i got caught in a rangeban for 4c on my favorite board. i'm so mad! where am i meant to waste my time now ;;
left some messages in feedback, but who knows if anyone checks tbh…reeee
forgot to mention i can bypass it on my pc but . . . damn, i want to snuggle down in bed & phonepost.
I have to go to this work related event for 2h tonight and I'm NOT in the mood for that. My boss begged me to go and that's why I have to, but I'm pissed. I hope the hours fly by.
The bathroom gets flooded if you try to shower, do laundry or just flush. My idiot brother flushed this morning god knows why and now there's old pieces of toilet paper, shit and water all over the floor.
And guess who'll have to clean it…yea, me. Because he's a fucking manchild. I hate this so much.
I haven't showered since Tuesday and haven't shit in 3 days. Everything's so gross here jfc and I feel disgusting
My bf has been a bit cold/lukewarm towards me this whole week. Maybe I am just being paranoid and he just wants a bit of a breather, but I can't help but feel that he has fallen a bit out of love for me. Which is again totally fine and part of life, but still hurts.
I hope next week he seems a bit more warm.
One of my dogs died a few days ago and I'm incredibly devastated. I have another dog who is 13 and now I'm constantly afraid I'm going to lose her too. I spent $1500 on tests for her today and yesterday to make sure she was healthy (echocardigram, ultrasound, x-rays, blood tests) because the other dog's death came as a complete shock with no warning.
I'm having so much anxiety right now it's unbearable. He was so human, and would even hug you. and loved to fetch and loved kids and loved to cuddle. God dammit Jack. Why did you have to leave? Why so suddenly? I'm numb.
Oh no, what happened? Was it in his sleep?
I’m so lonely. Is there a downside to selling my virginity to fund plastic surgery and changing my name? I want to be someone else.
Getting dolled up and/or putting effort into looking attractive makes me uncomfortable. I have a very casual style, so it's not like I'm clueless about fashion.
I guess my big vent is, why can't people just be chill? Like I'll suffer through wearing a dress and makeup if the occasion calls for it but other people are always like
> OMG you look so different I hardly recognized you!!
And other nonsense. It's not like I showed up on any old day like this, it's clearly some kind of event.
Usually he's outside my door waiting to get fed in the morning but he wasn't there. He was lying down and awake but didn't want to get up. I finally coerced him to get up, but he didn't want to eat. I let him outside and he went and laid under a tree. Then I carried him inside and he could barely breathe, his gums were purple. I brought him to the emergency vet and they said he has fluid around his heart and they could drain it but he would only live for another few hours to a few weeks, so we just decided to put him to sleep. He showed no warning signs of any of this, and was even hiking with us the day before, running around :(
My whole family is devastated, but he was closest to my little brother and mom and it hurts to see them cry so much. I hate this, I'm wondering when I'll feel happy again.
The worst part is going in there thinking you're going to buy like 100 bucks worth of medicine and be fine, only to walk out of the vet's office with the little cardboard coffin.
I lost my Tako like that, to a bladder clog. He wasn't even 3 years old. I was inconsolable for a month. Burying him helped, so did just being there for my roommates. We needed that, the ability talk things out. Knowing that I wasn't the only one that gave a shit took away so much of my anger.
It's going to take a while, but you will be happy again, and it'll happen a lot sooner than you think. Until that time, we're here for you, ok?
I have recently come out of the closet and am afraid I will never date someone seriously because I am a single mom. I used to think I was bisexual but I realized that I was only with men because I was repressing my homosexuality and I felt "wrong" being attracted to women.
I just feel like there is no place for me in dating!
I made some really nice food and just dropped my plate. It's all over the floor.
My boyfriend is mad at me because I fucked up opening a mayo packet. He was angry at me long enough that the food got cold, he told me to reheat it, and then got mad that it was soft. I used auto mode like he told me to. It didn't give the grams or tine. He doesn't believe me. I hate this.
I'm now bleeding from the forehead. I wish I had a friend.
Are you ok anon? Your bf sounds like trash tbh. Dump him and find a bandaid for your forehead.
Thanks anon. We're both shitty people. I got out of the apartment and I'm going to try to sleep on the train. I tried to wipe the blood off my face but I'm all bruised, it's embarrassing.
It's so pathetic but thanks for replying. It means a lot to me.
Oh anon. Did he hit you? No matter how much of a terrible person you are, unless you've committed an actual crime, I don't think you deserve to be hit.
I don't know how to help you from here, but I hope you're okay and I'll be thinking about you. If you have internet access, please update on how you're doing. If I'm not awake, I'm sure some other anon will share my sentiment and talk to you.
I can't break up with my fiance, but I wish I would. We have a very long term relationship and I still feel love for him plus the fact I am afraid of breaking up then regretting it after a while, which already happened two years or so ago, is preventing me from ending everything. Probably mostly the latter, to be honest, than love itself at this point.
It is been about a year that he has been very depressed. Nothing has helped him, not even a psych. He is unemployed, getting fatter everyday and the only things he does are browse stupid facebook and get into arguments with me and his family over stupid things he sees on tv or online.
I have been by his side the whole time during his depressive phase, trying to help the best way I can, but lately he started drinking again even though we agreed he wouldn't anymore (he had a problem) and sleeping for 1 or 2 days in a row. When I told him he needed to stop and do something about this he said "but I'm not doing well"
When I tried to suggest things to improve his situation he said the same sentence above AGAIN and basically that my suggestions are shit.
I know depression does this to people and all, but I'm tired. So tired. He is using this depression as a crutch and as a way to be an inconsiderate cunt without having to deal with the consequences. He talks as if I never experienced depression even though I took antidepressives for ages and have dealt with mood swings since my teenage years. I probably sound like I have no patience with him, but it is the opposite. I am just getting tired after a year of this. Him drinking again was really the final nail in the coffin…
Anyone here ever experienced a situation like this? Did you break up? If yes, how did you do it and what was the aftermath?
I doubt I will break up with him, I'm a chicken and I guess I still love him, but this has been so painful…
Thanks anon, you're a huge sweetheart. It breaks my heart mostly to see my mom and brother so devastated. We're paying a couple hundred dollars to have a stuffed animal clone to give to my little brother (he's 25) to hopefully have him feel a little better and less alone.
I have a dog who is 13 and I just know she's going to pass within a year or so. It hurts, and even though I'm mentally preparing for it, I'm still going to be very devastated when it happens. I'm probably going to call out of work for a week and not be functional for a couple of months. It sucks.
Thanks anon. I got a little nap in and then when out to do errands all day. I'm doing okay now. But because I have a huge black eye there was some things I couldn't get done. I just moved and haven't introduced myself to the neighbors yet but how can I with a messed up face. I'm trying to not be a shut-in any more but I also cancelled my plans for tonight…
Two years ago, I was a better person. Nowadays, it hurts to look in the mirror.
I went from having a wide social circle to three friends. I burned those bridges on my own. I had a nice figure, and then promptly wrecked it by fluctuating between binge-eating and starving. I thought I could do a lot of things. Instead I did nothing.
Sure, I was still depressed two years ago. At least that girl wasn't a loser who fails to do anything more than getting out of bed and taking a shit in the morning. Wow, what an accomplishment! Hand the lolcow an Oscar for Worst Actress of 2018 - nay, perchance the decade!
I'm a piece of shit for typing this out and wanting…I don't know. Validation feels hollow. People who have actual problems, like those in this thread, deserve the empathy.
Maybe I just want to thank the people who're still around by not dumping these stewing thoughts onto them. Maybe I just want my boyfriend to dump me. He deserves someone better. Maybe then I'd have the courage to actually kill myself.
Like I said, I don't know. I've gotten so sick of trying to get better, to get myself out of my dry and scaly skin, that I've lost all willpower to try again. Almost everyone's given up on me. If my parents were around, they'd be ashamed of their daughter today.
I hate myself and my tears. They taste like salt and self-absorption. I want to be grittier, happier, worthier. I don't know how to be good enough for myself and those who still believe in me.
I'm the anon who spilled soda on their laptop here >>5774
While i was busy with fixing my laptop i had to leave my student home and leave my hamster for 3 days.After i returned he seemed fine as usual,we played a bit and thats all.Next night i had my bf and a friend over,we stayed up until 2am and even after my friend left my hamster didn’t wake up so i tought he was sleeping and i didnt touch him.Next morning i found him dead outside where he normally sleeps.I couldn't even pet him,give him his favourite snacks or even say that i love him so so much for a last time.I feel so awful and i can't deal with this sadness at all.A coworker of my mom gave him to her shen he was so little(because their toddler tried to squeeze him a lot).I've had him since the beginning of the university.I had no friends,noone to talk or spend time with.This little fucker always tried to escape from me but he was my everything.I built a big cage,tunnels and such.I’d talk to him,let him wander freely in big rooms,buy all kinds of veggies and nuts for him.
And after all the crap happened in 2-3 years i thought i was going to put everyting in place,feel good and do better again..i lost the thing i loved most.And couldn’t even spend time with him because i was busy with other minor problems.
I honestly have noone to talk about this except my bf(which im trying to avoid the topic because he loved him as much as me and i don’t want to see him sad anymore,it’s been 5 days already)i wanted to went here my feelings.Nothing brings back the dead so please spend time with all your loved ones anons..I love you so much Pamuk and i will never ever forget you my little fluffy ball of happiness.
You had him for 2-3 years? Boo thats the life expectancy of a hamster, little fella had to go sometime soon.
why the cattiness? death sucks even if it's expected.
Sometimes I feel so strange and different from others, and not in a good way. Today a girl from my math class started talking to me and I was so awkward that I think I started to make her feel uncomfortable and it made me feel bad. I slur and stutter when I speak a lot, making it so it's difficult to understand what I'm saying and the person has to ask me to repeat myself often (one time someone asked me if I was foreign, it was so bad). I've been told before that I come off as unapproachable as well, just from how I behave physically in social situations. I feel like such a loser for not being able to socialize with others correctly.
I'm a big loser and I physically make myself cringe with how much of an actual degenerate I am lmao
i moved nearly 1,000 miles across the country to live with my sister and help take care of her after she was diagnosed with bipolar 1 and started experiencing pretty extreme delusions.
she thought the government/big pharma was after her, media and technology were being manipulated, & that she was going to be killed by either the FBI or CIA because she knew too much.
she had to be involuntarily hospitalized when this first happened, but she got out after a few days and seemed to be steadily recovering. things were getting better until this weekend, when she had a relapse and now it's just as bad as it was before. the delusions are different now. she thinks that this is a war between good and evil, god and satan, order and chaos. she keeps on saying how reality has been 'subverted'.
the worst part is, she doesn't believe that i'm really her sister anymore, or that our parents are real, either. we took her to a psychiatrist yesterday and he gave her a prescription that he said should help, and she says she's been taking her meds but I can't trust her to tell me the truth anymore because she thinks that i'm being manipulated by evil, and that i'm trying to manipulate her. i love my sister and she's always been someone that i looked up to and one of the smartest people that i know, and now it feels like i am watching her mind disintegrate in front of me and i can't help her. every conversation that we've had in the last three days has just made me cry afterwards.
normally in this situation i would try to talk to a friend, but i don't know anyone in this city, and i don't think even the people i used to know in my old home could help me right now. it feels wrong to complain about this, anyways, she can't help how her perception of the world has changed.
the only people who know the full extent of the situation already are my parents, but i can't say what i'm thinking or how upset i am because they're already so worried about her and they shouldn't have to worry about me, too. i have to tell them, 'everything will be okay' even when i don't believe it myself.
and the icing on the cake of all of this is that i don't have a job yet, and she can't go back to work, and i need to come up with at least $1000 by the end of the month to pay for the rent on her house. it's probably more but i haven't seen the utility bill yet. i need to save money but all i want to do right now is go buy a handle of liquor and get piss-drunk and pretend all of this isn't happening. my heart feels like it's being squashed by the pressure.
I’m probably going to sound like the biggest bitch but here goes:
At my new job they were pretty much begging me to refer someone because they couldn’t find anyone to fill a specific role and they love referrals. I referred an old college friend because she was also looking for a job. Now she’s hired and she’s SO FJCKING ANNOYING.
She wants to do literally everything together, breaks, lunch, bathroom, etc, I never get any alone time. And when I do tell her I want to be by myself today, she gets sad and kind of pissy. She makes no effort to make any friends with her other coworkers, and I get being shy because I’m shy too, but come on. This means she depends on me for everything, and when she has a question because she doesn’t understand it, and I don’t understand it, she says “can you ask our boss then?” Bitch, you ask her!
She also wants to hang out outside of work on the weekends, I ain’t got time for that plus I see you every damn day and we don’t even talk about anything. I started pushing my lunch back to 1pm so I wouldn’t have to eat with her, then she started pushing hers back to 1pm too! If you’re that extroverted, go make some friends, stop depending on me because I’m jntroverted as fuck.
I'm so stupid.
I noticed i have a really small white stain/spot in the corner of my iris that i didn't see before and of course, i had to google like an idiot, so now i am fucked up and paranoid thinking i might have an eye ulcer.
Would you like someone to talk to?
You sound a lot like me. How old are you, if it's ok to ask? If you're still young it's normal to feel like this, just know that it will get better with time and you'll become more comfortable with not being naturally very good with people. If you really wish to change then you can do it. It's a skill that can be trained like any other.
I haven't been on facebook for more than half a decade, and a few days ago I decided to make a fake account to stalk some people I fell out of touch with.
I'm feeling all sorts of emotions right now, disturbance and jealousy the most. Some of the people I used to know I could hardly even recognise.
i think i might have lost a long time friend
and the worst part of it is that I don't really care. I've done nothing to try to save that friendship as we drifted apart. i never asked if something was wrong. even now I don't want to talk to her or try to fix anything
the only thing that makes me sad is that it makes me a shitty friend, and im tired of hating myself but i have no reasons to not to
I'm getting overly emotional about things that hardly matter, but I can't bring myself to care about what's actually important
we've been frens since we were children, but I'm already starting to forget whatever we shared together. I don't miss her and I don't know why
I'm angry and frustrated, i dont know what the fuck i want anymore
>Can't find a job good enough to support myself/move in with my boyfriend even though I have a degree and 4 years of experience because the country is shit and everything is expensive as fuck
>Feel like my mental and emotional health has been deteriorating
>Eating disorder is back again
>My current job is far from home and doesn't pay me enough
>Grown out of imageboards which is a good thing but I don't have much else to do online besides YouTube
>Tired all the time
>Nauseous all the time
It's probably my fault, but I'm still annoyed lol.
>live on campus residence
>wake up before dawn on Sunday or Monday to do laundry to avoid laundry drama
>on this particular morning all the dryers are used/out of order
>"well, it's not gonna get any better than this", wash my shit anyway
>come back right after wash cycle is done (I always do this)
>dryers are still full
>take his clothes out and neatly place them off to the side, even take care not to have his lame boxers completely exposed
>start dry cycle
>come back, and see his petty ass came for his shit, and also took out my shit mid cycle so they're all still wet
>judging by the empty dryers, this guy had three for himself
I need to move lol
i know this feel. at first it made me really bitter and unhappy towards this person. later i just came to realize that they weren't really a friend to me anymore. it takes two people to maintain a relationship and you shouldn't feel bad if you drift apart, life happens. and some people really do change drastically over time, and it's not healthy to keep them in your life after a certain point even if you had a friendship long ago; it doesn't make you a shitty friend. if you don't miss her, there's probably a reason for that. but trying to keep a friendship going for the sole sake of nostalgia isn't worth it.
I'm late on my period, way past due. I thought it could of been because of February was a short month I could of been just a bit late but now I'm just plain paranoid. I told my boyfriend and he seems confident I'm not and it could just be stress but I can't help but still be worried. We're getting a pregnancy test later today and try to see what's going on. But if I am I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't even know how abortion processes work. It's all stressing me all out plus midterms are still going on so I feel like I'm going to explode>>6065
I know how you feel anon I had a friend I drifted apart from because she had a shitty boyfriend and it made us just not talk anymore. It wasn't her fault or anything I just didn't wanna be apart of that. Soon enough your friend will be a distant memory and you'll move on. I also agree with >>6069
that relying on memories isn't worth it because of that could mean you miss the old version of her not who she is to you now.
I hate shit like this.
>need to wash and dry clothes before a trip>all machines taken except one, about to put my clothes in there>guy shouts from the other side of the room "i'm going to use that">guy is using all the other machines too, including 2 of the 3 dryers>other dryer full of clothes someone forgot to pick up
fuck it, washed by hand because I can't lose time>go back, hope I get there before guy takes the other dryer too>forgotten clothes still there
There are some abortive teas if you are early on in your pregnancy. Cinammon tea is one that comes to mind, but there are stronger ones, look it up. BTW, Cinammon tea helps with your period. It makes it come down faster.
>repress feelings every time I get a crush out of fear of rejection
>none of the people I like reciprocate my feelings so it's pretty easy
>pretend I don't feel anything until I really don't
>find out current guy I'm low-key crushing on might like me
>can't concentrate on anything
>can't stop thinking about him
What is this? I didn't ask for this. I'm not even sure he actually likes me back but I'm freaking out. Honestly part of me hopes he doesn't like me so I can forget about him already and move on.
Is there a song for this kind of feel? For when you've never been so in love before and everything is weird and new and horrible in the best possible way? Music is my only coping mechanism so I feel like I need this.
I am horribly anxious about my own voice. It sounds childish, it's not even that high pitched but still annoying. I can't stand hearing myself talk. My self esteem is already low and my voice just makes it worse, I wish I was mute or something. I could just use sign language instead. My accent is fucked up too because English is not my native language but I use it a lot and I won't even voice chat with my online friends aka the only friends I have because of that. I want to have a soft, cute voice.
Same, except my voice is really deep. Doesn't suit me at all. :/
Something that I found that helps is finding (voice) actors/musicians that have a similar voice
Next time you see his shit, leave a note where you nicely call him a man child for that. Also, report him to the campus services for leaving his laundry laying around after the cycle is done. It's common knowledge that people will pull your stuff out if you leave it laying in the machines.
I know it's mainly in my head, but I feel like my boyfriend doesn't love me anymore how he used to. Hurts so badly.
Honestly if people are having issues like >>6072
PLEASE just stand up for yourself and tell these guys to fuck off.
If he's using two machines already I'd point that out and just start loading my washing with my eyebrow raised through the roof. Stand your ground with these entitled rude pissbabys.
Mine is low and scratchy.
When i was in kindergarten i swore myself to never talk again because i hated it so much.
As a student my worst nightmare was singing and reading out loud in front of class, since i became hoarse so quickly (especially in the morning); same for presentations.
A lot of teachers alway asked me if i had a cold and i usually said yes out of embarassment.
Some of my classnates even wrote that i sound like a goat during puberty in our graduation book.
When i'm outside i always try to speak in a very quiet, cutesy voice (even though that probably doesn't suit me at all) and only at home i allow myself to let out my natural voice.
I feel like I may be developing ocd
i mean, obviously the guy wasn't in the laundry room when >>6072
was there, so…how is she supposed to stand up for herself or stop him when a face-to-face interaction didn't even take place?
occasionally i get hit with the fact that i've got zero (0) friends and nearly all of my interactions are over various chans like this. made me a bit sad.
