General vent thread? Anonymous 84
Today I spent six hours being sent from caseworker to caseworker because I need assistance with a chronic illness. (inb4 Munchie)
It was patronizing and humiliating talking to these people. There were a lot of immigrants waiting too and they were talked down to and treated like neanderthals even though they were fluent in our language.
Despite bringing legit diagnoses and a paper trail from the day of my birth to now, the final caseworker went on a rant and I was literally told to get over it. When I started to cry, she wordlessly called up a coworker and joked about lunch break. Later, when I left, she walked me outside and gave me some helpful "advice" for my illness, of the "you should smile more" variety except regarding physical health.
It's really great how everyone is an expert at curing me except for the professionals I've been seeing since I was born.
Ugh are you me? Today I had my new psych receive my papers, I'm bipolar. She started reading parts of them loud while I was there and it was so embarrassing and horrifying. Reading the worst parts loud and rolling her eyes, I've done horrible things in the past. I was very fucked up until my 20's and she had to read loud the worst things I did as a teenager, which I've worked so hard to get over.
I love my dad but he's getting more and more annoying to be around. My mom's frustrated with him too, so not just me. I wish he'd change, but while you can take a person out of a country, you can't take the country out of a person.
>be unexperienced 18 y/o
>apply for summer job
>one job calls me in for an interview
>dad says i can't go because i can't walk to it (its 5 miles away)
I want to die
5 miles? That's about a 3 and a half hour walk so I can see why your dad wouldn't let you. Leaving 3 hours earlier won't work out for you at all. Unless you're exaggerating and mean something like 2 miles which brings me to this -
are you physically unable to walk that distance or is your dad trying to control you? He'd rather you be a jobless husk with no money or experience that will greatly help you later in life?
Tell him you're never going to be able to get a job then because most people's jobs aren't just across the street like they're schoolchildren.
Better yet, why don't you just take the job and go? He can't stop you from going outside, you're 18. What's he gonna do, get mad at you for working? Lmao your dad is backwards.
Yeah, my dad is … something else. He's a baby boomer so you can get an idea of how he's like.
He says it's because he won't be able to drive me there all the time and there's going to be times where I need to walk.
>>96>He's a baby boomer
I'll pray for you.
I rescue lots of cats and help them and for the past couple weeks I was working with an inexperienced young mother cat and today I awoke to her kittens suddenly dying. The vet wasn't able to do jackshit and I was sitting around crying like a dumbass trying to warm them up because they were freezing even though there was no reason for them to. Everything was warm like it was supposed to be. The mom was trying to feed them but she's still a baby herself so she'd wander off and go play so I would end up formula feeding them with family help.
They were doing so well I don't know what happened. Their eyes were opening and they were beginning tl walk. I've worked with several different cats before and this is my first experience. When fostering kittens, I know that sometimes one or two don't make it but I've never seen a whole litter die before. When I had to remove the last kitten from the mom she was licking it and trying to get it to move but the little guy was gone. She doesn't understand and fuck I feel like I just failed her because my job was to help them when she couldn't since she couldn't fully understand how to mother when shes just barely a year old.
I love rescuing animals but this bit me right in the ass and now I'm trying to comfort the mom cat while being a blubbering baby myself. I'm not gonna give up saving cats but I just feel so defeated right now.
anon, I'm so sorry. please know it's very kind and strong of you to help out and make this easier on the cat mama, and you have not failed her in any way. I had a cat give birth a long time ago as well, it was her first pregnancy and the whole litter was dead upon birth except 1 kitten. it's very sad, but sometimes these things can happen and it's really not anyone's fault. you're sticking by her, aiding her through pregnancy + motherhood so please don't think any less of yourself. your help means a lot, and if only your girl could speak the same language as you, she would understand how much you have done for her. >>114
Bless you anon for helping cats! I'm so sorry to hear about the kittens though. ;_;
I remember seeing a cat in the shelter who was recovering from an abortion. It was very sad, and I had never seen such a thing.
Thanks so much for helping the kitties though. It's not your fault what happened though.
After a good hard cry I feel a little better. Still a little sniffly but better. I'm used to only one or two kittens dying because normally they're the ones who die not long after birth or the mom rejects them and they pass not long after, even when we've tried handrearing them ourselves. I heard of entire litters dying but for some reason I thought "oh it can't happen to me" because I'm always careful and pay attention to everything and it did so I suppose this is a big wake up call. The vet couldn't help and when I picked up one of the kittens, he wasn't righting himself(when they try to roll over after being placed on their backs) and he was ice cold so I just knew then it wasn't gonna make it. Regardless, I still tried warming them up and it didn't work out.
No one is sure what went wrong since they were flourishing and this was so sudden. Perhaps it was something we weren't aware of and it slipped under everyone's radar cause they were doing ok.
Also sorry about your cat as well. Did the one kitten survive?>>119
I've never seen that but from what I understand it's sometimes medically necessary. If the mom is like 6 months old, because sometimes they can get pregnant that early, there could be complications cause she's still a baby herself or the something just wasn't right and it was best for the mother cat. Just hearing about it is sad but sometimes it is for the best.
The mom keeps calling her babies and she'll do that for the next day or so. She has a sister who spends lots of time with her and me to take care of her so she isn't alone. I'm gonna try and not beat my own ass too hard because I still have cats who need me right now and there will be kittens who need my help in the future as well. Those babies were loved a lot and helping more will honor them. I'm going to plant some flowers for them too when the weather improves.
I'm an intern and I sometimes get to make posters that will be hung around the town or used on the web. However that never happens, idk why and why I'm even wasting my time.
However, I LOVE anything that has to do with editing pictures and graphic design. However, I don't get to choose which pictures I can use for the posters, I get them via mail from an worker that that works in another building.
Somehow she just manages to send me the SHITTIES pictures ever. There are 234143 different colors in the pictures which makes adding text difficult without it somehow blending all together. And no, she won't send me any other pictures nor does she care about it. (even tho that's actually her job)
And today she sent me another set of 3 pictures. White background with the guys standing in the center in blue/black clothes. Okay, not as bad as usual. Still sucks that there's not a lot of space to add text above or under them, not to mention on them. Same with the other 2 pictures, which happens to be all 6 of them laying around blah blah blah.
I hate this so fucking much ugh.
My FIL is a literal SJW. Not in the sense of supporting SJWs and liking their posts, but I mean using Facebook as his personal soapbox, literal gendermeme rape culture otherkin stuff that used to be popular on tumblr a while ago etc.
I just… sigh.
Would you be willing to link said post or cap it for me? You've got me curious now.
I don't think you should let an internet post dictate if you love someone. Then again, if you are letting an internet post dictate that type of thing maybe you really don't love your fiance to begin with.
I'd like to see it as well.
I have barely any surviving highschool friendships. I love being social but I don't have a network, so often I go dancing alone because in my city that's the only time strangers really open up. The friends that I do have aren't that great but I suck up to them because I've got nothing.
I think I've got alot to offer in a friendship but I'm so bad at initiation, I've never made a real friend through even a job.
I just want a nice pretty best friend who likes the same things as me ughhh.
i want to discuss cartoons on 4chan's /co/ but all they do is talk about sex and waifus. Male dominated websites are always about this. Why are men so boring?
It's dumb, but I wish I was kind of popular on twitter. I'm usually private online, but I want to have a bunch of interesting mutuals I could be sincere with and we could talk to each others about our hobbies and interests.
At the same time, I found the twitter and tumblr accounts of someone I know irl, and I feel like if I had too many followers I'd be easy to find too. ##But unlike him, I don't talk in great details about my sex life in accounts that feature my selfies.##
Post anyway, maybe something decent will come out of it.
Next week I'll turn 23 and then I'll know whether I passed this semester or not. If I don't pass this semester because of 2 or 3 courses at most as I'm guessing this will be the case, I'll have to waste an entire year redoing these tests. I want to graduate as soon as possible, which would be next year, and I'm so nervous because of all this. This will be the worst birthday I'll ever have. I feel like a loser.
I also received an email from a store a week ago and I'm apparently going to be hired for the summer, but I haven't received anything after that. I don't know when they're supposed to tell me when I start, so it's even more stressful.
I can't wait to go home, I miss my boyfriend so much. I miss sleeping in his arms and waking up together.
Two and a half more months and we'll be together.
I feel a bit similar.
Getting too much attention is uncomfortable to me. I'd just like to have a following where I can interact with people who have similar interests. I did write people sometimes but the conversation usually never lasted more than about 5 messages and I didn't want to end up making things awkward by writing them too much.
My colleagues are really chill people, and we get along just fine. A couple years ago when I was hired, we had this really rude, annoying girl working with us. My boss sent her to another building, and we were finally at peace away from her. Everyone was relieved. But she's been back since March and holy fuck… She's insufferable. Nobody wanted her back. She is nosy, talks really fucking loud, and is overall annoying. I feel bad for her at times because I don't think she does that on purpose, she's just like that…sigh. I try to be polite and respectful, and I am, but I wish I could tell her just to shut the fuck up and stop talking/loudly asking me things that revolve around my intimacy.
Every time I find cool dresses clothes (indie or otherwise) the sizing is sooo off. My waistline will often be in the "XS-S" range but my hips and bust will put me "L-XL" range. God damn.
When will these stupid clothing manufactures stop assuming every woman is a curveless rectangle?
This post is T R I G G E R I N G me because I have the opposite problem. I can barely shop at stores in the mall (at least for fitted things) because they assume everyone has a big ass and boobs.
>fits perfectly in the waist>baggy af elsewhere
I have the same issue. I have to buy triple xs or double xs from high end stores and the cost is fucking killing me but I literally can't shop elsewhere because the sizes keep getting bigger in fast fashion stores. I never asked for this.
What stores? Maybe you can help me out. I just buy fit-and-flare skirts/dresses from fast fashion stores and only buy form-fitting items for my chest. Anything else I buy tends to be Asian brands. I've also had luck from boutique-type stores.
Also, YES, the small from Forever 21 is getting bigger. I have a bodycon dress from them I bought a year ago and it fits so well, but I can't buy a small bodycon dress from them anymore. I can't even wear an extra-small bodycon dress from them. It's a goddamn sack. Who are they making these for?!
> be me
> be at training
> first day
> get there early, meet instructor
> put bag away
> look back
> the entire class is gone
> walk around for five minutes
> find class
> walk in on stretches
> damn it
> 'are you in cross country or track'
> do track
> is fun
> get a good workout
> get home
> look at email
> i am in cross country
How are you doing, miners?
We probably don't have the same fashion sense but I dress pretty dark and usually in black and white so the only shops I regularly buy from are Mango and Everlane. Boden is nice for their cardigans and sweaters sometimes but the rest is quite tacky to me.
Like I said, it'll cost you. All the other stores that sell xxxs and xxs are super high fashion shit for rich people who can afford a 500 dollar plain white t shirt.
Mango trousers fit me well and I'm a petite pear who looks shitty in literally every other brand. Their Paty skinny jeans are the only ones that don't make me look retarded, but their tops (shirts, cardigans) are always really big and boxy, even XS sizes. H&M is the other way around but I hate shopping there because their quality is godawful. Uniqlo's XS fits me well on top, but my arse is too big even for their S bottoms (even though it's not THAT big irl). Idk anymore.
I've been sleepy all day and now I'm finally in bed I've got a pounding headache and don't feel tired at all.
Life is suffering and death is worse.
I wonder if we should move this to /beauty/? I'd be interested in a more in-depth look at sizing in different shops. But I dress mostly in feminine/girly styles and light colors. This the silly thing I made for the farmer fashion thread on lolcow.
Mango looks up my alley. Thanks for the names.
The most I'll pay for anything is like $100 (tops, sweaters) and ~$300 (dress) for one article of clothing. I have a big girl job but I don't like to spend a godawful amount on clothing.
Heard one of my relatives called me anti-social after a recent visit. Sucks. Like, I won't deny I can be very nervous and asocial but when I put myself out there I don't want it to be visibly obvious. I try minding my body language but it's hard to control and it's difficult keeping up conversation when you don't know what to say most of the time. I feel like everything I do is wrong. And I know all I can do is keep trying and hope that eventually I'll improve but finding and making opportunities to socialize is something I'm still trying to figure out.
I don't know if I have a problem most short girls under 5'4 have but this is really bugging the crap out of me.
I lost 30 pounds and I hit a normal weight range. My waist size on paper is "small" (at 25-26") but I still look kind of pudgy and fleshy. When I wake up I don't have much of a belly but if i eat anything that isn't completely devoid of carbs or sugar my gut gets incredibly bloated throughout the day. It's even more noticeable now that I'm thinner.
I should be something like a size 4-6 now because of my waist but my hips have barely went down from my weight loss (from 41" to 39" or 38"). It's ridiculous.
It even pains me more because my sister is 2 inches taller than me and her weight and measurements are larger than mine but she still looks leaner and has a flatter tummy that doesn't immensely bloat with any food. What the fuck? She's inactive and eats like shit too. :/
Trying to start freelancing (programming) so I can eat more than just cheap noodles and veg after paying rent but people keep outsourcing to Raj in India because he's only charging £1 an hour.
You're probably just looking to vent but this is literally the definitely of skinnyfat. Just watch your carb intake, work out, or remember that in the morning, the bloat will be gone!
Also, unless you're hanging around your sister naked all day, she probably has the same problem unless she's extremely fit. Clothes hid a lot.
Shit, I work out all the time. 4-6 times a week. Cardio. Sometimes resistance training. Usually over an hour. I've been doing this for months.
I'm trying to shot for a lean look taller girls get when they're at lower weights but it's incredibly hard. Maybe it's too much to expect at 5'2, but I guess I'm being too hard on myself since I see a lot of girls around my height have that same look moreso than taller girls.
Pic example of 5'2 girl with 23" waist and her torso still looks kind of broad and fleshy. This is the problem I suffer.
Hi, Anon-chan! Stomach chunk/excess skin/bloating after meals has been my lifetime struggle too.
Look at it this way: losing the amount of weight that you have is a fantastic
accomplishment. Be proud of yourself! Avoid any "after meal checking" in mirrors if you can help it.
, don't stress too much, have a look in the morning, and try not to compare yourself to your sister; I feel you so hard though, I do. <3 Congratulations girl. Please keep your chin up!
Thanks the two of you, really. <3 It's hard to stop obsessing over it but its really damaging to me psychologically. Reducing my carb intake works quite a bit but I'd have to eat practically zero carbs for it not to bloat at all. Lol. Oh well
Oh I feel you anon. I'm 5'3 and "petite" but don't really look like it, at least not naked an from the front.
I guess the best thing you can do is maintain the weight and build some muscle underneath and lose the fat.
As for the carbs and stuff, could it be possible your're allergic to any of the stuff you eat so it makes you extra bloated? Or are you talking about normal bloat? Because yea, that happens and it really sucks.
I'm suicidal and being evicted from my apartment. I don't see any way to continue but I'm too much of a wuss to an hero so I guess I'll keep going.
You got this. Proud of you for sticking with it. May blessings come your way.
I used to bloat really, really, bad. The thing that helped me the most was having a glass of water after each meal, and a half a cup with every snack. I've noticed a complete difference since I've started doing this. Also for about a month and a half I've started having a tablespoon of organic apple cider vinegar in a glass of water in the morning, it tastes pretty nasty but I have noticed my stomach staying flatter and my skin breaking out a lot less. But be prepared if you're going to try the apple cider vinegar because for a couple of weeks my face broke out because it's supposed to detox you, and it lowered my blood sugar. But yeah as the other anon said If you want it completely flat your gonna have to just work out im skinnyfat myself.
HOLY FUCK. I can't deal with people who act like they're always the victim, especially when they make random assumptions of what you said because they're insanely insecure.
Reminder to myself: stop getting romantically involved with people who have serious emotional problems. You already have a lot of shit to carry, you don't need someone else's drama, and someone else's depression.
Let it be the last time, anon. You need to have good people in your life; people that you will have to emotionally help sometimes, because that's what significant others and friends do. Not someone who is addicted to pity parties, and being the victim. Someone who drains you all the time. That's not love, that's just being a selfish vampire.
I just feel so useless after dealing with depression and anxiety for several years now. I hit rock bottom this semester yet I still managed to get almost all straight As save for this one fucking bullshit class where I got an E.
I just feel like the biggest piece of shit right now.
You're doing an impressive job! Don't give up. Do you have professional help?
My little sister was raped in an alleyway a few months ago and I don't even know how I'm supposed to react to this right now. I don't even know what to think or feel.
The worst part is that when I was a child, I was sexually assaulted from ages 9 to 11 by my best friends father, and because of this my mother expects me to talk to her about it and I just can't. I can't even talk about my own abuse, I just make awkward jokes or try to convince myself that I imagined it all, that it was all just a child's fantasy. Nobody knows the actual scale of it, I've never told anybody, not even the police when my abuser was originally arrested. I just told them he got his dick out in front of me. Dude never even went to prison, even with the treasure trove of CP they found on his computer and multiple testimonies from other children. Actually, you know what the really worst part is? Even I don't even know the actual scale of it because I've managed to bury it so deep. All I can remember is that he touched me and that when the police came to interview me, I lied.
I'm supposed to be helping my sister and I'm not, I'm just ignoring everything. I'm 11 years old again, sitting in my living room with my head bowed to the floor, overwhelmed with shame, my mother wailing in the kitchen next door, and that blonde policewoman sitting across with me, with her clipboard, staring at me with those eyes that said "I'll never let this happen to my children".
If my misandry wasn't already at critical levels before it's since exploded to immeasurable proportions.
Semi-long vent incoming
I consider myself an online community nomad, meaning I jump from online community to online community depending on what interests I have at the present time and see what sticks.
The first online communities I joined were centered around video games and anime. As you can imagine, I'm very familiar with the community and how it works. I left it a couple times due to a mixture of a temporary loss of interest and annoyance towards most of the people in the community.
Now, I'm getting into video games again and tbh, certain video games and anime will always be in my heart because I grew up with them.
That being said, I'm lurking in a video game communities again and I feel very alienated. Many of the people there are (for lack of a better word) extremely toxic, conatarian, socially unaware, perverted, cynical, and uncomfortably bizarre. I can't find myself getting along with them IRL or online. Why do video game and anime communities attract a disproportionate amount of creepy assholes?
On a good note, I lurk amongst music and stan communities and they are ironically more entertaining and pleasant than anime and video game communities somehow lmao
Today it's my 20th birthday and i'm just so depressed about everything that this implies, because i haven't used this time to improve my life in the least.
I celebrated it with barely no one because i am a friendless shut-in (which i hate) and some of my family just doesn't care, and i'd rather they all did not because i do not want to celebrate something that makes me miserable.
A year ago, i made promises that by this birthday i would have improved in the least and stopped being a NEET.
I achieved not being a NEET but now i find it so difficult to study, my professors cannot stop complimenting how diligent and how amazing my grades are, but i just feel like i am not doing enough, that my grades are worse that what i can do and i just hate doing anything because i cannot find the motivation to move out of bed even though i want to get a career. I used to be a 9-10 student but now i am an 7-8 student, once i got a 6 and i almost gave up studying because i felt so useless.
I wasted most of my youth being bullied and then being a shut-in, i feel like my time left in which i can become something is barely there, i've just wasted my "golden years" being a NEET shut-in who spends her whole day playing videogames and exercising.
I can count on a hand how many times I've left the house in this time span, which makes me see how much of a piece of absolute useless shit i am. I've been pumping myself up all this year saying "tomorrow i will go outside and maybe i'll go shopping to the city" but i can never find the motivation to do so or shake the fear out.
The only thing that bring happiness to my life os my cat, but i cannot stop thinking that once he dies i will be completely alone with nothing i love once again and i just get so sad.
I've told my mother to contact a therapist and not tell me the date because all the other times she did tell me i just did not attend because i thought i was a hopeless case.
I want to get my shit together, but it is so difficult convincing your fucked up brain that you are not okay, so i must resort to trickery.
Hopefully, this year will be the year i make some friends and go outside thanks to therapy and the realisation that i'm in my 20's and youth is not eternal, or i might just kill myself lol.
Sorry for depressing woe is me rant, i just need to vent somewhere where no one know me kek
I feel like a loser, I worked hard to pass my finals and while I have more than enough to pass my semester when it comes to my actual grade, I can't because of some bullshit rules and I have to redo this semester next year. It's all because I couldn't have good grades on some specific subjects/courses for reasons that were completely out of my control (incompetent teachers that don't give us anything to study so tests are pretty much random, for example).
Meanwhile, the people who passed the exams I failed are all rich people who could afford going abroad to actually good universities thanks to their parents' money, as exchange students. I'm studying foreign languages so them going abroad helped them a lot because they got to practice a lot. They all think they're naturally talented and that I'm an idiot. It pisses me off so much, not only I am too poor to get out of my city, I have a bunch of other circumstances that aren't helping me when it comes to studying in general.
I don't want to be held back for a year and waste a whole year to go to only 30h of classes, I hate college so much. Just fuck this shit. It's like if you're poor and trying to improve your life things are made specifically to prevent you from succeeding.
I understand that "I'm 20 and I'm useless" despair. Happened to me too on my 20th. Be proud of the strides you have made. I believe in you.
I wanted to complain about spoiled brats in college overall, I guess I should have posted this on the college thread.
I don't even know what to say about this, anon. I just want to send a virtual hug. Hugs
this sounds like some shit I may
go through soon… fuck, anon. Sigh, best of luck.
You and me both Anon, but I appreciate so much that somebody took even a small amount of time out of their day to acknowledge my feelings. Thank you.
God I can't stand this one guy.
He acts like he's better than everyone but he's a fucking baby, like today he told me he saw a dude with pink hair and "wanted to insult him". Not only I don't give a fuck, but if you want to act like you're a smart and deep adult who reads philosophy then caring about others' appearances isn't the way, you fucktard.
He told me he can't go vegetarian/vegan because it's too expensive, which I respect (even though it's not much more expensive than being carnist if you do it smartly), but then berates me for not entirely boycotting a bunch of brands, says I'm unhealthy because I make sweets with coconut milk… Dude I'm sorry I'm not perfect but no one is. So fucking annoying.
His girlfriend is my friend and I really wonder what she sees in him. I feel like she deserves much better but it's not like he's talking shit about her or anything, he's just generally insufferable, so it'd be stupid to talk to her about it.
Ugh I can't wait to graduate and not be forced to have him talk to me anymore.
Now I just learned my mother has more and more health problems and that her treatments aren't working anymore or that they'll worsen her condition. It's all because of hereditary diseases too, so I'm worried for her and for me as well. If I get her disease, I'll become too disabled to have a job, my body will be more and more deformed and this will lead to chronic pain, it's horrible. I can't talk to anything like this to people I know irl, I'll either worry them or they'll say I'm exaggerating.
I don't even know if I should tell my friends about this, one of them keep complaining about things that aren't even problems all the time on our LINE convo. I'd feel out of place telling them I'm having an existential crisis over all this right after one of them complains that she went to a boring birthday party like someone tried to murder her there.>>312
Thanks anon.>this sounds like some shit I may go through soon…
Good luck to you too, it's stressful so I hope you're not going to be in this situation.
I keep telling a friend that I'm going through something very hard (she knows about the details) and need a lot of time to myself and am not feeling talkative. She always asks me to call or sleep over and I tell her I can't, and she gets mad. Whenever she messages me with her woes, I pay attention to her and try to help, I just don't contact her on my own.
She's been guilttripping me hard for this, in an aggressive way. She constantly complains about being lonely and depressed and acts like I'm the only one to blame for it when she literally lives with friends and goes to every con in the country. Meanwhile I'm going through the hardest time of my life, but according to her, I can't complain because at least I have a significant other. I'm so sick of her shit that the last time she called me out, I just ignored her completely.
>>323>he told me he can't go vegetarian/vegan because it's too expensive
I love it when dudes try to tell me how much more expensive my sautéed tofu and vegetable dish is compared to their $18 steak. Meat is extremely expensive, people really don't pay attention to shit do they?
