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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

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291ED0E6-9365-4EC7…

Vent Thread Anonymous 83058

New vent thread. Last thread: >>>/feels/79488

Anonymous 83059

I constantly feel irritable or angry. Right now I really feel so fucking angry that it's making me tear up and I want to punch a fucking hole in the wall like a redneck moid. It's making me suicidal because I feel so hopeless. Every single day I'm angry. I don't know if it's just my depression or I have something more serious like bipolar?

Anonymous 83061

…what happened to the other vent thread?

Anonymous 83064

>>83061
What are you talking about?

Anonymous 83066

>>83059
Are you angry at people or objects?

Anonymous 83068

>>83066
People

Anonymous 83070

Another terrible OP image.

Anonymous 83071

>>83068
Maybe consider using your anger to plan a long-term revenge plan, that you will implement in about a week.

By the time a week has passed you will have already forgotten about your anger.

Anonymous 83072

>>83070
post your choice and it can be used for the next thread

Anonymous 83073

1634481821506.jpg

I went on a date yesterday and went back to the guy's house. We didn't have sex, but we did do other things and holy shit it was so obvious what a massive virgin I was oh my god. I couldn't even look at him half the time and I didn't know what the fuck to do because I have like zero experience and also I'm probably a massive sperg. I texted him good night when I got home, but I couldn't say anything else because I was so embarrassed about it. I don't mind if he never contacts me again, but I'm cringing and imagining him shit-talking me to his friends or something about how awkward I was. I really just wanted to try and experience what it was like to be intimate with a guy but I didn't know I was going to be this terrible at it lol. He wasn't bad though (maybe a little cringe with the dirty talk). If this is the extent of my irl sexual experience I think I'd be fine with it kek.

Anonymous 83078

>>83058
hey, I need some advice on something
I have a new coworker, a flamboyant middle age man (bald, brand clothing, perfectly groomed, uses tons of perfume)
He speaks with everyone (even with our boss) as if he's superior, except me and another youngish woman (the speaks coldly with the older women too)
He winked at me before and now he wants me to move from my current office (a shared room with 2 of my male coworkers) to his office
I declined and I blamed myself for not giving him the benefit of the doubt, but now is as if my worries are confirmed bc he avoid my eye contact, speaks coldly to me and stopped saying goodbye when he left
was I actually right? like, why would he be mad if he didnt had any other intention?

Anonymous 83080

>>83078
Sounds like you're freed from some manipulative scrote's target. Good work.

Anonymous 83084

I genuinely feel no empathy for moids anymore, I don’t even see them as human. I wish most of them would just end themselves.

Anonymous 83085

>>83073
Meh, men are weirdos who get turned on by shy inexperienced virgins.

Anonymous 83086

>>83070
What would be a "good" OP image, retard?

Anonymous 83089

>>83086
Not that anon but something not ugly from a porn scrote show would be better, it's not rocket science

Anonymous 83092

>>83089
This is so you rn.

Also what do you mean "porn scrote show"? I used to watch Ren and Stimpy with my parents, get a grip.

Anonymous 83100

>>83089
>porn scrote show
meds

Anonymous 83115

>>83084
The only moids I feel sorry for are the ones with disabilities or disfigurements. The rest are evil Stacy chasers.

Anonymous 83128

>>83089
The ORIGINAL Ren and Stimpy was a kids show, you EEEDIOT!

Anonymous 83188

Anyone else find it funny how there’s more trannies on 4chan than reddit now.

Anonymous 83190

vent: do you guys ever get really put off by men when you overhear their locker room talk? it genuinely nauseates me and makes it hard to be attracted to them. why do they act this way?
>>83188
kinda makes sense

Anonymous 83191

>>83190
Hearing how males talk about women behind their backs made me the misandrist I am.
I've also heard a guy say he would rape if he could get away with it.

Anonymous 83192

>>83085
kek well he still hasn’t texted me since then so i must have been autistic enough to scare him away anyway

Anonymous 83193

>>83190
Locker room talk is a blackpill. Crazy how moids can talk about their desire to rape women and children to other subhuman moids, then still expect to be treated as normal decent human beings outside of that context.

Anonymous 83194

I hate when you love a certain aesthetic but it just doesn’t suit you at all. And then you hate the styles that do actually suit you.

Anonymous 83195

>>83193
there should be a guide on how to discern men who don't engage in this type of behavior from other men.

Anonymous 83196

>>83195
The best guide is your intuition ^_^

Anonymous 83197

>>83196
i recently heard the phrase "don't trust the spark," which i feel rings true for my intuition.

Anonymous 83214

>>83197
Spark as in a romantic spark with a guy?

In that case I somewhat agree. Slow burners tend to be the best and pay off the most. Much more than those love/lust at first sight type things.

Anonymous 83215

64826A6B-18AC-4852…

Why did I stay up until 2 am I can’t even talk to my friend or anything he’s asleep

Anonymous 83216

>>83215
Picrel is an inside joke I have with him

Anonymous 83218

>>83214
yes, slow burners always ended up being the most intense type of attraction.

Anonymous 83227

>>83194
Same. I’m ugly and my taste is cutesy and it’s a struggle

Anonymous 83234

8643665473546.jpg

>>83191
I'd rob a bank if it was guaranteed I would get away with it.

Anonymous 83252

>>83234
I don't think rape and bank robbing are comparable

Anonymous 83253

>>83234
Stupid

Anonymous 83254

>>83234
Interesting how you conflate female humans with currency. Truly showing your ass now.

Anonymous 83258

1-29-2013 9-27-24 …

It's been a year since I was able to get aroused. I think it's the medications I'm taking, but I'm afraid if I lower the doses I will go back to being a miserable cunt. Still, I legitimately feel depressed not being able to get wet or turned on. The past few days where I had taken maca supplements and actually able to get horny was nice, but it's gone again since yesterday. I think it's because of my clopixol injection.
I'm going to go back to sleep and only wake up when it's dinner time and time to take my meds and maca supplement, repeat ad nauseam. I'm crying. I just want my libido back.

By the way just for fun, what socionics type are you guys? I'm ESFJ

Anonymous 83268

Am I being a stupid bitch or is my pain justified?

I dated this guy back before the pandemic and we thought we were going to get married. he was a virgin and respected my sexual boundaries and didn't try to sleep with me. we never did anything PIV, just gave each other head. we broke up when i started having extreme mental health issues around the pandemic. i initiated the breakup.

I get sexually harrassed often and have had to quit extracurricular activies because of it, as well as having to lose friends. I'm extremely afraid of the way I'm treated by these men and of the way men approach sex in general. I'm somewhat pretty and I talk to a lot of men. I've talked to maybe 30 men and none of them would respect my boundary of waiting many months before having sex. It made me miss my ex bf because he was my only hope of having my boundaries respected and I loved him dearly.

we finally got back in touch a few months ago. I was hopeful I could win him back, because no other man had ever loved me as much as he did. we went on a few dates and started talking regularly. I told him i loved him and would be willing to finally have actual sex with him, but he said he was worried it was a bad idea, and that sex can be really dangerous if the two partners aren't committed.

Then two weeks ago I get a text from him…
"I just had sex"
apparently the hypocrite fucked some random chick who was in his class and thought it was a good idea to tell me about it immediately after it happened. she took his virginity. i was never an option for him and the whole "sex is dangerous" thing was a lie.

I told him I never want to talk to him again, and that it disgusts me how he strung me along. I deleted his contact and havent heard from him since.

all hope is lost. i talk to and reject so many men because they will not do the bare minimum for me and accomodate my sexual trauma.

Anonymous 83271

Feeing suicidal again and want to die, but I can’t since I wouldn’t want to let my family down or my job down. My job is so fucking stressful, almost all of my friends live out of town (or even the country), and even though I’ve been trying to put myself out there and date it’s annoying when the only guys who like me are cringe and the guys I’m into don’t care about me but that’s just life isn’t it lol. I should be grateful that I have friends at least and a job and a place to live. It’s just tiring having to go through every day. When I’m done with work all I want to do is sleep so I don’t have to be awake anymore.

Anonymous 83278

>>83268
Trying to date while you’re still healing from trauma is disastrous. If you are afraid and insecure and depressed, you will only attract the worst kind of men. Work on your mental health and self esteem until you’re in a secure confident state, and then try dating again.

Anonymous 83294

>>83278
what if i do heal though? would he be less of a faggot?

Anonymous 83297

>>83294
You’ll know you’ve healed when you stop caring about him and move on.

Wouldn’t it have been way worse if he slept with you then dumped you afterwards? At least you got to keep most of your dignity.

Anonymous 83298

>>83297
that is very true. youre an angel.

Anonymous 83299

I’m trying to write a story about a dull girl whose life changes forever due to some unforeseen event. However I’m afraid of it being too cliche. I don’t like the parents in a car accident or diagnosed with a brain tumour then meets a Chad at the hospital storylines.

Anonymous 83300


Anonymous 83315

My (now ex) boyfriend hit me and chocked me during sex, even after I told him NOT to. After that, he left me alone in bed, and didn't check on me.
I broke things off after a pregnancy scare, when he said he'd hit me to force me to abort the child in case I were pregnant as a joke. Now I'm crying alone in my room because I can't believe how much I miss him. I love him dearly. I hope he calls me tomorrow and says he wants me back. I want to lay on his chest a last time.
He makes me feel so comfortable and safe. I'm an idiot.

Anonymous 83317

I don't know if i've made a mistake. I think i still love her even though i keep telling myself i don't. I remember how comfortable it felt sleeping with her by my side and how just her smell could make me happy and i don't know what to do with that. I wish i still had her blanket to sleep with

Anonymous 83322

Humans are really terrible. What an evil species. Why are we like this.

Anonymous 83325

>>83315
stop it. stop. why do you miss this scum? you’re not well, do you have anyone to turn to? money for therapy? you don’t have to be this way, please seek help at least don’t do what you think you wanna do right now

Anonymous 83329

NPR-light-vehicle-…

>>83315
>chocked me

Anonymous 83332

Back to that state of mind where all i want is to be someone else. I pick a rando on instagram where they’re in a place i want to be, and i stalk them obsessively. Living vicariously through them. I just don’t want to be me. I feel sickened by the very microscopic core of my self. I don’t want to die but i want to be someone else so bad.

Anonymous 83334

>>83325
I miss him because he's my best friend. He's fun, and kind, and smart, and handsome, and lovable. He's so dear to me. Just seeing him makes my life brighter, he lights up every room.
>>83329
What does this mean?

Anonymous 83335

>>83325
I forgot to reply. But I have friends and family who love me lots. I also go to therapy and I take psychiatric medication. I'm fine. I just miss him.

Anonymous 83366

>>83334
you misspelled 'choked' and added an extra c making it 'chocked', a chock is a wedge used to stop cars

Anonymous 83386

>>83366
Oh okay sorry. I'm ESL T.T

Anonymous 83389

I've been posting in these threads every now and then.
I finally broke off a relationship of almost seven years, there was a lot of manipulation and abuse, the closer I grew the less they did for us/me, and when I grew distant he would pull me back in being, doing all the stuff he knew that I liked. Add also some lying, manipulation, what I selling not quite nudes, which I considered cheating and more.
This was my first ever serious relationship, and I hate that it basically ate my 20s.

With some support I was able to break it off, almost 3 months ago.
Yesterday I saw they updated a story to whatsapp, they went on a flight and vacation to the mountains, which was I plan that never happened. And I hate it, I hate that he's on it, that I don't know where they got the money, since they were perpetually broke, that he's gone with someone and I don't know who, if it's a friend, family or a new partner. I hate that I'm still recuperating from all the money I spent on him, and I can't go on trips even tough I really want to. I hate seeing her happy and moving on when I'm still hurting. I don't want to get back, but after all I suffered and what he did, I don't want him to see him happy and moving on so fast. Or at least I'd like to stop having this uncertanty, it feels like he's still mocking me, being misterious how who he's with.

I know it is self centered, but I can't help it, and I hate that it bothers me. The only reason I don't block him cause that would feel like admitting defeat, and I don't want to reach for the same reason and wouldn't want to open myself to more manipulation when I am so vulnerable still.

Anonymous 83392

>>83389
Continued:

I also unsure how to proceed on my own romantic life, I definetly would like to get into a relationship again, but I'm afraid that I'll project a lot of my ex shittyness on whoever I'm dating, and I evidently carry a lot of worry about him. Should I wait a bit more to see if they go away? Start a new relationship and hope I'll get over him?
For today I guess I'll treat myself to something and buyself a small gift and visit some bookstore or something.

TLDR: Shitty ex uploaded pics of him on vacations, he's with some one, I don't know if family, friend, sugardaddy or a new partner. I hate it.

Alright, that was it for my blogpost, even if no one reads it, it's nice to vent here.

Anonymous 83394

>>83389
Blocking him would not be admitting defeat. You need to do it for your sake. The trip sounds like bait to show how much "better" he is without you, no matter who he's with. Scrote move. Take this time to learn to love yourself after all that shit you were put through. Blocking and cutting any contact is the first, sometimes hardest step, but necessary. As for getting into another relationship, only you can decide when you're ready for that. If you're into the idea of hooking up for the time being, then maybe try that? Please anon, block that piece of shit. You deserve better after all that time.

Anonymous 83397

>>83394
I know, I'm working on it. At least there's been absolutely no contact, I just haven't blocked him.
As for hooks up, I did that before, and it's not for me. I get tense about being with a stranger, sex is usually mediocre and it always end up regretting it as a waste of time. I'd rather wait until I'm in a relationship again.

Anonymous 83420

>>83389
100% bait to try and piss you off. Classic ex bf tactics. If he was broke like you say then I’m almost certain the new gf paid for the trip which is pathetic lol. A lot of the time, new partners are very jealous of the ex, so they probably planned it together to piss you off. You definitely need to block him and move on.

Anonymous 83424

>>83394
>>83420

I thought that I was being egocentric thinking that, but it makes me feel better that it's not a reach. I surprised he hasn't posted something of them together it that's what happening, although it could be a sugar daddy/mommy kind of deal, so that could be why.

Anonymous 83449

>>83195
If you're exposed to the "locker room talk" you're already in a position to find out which retards to filter out.

Anonymous 83455

I can’t really post here anymore because a moid basically scans through all of the posts to see what I post. I think it’s really creepy and I hope he sees me says this. I don’t understand how men can just cross boundaries like that and not see how weird it is.

Anonymous 83472

The government should give me £60,000 a year to stay in bed watching TV and giving cute animals "stritch scratches".

Anonymous 83489

There is a kind of ugly that looks nice, harmonious and kind of attractive. I guess conventionally attractive. But then theres looking like a sack of shit. Looking ugly as sin. That’s my struggle, i dont want to be beautiful, i just want to look human, i dont.

Anonymous 83504

3758FC51-13C7-44B1…

I hate mainstream media so fucking much.

Anonymous 83507

20220727_083122.jp…

My friend got into a program I really wanted to get into and I can't lie, I'm hurt and jealous.
I am happy for him of course, but I wish we both got in.

To get into this program you have to be interviewed. When I was interviewed it was only men and they all talked down to me like I was a child.
Meanwhile my friend has less qualifications than me and forgot to bring something important with him to the interview, yet was still accepted.
Why? Why him and not me?
He did have different interviwers than me, perhaps he just got nicer ones.
It makes me wonder that if I was a man like him, would I have been accepted? If I was older like he is, would I have been accepted?
I know thoughts like these are pointless but I can't stop being jealous of how he's doing the things I wanted to be doing with the program right now.
The interviewers were so weird to me. I wish I got the ones he had. Then maybe I'd be let through.
I hate how much luck is a factor in this world.
There really is just no reason why he should have got in but not me when I was better prepared and have more qualifications.
Why not the both of us?
I hate those interviewers I got so much. I hate how so often you can follow all the guidelines for something, but ultimately the result is up to the subjective opinion of some random interviewer.
Ahhhhh this sucks so bad.

Anonymous 83519

>>83092
she probably means that the creator is a gross sex pest who groomed and abused children
wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Kricfalusi

Anonymous 83521

>>83489
Why do you think you don't look human, nona?
>>83504
Why?
>>83507
That's very unpleasant, nona. I hope you find another better opportunity.

Anonymous 83526

>>83507
You don't want to work for/study with sexist assholes anyway, anon.

Anonymous 83530

1593373876234.png

Just read the sister thread on here and now I wish I had a sister.
I have two younger brothers, one who's a very rude dickhead and the other who's, for lack of a better phrase, mentally handicapped. Guess who almost ALWAYS has to clean up for them afterwards…

Anonymous 83531

Her: I'm answering this once and that's it. Don't add this to ur "why im sad" list, just realize ur making this a bigger deal than it is. Soon i'll never see u again

You irritate me for all the stupid questions asked, the way you conduct urself in private and public places, and u use people's kindness to annoy the shit out of them

Now bye. Good luck with ur problems cause ur a mess and need to fix that!

Me: I’m sorry you feel the way you do. I don’t really know what instances apply to the grievances you listed, and it seems like you’re the one with the “why I’m so sad list.”

I didn’t leave the chat specifically because of you, but because of depression and didn’t feel that I could communicate with the other members appropriately, which included you. I didn’t want the other members to know about that so I kept it vague because it really isn’t their business, and they acted like babies because of it.

I would’ve been down to set up boundaries on what to talk about, but it looks like I must have intimidated you.

Regardless, I think I needed to hear what you said and for this to happen, honestly. Thanks for the wake up call, you were a fun time. Have a nice life.

So the relationship can never recover right?

Anonymous 83541

>>83519
Why are all male cartoonists pedos

Anonymous 83542

>>83530
What are your parents like? Don’t they help you

Anonymous 83559

>>83489
I used to feel exactly like this before I got surgery. It's awful that women have to put themselves through that to even get treated like a human being, but it really did help. I havent gotten harassed for my looks since I "fixed" my face and my anxiety got a lot better.

Anonymous 83575

I want to drink so badly, but I've no money and I don't live alone. I'm on meds so my bf and family would never allow it. I'm almost 22, I should be able to drink whenever I want to.

