vent to instead of you
I looked into it and it seems that owning firearms is a strong predictor for an already-abused woman to end up getting killed, but not for death by domestic abuse in general.
I have npc syndrome. I don't enjoy anything, basically. I feel like my life is a script I'm just reading through. I don't have any friends. I will likely live with my boyfriend and his extremely generic family. it's weird. he cares about living and the things he does. I can't relate at all. I feel like I'm secondary to him and it's not his fault. I do have hobbies and I create things but none of it brings me pleasure or anticipation. It's all generic, the things I create, too. It feels like I'm just executing some mindless code when I draw. Everything looks too simplistic and rigid that I create. I smoke and think, that's the only pleasure, albeit not a large one, I feel, as well as sex. But I've accepted I will never find a man who wants to have sex as much as I want.
I want to not smoke, though, and I wish I didn't get pleasure out of sex because it requires another person. I don't enjoy masturbation even though I cum. I wish I could be self-sufficiently happy, as all I do is like a larp of that.
Today I talked to my long term bf about the idea of getting married and having kids. He mentioned how he wants to get married and have kids one day. I told him I’m not getting any younger and would like to start planning a family within a year or two. He told me he won’t be ready to get married or have kids for another 10 years or so and wants to focus on his career. When I asked him if that’s his way of saying he’s not interested in having marrying me or having kids with me, he just went very quiet. I got the hint and realized he means he’s planning on marrying another woman after me. I’ve been really upset all day, crying and feel resentful at having my time wasted like this. Now I feel like there’s no future for us and I have to start looking for another boyfriend. But that means having to throw away 4 years of a relationship with a man I thought was more serious about me.
You sound exactly like me. I feel like I’m just going through the motions a lot of the time and have anhedonia towards most things. Could it just be depression?
I remember a few years ago realizing how boring and monotonous adult life is for most people and it was depressing. They just work jobs they hate, get married, have kids and cohabit together in a pretty boring passionless relationship. When I was a kid I thought it would be way more exciting.
My anxiety just keeps getting worse. My head feels like it’s going to explode. I feel like crying every second.
Just leave, dude. Her problems do not need to be your problems.
That's an awful feel. I'm sorry anon. Leave. You'll be sad for a week but then happy as hell you left.
Moids have this conception that they can fuck around until they're 40 and then suddenly find a 20 year old girl to marry and have kids with. It's really disgusting. No woman wants to marry a man that much older than her, and even if they did, the guy would be too old to enjoy having kids, and the kids would be poorly served by having an elderly father, who would then pop off and die 20 years earlier than the fathers of their friends. There's something wrong with men. I really just hate them so much sometimes.
I'm dating a guy 4 years younger than me. Older men are the worst, they just want to control you and boss you around and lecture you on things. Any man who wants a significantly younger woman is nothing but an abuser. Men are the ones who hit the fucking wall after spending 15 years doing nothing but masturbating to disgusting, violent, degenerate pornography and staying up to 2am playing video games. That's why they're all balding and fat now. Men shouldn't be left to their own devices, because they can't take care of themselves or make good decisions, they just deathgrip their cock and lurk on discord and twitch all night until they wake up at age 40 with heart disease, pre-diabetes, more hair on their pillowcase than on their head, and a microdick from growing out their beergut. Men are nothing but trash.
About a month ago a girl and I had a strong mutual interest in each other which lead to cuddling, calling each other pet names, having some of the best and most meaningful conversations ever, etc. but after talking to her friends she wanted us to quit what we were doing because she felt our age difference (18-26) was too large and introduced an unintentionally power-imbalance between us.
And while I agreed with her I then decided to bottle up my feelings to focus on a difficult period in my life and now all this heartbreak is hitting me at once and I just feel so lonely and unloveable with tons of self-esteem issues like I did before I met her.
She did say we'd stay friends but she hasn't really stayed in touch despite me reaching out to her which hurts me quite a bit even though I know she is very busy.
I'm gonna honor her wish to never lose that optimism that she loved about me though even if it's tough right now!
I hate how men think they have an unlimited time to fuck around and can out off marriage and kids until their late 40s and 50s.
Studies have shown that the DNA in male sperm starts degrading steeply after 35 and that men over 40 have a 1 in 8 chance of having a child with autism, even if the mom is young. Older fathers also put young mothers at risk for more pregnancy, fetal and labor complications, and the chances of a child with schizophrenia also rise sharply with sperm from men over 35.
Are you the 18 or the 26 y/o?
Whenever I feel anxious or upset, I get intense stomach aches. It's a huge pain in the ass
Moids trip over themselves to post photos of empty egg cartons but then pull this shit where they're shooting gimpy 50 year old swimmers and breeding up potatoes. Maybe both genders should grow the fuck up and acknowledge that they need to learn how to commit to a relationship in their late teens and early 20s so they can be settled and pumping out babies by 24 instead of 44. But historically moids have always done this kind of bullshit. 50 year old men trying to marry women young enough to be their granddaughters is just absoulutely disgusting. If I saw a man trying that I would slit his throat.
Well that’s the funny thing. The studies showed the mutations in older sperm still affect the mothers offspring, even if she is 18 years old. So all those old moids can careermaxx or whatever other cope and knock up their Slavic teen sugarbabies all they want but they’re still having schizo future mass shooter incel kids whether they like it or not.
Yep. Unfortunately moids only think with emotion, and by emotion I mean their penis, and are incapable of grasping logic and data driven science.
My boyfriend just made a big deal about me going out to celebrate one of my male friend's birthday this weekend 1 on 1, and anyways we can only be 2 people at a table… My boyfriend says its basically like a date. Ive known this friend for over 4 years and I barely ever hungout with him. Sometimes he acts overly nice which can lead me to thinking hes flirting and stuff, but I always ignored the comments and frankly we're just friends, he knows I have a boyfriend and I always talk to him about them. Hes also on the spectrum so when he does something weird I just shrug it off because hes awkward in that way sometimes. He's genuinely a good friend of mine that just gets lonely at times (he gets rejected by his friend group a lot because he's socially awkward) and I know he means no harm he just has difficulty with how to act with girls. I got upset at my boyfriend but went and canceled the plans with my friend. Am I really in the wrong? My boyfriend even went to say that he would've been okay with it if my friend asked them for permission to go on a night out with me… I don't know who's in the wrong.
Kinda offtopic, but my parents were in their early 40s when they had me. I'm just happy I don't have autism or some genetic condition.
Having friends is good. But your boyfriend isn’t wrong.
But don’t limit yourself. A person you’re with must stimulate the greatest growth.
I think the answer of this depends on the relationship. Don’t limit yourself but know you won’t be growing with your boyfriend if you continue this behaviour. If he doesn’t like how it feels that’s right of him not wrong.
What matters is how you feel.
Honestly if I was the guy and I felt you were going a date with someone else and that you chose this desire over me/my desires.
Then I’d rightfully consider ending the relationship. For the best of us both.
I just sent a message for my ex e-boyfriend from a random website I found his account by searching his real name because I still feel like shit.
I was only 12, so I don't think it really counts as a relationship, but still, I was such a piece of shit. I was depressed and used him for attention, and on top of all that, I kind of spread that he had a weird dick. (phimosis) Even worst, this became a inside joke in his friend circle, so I'm sure he didn't forget about that. Am I retarded?
He definitely should not reply to you lmao
>>58584>Sometimes he acts overly nice which can lead me to thinking hes flirting and stuff, but I always ignored the comments and frankly we're just friends
i can see where your boyfriend might be upset.
How did you find out he had phimosis
My sleep schedule is completely fucked up and I’m awake all night and napping throughout the day. It makes me feel dissociated from reality and like a disgusting lazy slug.
>>58565>men are nothing but trash>I have a boyfriend
Men say horrid shit about women all the time and still date them, why are you surprised at this?
Men are trash. It’s not our fault that we are still biologically attracted to them.
Have you even tried dating a woman?
Why would I if I’m heterosexual?
I mean I find it surprising with men too, but that makes a bit more sense to me since Im assuming its a purely sexual thing. That and I think most men who talk shit about women are just angry cus women dont want them, like a "i actually dont want it anyway" defense mechanism. >>58620
That sounds very weird to me, youre basically saying youre attracted to trash.
Is it just physical attraction and you only want sex? That would make sense I guess, but I dont think Id suffer through a relationship with someone I think of as trash just for sex. If its more about the emotional connection and affection… again why would you want to have that with someone you consider trash?
I assume when people say that, they are speaking generally. As in, most men are trash, but not hers.
But you can choose to not act on that biological attraction.
>>58541>He told me he won’t be ready to get married or have kids for another 10 years or so
How old is he?
I've never understood wanting to wait that long to have children. My ideal age has always been 30 so I could have a good chance of seeing my grandchildren reach adulthood, not just my children.
Also let’s not forget that infamous study about age gap relationships and divorce. Men will complain about getting divorce raped but then they marry a younger woman? Silly moids.
I'm done trying to make friends.
"Don't let a couple experiences ruin how you view it waaahhh" Ok, how about 15 years of repetitive experiences?
"Maybe you're the problem waaahhh" Oh, so I deserved it every time? Okay cool, even more reason to fuck myself off or no?
Well, you are the problem but I'm not saying this in a malicious way. Do you suffer from anxiety/depression?
I know I'm in the part of my cycle where I always get mega depressive because hormones or whatever the hell, but it's really bad this month. I feel like I suck and everyone secretly hates me even though I know that's shitty retarded hormones talking. fuck
I feel like I turn into a demon during PMS. I’m like a completely different person.
this is dumb but i recently left a d&d table i liked but wasn't too interested in, and i just found out that instead of following my wishes and either
a.) killing off my character to maybe provide development for the others
b.) placing them in the background
they're going to pretend that he just never existed. i don't know why this hurts me so much. it's like i genuinely have no desire to return but idk it sucks
If you weren't interested in them, why would they be interested in you? Get over it.
I miss having a best friend.
I feel you anon. While you might not be interested now, you did still invest time and energy into that character and the game. Wiping out your efforts like that can hurt. If it were me, I'd feel like they wanted to erase the good times you guys had together
I don’t have a diagnosis and I feel like such an attention seeker for saying this but I’m pretty sure I struggle with seasonal depression in the summer and it’s killing me. I am well the rest of the year and I have a pretty good life but I feel ready to end it over how I feel right now.
Summer definitely sucks. You don't need to feel like you're attention seeking. You are on an anonymous board after all. I vent here because I don't have anyone I am willing to talk with about this stuff with in the real world. You are probably the same way, you're actually here saying it because of how little attention you seek.
I get horribly depressed during summer. Seeing hot girls dressed in skimpy outfits giggling with their bfs makes me want to kermit.
Was just thinking about a guy I dated when I was young. He was twice my age, married, and in an authority position. Even just that is screwed up enough.
But I realized now how little effort he put into the relationship and that he basically used me for sex only. He had a very well paying job, but aside from taking me to the cheapest, greasiest, places to eat, never took me anywhere that involved spending money. Used to turn up to "dates" wearing old dirty clothes, never gifted me the smallest thing, pressured me to do sexual things I didn't want in locations I didn't want, and constantly, constantly would tell me how stupid and easy I was as a way to lower any feeble resistance I might have put up.
Like my self confidence wasn't low enough already to be dating some disgusting old man who doesn't even bother to tidy up or change his sheets for me. I was young, pretty, and miles out of his league. Yet he had to treat me like trash and make me feel like I was the one unworthy of him and too stupid to function. The few rare, vaguely kind things he did for me were more in his own interest, not mine. He was even selfish in conversation, selfish in bed, and so full of himself, telling me about all the other young women he had done the same to and how we should have a threesome with one, because I wasn't enough alone obviously. There was nothing in it for me.
It's so sad to realize how attention and touch starved I must have been to go through all that, and like it, for almost a year and only stop because I moved away. And then humor his regular harassing messages for another year on top of that.
I got the last laugh though. I had to contact him about something years later, not out of choice. We hadn't been in touch for a while and a sent a formal email requesting something. He sent back the same old, expecting to that we would just pick up where I left before.
Even though I hadn't fully processed what had happened between us, I had this overwhelming wave of revulsion. I saw red and fucking snapped. I immediately deleted that email account and opened another. I took everything, everything and sent it to his employers, about 100 documents, photos, and proof of all other people he had fucked (over). He immediately got fired and has been laying low since.
That was years ago though but I still have a complex about people thinking I'm stupid that I'm trying to work through. And having to accept that, yes, I was that desperate just for the lowest, most worthless, basic acknowledgement that I existed.
>>58716>Seeing hot girls dressed in skimpy outfits giggling with their bfs
It's hard seeing people be happy together like that. It makes me feel like something's wrong with me because I've never been able to connect with others in that way.
My bf dumped me out of the blue. It’s hard because I felt our relationship was actually going really nicely and there were no complaints or real indications. He was always really cheery and bright and put aside time for us, we had some really nice date nights over the past few weeks with lots of cuddling and I love yous and sweet moments. Then last night he called me saying he just doesn’t feel like he wants to be in a relationship anymore. Just like that. I can’t believe it. My mind thinks he must have suddenly met someone else. Crazy how fast people can just drop you like that.
i was going to see my sister tomorrow cuz we havent seen each other since christmas but she changed her mind and decided to hang out with her bf of 1 month instead
that's sad. why don't you tell her how much you miss her?
I recently started trying to talk to guys and find a bf, I’m talking to a couple right now and most of them are already ignoring me a lot or treating me like I’m disposable, or are just overly rude and obnoxious. It’s so depressing. It sounds dumb but I honestly just want a guy who is super kind and attentive towards me and treats me like a princess but I’m not pretty or Stacy enough for men to treat me that way so they just treat me like garbage.
