Just ghosted all my internet "friends" (if you can even call them that, only talked to one on a regular basis) just to see if I'd feel bad, feel something besides crippling anxiety. I still feel nothing.
Only one I didn't ghost is some guy who I think killed himself last night.
my mid 20s will be better than my early 20s. depression is treatable and i will wake up one day not wanting to kill myself, i’m speaking it into existence
I want to kill myself, people are too fucking mean. I don't understand why they have to be like that. No one is going to love me ever, ever, because I was marked as an outcast
Holy shit I want to fall in love with someone so badly but I can't. I feel emotionally stunted, I'm already over 25 and have never dated anyone because I feel like no one is ever good enough. Chances are if I do find someone they won't love me back, and if they do I will ruin everything because I have no experience. I fucking hate my life, I will be alone forever. I hate not being one of those foids who can look past physical appearance, or one of those vapid thots that don't care if they're a drooling retard as long as they're hot. How the fuck do I lower my standards?
Moid post. This is disgusting.
No, I'm just a dyke and like to mock trannies plus I'm not in my shitposting machine so I didn't have a better pic to post.
Oh it was unclear. I feel the same way but about men. But I feel like its just turning the tables, in response to what they do to us. You shouldn't hate yourself though you should just enjoy your life and have zero expectations. When you stop trying and relax is when things start falling into place. I really don't want relationships with moids though.. So sorry if this is unhelpful. You probably don't want to hear about it.
I'm 26 and never had a BF, I'm not even ugly (I think) and I have good hygiene and shit, I just don't give a fuck about people, why I should get some asshole that will probably cheat on me or make my life worse? pretty much everyone who is married is unhappy and stressed all the time, I don't want that, why the fuck would people marry to live that kind of life? It makes no sense, love doesn't last, I think that was scientifically proven some time ago.
I don't feel lonely,just a bit alienated,I just want to play videogames and watch crappy anime all day damn, fuck this, fuck society and its rules.
You nailed exactly how I feel. It looks like so much work. And I remember being in high school. All the BS girls put up with around guys, and how low their self-esteem was, how much the guys enjoyed their lives vs how much drama and horse shit the girls lived with.. and it was just .. WOW what is the fucking point? I don't want to live like that. I swear to god I will never live like that. I'm pretty normal too but wow I don't give a fuck, and I don't understand how IM supposed to feel inferior for not following the shit heteronormative lifestyle!? Pfffbahaha Just leave me out of it thanks. 😳
Trying to make new friends has been really difficult. I'm a NEET so it's hard to meet people in real life, especially in my small town.
Online, it's still hard to find people who are similar, and I keep getting people who want to be weird or sexual once they find out I'm a girl. I'm really scared of getting manipulated or harassed since I don't have anyone to back me up and I don't have a lot of social experience, so talking to anyone in a non-anon setting feels dangerous, but I'm also so lonely.
I miss my old best friend so much… I just wanna go back and be comfy together again and laugh and feel safe
dont even know where to begin. im tired of it all. endless cycles ive experienced for the past decade. i want to be free. maybe now i can take the right steps to be. hope you all can make the right steps to make you feel secure and happy as well. i hope i can too. maybe one day. all i need is a little more time.
I wish I was still a NEET, those were the happiest days of my life, just playing vidya and coding and other shit without having a boss trying to make my life as miserable as possible.
But it's true that after a while it feels weird, like everyone else is moving on with their lives while you're perpetually stuck, now that I have a job I still fill unfulfilled but I'm "advancing" somehow, after all being an office drone is what makes life worth living for a lot of people, and also the pressure to get married as I kinda said here >>66088
After your teens/early 20's are over there's no way to win IMO, it's all just a fucking rigged game you're forced to play against your will.
Not if you don't have children, or get married. I'm 35 and so fucking glad everyday I didn't succumb to that hell.
I think I'm gonna follow that route too, it's amazing how sad most couples are after a few months of marriage + kids, like it's self-imposed torture that literally drains your life away and you become an empty shell.
I just wish I could get rid of all my mental problems too.
Honestly life can be cake. I've noticed the same thing a lot. I am determined not to live that way. I like solitude a lot. I keep it simple, working on art and in a hotel for income. I don't think you should lie to yourself or try something that requires a lot of solitude if you don't like it as much, but its a really great option if you prize it. Life doesn't have to be bullshit like that. It can be pretty exciting and a smooth ride, where.. who knows what the hell will happen, where you'll go? I'm constantly surprised. Things get better and as long as you keep your priorities straight.
I want to die. My dreams are too far to achieve. I have accepted this. And I don't know how to deal with it. Every day is just suffering, why euthanasia isn't a thing?
What are your dreams? Want to talk about it?
I do want to talk about it but talking gets me nowhere I feel. My dreams were going abroad, living with my lover, having a family, publishing my stories… They feel so far away. I'm a stupid neet with no future. I honestly cannot find a reason to live. But I also don't want to suffer anymore and every way to go out seems so painful/chance of survival with disability.
You could start by doing baby steps, like for example the publishing thing, you can self publish these days for very cheap on Amazon and reach an audience willing to read what you write, or if you don't feel confident enough you could try writing a blog and publish later when you have more confidence, every little step counts.
Don't give up just yet!
>>66082>How the fuck do I lower my standards?
well you recognizing the problem is step one. maybe try to reason with it a bit more mentally.the fact of the matter is only total divas are able to get "ideal wo/men" (perfect in appearance and mind) everyone else just has to reason with the sludge.
i should've killed myself back then when i actually had the energy, lots of motivation and nothing to lose, as now i'm plagued by the thought that i am already dead and just living in this sickly boring dreamworld just rotting alive
He's talking to some girl that lives in the state as him…should have seen that coming.
Guess we won't meet up, I'm tired I'm really tired.
how do i stop feeling so empty and worthless? i have friends but i feel like they don’t want me around and ignore me, i’m much too socially inept and anxiety-ridden to try and make new ones. relationships are out of the question, i haven’t had one my entire life and i’m not gonna start now. i want to be able to feel fulfilled on my own but i don’t know where to start.
>>66147>i haven’t had one my entire life and i’m not gonna start now. i want to be able to feel fulfilled on my own but i don’t know where to start.
Do you have anything you pour yourself into to do your absolute best in? Not to enjoy, though you may enjoy the process, but something you do because you find it intrinsically meaningful?
i’d say drawing, but i’m an amateur. i never really learned all the fundamentals and i feel like that’s stunted my improvement. i should be focusing on it though.
Keep doing it, even if you're an amateur, do it because you like it, not because you want to be the best artist ever, you will keep improving over time, that's how things work.
I don't consider myself intelligent at all, but I enjoy coding, I think I suck at it and my code is usually garbage but I keep trying because I like it, feels like playing with Legos and building things and I enjoy the feeling.
There's plenty of hope, plenty of people stop being fucking retarded putting themselves in boxes before they're actually adults. It just means you realized you were a braindead teenage retard.
>>66149>i’d say drawing, but i’m an amateur.
Not relevant, do you find it meaningful or do you do it for fun?>i should be focusing on it though.
Why "should" you be focusing on it? Because it's the abstract "right" thing to do or because you actually find it meaningful?
>>66154>do you find it meaningful or do you do it for fun?
both? i mean, there are aspects i don’t enjoy. but it’s nice to draw what i want to.>Why "should" you be focusing on it?
it’s meaningful enough to me that i want to do it for the rest of my life. but i’m worrying that i’m wasting time and won’t be skilled enough to create the things i want to.>>66151
yeah you’re right. though i’m scared of boxing myself in and only improving in one area because i only treat it like something fun instead of forcing myself to do the basics.
I'm so tired of being surrouneded by the conversation about looks on this board. Mental manipulation is the absolute fucking worst, its worse than anything to do with your looks.
I had to do do years of therapy to get any sense of myself back. I developed such a potent fucking aversion to things that feel like manipulation (anything to do with relationships and social engineering). Love is such trash to me. It is such hot garbage to spend most of your life as a woman with a diminished mind that's just a shell of itself compared to a guy's because you THINK you're awful (society tells you to think poorly of yourself from day one).
It is so sick to me the way most women walk around like simple minded self-loathing machines and then tear each other apart from insecurity. Its the REAL reason their existence is horrible. And the reason they run around like that is because they believe and live like their worthless.
