i got caught in a rangeban for 4c on my favorite board. i'm so mad! where am i meant to waste my time now ;;
left some messages in feedback, but who knows if anyone checks tbh…reeee
forgot to mention i can bypass it on my pc but . . . damn, i want to snuggle down in bed & phonepost.
I have to go to this work related event for 2h tonight and I'm NOT in the mood for that. My boss begged me to go and that's why I have to, but I'm pissed. I hope the hours fly by.
The bathroom gets flooded if you try to shower, do laundry or just flush. My idiot brother flushed this morning god knows why and now there's old pieces of toilet paper, shit and water all over the floor.
And guess who'll have to clean it…yea, me. Because he's a fucking manchild. I hate this so much.
I haven't showered since Tuesday and haven't shit in 3 days. Everything's so gross here jfc and I feel disgusting
My bf has been a bit cold/lukewarm towards me this whole week. Maybe I am just being paranoid and he just wants a bit of a breather, but I can't help but feel that he has fallen a bit out of love for me. Which is again totally fine and part of life, but still hurts.
I hope next week he seems a bit more warm.
One of my dogs died a few days ago and I'm incredibly devastated. I have another dog who is 13 and now I'm constantly afraid I'm going to lose her too. I spent $1500 on tests for her today and yesterday to make sure she was healthy (echocardigram, ultrasound, x-rays, blood tests) because the other dog's death came as a complete shock with no warning.
I'm having so much anxiety right now it's unbearable. He was so human, and would even hug you. and loved to fetch and loved kids and loved to cuddle. God dammit Jack. Why did you have to leave? Why so suddenly? I'm numb.
Oh no, what happened? Was it in his sleep?
I’m so lonely. Is there a downside to selling my virginity to fund plastic surgery and changing my name? I want to be someone else.
Getting dolled up and/or putting effort into looking attractive makes me uncomfortable. I have a very casual style, so it's not like I'm clueless about fashion.
I guess my big vent is, why can't people just be chill? Like I'll suffer through wearing a dress and makeup if the occasion calls for it but other people are always like
> OMG you look so different I hardly recognized you!!
And other nonsense. It's not like I showed up on any old day like this, it's clearly some kind of event.
Usually he's outside my door waiting to get fed in the morning but he wasn't there. He was lying down and awake but didn't want to get up. I finally coerced him to get up, but he didn't want to eat. I let him outside and he went and laid under a tree. Then I carried him inside and he could barely breathe, his gums were purple. I brought him to the emergency vet and they said he has fluid around his heart and they could drain it but he would only live for another few hours to a few weeks, so we just decided to put him to sleep. He showed no warning signs of any of this, and was even hiking with us the day before, running around :(
My whole family is devastated, but he was closest to my little brother and mom and it hurts to see them cry so much. I hate this, I'm wondering when I'll feel happy again.
The worst part is going in there thinking you're going to buy like 100 bucks worth of medicine and be fine, only to walk out of the vet's office with the little cardboard coffin.
I lost my Tako like that, to a bladder clog. He wasn't even 3 years old. I was inconsolable for a month. Burying him helped, so did just being there for my roommates. We needed that, the ability talk things out. Knowing that I wasn't the only one that gave a shit took away so much of my anger.
It's going to take a while, but you will be happy again, and it'll happen a lot sooner than you think. Until that time, we're here for you, ok?
I have recently come out of the closet and am afraid I will never date someone seriously because I am a single mom. I used to think I was bisexual but I realized that I was only with men because I was repressing my homosexuality and I felt "wrong" being attracted to women.
I just feel like there is no place for me in dating!
I made some really nice food and just dropped my plate. It's all over the floor.
My boyfriend is mad at me because I fucked up opening a mayo packet. He was angry at me long enough that the food got cold, he told me to reheat it, and then got mad that it was soft. I used auto mode like he told me to. It didn't give the grams or tine. He doesn't believe me. I hate this.
I'm now bleeding from the forehead. I wish I had a friend.
Are you ok anon? Your bf sounds like trash tbh. Dump him and find a bandaid for your forehead.
Thanks anon. We're both shitty people. I got out of the apartment and I'm going to try to sleep on the train. I tried to wipe the blood off my face but I'm all bruised, it's embarrassing.
It's so pathetic but thanks for replying. It means a lot to me.
Oh anon. Did he hit you? No matter how much of a terrible person you are, unless you've committed an actual crime, I don't think you deserve to be hit.
I don't know how to help you from here, but I hope you're okay and I'll be thinking about you. If you have internet access, please update on how you're doing. If I'm not awake, I'm sure some other anon will share my sentiment and talk to you.
I can't break up with my fiance, but I wish I would. We have a very long term relationship and I still feel love for him plus the fact I am afraid of breaking up then regretting it after a while, which already happened two years or so ago, is preventing me from ending everything. Probably mostly the latter, to be honest, than love itself at this point.
It is been about a year that he has been very depressed. Nothing has helped him, not even a psych. He is unemployed, getting fatter everyday and the only things he does are browse stupid facebook and get into arguments with me and his family over stupid things he sees on tv or online.
I have been by his side the whole time during his depressive phase, trying to help the best way I can, but lately he started drinking again even though we agreed he wouldn't anymore (he had a problem) and sleeping for 1 or 2 days in a row. When I told him he needed to stop and do something about this he said "but I'm not doing well"
When I tried to suggest things to improve his situation he said the same sentence above AGAIN and basically that my suggestions are shit.
I know depression does this to people and all, but I'm tired. So tired. He is using this depression as a crutch and as a way to be an inconsiderate cunt without having to deal with the consequences. He talks as if I never experienced depression even though I took antidepressives for ages and have dealt with mood swings since my teenage years. I probably sound like I have no patience with him, but it is the opposite. I am just getting tired after a year of this. Him drinking again was really the final nail in the coffin…
Anyone here ever experienced a situation like this? Did you break up? If yes, how did you do it and what was the aftermath?
I doubt I will break up with him, I'm a chicken and I guess I still love him, but this has been so painful…
Thanks anon, you're a huge sweetheart. It breaks my heart mostly to see my mom and brother so devastated. We're paying a couple hundred dollars to have a stuffed animal clone to give to my little brother (he's 25) to hopefully have him feel a little better and less alone.
I have a dog who is 13 and I just know she's going to pass within a year or so. It hurts, and even though I'm mentally preparing for it, I'm still going to be very devastated when it happens. I'm probably going to call out of work for a week and not be functional for a couple of months. It sucks.
Thanks anon. I got a little nap in and then when out to do errands all day. I'm doing okay now. But because I have a huge black eye there was some things I couldn't get done. I just moved and haven't introduced myself to the neighbors yet but how can I with a messed up face. I'm trying to not be a shut-in any more but I also cancelled my plans for tonight…
Two years ago, I was a better person. Nowadays, it hurts to look in the mirror.
I went from having a wide social circle to three friends. I burned those bridges on my own. I had a nice figure, and then promptly wrecked it by fluctuating between binge-eating and starving. I thought I could do a lot of things. Instead I did nothing.
Sure, I was still depressed two years ago. At least that girl wasn't a loser who fails to do anything more than getting out of bed and taking a shit in the morning. Wow, what an accomplishment! Hand the lolcow an Oscar for Worst Actress of 2018 - nay, perchance the decade!
I'm a piece of shit for typing this out and wanting…I don't know. Validation feels hollow. People who have actual problems, like those in this thread, deserve the empathy.
Maybe I just want to thank the people who're still around by not dumping these stewing thoughts onto them. Maybe I just want my boyfriend to dump me. He deserves someone better. Maybe then I'd have the courage to actually kill myself.
Like I said, I don't know. I've gotten so sick of trying to get better, to get myself out of my dry and scaly skin, that I've lost all willpower to try again. Almost everyone's given up on me. If my parents were around, they'd be ashamed of their daughter today.
I hate myself and my tears. They taste like salt and self-absorption. I want to be grittier, happier, worthier. I don't know how to be good enough for myself and those who still believe in me.
I'm the anon who spilled soda on their laptop here >>5774
While i was busy with fixing my laptop i had to leave my student home and leave my hamster for 3 days.After i returned he seemed fine as usual,we played a bit and thats all.Next night i had my bf and a friend over,we stayed up until 2am and even after my friend left my hamster didn’t wake up so i tought he was sleeping and i didnt touch him.Next morning i found him dead outside where he normally sleeps.I couldn't even pet him,give him his favourite snacks or even say that i love him so so much for a last time.I feel so awful and i can't deal with this sadness at all.A coworker of my mom gave him to her shen he was so little(because their toddler tried to squeeze him a lot).I've had him since the beginning of the university.I had no friends,noone to talk or spend time with.This little fucker always tried to escape from me but he was my everything.I built a big cage,tunnels and such.I’d talk to him,let him wander freely in big rooms,buy all kinds of veggies and nuts for him.
And after all the crap happened in 2-3 years i thought i was going to put everyting in place,feel good and do better again..i lost the thing i loved most.And couldn’t even spend time with him because i was busy with other minor problems.
I honestly have noone to talk about this except my bf(which im trying to avoid the topic because he loved him as much as me and i don’t want to see him sad anymore,it’s been 5 days already)i wanted to went here my feelings.Nothing brings back the dead so please spend time with all your loved ones anons..I love you so much Pamuk and i will never ever forget you my little fluffy ball of happiness.
You had him for 2-3 years? Boo thats the life expectancy of a hamster, little fella had to go sometime soon.
why the cattiness? death sucks even if it's expected.