Anonymous 83590

My coworker won't stop fucking sniffling. It's summer so it's not allergies. Blow your fucking nose holy fuck.
>>83519
Yeah I'm OP and I heard about this. I still like the show though but it's hard to reconcile.

Anonymous 83600

>>83575
Drinking on meds… you’re not missing out.

Anonymous 83609

my friend raped me, on a hill, its the 4th time ive been sexually abused in 2 years, what am i doing wrong? Im not a slut, i dont like sex, im ugly. I dont understand. Im a disgusting object clearly.

It was horrifying, it hurt so much, im still in pain three days later, i thought i was going to die and i couldnt breathe. I said no, repeatedly, he didnt stop. What the hell.

Anonymous 83613

dsfgdfgdd.png

i fucking hate my boyfriend's friends they're all dickheads that make terrible jokes, jump down your throat when you try to tell them how they hurt you. i'm stuck between letting him c4 his entire relationship with his group of friends or just dealing with this constant shitty behavior.. or some alternative idk

I've tried keeping quiet about the situation which apparently i'm supposed to speak up when i'm hurt. i hesitate now because one of the moids outed me. i said in private that you know maybe we shouldn't say slurs as passing jokes. i was gonna let it go but he brought it up at a later time and everyone jumped down my throat about it. see next paragraph.

I've tried talking to them about situations, which they either deflect, say it isn't their problem (my feelings), or say sarcastic remarks to get out of the talk.

seriously like it seems like every time they open their mouth it's something hateful or rude.

i've been having great mental health (ups and downs a bit) for the last year which was all shattered because of some stupid straw that broke the camels' back bullshit that was said on a recent trip. i understand that i may have overreacted but i'm fucking tired of moids, i'm tired of having to explain myself over and over again. i can't even joke about certain things (vidya or jokes about myself) without being insulted but it's okay guys it's just a joke why you mad (the worst moid in the chat/group beating jokes until they're smashed to dust)

literally trying to talk to the worst moid is like talking to a brick wall.

imma bout to eat my own face

Anonymous 83615

>>83609
rapekit and call the police
see a therapist if you can
don't do drugs and alcohol around moids or unsafe people don't go alone with moids

Anonymous 83617

>>83455
How would you even figure out who reads your posts? Did he tell you or are you schizophrenic?

Anonymous 83620

>>83609
sorry i hope he dies a horrible death that’s not your friend, that’s a menace. worthless parasite

Anonymous 83624

>>83609
You are probably just very nice and pretty passive and moids take advantage of that

Anonymous 83626

During lockdown I started obsessively reading about history stuff. I have only one friend that I made only 3 years ago. We are not super close but we always enjoyed having coffee dates from time to time. I hadn’t seen her in a month. We went for coffee last week and because I’ve had no one to talk to for the past 2 years, I ended up ranting about a bunch of dumb historical facts and anecdotes and was droning on and on for like 30 mins at a time, all in all the coffee date lasted like 4 hours and she made an excuse at the end and left.

Even though I could see the boredom on her face somehow I couldn’t stop ranting and it kept coming out like word vomit. I blame the loneliness and lack of human interaction.

Since that meet-up she has been ignoring me completely and not messaging me at all. It sounds dumb but I know she’s probably not gonna reach out again for months if ever, now I feel like garbage and legitimately want to cry. Every time I think I made a friend I scare them away with my autism and boringness. Why can’t I just be normal.

Anonymous 83628

My sister discarded me so easily once i stopped talking to her and i feel like a fool for confiding in her for years. I had no other choice and i’m not really hard on myself over it but it still hurts.
She fleed our country like years ago when i was very young, because of her decision i took all the abuse and anger and never thought to blame her once and was always so understanding… i directed my hate onto whoever was treating me like a punching bag at the current moment and always made sure to stay in contact with her and be there for here as family. recently due to growing older and just processing all what happened during my youth i became extremely suicidal, i stopped calling her since i was spiraling half of the time, i ended up becoming heavily suicidal and basically determined to go through it. i expressed this to her when i was still anxious about these thoughts a few months ago and she went on about her own depression and struggle, not hearing me out at all. never called since then too. I’m numb right now since i’m basically dying soon, but this feels like the last straw for me. I think something broke

Anonymous 83629

>>83626
Not gonna lie your friend sounds kinda rude imo, she could have just said she wanted you to stop or was tired of hearing you maybe even in a jokey way, instead of making excuses and now flat out ignoring you.

Anonymous 83630

>>83629
Have you ever been friends with anyone highly autistic? They don't get social cues, you could be telling them to stop talking in 43 different languages and they wouldn't get it. By the time you've reached the point of rudely saying it straight up, they get offended and upset. Im sorry but from an outside perspective, autistic ramblings are annoying and self-absorbed. When you're talking to someone you're supposed to find a middle ground you're both interested in, not just infodump about your current special interest for 5 hours without letting anyone else get a word in. These are skills that will of course be harder for you to learn if you have autism, but you can work on them if you truly want to.

Anonymous 83634

>>83626
I would let you infodump to me for an hour or so if you could let me infodump to you back

Anonymous 83635

4mg1i5.jpg

One of my girlfriends is deaf. She just got a bf that rented an entire theater to put subtitle on a movie she wanted to watch and is in sign language school to talk to her.

I want to cry, I'm so fucking angry right now. Why are some girls so fucking lucky find someone like this. I get stuck with incels that just want put their cum inside me.

Anonymous 83637

1660741904730163s.…

My boyfriend is a very good guy and he's always been there for me I'm pretty much in love with him. But something I've started to notice when he kisses me is how bad his breath smells (sometimes i want to avoid kisses on the mouth for this exact reason). I have tried encouraging him by telling him its important to brush our teeth after eating certain foods like eggs because it tends to leave a smell behind. Last time i encouraged him to use mouth wash and the problem stuck. I think it's because he's always napping and he doesn't talk a lot so maybe thats the reason, i don't know how to bring it up. We've been dating for 8 months and i don't want to embarrass him.

Anonymous 83641

>>83637
i'd listen to the moid that responded to you, he won't do anything unless you are straight forward about his bad breath. would disagree with him about it being a suitable reason to break-up though, a little bit of bad breath isn't worth ending a relationship for.

Anonymous 83642

>>83639
why are you lurking on my precious board

Anonymous 83644

>>83643
God just kys scrote. We can't have a single thing to ourselves huh. And btw no woman should have to tell you to brush your fucking teeth, it's a pretty obvious human being task you should be doing even if you don't see anyone but of course a retarded scrote that thinks hes entitled to women's spaces has to be taught even how to wipe his own ass.

Anonymous 83645

>>83641
I feel so shy telling him though, i would personally die inside if someone told me i smell bad because i have a phobia of it. And he doesn't have bad breath always. I just don't want to point it out because maybe to some extent he cant control it. I was just so suprised when the mouth wash didn't work on him.

Anonymous 83648

>>83639
How did you feel after she told you? Plus dumping someone you pove over as little as bad breath is extreme.

Anonymous 83649

>>83648
Love*

Anonymous 83651

__akemi_homura_kan…

I want to talk to you again and I want to ask you if all the sweet things you said in the past that mean so much to me still hold true.
But I won't, because I'm so afraid of you finding me weird or rejecting me.
I'm always curious though. I'm always thinking of you.
I wish you had never deleted your account. I know it's silly and ultimately it's your choice but it held so many good memories to me.
I could always message you again but I truly do think I'd rather die than have you reject me or think of me badly.
I wish we never stopped being friends.
T, have you ever watched Madoka?
I think you have, right?
I don't care if it's cringe, the way Homura feels about Madoka is exactly the same way I feel about you.
I'm so sorry for all the times I've been a bad friend to you.
If I could, if you let me with open arms, I'd spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you.
You are the sweetest girl always.
I hope you're doing well.
And one day, I hope we can be best friends again, even though I seriously doubt we'll ever talk again due to my own cowardice.
I really, really hate it when I can tell you find me weird or would rather be around others.
I know I used to be a much more extroverted, normal and bubbly person and that is probably the 'me' you loved but a lot of bad things happened to me that I never told you about which lead me into being the introverted, weird person I am today.
I'm sorry.

Anonymous 83652

__akemi_homura_mah…

>>83651
I messaged you on an account that I've now forgotten the password and username to, I messaged asking "Is this T?" and you replied back asking "Who is this?"
And then I never replied back because I'm a coward.
I know you don't browse here since you thought imageboards were weird, but on the extremely small chance that you do I just want to put that out there.
I'm sorry for being delirious.
If I said it was me, I wonder how the conversation would have went?
I'll try and stop being weird now, sorry. You just popped into my head randomly today. I love you always.

Anonymous 83653

>>83651
Not her but yeah… same.

Anonymous 83655

>>83542
My does but my father not so much. She’s not always home either due to long work hours.

Anonymous 83657

>>83643
>sometimes you come across a post that makes me say "Huh, never thought of it that way".
Wish this was the kind of reality i lived in. You just don’t think much about things because most terrible shit doesn’t concern you

Anonymous 83658

>>83530
Same, I had a dream not that long ago, I was telling my older non-existent sister, that I was having some troubles getting over my ex and resent break up, and she talked to me about how she also had some relationship problems before, and we could talk about it after.
Then she got in her kart, and the mario kart style wacky races started.
I woke up crying and missing my sister.

Anonymous 83659

>>83637
Sounds like he's dehydrated. I find I consistently have that "morning breath" taste if I don't drink enough water.

Anonymous 83668

My bf takes so long to get ready. Jesus Christ, it irritates me so much lol

Anonymous 83669

>>83637
Maybe he has a rotting tooth or tonsil stones.

Anonymous 83705

When i hear people go on about how "the pandemic still isnt over!!1!1!" i want to sock them in the fucking face. I'm not even a COVID denier, antimasker, or antivaxxer (vaccinated myself). Do these people never want it to fucking end? My mental health is already in the shitter and if shit started closing down again i'd have a nervous breakdown. Fuck these people.

Anonymous 83706

I turned 24 yesterday. I dunno. Generally I feel like a bitter 80 year old stuck in the body of a young person. When the soul is corrupt there's no helping it.
I am a toxic, terrible person. I am not kind, generous or compassionate. I am self centered, selfish, envious, passive, apathetic, helpless cunt. I look at current 18 year olds heading off to college and I find myself irrationally simmering with jealousy. I wanted the college experience and what I got was academic underachievement and a long stint with depression. Even after treatment, it became evident that the depression has turned me into a mental cripple who just evades their problems instead of facing them, and shrinks into the endless cycle of verbal self abuse to outward venting instead of taking proper steps to develop inner discipline back.
I'm not depressed enough to take my own life, but I am blue enough to to look at all aspects in my life with loathing and distaste.

Is it always going to be like this? I don't want to be 30 and miserable still, and I look back and realize that I'd spent the best years of my life lamenting an existence that I could have enjoyed but didn't. God. God, I used to have the gift of intelligence. Now I'm borderline braindead. Do I have BPD?

Anonymous 83707

>>83706
>I am a toxic, terrible person.
I'm the same. It feels good to not be alone. I'm chronically angry and judgmental. You mentioned BPD but have you thought about Bipolar? I've suspected I have Bipolar II bcause of my constant rage.

Anonymous 83710

>>83705
I really just think they enjoy the high of the mild amount of control it gives them over others, or some kind of superhero syndrome because they're "doing their part." it's really annoying because they're going to be able to say it forever if people don't tell them to shut up. Covid is now with us like the flu.

Anonymous 83720

>>83389
I just wanted to update, I realize I didn't want to block him so he can see how much better I am doing, and how much he fucked up.
He also kept updating stories on his trip, as many pointed out it's probably a move to make me jealous or something, otherwise I can't explain why he wouldn't show a single picture of him with his traveling companions, unless he's a) ashamed of them, which is pathetic, b) as many said trying, to bait me, which is equally pathetic.
He also updated silly pics of himself, which he didn't want to do with/for me cause they weren't appropriate or some shit.
All in all, although it's on my mind, I can't help but think that I did a lot in the relationship, I tried booking trips, but something always came up, I gave gifts, pics, an understanding shoulder, and more. And it never came back.
Now it seems he's saying see, I can do these things, I was never the problem, but he fucking is and was. It only makes me realize how he kept that from me on purpose, the keep it as a bargaining tool, and not to show me love.

I'll block him, in time, but since my situation has improved immensely, I want to brag a bit first.

I'm out of that hellhole country, making more money than I was, with more traveling opportunities, with more actual friends, and, although this may sound a bit sad, I seeing all those pics made me realize how much I was messing out on traveling, and will probably make more local trips too.

Feels kind of good to admit that I don't really want the best for him, that I'd like some sort of revenge, and want him to suffer for the time, money, effort and love I wasted on him, only by seeing how much he missed, and how he'll never get it back.

Anonymous 83722

>>83720
And I forgot to add, that eventually I'd like to stop giving a shit about him, hopefully this year.

Sorry for the rant, I know I'm being monothematic and insistent with this subject, but those were almost 7 fucking years, and most of my 20s.

Anonymous 83723

>>83720
Good for you anon, this makes me happy. I don't even know who you are.. epic trails

Anonymous 83724

>>83705
It isn't over, though. Saying it is doesn't make it so. Everything's open, and no government is going to close anything again because of how angry it would make people, so no point in bringing that up.

There are still thousands of people dying every day from it. Pointing this out doesn't mean I don't want the pandemic to end. I really would like it to. But it is currently ongoing, and saying that isn't anything but the truth.

Anonymous 83727

I used to seek attention online in very bad places while I was a teenager and it sort of screwed with my perception of myself and others. Before I started doing things for attention I felt normal and clean and now I feel inferior to everyone and always want attention on myself. If I feel like I didn’t get enough attention for the day then I feel bad inside. I don’t know if this is normal for everyone or not. I also do have very low self esteem from the time I was online because of the harassment I got but I don’t know if any other anons have gone through something similar.

Anonymous 83736

>>83724
>There are still thousands of people dying every day from it
Same with heart disease and diabetes. I can honestly say I don't give a fuck. The world needs to move on.
>>83710
Exactly this.

Anonymous 83740

>>83736
Heart disease and diabetes aren't contagious, but okay.

Anonymous 83742

>>83727
Hey, I'm the exactly same way! I also don't know whether it's normal or not, but it got better for me with finding a friend who gives me a lot of attention everyday and also by finding stuff to be passionate about (it might also involve getting some attention like volunteering). Low self esteem can be a little hard to fix, but there is also stuff that can help with this.
I understand it can feel really weird because wanting attention is seen as something inherently bad in our society but however cheesy it might sound finding healthy ways to get it is priceless and makes you feel a lot better even if the process of finding those healthy ways that work for you can be hard.

Anonymous 83750

>>83705
Lol ok normie Stacy.

Anonymous 83752

77f758ca338aa49f6b…

>>83658
I know that feeling exactly, although granted it's been a long while since I last had a positive dream.
I hope that one day you can find female familial love, even if it's not necessarily through having a sister.

Anonymous 83753

>>83740
>>83750
Go lecture people on reddit about how they should wear masks when they go on walks outside in the year 2022

Anonymous 83755

>>83753
Wearing masks is based desu. Don’t have to breathe in normalfags disgusting tonsil stones and AIDS breath, CCTV can’t spy on me, nobody can judge me on how my face looks. Only normalfags want masks to end.

Anonymous 83780

Today some middle aged moid with a rucksack walked into my porch. I’m not sure if he was a transient or something. He tried to talk to me, I clocked him and immediately slammed the middle door in his face. He just stood there grinning at me for like 2 full minutes. When I asked him what he wanted and that I was about to cal the police if he didn’t leave, he started umming and ahhing and said something about wanting some apples from the tree in front of my house. I told him he could have a couple because I couldn’t be bothered arguing and wanted him to go, so he left and shut the door and I watched him leave. He didn’t even take any apples and just walked back down the road looking behind him at me. Needless to say I’ll be sleeping with my gun tonight. But that was very weird. And when I told my old boomer neighbour about him, he told me I was mean to him and he was probably harmless and genuinely looking for apples. Usually I’d feel bad but I don’t care anymore, especially when someone trespasses like that. I’m so fucking tired of having to be nice to scrotes.

Anonymous 83781

>>83780
He could have had a knife or rope in that rucksack too. If he was hesitating it sounds like he made up the apple bullshit on the spot as an excuse.

Anonymous 83787

>>83753
Literally never said anything like that. All I'm saying is the pandemic is ongoing, which is an absolute fact, and ignoring it will not make it go away, another fact. You're the one with your panties in a twist and putting words in my mouth.

Anonymous 83789

>>83787
I literally do not give a shit. I don't care if obese unvaxxed people are dying. I'm moving on.

Anonymous 83790

>>83789
Your opinion and objective reality are not the same thing.

Anonymous 83802

>>83790
Ok, have fun fear mongering and feeling morally superior to people

Anonymous 83805

>>83802
It’s nothing to do with that lmao.

Anonymous 83806

I just found out my bf probably unironically raped his ex gf, I'm so upset and disgusted but also furiously jealous wtf am I feeling

Anonymous 83807

>>83806
Imagine dating a man.

Anonymous 83808

>>83724
lol ur tarded

Anonymous 83822

>>83806
>jealous
Weird bait

Anonymous 83823

>>83822
I'm not baiting this is eating me up inside and I want to hurt them both, shut the fuck up

Anonymous 83824

>>83823
Time to find better priorities

Anonymous 83827

The world is so cruel to people who aren’t beautiful.

Anonymous 83829

>>83637
As awkward as it is the only way is to outright tell him.
Bad breath can happen for many reasons, especially if for some reason he has less saliva in his mouth (talking, working out or using something like Ritalin would do that) since saliva helps get rid of smelly bacteria that like to live in our mouths.

Anonymous 83830

Someone hurt me in the past and I thought I was over it, but now shes putting herself in front of me unwittingly and it's bringing back everything. I absolutely despise her, I want her dead, I really can't forgive her. She's even worse than she was last time, the way she's fishing for attention in my community constantly and trying to wring people dry to move up social ladders. It's taking everything in me not to explode and start doing malicious things to her anonymously, I can only function normally when she's out of sight and out of mind because otherwise every single thought is devoted to how I can figure out how to hurt her and drive her insane.