Me in the shades.p…
I did it
I finally did it
I asked my work crush for their number, and he just gave it to me without any questions. He was like "i'm surprised I don't have yours already."
I don't know why I was so hesitant, seeing how painless it was
We're moving closer and closer to the goal of being normie adjacent!!
Now I just need to figure out what to text him
I can't just post memes can I?
Wow must be nice being Stacy. Congrats.
It’s after midnight here, it’s windy and raining here but not too cold, and so pretty and quiet and atmospheric outside. I wish I could go on a night walk around the city but it’s just too unsafe and I don’t wanna get raped or mugged ;_;
If I can do it, anyone can. I'm as socially inept as they come.
It's just a phone number, not like i've actively made any passes at him.
That's a level I won't mentally be prepared for for a long time
My dads had drinking problems for a long time and he's just been going downhill (really really downhill, full on rampage) since this year, he's become extremely agressive and I'm scared for my mom and myself sometimes. Yesterday he forcefully picked me up while he was blackout drunk from my bf's house and its just a really shitty and scary experience. Then he came home and smashed a glass really hard because he got mad. It gets worse everytime and I can't do anything about it because he thinks he's fine and that we believe he's sober. I feel so fucking alone everyone jokes about being an alcoholic and thinks it's nothing serious but it's tearing my family apart, and I have no one to talk to about this because no one understands it. My parents argue on an everyday basis since the day I was born and to this day i start shaking really hard everytime I hear them. I feel so alone I don't want to bother others with my problems but its so fuckijg hard to keep it all in sometimes. I feel like my mental health is god awful right now and theres absolutely nothing i can do because I'm stuck with me family everyday. I can't afford therapy (id love to afford it for both my mom and me) and I'm too young to move out right now… so here i am ranting to strangers :( I love life, my friend, my parents, my boyfriend.. and theres so many things i wish to see, and i know some people have it worse.. but at times like these i wish i was never born
This broke me, anon. You deserve happiness. Posts like this make me feel wretched about how good I have it, yet all I do is be depressed, cut, smoke, and seethe over my perfectly fine boyfriend. I wish I could comfort you and even though I can't say anything to help, I wish I could listen to you so you could soothe yourself with your own words.
two guys ive met recently that im friends with have offered to buy me things just cause. nothing sexual has happened, nobody has been mean or had any bad intentions and i’ve always rejected the offers and never asked for anything. they don’t ask for anything in return with the offer, either. i suppose they just like me (which is really sweet!) and i wish i could accept the gifts but id feel really bad. i just lost a lot of my money and personal items i will never get back so yeah the offer seems nice but i cant bring myself to accept it. just conflicted because itd be nice but id feel too guilty. it doesnt feel fair.
My friend has been asshole ever since I got engaged and I don't want her in my wedding anymore. She thinks that she deserves to get married first because she is prettier than me. As soon as I told her that my boyfriend proposed, she started criticizing my relationship. Then she quickly got herself a new boyfriend in Bumble. Now she keeps telling how they are totally going to get married, despite only knowing each other for a few months. She has been sending me pictures of her boyfriend so I can see how cute he is and now she is sharing posts in Facebook of wedding ideas she wants. I fucking hate her.
I’ve noticed a lot of other women get really jealous and irrationally mad when their friend is getting married. It’s weird.
I know what you mean. It is an alienating feeling just to see people interacting in a natural way, joking around, being open and friendly.
i feel like i will never have a relationship or at least a healthy one because im too insecure. if i talk to a guy i constantly think "ew hes looking at my face right now" "hes seeing my ugly face and ugly body" id be too embarassed and ashamed to have sex. i dont understand how someone could like me or be attracted to me so i dont believe anyone that says they do. if i even get a bf, hes settling for me but he secretly wishes he was with stacy and would leave me for her is he had the chance. ill never be romantically attracted to based on my looks and seeing men compliment their s/o in books and movies hurts because ill never relate. it sucks because im a hopeless romantic but ill probably never get to experience love
I hate most anime and the obsession people have with it as a medium. Hardly worth a ''vent'', but whatever.
I feel like any artistic achievement within the medium always comes to fruition in spite of it being an anime, never because of it (Evangelion, Ghibli movies, etc.); probably 95% of the medium is littered with generic garbage and same-y character tropes meant to cater to manchildren and kids that has terrible pacing and awkward nonstop exposition (show, don't tell ffs) and dialogue dumps and fanservice galore.
I get annoyed by the constant cuteness and perceived attractiveness of the characters that gets not just praised but obsessed over - this goes for fujos but especially and mainly waifushit that men (and even some women) cling to as some kind of coping mechanism.
Even just pertaining to the aesthetic, I absolutely loathe and physically cringe at stuff like Hololive and I've even started getting annoyed by Touhou and the likes after seeing those godawful fumos everywhere.
Even the East Asian media I enjoy consuming is too often riddled with tropes, cliches, and aesthetic influences inspired by anime to their own artistic detriment. Only stuff like old Japanese cinema is tame and has proper artistic merit to it imo.
couple months ago around december met a guy who had like alot of the same interests as me. we then started dating but i broke up with him because i was dumb and not ready. we eventually got back together mid jan and our relationship was pretty good. the start of feb however, i had started to overthink and i thought he liked my bestfriend more than me. i had eventually expressed these opioons to both of them. my bf at the time assured me he liked me more and my bestfriend assured me she doesnt like my bestfriend romantically. then on feb 28, my boyfriend broke up with me then about a week later he told me he was dating my bestfriend and they had been dating for a couple days. basically within a week of breaking up, he went and dated my bestfriend when not a week previous to the breakup, they both had assured me they didnt like each other romantically. they had then dated for like a month and i was stuck helping literaly both of them with their relationship. turns out my bestfriend is sexually manipulative but then my exbf is manipulative so i was stuck choosing who to believe. after they broke up me and my bestfridn had a tough time talking i guess. now a couple days ago my ex told me he wasnt over me :|. we dated then he dumped me, dated my bestfriend and then tells me he isnt over me. what the fuck.
I'm sorry, anon. Your ex is a jerk, don't get back with him. You deserve better than that. You deserve a man who loves you for you, who isn't going to go off with your best friend just because. I think it's a little dirty of your friend, too, I'd be careful around her.
I've asked this moid I'm dating to give a fucking frilly pink cat fetish collar as birthday present.
My friends would tell me to go ahead and have fun as long as it's safe, but I can't help to feel gross doing it. It's weird especially since I couldn't have sex until my early/mid 20s, because of vaginismus, and now, I'm acting like a """kittenplay""" tumblr whore ?
It's really unsettling.
And, of course the scrote buying it.
You sound like a right bundle of joy and very pleasant to be around.
Honestly I used to feel the same as you, when I was finishing my studies, and was caught in the stress of exams and internships. And as a fact, my drawings were actually worse than what I did when I was around 18. So it's not only a feeling, it's real.
However, this will change when you will finish studies and will have more time and mental energy for yourself. End of studies is very stressful, and bad stress blocks your creative abilities.
It's not you being too old, it's you being too stressed out, just like I was. My drawings I considered the best were the ones I've done after finishing studies and applying for jobs.
I'm sure things will get better for you too anon, and you will develop your hobbies even further. It's a matter of time.
I'm worried i'm gonna drive him away. i fear his rejection, but i think fantasizing about what could possibly be between us is making me manic and inhibiting my ability to act normal around him at all.
this is messed up. i'm holding back having a serious conversation with him about our relationship because i fear he doesnt care as much as me.
It's your fault for asking for it. It's disgusting you are blaming the scrote in this instance.
I agree. Not her, but a lot of anime fans lately are either otaku or people who rejected anime earlier years. And the latter people are unaware of how the former people tease and hate on otakus. So now whenever I meet someone with similar interests anime is one of the first topics that come up. Then the fun starts when I mention being interested in anime, and they project their tumblrmode obsession onto me (whilst we bag on superwholockians, ironic). Then they incessently talk about anime and anything about it because they think it's part of my personality. I voluntarily watch an anime series like, once a year. Anime is good as a pasttime with good story, like watching a Ghibli movie for the first time when you were in elementary. I despise liking any anime just because, ¡it's anime! Maybe we should gatekeep it again, or I'm going to start telling people I hate anime.
How do I stop relying on others' perceived attractiveness of me to give me self-worth?
It literally is the gas I run on. I'm obsessed with it.
The reason I'm asking is because I wanted to be a cunt to my assburgers sister the other day because she kept on claiming her waist is smaller than mine, but it legitimately isn't (mine is inches smaller, and my entire measurements are more extreme than hers). It's such a dumb thing to want to be a bitch over, who cares if she thinks her waist is smaller when it isn't. I felt triggered over her cope statements like "abs wouldn't look good on my waist bc it's so smol uwu" when I suggested working out (I have abs) and I wish I didn't feel so attacked. Like, now I'm in a complex over my waist still not being small enough even though it is physically and proportionally smaller than hers. To add insult to injury, she was like "it's a good thing all of us girls in this family loved our bodies! Uwu" and I suffered from significant, obvious anorexia everyone in my family (but her) commented on. In fact, when family members would comment on my body, she would interrupt as if they were talking to her because she is obsessed with believing she's extremely skinny (she's a healthy weight, skinny, sure, but not ana) and my family members would have to correct her that they were talking about my weight. It's like she never can accept I'm a lower weight or a smaller waist or anything and I wish this didn't affect me the way it does, it makes me feel sick and idk why I'm so obsessed with my older sister acknowledging certain facts. I just always wanted her to admit something positive about me.
my boyfriend is a huge detriment to me and my life for various reasons but because of that i am forced to depend on him
>>58950>I feel like any artistic achievement within the medium always comes to fruition in spite of it being an anime, never because of it (Evangelion, Ghibli movies, etc.)
Are you trying to imply that if the Ghibili movies weren't animated in Japan, but say, animated in the US, they would still work? Or maybe Evangelion would have been better as a live action movie? I'm trying to parse this sentence. Unless, you're just complaining that most anime sucks, in that case, yes, most anime is bollocks, that's just a fundamentally different statement.
The pacing is really the worst part. Most anime is just so slow and boring with nothing ever happening. And when the things that do happen are so cliche-ridden it really feels like you're just watching a half hour of nothing, you realize you just spent that time on empty crap you've seen a hundred times.
This. It really is like most fight scenes are the same, too.
Me and my dad take turns making dinner and I don't understand why he sometimes pretends to be a retard when it comes to food.
>he prepares frozen pizza
>pizza comes out with dough and cheese still looking white like chalk
>it clearly looks WRONG
>his excuse: "I put it in the oven for exactly 10 minutes, just like it says on the package!"
What does this even mean? Who says you can't bake it for longer? But when I bring it up, he says it totally looks okay. Sure, it's edible but if it can be better, why not make it better? When other people make it or when we go to a pizza place, he always eats the pizzas with golden crusts and properly baked cheese and never complains, so obviously it has nothing to do with him preferring half-raw pizzas. I can put my share of the pizza back in the oven, it's just his weird logic that I don't get. inb4 first world problems
He sounds like the kind of person who's bad with technology.
I think he's the type of person to cook by recipe and not intuition. He follows instructions exactly like an engineering plan when sometimes cooking requires more finesse and know how. You can say>it looks wrong he should just know
but if he has at all dealt with car engines or anything else technically detailed he is intimately familiar with the concept of "Why the fuck would you put that there?" and just having to deal with things looking stupid as hell.
I'll never be normal
IF I die alone tomorrow or die alone 40 years from now what's the difference
I meet new people that I'd love to be friends with but I immediately drop the idea of pursuing friendship with them if they're even 3 people away from knowing my abusive ex boyfriend. And yes, I have no friends and am isolating myself.
Lonely, bored, probably going to cut so something exciting happens.
Does he know a lot of people
Yup. Whole city is just a person away from knowing him. He's very extroverted and social, and gets around. Dates and fucks a lot of people. I want to leave this place bad, but I can't.
why did i screw up a good friendship now it wont be the same sigh
I was implying that themes such as existentialism or coming-of-age tales as they are presented in such stories aren't enhanced at all by them being in the format of an anime, but that they achieve such feats of resonating with the audience and telling a meaningful tale in spite of that, with the aesthetic appeal of anime only serving to make such themes more palpable to the average consumer, really.
I think cinema, certain types of TV shows, and especially literature lend themselves much better to the exploration of such themes and various others at a more visceral, direct level, and are simulataneously held to more rigorous standards if they do attempt to delve into them, and as such hold much more cultural relevancy when they do succeed.
Whereas the more juvenile - male, introverted - target demographic of most anime eats things up too readily, setting the bar as low as it is. It's outright jarring seeing them try mix in half-assed philosophical concepts and moral dilemmas, if anything.
dont want to exist. keep trying to grow and stay positive but its futile. wasted money and love and time with my ex trying to help him only to be abused and self harm myself and be the most depressed ever. moved back home was feeling happier but now i dont know how to feel that hes moved on within 3 weeks of me coming home. whats the point of my hobbies anymore? didnt get the job i really wanted. pathetic neet until fall classes. no friends. i feel like such a loser. do good and get shit on i guess
>want a bf
>decide to try talking to men
>instantly get disgusted by realizing how primitive and coomerish 99.9% of men are when talking to them and even the ones who seem intelligent and non primitive are just hiding their true nature
>don’t want a bf anymore
>few weeks go by
>want a bf
I wish this site had more traffic.
Same. It’s a shame there’s only a couple bumps a day.