I wish my boyfriend would keep his preferences about other women to himself. It's really taking a toll on my self confidence and mental health. That, compared to what I see on lolcow, and his general attitude towards women in general makes me feel worthless sometimes. I know I am attractive, in general sense, and am not ugly, but I feel awful being compared to other women. Why does he talk like this to me? We are ADULTS. I feel awful putting down other women to raise myself up. I don't know how to stop it.
He sounds like a dick and an oblivious one if he doesn't know this is bothering you.>I wish my boyfriend would keep his preferences about other women to himself.>his general attitude towards women in general makes me feel worthless sometimes
What kinds of things is he saying? Him mentioning these kinds of things in front of you is petty and would bother most people. You have every right to feel the way you do.
I try talking to people, but I don't know what to say. I try improving myself, only I mess it up either through arrogance or lack of effort. Nothing I do works out and I don't know if, approaching 23, I can be bothered any more. I feel so tired of everything.
Same thing here anon, except I'm turning 21 next month
I mean, there's still time for us, but yea, it really sucks especially if you have other girls that work with you or you're around them and they do it without trouble.
My own vent;
I wish I was more feminine. I am a girl, but I grew up with 1 brother, 3 cousins and 3 neighbours who were all male. I was a tomboy up until maybe a few years ago once I started to actually allow myself to like and do "girly" things.
I had a lot of internalized misogyny going on, but without thinking I was better than other girls, just…"different", you know the type. I grew up in a small town and not a lot of people shared my interests. Most guys did but we were still at the stage of "girls/boys are ew". So I ended up friendless for a long time, just doing what I did.
I'm actually thinking about somehow "learning" it? Sounds weird, I know. I just want to feel more feminine and less like a brute. Idk, I just dislike the way I talk and behave.
I'm going to stop here because my thoughts are scattering and I'm not sure how to even end this. Eeh
Ugh, yeah. I have no problem making conversation online since the person I'm talking to is also a fellow internet lurker, but irl, my mind goes blank. Everywhere I've worked, people start talking with ease and I end up looking like a weirdo who only speaks when spoken to. I've gotten treated like shit according to it because I didn't know that it was important to greet your boss so I've also ended up looking like a passive aggressive bitch.
Anyone have medical debt?
One of my bills went into collections and I feel like such an idiot.
I live in the UK and this has always been one of the aspects of private healthcare that absolutely horrifies me.
And you're not an idiot Anon, you're a person that happens to have fallen victim to a feckless system that prioritises profiteering above the health of its citizens.
Hey anon, if you are American and can't afford your medical bills, and they were from an emergency room, you can usually speak with the hospital and get the amount reduced.
I received a $20,000+ medical bill from the E.R. and they reduced it to $500. I just had to fill out some forms through billing.
I dunno if it helps, but every girl learns how to be feminine, most just start at an earlier age, so it's not too late for you to get there too!
Really? Mine were for an ambulance, ER, and doctor fees. I've already paid off most of it but one is in collections. Do they require proof of income?
’m honestly tired of “meme culture” and all the edgy lukewarm depression faux nihilist attitude that comes with it. It seems like everyone from 14-30 just posts about how pizza is their only friend or “real depression hours” “I do it for the memes” and shit like that. I’m not even mad that memes exist, but my brain just glazes over whenever someone even mentions the word these days.
Before I could get a breather by getting off the computer since talking about memes irl was cringey but now everyone just talks about memefeed’s newest top ten memeiest memes found on memey internet meme machines or literally just repeats some meme they saw and try to pass it off as their own jokes.
Meme culture will never stop feeling bizarre and off to me, since I learned about memes from shit like longcat or fuck yeah seaking or whatever was popular on /b/ a decade ago. They're lame as fuck, obviously, but I'm so used to thinking of memes as silly private inside jokes for parts of the internet that normal people don't go to, like 4chan or SA. The fact that memes as a concept have become so mainstream and normal that I hear old people talking about them will never stop feeling weird. They're so meta and self aware too, which I honestly find pretty funny a lot of the time but it's just odd to see how they've changed.
It sucks being the quiet one. You're either being pulled into conversations you have no option on or being talked over mid-sentence. Or a combination of those two, where you're dragged into a conversation, then interrupted and ignored. Fuck off.
I really hate being talked over. I'd say it's my own fault because I struggle to find good timing to contribute to a conversation and I'm not entertaining enough to make people pay attention, but it just makes me never want to talk again. Better to keep quiet and let people think you're awkward than to open your mouth and remove all doubt, I guess.
>>386>>386>edgy lukewarm depression faux nihilist attitude
Ugh, is that what it's called? It's so boring. I hate it. Sometimes I wish I was of my parent's generation (70s-80s) because they seemed more exciting and actually went places
Glad I'm mot the only one that feels that way
AGH. I wanna fucking scream. I have really bad cramps and I wanna punch someone in the face. It's never so bad like this. fuck.
>have pretty big abandonment issues
>bf goes out on a coffee with a friend (that usually takes him for 2 or mor hours)
>don't want to ask where and with who
>don't want to feel controling
>freaking out slowly
I hate this. I hate this so so so much. We had issues and I'm doing my best to trust him but my anxiety is killing me and making me go into overdrive.
My LDR bf of about one and a half years just admitted to me that he doesn't know what my interests or hobbies are, and feels like he doesn't really know me. I know it's an LDR so it's not a ~real relationship~ but I still feel crushed about it. I'm super inexperienced with relationships so maybe I'm naive and overreacting but I don't know.
I feel evil as fuck and I hate it. Someone I know may have a STD (they're going to try to find out this week) and I'm secretly kinda happy because of how they hurt me so fucking much in the past, so I feel like this is some kind of revenge.
But … This person didn't hurt me on purpose… at least as far as I know, which is the main reason why I feel guilty.
I really don't want them to have a STD, but I am secretly enjoying seeing them suffer because of the doubt and stress. I comforted them today, but I was laughing inside… I feel so horrible.
It's hard to express the feelings inside me right now.
My mother just asked me to pay $1,200 for her taxes, and I said that I would give it to her on the condition that she stop impulse buying and taking so many vacations. (She says they're for her mental health but compared to other min wage jobs she could be working she could be so much more stressed) She flips out and starts acting like I'm some sort of monster for setting rules like this. I just don't understand. Never once in her life has she been financially independent or even tried to be (college dropout multiple times) but she feels so entitled sometimes and we always end up fighting whenever she tries to bring up the subject of money to me. I know I should help her because she raised me but I'm not exactly well off either.
wtf no, you don't owe her for being born. I can think of no possible scenario where a mother asking her daughter for that kind of cash is acceptable and on top of that she's mad at you for setting boundaries? A child shouldn't even have to set boundaries with their parents. I would be incredibly ashamed to receive money from my own child no matter how bad my situation was.
That is not normal behaviour. She needs to get help and NOT from you.
I have a customer card for Sephora and used it everytime I went there, so often enough to have at least one reduction for the next time I go shopping in Sephora. I was curious so I checked the store's website, I can't create an account thanks to my card for some reason so I created one with my email address and then I connected my card to my online account. Turns out I barely have any of the points I'm supposed to have (more than 150 points for sure). I'm doing my best to get discounts and price reductions whenever I can because I'm poor and it doesn't even work.
I sent a message to whoever should help me on the website, I'm so pissed off by all of this. So much for making an effort and trying to use makeup and skincare products more often…
I'm going to fucking scream and puke and puke and scream.
I've been living in student accommodation for the last year for university, with 2 boys and 1 other girl as my flatmates, and the 2 boys live like, I don't even know what. For the last year they've been leaving all their shit around the kitchen, dirty plates, old, rotten food, trash on the surfaces even when the bin is literally 2 feet away. They never wash their shit, they never hoover the floor, wipe down the kitchen surfaces, takes out the bins, buy sponges, buy washing up liquid, clean the microwave, clean the oven. Nothing. For the last year it's just been me and the other girl cleaning up whilst they've hidden away in their rooms.
Well one of the other boys vanished halfway through the year and never came back, the other girl has been home for a month visiting her family, and it's just been me and the other boy. It got so bad that I actually decided I was going to stop using the bin and start putting everything in the bin I have in my room instead, thinking that sooner or later he'd be forced to take it out instead. Oh how naive I was. Two weeks ago I swaggered back from drinking with friends, went into the kitchen to grab some drunk grub (potato smiley faces aw ye), walked past the bin… walked backwards… "what-what the fuck is that? Is that a mirage? How much did I drink exactly".
Nope. It's a bed of maggots on top of he bin. Wriggling.
I went ballistic, and the little fucker tried to worm his way out of any responsibility until I pointed out, hey, fuck you, A. I don't use that bin, and B. I'm vegan. Flies don't lay on fucking lettuce you debauched cretin.
Even THEN he refused to take the bin out, he just left it there. A few days later the maggots all turned into pupae and I finally went down to the office with photos and they ended up taking it out and he got fined. You'd have thought he'd have learned his lesson, but no, it actually got worse. IT GOT WORSE. Instead of behaving like a normal person and putting a new liner in the post-maggot bin, he put a plastic Tesco bag on the kitchen surface and started putting all his rubbish in there instead, including out of date food. I thought that sooner or later he'd take it out, but no, the bag kept expanding and growing taller until all the trash was almost spilling out over the handles. And then he vanished. I haven't seen him in 2 weeks.
Now for those of you outside the UK, we've just had a massive heatwave, the hottest June since 1976. I thought SURELY he's going to come back and clean this shit up? Well, I checked in at the office 20 mins ago, he hasn't fobbed in since the 15th, and that bag is beginning to smell unholy. I can't even use the kitchen at this point it's so bad, so I relent. I'll take it out this ONE time and when he gets back I'm going to tear him a second shithole.
So, I grab the bag by the handles, and from within I hear within the angry buzzing of flies.
"Oh no. Please. Please no."
I lift the bag up gently, and at once the bottom drops out, and onto the surface is spewed a flood of thick, brown, syrupy, mucousy slime and more wriggling maggots, and in an instant my nostrils are assaulted by a stench so foul I can't even find the appropriate words.
I ran out the flat with my hands clamped against my face trying not to vomit all the way down to the office. They've since come and collected it for me and even they had to come back with face masks, it was THAT bad. He's been fined again, and in all likelihood is not going to see his £200 deposit.
Fuck you Adam you literal piece of garbage. Fuck you. You belong in that fucking Tesco stench trench.
I keep getting on arguments on facebook and making an ass of myself because I'm not very good at finding sources so I just stop replying because even if I write a response I won't have anything to properly back it.
Holy shit Anon. I feel better about my dirty chinese roomies now.
Good thing he got fined.
> paid cosplay photog to take photos of me
> well-known, has great portfolio, and great reputation
> shoot goes without any problems
> tells me it will take a week
> week passes, not a peep from photog
> photog goes on week vacation out of country
> posts photos of shoot they did with bigger named cosplayer before they left
> their shoot took place a day or two before photog left
> mfw they have time to shoot and edit a bunch of photos but still have not received mine back yet
> photog turns off FB page messaging
> that was our means of communication
> give benefit of doubt and assume they will turn it back on once they return
> another week passes
> still not turned back on
> decide to send an e-mail
> 24hrs and no response
> wonder if maybe photog is spending a longer vacation
> lurk their friends' fbs
> nope photog is back and home and spending time with friends
> mfw photog is on social media
> mfw it's been a few days since my e-mail
> mfw I'm getting the feeling they are purposely ignoring me
> mfw I just spent $200+ for this shoot
> mfw I have no face
I'm just upset because I can't get a refund or charge back because of the way I sent it via PayPal. That's my fault and at this point I am coming to terms that I just wasted $200+ and will probably not get any photos back. I just wish they would reply and at least acknowledge my e-mail. It sucks because this photog is friends with big name cosplayers and I really expected them to be professional. :/
>>478>I'm just upset because I can't get a refund or charge back because of the way I sent it via PayPal
What way was it that you sent it via Paypal? Because even if it was paid under the gift option you can still initiate a chargeback.
If I were you Anon I'd send him a threatening email tonight, and if he doesn't respond within a day you head down to your bank on Monday and talk to them about initiating chargeback proceedings.
I agree with >>481
, threaten to drag him publicly if you need to, you should have the messages from planning the shoot, right?
Can I? I saw a lot of threads saying that if it's sent via Gift, PayPal can't investigate the charge. :( I do have the messages, though, and everything is time stamped, so if I can go to my bank and get them to reverse it, I'll do that.
I was gonna give him the weekend before sending another e-mail. A part of me is still hoping that he's just lazy af and unprofessionally slow, but I'm also scared to make too many waves via public dragging because I'm still new to the community. Lend me your strength, Anons!!!
I'd post about this on /cgl/ as well, if you haven't. They might have some good advice for you.
Did you sign any contracts at all?
Nope, we didn't sign any contracts.
Well, at least in twenty years you'll be able to tell friends and true crime authors about the time Jeffery Dahmer 2.0 was your flatmate.>>478
Have some people beat him up.
Id name and shame the shit out of this guy. Try on /cgl/ and fb groups as well. With getting some backlash he might give you the photos in the end.
Suicidal anon from upthread here. >>273
I lost my apartment and my social worker is moving me into a group home for people with mental health problems like mine to teach them how to adult.
That's great tbh. Sounds like just the thing you need? Do you know if you'll have full internet access there? If so, keep us posted anon!
I can do that, thank you for the interest.
I'm tired of the radicalism (from all sides) and general oversaturation the internet has brought. I don't know how the future will be
I was talking to someone about this the other day but truthfully I say social media is more to blame than "the internet".
When you look at the history and origins of the internet, it's wonderful. Good way to share data and knowledge. But social media is definitely messing us up man. Society relies on us to feel insecure for a lot of reasons (mostly selling us stuff) but added counters for popularity is another level.
On a positive note I think people will give up on social media like that and opt for things like amino where it's less personal and stuff so people are ok with having one like on a photo of their sandwich
You might like the Peach app, it's much more anonymous as well. >>>/media/515
Why are stupid, crappy, negative emotions so much easier to experience and remember than lovely, happy ones? Why do I only feel the slightest din of pride when mum says she's proud of me, but when I think maybe someone might not like me for a thing I said, I feel waves of embarrassment and shame sixteen stories high? Stupid human brain, it's terrible.
You know, you're right. I recall the days of the internet before social media & while I remember this was a time where the internet was still regarded as something only "nerds" do it felt far more detached from real life consequences. Now people are bringing bullshit into real life where it should stay on the internet.
I really don't like the fact that people are bringing their social media tiffs into real life, like tumblrinas or Twitter 'activists' (proper SJWs, not a blanket term for all leftists) calling someone's work and having them fired for posting a [vaguely] racist/sexist/transphobic comment on their profile. Yes, that person is stupid for posting it under their real name for sure, but it's usually something idiotic and inconsequential to begin with and it feels too much like little kids tattling to their mommy because their brother called them fat or something.
Idk, I grew up on the social media-less internet and have sort of held onto the mentality that the two should stay separate. I get if it's actually impacting someone's real life, like revenge porn, receiving death threats, stuff like that, but if it's just "Bobby said something mean on the internet, fire him!!" I automatically side with the perpetrator even if I disagree with them because it's such a childish thing to do.
I keep obsessing over the past, especially things that I shouldn't really care about anymore because they were out of my control when they happened. It's all a mix of sadness, low self-esteem, jealousy and loneliness.
I fucking hate this.
I feel like this is eating my soul and I don't want to let this happen. I want to change the bad things in my personality (holding grudges, overthinking things that shouldn't matter in the present, etc). And man… I don't want to conform and accept "who I am". I wanna improve. I want to change these bad traits and become more lighthearted again, a little more carefree and forgiving, and allow myself to be free, you know? I want to better myself, not just accept who I am because who I am is fucking destroying my own peace of mind.
BUT… HOW? How do I do that…?
>get involved with a fuckboy
>make out with him
>he tries to sleep with me
>tell him I'm the kind of person that doesn't do casual dating and wants a serious relationship
>he tells me he only wants some "fun"
>gets awkward and I get home later
>can't stop thinking about his stupid face
How to either control my feelings or how to convince someone to commit to a relationship? I'm so angry at myself as I repeat my same mistakes over and over.
Small steps anon. You identified the problem, which is a good start. What helped me the most was to notice that I'm thinking negative thoughts and then turn them around on purpose. I admit I still feel silly or dumb thinking positive like that but it really does help.>>547
Try to think rational. It's difficult, but easier than convincing someone to enter a relationship while they said the just want "fun"
I agree with you. Sometimes it works out for the best because sometimes the person is really fucking shitty (ie. DaddyOfive)
But yeah mostly I think its a very childish thing to do.
I also blame the person a bit for doing that though under their real name. People are so free with what they share publicly, I dont understand it at all. I use fake names everywhere and never post with my legal name. If you google my actual name you get 2 pages of google which have nothing to do with me, and are only results with my relatives with the same last name. I really try my best to be private online and I dont understand why more people dont do this
Like the other anon said, you just gotta take baby steps and make an effort to change the way you think. It's really hard but it's worth it in the end.
I used to be very insecure, jealous, had a lot of self-loathing, etc. but I found that actively correcting myself when I was being negative really helped. It sounds silly, but I found making myself smile help a lot.
In my experience, the mantra "fake it till you make it" is true.
UPDATE: Photog e-mailed me back, said they had gone on another vacation, so I should be expecting the pictures this week.
We'll see if they follow through. Thanks for letting me vent, Anons!!
I keep fantasizing about hanging myself.
Please always treat yourself like you would treat your best friend.
I know it's hard and seems impossible to defeat, but trust me: you will get better. Please seek help, if you can't do it alone.
Knowing that I'll finis the game eventually is making me really really sad. I know I'll feel the same thing you feel once you finish an awesome book or show.
Damn this sucks so much. It's usually why I avoid single player games. And I wish the DLCs weren't 15 euro each.
I'm about to cut off a friend instead of trying to fix it, I think we're just incompatible. I have a hard time standing up for myself and she's abrasive and ignores my setbacks. I'm chronically ill and struggle with being a NEET but she gets mad if I don't want to hang out because I'm in a lot of pain and can barely feed myself. All she talks about is fandom stuff and complaints. When she asks how I am, and I tell her I've been feeling terrible, she brushes it off either by saying I've looked worse or by telling me what I should do about it. I'm so done. I could tell her I don't appreciate how patronising she is, but what's the point? I'd rather just move on.
I wish I could cheer all of you up. Here's a cute Pudu
SMUG BASTARD DEER! LEAVE ME ALONE! ;_;
I can't wait for the semester to be over so I can graduate and start new things.
Thanks guys. I'm gonna do that. I really need to change and stop being my own enemy.
one of my oldest friends moved to another province for work a few years ago, and now i see him one day out of the year. he just left and i'm heartbroken </3 i miss him so much
My cat has a bad infection but the only place I can take her to is closed until Wednesday for renovations. All I can do is hope she holds out until then and make sure she eatd and drinks. She's alwsys been a delicate flower type so I don't have much hope and I'm just trying to keep myself together. If the vet was open right now I could rush her in no problem but it's not and holy shit why'd she have to get sick when it's closed. At first she had a minor infection and that got better but she got into something and this one is bad. She'll need antibiotics I don't have so I'm at loss.
I'm so frustrated right now.
My therapist has two offices. One is easily accessible by public transit and close to me, the other is significantly farther and requires a bus transfer. I was supposed to see her in the closer office but somehow the schedule got messed up and I ended up at her farther office.
Because I can't drive, I've been taking Uber to and from appointments, which has been costing me an extra $150 every month. I'm getting into a real tight spot in terms of money, so I want to cut down as much as I can, but busing is 3 hours out of my day that can't be spent working on my resume or applying to jobs or working on self improvement. (and realistically, long bus rides with transfers like that cause me so much stress that I'm pretty much out of commission for the day after that anyway) For a while I was justifying the costly rideshares by saying it's better to spend the money now and be productive that day rather than save money and hinder my ability to job search, but now I'm feeling more unsure.
I've seen my therapist for a year now and she keeps saying that if a spot opens up at the closer office she'll give it to me but I can't help but feel like I've been forgotten because it's been SO LONG there's no way not even one spot has opened.
Should I give my therapist an ultimatum? Is there something productive I could be doing on the bus?
Lots of people always say they're socially awkward but a lot of the time I think they mean they're just shy and don't know what to say.
Me being social awkward is the fact I'm super extroverted and hyperactive so I just constantly want to have a conversation with people but I end up just rambling about dumb shit and then later I'll get sad because I know people are probably mega annoyed at me and probably think I'm a dickhead or something but I'm just used to constant noise and talking and silence makes me paranoid and weird
are you me…? I overshare like crazy because I'm desperate to give people the 411 so they can decide if they like me or not already. Of course that doesn't really work the way I think. lol
I can relate to this. If I really like someone, I'll end up talking nonstop about shit they don't care about and end up oversharing stories or details of my life especially if what I'm talking about is something I really like. Afterwards, I regret it all, become mildly embarrassed, and think about how they probably think I'm an annoying, clingy loser. I also get paranoid that whoever I'm chatting with is talking behind my back and making fun of me to someone else while spilling out our private conversation.
I end up talking so much only because it's so addicting and stimulating since I lack any sort of actual friends or social life. I'm ignored pretty often so when someone pays attention to me or wants me around, it gives me a happy feeling. Too happy, and it affects me like a drug. It's pretty funny how I can become a social butterfly instead of anxious despite the extreme lack of social interaction in my life.
I have a friend from Scotland who was supposed to fly out yesterday with his family to NYC. They were doing a family trip and I'm an hour away. We've been friends for about a year and I was going to take my boyfriend and go see him there for just one day. His appendix burst, he only told me on snapchat and i haven't gotten any updates but he was in the hospital in Scotland so he's ok hopefully.
Just bummed out now since my boyfriend and I are still going, but I was hoping to meet up with him too and have fun in Times Square and shit. Kind of unsure what to do. I think when we go, we're going to print out his face and take it around with us, snap some photos, and send it to him in the mail and talk about missing him. We live near Philadelphia so I picked him up a Paddy's pub shirt, was going to give it to him but I'll send it in the mail too. Just an unfortunate circumstance. >>579>>600
It's ok to ghost anon, or to tell people you hate them. >>599>>600
hope you anons & your cat are doing better.
I hate the 4th of July. All the damn fireworks scare the cats and my neighbors bring their shitty kids and family over. The ones who come in my yard and throw all their trash and firework remnants in it and then tease any animal in sight cause "haha so funny that cat is so dumb". I miss the year we had a drought because no one was allowed to light any fireworks at the risk of starting a big fire from all the dry grass n trees.
Not really a huge vent I just hate this time of year because of how noisy it is and all the rude people it brings out.
I have to move in two months
I only have 2k saved up. Although I'm living with my boyfriend I'm scared I'm going to fail and end up on the street.
I've already decided to camwhore and phone sex for more money and my boyfriend is fine with it but It just feels bad.
I have agoraphobia and other mental illnesses and I can't keep a job longer than a week because of it. I'm going to go to culinary school next year and open up my own cafe.
I'm so worried I'll fail and each day it eats at me more.
It's been 1 month since I started my first job and I'm so glad I finally got this job. We're mostly students working for the summer and young people so everyone's is acting familiar to each other and I like most of my coworkers, but I feel like compared to everyone I seem really socially awkward. I can't participate in conversations as easily and naturally as everyone else, and it makes me a bit uncomfortable. I'm bad at communicating with others and I thought having this job would help me improve but that's not really the case yet. Also, the costumers are annoying pieces of shit. I've got a lot of patience and can stay super polite no matter what but I've only seen customers that stupid and annoying in the store where I work. Although, no matter how much I complain, I'm glad I have more money, something to do during the day now that college is over and something interesting to put on my resume.
Not directly related to this but a bunch of coworkers were shocked when I told them that I'm 23, and legit thought I was barely 18. It was some days ago but I can't stop thinking about it and wondering if some of them were treating me like an idiot because of that, since they assumed I was younger than them and thus immature. It's pissing me off.