I don't know how to deal with this. I feel like even confiding in others is making it worse but bottling it up just makes the desire intensely strong.

Anonymous 83838

I just realized I live nearby a fucking asphalt plant, which is not recommended because the pollution is known to cause cancer. Fuck. I love how cities or asphalt plants don't give a fuck about citizens enough to put these fucking things somewhere away from people!

Anonymous 83882

my mother has been piss herself drunk off and on for a month now and before that she was also piss herself drunk just less frequently. She asks me for rent money despite the fact tht I pay two of her bills and I’m constantly buying groceries. I buy these $6 eggs to bake with, she uses them instead of buying her own and doesn’t replace them. I’ve had to clean up her disgusting drunk mess too many times to count. She slurs mean names at me and tries to kick me out when she’s drunk. If I try to talk to her she ignores basically everything I say. She brings weird homeless men into the house. Today she had the audacity to ask me if she needed to write me a letter about her feelings so I don’t yell at her. I told her to shove her feelings up her ass and that I’m not doing her playing the victim anymore. I use to have less of a temper when it came to her but she has just worn me down over the years so now I really don’t care about her feelings or how I talk to her. Because it doesn’t matter how I act she still acts like a shitty person and then follows it up by acting like a fucking victim all the time. I literally just cannot stand her.

Anonymous 83940

I just want to put my head on someone's lap, have them stroke my hair and make me feel even for a second that I don't have to be constantly stressed and afraid. It's a trite thing to say, but I'm just so tired.

Anonymous 83944

>>83830
nevermind just slept for 12 hours all is good again

Anonymous 83951

>>83940
I'm telepathically doing that to you right now anon, hope things get better for you soon

Anonymous 84008

I hate everyone besides two people lately and it makes me feel like shit.
I wish I got along with more people but I think it's impossible to force yourself to like someone.

Anonymous 84012

my messed up toes are driving me nuts, I limp around dragging my feet because the pain makes it hard to walk and can never go barefoot due to how disgusting and disfigured my nails look
I've had this stupid toenail fungus infection for close to a year now and even these liver destroying antifungal meds aren't helping
the only thing I have yet to try is daily iodine applications and I started that today but the iodine smells weird, runs everywhere, and stains everything it touches and I'm tired of dealing with this for so long

Anonymous 84016

>>84012
me too except I have worms in my butt I've keft untreated for 4 years now

Anonymous 84027

I already knew in theory, but today I heard from my uncle-in-law that my mother-in-law plans to mooch off and live with my husband and I once her mother dies and she can no longer live off her mother's pension.

She is everything I never want to be and the thought terrifies me.

Anonymous 84069

>>84016
lol wormbutt wormbutt

Anonymous 84079

I spent half of my sunday editing a 4-sentence long text for college. My professor just sent me a long email that said something along the lines of "the text you had written before was better, edit it again" and I need to reply before tomorrow morning. Honestly I'm so tired. I don't even want to read her email again. It scares the shit out of me and makes me feel ashamed. Now I'm just wasting my time.

Anonymous 84102

I used to hate my parents as a kid/teen, but in time I've noticed that people have waay worse parents. In a way I'm grateful they're not that bad.

Anonymous 84106

>>84102
"Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them."

Anonymous 84107

>>84012
I get that toenail fungus problem, I have a disgusting fungus on my bug toe which makes my toenail deformed and looks ugly as hell, I just want to grab one of those saw they use to open plaster and cut my whole nail off, and then bath the thing in vinegar or someshit.

Anonymous 84114

I hate myself for infuation over a streamer. It is not the first time. Just listening someone playing and talking helps me to survive my loneliness. But this is not healthy. I hate myself.

Anonymous 84118

God I feel so lonely right now. I'm a neet who can't find any job at all, no good relationship with my family and the only friend I have now lives 4 hours away. I would love to go visit her and be able to hug her but I don't have any money right now. I want to beg her to come visit me but she's finishing her degree, dealing with a lot of stress and I feel selfish just thinking about it.

Anonymous 84120

im going back to college in a week and dreading it.
i feel like all the girls there are so much prettier and well put together and know how to talk to each other. im very awkward and find social interaction really really hard.
the other part of me tells myself, that im there to learn and take care of myself. that as long as i do my assignments and work hard, things will be okay and i dont need to be integrated into the group of girls.
the other other part of me says that maybe this time, this time, all my efforts will succeed, and ill finally feel like a normal girl. that if i just make sure my hair looks neat, that if i just make sure i am kind and nod my head when people talk to me, that i will be accepted. that if i just keep my weird and off-color comments to myself.
i feel always that even when i try so hard, i am continually shot down. i keep getting up, again and again, just to be punched in the face again. if someone could just tell me what i am doing wrong i could not walk around with this isolating pain.
i am trying to think about what will matter when im 40 and this is all over. will it matter that i felt accepted in college or what i learned in college? i feel like its a mix. connections are important and im so so sick of feeling outcasted. i dont know how to hold on.
maybe i can get my hair cut nice after cutting out random chunks of it over the summer and also just decide to accept being alone for the most part. and just focus on my schoolwork.

Anonymous 84129

>>84120
Being in that situation sucks. What I do, is just stop trying to make friends. Learn to write fiction, or learn to program, and just do that in your free time, ignoring everyone else. I used to try so hard to make friends, but in the end I decided it wasn't worth so much effort for something I got so little out of.

Anonymous 84160

>>84114
I do the same thing even for just voices of people who post pillow talk audios online, you're not alone there.

Anonymous 84162

>>84160
Do you get jealous if you find out that they may have girflriends?

Anonymous 84163

>>84162
Yes. But I still listen to their audios because it helps temporarily.

Anonymous 84164

16591385710580.png


Anonymous 84165

1660476832313970.p…

>>84164
>get a fleeting thought of what if after listening to an audio
>view the guys profile
>he says the usual 18+ spiel
>in all caps is TAKEN

Anonymous 84175

>>84114
I caught myself spending a bit too long trying to be a bit too funny in the comment section of a YouTuber the other day. You have my simpathies, it can happen all too easily.

Anonymous 84185

>>84175
Please. I wanna see it.

Anonymous 84191

Tumblr.png

I wish I had the guts to message her. Idk how it would go, but if we met irl I guarantee I could engage my big clit energy and make a move. Being attracted to someone in the flesh just fills be with undeserved confidence. Running on pure adrenaline and romantic drive, baby.

It's so stupid. Don't know what to say or do and there are so many ways I could fuck up over text. My fear of getting on her nerves is also immense. Pretty sure she just likes fully white women anyway, or at least I'll tell myself that as an excuse. It's just difficult to find the kind of woman I'd get along with who is ALSO of my demographic, let alone one near me.

Anonymous 84201

>>83705
>if shit started closing down again i'd have a nervous breakdown
lmaoing @ ur life, it's business as usual for me with this pandemic

Anonymous 84202

c47176f641636b1ad0…

>work hard for 3 hours on making special cookies
>we have a shitty tiny kitchen so there isn't much room to have them out
>I leave them out on the table to visually appreciate as I eat maybe 2 or 3 a day
>my careless, obese father inhales the other half of the batch (9+ cookies) in one sitting
>I'm absolutely livid
>I decide to guilt him with "How were my cookies?"
>he gives the most nonchalant "They were okay."
>seething.png
>"Well I hope they were better than 'okay', you ate them all!"
>"Well you better hide 'em next time."
>"I shouldn't have to!"
>"Anon you gotta quit bein' mad all the time!" (What the actual fuck. I haven't been angry in months.)

I'm going to make a small revenge purchase with his money for being such an unapologetic asshole.

Anonymous 84207

>>84165
Can't even look at his profiles. His childhood friends in replies are so pretty, those girls are so nice and cute and I am poor ugly boring shit. In the end I'll work twice as hard to get closer to my best form because of some random dude who don't even know my name and probably never won't and never saw any messages from me. Ugh. Idiot.

Anonymous 84215

My sleeping pattern is awful and my shoulders are in so much pain, I have no idea why

Anonymous 84216

>>84207
What audio site are you browsing that they post all this?

Anonymous 84218

>>84216
Twitch. I am listening to almost normie no-cam streamer who shared his social media in "about".

Anonymous 84221

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am so mad at myself.

Anonymous 84257

It feels like I am an empty jug. No interests, literally none, I don't even remember having a hobby. I don't watch movies or tv series. I don't play games. I just scroll social media and that's all. No surprise I have no friends, nobody wants to talk to a boring piece of meat.

Anonymous 84283

>badly hold back tears during class because of personal issues
>people definitely notice
>i leave in the middle of the class because i cannot focus at all and i am about to burst into tears
I want to go back today but im so embarrassed

Anonymous 84285

Do you sleep on your sides? If yes, this might fucks up your shoulders (rotator cuffs n stuff)
>>84215
>>84215

Anonymous 84377

1631864201868.jpg

>>84218
That's kinda weird, do no cam streamers usually do that? Seems like it defeats the purpose of no cam, then again I stay away from twitch so idk. For me, what really gets me is performers are clearly hooking up in these audio communities, even with listeners, but not me. and it never will be me. I even tried messaging some guys who didn't end up replying to me.

Anonymous 84383

>>83058
It's been years since I last felt happy. I had just finished my treatment for depression, everything was going great academically. Now I'm 24, depressed again and without a diploma. Everyone got better and I just keep getting worse.

Anonymous 84389

>>84383
Don't compare yourself with others. You're doing great and I'm proud of you.

Anonymous 84486

awkward cat.png

I really regret talking to the person I have a mild crush on. It has made me a hundred times more aware of his presence and I can barely focus on my work now. I don't want anything from him anyway. This is one of the most stupid crushes/obsessions I've ever had.

Hopefully, he leaves work early tomorrow or doesn't come at all.

Anonymous 84502

>>84285
I do! I got a new drawing tablet recently, it's quite large, that might also have contributed. I'm not sure.

Anonymous 84534

I can be a pretty toxic person when I am feeling lonely. Sometimes I overthink neutral-negative interactions with people I have had throughout the day and find a way to take things too personally. For example a barista gave my coffee to another customer and profusely apologised though I said to myself “he’s only doing that to me because I’m ugly and doesn’t want me coming back”

Anonymous 84535

Was born both ugly and uncharismatic. 0 sense of humour too. Can't win people with looks, can't win people with personality. How unlucky.

Anonymous 84538

>>84202
As an update, the purchase was a $5 outfit in a game I like, which got my character some nice compliments and a good friend also sympathized with me. I feel like nine of my cookies would've been worth that much to sell anyhow, so balance has been achieved in the world once again.

Anonymous 84553

I almost got in an accident. But I didn’t. It really wasn’t that close but it was a pretty close call.
The other women screamed at me and so I went home and cried.
I even apologized to her which she responded with “so it was your fault” and then flipped me off. Like a literal teenager. Like she pushed both her fingers up against the window and kept doing silly things with them. Oh and she called me a little girl and told me to grow up.

Anonymous 84609

Malding is such a funny expression, I laugh every time I see it. Mad + balding. The fact that 99% of the male population is currently malding at any given moment makes it even funnier.

Anonymous 84627

existential.gif

I liked APC
I asked to be send early copies off Naked Beach Frenzy
none of you will ever match my feels

Anonymous 84634

I've been volcel my whole life, but I'm starting to think that having a boyfriend could be nice… At least in theory. Going through this life alone can be tiring. Maybe sharing a life with someone isn't so bad. Getting to experience the good parts with someone while having them to lean on for support during the bad. Someone to explore fun things with instead of always having to go alone. Those are just my wishes. I'm sure reality doesn't always match up to expectation. Also I have so much anxiety when it comes to men, I'm avoidant, socially inept, and I'm picky too, so being alone might be the reality for me. Well since I've been single for long, I at least know how to function pretty well without a partner. I also worry the more time I spend this way, the harder it'll be for me to find a partner because I just won't know how to do it or be a good girlfriend.

Anonymous 84636

I don't know how to cope with being a femcel. I feel like getting a "glow up" in highschool and being able to attract a few hot guys in parties where nobody knew how socially awkward I usually was gave me this false hope that maybe I could actually have a normal romantic/sexual life like other girls my age. And now that I'm an adult and its clear that it won't happen, I don't know how to get rid of that hope. I want to stop thinking "This might be the time I finally meet someone!" at every social activity I go to. I want to stop being jealous of couples both irl and online. But it's so hard when everyone craves it, everyone talks about how important it is 24/7, most songs and art and movies are about romantic love, everyone is happier in a relationship, etc.
I just want to make my brain understand that it's never gonna happen for me, be sad for however long it takes, get over it and move on with my life knowing this is just how things are gonna be and accepting it without so much bitterness.

Anonymous 84638

>employer messages me noon yesterday for interview
>dont see message until tonight
Fuck

Anonymous 84645

>>84638
Damn, nona. Can you try calling, apologize and try to reschedule?

Anonymous 84651

063C31C0-ED3A-403F…

>join circuit training gym
>put into groups of 2 or 3 to rotate between different stations in the circuit
>moid coaches never group me with any of the cute single guys

Anonymous 84657

>>84636
As soon as you get rid of your idealized notions of romance and relationships with men, you'll stop looking for it and naturally move on.

Anonymous 84661

A moid coworker randomly got it into his head out of NOWHERE that I should give him rides home whenever we end shift at the same time (he isn't even in my dept), and in the winter when it is bitterly cold or snowing. I have a front wheel sedan that handles shit in the snow, AND he knows that I live in the complete opposite direction from work. So I don't even get his moron logic with any of it.

Anonymous 84665

I can't believe I'm never having sexo.

Anonymous 84668

>>84661
Have you tried to explain it to him how it's inconvenient for you to ride him home?

Anonymous 84670

>>84668
No, because all he gets is a no, and doesn't deserve or require any explanation for his entitlement.

Anonymous 84673

>>84634
Theoretically relationships and having a boyfriend should be nice but when I actually talk to boyfriend havers irl they have nothing but whining and bad things to say about their bfs. So I dont think its as good as you think. You just have FOMO.

Anonymous 84674

>>84673
That's how I used to think. Back when I was volcel (I guess I still am lol) and I'd get lonely, I'd think about my friends' relationships and realize that they were all awful and I wouldn't want to be in their place. But a lot of my friends now have really great relationships with their boyfriends, which is why I think my perspective has changed. Like last year we all went through a really tough year of grad school together and two of my friends on separate occasions joked about how their boyfriend was their pseudo-therapist who was there to listen to them rant when they came back from class. Or one of my friends cried when we watched a movie together because she said the husband in the movie reminded her of her boyfriend. I think it was a scene where the husband was telling his wife that he just wanted to give her a happy life no matter how difficult things were or something like that. I was so touched when she said that it reminded her of things her boyfriend would say. I'm not trying to overvalue the importance of relationships since I think I can survive just fine without one, but I guess those experiences made me realize that not all relationships (especially for straight women) drain people and make them worse or codependent. I'm really happy for them, because for once I can actually see what functional relationships look like. It makes me think it would be nice if I could find someone like that for myself one day.

Anonymous 84676

>>84646
>>It also may be easier for you to find a partner online. Wanna know where I found my bf?
No, I don't care.
>>Fucking DISCORD.
Only 4chan would've been more cringe. Dude I'm saying I wanna get rid of the hope that I might meet a guy and move on and you're advicing me to e-date ugly discord scrotes? How is that gonna help? I know all women with boyfriends wanna talk about is their nigels but come on

Anonymous 84677

>>84674
I think a lot of women have a tendency to overinflate the bare minimum that moids do for them
>omg he listened to me vent, hes Prince Charming
>omg he does the dishes once a week, what an amazing guy!
>omg he didn’t ghost me after sex, hes so nice
I think it’s sad how men are so useless and selfish that when they do the smallest things for their gf or wife they’re so overpraised for it.

Anonymous 84679

>>84676
It sounds like you're already blackpilled about men, so why is it that you still have hopes of meeting a (decent, I presume) guy and experiencing romance?

Anonymous 84681

>>84679
…Because I don't? I specifically said that I know it won't happen and I just want my brain to stop with the unrealistic hope and expectations and that I want to move on with my life.

Anonymous 84683

>>84677
You aren't wrong. It's true that men get praised for the bare minimum and that's unfair for how much is expected of women. And at the same time, when I see my friends being treated well by their boyfriends I'd much rather think "Good for them! They deserve to have that support in their life" rather than "ugh that's only the bare minimum." Maybe if it was a case of overinflation I would have thought that, but that's not really how those conversations played out at all. It was more like they just mentioned their boyfriend offhandedly because it was related to conversation and I just thought to myself "Oh that would be nice if I had someone to do that for me too." And yeah, friends can fill that space too, but I think with friends it's more reasonable to accept that they have other priorities outside of your friendship (at least with my friends) whereas with a relationship there's more expectations toward the level of closeness and support you'd receive because you're both mutually invested in building a partnership. Not denying that there are shit males out there who don't put in any effort though. I've seen plenty of those too.

Anonymous 84701

Lately I've felt that the internet is too big for me now. In the past it was easy for me to be familiar with the viral posts and videos, the current memes, the e-celebs and their drama, etc. Now there is so much new stuff happening at once I get overwhelmed quickly and spend more time irl as it's much simpler.

Anonymous 84706

>>84701
I know what you mean. The internet was so much better in 2003-2012. It became shit when social media became popular and normalfags started using it en masse.

Anonymous 84742

>>84701
Same and it's extra annoying that to know anything about internet viral crap these days you are expected to waste hours watching dumb tik tok videos and nobody influencers on YT. No thanks.

Anonymous 84776

Realized today that it isn't a fear of abandonment making me cling to abusers in my life. It's a history of abandonment. Both my mother and sister used to ignore me for up to months if I didn't do what they want. Then my dad would shout at me for causing the problems and make me feel completely abandoned, even if he wasn't shunning me too.

My mother even refused to say goodbye to me when I moved abroad or acknowledge me at all when I came back to visit. Before that she also pretended she was going to cut me off at one point when I was still studying. When I was very young she pretended a few times that she was going to replace me with a "better" child, going as far to spell out the logistics, even though I was never that poorly behaved.