>friends can't or don't want to hang out with me even though we talk on a regular basis online and I ask them if they want to hang out with me as often as I can
>couldn't find an internship and don't have classes anymore, stuck with a shitty retail job with annoying as fuck coworkers and managers until next school year
>the coworkers I liked when I got the job aren't here anymore or got different shifts
>one of them is in another department than mine since some months ago and we have different shifts and I barely see him anymore. I had a huge crush on him and it's not completely gone
>mfw I feel more and more lonely and can't do much about it
>mfw the best part of the week is when (or rather if) I get to see my crush at work for a few minutes
ooooh fuck, the kpop general i browse over at 4fun just held this synctube thing for the people that post guys.
it was entertaining tbh.
also reminded me of how friendship starved i am. rip
I never really cared about stretchmarks nor do I mind them on myself or others. But I must admit that the ones that are deep, look like holes with web inside freak me out a little. I'd still touch them out of curiosity tho
I've never seen stretchmarks like that, wtf. It looks pretty cool though. If I had them (or a gf/friend who was comfortable with them) I'd be running my fingers over them all the time.
My landlord is so rude and manipulative and narcissistic and she keeps taking advantage of me and I don’t know what to do. She also is constantly yelling at her husband and secretary and their company has only 1 Star on Yelp. I emailed her saying that the electric company put my payments on her account (so now she has a credit of several hundred dollars that I paid) and I need those switched over to my account to pay my balance (this is what the electric company told me to do). She called me screaming at me saying it’s not her fault and that I screwed up and she’s not going to call them because they hate her and now my electricity is probably going to get shut off because I’m the one who screwed up. What the fuck? She’s not human. All she has to do is call the company and say “switch these payments over to this account” but she refuses. Over the phone I wasn’t able to get a single word in and I nearly shit my pants from her yelling at me, my stomach just kept dropping. What the fuck do I do?
These can't be normal stretch marks, she has to have some sort of condition. Wow…
I want so badly to go back to college for a decent degree in something that can get me a solid job. I'm stuck in a shitty retail job following an attempt at a trade career I went to school for a little over a year for, and I feel like I can't land a better job unless I have better education credits. However, while I finished the earlier course to get the license required for the career, I didn't complete the coursework required to actually graduate the course. I couldn't focus on the paperwork during the latter half of the year due to a lot of stress between family and problems with the college itself, so I don't have the diploma from that year, and come next October it'll be five years since I took that course. I want to go back to school, my family wants me to go back to school, but I'm so scared that I've gone and fucked up my chances for another go at college, even if I don't apply to the same college as before.
Your land lord is a psycho. You can try to call the electric company and explain what happened or you can try to talk with your land lord again but take some friends with you. Just remember that she acts this horrible to everyone and it's not your fault.>>6113
It's never to late to go study again anon. I know someone who studied when she was 30 and she makes a lot of money now.
I feel like I'm not smart enough to do what I want to do, and what I want to do is make a lot of money…then again, it may be less of an issue with my mind than it is my laziness.
Anyway, pray for me CC.
>inb4 don't live your life for money
Everything I want can only be achieved through money. Other than money, there's nothing I really wish for.
I feel like shit.
Bf broke up with me on the 1st january, we got back together by the 22nd. We met up 3 times and had a shit ton of fun, like literally never before, he even comments on it.
He's been acting weird lately, ask him what's wrong. Says he wants to break up. He's scared that the issues from the past will repeat. Okay, legit reason I guess. Except he saw with his own eyes that thing were changing and even commented on it. Manage to convince him to take a break instead of just breaking up. I mean… it's the same shit as a break up but still…
I just don't get wtf happened. I can already feel that pressure on my chest, it's back. I slightly believe him… but I'm also suspicious that he might be messing around with someone else, considering he's often on WhatsApp, which he thinks I don't use.
I don't know what to think anymore. This fucking sucks.
In two weeks the new semester will start.
I originally planned to lose weight, study, improve my hygenie, relax, meet up at least sometimes with my few friends and find a solution for my social anxiety (i wanted to try medititating and CBT).
But i ended up doing nothing.
If i don't manage to at least find a single friend, i have no idea how to go on.
I'm so extremely anxious about every little thing, just thinking about classes, exams and eventually having to graduate makes me want to puke. My grades are also not very good, since i always skip classes (or quit them completely) and i don't study because my motivation i absolutely zero.
This really isn't how i imagined my life to be…
I know that some will tell me to join a club, but i already did and so far it hasn't worked out.
My dream has always been to go to Japan, but i did't even study for that, so there's probably no way i'll manage not to fail the JLPT in summer, so that als won't come true. (And i'm so lazy and unmotivated that this doesn't even bother me too much…)
As a summary, my life is shit, but i could deal with every single thing, if i just had friends, that's truly my only wish.
i don't really care anymore
I made friends with this group of people at uni. One guy in particular annoys me so much.
He's apparently gained enough weight that none of his clothes fit him properly, but he's too cheap/delusional to just buy a couple more shirts in a bigger size. I'm talking about, his t-shirts ride up and on button shirts, the buttons are either very strained or just pop open if he moves too much. He also smells really bad if you get too close in a place with no ventilation.
He has that kind of domineering personality, where he's totally hype for whatever as long as he's in the center of everything, but completely tunes out if he's not.
He has this thing where occasionally he'll slip into a weird """posh""" sounding accent (despite being from bumfuck, USA) but idk if that's because he's a tryhard or autistic.
There's something about him that isn't quite socially natural, but idk if it's something like astigmatism or if he's actually censoring himself because the male progressive meme.
I'm happy, more active and social, I love my friends, my course work is being really recognized by professors, I'm on the honor roll. But I'm going to drive myself CRAZY with stress from taking 6 classes in college. my most important one im failing, partially due to being taught by an idiot with a 3 on ratemyprofessors, but ironically I now need a job on top of it to even keep attending.
I live extremely far from campus and its costing $15 and 6 hours bus commute per day to get there, but the financial aid office only gives us half the money for 2/3rds of the semester and the rest at the END of the semester when we don't need it anymore so we only get $1500 for about 7 months at the beginning of the school year (none for winter) and the other half with only one week left in class.
After materials, books, one emergency outfit, my groceries list of only beans/oats/rice, bills, rent, and transport I have approximately $30 left for the buses which cost $15 a day (or a $200 monthly pass). I have a job interview tomorrow and also sent in my student loan application for the extra $2k that will save my life, but I have no idea what to do while that money is going to take at LEAST 2 weeks IF i get the job, and the loans will take well over a month for the office to process. After my mom messed up my credit score to 570 I'm seriously considering talking with a loan shark.
A big maraschino cherry on top of that ongoing situation is that my idiot uncle got arrested again, had my dad bail him out for $70k last night, and now his wife, her parents and their 8 homeschool children (only two are older than 10) who never go outside are now crammed into our house until they can find a decent homeless shelter with 12 long term spaces. his wife's elderly paraplegic cancer survivor mom and disabled elderly dad of course are now in my bed all day, which I pay up to 700 a month pretty much only to sleep in (its an unwritten situation in which my mom asks for any random amount of hundreds entirely spontaneously so I cant save or budget my money at all), and their whole family who usually cant afford to bathe use MY personal bathroom/shower. you can imagine how long it takes to bleach clean enough for my OCD ass to use it.
The notice was so short that i didn't even have time to get all my things last night, and now I have to live on my sisters filthy bug infested floor out of a backpack in the corner. I catch the bus at 7am and won't get home until 9pm, so I am utterly exhausted every day. I can barely study with the noise we already had from my (adult) NEET siblings who party at 3 am but the total of 12 children and 4 adults who live like children i have NO silence to study in. The waiting list on the shelter might take months, or my dad will probably have to buy them another house (which also will take months).
This among other things like missing class, my brothers regularly stealing furniture even if it used to be embedded in my wall (leaving a gaping hole i covered with a curtain) and moving enormous ancient furniture into my room because mom/dad said they could, everyone eating/drinking my sparse vegan food, being the only one who cleans the house, being a 3rd class citizen here in general, are all telling me i might be better off moving into a shitty filthy dorm with 6 roommates close to school if I get the job.
Kind of on the bright side my mom's pedophile brother who used to kiss me as a child had a heart attack last night and needs surgery, but he cant get it because the nurse ripped his corkscrew artery. He raped a 15 year old girl in 2011, blamed her, is completely broke and cant take care of his 10 kids and 3 ex wives or 1 current wife, but he keeps trying to get me to live with him in south korea and adopt me. I guess he finally took the hint and started ignoring me since last christmas. He's been killing himself by eating mountains of greasy fast food daily and gained 200 lbs presumably with guilt for years, but everyone pretends he's so innocent for some reason and they keep expecting me to care, but I'm really hoping he dies soon.
ALSO, the extremely hot, funny, fashionable french girl enrolled in our school's international program called me really pretty last week and I've kind of gotten a little crush on her. that is all.>>5980
anon I feel so sorry for you. I have a little syrian teddy of my own and if i couldn't come home and cuddle her after my stressful hellish days, i dont know what i'd do.
i'm a bisexual girl who has only had sex with a girl once (it was a sugar baby situation, dude paid us to have sex with him), but i loved it and want to have sex with more girls. the thing is, it's so hard to find a girl to hook up with, i don't really get it.
Hey anon, one step at a time. Focus on something small and completable and work up from there. Dont get lost in the big picture! You can do it.
i wish i could kill myself.
>self harming again after 3-4 years without doing it
>being harrassed by a shit stain of a person
>hate my current body
>crappy job, little payment
>not taking my antidepressant daily because i keep forgetting it
>25 years old, feel like a fucking baby emotionally speaking
k i l l m e
REEE i dropped and broke my favorite eyeshadow which i'm positive was a limited edition, curse you butterfingers.
looks like my hdd just crashed. feeling happy that i got 50 bucks om amazon to buy a new one, but bothered because, it just had to do this during a time when i honestly need a computer. i feel like numb poop.
i'm trying to unscrew the back of the laptop to maybe…idk, get it prepared but the screws won't come out. maybe bc im using a butter knife
I feel very sick and idk why. I think it has to do with my stomach. I hope it goes away soon.
>move in with a boyfriend who I know doesn’t love me as much as I love him, but will financially support me with everything
>live poor and alone the rest of your life because you’re too dumb to get any high paying job
Make him love you. Become That Bitch.
Go live with your boyfriend for now BUT don't stop working and keep trying to pursue a better job. If you know he doesn't love you that much the chances of him breaking up are higher and you don't want to stay without any money if the relationship falls apart. Listen to my advice and save yourself from future problems.
I want everyone who knew me to forget about our interactions, so desperately.
What do I do to become That Bitch, anon?
Do you live with your family? Or just the two of you?
I'm an actual failure. I have such difficulty learning to drive. I feel terrified in general of being driven - I feel like I will die or my loved ones will die. It's even worse when I'm the driver. I don't want to be the cause, even indirectly, of someone withering away.
Even when I don't feel terrified, I feel unable to concentrate. I'm always thinking and it's like when I drive, that mind conversation can't be switched off. It's super distracting. Worst of all, no one believes me, the people who want me to drive. But I do, too….it's just insanely difficult. I've failed all three drive tests and I got a new permit. I'm scheduled for antoher test, soon.
one of my close friends is going to kill herself. i don't know when, but i've accepted it's going to happen. i already talked to her, tried to convince her to go to therapy, talked to her parents (they're in denial) and nothing i did seemed to help and now she is pushing me away. i thought i recovered from my depression but i've relapsed again and want to hurt myself so badly (for various reasons, not just because of my friend).
It's okay to take your time, anon. You'll get your license when you're ready. There's nothing wrong with that. It's better than the alternative where you end up in a dangerous situation due to fear.
Lots and lots of self-improvement. Strut the stuff, get confident (even if you gotta fake it at the start) and be better to yourself, esp if you put others before your own needs.
Also purdy yourself up more often if you don't already and have fun!
it's okay anon, my mom failed those tests several times in a row but she's an alright driver now
I really hate myself. I wish I could be normal like everyone else.
I wish I could just die already, I'm sick and tired of doing things.
I should really stop reading braincels/trp/r9k because it fucks with my view of men and makes me miserable, but it's almost compulsive.
Maybe when I finally get sex and romance a man or have more contact with normies when uni starts it will improve. I'm tired of stewing in my own shit and making my own problems.
I'm not allowed to do my laundry because it's easter.
It's my first easter at home after 6 years and now I'm remembering why I fucking hate any holiday. I wish I had somewhere to go so I wouldn't have to listen to my mother, but nothing works today. Also my brothers gf is here, who my mother basically worships so now I'll have to listen how great she is and I'm just a pos compared to her. Yey.
It's 11am and the day is already shit
…and one of my favourite characters just died. Fml
From my experience, even on this shithole called r9k you can occasionally find postings of guys who are not rotten and hateful, just depressed and hopeless. Not all of them are misogynists but sadly those who are, are the loudest and make the entire group look bad. Generally you can distinguish between anons who hate the entire world and see nothing wrong with them and those who hate themselves and understand that they are the source of their problems.>>6248
be strong and hold on. Soon it will be over.
BTW we have those silly rule here as well. Some appartements even forbid you to fill the bathtub on holidays.
To this point I still think most of them have no idea what a woman even is, they are just underages who spam "REEEEE ROASTIE" just to make noise and perpetuate the spirit of the board. Maybe I'm wrong but their posts look like they're literal duplicates which don't transmit any message, don't have any essence whatsoever.>>6248
But easter is over one week. Are you guys catholic?
Good to know I'm not alone lol>>6252
I'm not but my mother is
>waiting for a job interview and realizing how shitty I look
Yea…great. should've put in more effort ffs
I am so done with you, you are a piece of shit who will never change. a lazy ass slob who did disgusting things and who will keep on being a disgusting slob until death. I just want to push you away and the only reason I don't is because of my own weak ass personality and because of the good memories. I'm afraid of being alone or running out of a fucking plan B… But this is so tiring. I can't get over the disgusting things you did, you sicko. You ruined everything beautiful that we had, and if your family knew about what you did they would be disgusted, you piece of shit. We have nothing in common anymore. I really hope you get tired of me and leave me alone no matter how much it would hurt me in a weird way. Go away.
I'm never going to figure out friendship or how to flick guys away from me with ease. I get fearful easily and freeze up so it's like the conversation will keep on going even though I was alone and even though I try to look away and make long pauses evident to the guy. I wish I could just say I want to be left alone and that they'd listen and follow that command immediately. I'm weak and pathetic.
My mother is completely nuts. I can't wait until I move out.
This may be my only chance to fuck in years because of how socially retarded I am, but at the same time the circumstances are terrible.
>had a fling with a guy years ago but never went to bed with him
>things slowed down, we ended it and stayed friends
>guy got a girlfriend
>guy and girlfriend constantly fight
>guy asks me on a date
>hits on me
>i say we should hang out as friends and not have "real" date because he has a girlfriend
>but I know
>and he knows
Things may not happen during this first time we're going to hang out in ages but they may soon. I feel like a piece of shit but I'm so alone. I haven't been kissed or touched in several years and I'm a loner. I just want to be touched and kissed and enjoy being in a guy's arms for a while. I'm not in love with him but he makes me feel so comfortable. In a normal situation I'd probably just say no right away but I want it so bad. We're going to see each other next week.
What should I do? I want honest answers from people who are in a similar situation as me, borderline wizards. Other people just won't get it because they don't know what is like to be completely untouched and alone for years and feel like no one will ever do anything with you, it's easy to judge harshly if you have sexual and romantic experience and don't know what is like to feel like you're running out of chances to experience sex and affection.
He clearly doesn't care about his girlfriend if he's actively pursuing dates with other women. You can say you're going to hang out as "just friends" to mitigate the guilt you're feeling, but if what you're saying is true, you know that no sugarcoating makes it right. Be firm and tell him that you won't see him until he is no longer in a relationship. If he decides to stay with his girlfriend, congrats. You will be acting like a moral person.
Don't do it, anon. Imagine if you were the girlfriend, how would you feel? He's an asshole but if you went through with it, you would be as guilty as he is. Tell him he's a dick and to break up with his gf.
Be a slut and do it, but don't be surprised when karma eventually hits.
>>6314>Be a slut and do it, but don't be surprised when karma eventually hits.
ask me how I know you're a male
I don't see why she shouldn't. I would feel like I'm asking to be fucked by karma if I did, so I wouldn't, but I thought I'd share my perspective. Geez.
Literally the only reason you shouldn't do it is not to hurt his gf. Your sexual lust is the second-rate priority here. But to me it seems like their relationship is pretty much over so what's there to stop you? Take in account that there's also a chance she will never hear of the affair or that she will hear of it too late, when she's done with it.
Why don't you bring in more dets about them? Is there any chance they get back together and you fuck that up? Is their relationship so degenerated he has to look for an escapade to bear it or is it legitimately cheating? Has she cheated on him yet? Does she still love him? Is she more worthy than you are?
pic pretty much related
Karma isn't real, anon. If karma was real life would be a lot
different and there would always be justice in one way of another, but most of the time there isn't any. And I'm not talking just about something small like cheating, but big crimes too, like killers and thieves. Those things can destroy lives way worse than a cheater, and affect tons of people, and several times the criminals walk away freely or don't even pay in any way whatsoever, living good lives til the end. It is fucked up.
tl;dr Karma isn't real. If something bad happens in the end it can be a direct consequence of your choices, but there isn't any kind of bullshit energy out there telling you that you will pay for hurting someone else's feefees.
hey everyone, thanks for the replies. I am still unsure of what I should do. We're going to see each other next week, probably on Friday unless something gets on the way.
My post made it seem like we were going to meet up and go straight to a bedroom or something like that because I was anxious since we had just decided to hang out. I know he wants to, of course, and so do I, but we will be out in public in the middle of the day… so something happening this Friday seems unlikely. If something sexual does end up happening it will definitely take longer than just a single 2 hr long date, it would probably take a few more dates. I think the "worst" thing that could happen would be a few kisses (Im lowkey hoping for it)
I can't ask him to leave her because they have been together for ages and I have no interest in pursuing a romantic relationship with him, so if I asked him to end things with her and he did I'd probably have to start something romantic with him, right? I don't know. I'd love to be fwb with him, and he is the only guy I could ever do that because I'm quite the romantic and inexperienced like I explained before… but having a romantic relationship with him doesn't sound like something I'd want.
I don't know his girlfriend well enough to say if the relationship is more dead than alive. She was never friends with me, but I don't really care about her or about hurting her. Sounds harsh, but it is true since I don't know her well enough to feel anything and my own desires and needs being louder than me giving a fuck about her.
There is one thing I care about though: I don't want to feel guilty for fucking a guy that has a girlfriend. I know it is horrible and it is wrong, and I know myself well enough to know I'd carry the guilt over this for a long time. I think this is one of those cases where I need to know what I care about the most, my lack of human touch and need for sex and affection or my brain guilt tripping me for months… :/
I have no idea what to do, sorry if I just rambled more. I will probably update you guys after we see each other.
I mean, I think a lot of people care about others they don't personally know. A man wanted me to perform sexual acts with him and even though I didn't personally know his girlfriend, just the thought of the pain she'd go through made me screenshot the conversation and send them to her. If she's been with this guy for years, just imagine how horrid it'd feel if you thought you were with this guy you loved and then it turns out after years he not only doesn't, but that he'd also been cheating on you.
I get you aren't used to physical contact and want it, but like, you're going to get it one day regardless. Don't let your first kiss be one you feel guilt about.