>>58994>I was implying that themes such as existentialism or coming-of-age tales as they are presented in such stories aren't enhanced at all by them being in the format of an anime, but that they achieve such feats of resonating with the audience and telling a meaningful tale in spite of that, with the aesthetic appeal of anime only serving to make such themes more palpable to the average consumer, really.
Okay, I believe I see a point you're making about the medium being limiting, but again I ask, are you saying that Evangelion would have been better as a live-action drama? Ghibli movies instead being animated by Warner Bros? Themes overall sure, but for your argument to make sense then these specifically mentioned items things would have to be better in other mediums, and I would just like to know which ones.
>I think cinema, certain types of TV shows, and especially literature lend themselves much better to the exploration of such themes and various others at a more visceral, direct level, and are simulataneously held to more rigorous standards if they do attempt to delve into them, and as such hold much more cultural relevancy when they do succeed.
I'd be pretty hard-pressed to say that Ghibli films do not hold a lot of cultural relevancy in Japan in general. Evangelion much less so, but probably the most of any late night anime. I suppose the main problem I'm having is that you seem to have a survivorship bias towards novels, cinema and TV shows: there are plenty of cultural artifacts that you are only aware of because other people keep talking about them, and don't talk about the rest as time goes on. 99% of novels sell like dogshit, are hot trash, and noticed by no one. The amount of golden age cinema films you are personally aware of let alone have watched can probably be counted on two hands.
You don't seem to grasp that majority of novels are awful, the majority of films are awful, and that the majority of TV shows are also awful, then somehow think that anime is unique in this regard.
I’m cynical and blackpilled beyond belief, and it makes me depressed and grouchy to be around. I wish I could go back to being naive and thinking love and innocence exists in this world.
Being cynical or being naive both sound like trash options to me.
Is it because you spend too much time on the internet? I miss my old mentality too. Now I know why people say that ignorance is bliss.
She wasn't blaming the scrote, though. She was talking about how she feels unsettled about her preferences now.
I got offered a data analytics job at a tech startup. I'm pretty excited. The pay is okay (many times better than $13/hr, that's for sure) and I think it'll be an excellent learning experience.
Honestly, I really wish there were imageboards and forums just for women/girls that were more interest/fun focused rather than hatred/sadness focused.
gosh I wish that were me
My bf wants to talk about how we don't have as much sex as we used to. I just have no libido at all right now. How crushed will you think he'll be if I tell him he's always been a 6/10 in bed?
If he's not selfish and just genuinely not unaware of not being good, I would start with telling him what you would like. I would try different positions and try to get past the awkward feeling of communicating during sex. It can be weird at first but its worth building up. Sometimes men are so unaware of what doesn't feel good for you and you have to show them how to do something right. (Also I think most men just don't do enough foreplay.) Porn is to blame lol
You can say anime is for normies without having to type all that.
Unless your bf is super hot it’s natural to not have a high sex drive with him. Its natures way of preventing betas from impregnating us.
As an anon that is extremely horny and never has had a bf that fulfills my sex drive, please consider your bf is being very open and honest to you with this information - it's hard to say that kind of stuff. I would say you don't need to put it so bluntly like that, you could say sex could be better for you and perhaps use that as an opportunity to get a sex life that better suits you so it's a win-win on both fronts.
If he really loves you and wants more sex, he will improve (given that you are being upfront in directing him to do what you want).
I hope things work out between the two of you. Sexual incompatibility is a difficult reality to live through.
You are retarded, enough of this Joe Rogan shit.
I fell in love with a person I can never be with. It happened so fast, too. I used to think I couldn't fall in love anymore but here it is.
And I hate it. They're someone I can never be with. We'll only be seeing each other for a few more days, ans then never again for the rest of my life. I don't even think they like me in any way. Yet I've never met someone I'm more compatible with, with whom I can talk and laugh for hours and never get tired of their presence.
I hate myself for being so lovesick over this person. I feel like I'm dying over and over again with every second that passes.
>>59032>They're someone I can never be with.
I don't know what this means specifically. If they aren't in a relationship, admit your love to them anyway, you want the fucking closer more than you want the anxiety. If they are in a relationship, wish them the best and leave them to their way.
How do I stop being a sperg and look at people in the eyes.
They get offended and think I'm rude when I look at my feet.
I'm just shy.
Ages ago I read a blog of a girl who studied Korean in language schools in Seoul during a gap year from college. She would talk about dating, fashion, food, and had a group of similar friends who she regularly hung out with. She went on to study interpreting and really inspired me to sign up for language classes to do the same. Her blog stopped as soon as she entered her master's and I always wondered how she got on. Had she stopped the blog because she dropped out (she mentioned some personal issues)?
Anyway, I just managed to dox her. Turns out she went to fucking YALE on a scholarship and got special volunteering experience through her family connections. She's now working as a professor. I'm not jealous but it felt like her life was in touching distance for me. Like if I worked hard I could have done what she did. Gone to the places she did, enjoy the same fun things.
But now I realize there's chasms between us. These types of special achievements and recognition just never happen for me. I thought I'd found a cheat code to an amazing life. But no, I'll never have that.
What’s most annoying is they claim they need time to make sure a woman is the right one, but then you see them proposing to some 19 year old Instagram model within two weeks of dating. If a guy doesn’t propose to me within a year I will just leave him.
Chads keep asking me out but also don't seem to think I'm all that pretty.
What do I do with/make of this information?
He could be negging you if it's overt that he finds you unattractive. What makes you think he doesn't find you attractive?
unironically get an adderall prescription so you have more energy after work and on weekends
It's either some kind of bet or they are negging you. Also what kind of Chad are we talking about here?
My friend is getting abused by her long term boyfriend. I always suspected something was up with him, he was always extremely moody and overall gave me an awful gut feeling. She doesn't want to leave him despite this, though. It's clear she still loves him and has no intention of leaving him, despite her awareness of just how awful his behavior is. This has been made worse by the fact that they've been dating for 5 years.
I want to be there for her, but I'm busy nearly all the time. This is beyond cruel, she's a sweet lady. She doesn't deserve this shite. I hate men so much it's unreal.
I usually only lurk, but I need somewhere anonymous (that isn't 4chan) to vent. My ex girlfriend has been villainizing me terribly on social media even though she was the dumper and our relationship was comfy and with 0 conflict until the very first conflict at the end which was caused by communication issues over something important to me (she was conflict avoidant type, I'm bad at expressing feelings type). I found out about this 2 days ago and I feel so hurt and anxious about this. She has dehumanized me, posted a vulnerable text I had sent (to ridicule me with her followers?) and is creating this narrative like if I was a terrible and crazy person. The worst one was a post about how her therapist said "I sound like the worst", and that just broke me. I don't know what to make of this.
I considered maybe I'm actually crazy and unaware? But to be honest, she's never had anything nice to say about any of her exes and has made posts saying that she has only dated unhinged women because of her low self-esteem.
This is actually making me terrified of dating again because I feel so blindsided and never expected this of her. I keep thinking what could I have done to make her hate me this much, but I'm coming up blank. She's met my best friend and parents and they're coming up blank too.
There is no way around it. I need to kill myself. I don't have friends or success. Those whom I love don't really care about me. Nothing matters, nothing I can do and nothing to live for. I want to be brave enough to finally sleep and never wake up. But I can't do it, there is this stupid feeling of guilt. How people who never answered my texts would feel guilty. I don't want to inconvinience them, I wish I was hit by a car or died in an unfortunate accident so I didn't have to do it myself. I'm so lonely.
You aren’t the problem, it’s your terrible loved ones. You need to kill them or just go not contact and meet some new people.
Sometimes moids pretend they can't do basic things in order to get women to do their chores for them. Idk your dad so I can't say for sure that's the case for him. It could just be like what >>58980
i feel this exact same way anon. but im scared id hurt my mom. ive already hurt her by attempting in the past and by her having to see me go through trauma and an abusive ex recently. it would just destroy her. i hope i can make it look like an accident somehow.
i'm just going off of your post, but your ex-gf sounds toxic and batshit insane. in a legal sense you could get a restraining order or report her for cyberstalking or get a harassment prevention order if she keeps this up
samefag, basically don't respond to anything, she probably wants to get a rise out of you, or wants you to respond. also block her and try not to look at her social media anymore. while it's possible in some situations, how can you find a problem with every single one of your exes and think you aren't the problem
I have been feeling awful lately because I have been dating this girl who considers herself asexual for quite some time and we've had sex twice. While basically no sex is part of my problem, the last time we had sex I wanted to make her feel very good so I got a little rough and she had me stop. The bad part is that I didn't feel like stopping, I wanted to fuck her hard and make her cum against her will, to see her cry for it. Anyway, I stopped and went to the bathroom and basically masturbated to the thought of raping her. I didn't cuddle her that night, I just felt dirty and even though I really like her I feel like I'm not getting any sexual satisfaction from this relationship and that makes me angry, maybe this is why I'm having these thoughts but idk. So I'm feeling borderline rapist, disappointed in myself, sexually frustrated, angry and sad at the same time. I don't want to break up with her, I don't have anyone else to fuck anyway and maybe it's for the best we don't have sex at all.
And while she hasn't explicitly told me anything I suspect she has suffered sexual assault because she told me she feels safe to do it with me the first time and that makes me feel even more awful but also I feel jelly when I imagine that's the case. Maybe I should go to therapy.
Every time I think I’ve met the perfect guy for me they always have some kind of terrible monkeys paw flaw that cancels out everything else good about them makes them completely undateable.
Indeed, I'm not blaming him in any way, he's being kind and sweet towards me, and helps me with stuff whenever I need.
The thing is, those kind of fantasies are kind of a relapse of chidhood trauma. I'm not sure that's healthy. Also most of these "dd/lg" adjacent communities are pretty cringe and i don't want to be associated with them.>>59032>We'll only be seeing each other for a few more days, ans then never again for the rest of my life.
Why ? Will he be moving at the other end of the world ? Or just moving to another city ?>>59079
If they have been together for 5 years, I'm guessing that they live together. Do you think that you could offer her to stay at your place if she leaves him ? Even if you can't be around, that'll be of great help.
want to kms dealing with family court and lying attorneys. the court system is run by unscrupulous molepeople.
jesus christ anon go to therapy. and break up with her asap before you end up raping her geez.
Actually just tell her exactly what you wrote here so she can get tf away from you and get a restraining order against you
I wish I had the slightest amount of confidence about anything at all. I feel deformed, untalented beyond belief and utterly stupid. I know this isn't true and it's not as bad as I feel, but I can't stop feeling this way.
what the fuck? Leave her. Now. and get some serious therapy afterwards you deranged coomer. >>59080
just block her. be happy you dodged a bullet and do your best to ignore her slander, if it gets out of hand then say your own piece.
in my own experience, insecure, immature, "nonconfrontational" people tend to be like this. instead of saying anything to your face if something upsets them, they let it stew and then internally blow it out of proportion.
My boyfriend doesn't listen to a single word of advice I say, but then he talks to his mom and sounds responsible talking about all of the things I told him to do while our life actually falls apart.
I hate my sister so much. She explodes at innocuous comments and is always angry. All. The. Goddamn. Time. She’s always so intense and mean. I don’t want to be connected to her anymore but my mom keeps us together saying “bloods thicker than water” and other bullshit. I want to cut ties with her. She’s abusive and never says anything nice, highly critical of everything I do and say, and makes fun of me/gossips about me behind my back, spreads rumours, and likes to stir up drama… and she always says or does something mean when I’m doing something good for myself or have found success— she wants to constantly remind me of how much of a loser I am 24/7, bringing me back to reality. I can’t catch a break. She’s so highly competitive about everything and has to prove people that she’s the better sister, the better looking one, the more fashionable one, the smarter one, the better cook/baker, the more successful one— but who is she proving this to? I don’t care for this sibling rivalry. Why does she still do it? We’re adults now, not little children.
I don’t want to live near her. But I’m unfortunately connected to her for life.
And yes, she’s the older sister. I thought they’re supposed to look out for the younger sister, but Idk, maybe she’s resentful of how she was the guniea pig child.
I understand, but that still doesn't make it okay to take it out on your engaged/married friends. Just because you are going through a rough time, it doesn't mean you are entitled to be a dick to them.
I feel you, my older sister is an INTJ too.
my son let me put together a hello kitty doll from his hello kitty zaku II gundam set
but then when i put it together he wouldnt let me keep it
I’m so tired of the ups and downs of bipolar. It’s unbearable.
Found out my long lost uncle is the spitting image of a celebrity I lust over. Feels horrible. What the fuck.
i miss the cute boy i was speaking to a few days ago but he randomly disappeared and i dont know why or where he went. i feel like i wasnt good enough to talk to anymore or something. i dont know how people can just disappear but i hope hes ok. i hope he doesnt hate me. maybe he got tired of me? oh well. ill just have to find a new friend somehow. very sad though! i connected so well with him. i dont know where else to find friends online…
Why would you be taking care of her kids?
i really don't want to shave my legs right now but they're itchy, fuck this gay earth
Because she probably wouldn't be able to and our parents are too old and someone would have to.
I hope my mean sister gets married. Even in a relationship she’s insufferable. She’s meeting my boyfriend today and might try to throw me under the bus to feel better about herself.
Hopefully your sis is a good mother to her children. Otherwise, she’s going to raise clones of her that repeat the same toxic passive aggressive behaviours.
Oh she’s actually an ENFJ/ENTJ
So far my sister seems to be doing a good job at not repeating mistakes that our parents supposedly made.>>59197>/ENTJ
So its even worse than i thought. They are my least favorite type, so bossy, never considers perspectives of others, insults you in public, expects others to adjust to their sado-masochistisc work habits, when in a conflict always escalating.