Sometimes I feel so strange and different from others, and not in a good way. Today a girl from my math class started talking to me and I was so awkward that I think I started to make her feel uncomfortable and it made me feel bad. I slur and stutter when I speak a lot, making it so it's difficult to understand what I'm saying and the person has to ask me to repeat myself often (one time someone asked me if I was foreign, it was so bad). I've been told before that I come off as unapproachable as well, just from how I behave physically in social situations. I feel like such a loser for not being able to socialize with others correctly.
I'm a big loser and I physically make myself cringe with how much of an actual degenerate I am lmao
i moved nearly 1,000 miles across the country to live with my sister and help take care of her after she was diagnosed with bipolar 1 and started experiencing pretty extreme delusions.
she thought the government/big pharma was after her, media and technology were being manipulated, & that she was going to be killed by either the FBI or CIA because she knew too much.
she had to be involuntarily hospitalized when this first happened, but she got out after a few days and seemed to be steadily recovering. things were getting better until this weekend, when she had a relapse and now it's just as bad as it was before. the delusions are different now. she thinks that this is a war between good and evil, god and satan, order and chaos. she keeps on saying how reality has been 'subverted'.
the worst part is, she doesn't believe that i'm really her sister anymore, or that our parents are real, either. we took her to a psychiatrist yesterday and he gave her a prescription that he said should help, and she says she's been taking her meds but I can't trust her to tell me the truth anymore because she thinks that i'm being manipulated by evil, and that i'm trying to manipulate her. i love my sister and she's always been someone that i looked up to and one of the smartest people that i know, and now it feels like i am watching her mind disintegrate in front of me and i can't help her. every conversation that we've had in the last three days has just made me cry afterwards.
normally in this situation i would try to talk to a friend, but i don't know anyone in this city, and i don't think even the people i used to know in my old home could help me right now. it feels wrong to complain about this, anyways, she can't help how her perception of the world has changed.
the only people who know the full extent of the situation already are my parents, but i can't say what i'm thinking or how upset i am because they're already so worried about her and they shouldn't have to worry about me, too. i have to tell them, 'everything will be okay' even when i don't believe it myself.
and the icing on the cake of all of this is that i don't have a job yet, and she can't go back to work, and i need to come up with at least $1000 by the end of the month to pay for the rent on her house. it's probably more but i haven't seen the utility bill yet. i need to save money but all i want to do right now is go buy a handle of liquor and get piss-drunk and pretend all of this isn't happening. my heart feels like it's being squashed by the pressure.
I’m probably going to sound like the biggest bitch but here goes:
At my new job they were pretty much begging me to refer someone because they couldn’t find anyone to fill a specific role and they love referrals. I referred an old college friend because she was also looking for a job. Now she’s hired and she’s SO FJCKING ANNOYING.
She wants to do literally everything together, breaks, lunch, bathroom, etc, I never get any alone time. And when I do tell her I want to be by myself today, she gets sad and kind of pissy. She makes no effort to make any friends with her other coworkers, and I get being shy because I’m shy too, but come on. This means she depends on me for everything, and when she has a question because she doesn’t understand it, and I don’t understand it, she says “can you ask our boss then?” Bitch, you ask her!
She also wants to hang out outside of work on the weekends, I ain’t got time for that plus I see you every damn day and we don’t even talk about anything. I started pushing my lunch back to 1pm so I wouldn’t have to eat with her, then she started pushing hers back to 1pm too! If you’re that extroverted, go make some friends, stop depending on me because I’m jntroverted as fuck.
I'm so stupid.
I noticed i have a really small white stain/spot in the corner of my iris that i didn't see before and of course, i had to google like an idiot, so now i am fucked up and paranoid thinking i might have an eye ulcer.
Would you like someone to talk to?
You sound a lot like me. How old are you, if it's ok to ask? If you're still young it's normal to feel like this, just know that it will get better with time and you'll become more comfortable with not being naturally very good with people. If you really wish to change then you can do it. It's a skill that can be trained like any other.
I haven't been on facebook for more than half a decade, and a few days ago I decided to make a fake account to stalk some people I fell out of touch with.
I'm feeling all sorts of emotions right now, disturbance and jealousy the most. Some of the people I used to know I could hardly even recognise.
i think i might have lost a long time friend
and the worst part of it is that I don't really care. I've done nothing to try to save that friendship as we drifted apart. i never asked if something was wrong. even now I don't want to talk to her or try to fix anything
the only thing that makes me sad is that it makes me a shitty friend, and im tired of hating myself but i have no reasons to not to
I'm getting overly emotional about things that hardly matter, but I can't bring myself to care about what's actually important
we've been frens since we were children, but I'm already starting to forget whatever we shared together. I don't miss her and I don't know why
I'm angry and frustrated, i dont know what the fuck i want anymore
>Can't find a job good enough to support myself/move in with my boyfriend even though I have a degree and 4 years of experience because the country is shit and everything is expensive as fuck
>Feel like my mental and emotional health has been deteriorating
>Eating disorder is back again
>My current job is far from home and doesn't pay me enough
>Grown out of imageboards which is a good thing but I don't have much else to do online besides YouTube
>Tired all the time
>Nauseous all the time
It's probably my fault, but I'm still annoyed lol.
>live on campus residence
>wake up before dawn on Sunday or Monday to do laundry to avoid laundry drama
>on this particular morning all the dryers are used/out of order
>"well, it's not gonna get any better than this", wash my shit anyway
>come back right after wash cycle is done (I always do this)
>dryers are still full
>take his clothes out and neatly place them off to the side, even take care not to have his lame boxers completely exposed
>start dry cycle
>come back, and see his petty ass came for his shit, and also took out my shit mid cycle so they're all still wet
>judging by the empty dryers, this guy had three for himself
I need to move lol
i know this feel. at first it made me really bitter and unhappy towards this person. later i just came to realize that they weren't really a friend to me anymore. it takes two people to maintain a relationship and you shouldn't feel bad if you drift apart, life happens. and some people really do change drastically over time, and it's not healthy to keep them in your life after a certain point even if you had a friendship long ago; it doesn't make you a shitty friend. if you don't miss her, there's probably a reason for that. but trying to keep a friendship going for the sole sake of nostalgia isn't worth it.
I'm late on my period, way past due. I thought it could of been because of February was a short month I could of been just a bit late but now I'm just plain paranoid. I told my boyfriend and he seems confident I'm not and it could just be stress but I can't help but still be worried. We're getting a pregnancy test later today and try to see what's going on. But if I am I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't even know how abortion processes work. It's all stressing me all out plus midterms are still going on so I feel like I'm going to explode>>6065
I know how you feel anon I had a friend I drifted apart from because she had a shitty boyfriend and it made us just not talk anymore. It wasn't her fault or anything I just didn't wanna be apart of that. Soon enough your friend will be a distant memory and you'll move on. I also agree with >>6069
that relying on memories isn't worth it because of that could mean you miss the old version of her not who she is to you now.
I hate shit like this.
>need to wash and dry clothes before a trip>all machines taken except one, about to put my clothes in there>guy shouts from the other side of the room "i'm going to use that">guy is using all the other machines too, including 2 of the 3 dryers>other dryer full of clothes someone forgot to pick up
fuck it, washed by hand because I can't lose time>go back, hope I get there before guy takes the other dryer too>forgotten clothes still there
There are some abortive teas if you are early on in your pregnancy. Cinammon tea is one that comes to mind, but there are stronger ones, look it up. BTW, Cinammon tea helps with your period. It makes it come down faster.
>repress feelings every time I get a crush out of fear of rejection
>none of the people I like reciprocate my feelings so it's pretty easy
>pretend I don't feel anything until I really don't
>find out current guy I'm low-key crushing on might like me
>can't concentrate on anything
>can't stop thinking about him
What is this? I didn't ask for this. I'm not even sure he actually likes me back but I'm freaking out. Honestly part of me hopes he doesn't like me so I can forget about him already and move on.
Is there a song for this kind of feel? For when you've never been so in love before and everything is weird and new and horrible in the best possible way? Music is my only coping mechanism so I feel like I need this.
I am horribly anxious about my own voice. It sounds childish, it's not even that high pitched but still annoying. I can't stand hearing myself talk. My self esteem is already low and my voice just makes it worse, I wish I was mute or something. I could just use sign language instead. My accent is fucked up too because English is not my native language but I use it a lot and I won't even voice chat with my online friends aka the only friends I have because of that. I want to have a soft, cute voice.
Same, except my voice is really deep. Doesn't suit me at all. :/
Something that I found that helps is finding (voice) actors/musicians that have a similar voice
Next time you see his shit, leave a note where you nicely call him a man child for that. Also, report him to the campus services for leaving his laundry laying around after the cycle is done. It's common knowledge that people will pull your stuff out if you leave it laying in the machines.
I know it's mainly in my head, but I feel like my boyfriend doesn't love me anymore how he used to. Hurts so badly.
Honestly if people are having issues like >>6072
PLEASE just stand up for yourself and tell these guys to fuck off.
If he's using two machines already I'd point that out and just start loading my washing with my eyebrow raised through the roof. Stand your ground with these entitled rude pissbabys.
Mine is low and scratchy.
When i was in kindergarten i swore myself to never talk again because i hated it so much.
As a student my worst nightmare was singing and reading out loud in front of class, since i became hoarse so quickly (especially in the morning); same for presentations.
A lot of teachers alway asked me if i had a cold and i usually said yes out of embarassment.
Some of my classnates even wrote that i sound like a goat during puberty in our graduation book.
When i'm outside i always try to speak in a very quiet, cutesy voice (even though that probably doesn't suit me at all) and only at home i allow myself to let out my natural voice.
I feel like I may be developing ocd
i mean, obviously the guy wasn't in the laundry room when >>6072
was there, so…how is she supposed to stand up for herself or stop him when a face-to-face interaction didn't even take place?
occasionally i get hit with the fact that i've got zero (0) friends and nearly all of my interactions are over various chans like this. made me a bit sad.