When I tried talking to my dad and sister separately about all of this, my dad bluntly told me to get over it and my sister didn't acknowledge my messages. I know she saw them as she messaged me about something else later.

All my childhood I only ever knew abusers so it makes sense that I would cling to the ones that came later into my life, no matter what they did. My brain wasn't catastrophizing; the idea that someone could abandon me was real. And they were never just anyone. My family had trained me that the world always revolved around other people and I had to always do whatever the other people in my life wanted and always push my own feelings aside.

Even now, I've never had a secure attachment in my life. Every single person I have been close to in my life has a abandoned me at some point.

Anonymous 84784

>>84776
i won't abandon you in this thread fellow miner

Anonymous 84786

1659123186578.png

was vulnerable and what i was afraid would happen happened

Anonymous 84788

1578352280349.jpg

Maintaining friendships is hard.

Anonymous 84797

I updated my phone because I was tired of getting notifications and I hate it. The clock on the lock screen is no longer white or centered. Aaggghhhbh

Anonymous 84812

7gh0hznqn0f91.jpg

>>83058
So he cares for me but kissed someone else at the wedding… He explains he was black out drunk and it was her who forced himself on him, no one stopped her, but he stopped her from sleeping with him. I get told this in the same message that he breaks up with me and tells me he can't do it. A few days ago he was telling me you loved me, that he couldn't fucking imagine a future without me, but now I'm so easily pushed away? I cut myself so much yesterday, I'm in tatters. I have to get myself black out drunk to sleep without him. But all I get now is a "I still care about you"? I blame the dumb fat whore for fucking me over like this, encouraging her friend to kiss him. I blame her cuck husband for going along with it. I blame the whore friend for making moves on a guy who is like ten years younger than her and has a girlfriend. But I still can't fully bring myself to blame the fucking man, become I still love him. I can't sleep alone and I have no one else to sleep with me. My friends don't fucking care that much, I'm so lonely. I just want someone to drink with right now and enjoy things with. A friend who gets it at least, someone to chill with and to bitch about how horrid men are with. One of my only friends I could do that with passed away this year. Fuck this world. Fuck everything in it.

Anonymous 84813

aggretsuko-3room.p…

>>4788

I agree. Especially when you're so sapped of energy after a work or school day that you definitely don't feel like talking to anyone. It feels like a constant uphill battle between wanting to keep your friendships (So you don't eventually end up cripplingly alone), and thinking it is just more work than you can handle right now.

I'm also currently dealing with having become somewhat more withdrawn than I ever have been before, due to numerous negative experiences with people that have left me completely drained and detestful. I was resentful of someone in my past ghosting me online so much, but now I can't stop doing the same to the others because I just feel completely done.

I've tried to revive some friendships recently but I'm sure I will slip into ghost-mode again very soon. At this point I just need friends that won't mind if I just message them like once every 4 or 5 months, although I know that doesn't end up being much of a friendship and I even had a Japanese guy I messaged with back-and-forth with these huge spans of time in between that I still ended up ghosting….

Anonymous 84815

I wish I was a better liar. I think I'd make more friends that way. But I get nervous.
I just started a twitter account that's just one big weird mentally ill lie. Let's see how it goes.

Anonymous 84820

>>84815
Nah, Lying isn't really worth it, it gets tiring before long.

Anonymous 84821

>>83720
Same Anon. Yesterday was the three months since break up, didn't think much about it yesterday. But today I did, made a mental review of why I left, funny how every time I do it, some other bullshit he pulled clicks into place. Anyways, still feeling good, no regrets.

Anonymous 84848

I have no friends and no interests or hobbies. I am ok with it but it feels wrong because everyone have friends and interests and I don't.

Anonymous 84853

>>84812
fuck this guy anon. you will get through this eventually and come out the other side.

Anonymous 84857

>>84853
No way you're on her side when she's seething at the other woman and calling her a dumb fat whore yet can't bring herself to blame her cheating moid and still loves him…

Anonymous 84876

20201019_133417.jp…

i feel like shit. i have 0 friends besides my mom and so i cant talk to anyone about these things which i wouldnt anyways because its so fucking embarrassing.
i used kink as sh until very recently and earlier this year i wanted to find someone extremely fucked up so they could ruin my life and i could kill myself. i thought i found the perfect guy and he turned out to be really nice and made me rethink my life choices. i stopped watching porn, engaging in kink and started to have a healthier life. these have been the best months ive had since 2016.
i couldnt stop thinking about him but vowed to never look at his blog again. so i just wrote in my notes app a type of thank you letter-prototype for about 2 months and this monday i couldnt keep it together anymore and made an account just to message him and ask if i could talk to him about how he basically changed my life for the better and i want to thank him explaining how he did it etc.
he didnt want to hear any of it basically. he said hes been in a bad place mentally these last few weeks and that if it was heavy he couldnt be there for me etc etc. i told him i would never do that and that it was a nice thing actually. i waited for hours and hours checking up if he responded and he didnt. all night. he was reblogging stuff though! every time he reblogged something i checked the timestamp and hoped he would reply instead of being mad at being ignored. no matter how nicely i put it. i really fucking tried to sell the idea but no chance. it was like an 8 to 1 messages ratio everytime he replied. im so pathetic. he finally told me the next day that whatever i wrote, he doesnt want to read it now. i broke down for a bit and replied 3 hours later saying no problem!!! ill ask again in a few weeks :) hope u feel better and a cute gif. no reply. i just wanted to tell him something nice. nope no sorry haha! not interested. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I POURED MY SOUL INTO WRITING THIS. I CRIED SO MANY TIMES FROM HOW EMOTIONAL I GOT WRITING THIS STUPID THING AT 4AM AND YOU JUST SAY YOU ARENT INTERESTED???????
i stalked his entire blog and found audios of his voice narrating something and im too afraid of listening to them because ill cry and wont stop.
i dont even know his name. i have a crush on him. we would be perfect together. i KNOW he would love me. we have so much in common. we talked so much non sexually and it was so good!! hes totally my type and from what he has said im his. i want to fucking shoot myself. why cant things just work out if they go together well. im too autistic arent i. why cant i just be normal. i love him so much.

Anonymous 84877

>>84876
forgot to say i cant possibly stress ENOUGH how embarrasing is that i formed a parasocial relationship/crush with a fucking tumblr dom. im in the lowest low there is. sorry for doubleposting.

Anonymous 84879

876
Wait you spent two months writing this guy a letter, who you only knew through a tumblr blog? ? Lol oh my god. But it sounds so innocent and naive. You're not a freak or a lowlife, you're just kind of young naive and fangirly. You put too much faith in people you don't know well. Its okay, but you must never do that to anyone again its dangerous. It is just asking to get your heart ripped out holy moly. For future reference… Don't show someone you're interested in, your fixation in such a heartfelt earnest way. It can scare them off. Just enjoy conversation with them and let it come out when you're further along. Enjoy life away from that person DEEPLY. Look for reasons to have fun. Don't lean on them for support early, or emotionally dump. Soak up tons of positive energy, away from them so they also catch your positive energy. Just build on that until you have a pretty consistent relationship with them.

If i didn't have attachment issues I would do this all the time, go all in, but I don't like closeness, I actually wish I could jump in like you so its not all bad anon.

It will all blow over and you will be fine. You will find someone like that again, just adjust your approach

Anonymous 84886

>>84857
nice bait lol

Anonymous 84901

I'm so upset! It happened again.
At work someone made a mistake. Not really a huge deal, just an inconvenience for other people. My coworkers started talkung about who it was and I got really worried they would believe it was me even though it wasn't. So when they asked me if I did it I was so worried that I acted weird and now they do believe it was me and I'm just denying it.
This happens way too often. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy and I cause trouble for myself for no reason.

Anonymous 84902

God I'm such a simp for guys. I have to vent it out.
There's one I used to have a crush on, got over it fortunately, but I still adore him and enjoy talking to him. Something wonderful (not related to me) happened to him today and it was lovely just being there and seeing how happy he is. I hope I wasn't too embarrassing.
Another one is less close to me, but so nerdy and awkward that it's cute (it's usually just disgusting with asocial nerds). Talked with him briefly today about something technical and when I mentioned that I worked on his problem in my free time his eyes just lighted up. My heart warmed.
Another manager has the most handsome face, and it's like looking at a statue-clear cut features and greenish eyes. Another guy I know is going to marry his girlfriend. They are all just so sweet and solid and fun to talk to.
I also like and appreciate girls, but cannot adore them that way.

Ugh I should get a boyfriend so I'll be sure I'm not acting creepy with any of them.

Anonymous 84929

>ask if salary is negotiable after interview
>ghosted
BASED!

Anonymous 84951

I'm so embarrassed still from yesterday when a moid asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said I'd never had one. He then proceeded to tell me to just go on omeagle and I'd get one fast. That's even worse than the robots trying to make a dating thread on /b/ last week.

Anonymous 84961

I used to be an overachiever with friends back in high school and now I'm a college drop out who doesn't talk to anyone and doesn't leave the house other than for work. I'm trying to start a certificate program now but it just feels depressing starting over and knowing I might fuck it up again. Damn it feels shitty to be a disappointment to others like this.

Anonymous 84962

>>84961
Side note does anyone here know what their "passion" is in life because I can't tell if that's a me problem or if everyone is just pretending to have one atp

Anonymous 84966

>>84962
I can't say that it's my ~passion~ because I hate that word, but I have a very strong positivity about what I'm working to become. You can do it, anon! It may be hard at first, but the more you complete towards that certificate is like leveling up in a video game and the completion is the final boss!

Anonymous 84968

>>84966
Thanks for the kindness nona, brought me a bit of comfort :) I wish you the best in achieving your goals

Anonymous 84972

tumblr_264438f4c8e…

>>84879
Thank you for your kind words!! I actually cried for a bit after reading your reply because of how nice and understanding you were even though my post was a mess to say the least (Also because I found it very embarrassing to know I subjected someone to reading that all the way through and then replying,I wasn't expecting anyone to say anything at all.).
The weird part is that I also have attachment issues with everyone I know in real life (Not true to be honest, also online but you get my point), because I know I get attached too quickly and hard, and fall into behaviours similar to what just happened, so I don't have any friends or acquaintances at all because I push everyone away, sadly.
I thought this guy was safe to open up to, but it exploded right on my face for obvious reasons. It wasn't a smart move and I knew it but I couldn't handle keeping it to myself and, well!
Again thank you so much anon, it really meant a lot for me. Hope ur doing great

Anonymous 84985

Now that the temperatures have been lowering, my knee pain is flaring up like a bitch. I should probably go to the doctor but eh.

Anonymous 85063

I hate autumn and winter so much. It is already getting dark at 20:00 and it will only get worse in the next months. My sleep is messed up so that I wake up at 15:00 and barely get any sunlight at all. I would gladly take >30°C temperatures over this.

Anonymous 85210

>>85063
me too nona, I really feel like the odd one out with everyone loving winter so much. painful.

Anonymous 85211

7f70099682c895918c…

>>85063
I feel you. Not only does it get dark fast but it's already so cold in the evening. I already miss being able to walk around wearing nothing but a comfy tank top and shorts.

Anonymous 85215

After experiencing this year's heatwaves in the UK I'm of the mind that if I can't comfortably wear knitwear it's too hot.

Anonymous 85228

I have to stay at my dad's place for a while and whenever I do he insists that I don't cook, but the ""meals"" he gives me are garbage, I don't understand.
Just now he gave me dinner, that was just:
>handful of cucumber slices
>handful of mushrooms
>4 chicken nuggets
>handful of pasta
Wtf? What kind of meal is this for an adult? I'm already underweight?
How does he not realise that this is a very inappropriate meal for an adult?

Anonymous 85232

>>84876
I would be your friend anon. I think it would be good for you to have friends, but I know it's easier said than done.

Anonymous 85235

>>85228
Does your dad live alone? What does he usually eat for his meals? Some adults simply can't properly feed themselves, especially men.

Anonymous 85238

20220902_223050.jp…

I want more female friends, so I added some anons from the lolcow friend finder thread but the conversations either die out or get too lengthy for me to keep up with and end up socially exhausting me.
I can only give very intimate(not sure what word to use, focused?) attention like that to two people max, my best friend and my husband.
So even though I do like all the anons I have added and conversed with, it's hard for me to find the time to take out of my day to respond to them.
I think what I'd really like is a group chat or something full of other women who I all like.
I think with group chats it's less awkward when the conversation dies out and it can be both light hearted and serious, meanwhile with one-on-one conversations I feel too awkward if I don't respond in a while and I just overall feel more pressured. It's too much to keep up with for me.

The problem is though that it's hard enough to make friends, never mind a whole bunch of them in one group chat that I all get along with and hopefully they all get along too. I don't even know where to begin searching for that or how to start it and have it not die.
I'm also not in a good position to make IRL friends right now since I'm working on moving countries by hopefully next year, so I don't want to miss anyone here or have anyone miss me.

The last time I had a proper friendship group was many years ago when I was a little weeb kid, but looking back I realise everyone from that group has grown into a horrible person. It was fun while it lasted though. Talking everyday in the group chat with them, posting about each other and other dumb shit on tumblr, etc. I'm an introverted person but the older I grow the more I realise that little friendship groups are very comforting and pleasant to me. It's a shame that they're hard to make and keep and it's a shame that I don't get along with most people.
I think lacking this in my life has made me cling onto the past too much when I did have that.
I wrote a post here sometime ago that my ideal friendship group is like the one in Higurashi's or something. I wish that I could have that. This felt good to write out.

Anonymous 85268

1565553408442.jpg

>at my bf's parents place
>see picture of bf in high school along with his classmates
>girl he used to like is there
>feel sad because she's prettier than me
>later mention it to bf
>he doesn't tell me she's not prettier, just that he hasn't spoken to her in years
Am I irrational to feel sad over this? I feel like he should've told me she's not prettier.

Anonymous 85269

The person who replied to every chapter of my fanfiction with a lengthy review and love-bombed me stopped all of a sudden and it made me not want to finish the fucking thing at all. Thanks for the support I guess. :/ I'm still going to finish it, even if it's a flaming pile of dog shit. I wish I could quit writing FF entirely and switch to original work only. I'm never posting another story unless it's 100% complete so I don't get stuck in the same loophole of checking for comments/kudos as motivation. I have more important things to focus on and being stuck in this story knowing like 2-3 people are waiting for it to be finished is stressing me tf out. Oh, and thinking about the actor/canon character of my OC's love interest makes me physically sick knowing I'll never be with him or meet him IRL. Why do I do this to myself?

inb4 fanfiction is for 12-year-olds. It is. I hate myself.

Anonymous 85303

>>85269
Why are you getting upset with them? Maybe something happened and they're not able to review anymore.

Anonymous 85306

>>85268
Lying is bad. You shouldn't.
He most likely isn't lying though and is just not interested in arguing with an insecure person who wants reassurance. Its always
"She's prettier than me."
"Nooo, noo that's not true"
"You're lying…She's prettier"
"No no no baby your the most gorgeous thing on the planet"
Etc. I don't play these games anymore, it annoys me. My mom used to do this all the time.
Or even more likely, he just didn't think of it and wasn't deliberately avoiding the topic. That also happens to me sometimes. Brain gets jumbled.

Anonymous 85307

>>85306
Also imagine getting buttblasted over something as superficial as appearence. Don't let it bother you, just stop caring about trying to be the prettiest. Idk but in ly experience my appearence would end up consuming me so its best for me personally to care as minimally as possible. As long as you aren't ugly there isn't much to worry about. Appearence matters, but people have this idea that appearence and relationship material both go up at an equal slope. Really all you need to be relationship material is decent looking, and then it sort of levels off and the benefits of having a supermodel partner aren't as profound and aren't profound enough to effect your relationship material status in a majorly significant way. Idk, the only way I can convey what I am thinking is to draw a graph but im too lazy for that atm

Anonymous 85308

I hate seeing my family fight. It stresses me out every time.

Anonymous 85333

B1850614-884A-46C0…

I wrote some sexy erotic shit about someone I know in my diary last night and I got so disgusted with myself that I got a headache and threw up this morning. At least I might not have to go to work.

Sorry about the cringe pic but it fits

Anonymous 85334

>>85268
>expecting moids to be considerate
NGMI

Anonymous 85336

>>85303

That would be the best case scenario and understandable, but my mind immediately jumps to 'they lost interest and no longer care'. It happens all the time. I've done it to authors, too, and it sucks. It's devastating when readers who have been with you for most of the story fall off and you never hear from them again. Nothing I can do now. Lesson learned. I'm never posting a work again unless it's finished, that way I can focus on the writing without distraction. Plus, you never know when you need to go back and change something until it's too late…

Anonymous 85348

>>83058
I just god damn mother fucking hate moids more than anything I swear

Anonymous 85350

Screenshot_16h.jpg

been in front of my monitor for 14+ hours now. i feel like shit but i cant get up. i desperately want to go outside and get some sun but im tired and ill get blinded bc its sooo sunny. how can i stop this cycle.

Anonymous 85384

It's been 4 days, I think I'm never going to get a reply back, and that's how this ends. I'll update if it happens. I should go to sleep. Goodnight nonas

Anonymous 85419

I feel so fucking sad and lonely I want to die.

Anonymous 85428

There's a girl on twitter that I want to befriend but I'm too shy to message her, especially because I'm not open about being a woman online and she seems to only want female friends, which I totally get.
I just don't know how to signal to her that I'd like to try being friends… simply just telling her straightforwardly makes me far too shy and afraid of rejection

Anonymous 85430

>>85333
Went to work and had a good day :D

Anonymous 85432

>>85419
Me too. I love u anon.

Anonymous 85437

Shrinkflation in regards to bread in particular is really pissing me off. Might ask for a bread maker for my birthday.

Anonymous 85440

>>85419
What's wrong, nona?
>>85428
Any reason you wanna befriend her? Do you have interests in common? Maybe you can write her something about you sharing interests and you thinking it's really cool, about how you like something she posts and how you think it would be cool for you to chat sometimes, something like this

Anonymous 85444

holy fuck i just saw the "bum" scene from Mulholland Drive and my heart is still beating. Scariest shit i've ever seen

Anonymous 85448

>>85444
Huh? Can you elaborate? I wanna watch that movie but I’m too lazy.