>>58950>I feel like any artistic achievement within the medium always comes to fruition in spite of it being an anime, never because of it (Evangelion, Ghibli movies, etc.)
But there is no problem with that. I agree with the rest of your post, though, most anime is cliche shit. But isn't most media cliche shit as well? Not just anime.
my dad and i were going on a long drive from my uncle’s and i forgot my phone charger overnight so my phone died. i wanted to look something up so my dad let me use his phone. i went on his browser and when i went to open a new tab, it accidentally went to the top of all my dad’s tabs. ig he didnt know you could delete tabs or something. so i went to scroll back down and i saw a couple tabs with google searches of naked women from 70s adult magazines like hustler. it made me feel so weird so i just opened a new tab and closed his phone and told him i was done.
he’s divorced and sort of a hermit so ig i had to know he had to get off somehow, but just thinking about my dad masturbating makes me feel grody. the only okay thing about it is that he probably doesnt watch real porn and just looks at naked women with natural bushes and stuff. i just dont know if i should feel bad or not about him looking at porn in general even if its (kind of) soft core.
Your father is disgusting and deserves to live alone.
What kind of mongrel doesn't know how to close a tab, anon? That's totally the porn he's not ashamed of anyone finding out.
What he keeps hidden is searches of barely legal teens and rape porn. Every male nowadays is into that crap.
Broke my top front artificial tooth yesterday by chomping down a piece of rib. It's still attached to my gum and don't ever plan on pulling it out without looking like a granny or crackhead lady even though I'm 22. I'm so devastated for that to happen and need to eat more carefully from now on. I know that the next thing I should do is to go to a dentist and fix it up plus my 3 cavities but then again we're still in a pandemic. Not only that but I'm jobless with no driver's license and low on money (living with family that's also struggling with money).
Since I'm always at home and everyone else is busy with work and errands I've been given the responsibility of taking my family's dog that has 3 tumors on her for more than 3 years to a veterinary cancer group for check up and chemotherapy that is 40 miles from where I live. I don't know the exact price for the procedures though definitely it must be pricey but I hate seeing my girl suffer for so long since most of my family aren't willing to take the step to help her since they have other responsibilities.
I just want to sleep forever and never wake up not dealing with problems and life struggles.
Think about it from another perspective. A dad would probably be shocked if he saw his daughters ddlg porn with girls getting choked and facefucked too (as many masochistic femanons watch these days, sigh) Sounds like the stuff he is into is pretty vanilla, your dad is human and masturbates just like everyone else femanon. Yeah it’s weird remembering this but bear in mind I’m sure there’s embarrassing stuff you’ve watched that you’d be ashamed of him finding too. He’s only human.>>59251
Come on now, there’s no proof of that.
>>59264>three years of doggy cancer treatments>when humans in the house can not afford simple dental care
This is such a misaligned sense of priorities it blows my mind, put the dog out of it's damn misery.
Men are not that sophisticated. The proportion of men that simultaneously care enough about others knowing they view certain porn, as opposed to porn at all, is an incredible minority.
Pretty much the only dental care I had was before turning 18. Pretty idiotic of me for not taking care of myself along the way.
For my dog, I have her around for like 7 or more years since she's was a pup and don't have the courage to put her or any dogs down. She's still walking and running fine and has a good appetite. No tumors found in organs either since her last check up. I just feel fucking awful to see her carrying those tumors on her nipples and back leg for all those years slowly growing on her. I just want a problem-free life without money struggle. Being poor sucks and me currently as a NEET just makes it worse. I want to die in my sleep.
Thank you. i know i was being irrational about being upset about it, but it just felt so weird seeing it. i can’t say i know for a fact he doesnt watch rape porn but i just cant see that happening.
You've obviously never had to endure the horrors of drinking room temperature tea.
No1curr faggit, get banned
i just got another hospital bill for my suicide attempt :( i owe like 5k and i have to set up all these payment plans! why is living so expensive? i hope i get the job i applied for.
What's the point in making friends?
I have some people I get drunk with but I always end up talking about the same "deep" shit which is just my bad upbringing and trying to relate it to my friends bad upbringing. idk why I do that when I'm drunk but it's probably making me look like a fucking baby.
These people are already annoyed with me. Should I leave? I don't wanna make friends ever again.
I'm starting to think that I'm just really not fit for friends. After the initial excitement of talking and sharing things is gone, I'm bored. I've never really had any friends since I moved around so much and I've been in multiple online spaces and deleted a lot of accounts. I wanna disappear from discord right now too but I feel bad for the one person who I share a lot of common with and is fairly easy to talk to. I hate myself for being the one that always leaves and I hate how I can see my dad in me.
I hate anhedonia and I'm so tired of it. I cut myself up so something exciting happens to me, but I wish i didn't have to resort to that. I want out.
There's one person in the world I want to just speak to so badly and she barely cares that I'm alive. It's been four years sine we have seen each other and I want to see her more than anything else.
Consider going offline for a few days or weeks. Focus on your things for a while, and then consider if you want to comeback. I would talk with that person first, tell her/him that you need some time for yourself, because internet frends are hard to find, and maybe later you want to talk to that person again.
I've been able to make my relationship look quite good, but internally I'm wrecked over it. I pretty much only care about being validated through sex and I want to feel desired by my boyfriend. It's not like he doesn't do anything, but it's never enough for me in terms of me feeling desired. Like, I am starting to give up on that idea and I pretty much rely on validation from compliments by other people and strangers at the moment, I base my worth on it and by how fuckable I feel I am to them. I wish I could appreciate my relationship for what it is - we do things together, we play video games together, we create art together, we talk for long hours, but it's not stimulating to me. The only thing I like doing is sex, really, but since I've accepted I'll never feel desired or wanted from my boyfriend I just like it because I can use a warm body to cum. I love my boyfriend and I feel shitty for being like this, but I don't know how to stop. I read a lot of books and create art and work out and all that, but it's not fulfilling at all. I just want validation that I'm attractive. I feel hideous and it sucks that's how I feel worth anything, I wish I found value in my other attributes. But I don't.
Sounds like you’re itching to make an onlyfans or gonewild account. I’ve always found it weird how people in relationships still seek sexual validation from strangers. But ok.
hsivnf a severe panic attack going to kill myself friend sent me money to help and before it went through I got hit with a ton of non sufficient funds fees which negates anything sent and now I'm back in the negative and I can't even buy food and now anhrhijg that hits I'll get charged more ife is trulg just suffering I should just end it I think I'm going to I'm so sick of this I'm so sick if it I'm so sick of if nboidy even cares it's all suffeifing suffering suffering sufferinv
Now my fucking roommate is complaining about my door opening loud which I can't fucking help yet he screams all the fucking time and I don't say shit be blames it on his mental illness god shut the fuck up
i love him so much but he's a fucking pathological liar i feel so sick inside i can just fuck off and leave and accomplish shit with my life but i cant rip myself away from him because i love him but every time i catch him in a lie even the smallest lie it's like he pushes me away he's not just killing my trust in him but my trust in the whole world no one understands and there's no words for how much i love him and how perfect he is for me the only issue the ONLY issue but the thing that is completely tearing us apart is he cannot fucking stop lying to me i dont know what to do i know liars are liars forever why couldnt he just be honest there's no honor in being such a SKEEVY MOTHERFUCKER it fucking breaks my heart i always used to tell him i'd marry him because he'd always ask and we built this whole little domestic future together but now it can't fucking happen i can't respect him. he lies and he lies by omission and his pet peeve is me asking a bunch of questions even though he never verbally communicates shit to me i can't marry a man like that and trust him with my child and finances and life!!!!!! but he is the only person i have and im notready to uproot my whole life to get away from him it will fucking kill me inside being away from him i know this because ive been losing everybody and he's like all i have left! WHY DO I KEEP GETTING HURT BECAUSE OF OTHER PEOPLE'S SELFISHNESS???????????? when the bandaid is ripped off i'm fucking done with all relationshipsi dont even want friends ive been literally traumatized by every single human i've gotten too close to i want to leave the country and i can if i can just let the fuck go and stop clinging to this life just because it's comfortable just because i love him he claims to love me i dont think he even knows what that means it kills me he could find out with somebody else my head is so fucking muddled he takes advantage of my short memory im in purgatory or hell
I don't actually want to. It happens when you don't get enough from your partner.
Why shouldn't I keep leading on men on Tinder for compliments and attention? My friends keep calling me a bad person.
More like a sad person
FUCK ANTS. These little shits keep showing up in my rented house every damn summer especially in my room where I don't even bring or leave food. But dear God they roam around and die on my bed. It's so gross. Fucking hate to find them crawling on me even I don't know how the fuck they got on. Gotta squish and kill them all every time I see them.
i dont think people on tinder actually care lol. like nothing matters on tinder to most people. it doesn't make her/you anything
Same anon again, turns out that there are ants living and making a nest in my bag of clay. So fucking disgusting. Threw that shit under the sun.
terro liquid ant bait is pretty good and cheap
Thanks anon, I'll consider of trying it out. As of now I'm using Ortho Home Defense Insect Killer and baby powder.
I left work early because I could feel myself getting sick (probably food poisoning) and I’m paranoid that my boss doesn’t believe me since calling out sick is such a common excuse not to come to work. She didn’t express any disbelief, I’m just paranoid.
yeah, i honestly don't know how people can cope with how replaceable they are
I feel like all men are pedophiles and its driving me crazy
im not happy. i keep trying and it doesnt work. i dont want to be here anymore. im just drained
yeah because it's true. if we're to be optimistic, they're conditioned into it largely by somewhat more recent trends, not that this isn't a thread that hasn't been running thru our history tho. but at least in the 70s shit was a lot less pedophilic, comparatively. big bushes were in and looked great, our actual anatomy was emphasized
has anyone gone through court mediation? is this just a waste of money or do mediators actually tend to give a shit about whether or not one party was actually wronged?
You're fundamentally misunderstanding what mediation is about. Mediation is purely there for two parties to come to an agreement as far as how to settle a dispute mutually, i.e. the mediator doesn't pick a team, he's purely there to help facilitate you and the other party so it doesn't need to go into a lengthy (and costly) legal case. If you purely feel wronged and want someone to rule whether or not you were wronged, that's what the legal system is for, since I highly doubt you're going to convince the other party (again the meditator is neutral and does not give a fuck who is "right" or "wrong") to just admit he's a horrible person.
What are you trying to get out of mediation?
I never any real female friends in the past. A few months ago I met a nice girl from my city, for the first time I was feeling like I could have a girl as a friend. We had a lot in common and she didn't have any retarded view on politics or life in general.
Yesterday she showed me one of her profiles where she post degenerate stuff and slutty pics (not her, just random slutty girls). Now I feel like I can't take her seriously.
Why people in general so obsessed with sex? I used to think it was just a moid thing, but in my experience, most girls around 18-30 are like that, they just know how to hide their degeneracy.
I don't consider myself conservative or anything, but this kinda makes me feel depressed. I like sex and sometimes I even watch porn, but I don't feel the need to constantly be watching lewd content. I hope it's just a thing with people who spend a lot of time on internet, because if the average person it's like that, I feel like eventually I'm going to go crazy.
It makes the whole thing less special if it's banalised and everywhere, instead of something spiritual and precious. That's the most sad part. When it becomes casual, humans become disposable. So maybe that's why you hate it.
I think you'll make friends soon. Practice talking to family at least. I'm pretty much a loner too, but most of my friends were muslim so they didn't do these things. I seethe when I see heterosexual couples because I want to be a heterosexual myself and am closeted, I want it so badly. Just feel like I am malfunctioning. Separate from the bond of common experience I could have shared with other women.
learning I had adhd and getting adderall helped my anhedonia a lot. not over it, but I had nothing enjoyable anymore while desperate for some stimulation and now I can enjoy some things again which has saved me, maybe you'll have the same luck
Adderall is illegal in my country, fml
My bf admitted he would fuck a 13 year old while he was drunk and I’m so disgusted I’m actually considering breaking up with him. I want him to die now.
Did you ask him that?
no, this is an evaluative mediation where evidence is leveraged/potential outcome predicted as a means to come to resolution
>>59423>considering breaking up with him>considering
can you get any stimulant drug?
you can get the second best thing called modafinil on a website called highstreetpharma, it's not illegal, but it's also on the grey area kind of
>its legal in a country notorious for its porn, sexual degeneracy and acceptance of open pedophilia
The unfortunate truth is most moids are attracted to 12+ girls.
- frequent urinating
- bladder pain
- yellow/orange urine
I think I have a UTI how do I make it go away without going to the gyno.
Japan is a cultured country with polite people, i love it. Way more sexual degeneracy and porn is hosted, and watched by citizens of USA, despite being among the countries with some of the highest age limits, even India watches and hosts less porn than USA.
Okay, are you forgetting how Japan is known for men groping young teenagers on subways and how they are notorious for dealing with rape under the table so it won't show up as a crime on their statistics? They also have far, far less penalties for rape as opposed to the US. Porn being hosted is not the same as it literally being produced. Japanese women are known for looking pained instead of experiencing pleasure in Japan-produced porn. You are retarded if you actually believe degeneracy is lesser there.
You sound like all your education on Japan came from watching hentai.
sounds like all your education on Japan came from watching anime.
Okay, are you forgetting how Japan is known for highly valuing family institution, respecting their elders and societal norms? USA not only hosts, but literately produces 89% of world's pornography. You are retarded if you actually believe degeneracy is more widespread in Japan, no matter how degenerate you think Japan is, U.S. is immensely more degenerate.