And something else too, I'm sad that my friends are becoming more and more borderline neets. We're not hanging out together anymore because they're too lazy to do anything, and I'm quoting. They're almost bragging about it so when I told them I got a job, instead of saying anything postive they kept telling me they wouldn't even want to do it for almost an hour anf that they wpuld pass out from the heat or some other stupid reason. Bitch I'm poor, I don't have a choice. Goddamn, I want to hang out with them and talk about stupid fujoshi stuff but at the same time I would be more disappointed in them I think.
I hear you. The sound of the fireworks get on my nerves sometimes and I feel real bad for my cat because he gets so nervous. This holiday is just an excuse to act like a loud animal and get drunk with the fam. I live on a slight hill in my neighborhood and everyones backyards are sort of facing each other so everyone just tweaks on you and all the firework sparks end up in all our backyards lmao
I don't know if I'm getting more sensitive but I feel like I'm seeing a lot more vicious racism online than in the past and I’m tired of it. I'm the farthest thing from a rabid ~SJW~ and I’m definitely not new to the internet or chan culture as I’ve been browsing image boards for over a decade now, but the sheer amount of vitriol and nazi propaganda being regurgitated has left me with a really bitter taste in my mouth. It’s literally impossible to escape alt-right retards and their stupid buzzwords because they literally pop up fucking everywhere (I’ve heard the terms Anti-White and Cultural Marxism being used by your average middle aged white Republicans on Facebook…) Seriously, I don’t even remember it being this bad during /b/’s infamous heyday. Usually whatever racism there was super juvenile and simplistic like repeating the same racial slur 10 times in all caps.
All of this shit is leading me to think our political/cultural “climate” is changing for the worse. In general, the internet can reflect some of humanity’s darkest thoughts and feelings and it can also predict where things may be headed. I really hope I’m wrong because I really don’t want their talking points be normalized and I definitely don’t want to be subjected to more Stormfuckery. Even when I’m trying to browse random sites I swear some nazi-tainted comment sneaks its way into my experience and ruins my mood for awhile. Like, I get it, you think all non-whites are subhuman “shitskins" and there should be a pure white ethno-state inhabited by only blonde mustard people. But I don’t know why you’re bringing that up on a twitter thread about milkshake recipes. I just wish they’d go jerk off to their IQ charts on Stormshit or nazichan and leave me the fuck alone.
I gotta vent about the same thing.
I hate that we have to preface our dislike of racism with "I'm not a SJW" because for fucks sake, being racist is not a good or neutral thing and you're not "from tumblr" for having that opinion. Like of course you don't have to be a mindless trend-following idiot to believe in equality. it's part of conservative tactics to portray their enemies as hysterical and SJWs have given them SO much fodder to shut down any conversations we could have about it.
on the subject of /b/, I read this the other day and I found it interesting https://medium.com/@DaleBeran/4chan-the-skeleton-key-to-the-rise-of-trump-624e7cb798cb
Like, I think he's right in what he says about internet culture being purely reactionary rather than a reflection of society but yeah, sad times either way.
I think so much of the left and right's problem at the moment is a preoccupation with identity politics. Am I oppressed, have I witnessed a crime by a minority, what extremely long name can I give to MY political leanings. Like, most keyboard warriors of any kind base their whole world view on the tiny slice of life that they've lived and surprisingly that doesn't represent global or even national events and circumstances. Everyone is getting their "information" from unofficial, uncited news sites because no one trusts the media because "of course no one is talking about THIS obscure event smh" or "The media's agenda is to hide the truth from us!" when any journo will tell you that the news is tailored to what people want to know about. It's supply and demand and we are largely demanding pap.
Anyway, conservatives have always been at least casually racist and it didn't used to be a radical act to go "Woah there, that is awful. You just said that blank
people are stereotype
which is a fucking stereotype, you racist dink".
Unfortunately we have to be emotionless and made of steel to combat this now or we'll be accused of being hysterical SJW snowflakes.
>at a party
>Guy corners me in a one on one conversation that's completely one sided
>It really feels like he's hitting on me but he's old enough to be my dad and it seems like it'd be rude to accuse him of that
Why does this always happen, I'm so freaking done. I don't want to have to navigate this social mine field anymore.
You shouldn't worry about that, lots of people appreciate it when someone is talkative and bubbly.
I survived a super bad relationship and finally healed and decided to trust someone again.
So I slept with a cute guy, he tells me afterwards that he's not ready for a relationship yet and we should keep things casual.
After being kinda ghosted the previous week I get a text that he decided to get back to his Ex because he actually just wanted to have "fun" and nothing serious.
Why can't I just be sexually attracted to girls? I wish I could be lesbian in a cute and loving relationship without craving dick because men are trash.
Do you guys think we could have a thread about this?
I wasn't really on the internet in the years 2011-2013. Then I got a computer in summer 2014 and the feminist movement had already become a huge thing. Initially I was conflicted because I thought manspreading and mansplaining were kind of dumb political issues to represent the movement. I definitely identified as anti-feminist for a while, especially since I mostly saw privileged white girls bitching about mundane things for attention.
But over the last 3 years, the political sphere has changed dramatically. I've learned about Intersectionalism which I completely agree with, I mean I don't even see how its debatable that some people are worse off based on socio economic class and heritage. We're easily willing to admit that happens in other countries, but how dare we point out the very real systemic problems that keep certain demographics from progressing within our own country? What is sociology?
I'm outright terrified of the racism I've encountered since Trump got elected. I do fear for my loved ones and even myself.
When I was like 5 years old, I told my dad that I didn't understand how racism was so prevalent in the 1900's. He told me that just because our society seemed more stable/reasonable now, doesn't mean it wouldn't take very little to disrupt that illusion of peace and send us right back into chaos over race wars. He was completely right.
I didn't even know or understand that there were literal white supremacists who want an ethnostate for themselves up until this year. I've listened to Richard Spencer's opinions of minorities, read up about other trump affiliates, researched the growing statistics of white nazi groups reaching more popularity by the day.
Quite frankly it makes me want to kill myself. I feel like the bad guys won and I don't know where to look for hope in the world.
Don't worry anon girls are trash too.
I have an ex girlfriend and an ex boyfriend and they probably added like 5 years in therapy each.
I was best friends with a girl who was in a long term lesbian relationship. Then one day she broke it off because she wasn't "sexually attracted to her anymore.". Afterwards she manipulated and slept with so many people while still leading on her poor ex. Later I also found out she used our platonic relationship to make her gf jealous (I'm straight). We ended up drifting apart because I thought she was despicable and I was horrified to be friends with a girl who did worse than most promiscuous makes I knew.
It took me forever to finish that article but it was a really interesting read. Obviously being apart of chanculture myself, I've felt
similar to the author and had similar ideas about this mish mash of a conflict but it's fascinating to see it put into words with a timeline breakdown and everything. Thanks for sharing.
I think the SJW movement and feminism and gay rights have all become a pathetic convoluted caricature of what it actually was made for.. we have rallies and protests because people are literally getting killed in hate crimes.
but now its anyone so far from ever being in danger who slaps on whatever pointless labels they can. A straight white girl suddenly becomes a fluid plantgender arospec demisexual with 2% cherokee dna? And feminism has shifted from helping abused single moms or indian acid victims escape, to the fact that rich girls hate being mocked for their "pro slut sex positive" selfies? its all such an absolute joke.
on a tangentially related note, i wish tumblr would somehow go back to being just millennials. generation y has made it irreparably annoying and terrible with their identity bullshit that i've started blocking teens who follow me if they tag my lesbian posts like "#lgbtqiadp+" or "#QUILTBAG". ive had to change my URL twice because saying asexualiity is fake makes me an "violent aphobic evil oppressive monosexual" and they send dumbass anons in droves.
honestly at this point, anyone over 22 still on there just tolerates the fact that they really did steal the site in 2012 and replaced the arts and fan community with their embarrassing worthless politics. I'd delete if all the friends I've known for 5 years there would move to twitter or insta.
Lesbian relationships aren't the pinnacle of happiness, anon. We have pretty awesome sex but were still just normal, flawed, human people with the same issues as men
You realize millennials and generation Y are defined as the same thing right?
So you're simply a person in your late 20s or older who hates teens? I think you have a skewed view of Tumblr's original user base. I was a preteen when tumblr was founded, still an early teen when I started using the site in 2009 and I'm now in my early 20's. From my point of view, it was always a teen site since it was introduced to me by my school friends irl and all the blogs I interacted with seemed to be other teens at the time.
Whereas at this point in my life, I know tons of lgtbq/artist-type people in their early 30's who cling to tumblr like no tomorrow.
So it's not an age thing, teens didn't suddenly ruin the site and adults certainly will not make it better. It just created its own internet demographic which clearly attracts different age groups.
Wait… are you upset that people are calling you aphobic for denying the existence of asexuality?
No, there's a distinction between kids who had most of their socialization in the late 80s-90s and the kids who were toddlers in the 90s and grew up in iphone culture; our little brothers and sisters. Millennials are 35-22 and gen y is 21-13. I'm 23 and I don't hate teens at all, I do follow some really cool 18 year olds on there. I just hate the obnoxious gender anxious ace fluid culture all over the site and wanted to vent about it.>other teens at the time
That's what I mean. It was a teen site when we found it, and now the kids who were in school in 2009 are high schoolers/freshies now, so instead of the site growing with us its getting shared with them. I know its petty, but I wouldn't be so annoyed if they wouldn't be so incredibly stupid about identity and politics, or at least keep it to themselves>>734
it DOESNT exist, its just that different people have a different opinion about sex. everyone distanced from or uncomfortable with sex isn't in need of a new label, you're still just gay, straight, or bi and that's the only real function sexuality has in society. its absolutely useless to name a weird feeling about something as a new sexuality. theres no such thing as "aphobia" because asexuals aren't an oppressed group and have no history, they're just bored nerds who went online and found a new label to stick onto themselves.
What do you get out of trying to invalidate people's identities? Not wanting sex as an adult is a really hard thing to accept about yourself in some places. Being able to talk to other people who feel the same way about sex is a really important thing to help us avoid stupid or dangerous situations.
Oh my god there is no point of whether something is "valid" or not its just.. not a real thing. If you don't like sex you have a chemical imbalance or a type of trauma or have a badly undeveloped sexuality or some other issue, it doesn't have to be labeled and theres no reason in clinging to it as "identity". You can talk about sex and relationships however you want without making such an annoying thing out of it.
You seriously come off as though you're just getting old and bitter about it. I'm only younger than you by a year but jesus your mental age is showing.
>you're still just gay, straight, or bi
Once upon a time being gay or bi wasn't a "real thing" that was "valid". That changed in the 80's due to ~annoying activists~ who were relentlessly loud and proud. Eventually it bled into the mainstream thanks to people like Madonna and Prince but you know damn well that took decades to change the stigma around the concept orientation. To this day many baby boomers are still uncomfortable with basic same-sex relationships.
Fast forward to now and people like you are losing their shit over social norms shifting towards acceptance of people who identify as the opposite gender, or non-binary, or asexual etc. You're simply uncomfortable because the rug is being pulled out from under your feet. Everything you were taught as a kid that was considered black and white ("girls are girls, boys are boy") is being questioned and that threatens your sense of security.
When the younger generation introduces their own modern day social issues, you feel unstable because you like to believe everything was fought for in the past and we've moved beyond our problems as a society (same as when slavery was long abolished before those pesky kids started questioning segregation) but the truth is that cultural issues progress over time. Life isn't so simple as a 'case closed' scenario. Social issues will forever be ongoing and compounds over previous history.
The new age sexual identity/orientation thing didn't come out of nowhere. It wasn't born out of tumblr. It was an inevitable progression of our society and it won't disappear. The next generation will be even worse, and the next one after that will be unfathomably opposed to our current standards and values etc.
p.s calling someone mentally ill or abnormal is what old folks do to dismiss conversations they're incapable of wrapping their heads around or annoyed when they must consider different opinions.
It's almost like my sexuality is badly undeveloped as a direct result of archaic ideas about sex like "anyone who doesn't want sex has something badly wrong with them", which sounds a lot like "in order to prove that there's nothing wrong with you, it's necessary that you have sex"
I wonder why it's so hard for me to develop my unique sexuality when my sex life is tied so tightly to stressful things such as my validity as a woman or whether I have something deeply wrong with me either physically or psychologically, or when people keep trying to insist that my modes of attraction are made up for attention and that I should just stick to gay straight or bi?
It's already terrible to claim that all asexuality is caused by trauma or illness, but it's also pretty short sighted to say that anyone's sexuality that's ever been influenced by these things suddenly aren't real.
you know what you kids just have fun with your useless labels. I can vent on my tumblr about it lmao
>>741>Incapable of responding to posts that are well thought out>Responds immaturely with gifs>Y-YOU CHILDREN!!!!1
lmao bye anon
Feeling sad and hopeless.
>Boyfriend won't let me leave the house to walk 5 minutes to the store because it's getting dark and it's dangerous, despite me living in the city alone for 3 years and I am a full-grown woman.
>Someone telling me I need to gain at least 20 lbs on /cgl/.
I hate everything.
You mean gen z, not gen y. At 23 you're basically on the cusp of millenial/post-millenial so idk why you're so butthurt anyway. Give your tumblr friends an email address and just leave that shit behind.
I'm moving out of my student accommodation today and into a temporary flatshare with my boyfriend and I'm feeling really anxious about the whole arrangement. I've been living independently since I was 15, which actually suits me just fine because I'm a super introverted person who values her personal space A LOT. I don't know what it's going to be like living with 3 other people (all men), not being able to stay up however late I want, talk noisily on Discord, boil the kettle for some dank tea at 3:00 in the morning, dance around my room to garbage music etc. What's worse is that he's in employment and I'm unemployed, and although I know he's really hype for me moving in with him because he needs emotional support, I do feel like we're both going to end up resenting each other a bit. He'll resent me for for being a worthless NEET, and I'll resent him because I'll feel like he's invading my space all the time.
I really need to get my shit together and stop being a literal womanchild.
I hate the fact that I have to preface anything with "not an SJW LOL I SWEAR" but for some reason it has to be done. I consider myself a person with slight leftist leanings, and though some of the extremist tumblr shit turns me way the fuck off, I can still empathize with human beings who have received the shit end of the stick for centuries on end. "Racism is bad" shouldn't be a controversial statement, but nowadays it seems to generate controversy… and tbh that's why everything seems like kind of a mess right now. I never thought shit like racism being a bad thing would be a part of mainstream “debate.">>723
I would love thread about this but I'd like to avoid attracting undesirables from /uknowwho/ to this comfy space. This is me just going off of my experiences, but I've seen them raid the shit out of other boards who don't conform to the alt-shite hivemind and said boards have suffered from that. I love how comfy it is atm and would rather not lure those types on here. It would be really sad (for me at least) if we saw a sudden influx of hardcore racist-chan trolls to this lovely place.
And please don't feel like killing yourself. From one dirty untermensch to another, it’s far more satisfying if you refuse to let them make you feel like shit. These are just mostly pathetic white men who are literally incapable of getting laid without the aid of prostitutes so they lash out against an ever-increasingly equal society that affords opportunities to historically disenfranchised people. They're literally mad as hell because they can't get their dicks wet and so they pin it on shit like "globalism" and "shitskins ruining muh country” when in reality they’re undesirable in every respect. See them for the reactionary, sex-deprived insects that they are.
How long have you two been together? What's the longest time you've spent together before, like in the same flat?
Tbh if you want to get raped and murdered by brown people you are free to do so, but why bring them here? People who like that can just go to Africa and the Middle East? You don't have to bring it here to enjoy it
I'm in my mid 20s and my hyperactivity still hasn't gone and I feel super lame being a grown ass woman with blatent adhd
Anon I feel ya, it's gotten to a point I get called an "extreme feminist" for disagreeing with MGTOW types who say women are worthless past the age of 25 and shit like that. Not hating yourself/your entire gender is now "extreme feminism" Edgelords are taking over.
I'd like to vent about chimps like you. Who are you? I'm trying to paint a picture in my mind of this wretched little toad girl clawing at her acne and chuckling.
I know it's thumbsup from the internet to be a prolapsed anus for the lulz but you're probably 12 so you gotta stop hysterically guarding your pussy and go outside. You're not going to run into a bunch of angry black men looking for zit covered teenage goblins.
Trust me, I'm a white woman, I'm not a scary refuge.
Hey don't worry about it. People see the symptoms of all kinds of mental illness and disabilities as childish but I'm sure people don't judge you as hard as you imagine.
I have a cousin with ADHD who's 32 and she can't read for long periods of time so she does laps round the room when she gets excited lol (she works form home). She's a total sweetheart and no one thinks she's annoying or dumb even when she's super stressed and fidgety but she constantly feels like she's making a fool of herself. People just think she's funny and has a quirky personality.
i mean they literally rape 6yo girls AND boys at pools so yeah i think they might go for her too
What the fuck are you people actually talking about? If you want to make a point, then give a legitimate source for your concerns so that others can critically decipher the issue.>>743
Literally just walk out of the house. He's obviously laughable. If he physically tries to stop you from walking out the door, time to re-consider being with this dude at all tbh.
>>762>then give a legitimate source for your concerns
are you seriously this out of the loop?
seriously, how is the privilege of having these wonderful individuals in our country EVER going to be worth the sacrifice of little boys and girls being raped?
I share some of the same opinions as >>754
, and I promise you I'm not a toad girl.
Honestly, I avoid talking about politics in most settings, and I know it wouldn't be welcomed here.
I'm not even one of those open borders for the world people. You have to understand that I'm speaking of my experiences from within an American context and I'm talking about how American politics have become toxic. Also, this isn't even about scary brown people or muslims anymore, the alt-right attacks anyone that isn't some blue eyed blonde WASP. As someone who is a quarter non-white but 5th+ generation American I'm sick of hearing about the "day of the rope” shit and about IQ charts and how everyone but white people deserve to die.
Not liking the alt-right doesn't mean I want to flood Europe with tons of muslim dudes from bumfuck nowhere, seriously. I really couldn't care less if you guys restrict immigration, in fact, it would be sensible to do so. You literally just made a big ass assumption about my viewpoints on immigration because I said I don’t like seeing racist shit.
>>766>the alt-right attacks anyone that isn't some blue eyed blonde WASP.
You are aware that even the slightest Republican-leaning person or Trump supporter gets called a Nazi, even if they aren't interested in the alt-right or any of its branches, gets attacked at rallies (including women getting punched), etc., while just standing around minding their own business?
>inb4 but racism and they deserve it
>>766>everyone but white people deserve to die.
what are you talking about? they don't deserve to die, they just don't deserve to be in our countries because they don't know how to behave. if the ME liked the ideals of the west, they would import those ideals and adapt them themselves. they haven't. for hundreds of years. they have NO interest in adapting to our way of life, they have interesting in raping 10yo boys and keeping women as items.
why the fuck don't they just try to Make Africa Great Again instead??? explain that
My last reply because I don't want to derail this vent thread with political shit. >>767
My parents are very conservative and they hate Nazis, the alt-right, and everything they stand for, but I don’t doubt for a second that some retarded cow would call them a fascist for simply being conservative. Far-leftists who instigate shit with innocent people just to start riots/fights are poisonous individuals and most people who disagree with that fact are tumblr-tier assholes who use their political “activism” as a way to make themselves feel morally superior. >>768
…I agree though? Minus the race part (there are plenty of hard working non-fundamentalist and non-religious non-white people who just want to live their day to day), I don't think people from cultures that are unwilling to assimilate to western society and modern values and norms should flood into progressive countries. That's a given. But again notice how I'm not even talking about that, but about asshole alt-righties thinking that everyone who isn't white should leave Murica, a continent that was already inhabited by millions of non-whites when it was founded. These people argue for the removal of "impure" people. In an American context that's just fucking retarded imo.
I feel like you guys think think I'm shitting on your worldview when it's clear we're talking about two different things here.
>>769>Murica, a continent that was already inhabited by millions of non-whites when it was founded.
that wasn't "america" you retard, a country is not not its soil, the dirt itself is fucking worthless. whites built the country that it is, its ideals and everything else. it belongs to them. injuns built fucking tipi huts and a whole lot of NOTHING.
why are /pol/ cows so incapable of remaining civil? i thought levelheadedness and rationality were aryan traits? you sound unhinged kek
anyway this vent thread isn’t the place for you cunts to shit up with your garbage racial discussion. take it somewhere appropriate or just fuck off, whatever works for you.
thank you for sharing this story with me. It's actually made me feel a lot better.
>Can't really cry anymore because of PTSD
>Have been really stressing these past couple of weeks/fighting off anxiety attacks
>2 days ago get stung by wasps at new job
>physical pain is practically the only thing that will make me cry, so I start tearing up at work
>make it through shift without complete breakdown
>yesterday, leg still in pain from wasp stings
>generally feeling mentally unwell
>making biscotti, our ovens are fucky and don't read proper temp
>first bake is over cooked
>switch them to another oven to second bake, forget to check it
>change temp higher to be a proper biscotti temp
>go outside to calm down because I'm really super close to a freak out
>calm down enough, just dissociating a little
>forgot about biscotti, they're burned
>go outside again to cry a little
>get it back together and go inside
>inside, find out coworkers creme brulees were in the oven I used and I accidentally burned them because I turned the temp up
>go down to pantry to cry and try to fight off panic attack
>coworker comes down, sees me crying
>is nice and helpful, we're friends. He gets me water and returns to work
>I find an enclosed place to chill the fuck out and drink my water, definitely panic attack because my brains decides that then was the perfect time to remember abuse
>terrified of what he'll think of me, and that somebody with more power than I do at my month-old job knows that I'm weak and therefore less employable
> "get it together" (dissociate to the point of not speaking/ barely breathing), return to kitchen to try and help service
>takes me forever to do a basic plating, my brain is in such fog that I don't know anything/can't see/ can't realize that the reason I can't see is because there are tears in my eyes
>accept that I'm actively useless and would be a hinderence on service
>write coworker a note (because can't talk) explaining that I Am useless at the moment , would understand if I got fired, and that I can try my best to stay if this is the case though I should probably leave
>he shows note to boss? Says "it's okay, I'll see you tomorrow"
>go home to BF, cry/panic what my body/mind will allow, dissociate so bad on the drive there that things are shrinking and I almost went elsewhere in my brain and stopped driving
>terrified of work today, and of my ability to keep it together
>don't want to panic again
>scared that everyone will think I'm useless
>scared of getting fired
I fucking hate this. I just want to be normal. I'm terrified I'll never be able to hold a normal job, and I'm in love with this job. It's a blessing. Fuck. I just want to be normal. I want to happy. I don't want to be scared.
>wake up, snooze alarm
>in that 9 minutes, dream that BF cheated on me, when I asked why he didn't tell me what I was doing wrong when I asked, he had no answer
>Continues to tell me that's what's wrong with me is: My body, my personality, my hobbies, my intelligence.
I'm so sorry anon I just want to give you a hug. I'm having that exact kind of day. I'm stressed to explosion point and I can feel myself acting weird but I can't control it. I am trying so hard not to remember traumatic shit and cry but I feel like if I come back down to earth from disassociation land then I'll fall into my swamp of misery and horrible memories.
The only advice I have is that you will feel so much better if you can get yourself to communicate. It must be really hard working in such a demanding, high-paced job when you have ptsd but you will feel so much better to just say out loud what you're doing. Being conscious of the moment is really grounding. Like, if you fuck up go "Shit, sorry man. I fucked up but I'll fix it". People are way less hard on you if you acknowledge your fuck ups and if you don't tell anyone then people will think you're hiding shit. Take it from me, that deer in the headlights look is a magnet for criticism, people will think you're acting weird for no reason. Healthy people tend to mistake traumatised behaviour for laziness and stupidity. My therapist says I have to turn anger at myself into anger at shit that goes wrong or people who do me harm. Like, anyone else would be like "Jesus Christ, stupid fucking oven that's just my luck" but you thought something like "I'm an idiot, I fucked up" which is, sure, responsible of you but it's not constructive to hate yourself for it. Try not to beat yourself up for your own sake because it just leads to panic. Get mad not sad lol
Thank you so much for your kind words and support, anon. You said some stuff to me that I haven't heard before, and for that I am thankful. I'm sorry you have to experience this too
>I feel like if I come back down to earth from disassociation land then I'll fall into my swamp of misery and horrible memories.