I used to have such god awful mental ruin. I wish I couldn't see anything that goes on. I became the extreme opposite of whats expected one day, I shut out absolutely everything "healthy relationships-related" to return to a good version of myself in solitude and it was the best thing I ever did. My mind became so crystal clear. I want nothing whatsoever to do with relationships or family. I mean I see the way people live, and even the ones that look normal from the outside, look like they put up with too much crap. Its just rotten to me the way most women behave like morons for love. Its fucking sick.
I always feel like I'm stuffed in a jar with idiots, and I'm completely aware of everything. It doesn't matter how you look if you have to massively diminish yourself into a smiling shell for points. Its like living for scraps. For MOST people love is unrewarding and a rigged game that screws women mentally down the line at SOME point. If men are really screwed then why are they EVERYWHERE willing to do anything for sex and then say fuck off? with all the benefits of not having to experience being a woman?
Please just make the busyness stop already
This is why people start doing crack.
My boyfriend is mad at me because the house is a wreck and I don’t blame him, his work is overtaxing him too and he worked 50-60 hours this week because they have no staff.
Meanwhile my parents just up and moved all of a sudden and had to gut their house and get rid of all their stuff and I took a bunch of it because “muh sentimental value” and now I have to sort through what’s actually worth keeping.
To further that they did give us an extremely heavy couch that we have to get up the stairs and I don’t know how we’re going to do it when he’s so exhausted from work and I’m so exhausted from loading and unloading all my parents things helping them move
Meanwhile I’m totally behind on bills, luckily I have a lot of coNtracts this month, unluckily I have no time to do them!! I’m so broke and I can’t work because of all this house shit and it’s so frustrating!
To top it all of my bffs birthday is coming up and I wanted to do something special but I can’t seem to rub two brain cells together to figure it out
And I’m so depressed because before all this I was being so productive and creative on my personal things and now I have nothing but endless responsibilities and mess
And diarrhea from all the caffeine I’ve been drinking
I know I’m being immature, I’m having a hard time keeping up to grow up. It feels grating
What manga is this from?
Also I’m sorry for how you feel. I’ve noticed a lot of people (me included) who are older than 21 just feel like their lives are over and the world isn’t constructed for them, especially after 25
I'm scared that my bestie is talking with his abuser again, and it's making me depressed as hell. I told him before that it was okay if he went back but now I genuinely feel sick. He's been avoiding doing fun things with me and it's going to upset me a lot if it's actually because he's back with her again.
I need other people in my life, I can't take this shit much more. It hurts too bad. I overthink too much, just dumb me down already. I don't want to feel sad anymore.
>>66156>it’s meaningful enough to me that i want to do it for the rest of my life. but i’m worrying that i’m wasting time and won’t be skilled enough to create the things i want to.
Well if you're worried about wasting time, how would you know if you are wasting time? What evidence would you need to believe you weren't wasting time? How much would you need to work on a given day to believe you weren't wasting time? "I don't know" is an acceptable answer.
I'd recommend breaking down processing the garbage into the smallest amount you can consistently do each day until it is dealt with. I don't know if it's in boxes, but it might be best to just say "I will sort this box and only this box today" and just do that until the problem is solved.>but muh energy
I know you have no energy, that's why you break it down small enough you don't even have to think of doing
the action, you just do it.
>To further that they did give us an extremely heavy couch that we have to get up the stairs
You could see if anyone is selling help for just helping lift things. Another option is friends if you or your partner have any. If neither of those work, you just need to both agree on a do or die date, and when that date comes, do it.
>Meanwhile I’m totally behind on bills, luckily I have a lot of coNtracts this month, unluckily I have no time to do them!! I’m so broke and I can’t work because of all this house shit and it’s so frustrating!
I'm surprised that your husband is working 50-60 hour weeks AND you are making some money and still unable to pay bills to be honest.
>have social anxiety
>be a shut in
>quietly progress through university
>forget what I learned after a class finishes because I'm stupid
>about to graduate in three months
>realize I've made no connections
>haven't worked a job in six years so no names to put on my resume
>realize to get a job in the business world you actually have to know what you're doing
>panic and start relearning old concepts
>realize how much of a pain it is going to be looking for a job with no experience in my field at 26 years old
>need to find a job right after university because my family's insurance runs out soon after and I have expensive medications I can't pay for otherwise
I am fragile. There is so much work and socializing to be done in the coming months it is making me queasy. I just want to sleep all day. I must become strong.
Update, I don't think my friend is talking to his abuser but he isn't tell me about it if he is either, and I'm not gonna ask. But he scuttles over to me without prompting and I appreciate it. Not so sad!
I'm attracted to a Tiktoker (already cringe) who makes fucking science infodump videos.
I s2g. He placed his phone in his lap for a second in one vid and I lost my mind. Out of control.
I almost feel bad since he isn't cultivating that sort of persona, but his uninhibited enthusiasm and something about the engineering nerd energy makes me feel lonelier than usual. Probably because I fucked up my chance to date a science nerd back in 2020. I felt I had little to offer since I'm not in STEM.
Inb4 I get called a fatty.
I really liked Squid Game but I wish the female leads weren't so drastically underweight (unlike the male leads ofc). I checked out Alice in Borderland (Japanese show with similar premise) and so far the female characters are at a healthy weight, which was just nice to see as someone who used to have an ED.
I hate going to job interviews. I hate pretending to give a fuck. I hate being a wagie slave.
i chose a degree in journalism and i'm 2/3rds of the way through the degree now and i'm realising the job market is weak for reporting and news gathering and everyone in the field are on average 40 year old men and creeps.
I am 25 years old, last worked in a factory packing aluminium 4 years ago and im not sure if ill ever have a house or a stable income. Im hiding in the bathroom and i am mortified of my life choices. I do not ever want to go back to the factorys despite the good pay.
I want love and to show love back, but I’m ugly and stupid. Also, intense yet tender lovemaking, since I’m ovulating rn. Really frustrated atm, even the antidepressants don’t null my desires anymore. I want moist kisses and warm embraces and to be told that I’m worth loving, is that so bad? Aaaaa!
Oh, and I’ve been constantly horny for the past few days. It’s insane.
Just noticed I’ve gotten a carpet burn on my tighs, since you know, the juices just keep flowing and I can’t just stay still all day. Great, exactly what I needed.
Heartbreaking to me that people that are objectively a healthy weight are being shamed for it. 80% of women are overweight or obese. It's uncommon to see anyone that is an actually healthy weight, let alone underweight.
In Korea only 30% of the population is overweight.
being underweight is as unhealthy as being underweight. the bmi intervals were not chosen by tossing coins.
Thank you anon!!
God I love Japan for actually making stories about this stuff
>I went out with this guy and usually idk I don’t get asked on dates or if I do I say no because I’m too scared and anxious. But anyways he lived two hours away and he asked so I said yes.
>it went really well and he made it seem like he wanted to see me again. He literally called the date and introduction date to more.
>then nothing no check up message or anything I get it people are busy you know. I messaged saying I wanted to do it again. He answered and said so would he but he’s busy and he doesn’t know when he can make it back but he’ll let me know when he can
>so I don’t respond and I wait two weeks to say something else. I say sorry I was busy but if I could find the time I could always drive to him. Nothing, no answer.
Why couldn’t he just ghost me when I said I wanted to do it again? Wouldn’t that have been a reasonable time to do so or act like an adult and just say that you don’t want to do it again idk.
Does anyone have a good or not text to send? Because I don’t wanna just say or not cause it feels too rude but I wanna say something that is like that but less ya know crazy.
I’m sorry his exact words were
“I’ll let you know as soon as I can” not an if but a like for sure I will
Lmao are you trying to claim the women in Squid Game are at “healthy weights”? They are all visibly very underweight. I’m not asking for fat people to be in film. All the male actors got to be at healthy weights unlike the female leads who were nearly emaciated. Fuck off.
Most Asian actors are forced to be incredibly underweight. I literally see Asian women talk about loving leaving in the us because they get to be at healthy weights without being critiqued.
