my mid 20s will be better than my early 20s. depression is treatable and i will wake up one day not wanting to kill myself, i’m speaking it into existence
I want to kill myself, people are too fucking mean. I don't understand why they have to be like that. No one is going to love me ever, ever, because I was marked as an outcast
Holy shit I want to fall in love with someone so badly but I can't. I feel emotionally stunted, I'm already over 25 and have never dated anyone because I feel like no one is ever good enough. Chances are if I do find someone they won't love me back, and if they do I will ruin everything because I have no experience. I fucking hate my life, I will be alone forever. I hate not being one of those foids who can look past physical appearance, or one of those vapid thots that don't care if they're a drooling retard as long as they're hot. How the fuck do I lower my standards?
Moid post. This is disgusting.
No, I'm just a dyke and like to mock trannies plus I'm not in my shitposting machine so I didn't have a better pic to post.
Oh it was unclear. I feel the same way but about men. But I feel like its just turning the tables, in response to what they do to us. You shouldn't hate yourself though you should just enjoy your life and have zero expectations. When you stop trying and relax is when things start falling into place. I really don't want relationships with moids though.. So sorry if this is unhelpful. You probably don't want to hear about it.
I'm 26 and never had a BF, I'm not even ugly (I think) and I have good hygiene and shit, I just don't give a fuck about people, why I should get some asshole that will probably cheat on me or make my life worse? pretty much everyone who is married is unhappy and stressed all the time, I don't want that, why the fuck would people marry to live that kind of life? It makes no sense, love doesn't last, I think that was scientifically proven some time ago.
I don't feel lonely,just a bit alienated,I just want to play videogames and watch crappy anime all day damn, fuck this, fuck society and its rules.
You nailed exactly how I feel. It looks like so much work. And I remember being in high school. All the BS girls put up with around guys, and how low their self-esteem was, how much the guys enjoyed their lives vs how much drama and horse shit the girls lived with.. and it was just .. WOW what is the fucking point? I don't want to live like that. I swear to god I will never live like that. I'm pretty normal too but wow I don't give a fuck, and I don't understand how IM supposed to feel inferior for not following the shit heteronormative lifestyle!? Pfffbahaha Just leave me out of it thanks. 😳
Trying to make new friends has been really difficult. I'm a NEET so it's hard to meet people in real life, especially in my small town.
Online, it's still hard to find people who are similar, and I keep getting people who want to be weird or sexual once they find out I'm a girl. I'm really scared of getting manipulated or harassed since I don't have anyone to back me up and I don't have a lot of social experience, so talking to anyone in a non-anon setting feels dangerous, but I'm also so lonely.
I miss my old best friend so much… I just wanna go back and be comfy together again and laugh and feel safe
dont even know where to begin. im tired of it all. endless cycles ive experienced for the past decade. i want to be free. maybe now i can take the right steps to be. hope you all can make the right steps to make you feel secure and happy as well. i hope i can too. maybe one day. all i need is a little more time.
I wish I was still a NEET, those were the happiest days of my life, just playing vidya and coding and other shit without having a boss trying to make my life as miserable as possible.
But it's true that after a while it feels weird, like everyone else is moving on with their lives while you're perpetually stuck, now that I have a job I still fill unfulfilled but I'm "advancing" somehow, after all being an office drone is what makes life worth living for a lot of people, and also the pressure to get married as I kinda said here >>66088
After your teens/early 20's are over there's no way to win IMO, it's all just a fucking rigged game you're forced to play against your will.
Not if you don't have children, or get married. I'm 35 and so fucking glad everyday I didn't succumb to that hell.
I think I'm gonna follow that route too, it's amazing how sad most couples are after a few months of marriage + kids, like it's self-imposed torture that literally drains your life away and you become an empty shell.
I just wish I could get rid of all my mental problems too.
Honestly life can be cake. I've noticed the same thing a lot. I am determined not to live that way. I like solitude a lot. I keep it simple, working on art and in a hotel for income. I don't think you should lie to yourself or try something that requires a lot of solitude if you don't like it as much, but its a really great option if you prize it. Life doesn't have to be bullshit like that. It can be pretty exciting and a smooth ride, where.. who knows what the hell will happen, where you'll go? I'm constantly surprised. Things get better and as long as you keep your priorities straight.
I want to die. My dreams are too far to achieve. I have accepted this. And I don't know how to deal with it. Every day is just suffering, why euthanasia isn't a thing?
What are your dreams? Want to talk about it?
I do want to talk about it but talking gets me nowhere I feel. My dreams were going abroad, living with my lover, having a family, publishing my stories… They feel so far away. I'm a stupid neet with no future. I honestly cannot find a reason to live. But I also don't want to suffer anymore and every way to go out seems so painful/chance of survival with disability.
You could start by doing baby steps, like for example the publishing thing, you can self publish these days for very cheap on Amazon and reach an audience willing to read what you write, or if you don't feel confident enough you could try writing a blog and publish later when you have more confidence, every little step counts.
Don't give up just yet!
>>66082>How the fuck do I lower my standards?
well you recognizing the problem is step one. maybe try to reason with it a bit more mentally.the fact of the matter is only total divas are able to get "ideal wo/men" (perfect in appearance and mind) everyone else just has to reason with the sludge.
i should've killed myself back then when i actually had the energy, lots of motivation and nothing to lose, as now i'm plagued by the thought that i am already dead and just living in this sickly boring dreamworld just rotting alive
He's talking to some girl that lives in the state as him…should have seen that coming.
Guess we won't meet up, I'm tired I'm really tired.
how do i stop feeling so empty and worthless? i have friends but i feel like they don’t want me around and ignore me, i’m much too socially inept and anxiety-ridden to try and make new ones. relationships are out of the question, i haven’t had one my entire life and i’m not gonna start now. i want to be able to feel fulfilled on my own but i don’t know where to start.
>>66147>i haven’t had one my entire life and i’m not gonna start now. i want to be able to feel fulfilled on my own but i don’t know where to start.
Do you have anything you pour yourself into to do your absolute best in? Not to enjoy, though you may enjoy the process, but something you do because you find it intrinsically meaningful?
i’d say drawing, but i’m an amateur. i never really learned all the fundamentals and i feel like that’s stunted my improvement. i should be focusing on it though.
Keep doing it, even if you're an amateur, do it because you like it, not because you want to be the best artist ever, you will keep improving over time, that's how things work.
I don't consider myself intelligent at all, but I enjoy coding, I think I suck at it and my code is usually garbage but I keep trying because I like it, feels like playing with Legos and building things and I enjoy the feeling.
There's plenty of hope, plenty of people stop being fucking retarded putting themselves in boxes before they're actually adults. It just means you realized you were a braindead teenage retard.
>>66149>i’d say drawing, but i’m an amateur.
Not relevant, do you find it meaningful or do you do it for fun?>i should be focusing on it though.
Why "should" you be focusing on it? Because it's the abstract "right" thing to do or because you actually find it meaningful?
>>66154>do you find it meaningful or do you do it for fun?
both? i mean, there are aspects i don’t enjoy. but it’s nice to draw what i want to.>Why "should" you be focusing on it?
it’s meaningful enough to me that i want to do it for the rest of my life. but i’m worrying that i’m wasting time and won’t be skilled enough to create the things i want to.>>66151
yeah you’re right. though i’m scared of boxing myself in and only improving in one area because i only treat it like something fun instead of forcing myself to do the basics.
I'm so tired of being surrouneded by the conversation about looks on this board. Mental manipulation is the absolute fucking worst, its worse than anything to do with your looks.
I had to do do years of therapy to get any sense of myself back. I developed such a potent fucking aversion to things that feel like manipulation (anything to do with relationships and social engineering). Love is such trash to me. It is such hot garbage to spend most of your life as a woman with a diminished mind that's just a shell of itself compared to a guy's because you THINK you're awful (society tells you to think poorly of yourself from day one).
It is so sick to me the way most women walk around like simple minded self-loathing machines and then tear each other apart from insecurity. Its the REAL reason their existence is horrible. And the reason they run around like that is because they believe and live like their worthless.
I used to have such god awful mental ruin. I wish I couldn't see anything that goes on. I became the extreme opposite of whats expected one day, I shut out absolutely everything "healthy relationships-related" to return to a good version of myself in solitude and it was the best thing I ever did. My mind became so crystal clear. I want nothing whatsoever to do with relationships or family. I mean I see the way people live, and even the ones that look normal from the outside, look like they put up with too much crap. Its just rotten to me the way most women behave like morons for love. Its fucking sick.
I always feel like I'm stuffed in a jar with idiots, and I'm completely aware of everything. It doesn't matter how you look if you have to massively diminish yourself into a smiling shell for points. Its like living for scraps. For MOST people love is unrewarding and a rigged game that screws women mentally down the line at SOME point. If men are really screwed then why are they EVERYWHERE willing to do anything for sex and then say fuck off? with all the benefits of not having to experience being a woman?
Please just make the busyness stop already
This is why people start doing crack.
My boyfriend is mad at me because the house is a wreck and I don’t blame him, his work is overtaxing him too and he worked 50-60 hours this week because they have no staff.
Meanwhile my parents just up and moved all of a sudden and had to gut their house and get rid of all their stuff and I took a bunch of it because “muh sentimental value” and now I have to sort through what’s actually worth keeping.
To further that they did give us an extremely heavy couch that we have to get up the stairs and I don’t know how we’re going to do it when he’s so exhausted from work and I’m so exhausted from loading and unloading all my parents things helping them move
Meanwhile I’m totally behind on bills, luckily I have a lot of coNtracts this month, unluckily I have no time to do them!! I’m so broke and I can’t work because of all this house shit and it’s so frustrating!
To top it all of my bffs birthday is coming up and I wanted to do something special but I can’t seem to rub two brain cells together to figure it out
And I’m so depressed because before all this I was being so productive and creative on my personal things and now I have nothing but endless responsibilities and mess
And diarrhea from all the caffeine I’ve been drinking
I know I’m being immature, I’m having a hard time keeping up to grow up. It feels grating
What manga is this from?
Also I’m sorry for how you feel. I’ve noticed a lot of people (me included) who are older than 21 just feel like their lives are over and the world isn’t constructed for them, especially after 25
I'm scared that my bestie is talking with his abuser again, and it's making me depressed as hell. I told him before that it was okay if he went back but now I genuinely feel sick. He's been avoiding doing fun things with me and it's going to upset me a lot if it's actually because he's back with her again.
I need other people in my life, I can't take this shit much more. It hurts too bad. I overthink too much, just dumb me down already. I don't want to feel sad anymore.
>>66156>it’s meaningful enough to me that i want to do it for the rest of my life. but i’m worrying that i’m wasting time and won’t be skilled enough to create the things i want to.
Well if you're worried about wasting time, how would you know if you are wasting time? What evidence would you need to believe you weren't wasting time? How much would you need to work on a given day to believe you weren't wasting time? "I don't know" is an acceptable answer.
I'd recommend breaking down processing the garbage into the smallest amount you can consistently do each day until it is dealt with. I don't know if it's in boxes, but it might be best to just say "I will sort this box and only this box today" and just do that until the problem is solved.>but muh energy
I know you have no energy, that's why you break it down small enough you don't even have to think of doing
the action, you just do it.
>To further that they did give us an extremely heavy couch that we have to get up the stairs
You could see if anyone is selling help for just helping lift things. Another option is friends if you or your partner have any. If neither of those work, you just need to both agree on a do or die date, and when that date comes, do it.
>Meanwhile I’m totally behind on bills, luckily I have a lot of coNtracts this month, unluckily I have no time to do them!! I’m so broke and I can’t work because of all this house shit and it’s so frustrating!
I'm surprised that your husband is working 50-60 hour weeks AND you are making some money and still unable to pay bills to be honest.
>have social anxiety
>be a shut in
>quietly progress through university
>forget what I learned after a class finishes because I'm stupid
>about to graduate in three months
>realize I've made no connections
>haven't worked a job in six years so no names to put on my resume
>realize to get a job in the business world you actually have to know what you're doing
>panic and start relearning old concepts
>realize how much of a pain it is going to be looking for a job with no experience in my field at 26 years old
>need to find a job right after university because my family's insurance runs out soon after and I have expensive medications I can't pay for otherwise
I am fragile. There is so much work and socializing to be done in the coming months it is making me queasy. I just want to sleep all day. I must become strong.
Update, I don't think my friend is talking to his abuser but he isn't tell me about it if he is either, and I'm not gonna ask. But he scuttles over to me without prompting and I appreciate it. Not so sad!
I'm attracted to a Tiktoker (already cringe) who makes fucking science infodump videos.
I s2g. He placed his phone in his lap for a second in one vid and I lost my mind. Out of control.
I almost feel bad since he isn't cultivating that sort of persona, but his uninhibited enthusiasm and something about the engineering nerd energy makes me feel lonelier than usual. Probably because I fucked up my chance to date a science nerd back in 2020. I felt I had little to offer since I'm not in STEM.
Inb4 I get called a fatty.
I really liked Squid Game but I wish the female leads weren't so drastically underweight (unlike the male leads ofc). I checked out Alice in Borderland (Japanese show with similar premise) and so far the female characters are at a healthy weight, which was just nice to see as someone who used to have an ED.
I hate going to job interviews. I hate pretending to give a fuck. I hate being a wagie slave.
i chose a degree in journalism and i'm 2/3rds of the way through the degree now and i'm realising the job market is weak for reporting and news gathering and everyone in the field are on average 40 year old men and creeps.
I am 25 years old, last worked in a factory packing aluminium 4 years ago and im not sure if ill ever have a house or a stable income. Im hiding in the bathroom and i am mortified of my life choices. I do not ever want to go back to the factorys despite the good pay.
I want love and to show love back, but I’m ugly and stupid. Also, intense yet tender lovemaking, since I’m ovulating rn. Really frustrated atm, even the antidepressants don’t null my desires anymore. I want moist kisses and warm embraces and to be told that I’m worth loving, is that so bad? Aaaaa!
Oh, and I’ve been constantly horny for the past few days. It’s insane.
Just noticed I’ve gotten a carpet burn on my tighs, since you know, the juices just keep flowing and I can’t just stay still all day. Great, exactly what I needed.
Heartbreaking to me that people that are objectively a healthy weight are being shamed for it. 80% of women are overweight or obese. It's uncommon to see anyone that is an actually healthy weight, let alone underweight.
In Korea only 30% of the population is overweight.
being underweight is as unhealthy as being underweight. the bmi intervals were not chosen by tossing coins.
Thank you anon!!
God I love Japan for actually making stories about this stuff
>I went out with this guy and usually idk I don’t get asked on dates or if I do I say no because I’m too scared and anxious. But anyways he lived two hours away and he asked so I said yes.
>it went really well and he made it seem like he wanted to see me again. He literally called the date and introduction date to more.
>then nothing no check up message or anything I get it people are busy you know. I messaged saying I wanted to do it again. He answered and said so would he but he’s busy and he doesn’t know when he can make it back but he’ll let me know when he can
>so I don’t respond and I wait two weeks to say something else. I say sorry I was busy but if I could find the time I could always drive to him. Nothing, no answer.
Why couldn’t he just ghost me when I said I wanted to do it again? Wouldn’t that have been a reasonable time to do so or act like an adult and just say that you don’t want to do it again idk.
Does anyone have a good or not text to send? Because I don’t wanna just say or not cause it feels too rude but I wanna say something that is like that but less ya know crazy.
I’m sorry his exact words were
“I’ll let you know as soon as I can” not an if but a like for sure I will
Lmao are you trying to claim the women in Squid Game are at “healthy weights”? They are all visibly very underweight. I’m not asking for fat people to be in film. All the male actors got to be at healthy weights unlike the female leads who were nearly emaciated. Fuck off.
Most Asian actors are forced to be incredibly underweight. I literally see Asian women talk about loving leaving in the us because they get to be at healthy weights without being critiqued.
>People complain at you
>Means you have to listen to their whining because they need someone who'll soak it up without any judging or backlash
>If you reply you don't care or it's not your fault they just start whining more and get angry at you
>Forced to listen to "Waaahhh I'm such a victim and I'm always tired and everyone hates me and don't treat me right waaahhh"
>When you try to complain to them they somehow revert everything back to centering them
Fucking hate people who are used to voice all of their whining and you have to hear them being negative
Meanwhile you keep most of your problems to yourself, only occasionally posting them on the internet
>>66366>Fucking hate people who are used to voice all of their whining and you have to hear them being negative
Then stop listening to them. If you don't care about them, and can't be honest with them, stop associating with them.
How do I stop associating with my mom? Also I do care, but to the extent that i will soak all of her emotions
Move out, don't talk to her until she calms down and realize that you're not her emotional rag. Suffering through her bullshit doesn't make you a good person or a martyr and isn't fair to you. Feel free to keep listening to her, but do so in the greatest amount it doesn't make you resent her enough to write posts about it.
Isn't the show about poor people playing death games in order to win money? Not really surprising that the characters are underweight.
no comment on the tv show but this is my experience in real life and it makes me really uncomfortable.
I'm rather short compared to most people here and it feels like so many people can't seem to empathize and realize that they can't just apply their standards to me. of course I'm going to weigh less and eat less when I physically have fewer cells than you? that shouldn't be weird
Then explain why only the female characters are underweight. Quick.>>66388
lol what a made-up problem. people just approach you on the street asking how you weigh?
>>66390>approach you on the street
No, but a lot of people that I meet will comment on it and say I look weak and such. I just don't like people making comments on my appearance no matter what it is, it makes me feel self-conscious. It's more of an issue with people focusing so much on women's appearances in general and making unsolicited judgments and remarks all the time
I don't go out much but when I have dinner with people they often complain about me not being able to finish meals as if I'm trying to insult them, and accuse me of starving myself. Not sure if that is just a cultural thing
I'M SO IN LOVE WITH MY TEACHER I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DOOOOO
HE HAS KIDS MY AGE AND A LOVELY WIFE
I SPEND ALL DAY DAYDREAMING ABOUT KISSING HIM AND WISHING MEN MY AGE HAD EVEN AN OUNCE OF WHAT THIS MAN HAS
IT'S ALL OVER FOR ME
I DON'T EVEN GET TO TALK TO HIM THAT MUCH IN CLASS
I just don’t understand why you felt the need to reply when the original post was pointing out clearly underweight actresses. And the reason the male actors’ bodies weren’t pointed out was because their bodies were healthy-looking.
to be quite honest I wasn't paying that much attention and I was really tired lol. My bad for being off-topic.