Iktf. sometimes it's better to just be gone for a while. It's hard to face the bad stuff, especially when thinking about it just makes things way worse.
> still no pics> sent an e-mail on Mon asking to have photos by next week> no response, most likely ignored lol
I told them I wanted the photos by Mon, so I don't see them I'm going to see if I can get the charges reversed. Talked with a few people and the odds of me getting it are slim. Any tips/advice on how to drag this photog on social media?
It's probably worth asking cgl the same thing. Anons might actually be willing to help you too.
And of course tumblr, just use a bunch of tags to reach the cosplay community.
I live with my mother and she is so emotionally high maintenance I dread her company. I need a lot of alone time to function and she will not allow that. I can practically feel her low self esteem and need for validation emanating from her like an aura and it's exhausting.
Felt that way about my mother, but with her stress/anger. We had a horrid relationship. Can you move out soon?
I'm browsing dresses on an online second hand shop and all the dresses are 1-2 sizes too big and the ones that are my sizes are expensive to the point where I could buy a new one in an actual store.
I'd go to a store but a) I don't have the time and b) there's a good chance there's nothing I'd want
I just want a cute dress fml
I just turned 24 and I feel like my depression is way worse than it was compared 10 years ago. I am agoraphobic, have a bachelor's degree but due to personal issues(no car, small town, had to move from family member passing) it's hard to find anything. I've been applying to stores around within walking distance, but I feel like I'm trapped. I live with my boyfriend and he walks to work, I also don't have any real life friends(they all live 1-2 hours away and they can't always visit). I've gained weight rapidly and my anxiety has got so bad, I'm skipping group therapy(taking my medication but it can't solve everything). 2-3 years ago, when I lived in a city I was working as an intern at a bank as a Software Developer but when my family member passed away, I've let myself sink deeper into a depression and fucked my options.
I don't know how to crawl out of this. I want to lose weight, get a career with my degree, move out of this shithole and get a house. I just feel like I'll never get there now and it's my fault.
I know this is a vent thread, but I'd like to offer some advice. I'd really suggest that you sit and think really seriously about what is preventing you from doing these things. You may find that it's purely mental illness getting in the way, but you could also find that there are other, more fixable problems.
For example, I'm about your age and in a somewhat similar situation. Part of my difficulty going out is that I tend to get anxiety attacks if I'm away from home for too long. That's harder to work on. But, also it's difficult for me to get going out of the house because I put off personal hygiene so long, that getting ready to get out the door takes at least 2 hours, because I always desperately need a shower, and that shower is always a long shower because I always need to wash my hair and shave because I usually haven't done either in at least a week if not more. I always remember as I'm out the door that I need to brush my teeth. Sometimes I even have to wait for an entire load of laundry before I can leave the house because I don't have clean clothes left. On top of all this I was waking up in the late afternoon, which meant that any long trips out would always have me coming home dangerously close to dark. I'd often find myself having to pay exorbitant uber rides because of my poor planning and anxiety.
With all of that work that needs to be done to go outside… like, it's no wonder I'm having anxiety attacks, right?
Granted, if I wasn't depressed I wouldn't be having any of these problems in the first place. I was still basically agoraphobic because of my depression. But, by breaking down the effects of my depression I was able to find some really manageable problems that were within my control. I'm still depressed. I'm still anxious. But I'm getting up in the morning now, and halfway to a solid hygiene routine, and already going out has been way less stressful for me. Obviously not everyone can do this, but I think it's worth a try.
I start a new job today and ofc I start my period. Grrr. I have super heavy flow and awful cramps the first day of my cycle. Not a good way to start
My binge eating is out of control. I don't know how to stop myself from eating when I crave to eat.
have you ever considered you could have binge eating disorder?
Not saying you do, but ff you have the time you could look into it if you'd like.It just makes me somewhat sad to see people struggle with binging and hating themselves while they might have a legit problem
I was walking home a bit late at night and live in a bit sketchy neighbourhood.
A car on the road slowed down, stopped next to me, scrolled down the window and looked at me for a second and then drove off.
Did he think I was a hooker? Did he just confuse me for a friend? Was I too fat to get kidnapped?
Guess we will never know. I just wish this wouldn't bother and stress me out so much.
Sorry in advance for the sad/srs vent. I don't have anyone I'd dare tell this to.
My husband just doesn't give a fuck anymore. I don't know what happened. It's like he's slipping through my fingers and there's literally nothing I do can stop it. He used to always be sweet, playful, and considerate, but now he's braindead and barely notices me. He won't let me initiate sex. His jokes turned mean. He looks at me different. He just doesn't take the time to even think about me and would prefer to devote his time to playing video games or watching shows.
I've confronted him about this periodically over the last 3 years (married for 4) and he cries and makes promises to do better, but he never delivers. He gets worse. He always claims he's tired or stressed from work, but if he can't love me because of that, why are we doing this? He doesn't need me for anything and certainly doesn't want me. He insists it has nothing to do with my looks or anything I'be done. So I can't even fix the problem.
It just sucks because I think about him all day long. He's my favorite person to go to, especially when I'm down. I'm sad that the feelings aren't mutual. Also, confused because he begs me not to leave him.
I wish I hadn't given up so much to be with him. I'm a retard for jumping into marriage when I have no prior relationship experience. He was seriously my first and only; I met him when I was 17. Fucking waste of my life.
Sounds like you both could need a time off to remember that you're your own persons, too. How about either going on a vacation together to not let the stress from at home and at work bring you down as much? Or perhaps that you go for a few days without talking, so that you learn how to miss each other again?
I just wish I'd stop talking with this guy but he always guilt trips me into staying in touch daily because his life is a fucking mess, he's struggling with money, he's depressed etc etc etc. He brings me down with him sometimes… And i don't need that. He's so negative… With good reason, yeah, but so I am and I want to change, so having him around is bad for me.
We chat on the internet and live far, so I could simply ghost him, but I'd feel bad since that happened to me before.
I wish I'd just woman up and would stop feeling like I can't tell him to stop this and that I don't want to talk with him anymore because I can't deal with his sadness or that I've moved on.
Do I really owe him anything because we had an online romance for a while? Am I just a selfish cunt? Maybe? God.
You don't owe him shit. Honestly I'd have already ghosted on him. If you're feeling really moral you can tell him why you're leaving but I wouldn't really recommend having a conversation with him about it because he'll likely just try to manipulate you into staying.
this is kind of spoiled. my intuos 4 "broke" and i haven't been able to draw digitally in months. i don't really have enough money to prioritize buying a replacement. it's making me kind of anxious not being able to draw with a tablet.
You don't owe anyone an explanation for not wanting to talk to them, but I'd just tell the guy I need space away from the stress his bummer mood causes. >>881
Don't waste your money on wacom, they dont have monopoly on digitizers anymore. >https://www.huiontablet.com/
And even the cheapest tablet PCs have windows 10 and at least a 1024 digitizer now.>http://www.cube-tablet.com/
No one can force you when and how often you talk to them. That's up for you to decide. Maybe you should take a break first before outright cutting ties (if you haven't tried it already). See if it helps. Just be sure to explain it to them beforehand that you have your own issues as well and need some space so that they're not left feeling confused or hurt. And if you still find him draining or toxic then, no easy way to go about this, but either start distancing yourself slowly (maybe he'll get the message) or outright ditch (which is shitty to do but if it's necessary for your own sake, just do it).
Why are men so hostile to women on the internet. It's not fair. I just want to post about my favorite video games without having autists REEEE because they find out I'm a woman. What's wrong with them? How can you be so obsessed with the female sex but hate their presence?
I wonder the same thing. It makes me sick sometimes. I have to remind myself not to take it seriously because I know that the same men who are rude to me online would love to get my attention, have sex with me, or date me. Just think of it that way.
Thanks everyone. I decided I'm going to talk to him tonight without letting him guilt trip me, and if he doesn't "get it", I'll just leave. I'm fucking tired.
I feel the same. It motivates me to support females on the internet and female centric groups and efforts (like this site) so they're just fanning the flames in this case.
Every close friendship I've ever had has turned into literal insanity. I just want to be normal.
Sorry if these are really long, I just need to get it off my chest all at once.
>Knew this girl since the second grade. >We got closer towards the beginning of middle school and became best friends.>She started dating mid-teen dudes who smoked/sold weed. >As a 12 year old, I was obviously straight edge, her actions scared the shit out of me and I didn't know what her problem was. >Later find out her mother was a hoarder and smoke-hag much like my own. >Friend then moves across town to a rural area with her father and drug-addicted older brother. >She continues dating slightly older boys who pressured her into losing her virginity at 13 and getting into harder drugs. >Couldn't believe what I was witnessing due to our age. >I accused her of being a liar when she brought up coke and meth but later found out these guys were using her because of her trust-fund so they could afford expensive drugs.>She would regularly threaten to commit suicide so I called her father one day, told him everything, but she convinced him I was out of my mind. >After that she stopped talking to me altogether. >I knew people who told me she was forced out of school and detained at the children's hospital after the administration proved she had track marks and was prostituting herself at that point.>Next thing I knew there was reports for her disappearance and you could find her on all the Missing Children sites.>Eventually there were rumors of her friends letting her bleed/puke out in a bathtub.>No one was arrested and there was no obituary but I contacted her other best friend that replaced me and that girl confirmed everything regretfully, she was a sober girl but there was nothing she could do for our friend.>To this day people assume she's dead but there's always the possibility she ran away far enough and started a new life for herself.>I'll never get closure until I see that obituary.
>My other best friend was a girl I knew since we were four years old.>Our moms were besties as well, her mother was a recovering crack-addict.>When we were 13 she had a crush on one of my cousins (through marriage). He ends up fucking raping her. >This girl also got into drugs and heavy drinking a bit later, when she was 15 (surprise, surprise).>She got expelled from many schools until she was basically detained full time in a school for problematic teens.>Even that didn't work out so she was eventually arrested and did a few months in a juvenile prison.>Ended up bettering herself and graduated high school against all odds.>We had a falling out because I tried to make her realize our upbringing was abusive but her stockholm syndrome was too strong.>She called me a liar for calling out our mothers and held a grudge against me for wanting to distance myself from them.>She finished her first few years in an art's college. Good for her.>Ends up getting arrested and detained in a mental institution once again for her paranoia/danger to herself/others.>Tries to explain to authorities she was raped at 13 but her family doesn't believe her and i'm the only one who knows it truly happened but she won't speak to me (facepalm).>She graduate from art's college and got accepted into univsersity for engineering. >Her life dream was to become an engineer. So happy for her yet terrified her mental issues will mess it up again.>To this day idk if this is all because she was a crack baby or because she drank very heavily on a daily basis between the ages of 15-18. Or just the awful upbringing.
>When I was 16 I moved across the country to get away from my mother.>Met this guy in my last few years of high school. He lived in the suburbs and was well-off. His father worked in the military. Seems like they had a comfy life. >Everything started out normal. We met in class. We ended up being best friends for a few years.>He invited me to his party. Tried to hook up with me. >I rejected him because I had just started dating my current long-term bf.>Everything was cool. He never pushed it or even mentioned it again. >Fast forward to the spring of our last year of high school.>My bf and I were taking a break. Took a chance on another dude.>Turns out this dude had sex with my guy friend a few months earlier without telling me.>I could get over their bi-sexuality if it weren't for the fact that my friend became obsessed. >He was head over heels for this dude and turned into a complete autist who wouldn't let him live.>Dude moves back to his hometown. My guy friend (is loaded $$$ as I mentioned) BUYS A PLANE TICKET to follow this dude. >He refused to leave his house and ended up living there for over 2 weeks.>Finally dude gets all his friends/family to help kick him out.>I thought my guy friend learned his lesson, was only a mistake because it was his first love etc. >Well he started doing a bunch of drugs after he got back home, I guess to impress the other dude and that's when he went off the rails.>Fast forward a year or so. He meets this e-famous girl online. She's the type to ask for gifts but never seriously pursues her admirers. >This guy has a serious ego trip because of the drugs (and his entitlement from growing up rich) so he starts buying her expensive shit and demands a relationship.>Girl takes a chance on the relationship. She's American, we're Canadian. He flies her back and forth constantly. >After a few months she decides she's had enough. Breaks up with him.>He's not having it. He flies his ass to America unannounced to stalk this poor girl and her family. >Should mention they're both 4chan red-pillers, so his entitlement over this girl is through the roof. Becomes a huge online drama with other fb popular 4-channers.>He blames the break up on women, society, 'psychic vampires' etc. Begrudgingly lets her go but gets deeper into psychedelic drugs.>Some scam recording studio/school based in LA found his "rap music"/mixtape on soundcloud and invites him to attend.>He starts seriously claiming to be the next mozart, how gifted he is, he'll change the world (think of kanye 'i am god' type rants) and intimidates his father into giving him thousands to fund his trip.>Starts claiming he can see aliens, deities, spirits, demons etc from all the acid he's done.>Finally gets to LA and within a few weeks gets arrested and detained over his mental issues.>Idk how he got back to Canada or whether he was also detained here but after a few weeks he was back online like nothing happened.>This was about a year ago. He still tries to find me online and sends me messages to this day even though I deleted facebook.
Y'all have no idea how desperately I want normal, stable friends. The only person i'm close to is my boyfriend. I'm traumatized for life.
It's me again, So yesterday after two hours of work I found out that two of my friends were dead so that was cool and I had to leave work again: today I'm depressed and I can barely do anything. I don't want to go in to work. Fuck.
This sounds like a valid reason not to go to work.
I dated a man for 6 years, and it was the same thing with him, more or less. Started dating when I was 14.
In my case, I did everything I could do and he never changed. Would cry and make empty promises if I tried to leave.
I would say it's better to just straight up leave, as opposed to arguing about it. He'll drag you back in and down. Grab a friend, grab your stuff, and go. You can explain later, but don't go back. Please.
You still have life ahead of you. I'm in love now, with someone who actually cares. I have a good job, and friends. Leaving was the best decision. You'll realize how much else was wrong with the relationship once you do go.
I'm so sorry anon. It really sucks. This seems to always be my luck as well. Good luck with your job, and I hope something lovely happens to make up for the timing!
That's a bit of a jump there anon. Not trying to invalidate your experience but her husband could just need some therapy to work through a mid-life crisis or whatnot. Perhaps he's being neglectful but that's not outright abusive. I don't want anon to be depressed or dragged down either, but it seems like he needs to find better coping methods or re-route his career altogether if his job is sucking the life out of him. He does need to do some serious soul searching though, and that may or may not lead to divorce, but there's no reason to sound the alarm over a bout of depression.
i don't think that i know how to properly interact with other people anymore. i get incredibly anxious just thinking about going out in public or having to deal with other people and i can't go anywhere without my mom or without staring at my phone to distract me from everything else. i hate what i've become but it's nobody else's fault but my own.
>pc is making weird sounds from the PSU
>decide not to risk it since that shit can explode
>bring it to a repair shop i never tried before because the one i trust is on vacation
>i trust them because i used them to buy playstation shit on the past, so it must be fine, right?
>they take it and tell me they cannot give a me a price point until they figure out what it is but they will call me before starting anything
>2 days pass
>still haven't called
>oh yeah we are already working on it
>"without telling me how much it's gonna cost me?"
>"yeah psu's are dangerous stuff so we decided to start, since it's absolutely from there"
>"so what it is and how much will i have to pay"
>"oh idk lol call you when it's finished, it won't be much i swear"
>"okay so you do know what it is, no?"
>"nope, i am not the one working on it, call you when it's done"
>they call me again after a few hours
>it's done, it was the PSU, it's gonna be 50 euros
>"so did you change it or something? why is it so expensive?"
>idk come to the store eand we'll tell you, psu stuff is usually expensive"
>go to store
>"can anybody fucking tell me what was wrong with my pc already and why wasn't i informed of anything"
>techinc comes out
>oh yeah we cleaned your pc and put some oil on it, the psu was completely fine and we didn't change anything idk why they would tell you that lol give me 50 euros for my time"
>tfw they tricked me into believeing it was dangerous and started working without my consent, forcing me to pay for something i did not ask for
>complain about paying 50 fucking euros only to clear some fans
>"oh no we tested it, we took out all the pieces and cleaned your whole pc, not only the fans, plus it took 2 hours, which is a lot of time"
>realize i can't do shit
>cry all the way to my home because i have barely no money and i just threw it down the trash since i was gonna clean my tower after summer myself but did not think it came from this since the sound was coming out only of where my PSU is
>open pc as soon as i arrive home
>it's full of dust
>only one (1) fan is clean and the rest are as dusty as i let them when i left it there
>they told me it took them 2 hours because they cleaned my whole pc and tested it and shit
>literally did shit and didn't even take out any pieces like they said they did, i still have to clean it myself
>basically threw 50 euros, which is a lot for me, to the trash
>cry for hours about falling for being such an idiot and falling for such stupid bullshit
Wew, today has been a Bad day.
Some evening feels:
I think I want to go on Accutane but I don't want to pay the $140 copay to see a derm but I am tired of this acne shitting up my face for 20-something years. Why did God give me acne and a mid-tier face, haven't I suffered enough?
Also I am bloating badly from my period and spent $50 at Target on clothes I don't need to make myself feel better. I could have used that on the appointment. Help.
Sounds a lot like someone I knew with the crazy ego trips, impulsivity and overall stupid behavior. Just stay away, anon. Wishing you better friends.
All too relateable anon. I can barely leave the house either without getting super anxious. I'll get cold sweats, become hyper aware of every movement I'm doing to the point where nothing feels natural, and it feels like everyone's staring at me and judging me. I hate it so much that I choose to stay at home the majority of the time just to avoid it, which obviously makes things worse over time. We're not going to get better unless we push ourselves to go out on our own. Not just every now and then but it has to be a constant and consistent effort. No bullshitting, no hiding away, no excuses, no falling back into what feels safe. We need to get uncomfortable. We need to feel some danger in our lives if we want to get better.
Okay, I made an appt at my GP for my skin issues because I will need a referral anyway. I will have clear skin one day, even if I'm 30.
Go back and demand a refund. Take pictures, scream at them, make a scene, threaten to post about it on facebook and give them a bad yelp review or something.
>someone very important to me goes missing months ago
>no idea if they're still alive or dead
>think about them daily and go looking on my own when I can even though I have nothing to go by
>I want to think they're somewhere and just wanted to live life somewhere else and are happy
>at the same time I think they're dead because this is so unusual of them
>still cry because I have no closure and not even sure how I should grieve since I don't know what happened to them
>everything is just a dead end
I miss all the small things like hugs and just having someone to come home to and just relax with. How does anyone get through this?
>"mature friend" is one of them
>treats me like a child despite the fact we're both 18
>is always shittalking me behind my back with fake concern because i'm oh so immature and i get into trouble so easily, it's better to leave me out of everything so i'll not ruin everything with my immaturity
>mocks me for everything, likes "friendly bullying" me with her boyfriend, can't be bothered with the fact this makes me upset and uses the fact i don't like being constantly picked on for my appearance, voice or some dumb shit i did back in 2013 to showcase how immature and incapable of taking a joke i am
She's been getting on my nerves recently. We've been friends ever since we were 12, she was never the nicest person but we got along well, suddenly she starts kicking me to the curb. I just took it until a few weeks ago when i found out she talked shit behind my back. Been wanting to confront her, however i know she'll just tell me that she's just "concerned about my behavior" and then outright avoid the topic because that's how she is.
The other friends don't see nothing wrong with her behavior and honestly i'm slowly isolating myself. I just don't wanna go anywhere with them anymore because i know she's gonna be there to mock me for everything i do.
>>908>We're not going to get better unless we push ourselves to go out on our own
can confirm, I was in your place a few months ago. Since then I've focused on the controllable factors (bad hygiene and a wonky sleep schedule) and made plans with friends every weekend. I still get really anxious the night before or even on the way there, but the positive experiences are retraining the way I think about going out and I'm already finding it way less exhausting. It takes a while to work up the courage, but it's worth it when you force yourself to go through with it. The trick, I find, is to force yourself to do things that are within the realm of reason. I didn't start out forcing myself to go out every weekend, I started out forcing myself to upkeep my appearance and schedule despite not leaving the house. Then when that felt right, I started forcing myself to make small trips once in a while, and just kind of snowballed it from there.
I don't understand why everything has to be a fight. My boyfriend doesn't want me to go on Accutane because it (might have) made him have stomach issues, and instead wants me to switch to all natural products, non-scented products, not wear makeup, be under his strict regime, etc. for two months to see if that will work. I'm an insanely insecure and cannot go two months without wearing makeup. I need to live my life. He doesn't understand that I've suffered from acne for almost all my adolescence and adult years, even when I didn't wear makeup. I don't even eat shit food. What's so wrong with trying Accutane? It won't necessarily affect me like it did him. I might not even be recommended to go on it! But it cures acne for most people on the first try. I am so tired of living this way, if it gives me clear skin, I want on it. I am tired of not taking opportunities that are within my grasp – I have health insurance and my own money. I appreciate his advice but why does he try to control me like this. He asked if I was trying to get clear skin to get a new boyfriend? I just want to be pretty and not feel ugly when I'm bare faced when I am 35. He thinks I am going to get a disease and keel over. Just… stop living your life in fear.
>someone posts a link to a Discord server on Lolcow
>it's being bumped by people saying it's great and comfy
>decide "Meh, I'll join it"
>keep quiet and lurk a bit to get a feel for the people there before trying to interact with them
>mfw it's full of /r9k/ users sperging, /pol/-tier racism and has a nsfw channel where guys post dick pictures
>admin literally admits to using VPNs to reply to their own threads
>post about what I've seen in the thread to warn anons that it's a waste of time and the owner(s) have most likely been samefagging to bump their own thread
>a mod or admin of the server replies, accuses me of "bullying" people
>posts fake "proof" of me attacking people and calling them faggots
>call them out on posting fake screencaps
>they insist it can't be faked because they're on their phone
>rejoin group, notice the admin changed their profile picture and name to my own
>take a screencap, leave again, then call them out
>they then insist I'm the one faking screencaps because I'm using a computer, and posts a picture of their profile with their name/picture changed back
>tell them to show my account number (the one thing that distinguishes all users, regardless of name and profile picture)
>they also fucked up on the name colors in their proof pics (their name still had the "admin" role color while they were pretending to be me), then when I point that out they immediately post a screencap of a "muted bully" role of the same color and claim they gave me that role, calling it "strike four"
>they claim to have "purged my posts" because they "can't handle that much negative energy in their group", but they "took screencaps as it was happening because they knew this would happen", so they can't show my account number
>tell them to post audit logs showing that my posts were deleted/purged
>they claim that the bot they use doesn't log purging, that you can't check audit logs on phone, etc etc
>give up, tell them to keep doing what they're doing because they're obviously insane
>they reply "I'm over tbh, you're crazy"
I know I shouldn't be this salty about it, but I am. Feels like I was gaslighted by an internet stranger.
Nah, I feel you. I went in for like 15 min and saw the same shit you did and left. Only thing is I didn't post about it on the thread. #7735 is one of the admins and is super pathetic and posts 24/7 in all the chats because I guess he doesn't have a real life.
I was in there and left too. It's just robot sperg and the admin is always online being a retard. I saw the racism and politics channels and already knew it was going to be a real shitshow.
yeah i saw that thread. who goes to such lengths to make an immensely shitty discord and then get butthurt when someone points it out? it's shit like this that proves robots are irredeemable, disgusting freaks. thank god all of them are too ugly to reproduce.
I'm genuinely surprised that the thread is still up tbh.