On the other hand, even though I think it's best to tell the person cheated on, I still think it's always the cheater's fault, not the person the cheater cheated on their significant other with. They can always say no.
if you really don't know what to do you're a piece of shit
Devil pepe anon here>I don't care about his girlfriend
Welp, that's it. You're a horrible shell fish person (and I understand you, but that doesn't make you any better, not even in my eyes) and you should totally go ahead and fuck him. For real. Unless you have some other reason for feeling guilt, like, idk, religious ones (though I highly doubt that). But no, he's oFfICiaLlY in a relationship and you were probably brainwashed into thinking that cheating, or helping him to cheat, in this situation, is bad. Like many other anons ITT. It's not relevant to their bond whether you fuck with him or not.>You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:27-28)
It seems like both of you are horrible twats who need emotional and sexual support. Just imagine how hard will the poor girl be destroyed and how impassive you 2 will be to her suffering. But hey, at least you have each other.
I hope you die alone. I hate people like you, you selfish, deplorable, ~uwu~ im getting guilt tripped by my brain, anon.
nta but you are all so hypocritical. this always happens. we had a thread here and a long time ago on lc full of cheaters and people who were thinking about cheating and it was fine in your book because ~feelings~ and ~regret~. shes just admitting explicitly that she doesn't care about some random instead of lying like a bunch of you did.
admitting you don't care about someone youre not friends with is not a crime and most of us probably don't care about our friends SO unless we personally know them. or are you going to disagree and lie again? shes not attacking her or ~stealing~ the girls boyfriend. she's also not the one cheating because she's single. the real dick here is the guy but whatever.
Yikes, aren't you guys going a bit overboard?
She obviously knows it's wrong, that's why she's conflicted. Chill out.>>6329
If you make him leave his girlfriend that doesn't mean you owe him anything or need to instantly be his girlfriend.
You could tell him you're not comfy meeting him like that until he settles things with his girlfriend and let him make the choice, without asking him to dump her and without hinting that once he does you two will get together.
While it's not just your "fault" and it's him actually cheating, it's still wrong.
If you're not interested in a romantic thing with him you're probably better off looking for somebody else than get into something that might become messy later.
Actually she isn't even wrong.
A guy who will cheat his gf because of a fight isn't anyway worth much.
Any normal relationship can survive such things and if he is so easy to go fuck some other girls then its even better for everyone if this relationship doesn't last.
My tip go fuck with him but don't be his gf.
takes two to tango, they're both dicks. if she didn't know about her it'd be different.
Yea, you're right. Like I said both of them are probably going through hard times and need emotional support, and that's without knowing the other side of the story, what has the girlfriend done to the guy and assuming she gives a damn about him fucking one more girl.
Sorry for being harsh and I suggest you to do what this anon just said. At least try to minimize the collateral damage.
I'm being an insecure, irrational and salty bitch tbh
>bf doesn't answer messages like usual
>see that he's constantly online on Whatsapp
>like, he won't check the app we use for hours or reply, but is on whatsapp at least every 30 minutes
>jokingly tell him if he could leave the app for a second and actually reply to me
>"uhh we're organizing tomorrow training"
Every day? From literally 7am until 9pm? Sure mate.
I don't mind him having friends, being in the gym for 3 hours, having fun and shit but stop being a cunt and actually reply to me you fucker. If you can check fucking whatsapp then you can reply to me too
I'm so over LC mods being incompetent as fuck and letting disgusting shit stay on the board for hours.
EVERY fucking day i go to /ot/, no matter the hour, there is child porn, which stays there for HOURS even after reporting it.
I would vent about it there and hope for some change (which i did a while ago to no avail) but i'm 99% sure that i will see CP if i go to /ot/, i don't even have to look to just know. If everything else going on was making my interest for going to LC minimal this is making me want to stop visiting altogether.
Makes me appreciate how quick the mods here are to delete and ban stuff.
that's not irrational at all unless you're messaging him the kind of stuff that doesn't need a reply or is very, very unimportant. part of being your boyfriend is being your friend.
I'm not the only one who sees that the anatomy is off, right??
Bf is going to this artist and honestly a lot of his stuff is really hit or miss. I'm a bit worried…
The wings look good but the body looks totally off. It already looks like it's fading? Do you have an example of the artist's better work?
Now that you mention it, a lot of them look like they're faded
Bf already got 2 tattoos done by him and they don't look bad or faded but I'm still worried when I see stuff like this or some of the other work that is anatomically off or wonky.
her arms, butt crack and legs look so terrible
Has he always been like this? There's only so long you can go organizing something before it's just another part to a larger problem. >>6369
Maybe this guy isn't that great at drawing people/the human body? I think the wings on this one and the flowers and lion in the other pic look fine.
Are your bf's previous tattoos from him of people? Is he getting a person?
He's getting something similar to the girl with the lion. So I guess it should be okay
I wish I could punch people.
start taking boxing classes then anon-kun
because women can't do boxing, amirite hahaha
so i give up on trying to make friends. could type up an essay on why, but i won't, so here's a sum up; nobody wants to be bothered with me & i'm tired of constant rejections (online & off). like, i'm just too boring to be liked. there are so many rotten sides to my personality, my interests are skewed and "weird", even to people online that share them…….there's just no ground for me to stand on with other people.
sorry to everyone who had to deal with me before. and apologies to anyone in the future that wants to hang, but. i give up.
If you're weak and have a boyfriend, you could punch him in the stomach.
Someone linked to this site on 8chan /r9k/ about an hour ago.>>6396
this is probably a cuckold.
I HATE GROUP WORK. I HATE IT SO MUCH. I HATE JHFAJKFHFKHJAFHJK HATE HATE HATE IT. EVERYONE IS SO HARD TO WORK WITH. MY FRIEND HAS CHANGED EVERYTHING AND ITS WRONG NOW. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
everything is horrible and im too stupid to fix anything and its always like this anyway
I stopped running and chasing after my bf because I'm tire of it. For once I didn't send a message first and guess what? It's now 1:30pm and he still didn't contact me, but did log on a few times.
I'm tired of this shit. He said he didn't have any plans for today except driving his mother to the airport and his brother to uni, which CAN'T take longer than 7 fucking hours. He really can't take 20 seconds to send an emoji or morning message, really? Get fucked.
I'm p sure this is also my pms speaking right now, but fucking hell I'm done
I don't think not sending messages for a few days is bad. Some people just aren't the type to contact others that frequently and prefer to say things in person. He could have thought you were too busy for messages anyway since usually you are the one to start contacting him.
I had drunken mindless sex with someone I met from tinder for the first time and the guy kept saying sweet things to me and he seems to actually like me but I feel very inadequate and feel like he;s lying, fml
He most likely is lying, you met him on tinder and had drunk sex with him. Come on, anon.
I think aging isn't as bad as people make it out to be.
Since I got older I'm a lot more respected. People actually listen to my ideas instead of just treating me as some rebellious young person. I also have a lot more life experience and better skills. Being friends or in a relationship with people my age is also easier because almost everyone is more mature.
So In my Computer science class I haven't attended for one month and a half (I watch the lectures online instead cause I'm extremely depressed atm and don't want to go outside, I'm getting help right now.) Basically, I returned for the midterm, I don't really smile a lot and the guy behind me said: "she's so mean, and never comes to class, what's wrong with her".
That shit pissed me off, cause he was right behind me and I can CLEARLY hear him, I guess he thought I didn't know English cause I look foreign? I don't know, but I really got angry and it ruined my day :/ Why are people so rude? I'm not smiling cause I'm not fucking happy, I hate how some people are entitled to my smile, sorry I'm not happy enough for you -_-
That's so rude. I know the feeling, anon. I have problems with the same sometimes. People want you to smile for no reason otherwise they think you're being rude. I always smile when I get to places just to make things easier for myself, then I let myself sulk after.
This is my dream. I hate not being respected because people tend to think I'm younger than I am. Even when they learn my age, it's like that image of however old they thought I was is stuck in their head.
>wake up passionate about working on personal project
>also incredibly horny to the point of being distracted
>nothing is helping
I have pharyngitis right now and my boyfriend and my mom are caring for me, but I still feel like crap. I need my voice to work. This is horrible.
I'm really sad and have nobody to talk to. I feel like when I open up and say what I'm really struggling with I become a huge joke that everybody can have fun mocking because I'm so pathetic and stupid. So then that discourages me from opening up because I know I shouldn't, and everything gets worse because it all gets built up inside and I don't know how to handle all of it. I'm trying very hard to be one of those people who is completely stoic and doesn't let things bother them even when they really do but I'm just so sad and full of self hatred and anger towards myself that it hurts and I fail at that.
I've tried keeping a journal because I used to when I was younger, but I can never get back into it like I used to be. I get so embarrassed by everything I write that I'll make it two days and then want to rip out the pages so I never have to remember anything I said. It doesn't help at all.
I just feel so hopeless and it's only getting worse. I wish I could stop being this way and just be a normal person that isn't a pathetic laughing stock. And here I am doing it again but idk.
I hope this doesn't sound retarded, but you know how you rip the paper after writing your embarrassing feelings? Maybe you could do that in a "cerimonial" way because lots of people do that when they have feelings they want to let go of, or vent. Write with the purpose of really getting rid of the paper, maybe by burning it or cutting it into tiny pieces with a pair of scissors. Sounds silly but it can be helpful and release stress too. Hope you feel better.
My ""friend"" always comes to ask how I'm doing just to vent and complain about wanting to die. I don't want to hear that especially right now when I am really sick, I've been on and out the hospital since the weekend and doctors don't know how sure what I have. I'm in a lot of pain. Why come to ask how I'm doing if you don't really want to listen and if you know I'm in a lot of pain just to try take the chance to complain about YOUR problems? I have listened to you for way too long, even when I didn't want to because it was damaging my own mental health. I'm so done with this shit. Fuck you. If you want to pretend you care about me at least stop talking about yourself for two minutes, please.
I'm seconding the anon who said you should make it a deliberate act to rip the paper. Even if you don't save your journal, you still get the mental benefits of journaling. I really suggest you look it up. Buying and using a journal daily has really helped me.
I've been off my antidepressant for a week or so. I wish I could kill myself, I feel like total shit and like my life will never work out, and that once again even if I do everything in my power to make life happens, nothing good will happen or work because in the end, I guess it doesn't depend only on me and the other party doesn't seem like can do much.
Two of my oldest and closest friends seriously betrayed my trust and privacy a short while back, we used to do everything together and I don't have any other close friends IRL.
I'm upset because they haven't apologised since and I don't want to be the one to reach out again, but I miss what we used to do.
I'm also disgusted with them still, I just wish it never happened. I want close friend(s).
I installed Linux recently since my old HD died and reinstalling Windows wasn't an option, like the service reps lead me through a lot of hoops, hurr jus purchase Windows 10. It was nice the first week but now I'm running into constant complications. And I'm getting more than a bit frustrated because all these terms IDFK keep popping up.
They also have me feeling guilty because I want to be a programmer? Next semester I'll be taking an intro to comp sci course, yet here I am. Struggling with this. Fuck.
I hope you’re feeling better today anon. What antidepressant were you on? Why did you come off them, if you don’t mind me asking.
dont worry anon im doing a computer field major too next sem, you'll learn this stuff in time and dont feel guilty for being passionate about this shit or not knowing everything before even going into it. This shit is for a job and making it your hobby too isnt a requirement.
for NOT being passionate about this shit*
>every time i exercise i lose period for any amount of time unless i go back to eating like shit and doing nothing. yay!
>get back into exercising. 6 days a week. normally over an hour a day. sometimes 3+ hours
>happened again, period is gone for a week so far
>pms symptoms and during period symptoms but WITHOUT THE PERIOD, bloating, weight stalling, mood swings, acne, and its getting progressively worse with muscle tiredness and muscle twitching, itchiness but STILL NO PERIOD
>last time this went on for almost a month before i gave in and started eating sweets and doing nothing just to make my period appear
idk what to do lads. im in pain..
I was just listening to some people discussing artificial wombs and was actually surprised when they didn't mention killing off all women, instead talking about how it will help with premature births.
If this isn't a sign that I've been filling my head too much with what misogynists have to say I don't know what is. I've forgotten that many normal people don't actually care.
being ugly kinda sucks
being ugly and lazy? extra suckage
if i could ask god for one (1) gift it'd be the gift of self control / hard-work / whatever the term is. hate my lazy ass
>>6538>>6538>taking that conversation literally and not for the venting shits and giggles.
Male in the discord spotted.
I'm not in the discord, I was actually listening to a podcast. I'm also a girl.
I was talking about how I usually see MGTOW/redpillers always speak of artificial wombs as some sort of hope for an all male society or whatever. I just became accustomed to those two topics being so closely connected.
Oh, and samefag but I forgot to add this to clarify my stance, but it was a real relief to not hear woman hate brought up!
lolcow is fucking down… AGAIN
friendly reminder that you don't need to type sage here, you can mark the Sage box in the options.
My budgie who i loved just died and i cant stop crying she was so lovely and friendly and loved to be with me, even my cat adored her, and just a week ago she was flying around singing but a few days ago she got really ill but i thought shed make it at least until the vet wasnt on vacation, but fuck. Im almost sure she had PBFD since she showed almost all the symtomps so the odds of survival were minimal but still i had so much hope.
I am so heartbroken.
I’m so sorry anon. I have cockatiels, little birds can be so full of love and affection. I’m sure you gave her the greatest of lives, she must have loved you very much.
I was worried about the bf because for the last three days I saw him being online really late at night, and he works in the morning. Asked him what was up with that and if everything is okay. He got a bit defensive, but said he had no idea why that happened or how. Well…the last two days it didn't happen, not once.
I believe that apps can give a false online status and I don't think he lied about it. We're in a weird spot relationship wise at the moment so I'm just finding it amusing (instead of panicking or being jealous) that I could be right and that I caught him
i feel so stupid.
i've actually fucked around and formed a crush on a foreign celebrity. goddamn.
though i suppose this is better than pining after some scummy dude irl
you fucked around with said celebrity?
My friends suck. I'm so envious of people who have nice friends who they go to parties with and are close with and laugh with. I hear them in their apartments cracking up and having parties when I'm walking my dog at night. I envy seeing youtube videos of people with their friends at conventions having a blast. People with friends who go to a cabin for the weekend, large groups to go camping and on road trips with, etc.
Instead i have friends who drop off the face of the earth when they get a boyfriend, then don't invite me to their wedding or baby shower. Friends who are catty as fuck and if you say they're being dramatic they'll drop you. Friends who are too scared to talk to men, so we have no guys in our friend groups. Friends who say "it's 8pm I gotta go soon." Friends who want to hang out, then expect you to do all the talking. Friends who move across the state then don't talk to you ever again. Friends who are pathological liars and hypocrites and don't have any hobbies.
My bf has tons of friends who he's had crazy experiences with and has traveled the world with. I'm so envious of that. if we ever get married, it's going to be like five groomsmen on his side and no bridesmaids on mine. the thought of that makes me want to die.
I once traveled with friends, but it was just so boring. All they want to do is talk about their issues and take selfies. Then again, I also wonder if maybe I'M the boring one, and how the fuck do I be less boring? I have no idea.
Where in the fuck do people find cool friends? Is it even possible when you're as old as I am (27)?
You made her life enjoyable. You have great memories that live on.
its hard to get new friends, im on that journey myself.
you could try taking a random class in something like pottery or candle making. or go to a single or partner dance class then try going to social dances with your bf or any other kind of athletic class things with lots of women like yoga or netball
Thank you, kind anons. Your words cheered me up after a few rough days.
Take care, how are you feeling now?
Better, i still cannot see pics or vids of her without crying but my cat has been being extra sweet to me these past few days so it really helped me feel better.
Thank you for your kindness in asking, you are really sweet anon.
It’s okay to get emotional when seeing pictures and videos of her, one day you’ll look back at them and remember how much joy she brought to you, and how much you brought to her. <3 take it easy, grief comes with so many emotions.
I hate that I’m not normal looking, it’s all I think about. I don’t even ask to be attractive or cute, although that would be nice. People have straight up mistaken me for a man before, I have masculine features and it sucks so bad. My friends say I’m pretty, but I know they’re just being nice. And I think people think skinny(like me)=automatically pretty. I’ve tried everything to look more feminine. My hair is curly and impossible to manage. When I wear it down I look like a dude with long hair, it’s horrible.
Unexpectedly, I have a boyfriend, but he only likes me because I never talk back to him and I’m submissive, plus I spoil the hell out of him. I hate that cute/normal girls have their man spoil them instead, and they can be strong, opinionated women and their bfs will love it because they’re cute.
My only option is plastic surgery, but I can’t even afford that.
i'm sorry anon, i hope you make peace with it. you're only given one face so it's not worth obsessing over its structure, though it's true that plastic surgery can do some big things.
Would it be unethical to investigate whether my (LDR) boyfriend is cheating on me by talking to a person I'm concerned that he may be cheating with? Like
>contact "the other woman" on social media from an alt, make conversation over shared interests
>casually ask one day about sexual/relationship history, and if she's involved with any guy
>if she says "yes", basically play 20 questions and see if the guy in question is my boyfriend, taking screencaps the whole time (smoking gun would be a photo, but that'd be hard to acquire without a lot of prior trust-building)
>if it is him, say something like "Well, he has a girlfriend"
>confront boyfriend and dump him
>cut off all contact with both parties
>if it's not him, let it be (bonus: I also just made a friend, if from dubious circumstances, and I can get her to keep watch for me since I know she spends time with him IRL)
This idea just popped into mind, and I'm trying to weigh the good versus bad of it. I'm also considering looking for someone else to do it because I'm not sure I trust myself to suspend my emotions long enough to build a relationship with the other girl.
way too much work over a possibly scummy guy imo. def not worth it. better ask him directly and hope he confesses or slips up soon so you can get rid of him.
I love my boyfriend and our relationship is pretty great, but I often think about breaking up with him because I think things could be BETTER.
It's not my ideal relationship, and when I think "oh, no one ever really finds their IDEAL," I'm presented with like 500 people on Reddit who say they found the most perfect person for them on earth.
I love him, but he doesn't make me laugh very much. We can't talk about politics because it makes him get really angry, and the only time we ever go on dates anymore is when it's me initiating it and paying for it. He's also not dominate in bed which is something I feel like I need rn.
I'm 27 and want to have kids one day, we share the same future goals, but I just don't known if I'm going to be happy like this. At the same time, I don't think I'm ever going to find "the one" out there at this age. I feel like I'm settling, and I don't know if I should or not.
What gives you the impression he's cheating on you with them?
You could also ask her directly, "hey, are you seeing x?".
Little things. Once, I asked to see the messages they exchanged (he'd asked me to do similar things in the past) and he insisted he couldn't because it was too personal. We nearly broke up over it.
He used to talk to me about the stuff they'd do together, but one day after he hung out with her, he just stopped almost completely and now only mentions small things.
He said he told her about me, so I'm worried that flat out asking her if she's seeing him won't work. She might figure it's me and deny everything if I don't establish a sense of security with her. >>6698
I want to trust and believe in him, but this is gnawing at my mind. I need to know, and if it's happening, I need proof so I can put it to rest in my mind and walk away.
If he's cheating, I doubt he'd ever confess because he "values" me in a weird way, and I don't know what I can ask him that could make him slip up and expose himself.