>friends can't or don't want to hang out with me even though we talk on a regular basis online and I ask them if they want to hang out with me as often as I can
>couldn't find an internship and don't have classes anymore, stuck with a shitty retail job with annoying as fuck coworkers and managers until next school year
>the coworkers I liked when I got the job aren't here anymore or got different shifts
>one of them is in another department than mine since some months ago and we have different shifts and I barely see him anymore. I had a huge crush on him and it's not completely gone
>mfw I feel more and more lonely and can't do much about it
>mfw the best part of the week is when (or rather if) I get to see my crush at work for a few minutes
ooooh fuck, the kpop general i browse over at 4fun just held this synctube thing for the people that post guys.
it was entertaining tbh.
also reminded me of how friendship starved i am. rip
I never really cared about stretchmarks nor do I mind them on myself or others. But I must admit that the ones that are deep, look like holes with web inside freak me out a little. I'd still touch them out of curiosity tho
I've never seen stretchmarks like that, wtf. It looks pretty cool though. If I had them (or a gf/friend who was comfortable with them) I'd be running my fingers over them all the time.
My landlord is so rude and manipulative and narcissistic and she keeps taking advantage of me and I don’t know what to do. She also is constantly yelling at her husband and secretary and their company has only 1 Star on Yelp. I emailed her saying that the electric company put my payments on her account (so now she has a credit of several hundred dollars that I paid) and I need those switched over to my account to pay my balance (this is what the electric company told me to do). She called me screaming at me saying it’s not her fault and that I screwed up and she’s not going to call them because they hate her and now my electricity is probably going to get shut off because I’m the one who screwed up. What the fuck? She’s not human. All she has to do is call the company and say “switch these payments over to this account” but she refuses. Over the phone I wasn’t able to get a single word in and I nearly shit my pants from her yelling at me, my stomach just kept dropping. What the fuck do I do?
These can't be normal stretch marks, she has to have some sort of condition. Wow…
I want so badly to go back to college for a decent degree in something that can get me a solid job. I'm stuck in a shitty retail job following an attempt at a trade career I went to school for a little over a year for, and I feel like I can't land a better job unless I have better education credits. However, while I finished the earlier course to get the license required for the career, I didn't complete the coursework required to actually graduate the course. I couldn't focus on the paperwork during the latter half of the year due to a lot of stress between family and problems with the college itself, so I don't have the diploma from that year, and come next October it'll be five years since I took that course. I want to go back to school, my family wants me to go back to school, but I'm so scared that I've gone and fucked up my chances for another go at college, even if I don't apply to the same college as before.
Your land lord is a psycho. You can try to call the electric company and explain what happened or you can try to talk with your land lord again but take some friends with you. Just remember that she acts this horrible to everyone and it's not your fault.>>6113
It's never to late to go study again anon. I know someone who studied when she was 30 and she makes a lot of money now.
I feel like I'm not smart enough to do what I want to do, and what I want to do is make a lot of money…then again, it may be less of an issue with my mind than it is my laziness.
Anyway, pray for me CC.
>inb4 don't live your life for money
Everything I want can only be achieved through money. Other than money, there's nothing I really wish for.
I feel like shit.
Bf broke up with me on the 1st january, we got back together by the 22nd. We met up 3 times and had a shit ton of fun, like literally never before, he even comments on it.
He's been acting weird lately, ask him what's wrong. Says he wants to break up. He's scared that the issues from the past will repeat. Okay, legit reason I guess. Except he saw with his own eyes that thing were changing and even commented on it. Manage to convince him to take a break instead of just breaking up. I mean… it's the same shit as a break up but still…
I just don't get wtf happened. I can already feel that pressure on my chest, it's back. I slightly believe him… but I'm also suspicious that he might be messing around with someone else, considering he's often on WhatsApp, which he thinks I don't use.
I don't know what to think anymore. This fucking sucks.
In two weeks the new semester will start.
I originally planned to lose weight, study, improve my hygenie, relax, meet up at least sometimes with my few friends and find a solution for my social anxiety (i wanted to try medititating and CBT).
But i ended up doing nothing.
If i don't manage to at least find a single friend, i have no idea how to go on.
I'm so extremely anxious about every little thing, just thinking about classes, exams and eventually having to graduate makes me want to puke. My grades are also not very good, since i always skip classes (or quit them completely) and i don't study because my motivation i absolutely zero.
This really isn't how i imagined my life to be…
I know that some will tell me to join a club, but i already did and so far it hasn't worked out.
My dream has always been to go to Japan, but i did't even study for that, so there's probably no way i'll manage not to fail the JLPT in summer, so that als won't come true. (And i'm so lazy and unmotivated that this doesn't even bother me too much…)
As a summary, my life is shit, but i could deal with every single thing, if i just had friends, that's truly my only wish.
i don't really care anymore
I made friends with this group of people at uni. One guy in particular annoys me so much.
He's apparently gained enough weight that none of his clothes fit him properly, but he's too cheap/delusional to just buy a couple more shirts in a bigger size. I'm talking about, his t-shirts ride up and on button shirts, the buttons are either very strained or just pop open if he moves too much. He also smells really bad if you get too close in a place with no ventilation.
He has that kind of domineering personality, where he's totally hype for whatever as long as he's in the center of everything, but completely tunes out if he's not.
He has this thing where occasionally he'll slip into a weird """posh""" sounding accent (despite being from bumfuck, USA) but idk if that's because he's a tryhard or autistic.
There's something about him that isn't quite socially natural, but idk if it's something like astigmatism or if he's actually censoring himself because the male progressive meme.
I'm happy, more active and social, I love my friends, my course work is being really recognized by professors, I'm on the honor roll. But I'm going to drive myself CRAZY with stress from taking 6 classes in college. my most important one im failing, partially due to being taught by an idiot with a 3 on ratemyprofessors, but ironically I now need a job on top of it to even keep attending.
I live extremely far from campus and its costing $15 and 6 hours bus commute per day to get there, but the financial aid office only gives us half the money for 2/3rds of the semester and the rest at the END of the semester when we don't need it anymore so we only get $1500 for about 7 months at the beginning of the school year (none for winter) and the other half with only one week left in class.
After materials, books, one emergency outfit, my groceries list of only beans/oats/rice, bills, rent, and transport I have approximately $30 left for the buses which cost $15 a day (or a $200 monthly pass). I have a job interview tomorrow and also sent in my student loan application for the extra $2k that will save my life, but I have no idea what to do while that money is going to take at LEAST 2 weeks IF i get the job, and the loans will take well over a month for the office to process. After my mom messed up my credit score to 570 I'm seriously considering talking with a loan shark.
A big maraschino cherry on top of that ongoing situation is that my idiot uncle got arrested again, had my dad bail him out for $70k last night, and now his wife, her parents and their 8 homeschool children (only two are older than 10) who never go outside are now crammed into our house until they can find a decent homeless shelter with 12 long term spaces. his wife's elderly paraplegic cancer survivor mom and disabled elderly dad of course are now in my bed all day, which I pay up to 700 a month pretty much only to sleep in (its an unwritten situation in which my mom asks for any random amount of hundreds entirely spontaneously so I cant save or budget my money at all), and their whole family who usually cant afford to bathe use MY personal bathroom/shower. you can imagine how long it takes to bleach clean enough for my OCD ass to use it.
The notice was so short that i didn't even have time to get all my things last night, and now I have to live on my sisters filthy bug infested floor out of a backpack in the corner. I catch the bus at 7am and won't get home until 9pm, so I am utterly exhausted every day. I can barely study with the noise we already had from my (adult) NEET siblings who party at 3 am but the total of 12 children and 4 adults who live like children i have NO silence to study in. The waiting list on the shelter might take months, or my dad will probably have to buy them another house (which also will take months).
This among other things like missing class, my brothers regularly stealing furniture even if it used to be embedded in my wall (leaving a gaping hole i covered with a curtain) and moving enormous ancient furniture into my room because mom/dad said they could, everyone eating/drinking my sparse vegan food, being the only one who cleans the house, being a 3rd class citizen here in general, are all telling me i might be better off moving into a shitty filthy dorm with 6 roommates close to school if I get the job.
Kind of on the bright side my mom's pedophile brother who used to kiss me as a child had a heart attack last night and needs surgery, but he cant get it because the nurse ripped his corkscrew artery. He raped a 15 year old girl in 2011, blamed her, is completely broke and cant take care of his 10 kids and 3 ex wives or 1 current wife, but he keeps trying to get me to live with him in south korea and adopt me. I guess he finally took the hint and started ignoring me since last christmas. He's been killing himself by eating mountains of greasy fast food daily and gained 200 lbs presumably with guilt for years, but everyone pretends he's so innocent for some reason and they keep expecting me to care, but I'm really hoping he dies soon.
ALSO, the extremely hot, funny, fashionable french girl enrolled in our school's international program called me really pretty last week and I've kind of gotten a little crush on her. that is all.>>5980
anon I feel so sorry for you. I have a little syrian teddy of my own and if i couldn't come home and cuddle her after my stressful hellish days, i dont know what i'd do.
i'm a bisexual girl who has only had sex with a girl once (it was a sugar baby situation, dude paid us to have sex with him), but i loved it and want to have sex with more girls. the thing is, it's so hard to find a girl to hook up with, i don't really get it.
Hey anon, one step at a time. Focus on something small and completable and work up from there. Dont get lost in the big picture! You can do it.
i wish i could kill myself.