Anonymous 85451

I want a bf I nickname "Squirt". Not a sex thing in case you were wondering (you were).

Anonymous 85452

>>85451
Normalize casually calling moids ‘squirt’

Anonymous 85454

Chew my finger to the purple color, left some bruises and now feeling a bit better. Never understood the appeal of cutting, it is pretty obvious and leaves negative impression. But everyone is ignorant enough to be fooled by "ooh, just bumped into the door in the morning, haha, so clumsy when sleepy" lie.

Anonymous 85482

I'm underweight because I can't afford proper meals and other personal reasons that I hate having to explain to anyone who hasnt been in my situation. It happened a while ago but the girl who I thought was my best friend ended our friendship over me being skinny. She kept on insisting that I had an eating disorder and wouldn't listen to me when I told her to stop. I'm not like this because I want to be. What happened to not talking about people's weights. Ever since that I've been terribly insecure over my body. As if I didn't know I was a skeleton freak already. Why point it out. And I hate having to explain to people why I am this way because it's fucking embarrassing. I wish people would just mind their own business or if they really cared then make me a damn meal.

Anonymous 85483

Sometimes I feel like so many women have spent so long acting stupid for moids and trying to cultivate a cute persona for themselves, that they’ve genuinely forgotten how to talk intelligently. It’s depressing. I just want to have a conversation with another woman that talks like a grown adult and isn’t constantly trying to seem cute, meek and harmless or ‘feminine’ and isn’t constantly spamming cutesy emojis and kisses rather than sentences. Yes call me an autistic pickme all you want, I am tired of women who act 5.

Anonymous 85486

Yowza this is truly evolving from a parasocial crush to just a social crush. Losing my mind a little and my avoidant attachment is rattling its cage to escape. Even the intimacy of friendship frightens me as if I were a mouse running from a cat.

Hopefully I can maintain my drive and wield my unfounded confidence in order to dm her at some point.

>>85451
>>85452
I will now call my manlet male friend "squirt" the next time I encounter him, thanks anons.
"Kiddo" and "champ" are also in the arsenal.

Anonymous 85487

It's been more than a year and I still think about him.
It's not crippling, I don't bawl in my sleep and I did find someone else… but I feel the way he hurt me is kind of permanent.
I didn't need to be anything but friends with him and yet over something so stupid he overreacted and rejected so much I just can't get it over my heart.
I'm fine but I used to be much more than fine, I had won a giant free cake but it fell from my hands after only a few bites.
I don't know if I should still indulge in these type of thoughts, remembering the good times alongside the bad or if I should just try my best to purge everything I felt and thought.
I feel warm and fuzzy thinking back about it but also so much pain knowing I can't go back and knowing even if he came back apologizing for how he treated me (he won't) I should still not accept.

It was different, until it wasn't, I'm just having a hard time taking the L.

Anonymous 85503


Anonymous 85505

I think I suffer from some sort of body dysmorphia. It's really intense for me sometimes. It feels retarded that I even care so much about the way that I look, that I've spent so much money on cosmetics, so much energy on dieting and working out, and it feels irrational at this point because I've done as much "glowing up" as I could possibly do without surgery, I get complimented on my looks almost any time I fucking leave the house which is everything I could have ever asked for. What's my problem, why isn't it enough?

Anonymous 85508

been thinking about suicide and planning it out, I want to finish my college degree first then I will probably burn through my savings traveling for a bit and that'll be the end for me
there will never be anyone in this world who genuinely cares about me and doesn't end up eventually ditching me so once I do the stuff on my bucket list I think I'll be ready to move onto the next life and there'll be nothing keeping me from doing so

Anonymous 85513

>>85508
There is no "next life". You will be laying in darkness and silence until you get bored and go insane, except this time even suicide is not an option. Forever, without escape, only you and painful thoughts.

Anonymous 85527

I’ve been experiencing extreme deja vu very frequently as of late and it terrifies me. Dreams I had months ago have been becoming reality and it scares me.

Anonymous 85528

>>85513
How would she be conscious or able to think if her brain is dead and isn’t transmitting signals anymore?

Anonymous 85530

>>85513
>there's no next life
>but you will live in darkness and suffer for eternity like one would if they were alive
Lol ok.

Anonymous 85540

imdone.gif

>interesting thread pops up on an imageboard
>i try to keep the discussion alive with spamming random things related to the subject once in a while
>i stay away from imageboards for a few hours
>suddenly i come up with a question regarding the subject matter
>i open the thread
>"thread archived. You can not reply anymore"
Oh well, it was fun while it lasted

Anonymous 85542

I realized I'm addicted to gossip/drama sites. I recently posted hate comments about someone I know (niche online community) AND THEN I SENT IT TO THEM just to make more drama. I don't even hate them, they have only been nice to me. I realized I was being crazy and apologized for sending it to them, and blocked the site so I never go back. I don't think they know it was my posts. It's the first time I ever did something like that. I felt so guilty I could barely eat or sleep. Are there like support groups for drama addicts? I don't know how to stop myself from doing it again.

Anonymous 85551

>>85542
IRL drama is way more engaging and distracting. Will keep you off the online stuff. Suggest your larents get a divorce and see where things lead.

Anonymous 85552

>>83061
it filled up obviously

Anonymous 85553

>>85542
I never posted drama but I did use to lurk alot on lolcow, pull and drama-oriented tumblr blogs. As far as I know there isn't any support groups but it wouldn't surprise me if there is.
I became aware of how wild alot of the things where and stopped trying to justify it to myself(I used to think stuff like "oh they are objectively a bad person so it's morally right that people make fun of them). Then I just stop visiting those sites. And I remade my tumblr to an aesthetic blog so I wouldn't risk getting drama on my dash.
I think it's a good idea that you have blocked the sites otherwise I don't think there is much you can do. Try taking a break from the internet for a while

Anonymous 85570

I just watched half of American Beauty and it made me so depressed. I had a good weekend and I have a good life now but watching that movie took me right back to being 17, in a terrible family situtation, drunk and sobbing at my mom's house after seeing it for the first time, so depressed and not truly understanding my own depression and the depressing message of the film. I understand the movie much better now as an adult and the subject matter itself is harrowingly sad but I'm really taken aback by how terrible I feel. I feel like I stepped into a terrible time machine. It sucks because I appreciate the film and the story but I can't finish it because of my own baggage associated with it.

Anonymous 85576

>>85570
What is the message of the film and why is it sad? I saw that movie a few years back and just found it cringe and dumb.

Anonymous 85596

I want to die and be with my family. They died when I was a kid, mum, dad, sisters. Specifically I want to be with my mum and sisters because of the circumstances. I feel so fucking alone. No friends, I literally haven't had friends since I was in primary school as a literal child, and even then it was only one girl who was pretty much forced to be friends with me. I love my remaining family but it's not enough to keep me alive. That sounds terrible but, every single day something will trigger this feeling in me, I feel disgusted and scared almost, like a homesick child type feeling. It's hard to describe but I can't deal with it. I get it from such random things and I can only get rid of it by cleaning and showering. I can't interact with other people without getting that feeling, only my close family (3 people) don't give me that feeling. All I have is video games and other medias. Nothing else in my life. I can't stick it out any longer. I want to be in my mother's arms and I want to feel at peace and at home

Anonymous 85599

My dad keeps forgetting to flush his shit
I fucking hate him and living with him
As soon as I can, I'm abandoning him. I won't care if he dies alone. He'll only have himself to blame for being a bad father.

Anonymous 85600

>>85596
I’m really sorry you went through that nona. I really feel for people who lost close loved ones as babies or children or were orphaned. You’re in my prayers.

Anonymous 85603

>>85600
Thank you for your kindness. It means a lot

Anonymous 85622

>>83058
I have to re-take my driver's test tomorrow. It will be my fourth time trying it, my third time in the past month alone. I feel so immature being 22 and not being able to drive (plus living at home, in 6th year of college, never had a bf, etc. etc.). The worst part is that the center for the test is a few towns over and every time my mom drives me home I absolutely bawl for the whole hour long car ride because I feel pathetic for failing, and then cry at home because I feel pathetic for crying because of the test. My legs gave out last time that the tester told me that I failed in the parking lot and now he must think I'm unstable. He didn't even offer to help me up or ask if I was ok. I hope he goes to hell.

Anonymous 85624

950th-drivers-test…

>>85622
Nona, it took me 5 or 6 times behind the wheel when I was in my mid 20s. I believe in you! If this woman didn't give up, you shouldn't either.

Anonymous 85626

>>85624
Thank you nona, this made me feel better. I love her smile lol

Anonymous 85627

>>85624
what the absolute fuck is wrong with her? is she braindead?

>spending 4200 dollars on driving test applications


why not just hire a driving teacher, go to a driving class, etc etc? what the hell happened here?

Anonymous 85628

>>85625
>>85627
>Written test
Given the State of SK a few decades ago, I'm guessing she might have literacy issues. Or stress issues. At least she persevered.

Anonymous 85631

I don't have many friends in college so every time I see people hang out with their friends and talking normally makes me feel left out, doesn't help that my interpersonal skills are deteriorating.

Anonymous 85635

Jackie.png

I stopped smoking because my bf said it was a dealbreaker and honestly I'm so fucking tired of it. He says he "doesn't like the smell" ok then I'm just going to smoke outside you big baby.
"It's unhealthy" Ok and? Not everyone cares about being 100% healthy, I certainly don't.
I don't want to throw my relationship away just to have a smoke but honestly I'm a grown adult now and I should be able to take my own decisions.
It's specially taxing after we argue and spend some time apart and I just want a smoke to calm the fuck down but I fucking can't because I'm basically trapped in this relationship. Living abroad 10 000km away from home & family, no money, don't speak the language, completely dependant on him, etc.
I trapped myself in a hole and I can't get out.

>inb4 someone gives me shit about wanting to smoke, or 'he should leave you blablabla'

fuck right off.

Anonymous 85637

>>85635
Spoken like a true addict

Anonymous 85639

Spoiler

>>85635
>I'm a grown adult now and I should be able to take my own decisions.
Just like your bf is a grown adult and can have dealbreakers about the people he wants to date. I wouldn't want to date someone who has an addiction to ingesting cancer and spreading it around. Find someone who's okay with your deadly drug addiction.
Enjoy your future throat hole and remember to cover it up when you shower!

Anonymous 85640

>>85639
lol stop overreacting, tard.

Anonymous 85641

>>85635
> I fucking can't because I'm basically trapped in this relationship. Living abroad 10 000km away from home & family, no money, don't speak the language, completely dependant on him, etc.
I trapped myself in a hole and I can't get out.
You can get out , don't give up hope. It won't be easy but you could try to learn the language and make some friends there to feel less dependent on solely him. And could try other stress relievers too, not sure what would work for you.

Anonymous 85642

>>85641
Thanks for being kind. I know I was aggressive on my post but this is the vent thread after all and I'm just feeling very frustrated after arguing with him.

Anonymous 85643

>>85635
I'm sorry nona but a relationship is made of compromises and you have an addiction your significant other doesn't approve.
>trapped myself into a hole
Why? Don't you have a job? Is he the one paying for the smokes? I feel someone caring about your health should be something one could be happy about.

Anonymous 85654

>>85635
You shouldn’t change yourself for men. It only leads to more controlling behavior from them later on. Find yourself a smoker Chad bf and dump that annoying moralfag.

Anonymous 85658

>>85639
Do you think she can blow smoke out of that hole lol. Kinda cool.

Anonymous 85659

I finally meet a guy I could see starting a family with, and I find out he's donated sperm. He says he has 3 children, but those are just the ones he knows about. I feel so fucking sick and just want to erase the last year of my life.

Anonymous 85660

>>85659
what is wrong about helping people who can't have children realize their dream? you are a complete schizo.

Anonymous 85680

>>85631
i feel that. on campus i sit by myself and do homework or browse on here. i don’t have any patience for anyone on campus at the same time though.

Anonymous 85682

I can only come if I'm on top and it makes me so frustrated. I hate that if I want to come when he's on top I have to touch myself to make it happen, and even then I usually can't and just fake it. He never makes me come, I'm always the one to make it happen, meanwhile I can make him come just fine. If we take a break for several days it's easier for me but he wants it alll the time and I often find myself trying to get out of it. Ugh

Anonymous 85689

>>85682
What is different about you being on top? I'm guessing you brush more against him, maybe try with a dick ring?

Anonymous 85690

>>85682
Maybe radfems were right. Most women can’t seem to orgasm without clit stim, it’s like men are just brainwashing us into enjoying PIV by forcing clit stim on top of it.

Anonymous 85705

>>85689
I can control the rhythm and I also press against him more with my clit, so it's not all that hard to come that way. Meanwhile with him on top it's just… a lot less precise is the best way I can put it. I always feel like it's super straightforward for him, like his dick just goes into a warm place nd he feels good regardless of any of the factors that affect how pleasurable it is for me, and he can pretty much come as soon as he decides to and expects it to be like that for me, too. But foreplay, position, angle, speed, especially clitoral stimulation etc etc etc all make a huge difference for me and he just doesn't get it. Like he really does NOT understand foreplay :'( And we're not at all interested in anything like a dick ring either so we just need to fix our techniques and stuff.

Anonymous 85712

>>85705
Get out Stacy sex haver reeeee

Anonymous 85726

>>85705
>But foreplay, position, angle, speed, especially clitoral stimulation etc etc etc all make a huge difference for me
sucks to be an orgasmlet, I can do it pretty easily with my bf about 90% of the time

Anonymous 85734

324567.webm

I keep making friends that are way smarter and more interesting than me. I don't know how it happens but it does and it's a terrible feeling being their dumb friend. I don't understand why they like being my friend. We're at that stage of life where your living situation is reflective of how smart you are and the stark contrast between us couldn't be more obvious. I'm a wagie and will probably end up a wagie my entire life because college is expensive and I just don't have the smarts for it so will never graduate. I'm afraid I'll be left behind and abandoned but at the same time maybe that's what would make me stop feeling miserable.

Anonymous 85737

I took some probiotics last month and I literally cannot stop farting since. I’m sitting here blowing out a litre of air an hour from my ass. In a way it’s kind of nice because it feels like the cute little bacteria are helping me break down my food better and releasing all these gases. But holy shit this is gnarly.

Anonymous 85745

>>85737
this happens to me whenever i eat kale. like the farts are unstoppable and they smell so bad. they sometimes frighten me

Anonymous 85747

>>85635
>>85654
I made my bf stop smoking because it was gross. Smokers have gross teeth and age badly and smell bad. I think it's a reasonable deal breaker, since non-smokers can do better than smokers

Anonymous 85748

>>85639
based. why do smokers not recognize how undesirable they are? like people have no problem shitting on people being fat but smoking is way grosser - their teeth are fucking nasty

Anonymous 85749

>>85654
This. In fact, go find 10 chad smokers and date all of them at once. Take as many smokers out of the dating pool as you possibly can.

Anonymous 85754

>>85749
yeah - if other smokers won't do it then no one will

Anonymous 85756

Does it mean I don’t really want to break up if I announce it? It’s becoming a pattern, where I’m convinced I want to break up and explain why, just to have myself talked out of it.

Anonymous 85758

>>85756
I did that too in the first year of my relationship but never went through with it. Then we dated another year and I am so happy I didn't follow through with it. We're married now with a kid and breaking up would've been probably the stupidest possible move I could've ever made.

Anonymous 85759

>>85749
No, she should go forth and multiply with 10
Chad smokers, have each one sire a child, and smoke throughout the pregnancies too.

Anonymous 85761

>>85758
Did he talk you out of it too? So happy for you though

Anonymous 85762

Is it bad I get off on the idea of tranny/moid lurkers reading our radfem posts and getting angry and upset about it

Anonymous 85763

>>85762
Like horny? it's a little weird

Anonymous 85764

>>85763
I don’t think it’s weird at all

Anonymous 85767

>>85745
Kale makes me feel fucking terrible, I think it’s a certain compound in it that affects me negatively. I still can’t stop farting.

Anonymous 85770

Think I’m gonna leave this board for good desu. Used to be a kind, comfy board with way less negativity and toxicity than other boards, for the past year every thread descends into a flamewar and weird libfem vs radfem rage debate, can’t post anything in feels without some unhinged anon attacking you for no reason, and it’s so annoying. This board is no longer comfy and some new users have really ruined it. Thanks to all the cool miners who were chill and just wanted to post and talk about comfy things in peace.

Anonymous 85771

>>85770
If all the nice people leave, it will only get worse.

But I also understand not wanting to spend time in a place that doesn't make you happy.

Anonymous 85772

>>85771
NTA but honestly feel like the board should be split in two and there should be an evil cc vs good cc where the aggro nonas who just want to rage and debate and vent anger go to the dark or evil cc and then a light good board where nonas who just wanna talk about nice things go to post

I know the board already has sub boards similar to this but the threads become such a mishmash of cute/niceness/innocence and trolling/negativity/aggro and it’s kind of mentally exhausting and schizo inducing to wade through

Also think mods and jannies should have rlly strict rules for the separate boards and ban anyone that tries to start fights in the nice board

Anonymous 85774

every single one of my interactions with moids is deeply unpleasant and uncomfortable, and that’s saying something since I have to deal with dozens of them a day

starting to think male energy is cursed and downright evil, like moids are demons in human form, I feel a deeply evil presence emanating from every man I encounter and even notice most of them have a slight rotten smell like sulphur/hell

Anonymous 85777

I WISH ALL MOIDS WOULD DIE

Anonymous 85779

>>85774
>I feel a deeply evil presence emanating from every man I encounter and even notice most of them have a slight rotten smell like sulphur/hell
That’s just the scent of all the skidmarks on their undies wafting through the air. Men do not wash their asses and they walk around all day with shit leaking out of their rectums.

Anonymous 85790

>>85779
>skidmarks on their undies wafting through the air
I feel bad for nonas living in countries without bidets.

Anonymous 85791

It still happens. I still just occasionally, after all these years, start immitating a Crystal Castles melody without even thinking from time to time.