If it's hormonal acne, which it sounds like it may well be, you need to sit him down and explain to him that the problem is originating from inside, and no amount of water, or fruit or topical routine alteration is going to change that. I know from experience because I'm a health conscious vegan that does pretty much everything right, and yet still suffered from chronic adult acne from 18 until 25 (now) y/o. I had surgery on my face earlier this year that required me to wear a face cast for 3 weeks, which meant that in that time I couldn't exfoliate, I couldn't moisturise and I certainly couldn't wear makeup. After 3 months when the cast finally came off my face was covered
in blackheads and pustules, it was awful. The only thing that fixed it in the end was a script of Tetralycine.
Gonna play devil's advocate for a second anon. I'm not saying your boyfriend is in the right but I can understand his concerns for your health.
My boyfriend has terrible (just disgusting) acne problems but he also has an issue with stomach ulcers. It got to the point where his acne infected his eye and he needed antibacterial eye drops for pink eye (how does someone's face produce so much bacteria?) because his pimples are like actual volcanoes and the puss will pop out at any moment.
I get super pissed when I see him 1) eating meat (doctor ordered no meat) or junk food in general 2) not using his skincare products enough or using them wrong/out-of-order 3) missing his schedule for eye drops or skincare 4) not sleeping enough (lack of sleep = stress = acne).
Basically if he's not taking care of himself properly, I get really concerned because his skin issues are a result of his diet choices, sleep schedule and stress management. I want him to live happily without these medical issues worrying him every single day.
I don't know the full story anon but it's hard when your partner is going through issues like that yet seemingly won't do much to change besides medications that could likely be avoided.
Either way you deserve to be happy, i'm on your side in this but it's possible your boyfriend is over-reacting because he's concerned about you making the safest choices for yourself.
I really miss my therapist. Partly because of how much she helped me but also because she was just great to be around. Unsure if this is weird or natural.
that's very common, anon. still sucks tho
I feel a growing attachment to mine too and I think it's just natural due to the one-sided intimacy, you expose yourself a lot and it's their job to be supportive of you and improve your life. It's a normal reaction.
Fuck people who talk to you for a few days, then proceed to stop talking/replying to you in the middle of a convo and don't talk to you for months even when they are online, but then proceed to come crawling back to talk to you again for a few days after months of ignoring you, and repeat the same pattern over and over.
amen. i thought i was the only one who hated this since so many motherfuckers seem to do it but it really pisses me off. i dont want to play games, i want to talk to someone everyday knowing that our friendship is real. i guess they got better people to talk to or some shit.
>>917>eighteen year old talking about maturity>someone born in 1998 thinking theyre mature
uh… cringe. kids who obsess over maturity are the most immature people in the world. cut this dumb bitch out of your life. im 20 but im not going to parade around and act like ive got the gift of a 2,000 year old buddha clutched in my third eye all the time. jesus christ
i have the same thing but 97% of the time its people telling me they want to kill themselves and not any actual attempt at a conversation.
>I wish I was joking, there's clearly something weird going on
People like that simply can't handle their own company and don't know how to behave once their usual friend group has left me them hanging. Then they become distracted by other people giving them attention that they deem more valuable because they generally view people as opportunities to validate themselves, so of course they gravitate back towards those who benefit them the most.
can confirm, being one of these people. But, it can be a hobby or solo activity rather than other people distracting me, can't speak for everyone else.
I just found out that I have to retake one of my classes and I feel like such an idiot rn. I feel like no matter how hard I try to be a good student I'll always be subpar at best.
I've been doing so good lately. I've been going places and crossing things off my to do list and generally really moving forward towards being a human.
But every time I stop I start feeling terrible again. I want to go on a self-loathing rant.
Same, anon. It's really annoying, especially because I'm trying to be a more positive person. I probably look depressed as fuck and attract similar people.
I had the same issue. Ngl I feel bad about just blocking them (after giving advice and them not trying to do anything to change and just whining on). I'm kind of less approachable now so it's filters these types out? Or maybe it's because I don't visit the same groups/sites anymore.
I feel like I'm running my life on "lowest possible quality" settings and still only getting 20 fps.
Not so much a vent as an exhausted exhalation. I've been out from 9:00 until 21:45 with my partner doing property viewings all day in what I'm pretty sure has been the hottest day of the year in the UK… I'm not sure, all I know is that my neck, back and shoulders are badly burnt.
Of the 5 we viewed today there were 3 that were suitable, but the first, oh god guys, I want it so bad. Ground floor flat, 1 bedroom, chelsea oak laminate flooring, fully renovated/modernised, painted entirely white, walk-in storage cupboards, built-in wall bookcase in the living room, high Victorian ceilings, power shower, central heating, grand windows, private parking and located right in the centre of the town we're relocating. If I don't get it I'm actually going to cry. I'm going to cry. At first I said I didn't want to settle for less than 2 bedrooms, but this is too perfect to pass up. Fuck having a media room, I don't even care anymore. I want it so bad I'm doing bullshit rituals like crossing my fingers and praying to myself. Please send out good vibrations, I'll take anything at this point.
I'll update with the decision once the agency gets back to us.
At this point I'm honestly done with posting on LC.
You literally cannot give advice or even vent without some retard finding something to nitpick about in your post or they just reply for the sake of disagreeing, with no real argument or anything to contribute. Literally no one asked for your personal preferences and opinions???
Even the skincare/makeup etc threads are dead now, the only reason I still visit that place is because one single cow and even then, I gave up on contributing to the thread.
I'm aware of the LC thread in /b/ but I just had to let out some steam.
This is why I'm glad crystal.cafe exists now. It was way overdue.
I'm going back to uni and living on campus with 3 to 5 other people (haven't gotten a confirmation yet). I'm super nervous because I've never lived with more than one other random person and I don't want anyone weird or dirty and I'm also a huge introvert and can't make friends with people easily.
WE GOT THE FLAT WE GOT THE FLAT WE GOT THE FLAT
We just need to pass a credit check and then we can move in on the 31st! I'm not used to having such good fortune, I actually feel physically sick thinking of the possibility of it being snatched away by a bad turn of events.
Please let everything go smoothly. Please, please, please. I want this more than anything.
anon i'm happy for you but you know there's this thread right? >>345
I do but my first post was negative because I'd had a crappy day and was wracked with uncertainty and hopelessness about my immediate future. I just wanted to update because I said I would at the end of my last post, and crossposting between threads would feel weird.
Still not entirely happy tbh, I mean we could fail this credit check and everything could go to shit. I won't exhale until I'm physically inside the property.
I hate this too. I always fall into the case of being a therapist or a stepping stone friend (the friend you hang out with after a break up when you can't show your face to your other friends but you flake as soon as you get a new bf and can see your old friends without being embarrassed anymore/other similar situations). Now at least I've caught on enough to kick them once I see pattern form, but I don't want to be cold and blow them off from the start in case they really are a nice person and are having a terrible day.
>>987>and I'm also a huge introvert and can't make friends with people easily.
Do. Not. Isolate. Yourself.
When your flatmates invite you to have dinner with them, go. Hang out in the kitchen and communal areas for a little bit every day. When they invite you to the pub (or whatever people do at uni in other countries) go. Go to taster sessions for every club and society that takes your interest. Even if you think it's going to be really hard, even if you have to leave earlier than everyone else, make a solid effort to do at least one extroverted activity a week.
Socialising is hard, especially as an introvert, but isolating yourself because it's comfortable is the single worst thing you can do to yourself. Seeing everyone around you make friend groups and have fun is the most depressing thing in the world and will compound any loneliness or isolation you feel. Everyone, even the extroverts, is just as scared as you are. And it takes them just as much effort to make friends with people.
If your flatmates annoy or upset you, make yourself heard as early as possible! Don't let yourself get to the point of resentment or anger. It's your living space too, and you deserve to be comfortable.
People always yell at me for never opening up or talking. Then they turn everything onto them whenever I'm upset and try to talk to them.
It's even worse if the person has upset me and I try to explain they've upset me.
Why are people like this. My family are the worst for it but even my friends do it.
It makes me feel very alien, like I'm missing something. I always listen to other people if they complain about me so I can do something about it.
I'm just going to cry in the bath and listen to jazz.
>>1005>Then they turn everything onto them whenever I'm upset and try to talk to them.
I've been guilty of doing that myself, if I get the vibe that someone doesn't want to talk about themselves then I try to pick a topic of conversation, which is usually myself, especially if I don't know the other person very well. It's a really bad habit and I try not to do it. I know there are some people who are really self-absorbed and stuff but usually it seems like most people just don't know how to deal with extreme introverts.
It sucks that they do it when you're upset, though, being ignored like that is such an awful feeling. I don't really have any advice or anything but I hope you feel better.
Hmm. I do this too, I never realized that this was considered rude before. Usually I do it as a sign of solidarity.>>1005
Wait, you mean "turn it on to me" like you say "that really hurt me" and they say "well YOU hurt ME" ?
That's dastardly and manipulative. I read once that narcissists hold a metaphorical mirror, not to admire themselves but to reflect your criticisms of them back onto you.
That's a really nasty thing to do and it doesn't take a narc to do it either- so many irresponsible, childish jerks attack insecure and vulnerable people that way.
If you feel lonely and isolated while alone, are you really just an introvert at that point? I kinda feel like that label gets thrown around a lot and used by people who aren't actually that introverted at all, just socially awkward/anxious or have some other issues.
idk about that, dude. Everyone gets lonely after a long period of time. From what I've read, extroverts receive energy from social interaction and introverts expend it- so introverts need to be alone more often to 'recharge', so to speak.
According to Jung, it comes about in childhood when a kid is rewarded or punished for self-expression.
Eh, I agree that trying new things and making an effort are all good things to do, but not everyone wants a full social schedule. I'm not sure if OP meant introvert in the true sense or introvert in the shy sense, but social shit is legitimately draining for introverts even if they're having fun at the same time. Pushing yourself to be someone you're not is a surefire way to make yourself and possibly the people around you unhappy.
If they meant just the shy sense and they don't find interaction draining then sure, yeah, that works, but spending time alone in order to care for yourself is not isolating yourself. If I were in college again I'd be pretty active in the first few weeks in order to scope out clubs/student groups and meet people like suggested, but after the rush of stuff dies down I'd find my own rhythm.
>>1027>If you feel lonely and isolated while alone, are you really just an introvert at that point?
Introverts still need social interaction. It exactly what this anon said >>1043
Whether or not you gain or spend energy by spending time in the company of others. There's also the thing of it being cool amongst certain groups to be an introvert these days, so people have a mistaken impression of what it is or deny their real personality because they want to be cool and fit in with a certain image. There's a sterotype of introverts being smart bookish nerds and extroverts being loud, drugtaking idiots. I'm an introvert, quiet, but still a drugtaking idiot lol. >>1044>If I were in college again I'd be pretty active in the first few weeks in order to scope out clubs/student groups and meet people like suggested, but after the rush of stuff dies down I'd find my own rhythm.
This is basically what I was trying to suggest doing. You can't make any friends by staying in your room all the time, even if that's what you're going to do with your friends when you make them, and making new friendships requires a lot of energy and upkeep to begin with. Once you have friends who you're comfortable with though, you can go completely at your own pace.
I give this advice because one of my best friends at uni did this, because he's an introvert, and ended up having a really bad breakdown because of it. If he'd have just come to one of the club socials where we all met he'd have found a group of great friends straight away, instead of in second term when he'd already had the breakdown and missed exams.
Okay, so for the folks out there who have some sort of social anxiety or trouble interacting with people who have lived on campus at college, did you have trouble assimilating into dorm life? How did you cope? And do you think that I should I go out of my way to make friends with my roommates? I'm going to be transferring into a four-year university soon and that's the only thing that's been on my mind. I'm pretty sheltered and have never really been on my own before. On top of that, I don't really go out much and I have literally no friends. Am I psyching myself out by over-thinking things or should I really have a gameplan as to how I'll handle things when I'm actually there?
Anyone who shuts themselves away from people to the point of mental breakdown has way deeper issues with social interaction than simply spending energy to do it.
I am so so SO tired of our "news" sites. My country literally hasn't a single news site that doesn't involve click bait or copy-pasted news from other, foreign sites, only translated.
Half of it is "x person found y, what happened next shocked them", "no one expected that". Of course there are also the xxx parts where our local celebs "crashed the internet" or those stupid ass articles with like 10 pictures of girls in a bikini that are barely 18 years old.
Oh and the super retarded "fit" category. Where every second article is "food you should totally avoid if you're losing weight", "why you aren't losing weight" and "how to lose [high amount of weight that is EXTREMELY unhealthy] in 5 days!"
I can't believe people are getting paid for this shit.
You're not Mexican aren't you?
I'm really scared of the US waging war with North Korea. I don't want there to be a war in my lifetime, I think I'd just die of anxiety. I'm terrified of nukes falling on my country because we're allied with the US. It makes me want to cry, I'm scared for my family.
I know this is over-dramatic but it's a serious fear I have.
I'm not. Guess Mexico has the same issue?
So I've heard. Their daytime television is supposed to be abysmal.
The US will never go to war with NK because they only attack counties that have something they want. Sleep safe precious bean.
You're right. I'm more worried about NK just nuking someone to show off their weapons or some shit and it escalating from there- but they probably don't have enough to fuck up anywhere significantly. Ugh, I just hate war.
But thanks, I do feel better lol
I wouldn't worry about NK busting anything out just to 'show off' like ever. Mainland China is effectively their only real ally at this point, and even the CCP has been growing tired of NK's childish posturing for quite some time now.
If NK's military leaders ever did have a moment of monumental stupidity and tried to pull some shit then China would immediately drop them like a hot potato so as to protect their economic relations with the West. This would then leave NK in a very precarious situation, what with being sandwiched between South Korea to the South, China to the North, and with Japan hosting 23 US military bases to the East. If anything ever happened they'd get annexed so fast their Joseon-ot would spin, and they know it too. They're all bark and no bite.
>>1053> I don't want there to be a war in my lifetime
I have some bad news for you…
I'm a member of /r/Random_Acts_Of_Amazon on Reddit and I just realised that even though I've bought 8 gifts for strangers over the last year, I've never received anything off of my own wishlist.
You don't sign up in order to get free stuff, you do it so you can spread a little bit of fortune and happiness within the world, but I have to admit that after a year of active participation, I'm starting to feel a little used. Maybe I'm just selfish idk. I want to be appreciated too.
I'm fucking pissed off because a group of guys i know wanted me to join them in this game. I have way more hours than any of them and I am genuinely good at the game. They've upset me because they've been super salty and patronising since the start; every time I do something they'll act like ~silly anon you should of done it OUR way~ even though their way is retarded and they're basically n00bs.
I don't want to be like reeee playing games with boys muh sexism because usually the other group I play with are all guys and they're fine but Jesus Christ. They're being super nice to each other and super dickhead to me. Even when they do retarded shit?!?
Damn, I know exactly what you mean. What helps shutting off those idiots is going 1vs1 on them though and destroy them.
I don't want to post it because I'd feel bad if somebody actually bought me something off of it. Maybe an Amazon Wishlist thread could be something we did in the future though, when we have a larger userbase. I love buying people small gifts on a whim.
I had this problem in Overwatch once. Played with a guy who pursued being friends with ME and just proceeded to act like I was a retard. Although since I was fucking awesome at that game, it wasn't about in game tactics, it was about conversations we'd have while playing and voicechatting.
I tried putting up with it for a while and brushed everything off with a laugh or a ~cutesy~ "shut up!" because like you said, I didn't want to be that easily offended girl, but there's a fine line. He'd say blatantly sexist shit everyday so one day I just said "I got to go somewhere, see you tomorrow." and that nigga was blocked and deleted. Cut those types of guys out because they'll always see you as some disabled life form who can't comprehend simple stuff. Whether it's about your gameplay or not, you being a girl will ALWAYS be a problem to them and they'll find something else to pick on.
I hate my body so much…. I have a bmi that in between 16 and high 17s (with no effect), my measurements are at least 10 inches apart, my waist is 23 inches and defined, but I hate how my boobs are shallow shaped as a 32D and my butt, though round, is mediocre in terms of how much it sticks out. Everyone talks about how something compensates or evens out (like if you have bad x you'll have good x) but my whole body is such a sick mess and even if I worked out, nothing would fix it. I'm so sick of hating it since I was 12 and I hate to think how it feels like that terrible feeling is never going to go away. Worser still is my S.O used to always compliment my butt ( and yes, I know it's bad I'm reliant on that for validation) for how "good and big" it was, but recently he admitted it was mediocre sized and not big…girls tend to make fun of me because they don't believe I'm a 32D and that makes me feel even worse about my breasts…I'm undesirable and it's quite difficult to come to terms with.
I know it isn't good for me to equate my worth with my appearance either, but it isn't like my personality has redeeming qualities either.
GOD that brings me back to high school. I had an all-male friend group and it was pure misery playing any games with them. When we'd play any shooter they'd just ignore me and act like I was too dumb for strategy (lmao they were dumbass fucks who couldn't play for shit) and if I killed any of them they'd be always be like "GOD DAMN IT STOP CAMPING" or if it was like Smash "STOP BUTTON MASHING".
Like, how fucking insecure. They'd always pull out some made-up excuse for how I was winning over and over again. It couldn't be because I played games more often or anything.
I was really good at tekken 5 when I was 15 and I went to a mini tournament at a local comic convention and fucking obliterated all the nerds there and this one Chinese guy went ballistic at me and demanded I was cheating. How the fuck do you cheat at Tekken
Seriously, to this day at my ripe old age of 28 I can't play games even with my brother
whom I'm really close to. When we play Overwatch or TF2 he keeps trying to give me tips even when I'm consistently better. I nod and don't say anything because I'm sick of fighting about it but it really perplexes me how boys get so aggro over vidya when girls are playing.
My advice to you all - stop playing with American trash males and start playing with Nords. I used to have this exact problem and had buried my mic into the back of am old drawer as a result, until I encountered a pack of Swedes online and began playing with them regularly.
I don't know if it's because Sweden and other Nordic countries place a bigger emphasis on sexual equality from a very young age, but there's like 11 of them, all male, and there has never been a single disparaging comment made about my gender, and the Discord is just one big meme dream supreme.
You know it actually seems like everytime I bump into Swedes in Overwatch they're always the friendliest players. It's a very welcome change from "do u have boobs xDD".
Sometimes I think I'll be alone forever. I do have a bf but he's a 24 year old baby whose parents tell him what to do and he has no real desire to work hard to change that(his parents told him he's not allowed to hangout this weekend). TBH I'd be shocked if our relationship lasts another 3 months. The sad part is I've just given up on human relationships in all forms.
He's 24 and his parents still restrict his social hours?
Yep they restrict everything. He's never cooked, done laundry or cleaned before. He says he's going to move out in a year(why on earth it would take that long?) but I honestly don't believe it.
You said yourself that he has no desire to change. It's sad but you gotta tell him you want more from a partner and move on.
Don't give up on relationships, friendships especially. You'll feel better with at least one good friend in your life, even just nice associates.
I cancelled an important and time sensitive appointment today because it felt like too much to handle. I've been good about keeping my other appointments and I'm trying to convince myself that I can reschedule tomorrow and it's just a small setback, but I feel so guilty and like I'm about to fall back into old habits.
I did the same thing the other day. You have to get back on the horse right away, because those old habits are too too tempting. Just remember, you've obviously been trying really hard. Everyone needs catch up days. You were doing what you needed for your health, now you need to push forward.
I'm going on vacation tomorrow to my bfs house where the two of us and his brother will be there. At first I really looked forward to it but now… I don't even feel like going on vacation. He gets those "episodes" where he just doesn't talk to me through the day nor does he want to say directly what's wrong and it just fucks up my mood. He's been like that for more than a week and it's pulling me down. He has every right to feel sad since he has his own life but it just makes me suffer and I find it really hypocritical because he complains when I get sad and it affects him too so I start feeling guilty and rather hide it all than tell him that I feel like shit.
I know communication is important but he really doesn't get that I'm mentally ill and what that means etc., he really tries to understand it but often fails miserably.
I really hope the shitty feeling goes away and I'll manage to have a fun time.
I'm working during the summer break and doing almost nothing but play video games at home and work until college starts in September. Usually I'm all by myself with my family and my friends go back to their family, so they spend the summer outside the city or the country. But for once,some of them are in our city and everytime I suggest we hang out because we haven't seen each others for 2 months by now, they find all sorts of bullshit reasons to say they don't want to. One of them tells me she doesn't have enough money anymore to eat out or go shopping even though I never suggest we do that in the first place and she admitted multiple times that her family is rich and giving her a lot of money. Just be straightforward with me holy shit. Anyway, I feel lonely because of this. I wish I had some normie friends to hang out with sometimes.
Also, I'm supposed to stop working this Saturday but I've asked a bunch of managers if I could keep the job for longer than planned, everyone involved said they want to keep me but I have no official confirmation so I have no idea what's going to happen. I really need more money for college, it's really stressful.
It's not necessarily relevant, but "my parents give me lots of money" and "I can't afford to eat out or go shopping" can totally coexist.
My parents paid my college tuition and school supplies, and currently pay my rent and utilities while I'm in between jobs, and I have a fair amount in savings for food, toiletries, etc. These are all total luxuries that I'm aware I only have as a result of being a rich bitch. However, I'm often going to sleep hungry and genuinely cannot afford to eat out or shop at all because I have no idea how long my savings needs to last me, and I don't want to have to move back home or ask my parents to cover my groceries too.
Have you tried suggesting free things to do? Invite her to your place for lunch? (If she is actually on a strict budget she probably won't say no to free food lol) invite her to a bring-your-own-lunch picnic in a park somewhere?
Where I am the tuition isn't too expensive (it's dirt cheap compared to what I've read about american colleges, idk if you're american though), my friends never worked and don't want to or even have too. And the reason why one of them thinks she may not have enough money to go out is because she treats herself all the time without planning. At least I can understand her not having a job because she's a foreigner so she's only allowed to work a certain amount of hours a year to not break the law, but she used to eat out almost everyday and buy video game related things.
Everytime I suggest free stuff she refuses though. Which is why I complained more about her not being straight forward with me. I'd rather her (well, all of them) be sincere and tell me she doesn't want to go out because she's lazy, not in the mood or feels sick in the first place, because when she says it as a last resort, it sounds like it's just a pretext. I can't invite anyone to my place because I live with my family and it's far away from all my friends' homes, so I suggest just visiting some places or musuems (they're free for students) or just hanging out near where I work since it's near where my friends live so it's convenient for them too.
I'm ok with just a "no I don't want to" and not people trying to find a bunch of justifications, really. I don't know if I'm explaining it well.
>Grandpa sends check in the mail to kinda help out
>he sent it the one-day express route
>been a week and i still don't have it
>my uni mails out info and everything I'll need for moving into dorm
>don't have that either
No one on our street haa gotten mail for a solid week and the post office keeps pussyfooting around. Just have a mailman do a couple extra blocks on his route so people get bills, packages, or whatever they need. This keeps happening off qnd on and it's getting ridiculous.
What's especially sad is when other girls youre playing with (usually on your team too) hear that you're a girl and proceed to act shitty towards you, make fun of you, or mock your voice after being silent as a mouse the entire game beforehand. Like chill out bitch whered u even come from? Work out your internalized misogyny. Do they realize theyre not the only girl playing video games and just process get uppity because theyre no longer special? >>1111
I met some swede guy and he's actually made a comment about how women should disappear and men should just adopt kids (good idea genius, where do you think kids come from) and i just replied with a bored "yep" and that was it lmao. This guy was also one of those weebs who thinks its a good idea to literally go live in japan and is obsessed with anime and japanese girls. He was also really boring and autistic and would never talk for some reason or started a conversation with something completely random that didnt make sense instead of saying hi like a normal person and going from there. Ive seen quite a few of these swedes and theyre always cringey and obsessed with japan. Im hoping norwegians are better.
That's a pity, I guess you get those types wherever you go. In these experiences, "håll käften jävla svensk fitta" is a good phrase to learn.