Now that I think about it, I've basically never seen underweight men in media before. I know one guy who's rather underweight and it was a really new experience to see him because I was never exposed to it.
I'm not an expert on the details but from what I hear, the film industry can be super rough and demanding with making actors/actresses modify their bodies. It's disheartening that stuff like "I had to gain/lose 50lb in like 5 weeks for this role!" is seen as a good thing sometimes.
The heck, what does being short have to do with it? You eat less but less food makes you fatter more easily too. Plenty chubby short people.
What's your definition of "underweight"? I assume you don't mean Christian Bale during Machinist tier correct?
I feel like I have to not visit this board for a week to see some new posts
Agreed, also nobody contributes anything new. People stay in the same threads instead of ever creating new ones. People here are boring af, I'm sorry but. Not a shred of a sense of humor or spontaneity. It gets old fast reading about how suicidal these pick-mes are about their looks.. how suicidal they are about their relationships. Im just about ready to give up on this board.
Yeah, it kind of confuses me somewhat that we have a general "vent thread". Seems to defeat the point of a "feels" board if there's a catchall thread for negative feelings. I'm certain nothing states you can't
post outside the vent thread, but, I don't know, this thread feels as stagnant as Katawa Shoujo general. I'm not sure I've seen a "vent" thread on any other imageboard and I'm uncertain why we need one.
I dunno where precisely I'd draw the line for underweight, but the guy I know is like 6ft and he claims 115lb, so I think that's pretty unambiguous. His ribs are not as exaggerated as that pic but it's in the same vein. And no it's not mental illness, he was living in a bad environment.
I feel so horribly depressed to the point of feeling physically ill. I feel light headed and dizzy. I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done wrong, I don’t know what I’m doing. I can’t put into words what I’m feeling. I wish I had some luck. I am a failure. I am failing. I am so sad. I am depressing.
Today was awful, sad, and disappointing. My awful planning, risky choices, and neuroticism really weighed heavy on us today and cost us one sad day.
But I’ve learned something important, in an odd way I’ve learned to be more confident, because I knew what I should have done all along. I’ve been hurting with low self esteem and lack of confidence for so many years, wondering how I could ever get over it. In the worst way, I’ve learned today to be confident in my self because some things I can only solve. I can’t go around asking for others opinions, worrying about their projections and what they think is best. Believe it or not, I know what’s best.
I enjoy portal fantasy. It is one of my favorite modes of the fantasy genre and I have written stories in it in the past. Yet I loathe isekai. It takes the concept of portal fantasy and filters it through a lens of pure wish fulfillment. The video game influences reflect the complete lack of culture, literacy, and imagination of the people behind it. It is mindless, worthless garbage, the most neckbeard genre there has ever been.
tl;dr stop liking what I don't like
I’ve realized that romantic relationships kind of suck and get stale really fast. Was honestly way happier just crushing on celebrities and husbandos.
Do I fight for this relationship and make myself miserable in the moment because better things are to come? Is it sunken cost fallacy? Or am I just scared of being alone?
I wish life gave easy answers. I wish I could see which option has the best path for me. But instead I struggle through changing myself and appeasing him in hopes that he'll make me as happy as he used to months ago.
I don't want to be stuck working at something I hate. I don't give a shit if "this is the way". I'm sick of other sad adults going "well that's life for you!" well then I don't want it. I don't want life. But then they go "but you have to push through" well fuck you I'm so tired I never asked to be born I just have a medicore life that isn't worth waking up to.
>>66475>I don't want to be stuck working at something I hate.
Good place to start, that must mean you want
to work towards something you love right?
Sounds like you should just rot alive while doing productive things.
I'm so fed up with this double standard garbage. Concerts and sports events, all of those things are allowed but a book fair? No, we must cancel it, THINK OF THE CORONA!!!!111!
Everything that requires more thank half of a brain are being canceled lft and right. It's driving me crazy. Not to say that sporting events and concerts can't be good/stimulating, but in my country those places are usually for getting high, into trouble or terrible deals. Theaters, museums, book fairs, all those places and events are either canceled or postponed to infinuty.
>Just order the books online, why do you care?
Just watch the sporting event on the TV, just watch the concert on YouTube, just invite your friends over to your house instead of going to a cafe, why do you care?
>>66503>dumb people are not neurotic about covid>dumb people do not care about covid>dumb people will go to events for dumb people in person en masse quite gladly>no one cares about restricting because the people don't care
>smart neurotic people care about covid>smart neurotic people are terrified of covid>smart neurotic people would rather avoid even the chance of getting covid then having fun>smart neurotic people will solve a problem that doesn't exist because they are smart enough to create problems to be neurotic enough
Find dumber hobbies.
>>66505>Find dumber hobbies.
Back to mobile gaming it is.
You need to add some more context here. How do you know things will get better? Why are things bad now?
i just want a cute bf but i cant get one i want to die
Pfft I know I am, but this board is uptight as fuck. People need to stop caring so much and post nonsense. NONSENSE would be better than most of the low tier shite on this board.
He won't, men are fickle and care little. They BELIEVE they care, and put on a face that they are good people. I'm serious they really really believe it. But they have low patience for anything they don't like and can't tolerate not having exactly what they want for very long. They'll say they love you and then quietly blame you for their unhappiness without telling you. For months and months. Leading you on. You should live for yourself OP. :|
I want granola so bad
It's my favorite cereal
I am lactose intolerant and even if I take two pills it makes me kind of sick to drink that much milk but I don't know I might have to buy some.
>>66421>I'm not sure I've seen a "vent" thread on any other imageboard
It's not nice to lie on the internet, anon. There's plenty of imageboards that have vent threads. Also the point of having a general vent thread is so that you can vent without having to shit up the /feels/ board. Not every vent deserves a thread.
Are there any former losers who have improved their lives? (Esp. in the social aspect). I need hope kek
Why not use a milk alternative?
t. enjoyer of all milks
My friend, who I continue to be in love with despite better judgement, is attracted to a coworker of mine.
I think he's trying to use me as a wing(wo)man despite knowing how I've felt in the past.
It just reminds me of the things that make me repulsive since she and I are opposites in terms of presentation and personality (she's edgy, has a cute voice, and is socially competent). Makes me want to relapse and sh after 4 years hahaha. I can't change my core self and it hurts that no one will ever love this.
No matter how far I get into adulthood, being cool still matters the most. What a joke, man.
sometimes i think some people were born to be losers. maybe they can change but only if they're geniuses and just messy/lazy.
but some people like me just don't have the intellect to get their shit together
Back from this and feel much less dark. Glad I vented though.
If anyone reads this, don't let moids (or shitty women for the gayanons) get you down, girls.
I'm a cute, sweet lady and deserve better treatment than this, even from a friend. He's been thoughtless in the past about other things too, but he'd know for sure that this hurts. I just want people in my life that actually like me from now on. It's what we all need.
does anyone else feel they are leading a meaningless/mundane existence lately?
i know this is already the case for some most of the time but this has only started for me recently. i have so much brain fog and confusion and frustration regarding all of it
im lonely and lost and everything is beginning to feel boring. i dont want it to be this way. but i find no excitement in talking to others anymore, they are all online and nothing changes. i just work and do my online classes and am alone in my room 80% of the time.
ive considered trying out social media but that seems futile :( where does anything even go from here? whats the point of it all?
i never thought of religion that way. how all the good that is promised comes after death (unless prayers are answered i suppose?) but if theres a higher power why not make things better NOW? a lesson? a test? maybe to deny us of instant gratitude? but then thats the big debate i guess. whether its a lie or this life is a test. but if there was such a good and great god i struggle to believe he would even give us such a fucked up test that is life….just to send us to some children’s playground after death where none of what happened on earth even matters anymore.
update. ive called the office three times now, and still haven't gotten a working link. im going to call again tomorrow (later on today, because my three-year old chest pain is keeping me up and i can't sleep lol!!) and hope to God a retard isn't Manning the reception desk.
the sole thing keeping me from being incredibly angry is that Google reviews are in total agreement that the doctors are excellent, but the receptionist staff is awful.
but man in general why are receptionists such trash. why did you take a job where you regularly have to answer the phone and input things into your computer if you can't even do that properly, like…?
Making art can make art exciting.
I got into a relationship but now all I can ever think about is how things could go wrong and fearing for the worst because I think I'm not ready. I've never been with a man longer than a few weeks before and I'm just not sure how to handle it… The relationship itself is good and I'm glad it's happened but I feel so caught up in my head and in worrying about losing him now that I think it could sabotage the whole thing. And I know I'm good enough now but I also worry I'll stop being good enough later.
Are these fears normal for a relationship? I'm not used to it…
I feel that way very often. It's most likely due to depression and the fact that we aren't doing anything about it.
I'm a neet so it's pretty obvious why life feels meaningless to me, but even after I get a job I still wouldn't know what to do. All the people I cared about are gone fir a few years now, I feel like I'm not gonna get good at the things I want to be good at, an probably won't have time or energy to do with having a job anyway.
I have to do more and more fucked up things to feel something.
My crush at work has his birthday tomorrow.
He mentioned not having friends and such, so im sure he'd be celebrating alone.
But i'm too socially inept to think of a way to slide into celebrating it with him.
What do I say?
I can lead the conversation to what he's doing that day, but Idk how to push my luck and ask to do something with him. Help ;;
Kinda the same but with l*ftypol's /siberia/ because I haven't used 4chan in years (lol why would you willingly go to 4chan anyway?)
Long story short, there were some jannies in the mod team who were allowing incels and "former" /pol/tards, and other people from 4chan to infest the random board without being banned (even though the actual users wouldn't stop complaining about them) because >muh freedom of speech or something. Due to some unimportant avatarfag drama no one really cares about, these couple of mods later created their own site called lftychan.net (yes these are the fuckers who had a raid board and wanted to raid CC), meant to be for "freedom of speech for everyone except people we don't like, and shitting up leftypol with unwanted drama and shock image spam" and of course their userbase consisted of the handful of incels, pornsick moids, /pol/fags, soyjak spammers and other such scum that we didn't want on our board, so effectively they purged themselves. Obviously their site died in a couple of weeks, and now they've come back to lftypol, which is evident because during the day (US time) the misogyny, racism, hardcore porn apologia, general hostility, etc. is unbearable and the board becomes comfortable (but slow) again at night, which used to be the status quo before they made their own site. When we were incel-free, the board was friendly during both day and night and there was no sociopathic shit being posted in every thread, you could mention you're female and not called an attention whore, etc.
And now I'm here again because I'm so sick of those moids that I feel like I can't even go there to complain about them (since they're too loud a minority), so I have to come here to vent. And yes, unsurprisingly, there are actual biological women over there (as with any imageboard), but we're a tiny minority that used to be able to talk about anything like the other posters without having to conceal our gender to avoid "friendly (misogynistic) banter" or pathetic orbiter responses. I mean, we can still do that to an extent, because moderation is a bit better now without the jannies that split from the site, but the board is not as good for us as it once was, when the l*ftychan scrotes had just fucked off.
A couple of other women have proposed the creation of a temporary board "for women", which would probably mean moderation to make female users feel free to post while being open about their gender (kinda like /girltalk/) without being discouraged by troll replies, but, as expected, it seems to be an unpopular idea.
If you don't believe me you can just fuck right off, I'm so fucking sick of being doubted and feeling like I don't fit anywhere just because I don't have the same opinions as everyone else, both here and there. Goddamn I've had a terrible day.
>>66677>hey (guy's name) wanna get a beer with me after work?
that's it. dont even mention its his birthday, just roll with it. make him comfortable in conversation and be a good listener. most guys are lonely and want to be understood, even more than being loved. do this and hes yours
Just ask him and wing it. Don't think about it much just do whatever comes to mind, and keep doing it when you hang out with him
Me not being allowed to say that you are a man, this was itself based entirely in the profound levels of misogyny I was trying to explain to you. We are no longer friends because you are in denial, your treatment of me was the kind future people will look back on and be shocked by. I regret trying so hard. Fuck you. I wish I didn't have feelings.
My whole fucking life is nowhere where I want it to be, I hate waking up every day and having the life drained out of me while I do school, I hate living with my abusive father. I just want to get knocked up, but all the odds are against that, either way I’ll never be well enough for it.
Can you move to a low in come apartment?
Food stamps, etc
Be frugal and stingy if you must.
>>66716> I just want to get knocked up, but all the odds are against that, either way I’ll never be well enough for it.
Apply for a low income place or shelter, then try your luck at the dating market.
If your aspirations are getting pregnant and sitting at home, you are wasting your time getting the life drained out of you in school.
Got a plan to move out, going along steady, it’s just a draining process that makes me want to kill myself.
>>66727>Got a plan to move out, going along steady, it’s just a draining process that makes me want to kill myself.
Good luck anon, I am cheering for you. You've got this.
>instantly filled with dread and the desire to go back to sleep
who else here prefers the dream world
i rather daydream now i’m scared to sleep because i always get nightmares
All of you are going to get to a better place
It's been bothering me more than usual that I ruined a possible relationship with someone perfect and amazing.
The timing was just bad for my mental health. If only it were different.
I know how you feel, I've been there too. I had never crushed on a person as hard and I just know that in the different circumstances, we would've had a very meaningful connection and we would've been so good together. But I wasn't mentally well at the time and couldn't to pursue a relationship, eventually we just drifted apart. I've never met anyone like him since.
It hurt a lot and what could've been haunted me for a very long time. At least I can tell you that it actually does get better. I thought I'd never get over it and forget about him but I actually did, took me 3 years though.
genuinely nuts how the world is full of billions of people, yet we rarely meet others we can actually connect with.
or at least, i rarely can. so dumb.
It sucks that my moid friend has to hide me from his gf because she'd go nuts over me. She hates me for no reason, I've never done anything to her, but she just hates me and wants me out of their lives. I dont get it. I honestly think she seems like a cool girl outside all this psycho shit, we could be good friends. Why does it have to be like this?
Anon if you care about your moid friend you'll step away and give them space instead of emabling his bad behavior of hiding stuff from his gf. Even if your friendship is pure, that will look bad no matter what. It will get messy if she finds out. It doesn't matter if she is being unreasonable, if he puts up with it then it's because he wants to, but you should step away and give them space as a sign of good faith. A good friend doesn't want to cause tension in friend's relationship.
people dont tell you this, but if someone is talking to you, you dont actually have to listen.
just nod and add in a couple "oh yeah?"s every now and then, it fools anyone.
Ignore the other anon. If you care about your friend, get him out of that shitty relationship.
How do you know it is a shitty relationship? You have no other information about it, and you even know he is actively hiding her from his gf even though he knows she wouldn't like it. We don't know why anon's "moid friend"'s gf doesn't like her. Enabling shady unfaithful behavior does absolutely nothing to soothe the sitution and suggests the shitty part is actually the guy. Unless you are underage you solve this by either stepping back or talking it out with her and seeing what her objections are. If she is abusive your moid friend can leave if he decides to.
Limiting who your significant other can or can't be friends with is shitty behaviour.
i hate my mom so fucking much
she raised me to act like her but whenever i do she gets angry and yells at me ?? wtf do you want from me just leave me alone
what a fucking hypocrite
That is not true at all. There can be good reasons for that. Either way, no one can limit what another person does. Evidently, that dude just kept being "friends" with the hidden anon anyway.
I've stopped contacting him over this, because this whole situation just doesn't fit well with me. It doesn't feel good at all to be treated like some dirty secret for no reason, but he comes talk to me on his own so we hang out occasionally. Just sucks that it has to be like this, it shouldn't have to be.>>66804
I don't have a lot of information about their relationship, I haven't asked and he doesn't talk about it to me, but I have heard from his other friends that it's a toxic one. She's made him cut off some his moid friends out of his life too and their relationship is on-and-off. His friends have told him he should break up with her, but they've been like this for 2 years and counting.
Honestly seems like you dodged a bullet with that friend of yours, he seems like an asshole.
I can wait until November. I don't need to light my heater yet.
you can fucking do it make winter your bitch
or just stop being terrified of the flu and realize the people on tv are lying to you
i ghosted an entire group of friends and now they wont stop trying to contact me. why cant they just leave me alone? its been 8 months
They banned me for posting hentai even though I went to the trouble of blurring out the nude bits. Fucking janny losers
this is why we need to protect our free speech with firearms
>messaging a friend that I've known for a couple years
>no issues or conflict whatsoever
>just chatting about some random stuff
>I ask about playing a game together sometime
>"maybe but I don't have a lot of free time right now"
>ok, fine by me, I will wait
>don't talk for a week because I wanna respect that they're busy
>try to say something today and find that I'm blocked
>no idea when this happened, no explanation
My neck needs a rope around it. It's not fair
I hope this isn’t out of place here, I always use vent threads to mirror back my feelings.
I wanted to say something unique and different this time, to give credence to the good. I wanted to say, before I forget,
I worked SO hard! And I am SO proud of the work that I did! It came out beautiful, I did a good job because I am good at it and because I put in a ton of effort.
i hate porn i hate sexting i hate sending nudes i dont want any irl relationships or any meaningful relationships and i would never do hookups ever and even the thought of someone seeing me or touching me in a sexual way makes me want to vomit
tfw still gets horny
I don't like life. I want to stay high perpetually, my mind has a defect only drugs can fix. If I'm not on a drug I do not like existing. This can only go on for so long before my mind and/or body give, or I end up homeless. If I can't have drugs I just wanna die, fuck this shit. I don't want anything but to get high and even that's getting old, fuck. Oh well, at least I'll be able to be high on the way down.
Relatable, but I never get horny anymore without trying. Masturbating alone in silence can be nice.