>People complain at you
>Means you have to listen to their whining because they need someone who'll soak it up without any judging or backlash
>If you reply you don't care or it's not your fault they just start whining more and get angry at you
>Forced to listen to "Waaahhh I'm such a victim and I'm always tired and everyone hates me and don't treat me right waaahhh"
>When you try to complain to them they somehow revert everything back to centering them
Fucking hate people who are used to voice all of their whining and you have to hear them being negative
Meanwhile you keep most of your problems to yourself, only occasionally posting them on the internet
>>66366>Fucking hate people who are used to voice all of their whining and you have to hear them being negative
Then stop listening to them. If you don't care about them, and can't be honest with them, stop associating with them.
How do I stop associating with my mom? Also I do care, but to the extent that i will soak all of her emotions
Move out, don't talk to her until she calms down and realize that you're not her emotional rag. Suffering through her bullshit doesn't make you a good person or a martyr and isn't fair to you. Feel free to keep listening to her, but do so in the greatest amount it doesn't make you resent her enough to write posts about it.
Isn't the show about poor people playing death games in order to win money? Not really surprising that the characters are underweight.
no comment on the tv show but this is my experience in real life and it makes me really uncomfortable.
I'm rather short compared to most people here and it feels like so many people can't seem to empathize and realize that they can't just apply their standards to me. of course I'm going to weigh less and eat less when I physically have fewer cells than you? that shouldn't be weird
Then explain why only the female characters are underweight. Quick.>>66388
lol what a made-up problem. people just approach you on the street asking how you weigh?
>>66390>approach you on the street
No, but a lot of people that I meet will comment on it and say I look weak and such. I just don't like people making comments on my appearance no matter what it is, it makes me feel self-conscious. It's more of an issue with people focusing so much on women's appearances in general and making unsolicited judgments and remarks all the time
I don't go out much but when I have dinner with people they often complain about me not being able to finish meals as if I'm trying to insult them, and accuse me of starving myself. Not sure if that is just a cultural thing
I'M SO IN LOVE WITH MY TEACHER I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DOOOOO
HE HAS KIDS MY AGE AND A LOVELY WIFE
I SPEND ALL DAY DAYDREAMING ABOUT KISSING HIM AND WISHING MEN MY AGE HAD EVEN AN OUNCE OF WHAT THIS MAN HAS
IT'S ALL OVER FOR ME
I DON'T EVEN GET TO TALK TO HIM THAT MUCH IN CLASS
I just don’t understand why you felt the need to reply when the original post was pointing out clearly underweight actresses. And the reason the male actors’ bodies weren’t pointed out was because their bodies were healthy-looking.
to be quite honest I wasn't paying that much attention and I was really tired lol. My bad for being off-topic.
Now that I think about it, I've basically never seen underweight men in media before. I know one guy who's rather underweight and it was a really new experience to see him because I was never exposed to it.
I'm not an expert on the details but from what I hear, the film industry can be super rough and demanding with making actors/actresses modify their bodies. It's disheartening that stuff like "I had to gain/lose 50lb in like 5 weeks for this role!" is seen as a good thing sometimes.
The heck, what does being short have to do with it? You eat less but less food makes you fatter more easily too. Plenty chubby short people.
What's your definition of "underweight"? I assume you don't mean Christian Bale during Machinist tier correct?
I feel like I have to not visit this board for a week to see some new posts
Agreed, also nobody contributes anything new. People stay in the same threads instead of ever creating new ones. People here are boring af, I'm sorry but. Not a shred of a sense of humor or spontaneity. It gets old fast reading about how suicidal these pick-mes are about their looks.. how suicidal they are about their relationships. Im just about ready to give up on this board.
Yeah, it kind of confuses me somewhat that we have a general "vent thread". Seems to defeat the point of a "feels" board if there's a catchall thread for negative feelings. I'm certain nothing states you can't
post outside the vent thread, but, I don't know, this thread feels as stagnant as Katawa Shoujo general. I'm not sure I've seen a "vent" thread on any other imageboard and I'm uncertain why we need one.
I dunno where precisely I'd draw the line for underweight, but the guy I know is like 6ft and he claims 115lb, so I think that's pretty unambiguous. His ribs are not as exaggerated as that pic but it's in the same vein. And no it's not mental illness, he was living in a bad environment.
I feel so horribly depressed to the point of feeling physically ill. I feel light headed and dizzy. I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done wrong, I don’t know what I’m doing. I can’t put into words what I’m feeling. I wish I had some luck. I am a failure. I am failing. I am so sad. I am depressing.
Today was awful, sad, and disappointing. My awful planning, risky choices, and neuroticism really weighed heavy on us today and cost us one sad day.
But I’ve learned something important, in an odd way I’ve learned to be more confident, because I knew what I should have done all along. I’ve been hurting with low self esteem and lack of confidence for so many years, wondering how I could ever get over it. In the worst way, I’ve learned today to be confident in my self because some things I can only solve. I can’t go around asking for others opinions, worrying about their projections and what they think is best. Believe it or not, I know what’s best.
I enjoy portal fantasy. It is one of my favorite modes of the fantasy genre and I have written stories in it in the past. Yet I loathe isekai. It takes the concept of portal fantasy and filters it through a lens of pure wish fulfillment. The video game influences reflect the complete lack of culture, literacy, and imagination of the people behind it. It is mindless, worthless garbage, the most neckbeard genre there has ever been.
tl;dr stop liking what I don't like
I’ve realized that romantic relationships kind of suck and get stale really fast. Was honestly way happier just crushing on celebrities and husbandos.
Do I fight for this relationship and make myself miserable in the moment because better things are to come? Is it sunken cost fallacy? Or am I just scared of being alone?
I wish life gave easy answers. I wish I could see which option has the best path for me. But instead I struggle through changing myself and appeasing him in hopes that he'll make me as happy as he used to months ago.
I don't want to be stuck working at something I hate. I don't give a shit if "this is the way". I'm sick of other sad adults going "well that's life for you!" well then I don't want it. I don't want life. But then they go "but you have to push through" well fuck you I'm so tired I never asked to be born I just have a medicore life that isn't worth waking up to.
>>66475>I don't want to be stuck working at something I hate.
Good place to start, that must mean you want
to work towards something you love right?
Sounds like you should just rot alive while doing productive things.
I'm so fed up with this double standard garbage. Concerts and sports events, all of those things are allowed but a book fair? No, we must cancel it, THINK OF THE CORONA!!!!111!
Everything that requires more thank half of a brain are being canceled lft and right. It's driving me crazy. Not to say that sporting events and concerts can't be good/stimulating, but in my country those places are usually for getting high, into trouble or terrible deals. Theaters, museums, book fairs, all those places and events are either canceled or postponed to infinuty.
>Just order the books online, why do you care?
Just watch the sporting event on the TV, just watch the concert on YouTube, just invite your friends over to your house instead of going to a cafe, why do you care?
>>66503>dumb people are not neurotic about covid>dumb people do not care about covid>dumb people will go to events for dumb people in person en masse quite gladly>no one cares about restricting because the people don't care
>smart neurotic people care about covid>smart neurotic people are terrified of covid>smart neurotic people would rather avoid even the chance of getting covid then having fun>smart neurotic people will solve a problem that doesn't exist because they are smart enough to create problems to be neurotic enough
Find dumber hobbies.
>>66505>Find dumber hobbies.
Back to mobile gaming it is.
You need to add some more context here. How do you know things will get better? Why are things bad now?
i just want a cute bf but i cant get one i want to die
Pfft I know I am, but this board is uptight as fuck. People need to stop caring so much and post nonsense. NONSENSE would be better than most of the low tier shite on this board.
He won't, men are fickle and care little. They BELIEVE they care, and put on a face that they are good people. I'm serious they really really believe it. But they have low patience for anything they don't like and can't tolerate not having exactly what they want for very long. They'll say they love you and then quietly blame you for their unhappiness without telling you. For months and months. Leading you on. You should live for yourself OP. :|
I want granola so bad
It's my favorite cereal
I am lactose intolerant and even if I take two pills it makes me kind of sick to drink that much milk but I don't know I might have to buy some.
>>66421>I'm not sure I've seen a "vent" thread on any other imageboard
It's not nice to lie on the internet, anon. There's plenty of imageboards that have vent threads. Also the point of having a general vent thread is so that you can vent without having to shit up the /feels/ board. Not every vent deserves a thread.