Ethan Kath delenda est.

85799

I take any opportunity i can to make moids hate themselves. I feel it’s my duty to drive them to suicide. Crushing any will they have to live is my favorite pass-time.

Anonymous 85800

>>85799
>>85777
Are these the kind of bait posts some anon was talking about on /meta/?

Anonymous 85801

I was in the bus, on my way home. It wasn't pretty crowded at first but at one particular stop a fuck ton of old, disgusting moids got on. All the seats were full, except for the one next to me and the window on which I put bag and stuff. One of the pigs came to me and DEMANDED me to move to that seat so he can sit. Next to me. Which I find really uncomfortable. I said no and he was clearly confused. Then I gave him both the seats and stood until home. You see, there was a lot of young, clearly healty moids sitting but none of them cared, and no one asked them to move. God I fucking hate men and their entitlement and their massive fucking egos…

Anonymous 85806

I fucking hate male healthcare professionals. They're literally the ones who make constant mistakes and are too egotistical to admit when theyre wrong. They also dismiss any problems women have as in their heads because they're misogynstic moidmonkeys.

Anonymous 85807

>>85800
they seem like it tbh

Anonymous 85808

>>85770
best way to keep this board nice is to ignore all that but yeah i understand especially if it's mentally draining

Anonymous 85824

>>85770
I’m leaving because this board is full of bitchy holier than thou femcels who do nothing but whine and talk about moids 24/7

Anonymous 85825

>>85486
You might try trowing "sport" in as a mix up.


>>85767
>>85745
Leafy greens are simply not very digestible in general. I really can't see why ruminant fodder should be consumed.

Anonymous 85856

image.png

Recently I can't sleep well. I've been trying to drink a warm glass of milk at night to help me sleep and I think it might be working, but hopefully it's not just some kind of placebo. What other lifehacks to get to sleep could I use?

Anonymous 85859

8b6548b55a5747b1cf…

I just turned 22 and I've officially stopped caring about the fact that I'll never be in a relationship (which might all be a cope because I continue to idealize relationships and daydream about being in one). I'm graduating college soon with a degree in computer engineering I plan on moving to New England and working from home I always dreamed of being a mom and I can't fight that urge but it would weigh heavy on my conscious to seek a sperm donor and cursing a child with my genes maybe I'll adopt one day

Anonymous 85865

>>85799
Keep doing the lord’s work.

Anonymous 85895

tumblr_b380b6a536e…

This is literally me and I can't say I feel bad about it actually. Like yeah im a creep im a weirdo blahblah who cares

Anonymous 85896

>>85895
kek are you autistic by any chance? this will scare away any person with common sense

Anonymous 85898

>>85856
birth control was the only thing that fixed my insomnia. I tried 5 prescription sleep medications, 5htp, st johns wort, valerian, hops, passionflower, warm milk, and sLeEp hYgIeNe and only birth control worked.

Anonymous 85899

>>85859
I'm going the sperm donor route. You'll probably meet lots of extremely low value men if you're in computer engineering, so don't fall into the trap of settling for someone so you can have a kid only to have them abandon both of you or project their pornsick tendencies onto their family. A sperm donor is better than that.

Anonymous 85900

>>85895
LMAO there is no way this is real. why nona? you obviously weren't actually in love with this stranger

Anonymous 85902

>>85895
I'm sorry but unless you're a teenager, there's no excuse for this behaviour lol

Anonymous 85910

>>85903
“Guess what, I’m a moid” Die

Anonymous 85913

0qfjtp450um91.jpg

Venting here again since there's much need.
I'm lonely and friendless but also love my job. At least few times a week, some guys come to my office (each one separately) and talk about vague work-related stuff or just ask how are things and stay for a while for no reason.
Now, I don't know if they do it out of pity, are interested in talking to me, interested in someone else in my office, just friendly people, aaaaaaah.
I just want someone to hug me daily, and I try to be nice, but why can't any of them ask me to go out or fuck off.

Anonymous 85914

>>85899
Gotta make sure you get a donor who is physically good looking as well as healthy and smart. Outer beauty is often an indicator of good genes.

Anonymous 85915

>>85903
ew kys

Anonymous 85925

tumblr_7f33d2216cc…

hehe my dms have been on delivered for 17 hours. what a sleepyhead! :3

Anonymous 85950

>>85925
Stop chasing avoidant attachment style moids.

Anonymous 85959

>>85899
I'm not worried about it much because too ugly for that to happen anyways plus I have a mild case of agoraphobia and plan on working from home so I won't be out much. I would go the sperm donor route too but I'd feel awful if they looked like me

Anonymous 85962

>>85959
Have you thought about adopting instead of you don’t want your kid to inherit your traits?

Anonymous 85969

>>85962
thats what I plan on doing, adopting when I'm in a good place financially although I'm not sure how it would look as a single 23/24 year old

Anonymous 85972

>>85969
Afaik it’s pretty straightforward for single women to adopt, it’s hard and sometimes impossible for single men to adopt but that’s because they’re at highest risk of abusing the child unfortunately. I think adopting in America is easy as a single woman but I’ve heard certain Slavic countries only allow two parents to adopt. There’s usually a longer and sometimes more expensive adoption process for girls too, because unfortunately they’re also at highest risk of being sexually abused by adoptive fathers.

Anonymous 85977

sometimes I feel so fucking autistic when it comes to men and I feel like I should just give up any hope of ever finding love tbh

Anonymous 85980

>>85978
I don't want to. I want to make the marriage system obsolete. The desire for lusty love is a byproduct of trauma and personal inferiority

Anonymous 85989

>>85980
Well then in that case you WILL only if you want

Anonymous 86001

>>85660
I want his children to be mine, not to just be another at the back of the queue.

Anonymous 86003

I hate when people hate on people's looks over things they can't control.
Especially when it's women towards other women. We only move backwards.
I've seen a lot of women shame flat women lately, as if they chose to he that way. There's nothing wrong with being flat.
Why does every woman have to have big tits.
I hate these people they piss me off so much leave flat girls alone.

Anonymous 86015

>>86014
they sell these window decal things you can put on your windows that helps birds recognize that there's a solid object there.

https://windowalert.com/

Anonymous 86017

images (1) (6).jpe…

This bird flew into a window at work and KO'd.. ive been caring for her until today. She died! I took her home in a box.. gave her water. When she came around she sat in the road like a zombie, when I tried to let her go…. so Overnight I took her to my job. I caught bugs for her. She ate a ton. Obliterated all the huge crickets i found for her. (At my job theres a cricket invasion.) Wwll today she just up and died after I put her in a better enclosure. I'm so depressed. But also kind of unsurprised of course this would happen to me !! Picrel is exactly what she looked like, she was a yellowthroat warbler. I've NEVER seen birds like her around here. I just want to die. She was just hopping around her enclosure like crazy, then poof gone, she was so beautiful. How could she just die?! Everything i read about window collision birds said they should come around T<T

Anonymous 86018

>>86015
Sorry I rewrote it it sounded incomplete. Thanks for this, I wonder if my boss will let me put them up. I wish I was religious so I could say a prayer for the bird but I'm not, and I've got nothing. She's just dead. I wonder if I hurried her demise.. SHE WAS SO ACTIVE what the f??? Did I stress her by putting her in a glass enclosure? T<T I don't know

Anonymous 86019

>>85969
don't feel bad about being single in your mid 20s, nona, you're not someone who has to be used up to be a good mother

Anonymous 86020

1655482377353.gif

>>83530
I regret not moving in with my cousins years ago when my parents offered us to all move into a single family home. My cousins were always the closest things I had to sisters but I was scared about losing my friends at the elementary school I was in.
They wound up all ghosting me anyways; I just wish I could go back in time and tell myself it would be okay

Anonymous 86021

>>86017
It's not your fault, anon. Maybe the collision was worse than it looked like or she had another health issue.
It was kind of you to care for her and you gave her a few good days before she passed away.

Anonymous 86027

My dad is back on his heavy handed hinting that I should find a boyfriend, telling me how I'm such a lovely lady, and I should go to more local events to meet someone. I'd probably be married and have a "normal" life by now had my mom not singled me out from my sisters to verbally abuse relentlessly as a child to the point that I cannot fathom entering a romantic relationship, as I view myself as utter garbage and undeserving of love. On the flip side, I am a relatively normal person when you remove love and romance from the equation. A bit on the avoidant side, but I am working on getting over that.

Anonymous 86072

Tumblr_l_714903478…

my friend group are absolutely so sick of me now and didnt give a shit about me almost killing myself which led to me deleting every social media and just focusing on irl stuff. i was also put into some intensive therapy program due to the amount of times ive been admitted to the psych ward and it is a little helpful with meeting other women in my age group who are also going through tough situations.

Anonymous 86074

I hate when I accidentally pick a bad movie for my comfy Friday/Saturday movie night and I have to turn it off halfway. I get pissed off and it ruins the whole vibe of my night.

Anonymous 86152

my long term bf broke up with me out of nowhere today and I've been violently crying all day and thinking about him nonstop to the point I feel sick
in my mind running on a loop is memories of us holding hands, cuddling, laughing and joking together, hanging out and watching movies and playing video games… I keep staring at his username and messages to me and listening to old voicemails he left me…
I feel like I'm being eaten away from the inside and I'll never be able to get over him
even though he ignored my last message to him he hasn't blocked me yet so I'm holding out hope he'll change his mind and try and work things out with me
worst of all is he wouldn't even give me a solid reason why he wants to break up - he keeps being vague saying I irritate him or he has issues with me or I annoy him and when I asked him to specify since I'm willing to work on myself and change he won't give me a real answer plus just days before this he was talking about moving in together and is always mentioning marriage and our future together
the pain of losing him is unbearable

Anonymous 86154

I really hate the cosmetics industry and how it creates this retarded toxic unnecessary competition between women.

Everyone keeps talking about how it’s good women are moving away from heavier makeup that was around in 2016-2017.

But all I see is that it’s moved from ‘buy 15 different heavy products that cost 40 bucks each and cake your face in them’ to ‘buy 15 jars of skincare products that cost 50-150 bucks each AND 15 light makeup products that cost 40 bucks each, just to make it look like you’re not wearing anything at all’. It’s still so consumerist and disgusting and I hate it.

Anonymous 86155

>>86152
i am sorry for you

Anonymous 86158


Anonymous 86163

>>86152
I wonder what he's hiding…. Never in my life have I ever gotten that emotionally invested in a guy. Just know it is possible to feel really happy without that kind of gyy involvement. I never feel attraction to anybody, but God my life is simple and fun and peaceful. I wonder if you kinda forgot the other half of your mind exists. Try to reconnect with it and yourself, he doesn't seem worth beating yourself up over if he would do that !

Anonymous 86164

BF5F6707-E83D-4662…

very long retard rant srry

I have been very fucking paranoid about the concept of death recently. It could happen out of fucking no where and then I’m just gone? Will anyone remember me? Will I be reincarnated and my soul just forgets my old life? Is there a hell? My grandma is going to get surgery for her shoulder and I’m very fucking scared she’ll die on me. She is a Puerto Rican women that has trouble speaking English and I’ve been trying to learn Spanish but it’s not enough to have a full conversation yet. I wish my mother would’ve fucking taught me when I was younger but since she said I was autistic and going to school for speech she didn’t want to “put anymore stress on my brain” I want to kms. What the fuck is going to happen to me in 60 years and what are the new trends gonna be? Am I going to be a fucking failure? Will I get addicted to drugs? Will I get married and have kids? Am I gay? What the fuck is this life. I wish I had brown skin and a flat nose so I’d won’t look so white and ugly and people would clock me as Hispanic. I look at my other family members and I get jealous sometimes because I don’t look like them.

Anonymous 86167

1642373115706.jpg

>>86164
whenever I get anxious about death I just think about how the molecules that make up my body arent mine, I'm just borrowing them for my time, then when I die they'll get passed onto whatever organism uses them next
I eat plants and animals to grow, then when I die worms will eat my body, then a bird will eat the worm and feed it to its babies
the molecules that make up my body passed from me to a worm to a baby bird that gets to grow up and fly around free with the molecules that used to be mine, and before they were mine they belonged to cows, chickens, plants and its all just one big cycle of passing on our molecules since the beginning of time until the end of time, it comforts me knowing that even though I may die, a part of me will continue to live on in this world and in some way I'll never really leave, just change form
About your race, I'm actually in kind of a similar position, I'm half white, half puerto rican and I never really liked how I looked because I'm not quite white but not quite hispanic either, so I feel like I've always stood out and looked strange like some kind of weird mutt

Anonymous 86174

>>86163
I know it's over and I need to forget him but I can't stop obsessing over him remembering all the good times we had and he was my support system, it just hurts and there is nobody to comfort me or help me through this

Anonymous 86186

>>86174
same anon I asked him "why haven't you unadded me yet" hoping he'd block me or something so I can stop staring at his fucking username and he went online (saw the message) and immediately went offline again
why? why does he want me on his friends list able to contact him if he's done with me? it's making things worse for me…

Anonymous 86191

Lately the world has been feeling very bizarre for me. I think i’m experiencing disassociation or something, nothing feels real, i don’t derive enjoyment from anything anymore. Nothing comes easy. I’ve struggled with extreme anxiety for years and i think it sucked the life out of me. There’s so much layers of the onion lol… there’s a lot of shit to unpack with me but no one’s wiling to listen. I genuinely can’t see the good in people, and i’m aware it’s my own projection because of my own guilt and self hatred. But also i never met someone who isn’t self interested either. So i don’t know which is causing this… i’m so lost anons. I’m a fucking retard

Anonymous 86193

My God, but I am a mental cripple. It started with nervousness turned into chronic anxiety, and my smooth brain chose the dopamine rush of social media and the quiet comfort of procrastination to cope. 5 years later and I can barely do ANYTHING unless it is absolutely the last fucking minute. I need to be lobotomized and hidden away for good. How will I function in society? I am not able bodied. There's nothing physically stopping me from starting the task sooner, but my brain is so impossibly retarded.
I mean, I am BORED browsing 4chan or tiktok or whatever, but I somehow prefer the tedium to getting up and doing what I need to do. Why am I like this. Why. Why. Why. I almost killed myself once because I kept putting off something monumental, a matter of life and death, and THAT tore me up the ass. I should have taken a bigger dosage of Benzos. Who am I kidding, no one dies from a Benzos OD.
Please. Just open the fucking document and write. Please. It doesn't matter if you progress at a slug's pace. Please. Stop with the pity party and write. Please write. Please stop and write. Please stop getting intrusive regrets now. Just write. You stupid, worthless, low-life, fucking scummy worm. FINISH THE REPORT YOU FUCKING CUNT.

Anonymous 86195

>>86164
If you’ve ever fainted, I think death is similar. Whoozy feeling, then lights out, and unconscious. It’s really not that scary.

Anonymous 86198

been trying to lose weight, basically approaching my late 20's and tired of being fat and unable to do basic shit like go up stairs without being tired. been going well so far and I just started a running routine. starting off with that to give a little context for my complaint: I keep seeing so many memes and also keep hearing friends and peers talk about how they're "getting old" and will joke about like, their knees hurting, feeling sore after waking up, etc. that sore of thing. even at my fattest I didn't really feel that way save for my knees but that was clearly connected to my weight.

recently I met with a friend who, walked with me about 20 minutes, about a 1 mile walk, and by the end she was getting desperate to sit down. she is not super thin but she isn't even as fat as me…a few days later I met up with another friend who complained about a pair of jeans fitting much tighter and then later complained about how she had to move some chairs from indoors to outdoors and she was huffing and puffing and said "this is what it's like getting old" and suddenly it dawned on me: sure, I get that aging will have some effect on the body here and there, but I was thinking there's no way otherwise "healthy" mid to late 20 somethings should be struggling in this way, esp when they aren't even morbidly obese.

then I realized; it's cuz everyone has these horrible habits. both are sedentary, smoke weed, are on some psychiatric drugs that def cause weight gain, and don't have the best diets either - one of them often will opt for high calorie fast food when they're hungry. goddamn. you're not getting old, just lazy and/or a victim of your meds. on top of that I think it's otherwise people just being dramatic…as I said I get that we're not spring chickens but like, come on, we're not THAT old…I just get the feeling from some people that they get this "welp I'm old now" in their head and just give up on putting effort into things.

Anonymous 86205

just realized this board is always extra dead on weekends because nonas are out on dates, socializing with friends or having sex with their bfs. bunch of stacy fakecels. why are there no trucel bio women left on this board >:(

Anonymous 86224

I don’t know how to feel about the behavior of mentally ill people. I knew someone that would blurt out kinda rude and mean things if they felt slighted in some way over something trivial, but then say they’re just stressed out and to not take it personally. They have issues with mood regulation obviously

Anonymous 86307

I want friends

Anonymous 86315

>>86017
Birds have brittle bones and can get organ ruptures fairly easily. If the bird was sitting around like a zombie, it probably means it was just sitting around in pain. You gave that bird proper care and made its last days be spent well fed and cared for: produ of you nona.

Anonymous 86320

Anyone else used to be a very happy joyous emotional extrovert as a kid/teen, then slowly got worn down by life and people and became a jaded numb shutin? Sometimes I don’t even recognize myself.

Anonymous 86321

>>86017
you can get little decals to put on your windows that let birds recognize that there's a surface there. they help prevent bird collisions in the future.

Anonymous 86322

I’m tired of people thinking I’m an idiot because I have a very hard time paying attention and remembering shit. People will literally treat me like a sped because of it. It’s fucking awful.

Anonymous 86323

>>86152
how long did you date nona? breakups can be really hard. I've only had one and it was out of a 6 year relationship - dumper had Avpd and dumped me out of the blue and ghosted after buying a house together. it was the hardest thing I ever went through but as long as you don't kill yourself you'll inevitably get over it, regardless of whether you try to manage the breakup productively or just wallow in it. it took me 6 months to become functional again (i.e. no more looping memories, dreams, sentimentality etc.)

Mine blocked me ~6 months into NC I think. Then he unblocked and reblocked me a year in. Never reached out thankfully. Getting over the hope of them reaching out to you is the longest struggle I think. In the end you'll just have anger left over.