>self harming again after 3-4 years without doing it
>being harrassed by a shit stain of a person
>hate my current body
>crappy job, little payment
>not taking my antidepressant daily because i keep forgetting it
>25 years old, feel like a fucking baby emotionally speaking
k i l l m e
REEE i dropped and broke my favorite eyeshadow which i'm positive was a limited edition, curse you butterfingers.
looks like my hdd just crashed. feeling happy that i got 50 bucks om amazon to buy a new one, but bothered because, it just had to do this during a time when i honestly need a computer. i feel like numb poop.
i'm trying to unscrew the back of the laptop to maybe…idk, get it prepared but the screws won't come out. maybe bc im using a butter knife
I feel very sick and idk why. I think it has to do with my stomach. I hope it goes away soon.
>move in with a boyfriend who I know doesn’t love me as much as I love him, but will financially support me with everything
>live poor and alone the rest of your life because you’re too dumb to get any high paying job
Make him love you. Become That Bitch.
Go live with your boyfriend for now BUT don't stop working and keep trying to pursue a better job. If you know he doesn't love you that much the chances of him breaking up are higher and you don't want to stay without any money if the relationship falls apart. Listen to my advice and save yourself from future problems.
I want everyone who knew me to forget about our interactions, so desperately.
What do I do to become That Bitch, anon?
Do you live with your family? Or just the two of you?
I'm an actual failure. I have such difficulty learning to drive. I feel terrified in general of being driven - I feel like I will die or my loved ones will die. It's even worse when I'm the driver. I don't want to be the cause, even indirectly, of someone withering away.
Even when I don't feel terrified, I feel unable to concentrate. I'm always thinking and it's like when I drive, that mind conversation can't be switched off. It's super distracting. Worst of all, no one believes me, the people who want me to drive. But I do, too….it's just insanely difficult. I've failed all three drive tests and I got a new permit. I'm scheduled for antoher test, soon.
one of my close friends is going to kill herself. i don't know when, but i've accepted it's going to happen. i already talked to her, tried to convince her to go to therapy, talked to her parents (they're in denial) and nothing i did seemed to help and now she is pushing me away. i thought i recovered from my depression but i've relapsed again and want to hurt myself so badly (for various reasons, not just because of my friend).
It's okay to take your time, anon. You'll get your license when you're ready. There's nothing wrong with that. It's better than the alternative where you end up in a dangerous situation due to fear.
Lots and lots of self-improvement. Strut the stuff, get confident (even if you gotta fake it at the start) and be better to yourself, esp if you put others before your own needs.
Also purdy yourself up more often if you don't already and have fun!
it's okay anon, my mom failed those tests several times in a row but she's an alright driver now
I really hate myself. I wish I could be normal like everyone else.
I wish I could just die already, I'm sick and tired of doing things.
I should really stop reading braincels/trp/r9k because it fucks with my view of men and makes me miserable, but it's almost compulsive.
Maybe when I finally get sex and romance a man or have more contact with normies when uni starts it will improve. I'm tired of stewing in my own shit and making my own problems.
I'm not allowed to do my laundry because it's easter.
It's my first easter at home after 6 years and now I'm remembering why I fucking hate any holiday. I wish I had somewhere to go so I wouldn't have to listen to my mother, but nothing works today. Also my brothers gf is here, who my mother basically worships so now I'll have to listen how great she is and I'm just a pos compared to her. Yey.
It's 11am and the day is already shit
…and one of my favourite characters just died. Fml
From my experience, even on this shithole called r9k you can occasionally find postings of guys who are not rotten and hateful, just depressed and hopeless. Not all of them are misogynists but sadly those who are, are the loudest and make the entire group look bad. Generally you can distinguish between anons who hate the entire world and see nothing wrong with them and those who hate themselves and understand that they are the source of their problems.>>6248
be strong and hold on. Soon it will be over.
BTW we have those silly rule here as well. Some appartements even forbid you to fill the bathtub on holidays.
To this point I still think most of them have no idea what a woman even is, they are just underages who spam "REEEEE ROASTIE" just to make noise and perpetuate the spirit of the board. Maybe I'm wrong but their posts look like they're literal duplicates which don't transmit any message, don't have any essence whatsoever.>>6248
But easter is over one week. Are you guys catholic?
Good to know I'm not alone lol>>6252
I'm not but my mother is
>waiting for a job interview and realizing how shitty I look
Yea…great. should've put in more effort ffs
I am so done with you, you are a piece of shit who will never change. a lazy ass slob who did disgusting things and who will keep on being a disgusting slob until death. I just want to push you away and the only reason I don't is because of my own weak ass personality and because of the good memories. I'm afraid of being alone or running out of a fucking plan B… But this is so tiring. I can't get over the disgusting things you did, you sicko. You ruined everything beautiful that we had, and if your family knew about what you did they would be disgusted, you piece of shit. We have nothing in common anymore. I really hope you get tired of me and leave me alone no matter how much it would hurt me in a weird way. Go away.
I'm never going to figure out friendship or how to flick guys away from me with ease. I get fearful easily and freeze up so it's like the conversation will keep on going even though I was alone and even though I try to look away and make long pauses evident to the guy. I wish I could just say I want to be left alone and that they'd listen and follow that command immediately. I'm weak and pathetic.
My mother is completely nuts. I can't wait until I move out.
This may be my only chance to fuck in years because of how socially retarded I am, but at the same time the circumstances are terrible.
>had a fling with a guy years ago but never went to bed with him
>things slowed down, we ended it and stayed friends
>guy got a girlfriend
>guy and girlfriend constantly fight
>guy asks me on a date
>hits on me
>i say we should hang out as friends and not have "real" date because he has a girlfriend
>but I know
>and he knows
Things may not happen during this first time we're going to hang out in ages but they may soon. I feel like a piece of shit but I'm so alone. I haven't been kissed or touched in several years and I'm a loner. I just want to be touched and kissed and enjoy being in a guy's arms for a while. I'm not in love with him but he makes me feel so comfortable. In a normal situation I'd probably just say no right away but I want it so bad. We're going to see each other next week.
What should I do? I want honest answers from people who are in a similar situation as me, borderline wizards. Other people just won't get it because they don't know what is like to be completely untouched and alone for years and feel like no one will ever do anything with you, it's easy to judge harshly if you have sexual and romantic experience and don't know what is like to feel like you're running out of chances to experience sex and affection.
He clearly doesn't care about his girlfriend if he's actively pursuing dates with other women. You can say you're going to hang out as "just friends" to mitigate the guilt you're feeling, but if what you're saying is true, you know that no sugarcoating makes it right. Be firm and tell him that you won't see him until he is no longer in a relationship. If he decides to stay with his girlfriend, congrats. You will be acting like a moral person.
Don't do it, anon. Imagine if you were the girlfriend, how would you feel? He's an asshole but if you went through with it, you would be as guilty as he is. Tell him he's a dick and to break up with his gf.
Be a slut and do it, but don't be surprised when karma eventually hits.
>>6314>Be a slut and do it, but don't be surprised when karma eventually hits.
ask me how I know you're a male
I don't see why she shouldn't. I would feel like I'm asking to be fucked by karma if I did, so I wouldn't, but I thought I'd share my perspective. Geez.
Literally the only reason you shouldn't do it is not to hurt his gf. Your sexual lust is the second-rate priority here. But to me it seems like their relationship is pretty much over so what's there to stop you? Take in account that there's also a chance she will never hear of the affair or that she will hear of it too late, when she's done with it.
Why don't you bring in more dets about them? Is there any chance they get back together and you fuck that up? Is their relationship so degenerated he has to look for an escapade to bear it or is it legitimately cheating? Has she cheated on him yet? Does she still love him? Is she more worthy than you are?
pic pretty much related
Karma isn't real, anon. If karma was real life would be a lot
different and there would always be justice in one way of another, but most of the time there isn't any. And I'm not talking just about something small like cheating, but big crimes too, like killers and thieves. Those things can destroy lives way worse than a cheater, and affect tons of people, and several times the criminals walk away freely or don't even pay in any way whatsoever, living good lives til the end. It is fucked up.
tl;dr Karma isn't real. If something bad happens in the end it can be a direct consequence of your choices, but there isn't any kind of bullshit energy out there telling you that you will pay for hurting someone else's feefees.
hey everyone, thanks for the replies. I am still unsure of what I should do. We're going to see each other next week, probably on Friday unless something gets on the way.
My post made it seem like we were going to meet up and go straight to a bedroom or something like that because I was anxious since we had just decided to hang out. I know he wants to, of course, and so do I, but we will be out in public in the middle of the day… so something happening this Friday seems unlikely. If something sexual does end up happening it will definitely take longer than just a single 2 hr long date, it would probably take a few more dates. I think the "worst" thing that could happen would be a few kisses (Im lowkey hoping for it)
I can't ask him to leave her because they have been together for ages and I have no interest in pursuing a romantic relationship with him, so if I asked him to end things with her and he did I'd probably have to start something romantic with him, right? I don't know. I'd love to be fwb with him, and he is the only guy I could ever do that because I'm quite the romantic and inexperienced like I explained before… but having a romantic relationship with him doesn't sound like something I'd want.
I don't know his girlfriend well enough to say if the relationship is more dead than alive. She was never friends with me, but I don't really care about her or about hurting her. Sounds harsh, but it is true since I don't know her well enough to feel anything and my own desires and needs being louder than me giving a fuck about her.
There is one thing I care about though: I don't want to feel guilty for fucking a guy that has a girlfriend. I know it is horrible and it is wrong, and I know myself well enough to know I'd carry the guilt over this for a long time. I think this is one of those cases where I need to know what I care about the most, my lack of human touch and need for sex and affection or my brain guilt tripping me for months… :/
I have no idea what to do, sorry if I just rambled more. I will probably update you guys after we see each other.
Seriously? you are so fucking selfish. Tell him to break up with his gf before you fuck him at least. You're worse than a robot.