I don't watch hentai. >>59464>You are retarded if you actually believe degeneracy is more widespread in Japan, no matter how degenerate you think Japan is, U.S. is immensely more degenerate.
The US has far more laws protecting sexual assault victims, far more laws protecting minors, and it punishes offenders of such crimes much more harshly in comparison to Japan. It is a red herring that the US produces or hosts more porn, that doesn't give insight as to what types of porn, and you are completely forgetting that hentai is a huge category in of itself. Japan has been obsessed with youth in a way that the US is not, pedophilia is even more encouraged and at the very least it's far more protected in Japan. Women who live in Japan who are Japanese attest to how their society is extremely backwards in regards to women's rights and how the US is more progressive than they are. You are not providing information on how Japan protects its family institutions - women were punished if they ever cheated, but it was considered normal for men to take multiple wives and cheat, regardless of what their wives wanted. This was a regular practice as lately as the 90s. Women were in general considered totally in charge of their children and men were let off even more scot-free than they are in the US.
It's not like the US isn't degenerate. But if you study Japanese history, yup, it's pretty fucking degenerate.
And even CP only became illegal to possess in Japan in 2014 which is still crazy recent. Pressure from the US and elsewhere helped.
i really miss my exbestfriend/kinda gf,our friendship particularly, just having a presence like her in my life, it's been over a year since she blocked me and i can't help but miss our friendship. at worst she hates me, at best she never thinks about my existence
i miss our verbal chemistry and how we engaged so much, i don't know what to do, she threatened people nd lied about them and stuff so it's just
it's entirely unethical maybe, i don't know, i can't stop thinking about our friendship
I feel like it's hopeless. I feel like I can't be loved. It's not fair that I had to turn out "wrong"
Well seeing those ugly penis on /b/ are a nice change! (sarcasm) Ugh, just looking at that post makes me nauseous. Dicks are so repulsive and ugly. Makes me glad I'm single.
Could be a kidney issue. Go see a doctor.
yeah that shit is just rancid. i'm a fujo who is pretty much only attracted to women irl (+ 2d men) so seeing that fucked up dick and weird scrotum curtain really cemented my distaste for 3dpd.
I swing both ways but yeah the male penis is just not attractive at all. The balls are the worse part, they're so wrinkly.
imeverywoman420 on tumblr is like the best example of why I hate tumblr she's like every accepted girlbossian evil condensed into one small misanthropic woman. She hates men so much she's gone back around and somehow obtained pickme traits. It's really poetic actually she's so anti-pickme that she mirrors the pickme's in major ways. Instead of enforcing a male standard of how women she be she makes up her own that is also oversexualized. You are not self respecting unless you are abusive and have tons of sex with men, even though we hate men. Cause that makes sense. And if you say maybe that's a bad way to treat people she labels you a tradthot and her wannarexic followers go ape.
Also these women always just pick up manosphere ideas but accept them for themselves which is still damaging to other women who refuse to do the same. My favorite is>If I am confident I can't be a bad person.>If others think I am a bad person it is because they lack confidence.>if you lack confidence you are insecure and mentally damaged and therefore inferior to me.
I went to that blog and honestly it encapsulates everything I hate about tumblr now. Unfunny tryhard memes, cringey blog posts, aruging with maggotsphere men and /pol/tards (why do they have such a big presence on Tumblr now?), etc. Hopefully you get what I mean. I want the SuperWhoLock version of tumblr back, that was more fun and innocent.
shitty blog but i mostly see memes. i don't see that she hates men. she says she wants a relationship no matter what by 30 or something
>hear my neighbors have relatively laut sex
>annoyed and grossed out
>realize they don't fuck loudly that often and that it's just life
>no longer annoyed
The moid who keeps posting his disgusting malformed dick here is probably the type to not leave women alone at bars or follow women on the street. I wish men like that would die painfully,
Just discovered one of my favourite artists was messing with underage fans in DMs. He said he didn't know their age but you can always fucking at least ask if they look young. Fuck the world. Being captured by the pronoun genderwoo crowd should be a bad enough warning sign but damn, I am disappointed.
Some of the things I read here make me so sad. I wish I could help everyone.
I am this close to necking myself. Three days left till uni entrance exams begin and I have not studied a single bit. I'm so fucked.
that's what you get for trusting moids for an instant to not be pedos.
just become a shotacon and sexualise young moids first. imagine how uncomfortable moids would be if women printed out cute shotas to pin to their walls and talked about their shota husbandos and how modern men can't compete with that.
whenever moids talk about women "hitting the wall" remind him that the term is "male pattern baldness", not female. hit them where it hurts most.
I think someone at work is trying to get me fired. I'm really scared because I just got the job. I'm starting to wonder if I really AM doing anything wrong. But the rational part of me knows I'm doing fine because if I wasn't someone would be helping me get things right. There's very nice people here for the most part. I think I'm being gaslit and the boss is in on it. They told me I did things I know I didn't do.
Today I've learned that I failed a uni examn, that means I will have to study through all summer a little bit to pass it. I hated the teacher a lot and his classes were pretty boring, they made the subject a lot more uninteresting that it was. I'm disappointed that this is my third year at uni and I've never had a free summer because of things like this.
I'm also spending too much money and I have little chances to get a job before September. I need my savings for a room's renting but instead of restraining myself from unnecessary things I agreed with my boyfriend to make a small trip to the capital city of my country. The worst is that I'm resentful towards him because the last three times we had sex I really didn't wanted to. I felt really uncomfortable, paranoid and nauseous, physically and emotionally. He knew I didn't wanted to but kept on wanting us to make out. I gave him wat he wanted and felt like shit so much during it and after. I feel like I've lost my respect towards him and I can't stand thinking about him, recieving his messages or thinking about the trip at all. I lost all respect on myself too because I know I should have been more firm about it. I don't know if I should tell him about this when I see him again. I don't feel the same towards him and I hope there's a solution. This reminded me how peaceful and happy I am on my own.
sometimes you read these posts from men on here and it really makes you wonder if these men are smart enough to not eat their own shit when left unattended. like very dumb but ugly pomeranians. i can't and won't respond but they must be resisting the urge to fish their own turds out from the toiletbowl because the self sabotaging inanity is some really spastic shit
Ok, early trauma left me clueless about relationships. Why do men want attention 24/7 but distance themselves when a woman wants attention? Also, why do men get offended if you won't date them while unemployed? Who wants a man around 24/7? I just don't get it.
He admitted why he did it because he's supposedly suicidal. Men will use any excuse to unzip their pants.
>Be me >enfp>3x2>choleric >Constant fucking dissonance>Never enough to be happy with myself nor the world around me which I created, if I succeed in one thing it automatically means I sacrificed something which was dear to me but needed to give up.
Whatever I fucking do, it's always the same old pit.
>>59624>>59705>he looks like this
I've seen a picture of him before and he gave me the skeeves, now I know why.
It's the eyes, something … off about them, like rapist-in-training eyes.
there's absolutely nothing about this man that DOESN'T scream groomer or something similar. i understand these men are going for the "ironic" thing but the thing is that these ironic looks and aesthetics don't work for men because men are actually debased and disgusting, it's never ironic
he just looks gay, anon. the real red flag in men like these is identifying as enbies or whatever. never heard of one adult male enby who wasn't a groomer or a pedo.
any man reviving the pencilish stache is a groomer or pedo, i don't care what their orientation is. this also includes john waters
I have anxiety but it's not the the kind of anixety you have in your head (bad thoughts), it's in the body. My head is cool but my body is heated and it's usually a bad sign. I think I need meds because idk what to do about it.
ive somehow become the female equivalent of an emotional tampon and beta orbiter and i hate.it
same sis. that's why I stopped reading them do it as well. Also, don't post about your relationship is here it's gonna fuck you up how insecure people can make you
I feel like a complete retard. My little brother snuck into my bed last night because he had a nightmare. I was sleeping but I guess his jostling woke me up. I didn't recognize him and immediately started screaming bloody murder because I thought he was a deranged killer. I ended up waking up the entire household and in the process managed to not only scare my little brother but anger my parents as well. I'm so embarrassed, I want to kill myself.
I feel like such an idiot for not having a drivers license at my age. But I'm going to do it!
Theory lessons start at the end of next month. I will gather everything I need to apply until the end of next week.
This is the kind of anecdote that will make you laugh in some months or so, it's no big deal really.
you're okay anon. you were just startled. that is completely natural. hope the embarrassment will wear off.
I got yelled at by a stranger today because I made a driving mistake. She slammed on my window and yelled at me. Cried on the way to work. I seriously hate my life so much.
The average person is a fucking worthless bug person cunt bitch and you should've driven off and made them so angry they had a hissy fit in the parkinglot that would've gotten posted on instagram.
t. Someone who works in retail and daydreams about murdering angry old people.
anon I feel you. I used to work at a chiropactic office and used to deal with cranky/senile old people on a daily basis. The person who yelled at me was young (20s) though. I wish I would've just flipped her off but I caved in and apologized to her.
I wish that I could interact with people without thinking they are only doing so to make fun of me, or pitying me somehow.
Or whenever I make a friend or something I have this odd urge to apologize. It's like "I'm sorry for being here, I'm sorry for wanting you near me, etc."
It's so annoying. I just want to be normal
Is it weird to be insecure about your sense of humor? I laugh at the stupidest shit and I worry whether people think I'm stupid because of that.
You dont have to love your relatives as you don't have to justify to be alive.
No, it's not weird. But if "stupid shit" makes you happy and it's not hurting anyone, why worry what other people think?
I have accepted I will never get a bf but I still like to flirt with men for the sport of it. I feel like a creepy old man who hits on young women even though he knows there's not a chance in the world.
I dont know how to control my emotions or anger and I'm scared it's going to get me into trouble one day
I'm really insecure about not being funny. I know men dont really care about women being funny or not but I have really funny friends and I always feel so shit because I cant make people laugh like they can.>>59825
Why do you feel like you will never get a bf? What kind of stuff do you say when you hit on guys?
They just act polite. Resume funny conversation. Then it ends.
I can’t stop swallowing my saliva. Like, I forgot how to act normal and make it so I just do it automatically/subconsciously. This has been going on for days now.
I need to read a lot of stuff for an examn the day after tomorrow but I want to hang out here so bad.
Does this girl annoy anyone else? Her opinions on pretty priviledge and self esteem mean fuck all.
Drink lots of water, it'll go down easier and you'll eventually go back to normal
I had a bitter old crone as a trainer at one job and she hated me from day one because I was young and pretty. she made constant nasty comments and I was too inexperienced to know any better. despite being the top performer they fired me for "asking too many questions" about how to do things.
I sleep well knowing she's a bitter, old, ugly bitch and has no retirement savings.
Shit, I love that band.
but yeah anon he did an entire album from the point of view of jon benet ramsey as a kidnapping victim. if it makes you feel better I pirated the album.>>59707
lmao he looks russian.
I tell off rude customers on behalf of the workstaff. nothing makes you look like more of a piece of shit than being rude to a low wage staffmember because they have to take it. one time i was working as a barista and some guy came in with a chip on his shoulder, while i couldn't react, and some grandmothers told him off and forced him to leave. i was so happy and will always remember them.>>59814
just flip them off and smile. or maybe don't because road rage shootings are off the charts right now. I don't know anything more satisfying than flipping the bird to a dick driver though. They go ballistic and you can sit back and laugh at them. It's the most pleasurable aspect of driving.
so many strangers were rude to me in public that i developed an instant fuck-you reaction where I'll say the most offensive 4chan tier insult fitting the situation, and it's so immediate and unexpected that it always knocks the offender over. I dont get people who go out and be a dick to random strangers. and they never expect you to say anything back so it catches them completely off guard when you don't cow to them.
One woman tried to force me out of her way on a park trail and by the end I had her screaming her head off as she ran off down the park. she thought she could bully me and get away with it, and instead she had a really bad day and looked like a public freakout case. don't be anyone's doormat. always stand up for yourself.
Moms been in the hospital for a month. Started with terrible blood platelet levels due to chemo, then she got an infection, been in and out of isolation for a while.
We were told she'd be coming home soon for a while now but I only saw her once in the last 5 weeks. She might come home but we'll have to be incredibly careful not to harm her. No raw food, no outside contact. And as bad as that sounds idk how much my sister will follow that. During the first covid lockdown she'd sneak out of the house to go to parties.
It just feels like my moms health is spiraling downwards and nobody is telling me how bad it really is.
I love my Mom, but she stresses me out like nothing else. I'm having a hard time with moving back in with her because when I spend time in my old room, I feel like I haven't improved or changed as a person since I was in high school. It's not true, but I should be much further along in life than I am now, still a loser NEET.
I long for love but I think I have to find it within myself
I'm not really articulate or mature but it's painful to read what you're going through. I hope she gets better, that you surround her with laughter and things that make her happy and good meals, and that she gets better. And if you feel overwhelmed I hope you have someone to lean on that will look after you too. I'm really sorry you have to handle this, but I'm proud of you for handling it to. And I love you.
Haha I just love when I open up twitter or some shit and the first thing I see is how a moid content creator that I like is exposed for some questionable history with minors or something. Bonus points when the fans are defending him
I know the only solution to this would be to not consume anything from moid content creators, but idk how to do it, when my interests are pretty much all male dominated, and moids can create decent content while hiding some shit in the closet.
Yeah, but you can rid yourself some of those things by not having kids and not dating and marrying a moid that wants kids. Maybe don't even marry, fuck around with moids you like. Yeah, you still need to work a job but even then why bother with a high paying one, the grinding is not worth it imo.