Dating someone else helped me get over it faster than anything else.

Anonymous 86324

>>86154
yep, it is. I've ever heard nonas on here say that wearing minimal makeup = wearing no makeup, like they can't even fathom that a woman might do what every sane (or at least as sane as moids can get) man does and just not wear anything at all (no, not even sunscreen gasp).

there's nothing more satisfying than a bathroom with barely any shower products and nothing on the counter other than toothpaste.

Anonymous 86325

I hate my brother's girlfriend. He no longer pays me attention.

Anonymous 86326

>>86198
I have hypermobile EDS and I have spinal arthritis despite being 26. I'm not overweight and I walk every day and do resistance training and none of it made a difference. Sometimes bad genes are just bad genes.

Anonymous 86327

>>86325
That's strangely incesty nona.

Anonymous 86328

I want to fuck my professor and I’m feeling so much shame about it because he’s just a nerdy biologist in his 40s. Still has a better personality than all of the scrotes my age. Fuck this, and fuck my father abandonment issues.

Anonymous 86330

>>86327
Not like that. Before she came along, I had people to talk to and hang out, now I don't.

Anonymous 86333

>>86324
The current extreme obsession with skincare, youth and looking younger is super creepy and slightly pedoish to me, honestly. Before women were trying to look somewhat sophisticated and mature I guess, which isn’t exactly good but still, now it’s all about looking like a fresh faced teenager and not daring to develop a single line or wrinkle, and it gives me the creeps.

Anonymous 86345

>>86307
Me too

Anonymous 86346

>>86330
Talk to her then lol

Anonymous 86347

>>86326
obviously genetic health issues are the exception, not the rule. there's not THAT many 20 somethings walking around with hypermobile EDS and spinal arthritis. the idiots complaining on social media about feeling elderly when they're 25 are the same ones who watch netflix all day and wonder why they're so stiff.

Anonymous 86348

>>86347
EDS is heavily underdiagnosed and I’ve met a lot of women under 40 who were newly diagnosed. It used to just be thought of as being double jointed. Then they realized a lot of these people have problems with their ligaments, tendons and blood vessels that cause chronic pain, but because so many of these patients were women, they were told they were crazy and that it was all in their head.

Anonymous 86349

8F3DF8E5-F7A3-440D…

>>86348
Also, about 1 in 5 people have hyper mobile joints. That in itself is known to cause pain. EDS is a secondary diagnosis, but most people remain undiagnosed and just suffer from chronic pain without quite knowing why. Around 70% of EDS patients are female.

I have orthostatic tachycardia and my condition also mainly affects young women, so for centuries it went undiagnosed and was dismissed as random fainting spells or female hysteria. Even now, most women don’t receive a diagnosis until their 30s or 40 despite usually suffering from it since their teens.

Anonymous 86351

>"Having a friend group would be nice"
>goes out and actually talks to people
>"wow I do not like the vast majority of people"
Rinse and repeat
I'll learn to be content with being a loner one day

Anonymous 86354

>>86351
Why don’t you like most people?

Anonymous 86355

>>86354
Various reasons that I'm too lazy to type up

Anonymous 86362

Men over 30 shouldn’t be allowed to breed, im sick of the world being overpopulated with annoying autists born of defective sperm.

Anonymous 86377

I feel like it's impossible to be sexually attractive with my body type. I'm very short and petite and I'm also not very curvy and I always feel that I look like a child. When men express their sexual attraction to me I just feel really weird and have hard time believing it. It feels ridiculous. I feel like the only way I could've been considered sexually attractive is if I was taller or curvier. It seems to impact my relationships because it's really hard for me to see myself in sexual context and it does confuse my bf.

Anonymous 86378

>>86362
Both my mom and dad were in their 40s and look where i am rn

Anonymous 86381

>>86164
Everybody dies and we will all be forgotten. Everthing is temporary, nothing has permanent significance, and your worries without answers will never have any. Try not to focus on thing you can't change.

Anonymous 86382

\long rant ignore. rambling for no reason.
Sick of period blues (yes i call them that i won't dignify these symptoms by according them the same degree of importance as actual anxiety).
Moodiness, unwarranted revulsion to people (my current self and especially my past self). Very deservedly repulsed by non-fictional men.
Most of all I find myself reviewing all my past choices and beating myself over them mentally. Please just let me leave this rut.
When will i ever find something that i enjoy doing. ive turned into a shitty student so no counting on academic validation to spur me through the pain of college. On another note, I only (fingers crossed) have 3 weeks left of college, with no job lined up in sight so there's that. i also seem to be currently suffering from imposter syndrome with a side of "woe is me everyone's doing much better i don't know what im doing with my life" dilemma so there's that. ive complained about my age in this thread before but im nothing if not redundant. god i hate being 24 so god damn much. im so mentally stunted that i cannot accept the maturity the age requires me to display and i keep unironically envying 18 year olds for having their entire future before them. i have 24 year old friends who are married. irrationally i want to stomp them out of existence. not because of envy, but because the idea of marriage is so fucking terrifying and inconceivable for my cripple brain that i cannot abide it when women my age are content with settling down and finding themselves WITH a partner. I almost feel a sadistic glee at the prospect of these unions failing.
things changed massively in my 23rd year. somehow my procrastination no longer miraculously worked. i guess the universe was tired of handing me favors. the world is very fair and just. i had an inkling of a "relationship" and the memory of how i behaved during "it" makes me gag incontrollably. absolutely pathetic simpering attention starved little puppy bitch who freaked out when the mid moid withheld a fraction of the attention he so lavished on me. i gaslit myself out of my feelings succesfully. how could someone who could unattach themselves from emotional vulnerabilities so easily be so fucking inept at dealing with the merest responsibilities?
maybe the anxiety is back. who knows. im not going back on meds. if i go back to the therapist just so i could moan about "the future feels so dark, im so hopeless" only for them to recite a load of drivel that ive memorized by heart, im like to go no where. venting leads no where. crying leads no where. self harming leads no where. suicidal ideation is just me throwing myself an undeserved pity party at the minutest inconvenience. im never going to change? i thought i could be great. i thought i had potential, but i stumbled on the first step and now im lying at the bottom of the staircase in a puddle of snot, and have been for the last 6 years.
i thought my emotions were too big for my body to handle because i had a legitimate problem. i wanted so bad for there to be a tangible illness. some kind of condition. no such thing. im just… defunct. No amount of self awareness, self analysis, self abuse will fix me. will turn me into a productive member of society. im done.

Anonymous 86383

>>86382
Cringe at the word salad. Guess 3 sleepless nights writing a graduation report and trying to pad the word count does that for your writing style. ESL things… Many such cases. Sad.

Anonymous 86398

I’m so fucking tired of seeing Stacys everywhere. I don’t get how some people look so good all the time. I put effort into my appearance but it never works out somehow. My hair always ends up looking weird or a random pimple pops up at the worse time. It sucks.

Anonymous 86401

>>86398
Feels good to have stopped giving a shit about all that. I feel sorry for younger girls who are still obsessed with sexually and aesthetically competing with other women.

Anonymous 86403

>>86401
what’s sadder is realizing most of those competitive feelings and feelings of jealousy between women aren’t innate but rather implanted into womens brains and encouraged by moids

Anonymous 86411

Capture.PNG

>>83059
I can relate to this. A few months ago I was wronged by numerous people who I trusted and nowadays I'll have flashbacks and nightmares about what happened, causing either great anger within me over how I allowed myself to be treated. Although I very much understand my anger is useless and I don't ever plan acting out on it, I can't control it. All I can do is obsessively wish for karma to catch up to them. The worst part of it all is that I'm also to blame, due to my inability to stop myself from acting like a doormat. It stems from my immense need for validation and attention from people and I have this instinctual urge to be as pleasing as possible to others even if it means at the cost of my comfort, then it all falls apart once they've had their share of me, and finally comes the overwhelming feelings of humiliation and anger. I wish I could grow a spine and live comfortably by myself but that sort of life seems inoperable to me.

Anonymous 86425

>>86323
unexpectedly he actually talked things out with me and we got back together
apparently he thinks he has bpd, so I guess this was like some bpd episode or something - he basically freaked out over a seemingly minor issue that I was already working on fixing and self-sabotaged the relationship
my hope is he goes to a therapist and seeks help for whatever mental illness is troubling him whether its bpd or something else so that he doesn't do this to me again in the future
your scenario sounds way worse than what I went through I would have went absolutely insane if a scrote pulled that shit on me

Anonymous 86430

>TLDRs
did reddit somehow shill this place? God help us.

Anonymous 86437

>>86411
To truly be people-pleasing you can't be doormat. You have to be fun, a bit unpredictable, interesting… at least somewhat challenging,(not necessarily combative just honest / unafraid)

Visibly looking for valdation is the exact opposite of what people really want. Thats why they walk all over doormats and treat them like crap. Most people really dont know how to think with empathy for themselves or others, they get in line… for tedium. //all so they don't have to feel adjacent to weakness.// Even if it means betraying their concience, they just get in line for .. whatever doesnt seem weak and is still entertaining. Which explains what happened to you.


Bottom line…People are dumb slobs and even liars but they're also the opposite of what they seem at any moment. At the same time, they want to be challenged in a fun way.. no not necessarily a toxic way, or an overly challenging way but they want to respect the people theyre around for better or worse. They don't want to be catered to. They dont care what that means a LOT of the time holy f. But if you want to stop being treated like crap you have to establish the fact that youre not a marshmellow. This is not just a rule that applies to men. Half the reason a lot of women are so dsrespected is because they are taught they will be rewarded for sacrificing everything f theirs. This is actually not true.

Just hack your usual 'people pleasing' inclination, reset it to follow rules that don't screw you that way.

Anonymous 86439

>>86323
You talk about this guy any chance you get and then get defensive when people tell you your AvPD hate just comes from being salty over the breakup. Fuckin hilarious.

Anonymous 86450

>>86439
I think you’re mixing up two people. I’m a different nona and talked about my avpd ex on here too. It’s common among nonas here because most of us have avpd or are heavily introverted ourselves, so we gravitate towards quiet introverted men.

Anonymous 86457

>>86439
yeah I'm the one who posted >>86323 and I'm not >>86450. I can get why you wouldn't like me talking about him since AvPDemons don't like having their dirty laundry aired. If a bunch of nonas come out talking about the crazy shit AvPDemons have done then suddenly people don't just view them as socially anxious little victims anymore. Fuck yeah I'm salty over the breakup - anyone would be because anyone who doesn't subscribe to the deranged worldview of an AvPD would realize that ghosting someone out of a 6 year relationship is contemptible and insane.

Anonymous 86477

I need to stop purposefully making myself angry. It's so fucking stupid.

Anonymous 86478

>>86457
He seems to be trawling the board for any mention of avoidant men and then taking it as a personal attack, and accuses us of all being the same person. Very unhinged individual.

Anonymous 86485

I hate how hard it is to connect with other people. Something is deeply wrong with me and I may never form another close friendship in my life because of it. Everyone just seems immediately turned off by me, it's so upsetting. Is it my voice? Am I not emoting correctly? I know I can come across as stand off-ish but that shouldn't turn people off so fucking badly.

Considering actually pursuing an autism diagnosis tbh. There must be some explanation for why I consistently fail each social interaction. I have skills (evidently not the social kind), I present decently, and I try to be as nice as possible…
Is it the mild acne? Like I mentioned I try to dress well and maintain a healthy weight to balance that out. Other pizza faces have friends anyway, so I know it can't be that.

Perhaps I should start recording my social interactions and analyze what works and what makes people dislike me.

Anonymous 86486

>>86485
Maybe your breath stinks. I know a guy at work who is good looking and nice and stuff, but people avoided him because his breath is so bad. I took him aside and told him he needs to see a doctor about it and use mouthwash more regularly in the nicest way I possibly could, he was extremely embarrassed and ignored me for a while, I guess he was mad at me. But then he told me a few months later he’d managed to get the problem fixed and actually thanked me. Most people are too polite to ever tell you this, but it can definitely affect your social life.

Anonymous 86495

>>86486
This is funny, I'll start bringing a toothbrush around with me and see how it goes kek. I do have acid reflux issues at the moment so perhaps it contributes? However it's like this even with masks and/or social distancing…
I can also guarantee my mother would have mentioned it since she's so blunt.

Anyway, I have since recovered and am excited to tackle the same group of people who put me in this state again tomorrow. The right ones will accept me as I am, even if that is as an embarrassing possible-sperg.

Anonymous 86497

>>86495
It’s a long shot, but sometime relatives can’t detect others bad breath because their noses are accustomed to your ‘smell’ if you know what I mean. Anyway, good luck nona. Some people are just assholes, you can never please them, don’t take it personally.

Anonymous 86511

I can't even begin to describe how much I fucking hate myself.

Anonymous 86514

>>86511
Why do you hate yourself so much?

Anonymous 86515

>>83058
I don't like men or women. I just don't like people in general.

Anonymous 86519

My left hand feels like if it has shattered, my stomach hurts and I have not slept in two days.

Anonymous 86521

I bought a new shirt and it came today. It’s a little loose but that’s not a big deal or anything. I wore it to the gas station to get some energy drinks and this dude just literally stared down my shirt even after I caught him looking. I’m never wearing it again, I hate being looked at like that

Anonymous 86530

>>83058
I really can’t handle all my stress. I secretly wish all my friends just cut me off it would make my life easier and my attention to class work easier

Anonymous 86536

Tumblr_l_110749934…

my "best friend" who i've been having a bit of a fall out with bc of the amount of suicide attempts i've tried recently blocked me on tiktok, co-star, and spotify, the latter two not even having a messaging system.
i know she fucking hates me but i would seriously prefer she tell me to my face than make indirect threads about it.

Anonymous 86538

I'm done eating chips forever. Used to be able to enjoy them but now when I eat them I feel so ill. Maybe it's part of growing up.

Anonymous 86541

>>86538
god same, i miss the times when i actually enjoyed them

Anonymous 86550

>>86536
she doesnt hate you but she cannot tard wrangle someone that is mentally ill
its extremely stressful having to constantly deal with shit like this, she cant let you destroy her life and shes doing the correct thing by _cutting_ you out
I had to do the same thing at one point, if you seek help you could potentially salvage the relationship and she would surely back you up, she just cannot handle doing it alone

Anonymous 86554

I'm crying and shitting my pants because I'm moving out and I was collecting kitchen utensils I'll need and my mother said I could have the garlic press because she can just get a new one but I know that one was expensive and she knows I love cooking and I love my family im going to die without them holy run on sentence

Anonymous 86555

>>86536
is that a cake or a pancake?

Anonymous 86565

I know I'll sound like an asshole for saying this but most older women (late 30s+) in fandom spaces are always the most annoying people. From my experience they often have extremely obvious internalised misogyny and if the fandom they're in has female characters they'll either hate them all to a weird extent or only like one and put all the others down for her. I notice this a lot less with younger women. I guess it's because older women were raised in a time where misogyny was more acceptable? I don't know but I'm tired of them.

Anonymous 86567

>>86565
Just because you don’t like certain women or female characters doesn’t mean you are a misogynist.

Anonymous 86570

>>86383
People who complain about ESLs never cease to be cringe. Especially when they're Americans and can't speak any other language.

Anonymous 86578

>hit peak trans
>hit peak terf
>hit peak trans
>hit peak terf
>hit peak trans
>hit peak terf
make it stop. i just want to be normal and surrounded by normal people, but i'm not normal so it never happens

Anonymous 86579

>>86565
I don't know which fandoms you're part of but I've noticed the exact same thing in my fandoms. Of course not every older woman thinks this way but it's far more common with them.

Anonymous 86582

Why am I stuck on this cursed weight? This is the second time I am trying to lose it and it feels like my body just refuses to go lower than that one mark. I am not even BMI 20, this is not exhaustion, wtf, body?

Anonymous 86585

cry.jpg

im so fucking horny im gonna die

Anonymous 86586

I hate myself so much

Anonymous 86588

No one talks about the huge identity crisis that happens with taking medication after years of spiraling. Welp, maybe i was the only one to experience this thats why? I’m such a different person now that i have moments where I completely shut down when someone brings up past things. Who was that? Why would she do that?

Anonymous 86589

Wish I could submit something to a comic anthology but can't risk my mother finding out about it. She would be so upset.

I'm too old for this; I really need to move out. I love her so much and am so grateful but our disagreements have started to strain the relationship.

Anonymous 86590

>>86588
Same here, dude. I was really floaty, depersonalized and easy to manipulate off meds and my ex convinced me my best friend of 5 years sexually violated them & managed to get me to enable their cheating on her with me by saying "i'll break up with them this week" every week for 2 months. I actually participated in this, somehow. Even though this person was actively lying to everyone else and not even hiding it from me, for some reason I thought they would never lie to ME. I remember when I got on medication I had this huge breakdown like, where am I? What the fuck am I doing here? How the hell did I end up here? Where was my loyalty? Where were my principles? Where was I?
My ex's reaction to this was "I missed you having intense feelings like this. It's kind of hot." They were a monster, and I participated in or enabled a lot of horrible shit they did, and I have no fucking idea why. My friend, who I've recently reconnected with, says that they're charismatic and that it was my first relationship after coming to terms with not being attracted to men and she forgives me, but I know for an absolute fact I would not have acted the way I did and done the things I did if I had been on medication at the time.

I try to look at it maturely. My responsibility to myself and to the people in my life who I hurt off meds is to get on and stay on medication. I take it one day at a time and try not to get consumed by shame, but it is very tough.

Anonymous 86593

>>86567
You didn't even read my post did you? I said all female characters to a weird extent. I hate when people can't get into nuance.

Anonymous 86595

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Ì really love energetic, friendly extrovert x low energy, bad at socialising, introvert pairings whether they're just friends or romantic. I don't know how well pairings like these work in real life, but I'm an introvert and I've always wished a friendly, non-judgemental extrovert would magically become my best friend and help balance me out.
I think those people are probably too good to be real though.