>>6701>he insisted he couldn't because it was too personal
red flag>He said he told her about me
Could be a lie
My ex said the same things and lo and behold I found a message from his ex saying "I've been dreaming about you all week" not a day after he had returned from spending a week at his old place by himself to "take care of his cat" and was offline suspiciously often. Then I got dumped and he ran straight to her.
Oh and>I doubt he'd ever confess because he "values" me in a weird way
He doesn't value you, he's just a pussy who can't own up to his actions. There's way better guys out there.
I'm studying abroad in Tokyo and so far, not a single guy has shown interest in me. I'm really disappointed and was hoping that this would be the time for me to turn things around in a new place. I used to dress really poorly with no makeup and am starting to take care of myself more. Even with my improved looks nobody has noticed me. I feel ugly and unwanted, like all of my effort is for nothing.
Well, that's not entirely true, during our orientation events we were put into groups for a campus tour. This one guy basically kept staring at me, getting close to me, making eye contact, etc. I even tried to talk to him after he asked a question to our tour guide (I answered it instead) but I was REALLY nervous and my answer came out super quiet. He couldn't hear me and asked me to repeat myself, then didn't follow up. I was pretty embarrassed, but he still persisted in his other behavior after. Still he didn't talk to me though and I forgot about it .
Anyway like a month later anytime he sees me he stares right at me, making direct eye contact. But he still won't talk to me? It's kind of unnerving.. I don't know if he's just some weirdo or he is shy or what? Then I thought he was kind of cute, he looked kind of like a robot but not as ugly.. he had a really soft voice. Still he didn't actually talk to me and now I don't know if I'm attracted to him. I'm not sure whether to be creeped out or to do something…? This is just more things for me to stress out about.
I still don't have many friends. You'd think that the girls that study abroad in Japan would be more weeby and stuff but most are normal and can tell that I'm kind of awkward. They don't really include me in anything. Actually, one girl invited me out to go drinking with her and a few of her friends (who are mostly guys..) but I'm not really sure about that. I don't really like drinking or bars or any of that stuff and I get "player" vibes from her guy friends. I've managed to make other friends but I don't think they like me very much. They talk to me at school but flake out whenever I suggest doing something together outside of school. Now it's Golden Week and I don't really have anyone to do anything with.
I'm still plagued by my social problems from back home.. looks like nothing's changed.
You gotta initiate. Sitting back isn't working for you, so approach them instead!
>>6706>I don't really like drinking or bars or any of that stuff
Well thats a big problem in a place like Japan where most socialization is while drinking at a bar/izakaya/karaoke.
Why should I? It's not my job as the girl to do that. I'm too shy anyway. I don't think it's going to happen.>>6709
Well I could just go and not drink but I'd feel really uncomfortable around them.
>>6711>It's not my job as the girl to do that.
It's 2018 and you still think like that? Lmao.>gets offered a solution>doesn't take it, keeps whining
Stay single I guess? Japanese men are known to be shy, why are you so shocked that nobody wants to approach you? Did you think people would fawn over you just because you're a foreigner?
First of all, he's white. Second of all I already tried talking to him if you bothered to read my post. He ignored me or spaghetti'd out. There's no excuse. Girls have no obligation to approach guys, get over it. You sound like a /r9k/ sperg.
…. and guys also do not have an obligation to approach you either. It's 2018! Either bitch about him not being yours or suck it up and ask him out. Get a grip! Don't bitch about something that you yourself can do!
>>6715>I'm the /r9k/ sperg for saying you should approach a guy and not care about gender roles>but you aren't for thinking it's a guy's "job" to court the fair maiden
>>6712>Did you think people would fawn over you just because you're a foreigner?
Does that not happen in Japan? Serious question.
I have three weeks of paid holidays, two in June and one in August. I already planned a trip for August with a friend. But I'm looking for ideas for June and I'm hesitating between specific places that I'm interested in since a long time ago. But I don't have anyone who could go anywhere with me yet because everybody was supposed to be busy with something in June.
So I asked my friends if they had plans anyway and if they want to spend weekends somewhere because I don't want to spend my first holidays since a decade ago alone in a city I've never been to. And literally the only one who answered just keeps telling me that she could ask her friends (I don't know them) to let me sleep for a week at their houses in places I don't know and don't care about.
Not to sound ungrateful but I wanted to have a week of holidays in June to celebrate my birthday with friends for a long time and they were supposed to plan things ahead so I don't want to go somewhere I don't care about to stay with someone I don't know and don't trust yet. My other friends have been avoiding the subject instead of telling me they definitely can't go anywhere.
I am so annoyed my job doesn't pay much. I love the place but staying there seems impossible in the long run. I can hardly support myself. I hate this.
I mean initiate directly. If you're stuck on 'the man must do this' then say "wanna ask me to coffee?" or something. But I can see why guys don't wanna come up to you tbh.
>get prescribed zoloft
>feeling good and optimistic all day dispite dizziness
>reads zoloft tumblr tag
>impending doom trickles down my being
What the fuck I hate tumblr, they butcher everything from Aggretsuko to mental illness.
>check up on crush from last year
>used to be cute lanklet, 100lbs
>kind of dumb/normie tier nerd but I'm into that
>weighs 160 and is a gym bro now
>has a fug gf and acts as if they're in love despite dating for 1 month
Fucking gross, all of it. I know I'm just being mean and taking my romantic frustrations out on a man who doesn't know I exist but I hate it.
Why can't I get my skinny, useless dream boyfriend? They either destroy themselves or fuck me off after talking one(1) time.
And, yes, I do know it's my fault and I fucking hate myself. Even if I look okay and have a bright, money filled future I'll never stop being a hate-filled bitch. Which just causes me to isolate myself so I meet even less boys! FUCK!
>inb4 you sound like an incel
I know, girls. I know. I also know men don't exist for my pleasure, etc. etc. Just venting.
>be my boyfriend
>have a black girlfriend (me)
>also befriend and defend some guy who constantly racebaits, openly admits he hates black people and wants them all to die, "wouldn't hesitate to shoot them on sight", is homophobic, etc
>after the friend group falls out and then re-emerges, this same guy tells a girl who's a rape victim that he hopes she gets raped again
>my boyfriend, knowing all of this (and that I was also molested when I was younger): "Uhh that's just his free speech I'm gonna give him a second chance. And besides, he couldn't be serious, no one really wants to kill all black people"
>ask him if he wants a link to Stormfront or literally any anti-black website
>he ignores me and repeats himself on giving him a second chance and says something about cutting him off if he gets "annoying" (as if he's not already more than just "annoying" to anyone except those who secretly agree with him)
I do not understand, and I think it's time to go. He eventually stopped defending him, but the fact that this was even an argument is just fucking with me really, really badly. He has no deep history or whatever with this guy that would justify it even a little, either.
tell your boyfriend he needs to grow some balls, if he has a black girlfriend he should stop that guy and make him be respectful at least when he is around.
It sounds like he doesn't respect you to be honest if he lets his friend talk that way. Like his friend isn't explicitly naming you, but he might as well be when he says that shit about people who share the same experiences as you.
ditch him, also are you edating? i can only imagine a situation this ridiculous happening online
Went out with some guy from OKC, it sucked so bad.
>say to meet at x
>retard was too lazy to look up where it is
>says he would have taken the ferry if he knew(retard)
>asks me to send location
>I send and he says he can't open it cause he's driving
>he gets annoyed
>we eat and sit on the wharf
>I wanna go soon and tolerate him so, so he tries making a move and kissing me
>I get up and say okay I'm going now
>he's like come on!
>today he tells me my behaviour was disgusting
Lmao i hope he kills himself.
I'm so tired of having this fucking social anxiety ruining my life.
Every time i think i have made friends or found some possible acquaintances i end up feeling like shit because i feel like i am annoying them every time i open my mouth and i'm "that bitch", it's making me feel miserable and wanting me to stay isolated for the rest of my life so i stop being a dead weight on people.
I join discords, talk for a while and stop talking because i feel everyone wants me gone or finds me annoying, even when i know it's very probable it's not like this i can't help but feel like this.
I wish i wasn't like this, but my whole life I've always suffered rejection and trashing me behind my back from all the friends i had, so i just can't help but feel like a hindrance that needs to shut up and stop annoying people.
I'll talk to people normally and a while later feel like crying because i feel like i was annoying them and made a fool of myself, even if the conversation flowed normally.
I try so hard to stop these thoughts, but they are ruining all my chances at a normal life and i hate it so much.
Found your problem
>>6797>implying that using a widely used reaction image on imageboards on an actual imageboard means anything or shows anything about the poster
nonsense. I recognize the picture but i didn't know his name, I could have used it too. stop being a cunt to anon.
Have you tried to talk one-on-one with other people instead? There is a friend finder thread on /b/ if you want to and I think that's gonna improve your social skills. Also this is gonna sound really stupid but if you want to get over your irrational insecurity you have to get direct feedback from the people you're talking with. You can try to ask them subtly what do they think of you.
I really appreciate the advice but the thing is, there lies my problem, even when people tell me explicitly they like me or enjoy my company i simply cannot believe it, no matter how much they reassure me, which is what fucks with me.
I tried friend finder threads before on lolcow and in my experience they don't work very well. I think i have no problem communicating, as i said, i can follow a conversation pretty normally (or i think i do) and i'm very socially aware and aware of what i say.
My problem lies in believeing everyone hates me secretly thanks to my past experiences with friendships, which makes me build walls eventually and fuck it up.
I feel so pathetic being like this but I get so exhausted with social interactions that I can't make friends, let alone get a girlfriend. It's like I really fucking want the deep connection with someone and the physical/emotional closeness but I have no energy to talk and get to know people. Which is kind of a neccessary step so I keep trying but I always end up getting tired of endless conversations that I don't even know are gonna be worth it… idk if it sounds fucking stupid and selfish but I wish there was a way to know beforehand that talking to someone will lead anywhere. Why am I like this. I want friends. And I want a girlfriend goddamnit.
(I mean online, I'm even more socially retarded irl)
there are lots of things laid out for me to eat, but everything is so bitter. i want something sweet to taste.
>>6816>let alone get a girlfriend
You can sit here?
This just in, bisexuals and lesbians no longer exist.
why do I keep stressing myself out over things that have nothing to do with me and that I could just completely ignore, drop and forget? Fuck.
being socially isolated for so long has driven me insane and made me a horrible person
i want a guy to cuddle me. i want to feel a guy's physical warmth against me. im so bored and lonely
I've been procrastinating/getting distracted so much recently to the point where it's worriesome, it just seems that i lost all my will to do anything.
Can't even watch a tv episode without stopping midway (or every ten minutes) to do something else, fuck, i can't even read a whole page off a book without stopping cause my brain decided i need to wash the whole house (which then i procrastinate on too) or something.
It's like my brain doesn't even know how to do long tasks anymore and it's fucking me up.
I don't wanna be dramatic so i don't think it's doctor worthy, but it's making me feel like shit and like i'm becoming useless.
>>6844>I don't wanna be dramatic so i don't think it's doctor worthy
I'm not a psychologist but you sound kinda like people I know who have ADD.
You could be doing yourself a lot of favours by seeing a doctor.
Every single time I'm in a relationship I always look to make new friends with common interests (these friendships never last long tbh I'm terrible at keeping friends); I meet random strangers from multiple communities or boards, if I "click" with these guys/girls I end up feeling super horny and erp/sext with them for hours, but only once then never again.
It's addictive, it makes me feel alive but also shitty for "cheating", only happens when I'm in a relationship.
I've been single for years now, and I don't want it to happen again with any future relationship, I fear I will end up doing it again.
I wish I could off myself
i hate eating and i love eating and i dread meal times because they make me so nervous and afraid. everything in my life is such a drag, and now even food is awful even though it tastes so good. i'm just not allowed to feel good things, when will this stop?
why do i exist?
i'm ugly with a bad personality. my parents are poor. i'm always making mistakes. there's absolutely nothing i'm naturally gifted at aside from wasting my time. i don't think i'm that smart, i may be an actual retard. even if i do have average intelligence i'm too lazy to do anything worthwhile.
to make matters worse there are tons of people like me out there. none of us are special. we're all just horrible empty people.
i really do wish i'd just never been born. wish i was brave enough to grab the busted shotgun in the closet and just end it. honestly, who would miss me?
it's all so depressing. there's never anything to look forward to aside from shitposting and movies. why is it so miserable?
if i could have one solid week in my life in that i wasn't worrying about anything i'd be happy.
also >inb4 are you doing anything to improve your situation
i enrolled in (community) college. i'm planning to go for a hard science and make some money…i got straight a's this semester but the classes were easier than my ap courses in f*cking highschool. but it looks like i'll be turning in my financial aid shit later than i should because of a dumbb slip up. it's just so bad. what if i don't get the money i need?
i'm just tired of the constant difficulties. i know life is hard and i could have it a lot worse but fuck. it's just so bad every day
): and everything is always, always my fault so who do i have to blame but myself? i wish they'd never had me
Someone at work actually tried to be my friend for once, only I let anxiety get in the way and ruin everything like usual. We talked for a bit and exchanged numbers and made plans to get coffee together but at the last minute I started to feel really anxious and told an obvious lie to get out of it.
I was so happy at first that I'd maybe have a chance to make a friend for the first time in several years but I just can't help but push everyone as far away from me as possible.
I agree with >>6888 although I think just being like "yooo i can make it now if you still can?" in a text is usually a cool way to do things.
Feelings of anxiety and depression are normal but when they prevent you from moving towards your values and goals i.e social life (a common value/goal people have) it can be a sign you need to just sit and be like wow okay I need to address how I deal with these problems.
A good technique I learnt is to imagine the feelings as a stupid character (idk why but for some reason my suicidal thoughts I picture as kuriboh from yu-gi-oh LOL, for example), and imagine it kinda pinging around inside you REEEEing. Then you kinda inhale, as you do imagine a balloon of air kinda going around them, and everytime you breathe in it gets bigger. This allows you acknowledge its there, but give it it's own breathing space outside of your thoughts etc.
Obviously you'll have to do it a few times when you're by yourself/able to practice it but once you get the hang of it, (or even maybe you'll look up other techniques??) you feel less ARGH in anxiety etc situations.
Sorry for therapost but like… man I really feel for you. Wish I could give you a hug. Your anxiety sounds bad and I just want you to know it's okay and you 100% have the power to find ways around it.
how do you get over the fact that your boyfriend was a manslut before he met you and how to get over the fear that he'll leave you for any man, woman, or transperson if he desires?
asking for science
I will be straight to the point here: if you have been trying to get over it for a while, and it hasn't worked, he's not for you. And it's not your fault. Nothing and no one that steals your peace of mind is worth it, even if it's not his fault. I suggest giving yourself a month or so to try to get over it the last time, and if it doesn't work, leave him. It's hard, I know, but it's the best for you.
I was the poster above.
I was talking with >>6890
i love my parents.
so i'm sorry they got stuck with me. i can deal. with being ugly and unpleasant but this stupidity is too much
just learned about it last month and i ended up learning more over time than i was comfortble with, i try and take it one day at a time but some days are harder than others
thanks for the advice tho it means a lot
I'm sure they love you too; how unpleasant and stupid could you possibly be?
Surely not enough to justify feeling like they're stuck with you.
>think about how to fix problems in life
>think about how life problems have affected me
>get too sad to get out of bed, much less fix entire life
pretty sick of this feel tbh
i feel so depressed. my eating disorder is out of control, i am always broke, can't find a better job and i can't stand living where i am, dealing with the same angry people all the time. i really wish i could die.
Does anyone else get suicidal on their period? It's especially bad for me this time.
Yep, happens to me too, and it gets really
bad most times.
The one person who is my true friend, who I can confide in, who I know throughly, who cares for me in a way I've never cared for before, has gallstones. That hardly sounds serious, but they've had jaundice and dark urine along with the sharp pains so I can't help but be frightened that it's gallbladder cancer. Sorry for how dramatic this sounds, it's just that I am freaking out and I don't want to lose them, I can't. I love them so much. Hopefully it's just gallstone complications and I'm overthinking all of this. I feel powerless in this situation and I just want to hold their hand and rub it while letting them know I care about them because right now, they've been told to go to the ER and they are all alone. I hate this.
I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I am 26, unemployed, live at home and lack any real skills. I've worked in total for about 18 months in various jobs since I graduated 5 years ago and each month makes me more despondent about getting my life on track. I've become permanently nocturnal because it's the only way I feel like I have any privacy, since I live in a small apartment and both my parents are unemployed too.
In the fall I'll be attending a university I REALLY don't want to go to. My top choices basically rejected me leaving me with verrrry little choices. Thinking about this makes me so sad because I keep comparing what I could've had to where I currently am now. Plus everyone I know who attends this university reaaaaaaallly are not my type of crowd and people I can't see myself meshing with well in the future. The people at the university I wanted to go to are a lot more like me. In addition to my woes about the people attending the school, the location and lack of "prestige" the school has bothers me. Every time I tell someone where I'm going to school they never congratulate me or compliment the school but rather point out something negative. This has really killed my work ethic and self esteem. Whenever I think about my current dilemma I feel so numb and stuck because I feel like I have no control in my decision, and no excitement about the future. Everyone around me seems so content with their life and current decisions but I'm in a completely opposite emotional state rn. I've had better grades than those who got into the schools I wanted to get into but here I am… at the lowest tier. I know I can transfer in the future but to go through that whole process again seems like hell and I'm really really really giving up.
Sorry if this is all kinda jumbled and messy but my minds a mess rn and i feel so distraught about the future. Plus I didn't check this for spelling/grammatical errors
Sorry about that anon, but you shouldn't let that get in the way of your future and success.
Remember that university is a temporary thing. Even if the school you're at is not the most prestigious, what you make of it is what matters most.
Since you don't like people you already know attending, find others to hang out with! Participate in an organization or opportunity that you are interested in. Get a part time job, do other fun stuff outside school. Don't let what others say demotivate you because you're in charge of your future.
I transferred after dropping out and had a hard time connecting to people again. I wish I had just sucked it up and finished so I could move on to the rest of my life more quickly.
Most of all, remember that education is important. Get that degree and do something you really care about with your life, people don't tend to fixate on where they went to school after they leave. They have jobs and other things in life to think about.
Best of luck to your friend and you.
Thanks for the support anon. I'm considering transferring (I think I mentioned that in previous post) but what I'm most worried for is losing connections I could've made if I stayed at a school for the full amount of time. Is transferring to a completely different school worth it when everybody has already all known each other for a year+? Will I even be able to make connections? These are just more of the things I'm worried about.
What do you want to do with your life?
get your self together man. move to philly, buy a loft, start a noise band. get six or seven roommates, eat hummus with them. book some gigs. paint. smoke cloves. listen to animal collective… start some type of salsa company?
Like I said the first time, I transferred and found it hard to connect with others. I think it has a lot to do with the school that you are going to though, and how much work you're willing to put in. Finding connections is not impossible, but it requires effort compared to just socializing with the people you matriculated with.
If you are concerned about that, look into transfer support services like student organizations or events hosted for transfer students.