Guys have never really had crushes on me/wanted to hook up with me. Therefore I have never really dated anyone before. One of my friends (who I'm no super close with) found a guy who she thought would be good for me and told his friend about me and said I would possibly be a good match. Unfortunately I didn't have the chance to meet him because I was busy and plans sorta fell through. I never really felt sad about the situation because I never really got the chance to know him and I haven't thought about him since. A month later, my very close friend, who gets guys very often, texts me saying she found this guy she used to go to school with on Instagram and that she thinks he's cute and that she would consider going for him. It turns out to be the guy my other friend tried to set me up with. I know with her luck she could easily get him, especially since they knew eachother/have connections. I have to admit I feel a little jealous and the idea of her getting with the only guy who I had a chance of getting with makes me mad. I just wish I had the chance to actually meet him and I wish guys would actually to date me. :P
I'm so lonely… I wish I could magically grow a friend. Why am I so pathetic.
i can't stop reliving moments where i've embarrassed myself. doesn't matter when it happened, i will dwell on it and experience the painful memory over and over again. it's miserable having every dumb thing you've done and every painfully awkward interaction you've had replay in your mind over and over again. i'm seriously jealous of people who have no self-awareness.
I'm going through the exact same, anon. I've always been like this, but I have felt worst the last couple months, so I decided I had to change instead of just accepting my brain overthinking things and going back to my past as a personality flaw. I'm trying to fix it.
Whenever I have a sad/negative/ridiculous thought, I think of a good one (usually about myself). Immediately. Sometimes it's something silly like "I'm a super duper amazing gal and I'm the prettiest of them all!"
Sounds kinda ridiculous, but the point is really focusing on good things instead of negative shitty thoughts that will just drag you down and make you suffer. Try to think of good things you like about you though.
I'm not going to say it's working 100% yet
because this is very new to me as well, but I've noticed a slight improvement.
I know you didn't ask for advice, but your post is something I'd say myself, and god knows I was desperate for some suggestions on how to change.>>1184
I know that feel bro, I feel like it shouldn't be so hard when you're an adult but it's even harder than when you're a kid
your advice is welcomed anon. it’s kind of comforting knowing i’m not the only one this happens to. usually when i get those intrusive memories i audibly sigh or physically recoil, and i hate doing that in public. so now when i start remembering stuff i'll just immediately yell an unrelated sentence in my head to try and get my mind off the icky memory.
i wonder if this is actually a really common thing most people just don’t talk about.
I'm almost prepared to believe I blacked out and can't remember making this post because lol this describes me word for word.
I really don't want to go on medication or anything but I can't figure out how to naturally keep all those thoughts at bay.
wew i just realized i said "over and over again" over and over again. i should not post when i'm being a sappy drunk.>>1202
i've considered going on anti anxiety meds but i don't know if i want to go down that rabbit hole either. even if it helps, i could risk becoming dependent on medications to cover it up instead of dealing with my problems head on.
I feel like shit. My mother always ignores me when I try to talk to her in favor of texting people she claims to hate and she never responds to me when I text her. She promised me months ago that we would go downtown together every weekend this summer and she's not done it once. BUT she went today when someone else had asked her to go and she of course went, when had this person not asked her, I guarantee you she would be sitting on her ass in the living room watching tv and drinking beer all weekend. Oh yeah, and she always goes to this one guy's house who she's fucking and gave 5 thousand dollars to (when she bitches about having to spend money on me) that lives way downtown to spend the whole night there with him.
She also promised to take me to Disney World back in April and she instead went on another vacation with some old guy who is an asshole to her and 2 other vacations by herself to Vegas.
I'm absolutely frustrated because she's always treated me like garbage but the more I think about it, the deeper it hurts me and I just keep noticing that things are all wrong and her behavior isn't normal. All of my family has abandoned me since I was young so I'm hurting so bad. I just got back from living with my dad too after he neglected me and did a bunch of horrible, sick things to me so I'm stuck alone wondering why no one gives a fuck about me unless they're screaming at me or ordering me to do their chores. I drifted away from all my friends so now I feel more alone than ever because I literally have nobody. My only way of dealing with anything is sobbing in my closet for hours so no one hears me and frying my body with drugs. I'm so fucked and I hate myself! My mom took all my money when I was younger too and I had no idea about it until recently so I can't even move out but I really did wish I lived alone. I feel like the helpless little kid I always was who got fucked with at home and at school.
I'm all old and shit and I miss the simple life of all those Disney Channel movies I grew up on. They're on Netflix and I'm reliving my childhood. I miss when girls shows had regular ass girl problems not all the gender identity shit you see these days.
your post made me feel sad, I'm wishing you the best anon. Hugs.
One of my coworkers just left the company. I had a huge crush on him back in late 2015-early to mid 2016 when we worked together all the time. I know he felt something for me too, even if small. He's probably going to move by the end of the year to work on different projects and I know he's not the type to pursue a relationship with someone right now with all this stress going on in his life. I'm sad because I wish I had acted different before, I keep thinking how life would've been if we happened to be together. I have a boyfriend again, and I love him deeply, and wasn't really even thinking about this guy anymore until I found out he was quitting. I feel a bit guilty, but since nothing is going to happen it's all good. I guess I'm just sad because he's an amazing person, I'm gonna miss him a lot and you know, I'm just thinking about all the what ifs we could've had.
Ugh, same. These days, they're trying too hard to be inclusive and it's coming off as really forced and artificial. That's So Raven recently got a spin-off and I hope to god it doesn't suck.
It took me so long to figure out I was asexual. I really think that if there'd been better representation in the things I watched and read I would have figured it out so much quicker. I was super lucky to grow up in an LGBT friendly environment and even got my hands on plenty of queer representation (even that could have been better, but it was enough for me to figure out/not be bothered by my romantic orientation) but no one ever even mentioned that some people don't like sex at all. I think I knew when I was a teenager but was too ashamed of myself over it to admit it.
Today, after almost a year of feeling good and barely depressed, I finally felt so shitty again that I didn't want to get out of bed.
The fact that I didn't feel this bad for such a long time makes it even worse, since i'm not really used to it anymore. I mean technically it's my own fault though because I don't have any friends outside of school so I haven't socialized much since vacation started. Still it makes me feel like a ''crazy person''
Waiting to finally go out to idaho for college, since I graduated from highschool, ive been working with my mom cleaning houses for indians and pakistanis, they are cheapskates and rip off artists, whatsmore, they want to pay us minimum dollar for everything, For example, there was a lady who couldnt afford to pay us the amount she owed us, so instead of over paying us by 5 dollars, something youd deduct from the next cleaning, she gets a jar with about 66 dollars of pennies nickles and dimes, and expects us to take that for payment.
It took me a long time to realize factually, that I shouldn’t have been abused by my psychopath parents and didn’t deserve that, but I internalized so, so much evil and hatred inside of myself. My mom taught so deeply to think I should and deserved to be hated, and everyone secretly despises me, and finds me unfathomably awful and ugly, but they’re too polite to say so, which I call “social anxiety” but its so absolutely ridiculous to always think that someone will glance at me and express such venomous disgust like my mom did. I know that I do deserve to speak to human beings, I know that I am not disgustingly ugly but actually look nice, while she looks like a deformed monster (and is one). She deserves to be the one afraid to even be seen by people. I don't have any logical REASON to feel so hideous and universally hated.
I know its all wrong, but I just can't stop feeling like she was still somehow right to do all that to me? Like maybe they knew it was the best thing for them to get so mad and break my ribs and feet so I really couldn't run away, and maybe it was right to take my phone and computer access, and pull me from school, and take away my shoes, like it was just how they tried their best to "protect" me. I still can't go to bed without cleaning the kitchen perfectly, because I remember seeing that lock put on the kitchen door and starving for 3 1/2 days whenever I swept a pile of trash in the corner or left dishes behind to soak or didn't scrub the entire oven and stove. I'm always still so so scared that other family and people I've known my entire life might think slapping me around and calling me "retard" and "idiot" is a kind of affection, so I stay distant. I can't even get rid of that red warning light keeping me from touching a cashier's hand, or even hugging my own grandmother.
I'm just so tired of remembering it. I just want to rip it all from my brain and throw all of those lies and fear into the garbage to be a normal woman already.
I think that if I could've seen one girl kiss a girl on Disney Channel even just once in the background as a kid, I would've hated and denied myself so, so much less. To see that maybe normal, good girls can want to kiss girls would've felt like taking a boulder out of my stomach. I know there are millions kids whose lives that can still change, and I wouldn't give that up for any of the pathetic selfish 20-somethings holding onto their 1000% hetero nostalgia.
That's fucked up. At least you know rationally that you didn't deserve what happened to you but it's your instinct that's making you feel like this I guess. Did you completely cut any contact with your parents? And Do you regularly see a therapist or something like that?
My dog keeps eating grass and it's making her shit all gross to the point I just had to use two twigs like chopsticks and actively pull shit and grass out of her butthole while she was pooping to help her because it wasn't "falling" down, just hanging out her ass as she was waddling around like a deformed row of sausage links and chow mein.
It made me vomit and now my esophagus hurts.
I'm being forced onto Medicaid and I have such mixed feelings about it. On the one hand it's complete fucking bullshit and a waste of tax payer time and money, and it's sad that I'm forced to be apart of a broken, bloated system. On the other hand the sour looks on all the illegal bitches with their anchor babies faces is priceless, and I'm tempted to go full hedonist and also take EBT which I also qualify for. Everyone else in this town abuses welfare, why shouldn't I?
It will help a lot to speak to a therapist about all of this.
I also recommend looking into "acceptance and commitment therapy", either through a doctor or I think you can buy books on it too? It's honestly life changing.
I'll never amount to anything and counseling doesn't work because fuck listening to anybody. It's not like I don't know what I need to do or what's wrong with me. I'm just a fat depressed piece of garbage.
I try to read those books, but its too hard to admit that I really did nothing to deserve it? It feels better to think that talking back and being disobedient was supposed to be punished like that than to think that none of my actions could've ever made me safe.
I've never told anyone. I don't want my family and friends to know. One time she let a small slither of her true self slip out at a family event and they all looked so shocked and sad for me, it'd just make them feel so bad to know everything that really happened. I tried talking to one therapist about the threats once, and she called the police. They threatened to take my baby sisters, and she stopped talking to me for 3 years until I moved out and apologized and admitted how horrible I was to raise and that she was always "a really good mom for dealing with me like that" (lol).
I know I'm not supposed to but I do still love her and still and speak to them on facetime. I travelled 7 hours across the state to see the girls and it was just like old times– cooking and cleaning, constant lies and manipulation games, being called a "fucking idiot" 20 times for not knowing the electrical issues, having to pay $780 "rent" for a 4 day stay on the sofa, and having her boyfriend scream how he doesn't want me in his house the first minute we met, kick me out at 12am, my sisters and grandma crying their eyes out, everything. It was so horrible and I'm still recovering financially, but I do want to see them again while school is out.
How is that anything close to resembling a gender issue
I'm so ducking nervous because I have a convention coming up and it would have been cool but my boyfriend and I both lost our jobs so I don't have any money but I'm hosting the hotel room for friends. Some people dropped out last second so now I need like $600 just to cover our hotel costs and I can't back out now. I'm stress binge eating like a mother fucker so I feel sick as heck.
I'm going to do a bunch of work for my family and maybe ask for early birthday/Christmas present from parents to help cover this because what the fuck and I'm an idiot.
1. We should probably keep the vent thread free from arguments/drama.
2. Trans kids need representation for very similar reasons that that Anon needed it.
I hadn't spoken to my mother in 3 days on account of me moving into a new place, and on calling her just now she answered the phone sobbing. Turns out her boyfriend of 4 years just broke up with her to be with another woman, she's having a complete breakdown and I don't know how to help her. She actually knew when she got together with him that he was a philanderer with a reputation around women, but she's 53, lonely, vulnerable and so desperate for affection that she completely swallowed it when he convinced her that those days were behind him.
At the same time it's difficult to be too mad at the dude because he was a genuinely decent guy who's helped my family a lot over the years, and I actually got along with him so well. He's 66 and cancer has been after him for years in virtually every place you can get it, skin, bladder, prostate, stomach etc. Two weeks prior he recieved news that the cancer has returned again, so ofc I know what you're all thinking - he's having a mid+quarter life crisis and making dumb ass decisions because of it.
So my mum is sobbing down the phone about how she finally thought she'd found a good man and how she know that if he came back she'd immediately forgive him, and I don't know how to console her at all. She's so fragile and vulnerable, and I'm supposed to be her daughter, and I can't do anything for her. Literally nothing.
Listening to a parent cry like that is really one of the worst sounds in the world.
Gurl you go ahead and bleed that system dry. It's absolutely not fair on the taxpayer sure, but at the end of the day that's not your fault, it's the fault of the people who instituted such a shitty system in the first place.
Remember though that it's there for a reason and if you weren't using it it'd just be somebody else.
Why do men still act funny about women being in their communities on certain places on the internet? I've been on the internet for over a decade and I thought this retardation would've stopped by now.
I was just at a party and was drunk enough to the point where I would have hooked up with anyone but sadly that didn't happen! I wish my anxiety would still leave me alone when I'm drunk but sadly not…
>be on vacation at bfs house
>its really really hot
>no cuddling etc bc heat
>still get low-key ignored
>friend texts bf from the sea side
>they keep texting each other for a few hours
>I'm still being ignored
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother anymore. I know that after 6 years the "in-love phase" is over but come the fuck on…
tell him you want to hang out.
Today i went to have my hair cut into a bob because summer is annoying i bought a photo of kiko mizuhara (pic related). My hair was very healthy it was just a cut to survive the summer.
Normally i have a hairdresser i trust a lot but she wasn't there and they put me up with another one and since this is quite an expensive hairdresser i thought it couldn't be a bad one
>start getting hair cut
>literally chopping at my hair like it's a fucking bush that needs trimming, not even dividing it to cut it
>doesn't it look kinda long?
>don't worry it will rise up once when dry
>spends extra time styling it and is having a hard time with it
>it looks too long when she finished, around my shoulders, it looked alright so i wasn't about to get my head re-washed and have her go at it again just for a few inches
>she didn't show me the back but she said it was "round and straight like i asked" and that i looked really good
>it looked kinda good after all the styling so i let it be and left since it wasn't a disaster
>3 hours later the styling dissapears
>hair is long to my collarbones
>my left side is longer than my right by a lot
>hair flares to the sides
>most of my ends are broken from chopping at it like it's wool season
>it's cut like shit at the back and it's quite basically diagonal and making little triangles
>i look like a wine mom version of lord farquaad
>tears and regret
Going to a hairdresser is like a luxury to me, so i don't know when i'll be able to get it fixed, but fuck i never looked this ugly in all my years alive, and i've had some shitty haircuts in my life. I honestly just want to cry and not go outside ever again, i'm even considering picking up scissors and cutting it myself.
Complain and they might fix it for free?
Tried it and they told me they couldn't do it and i had to pay the whole thing again,
In the end i just cut the hair myself and it ended up looking exactly like the photo, only a tad bit shorter so i'm kinda happy with it. It doesn't suit me as much, but at least it doesn't look like a child with no hand eye coordination cut it for me anymore.
I've had so many experiences similar to yours anon. Cringe! I really feel for you.
After a series of bad hair salon experiences (really, only a few have even been good), I do all my own hair styling/cutting/dying/highlighting/treatments. It's honestly not that hard. Just get the right scissors (razors for thinning/feathering). Glad you were able to get it fixed up on your own!
(pic related is from a yelp review kek)
My friends keep putting me forward for these really good jobs but it's making me anxious because I really don't think I'm good enough for them. They seem to think wayyyy too highly of me. What if I just end up embarrassing myself with my shit code and slight lisp. Feelsbadman.
Oh man anon I'm so sorry. It's shitty that they wouldn't let you come back and fix it either. You should call and talk to your regular hairdresser and tell her what happened. Maybe you can get her private number and exclusively get appointments with her that way??
iktf about shitty cuts. I have been to 20+ hairdressers and most of them have been really nice but clearly completely clueless about my hair type (it's a shitshow to say the least) so I've basically given up ever finding my perfect hairdresser.
My mother just relapsed, again, and it triggered my recovering brother into relapsing again. So I lost both of them in the span of, like, two days. I think the worst part though is how I'm not angry or sad or anything. I'm so used to it by now that it genuinely doesn't even bother me anymore, and I think that's a bit unnerving.
So I just moved into my first apartment with my boyfriend last week. The place is ground floor, but one positive to the property is that it has an old-ass cellar accessible via a door in the hallway. The cellar is actually over 100 years old and still has the original cobbles at the bottom plus an old well and a stone animal trough in the corner, so I guess it used to be used to house goats or horses or something. We just use the space for storage, but I actually really hate going down there at all because it's like a prime crazed-murderer hideout space, and to reach the room at the bottom you have to walk down a curved, stone staircase where you can't actually see what's round the corner until you get to the bottom.
Well today I just walked into the flat, went to my bedroom to put my clothes down, walked back into the hallway and the door to the cellar is wide fucking open.
I always keep the cellar door locked because I'm frightened of it.
I've just been walking around the apartment for the last 10 mins with a knife in my hand checking every room and inside the wardrobe/under the bed. I've locked the cellar door again so if there is anything down there it's now locked underneath me. I'm sitting in the bedroom now with the door locked, with one of my boyfriend's axes (he's a forester), waiting for him to get back from work so we can investigate. I'm fucking petrified that somebody has broken in and is hiding down there waiting for us to go to sleep.
eek stay safe, anon. Text your boyfriend about it so he knows you're holed up in the room with the axe. Please don't accidentally axe your boyfriend.
Come back and update us when it's safe!
>>1436>posted 10 hours ago
Anon are u ded?
Im still traumatized re: home invasions (happened when I was younger) so I could neeeeever live in a ground floor apt or a house in a 3rd world country. Neeeever. I wouldnt be able to sleep at all
Sorry for the delay. I'm alive and predictably there was nobody in the cellar. I did ask my boyfriend if he had unlocked the door the morning before he went to work and he said no, so now my mind has gone from home intruder > GHOSTS.
>so I could neeeeever live in a ground floor apt
I don't know where you live but in the UK we have these tightly-built streets of houses called terraces. Because they're not usually elevated above the street it means that the windows to the front of the building are directly visible from outside (though everybody usually has net curtains for privacy). The drawback to this is of course, decreased privacy, whilst the benefit is surprisingly, decreased privacy. These kind of homes are nigh on impossible to invade without being witnessed and the entire street quickly becoming alerted, and you'd have to be a fucking moron to try. This means that within the UK the vast majority of homes that suffer invasions are the seemingly 'safer', more elevated, more isolated ones. It's not a particularly glamorous looking exterior, but it does tend to be a lot safer.
As soon as I get my internet set up I am going to WebM a recording of this cellar though and post it here because it's fucking nightmare fuel. My boyfriend did point out that the cellar is technically accessible via a ventilation/light grate outside, but had been bricked up decades ago. Why couldn't the landlord have renovated the cellar into a below-ground room… everybody else on the street has theirs renovated… /leftout
Me and my mom were hoping to have a girl's day out to day when low and behold we find out that there's a fucking White Nationalists rally being held in the very same area we go to like every weekend.
OT but I'm watching that protest ON the news right now. Crazy
It's really disgusting. Someone was struck and killed by a vehicle that mowed through a crowd of protestors. I'm thinking about all of the people in the actual heat of it. Things in my area are lax but my mom's a bit nervous to go anywhere.
Absolutely horrifying..How can someone be so full of anger that they are willing to ram their car into a group of people. The way they reversed so quickly to run away just shows that this was on purpose. Hopefully everyone is safe and we don't have to see anymore violence (wishful thinking obviously).
Okay so my mom asked me to buy ribs since I was already going to the supermarket. And okay, no problem.
Back home, she was not very happy to see that I brought whole (?) ribs, not sliced (?). She thanked me and all, but she was clearly mad. How the fuck am I supposed to know that, she didn't say anything and I don't even eat meat. So I am already annoyed.
Go to storage the fucking ribs on the fridge, my finger end up cutting on some hard edge coming from the fridge. Ok.
I'm gonna grab something in the kitchenware drawer and a knife that was placed upwards cut the other fucking finger. Nice.
I start cooking for me, a quiche, all going fine and dandy until the fucking herbs/spices/whatever grinder fucking opens at random and now I have the whole thing in my eggs, and also, a lot of eggs flew everywhere. I even shout an audible "NOO" and no fucking one even asks me what happened or if I am okay or whatever. I hope my stupid food doesn't taste like the sea.
I know it's rather stupid compared to shit on this thread, but I am just so mad.
Also they didn't have the soy milk I like at the market so I bought a random brand and it tastes like medicine and death. Total waste of money, I am not even sure how I am going to drink that shit.
I can't stand one of my coworkers. She's loud as fuck, very obnoxious, and rude. She's also a meddler is infamous as a backstabber. Everyone complains about her but before I got to know her better I thought they were just exaggerating. Uh no. I wish she'd just go away, holy fuck.
>Everyone complains about her but before I got to know her better I thought they were just exaggerating
I hate it when that happens.
I'm a really terrible awful person and I have a massive crush on someone who isn't my boyfriend. I can't stop daydreaming about being with them. I know I should either shit (break up with my bf) or get off the pot (stop talking to this person). I've just been feeling like absolute garbage. >>1385
I know this feeling anon. I've also tried talking to him about it but he just tells me he's not a "emotional, touchy-feely" kinda guy. He was when we first started dating though. Hopefully when/if you talk to your bf he's more understanding of your needs.
How long have you been with your bf anon? This is really pretty normal imo but I agree that you should stop talking to the person unless you're really considering breaking up
I'm pretty salty atm.
My friends were planning a date on our whatsapp group and decided to meet on a day that was impossible for me, since I was working. They didn't even wait for me to answer, since they planned all of this while I was working. This bummed me a little but it's not the first time that they plan things on days that are impossible for me, and I was happy for even being invited tbh.
One of these girls is moving out of the country later this month, and apparently they all planned a goodbye meet-up at the airport before she leaves without telling me anything. One of them mentioned it by accident on the whatsapp group, ensuing a very awkward clarification of course. At this point I don't even want to go because I know I'm not wanted. I feel like I'm stuck in this stupid cycle of
>be left out of event
>find out about event somehow
>lose all the will to go, pass
>next event: "oh anon i didn't know you were interested, you never go to this sort of thing"
Anyone else feels like this? It's bad, man…
We've been together for about 3 years. I know technically it's normal, and I've had a few random crushes here and there that go away quickly but this feels different. The crush is probably, like, fourth or fifth on the list of big problems I have with the relationship. This is my only experience with a long term relationship though. I really am considering breaking up with my bf but I'm not sure. I've been feeling it in my gut for a while now, but I know it's terrible since it would look like I'm dumping him for someone else. I'm not really planning on pursuing anything with this crush either way since it would be long distance. It just doesn't seem right to be in a relationship that isn't working for either of us, when both of us could be feeling these things for other people. I'm gonna talk to my bf soon, I just hope I can articulate what I feel without spilling my spaghetti.
Even though it feels horrible to be left out then given a pity invite, I think you should start going to those. Since you always pass, how would they know to invite you the next time around? At this point they're not thinking of you because you haven't been going to these things and forming deeper connections with them, as they have been with each other. Sucks to have to swallow your pride the first pity-invites around, but it wouldn't kill you to try it.
The older I get the more introverted I get. I just find hanging out with other people to be very exhausting, and it gives me headaches after a while especially if there are other factors pushing my limits, like if we're hanging out in a crowded or loud place.
I'm afraid that I'll get old and lonely if I don't make an effort to maintain friendships now, but at the same time I'm not sure I even like most of these people. Wish they at least liked low key hangouts and didn't drag events out to last forever, it would be much more enjoyable to keep friends that way.