Are there any former losers who have improved their lives? (Esp. in the social aspect). I need hope kek
Why not use a milk alternative?
t. enjoyer of all milks
My friend, who I continue to be in love with despite better judgement, is attracted to a coworker of mine.
I think he's trying to use me as a wing(wo)man despite knowing how I've felt in the past.
It just reminds me of the things that make me repulsive since she and I are opposites in terms of presentation and personality (she's edgy, has a cute voice, and is socially competent). Makes me want to relapse and sh after 4 years hahaha. I can't change my core self and it hurts that no one will ever love this.
No matter how far I get into adulthood, being cool still matters the most. What a joke, man.
sometimes i think some people were born to be losers. maybe they can change but only if they're geniuses and just messy/lazy.
but some people like me just don't have the intellect to get their shit together
Back from this and feel much less dark. Glad I vented though.
If anyone reads this, don't let moids (or shitty women for the gayanons) get you down, girls.
I'm a cute, sweet lady and deserve better treatment than this, even from a friend. He's been thoughtless in the past about other things too, but he'd know for sure that this hurts. I just want people in my life that actually like me from now on. It's what we all need.
does anyone else feel they are leading a meaningless/mundane existence lately?
i know this is already the case for some most of the time but this has only started for me recently. i have so much brain fog and confusion and frustration regarding all of it
im lonely and lost and everything is beginning to feel boring. i dont want it to be this way. but i find no excitement in talking to others anymore, they are all online and nothing changes. i just work and do my online classes and am alone in my room 80% of the time.
ive considered trying out social media but that seems futile :( where does anything even go from here? whats the point of it all?
i never thought of religion that way. how all the good that is promised comes after death (unless prayers are answered i suppose?) but if theres a higher power why not make things better NOW? a lesson? a test? maybe to deny us of instant gratitude? but then thats the big debate i guess. whether its a lie or this life is a test. but if there was such a good and great god i struggle to believe he would even give us such a fucked up test that is life….just to send us to some children’s playground after death where none of what happened on earth even matters anymore.
update. ive called the office three times now, and still haven't gotten a working link. im going to call again tomorrow (later on today, because my three-year old chest pain is keeping me up and i can't sleep lol!!) and hope to God a retard isn't Manning the reception desk.
the sole thing keeping me from being incredibly angry is that Google reviews are in total agreement that the doctors are excellent, but the receptionist staff is awful.
but man in general why are receptionists such trash. why did you take a job where you regularly have to answer the phone and input things into your computer if you can't even do that properly, like…?
Making art can make art exciting.
I got into a relationship but now all I can ever think about is how things could go wrong and fearing for the worst because I think I'm not ready. I've never been with a man longer than a few weeks before and I'm just not sure how to handle it… The relationship itself is good and I'm glad it's happened but I feel so caught up in my head and in worrying about losing him now that I think it could sabotage the whole thing. And I know I'm good enough now but I also worry I'll stop being good enough later.
Are these fears normal for a relationship? I'm not used to it…
I feel that way very often. It's most likely due to depression and the fact that we aren't doing anything about it.
I'm a neet so it's pretty obvious why life feels meaningless to me, but even after I get a job I still wouldn't know what to do. All the people I cared about are gone fir a few years now, I feel like I'm not gonna get good at the things I want to be good at, an probably won't have time or energy to do with having a job anyway.
I have to do more and more fucked up things to feel something.
My crush at work has his birthday tomorrow.
He mentioned not having friends and such, so im sure he'd be celebrating alone.
But i'm too socially inept to think of a way to slide into celebrating it with him.
What do I say?
I can lead the conversation to what he's doing that day, but Idk how to push my luck and ask to do something with him. Help ;;
Kinda the same but with l*ftypol's /siberia/
because I haven't used 4chan in years (lol why would you willingly go to 4chan anyway?)
Long story short, there were some jannies in the mod team who were allowing incels and "former" /pol/tards, and other people from 4chan to infest the random board without being banned (even though the actual users wouldn't stop complaining about them) because >muh freedom of speech or something. Due to some unimportant avatarfag drama no one really cares about, these couple of mods later created their own site called lftychan.net (yes these are the fuckers who had a raid board and wanted to raid CC), meant to be for "freedom of speech for everyone except people we don't like, and shitting up leftypol with unwanted drama and shock image spam" and of course their userbase consisted of the handful of incels, pornsick moids, /pol/fags, soyjak spammers and other such scum that we didn't want on our board, so effectively they purged themselves. Obviously their site died in a couple of weeks, and now they've come back to lftypol, which is evident because during the day (US time) the misogyny, racism, hardcore porn apologia, general hostility, etc. is unbearable and the board becomes comfortable (but slow) again at night, which used to be the status quo before they made their own site. When we were incel-free, the board was friendly during both day and night and there was no sociopathic shit being posted in every thread, you could mention you're female and not called an attention whore, etc.
And now I'm here again because I'm so sick of those moids that I feel like I can't even go there to complain about them (since they're too loud a minority), so I have to come here to vent. And yes, unsurprisingly, there are actual biological women over there (as with any imageboard), but we're a tiny minority that used to be able to talk about anything like the other posters without having to conceal our gender to avoid "friendly (misogynistic) banter" or pathetic orbiter responses. I mean, we can still do that to an extent, because moderation is a bit better now without the jannies that split from the site, but the board is not as good for us as it once was, when the l*ftychan scrotes had just fucked off.A couple of other women have proposed the creation of a temporary board "for women", which would probably mean moderation to make female users feel free to post while being open about their gender (kinda like /girltalk/) without being discouraged by troll replies, but, as expected, it seems to be an unpopular idea.
If you don't believe me you can just fuck right off, I'm so fucking sick of being doubted and feeling like I don't fit anywhere just because I don't have the same opinions as everyone else, both here and there. Goddamn I've had a terrible day.
>>66677>hey (guy's name) wanna get a beer with me after work?
that's it. dont even mention its his birthday, just roll with it. make him comfortable in conversation and be a good listener. most guys are lonely and want to be understood, even more than being loved. do this and hes yours
Just ask him and wing it. Don't think about it much just do whatever comes to mind, and keep doing it when you hang out with him
Me not being allowed to say that you are a man, this was itself based entirely in the profound levels of misogyny I was trying to explain to you. We are no longer friends because you are in denial, your treatment of me was the kind future people will look back on and be shocked by. I regret trying so hard. Fuck you. I wish I didn't have feelings.
My whole fucking life is nowhere where I want it to be, I hate waking up every day and having the life drained out of me while I do school, I hate living with my abusive father. I just want to get knocked up, but all the odds are against that, either way I’ll never be well enough for it.
Can you move to a low in come apartment?
Food stamps, etc
Be frugal and stingy if you must.
>>66716> I just want to get knocked up, but all the odds are against that, either way I’ll never be well enough for it.
Apply for a low income place or shelter, then try your luck at the dating market.
If your aspirations are getting pregnant and sitting at home, you are wasting your time getting the life drained out of you in school.
Got a plan to move out, going along steady, it’s just a draining process that makes me want to kill myself.
>>66727>Got a plan to move out, going along steady, it’s just a draining process that makes me want to kill myself.
Good luck anon, I am cheering for you. You've got this.
>instantly filled with dread and the desire to go back to sleep
who else here prefers the dream world
i rather daydream now i’m scared to sleep because i always get nightmares
All of you are going to get to a better place
It's been bothering me more than usual that I ruined a possible relationship with someone perfect and amazing.
The timing was just bad for my mental health. If only it were different.
I know how you feel, I've been there too. I had never crushed on a person as hard and I just know that in the different circumstances, we would've had a very meaningful connection and we would've been so good together. But I wasn't mentally well at the time and couldn't to pursue a relationship, eventually we just drifted apart. I've never met anyone like him since.
It hurt a lot and what could've been haunted me for a very long time. At least I can tell you that it actually does get better. I thought I'd never get over it and forget about him but I actually did, took me 3 years though.
genuinely nuts how the world is full of billions of people, yet we rarely meet others we can actually connect with.
or at least, i rarely can. so dumb.
It sucks that my moid friend has to hide me from his gf because she'd go nuts over me. She hates me for no reason, I've never done anything to her, but she just hates me and wants me out of their lives. I dont get it. I honestly think she seems like a cool girl outside all this psycho shit, we could be good friends. Why does it have to be like this?