You can do it!
i don't care
about romantic relationships
stop. bothering me
i accidentally caused my bf to get fired when i first met him for weird personal reasons and now its been almost a year and he still cant find a job
hes intelligent, has a degree in history and an experienced teacher/aide and nobody will hire him
no school, no bank, hell not even home depo or random construction jobs will take him
my family has connections to other jobs and will probably hire him just because hes my boyfriend but whenever i offer him help (or when anyone does) he refuses it
hes struggling to feed himself and get gas and im just worried hes going to kill himself if he doesnt get a job soon
is there anything i can do besides giving him money and food when he needs it even if he rejects? this all feels like its my fault
I don't know, I guess just to be left alone. There's no job I want, I don't care about clothes or expensive things, I don't drink or smoke or have sex. I'm just not drawn to anything and nothing gives me any real pleasure.>>6973
That sounds entirely awful.
sage for weird background story
its probably lolcow worthy but i met him as a teachers aide in high school and he got fired the last day of school because of some beef between the principal, right after graduation we started dating
its probably a little creepy but im really happy with him and wouldnt want anyone else, hes in his late 20s and i just turned 20 last week so i dont feel weird about the age difference or whatever
but yeah even if he says no i'm going to contact my family to help him out, will try what you suggested
i just cant have him being depressed over an issue that can be solved easily if he accepted help
i feel like my anxiety levels have shot up to 2000% and i dunno how to deal with it.
>drink too much
>get stomache bug
>fish quiche given to you was off
Been a shit week
Just reading that made me vomit
it's kind of cute if you imagine someone saying it with a spanish accent because the words rhyme
I found out someone I know who's very prominent in a friend group has been calling me a "stupid bitch" behind my back, and I don't really know why.
I've never gotten into any huge arguments with any of those people, and this particular person is civil to my face, so I just don't get it. Maybe it really is just that he finds me unintelligent and it irritates him just seeing me around, but 1) I've never had a shining moment in the group where I truly showed my ass and exposed myself as an idiot, and 2) I barely even talk to this person, since we have so little in common. We just sometimes chill in the same online venue and talk to some of the same people.
I'm wracking my brain trying to come up with an explanation for this person's vitriol, but I can't pinpoint anything specific I've said or done that could've earned their spite. Maybe because I have a high-pitched voice? Maybe any female they're not sexually attracted to, or haven't already monopolized in some way being a little too active in their space annoys them? I guess it doesn't matter, considering we don't actually talk. It'd worry me if he was spreading some poison to push me out of the group, but that hasn't happened yet (and in the first place, there's only a few people in it who I'd really consider friends). It's not as if I'm deeply affected by this, but out of curiosity, I'd like to at least understand.
Been a shit day. Fucking viri
How old is your friend? If they're young it's very likely to not be cancer. But if they have jaundice and dark urine the stones are probably not only in the gall bladder, but in the common bile duct, too. Also if it was cancer it probably wouldn't hurt.
Don't worry tho, they just need to have their gall bladder and the stones taken away and they'll be as good as new!
Thank you for your support anons, I really appreciate it. Their gallbladder was apparently so full of stones that it hadn't been working for a while at all. It was removed, but their liver enzymes are still high and increasing. They've been checked to see if there was stones in the bile ducts, but there aren't, so it's rather puzzling as to what could be causing their liver to still be so inflamed. They still have jaundice and dark urine, but hepatitis and liver scarring have been ruled out. I wish there were more answers, but I'm glad their liver surface isn't scarred.
Sorry if I went into too much detail, I find medicine fascinating. Thank you both for your support once again! It makes me feel better not having to worry about this alone.
That's really shitty. Likely they just have issue with you because you're a girl in that space. It happens. Hopefully it doesn't get you down too much
I just ended a friendship that started in 2013, a few minutes ago.
I wrote over 10,000 words on it on a few days ago, I have had an issue for 1.5 years and could never let the words out of my mouth or bare to even write them. I actually wrote it in hopes of posting my dilemma somewhere, but it turned into a way too long, poorly written and simply dull story of pain.
I was very upfront, rather than secretive and backstabby she got to see it coming openly.
When I gave her my last words and my goodbye before bed last night, I wanted to puke. Right now I am very close to crying and my chest is aching. It's still not as awful as having her in my life has made me feel.
I don't want friends ever again and am just going to stick to dating as my only relationship.
friends are hard. i'm going through a backstab situation currently myself. i don't have advice, just feel you.
relationships suck too tho. js
Sorry to hear that. It really sounds like you're going through a rough time. The end of good friendships can be pretty tough but I sincerely hope that time will help you n the end.
Still I would like to agree with >>7050
and bring up that relationships can also be difficult. It's really not good to depend on dating as your only source on intimacy/connection. A co-dependent romantic relationship is a nightmare to deal with. I would consider working on yourself but also trying to open up yourself to new connections outside of romantic relationships.
I wish I could wake my boyfriend because I miss him but he has something important in the morning and I don't want to be selfish. I love him so much.
What should I do regarding my friend situation anons? I have a friend that I havent talked to since last summer and randomly they came into my mind. I would say our last interaction didnt end on a good note.
>always difficult to make plans with her, would take her days, sometimes weeks to reply and would give short, half-hearted responses.
>when we do hang out she seems uninterested to have a conversation and would dwell on her depression or family problems.
>often times brings up a lot stuff I told her in confidence and would make me feel like shit, I never tell her to stop bringing it up so thats on me.
>after a while she became depressing to be around, I would still offer my shoulder for her to cry on, but thats all I became after a while.
>wasnt there for me emotionally lmao.
>on her insta she always posted her other friends and her having fun and going places, im never included.
>when I wanted to hang out she said she was always busy with work or school, got mad at me when I couldnt make time for her.
>our last interaction was I had to return something to her, it took 2 weeks to finally get a response from her as to when I should stop by her house.
>got fed up at that point, started to ignore her messages asking me whats wrong.
>last message was me wishing her happy birthday, with her reaponding a happy belated birthday to me, which was 3 months before hers saying that she "forgot"…
I know this may seem petty but idk what to do, we had our good moments but that was at the peek of our friendship, but as we grew distant she just kinda became…worse. i want to clear the air and make up by idk how to approach her without it seeming random.
Should I just let her go? Should I clear the air and make up? Is it even worth it?
Hey anon. I definitely empathize with your situation. From what I'm reading, I think it may be better to let her go. I believe you when you say you guys had good moments, but to me, it doesn't seem to neutralize all the mean things she did to you. It's okay to care about her, but to cut contact with her as well. I think that's one of the weirdest things about life that people have a hard time reconciling with – simultaneoulsy caring and yet doing NC are not mutually exclusive.
It is her loss that she lost a good friend and not yours. Good luck, anon.
Thank you anon, I really appreciate your kind words and advice, I know the answer seems kinda obvious but a second opinion is always nice! xoxo
My period came extremely late this month and I feel terrible. Dizzy, craving sweets and like shit in general. I wish I didn't have to go to work.
Today it's the first time i opened up about my bullying and lack of friends to my doctor so she could understand where my mental problems come from and i broke down and cried on her office to the point she had to give me a pill to calm me down. I felt so pathetic for breaking down like that, but after years of hiding what happened to me it felt kinda liberating to let it out for once but boy did it hurt.
She has referred me to a therapist and increased my dose of current meds, as well as forcing me to do some activities so i can meet people and i need report it back to her at the end of the month.
My problem with the last point is that i don't have enough money to join any kind of group and i'm feeling kind of lost right now because i don't wanna go back to her and say i didn't do anything, but i don't have enough money to actually do anything. I've looked up yoga classes, local groups, gyms, etc but i cannot afford any and there are no free classes near me, i've looked meetups near me and it's the same, you need to pay to join or they are sketchy. I'm thinking of going to some museums or stuff like that since they are mostly free or very cheap thanks to a card i have and it's something that interests me, but i don't know if that will give me an opportunity to meet people like she wants me to do.
I feel so lost as to what to do so i don't go back to her only to say how much of a failure i am.
I don't know your relationship with her or what she's like but maybe she will be understanding if you tell her the money situation.
It's corny but being nicer towards yourself is important or else it can keep you stuck in your problems. You actually looked and considered cheap alternatives, you didn't just get stoned and do nothing.
My first bf broke up with me after 6 months, two days after the surprise birthday party I've been organising for him since March.
He admitted that he thinks he can do much better than me, that he looks down on me and can't bring himself to find much of anything he likes about me or appreciate the things I do for him - all things I've been suspecting lately, so it's not a huge surprise. We're both decent-looking private university students soon to enter into high-earning fields, so it's not like he's dating down, but I have a good deal more social anxiety and a great deal less money & life experience which holds me back from being the person he wants. (Though he has depression and anger issues, & recently had to take a break from school due to playing MOBAs 15 hours a day and missing all his classes. So it's no huge loss either lmao)
The thing is, I thought we were going to spend the summer together, so I didn't make internship, career or travel plans. Now I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life for the next three months, since I'm 22 and about to graduate and can't afford to waste this much time rn. In the past few days I've been channeling my newly made free time into working out, eating healthy, starting a patio garden, renovating my mother's house, developing a new skincare routine, planning a road trip with friends, looking into study-abroad internship programs for next break, and making plans to further my digital art career. I've also been thinking about changing my look a bit as well as finding ways to work on my anxiety. I feel like I'm on the right track, but I'm worried that I won't be able to maintain this level of motivation. It's not fueled by a desire for revenge or to get him back - more the realization that I kind of expected him to help me change myself (He's a very outgoing, well-traveled person) but really the only person who can change me is me. I just hope this energy doesn't fade in like three days lol. Sorry and ty if you read all this <3
sounds like he did you a big favor
>very lonely and horny
>actually considering hitting up a male sub on /r9k/
Tell me this is a bad idea, smack some sense into my hypersexual khhv ass.
don't fucking do it. robots are more fucked up than you could possibly understand as a female.
t. robot(YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US)
i used to do this then i realized being called a reverse trap was bad for my mental health
Just curl up and cry for five hours like I do, like how the fuck is unending social isolation even lmao?!
I am so addicted to the internet, it's fucking pathetic. I think I use it to dissociate and just escape reality. FOR DAYS AT A TIME. I wasted this whole weekend when I have a fucking dissertation to be writing. I hate myself and have zero self-control. Now it's Sunday late afternoon and I have nothing to show for it. I need to walk to a cafe and get some writing done today but I'm probably too lazy. I'm a fucking joke.
Me too anon, but right now with online vintage shopping specifically (though a week ago it was only imageboards). Let's power through this!
>>7144>being called a reverse trap
yes, we can do it. :) Are you working on a dissertation, too? Or just relating to the internet addiction? It's so hard.
I did end up getting to a cafe to work for about 3 hours and got a decent amount done. I just need to get there earlier because I literally can't do anything at home. I need the social shame of people seeing my screen in public to keep working. Ugh.
c-can I join the club too, anons?
yes! internet addiction thread?
I'm so mad at myself right now.
I didn't check my ID so now that I actually needed it for something important (trying to get my first apartment) it expired without my notice.
This just means my plans get delayed and I don't know for how long.
I'll start getting a temporary ID tomorrow but this is an extra 10 bucks on top of the 30 I still have to pay which could have been prevented.
I don't even know if I'll be able to get a temporary one tomorrow or if I still have to wait a few days.
I was browsing the news and a guy raped a 4 month old baby and left her bleeding there to die in a road.
I want to die. This horrible world is terrible, I can't live here. Why do people do shit like this??
I want to kill myself.
>tfw painfully mediocre
>mouth breather, generally physically offputting
>stupid personality, not outgoing enough to be considered quirky and "out there" and not quiet enough to be considered shy, cute and introverted, literally just stupid
>no talent, what talent i have is completely blotted out by others' accomplishments
>mental state is literally hell
>no friends, acquaintances i have don't care about me
>too scared (and confused) to kms
Do any of you have these specific feels? I just want to not be alone
>>7183>tfw painfully mediocre
Yes>stupid personality, not outgoing enough to be considered quirky and "out there" and not quiet enough to be considered shy, cute and introverted
Yes>no talent, what talent i have is completely blotted out by others' accomplishments
Yes>mental state is literally hell
You're not alone, friend
Thank you anon. I know it sounds stupid but you made me feel better for a little while
I am glad, anon. I hope you feel even better today.
I'm all sorts of sad inside. I can't pretend it's alright you live with your ex-girlfriend. Even more insulting, it's such a weird situation to explain to people so both of you call each other siblings. No. You fucked your "sibling" and used to care about her in a specific way. It's even more insulting because of my sexual abuse background. I know you are poor and had no other place to go when you split up with her years ago, but you never tried to work two jobs instead of just one. I'm sick of being told I'm ugly and useless by her and I know she is cruel in that same way to you as well, but it hurts me too much that you just stand by and do nothing. I was young then so I decided to accept the situation, but it's been a few years and I'm sick of you telling me I don't care about you because I'm busy with school. You have no right to talk to me like that when you literally live in the same house as your ex and she lords her money over you. Get a grip. You waited through college and graduate school for your ex, but you're butthurt I'm a little busy because I have finals this week? Get real. I don't know what to do. I am very fond of you and I always found your company pleasant. But it is all coming to a head, and even though you say, even to her, that you'd choose me over her, your actions don't demonstrate that and don't even get me started on how having to "choose" that is fucked up in itself.
You deserve someone who makes a move for you. Glad you're realising she isn't good enough for you. Say goodbye before things get any more sour!
I should, but I suspect I'm going through a "split" (bpd-related) right now because of my stress from finals. I'm so dizzy. Realistically I'm probably going to beg him for forgiveness for all the freaked out texts I sent. It felt good to get those feelings out and it is so very nice of someone to care. Thank you, anon.
No matter what I never feel relaxed, just distracted.
I drank some coffee because I was feeling sluggish but oops now I'm just anxious and shitposting instead of doing work.
I am not very close with my dad.
Tonight when we were talking on the phone I started to cry and yell at him over something he did to me when I was 15.
My mom moved away forever that year and I had to live with my dad and grandpa after that. 2 days after she left, my grandpa and dad scolded me on how I looked. I walked into the kitchen and saw them both scowling at me so I tried to get away before I got in trouble for whatever it was. My grandpa said all sternly "Sit. Down.", my dad then screamed at me for 15 minutes about how fat I was and how fat my mother was. After his yelling was over he went to the fridge, grabbed some slimy bag because the two of them didn't believe in germs or something, and put a bunch of slimy rotten veggie mix on a plate and made me eat it. I didn't want to eat it because it had mold on it but I wasn't allowed to leave, so I basically made it into thousand island dressing soup to stomach it.
I told him this, and he said it never happened. He outright refused to believe he did that, and even said in this cheery voice "but grandpa liked you chunky like that!". I got even angrier and shouted over him how my grandpa caught me eating breakfast in the morning before school so he came up behind me and grabbed my belly with one hand and my tit with another and went "You're GROTESQUE!" as I was chewing my food. I was at the airport with my grandpa and he pointed at a fat person and said "YOU SEE, this is what me and your father are worried about you becoming!"
He was silent for a bit and then added "I don't remember that…."
I felt so upset and he doesn't even remember it. Why do parents do that? It wasn't until a few years ago I even got that upset about this, because how moronic and abusive and mean they were seemed so normal. I have walked around feeling ugly everywhere I went because of them. I used to struggle to eat in front of others, at work if we had some event with food I'd go without just to avoid being seen eating.
I just wanted to know what was going through his head and why he did that.
Unrelated but related I have never felt so thin and sexy in my adult life up until last week. My BMI is at 21ish and while I'd prefer it to be 19, it has still never been this low. When I became an adult I almost instantly stopped being obese or overweight but I've consistently weighed much more than what I am now. It's when I feel prettier than ever that I brought this up to him.
probably easier for him to pretend it didn't happen than own up to it and try to justify it. he knows it was awful. I'm sorry that happened, I hope you had some nice times with him to go with the bad at least. Fuck your grandpa though he's human garbage.
Although visiting misogyny-heavy places online has been largely detrimental to my mental health, it has at least proven to me that men do indeed feel romantic attraction.
Seeing men who scream about women being worthless holes turn around and admit they fantasize about hand-holding and cuddling gives me a bittersweet hope. If they feel this way, then well-adjusted men probably also do. I just had no idea that they actually enjoyed this shit, too.
Good to know that men are human after all. But now I want a bf more than ever before.
just go on /r9k/ and post your discord there. guaranteed replies from dozens of thirsty virgins. literally no matter how many others call you a roastie and warn other robots of your antics, you're still guaranteed to find a candidate. just pick out the one you like the most and get the others to buy you video games and movies.
Yeah he's "based" alright. He would fit right in with you people except that he despised unemployment and laziness.
Why has my post been removed? I wasn't aware that this was a safe space.
making fun of that wasn't funny, my dude. that's probably why it was removed. if you want to be edgyxd you have other imageboards that would gladly accept you.
I'm going to fail my dissertation and then won't be able to take the job I was offered I fucking hate myself so much write now. I have been having suicidal thoughts all day and they feel so, so good. I want to be done.
I can't even spell correctly, I'm honestly a fucking joke. Kill me.
You are not a joke and you will find a job, even though it may not be where you originally thought you'd work. I am sorry about your situation, sending as many good vibes your way as possible. your suicidal thoughts serve a purpose, but that doesn't mean you should act on them.
I know this isn't much of a help, but I only wanted to let you know that I care, whoever you are.
>>7219>I do not like places online where woman-hate is heavy, but here is one positive I extracted from my experience>"go to one of those places and date either a misogynist or a man who is comfortable associating himself with them"
Not even against the NEETdom, shyness, many being short, obsession with femdom, etc. All of those are positives. I just can't trust someone who is fine in a community filled with woman-hate, racism, and pedophilia. I can empathize with them and understand where their hatred stems, but an explanation is not an excuse.
I'd prefer a norman bf who doesn't know or care about this nonsense. Maybe even a bit of a """"Soy Boy."""""
Also >using men for money or material goods
I could never do that.
I booked an appointment with a new therapist and i'm so anxious of going because all my experiences with therapists till now have been so terrible.
I really hope this time she is the one that actually helps me even if it's only a little bit but i feel like puking every time i remember i need to go.
I hope everything goes well, anon-chan. I had a really bad experience with my previous psychiatrist before finding one that really listened to me and made me feel comfortable, so I know your pain.
Thank you, anon! I'm sorry that you also had to experience awful therapists, but seeing that you found a good one gives me hope the same can happen to me.
Maybe if you looked at your situation with more humor you wouldn't be so MAD about it. This goes especially for things that happened in the past - what's the point of crying and getting upset over it now? Also, your grandad is objectively hilarious.
I feel you. Bad experiences can be really off-putting but finding someone who is good for you helps ten-fold. Good luck! I hope she's the one.
I posted the grandpa story, honest that isn't my post.
Uh I feel pretty chill today not angry, but closure is important. That day I was 'off' and really emotional is all.
>>7219>and get the others to buy you video games and movies
Which would then just confirm all the claims they have heard about women. If they weren't bitter misogynist before, they will be after getting manipulated. Not only will you ruin the already broken guys for the rest of the lonely girls, the guy picked as best of the bunch will most likely hate you for manipulating other guys. Maybe they are bitter virgins because of snakes like you?
Give me the will to go outside so I can hang out.
I don't feel like driving.
nta but I'm sure it was a joke
Joke or not, there are people who really do that to others.
Leave him, get safe and remove him from your life. You deserve better.
Did my first session with her and she was wonderful and kind and listened to everything i had to say and she kept talking when she saw me being nervous/shy, she rec'ed i do group therapy for my anxiety which i'm anxious about (lol) but i will do it hopefully soon. She also said that she will call me to book me another visit after my first group therapy.