I mean, I think a lot of people care about others they don't personally know. A man wanted me to perform sexual acts with him and even though I didn't personally know his girlfriend, just the thought of the pain she'd go through made me screenshot the conversation and send them to her. If she's been with this guy for years, just imagine how horrid it'd feel if you thought you were with this guy you loved and then it turns out after years he not only doesn't, but that he'd also been cheating on you.
I get you aren't used to physical contact and want it, but like, you're going to get it one day regardless. Don't let your first kiss be one you feel guilt about.
On the other hand, even though I think it's best to tell the person cheated on, I still think it's always the cheater's fault, not the person the cheater cheated on their significant other with. They can always say no.
if you really don't know what to do you're a piece of shit
Devil pepe anon here>I don't care about his girlfriend
Welp, that's it. You're a horrible shell fish person (and I understand you, but that doesn't make you any better, not even in my eyes) and you should totally go ahead and fuck him. For real. Unless you have some other reason for feeling guilt, like, idk, religious ones (though I highly doubt that). But no, he's oFfICiaLlY in a relationship and you were probably brainwashed into thinking that cheating, or helping him to cheat, in this situation, is bad. Like many other anons ITT. It's not relevant to their bond whether you fuck with him or not.>You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:27-28)
It seems like both of you are horrible twats who need emotional and sexual support. Just imagine how hard will the poor girl be destroyed and how impassive you 2 will be to her suffering. But hey, at least you have each other.
I hope you die alone. I hate people like you, you selfish, deplorable, ~uwu~ im getting guilt tripped by my brain, anon.
nta but you are all so hypocritical. this always happens. we had a thread here and a long time ago on lc full of cheaters and people who were thinking about cheating and it was fine in your book because ~feelings~ and ~regret~. shes just admitting explicitly that she doesn't care about some random instead of lying like a bunch of you did.
admitting you don't care about someone youre not friends with is not a crime and most of us probably don't care about our friends SO unless we personally know them. or are you going to disagree and lie again? shes not attacking her or ~stealing~ the girls boyfriend. she's also not the one cheating because she's single. the real dick here is the guy but whatever.
Yikes, aren't you guys going a bit overboard?
She obviously knows it's wrong, that's why she's conflicted. Chill out.>>6329
If you make him leave his girlfriend that doesn't mean you owe him anything or need to instantly be his girlfriend.
You could tell him you're not comfy meeting him like that until he settles things with his girlfriend and let him make the choice, without asking him to dump her and without hinting that once he does you two will get together.
While it's not just your "fault" and it's him actually cheating, it's still wrong.
If you're not interested in a romantic thing with him you're probably better off looking for somebody else than get into something that might become messy later.
Actually she isn't even wrong.
A guy who will cheat his gf because of a fight isn't anyway worth much.
Any normal relationship can survive such things and if he is so easy to go fuck some other girls then its even better for everyone if this relationship doesn't last.
My tip go fuck with him but don't be his gf.
takes two to tango, they're both dicks. if she didn't know about her it'd be different.
Yea, you're right. Like I said both of them are probably going through hard times and need emotional support, and that's without knowing the other side of the story, what has the girlfriend done to the guy and assuming she gives a damn about him fucking one more girl.
Sorry for being harsh and I suggest you to do what this anon just said. At least try to minimize the collateral damage.
I'm being an insecure, irrational and salty bitch tbh
>bf doesn't answer messages like usual
>see that he's constantly online on Whatsapp
>like, he won't check the app we use for hours or reply, but is on whatsapp at least every 30 minutes
>jokingly tell him if he could leave the app for a second and actually reply to me
>"uhh we're organizing tomorrow training"
Every day? From literally 7am until 9pm? Sure mate.
I don't mind him having friends, being in the gym for 3 hours, having fun and shit but stop being a cunt and actually reply to me you fucker. If you can check fucking whatsapp then you can reply to me too
I'm so over LC mods being incompetent as fuck and letting disgusting shit stay on the board for hours.
EVERY fucking day i go to /ot/, no matter the hour, there is child porn, which stays there for HOURS even after reporting it.
I would vent about it there and hope for some change (which i did a while ago to no avail) but i'm 99% sure that i will see CP if i go to /ot/, i don't even have to look to just know. If everything else going on was making my interest for going to LC minimal this is making me want to stop visiting altogether.
Makes me appreciate how quick the mods here are to delete and ban stuff.
that's not irrational at all unless you're messaging him the kind of stuff that doesn't need a reply or is very, very unimportant. part of being your boyfriend is being your friend.
I'm not the only one who sees that the anatomy is off, right??
Bf is going to this artist and honestly a lot of his stuff is really hit or miss. I'm a bit worried…
The wings look good but the body looks totally off. It already looks like it's fading? Do you have an example of the artist's better work?
Now that you mention it, a lot of them look like they're faded
Bf already got 2 tattoos done by him and they don't look bad or faded but I'm still worried when I see stuff like this or some of the other work that is anatomically off or wonky.
her arms, butt crack and legs look so terrible
Has he always been like this? There's only so long you can go organizing something before it's just another part to a larger problem. >>6369
Maybe this guy isn't that great at drawing people/the human body? I think the wings on this one and the flowers and lion in the other pic look fine.
Are your bf's previous tattoos from him of people? Is he getting a person?
He's getting something similar to the girl with the lion. So I guess it should be okay
I wish I could punch people.
start taking boxing classes then anon-kun
because women can't do boxing, amirite hahaha
so i give up on trying to make friends. could type up an essay on why, but i won't, so here's a sum up; nobody wants to be bothered with me & i'm tired of constant rejections (online & off). like, i'm just too boring to be liked. there are so many rotten sides to my personality, my interests are skewed and "weird", even to people online that share them…….there's just no ground for me to stand on with other people.
sorry to everyone who had to deal with me before. and apologies to anyone in the future that wants to hang, but. i give up.
If you're weak and have a boyfriend, you could punch him in the stomach.
Someone linked to this site on 8chan /r9k/ about an hour ago.>>6396
this is probably a cuckold.
I HATE GROUP WORK. I HATE IT SO MUCH. I HATE JHFAJKFHFKHJAFHJK HATE HATE HATE IT. EVERYONE IS SO HARD TO WORK WITH. MY FRIEND HAS CHANGED EVERYTHING AND ITS WRONG NOW. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
everything is horrible and im too stupid to fix anything and its always like this anyway
I stopped running and chasing after my bf because I'm tire of it. For once I didn't send a message first and guess what? It's now 1:30pm and he still didn't contact me, but did log on a few times.
I'm tired of this shit. He said he didn't have any plans for today except driving his mother to the airport and his brother to uni, which CAN'T take longer than 7 fucking hours. He really can't take 20 seconds to send an emoji or morning message, really? Get fucked.
I'm p sure this is also my pms speaking right now, but fucking hell I'm done
I don't think not sending messages for a few days is bad. Some people just aren't the type to contact others that frequently and prefer to say things in person. He could have thought you were too busy for messages anyway since usually you are the one to start contacting him.
I had drunken mindless sex with someone I met from tinder for the first time and the guy kept saying sweet things to me and he seems to actually like me but I feel very inadequate and feel like he;s lying, fml
He most likely is lying, you met him on tinder and had drunk sex with him. Come on, anon.
I think aging isn't as bad as people make it out to be.
Since I got older I'm a lot more respected. People actually listen to my ideas instead of just treating me as some rebellious young person. I also have a lot more life experience and better skills. Being friends or in a relationship with people my age is also easier because almost everyone is more mature.
So In my Computer science class I haven't attended for one month and a half (I watch the lectures online instead cause I'm extremely depressed atm and don't want to go outside, I'm getting help right now.) Basically, I returned for the midterm, I don't really smile a lot and the guy behind me said: "she's so mean, and never comes to class, what's wrong with her".
That shit pissed me off, cause he was right behind me and I can CLEARLY hear him, I guess he thought I didn't know English cause I look foreign? I don't know, but I really got angry and it ruined my day :/ Why are people so rude? I'm not smiling cause I'm not fucking happy, I hate how some people are entitled to my smile, sorry I'm not happy enough for you -_-
That's so rude. I know the feeling, anon. I have problems with the same sometimes. People want you to smile for no reason otherwise they think you're being rude. I always smile when I get to places just to make things easier for myself, then I let myself sulk after.
This is my dream. I hate not being respected because people tend to think I'm younger than I am. Even when they learn my age, it's like that image of however old they thought I was is stuck in their head.
>wake up passionate about working on personal project
>also incredibly horny to the point of being distracted
>nothing is helping
I have pharyngitis right now and my boyfriend and my mom are caring for me, but I still feel like crap. I need my voice to work. This is horrible.
I'm really sad and have nobody to talk to. I feel like when I open up and say what I'm really struggling with I become a huge joke that everybody can have fun mocking because I'm so pathetic and stupid. So then that discourages me from opening up because I know I shouldn't, and everything gets worse because it all gets built up inside and I don't know how to handle all of it. I'm trying very hard to be one of those people who is completely stoic and doesn't let things bother them even when they really do but I'm just so sad and full of self hatred and anger towards myself that it hurts and I fail at that.
I've tried keeping a journal because I used to when I was younger, but I can never get back into it like I used to be. I get so embarrassed by everything I write that I'll make it two days and then want to rip out the pages so I never have to remember anything I said. It doesn't help at all.
I just feel so hopeless and it's only getting worse. I wish I could stop being this way and just be a normal person that isn't a pathetic laughing stock. And here I am doing it again but idk.
I hope this doesn't sound retarded, but you know how you rip the paper after writing your embarrassing feelings? Maybe you could do that in a "cerimonial" way because lots of people do that when they have feelings they want to let go of, or vent. Write with the purpose of really getting rid of the paper, maybe by burning it or cutting it into tiny pieces with a pair of scissors. Sounds silly but it can be helpful and release stress too. Hope you feel better.