Anon if you care about your moid friend you'll step away and give them space instead of emabling his bad behavior of hiding stuff from his gf. Even if your friendship is pure, that will look bad no matter what. It will get messy if she finds out. It doesn't matter if she is being unreasonable, if he puts up with it then it's because he wants to, but you should step away and give them space as a sign of good faith. A good friend doesn't want to cause tension in friend's relationship.
people dont tell you this, but if someone is talking to you, you dont actually have to listen.
just nod and add in a couple "oh yeah?"s every now and then, it fools anyone.
Ignore the other anon. If you care about your friend, get him out of that shitty relationship.
How do you know it is a shitty relationship? You have no other information about it, and you even know he is actively hiding her from his gf even though he knows she wouldn't like it. We don't know why anon's "moid friend"'s gf doesn't like her. Enabling shady unfaithful behavior does absolutely nothing to soothe the sitution and suggests the shitty part is actually the guy. Unless you are underage you solve this by either stepping back or talking it out with her and seeing what her objections are. If she is abusive your moid friend can leave if he decides to.
Limiting who your significant other can or can't be friends with is shitty behaviour.
i hate my mom so fucking much
she raised me to act like her but whenever i do she gets angry and yells at me ?? wtf do you want from me just leave me alone
what a fucking hypocrite
That is not true at all. There can be good reasons for that. Either way, no one can limit what another person does. Evidently, that dude just kept being "friends" with the hidden anon anyway.
I've stopped contacting him over this, because this whole situation just doesn't fit well with me. It doesn't feel good at all to be treated like some dirty secret for no reason, but he comes talk to me on his own so we hang out occasionally. Just sucks that it has to be like this, it shouldn't have to be.>>66804
I don't have a lot of information about their relationship, I haven't asked and he doesn't talk about it to me, but I have heard from his other friends that it's a toxic one. She's made him cut off some his moid friends out of his life too and their relationship is on-and-off. His friends have told him he should break up with her, but they've been like this for 2 years and counting.
Honestly seems like you dodged a bullet with that friend of yours, he seems like an asshole.
ED thoughts are cropping up again. I think I might be getting bad, but it could be what I need. There are no therapy resources in my country.
I keep thinking my body is a prison, some kind of punishment like I'm Gregor fucking Samsa. I guess I'm wrong, but it feels right in my mind. Eating healthy is like a cope when I really shouldn't be eating at all. In fact, my mind was pretty healthy just over the past few weeks and days. It's only today when I had a "slip" and ate half a treat that all these thoughts came back. Being a junkorexic worked really well for me, scarily well, and I'm not satisfied with the fact that I pretty much only eat vegetables and protein but my weight hasn't shifted. I want to be healthy, I want to feel good, but I don't want to be in the "healthy weight" range anymore. I don't want this shape. I know it doesn't make sense. I'm not clinically overweight like I was in the past, but I know I could be so much better.
I keep lying to myself that I'm doing it so my crush might like me more once he sees my body, but I know that's just a stupid way to trigger myself. I'm holding "This guy you don't even talk to atm will think you're fat if you're not 88lbs" over my own head like a carrot on a stick, and I know it's retarded and it's really all about my own self-perception, but it still works.
I can wait until November. I don't need to light my heater yet.
you can fucking do it make winter your bitch
or just stop being terrified of the flu and realize the people on tv are lying to you
i ghosted an entire group of friends and now they wont stop trying to contact me. why cant they just leave me alone? its been 8 months
They banned me for posting hentai even though I went to the trouble of blurring out the nude bits. Fucking janny losers
this is why we need to protect our free speech with firearms
>messaging a friend that I've known for a couple years
>no issues or conflict whatsoever
>just chatting about some random stuff
>I ask about playing a game together sometime
>"maybe but I don't have a lot of free time right now"
>ok, fine by me, I will wait
>don't talk for a week because I wanna respect that they're busy
>try to say something today and find that I'm blocked
>no idea when this happened, no explanation
My neck needs a rope around it. It's not fair
I hope this isn’t out of place here, I always use vent threads to mirror back my feelings.
I wanted to say something unique and different this time, to give credence to the good. I wanted to say, before I forget,
I worked SO hard! And I am SO proud of the work that I did! It came out beautiful, I did a good job because I am good at it and because I put in a ton of effort.
i hate porn i hate sexting i hate sending nudes i dont want any irl relationships or any meaningful relationships and i would never do hookups ever and even the thought of someone seeing me or touching me in a sexual way makes me want to vomit
tfw still gets horny
I don't like life. I want to stay high perpetually, my mind has a defect only drugs can fix. If I'm not on a drug I do not like existing. This can only go on for so long before my mind and/or body give, or I end up homeless. If I can't have drugs I just wanna die, fuck this shit. I don't want anything but to get high and even that's getting old, fuck. Oh well, at least I'll be able to be high on the way down.
Relatable, but I never get horny anymore without trying. Masturbating alone in silence can be nice.
I made the smallest of mistakes at work and I still get anxiety over it. I charged some dude a slighty tincy extra and they got angry and stormed out. Hurts my self esteem a lot knowing people will hear bad news about our places from this angry dude cus of a small mistake I made. How can I learn to let go of past mistakes and move on with getting better? I never seem to let past grievances go by and i'll seriously be up at 2am in cold sweat thinking about times I even made the smallest of mistakes in a social situtation. I just seem to so desperately try and seek comfort in other people's approval of myself.
Seriously feeling awful and helpless about being a loser NEET in the country with no bank card or license. I was completely unable to fix a problem with my phone service that shouldn't have even been a problem in the first place, but ended up making both my Mom and I cry and lose sleep. I just pretended to sleep as she had to figure it out this morning before she went to work and I'm so miserable and guilty I could just die. I hate hate hate hate hate our phone service and hat myself.
I used to feel the same and I used to just replay my mistakes in my head over and over
What helped me is the mindset that it's in the past and that the regret, guilt and/or embarrassment felt shows growth but replaying and dwelling on it doesn't change the past, you can only try to do better in the future
It also helps to think about how everyone in the situation does not think about it and you're the only one who is still dwelling on it. No one else cares about that situation as much as you but you can also choose (better phrasing would be "convince yourself") not to care.>person who stormed out
Irrational and short tempered people like that don't have enough enough short term memory capacity to take the business down, even if they tell a person here and there about how you charged them a tiny bit extra
But again, dwelling on it won't change your past mistakes and you definitely stayed anxious about that situation more than that person did
For the situation specifically, wait 6 months, if you're still feeling strong emotions thinking about it, you haven't finished processing it.
For other situations that are further in the past, if just remembering them is causing emotions to rise up in you, you probably aren't finished processing those situations, while this isn't bad, it is generally unpleasant and can impede other processes. You can try going into the past to your most emotionally charged memories and attempting the following.>First describe in detail how and in what ways the event affected your life, could be almost not at all, or immensely, just try and dig as deep as you can as to what it actually affected>Next, write down in intense detail what you were seeing, feeling, hearing. Where you were, what you were physically doing, who you were with. What was positive about it? Negative about it? What was under your actual control, what wasn't under your control? You want to be as specific as possible, you want to be embody the memory (though it may be somewhat unpleasent). What specifically should you have done differently?>Finally, write about how it may have affected your personality, your trust in yourself and others, and hopes for the future. Possibly even how it effected your beliefs in the value of human life, yours or others.
What you want to generally do is physically embody the situation mentally as much as you possible can, properly decide on how important this situation actually was, and what you should have done in specific exact steps.
i'm so lonely. there's technically nothing "wrong" with my life but i can't connect with other people at all and i wish i could. idk
I just saw a male acquaintance I hadn't seen in months and the first thing that came out of his mouth when he was me was "wow you're so fat". I know I have gained a bit of weight (from like 57kg to 63) but I don't even have fat folds or anything. I've been doing efforts to lose weight, it's not like I'm just stuffing my mouth while sitting on my ass. I was lifting weights for a little bit but then got lower back pain so I had to stop, started cycling but I hurt one of my knees like two weeks ago and I'm waiting for it to get better so I can ride again. I tested it again yesterday but it's still bothering me a little, I was gonna let it rest more but I guess not. I've always struggled with my appearance but this is the first time I've cried over it. I feel like shit because I'm not even fat. I'm 166cm tall and currently weight 63kg. It's just never enough. Fucker told me I was fat TWICE in less than one minute. Barely ate today, I just don't want to.