This past weekend I invited a friend to see a show. She brought her friend and asked to get dinner ahead of time, which I was totally fine with. I figure I would be okay so long as we part ways at the end of the show, and I figure that would be even easier to do if I was leaving her at the venue with her friend instead of all alone. Long story short she kept pushing to hang out more, to the point that they left when they saw me leave even though they were talking to a different group of people and it made me feel bad to be cutting into their social time (even though it wasn't my fault at all, I talked to them ahead of time to let them know I wanted to part ways and tried to just say goodbye before leaving as to not be rude). Later on while we were grabbing a bite to eat, another person we knew walked in and she invited them to sit with us (which I was dreading because of course that makes our meal twice as long) I tried to offer the friend my seat. It seemed like a good excuse to get out because it was a small, crowded place that was swamped with people leaving the show and it was rude to hog a seat after we finished our meals anyhow. But then she starts up with the 'no, don't go, you don't have to go, stay!' and then she drops the line "What, do you not like Tom (person who just showed up)?"
Now that I've had some distance form the situation it seems like a pretty rude and manipulative thing to say, but at the time I was dead fucking tired and just kinda stunned she'd say that, so I stuck around while she hunted around this packed place to find an extra chair for her friend and sat around while he ate and talked to her but not really to me at all, and then I was stuck talking to them on the way home since we took the same subway. All in all it made the whole hang out twice as long as expected and it took me the rest of the weekend to recover. I talked to her about this before, and let her know it's not personal just sometimes I want to do quiet things or leave early, and she's better in some aspects, but overall she still does this shit often enough that I'm starting to resent her and avoid her a bit because of it.
You are right on, anon. Being so prideful, I feel like I'm not allowed to feel bad about it. But it's still difficult.
I really want to say goodbye to my friend anyway.
Just tell people you have something to do early the next morning so you "have to go home early", that's what I do, even if all I'm doing the next morning is sleeping in.
I'm quite an eccentric person, but I also have ADHD as a 26 year old woman. This makes me feel I am doomed professionally. Should I kms or just git gud so people are forced to employ me even though I have absolutely 0 filter and do whatever weird shit comes into my head for the sole purpose of making myself laugh?
>eating at ice cream shop
>old lady and her 3 friends turn around and look at me
>says i look just like her granddaughter
>she says we have the same smile, complexion, hair color
>all nicey nice and awkward smiles
>old lady randomly eyes my body up and down and states that her granddaughter is thinner than me though
>why the fuck would you say that.jpg
>i find it extremely rude and my mood does a 180
>think her granddaughter must be 12 or something
>old lady then states her granddaughter is 25, i didnt even ask
>theres no fucking way unless shes a literal midget or anorexic, i weigh 72 lbs
>feeling insecure as shit and like im not good enough because someone older than me is supposedly thinner
>all i start thinking/heard is that im too fat
>feel disgusting standing there in my short shorts and crop top
>start hating myself because i know im overreacting and that my mental illness (not anorexia) is twisting the comment into something it shouldnt be
i know im being WAY too dramatic but i still think it was totally unnecessary to comment on my weight. im so used to being showered in comments like "wow youre so thin" and "put some meat on your bones" so this was really… different, you know? im ready for the hate but i needed to get this off my chest somewhere
thats 32 kg. I hope you are indeed a "little person" because no healthy "normal sized " person can weight that little.
tbh not sure if b8
I'm pretty sure she's mentally ill, and was purposely trying to trigger you.
72 pounds is generally an abnormal weight for an adult woman. I'm not trying to be rude, but is there a reason you wear skimpy outfits if it clearly brings you negative attention?
what the fuck? 72 lbs is legitimately underweight unless you're an actual child
I really don't like being a responsible adult. It's not very rewarding, it brings you the same things you've always had as a child except now you have to work hard for them. There's not much freedom in it, especially if you're working. You only have x hours of free time and you can hardly get anything done in that time. I always have to choose between living a healthy lifestyle and having fun. People say you 'have more freedom' as an adult but I had a lot more freedom in secondary school. I studied Japanese, I explored my city, I had time to learn so many new things.
Now I can't escape from those 'self-made entrepreneurs' who constantly nag everyone about self-improvement and always learning but I haven't the time to pick up a book and learn something new, and when I do it has to be related to my field or else it's 'useless'. What I wouldn't give to start studying Japanese again, but I simply can't afford to. Now I have to learn how to code, because everyone else is doing it and I have to keep up to stay hireable. I have to attend rubbish seminars to show that I'm always learning and complete useless online courses. When I do get to have fun, it's usually something simple like going shopping or to a cafe with my bf. I wish I had PeachMilky's life, she gets to live her dream and I have to work my arse off to be able to give my impoverished parents a decent standard of living, financially support my bf who was too lazy to finish secondary school (yes I'm that anon) and now can't even hold down a minimum wage job because he's competing with more qualified teens and African migrants, and buy myself expensive doodads to comply with my employer's dress code and keep up with the corporate cock swinging of my colleagues/rivals. Thankfully my bf does all the housework and cooking, otherwise I would've had to think about that too.
Whoever said adults have more freedom was a fucking liar. Serves me right for growing up a weeaboo I guess, if I liked parties and getting high I would've had plenty of time and opportunities to do so.
Hey anon, sorry to hear you are feeling down. I'll say it sounds like you have reason to feel upset, as you must know deep down that you are wasting your life and forgoing your dreams
>>I wish I had PeachMilky's life, she gets to live her dream
I've heard of this girl before, but I'm not quite sure what she does. I can't imagine her blog/videos bring in much income. What is it you want in life that she has?
>>I have to work my arse off to be able to give my impoverished parents a decent standard of living
It's really not your duty to take care of your parents. They are adults and a selfless parent wouldn't have you give up your happiness/dreams to support them. If they are senior citizens (55+) then most countries have subsidized housing and food programs for impoverished seniors.
>>Financially support my bf who was too lazy to finish secondary school (yes I'm that anon) and now can't even hold down a minimum wage job because he's competing with more qualified teens and African migrants
If your boyfriend is having a difficult time even holding down a minimum wage job, what's to stop him from finishing secondary school and learning a trade or going to university? If he's so lazy that he has you working all day while he spends probably 2 hours MAX cooking and cleaning…is this really someone you want as a life partner? The older you get, the more your value to men as marriage material decreases. I'm in my late twenties and have learned this the hard way seeing as I only have a few years before I hit 30 and many of my peers are already married or engaged. If you plan on having kids, a lazy man is the worst partner you could have…
Personally, I suggest helping your parents to gain access to assistance for elderly/poor. If they refuse to utilize this assistance or expect you to do everything, then there is not much else you can do. You need to live your life anon. I highly recommend a counselor in your situation. I'm guessing you are under 30, but time flies the older you grow. Don't let your life be a waste!
>>1592>What is it you want in life that she has?
Well, she gets to travel whilst working. I don't. The industry I work in doesn't really do remote working schemes.>most countries have subsidized housing and food programs for impoverished seniors
They don't provide much. Housewives in particular are dealt a shite hand, and my parents are separated so my mum (a housewife) is all alone. She's also €70000 in debt and at risk of becoming homeless. That debt would then transfer onto me if she can't pay it off in full (and she can't). Her monthly income is €250. That is very
little and not enough to live off of.>The older you get, the more your value to men as marriage material decreases.
I don't really care about men, children nor marriage. Most men I've met have proven to be people I wouldn't want in my life if you paid me, and ime those are the kind of men who determine a woman's worth only as a function of her age and no more.
I've enough money to pay a woman to cook and clean for me, but the reason I support my bf is because 7 years ago I was without a place to live or study and he took me in, took care of me and loved me when nobody else would have even cast a second glance at me. It's thanks to him that I have this job and lifestyle in the first place, and I would be a hypocrite to ignore that. I don't know how much longer we'll stay together, but I'll know when to end it.
Not bait! Sorry if it comes off that way. I saw tons of other girls on lolcow say they were the same weight as me in the weight/height thread so I didnt think stating my weight here would be as surprising. I do acknowledge it is abnormal and severely underweight, there's nothing I can do about it. I was just blowing off some steam about how crazy and shitty I felt yesterday because my brain had to blow what she said out of proportion. >>1588
It's summer and it's hot as hell. I've never gotten negative attention for wearing shorts and a crop top before. No woman should.
>>1595>I saw tons of other girls on lolcow say they were the same weight as me in the weight/height thread
God that website is cancer
In any case I hope you're healthy.
Basically gurl, the old woman was a crazy bitch, assumed your thinness was ED related, and wanted to trigger you.
Just putting it bluntly. She's a cunt, pay no attention people like that.
It's like this crazy old bitch that started screaming at me on oxford street in London for wearing a "summer dress in winter". They're just old and bitter their fannys are dry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I had an infection in one of my eyes this week due to (possible) misuse of contacts. Idk what I did wrong since I've wore contacts regularly since I was 15, but I'm still worried anyway. My doctor is going to see me again this afternoon. Maybe I'm just overreacting but I'm going to get rid of some of my sheets and most of my eye makeup… It sucks but I'd rather be safe than sorry.
Lucky me, my eye is normal again and I'll come off the antibiotics soon, phew…thank god.
I used to get infections in my eyes all the time, I wore contacts, and it was so frequent I never bothered to change my makeup, yet lo and behold 5+ years later my eyes are fine and rarely get infected.
I suffer from dry eyes and I think it's the Refresh PM ointment or drops that have helped (i didn't use them when I used to get infections all the time) prevent infection in my eyes in general.
Also, why replace sheets for an eye infection? I've never heard of that as a reaction.
He didn't say I should, I'm just overreacting because this is the first time I had one, so I was/am very worried. I'll ask him about drops today, ty
I wish someone would love me as much as my parents love each other
Well if you want to stay in your miserable situation, it's your choice anon.
>>1595>>im so used to being showered in comments like "wow youre so thin" and "put some meat on your bones"
Hey anon, what I meant to write is that it sounds like the negativity you are receiving might be because you are underweight and dress in a way that draws attention to that.
Being underweight generally wouldn't be so noticeable if you wore a flowy skirt, loose pants and regular top. It sounds like perhaps you feed off the "so skinny" comments, but if not, you can still stay cool without wearing short shorts and a crop top. Not trying to shame you, but you sound really unwell mentally and physically. Even if a lot of anons are underweight, being around 70 pounds is incredibly unhealthy unless you are incredibly short. Hope you get better!
Thank you for the concern, I am physically fine. Like I said, there's nothing I can do about it and this is where my body weight has always stayed since I turned into a fully grown adult.
You are right though, I am mentally unhealthy and I do take those skinny comments as a compliment. However, I don't mind them in a way that makes me want to change the way I dress and even in the winter when I wear loose sweaters and jeans, I still get those types of comments. On an unrelated note, I've been wanting some cute midi skirts lol. No hard feelings!
>>1591>People say you 'have more freedom' as an adult but I had a lot more freedom in secondary school.
It's the exact reverse for me. I grew up poor with fucked-up parents who will beat me if they suspected I did anything wrong in their mind (like communicating in any way with boys my age for example), so now that I'm an adult with my own money and friends, I feel so much better. A lot of people my age told me the same things as you and honestly, I can't relate to anything since I had almost no freedom before. I'd say though, I definitely have less free time between college and my job but at least I can do something with it.
If anything, it's your particular situation with your parents and bf that are holding you back.
>>1606>literally said mother is in debt and I would inherit the debt if I don't help her, tanking my credit score if I do>"you choose to stay in that situation lol"
What is wrong with you? If it were that easy I'd have already done it. You act as if you know everything about my situation from one post and act offended when I explain why it's not so simple as what you said.
I suggest spending some time offline if you take things so personally.
Actually in which country are you living? Why would you inherit your mother's debt? I've been told in some countries you can choose to refuse to inherit anything from your parents, debts included, but I don't know much about the law in my own country. Anyway, try to see if you can do something about this first, it looks like this is your biggest problem.
I just got back from vacation and some combination of jet lag sleep schedule, foreign climate, sweating profusely, different brand of cleanser (it was in a travel size tube), antibiotics or whatever caused my face to break out the even worse than peak puberty and aged me like 5 years.
I feel so ugly fml
That helps when people are being reasonable, but lots of times that gets twisted and they take it personally that I left early and will guilt me next time we see each other. One time I left saying I really needed to get food (but that was only half the reason, the other half was social exhaustion) and later on someone told me that people asked if I was okay when left and he made some jokes at my expense about me being a grumpy bitch when I'm hungry. I don't think I was being rude, I said good by to everyone and paid for my drinks, but that particular group of people has a pattern of behavior that's kinda catty. In a different group of people they also made passive aggressive comments about someone else who left early and it made me feel bad because they probably say the same things about me when I leave early too.
Ultimately the answer is probably I need new friends but damn that's a lot of social energy too. My bf and his friends are much more chill and don't give a fuck if I leave early, they just want to say bye first, but I feel lame just hanging out with him and his friends instead of making my own. I have a phobia of making my bf my world and then getting screwed over in the end because I dated an abusive asshat in the past, but maybe I shouldn't worry so much about it now because my current bf is a different person and much nicer.
My YouTube channel got terminated (rightfully so and I'm not upset about that) but what does upset me is that the videos uploaded were only shared between me and another person, no one else.
He swears he didn't do it and I believe him because he would have no reason or gain to share or report them.
So who the fuck found them and what the fuck happened? No one accessed my account since you get an instant notification and need a code to get it that gets sent to your phone. what the f u c k
depending on the content of the videos, it could of been a number of things. Youtube still have unlimited access to all videos, even private ones, and their rules still apply.
It's why privately sharing film rips get taken down a lot. Reee
Youtube has autodetect on copyright depending on what was uploaded and sometimes it just takes a while for the detector to find your video. This has happened to me multiple times with a certain band and record label.
I'm trying to muster up the courage to email y friend who I've been a really shitty friend to (Not responding to emails/texts) for a long time. I don't want to lose my friend, she's done so much for me and I enjoy her. I just really suck at managing personal relationships and having lingering social anxiety that I need to treat and either can't think of anything to say or hate what I have to say. But I need to do something because the relationship is dead at this point.
Just do it, if all you've done is ignore them they won't mind. Most everyone's a headcase these days anyway.
Just having a bad day. Anxiety is high, very visible allergy symptoms plus stress and disappointments from my daily life. I want to cry but I'm trying to be good and productive and make myself feel better instead of giving in
I'm so fucking confused and hurt right now. I finally found a job that I genuinely think I would enjoy doing and when I told my mother that I was applying for them, she got really angry for no reason and started yelling, "YOU CAN'T JUST APPLY FOR THAT JOB, YOU HAVE TO APPLY TO OTHER JOBS TOO" even though I never said I was only applying for the job I wanted which there's multiple positions of open in multiple close areas. I told her this, but she wouldn't fucking stop screaming and sperging out about how I should apply at other places. This particular job would look really good as a starting point on my resume too considering the type of education I want to pursue in the future.
After that occurred, I was still applying for jobs online and I noticed they all ask for your social security number. I don't have it on me because my mother thinks I'm going to lose it so she always takes it from me and holds it instead.
She came storming in my room to get some clothes and I asked her what my social security number is when she knows I'm applying for jobs JUST like she asked and all she could muster was a bitchy, "I don't know. It's in my purse." and stormed off with her shit. I texted her asking what it was. No response. How the fuck can I apply for any job if I don't have my social security when it's mandatory to have? She's the one who wants me to get a job so badly in the first place. All I ever fucking hear is, "You need to apply for a job this weekend or I'm kicking you out!" and what can I not do because of her pettiness? Apply for any fucking jobs in the area.
She's got no one but herself to blame. I hope I do kicked out because once that happens, I'm never speaking to her again and she can forever say goodbye to her daughter. I don't need this bullshit in my life.
What the fuck, is she menopausal?
Fuck that. Make sure you can safely secure your personal identification documents before you leave, you can always get copies but it's a pain especially if you don't have some other identification to confirm your identity with. I personally regret not getting my birth certificate and passport before I left, but luckily I had 2 other IDs for the 2 ID requirements most adult-y things need.
Is there a name for this kind of complex? When parents want their kids to be dependent on them so they can keep them around to yell at them for not being independent enough and make themselves feel better? Like a punching bag complex? My parents were like this too and I have a ton of stories related to it but one that really grinds my gears happened at the start of high school, when I got into a really good academic program where I'd get to live away from home for but my dad threw a tantrum and flipped a table and threw a bunch of forms I was filling out in order to enroll. He hounded me to apply in the first place! I ended up not going because younger me always froze up when he got angry, it was the only way I knew how to minimize the possibility of physical harm.
>>1649>when I got into a really good academic program where I'd get to live away from home for but my dad threw a tantrum and flipped a table and threw a bunch of forms I was filling out in order to enroll. He hounded me to apply in the first place! I ended up not going because younger me always froze up when he got angry, it was the only way I knew how to minimize the possibility of physical harm.
holy shit, i'm sorry, anon. im guessing the punching bag complex would just be labelled abuse. mental and physical abuse are both awful things to deal with and parents like this probably do it to make themselves feel better. its like a power/ego trip for them.
>mfw I have to work overtime for 3 weeks straight>I'm getting more and more annoyed by some of my coworkers for no reason so that's even worse>once my contract will end I'll go to college so that means I didn't have any rest or vacations for the whole summer>>1649
Sounds like my fucked-up parents,except my mother was way nicer and had good intentions and my father would straight up beat me and spread rumors about me. And they were surprised I only got my first job at almost 23 yo. OP needs to get her security card and ID asap,you'll feel great applying for jobs freely without having to tell your parents anything.
I know this is petty af but it is bothering me sooo much. I made a new online buddy very recently and today I found out she uses Tumblr terms like zee. Stupid, I know, but it completely changed the way I felt about her. I was kinda pumped for this possible friendship and now I'm like "um">>1649
That's awful, anon! I've lost many opportunities because of my mom too but nothing exactly like that.
Don't be discouraged too much anon, try to find out, maybe she is one of those ppl who don't really believe in tumblr genders, but don't want any drama…
Thought personally I would drop her…cause from personal experience these people bring unnecessary and dumb drama
My 7-year old Welsh Corgi was diagnosed with IVDD. I know it's treatable and has a very good recovery rate and money for surgery isn't a problem, he's my baby and I'm ready to put all the money I have saved up into treatment. But still, it feels so horrible. I try to be strong when I talk about it with my mom (the dog lives with her since my apartment doesn't allow pets) but really, I just want to bawl my eyes out when I think about it.
I just want my dog to be able to live happily for another 7 years. I don't know what I'll do if he needs to be put down. Right now I feel like I'll die too if he does.
I'm in a much better place now and haven't talked to anyone in my family in years. I'm still bitter and sorting through mental baggage and it helps to have an anon place to vent about it so just wanted to say thanks for understanding.>>1651
Your dad sounds like absolute garbage but I am proud of you anon for persevering anyways and getting a job and getting into college.
My mother keeps calling me fat and telling me how I'll get fat if I keep eating like I do.
She has no idea what my current weight is and that I'm at the lower end of healthy right now, struggling to keep it that way. I'm into fitness and am an active person who counts their calories, so I know I won't gain shit unless I keep going over my cals for a week or more. I know about nutrition and all the stuff that comes with it, of course not on a pro level, but still probably more than the averave person.
I'm sure she's reflecting her insecurities onto me, since she's fat and "can't" lose weight. Still, it's irritating as shit because she thinks she knows everything just vecause she's old. God forbid I tell her to stop because it's rude (in a polite and calm way), then I'm "talking back" and am being a cunt. "You're not supposed to talk to your mother like that!!" Bitch shut up, I'm not a kid you can emotionally abuse anymore
I'm really sick of how doctors are treating me and I really need help. My periods are severe (to the point of me shaking, vomitting and fainting) and I've seen about 6 doctors, three gynecologists and I was brought to the hospital once. All they could give me were painkillers, the contraceptive pill (which did not go well for me) and in a few cases, told me to give birth (I was 19 at the time). I normally miss a day or two of school/college due to the pain and it being dangerous for me to leave the house when I could faint. A friend (who had endo) told me that it could be something very serious, especially if it goes untreated but none of the doctors take me seriously. I overdose on painkillers a lot and it's not good.
Right now I'm sitting with a hot water bottle filled with boiling water against my back and I can't move, sometimes I sit in a hot bath for as long as I can stand but I didn't last long today because I felt woozy. I haven't been able to keep down any food or painkillers. I've just been sitting here shaking and crying, I don't know what to do. This is ruining my life. I'm afraid of what to do next year when I have to work.
Has anyone else suffered from abnormal periods? Were you taken seriously by doctors? Can you give me any tips for killing pain?
I am often in major pain because of my periods and sometimes I get so hot and dizzy that I pass out too. Although since I live in Burgerland and am poor, none of the doctors will treat me or take me seriously since I'm on public aid and they don't get paid as much. What I do to try and make myself feel better is take an ibuprofen, eat (even if i can barely chew or walk), drink plenty of water, and lay my ass down. You're not alone.
I hate my summer job so fucking much. All we do is fucking useless weed picking that nobody actually gives a shit about. It's either fucking cold and rainy or disgustingly hot. My knees have started to hurt because of all the constant squatting up and down and I want to ask for a day or two of sick leave to let them rest but I guess I don't want to let them think I'm not a hard worker so I won't. Fuck this. Every day I wake up at six and wish I'd died in my sleep.
a band i've loved for years announced a tour that would be going through my long distance boyfriend's city on my birthday. i immediately told him about it, told him i would love it if he could get us tickets for my birthday, and he shut me down. he told me it was selfish of me to even ask that of him, that he's never gone to shows for bands he doesn't like for any of his girlfriends and he's not going to change that now. when i got upset about being called selfish and at him for being completely unwilling to sacrifice anything for me on my birthdat he turned it back around on me and i had to comfort him for being sad and upset that he made me sad and upset.
sorry for this being so long but i'm unhappy and i feel like total garbage and i don't know if i am being selfish for wanting to go to this concert for my birthday with him.
Tbh if someone did that to me I'd dump their ass.
I don't think wanting to do something nice with your boyfriend on your goddamn birthday is selfish at all. He on the other hand seems like a selfish prick. Who the hell can't go to one concert with their girlfriend, especially if it's for her birthday? Surely it wouldn't be so horrible to listen to a band you're not a fan of if you make the other person happy.
he sounds like a total piece of shit
d u m p h i m
& then go to the concert with a friend. & have loads of fun. & drink fizzy pop.
Dump him, he is not worth your time
wow what a dickweed. drop his ass like a fly and go with a friend or alone and meet people there.
That's good to know, anon x I wish there was help out there for women like us. Are you working at the moment?
Me too, anon. I am not working due to moving around a lot this year, sorry. I do have an interview tomorrow for a job and my period's coming up soon so I hope it's not too bad when I start, if I do get hired. I'm nervous as heck…
You're not selfish for asking that of him, but he does have the right to refuse going to that concert with you if he really doesn't want to.
Ask if he'd buy your ticket as a bday gift and eat with him before or after and go alone. It's much better to be alone at a show with a band you love then try to force him to go with you.
shout out to all the moms/parents out there, i really don't know how you people do it. i have family over from africa including four kids and they're sweet kids but i also want to blow my brains out. everythings so sticky, there's crumbs everywhere, and everytime i turn my back someones punching or biting someone else.
I bought my first "real" perfume (hypnotic poison) recently and while I love the scent the spray nozzle leaks and the resulting moisture accumulation is causing the metallic coat of the top to flake off. Not only am I pissed that I spent $60 on something that doesn't work, I think it's embarrassing that I could get a better quality bottle from fucking Bath&Body Works.
can you take it back and ask for a new one? Most places offer exchanges on faulty products Anon!
I'm having an extremely hard time finishing my 7 chapter comic. I drew it all out as a draft already, so i just have to actually draw, scan, clean up, and maybe post it somewhere. But I'm having a hard time mostly because of the story. I decided to go for a simple, short story since i wanted to practice actually finishing a project. But I drew the roughs, i guess, when i was feeling extra philosophical since it deals with what defines living and shit. I think it's an alright theme, but i can't help but feel embarrassed for myself and i end up getting into a "who cares" and "this is too edgy" mindset.
also sucks that today's the last day of summer for me, and i was supposed to have finished drawing everything by now. I don't know how i'll ever become a professional artist/writer if i keep on getting embarrassed about my stuff
If you need a cleaner, I can do that. Just saying if you ever need it!