But that's just if you actually enjoy life, if you're bored all the time consider a therapist, at least.
Lol at "purely sexual thing"
To a moid, anything that a woman does is purely a sexual thing. It's either attractive or not, fuckable or not fuckable, etc.
This implies that moids' fantasies and views on women and sex exist in a vacuum, they don't. If you see women as easily replaceable fuckbuddies, then it's going to affect women you date, it's also going to affect you.
Or you can suck out all of the attention they give you and dump them as soon as you find out they do something questionable, and they most definitely do, jsut hide it well. I realize as a woman you have real empathy so it's easy to get attached to a moid that you're dating, but if you surround yourself with enough blackpill you can pull it off. Just satisfy your hetero lizard brain with dat moid attention and fondling, dump, move on. If moids can do it, then so can women. It's just that women need more practice to do so bc we view men as humans
You're stuck with two manipulative people. Just cut them off. I know losing your best friends to this sucks but she's going to continue sucking the life out of you or at least will try to when she'll have the opportunity.
As if weebs are any better to be around
I'm out of high school now, and have NO idea of who I'm supposed to be.
I feel like I'm too old to relate to a lot of zoomers and high schoolers, but lacking life experience to relate to those in college or older. I don't get treated my age, probably because I need to dress more maturely now or I'm too flat.
At 18 am I now an adult? Where did it all go? I feel so bummed out because most of my last years at school were spent derealizing. Staring into space for hours and feeling it blur by. There was so much shit and instability at home, and school was hell, because of rumours, physical harassment, the whole lot. I felt so cynical about the world and I feel like I didn't get to have a childhood because so much of it was spent in loneliness and sadness.
I want it back, another chance to be carefree and I don't know who I'm supposed to be. I still dream about my ex girlfriend but feel a sense of acquiescence that I have to marry a man because I want to serve my family and not deprive my children of a father. And the world feels so unfair, like lies that get repeated enough become the truth, and that most people would go along consensus rather than weighing something up themselves. I'm scared that I won't be free, at a time when my life should just be starting.
I never feel as good as my younger sister, who is so beautiful, and knows how to dress, and blends into any group of people. I find body language so difficult, and can appear so rigid. But she can be one of the girls so easily, and I'm so jealous. Why must it be so hard to be part of their world? And my old best friend suspected me of homosexuality, and began to put up barriers between us, like when I noticed her acting distant, or if I complimented her she would say "ahaha im straight though :/". I feel malfunctioning because I am this way, but I want to like men, and stop being awkward and wayward. I want to be a girl who likes guys and knows how to talk to people, and be the daughter people expect me to be. I feel like a malfunction, not even in a quirky way. Why do you have to be so awkward? Why can't you be like your sister? Are you trying to be different? Why are you so rigid? I just want to be one of the girls.
I miss Bulgaria and I miss my family but I assume everyone hates me so it's hard to reach out to people, I keep avoiding people who could have been friends. I convince myself I'm pretending to be good at things I'm good at and that people secretly hate me.
Most men have a weakness fetish. I really ache to know why moids obsess over naivety and youth. It's pretty obvious to anyone reasonable that the "attracted to a fertile partner" is bullshit, so I just want to know why their whole sexuality consists of being turned on by the process of grooming and fucking over young women or teenagers. I wouldn't mind age gap relationships if men actually cared for women they date, or if they could love just about any woman and just happen to like a young woman. Their fixation on grooming, domination and obedience is what makes me mad.
Also, if you read up on a lot of male bullshit, you realize how similar normal moids talk about women they're attracted to (attracted to women that are in their last puberty stage) compared to actual pedophiles. It just makes me think that they're predatory by nature, with little differences between preferences.
Dump him dumbass. And expose him for this shit. Why are you giving a pedophile a chance.
I like when moids claim most men aren't rapists and then do shit like this. Not real rape, but as close as you can get to sexual violence without getting into trouble.
I killed two thick spiders today at home and found one who was already dead. Last summer I didn't even remember seeing one damn spider. I want to look for a natural remedie so I don't have to smack them. If I were younger I wouldn't be able to sleep after knowing my house has probably a lot more of them.
They'll eat their own shit in front of you, you look at them with disgust, and they count it in as winning (what are they winning though, I don't know).
Lmfao they'll say the dumbest shit just to avoid admitting their sexuality revolves around humiliating women, because then they'd be admitting they're wrong and nasty f-f-f-foids are right.
Lol most men use women as emotional tampons though it's so fucking common
Sometimes I consider having a mesh netting above my bed to avoid spiders. Remembering that they're probably scared of you may help
Male sexuality is inherently predatory and pathological. If you break it down, it’s all about grooming, coercion, domination, exploration of something naive or weak or defenceless, conquering, novelty etc. And yes men fetishize the shit out of young weak small naive girls, which also means a large number of them are pedos and almost all men are hebephiles.
It sounds bad but as someone who has dated a couple of depressed guys, I would now class depression in a mate as a red flag. Stupidly I used to think depressed men were more sensitive, empathetic, in touch with their emotions etc. But now I realize many of them are utterly selfish, narcissistic and closed off, and use their depression as an excuse for shitty thoughtless behavior. Depression manifests differently in the moid mind. I really think this modern fad of painting depressed or suicidal men as sad angels who just need to be loved and babied and can do no wrong has to stop. It’s luring a lot of girls into staying with shitty men and being guilted into overlooking unacceptable behavior.
I'm so hung up over this stupid moid why did he have to mess me around like that
There is way too much romanticization of mental illness, period. The reality of loving and living with someone with a personality disorder or mental illness is difficult and painful and draining at times.
I think it depends on the person. My ex bf had depression for most of his life, but he also took care of it. He went to therapy and managed to deal with his toxic behaviors. He still had to deal with depression all the time, and there were moments where I had to support him, but I never felt like it was a problem. In fact, that was my best relationship in my whole life.
I think the real problem is what you're saying, some girls will go for depressed guys because they feel bad for them and want to "heal" them or fix them.
Depression and mentall illnes is never cute or romantic. If you start dating someone with depression, you need to understand that is going to be a problem at some point, even if he's going to therapy. I started dating my ex bf knowing that, but one of the first things I told him when we started dating, was that I wasn't going to be his therapist, even if I was going to support him all the time.
Denial is men’s go-to strategy.
how embarrassing is it to clean your windows with cloth towels? because that's how I'm used to do it but I'm always mortified and embarrassed and it's tiring. I feel like people have to stare and be confused about this method
Why on earth would it be embarrassing to clean a window with clothe towels? Go see a therapist, that's not even like borderline "well I think I'm kind of on the edge but I'm uncertain" you're literally social anxious about completely normal behavior. Get help with your social anxiety, it sounds exhausting living in your headspace.
sorry not understanding why it is bad at all? do we not use cloth towels to clean windows?
I guess you're right that it's irrational.>>60152
Where I'm from most people just spray the window with a strong window cleaner and then sweep it down with a window sweeper thingie. Professional window cleaners have a certain sweeping technique and some people pay attention to that. I thought it was the "right way" to go about it but I guess it's okay to just use a cloth and dry it afterwards.
Idk I also feel exposed flopping around in front of my window and people being able to watch me. Makes me feel like I'm on display up there looking like an idiot and uncomfortable lol. Guess that's extreme tho.
The problem isn't that it's irrational you twit, it's that your specific thing you're obsessing over is a prime example of mental illness and you need help.
I work as a researcher and I feel like I'm slowly going full on schizo.
There's so many things that are systematically wrong in our society and we don't even know what truth is anymore. The peer review process is a fucking joke, you can literally just submit a paper full of lies and biased and modified data and it will get published somewhere and somebody will read it as truth. So much of our world is just impacted by this bullshit too. We just believe these articles written about these papers that are straight up bullshit and the journalist probably didn't even read the paper.
Not to mention to do research science if you don't work in a non-military government lab you have to get funding from people who directly profit off of your results being a certain way. Pro-transmedicalization studies seem like they're all funded by pharmaceutical companies. This has been a thing known for a while in nutrition research (being funded by coca-cola to say soda doesn't make you fat) but it's fucking everywhere. And we don't even have consistent metrics or study design guidelines between so many fucking studies to compare anything either.
I got into science because I thought it made sense and that it was noble to try to find/approach the truth in some way but capitalism fucking ruins everything.
You have to publish a certain number of papers a year to get recognition, it's not about the quality of those papers either, just the quantity, so people don't spend time on their work and it can't be replicated in another lab or expanded upon because it's so shoddily done. You'd think it'd be based on quality but it's not and it feels like it never has been. It's just about how many papers you can write and whose pocket you can line by finding "science" that benefits them.
I hate capitalism but I'm not retarded enough to believe there's going to be a revolution or that it will ever change. We're just going to die on this planet and early death after the rich have made it uninhabitable and evacuated with indentured servants to mars.
We never had a fucking chance, the rich control everything. I feel like I'm going insane.
>>60155>I work as a researcher
Do you actually or are you just an internet addict?
It is my actual job, I wish it was just an internet addiction. Honestly it's probably both, but I work at a place trying to solve the replication crisis in science, so they feed each other.
yeah well guess what I'm already receiving help. thanks for your compassionate advice though
I know it sounds dumb, but I'm guessing you have to be smart to be a researcher, and I feel sad knowing that talent and hard work is going to unfair things.
Like why work hard at uni for a world where the truth gets people shot and money dictates the truth? Maybe I sound really emo. But I hate dishonesty and I miss not knowing that the world was unfair. I'm thinking the type of life for me might be amish type at this point. I want to get away.
What field are you in? And why exactly does this upset you?
Human computer interaction and AI, I work for a place working on easing the replication crisis, which is evident across all of science which is where I started seeing all this shit.
And it's upsetting because all of this misinformation is exasperated by social media and the climate silicon valley assholes have created. For you to get by in science at this point your work needs to be something click-worthy or something that makes somebody money or could be used to justify making somebody money. Within the community we call the pressure to publish "publish or perish" and it leads to subpar work that isn't replicable. Science is supposed to be repeatable.
The people who go into academia typically do it for noble reasons, so its just soul crushing to see how the system is rigged against actual science.
>>60163>Human computer interaction and AI, I work for a place working on easing the replication crisis, which is evident across all of science which is where I started seeing all this shit.
To clarify, are the majority of these experiments suffering from the replication crisis pre or post internet world? i.e. is this a new problem or a problem that's basically existed since colleges changed their entrance systems in the 1940s?>For you to get by in science at this point your work needs to be something click-worthy or something that makes somebody money or could be used to justify making somebody money.
Yeah, I think this is more of a soft science problem, which, you being >human computer interaction and AI
instead of distinct computer science would explain why you're hitting this wall.
>The people who go into academia typically do it for noble reasons, so its just soul crushing to see how the system is rigged against actual science.
Really? As someone who also works with researchers, the majority of people I meet are just chasing prestige if not a stable paycheck in my experience. I don't know what you mean by "noble".
It's an issue in normal engineering as well, and in biology, and almost any other hard science. Hard computer science and theoretical mathematics has less of this issue as papers can just include their source code for replication purposes(though they often don't).
The phrase "Replication Crisis" was coined in the 2010s though has been an issue that's grown probably since the 1990s so it's largely a post internet issue and it's only gotten worse as more publication venues have been created, if a paper is rejected one place the author will just submit it somewhere else and it will get published regardless.
If you don't believe me regarding the presence of this in hard science I suggest reading the wikipedia page on the replication crisis, it's probably faster than reading a bunch of meta-analyses (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Replication_crisis
As far as the types of people, maybe it's just the sample I've been exposed to, but most of the researchers I know just wanted to leave the world a little better than they left it. It probably varies in different fields though.
Honestly going off the grid and leaving society behind is looking pretty damn nice right about now. I can't change shit about how the world works it might just be better to quit my job and just stop fucking thinking so god damn much.
.It's an issue in normal engineering as well
In Engineering it's "Demo or die" or "deploy or die.>, and in biology, and almost any other hard science. Hard computer science and theoretical mathematics has less of this issue as papers can just include their source code for replication purposes(though they often don't).
To a much lesser extent than the soft sciences or medicine.
I've finished reading, this is far more of a soft science problem than a hard science one, though there is overlap. It seems like Universities need to be more exclusive as opposed to job training programs that almost every nation believes them to be.
As far as the types of people, maybe it's just the sample I've been exposed to, but most of the researchers I know just wanted to leave the world a little better than they left it. It probably varies in different fields though.
Sounds exactly like what a prestige chaser would say.
Her viewpoint is a little refreshing, feminism that discourages onlyfans feminism, and oppressive and dangerous beauty standards, self respect etc. Especially compared to seeing young girls groomed by tik tok and netflix shows to think they need a surgical procedure or that e prostitution would be cool/edgy/empowering.
So I think Madisyn could be a crystal cafe user, as her views are a little in line with this place. But also, she would do something like self post like this because I think she likes to do things a little differently. Outside the box type of person. So interesting selfpost.
Ok we're going to be farmer girlfriends now and move far away from all this bologna to a place where we can only hear the wind blowing through the trees and grass <3
i'm feeling it again
that sense of loneliness and anxiety that makes my chest ache
started playing this online game but i suck so hard at the pvp elements and i'm not sure i'm good at the writing elements either
addition: i don't know. it's hard to have fun when i hate myself this much. i'm guessing it's low self-esteem anyway, because i don't know what else could have me feeling so shitty about even trying to befriend people or make things happen
Seeing pictures of happy celebrities makes me so depressed. It reminds me how monotonous, unfulfilling, and unexciting my life is.
i think i'd be more miserable as a celebrity. it seems pretty shitty all around to me. i like being unknown and unbothered.