After I was done crying my boomer mom saw me and asked what was wrong, I told her like a fucking retard expecting her to actually show empathy. She said I was in fact a little bit fat and then proceeded to ridicule me for crying, comparing me to her deadbeat alcoholic sister. I cannot fucking wait to move out with my bf, at least he shows empathy for me like a normal human being when I feel sad, instead of getting angry and invalidating my feelings. Honestly idk what I was expecting, in the last couple of weeks she has made fun of my weight and pointed out my cellulitis twice.
He sounds like an anal bastard, I hope you're able to ghost him and your mom forever.
Ok now I sound like the anal bastard. But. Yeah.
idk why I'm being so stupid and horrible. I've been slowly ghosting a childhood best friend (we're in our 20s now). She's super social though has always made the biggest effort with me because she says she values our friendship over any other and adores me.
I've always been a social outcast but for some reason it's becoming increasingly comforting, the idea of being completely and utterly alone. I'm letting her down because I have this thought in my head that I'm no longer capable of normal human communication and that I'm just going to bore her to tears, and that the idea of no longer being able to bother anyone is super reassuring for me…and my last cope is basically limiting the amount of situations I can let people down.
Maybe if I start feeling worse I'll just tell her what I really feel. That way she at least will know.
Please don't ghost her, she doesn't deserve that.
You're going to hurt both her and yourself if you ghost her. Try to be transparant about your struggles with her, you'll regret ghosting her down the line. Don't ruin a precious friendship.
Hey anon, fellow island-to-herself and I've done this 3 (plus…but they were less close to me) times and it feels like shit every time. I threw away two friends who genuinely liked me and the potential love of my life.
Like anons said, you should just communicate how you feel. She may be able to just give you distance, which is something my childhood best friend does. If you've known each other this long and she loves you then you should be able to reach a medium somewhere. Maybe only talk once every week to two weeks or something. Scheduling helps in my experience.
I've been fully isolated before and perhaps I was less anxious, but when the loneliness hits it hits hard. Don't do it unless you're legit full schizoid.
Yee, I ended up accepting her call today after posting what I did. We had an ok talk. I really resented myself for thinking "I want this to end" for the first half of the conversation but I ended up gradually relaxing after a bit and being more interested and wanting to listen to her and tell jokes. Felt super disassociated though and barely present.
Oof, that's rough.
I'll try talking to her more about my failings soon. Things felt awkward but I realize that she really just doesn't expect much besides me being mean and also there for her.
Also idk if I'm diagnosed with anything. I just have a speech disability and might be narcissistic but in the "I'm super self-centered yet hate myself and think nothing of myself" way. I know I can be okish to other people. Just at this point I'm struggling with…the idea that I might never be able to be the person I want to be around others. I'm just so deeply steeped in my own bullshit.
Does anyone else get seriously ticked off hearing people with that bimbo, "popular girl in high school" sounding voice like "Oh mai gawd, you will not believe what OtherStupidBitchFriend said the other day". While I was waiting for the bus today, a group of three of these started yappering and yelling loudly (No regards for their personal surroundings, of course. Other people turned around like "wtf".) and I felt embarrassed just listening, considering they should be college students (Because we are at college housing).
Are these the kind of women guys prefer banging? These Beckies that don't sound like they have a single braincell makes me weep for the state of education..and the human race.
anon, those are the Stacies
stacies are both smart and beautiful. the women from anon's post are just $3 bimbos.
is there a lot of stacy worship here? not based.
Try working in a hotel. Because thats all the guests do is complain and get mad. They will always find something wrong with the room, or the tv, or their rate, their neighbors.. and always find a way to take it out on you at the front desk. So you develop a thick skin, and in the end nothing phases you. You should just flat out look for a way to become "hated"
Yes he sounds horrible, but you should learn to let things like that roll off your back. Otherwise you're easy to manipulate and shame. Nothing any one harasses you for should make you feel that bad.
Good god its not even worth it to be in a relationship if your existence is that shitty and diminished.
yes cause guys mostly just care about looks
Stacy and Chad were originally meant to be parodies of what people see as "alpha" males and females: despite physically being exaggerations of what's considered stereotypically sexually attractive, and very extroverted and social (as opposed to the "virgins"), they're loud, arrogant, stupid and obnoxious, but presented in a way that makes these traits appear like positive traits (which produces the humorous effect).
That's what I meant when I called those girls Stacies.
Dunno if this really counts as a vent but I don't have anyone to tell this to and I don't want to forget (I have memory issues)
I've been going through a really rough time recently; I lost my bf, all my friends, and my chance to attend college.
Today I just stumbled across a bunch of old messages I sent to a guy online when I was 13 and remembered what life was like back then. I was extremely miserable and just ranted angrily about various (legitimately awful) ways I was being mistreated and talked about how I felt so physically sick and suicidal every day. I expected to go in and cringe but I honestly just felt sad reading it. I was so absorbed in unhappiness that I was completely not self-aware of how I was spewing shit while this poor guy was trying to change the topic from "ways to kill self" to his hobbies and interests; I just cried about not liking anything. I even said I didn't have any friends and declared that he wasn't my friend. Which I guess he kind of wasn't, he was an autistic teenager who I think felt bad for me and didn't really know what to do other than keep trying to get me to join his nerdy hobbies. Kind of feels bad to think about how unpleasant I was to him without having had any idea.
But seeing this is kind of uplifting in a way. Knowing that I know a bit better now, even if I'm still stupid in many ways, and knowing that I won't go through the same inescapable stuff anymore as an adult. It kind of helps to reflect on how I felt back then and think about how I had some really amazing times after that (even if they're over now). I guess it makes me realize that even though I feel really down now, there could be better times soon.
>be a child in the 2000s
>all we knew about autism was kids throwing tantrums and climbing on roofs and refusing to get down
>discover 4chan as a teen
>autism memes funny
>keep making fun about autists for years
>made fun of this aspie girl in my college class
>look up autism symptoms
>mfw i'm probably a sperg myself
been having an online fling with a bisexual transwoman for a few months, as a lesbian.
she sent me her pic today and she doesn’t pass as well as i thought transwomen do, which is pretty much a dealbreaker for me.
well there are other issues too, such as how could i accept the fact if/when she decides to cheat on me with another male.
i mean, bisexual males like penises, and being assfucked with one, and having one.
which isn’t anything i’d ever want to do or receive in any way.
and males need lots of sex, and the exact kind of sex they like, so i couldn’t ever satisfy her.
and males spread stds easier than females, especially to females, that one a scientific fact.
in the end, i’d just feel like some heterosexual tradwife crying over her scrote visiting gay sauna and giving her AIDS, which is like, the most invalid feeling a lesbian could feel i guess.
fucking stupid and not worth it.
and i feel stupid for stringing her along, i just wasted both of our time.
only reason why i ever followed her on IG is, because other cislesbians just hate me, and i’m lonely.
and not even in ’im not like other girls’ way.
i want to have a cis gf, because i only get off to eating pussy, and i want to be the taller one, but it’s just not happening, like ever.
i’ve tried so much, and it’s so tiresome.
idk how to even ghost her or whatever, since i’d just get branded a TERF probably, since she’s a wokey.
so i’m kinda stuck here.
Nah, they wouldn't have been considered attractive enough to be Stacies. One of them was Asian too and you don't often see Asian Stacies. (Plenty of annoying Beckies among them though)
I feel like I'm encountering Beckies more often recently and I think they're even in my Computer Science major now. There are two of them that go to my professor's office hour that sounded really dumb and one of them was wearing tight ass yoga pants that she bended over in. They constantly orbit this professor too, so I don't know what these hoes are trying to get from that. But most importantly, I'm terrified these kind of brain-dead women are in Computer Science now too, of all things.
Tbh this kind of people make up of 90% of teenagers where I live, both male and female. They swear constantly, make tasteless jokes and stale memes, get drunk and smoke, etc., they're obnoxious assholes and everyone else resents them.>Are these the kind of women guys prefer banging? These Beckies that don't sound like they have a single braincell makes me weep for the state of education..and the human race.