Anonymous 86598

moids don't mind trying to use me for sexual favors (I always pass and say no, I'm not into casual hookups or even stuff like sexting) and just for once in my life I'd like to know what it's like to actually be wanted by one for love rather than validation and sex. kill men tbh

Anonymous 86599

So my mom used to be a gamer and has a big library of games but she's not anymore so a few years ago i took over her accounts and made sure to put in her bio that her daughter is the one using the account. One of her friends messaged me and our conversation was normal for a while but at some point he asked me for my discord so I added him. At this point in time I had just turned 17 a few days ago and he knew this. But he drove the conversation to be SO vulgar and sexual so quickly. The shit he said was insane. It made me so physically sick I couldn't eat for two days. Whenever I asked for his age I got dodged but he mentioned he'd finished college and had a few jobs.

I ended up blocking him after a few days of chatting but it still bothers me to this day and I don't know why. It was just over discord, it's not like he assaulted me irl or anything. I haven't told anyone this, I don't even think it's a big enough deal to tell anyone but it seriously freaks me out and I just don't know why

Anonymous 86603

>>86595
I have this with my childhood best friend, thing is they always have soooo many friends its hard to hang out 1 on 1 so u should always expect to be with ppl u dont really care about. sucks a bit but u also meet other cool ppl every once in a while

Anonymous 86605

I was forced to step on a scale today and realized I gained 10kg since I last checked and now have a BMI of 23. I wanna kms

Anonymous 86617

My bf put in almost no effort at all into our relationship during the last one or two years. I kind of started drifting away from him because I was getting tired of running after him. During that time it was like leading two completely seperate lifes while living in the same appartment.
He is trying really hard to improve things now and I feel really bad for him but I'm not sure if this situation can be fixed so easily. I like living with him, he is a good person and I don't want to lose him but I just don't feel it anymore.

Anonymous 86619

>>86590
Yeah i was extremely fucked over by a male off meds too. a relative though not any romantic relationship. People in general are dangerous when you’re not in your right mind, but those who dehumanize you are even more so. I hope you forgive yourself, you got caught up in some faggot’s storm. Not your fault, we’re here to learn after all

Anonymous 86627

>>86616
Not her but it seriously depends on where you live and how old you are.
Almost everyone I know irl is annoying about trans acceptance and shit and there's a lot of Aidens

Anonymous 86629

I just got out of a 6.5 year relationship about 5 or more years too late. It was fucked and the majority of my 20s are past me. I'm going on a date with some zoomer twink looking kid from Tinder who's two years younger than me tonight. I don't know what I'm doing lmao

Anonymous 86631

>>86627
What’s an Aiden

Anonymous 86638

E48w6b8VgAss8C_.jp…

>>86164
UPDATE my grandma is fine :) she didn't die on me.

Anonymous 86644

>>86631
It's a reference the fact that trans identifying females always pick the dumbest male names for themselves like Aiden, Ash, Leslie, etc…

Anonymous 86657

>>86631
Aiden is a common fakeboi name

Anonymous 86658

>>86638
I'm glad for your grandma anon. Savour the time you have together. I miss my Oma terribly.

Anonymous 86659

I wish we could detect 'tism with a brain scan. I was diagnosed when I was 13 because I did act like a sped back then (and had to go to a psych because I was groomed), but they completely ignored the fact that I was mostly kept away from my parents as a baby, my dad almost died, I got quiet and stopped making friends/enjoying life. I had special interests only when I was a tween (typical band member crushes kek), I'm 19 now and I haven't been obsessed with anything for years. I had no socialization at school because people just made fun of me and I wonder if I'm just an autist or it's a lack of socialization and a weird childhood. Guess obsessing this much over a label makes me a sperg though kek.

Anonymous 86661

Accidentally stumbled upon my abusive ex's instagram account when i was searching about my high school. Triggered instant anxiety. I scrolled a bit but then closed the app. The fact that, after all he did to me, he just gets to live a normal life with his fake goodboy persona, with friends who have no idea who he truly is, makes me so fucking sick and angry. I want to punch a hole in the wall.

Anonymous 86662

>>86629
tell me an update pls nona

Anonymous 86670

>>86661
I'm so sorry anon. I know how you feel. I hope you feel better now.
I know it's far easier said than done, but try to keep him out of your mind as much as possible. Don't let him take any more of your energy.

Anonymous 86672

>>86661
I hate that feeling too. Adding my own vent here but I was told my own abusive ex recently was caught trying to meet up with a minor. I get the feeling he’s going to get away with it though because his family is rich…. Wish I was never even told this in the first place though.

Anonymous 86677

>>86661
What did he do? I’m really scared of abusers who can larp as good people

Anonymous 86678

>>86644
Vincent/Victor is another one lol

Anonymous 86679

Turns out my effortless weight loss and newfound ability to eat whatever and not gain weight is actually a pretty bad thyroid condition. I didn't notice the symptoms because they are all things I've always experienced due to depression/anxiety.

Anonymous 86699

i'm so tired of seeing patrick bateman memes and pics and vids everywhere. the guy who groomed me online years ago was obsessed with that film and used a bateman profile pic, i wish the obsession would die. i just want to forget it all as best i can

Anonymous 86704

My dad made plans with me to go to this event we use to go to a lot when I was a kid but now he’s ignoring me over it.. This is something my parents always do to me. My whole family even went on vacations without me and withheld telling me that they even went. I feel so alone right now.

Anonymous 86708

>>86677
He was an extreme pathological liar. I was 15 and gullible. He made up an ENTIRE fake life that involved the "deep web", drug trafficking, rape/torture stories. I could write a novel about it. He made himself out to be super edgy but also an extreme victim (made up multiple bizarre rape scenarios about himself). He would constantly create scenarios in which I was constantly being watched or in mortal danger. He once FAKED A HOME INVASION, and FACETIMED ME CRYING SAYING HIS GOODBYES. NO ONE BROKE INTO HIS HOUSE. I could go ON and ON and ON. There would be points where he wouldn't answer his texts, so I'd sit in my bed crying with a knife because I was so scared something happened to him and might happen to me.
>>86672
Fuck him. You can make an anonymous tip to the FBI.
>>86670
I love u anon. Really trying not to message his friends and expose him.

Anonymous 86709

>>86570
Oh that was me replying to myself, acknowledging the inanity of what i wrote.

Anonymous 86710

Law of attraction gabagool this and that. Whenever they tell you the biggest hurdle is not accepting your reality i laugh. Im mentally stuck at 18. Even when im maladaptively daydreaming, my daydreams usually center around “what different choices could i have made at that age and how much better my life would be now?” I want to move on but i can’t

Anonymous 86713

>>86708
That's horrible. Sorry you went through that. My ex was also a pathological liar but never went that far. I fucking hate these types of narcissistic faggots.

The girl's parents reported him to the cops at least but I haven't seen any updates since then. It's been months and I see his work place still has his contact information listed. I know justice can be slow though but at the very least, I try to find comfort in the idea that karma will come for these type of men some day. They're so incredibly psychologically damaged that they are bound to fuck up horribly some day.

Anonymous 86717

>>86713
>I fucking hate these types of narcissistic faggots.
Me too. He definitely had NPD or HPD. And the goody-two-shoes, "innocent" public persona these types use is fucking infuriating. Have you considered anonymously contacting his work and telling them about the allegations?

Anonymous 86718

>>86717
I've thought about it actually. I just don't know the best way to do this. The original social media posts that the parents made about the incident have been deleted. I never saw them when they were first posted and was only informed by a friend a few weeks after the whole thing happened. I wish I could contact the parents about this but I don't personally know them and I feel like it's being too intrusive. I'm sure they deleted the posts because their daughter has already been through enough and didn't need her name floating around online. If only the posts were still around and I could easily link them to his work place…

Also, my ex was the same way too. "Charming" persona that came off as intelligent, mild-mannered, and cultured. People constantly fell for it.

Anonymous 86719

>>86708
Fuck, the way you describe him, I know a guy who almost fits that to a T. Pathological liars are the most pathetic people.

Anonymous 86720

>>86565
>I guess it's because older women were raised in a time where misogyny was more acceptable?
Yes, more like what’s normal and enforced but yes

Anonymous 86721

>>86719
Tell me more about him! Usually when ppl call their exes "pathological liars" they're talking about then cheating rather than literally creating insane stories out of thin air. Does his name happen to start with a C? Lol
>>86718
Hm yeah i wouldnt be sure what to do either! I would just search his name in court/arrest databases once in a while to try to get any updates.

Anonymous 86724

i was bullied severely all through out elementary school by one girl, i was a carefree forgiving nice child so it never really bothered me on the surface but now years later at 22, i’m connecting the dots. i grew up in a dysfunctional home that called me weak and abused me when i came back home so i kept it all inside. The bitch was so jealous of me drawing that she targeted me for it to the point i even stopped for years after lol (situation at home with a narcissistic moid who really didn’t want me drawing too wasn’t helpful either). In middle school i became mean and sour but never really knew why and later on in life everyone made me out to be this bad guy for my behavior and they hung out with her after we grew up even though she’s a well known bully. I know it’s petty and i’m not the type to really hold a grudge especially with kids since ive been done dirty plenty, but damn that is one evil child. I hope she dies along with my abusive siblings lol. It’s just not fair.

Anonymous 86725

>>86721
The guy I'm talking about had a friend who's house burned down in an accident, so he lied to me and pretended that HE burnt his friend's house down to seem… cool? I have no idea.
He also pretended he killed one of his rabbits by smearing one of the female one's period blood on his hands and pretending he had cut her to death or something.
Luckily, she was fine. He just lied.
He was in his early 20s at the time and I was a very naive 15 year old who didn't know that animals could even have periods, so I thought he had really killed one of them before his sister told me that he's just a weird liar and all the rabbits are fine.
My best friend at the time had a big crush on him, so I tried to be his friend for her sake.
One day he randomly lied that I "made a move on him" (yes, at 15) and my ""best friend"" believed him and hated ME for it.

What a fucking weirdo. The guy you're talking about is an absolute weirdo too. The guy I'm talking about begins with an S though! May we never come across people like either of them again. They're not even entertaining, just pathetic. I hate people who think being "edgy" and "fucked up" is cool.

Anonymous 86728

Stupid ass friend ditched me saying her family was visiting then posts pictures with some rando on ig, 'I had an amazing day love you so much!!1!1!'. I don't care if you want to do something else but just be honest you coward. I feel like I'm drifting away from everyone I know, I can't talk to anyone anymore without having to refrain. Everyone I used to feel connected with has the wokes now I can't fucking stand it.

Anonymous 86729

I just want to scream into the void. I have an exam coming up and I don't know shit. And people close to me all want me to do well but I couldn't care less. I just do not learn. I do not care. I will probably drop out if I don't pass this shit and I still don't care. I have one more day. One day. Thats fucking nothing. I want to give up. I am just a lazy piece of shit.

Anonymous 86730

>>86725
Holy shit yeah, my ex would 100% lie about burning someone's house down or killing something lmao. Pathological liars are such worthless pieces of shit weirdos lmao.

Ugh I'm really trying to not go back to his insta to stalk him bc the mere sight of his face makes me nauseous.

Anonymous 86733

I got so mad I broke a mug and cracked my phone screen. Now I hate this stupid little hairline crack in my phone.
I need to stop drinking caffeine when I’m stressed, it’s like throwing gasoline on a fire. Caffeine seems to only be beneficial when I’m already in a good mood.
I’m so tired of keeping up my end of the bargain. I’m so tired of waiting for people. I’m so angry and frustrated. I’m really really angry and frustrated. I’m angry that I have been waiting and waiting and waiting. I’m angry that I have high standards and low output. I’m angry because I don’t know if that’s true. I’m angry because I’ve been putting up with so much for so long and I am physically and mentally done with it, and tbe people in my life better start pulling their fucking weight and getting it together. I’m so angry at them for making me wait for so long and enable them into being immature. I’m so mad for enabling them and the fact that I was constantly doing it out of fear and guilt, and being accommodating. I want whAt I want. I know that I want a lot but I try my best to figure it out and make it fit within normal boundaries. Sometimes i am coping.
Im so mad lolcow never fucking loads anymore. I’m glad this place exists.
Sorry for being cryptic, I can’t really care if anyone sees this, I just needed to get it out.
Im tired right now of trying to be all mentally squeaky clean. I need a break. I need to make sure I don’t break things. I’d love to throw a mug at a wall. I don’t want to do anything for more than three days. I want silence from people. I want them to go away, I am gone.

Anonymous 86735

>>86704
I spent all day crying over my family and my boyfriend ignored me the whole day. I eventually brought up how I felt alone and ignored. So he just rubs my knee and tells me my parents are busy. I shook my head no at him because I just feel like that’s untrue and he gets mad at me and calls me rude. Then he started to bring up how I was talking to one of my friends online this morning and asked how often and what we talk about. So I told him because i have nothing to hide and told him to go look at the chat if he wanted to. He then declined that and said I was acting defensive and giving him dirty looks and he proceeded to mock my facial expressions. (mind you I’ve been crying all day and during this convo, of course I’m making negative facial expressions ) I argued a bit and tried to tell him I’m not defensive and asked him why was he bringing this up. He wouldn’t answer why and just kept saying I was defensive until I apologized. After this I go into his iPad and try to get his sisters phone number out of the contacts because I’ve had enough of this and I just wanted to idk vent and ask her for help since she’s older and somewhat of a mother like figure to him. He caught me and asked what I was doing and I didn’t want to tell him so he accused me of cheating. I left the apartment after this and now I’m outside trying to calm down. I just needed to vent because I have no one to talk to. I can’t be in this relationship, he’s most likely the one cheating on me. I think later when I have time I’ll ask the relationship thread how I should get out of this ..

Anonymous 86736

>>86735
Sounds like you and your bf are both mentally unstable and paranoid desu

Anonymous 86738

>>86736
Pretty much. I tried hard to make it work out but I’m realizing how much of a dumbass I’ve been.

Anonymous 86740

>>85635

That reminds me.. I had one professor, for a class where we were learning about drug addiction, and she told us that she used to have a smoking addiction. Her husband apparently told her "If you don't quit smoking, I'm not having sex with you anymore." and she never touched a cigarette ever again. lol I can see that working. If you truly love him, you wouldn't be able to bear having intimacy/affection withheld from you and that will win over your desire to smoke.

Anonymous 86742

Joined a support group for dealing with a niche type of parental abuse (I won't say what because I'm paranoid) and the first thing that happened was that they asked for pronouns. I'm sick of this shit.

Anonymous 86743

I ant to be seen as a person I want remitió al support I want to be HEARD and I want people to care about what I like enough to remember that I like something it doesn’t have to be everything but just my favorite song or band

Anonymous 86745

boo.jpg

God, I really loathe beauty standards and the optics around them.

Around puberty, my facial deformity got worse (it's not completely horrific but it does make my face look a bit twisted), leading to all sorts of health, speaking issues, and endless people telling me how ugly I look. No one ever found me cute besides maybe my best friend. I got used to people looking like they are about to puke when they see my face, being accused of being a man, etc. I need to spend like 40000$ to fix my face.

It's been a while but I am now seeing a huge trend of people trying to deny the experiences of people like me; "oh, the people that thought you were ugly and treated you like trash were just big fat meanies or jealous!" (usually with the person's face being unknown). Just, a lot of people whose first impulse is a "there's no way you're ugly!"
Collectively, it actually does make it seem like it's actually terrible to be ugly, way more than someone that just takes it at face value. And in the meantime, there's a lot of those "being ugly is someone's own fault" assholes bubbling up, the people that try manufacturing ways of somehow punching up at ugly people, etc.
Literally I don't need to hear that being ugly is suffering but having the fact most people treat people mostly according to their looks - and no it's not always being as hot as possible - and beauty standards seem to be only getting worse is just, well, exhausting.

Oh. And don't even get me started on the people that feel the need to tear down average or conventionally ugly confident people. I wanted to die since I was 5 and I'd love if I found myself (or my mind) beautiful or good. I never have and I likely will never.

Anonymous 86751

I was asked to appear on a dating TV show and I don't know if I'll regret not doing it. Though it was to have a date with someone with a woman's name and apparently "he/him pronouns", so I what the fuck am I supposed to even expect? I guess I'll see the episode later and see whether I dodged a bullet or really missed out.

Anonymous 86759

Welp. Thought about doing optometry after undergrad but the only optometry school in my state is in NYC. I hate New York City to the point where it’s not worth it and don’t know if I want to travel out of state. Ugh.

Anonymous 86760

>>86751
>it was to have a date with someone with a woman's name and apparently "he/him pronouns"
Bullet dodged

Anonymous 86763

Moid friend will not fucking reply to me. Ugh.

Anonymous 86764

Why do I keep saying ugh

Anonymous 86766

>>86763
Practice not replying to him

Anonymous 86812

ffs goddamn
my nigel's not perfect but fucking arguing with him pisses me off like no other.


The absolute inability to understand that women don't act like that troon Blaire White and that he acts like a HSTS and is something I didn't think I'd have to explain.

Imagine being so detached from reality that you think that's how women act. I hate his moid opinions on female issues. It basically turned into me arguing with a YouTube commentator when I had to explain medical sexism is real and affects women worse. With my own experience and other women I know. He was so combative about it and just wouldn't swallow the truth until I started plying him with data but there was just a flagrant lack of respect and this "HWHELL I KNOW BETTER" & "Men and women arent that different" ignorance that makes me want to screech.


Am I losing my shit? I'm not even that radical, I don't do annoying protests and shit, I don't express my opinion much at all.

There's just shit moids fundamentally will not understand and I had to cut the dialogue short on the Blaire/tranny thing before I split my head open because I knew he'd say some dumb shit I'm gonna be spending ages trying to sink through his skull with him kicking every step of the way just like with the medical sexism this like what the fuck nonas.


I need some god damn female friends that aren't wokepilled. Fuuck

Anonymous 86824

1602606548310.png

>>83058
My latest ex boyfriend once said that he would "get over it" in a week if we ever broke up. I left him for a woman almost 2 years ago and he still winges about me sometimes on social media. I remember him crying, saying that he'd never find a person that loves him as much as I did. And he's right. Nobody will ever put up with, love him, or be as patient with him as I was. I feel pretty smug about it. Especially because he treated me like shit for so long.



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