I made the smallest of mistakes at work and I still get anxiety over it. I charged some dude a slighty tincy extra and they got angry and stormed out. Hurts my self esteem a lot knowing people will hear bad news about our places from this angry dude cus of a small mistake I made. How can I learn to let go of past mistakes and move on with getting better? I never seem to let past grievances go by and i'll seriously be up at 2am in cold sweat thinking about times I even made the smallest of mistakes in a social situtation. I just seem to so desperately try and seek comfort in other people's approval of myself.
Seriously feeling awful and helpless about being a loser NEET in the country with no bank card or license. I was completely unable to fix a problem with my phone service that shouldn't have even been a problem in the first place, but ended up making both my Mom and I cry and lose sleep. I just pretended to sleep as she had to figure it out this morning before she went to work and I'm so miserable and guilty I could just die. I hate hate hate hate hate our phone service and hat myself.
I used to feel the same and I used to just replay my mistakes in my head over and over
What helped me is the mindset that it's in the past and that the regret, guilt and/or embarrassment felt shows growth but replaying and dwelling on it doesn't change the past, you can only try to do better in the future
It also helps to think about how everyone in the situation does not think about it and you're the only one who is still dwelling on it. No one else cares about that situation as much as you but you can also choose (better phrasing would be "convince yourself") not to care.>person who stormed out
Irrational and short tempered people like that don't have enough enough short term memory capacity to take the business down, even if they tell a person here and there about how you charged them a tiny bit extra
But again, dwelling on it won't change your past mistakes and you definitely stayed anxious about that situation more than that person did
For the situation specifically, wait 6 months, if you're still feeling strong emotions thinking about it, you haven't finished processing it.
For other situations that are further in the past, if just remembering them is causing emotions to rise up in you, you probably aren't finished processing those situations, while this isn't bad, it is generally unpleasant and can impede other processes. You can try going into the past to your most emotionally charged memories and attempting the following.>First describe in detail how and in what ways the event affected your life, could be almost not at all, or immensely, just try and dig as deep as you can as to what it actually affected>Next, write down in intense detail what you were seeing, feeling, hearing. Where you were, what you were physically doing, who you were with. What was positive about it? Negative about it? What was under your actual control, what wasn't under your control? You want to be as specific as possible, you want to be embody the memory (though it may be somewhat unpleasent). What specifically should you have done differently?>Finally, write about how it may have affected your personality, your trust in yourself and others, and hopes for the future. Possibly even how it effected your beliefs in the value of human life, yours or others.
What you want to generally do is physically embody the situation mentally as much as you possible can, properly decide on how important this situation actually was, and what you should have done in specific exact steps.
i'm so lonely. there's technically nothing "wrong" with my life but i can't connect with other people at all and i wish i could. idk
I just saw a male acquaintance I hadn't seen in months and the first thing that came out of his mouth when he was me was "wow you're so fat". I know I have gained a bit of weight (from like 57kg to 63) but I don't even have fat folds or anything. I've been doing efforts to lose weight, it's not like I'm just stuffing my mouth while sitting on my ass. I was lifting weights for a little bit but then got lower back pain so I had to stop, started cycling but I hurt one of my knees like two weeks ago and I'm waiting for it to get better so I can ride again. I tested it again yesterday but it's still bothering me a little, I was gonna let it rest more but I guess not. I've always struggled with my appearance but this is the first time I've cried over it. I feel like shit because I'm not even fat. I'm 166cm tall and currently weight 63kg. It's just never enough. Fucker told me I was fat TWICE in less than one minute. Barely ate today, I just don't want to.
After I was done crying my boomer mom saw me and asked what was wrong, I told her like a fucking retard expecting her to actually show empathy. She said I was in fact a little bit fat and then proceeded to ridicule me for crying, comparing me to her deadbeat alcoholic sister. I cannot fucking wait to move out with my bf, at least he shows empathy for me like a normal human being when I feel sad, instead of getting angry and invalidating my feelings. Honestly idk what I was expecting, in the last couple of weeks she has made fun of my weight and pointed out my cellulitis twice.
He sounds like an anal bastard, I hope you're able to ghost him and your mom forever.
Ok now I sound like the anal bastard. But. Yeah.
idk why I'm being so stupid and horrible. I've been slowly ghosting a childhood best friend (we're in our 20s now). She's super social though has always made the biggest effort with me because she says she values our friendship over any other and adores me.
I've always been a social outcast but for some reason it's becoming increasingly comforting, the idea of being completely and utterly alone. I'm letting her down because I have this thought in my head that I'm no longer capable of normal human communication and that I'm just going to bore her to tears, and that the idea of no longer being able to bother anyone is super reassuring for me…and my last cope is basically limiting the amount of situations I can let people down.
Maybe if I start feeling worse I'll just tell her what I really feel. That way she at least will know.
Please don't ghost her, she doesn't deserve that.
You're going to hurt both her and yourself if you ghost her. Try to be transparant about your struggles with her, you'll regret ghosting her down the line. Don't ruin a precious friendship.
Hey anon, fellow island-to-herself and I've done this 3 (plus…but they were less close to me) times and it feels like shit every time. I threw away two friends who genuinely liked me and the potential love of my life.
Like anons said, you should just communicate how you feel. She may be able to just give you distance, which is something my childhood best friend does. If you've known each other this long and she loves you then you should be able to reach a medium somewhere. Maybe only talk once every week to two weeks or something. Scheduling helps in my experience.
I've been fully isolated before and perhaps I was less anxious, but when the loneliness hits it hits hard. Don't do it unless you're legit full schizoid.
Yee, I ended up accepting her call today after posting what I did. We had an ok talk. I really resented myself for thinking "I want this to end" for the first half of the conversation but I ended up gradually relaxing after a bit and being more interested and wanting to listen to her and tell jokes. Felt super disassociated though and barely present.
Oof, that's rough.
I'll try talking to her more about my failings soon. Things felt awkward but I realize that she really just doesn't expect much besides me being mean and also there for her.
Also idk if I'm diagnosed with anything. I just have a speech disability and might be narcissistic but in the "I'm super self-centered yet hate myself and think nothing of myself" way. I know I can be okish to other people. Just at this point I'm struggling with…the idea that I might never be able to be the person I want to be around others. I'm just so deeply steeped in my own bullshit.
Does anyone else get seriously ticked off hearing people with that bimbo, "popular girl in high school" sounding voice like "Oh mai gawd, you will not believe what OtherStupidBitchFriend said the other day". While I was waiting for the bus today, a group of three of these started yappering and yelling loudly (No regards for their personal surroundings, of course. Other people turned around like "wtf".) and I felt embarrassed just listening, considering they should be college students (Because we are at college housing).
Are these the kind of women guys prefer banging? These Beckies that don't sound like they have a single braincell makes me weep for the state of education..and the human race.
anon, those are the Stacies
stacies are both smart and beautiful. the women from anon's post are just $3 bimbos.
is there a lot of stacy worship here? not based.
Try working in a hotel. Because thats all the guests do is complain and get mad. They will always find something wrong with the room, or the tv, or their rate, their neighbors.. and always find a way to take it out on you at the front desk. So you develop a thick skin, and in the end nothing phases you. You should just flat out look for a way to become "hated"
Yes he sounds horrible, but you should learn to let things like that roll off your back. Otherwise you're easy to manipulate and shame. Nothing any one harasses you for should make you feel that bad.
Good god its not even worth it to be in a relationship if your existence is that shitty and diminished.
yes cause guys mostly just care about looks
Stacy and Chad were originally meant to be parodies of what people see as "alpha" males and females: despite physically being exaggerations of what's considered stereotypically sexually attractive, and very extroverted and social (as opposed to the "virgins"), they're loud, arrogant, stupid and obnoxious, but presented in a way that makes these traits appear like positive traits (which produces the humorous effect).
That's what I meant when I called those girls Stacies.
Dunno if this really counts as a vent but I don't have anyone to tell this to and I don't want to forget (I have memory issues)
I've been going through a really rough time recently; I lost my bf, all my friends, and my chance to attend college.
Today I just stumbled across a bunch of old messages I sent to a guy online when I was 13 and remembered what life was like back then. I was extremely miserable and just ranted angrily about various (legitimately awful) ways I was being mistreated and talked about how I felt so physically sick and suicidal every day. I expected to go in and cringe but I honestly just felt sad reading it. I was so absorbed in unhappiness that I was completely not self-aware of how I was spewing shit while this poor guy was trying to change the topic from "ways to kill self" to his hobbies and interests; I just cried about not liking anything. I even said I didn't have any friends and declared that he wasn't my friend. Which I guess he kind of wasn't, he was an autistic teenager who I think felt bad for me and didn't really know what to do other than keep trying to get me to join his nerdy hobbies. Kind of feels bad to think about how unpleasant I was to him without having had any idea.
But seeing this is kind of uplifting in a way. Knowing that I know a bit better now, even if I'm still stupid in many ways, and knowing that I won't go through the same inescapable stuff anymore as an adult. It kind of helps to reflect on how I felt back then and think about how I had some really amazing times after that (even if they're over now). I guess it makes me realize that even though I feel really down now, there could be better times soon.
>be a child in the 2000s
>all we knew about autism was kids throwing tantrums and climbing on roofs and refusing to get down
>discover 4chan as a teen
>autism memes funny
>keep making fun about autists for years
>made fun of this aspie girl in my college class
>look up autism symptoms
>mfw i'm probably a sperg myself
been having an online fling with a bisexual transwoman for a few months, as a lesbian.
she sent me her pic today and she doesn’t pass as well as i thought transwomen do, which is pretty much a dealbreaker for me.
well there are other issues too, such as how could i accept the fact if/when she decides to cheat on me with another male.
i mean, bisexual males like penises, and being assfucked with one, and having one.
which isn’t anything i’d ever want to do or receive in any way.
and males need lots of sex, and the exact kind of sex they like, so i couldn’t ever satisfy her.
and males spread stds easier than females, especially to females, that one a scientific fact.
in the end, i’d just feel like some heterosexual tradwife crying over her scrote visiting gay sauna and giving her AIDS, which is like, the most invalid feeling a lesbian could feel i guess.
fucking stupid and not worth it.
and i feel stupid for stringing her along, i just wasted both of our time.
only reason why i ever followed her on IG is, because other cislesbians just hate me, and i’m lonely.
and not even in ’im not like other girls’ way.
i want to have a cis gf, because i only get off to eating pussy, and i want to be the taller one, but it’s just not happening, like ever.
i’ve tried so much, and it’s so tiresome.
idk how to even ghost her or whatever, since i’d just get branded a TERF probably, since she’s a wokey.
so i’m kinda stuck here.
Nah, they wouldn't have been considered attractive enough to be Stacies. One of them was Asian too and you don't often see Asian Stacies. (Plenty of annoying Beckies among them though)
I feel like I'm encountering Beckies more often recently and I think they're even in my Computer Science major now. There are two of them that go to my professor's office hour that sounded really dumb and one of them was wearing tight ass yoga pants that she bended over in. They constantly orbit this professor too, so I don't know what these hoes are trying to get from that. But most importantly, I'm terrified these kind of brain-dead women are in Computer Science now too, of all things.
Tbh this kind of people make up of 90% of teenagers where I live, both male and female. They swear constantly, make tasteless jokes and stale memes, get drunk and smoke, etc., they're obnoxious assholes and everyone else resents them.>Are these the kind of women guys prefer banging? These Beckies that don't sound like they have a single braincell makes me weep for the state of education..and the human race.
Why does it matter though? Moids don't mind banging any woman that isn't horribly disfigured/obese, etc. A lot of moids as I said are lie this themselves, dumbass bottom of the trashcan teenagers usually bang other dumbass bottom of the trashcan teenagers.
Anyone else here super ageist? I’m in a waiting room where you have to sign in through a Kiosk and none of these boomer retards know how to use it and they’re getting angry at the worker for it. I hate technologically illiterate old people.
The only teenage girls I hear talk like that are all black.
t. teaches in High School
Not really. Old people are just that, old people. I hate serving technologically inept old people, but that just means I'm not cut out for customer service.
Not really, when we are old it will be some other bullshit that people make us put up with, and we'll be seen as a problem for not being able to keep up with technology.
The world changing sucks and the rapid pace of technology is a stressor on human life. It separates humans from our roots and from the simplicity and freedom that our ancestors enjoyed. Old people have seen enough shit to realize that things just get worse and worse for industrialized society every decade but to the youth it's "Get with it gramps."
I wish I felt better/healthier. I feel like a zombie all the time. I get sick every month.
one time in my life I felt amazing and it was after staying up and talking to a friend all night and then day-sleeping, and I woke up feeling energized for once and not in pain or tired. literally everyone I knew that saw me immediately freaked out and said I looked way better and that my bad dark circles disappeared. I took a few pictures. Unlike every other pic of me, I looked like I actually got sleep. Tf?
To this day it still bothers me how differently I felt then, than how I've felt for basically all my life bc obviously nothing is wrong with me.
Do you still daysleep or no?
Nah. Get 8 hours at night, every night.
Well, I'm not going to say you're unhealthy, but if you are following all the best practice tips and are actually truthful about being that regular in your sleeping, you may have a sleeping disorder. Do you have a hard time waking up in the morning? Like it takes two hours?
>>67100>bullshit that people make us put up with
Technology isn’t “bullshit that people make us put up with.” It literally makes things more efficient.>we'll be seen as a problem for not being able to keep up with technology
Hounding an employee because you don’t know how to use a Kiosk with simple instructions is
a problem. Stupidity and entitlement. The employee even asked the women to check her email for the appointment confirmation and she said “I have so many emails, I can’t!” They’re so fucking stupid.>things just get worse and worse for industrialized society every decade
A kiosk in a medical office is not ruining the world and society. Old people who can’t use technology are retarded burdens.
I miss being young and heavily involved in fandom.
How is an automated kiosk more efficient? More efficient for who? It's far simpler for the customer to have a human working at the front desk to sign you in. But kiosks are highly efficient for the corporations who get to pay fewer employees by automating their jobs. I hate them at the supermarket but I have to use them because they always only have like two human aisles open.
hmm, I feel just deathly for a few hours.
But I'm able to get up if I need to, I just struggle with talking and acting normal as just existing feels painful and my eyes burn and ache the second I wake up. I think in general I feel the most human between 12PM and 3PM (even if I don't get any sun).
I had surgery to breathe better thru my weird nose when I was 19 which helped a bit and I still need jaw surgery because my jaw is placed weirdly and makes it hard to talk right, and I also have asthma but I'm not sure if that's related.
Glad to say that when I posted that, I was just having a bad day. I'm still eating vegetables and fish and complex/healthy carbs.
I still want to lose weight, and I still want him to see me and think "Wow, I could snap her like a twig. She's cute, but is she okay? Would it be bad to ask? This makes me uncomfortable but I'm attracted to her, fuck", but I actually do not want a shitty, diminished existence. I want to live happily and healthily.
I don't know how to balance the two desires.
(Also, I do talk to my crush, but on that day or close to it, I wanted to ghost him. He somehow talked me out of it, though. Sorry, posting on CC is like meditation for me)
>>67121>How is an automated kiosk more efficient? More efficient for who?
It’s more efficient for both the employer and employee. All you have to do is click a few buttons and the doctor simply calls you in. If a boomer can’t figure it out, they’re a senile retard. It’s also safer than face-to-face interaction during COVID. Also..>purposely going to human cash registers instead of self checkout
Self checkout is so much quicker and you don’t have to deal with bullshit small talk. If hating on technology makes you feel unique then go ahead, though.
>>67078> One of them was Asian too and you don't often see Asian Stacies.
Are you really unironically racist?
How the hell is that racist? It makes complete sense, considering Asian women tend to be raised much more conservatively than Western ones. You ever heard of Asian sexually rebeliant women like flappers, but whose movement hasn't stemmed from any kind of Western influence? There's your female "girl crush" Kpop groups too, and the sexual display in their music videos is definitely westernized. And for show on top of that - I guarantee you the women in them aren't dressing nearly that liberally in public.
>>67160>Self checkout is so much quicker and you don’t have to deal with bullshit small talk.>autist who can't small talk is a social misanthrope
I can barely contain my shock.
>>67160>Hounding an employee because you don’t know how to use a Kiosk with simple instructions is a problem.
If the Kiosk isn't simple enough any can use it are the instructions actually simple?
My boyfriend has recently developed anorexia on top of his existing mental health issues and everyone is saying I should try to support him but I’m honestly starting to feel like I’m completely done with him. On top of this he’s also starting to lie and hide things from me more. I feel like a bitch but I can’t handle any more of his neuroses and this one is the most illogical and self destructive one yet. I’m out of sympathy.
Not that anon but what does Kpop have anything to do with shallow Asian Beckies in a western country? Are you from the US? In my country, they're more or less like their European counterparts, just with a non-native face kek>>67117
What prevents you from being heavily involved in fandom now?
I'm so lonely. I only had one friend but even she stopped responding. Idk what to do or who to talk with, I can't relate to anyone.
Trust me anon some guys are just assholes and will use their issues to get away with bad things. Already seems like it's too far gone.
You aren't a bitch if you leave him. In fact with how u feel now it's more messed up to stay.
Imagine wanting to waste your time talking about the weather with a complete stranger you will never see again. You know they don’t actually care about your life and they’re just doing their job, right? Such self-importance lmao.>>67193
Yes, the instructions were simple because I was able to sign in in under a minute and so was the other non-geriatric person in the lobby.
im this close to messaging my ex bf and i wanna kms
>What prevents you from being heavily involved in fandom now?
Literally nothing but I can't seem to bring myself to engage with fandom anymore. I don't even want to read or watch tv anymore.
>just get rid of your victim complex br-
I can literally draw a timeline of what other people did that led to the absolute state of myself.
I'm a really bad liar. I just can't lie. Even if I want to, I just can't and I end up telling the truth, even if I don't have to or if it'll cause me trouble and the person is better off not knowing. It's really frustrating.
I watched this video about what it means to be "the exception" (aka "You're pretty for an asian or black or brown girl"). I always just take it as a compliment. I disagree with it ideologically bc there are tons of attractive women of all races IMO, but if someone thinks I am special, why should I be upset? If they see something in me that they don't see in other people, that's not a bad thing.