This is for any anons here who may feel like me (i.e will never find a good therapist cause every single one has been shit before it), if i found one, you can as well!
A discord server I was a member was deleted by the admin with no previous notice and that got me pretty bummed out.
I know it's because the server was almost dead but it had people I still was interested in and I didn't add anyone as friend beforehand so I lost all contact with them. Not to mention all the logs, completely lost.
The worst part: that happened months ago and I'm still not over it, I feel dumb for caring so much.
shit's hard, yo
Low self esteem
I can give you a longer list if you want.
While I agree with you I understand why some people are like that. Instead of getting frustrated with them I just wish they see the light someday.
Wouldn't say it's a specific relationship "strategy," but just a toxic dynamic is plays itself out countlessly.
It's difficult to see things any other way if you've endured abuse.
I'm going to a convention soon and I wanna make new friends but I don't know where to start. I left my old small group because there was drama and everything kind of just drifted apart and they made new groups. I don't really know how to do it all over again and I'm kinda scared yet eager to do something. Anyone go to conventions and know how to become social?
Okay look. It's a trap. When he keeps accusing you of things, it "convinces" both you and him that you're the bad one, allowing him to do horrible things without feeling guilty.
Also makes you stick with him and try your best to give in to his attitude and behavior, because he's the one complaining all the time.
You can and WILL find better.
This isn't going to change and he won't stop behaving this way.
You're not going to be happy in this kind of relationship, why let yourself suffer?
Why should you hurt yourself if you two break up?
I know from personal experience this kind of behavior only gets worse. It's hard to move on and it's hard to just leave, but you have to.
It's not worth it, and you deserve much better.
A relationship is supposed to be two people working together to make each other happy or at least comfy, and he's obviously in it only to use and hurt you.
Don't stay with him.
Remember people in costume love their character/series. If they're on their own or with a small group you should definitely talk to them about it! Especially if you recognise a niche or uncommon character.
I feel like people feel
they are obligated to say little and let you go, I've felt this despite wanting to chat more, so you should ask questions and if they're talkative, ask them to chat more and for their info / if theyre in any groups.
Good luck! Also, check the con facebook and look for groups and meetups to join.
Making your life revolve around him is pretty romantic, but he's taking advantage of it. For a relationship to work both of you HAVE to treat each other with respect and by what you describe about him, he really doesn't respect you at all.
The whole getting drunk and asking you if he can sleep with other girls is pretty crazy too.
Think about it that way - You put so much time, money, effort and emotions into this relationship and what came out of it?
Are you happy with how it's going now? Is he putting the same effort?
You try your best and do so much and he treats you badly, and barely does the same. You'd probably know better and have way more examples of this.
If there was anything about him that showed a chance for a good kind of change I wouldn't be bugging you so much, but from what you described and from my own personal experience, it seems like he would only do worse.
It really is a lot harder if you've been with him for so long, but it's still possible to move on.
Loneliness is tough but it can also be a good thing. You'll have plenty of time for yourself and you can take some "time off" and do things just for yourself.
You're right to be scared and worried. Most men out there are manipulative and horrible too, but that doesn't mean every single one of them out there is the same, and doesn't mean you have to settle for one of these. You just have to be careful once you do decide to date again and things should go ok, especially learning from a bad experience, but I don't think you should try to find someone else for a while after this.
Sorry for the long post and if I was a little rude, I just get really worried when I hear about these kind of relationships.
Every day feels the same
Everyone I know is depressed and no one seems to enjoy being an adult
General bad vibes, feeling useless. I was pretty lethargic today and got next to nothing done. Any tips from helpful anons about procrastination and making the most of your time/planning?
Write a list.
Need to do:
Want to do:
and pin it nearest where you spend most of your time (like your laptop). Do the easiest to complete and give it a satisfying red cross.
thanks anyan :3(No namefagging, please)
I too anxious to work on my dissertation and I've set aside this whole day to do it. I'm so scared of sending it off to my advisor when I'm done revising it – I'm just thinking of all the things he'll question. What if he finds some big, fundamental error? What if it's all been for nothing? This project is way too statistically advanced for me and I'm pissed that he thought I could do it and I'm pissed I didn't push for something less complicated.
I'm so scared. Fuck. :(
>I've revolved my life around this person, if they left everything would change and loneliness would take over, it's one of the worst feelings,
Ahhh your story worries me and I'm normally not phased by people's posts.
That loneliness goes away and you can become your own person. I swear.
Someone even made a comment exactly like this >>7308 to me, she was really frustrated with what I was telling her, and I really wish I listened to her and left then. It got 10 times worse eventually and became the most hellish nightmare.
It's just so possible, and you might be surprised just how strong and self sustaining you can be.
Even on the loneliest nights it isn't as awful as what being with him felt like. But sticking with people like this makes that awfulness become normal and makes true normalcy seem scary.
I really hope this isn't patronizing to you, I just really wish I was wise enough to make the right decision a long time ago. It's actually difficult to see someone write the exact same way and express these fears and feel stuck when they don't have to be.
>and men scare me
Sames. But you don't have to find someone immediately. You're still young.
And an anonymous person once said something like this
>when you first breakup, all the lights go out and you find yourself stuck in darkness and everything seems hopeless
>that person was like a flashlight in a system of caves called life and you were positive they were -the- path
>you walk around in the darkness feeling terrified and thinking how that path is permanently gone and you're trapped forever
>but eventually a new light appears from yourself and you begin to find there are dozens of paths and you aren't scared to walk them anymore
It helped so much in those first terribly suicidal weeks/months. You aren't alone and there are positive friendships and romances out there for you no matter how poorly socialized you think you are.
This isn't fruity positive platitudes, it's the truth.
if you're asking yourself these questions you are probably going to do just fine. you know that you have worked hard so it is reasonable to fear that you haven't.
good luck anon!
I'm just having an all around weird time lately. I've made a mess out of my relationships and just myself in general.
I have a somewhat abusive ex whom I still stupidly talk to and really need to just stop with for good. And I really do plan on cutting ties soon. I just need to grow some balls and do it.
Additionally, I had a sort of e-relationship with a guy whom I've actually met up with a couple times. Recently I honestly thought it was over because he had been really cold and distant and in a group chat we're both in he had said he'd made plans for a date soon, but yesterday and today he said he still likes a lot and that he still wants to move to where I am in a year, which is just overall confusing.
But of course, I had to go and make things even more complicated. Last week I was out with work colleagues and got talking to a colleague for the first time. A couple nights later and he asked me to sneak back to his place from a different drinks night with work. I agreed and it was honestly really nice. It was sorta more like being with a boyfriend than a hookup. We fell asleep cuddling, then he took me out to breakfast in the morning, and at breakfast he said he had something to confess. That he has a girl back in his home country, which he moved away from a year ago. I told him I didn't want anything more unless he sorted that out, but between that and him being 10 years older than me, my coworker, and my first actual hopkup I just don't really know how to feel about anything, everything just feels kinda weird? I'm honestly not as worried about him being my coworker, because we don't cross paths and I had literally never interacted with him, despite working in the same room.
I'm thinking what I have to do is end things with online guy, but I'm not really sure how to proceed with my coworker. I've had very, very few sexual relationships and I've never encountered a situation where I've been the other girl before. I think maybe if he sorts it out I'll consider something more casual, but I don't know. I think maybe for now I just need to end everything and be single for a while and sort out what I actually want.
Sorry for so much text just needed to get everything out there because I don't have anyone else I can dump this on right now lol
Have that manic feeling whether I'm not sure if everything will be alright or if I'm about to go off the edge.
Trying not to think too hard, but I'm not sure what to do with myself to distract or anything.
hang in there anon. Is there something you're looking forward to coming up? Like a movie release or event? Focus on that
People have no fucking self awareness and I’m sick of it. Everyone’s a whiny piss baby and then wonders why they’re alone.
This guy has been bombarding me with messages about how amazing and perfect I am and really long poetic speeches about how I deserve x y z blah blah. He then proceeds to tell me that he ordered something offline and it was wrong and he asked his mum for help and she wouldn’t help so he threw a hissy fit, threw the item away and screamed at the company
Absolutely wat dot jpg. Are you that much of a fucking baby you can’t fix something without crawling to your mother as a GROWN ASS ADULT. To then throw away the item and REEEE at people instead of just posting the item back for an exchange or refund like a normal person? I was kind of like “OHHHH, you’re one of THOSE” in my head but it’s insane how many people like this exist. God millennials are fucked. And in before he posts more statuses about he sad and lonely he is without realising it’s 200% his own fault.
Sorry for mega rant just need to get it off my chest somewhere. Fuck.
I should at least look for a job or think about going back to school, but I just want to absorb myself in all my hobbies and things I love. I don't know how people have the drive to actually go out and do things. Most people just settle with something that they aren't truly passionate about. They pour all this effort and time for a career they either hate or tolerate, and then retire when they're too old and decrepit to enjoy the small fortune they've amassed for all those years. Wish I could just go with the flow and just go with whatever makes money like the majority of the population does instead of being a dumb NEET.
My BF has been super insecure about his height lately to the point where he's kinda shut down. He's 5'10" i'm 5'11" it's literally never bothered him before until one of him gym friends said something. Now he keeps walking around the house in flip flops, that give him an extra inch of height, claiming his feet get cold. I want to tell him he's being dumb but at the same point I don't want to invalidate his feelings
Remind him that you love him and that there is nothing wrong with his height, tbh 5,10 is an average height for a guy, he shouldn't feel ashamed.
The flip flops thing is super cute, someone having self image issues has never seemed so adorable before.
Don't tell him that of course.
The insecurity is usually attached to some inability to attract a gf but he has one? He should get over it soon, his buddy sounds like an asshole.
I ate too much yesterday.
I've managed to recover from an eating disorder with help from no one but my boyfriend, this recovery has been going on for 3-4 years.. my mind set has been a lot better lately but I still have a lot of disordered thoughts.
I work out every day and eat healthily, count calories and make healthy choices 90% of the time but yesterday I ate too much at a family lunch and today I woke up very bloated and I can't help but want tor restrict and feel guilty even though I know I won't gain too much weight (if any) from a single day if I'm always consistent with my routine.
It's just hard
## incoherent rant incoming
has anyone else ever felt too dumb for their major?
i'm planning on going into computer science because i've always seen coding as this cool thing since like middle school. i remember being like 13 and decorating my chatango profile with copy pasted
html and my own messy structures made from following along from instructions off various live journels, and thinking "holy shit i feel so rad this is p cool"
but i'm also so so worried i'll choke in my intro to compsci course this fall & find out i'm too stupid for the material and no amount of studying will help…like i struggle with basic algebra how can i comprehend loops & shit? rn i can barely divide fractions kek
but really i've locked myself into this degree plan. if i don't go through with it i'll have to drop out or switch to something else which will negate my scholarship (and i'll have to drop out anyway my family is too poor for me to accure debt)…also i don't have any sliver of interest in anything else
it's so stressful and i'm terrified. it feels like i'm going to die. fuckfuckfuckfuck
The importance of STEM is this slow-to-die myth that started after WW2 when we needed to rebuild the world and got a boost in the 70's with the space race.
If you are truly passionate about it then you can't go wrong but if you think you will have an easy time getting good jobs then you are wrong.
STEM thrives on having its academic head showed as far up its academic ass as possible. You don't have to be affected by the lies of a bright future within STEM if you become a person who lies about a bright future within STEM.
That being said. If you think that: I don't mind being tricked because this is fun and this is my passion.
Then you are good.
>but yesterday I ate too much at a family lunch and today I woke up very bloated and I can't help but want tor restrict and feel guilty even though I know I won't gain too much weight (if any) from a single day if I'm always consistent with my routine.
Yeah it's hard.
It sounds like you have it all figured out though.
Honestly with the bloating and the feelings that follow, the "wait a week and see" thing people recommend for suicidal feelings helps, because usually your belly goes back to normal in 2 or 3 days.
see that's the thing, i don't know if i'm ""passionate"" about compsci. it seems cool, and versatile, like the english degree of stem if that makes any sense…i think i could learn a bunch of useful shit if i pursued this career, my issue is being too stupid to handle the material ):
it doesn't have to be fun or anything (if i end up rly enjoying it that'd be swell) i just need to get a good score in the class and understand what i'm doin'
Having a lot of social problems lately that just keep piling up and making me feel like shit.
I started a new job a few weeks ago and I'm having a hard time adjusting. I left my old job because it was irregular part-time hours and the work was shit, but my coworkers were awesome. I'm having a hard time fitting in socially at my new job and it's stressing me out. I cried in the bathroom last week during my lunch break.
My only close friend moved away to her home state, so now I have no girl friends to hang out with. We still text, but it's not the same. I don't know where to meet new people that won't flake on me or think I'm too weird.
To top it off, I find myself getting annoyed at my boyfriend recently for petty shit. We've been living together for a few months now, and it's generally been great and I love him lots, but I'm realizing how much more socially independent he is. He's always Snapchatting his work friends, hanging out irl, and he has a big group chat of his close friends on Instagram where they always DM each other. I guess I never really saw that when we weren't living together. He's not neglecting me or our time together, but I find myself getting jealous and petty when I see him having fun. I hate myself for that.
do you think all girls use tumblr?
don't be a cunt for no reason, this is a vent thread.
Well, it’s always worth a shot though. For the math part, just go to the tutoring they usually have students that’ll help you. I have a BS in CS myself, shitposting aside it isn’t easy but I’m sure you could do it friend.
I'm doing physics here cuz it was basically just what I was good at and my Mom wanted me to get a good paying job and expected too much from me… I regret it… I wish I'd done literature or something. I like learning but this is too hard for me. Python is the stuff that I like from it but even that is daunting. Sometimes I'm just so overwhelmed especially cuz this year I've had a lot of personal things going on and LOADS of lectures were cancelled cuz of strikes… I will get through it though
stay strong my lovelies
not hard enough that's for sure, it's not really about how hard you study, you have to study until you can do a mock paper and get a first… which is tough for a lot of modules and easy for others… I was just lazy and going through a bad time…
well, do your best anon <3
>was molested as a child
>made the mistake of telling people I thought I could trust, including a therapist
>had an argument with someone I told, they go and tell that person who molested me what I said, then my therapist also tells them, I message my therapist to tell them to please not give out my information because they put me in danger, this person was insane and breaking my things, instead therapist fowards them my messages
>I run away and try to commit suicide, go to mental hospital
>to this very day I feel so fucking awful and I doubt myself because I don't even know if it happened or if I'm an attention deprived whore trying to ruin someones life
>it makes me feel like shit and disgusted with myself, causing me to self harm everytime I flashback to this very day and I feel like I can't even tell anyone about it without being accused of being a liar, I just want 1 fucking person to believe me so I can get help, when social services came I had no choice but to tell them I was crazy and hallucinating and my family still guilts me about how im some awful hideous person because of how much money they had to spend for hospital bills
I know I'm going to kill myself soon anyway, I just can't handle this anymore, I'm going insane wondering if it even happened or not, I know it happened but did it? Was I crazy and hallucinating this throughout my life? Or am I just a big fat liar psycho who wants attention?
OMG what the fuck was wrong with that "therapist"?
Anon, you didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't your fault and yes you have the right to open up. You can do it here on anon if you ever need.
I personally feel suicidal too but I feel sad when people say they feel the same way. I know it feels like the end but I am wishing good things your way. I was abused too, and sometimes telling people the truth only hurts the victim even more because some can be harsh and uncaring.
please don't harm yourself :<
All the guy groups I go into online are really nasty and disrespectful to me and make jokes about beating me and it hurts a lot and I just figured out I can't hang out with guys in groups on the internet anymore but I'm such a loner IRL and there are rarely girls on the internet either… most the guys are so disrespectful they can't even stop when they know it's hurting me and some of their 'jokes' are really cruel. People I complain to tell me I just get off the internet since it's male dominated… but how can I when I have no friends? Isn't that just like asking a robot to go get irl friends… they can at least retreat to the internet but I have no one.
Not that I don't have far bigger problems, but it's the smaller things that really make you break when you have a lot going on, you know? I love you guys. Please let's don't ever let boys ruin this place.
You sound like a friend I have who went through a similar experience. Don't ever hurt yourself, you have to love yourself. And please open up to me or someone else. I will never judge you. My discord is Indigo#5724, God bless <3
Also I'd google a suicide hotline if you are ever feeling that way again, unless you tell them you are planning it then they can't put you in a hospital (at least that's how it is here). I love you. We love you.
I'm so tired of family drama, i just want it to be over.
I have this crazy ass person in my family who is making our lives living hell, yesterday he said the most spiteful and disgusting shit at my mother and grandmother, and not to me directly because i refuse to speak to him since he did something horrible to me, but also terrible shit about me, just the most horrible wretched shit.
I need to deal every fucking day with this bullshit, drama after drama after drama, i just feel like crying all the time and this shit isn't helping my depression get better, i'm thankful for the internet for distracting me, but i'm just so tired of it, i wish i had enough money to leave.
I honestly hope he would just die and stop tormenting my family.
I don't really know if this is the right thread to be posting this in, but I really need some advice from you lovely girls. I'm really at a loss for what to do.
I'm currently in a LDR relationship, and I don't know if I love my bf anymore. I have BPD, and we haven't been talking much, he's at work most of the day, or asleep. I'm a neet so I stay up very late to talk to him/spend time with him, but often lately I've been asleep during the few hours we have a chance to spend time together, or he's been out. I can't tell if I'm just splitting, or if I don't love him anymore. I find myself not thinking about him nearly as much as I used to, I don't light up like I did when he messages me. I don't miss him that much, and sometimes I dread talking to him. I used to give him every little detail about what was going on in my life, but I barely give him any details anymore. It isn't that I'm hiding something from him; I just don't think it's necessary to mention, I suppose. I still feel overwhelmingly in love with him sometimes but I feel like it's been weeks since I last felt that way.
Also, I've been thinking about and missing my (abusive), also LDR, ex a whole lot. He was abusive during the time we were together, but after we broke up (like almost 3 years ago) he was extremely sweet. He promised me things that are basically my dreams. Another thing is, we actually had plans to meet whereas me and my current BF don't/haven't. Am I being stupid for thinking I'm still in love with him? I feel like I want to pursue him again (even though I know that's an idiotic idea, you girls don't need to tell me).
Reading through my post, it certainly sounds like I don't love my BF anymore, but I don't know what the fuck is going on with how I feel about my ex, honestly. Any opinions or insight is really appreciated.
Big Suggest: Be alone for a while girl. Not in a lonely way, but focus on yourself, your friends, your family, your interests.
You're not being stupid for wanting something familiar, but you said it yourself, he treated you badly when you were together. Those "sweet" promises are lies.
I can't stop the thoughts of you talking to her. You said you were patient, you weren't instead you talked to her more. I am never going to be good enough, will I always be second far from your thoughts and heart. I patiently wait to know that I might have meant something to you. Please don't leave me out in the dark even if I won't be the one you give your love too.
I miss the old internet
I Miss The Old Internet
I MISS THE OLD INTERNET
I M I S S T H E O L D I N T E R N E T!!
When I was younger, it was the only place for me to retreat and be carefree and I still kind of rely on it for that. But the whole landscape changed so much. It's not easy, innocent fun anymore and it will never be like this again.
I know it's super overdramatic, but sometimes, when get reminded of how much it changed, it kind of feels like a friend died and you weren't even able to say goodbye.