My ""friend"" always comes to ask how I'm doing just to vent and complain about wanting to die. I don't want to hear that especially right now when I am really sick, I've been on and out the hospital since the weekend and doctors don't know how sure what I have. I'm in a lot of pain. Why come to ask how I'm doing if you don't really want to listen and if you know I'm in a lot of pain just to try take the chance to complain about YOUR problems? I have listened to you for way too long, even when I didn't want to because it was damaging my own mental health. I'm so done with this shit. Fuck you. If you want to pretend you care about me at least stop talking about yourself for two minutes, please.
I'm seconding the anon who said you should make it a deliberate act to rip the paper. Even if you don't save your journal, you still get the mental benefits of journaling. I really suggest you look it up. Buying and using a journal daily has really helped me.
I've been off my antidepressant for a week or so. I wish I could kill myself, I feel like total shit and like my life will never work out, and that once again even if I do everything in my power to make life happens, nothing good will happen or work because in the end, I guess it doesn't depend only on me and the other party doesn't seem like can do much.
Two of my oldest and closest friends seriously betrayed my trust and privacy a short while back, we used to do everything together and I don't have any other close friends IRL.
I'm upset because they haven't apologised since and I don't want to be the one to reach out again, but I miss what we used to do.
I'm also disgusted with them still, I just wish it never happened. I want close friend(s).
I installed Linux recently since my old HD died and reinstalling Windows wasn't an option, like the service reps lead me through a lot of hoops, hurr jus purchase Windows 10. It was nice the first week but now I'm running into constant complications. And I'm getting more than a bit frustrated because all these terms IDFK keep popping up.
They also have me feeling guilty because I want to be a programmer? Next semester I'll be taking an intro to comp sci course, yet here I am. Struggling with this. Fuck.
I hope you’re feeling better today anon. What antidepressant were you on? Why did you come off them, if you don’t mind me asking.
dont worry anon im doing a computer field major too next sem, you'll learn this stuff in time and dont feel guilty for being passionate about this shit or not knowing everything before even going into it. This shit is for a job and making it your hobby too isnt a requirement.
for NOT being passionate about this shit*
>every time i exercise i lose period for any amount of time unless i go back to eating like shit and doing nothing. yay!
>get back into exercising. 6 days a week. normally over an hour a day. sometimes 3+ hours
>happened again, period is gone for a week so far
>pms symptoms and during period symptoms but WITHOUT THE PERIOD, bloating, weight stalling, mood swings, acne, and its getting progressively worse with muscle tiredness and muscle twitching, itchiness but STILL NO PERIOD
>last time this went on for almost a month before i gave in and started eating sweets and doing nothing just to make my period appear
idk what to do lads. im in pain..
I was just listening to some people discussing artificial wombs and was actually surprised when they didn't mention killing off all women, instead talking about how it will help with premature births.
If this isn't a sign that I've been filling my head too much with what misogynists have to say I don't know what is. I've forgotten that many normal people don't actually care.
being ugly kinda sucks
being ugly and lazy? extra suckage
if i could ask god for one (1) gift it'd be the gift of self control / hard-work / whatever the term is. hate my lazy ass
>>6538>>6538>taking that conversation literally and not for the venting shits and giggles.
Male in the discord spotted.
I'm not in the discord, I was actually listening to a podcast. I'm also a girl.
I was talking about how I usually see MGTOW/redpillers always speak of artificial wombs as some sort of hope for an all male society or whatever. I just became accustomed to those two topics being so closely connected.
Oh, and samefag but I forgot to add this to clarify my stance, but it was a real relief to not hear woman hate brought up!
lolcow is fucking down… AGAIN
friendly reminder that you don't need to type sage here, you can mark the Sage box in the options.
My budgie who i loved just died and i cant stop crying she was so lovely and friendly and loved to be with me, even my cat adored her, and just a week ago she was flying around singing but a few days ago she got really ill but i thought shed make it at least until the vet wasnt on vacation, but fuck. Im almost sure she had PBFD since she showed almost all the symtomps so the odds of survival were minimal but still i had so much hope.
I am so heartbroken.
I’m so sorry anon. I have cockatiels, little birds can be so full of love and affection. I’m sure you gave her the greatest of lives, she must have loved you very much.
I was worried about the bf because for the last three days I saw him being online really late at night, and he works in the morning. Asked him what was up with that and if everything is okay. He got a bit defensive, but said he had no idea why that happened or how. Well…the last two days it didn't happen, not once.
I believe that apps can give a false online status and I don't think he lied about it. We're in a weird spot relationship wise at the moment so I'm just finding it amusing (instead of panicking or being jealous) that I could be right and that I caught him
i feel so stupid.
i've actually fucked around and formed a crush on a foreign celebrity. goddamn.
though i suppose this is better than pining after some scummy dude irl
you fucked around with said celebrity?
My friends suck. I'm so envious of people who have nice friends who they go to parties with and are close with and laugh with. I hear them in their apartments cracking up and having parties when I'm walking my dog at night. I envy seeing youtube videos of people with their friends at conventions having a blast. People with friends who go to a cabin for the weekend, large groups to go camping and on road trips with, etc.
Instead i have friends who drop off the face of the earth when they get a boyfriend, then don't invite me to their wedding or baby shower. Friends who are catty as fuck and if you say they're being dramatic they'll drop you. Friends who are too scared to talk to men, so we have no guys in our friend groups. Friends who say "it's 8pm I gotta go soon." Friends who want to hang out, then expect you to do all the talking. Friends who move across the state then don't talk to you ever again. Friends who are pathological liars and hypocrites and don't have any hobbies.
My bf has tons of friends who he's had crazy experiences with and has traveled the world with. I'm so envious of that. if we ever get married, it's going to be like five groomsmen on his side and no bridesmaids on mine. the thought of that makes me want to die.
I once traveled with friends, but it was just so boring. All they want to do is talk about their issues and take selfies. Then again, I also wonder if maybe I'M the boring one, and how the fuck do I be less boring? I have no idea.
Where in the fuck do people find cool friends? Is it even possible when you're as old as I am (27)?
You made her life enjoyable. You have great memories that live on.
its hard to get new friends, im on that journey myself.
you could try taking a random class in something like pottery or candle making. or go to a single or partner dance class then try going to social dances with your bf or any other kind of athletic class things with lots of women like yoga or netball
Thank you, kind anons. Your words cheered me up after a few rough days.
Take care, how are you feeling now?
Better, i still cannot see pics or vids of her without crying but my cat has been being extra sweet to me these past few days so it really helped me feel better.
Thank you for your kindness in asking, you are really sweet anon.
It’s okay to get emotional when seeing pictures and videos of her, one day you’ll look back at them and remember how much joy she brought to you, and how much you brought to her. <3 take it easy, grief comes with so many emotions.
I hate that I’m not normal looking, it’s all I think about. I don’t even ask to be attractive or cute, although that would be nice. People have straight up mistaken me for a man before, I have masculine features and it sucks so bad. My friends say I’m pretty, but I know they’re just being nice. And I think people think skinny(like me)=automatically pretty. I’ve tried everything to look more feminine. My hair is curly and impossible to manage. When I wear it down I look like a dude with long hair, it’s horrible.
Unexpectedly, I have a boyfriend, but he only likes me because I never talk back to him and I’m submissive, plus I spoil the hell out of him. I hate that cute/normal girls have their man spoil them instead, and they can be strong, opinionated women and their bfs will love it because they’re cute.
My only option is plastic surgery, but I can’t even afford that.
i'm sorry anon, i hope you make peace with it. you're only given one face so it's not worth obsessing over its structure, though it's true that plastic surgery can do some big things.
Would it be unethical to investigate whether my (LDR) boyfriend is cheating on me by talking to a person I'm concerned that he may be cheating with? Like
>contact "the other woman" on social media from an alt, make conversation over shared interests
>casually ask one day about sexual/relationship history, and if she's involved with any guy
>if she says "yes", basically play 20 questions and see if the guy in question is my boyfriend, taking screencaps the whole time (smoking gun would be a photo, but that'd be hard to acquire without a lot of prior trust-building)
>if it is him, say something like "Well, he has a girlfriend"
>confront boyfriend and dump him
>cut off all contact with both parties
>if it's not him, let it be (bonus: I also just made a friend, if from dubious circumstances, and I can get her to keep watch for me since I know she spends time with him IRL)
This idea just popped into mind, and I'm trying to weigh the good versus bad of it. I'm also considering looking for someone else to do it because I'm not sure I trust myself to suspend my emotions long enough to build a relationship with the other girl.
way too much work over a possibly scummy guy imo. def not worth it. better ask him directly and hope he confesses or slips up soon so you can get rid of him.
I love my boyfriend and our relationship is pretty great, but I often think about breaking up with him because I think things could be BETTER.
It's not my ideal relationship, and when I think "oh, no one ever really finds their IDEAL," I'm presented with like 500 people on Reddit who say they found the most perfect person for them on earth.
I love him, but he doesn't make me laugh very much. We can't talk about politics because it makes him get really angry, and the only time we ever go on dates anymore is when it's me initiating it and paying for it. He's also not dominate in bed which is something I feel like I need rn.
I'm 27 and want to have kids one day, we share the same future goals, but I just don't known if I'm going to be happy like this. At the same time, I don't think I'm ever going to find "the one" out there at this age. I feel like I'm settling, and I don't know if I should or not.
What gives you the impression he's cheating on you with them?
You could also ask her directly, "hey, are you seeing x?".
Little things. Once, I asked to see the messages they exchanged (he'd asked me to do similar things in the past) and he insisted he couldn't because it was too personal. We nearly broke up over it.