Anyway, the OP of the video explained that a (black) guy once told her she's "pretty for a dark-skinned black girl", and that he usually only dates mixed and light-skinned women. Then, he dumped her for a mixed girl, and I understood the problem. The issue isn't "You're special", it's the part they don't say out loud: "You are rare and delightful [but there are others I consider better than you, and you pale in comparison to them]".
Being "othered" is not bad, it's that it isn't enough. I need to be with a guy who doesn't just think I'm a rare, exotic beauty. He needs to think that not only am I special compared to other women of my race, ALL other types of women are also boring, unappealing and/or ugly compared to me lol. Thanks for coming to my TED talk
has anyone heard about a woman being raped on a train in front of a ton of people? I'm horrified.
I protect people when they obviously are in trouble, even guys. it's not hard and I've taken a few hits bc of it (never did I hit others tho) and gotten my arm broken, etc. I'm not really a good person, more that I can't stand around and do something when I see something bad happening in front of me. why don't others do this? if a bad person like me can help others why isn't other people doing it? how tf can you stand there filming such horrible things? I get being paralyzed because I have severe anxiety and take meds for it, it's just…seriously, there's always something you can do. right?
humanity is a mistake. the last cope I had was that most people weren't really doing bad things but does it matter if people can't actually can't act when people need help?
edgelord rant end
Hanging is the only solution.
Life isn’t so bad! ^o^
I want to stab myself to death.
You’re improving! ^o^
I’m irreversibly fubarred.
Getting a job will turn things around! ^o^
look up : bystander effect
cognitive biases are fascinating
I’m 27, been in a relationship for 6 years. I had a conversation with him last night where I told him that if we weren’t engaged by the time I graduated (~1 yr, PhD that’s why I’m old) then I’m breaking up with him because it’s not fair to either of us to go on like this forever especially when I’m looking for employment. He was really sad and asked if I was unhappy. I explained that I like him and like spending time with him, but I find it hard to reconcile the amount of time and commitment I have towards him with our lack of progression towards marriage because it indicates that either 1) I am not measuring up to some standard I am not aware of or 2) I am simply not “the one” for him and he will never “be ready” with me. He said “don’t you think it could be because I don’t feel like I have a good job or career?” I said that people have gotten engaged in worse finances and that if he wanted to he would. He seemed to take it well enough I guess but has been subdued. I don’t want him to propose out of fear, I want him to want me and marriage. Was this a mistake?
>think of a dude I stopped talking to abruptly over a year ago
>feel sad and sick about it because he was a good guy
>been on my mind the past month or so, but especially this week
>somehow manifest him back into my life today
>still feel sick
Anons what the fuck. I'm never happy.
Tell me I'm a dumbass and should just talk to this man
You’re a dumbass and should just talk to this man
Based. Thanks, anon.
Gonna not fucking go mentalcel and ghost him this time like a huge dolt.
I HATE being in love with him, I fucking hate it
we don't even see each other irl and I'm already forgetting exactly what he looks like, I seriously doubt he remembers my face, but his voice is SO FUCKING ALLURING. Aaaaghhhh. I can't help but wonder, what he sounds like in bed…. oh fuck, kill me.
I want to work out, but why does it have to be so difficult?
I hate sweating, I hate pain. How the fuck do people just get used to it and do it every day? There was a short time in my life that I was exercising daily, and I didn't hate the results, but I fucking despised how sweaty it made me. It feels like I can't bring myself to go back to it.
I find it easier to literally starve for days than to exercise. Why?
I did this to a good friend when covid started. It just felt easier to not have to talk to anyone. I regret it so much and I'm scared to try contacting her again.
At least be honest with her anon, it'll make it easier if you ever want to talk to her again down the road.
SAME hahaha fuck
I told my friend that the coronavirus wasn't a big deal and that he shouldn't worry and a month later it's a global pandemic, that only makes it worse, aghghhghhh I'm terrified of contacting him again, it wasn't my intention to stop talking to him but honestly I just didn't want to reply to anyone because I didn't feel like I had anything new to say
Why is keeping contact with friends such a drag? Anything I do or don't do about it just makes me feel worse.
>>67411>we don't even see each other irl and I'm already forgetting exactly what he looks like
How many years has it been?
i just think if i can't even do this what am i good for ?
I try to pretend that I have the same training as people and that I drew and studied, I worked hard, but it is at the stage when I try battling with self to do something, I do not know if you would get that thought process
I have so much passion that it's so hard for me to do something that takes me years because I have a rare chance that I will be bothered to get something I want, myself trying hard to get myself to play a fucking video game and most of the time I can not do it
I do not think people understand how much the gift of being disciplined is better than genius and that genius is worth nothing, because to do things easily or learn faster is meaningless, because everyone who studies can do the same and from proper experience from masters. if you spend more time on things, you really keep them, the better, it seems
people are so stupid to want to have innate intelligence or to be different and fucking neurodivergence lmfao and be jealous. I think you want what you do not have, but since I'm a gifted, mentally ill, strange shitty genetic, I have to suffer that I am not understandable or relatable and have sympathy with it, fuck, it is sucks, I always think that drawing is something you have to have to be able to do it and, but it is not and as with everything else
you know how people hate talent, especially in art, I can understand it, because I hate people who can practice. I always have to hide the truth about me, like with genius, everyone in the knowledge has jealousy, bad energy towards me about that, especially because it seems like I do not try either, but I literally try a lot and suffer a lot because I can not just practice and do not do Simple tasks, especially without knowing why I am like that and always so stressed because only at the last minute to study and do homework and have other mental illnesses problems, no one you would understand or sympathize? I have this tism in which I think everyone is like me too, so I can not imagine that people have it much better and can not understand things, even though I see reality a lot, mental gymnastics, forget everything, illness mentally unattended.
I have it so bad, how did I end up on the genetic level with so many rare chances, since the diseases are so rare and serious, even though they are rare, so I can hide it and even in life strange things are always with does not happen to me? I just hope it's definitely because ADHD and not paying attention to things.
I hate mental illness and being different and the strange mental illness is getting worse and I won't schedule screening until have to go to school and start flinching and freezing around a random type of people. Maybe my doctor will remember that I will not be able to schedule screening do this because she will not prescribe what I need to function
does anyone sympathize, I hope I can schedule that psychology appointment and ask there
Why do you bother making such a long post at all >>
Talk about fixated :v
For a self-alleged genius I'm having a hard time parsing what the problem you're even venting about is. Are you complaining that you don't have self-discipline?
I had the same kind of problem in the past. I remember one time going on this strict couch to 5k regimend that I managed to get halfway through before completely burning out, because I absolutely hated jogging. The strategy I took was to pick a form of exercise I actually enjoyed, even if it wasn't the "best" for getting in shape, for me that was jumping on a trampoline. I only did it for as long as I found it fun, which typically lasted an hour (with plenty of small breaks in the middle.) Nothing hard, nothing painful, just enjoying using my body in an some sort of physical activity. Over a year and a half I built up some serious leg size just from doing this every other day. I found that over time, you tend to start going harder not for any big reason, but just because it's boring to do the same easy stuff. My husband wanted my help getting to the gym, so I started going together with him to walk on the treadmills. Started doing that two weeks ago. Just yesterday I managed to do a 5k jog easy. I think it's really important to just find a form of exercise you enjoy doing until it stops being fun, then you're ready to move onto something more challenging. Unless you're some form of cripple, there has to be some form of exercise out there that you would enjoy doing in and of itself.
Point is I have all these off-chance things about me that aren't relatable or understandable
was a reply that developed into a vent in reply to someone saying I probably didn't get their thought process because of talent and it sent me on that tangent and I'm having withdrawal from getting off stimulants so I just start uncontrollably blogging when I feel like it
CUNT HOW DARE YOU HOW VERY DARE YOU I WOULD CURSE YOUR FUTURE OFFSPRING IF I DIDN'T INTEND TO USE YOU FOR YOUR HIGH VALUE SPERM. MAYBE I WONT EVEN DO THAT NOW, THATS HOW MUCH YOU PISSED ME OFF YOU SELFISH, WILLINGLY STUPID BITCH
Nothing ever seems to go my way. I'm going behind in school because of some stupid paperwork out of my control and can't do this month's exams, I've to find another language teacher because I lost mine since last week was a shit week and forgot to concur on a schedule, found out moid I liked was a fucking pedo.
Jesus fuck. Can I get a break.
It's pathetic but I really wish I could be alone forever in an isolated cabin because I desperately want to be able to dance, sing, read aloud, and talk to myself without ever having anyone else around. I'm terrified of people and uncomfortable with relaxing and not having a stick up my ass. I want to just be able to live and not constantly worry what people think about me.
>instead of seeing other people I'm constantly afraid of how I come across, I can't go outside without being scared
>grew up as basically the lowcow of my school because my inability to talk and ugliness and was used to them basically obsessing over everything I did, taking pictures + videos of it (including the awkward way I walked) + absentee parents
>still get bad comments from strangers about the way I come across or look
>even privately I struggle with learning new things because I look at myself and think it's pathetic that I think I'd ever go anywhere and that I'm being full of myself for even attempting
2 lol we just met once IRL
Well, we had seen each other before, but only for a few seconds and from afar. This was the first, and so far only time we've talked to each other in person.
I used to have a photo of that day saved on my phone, and some pics of him that were shared by someone else, but I deleted them when I realized that this crush I have on him is dumb as fuck.
He said he wants to make my life better, but when I’m vulnerable with him, he leaves me in the coldness of my solitude. Why can’t he just grant some reassurance? Why am I always left alone crying?
are you sure he isn't pulling some redpill hot/cold shit with you?
if someone is making you super uncertain that's sus.
also don't care about what a guy says he will do tbh. talk is cheap.
Haven't been able to be social in a while, COVID ruined the first year of Uni and my old friend group has dwindled. Co-workers are talking about Halloween plans and I feel like suuuuch a fucking loser trying to be casually admit I'm doing nothing being like "ah I've no plans yet I'll see I'll see" ;_____:
He’s not really a red-pill type. Just very inconsistent in his actions, one moment he’s there the other he’s not.
almost no one noticed my absense from all social medias after getting my phone taken, complete silence for almost a week. i'm going to die kissless, love and a social life just wasn't mean for me
in any case, he doesn't sound like he's going to be good for you in the long run. my friend sounded a lot like you and it turned out after a few months the shakey guy dumped her for a girl he acted like he really liked. my friend felt like a total tool.
he sounds like he's just very mean and uncaring and only postures about caring when it's convenient for him.
why are you still with him anyway? he doesn't seem like he really likes you and is just saying whatever arbitrarily keeps you on the leash.
I feel like I'm destined to be lonely.
After regretting not befriending many people in high school I've been trying so hard to sociallize and reconnect with old friends and classmates. For example I pushed myself to ask a couple if them to meet up but after agreeing all of them got sick seperately over the course of a couple weeks. (which I'm not at all upset at them about since that's out of anyone' s control!!)
But even with relationships I never really understood how people get into them. The only 2 times I managed to get close were online with girls that I really liked but there was always something that didn't line up well-enough that was beyond control like an age-gap. But in both cases after ending on good terms they immediately got into relationships only a week after (which I'm again not upset about! I'm very happy since they're still friends!).
I just feel very replacable but at the same time can't value myself too highly even though I've gotten better at it.
The dread of loneliness is my biggest fear and I have no clue how I can finally share experiences with people that I can enjoy being around ;~;
I had a coffee date and he was simply too good for me.
It's a weird feeling. I'm used to someone being "too good" for me in the sense that they are extroverted, but this man is just a good person who is always doing his best.
I'm working hard on myself and am quite healthy, but knowing him is humbling.
This is a unique sadness.
The unprofessionalism of some of my co-workers disgusts me. I work as a CS Tutor online and at our Computer Lab on campus, and these bastards make me wish I could just stay online and not have to work in-person at all. They constantly seem to talk shit about the students they tutor and today I overheard one of them blatantly admitting that they just stopped responding to one of the students that messaged them. Furthermore, I often need help from them for my own classes so this behavior makes me even more embarrassed and afraid to get help. One of these "tutors" I particularly can't stand, because of how loudly and obnoxiously he talks. These are the kind of people that drive me into even deeper misanthropy.
Also I should mention, they look like they're constantly talking and not even doing much work. I'm just glad that for the days I have to be in-person, most of them aren't on the same shift as me, so they're gone shortly after I start. The guy I'm on shift with is actually pretty helpful and nice, and the other day even said himself douche™ on the shift before us didn't help much. I don't think it's a coincidence that people who always seem to talk, brag, and complain the most end up not knowing nearly as much as they seem to.
I also feel destined to be lonely. Personally I have embraced it and I have never been happier since
I am a descendent of a long line of evil bastards. Several of my family members have even gotten to the point of committing murder (they are/were arrested). I have seen so much shit including seeing my mother intentionally kill my pet gerbil in front of me when I was 11. Psychopathy, narcissism and BPD run through my family's genetics, and I'm not an exception, and I ended up with BPD. I have never been close to someone who did not do something awful to me. My first boyfriend tortured me when I was 17 years old because I kept asking for food. I have lived on the streets and sucked dick for money.
I believed for so long that I would be the one to turn everything around and I was the good, empathetic one out of my family. But I am realizing I am not as different from them as I had believed for so long. I don't know that I am evil, because I don't like seeing innocent people suffer, but I'm certainly not good, because I am explosive, volatile, bitter, and hateful. I hate other people with everything in me because they are all waiting to fuck me over the second I let my guard down. I feel like to be a good person I would have to let my wall down, but I would rather be safe than follow some arbitrary moral code that only benefits people around me.
I don't really know what to think of it. In some ways I don't really care, because why would I want to be good to people who would gut me like a pig if I let them? In other ways I feel like I'm supposed to be a good person, because I don't want to end up hurting someone innocent like my family did.
You are damaged jesus
Idk about sweating, but I used to think the intense pain and DOMS I got after working out would always be there if I had a good workout. I thought people who worked out regularly were just always in this much pain and that they deemed it 'worth it' to look cute or whatever. Turns out if you exercise regularly you NEVER EVER feel that again. I mean sometimes I get soreness, especially if I take a week off, but it's never like it used to be when I would work out like twice, hurt immensely, and be like 'FUCK this'.
Can you describe that pain a bit? I can’t tell if I experience it too or I just have low endurance
Hi anon, true sister in spirit here, (damn, the degree of feels at this moment). I took a vow of pacifism, and relate a lot to your post so I just want to share that taking this internal vow of pacifism legitimately resolved these issues for me. (Both instantly and over time, as a continuously enriching process). Might be a bit off the rails for your taste but it's a pretty timeless, tried-and-true solution.
Whenever I'm in a good mood, my mom is in a bad mood and brings me down.
Whenever my mom is in a good mood, I'm in a bad mood and bring her down.
I am so frustrated.
It sucks you relate to me so much because that shit is not pleasant lol, but I'm glad I'm not alone.
I'm glad pacifism helped you so much. It's great to find literally anything that works after heavy amounts of trauma that isn't just getting high 24/7. But I don't think I could handle the idea of pacifism right now. It really scares me.
this is really dumb but I'm unhappy and scared now. I've had a bad, throbbing pain under my chin on the right side for months in a spot I can't quite pin down. It's now getting more painful. I keep thinking maybe it's nothing and I'm just being dramatic.
A few weeks ago I saw the doctor over this issue and for some reason he just sent me a referral for a GI clinic and didn't at all check the pain.
Just want it to go away.
It will be most likely to go away with proper medical treatment. It's normal to feel scared, you're safest if you try to prevent any bad things early, I hope you try not to think catastrophically. Sending you a hug anon everything will be okay
thanks for the comfort, anon.
just feel super done with trying to take care of myself but then being unable to resolve or fix things.
It sounds like you need to stop living in that house anon. Just move out.
Could be a lymph node or tonsil related issue. If you have the capacity I would highly recommend looking into and then possibly acquiring some food grade atomic iodine for supplemental consumption. Also go see a doctor please.
Loneliness is honestly killing me. Genuinely what point is there to living if you're only there to exist. Making deep bonds, memories, experiencing emotions with others and building connections is what it's all about. Hobbies and interests are second. I was so weird as a child that school was such a difficult time as I just could not be like my peers no matter how hard I tried.
What's heart breaking for me is that when I finally tried to get help it was around the same time I was diagnosed with an iron deficiency, so I failed in opening up to my parents and instead whenever I'm sad or upset it's because "I'm not eating right" or something. And this one teacher I had, god love her, literally said to me "Look at me, I have a small group of friends! That's okay!" like lady I don't want to grow up to be like you or be like my parents. I'm sorry but genuinely why shouldn't I kill myself if I cannot succeed in fulfilling my social needs. I scroll through my Facebook a lot and it really makes me happy to see posts by others having fulfilling lives and seeing that deep connection and fun humans have. But honestly why even continue if I don't have that myself. It's mind numbing knowing I have achieved doing literally nothing for many years now.
I just want to feel something man.
this is a nice thread because I can write absolute bawl just to write down emotions instead of having a diary or some shit
just want you to know you're not alone on this journey and your description resonated a lot
it's honestly devastating
>>67836>I have a small group of friends! That's okay!
I really don't like when people say this. They misunderstand that I don't have ANY friends and also minimize the desire to have friends as if it's not natural to have.
>>67836>Small group of friends
Those people don't understand that this is not the same as being completely alone. It's not a numbers game, it's an issue of having zero social needs met. Then they'll tell you to replace people with hobbies and to learn to enjoy being alone. Like yeah that would be great advice if I was someone who had to be surrounded by people 24/7 or if I was just bored all the time, but fucking knitting isn't going to replace human interaction because the issue isn't being bored, it's being completely isolated.