I'm sorry to hear this. There are so many shitty people who are in love with themselves despite everything, and sometimes it makes me angry because it's unfair, but then i think that if they are so sure that they are worthy of nice things, then everyone is also worthy. and I think you deserve to love yourself too, and you deserve nice things to happen to you.
>tfw realized I’m a female ‘Nice Guy’
You become friends with guys because you’re hoping that they’ll date you?
Not that anon but isn't that how you get dates in the first place?
A friend invited me to her birthday party last night, but I was not expecting her to be inviting a bunch of her family and friends bringing along their husbands. I felt so uncomfortable and awkward with all those people I don't know, that I ended up excusing myself and leaving early.
Plus, I could hear one of her friends and her husband sizing me up and whispering about me, thinking I wouldn't notice. Friend left me alone with them and her other friends multiple times and I wanted to die from discomfort. I absolutely detest large gatherings like this, where I don't know anyone except one person, so this was a nightmare for me.
everyday feels like it could be my last and like the world is enclosing on me, but I never die. I keep wondering if things are actually going to go well, some good happenstances, then life goes right back to being boring. universe cannot ever be favorable towards me, and I'm not even doing anything wrong, I just get dealt a shit hand. for the love of god can something go right or can I get something I want for once
Nice to see another Bulgarian anon here. Your last years of high school reminded me of mine, except I also kept pretending to be on my phone 90% of the time to avoid people and distract my feelings of constant discomfort around them.
I also don't get treated my age, as I dress pretty much exactly like I did in high school. Some people can't believe I'm in college because of how young I look. Alot of Bulgarian girls seem to like making themselves look much older than they are but that can come off as trashy, so if it makes you feel any better, at least we are not in that boat. It's more important to project maturity from the inside and I think you're already capable of that if you're able to look into the future and behavore more responsibly than those people getting trashed every weekend, having unsafe sex, etc. just to "live for the moment". Those people's world isn't as great as it seems. I've learned to appreciate that, no matter how few friends I have, at least they are ones I can genuinely enjoy my time with and don't feel peer pressured around. With my friend group in high school, we could talk about the weirdest shit, and not feel judged around eachother. Having something like that to me is much more important, than hundreds of "friends" that only want to talk normie stuff like fashion, gossip, and boys.
Also, about your sexuality, it is important at some point to be honest with yourself or you are setting yourself up for a world of misery. Not sure about Bulgaria, since I stopped going to school there after 6th grade, but at least in the U.S. it has become an unspoken rule among young people that homophobia isn't cool so if you're based in a place like that then more people your age will be accepting than you think.
Pretty much yeah. Because asking a guy out directly is too scary and I always feel like they are gonna say no. So I tend to try and befriend hot guys and hope they will date me, and if they dont I get really mad and block them. Kek.
I’ve dated so many guys with absolutely insane fetishes and I’ve always been forced to like, indulge in these fetishes while they jerk off because I quickly become disinterested in sex so that’s the only way they can force me to partake in their weird shit. My current boyfriend isn’t weird, he likes normal stuff and the same normal stuff that I like, I think he’s super attractive/out of my league too. But he jerks off almost every day and I can’t stand it. I don’t even have to partake, he doesn’t care if I’m doing something to help him or if I’m not there at all, but it bothers me so much. I’m starting to think less of him, I’m less interested in sex. He likes to do it in the mornings and I’ve literally started avoiding him while I get ready for work, like he doesn’t even wait until I’m gone. He’ll just go for it as I’m getting dressed or getting my lunch ready or whatever so when I come back into the bedroom, bam. His dick is out. Why can’t we just chitchat and drink coffee together in the mornings like a normal couple lmao I don’t think I’m asking for too much
I decided to get back to intermittent fasting after neglecting it for a while now, and I just completed a 24 hour fast. I'm really proud that I got this far.
It kind of makes me want to jump right in and go farther, to a 36 hour fast, or even longer (5 days seems to be when you really start to see results in your body), but I don't want to crash.
Idk I'm just in a really good mood. This is rare. I'm happy.
I developed an enormous crush on one of my girl friends. I was thinking about her and our past and future interactions 24/7 like a lovestruck idiot. I'd suspected I was bisexual but no moid had ever made me feel that way and I'd never met a moid who was as good as her.
We both happened to go through rough patches at the same time so we fell out of contact, but her influence on me forced me to take good look at myself and admit that I was primarily a lesbian who'd just suffered a couple of mild puppy crushes on men despite them being men; I'd seen them as persons who just happened to be male while that girl's womanhood wasn't some happenstance but another part of her that I adored.
Anyway, we briefly reconnected several years later and that girl had become a FtM. I don't think that person is any worse now but that development made my previous thoughts about my sexuality completely absurd. I have no idea what to think about any of this and it keeps coming back and fucking me up.
Even if this is just a phase for him, I will admit his boyishness was a large part of his appeal back when he was a girl. The other person I've loved deeply in my life was also boyish girl and I accidentally referred to her as a boy a couple of times, which had originally led me to believe I mainly liked men, and only liked her because I considered her a boy on some level. This is all so moronic
>>60237>tfw used to intermittant every other day but it made me too lightheaded
thankfully now that half of women are obese my slight plush is excused and I'm considered "skinny". although I still eat just an apple for lunch instead of real food because eating during work makes me bloated. i should probably do some real fasts sometime when it isn't so damned hot. i did a 3-day once and would like to again in the future for self disipline purposes.
people who can't even skip a meal or two are pathetic. fasting builds endurance and helps me with anime larping.
one of my ex friends became your stereotypical wokedrone libfem with dyed hair who goes on and on about being queer while having a bf, when i know she spent her entire teens and 20s talking about how much she loves dick. it makes me a little sad but also gives me schadenfreude mixed with cringe.
trend-hoppers don't have souls.
that's what bothers me the most, i can't imagine being so devoid of my own opinions.
Sounds pretty harmless overall, I don’t know why you would bother getting dressed about it
straights claiming to be "queer" isn't harmless, but i was talking about the loss of the friendship mainly. can't fw people like that.
I really should just end it. What good is it for me to stick around? I'll never achieve my dreams. I'll never make it. No one will ever look at me with respect, no one will ever see me as someone who accomplished something or who has some modicum of value. It WON'T be enough no matter what I do.
who cares what others think, anon? as long as you're not hurting others or causing harm, who cares? do what you want and work on your own personal growth with understanding and compassion for yourself - not holding yourself to the expectations of others. why do you want to be respected so much by them?
It's all I have. I'll never marry or have a family so all I can do to find fulfillment is to become a success in some other way. I need to have somebody feel like it's a good thing that I'm here or else I'll never believe it.
Have you considered joining a commune? Or like doing a homestay or something? There are other ways to contribute to a community that can feel fulfilling and bring meaning to life.
Don't give up anon, somebody somewhere needs someone like you.
I do too. They’re so loud. And people do it late at night. I just want to sleep but all I hear is “WOOOOOOOO!” and POPOPOPOP.
It disrupts wildlife too. Who cares for the pretty colors. Also they’re too expensive and last five seconds.
Why not volunteer or participate in a charity fundraiser? Every little thing counts. Even making a care package for those less fortunate than you can make you feel better, because you know that your actions and compassion have made someone else’s struggle in life a little bit better.
Has anyone here ever dealt with a partner who frequently discredits and looks to trivialize all of the things you do for them? I can do 90% of things requested, even when it's hard for me to do, and it turns into me "not doing anything that [they] ask". Really unbelievable and incredible. Men truly seek to trivialize everything we do for them. How fucking evil.
i wouldn't raise or think of bringing a child into the current state of the world and in my country nonetheless, but i would love to raise a daughter, even two, and give them the childhood i wasn't able to. thinking of it makes me on the verge of tears. i can't pick what gender my child would be or guarantee it won't have a disability like me so i don't want to give birth. but if i could adopt two kids and live a happy life with the perfect moid then i would do it. but he doesn't exist, so i'll stick to being childfree and single. i can at least be a big sister to my infant cousin
I hope you get to adopt a lovely girl one day, anon. However, if it's any consolation, you're doing the right thing. There is no such thing as a do-over for a shitty childhood, you can't fix your trauma by doing the opposite with your child. I see many people say that is their motivation for having kids only to be disappointed later on when it doesn't work. I know because my mom was like you once, and I suffered for it as a kid.
Still, adopting a child is a noble thing and I hope you get well enough to be able to do it one day without depending on your child for emotional healing.
Are you me anon? It's exhausting.
When I make requests it's always at a bad time or I'm not appreciating they need time to themselves. but if I'm working or going to do something with my friends and ask if their request is urgent I become 'selfish' and they begin on rants how they will never ask me again.
Don't let anyone undervalue you anon.
They don’t love you. If they did they wouldn’t be treating you like this. Why do you stay with these men?
What the fuck?!
Have you spoken to him about this? Expressed disgust when you come back into the room and see that? Men are socialized to be shameless about their grossness, you need to tell him it's fucking weird.
Feel you on the men having fucked up fetishes and wanting you to indulge. My ex confessed to me that he took advantage of a drunk girl at a party once and was "ashamed" of it, and still confessed to me that he had a rape fetish and wanted to fuck me in my sleep.
How are you too afraid to ask out a guy but you're not afraid to befriend attractive guys? It's pretty much the same thing imo.
>pants no longer fit
checks watch Yep, it's diet time. It's my own fault for eating so much high calorie food the past few months (bagels, ice cream, cheese cubes, bread, etc.) Now I have to eat disgusting rabbit food for the next month. The grocery store cashier probably thought I had an eating disorder. Luckily it's summer and all the produce is on sale.
The years 2018-2021 have just felt like one long year to me, nothing to distinguish them from each other.
Gotta shake it up every now and again. Don't let life pass you by.
There’s more pressure to be attractive and normal in a romantic context. If we are just friends I guess I can kind of cope and tell myself ‘who cares if I embarrass myself or say something cringe we’re just friends anyway’ but if we were dating I would be worrying about every interaction. I also fear rejection and the idea of being the ugly girl who constantly openly thirsts for and pursues the guy, even though he cannot stand her but puts up with her anyway. If we are just friends I can be flirty but also pretend we are just friends
>mom and dad fighting upstairs about loser brother
>I don't want to hear this
>puts in headphones, take them out periodically to listen if they're still going
>I'm mid 20s, just living here temporarily but still too old for this shit
>start to feel humiliated and pissed off by this
>hear mom humming and whistling upstairs, oh cool everythings fine so why was any of that arguing necessary
>they call me for dinner
>laughing and joking with each other, trying to joke with me
>brush it off because I'm pissed at my whole life right now
>now dad's all sensitive because he knows I'm upset about fighting he had a part in
>he can yell so loud I can hear everything he's saying from downstairs but too fucking pussy to apologize for hurting my feelings
anyways I think I have ptsd from family fights in childhood because to this day I shut down when my parents argue. But who the fuck cares lets just joke about how dysfunctional we are afterwards that makes it all good. Fuck you mom and dad.
>>60229>My current boyfriend isn’t weird, he likes normal stuff>But he jerks off almost every day and I can’t stand it. I don’t even have to partake, he doesn’t care if I’m doing something to help him or if I’m not there at all, but it bothers me so much.>everyday>I’ve literally started avoiding him while I get ready for work, like he doesn’t even wait until I’m gone. He’ll just go for it as I’m getting dressed or getting my lunch ready or whatever so when I come back into the bedroom, bam.
this is not normal. this is disgusting and i'm horrified for you anon, he obviously doesn't have any respect for you, especially if the first thing he does is start masturbating while you're trying to get ready in the morning and have even resorted to avoiding him. why should you have to avoid him or not be able to go in the bedroom because he won't stop his chronic masturbation session? and no, asking for him to have breakfast and socialize like a normal fucking person is not asking for too much. he sounds like a coomer if i'm being honest
Please someone talk to me right now it's well past my bedtime i just bought sodium nitrite chugged a monster energy i need to do 2 weeks of homework tonight and i don't think i'll go through with killing myself PLEASE TALK TO ME
Hi anon, know how you feel. Life is shit right now for me too and I don't wanna deal with it. About to have a big work week ahead and dont wanna deal with it either
this. being a celeb has so many pitfalls. it's not even a cope to not want that life
I always sabotage my own appearance and even health slightly. Part of me wants to be seen and part of me wants to be invisible.
I have accepted that I'm more of a wallflower and that it has its own appeal and that I can't force myself to look my best because it always backfires.
That being said, I wanna work on it all without pushing it and also get over my inhibitions lastingly.
In my area are some cute guys and they made eye contact and I wanna be able to put myself out there.
Yesterday, I fantasized about it a lot. I also thought about style again and doing something goth-adjacent with black and red colours.
>>60401>Part of me wants to be seen and part of me wants to be invisible.
I feel the same. It's paradoxical. I have always identified as an unseen observer. I have debilitating social anxiety, am mousy, soft-spoken, no physical presence. People have sat on me. I blend into the background. I am invisible.
I've overcompensated with a striking appearance, and it's worked, but the attention overwhelms me. Apart of me wants to disappear into the background again… but then again, I don't, because I'm lonely. I hate that I don't feel apart of anything.
I think I want to be recognized, but I am selective and controlling about the type of recognition I want. I want to be seen for my intellect, I want to connect with someone deeply, though it scares me, but I don't want to be objectified. I just don't know how to make people /see/ me in another way. Appearance is easy when you don't speak. Hey, look, I am here… oh, but don't aggressively court me /like that/.