He used to talk to me about the stuff they'd do together, but one day after he hung out with her, he just stopped almost completely and now only mentions small things.
He said he told her about me, so I'm worried that flat out asking her if she's seeing him won't work. She might figure it's me and deny everything if I don't establish a sense of security with her. >>6698
I want to trust and believe in him, but this is gnawing at my mind. I need to know, and if it's happening, I need proof so I can put it to rest in my mind and walk away.
If he's cheating, I doubt he'd ever confess because he "values" me in a weird way, and I don't know what I can ask him that could make him slip up and expose himself.
>>6701>he insisted he couldn't because it was too personal
red flag>He said he told her about me
Could be a lie
My ex said the same things and lo and behold I found a message from his ex saying "I've been dreaming about you all week" not a day after he had returned from spending a week at his old place by himself to "take care of his cat" and was offline suspiciously often. Then I got dumped and he ran straight to her.
Oh and>I doubt he'd ever confess because he "values" me in a weird way
He doesn't value you, he's just a pussy who can't own up to his actions. There's way better guys out there.
I'm studying abroad in Tokyo and so far, not a single guy has shown interest in me. I'm really disappointed and was hoping that this would be the time for me to turn things around in a new place. I used to dress really poorly with no makeup and am starting to take care of myself more. Even with my improved looks nobody has noticed me. I feel ugly and unwanted, like all of my effort is for nothing.
Well, that's not entirely true, during our orientation events we were put into groups for a campus tour. This one guy basically kept staring at me, getting close to me, making eye contact, etc. I even tried to talk to him after he asked a question to our tour guide (I answered it instead) but I was REALLY nervous and my answer came out super quiet. He couldn't hear me and asked me to repeat myself, then didn't follow up. I was pretty embarrassed, but he still persisted in his other behavior after. Still he didn't talk to me though and I forgot about it .
Anyway like a month later anytime he sees me he stares right at me, making direct eye contact. But he still won't talk to me? It's kind of unnerving.. I don't know if he's just some weirdo or he is shy or what? Then I thought he was kind of cute, he looked kind of like a robot but not as ugly.. he had a really soft voice. Still he didn't actually talk to me and now I don't know if I'm attracted to him. I'm not sure whether to be creeped out or to do something…? This is just more things for me to stress out about.
I still don't have many friends. You'd think that the girls that study abroad in Japan would be more weeby and stuff but most are normal and can tell that I'm kind of awkward. They don't really include me in anything. Actually, one girl invited me out to go drinking with her and a few of her friends (who are mostly guys..) but I'm not really sure about that. I don't really like drinking or bars or any of that stuff and I get "player" vibes from her guy friends. I've managed to make other friends but I don't think they like me very much. They talk to me at school but flake out whenever I suggest doing something together outside of school. Now it's Golden Week and I don't really have anyone to do anything with.
I'm still plagued by my social problems from back home.. looks like nothing's changed.
You gotta initiate. Sitting back isn't working for you, so approach them instead!
>>6706>I don't really like drinking or bars or any of that stuff
Well thats a big problem in a place like Japan where most socialization is while drinking at a bar/izakaya/karaoke.
Why should I? It's not my job as the girl to do that. I'm too shy anyway. I don't think it's going to happen.>>6709
Well I could just go and not drink but I'd feel really uncomfortable around them.
>>6711>It's not my job as the girl to do that.
It's 2018 and you still think like that? Lmao.>gets offered a solution>doesn't take it, keeps whining
Stay single I guess? Japanese men are known to be shy, why are you so shocked that nobody wants to approach you? Did you think people would fawn over you just because you're a foreigner?
First of all, he's white. Second of all I already tried talking to him if you bothered to read my post. He ignored me or spaghetti'd out. There's no excuse. Girls have no obligation to approach guys, get over it. You sound like a /r9k/ sperg.
…. and guys also do not have an obligation to approach you either. It's 2018! Either bitch about him not being yours or suck it up and ask him out. Get a grip! Don't bitch about something that you yourself can do!
>>6715>I'm the /r9k/ sperg for saying you should approach a guy and not care about gender roles>but you aren't for thinking it's a guy's "job" to court the fair maiden
>>6712>Did you think people would fawn over you just because you're a foreigner?
Does that not happen in Japan? Serious question.
I have three weeks of paid holidays, two in June and one in August. I already planned a trip for August with a friend. But I'm looking for ideas for June and I'm hesitating between specific places that I'm interested in since a long time ago. But I don't have anyone who could go anywhere with me yet because everybody was supposed to be busy with something in June.
So I asked my friends if they had plans anyway and if they want to spend weekends somewhere because I don't want to spend my first holidays since a decade ago alone in a city I've never been to. And literally the only one who answered just keeps telling me that she could ask her friends (I don't know them) to let me sleep for a week at their houses in places I don't know and don't care about.
Not to sound ungrateful but I wanted to have a week of holidays in June to celebrate my birthday with friends for a long time and they were supposed to plan things ahead so I don't want to go somewhere I don't care about to stay with someone I don't know and don't trust yet. My other friends have been avoiding the subject instead of telling me they definitely can't go anywhere.
I am so annoyed my job doesn't pay much. I love the place but staying there seems impossible in the long run. I can hardly support myself. I hate this.
I mean initiate directly. If you're stuck on 'the man must do this' then say "wanna ask me to coffee?" or something. But I can see why guys don't wanna come up to you tbh.
>get prescribed zoloft
>feeling good and optimistic all day dispite dizziness
>reads zoloft tumblr tag
>impending doom trickles down my being
What the fuck I hate tumblr, they butcher everything from Aggretsuko to mental illness.
>check up on crush from last year
>used to be cute lanklet, 100lbs
>kind of dumb/normie tier nerd but I'm into that
>weighs 160 and is a gym bro now
>has a fug gf and acts as if they're in love despite dating for 1 month
Fucking gross, all of it. I know I'm just being mean and taking my romantic frustrations out on a man who doesn't know I exist but I hate it.
Why can't I get my skinny, useless dream boyfriend? They either destroy themselves or fuck me off after talking one(1) time.
And, yes, I do know it's my fault and I fucking hate myself. Even if I look okay and have a bright, money filled future I'll never stop being a hate-filled bitch. Which just causes me to isolate myself so I meet even less boys! FUCK!
>inb4 you sound like an incel
I know, girls. I know. I also know men don't exist for my pleasure, etc. etc. Just venting.
>be my boyfriend
>have a black girlfriend (me)
>also befriend and defend some guy who constantly racebaits, openly admits he hates black people and wants them all to die, "wouldn't hesitate to shoot them on sight", is homophobic, etc
>after the friend group falls out and then re-emerges, this same guy tells a girl who's a rape victim that he hopes she gets raped again
>my boyfriend, knowing all of this (and that I was also molested when I was younger): "Uhh that's just his free speech I'm gonna give him a second chance. And besides, he couldn't be serious, no one really wants to kill all black people"
>ask him if he wants a link to Stormfront or literally any anti-black website
>he ignores me and repeats himself on giving him a second chance and says something about cutting him off if he gets "annoying" (as if he's not already more than just "annoying" to anyone except those who secretly agree with him)
I do not understand, and I think it's time to go. He eventually stopped defending him, but the fact that this was even an argument is just fucking with me really, really badly. He has no deep history or whatever with this guy that would justify it even a little, either.
tell your boyfriend he needs to grow some balls, if he has a black girlfriend he should stop that guy and make him be respectful at least when he is around.
It sounds like he doesn't respect you to be honest if he lets his friend talk that way. Like his friend isn't explicitly naming you, but he might as well be when he says that shit about people who share the same experiences as you.
ditch him, also are you edating? i can only imagine a situation this ridiculous happening online
Went out with some guy from OKC, it sucked so bad.
>say to meet at x
>retard was too lazy to look up where it is
>says he would have taken the ferry if he knew(retard)
>asks me to send location
>I send and he says he can't open it cause he's driving
>he gets annoyed
>we eat and sit on the wharf
>I wanna go soon and tolerate him so, so he tries making a move and kissing me
>I get up and say okay I'm going now
>he's like come on!
>today he tells me my behaviour was disgusting
Lmao i hope he kills himself.
I'm so tired of having this fucking social anxiety ruining my life.
Every time i think i have made friends or found some possible acquaintances i end up feeling like shit because i feel like i am annoying them every time i open my mouth and i'm "that bitch", it's making me feel miserable and wanting me to stay isolated for the rest of my life so i stop being a dead weight on people.
I join discords, talk for a while and stop talking because i feel everyone wants me gone or finds me annoying, even when i know it's very probable it's not like this i can't help but feel like this.
I wish i wasn't like this, but my whole life I've always suffered rejection and trashing me behind my back from all the friends i had, so i just can't help but feel like a hindrance that needs to shut up and stop annoying people.
I'll talk to people normally and a while later feel like crying because i feel like i was annoying them and made a fool of myself, even if the conversation flowed normally.
I try so hard to stop these thoughts, but they are ruining all my chances at a normal life and i hate it so much.
Found your problem
>>6797>implying that using a widely used reaction image on imageboards on an actual imageboard means anything or shows anything about the poster
nonsense. I recognize the picture but i didn't know his name, I could have used it too. stop being a cunt to anon.
Have you tried to talk one-on-one with other people instead? There is a friend finder thread on /b/ if you want to and I think that's gonna improve your social skills. Also this is gonna sound really stupid but if you want to get over your irrational insecurity you have to get direct feedback from the people you're talking with. You can try to ask them subtly what do they think of you.
I really appreciate the advice but the thing is, there lies my problem, even when people tell me explicitly they like me or enjoy my company i simply cannot believe it, no matter how much they reassure me, which is what fucks with me.