>be ugly loner lesbian who’s insecure af
>some lady online says we’d make a good couple
>she’s been all lovey dovey even before she said that
>you’ve been talking for a while even before the lovey dovey phase, and she seems really warm and genuine
>you like her back, but you’ve been trolled too many times to believe her
>ask her out
>she says yes
>she even knows a good place nearby
>maybe she’s not trolling this time
>maybe it’s real
>you get excited and don’t sleep that night, nor eat the next day because you’re so happy
>you’re all donned up, tired and hugry, and sitting in the rain on a cold bench next to the meeting place, but with a genuine smile on your face and filled with hope
>notice she’s late
>wait for a couple of hours, just in case
>she doesn’t ever show up
>leaves you on read, but doesn’t remove you from Friends
Not sure what I expected, but really I wish it wasn’t raining that day at least. I think I’m having a flu.
This is what I've been saying all along. These idiots will never understand. It's not that I don't have hobbies, is that ALL my free time is going to my hobbies and none of it towards building relationships because I don't fucking have friends. I get tired of being alone, but they would never get it because they're never alone.
I feel you nona and I love you
Sorry anon, I feel you and can't offer any comforting words. Loneliness just sucks, and it is hard to escape. Just some things: >"Look at me, I have a small group of friends! That's okay!"
For most adults, if they have a small group of friends they can consider themselves lucky. It is very hard to maintain a large friend group when everyone is doing different things and leading different lifestyles after school/college/uni. Most people will only have their family and work acquaintances. >I scroll through my Facebook a lot
You should stop doing this. In fact, try living completely without Facebook for a while. What people post in social media isn't reality, and some people make the case of meeting with as many people as possible only to post pictures of their social events and present the public image of being well liked and social, when in reality they are just as lonely as you. Deep connection is rare, especially so in adulthood.
Keep yourself distracted anon.
Did you ever video chat? I'm sorry to say that you might have been catfished. It sucls but it's not your fault. Don't take it personally.
shouldn't everyone video chat someone before meeting up with them? seems like good advice.
and also I think it'd be a bit weird if someone just outright refused.
Thanks for your kind words. Well, we didn’t actually, but her profile had those checkmarks for persons confirmed real by the moderators. But yeah, a catfish still seems kinda possible, it just seemed a bit too good to be real, as I’ve never had anyone flirt with me so forwardly. sigh
Well tbh, I don’t think I’ve ever been seriously flirted with. Especially by women interested in other women. But enough with the self-pity. Guess it’s just time to move on.
man I'm the worst online friend you could have hahaha, and I'd eat my socks if I actually found someone on here who lived local>>67882>try living completely without Facebook for a while.
as much as I can do without social media I feel like I'm missing out no engaging in Instagram or Snapchat, I feel to shy in even making one and adding people I know.
will do better to stay distracted, thxs>>67880
thanks nona <3>>67838>>67878
v nice to have people resonate, I love to have friendship crushes because connections emotions and the mushy stuff is priceless
trust me you're missing out of nothing when you skip out of IG and fb.
Why do I -literally- feel like I'm internally screaming so often ?
It's genuinely my inner voice screaming in my head
Could be a lot of things, do you have a meaningful direction in life or just bogged down in the miasma of "comfy middle class living"?
I really don't know.
I'm feeling exhausted. I can't focus anymore at work during the day, and I have now freelance work during the evening. I can't stand the noise or strong visual stimuli anymore. I almost have no days off left. I have trouble to do paperwork, and keep procrastinating on important stuff in that regard (like getting a health insurance). I'm feeling socially exhausted aswell : I don't think I will be able to whitstand partying on halloween, if things don't get better. I had a lot of fun seeing my friends and going out with them, but it has taken a toll on me. I wish I could simply focus on my hobbies, but I can't : there is work and social obligations.
I don't feel unhappy or anything : I need rest, and I can't have it, because of le adult life meme.
the girl i talked for hours yesterday hasnt called or texted me :/ i texted her when i first got her number and she still hasnt saw that message even tho she's online. i thought we had a real connection
Well, it sounds like you're beating yourself over the head with "should"s constantly, tyrannizing yourself with, as you put it "social obligations" and "le adult life".
Do you have a clear goal for all of this or are just doing this because it's all you know how to do?
Thanks for your answer.
>Do you have a clear goal for all of this
The thing is, if I don't push myself to maintain friendships, I'm at risk of being, again, isolated and lonely, which is awful and depressing. So I have to push myself to keep up with friends social pace.
Also I will be criticized by my family if I don't visit them, or will regret it when my remaining grandparents will die.
Anyway it's easier to say no to friends than work : I accepted a freelance job now I have to finish it.
For work I decided that I will use earplugs from now on to isolate myself from chatter noise.
>>68017>The thing is, if I don't push myself to maintain friendships, I'm at risk of being, again, isolated and lonely, which is awful and depressing.
Okay, so what I got from this, in respect to my original question, is that you have some form of goal which is "do not be socially isolated and depressed", is this correct?
>Also I will be criticized by my family if I don't visit them, or will regret it when my remaining grandparents will die.
Again, in respect to my original question, is your goal "do not get criticized by family"?
Again you're beating yourself over the head with "should" statements, obviously towards some end, or you wouldn't be doing it. If what you were doing weren't at least working for you on same level to get towards something, you wouldn't be doing it, right?
>Anyway it's easier to say no to friends than work : I accepted a freelance job now I have to finish it.
Very dutiful, sounds like to me, though I may be wrong, you prioritize fulfilling your work and duties over friendship, which tells me your goals revolve more around your work than your friends? No?
>For work I decided that I will use earplugs from now on to isolate myself from chatter noise.
Earplugs to block out the "internal" screaming voice?
I'm done. I'm already dead. Had a miserable day that really put into scope
I can barely even talk aloud anymore; I can only respond in single words. I'm an animal…well, worse then that. I'm so painfully self-conscious it has seemingly replaced any personality I had.
I only learned how to speak when I was about 12 due to my parents abusing me and tbh I used to think I would be able to overcome it.
But I realize now that I can't. There's something broken or missing inside of me and it only gets worse over time. Sure, I had no friends back then but at least I could talk to someone if they talked to me. I was always empty-headed, emotionless, awkward, clumsy, and completely dense to social cues. I had no rich inner life then, yet I still had the audacity to think I was a-okay despite most human interaction I got was being bullied. I was always a bad, boring person.
But now I can't even hold a simple conversation in real life for fuck's sake., let alone act like an actual human being.
Over text I was able to pretend-ish. Put up a front. Years ago I met someone online and we fell in love and while we've always had so much fun together I…I realize I've just decayed and degraded over these years. And that I was lying to myself–I'm an imposter. He would never like the real me. I don't know why I even bothered.
the scummy neighbors upstairs are fighting again and with each fight i get more and more scared for their 2 children. they had a drink party last friday and i know alcohol and children don't mix.
i don't know if calling CPS is a good idea right now since
1. CPS in my country prioritize keeping the family together
2. i've only heard one incident of actual child abuse (the mother screaming and lashing out at one of the daughters, who was crying)
this is a beautiful cat, is it yours ?
also>the mother screaming and lashing out at one of the daughters, who was crying
is it really child abuse ? Parents can get exhausted too, and lash out. It's not that much of a big deal if it happen only very seldomly. But yeah, the substance abuse is concerning.
People who constantly sniffle and clear their throats are disgusting and annoying
Heavy day today. I'm okay, but I need to get my head back.
Yeah, my goal is my long term mental health. Isolation-induced depression isn't fun and I struggled with this for a lot of my developmental years.
>Earplugs to block out the "internal" screaming voice?
No, from outside noises, mostly my colleagues voices. I can't stand voice noises when i'm not actively listening to the conversations, they prevent me to focus and make me angry. I can't do much about my internal screams, sadly.
>Very dutiful, sounds like to me, though I may be wrong, you prioritize fulfilling your work and duties over friendship, which tells me your goals revolve more around your work than your friends? No?
Friends won't pay you rant and lolita dresses, work, on the other hand…
Day is bad
Baby steps despite bigger problems
Don't want to solve problems today
Just dumb down
Just want to forget the bad
Forced vaccinations for hairdressers in New Zealand.
Guess I need a new career.
Gee Jacinda totally isn't turning this into high school or anything.
sigh, honestly fuck people that keep on blaming people for looking bad. I deeply loathe this bullshit lookism catching onto the mainstream so now people are drones parroting what the billion dollar beauty industry want them to say.
All my life I've gotten shit like "she doesn't take care of herself" "she doesn't wash her face" and etc.
I have spent 100s of hours of my life visiting derms, using stuff like basic skincare and following guides…I have used tretinoin and various meds for acne for years….
…tried quitting putting anything on my face cold turkey (yes I wore big sun hats)…quit problematic foods and started eating healthy…
took up healthy exercise…meditation…quit all kinds of habits…
My face still looks like a pizza and I'm almost 30.
Turns out my skin is just like this.
I feel like the biggest chump for blaming myself and feeling ashamed for all these years.
I'm going to sound like a huge bitch for this, and I probably am but… holy fuck my friend is so fucking boring. He's so dull, having a conversation with him is like the equivalent of watching paint dry. He's a nice person but he's extremely dull.
& it makes me wonder, am I this fucking boring too? He's my only friend. It honestly puts me off people forever. I'd cut him off but I don't want to hurt his feelings. We've talked on and off for around 3 years and it was even worse in the first year or so because my social skills were a lot shittier. I can sort of carry a conversation now and I realize how dreadfully boring he is.
I want to talk to interesting people and have an actual engaging conversation for once, but I must be as boring as him and I don't want to put people through that. Once I finish uni I'm going to go full Ted Kaczynski and fuck off to some tiny cabin somewhere.
Jovial, friendly, very handsome young Irish doctor told me I have a beautiful name today, and told me I should use my first and middle names together as it sounds pretty.
Why must doctorchads tease depressed lonely vulnerable khv femcels this way?
I just made my crush a rather stoic person laugh and I cried a lot
What the fuck does he talk about lol
Maybe you should teach him how to have a more exciting conversation>>68112>honestly fuck people that keep on blaming people for looking bad. I deeply loathe this bullshit lookism catching onto the mainstream so now people are drones parroting what the billion dollar beauty industry want them to say.
fucking this lol
I also hate this shit about rating people like "she/he is a 7/10" (according to who lol) and such, it's honestly pretty dehumanizing. God I'm so sick of lookism. And then the people who feel ugly as fuck and unlovable because of it, end up promoting the same bullshit, while complaining about lookism in the same breath, lmao.
I wish everyone liked me
It's not fair
that sounds exhausting! why do you want everyone to like you? is it specific people within your life or do you just wish you got along well with everyone you meet?
Yeah I feel you, I've been thinking the same. It's particularly disheartening when it comes from fellow women since I don't have any expectations for men anymore. I can't imagine using a number scale to rate a human being, even if it's meant to be only superficial it feels like grading meat produce or something, even marks as high as "9/10" implicate there is something missing, a flaw the subject needs to fix before they can finally be complete. It never sat right with me.
You would think people subject to this kind of dehumanization would know better than to spread it onto others, but more often than not they adopt the same mindset, it's just sad.
I wish I had a sense of humor. Or a soul, tbh.
As a teen I might have been friendless, but I still laughed once every few months or smiled. I'm a zombie now. Every social situation I begin with extreme fear and worrying about how I have nothing to do like clockwork.
I show no emotion because I'm afraid of being judged.
It's been months since I last laughed now and my brain, thoughts, ideas all have flatlined.
Dread is all that remains for me and I wish things didn't have to be like this…I wish I didn't have to be like this.
Kotoura-san - 01 -…
>normies think something must be wrong with you if you've never kissed anyone by adulthood
Well what am I supposed to do, forcibly grab and kiss a boy against his will?
IKTF. There’s this dual attitude in which all persons are free from every form of discrimination and mockery…
except when it’s about the lack of romantic experiences, which is acceptable to be put under question, and to determine her innate worth on.
That’s why I don’t trust the normies.
>watch that Polar movie on netflix with bf
>comes to the scene where mads' character get his eye ripped out
>bf covers my eyes and says "you shouldn't see this its a bit too gory"
>feel rather condescended to but also extremely happy that he chose to be protective of me
>too autistic to tell if my roommate dislikes me or not
I hate not being able to recognize how she feels about me. I don't want to spend extra money on my own apartment but at the same time I feel like I have to do more of the chores because I get more stressed about dishes piling up or trash, so I'm usually the one that has to clean. I've talked to her about it but I didn't really articulate myself and now I'm afraid she dislikes me more and I also don't want to talk about it again because that would be mean. She literally did nothing and I still feel very troubled around her, I feel like I mess up every interaction.
tbh it sounds like you're rly overthinking it
you're probably right, maybe it's time to try and stop thinking about how she feels about me
I can't load /b/, /hb/, nor /meta/. Are those boards down? Is it just a me problem?
Say "thank you for protecting me" then slap him so you're no longer the only one feeling conflicted.
thanks for replying nonita I was worried I got myself banned (am on my best behaviour, kek), have a good day!
I just tried to reply to a thread and a new window opened saying it’s locked.
Yesterday, I got a pop-up informing that there’s no space left on the drive. My assumption is that the servers are having a storage problem.
/b/ works for me now, but /hb/ and /meta/ are just blank
Currently watching Chris Chan youtube documentaries so I feel better about myself and my shitty non existent love life. Could be worse welp.
I objectively did not eat a lot today, and I ate nothing unhealthy, but I'm scared. I feel guilty for feeling so full. I know it's natural to feel full after eating a meal, especially if you technically haven't eaten the whole day. I won't purge or anything, but my stupid fucking brain won't stop harassing me.
I'm worried I won't reach my goal weight. I'm doing everything right but I'm so afraid.
wish i had been born in a cozy european country (sweeden or somewhere) rather than the states. japan could've been nice too. i just am growing to hate the states day by day.
only downside is that i might've been white. no offense to white people of course, but i like my current race.
>>68196>only downside is that i might've been white
I saw a 4chan screencap recently about a guy who hadn't showered in literal years and he posted pics and all. That made me feel a lot better about my loser ass, lmao.
Reading this with an image from a Korean show feels weird
I absolutely hate my long philtrum. It makes me look SO ugly, and it's not something I can control. I can't afford lip fillers nor plastic surgery, so I'm doomed to look like a fucking chimpanzee.
I don't even know what a philtrum is, so you're probably okay, Nona.
I yelled at my mom and said terrible things to her. I love her so much I'm just in so much pain I didn't ask to be born. I know she didn't want to isolate me when she homeschooled me. It's not her fault Dad's abuse got in the way of a lot of things it was hard on everyone especially her. I freak out knowing she's in her 50s she's my best friend
I'm really starting to dislike my online friend. She constantly lies about her skills and exaggerates her achievements to a comical point. I thought she was joking at first, but now I that she is simply conceited and too dumb to realize how ridiculous the extent of her lies are.
It's the space between your nose and upper lip. I didn't know what it was either until I saw some incels on scrotechan posting about it. Mine's pretty much as long as pic rel.
I don't know, I just really want to be liked. I guess it doesn't have to be everyone but I want to do things that people value and will make people love me and adore me because so far everyone just thinks I'm a joke.
Would a female blackpill thread work? Like we make threads where a few of us autists discuss "blackpills" the same way male incels do, but we focus on female traits instead.
I've been thinking about creating one on /hb/ for some time now.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhHleH3BYCI
I'm starting to despise my brother's girlfriend. They genuinely had a better relationship when they were friends.
We didn't talk much before but whenever we did she was fun and nice. But as soon as they got into a relationship, she did a complete 180. They haven't been together for a month yet but have argued at least 3 times over the stupidest shit (him not instantly replying to her messages or him saying something she doesn't like). She seriously keeps damaging his mental health by saying he's never good enough, he's always mean to her, he doesn't care about her and so on (none of which is true, he's babying her and the only time he says something that she dislikes is when she hits his arm or calls him a nickname he hates).
What happened 2 days ago made me lose my shit though. While the 2 of us were hanging out, she called him. He told her I was in the room and they kept talking. At some point my brother made a dumb joke to which we both laughed and I commented on the joke. She hung up on him. He tried calling her a few times but she kept hanging up on him. She then proceeded to say how I have no right to comment and that "you and your sister are too close, it's disgusting".
I'm still fucking seething. She then talked about more things like how he doesn't care about her because he talks to other people about his problems instead of JUST WITH HER, and how he's always hurting her and will never change because "he's used to it". Fuck off you selfish cunt, he stopped smoking and cutting himself because of you and all you do is fucking complain, damage his mental health and try to cut out everyone in his life. Newsflash, you're not married and even if you were that doesn't mean every other relationship he has has to end.
And she as the fucking gall to tell him what he can't talk about with his friends and family members, while we're in our own home. Yeah no, some selfish brat that came out of her mother's woomb yesterday is not gonna fucking order me around in my own home.
We've all been patient with her, been as nice and understanding as possible. That's gonna change from now on. She's gonna act like a passive-agressive cunt to my mother again? No problem, enjoy your spit coffee. Gonna tell me what I can/can't do in my house? All good, enjoy being called a nickname you hate. Enjoy while you can.
I’m strongly considering unlifing myself. I’ve lived alone for almost 10 years, been single the majority of it. The past 2 years I’ve worked from home too, barely leave my home, rarely see people. Unfortunately also extrovert so not enjoying this. I reach out to friends and they don’t reply, I try to make new friends but no luck. Pre-existing friends don’t invite me anywhere. Dating apps are full of boring cumbrains. I like someone but it’s only one way. What’s the fucking point. I want to just rage quit life.
I want to double down on derangement and go full schizo. My current self doesn’t know how to live.
today i received a call from the company i did an internship in and they want to hire me as a trainee developer. it's my first tech job and i'm only 2 years deep in my course so it makes me somewhat proud of myself. i was supposed to be happy and tell everyone about it but there is no one to tell it to. i broke up a relationship a year ago and lost all my social life. no friends. only talk to ex and only do small talk with family. told my mom and she barely gave me a smile because we had a fight earlier. didn't tell my ex because we had fought earlier today too. my only source of interaction is a fake facebook account where i can share funny posts with edgy teenagers and a few of ex's friends. no hobbies, no interests, just a shell with hatred for anyone with meaning. for everyone who is smart, self-confident and who thinks of themselves as important.
i live in this reality where all my problems are self-made and there is no accurate way to measure when i'm being the villain and when i'm the victim of predatory people.