Work out, and kick his butt, or maybe just buy a gun. Both?
I don't feel like I have the right to post my complaint on lolcow because I hardly ever go on there, so I will post it here: I wish they would make a board for all the inactive and old threads and would keep only the active ones on g, ot, snow and pt. When I open the catalogue there is a fuckton of threads, so it would help keep things tidier. I browse snow every now and then and it is really hard to get around it sometimes.
They should start deleting bad threads too instead of just locking them.
I still love him and I don't think I'll ever get over him.
My ex is the type of person who wants to show "HOW GOOD I AM DOING NOW THAT WE ARE NOT TOGETHER ANYMORE :) :)"
>hey anon! look at me, i am working out again :) :) :)
>posts a bunch of shit to show off his fake happiness
>HAHA LIVING TEH LIFE, JACK DANIELS EVERYDAY
Cringe. I am absolutely different and I'd rather not talk about my private life with him (I am with someone else and I'm very happy with this person). Are exes usually like this? They like to show off to make the other feel bad or something?
He's trying to keep you invested in him. Very detestable.
Not her but
>B-but how, anon?
1: Think of anything about his personality or habits that minorly annoyed you, or you strongly disliked/hated and wanted to not exist but tolerated because you loved him. Then think of his qualities and the things he did that you did really appreciate. Then consider that you don't have to put up with those bad things ever again, they're gone. THEN consider how all of those positive things aren't only in him, and that men with those qualities exist everywhere even if they're rare qualities, and that you have the potential to find someone with those again someday no matter how impossible that seems right now.
2. Time heals blah blah blah, it's true. Don't fight your feelings and don't think too much into what your feelings mean either, just accept that you're aching very badly right now and that is that. Try to notice if you're feeling less and less bad as months go by, compare how you feel 2 months after the breakup to the first week. Take another look at how much you're hurting 4 or 5 months later. As a dumb article I desperately read post breakup said: "Breakups hurt until they don't". You'll get over him when you get over him, and it's a gradual shift not an on/off switch. Just keep that in mind as you're hurting, that you will someday not give a damn.
3. No contact is super important and try to avoid seeing what he is up to/how he is doing with minor e-stalking(I e-stalked on a lot of days, so I understand if you do it, but I also understand how it's just needless pain added to a painful situation). It's the most masochistic urge to stab yourself in the heart over and over post breakup, but the sooner you stop the better. Tbh I have no experience with "lets be friends", but no contact allows healing faster from what others have told me.
4. Keep taking care of yourself. Don't neglect proper sleep, eating, hygiene etc. Force yourself to do those things even if you're in a lot of pain or feeling empty.
I was broken up with about 7 months ago now, from a 3 year long relationship. That was my best friend. So trust me, it magically gets better, you just have to hang in there.
Overcome your lustful desires for this man you speak to us of.
Sometimes exes like to run some kind of PR campaign to show the world(and their ex) how happy they are, because in reality it did sting them.
Though yours is weird for doing it directly at you.
Which just means he's selling to her. Not a classic "I'm so happy!" showcase of passive-aggression and well-kept self-loathing. He's literally just trying to tempt her (maybe to make a refusal?).
Someone please reply to my post please not this one the one I posted.
Anon, what do you want us to say? It just looks like you're venting to the person the post is about. From the little you did post, you deserve better though. Try to work on your self esteem and stay away from them. There will be someone else who treats you better.
>>7633what if I can't move on? even if I do work on myself. Which I have been.
It takes time. Sometimes years to get over someone. Just try your best to be patient, focus on other things. Cut them out of your life wherever possible, get rid of reminders. Good luck, Anon.
You can't say that that you have failed if you haven't genuinely tried yet, anon. There is no set time frame to "get over someone or be stuck forever."
Here's an analogy for dealing with grief that might help. Whenever someone is gone, you will hurt, but since you're still around you need to live your life. The scope of your life will expand, which will shrink the proportion that the person/loss takes up. It doesn't make them less meaningful or important (or less painful), but continuing to live yourself is also a priority. But like grief, healing takes time.
trying to think of reasons not to kill myself and the only things i have are
>not existing is scary
>things could get better
but shit is so awful rn now lol
why is life like this
always problems and unavoidable issues…what makes me feel even worse is that life could be way more horrid, i am thankful but fuck why is everyday so shitty
I'm too shy and quiet at work. My coworkers are talking behind my back because of it. I'm worried this will get me fired.
what are you working as?
i'm pretty sure you can't just get fired for not being 'sociable enough' or whatever else they might be talking about you. as long as your performance at work is good, i don't believe there'd be any reason for the boss to fire you just over some gossiping
I work in an office doing numbers stuff and talk to coworkers about it. My boss said that my work performance is very good.
I'm just worried O comd across as arrogant or something like that.
I'm so tired of my family. My dad is an alcoholic who cheated on my mother and he flies off the handle all the time and gets really angry and shouty. My sister has that same habit but she's worse- she really hates me and has abused me for maybe 8 years… hitting me, throwing stuff at me, verbally abusing me, stealing my things. Today she took my house key and my phone and I need to get it back before I go back to university. I've only been here for less than 3 weeks but I'm already a nervous wreck. I don't want to ever come back here again. I'm tired of the threats. I'm tired of the abuse. I'm tired of the fact that I try to tell my mom and she thinks I'm just as bad even though she sees these things happening right in front of her. If I try to say or do something back I get painted as nasty and trouble making. My dad outright hates me and loves my sister… they all think I'm a freak because I'm nerdy and I had a lot of depression a while ago (caused by them).
I'm leaving for university again tomorrow. I don't ever wanna come back here. I just hope I don't mess everything up with my new housemates.
being poorfag sucks
gonna go for a hard degree and hope i don't choke / find something about it i really love
also i'm worried about my mom. i love her and i don't want her to die but i know it'll happen (but hopefully not for 40 or so years)
but she's like 52 now and granny was 66 when she passed (i'm pretty sure)
my dad is like. 60 something as well
i'm just scared and worried for my future and their end
also i've had constant chest pain since like the 16th
doubting it's anything serious since i…haven't died or had a heart attack yet but fuck
2 weeks ago got banned from a game i have been playing on my free time since 2011, i still cant get over it, i used it to cope with my lack of friends
already contacted costumer support twice but no reply
What did you do to get banned?
It'll be okay, anon. You can get through this.
i dont know, they have been banning people for no reason on the recent days, some people got their accounts back after contacting costumer support, i just happen to be incredibly unlucky
>taking insulin shots
You have my sympathy. I hope to god there can be peace for you.
I will never understand the thought process of people like this. Why would they not ask you what you're injecting instead just assuming something ridiculous like doing heroin right there on your fucking workplace. Do they not question their own thoughts? Wtf?
>>7833>do they not question their own thoughts
No, they don't. Their soft brains are molded to be shocked whenever they see something they can perceive as out of the ordinary. "You wouldn't believe what I saw today! Anon was putting some needle into her arm. It looked like heroin! Turns out it was just insulin. Boy did that send me for a ride!"
I have a fear of flying and have anti-anxiety meds I've never taken before. Would it be a good or bad idea to pop them before I go on? First prescription.
"Common side effects include trouble sleeping, nausea, sexual problems, and feeling tired". I just need something to conk me out for 2 hours on the plane.
Yeah, chances are those side effects aren't short-term. I'd try to conquer the fears myself, if I were you.
Take either a drowsy anti-nausea like dimenhydrinate (Dramamine), or an anti-histamine that is not non-drowsy (example is diphenhydramine/Benadryl).
I wish at least one of my very simple dreams could come true. It is like everything is against me. I feel so depressed. I really wish I wouldn't wake up tomorrow.
Please don't pop pills. Somebody needs you in this world.
What do you dream of, anon?
Becoming financially independent and moving out
dont let your dreams be dreams anon, you can do it
Don't. Financial dependence is the base for a lot of abuse. >>7853>>7859
You can do it anon, it takes work and consistency, but you can do it!
Thanks anons, I'll start them after my flights then.>>7851
Because of reasons ^, I've never taken them before, butthat.
No. You really can't. Nobody can, really. Money just gets more and more worthless as time goes on. It's way too much to be "financially dependant" in the way that you can just do what you want with your money, which is what I assume anon's talking about. You'll only lose your humanity, in that pursuit.
It's honestly better just to pair up with someone who can either supply the money, or put what it buys to good use, as what a poster on here told me once. The only problem with that route is the low-trust society we live in. Most don't want to pull any weight, and everybody suffers, because of that.
Inflation is a property of money, but it is supposed to be handled with reasonable living wage laws. Since that seems to be under pressure, advocating for universal basic income could be a solution.
Also how would having someone else do the "pursue income and lose humanity" really solve things? You'd then be dependent on a person who (in this line of argument) traded humanity for $$$, which sounds worth than struggling on one's own.
>>7870>advocating for universal basic income could be a solution
Raising the wages is just a setup for worsened value. Until the money stops printing, it's just gonna get worse, but we need more people! More apartments, less green! >how would having someone else do that really solve things
By doing the things for them that they'd lose their humanity doing alone. See, you seem to think seeking fortune alone is the issue, but it's not. It's doing all that, and finishing the day off with a TV dinner that makes you want to end it all.
Because they want justification to control women. "She is a gold digger, so I deserve sex and to be taken care of at least.">>7871
I don't know why I bothered responding when your first counterpoint is nonsense. >By doing the things for them that they'd lose their humanity doing alone.
So, having someone else do all the chores in exchange for wage labor to support 2 people is the solution? The issue here is that it creates an imbalance when housework is devalued.
Also being able to live on your own and support yourself doesn't lead to loss of humanity unless you are socially isolated. This is beginning to sound like a dude who's dream is >work, >come home and enjoy wife's meal, >have sex, >go to bed, >repeat
There is more to life than that.
(If I'm wrong about the suspicion, sorry, but the points were not very coherent)
Especially since original anon probably wants to move out because their current living situation is dependent on family, so having them depend on someone else doesn't help.
>>7878>it's not "easy" to find a financially supportive guy
Of course it's not. I posted about that not too long ago. The incels, and unfortunately some people here don't want to bother. They fear and loathe. Nobody can trust one-another. Everyone just wants to not wake up the next day, because it is all so awful. If there is a search to be had for finding anyone to waste the rest of your life with, it is a terrible and oppressive journey.>>7880>anon probably wants to move out because their current living situation is dependent on family
That's what I'm getting at. If it's guilt she's feeling for leeching off of her family, all she has to do is give back, and the guilt will leave her. There's no need to separate herself from the ones who love her. How does she even know they want her gone?
She wants to be independent, how is that so hard to understand? There are no details on whether it's due to the family situation or not, so the speculation of "guilt she's feeling for leeching off of her family" is unfounded. Stop making shit up.
She doesn't need to justify why she wants to move out, it's a dream, and hopefully she can achieve it one day.
I said "if". Don't be rude and jump to conclusions. Everyone has reasons to dream, and it's okay to speak of them.
I am the anon who said I want to be financially independent and move out. I live with my mom and I have a job so I am not really a NEET, and I have a university degree as well, but I can't find a job that is good enough to help me move out for good and keep living my life, and this depresses me greatly. There aren't many things I want right now but to become truly independent and unfortunately it is hard because I tend to be broke most of the time due to my shitty job and ridiculous income.
I don't think relying on a man is that bad if he can be the provider but that is not what i am trying to achieve nor what i want at the moment. I just want to break free and get my own place, even if small…
thank you for the feedback and the best wishes, anons.
What inspired you to reach for this dream, anon?
Feeling like I am a burden to my family and the natural desire to be my own provider. I am in my mid 20's so I feel like I need to do this asap and I am trying, but life hasn't been too kind. At some point last year I had two jobs and one of them closed its doors. Now I'm stuck in the other one that doesn't pay me enough to move out and have my own place and unable to find something better even tho I am graduated. Sigh.
>>7900>feeling like I am a burden to my family and the natural desire to be my own providerI knew it!
Look, you aren't jobless. Right? You're not swearing at your own parents, and eating the food right off of their plates. Are you? If that's the case then you're not a burden! Chances are, you're already paying your share in food and utilities. Sure, it's lack pay, but I can tell you're the kind of person to give it their all. Do you get the feeling they're trying to pry you out of the house, or is this guilt they'd probably reassure you about? >life hasn't been too kind>at some point last year I had two jobs and one of them closed its doors>now I'm stuck in the other one that doesn't pay me enough to move out and have my own place and unable to find something better even tho I am graduated
Tell me about it. Everyone talks crap about "kids these days" staying with their family being a problem. The parents talk about it being a problem themselves, if they're old enough to think life wasn't any better before. The real issue is that there is no feasible way to move out anywhere. The problems you face finding any work and let alone scraping up enough to buy some backwoods plot just makes living with your family an absolute fact of life, especially if you're not living where the land is cheap. It's horrible, but it's the truth. The only way you can get what you want these days is by deliberately going into debt with loaners, and that's honestly the worst thing you can do to yourself. It's legitimately out of reach. The best you can do is hope to keep the house well renovated, pay off whatever money is owed to it, and earn the respect of your elders to the point of them possibly thinking
about letting you take some form of responsibility for the residence, and that's while you're still on the jobhunt.
You're already a provider, and you're not a burden. The fact you're doing your damndest to climb this hellscape honestly just shows that to everyone here. Please, don't say that of yourself. Like you've posted, there is a natural desire to provide within you, and you've done well, to sate it.
This is so pointless to say, because I already know what is right here and what a bad choice is, I just feel like shit and want to cry and whine. I'll sound juvenile and petty and overdramatic.
I made a decision to try to get a nice cuddly fwb thing going before I move this fall or end of summer. I really badly want the boyfriend experience briefly before leaving, every part of me is craving that even if it can't be permanent. I used tinder which I had never done before.
The experience was an ego boost as I'm just kind of not a normal adult and don't put myself out there really, but this is an imageboard so many of you can relate. I had my ex who lasted for 3 years and that is all, I'm not used to this kind of thing.
I matched with a guy who turned out to be in the military, which ideologically isn't something I'm super for or against but it still came off as attractive. He was absolutely cute. The most validating part about this is that my ex used to tell me that if I ever got with someone else they'd be a complete pussy/"beta" and that's all I'd ever attract. If I talked about the history with my ex you'd call him verbally/physically abusive and that's correct but that's the past, it's just that I felt incredible because this guy could totally kick my ex's ass and was way more "alpha" and hot. This was an important detail to me because I had believed in those words up until this point, and it hurt. Even the way this guy texted just came off as hot somehow.
But he hurt my feelings. We drew up plans to meet up and cuddle and watch an anime neither of us had seen, with the understanding it would most likely lead to more. We had to wait a few weeks because of our work schedules combined with his family visiting to actually meet, so we were just making small talk. One night he convinced me to send him boob/ass pics and I did like a retard, he tried to get more and I told him that was enough. We said a couple more things and he stopped responding to me, I thought about it a bit and decided fuck it I'll find out later. The next day I asked him a small talk question and he never replied, he quit talking to me. I opened tinder up again and not only did he suddenly stop responding that prior evening, he removed me on tinder as well. I didn't know if one of the desperate/clingy sounding messages I sent scared him off or did he find some ugly detail about my body after inspecting those pics more. I cried thinking about this, maybe I'm "picky" but barely anyone had the right sort of personality/looks on that app. It was like every guy was either super gorgeous and way out of my league or just some fat guy with a beard holding a fish or something, it was like so many profiles were trying too hard to be witty or show how adventurous they were. I liked that guy because he was just a guy in a shirt and he seemed so cool.
I cried and cried, but then tried again after a week. I matched another person who I now have a date with. He is also in the military but as an IT/computer technician type. He seems a lot more dorky than the last one, or as my ex would describe "a complete pussy". He is cute looking and slender, but not masculine. Maybe he is shy but I ended up having to make the moves to make that date happen and he doesn't say a whole lot and went "I'm probably just being awkward", he's as insecure as I am.
I was content with that and ready to give it a shot this weekend.
Tonight that previous boy texted me after weeks of not talking, with a simple "Sup anon, happy 4th". Suddenly I want him very badly and admittedly I got really horny out of nowhere and I don't even have a sex drive usually. He thinks I'm ugly/lonely enough to still want him and the worst part is he is right. It's ironic he even said "happy 4th" because I've felt upset and inadequate since he sent that on what was otherwise a nice night. I hate that I ever read misogynistic things about "beta bucks/alpha fucks" and "nice guys" and that my ex is pretty much right about me.
I am so petty and selfish for letting boy #2 be some extension of my self esteem when all he has done is been nice and respectful.
Are you really considered a burden or do you just feel like one? I don't think people should move out before they're financially ready if they still have welcoming parents, staying home and saving money is the smartest thing you can do for your finances. Of course it's not possible for everyone but if your parents are happy to have you there, don't prioritize freedom/independence/privacy/etc over your future financial stability.
First of all, forget your ex! I know you anticipated that, but still. Get him out of your mind.
Second, the guy you got with is the average hookup. Even if he said he isn't looking for a hookup, he'll still treat it like that. He probably had some "moral" that if you posted pics, then you're not worth his time. Definitely pocketed them and went elsewhere. Completely deceptive personalities like this are why I can't bring myself to use this sort of stuff.
Third, what kind of person gets off to celebrating the 4th of july? Whatever the case, I hope you keep us posted on your weekend with the slender nerdy boy.
>Third, what kind of person gets off to celebrating the 4th of july?
Not sure if this is just a joke. It was more just him being him.
>Whatever the case, I hope you keep us posted on your weekend with the slender nerdy boy.
I didn't plan to but okay I will. We're meeting for lunch on sunday and then taking a long walk along this pretty coastal trail if we don't find each other offputting.
It was a joke, but other than that, let's hope the date goes well! Good luck!
I wish I wasn't so depressed.
Health problems and loneliness
What kind of health problems?
I'm pulling weekend almost-all-nighters to try and finish up my dissertation and I fucking hate it. FUCK. I just want to sleep, finish this thing, and then set it on fire. I fucking hate this so much.
My advisor is fucking me around and nitpicking so hard on things he could have edited/suggested to me on drafts from months ago. I hate him, too. Fuck.
Why do I always attract guys who already have girlfriends? They keep telling me very sweet things and getting intimate with me, only for me to find out they already have someone. What's the fucking point of that?
I've tried changing social groups, environments, etc, but somehow, it's always the dude with a [x]-years long relationship who notices me. No one else. Ever.
What jerks. :(
Do you think there's something that draws you to them? I had a friend who was like, EXCLUSIVELY attracted to people in relationships because of her fears of commitment. If her crush was in a relationship, the question of actually getting close to someone wasn't even possible.
I'm just spit-balling and not blaming you at all, it just sort of reminded me of my friend.
I'm not sure if there's anything drawing me to attached guys, since usually I don't even know they have girlfriends. I've had crushes on single guys, but it's always the ones who have girlfriends who actually notice me.
You're too perfect for the lonely to feel they can make an approach, but guys who've had some think less of you.
I'd advise avoiding the adulterers at all costs. The moment you lower yourself for them, they're going to treat you less and less as something worthwhile, until they're already looking at somebody else. Not sure how to get the single guys to dig you, though. Less makeup, maybe?
don't quite know how to put these feelings into words but i'm tired of social issues / politics / e-drama / whatever. life is so short and people spend it trying to tell you what to do. i don't get why we can't all settle down and be friends
hell not even be friends but keep away from other people's throats. let live and live
i hate racists and those girls that will scream at you for shit like 'cultural appropriation'
What times were there where things weren't like this?