I tried friend finder threads before on lolcow and in my experience they don't work very well. I think i have no problem communicating, as i said, i can follow a conversation pretty normally (or i think i do) and i'm very socially aware and aware of what i say.
My problem lies in believeing everyone hates me secretly thanks to my past experiences with friendships, which makes me build walls eventually and fuck it up.
I feel so pathetic being like this but I get so exhausted with social interactions that I can't make friends, let alone get a girlfriend. It's like I really fucking want the deep connection with someone and the physical/emotional closeness but I have no energy to talk and get to know people. Which is kind of a neccessary step so I keep trying but I always end up getting tired of endless conversations that I don't even know are gonna be worth it… idk if it sounds fucking stupid and selfish but I wish there was a way to know beforehand that talking to someone will lead anywhere. Why am I like this. I want friends. And I want a girlfriend goddamnit.
(I mean online, I'm even more socially retarded irl)
there are lots of things laid out for me to eat, but everything is so bitter. i want something sweet to taste.
>>6816>let alone get a girlfriend
You can sit here?
This just in, bisexuals and lesbians no longer exist.
why do I keep stressing myself out over things that have nothing to do with me and that I could just completely ignore, drop and forget? Fuck.
being socially isolated for so long has driven me insane and made me a horrible person
i want a guy to cuddle me. i want to feel a guy's physical warmth against me. im so bored and lonely
I've been procrastinating/getting distracted so much recently to the point where it's worriesome, it just seems that i lost all my will to do anything.
Can't even watch a tv episode without stopping midway (or every ten minutes) to do something else, fuck, i can't even read a whole page off a book without stopping cause my brain decided i need to wash the whole house (which then i procrastinate on too) or something.
It's like my brain doesn't even know how to do long tasks anymore and it's fucking me up.
I don't wanna be dramatic so i don't think it's doctor worthy, but it's making me feel like shit and like i'm becoming useless.
>>6844>I don't wanna be dramatic so i don't think it's doctor worthy
I'm not a psychologist but you sound kinda like people I know who have ADD.
You could be doing yourself a lot of favours by seeing a doctor.
Every single time I'm in a relationship I always look to make new friends with common interests (these friendships never last long tbh I'm terrible at keeping friends); I meet random strangers from multiple communities or boards, if I "click" with these guys/girls I end up feeling super horny and erp/sext with them for hours, but only once then never again.
It's addictive, it makes me feel alive but also shitty for "cheating", only happens when I'm in a relationship.
I've been single for years now, and I don't want it to happen again with any future relationship, I fear I will end up doing it again.
I wish I could off myself
i hate eating and i love eating and i dread meal times because they make me so nervous and afraid. everything in my life is such a drag, and now even food is awful even though it tastes so good. i'm just not allowed to feel good things, when will this stop?
why do i exist?
i'm ugly with a bad personality. my parents are poor. i'm always making mistakes. there's absolutely nothing i'm naturally gifted at aside from wasting my time. i don't think i'm that smart, i may be an actual retard. even if i do have average intelligence i'm too lazy to do anything worthwhile.
to make matters worse there are tons of people like me out there. none of us are special. we're all just horrible empty people.
i really do wish i'd just never been born. wish i was brave enough to grab the busted shotgun in the closet and just end it. honestly, who would miss me?
it's all so depressing. there's never anything to look forward to aside from shitposting and movies. why is it so miserable?
if i could have one solid week in my life in that i wasn't worrying about anything i'd be happy.
also >inb4 are you doing anything to improve your situation
i enrolled in (community) college. i'm planning to go for a hard science and make some money…i got straight a's this semester but the classes were easier than my ap courses in f*cking highschool. but it looks like i'll be turning in my financial aid shit later than i should because of a dumbb slip up. it's just so bad. what if i don't get the money i need?
i'm just tired of the constant difficulties. i know life is hard and i could have it a lot worse but fuck. it's just so bad every day
): and everything is always, always my fault so who do i have to blame but myself? i wish they'd never had me
Someone at work actually tried to be my friend for once, only I let anxiety get in the way and ruin everything like usual. We talked for a bit and exchanged numbers and made plans to get coffee together but at the last minute I started to feel really anxious and told an obvious lie to get out of it.
I was so happy at first that I'd maybe have a chance to make a friend for the first time in several years but I just can't help but push everyone as far away from me as possible.
You can tell them that, they may understand. They may not have even realised it was a lie if they weren't thinking about it. It's not irreparable.
I agree with >>6888
although I think just being like "yooo i can make it now if you still can?" in a text is usually a cool way to do things.
Feelings of anxiety and depression are normal but when they prevent you from moving towards your values and goals i.e social life (a common value/goal people have) it can be a sign you need to just sit and be like wow okay I need to address how I deal with these problems.
A good technique I learnt is to imagine the feelings as a stupid character (idk why but for some reason my suicidal thoughts I picture as kuriboh from yu-gi-oh LOL, for example), and imagine it kinda pinging around inside you REEEEing. Then you kinda inhale, as you do imagine a balloon of air kinda going around them, and everytime you breathe in it gets bigger. This allows you acknowledge its there, but give it it's own breathing space outside of your thoughts etc.
Obviously you'll have to do it a few times when you're by yourself/able to practice it but once you get the hang of it, (or even maybe you'll look up other techniques??) you feel less ARGH in anxiety etc situations.
Sorry for therapost but like… man I really feel for you. Wish I could give you a hug. Your anxiety sounds bad and I just want you to know it's okay and you 100% have the power to find ways around it.
how do you get over the fact that your boyfriend was a manslut before he met you and how to get over the fear that he'll leave you for any man, woman, or transperson if he desires?
asking for science
I will be straight to the point here: if you have been trying to get over it for a while, and it hasn't worked, he's not for you. And it's not your fault. Nothing and no one that steals your peace of mind is worth it, even if it's not his fault. I suggest giving yourself a month or so to try to get over it the last time, and if it doesn't work, leave him. It's hard, I know, but it's the best for you.
I was the poster above.
I was talking with >>6890
i love my parents.
so i'm sorry they got stuck with me. i can deal. with being ugly and unpleasant but this stupidity is too much
just learned about it last month and i ended up learning more over time than i was comfortble with, i try and take it one day at a time but some days are harder than others
thanks for the advice tho it means a lot
I'm sure they love you too; how unpleasant and stupid could you possibly be?
Surely not enough to justify feeling like they're stuck with you.
>think about how to fix problems in life
>think about how life problems have affected me
>get too sad to get out of bed, much less fix entire life
pretty sick of this feel tbh
i feel so depressed. my eating disorder is out of control, i am always broke, can't find a better job and i can't stand living where i am, dealing with the same angry people all the time. i really wish i could die.
Does anyone else get suicidal on their period? It's especially bad for me this time.
Yep, happens to me too, and it gets really
bad most times.
The one person who is my true friend, who I can confide in, who I know throughly, who cares for me in a way I've never cared for before, has gallstones. That hardly sounds serious, but they've had jaundice and dark urine along with the sharp pains so I can't help but be frightened that it's gallbladder cancer. Sorry for how dramatic this sounds, it's just that I am freaking out and I don't want to lose them, I can't. I love them so much. Hopefully it's just gallstone complications and I'm overthinking all of this. I feel powerless in this situation and I just want to hold their hand and rub it while letting them know I care about them because right now, they've been told to go to the ER and they are all alone. I hate this.
I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I am 26, unemployed, live at home and lack any real skills. I've worked in total for about 18 months in various jobs since I graduated 5 years ago and each month makes me more despondent about getting my life on track. I've become permanently nocturnal because it's the only way I feel like I have any privacy, since I live in a small apartment and both my parents are unemployed too.
In the fall I'll be attending a university I REALLY don't want to go to. My top choices basically rejected me leaving me with verrrry little choices. Thinking about this makes me so sad because I keep comparing what I could've had to where I currently am now. Plus everyone I know who attends this university reaaaaaaallly are not my type of crowd and people I can't see myself meshing with well in the future. The people at the university I wanted to go to are a lot more like me. In addition to my woes about the people attending the school, the location and lack of "prestige" the school has bothers me. Every time I tell someone where I'm going to school they never congratulate me or compliment the school but rather point out something negative. This has really killed my work ethic and self esteem. Whenever I think about my current dilemma I feel so numb and stuck because I feel like I have no control in my decision, and no excitement about the future. Everyone around me seems so content with their life and current decisions but I'm in a completely opposite emotional state rn. I've had better grades than those who got into the schools I wanted to get into but here I am… at the lowest tier. I know I can transfer in the future but to go through that whole process again seems like hell and I'm really really really giving up.
Sorry if this is all kinda jumbled and messy but my minds a mess rn and i feel so distraught about the future. Plus I didn't check this for spelling/grammatical errors
Sorry about that anon, but you shouldn't let that get in the way of your future and success.
Remember that university is a temporary thing. Even if the school you're at is not the most prestigious, what you make of it is what matters most.
Since you don't like people you already know attending, find others to hang out with! Participate in an organization or opportunity that you are interested in. Get a part time job, do other fun stuff outside school. Don't let what others say demotivate you because you're in charge of your future.
I transferred after dropping out and had a hard time connecting to people again. I wish I had just sucked it up and finished so I could move on to the rest of my life more quickly.
Most of all, remember that education is important. Get that degree and do something you really care about with your life, people don't tend to fixate on where they went to school after they leave. They have jobs and other things in life to think about.
Best of luck to your friend and you.
Thanks for the support anon. I'm considering transferring (I think I mentioned that in previous post) but what I'm most worried for is losing connections I could've made if I stayed at a school for the full amount of time. Is transferring to a completely different school worth it when everybody has already all known each other for a year+? Will I even be able to make connections? These are just more of the things I'm worried about.
What do you want to do with your life?