Lonely women can still lead a very aesthetic life. Romanticize your loneliness and depression. Be the mysterious quiet sad lady who nobody knows anything about.
i wish i could stop being so weak. i let people hurt me too much. one of my friends randomly blocked me and it upset me. i lost some other friends because one of them bragged about touching me when i was drunk (he made me bleed) i didnt want anyone to know. now they do. now they arent my friend. why does this happen? i try to be good, but i need to know if im just being too weak about these things. i shouldnt be so hurt about losing shitty people but i have no self respect and im lonely so losing people hurts.
I sold a body product on depop to someone and it somehow spoiled in shipping. She shipped it back/returned it and accused me of a false listing when it most likely sat in a truck all day and got ruined.
Thank you but I already have done that, I live in the cutest little apartment I’ve been able to decorate how I desire but I just feel so unfulfilled by it now as the novelty has worn off.
I think my friend is a narcissist, but it's hard to let go of her since I have so few friends. She only seems to care about her life, what she has to say, and what she thinks most of the time. She frequently talks over me and only responds with "Uh-huh", when I say something. Confronted her about it today and she proceeded to keep acting like this. I feel I want to lash out and scream at her because of how insufferable it is. She's already displayed several large warning signs about being a narcissist, but I chose to ignore them and to only keep getting closer to her. There's no one else in my life to bitch about this either, because I only have my family and they're a bunch of narcissists that would just gaslight me with "You don't like anybody", "You always have a problem with someone", etc. etc. if I told them about this.
you could limit contact without fully cutting her out or doing anything dramatic. don't let people into your life if they're having a negative impact on it, however, should you determine you made a mistake you don't want to burn bridges unnecessarily
The "goal" isn't have friends.
It's feeling supported. Seen.
This person isn't really your friend either; you're like their orbiter.
It might be relieving in the moment to at least have someone there. But it's probably not good for you, your mental health, or how you associate with others.
I've seen people slowly grow more and more bitter over insisting on maintaining connections with toxic people, and also waste the time they could have spent looking for better friends. Yes, this isn't easy. But, well, even if that fails, being alone isn't the worst thing ever.
Thanks. I tried this, but then I found myself unable to gauge how much of my contact would be too little (so she doesn't get suspicious) or too much. And since we always talk online when not in person, it's been too tempting not to message her or reply to one of her messages.
If I did let her go, I'd just start contacting my mom more anyway because - despite being a raging narcissist who's said and done atrocious things to me - she's the only other person I have. And cutting out both of them would leave me truly alone in the world, which I'm terrified of. >>68263
Yeah, it really feels like she "wants friends, but doesn't want to be a friend". She's never once referred to me as her friend, even though I thought we obviously have that kind of relationship now. She's also like that with her romantic/sex life too - constantly seeking out people only with the intention of making them into her next romantic and/or sexual relationship, rather than caring about who they are as people. Some of the ways she has talked about the people she is seeing makes me find her disgusting and just creepy.
Yeah, I've definitely felt myself getting increasingly bitter these days. Somehow, I feel like I'm turning into a worse person and I wonder if that's not a result of hanging around her. One great fear from having been raised by narcissists is that I would eventually turn into one, and I'm especially prone to picking up traits from friends.
Technically, I do have a few other "friends" I've made, although I'm not as close with them. But they are very sweet people, so I'd much rather give them more of my time. Now here's to hoping I don't or haven't already ruined it with them, from orbiting this person and starting to become like them.
My mother went through my fucking phone again. Keep in mind I'm 21 not 12. It's so embarrassing because last night I was drunk and I usually send nudes when drunk and I don't want my mother to see my fucking tits.
What's funnier is that all my convos are in English and she doesn't understand jack shit of it so I don't know what the fuck she's looking for honestly.
Fuck, I can't even remember if I saw it here or on another imageboard. I'll see if I can find it.
I'm feeling overly sympathetic over this one specific female NSFW artist on Twitter who draws very controversial things, and I don't know why.
I won't name names, but there's like a collective of people who dox her and try to ruin her life, but they don't target any of the far worse, more known artists (typically moids) bc ????. I find it so hard not to WK her, even though I know it'd be pointless and even counterproductive. The whole thing just feels unfair
Stop sending your tits to strangers you sloppy bitch lol
What's wrong with that exactly? you sound like a scrote.
First mistake of hers was to use Twitter. Second mistake was to not distance herself from those people as much as possible. Third mistake probably giving away too much information about herself. Unfortunately there isn't much that can be done, not that I know at least. God damn, I hate witch hunts and cancel culture, they end up affecting people who haven't really done anything wrong and can't defend themselves, such as small online artists. All because some people were offended.
What kind of controversial stuff does she draw? If it's too specific and would reveal who it is, don't say it though.
I really want to know who you're talking about…
He doesn't appreciate me
He doesn't support me
He doesn't make me feel loved
He doesn't make me feel needed
He doesn't love me period
He is wasting his life fooling around
I'm too focused on him
I'm throwing my life away for his
I want him but he wants other people more than me
It's hard to desire other people when I keep wanting to monopolize him
I don't feel so good about this career
I don't feel good about myself
I'm too dependent on people
I don't know what's wrong with ne
I deserve to suffer
What the actual fuck is wrong with your mother, holy shit. Yes, you are an adult, you can send nudes to whoever the fuck you want. It sounds like your mother is far too controlling over your life. My own mom often sticks her nose in where she shouldn't in my life and it's creepy as hell. I wish I could afford to move out but both of my parents have suckered me into a life of dependency on them without bothering to teach me how to be an adult. They really let me down and life trying to adjust to adulthood has been difficult, if you can even call the situation I'm in "adulthood".>>68295
We're not in the 2000's anymore, pickme. Thousands of images of tits exist on the web, and now people profit off of them too.
situation with my dad is sooo complicated sometimes. buckle up because it's boring and like, a soap opera.
first off: i'll never forget that when i first got kicked from my mom's place to his for deciding to go to community college instead of uni outright (i was maybe 17, and didn't want to immediately face down debt), he had this long, overly loud phone-call bragging on my COUSIN who he ran away to raise who happened to get into her university with a full ride (?) scholarship. like he looked at me, while speaking to whomever he was speaking to, while going "haha yeah, sure is great to be smart :) and get scholarships :) ;)"
she's since dropped out to do like…soft porn in california, and wheedle and cry to her mother about money every day, but whatever.
he also love love LOVES bragging on my elder, adopted step brother, who dropped out of college too (and there's nothing wrong with that! i'm just saying) and bummed with him for years until becoming a cop. i mean, yeah. being married with a kid at ~28 is the american dream, i know, but fuck who cares.
whereas i'm going for a hard major, doing relatively okay in my courses, and he just…he doesn't give a shit, he never asks about school. and when it does come up in conversation he acts so fucking condescending.
last semester i rewarded myself for scoring a b in a tough class with a pizza, and he was all "aah…you gotta try harder for those a's…." instead of just idk congratulating me on my fucking b like a normal parent
She probably does it out of love and a desire to protect you but obviously she needs to look for better ways to show it
Maybe it's because I'm not 40 yet but I would think searching through my 21 year-old daughter's phone is a massive sign of disrespect for her privacy and overly excessive. If she wasn't 18 yet I might because that's a major issue over my adult daughter being horny with boys. There's healthier ways to talk about these things than just ripping someone's phone out of their hands and going through the photos.
I agree. It's got nothing to do with age, it's your mother's personal issue.
>first off: i'll never forget that when i first got kicked from my mom's place to his for deciding to go to community college instead of uni outright (i was maybe 17, and didn't want to immediately face down debt), he had this long, overly loud phone-call bragging on my COUSIN who he ran away to raise who happened to get into her university with a full ride (?) scholarship. like he looked at me, while speaking to whomever he was speaking to, while going "haha yeah, sure is great to be smart :) and get scholarships :) ;)"
I'll never understand this stigma towards community college. At the community college I went to, I met some the most hard-working, mature, and dedicated towards their education group of students. Granted, many of them were older, with children and/or married, so I'm sure that also contributed to their different perspective and attitude towards college.
However, ever since I decided to go back to my four-year college, I've been disgusted at the
pervasive immaturity with people there - even ones already going into their third or fourth year. People who are going to college through most or all of their parent's help, still live at home, and have never faced much of any real adult responsibilities or hardships yet will take their education much more for granted and tend to screw off or half-ass everything all the time. (Had a classmate literally brag about playing a video game during one of our exams, I'm not kidding.)
I had no idea what I was going to my four-year college for either when I first started, which is part of why I went to community college to figure my shit out in the first place, but I doubt most of these entitled little shits will ever figure that out if they find a way to just keep skirting by with minimal work. I hate most of my classmates now and miss the intelligent, not immaturely obnoxious and pseudo-intellectual, discussions I had with the people I met back at community college. They were also some of the first people I did a group project with that actually put effort into it.
My parents scold me fr drinking energy drinks while getting shitfaced and making me cut myself because of it, and then they get upset that I have new cuts on my arm
Time to move out
Energy drinks do harm your health, try to limit yourself
Try buying a lotion cream so your scars don't become rashes and wear long sleeves.
Let him go
Don't become dependent on him, support yourself. Focus on you, as lonely as you'll feel, it's better than having to become someone else that's not you.
I was watching a video about the Tokyo strain stabbing today (some incel dressed up as the joker and stabbed dozens of people on a packed Tokyo train this Halloween, in case anyone is out of the loop)
I didn’t realize there was also another train stabbing a couple months ago in Tokyo, where the guy was also an incel who apparently wanted to target ‘happy looking women.’ And a couple years before that in Japan too, some incel stabbed a bunch of 6-7 year old schoolgirls then himself. It’s honestly making me so angry and worried for women’s safety all over the world, the fact this keeps happening somewhere so safe as Japan is also really worrying.
I hate incels so fucking much. They spend their entire lives in their rooms jerking off to women being beaten and raped then abloobloobloo about not having a gf when they’re ugly, they’re horrible people, they stink, they’re just absolute toilets of human beings who don’t deserve love or human rights. I hate these primitive freaks so much, you don’t see femcels or female virgin spinsters doing this kind of shit. My hate for men just grows everyday.
And yeah people might call me a hypocrite for hating men but I only hate them because they literally want to assault and rape and murder women. Meanwhile men who hate women hate us because Stacy wont suck their dick, or because a girl made fun of their haircut in the 5th grade, or their mom told them to clean their room. Misandry is not an organic form of hate, its simply a reaction to their hate for and violence towards us.
Read about the causes for this kind of phenomenon. It helps to be able to understand why this happens and what can be done about it, even if you don't have the power to change it.
Also, remember that Japan isn't that safe either. It's a meme
I ended things with someone I wasn't even dating over a week ago. I know we weren't compatible but I got so attached to his daily texts I feel so sad without him in my life. I know it's not him that I miss, it's more the feeling that I got when he would message me. He wasn't even a good texter, he left me on delivered for hours.
The causes for these things are unpleasant sexually frustrated losers taking their shortcomings out on innocent strangers.
>>68373>he left me on delivered for hours
Then you dodged a bullet anyway, forget dudes who play games like that.
This is why I carry pepper spray and a knife in my bag even though it’s technically illegal in my cucked country, and I tell all my friends and female relatives to do the same. Being in public isn’t safe especially for women, there are lots of lone wolf weirdos out there laying in wait. Makes me think of those poor people in Norway who just went out to buy some groceries and ended up being shot by some asshole with a bow. Imagine just going to buy cereal and some incel asshole starts shooting people with a damn bow and arrow. It’s terrible. Incel concentration/re-education camps soon hopefully. The government needs to start cracking down on neckbeards, China style.
japan is a haven for porn, prostitution, soaplands, hostess bars, compensated dating, even rental gfs and cuddle cafes etc so they cant even use sexual frustration as an excuse.
That's obvious as fuck, but there are reasons behind that too. But whatever, if you wanna blame it all on "male nature" then go ahead, if it's what helps you sleep at night.
(doublepost)>>68376>It’s terrible. Incel concentration/re-education camps soon hopefully. The government needs to start cracking down on neckbeards, China style.
This though, is based.
>>68379>there are reasons behind that too
Awww did stacy reject you anon? Are you gonna shoot up a school now?
I meant there are reasons why Japanese society is having so many inceloid mass and serial murderers, and to read more to know what can be done to fix that social ill, not only in Japan but in any country. Stop being so paranoid and read carefully next time. Jesus fucking christ, some people here need to log off for a while.
what? it is male nature if that's how men respond to society annoying them. women can go off and do the same too. but, nope.
if it looks better we can just say it's male nature when it's been twisted. I have no issues with blaming male issues for certain things like incels stabbing men. >>68383
is still kinda valid tho, it's just if it involves women being encouraged or forced to date losers >>68386
is right. Japan is super fucked up in terms of its social structure/norms sometimes and this is showing in the "death by overwork" thing or the hikikomori thing, etc.
I was talking to this guy. Then he stopped talking to me. After that, I did something that got me a lot of (positive) attention on my account, and I got a bunch of guys flirting with me there, but it wasn't the same. I stopped checking the site, and forced myself to stop looking at his account, but I still thought about him a lot (even though he ghosted me). I really had brain worms related this one specific dude.
I decided to check my account today after a month, and he hasn't even blocked me. He's just deleted his entire account. Years worth of posts, all gone.
I'm super sad, I really liked him. I'm a little bit scared that he tried to message me at some point, but since I stopped checking my account, I just never saw it. I'm probably just paranoid, though. It's possible he completely forgot about me way before the deletion.
Maybe he found a girlfriend, and she told him to take the account down. Maybe he's just focusing on work and wants to stop being distracted by internet girls. Fuck knows. I miss him, I wish we kept talking.
At the same time, part of me feels like "It's over. I'm finally free of my fixation, I can let go". But I just wish he'd come back. Like, what did I do wrong?
I always blamed my lack of friends on everyone else but maybe it's me Maybe I'm the weirdo.
I don't think you did anything wrong anon, it sounds like all of this happened because he made a choice (or was forced to make one by someone or something as you mentioned). I know it's hard to let go, but try to occupy your mind with something else.
If it were only incels. Most femicide is committed by the male partners.
I think about my mom dying every day and it stresses me out so much. She’s not ill and she’s in her late 50s but I think about how one day she’ll be gone. We’re not even close. It makes me want to hug her but I can’t show affection to my parents.
anons, how do you manage your anxiety in high-stress situations? is it possible to train your body to tone down its fight-or-flight response? I'm young and there's an older abuser in my family that has, over time, made me terrified each time he's awake or talking to the others as he has proven that no matter the situation, he might go crazy. I worry about the others.
my body starts freaking out, my belly and chest hurts, and my heart races.
I worry that I won't be able to act when the time comes. Last time I was able to call 911 and I at least managed and didn't cry that much…but still. What if I need to physically protect my mom? I don't know.
this tiny wild cat is cute and i want to pet it
sadly i don't have a cat ;(
i know lashing out isn't always child abuse but if it happens too often i think the parent has some problems
today they were screaming and fighting again and i couldn't handle the anxiety and went upstairs to check on them. i rang the bell and a really scummy looking old man said everything's ok (they went almost silent after that) and it didn't make my anxiety about them better, in fact i'm worried a lot worse because that man just looked like he abuses alcohol and there's a plastic bottle filled to the brim with cig butts in their daughter's stroller… and they live two fucking stories above but that's to the builders who made these paper thin walls.
>>68451>is it possible to train your body to tone down its fight-or-flight response?
Yes ..in the military.
>>68451>anons, how do you manage your anxiety in high-stress situations? is it possible to train your body to tone down its fight-or-flight response?
Yes, relatively simple (not easy, simple) to do so.
last month, my grandfather passed away. He was the sweetest, most patient, kindest man I ever knew. A truly impressive man.
He was too good to be true in my eyes, (esp for a man) and I honestly expected when we went through his stuff we would find something scandalous.
Not so. Just photos of grandma, his kids, and words of wisdom that he kept written down, all of which had to do with being kind to those around him, the importance of discipline, etc.
I'm still in shock. I wish I spent more time with him while I still could, having a shining example of what a man could and should be around me and appreciating it while he was still around. It all happened so fast. Be kind to the people who love you in your life, anons
I hope you feel better soon, he must've been someone really nice to be around, I wish I had a grandfather like yours. Wishing you the best <3
I'm so sorry anon. At least you got to meet him.
I'm such a fucking coward
It took me 6 months to get a piece of paper signed because I needed to find a "good time" to get it signed
The only brave social moments I have is right after a breakdown in the bathroom
You can get better friend! I believe in you!
I am so trapped by the idea that he’s going to treat me better, and he always lets me down in the moments that I need him most.
he wont treat you better, dump him and move on
I'm trying so hard to make friends but girls don't even want to talk to me, it's just moids who talk to me. And I wouldn't even mind a moid friend but they always want a relationship. Girls either ghost me or make fun of me behind my back, what the fuck.
Sounds like social anxiety, not cowardness.>>68451
Certain breathing excersises can help you calm down, google it. Though I don't know if they'll be helpful in literal abuse situations, be safe.
im so lonely :((( he left me and i cant stand being alone
This time will feel like a little more than a memory some time soon anon, you'll eventually feel content and happy with your free time, sorry about your moid.
I don't want to sound like a schizo, but I don't feel like a person. More like a shell of one. I'm so devoid of… everything. I have no personality, no talents, no redeemable qualities. At least if I were good looking I could get some moid attention to temporarily fill the void, but no.
I feel like I have nothing to offer to anyone, I'll never have a friend, or a lover. But I want to, I want to have friends to hang out with and someone to fall in love with… but all of that seem so alien to me. & every time I try to make online friends they all end up ghosting me… I know I'm the problem.
I don't go out because all of my classes are online, I spend my days browsing imageboards and I've tried hobbies I can do at home, but nothing sticks since I'm so depressed and have absolutely no motivation. I've already tried therapy (with several different therapists) and multiple medications. Nothing ever works. I'm so tired of this shallow existence. I want out out out.