Children aren't protected from this stuff anymore, anon.
You said to let you know how it goes, it isn't going to happen now. I'm going to bed.
Today I was on break looking at different downtown restaurants with my coworker/friend and asking her for suggestions.
I texted him "sup?" and he responded "not much trying to get these people off my back lol. I'm trying to sell my vehicle and like 200 people are talking to me about it"
So I kind of just went "oh wow" and then asked him about tomorrow, because our plans were just "downtown lunch and a walk", I asked him what sounded like a good time, what kind of food he might want to get(since I was so indecisive), and of he was willing to meet in the central town park first and walk to lunch from there.
So he simply responds "tbh I probably won't be able to now. I have a few more people wanting to look at it", I guess 'it' meaning his car? I didn't see that message until I I went to the bathroom a bit later and I just went quiet. Maybe it was karma because I called a new girl at work fat inside my head, for shouldering me and not apologizing even though I could totally kick her ass. I don't normally care what people look like but instantly use their appearance as an insult the moment I feel wronged by them, cuz I can get pretty mean.
Anyway I feel pretty upset. I could have been looking for another guy that entire time I waited on him. He could have been like "sorry but _______" the moment he felt he had to cancel instead of waiting for me to start forming plans. He could have added something like "maybe some other time" and stuff or apologized for it, instead of the casual response he gave. I'm going go to come back to work Tuesday and girls are going to ask how it went because Im one of the few single people. I have put a lot of thought into this and have been stressing over my appearance all week and this faggot is just like "nah I don't think I can anymore". I'm supposedly cute to him and told him how his eyes were my favorite kind(very bright brown), I put lots of effort to not reveal how crazy and weird I am but at the same time made it plainly obvious he could easily get his cock sucked if his personality didn't scare me off. I'm supposedly pretty yet this is how it seems to go.
At any rate this was obviously not inportant to him and at this point if he tries to hit me up again after that indifferent cancelling I'm not going to bite. I didn't respond to what he said.
Maybe he found someone better. What an asshole.
Holy shit I can't even get a scrawny nerd with the cringiest bio ever to go on a date.
>>8006>I can get pretty mean
Anon, you literally feel like you want to apologise for insulting someone's weight in a thought. You're literally the sweetest woman I've ever met.>I could have been looking for another guy that entire time I waited on him
The fact you never even thought of that is a testament to your purity. So many people try to thibk of love as some sort of game, making contingency dates, and such, never trusting one person with their love. Don't let this horrible world tear away such obvious innocence, anon. People like you are a hope for the future.>>8007>holy shit I can't even get a scrawny nerd with the cringiest bio ever to go on a date
You can never find anyone good with these apps, anon. They're deceivers, and someone like you trying to associate with any of them is a death knell for what makes you so special. Don't fall for this stuff. It only exists to hurt you, until you begin to hurt others.
You sound so miserable Anon.. I know this is really old but did you ever find out what you wanted to do?
>you literally feel like you want to apologise for insulting someone's weight in a thought.
I don't feel like apologizing, I was feeling sorry for myself and wondered what I had done to deserve it and then remembered that.
>You're literally the sweetest woman I've ever met.
But we haven't met?
I'm an imageboard using edgelord cunt
I gave a homeless boy money for food when he asked, but when he simply walked away and didn't say thank you I shouted for him to choke on whatever it is he buys and said the world would be better with him dead.
I saw a mentally ill woman with her pants down around her ankles at a memorial and I took a picture so I could laugh about it with my e-friend instead of feeling anything for her situation.
When I was in the psychward I told the girl nextdoor to me to kill herself when she was crying, because the obnoxious noise was disturbing me. I shouted "no one cares" to her several times during her sobbing and threatened her with violence when she came near my door.
I abandoned 2 e-friends for complicated reasons, and a lot of the time I don't even feel sorrow or guilt but instead feel very angry at them and wish bad things for them still.
I've called multiple middle aged women in the grocery store a "fucking idiot".
I generally hate old people because they're slow and in the way and always want to chat the stupidest shit.
I texted my sister "kill yourself" on her 31st birthday. I hate her.
Rather than the "sweetest woman" I am probably in the top 5 meanest people using this site. You're assuming too much. My mind just has very mannish ideas of justice and retribution and I simply realized why the universe might feel I deserved for that to not work out.
>The fact you never even thought of that is a testament to your purity. So many people try to thibk of love as some sort of game, making contingency dates, and such, never trusting one person with their love. Don't let this horrible world tear away such obvious innocence, anon. People like you are a hope for the future.
My delusional anime tier fantasies aren't purity.
>ever find anyone good with these apps, anon. They're deceivers, and someone like you trying to associate with any of them is a death knell for what makes you so special.
i want to be held and kissed and dicked so badly, there is no other option.
Not the anon who thought you were sweet here. I just wanted to say I knew you were a bitch from the way you spoke about the guy and because you only seemed to worry about offending that women because of karma, not because it's wrong.
>offending that women
The words never left my mouth.
She didn't get to feel offended she got to feel superior for knocking me off balance as I looked the other direction and forcing her way through as if we were in prison, rather than say excuse me.
These confident aggressive types love to go "real womenz have curvz, skinny bitches have no ass xD" behind everyone's back anyway.
God I hate borderline people more than anything else.
BTW don't give homeless people "money for food", you're actually just giving them money for alcohol. Buy then something from McDonalds or give them a goodie bag of toothpaste, deodorant, etc.
>don't give homeless people "money for food", you're actually just giving them money for alcohol.
Oh, never heard that before. I'll make sure not to give them money anymore.
>>8012>I was feeling sorry for myself and wondered what I had done to deserve it and then remembered that
Can't you see where your empathy lies with that? You were sorry. You felt like you deserved it. You felt guilt.
All of those outbursts are not your fault for letting through. You are not a demon. You have a demon. Those outbursts of cruelty you have are only the results of a troubled mind. You never asked to be that way. Lord knows whatever you went through in psychiatry made it worse.>my delusional anime tier fantasies aren't purity
The source of your fantasies were influenced by old Walt Disney animations. They are very pure. If you give up your dreams you will be demon like many others. Please do not give in. Don't give up hope.>i want to be held and kissed and dicked so badly, there is no other option
They don't have to come from there, anon. You don't have to be desperate. It's not too late for you. Simply keep your honesty, and look for commitment. No one would take this advice seriously, but it will help you live happily.>>8017
You should see how some of them act when you try to give them what you think they should buy. Never bother with the ones begging.
you sound like a cunt tbh
I wish I could concentrate on one skill at a time. My whole life I was and still am a mess of interests, mediocre talents and shit I want to learn. Now I'm almost 25 and finally have the financial means to support one thing myself (since my parent didn't want to "force" me to learn anything so she didn't bother at all just used all her money to make me fat with fastfood lmao) but can't decide, because it's so much. Self expression is the only thing that makes me happy. I have 11 notebooks full of inspiration for various things but literally 0 skill. Kill me
Why? If I was homeless I'd rather be pissed with bad breath.
I really need to be more self-disciplined to improve myself, my health, and my uni work. My anxiety makes everything a lot harder and starting uni tasks can be daunting if the tasks aren't broken into really tiny to dos. I know what I need to do, I just need to do it. Just thinking about how to fit everything in in a day seems exhausting. I slack off yet I have no excuse for it. Why do I sabotage myself like this?
What are the things you're trying to do all at once?
Do you guys ever look back at a relationship and you're completely disgusted with the person you dated?
I've recently broke up with this guy (my first non LDR relationship) and looking back I realize what a total cunt he was..
>pressured me into sex
>woke me up several times by humping me even tho he knew I had awful insomnia and can't go back to sleep
>pressured me into drinking
>every time we saw each other it was the same routine of him drinking heavily and stirring shit with others
>didn't like using protection even though he slept around and had an STI scare when we first met
>sexist as fuck, talked about how women are indecisive and how he was disappointed when I was just ''like every other woman''
>talked about hitting me and other women
I dumped the asshole and obviously I'm no catch myself but jesus I just feel so disgusted and foolish I ever went for him because I was so deprived of irl affection and felt utterly unloveable.. I would rather die alone
That's incredibly disgusting, almost on a level of parody. What was there to even like about him?
Nothing, really. Although at first he was very sweet to me..it was a bit of a Dr Jekyll Mr Hyde situation.. I was really stupid for falling into that trap due to my low self esteem ugh. Dude would also always constantly tell me I should be glad he has a nice car and a nice job like ew
It's to help them get their act together so they can be presentable for a job interview.
>>8028>ever look back at a relationship and you're completely disgusted with the person you dated?
Yeah that's totally normal.
>I just feel so disgusted and foolish I ever went for him because I was so deprived of irl affection and felt utterly unloveable
Hey it's alright, you learned a lesson. Self respect at all costs. Imo a lonely life is better than the shitty lives those girls permanently in those kind of relationships have.
I did sames and was with a guy way too long any normal person would have walked out on years before our breakup.
You aren't foolish if you're able to reflect on the low self esteem and why you ended up there in the first place, it's pretty smart imo.
I'm sorry, I think you read about the abuse+molestation that one evening and can only see me as some kind of victim-angel and it's beginning to be frustrating.
Yes I hate fat shaming and image shaming, and hate invasive thoughts when they're nice people. I hate that kind of thing and endured my share of it as a fat teen. But when a person acts like a cunt I don't feel bad, I cannot feel sorry for thinking that of her even if I recognize that in some objective morality that it's wrong to see people like that. Go to any place anywhere at any time and most people are just shit, and don't deserve to be treated well. You're talking about the world being a bad place and I'm not above it. I think of why my life has always been such shit, then I realize I do so many things that make me deserve for it to be that way. I see couples everywhere but will be reading manga alone in the dark tonight while tuning out my alcoholic roommate with a rainy white noise mp3, and I have acted in such a way I can't go "why me ;_;" when looking at my pathetic life.
>The source of your fantasies were influenced by old Walt Disney animations.
Another assumption. I disliked Disney as a kid pretty fast, I disliked aladdin and the lion king and mostly wanted cartoon network. I liked digimon and toonami. I never really watched the old ones, my sister liked peter pan but I was always bored by it. Pinocchio just made me feel like shit especially when he morphs into a donkey, it disturbed me and I always had to stop watching then. Hilariously I have big feet just like one of the wicked step sisters from cindarella, I even pluck swarthy arab hairs off of them.
I'm a terrible person for making my boyfriend suffer so much. I didn't realize until we fell in love that I'm not fit to be in a relationship. There are so many traits of mine that scare him and make him unhappy. How possessive and controlling I am, how volatile my emotions can be. I had good intentions and wanted him to be loved and cared for, but I feel like I deceived him. We have so many extremely happy moments but also a lot of severe lows in our relationship. Almost every single time we've met up the past two weeks I've made him cry. It's always the same thing. I get extremely hurt at some small thing he does, I try to distance myself so I don't explode in anger, but in the end I end up making him sad and unloved from that and we get into huge arguments over text.
For example, yesterday. It's such a stupidly small thing. He was dropping me off at home, and I wanted to talk to him for a little bit before I left. We were having such a nice, romantic conversation. He was telling me how much he loved being mine, how we were going to become husband and wife in the future. We were thinking about of all the small details of our future life together, it made me so happy… Suddenly he tells me that our day together has been nice, and he loves me and hopes I have a good evening. That made me so angry. The way he rushed me, even if it was polite, made our conversation seem so shallow and pointless. It made me feel unloved. Even though I knew the reason, that he promised his family he would be back in time for dinner, it still made me so furious that he was prioritizing that over talking to me for 10 minutes. I'm fucking crazy and I know I'm wrong for feeling that way. I know I'm wrong but those emotions always overwhelm me. I tried to hide it, but after a year together he can tell by how distant I become when I'm unhappy. After I left he apologized because he knew it made me upset but that wasn't enough for me. Somehow it escalated into an argument, he told me I was abusive and that scared him.
At that point I tried to leave him again. It's been five times I've done this, last week on our anniversary we had a huge argument in person, I almost walked out but he begged me to come back. He was crying so much. It makes me feel so fucking horrible because I know I'm mentally not well. I know I'm hurting him, I know I shouldn't be with him. This time again he begged me to not leave him and I didn't… I love him so much but I'm just so terrible at showing it, I feel like I shouldn't even be alive after all that I put him through. I don't know what's wrong with me or how I can fix myself, it feels so hopeless.
>>8034>I do so many things that make me deserve for it to be that way
The causes of your feelings and demeanor are way overdue for a return, if you truly believe in karma. You can't just mention luck when you believe you don't have any. It's not healthy for your mind.>I see couples everywhere but will be reading manga alone in the dark tonight while tuning out my alcoholic roommate with a rainy white noise mp3, and I have acted in such a way I can't go "why me ;_;" when looking at my pathetic life
It's all subject to change, anon. Trying to reach out for someone to love you through a hookup program isn't something you have to do. You thirst for simply being touched, but you will only regret it if that's all you'd have gotten. It happens to too many people facing against their own loneliness.>i dislike old disney
I think I derailed a bit too far from the main point there, so I apologise. I still don't see where your fantasies cannot be seen as pure and innocent.
I met guy few months ago on the internet, he was so nice, friendly, weeby like me and perfect overall. I started falling in love with him. He was saying all that cute things like he wants me to be his wife etc. we started being intimate and he started to ask for nudes, in a respectful way ofc.
I said that I wouldn't send him if he sends me his nudes. He sends me his and I send him mine… I didn't really want to do that, but I also wanted to make him happy… also he starts to begin a little pushy about it..
After that, we meet first time and was perfect. But after that, everything started going downhill, he spoke to me rarely and he become cold, i asked what happened and he just said that he lose his interest in me.
After that we meet first time and was perfect. But after that everything started going downhill, he spoke to me rarely and he becomes cold, I asked what happened and he just said that he loses his interest in me. After our first meet he would never become that same man I meet first time. He sometimes changes mind and tells me that he misses me and I could feel by the way he writes, that he started liking me more again, but then, he loses interest. That wasn't that bad until recently, he writes to me every few days, when I try to make some conversation I feel like he don't want to talk anymore, he just responds "ok, nice" and that's all. I asked him if something happened and why he behaves so weirdly but he just says that nothing changed and he behave same as always. Like idk, he write to me first but than he behave like he doesn't want to talk with me, i said that he doesn't need to write to me everyday but he just ignore that and instead,
he write to me more that day, and than bam, next day he again write less.
I just…. I'm so tired to continue this relationship, I was so broken when he said that he lose interest in me after I send all that pictures, and now, he behave like this, I still wouldn't mind be a friends with him but now I'm too tried with him…
And the worst thing is that I send him those fuckin nudes, I regret it SO FUCKING MUCH. I still couldn't believe I was so fucking stupid and naive… He may lost interest in me, but I dobut that he would put these pictures on the internet, he also promised that he remove all of them.
I just think it's time to end this relationship, I just fight with myself that it will be better that he maybe changes, but… I think it's the end, I just only hope that he really remove all these nudes and will never ever put them on the internet…
I'm just so sad and broken, I lived alone for so many years, after that I just get used to loneliness and I thought that I'm gonna live like that forever, but then I met him and everything changes, and now, thought that I will be alone again make me nuts.
I'm just tired with everything I just give up on this life.
I'm sorry for my english, i'm too tired to even think about mistakes
You're borderline, anon. I'm not sure what could've put this in your mind, but it's something you need to tell him about. He'll understand why you act like this to him, if you tell him.>>8050
Yeah. Sending nudes is never a good idea. I'm not sure why, but it's evident how doing that leads to a loss of respect. Very sorry, anon.
My stability slowly faded day by day until I woke up today having none. I don't know what to do.
I had set an alarm this morning for when my roommate went to work with the intention of hanging myself, but I knew from my near success back in December that I don't have the courage to actually black out only to make it very close of the point of no return, at that point some instinct kicks in and I got some kind of adrenaline rush. Had I not read online the sensations people felt right before blacking out(extreme tunnel vision, feeling like you're about to fall asleep, sparkly flashing dots in the part of your vision still left) I might have made it, but I got to that point and the thought "I am within seconds from collapsing and dying" made me bolt up no matter how terrible I felt. I spent a long time feeling angry that I didn't just let myself collapse then, because it's even harder to try that method.
I intended to cut the carotid artery in my neck but I couldn't even break my skin with the dull knives we have, or I'm too cowardly to apply enough pressure. I couldn't cut anything even when I sawed at myself, only gave myself scrapes. I wonder what my roommate did to make our knife set so dull suddenly, because that totally cut me easily 8 months ago.
I've stayed sober for a while and managed to stop smoking, because I wanted my skin to look nice, but felt compelled to relapse on the tobacco and also visit the weed store nearby. I didn't. I relapsed on a different self harming habit and ripped off the toenails on both of my pinky toes which I have managed to not do for a long time.
I walked to the store and bought a bunch of chocolate and sugar and fatty stuff and have binged on it. It's the only outlet I could find. I so badly wanted to break something but managed not to, until I slammed the microwave door shut and the bowl I had next to it fell to the floor and shattered which was an accident. I so badly want to be skinny and have a bmi of about 20 now, but am probably more suited to just being fat because I love eating so much.
I feel helpless. I told myself I should stay away from CC or places like it but I'm so desperate to write or talk. >>8047
>way overdue for a return, if you truly believe in karma.
"Life is unfair and bad things happen to people" is far more difficult to handle.
>It's all subject to change, anon.
I waited for change since 2012 and nothing changed, I tried really hard in 2018 to take action and make change happen and nothing has changed.
It doesn't even matter if tinder is a bad idea or not now, because I managed to swipe through every last male on there in a city of 300k between all the moping, sleeping, and online whining.
I will be a wrinkly saggy mess by the time I meet the right person.
Don't do that, anon. You're going to hurt not only yourself but many others here on this site doing something like that. Nobody wants to lose you. You have no proper sense of morality, anon. You need to get your head straight. Care for yourself, keep up your fitness, and treat your mind. Please.
Cannot tell if I have body dismorphia, warped perception of beauty due to years of gossip sites or am just really ugly
>>7215>Seeing men who scream about women being worthless holes turn around and admit they fantasize about hand-holding and cuddling gives me a bittersweet hope. If they feel this way, then well-adjusted men probably also do.
Does that reasoning apply? In my view they feel this way because they're starved for female affection their entire lives while well-adjusted men probably get their fair share of affection on the regular. So I don't think the latter group needs to fantasize about it. To me the robots/incels/whathaveyou are simply exhibitng textbook madonna-whore complexes.
Are you saying that well-adjusted men never fantasize about women they wish to be with? They never have sexual or romantic fantasies about women they seemingly cannot have relationships with, like celebrities or models?
People who lash out, unjustly, but upon resistance and counter get EXTREMELY pissed.
How. How can one deal with them. It's like herding toddlers.
There is a newer vent thread here, this one is about to reach post limit
my standards for people are so high appearance wise. i really don't want to be with anyone for an extended period of time if they don't look ~perfect~ as i consider it, this is soo unreasonable since i'm a complete uggo.
but i can't help it. life is so short and getting to know people takes so long, i just don't want anyone if they aren't excellent.
Anonymous Moderator 11692
Current vent thread here:>>>/feels/8291
I wanted to do some baking, but mum decided to drink four litres of milk in 36 hours so that’s cool.