No. I have a very troll-y/antagonistic sense of humor. I'm not overly-edgy or anything like those anti-politically correct cringelord that scream racial expletives, but I find wacky, off-the-wall occurrences in social interactions to be funny. Those overly polite people hate it. My ex-boyfriend reminded me of a prudish little grandma. It was kind of annoying. He'd always yell at me for posting those stupid memes of Indian men asking for bob and vagene in the group chat.
Thanks anon, it's been a rough few weeks. Mom seemed good the week prior but I visited her last sunday and she was really out of it. She really wants to leave the hospital too and it's worsening her mental state to be stuck inside. I am cautiously hopeful she'll get out this week but idk. My support network lately has been bad, I've been distant from my high school friends because we live far away and my two closest friends are going through their own stuff right now (cancer scares, school, infections).
I guess it's just one of those times where everything bad happens at once and you just have to hold on tight till you get through it. Not a whole lot to be done.
how is your appearance striking?
my kittens are in a bad living environment with my ex (beer, cigarettes, glass, food, urine on floor) and i know they are being neglected and he also does not work and soon cannot provide for them. ive been stressed when i lurk and seeing his posts on instagram documenting his living situation. i could not take the kittens when i left because his mom threatened me and would not be able to now as someone i live with is allergic. i cared for them when i lived there but now i keep crying over wanting to report this for abuse but im scared him or his mom will come after me somehow. i am states away but they have my information and i fear they will harass me or try to hurt me. do i let it be and pray? do i contact someone to get the animals? will they even take it serious if they are not being hit? please help. im losing sleep over this. i want them to be safe.
you can make a call to animal control, but their procedure varies wildly from city to city. if they're being neglected and visibly so, if they're a city that puts any emphasis on cats, there's a chance they'll care and do something about it, or at least potentially scare them into straightening up. some cities straight up do not care about cats at all and put all their emphasis on dogs, unfortunately. there are a lot of citizen rescue groups on facebook based on county or area that are full of extremely helpful and caring people, usually people who run no-kill shelters that help citizens save cats. you might be able to find people who know more about your specific area and who to contact, or they may even be willing to help you out personally. check citizen TNR and rescue groups on facebook, they should be able to steer you in the right direction. obviously i know you're not seeking TNR help, but these TNR groups are usually where really, really dedicated rescue people that go out of their way to help, are found. just put "TNR (your area)" on facebook. failing that, you can try AC.
After reading a bunch of posts and lurking forums about similar situations, I’m starting to realize my ex boyfriend was likely a covert narcissist. I never thought he could be a narcissist because he hated himself and I thought narcs were self obsessed and arrogant.
I was really traumatized by the relationship and certain things he did and said, the entire time he was undermining me, subtly trying to tear my self esteem to shreds and constantly trying to get back at me for perceived slights. I thought I was going crazy because he always played the victim when I challenged him on anything and made me seem like the bad guy, but it’s so weird seeing stories from other women who went through the exact same gaslighting shit. Such behavior makes no sense from a logical empathetic persons point of view, but seeing it from his warped narc perspective has helped me understand a lot.
Has anyone here ever done a love spell on someone before and had it work?
This. It’s just like seeing or hearing a kid being abused and calling CPS. You have the duty to call an animal welfare agency
I feel the same way about rich attractive people.
Finally ghosted the person who wouldn’t get out of my head. I feel so free. Empty, but free.
I feel bad about having to constantly drown myself in pointless media and consooming. But if I think about my life or responsibilities I start having a panic attack.
In a low moment I looked at my old neighbors's social media again. They posted trashy pics on the roof. They used to torment me with noise and gaslighting when I still lived there and even complained about me complaining to the cops that disrupted the noise and the landlord. I thought about sending the post to the landlord as it's explicitly forbidden to go onto the roof because you could actually fall from it. then I thought I should move on. Then I sent the post with the name of one of the girls and a fake E-Mail added ("Greetings from the roof"). I still think I should move on and abstain from behaviour like this and not look at the social media of people I dislike but for the moment I'm not mad about my decision.
my petty bitch… consider joining us in the revenge thread in /x/
> I also kept pretending to be on my phone 90% of the time to avoid people and distract my feelings of constant discomfort around them
That hit hard, I did this one a lot. Or would hide on an empty stairwell and write fanfics lmao.
I guess it's true about having friends who you understand and don't have to pretend around. When I get jealous of people in different situations I forget that peer pressure and being known but not understood is lonely. People who you can be weird around, who like the real you.
I'm honest with myself about only liking girls, but I'm religious and don't want to live that life, even if it's difficult.
Also do you still go back to Bulgaria? My family left Sofia, but I don't know which part you're from. But if you do go back, please try the zombie game in the arcade in the paradise mall (sofia) because it's the best.
2010 era topic but I was just thinking today how funny it is that men think dickpics are the equivalent value of female nudes and that they send dickpics and expect us to get immediately aroused by their (usually mediocre) dicks. Pretty sure only gays and trannies get aroused from seeing random cocks. Female nudes are so much more sexy.
we have a revenge thread? that is amazing.
I was going to report my ex manager to the IRS for evasion but was too lazy. actually I have an ex-landlord I want to report as well although the incident was 5 years ago.
Thinking of starting to date ugly or low value dudes just so I won’t feel as devastated when the relationship ends. I have a feeling a lot of women use this strategy.
Okay, I already mentioned this on lc, but I really would appreciate any advice on how to heal from a lifetime of physical validation. I.e. how to not care about it. I do have hobbies, but they don't make me happy. Nothing does except sex because it makes me feel desirable briefly. Any help would be appreciated. I wish I could rewire my brain
In my experience less attractive men treated me better and were better in bed.
It was nice to feel valued and it felt like they did more to try to make me happy.
Just steer clear of complete incels and anyone who looks like they browse 4chan still, you still have to be picky even though you're settling for less attractive men.
They send them because they jack off to the fact that you've seen their dick. It's not to arouse you but to humiliate you. It's basically sexual harassment via internet.
I hate my abusive ex so much. I wish I could make him suffer the way he made me suffer. I can’t stand that he abused me for years and he just gets to get away with it.
>meet moid I actually like
>he turns out to be gay
I'm 5 hours into my 12h fasting experiment. I want cheescake.
Drink some water. Also this seems like the fast track to an eating disorder
be careful anon
90% of the guys I had crushes on were hay. My gaydar is completely broken. It sucks that gay men are so much more charming and charismatic than heterosexual males
I feel terrible that my therapist has to listen to me rant about the fall of society every week for an hour. She's just trying to fix my anxiety and depression but all I can do is talk about how social media and the internet are tearing society apart and that capitalism is destroying us.
At least she gets paid good money for it.
I've been listening to loud yardwork machines and loud trucks outside for about 4 hours. America might not be worth it.
My best friend has been really depressed over the last 6 months. I have tried so hard to support her and be there for her, but every time I check on her she is cold and aloof and makes me feel like a nuisance, and if we talk all she does is talk about herself. It sounds selfish but I’m getting tired of her and she doesn’t seem to want me around anyway. Would it be fair to ghost her for both our sakes?
I started therapy to fix some traumatic memories and overall shitness in the brain.
I know it’ll be a pain to go through so suicide is tempting. But it’s hard to do that without something pushing you.
lol same here sister but we have public healthcare here
Haha yeah, social anxiety is a bitch. At least I'm guessing yours may have been from it? High school is a weird time of particular self-consciousness for alot of people, any social anxiety disorder or not, so these particular behaviors could be normal even without one imo.
It can be very hard to find that kind of group, without the help of the right kind of person. I guess I got kind of lucky at the time because the other people in our friend group were people that my long-time friend already knew, so alot of his friends naturally became my friends too. If you have even just one very good, outgoing friend that makes it much easier to meet others you could become good friends with and that will be similar.
What religion is it, if you don't mind me asking? If it's Christianity, probably easier said than done, but you could consider practicing it more liberally. If bigoted Christians can choose to interpret the Bible to suit their ideas however they see fit, so can you. I don't see Holy Books to be something interpreted completely literally.
If you get in a relationship with a man as a lesbian, you will only make him and yourself miserable in the long run. Do you think you'll actually be able to satisfy him or yourself sexually? How do you feel about having sex with someone, potentially for the next 2-3+ years, when you're aversive to dicks? What about when he tries to be intimate with you in any other way? What about when he wants to have children? It's just not worth it imo.
Yes, we've gone back to Bulgaria to visit for most summers. I'm from Pleven. My mother likes to visit Sofia and my stepdad is from there, but I haven't been as often. Seems alot of folks are moving there though. I'll check it out next time I go. We don't get almost any of that cool stuff in Plevel. Heck, we didn't even have a McDonald's or anything there for the longest time. : (
I was sexually abused by a family member on my early teenage years. I had the courage to speak up after running from him and told my close family about it. As I was sobbing,detailing to my strict father how a elderly man sucked my boobs against my will and robbed my very first kiss, he looked with no expression.
The only words that left his mouth were 'why didn't you do anything?'.
Never told anyone about it, those feelings haven't even left my mouth. Even when I'm alone, I can't say it out loud.
>worked from home for past year
>now have a new job that is in-office but there is no real reason it couldn't be remote, part of their staff already is
>sit in the office thinking about how much I want to die and how I ought to commit suicide
>can barely keep from crying at my desk
>spend more time thinking about how I wish I could go home instead of doing any work
>have to go to the bathroom and just sit in the shit-stinking dirty public stall with people stomping in and out constantly just to get 5 minutes where I'm not sitting in public with everyone watching my every movement so I can cry a little bit and try to bite my lip enough to calm down
I broke down and asked my manager if I could work at least partially from home. not sure how he'll take it since I'm entry level and every firm likes to treat entry levels like absolute dogshit in some kind of boomer hazing ritual to make our lives miserable for no real reason at all because they get off on us being driven to the point of suicide.
I wish I got paid to sit there and do nothing. I'm worked like a fucking slave. They have me on a timer. every single minute I have to be doing work. A timer. For fuck's sake I have a timer software on my computer I have to account every single minute of my day to some task or another for. And they keep tabs on the average time it takes to complete a task so they will know if you are slacking.
I wish I could listen to people more depressed than me talk about /pol/ memes for an hour and get paid for that.
I need a really good anxiety medication. I’ve tried meditating, yoga, mindfulness, all of it. I just can’t get my anxious lizard brain to calm down. Even valium doesn’t take the edge off.
You’re investing into a declining stock market, anon. Everyone’s desirability is bound to decline and crash. Putting too much weight on something that you know you’ll lose will give you so much pain and anxiety. Instead of concentrating all of your self worth in your physical appearance, try to find a steadier source of validation.
And every time you find yourself slipping back into your old ways, remember that you’re getting into a losing bet. Not only will you cause yourself so much anxiety in your youth, but you’ll have to deal with the pain of losing all your worth in your middle and old age.
I want a man to love me I want a man to love me I want a man to love me I want a man to love me I want to be held by his arms and be told he thinks I'm cute and loves me I want to be kissed and loved and I want to want him and be wanted in return
To stop caring about it in isolation is impossible, if you want to replace it however, I recommend finding something mildly difficult and outside your comfort zone to do. Do you have a job? Do you volunteer at all?
I made it! Thanks for the reminder, I always try to stay hydrated and it felt a lot more easier to do while fasting because I didn't have to worry about drinking BEFORE eating.>Also this seems like the fast track to an eating disorder be careful anon
Don't worry, I'm not only focused on losing weight but on some other things like triggering my inmune system so it boosts. This 12h fasting experiment was a first test.
Men are not capable of love. Sorry femanon.
and yet consistently loading the dishwasher for love is too much effort. I bet these lads just liked building palaces and going to war. if you actually got with Helen of Troy, in two years you would just be playing World of Tanks while she asks r/deadbeadrooms why you don't look at her that way anymore
>>60682>if you actually got with Helen of Troy, in two years you would just be playing World of Tanks while she asks r/deadbeadrooms why you don't look at her that way anymore
I used to be bright as a kid. Had potential. Until the bullying started, so I purposely tried to bring my academic performance down so other kids would leave me alone. And it all good for a few years until, well, now. I’m turning 20 in four months and I just don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I failed myself and my parents. It sounds so dramatic, but it’s what I believe. I don’t think I’m worth it. I’m only alive because I don’t want to upset my parents. I wanted to do so much when I was younger, but my life just went sideways.
Ahhhh anon, you're only 20. I'm in my late twenties and basically only got my life together last year. Doesn't mean it isn't unfair that you now have to spend a lot of time and effort recovering from damage caused by other people, but I really think you can do it and it's not as hopeless as it seems. You're stressed out and probably still don't have a community around you that supports your growth, I know it's really hard to just reorient yourself and find a direction starting from what feels like nothing, and it may take a few attempts, but try to find things you want to learn and get better at and people who you can share and connect with. Doesn't have to be in academia, projects of your own will teach you more, and if you keep your eyes open for opportunities, you can build a career even outside formal credentials.
Fiance just left to catch a plane to go see his family after a grandparent died and another is in a coma. Yes I want him to be there for his family but I feel selfish for feeling so fucking sad about it.
A few days from now was our anniversary and we had huge plans for it and plans through the rest of the month and now it’s gone and I’m alone and I don’t even know for how long I’ll be alone.
Would have been nice to go to support him but too fucking bad his family has some weird vendetta against me and I would have been berated with high school level passive aggressive bullshit and overhear his father guilt tripping him to move back into their house despite him being an actual adult with a life and responsibilities.