My friend/crush keeps leaving me on read, I know he’s busy with a lot of personal stuff he’s having to deal with and he usually replies at a later time. When he does reply it’s usually high energy too. I’m getting mixed messages and crying like a little bitch each time this happens. We are supposed to be meeting again in a few weeks but at this stage I want to cancel before he does.
what's even the point of living if you feel like you've already met the perfect man, but he's taken with children?
i guess i have to find goals in life that aren't marriage. but god, this man talks about how much he loves his children and it just makes my heart ache. i'll never have a man as good as him so i shouldn't even bother being a mother.
i wish i lived in america so i had access to guns and could end it all at the snap of a finger
makes 2 of us. i know i'm going 2 kill myself but i'm scared of fucking it up. i'm hoping 2 go 2 america once our borders open for international travel and try and get someone 2 buy me a gun.
Don't do it friends! Life is really nice, I hope you can find you happiness, but try out praying, it's a great way to find some connection to Who's really there
>>68368>they’re ugly, they’re horrible people, they stink, they’re just absolute toilets of human beings who don’t deserve love or human rights.
doesn't this kind of thinking create a loop where hating incels creates more of them and thus people hate them more and so and so
I was in the library earlier and was procrastinating on my phone or whatever scrolling through Facebook which I never usually do, but while browsing it came up with a friend suggestion and on my screen was the profile picture of this kid who I used to go to school with. I'm pretty sure they may have been autistic or something, but holy fuck their first name on Facebook was a Japanese name and they had blue hair or whatever. And honestly, seeing this kid or whatever end up like this made me sucidial for some reason. I'm not writing this as a "DAE hate troons" post, I just feel as if it's tragic autistic kids on that end of the spectrum can end up like that, bottom of the pit in society.
I think it's my personal insecurity. I was a weird kid too but I was fair "dead on" in the eyes of some kids who didnt mind me or thought I was aight or whatever. Maybe when I saw this kid I saw him as a reject and projected myself onto him? Anyway this is a weird post but I wanted to see if anyone could sympathise with this. Do you ever feel depressed or miserable seeing the harsh realities of others? As if it's a reality that is possible for yourself?
No because it's not other people's fault they choose to be deranged. Most incels I've met have ample opportunity to improve their lives but they are too entitled to stop jerking off and go do something about it. They blame society instead of changing because they think things should be handed to them. It's not the mean evil women bullying them on the internet that cause them to shoot up schools, it's their pure entitlement.
Kinda, but people hating them isn't the only thing. If anything, it just serves as an excuse ("people hate incels so it's your fault there's more of us"), but it's not the real underlying cause. I think you can safely shit on them as much as you want without worrying about creating more of them, because that's not what makes men become incels.>>68587>Most incels I've met have ample opportunity to improve their lives but they are too [whatever] to stop jerking off and go do something about it
Isn't depression pretty similar, though?>It's not the mean evil women bullying them on the internet that cause them to shoot up schools
Well, obviously, but you have to consider that society is totally fucked now and incel mass murderers are but one of the symptoms of a rotten system. It is not the fault of women but incels are what they are for a reason (that they may or may not failt to identify).
Don't get me wrong, I fucking hate incels too but I just try to not obsess over them, since there's nothing I can do to rid the world of that mental illness.
Why should anyone love a pathological wretch like a porn addicted racist woman hating pervert obsessed with violence and revenge? If incels want unconditional love despite being terrible people then maybe they should turn to Jesus.
Comparing depression to inceldom is dumb. Most depressed people aren’t a pathology, or constantly seeking retribution and revenge on le society. The ones who do, like mass shooters and terrorists are demonized and rightly so. Whether you’re depressed or not, you can choose not to actively harm others. So many incels WANT to harm others, because they cant get their 11/10 natural blonde Norwegian jailbait tiktok Stacy with perfect perky D cup tits or some other retarded bullshit.
Incels are generally brimming with spite and a desire to spread nastiness to other people, some are hellbent on destruction and getting back at everyone, the dudes you see shooting up malls and supermarkets are definitely these kinds of incels too, I’m tired of reading their disgusting porn fuelled revenge fantasies about forming rape gangs, kidnapping little girls to groom and rape, or killing women on campuses and shit. It’s just lucky most of them are too lazy and demotivated to peel their sweaty ass off their gaymer chair and act on these vile urges.
is saying that a woman should love them. That anon is just stating a fact.
holy shit, what's with the weirdly religious natalists on this site?
yes I expect the occasional anti-natalist but I don't expect the extremely pretentious natalists that think having kids is for the best of most women and etc.
even if no one responds wanted to vent regardless.
as someone who has a horrible incel in my family and has been on incel servers and spaces (for morbid research purposes–I quite a long time ago thank god), I can assure you that it's rarely the "wow that unwashed ugly guy is the scum of the earth!" that's the problem and that "society" is…kind of reductive?
Yes, society is shady but it'd practically have to be Utopian (or dystopian?) to keep incels from popping up.
1. their pathological preoccupation and entitlement related to porn/sex/women and refusal to look for greater purpose in life–their envy and fixation is primal in nature because it's over what they see as a necessary
commodity that's immorally denied to them. This is a very basic biological process. Their rage is equitable to a dog getting frustrated at someone touching its toy. Moreover, it has popped up from the frustration in biological and societal inequality…an inequality that can't be fixed, only devalued in nature (incels refuse to devalue it and literally have 1000s of essays "proving" why they should be obsessed)
2. massive amounts of what sets incels off and radicalizes them is the most innocent shit. Many genuinely think a woman having a preference for tall men is the same as calling someone subhuman or something and should be punished; it doesn't take stuff like >>68368
3. the fact that the 1000s of "blackpill" circles that exist actually do MASSIVE amounts of harm and radicalization; refusing to challenge or actually truly help one another, making it a sport to be as fucked up as possible and develop and weaponize any point of victimhood they can find and then beat one another bloody with it over and over again; the feigned companionship and memes is a cover for the psychological damage done
Past a certain point you should actually say people should have self-responsibility. Society is nasty, it's just I feel like people kind of…are having trouble with accepting how much of this stuff is just cult-type shit.
I'd like more case studies of violent "incels" that have never had access to the internet tbh.
Finally gonna leave that incel shithole soon… Why do these assholes have to ruin everything, I was pretty comfortable on that site until they came back.>>68608>I can assure you that it's rarely the "wow that unwashed ugly guy is the scum of the earth!" that's the problem
Yeah, I never meant to imply anything like that. In fact, I said that people shitting on incels (a natural reaction I might add) is not really the problem.>1.
What I mean when I say it's "society's fault" is that these incels are taught that women and sex have a certain value, that having sex and being married or whatever is the ultimate goal of a man's life, so when they can't get any of those they feel like failures and try to get revenge on who they perceive are responsible for their failure.
Another reason why I say that is that social relations are fucked now, people don't socialize and form communities in real life nearly as they used to, people don't spend time around people of the opposite sex so they become socially awkward and perpetually single and frustrated, we become detached from reality, people's self-esteem is damaged beyond repair, more mental illness, etc. and that just makes everyone lonely and depressed which leads to bitter lonely men finding incel communities and such (and yes, self-responsibility plays a role here but the necessary conditions for a man to turn into an incel, like education and a lack of socialization, are there because of how our society works).>Moreover, it has popped up from the frustration in biological and societal inequality…an inequality that can't be fixed, only devalued in nature (incels refuse to devalue it and literally have 1000s of essays "proving" why they should be obsessed)
Yes, and that's why incels shouldn't be allowed to spread their ideas that are out of touch with reality. This is also a problem with society because we allow anyone form online communities to spread their ideas, even if they're harmful.
I am sure that this can be changed, but since the system isn't changing anytime soon, it's pretty safe to assume that it's only gonna get worse during our lifetimes and we're gonna have to keep dealing with that shit.
I want you tell you that you are a precursor. In the future, more and more people will feel like you. Think about the effect the pandemic had on teenagers, or even kids. Things will only get worse. I wonder what will happen when people feeling like you will be the majority. Will we be ruled by an elite of normies that managed to stay happy, despite everything ? Or we will undergo drastic societal change ? Will society collapse ?
So many questions, so little answers.
Keep in mind that the people considering you like a loser, will likely have offspring that will feel just like you do, if that's of any help.
>being told that I look like a sim
What does that means
Why do you not expect to see them here? These are the sort of people who are drawn to imageboards, youtube comment sections and so forth.
right before class i find out that my father threw away a $100 VISA gift card when he came over. and i took out the trash last night. i need it. this is actually making me feel sick. he always does this, you don't even know the stuff he's thrown away, like my laptop and worse
Really? I thought it was more the other way around. I don't expect redpiller tradwives to flock to a radfem-ish or femcel-ish imageboard.
It really depends how social services work in your country, but I'm not sure you can make them check the family if you haven't "seen" anything that is in itself an abusive act. They probably have legal restrictions and procedures. It really depend on the legislation where you live. You should look up how to file a report, and under which conditions. In my country it's usually childcare workers and teachers that do it.>>68605
I've noticed it for a while. They also guilt trip you if you're not in a LTR, if you are a working mother, and use gay men as a boogeyman to spread homophobic discourses. They're nowhere as bad as redpilled moids tho.
how tf can genes fuck over one person so hard?
I was getting better about my body image issues in the way I was caring a lot less about the way I looked then saw a group picture of myself and I looked so bizarre and unsettling. I was the skinniest one technically (in the lowest pant size way) yet looked larger than the others because of my huge shoulders and bulging, huge ribcage, height, and head. I remember not even recognizing myself and being weirded out by how I looked as compared to the others too.
I got to 18 BMI and had a waist hip ratio of 1.0. I made peace with having no feminine curves but I realize the problem is that my body just looks hideous. even girls with "boyish" bodies still look 100x better than me.
I hate men I hate men I hate men I HATE THEM I HATE THEM
The more I find out about how the world really works and human nature, the more I hate all of humanity. Both as a collective and individuals. Humans are a plague and everything is meaningless.
I have been feeling like this for a while but I'm afraid to express it to anyone for fear of being told I'm just depressed or pessimistic. I know I'm not wrong though, the evidence is all around us and is obvious to anyone observing from an objective standpoint. I can only assume everyone else is either to dumb to notice or knows but prefers to live with their head in the sand.
I do admire people who are working hard to do great things because there's no way I could summon up that much optimism and drive. For me, everything feels so pointless and I avoid others as much as possible though I feel a bit lost because of it.
Instead of society, I kind of just want to say boys/men/biology are the primary drivers of it tbh. If it was just society then there'd be more female school shooters and etc. For example while it's true that men are encouraged to fixate on what they do, it also just stands that these are just men that are left to who they really are without a metric ton of positive social enforcement and surrounded by other bitter men.
The mere fact that such social structures and support need to be involved just to keep maladapted men upright is unrealistic. That's why so many men can grow up in nonbroken families but still end up incels and etc; it's a failure to thrive and exercise prosocial behaviors that women tend to do more by default, and an increased tendency towards the basest of pleasures readily available.
I mean it's kind of why how ex-incels can get love and support but end up still being misogynistic and also dumping their girlfriend for a better looking one when they have more leverage; technically, he's in a better place and probably less likely to be a school shooter, but a sacrifice was definitely made there and…turns out most are beyond repair.
IDK how to help things as I know many of the issues are worsened as massive amounts of what makes unhappy and angry low-status men is what men insist on valuing and find cool with or without society's interference. Envy and revenge over it has always been around through history. Religion popped up as a means to suppress it.
I do expect things to just get worse.
Fridge and wall shape bodies are actually really prevalent among women irl, but they still manage to get boyfriends and husbands and such. I remember a gigastacy at school who was skinny but literally had no waist and her shoulders were wider than her hips. The hourglass figure is really rare naturally irl, if you look around a lot of women have no waists tbh.
>>68646>If it was just society then there'd be more female school shooters and etc.
Oh, definitely, it is not just
society, since it's in men's nature to be more physically violent and that's an undeniable fact. And so on, and so on.>turns out most are beyond repair.
That's true as well. I don't believe most incels can "recover". I just think that a change in society could help prevent more from being created (not revert the damage that's already done), but alas, that's not gonna happen soon.
Sometimes I think I hate men then I realize I’ve just spent too much time on 4chan.
Recently I’ve been pushing myself to socialize more and started an EMT training course. Most of guys on my course are really sweet dudes, and many are surprisingly handsome/cute too. I think in general men who are drawn to jobs that involve helping other people or animals (whether its paramedics, firefighters, even lifeguards or vets or animal welfare officers or whatever lol) will generally be a bit nicer and kinder than average young dudes who are mostly extremely selfish and self absorbed. I had extreme trust issues with men for the longest time due to being abused as a kid by my dad and lurking online male spaces for years. Talking to normalfag moids who arent hostile towards women, and actually look you in the eye when talking and listen to what you say and are generally respectful and polite and positive and treat you like an equal has been very healing for me.
There have been female shooter tho, like this schizo iranian lady who shot up youtube headquarters. Yet, I think that their profiles tend to be different. Contrary to scrote shooters that are extremely self centered, this woman was proactive animal rights activist. I think she didn't shot up youtube because she felt personally wronged, but because she felt that the causes she fought for were censored by youtube algorithm. It was obviously a very schizo move, and I won't condone it, but I feel that the reasons behind her shooting were different from your usual moid shooter, and more "selfless", so to speak.>>68649
Good luck anon ! I hope you will make male friends this way, they can be really fun to hang around. It's a bit of a different kind of friendship from females, but enjoyable nonetheless. I'm trying to distance myself from Telegram moids personnally.
amerifags pls tell me, when u turned 21 did you have a mild alcoholism phase? should i be worried? usually i'm very tame with my drinking but i live with my parents and got really upset over a traumatic event then just got sloshed alone in my room last night and i feel kind of guilty.
tbh unfortunately what makes me scared of men is what I've witnessed normies say and do. the stuff that makes you realize it's not just creeps on the internet.
While certain opinions are more widespread around here, people with opposite opinions can still post here. It's not like they can get banned for doing so. Maybe they're trying to convert the not so femcel/radfem-ish women.
ye I know it's just stuff like convert
being used here–which makes it seem way creepier and coordinated.
Drinking alone because you're sad, upset or something can happens. It's okay. It doesn't means you're an alcoholic. You souldn't use alcohol that way and you should be careful, but drinking alone or driking because you're sad one time is no reason to feel guilty
>zero sex drive for men my age
>live a relatively happy life of chastity
>suddenly get this weird desire to just make out with ugly nerd guys so i can ruin their life + remember what it feels like to touch someone
what the fuck is this
hm, maybe something bipolar-y?
I feel like my friend is only messaging me out of obligation and I'm too scared to ask, although at one point I will. If that's the case then I only have one friend besides her.
I was escaping neetdom because I was lonely and it pained me beyond all belief. I was gonna find IRL friends but covid fucked me over and gave me government mandated neetdom. It's ending in a few days though. I WILL find friends and build myself an actual life
I wish no one knew me and I had no family so I could just kill myself. I want out.
I've been sleeping a lot again (15 hours a day) and I feel the same. Like I don't even feel human when I'm awake, more like some ethereal ghost just floating through life. It helps that no one actually talks to me, and my only social interaction is through online text.
10 year relationship. engaged. he came out to me as gay last thursday.
last night he stayed over with his new boyfriend
incredibly selfish, he should have accepted that the TEN YEARS were more important than his transient cock lust smh i hate gay men sometimes
I thought you were going to say he should have accepted being gay 10 years ago instead of selfishly using another person to pretend to be straight.
he made his bed he can sleep in it
tbh you should cut him off and ghost him. fucked up dude.
but take from him first, 10 years wasted need recoup
>>68714>10 years to come out as a faggot but decides not to
I'd ruin his life tbh. Make sure to out him.
if it's really true, then he would be unphased if you break up with him, so there really isn't anything you can do except move on
btw did he propose the engagement or did you?
If he has a boyfriend right after leaving you, he was definitely cheating. OUT HIM. Not only as gay, but as a cheater.
Also check yourself for STDs. Gays are fitlhy, I'm not even a homophobe, but imagine all the filth of a moid but double.
Don't gay men usually take better care of themselves?
my boyfriend is getting frustrated with my suddenly dead libido. I'm not sure what to do but the more he pushes, the more I dry up. I keep telling him to just back off but he doesn't want to.
So it's this big cycle of him chasing and me running and we're both pissed off about it. Man I just wanna watch tv and cuddle. I'm so tired of sexual shit. I'm not asexual, I can get off with him and alone. Just… Tired of the expectation, I guess. Fug
Unless you consider extreme sexual promiscuity and sharing of pathogens "taking care of yourself" then no.
this is unironically my worst nightmare, that or him trooning out. godspeed sis
My gay cousin sure doesn't. He is a gay incel, if even possible.
I'm reaching the levels of no bf that shouldn't even be possible. Today I dreamt I held FilthyFrank's hand. He looked exactly like in his rant videos from six years ago, except in my dream I saw his birth date and he was born in the year 2000. That means I made out with the 15 year old version of him and therefore commited a federal crime
I used to have a slight crush on Filthy Frank too lol. I don’t have one on him now because his humor was a big part of what drew me to him. I also had a dream last night that I was with the Youtuber Kurtis Conner (I don’t even like him that much) but we were exploring an abandoned building together and I started developing a crush on him in the dream lol.
highly terminally online issue but:
>like playing femboys in online video games (think ffxiv)
>some people think i'm an ftm (?)
>others think i'm a trans woman (?)
>people into femboys think i'm trying to trick them, because i'm female irl
>straight men get pissy that i'm not playing a girl, despite being a girl, but rather a cute boy
>one gay guy i thought i could be friends with got disillusioned with me for not being a guy irl, and now doesn't speak to me as much
this is such a dumb problem i know but i'm starting to get irritated. why is it even such a big deal, kek.
Lmao this is so stupid but I feel bad for you anon.
yeah. i can't even whine that much though because i dug this hole myself
2nding other anon's lmao, like, wtf.