Why does it matter though? Moids don't mind banging any woman that isn't horribly disfigured/obese, etc. A lot of moids as I said are lie this themselves, dumbass bottom of the trashcan teenagers usually bang other dumbass bottom of the trashcan teenagers.
Anyone else here super ageist? I’m in a waiting room where you have to sign in through a Kiosk and none of these boomer retards know how to use it and they’re getting angry at the worker for it. I hate technologically illiterate old people.
The only teenage girls I hear talk like that are all black.
t. teaches in High School
Not really. Old people are just that, old people. I hate serving technologically inept old people, but that just means I'm not cut out for customer service.
Not really, when we are old it will be some other bullshit that people make us put up with, and we'll be seen as a problem for not being able to keep up with technology.
The world changing sucks and the rapid pace of technology is a stressor on human life. It separates humans from our roots and from the simplicity and freedom that our ancestors enjoyed. Old people have seen enough shit to realize that things just get worse and worse for industrialized society every decade but to the youth it's "Get with it gramps."
I wish I felt better/healthier. I feel like a zombie all the time. I get sick every month.
one time in my life I felt amazing and it was after staying up and talking to a friend all night and then day-sleeping, and I woke up feeling energized for once and not in pain or tired. literally everyone I knew that saw me immediately freaked out and said I looked way better and that my bad dark circles disappeared. I took a few pictures. Unlike every other pic of me, I looked like I actually got sleep. Tf?
To this day it still bothers me how differently I felt then, than how I've felt for basically all my life bc obviously nothing is wrong with me.
Do you still daysleep or no?
Nah. Get 8 hours at night, every night.
Well, I'm not going to say you're unhealthy, but if you are following all the best practice tips and are actually truthful about being that regular in your sleeping, you may have a sleeping disorder. Do you have a hard time waking up in the morning? Like it takes two hours?
>>67100>bullshit that people make us put up with
Technology isn’t “bullshit that people make us put up with.” It literally makes things more efficient.>we'll be seen as a problem for not being able to keep up with technology
Hounding an employee because you don’t know how to use a Kiosk with simple instructions is
a problem. Stupidity and entitlement. The employee even asked the women to check her email for the appointment confirmation and she said “I have so many emails, I can’t!” They’re so fucking stupid.>things just get worse and worse for industrialized society every decade
A kiosk in a medical office is not ruining the world and society. Old people who can’t use technology are retarded burdens.
I miss being young and heavily involved in fandom.
How is an automated kiosk more efficient? More efficient for who? It's far simpler for the customer to have a human working at the front desk to sign you in. But kiosks are highly efficient for the corporations who get to pay fewer employees by automating their jobs. I hate them at the supermarket but I have to use them because they always only have like two human aisles open.
hmm, I feel just deathly for a few hours.
But I'm able to get up if I need to, I just struggle with talking and acting normal as just existing feels painful and my eyes burn and ache the second I wake up. I think in general I feel the most human between 12PM and 3PM (even if I don't get any sun).
I had surgery to breathe better thru my weird nose when I was 19 which helped a bit and I still need jaw surgery because my jaw is placed weirdly and makes it hard to talk right, and I also have asthma but I'm not sure if that's related.
Glad to say that when I posted that, I was just having a bad day. I'm still eating vegetables and fish and complex/healthy carbs.
I still want to lose weight, and I still want him to see me and think "Wow, I could snap her like a twig. She's cute, but is she okay? Would it be bad to ask? This makes me uncomfortable but I'm attracted to her, fuck", but I actually do not want a shitty, diminished existence. I want to live happily and healthily.
I don't know how to balance the two desires.
(Also, I do talk to my crush, but on that day or close to it, I wanted to ghost him. He somehow talked me out of it, though. Sorry, posting on CC is like meditation for me)
>>67121>How is an automated kiosk more efficient? More efficient for who?
It’s more efficient for both the employer and employee. All you have to do is click a few buttons and the doctor simply calls you in. If a boomer can’t figure it out, they’re a senile retard. It’s also safer than face-to-face interaction during COVID. Also..>purposely going to human cash registers instead of self checkout
Self checkout is so much quicker and you don’t have to deal with bullshit small talk. If hating on technology makes you feel unique then go ahead, though.
>>67078> One of them was Asian too and you don't often see Asian Stacies.
Are you really unironically racist?
How the hell is that racist? It makes complete sense, considering Asian women tend to be raised much more conservatively than Western ones. You ever heard of Asian sexually rebeliant women like flappers, but whose movement hasn't stemmed from any kind of Western influence? There's your female "girl crush" Kpop groups too, and the sexual display in their music videos is definitely westernized. And for show on top of that - I guarantee you the women in them aren't dressing nearly that liberally in public.
>>67160>Self checkout is so much quicker and you don’t have to deal with bullshit small talk.>autist who can't small talk is a social misanthrope
I can barely contain my shock.
>>67160>Hounding an employee because you don’t know how to use a Kiosk with simple instructions is a problem.
If the Kiosk isn't simple enough any can use it are the instructions actually simple?
My boyfriend has recently developed anorexia on top of his existing mental health issues and everyone is saying I should try to support him but I’m honestly starting to feel like I’m completely done with him. On top of this he’s also starting to lie and hide things from me more. I feel like a bitch but I can’t handle any more of his neuroses and this one is the most illogical and self destructive one yet. I’m out of sympathy.
Not that anon but what does Kpop have anything to do with shallow Asian Beckies in a western country? Are you from the US? In my country, they're more or less like their European counterparts, just with a non-native face kek>>67117
What prevents you from being heavily involved in fandom now?
I'm so lonely. I only had one friend but even she stopped responding. Idk what to do or who to talk with, I can't relate to anyone.
Trust me anon some guys are just assholes and will use their issues to get away with bad things. Already seems like it's too far gone.
You aren't a bitch if you leave him. In fact with how u feel now it's more messed up to stay.
Imagine wanting to waste your time talking about the weather with a complete stranger you will never see again. You know they don’t actually care about your life and they’re just doing their job, right? Such self-importance lmao.>>67193
Yes, the instructions were simple because I was able to sign in in under a minute and so was the other non-geriatric person in the lobby.
im this close to messaging my ex bf and i wanna kms
>What prevents you from being heavily involved in fandom now?
Literally nothing but I can't seem to bring myself to engage with fandom anymore. I don't even want to read or watch tv anymore.
>just get rid of your victim complex br-
I can literally draw a timeline of what other people did that led to the absolute state of myself.
I'm a really bad liar. I just can't lie. Even if I want to, I just can't and I end up telling the truth, even if I don't have to or if it'll cause me trouble and the person is better off not knowing. It's really frustrating.
I watched this video about what it means to be "the exception" (aka "You're pretty for an asian or black or brown girl"). I always just take it as a compliment. I disagree with it ideologically bc there are tons of attractive women of all races IMO, but if someone thinks I am special, why should I be upset? If they see something in me that they don't see in other people, that's not a bad thing.
Anyway, the OP of the video explained that a (black) guy once told her she's "pretty for a dark-skinned black girl", and that he usually only dates mixed and light-skinned women. Then, he dumped her for a mixed girl, and I understood the problem. The issue isn't "You're special", it's the part they don't say out loud: "You are rare and delightful [but there are others I consider better than you, and you pale in comparison to them]".
Being "othered" is not bad, it's that it isn't enough. I need to be with a guy who doesn't just think I'm a rare, exotic beauty. He needs to think that not only am I special compared to other women of my race, ALL other types of women are also boring, unappealing and/or ugly compared to me lol. Thanks for coming to my TED talk
has anyone heard about a woman being raped on a train in front of a ton of people? I'm horrified.
I protect people when they obviously are in trouble, even guys. it's not hard and I've taken a few hits bc of it (never did I hit others tho) and gotten my arm broken, etc. I'm not really a good person, more that I can't stand around and do something when I see something bad happening in front of me. why don't others do this? if a bad person like me can help others why isn't other people doing it? how tf can you stand there filming such horrible things? I get being paralyzed because I have severe anxiety and take meds for it, it's just…seriously, there's always something you can do. right?
humanity is a mistake. the last cope I had was that most people weren't really doing bad things but does it matter if people can't actually can't act when people need help?
edgelord rant end
Hanging is the only solution.