I hope it's at least entertaining. it's really fuckin weird how people react to people that remotely don't fit into social norms.
i hate waking up and seeing everyone everyday. i hate having to look at other people now because it just feels so embarrassing?? like the fact that i exist has been so uncomfortable recently. i just want to disappear tbh. everyday is just the same shit. everytime i try to talk to someone on a deeper level its always just “yeah (insert another dumbass topic and ignores me)” or some other bullshit. i never feel like im talking to anyone, im only responding. i feel so alone. its sad when i have more meaningful experiences with people in my dreams
gamers aren't capable of thinking beyond stimuli that gets them high on serotonine
similarly it's really tiring being assumed to being trans when you're in an industry/hobbies that are male dominated. it didn't used to be this way either. people would always be surprised but it's only within the last 5ish years that this is the case
I wanna fuck my ex
All 5 of them
I just realized I've only truly been attached to two people in my life. I stopped feeling it with one of them, and the other one won't talk to me anymore.
I'm not like a sociopath or anything, I'm usually pretty polite and I care about other people not suffering. I don't like hurting people, it makes me feel bad.
I just don't enjoy talking to people. It just isn't fun. It just isn't fulfilling. I don't feel scared to talk to people, it's just… It doesn't feel like anything.
Sometimes I feel profoundly lonely and it feels worse knowing that I can't relieve it because I don't have anyone that I feel connected to. But I've been feeling less lonely lately as well.
I just miss when I had that person who I felt connected to in my life. I miss feeling like the world was lit up with vibrancy and joy and possibilities. I miss when I felt like I was my whole self.
Now it feels like everything is so dull and monochrome and boring all the time.
I just derived enjoyment/pleasure from listening to a stranger eat a sandwich 4 feet away from me. Yesterday I felt intimacy with a stranger who was facing me while sitting at a different table in the food court.
Man I'm lonely.
thats a familiar feel. theres a guy that works at the local walmart i shop at. hes short,bald, fat, mid 40s, not even a manager. never heard him say a word. never even seen him smile. he reminds me of the twigs and branches that get washed up next to the storm drains in my city. just debris, waste, somehow maintaining a presence in a society that has done everything to push him out. i hope we go somewhere better when we die. god damn this earth
i do think this sucks but if it were the reversed (a woman leaving a man because she finally found the confidence to come out as a lesbian) everyone would be yass kween-ing
And I know I wouldn't yas kween nor would many here do so. It's an annoying situation.
there's comphet for a while until you can move out of an abusive household/gain confidence to come out and there's stringing along someone for 10 years.
It's bc vidya is so shittily oversaturated with men anyways, that they don't see the hypocrisy in RPing yuri for them to jack off to but not women wanting to play the kind of boys they want to fuck instead too. M*le ego-centrism.
I've also roleplayed male doms and "reverse trapped" gays into thinking I'm male IRL and I feel bad that they take it so poorly when I'm truthful with them. Apparently I typefuck better than some of the actual m*les for them, but their IRL vagina aversion makes them skittish exactly like you said.
I don't really get it, I feel like men being gay is so hard-coded as a "THIS IS THE ONLY THING I'LL EVER LIKE" thing when the reality is sexuality is fluid.
I'm the OP of that post. And yeah, I think I'm done with that. I don't care about it anymore, and I might not even have found him attractive (besides his body).
I almost wish I had a rebound, though. Like, I want someone new, but no one's really interesting. In fact, I'm pretty sure he
couldn't even satisfy me if he came back. He even admitted found it hard to keep up with me lmao.
It was nice feeling that way about someone, and now everything is so bland, I'm scared I'll never get it back.
In fact, maybe that's why I was so hung up on him. I don't think he could bring back those feelings. If he came back, it'd just be the initial excitement of "omg he's returned", and then what? I'm not mourning the "relationship" with him, if you can even call it that. I'm mourning that energy, and I'm worried that it won't come back. I just want to be excited again, find someone I find attractive and
want to pick the brain of.
I kind of want to make a playlist about these feelings, but I don't want to make it a big deal in my life anymore. I've already wasted months on feeling about this and it's all just so stupid. I'm typing this much for catharsis, and I hope I get it from posting this
Ngl anon, you sound a bit rapey. Roleplaying for fun on the internet is ok and I think you have to be a sheltered kid to be very affected by it but sexuality is not ~fluid~ for many people.
2nding it sounding kind of rapey. I'd feel creeped out if I were a lesbian and was roleplaying with one online and then found out it were a guy I'd feel violated.
It sounds like she baits and switches them, and thinks being truthful eventually absolves her of her misrepresenting herself. Not to say she didn't run into very entitled ones, she probably did.
this is gonna be pathetic but I wish I had light green or blue eyes. My skin, hair, and eyes are the same color (bronze). I'd be significantly better looking to most people if I had that little bit of contrast. I remember photoshopping me to have light blue eyes and I was rated 3 points higher on photofeeler FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
Blue eyes are overrated, I have them, but they are more grey and dull and kind of wash out my face. My brother got brown eyes and he has more of an intense look because of it.
I agree, but it depends on the limbal ring darkness and the color + contrast against the skin. my darker eyes ironically wash me out more as they look the same as my skin and hair.
Disagree, I have blue eyes with a dark lymbal ring and they’re my favorite feature. I’ve gotten compliments from strangers asking if I’m wearing contacts.
tbh it still stings a bit that I was consistently rated a few points higher because of editing such eyes into my pictures. suddenly people thought I looked amazing and goddess-like.
people might say it's overrated. maybe? but tell that to society.
oh, to clarify I do prefer very dark eyes with intense limbal rings. mine are just super muddy tbh.
Aaaahh… I hate these fucking hormones making me feel attached to some stranger on an anonymous imageboard with whom I had a brief interaction with.
I'm so fucking lonely and frustrated.>>68880>My brother got brown eyes and he has more of an intense look because of it.
this is true.
t. dark-colored eyes haver
I agree it has more to do with contrast than the color. I have very pale skin and dark eyes, I've tried filters that make them light blue or green and it washes me out, they just blend into my face.
But maybe you can fix that with makeup? Or try changing your hair color so you get a bit more contrast there.
No matter what happens to me, my dad finds a way to destroy anything that makes me happy. I’m so tired, nothing in my life ever works out because of him all he does is make me suffer.
I posted my voice on Reddit once, and some guy DMed me asking if I'd make recordings about BBC. I'm literally black.
Not even the first time this has happened. The last time, it was on 4chan in a Vocaroo thread, some guy asked me to say raceplay things and call him slurs. I always just ignore or reject it, but it sticks in my mind every time
It's pretty funny whenever this happens, but also jarring. Not my fault I have a certain kind of voice
>watch ”Da Five Bloods” on Netflix
>expect an average action movie with some cringey woke stuff sprinkled on top
>suddenly, without a warning, they slap a real life, color picture of a gored toddler full-screen
Absolutely disgusting. It’s been months and it still gives me the chills.
It’s like browsing the internet (back in the days) and clicking the wrong link. What the hell Netflix?
Sure, the scene was about hammering the horrors of the Vietnam war into their skulls, but nobody needs to see gore porn to get that, especially in the midst of a slice-of-life movie about some boomers doing stuff. Fuck you.
Well, it got you to think about it more deeply.
ive had gi issues for the past 4 years, undiagnosed. I just wish i could enjoy food again. i already feel guilty for eating but now it’s physically painful too
Yeah, it got me to think how some irresponsible parents decided to have a baby in the middle of a war.
>On the upcoming November 21st episode of The Simpsons, Smithers is said to be getting his first-ever public boyfriend, a billionaire voiced by Victor Garber.
even smithers found a man before me
very simple. Just do no-gi instead of gi. You get better grappling practice as you can't use their clothes against them
You should start your own youtube channel where you hit the streets and do your own journalism!
Hopefully you can build an audience and then get picked up by one of the indie news outfits.
Last night I got stoned with a group of acquaintances that I've previously had a chill time with, but this was anything BUT that.
Started out okay, but as it progressed I just got more and more quiet, because at some point this feeling of horrifying self-awareness hit me like a fucking truck (and I mean I felt my fucking heart sink and my legs get cut off). I could see so clearly how my every single interaction there was off and autistic - the tone of my voice, the way I pronounce words, my over-exaggerated movements, my facial expression, my ugly ass laugh, my weird reactions… Jesus Christ, I sound like an actual retarded child, and I could see that others see it too. Even when I know the tone of my voice is absolutely wrong and what I'm saying makes no sense, I can't control it. To everyone else I look stunted and extremely social unaware, even as I'm freaking out over it in my head and know perfectly well it's all wrong. This is what people see when they talk to me.
When I came home, I recorded myself from a few different angles and contemplated it for two more hours, and HOLY SHIT I'm so fucking ugly. I mean, I was aware of this fact, but this sort of perspective is a whole other level. Dark circles, ugly teeth, crooked nose, asymmetrical eyes, underweight (maybe that's where the brain damage's from?), shitty haircut. Once again, this is what people see when they talk to me. This is why I have no friends, why no one bothers to contact me, why I'm never invited anywhere, why I'm so far behind socially, why people treat me like I'm retarded, why no one's ever told me I'm pretty unless it's out of forced pity. Couldn't sleep either, my mind just kept racing and repeating the scenes from the hangout over and over again.
Tell me it's just the weed, please.
Hey, it’s just the weed, trust me. I’ve been there before; sometimes you can just have a bad reaction and get anxious about the way you’re perceived and it spirals from there. Also everyone looks weird and wacky when you’re high, I promise no one is looking at you in disgust and thinking wow this person is a total sperg; these people clearly want you around!
Think about it for a while when sober and be honest with yourself
might have been the weed or you being hypercritical of yourself (plus it's natural, even ok looking people look gruesome to themselves when they get a different view of themselves)
but as someone who does have all of those flaws (as well as missing teeth) alongside a jaw deformity that caused the severe asymmetry, tbh the best thing I did for myself was just getting more comfortable around people.
The best thought I had was "well, do I want to be around people anal about the way I look? Who would cringe at a little odd-looking girl? No." I reminded myself of it over and over again. I also reminded myself of all the amazing things and virtues I look up to in other people–and tbh, none involve looking hot.
its just the weed anon
stop smoking weed, or just do it less.
you are in control over what you project yourself as to other people, so be the version of you you want to be
I really feel torn about dating my boyfriend. I love him so much and I know he loves me too, but I am incredibly damaged from trauma and incredibly sensitive and he lacks tact. I can't just stop talking to him even though I have told him I am going to before, but I find it impossible because I have really bad attachment issues. He frequently hurts my feelings and I really do try to express to him calmly and he either doesn't understand or attributes whatever problem I have to something I have actually wrong with me (insecure, ptsd related trust issues, autism, etc.). I don't know what to do and the entire thing makes me break down sometimes because I feel like I am shouting into a void when trying to explain how I feel to him. It's really difficult to express myself in general. I don't understand what he doesn't understand about how I feel. idk I have a lot of problems. I am going to be spending time with him and his family over Christmas and I am just nervous because last time we saw each other around his family (we are ldr), he said something so rude to me I pretended to go to the bathroom and I just left the restaurant we were at.
I'm sorry anon, but people like that don't change and…you should maybe reframe it as this:
you are fundamentally incompatible with him, and the incompatibility is causing you pain and damage. moreover he sounds like a callous jerk (which you might deny but to most people, he, for all intents and purposes, probably is).
he cannot, nor ever, will be your partner.
I get the feeling you might not really break up with him at all. But in all stories like this one, it's only going to get worse and worse, his minor abuses will cause a cycle of despair yet need for validation and reaffirmation from him.
and btw, I know you might say you might not be perfect or have a lot of issues, but, quite frankly, you sound like you are self-aware and literally need a helping hand to guide you–not one that condemns attempts to express yourself and sees them with contempt and dismissal.
it is a two way street, one to him is just annoyance and fog, because he doesn't know, nor see you.
lol, incel bait, but wow, I was "matched" to the ugliest, least appealing guy guy I had ever seen. maybe if you were into masculine thug types (he had a very strong, defined jaw and hunter eyes, also very tall…though he also looked a tiny bit caveman-like) he would be handsome. for scope I have found a chubby guy half a foot shorter than me 10x cuter than him (and I crushed on that short guy) because he had a less rough face.
it made me feel kind of bad about myself even though it shouldn't. I don't like being so shallow. maybe I deserved to be torn down a peg though.
one of my closes friends was "in love" w me a couple of years back cause he thinks i am manic pixie dream girl. every interaction i have with him now is smeared by this. i am actually maybe a little bit irrationally angry about this as he also admits i have never done anything to perpetuate these kinds of feelings after he said some uncomfortable things to me over the weekend. i dont even date full stop (period for the americans) i want to punch this retardation out of him. it makes me feel sick to know he looks at me sexually physically sick i fuckin tell ya. its been 6 years since he first told me this. why are we still here. i wish i could just scream at him get it over it will NEVER happen but he is my friend and i would never intentionally hurt his feelings which is shit because i feel like i can never truly express my strictly platonic feelings for him. sorry for sperg i have no close friends and he is probably the closest so it is troubling me somewhat
Now you have me scared my (male) friend who I fell in love with over a year ago feels like this.
Speaking from that perspective, your friend likely had no ill intentions anon. Cut him off if it still bothers you, since if you're close he likely feels bad if you feel bad. Sucks to harm a loved one just because you accidentally fell in love, which can't be helped.
Also after being rejected 6 years ago he's probably moved on. Unless you see signs he hasn't? In which case, again, cut the man off.
oh, it was in a thread where pictures were posted. it was some random. pretty much everyone else, including the very chubby girl, got less thuggish guys.
sigh. I can't tell if I'm just selfish or what, but my mom has been driving me crazy with guilt trips.
This morning we were prepping to go out. She usually takes an hour. I ended up going back to my room to prepare. When I went back out after 30 minutes, dressed, she is still sitting on the couch - she hadn't even gotten up to change - and immediately says "here I am SILENTLY CRYING BECAUSE YOU AREN'T HELPING!! I HAVE BEEN WAITING! THERE IS SO MUCH TO DO BEFORE WE LEAVE!" she hadn't even told me so beforehand!
She has repeated the "silently crying" line 100s of times in the past months.
I'm sorry but…I ended up snapping and for the first time in my life letting slip a cuss word to her "I'm so done with this shit, please goddamned stop." She has said 100xs of more cuss words to me through my entire life. Called me names and stuff. I don't know if I deserve it or something, but it was the breaking point for me.
It turned out the thing she was upset over(she didn't mention it needing to be done before BTW) was something that we got done in 3 minutes. :| And it was something…she could have done herself…in the same amount of time…
Then she FINALLY went and got ready, which took an hour. Yes…it was something irrelevant to that small task.
Then when we went out…while we were at the store she suddenly remembered she forgot 3 other things she never told me about and started getting upset and blaming me, which, well, made me upset.
So. Yes. She actually spent apparently half an hour sitting there in silence getting frustrated with me instead of remembering.
like I don't know if I'm just not attentive enough or if the issue is that she feels overwhelmed all the time.
for the longest time I felt so horrible but…honestly, and I hate this, and I worry that I'm just changing for the worst because of her. the first times in my life I have actually expressed frustration with her have been these past few months.
she hasn't had the best life so I don't want to hold anything against her. but I'm just so done.
anyway sorry if my stories is incomprenhenisble. I'm just not very happy right now.
I still miss him. I tried talking to him again last weekend but he didn't reply so I blocked him.
So I guess that's it. I really wish I could just disappear right now.
This is really dumb but I'm putting this here to get it out.
5 years ago, I had a huge crush on the TA in a class. I'm pretty sure the feeling was mutual. I'd catch him turning around to stare at me during the regular lecture class – which was a big lecture hall with probably 200+ students. (I was 22 and he was 27, so it really wasn't creepy aside from the fact he was my TA.) I've been with several people, but I never really stopped having a crush on him, even though I knew nothing would happen. He doesn't even live in this town anymore. I've developed this whole "forbidden love that never had the chance to come to fruition" thing that's made me sad when I think about it. I guess a little part of me has kept myself emotionally unavailable in case of the very, very small chance we'd ever talk again (which is dumb). I actually saw him a few months before covid around a group of people, and we made eye contact, but we didn't speak.
I creep on his letterboxd from time to time, and I saw him mention his partner. Then, of course, my dumb ass logs into my burner facebook to creep. His girlfriend is fucking gorgeous. It never would have worked anyway because it seems like we'd have nothing in common aside from trivial interests. I don't even creep on him very often, but now, I don't think I ever want to anymore.
I'm glad this happened because now I can really focus on my relationship with my actual boyfriend. And I'm on track to advance in my job very soon. Now I can proceed with my life without distractions and without having this relationship that never existed in the back of my mind.
I mean, I do feel a little sad, but I know it's a very temporary feeling of sadness. Like a sadness that goes along with letting go before your life changes for the better.
I'm so tired and sad.
I'm 22 and had a child when I was 19 with a 33 year old. Why didn't I listen to everyone's warnings? My life is ruined. He broke up with me one month ago and I moved back into my mom's house and he hasn't even contacted me/our son this entire time.
I still have tons of stuff over at our apartment but I'm too scared to get anything. I HATE him so much. I'm 22 now and I guess I'm a single mom? I feel so pathetic. All I wanted was a bf. All I wanted was for him to like me. He can just break up with me and kick me out and go back to being a regular single adult. I'm stuck with a child lol and he can just pretend we don't exist?? Not to mention I now have saggy boobas and stretch marks so I'm disgusting.
I never had a bf or any friends until meeting him and then I got pregnant 6 months after starting to date him. As much as I want to blame him because he's 13 years older than me and met me a few months after high school, I have myself to blame as well. I'm so DUMB. I want to kill myself so bad. I don't like being a mom. I always thought I had autism and lol guess what, my child's doctor thinks my child has autism.
I almost always feel nothing. The times I do feel emotion it's anger/hate. It's like there's this "brain fog" and I can barely even think about anything. My memory has gone to shit too. I want to apply for community college but after reading some paragraphs of stuff I can barely recall what I read. Wtf happened to me???
Anyways, shit sucks. I guess I need to apply for work now because even my mom is getting tired of me. btw, please respond, even if you have nothing to say, i'm just so lonely