Life isn’t so bad! ^o^
I want to stab myself to death.
You’re improving! ^o^
I’m irreversibly fubarred.
Getting a job will turn things around! ^o^
look up : bystander effect
cognitive biases are fascinating
I’m 27, been in a relationship for 6 years. I had a conversation with him last night where I told him that if we weren’t engaged by the time I graduated (~1 yr, PhD that’s why I’m old) then I’m breaking up with him because it’s not fair to either of us to go on like this forever especially when I’m looking for employment. He was really sad and asked if I was unhappy. I explained that I like him and like spending time with him, but I find it hard to reconcile the amount of time and commitment I have towards him with our lack of progression towards marriage because it indicates that either 1) I am not measuring up to some standard I am not aware of or 2) I am simply not “the one” for him and he will never “be ready” with me. He said “don’t you think it could be because I don’t feel like I have a good job or career?” I said that people have gotten engaged in worse finances and that if he wanted to he would. He seemed to take it well enough I guess but has been subdued. I don’t want him to propose out of fear, I want him to want me and marriage. Was this a mistake?
>think of a dude I stopped talking to abruptly over a year ago
>feel sad and sick about it because he was a good guy
>been on my mind the past month or so, but especially this week
>somehow manifest him back into my life today
>still feel sick
Anons what the fuck. I'm never happy.
Tell me I'm a dumbass and should just talk to this man
You’re a dumbass and should just talk to this man
Based. Thanks, anon.
Gonna not fucking go mentalcel and ghost him this time like a huge dolt.
I HATE being in love with him, I fucking hate it
we don't even see each other irl and I'm already forgetting exactly what he looks like, I seriously doubt he remembers my face, but his voice is SO FUCKING ALLURING. Aaaaghhhh. I can't help but wonder, what he sounds like in bed…. oh fuck, kill me.
I want to work out, but why does it have to be so difficult?
I hate sweating, I hate pain. How the fuck do people just get used to it and do it every day? There was a short time in my life that I was exercising daily, and I didn't hate the results, but I fucking despised how sweaty it made me. It feels like I can't bring myself to go back to it.
I find it easier to literally starve for days than to exercise. Why?
I did this to a good friend when covid started. It just felt easier to not have to talk to anyone. I regret it so much and I'm scared to try contacting her again.
At least be honest with her anon, it'll make it easier if you ever want to talk to her again down the road.
SAME hahaha fuck
I told my friend that the coronavirus wasn't a big deal and that he shouldn't worry and a month later it's a global pandemic, that only makes it worse, aghghhghhh I'm terrified of contacting him again, it wasn't my intention to stop talking to him but honestly I just didn't want to reply to anyone because I didn't feel like I had anything new to say
Why is keeping contact with friends such a drag? Anything I do or don't do about it just makes me feel worse.
>>67411>we don't even see each other irl and I'm already forgetting exactly what he looks like
How many years has it been?
i just think if i can't even do this what am i good for ?
I try to pretend that I have the same training as people and that I drew and studied, I worked hard, but it is at the stage when I try battling with self to do something, I do not know if you would get that thought process
I have so much passion that it's so hard for me to do something that takes me years because I have a rare chance that I will be bothered to get something I want, myself trying hard to get myself to play a fucking video game and most of the time I can not do it
I do not think people understand how much the gift of being disciplined is better than genius and that genius is worth nothing, because to do things easily or learn faster is meaningless, because everyone who studies can do the same and from proper experience from masters. if you spend more time on things, you really keep them, the better, it seems
people are so stupid to want to have innate intelligence or to be different and fucking neurodivergence lmfao and be jealous. I think you want what you do not have, but since I'm a gifted, mentally ill, strange shitty genetic, I have to suffer that I am not understandable or relatable and have sympathy with it, fuck, it is sucks, I always think that drawing is something you have to have to be able to do it and, but it is not and as with everything else
you know how people hate talent, especially in art, I can understand it, because I hate people who can practice. I always have to hide the truth about me, like with genius, everyone in the knowledge has jealousy, bad energy towards me about that, especially because it seems like I do not try either, but I literally try a lot and suffer a lot because I can not just practice and do not do Simple tasks, especially without knowing why I am like that and always so stressed because only at the last minute to study and do homework and have other mental illnesses problems, no one you would understand or sympathize? I have this tism in which I think everyone is like me too, so I can not imagine that people have it much better and can not understand things, even though I see reality a lot, mental gymnastics, forget everything, illness mentally unattended.
I have it so bad, how did I end up on the genetic level with so many rare chances, since the diseases are so rare and serious, even though they are rare, so I can hide it and even in life strange things are always with does not happen to me? I just hope it's definitely because ADHD and not paying attention to things.
I hate mental illness and being different and the strange mental illness is getting worse and I won't schedule screening until have to go to school and start flinching and freezing around a random type of people. Maybe my doctor will remember that I will not be able to schedule screening do this because she will not prescribe what I need to function
does anyone sympathize, I hope I can schedule that psychology appointment and ask there
Why do you bother making such a long post at all >>
Talk about fixated :v
For a self-alleged genius I'm having a hard time parsing what the problem you're even venting about is. Are you complaining that you don't have self-discipline?
I had the same kind of problem in the past. I remember one time going on this strict couch to 5k regimend that I managed to get halfway through before completely burning out, because I absolutely hated jogging. The strategy I took was to pick a form of exercise I actually enjoyed, even if it wasn't the "best" for getting in shape, for me that was jumping on a trampoline. I only did it for as long as I found it fun, which typically lasted an hour (with plenty of small breaks in the middle.) Nothing hard, nothing painful, just enjoying using my body in an some sort of physical activity. Over a year and a half I built up some serious leg size just from doing this every other day. I found that over time, you tend to start going harder not for any big reason, but just because it's boring to do the same easy stuff. My husband wanted my help getting to the gym, so I started going together with him to walk on the treadmills. Started doing that two weeks ago. Just yesterday I managed to do a 5k jog easy. I think it's really important to just find a form of exercise you enjoy doing until it stops being fun, then you're ready to move onto something more challenging. Unless you're some form of cripple, there has to be some form of exercise out there that you would enjoy doing in and of itself.
Point is I have all these off-chance things about me that aren't relatable or understandable
was a reply that developed into a vent in reply to someone saying I probably didn't get their thought process because of talent and it sent me on that tangent and I'm having withdrawal from getting off stimulants so I just start uncontrollably blogging when I feel like it
CUNT HOW DARE YOU HOW VERY DARE YOU I WOULD CURSE YOUR FUTURE OFFSPRING IF I DIDN'T INTEND TO USE YOU FOR YOUR HIGH VALUE SPERM. MAYBE I WONT EVEN DO THAT NOW, THATS HOW MUCH YOU PISSED ME OFF YOU SELFISH, WILLINGLY STUPID BITCH
Today was shit and I'm bitter about it because yesterday was a great day. It fucks with my head lol, my life is completely in the hands of luck.
Nothing ever seems to go my way. I'm going behind in school because of some stupid paperwork out of my control and can't do this month's exams, I've to find another language teacher because I lost mine since last week was a shit week and forgot to concur on a schedule, found out moid I liked was a fucking pedo.
Jesus fuck. Can I get a break.
It's pathetic but I really wish I could be alone forever in an isolated cabin because I desperately want to be able to dance, sing, read aloud, and talk to myself without ever having anyone else around. I'm terrified of people and uncomfortable with relaxing and not having a stick up my ass. I want to just be able to live and not constantly worry what people think about me.
>instead of seeing other people I'm constantly afraid of how I come across, I can't go outside without being scared
>grew up as basically the lowcow of my school because my inability to talk and ugliness and was used to them basically obsessing over everything I did, taking pictures + videos of it (including the awkward way I walked) + absentee parents
>still get bad comments from strangers about the way I come across or look
>even privately I struggle with learning new things because I look at myself and think it's pathetic that I think I'd ever go anywhere and that I'm being full of myself for even attempting
2 lol we just met once IRL
Well, we had seen each other before, but only for a few seconds and from afar. This was the first, and so far only time we've talked to each other in person.
I used to have a photo of that day saved on my phone, and some pics of him that were shared by someone else, but I deleted them when I realized that this crush I have on him is dumb as fuck.