I just spent the last 5 hours disassembling, stripping and reassembling my laptop trying to correct a fault with what could have been either my GPU or my LCD.
I powered it up 20 minutes ago and the fault is still present. External monitor confirms that the GPU is fine but the LCD is fucked. I guess the inverter became kill when it fell off my desk, and honestly I knew that from the beginning, but I was so desperate for it to not be true.
Now I need to find £80 to buy a new LCD… or, maybe it's just the ribbon cable that needs replacing! Okay I just realised that, hope potentially restored!
I'm a comic artist too, anon!
I'm actually in the exact same space as you in that I too am trying to write something with a god damn ending for once and I'm trying to keep it short. I also feel the cringe when I think about people reading my bullshit lmao.
I don't know how to get past the "DON'T LOOK" stage of writing but something I know that what helps me is remembering that the reader is not going to read it in your voice. I want to die when I hear my voice in my head reading my edgy ass dialogue but then I remind myself that other people will imagine voices appropriate to my characters.
People LOVE art and stories and you'd be surprised how willing people are to suspend their disbelief to read something that captures their interest. I am always searching for new comics on the web and the only ones I'm really critical of are COOL GUNS or tumblr ones because they're insufferable. If you're writing anything more complex than a 2004 sprite comic then it's better than more than half of webcomics already. People will be a LOT more forgiving of any flaws you perceive in your writing than you are.
Be confident! I'm sure your comic is amazing.
Thanks for the offer, but i really need to learn how to do all the steps myself. it's a small story so i really shouldn't use up other people's time with it heh>>1722
Thanks for the kind words! It honestly made me feel alot better to know that other people feel embarrassed about their work. I'll definitely try to keep working on it even if it's not the best story and art (I'm going full on traditional). Do you know which websites are best for putting out your work? and what do you mean by tumblr comics?
Good luck on your comic as well!
I'm starting university soon and I'm filled with regret over my life so far.
I lost pretty much all my friends during 5th~7th grade so I didn't get to experience any stereotypical teenage stuff (didn't help that I still had occasional contact with my best childhood friend who told me about all kind of fun shit he got up to (like stealing christmas trees during the night from vendors and other *~crazy stuff))
Did any of you feel this way? Did you get over that feeling?
It's stupid but deep down I have this hope that uni will be better and I'll actually get to have cool experiences, but at the same time I feel like school was the better opportunity for this stuff because now "adulting" and being serious starts, I guess.
I didn't really have many friends in high school and was dealing with a whole bunch of personal issues I guess so I didn't really do stereotypical teenage stuff either. I never asked to join people in doing fun stuff and they never asked me to join.
I started uni last year and I would say it's definitely been better. I've been going out and having fun, meeting new people, doing shit I've never done before.
I'd say don't worry about "adulting". Just because you have to pay your bills and cook for yourself doesn't mean anyone expects you to be a full grown adult while you're still a student (I assume you're pretty young since you're just starting uni). Students are pretty much universally expected to do stupid shit since most of us are moving out of our parents house for the first time and are finally getting a taste of freedom.
Honestly, I don't feel like I missed much when I didn't get to do teenage stuff because it just seems kind of immature to me now. I don't think you should feel like you missed anything either. People who say high school was the best time in their life are either full of shit or probably have pretty boring lives IMO.
Sorry about the long ass post. Congrats on getting to uni, anon! Have fun and really, don't worry about being serious yet.
I stood in front of a full length mirror in my pantsu for the first time in a year or so and I'm actually so angry at how out of shape I've gotten. I've been trying to lose weight recently too and it's only dropping like 1lb every three weeks.
I'm just super uncomfortable. None of my clothes fit me and I'm super mad I've disrespected myself like this. Gonna treat myself to some intense running this week to trigger my spartan goddess mode. Fucking bleh.
I hear this place is great! https://tapas.io/
There's meant to be a good community there and I think there's some way to give people money through the site but I don't remember (and patreon's probably better for that tbh). You need to optimise the comics for phones there I think but all you'd really need to do is digitally enlarge some speech bubbles/clean up the font if your words are very small.
I think the platform doesn't matter nearly as much as spreading the word and getting it out there. Der-shing Helmer has some good tutorials on getting publicity and stuff. http://shingworks.tumblr.com/post/158236022113/shingworks-brand-tutorial
Her other tutorials are great too, she does one on how to make a successful Patreon.
It's all pretty daunting though tbh.
lol ummm tumblr comics… I guess I'm just sick of the style of comics that keep coming out of tumblr. Preachy, red-nosed, heart-mouthed characters yelling about political stuff that is either badly sourced shitty information or just plain nutty. All the characters are made up of every possible quirk/obstacle/disability/race and it just ends up being a masturbatory exercise in a futile attempt to win favour (and money) from the tumblrzone.
My parents have been abroad for 2 weeks now and they will come back home next week, so it's just me and two of my sisters at home. They're so fucking stupid. They don't know how to do the laundry and dishes so they never do it and now, no matter how much I clean at least what I do, the kitche smells like death. Worst part is that I taught them so many time how to do it.
My big sister is a huge cunt too, yesterday I told her not to take my things from the fridge and let it rot outside of the fridge for days and she wouldn't stop yelling at me and telling me that she would beat the shit out of me again and again. She also doesn't want to give me back some nail polish she stole from me (while pretending she borrowed it, lmfao), nor does she want to pay it back. Same thing, she wants to "send me to the hospital" if I ask her again. Can't wait until she gets her own flat and dies under her own trash. She also won't stop bragging about being a good Muslim girl and preaching how I'm a bad person for not eating halal meat and getting along with white people, but she won't stop insulting and harassing people, smoking, getting wasted and dress "like a slut" (quotinh her on this because she says that about others who dress the way she does but doesn't even realise it). She also used to do drugs and her only boyfriend was a white guy, while she's now proud of hating white people.
tldr; my sisters can't do the most basic chores and want me to do everything for them, and the oldest one is a trashy cunt.
omgggg that fucking sucks, anon.
Honestly, she sounds like she must be going through some weird shit in her life to be acting so irrational (send you to the hospital? lmao wtf).
When your parents go out of town it's meant to be fun, like hanging out and eating snacks and staying up all night watching shitty movies. They should be taking care of themselves, they're not babies. They should be able to do their own laundry lol.
Was your relationship with your sisters always this bad?
report your sister for extremism, it'll be fucking jokes.
On a level though I totally feel you anon. I have loads of sisters and we used to have crazy fights go down when our parents went away. Thinking of you <3
Thank you so much for the info, i'll definitely check those out!
So tumblr stuff is just pandery stuff, got it
The oldest one has always been a violent psycho according to my mother, but as a kid I thought it was normal because my father is even worse and I've always seen my family being violent in general. I wouldn't say she's going through a phase or that something in particular is happening in her life. Basically she used to be a rebellious teenager,skipping classes in high school, being a slob, smoking,drinking and doing drugs behinf my parents' back. My parents are so fucked up in the head that they think girls are sluts by default so they didn't want any of us to have a social life because that would mean hanging out with boys my age and to use makeup and wear trendy clothes before we're 18 (because they're muslims). I listened because I didn't want to be beaten (I still got beaten anyway because my father thought it was fun, I'm quoting) but my big sister probably thought she might as well do everything wrong and hide it. Dumb bitch gets caught,my father breaks her nose because they're both violent for no reason. And suddenly she does a 180 turn and decides that she's a good muslim woman and that she's better than everyone for fasting only one day per year duting the ramadan,eating halal meat and avoid pork. But she still smokes, drinks,insults and threatens her own family over petty shit and steals from me,my sisters and my mother on a regular basis,all of which is forbidden. Bitch is crazy. I think her breaking up with her white bf because he started dating a white girl made her a huge racist too.
I was getting along just fine with my little sister until she decided she wanted to beat me for eating some specific food she doesn't like in the kitchen. She told me to get out while I was eating food she doesn't like, so I tell her to wait until I'm done because I'm in a kitchen so it's normal for me to eat (she wasn't eating). She wouldn't stop insulting me and threathening me until I told her to shut up,she tried to beat me and push me near an open window for it because I'm disrespecting her (she thinks it's normal to disrespect me for some reason,I'm not even exaggerating) and as a reflex I threw something at her. I thought I really injured her but instead I fucked up my hand, I apologized and she never did, and instead threatened me even more so I said fuck it, she doesn't deserve any more second of my time if she thinks she can just act like this with me and think it's fine. It was months ago, and she still didn't notice I don't care about her anymore because she acts like nothing happened even though she tried to push me off a fucking window.
The only people in my family who isn't fucked up is my mother but she's an enabler and the youngest sister who will probably become as stupid as them if she doesn't get out of here fast enough. I plan on leaving the house as soon as I graduate and take the youngest one with me if possible, I'm tired of this.
Do you need someone to talk to anon? Have a discord?
I do have a discord but I'm more comfortable being completly on anon to talk about these things.
I'm such a perfectionist, but I'm never good enough. Everything I do is hit by hard critique from myself, so I keep pushing and pushing myself but I just can't get to where I want to be. Maybe this is because of having a narc mother who never noticed any of my positives and criticised me throughout my childhood has made me this way. I will never be good enough for the person I like either. I've tried so hard but nothing changes, I know this person is toxic, but so am I. I'm not perfect, or even decent or anything and I feel so sick of trying to, I just want to ruin myself, I want to Britney 07. I want to make sure no one will love me because I'm so sick of just trying and being so close yet so far. I'm sick of having to deal with being chatted up and desired by grotesque people I have no interest in, fawning over me, feeding me lies like I'm supposed to be happy about it, and making me feel guilty for feeling no adoration in return. I don't even want to get better anymore, I want to sabotage everything and destroy everything I worked hard for. I feel I'm honestly at my breaking point.
Sorry for insane rant.
you're definitely warping it, strangers have no logical reason to spontaneously get catty at someone, right? she has a possibly sick granddaughter who she loves, you look a lot like her, they were likely all discussing your similarities and as old ladies commonly are, they were being genuinely nice for the resemblance. unless you have dwarfism, you are not fat by any definition and because someone else is thinner than you are doesnt make your own body become overweight. being underweight isn't something which would make you "good enough", its putting effort into being good that does.
I had a similar issue to you, my perfectionism resulted in me losing friends though. Everyone got fed up of me being a bitch about everyone and everything, including myself. When I look back it's horrifying because at the time I genuinely didn't realize how awful I was. Like you it probably stemmed from my family.
But if I can learning to get out of it, so can you. It's illogical too to sabotage after you worked so hard, so don't do that! Become more accepting of yourself and others. do it for yourself anon, and learn to love yourself
I'm being such a petty, insecure bitch right now and I'm honestly hating myself for it.
Bf's first ex gf contacted him, saying how her grandma is in the hospital and how she probably doesn't have much longer to live. I know the two of them are friends (she lives a block away and she still invites him for some coffee from time to time) and she has a boyfriend but I just find it weird that she's telling him that. Yea, her grandma liked him, but they never spoke after the breakup since he almost never saw her. She's also a really career driven woman, that takes no shit (and it's super admirable) and she's not exactly the emotional type, which I guess is one of the few bits that confuse me here.
No, I don't think she'll try anything (obviously) and I'm being as nice as possible, but what does he have to do with all of this? She has a partner, it's his job to consult her and help her, not my boyfriends wtf
Ahhh, I'm free… I finally said goodbye to someone who was overall a very negative influence in my life. I did it over the phone/text msg because we live way too far to do that face to face at the moment. Maybe I wouldn't have been able to do that in person, I suppose. I feel slightly bad that I did it in such a bad timing for them but eh.
I didn't really want their energy in my life anymore because I'm trying to develop a better and healthier mindset. The first time I tried to leave the friendship/quasi relationship was super awkward because they guilt tripped so fucking bad. They guilt tripped me a lot tbh. And I was too much of a pussy to do something drastic and just gfto on my own because I didn't want to ~hurt~ their feelings. Which is hilarious because this sly person liked to hurt me on purpose when they were in a bad mood.
But i didn't want to ghost them.
So yeah. I'm proud of myself for finally taking action and ending this thing. I hope this person lives a long happy life and wish them the best, but it was time to end things. Still, all this situation shows me that I need to grow a bigger pair right away. I need to stand up for myself in a more effective way. I gotta change.
I wish the whole non-binary thing would just fucking die so cisgender and trans people can just go back to chilling out without wondering why ~Melody Kai Moonbeam~ isn't buying a damn lace front to step their pussy up. Shit.
what in the fuck does that last part mean lmao
nah i know what you mean, I've noticed it's been falling out of style though FINALLY
Hey anon, my perfectionism ended up making me really badly depressed to the point of almost being hospitalised for my safety.
What helped for me was starting therapy (which, well, took like half a year until I started seeing some improvement) and also working with a book called Overcoming Low Self-Esteem by Melanie Fennell.
I think if anything you could just look at the book a bit, browse it a bit, but I'm pretty certain you'd find some relief in there.
Life is strange spoilers, sort of, ahead and my salty bi-ass-tumblry-vent.
I watched the new LiS episode and then made the mistake to go to tumblr and search the tags for gifs. I honestly hate that everyone's calling Chloe gay, not because she is (hell there's an option to confess you want to be more than friends with Rachel) but because she might be bi? Yes my bisexual ass is salty. Not everything has to be JUST gay or JUST straight. Even when there is a character in a game that would date both genders? Well duh they're obviously pan, bisexuals don't exist. I'm so tired of this.
Game wise, yea, it could be debated, I guess, but I'm happy that they're not just straight.
Eh, paying attention to tumblr's opinion is like paying attention to a crying baby that it's shitting it's diaper and continues screaming wether you change it or not, you will achieve nothing other than a pile of stinking shit and a lot of screaming until it decides to calm down. So i wouldn't bother with them.
I mean, they called you a nazi if you picked Warren in OG LiS, eventhough he was a better match emotionally for Max than Chloe, imo. But nooo, obviously if you pick Warren you made Max "straight" (yeah, that's how bisexuality works apparently according to these people kek) and made the game "boring" and "dismissive of lg(b)t", because making choices in a game about choices is apparently a really bad thing.
As a bi girl myself, i remember i was kind of really salty when the original LiS came out and the same opinions were thrown around.
For example, in the original you were able to go for either Chloe or Warren or no one. But everyone was saying this was a lesbian game and Max was obviously a lesbian and so was Chloe. When given the actual facts of Max very much being interested in both genders regardless of what you pursue (by reading her diary, which i guess it's too much to ask for the tumblr kool-aid crew) since she shows interest in Kate and the Skateboard dudes in multiple writings, they dismiss it because wah wah lesbians have no representation.
Also Chloe had boyfriends before and in the current game he shows us one of these boys, which she seems to like/tolerate.
If your headcanon is that they are lesbian, cool, fantastic, kep at it, but don't try to make that into a reality. Bisexual people deserve to be in media too. It's not like they don't have a new lesbian character that seems very good and non tropey in the new IP.
For how much they like progressiveness they sure like to fall back into the old saying of bisexuals changing sexuality depending of which gender they are currently in love with/dating and only pretending to be bisexuals the rest of the time kek.Also, i finished the first episode yesterday. But i don't know if i am the only one holding the opinion that the relationship between Chloe and Rachel seems severely forced and rushed. Checked reviews, reddit and everything and everyone is praising it. But i couldn't possibly see how Chloe could fall in love with Rachel (if you picked the pursue love, like i did)
in that time frame and Rachel fall in love with Chloe. They apparently had no contact prior to this, so them thinking they are soulmates after sharing a few thing about themselves seemed really rushed and unnatural. I understand the concept of love at first sight, but if that was what they trying to portray i do not think they did a good job, it came off far less organic than say, Max-Chloe, or fuck, even Chloe-that girl you play DnD with (favorite part of the episode, it was so interesting). Alas, these are 15 year old people so maybe i'm seeing it from too much of an adult standpoint lol
I feel the same way about the LiS situation, and I am also bi myself.
Dealing with this irl also sucks. My friends know that I can be interested in males and that I am interested in females. This one friend of mine tho (he's pretty stubborn and uneducated about social issues reguarding sexuality and race) told one of my close friends that he thought I was 100% lesbian. When my close friend corrected him and said that that's not true, and I have had male crushes before, he was shocked. This pissed me off a lot because I hate how people think that things can only be black or white. Especially because I have told him which guys I have viewed as attractive before… and we had a full conversation about it.
Seeing people I get along well hanging out together after they didn't even invite me is so frustrating. And I keep falling down in a "they're fucking idiots anyway, they should be inviting me because I'm so much better than them" mindset which makes it even worse.
So I just have to remind myself that hey, they probably get along together very well and maybe I'm not as close to them than they are to each other. Plus some of those people I just don't even get along with, might as well not force it.
But it's fucking hard, I wish everybody liked me and always invited me everywhere, even if I don't like them that much. I feel like a teenager.
I spent the Summer with people I adore hanging out every night and now it's just rainy and lonely here. I hate it.
It might be good to invite them places yourself. Don't expect everyone to know how you feel. I usually prioritize inviting people that invite me places, a lot of people do subconsciously. They probably like you a lot, or at the very worst find you unremarkable. Just ask if anyone wants to see a movie or something. Put the shitty thoughts you're having aside, no one dislikes you as much as you think they do. It's not intentional that they're leaving you out, it's probably more out of convenience/you not being on their radar.
My phone died on me whilst I was out and I came back to missed calls and a bunch texts from my friend saying she has news she needs to tell me asap. I called her back but no answer (she's probs just asleep, I came back really late). I hope everything is ok
I saw a picture on lolcow of someone who has a similar body type to myself. It was met with loads of girls saying that she's fat/ugly. I don't really blame them because she does look unattractive at her weight and anyway, I know what I'm in for when I browse the site. But it really hurt and I can't stop thinking about it. I guess I'm not angry at them but moreso angry at myself because I'm trying so hard to change it and nothing is working. I feel like such a failure because what works for others isn't working for me. I always imagine what slender, good-looking girls think of me when they see me in public and those posts just kind of solidified what I thought. Fml.
Lolcow is full of anachans with a fucked up perception of how anyones body should look. You really shouldn't care about their opinions.
Also, the slender, good looking girls on the street probably don't even notice or care about how you look. Most people don't pay attention to the appearance of strangers unless they think someone is extremely good looking or hideously disfigured.
The worst part is they've moved here too.
Why are you taking nitpickers and ana-chans on lolcow (or any website) seriously, have some self respect lol They proved once and again that unless you are photoshopped azn animu waifu level of skinny you are a fatass, so their opinion is not a good one to go by.
People on the street most likely don't give a shit how other people look (i know i don't) unless they are supermodel-tier or a walking abomination, and even then most people forget about them the minute they leave their field of view.
Most people in real life will not take a second look at a chubby person (if you are even chubby, you might be a normal weight and have warped standards), and even if they did they would not comment on it because nobody cares, those who do and proceed to make fun of them for it are most likely highly insecure people themselves with problems to work on if their life is so miserable that they make fun of people for having a different body type, so i don't know why you would take opinions like that to heart.
> I always imagine what slender, good-looking girls think of me when they see me in public and those posts just kind of solidified what I thought.
Yeah, i am sure a small bunch of nitpickers on the a gossip website full of toxic people with warped beauty standards that most likely project their own insecurities onto people on the internet are certainly a standard for what normal every-day pretty girls think.
>I'm trying so hard to change it and nothing is working.
Constant exercise, good diet and calorie counting works for everyone, come on now.
Yeah while I do agree that a lot of people there have a warped view of beauty, it's indisputable that myself and this person are overweight. Her boobs were saggy and her stomach was full of rolls (all of which people noticed and pointed out) and it just looked exactly like me when I'm naked. It's not like this was a bunch of ana-chans complaining about someone who is a perfectly healthy weight (because I do hate it when they do that and anyway, ana-chans are always called out for their behaviour). Their comments were just kind of like things I tell myself on a daily basis, except it was like seeing them irl. This didn't trigger these thoughts, I've been struggling with this for years now.>>1812
I can assure you that I'm not an ana-chan, if that's what you mean.>>1814
I'm not even going to respond to that.
Look, I didn't want this to become a discussion about lolcow or else my post would have looked a lot different and idk how it became about lolcow even, I just mentioned it because that's where my feelings came from. It could have been facebook or instagram, it doesn't really matter. It's just that the image made me face the fact that that's what I look like and if I were to take a nude photo of myself, it would look like that. I've avoided being in photos for years so I guess it felt like seeing a photo of myself that was leaked or something. I'd really like it if people just forget that I said lolcow and imagine I was talking about fb or something. I came here because I was feeling really shit, if I wanted to complain about lolcow there's a thread for that elsewhere.
No one turned it into a discussion about lolcow at all, though?
Most people here, including me, are saying that thinking that the opinion of people on a website, be it lolcow or not, that has tendency towards nitpicking and pro-anorexia is not good for you and you shouldn't do that because a great percentage of people in real life don't really care that much and the internet can warp your mind about "perfection" or whatnot, be it lolcow, instagram, youtube, whatever.
If you are overweight and dislike that, you can eventually change it, but even once you do you will not meet certain standards that the internet upholds as realistic when they are not, so obsessing with those opinions will be, in the end, very toxic for your mind. I say this myself as a person that lost a lot of weight, became fit, and still felt disgusting for a while because i didn't look like an instagram model, a k-pop idol or whatever.
However, if you disagree with this, it's alright, but most people here were trying to help you realize that most people in real life most likely don't hold the opinions of an anonymous (or otherwise) site on the internet and will not think about your physique if you cross them on the street.
I did a big ranty addition to someones post on tumblr about something I felt passionate about and then 10 minutes later was inundated with heaps of reblogs making fun of me for it. I know it's tumblr and I shouldn't give a shit but then I went back and read my post and it came across as really angry and like, super defensive like I'd been ~holding in all this desire to rant about this~ and that's just not how I meant it.
I deleted it because in addition to the critical reblogs I started getting "lol what's your problem" anons and my blog is so unknown I've never had any anons before. Ugh, this kind of shit affects me so much and makes me feel like a baby for getting upset. I'm an anxious person and the main thing that triggers my anxiety is criticism and big groups of people acting like I'm an idiot or spazzing out. I guess that's years of being brutally bullied in high school- but I'm in my 20s and it's embarrassing to still loose my spaghetti over it.
It makes me just want to act like nothing fazes me and I'm too cool for drama and shit but I feel like that's kind of a cowardly and dull life. I want to be able to say how I feel about things without worrying that people are going to pounce on me for being over-emotional or not explaining myself well. ughhhhhhhh
It wasn't nitpicking though. This person was genuinely overweight and so am I. I'm not anorexic (I'm 175lbs…) and the things people were pointing out about her were true. Nobody like ana-chans or farmers have warped my image of myself or my thoughts. It was just another event in my life that made me self conscious (before that it was a friend's wedding and before that it was being on holidays and having to wear a swimsuit…). This wasn't how I intended the conversation to go. I'm sorry, I really shouldn't have specified the website because people had a preconcieved idea of what the situation was.
Tumblr is cancerous, you shouldn't even be using it. I used it to post art and fanfiction on it years ago and I was spammed by edgy sjw teens who had a problem with literally everything I did. Seriously, it's the most hateful and aggressive website I've ever been on. Staying on it too long forces you to lose your identity. Love yourself and leave.
I know you're right, I just don't have many places to post art where people see it- not that it gets seen on tumblr very much. I really wish deviantart (with all its problems) hadn't been abandoned so there'd at least be one big creativity-based site left.
I'm sorry you went through that, anon. There's nothing more aggravating than being swamped by tumblr's bullshit, is there?
No and tbh it's not worth the stress. My art didn't even get that much attention on Tumblr anyway. They have a very specific taste and if something doesn't meet their criteria you either have to adapt and lose the features of your art that make it unique or post it anyway and risk popularity. Agh it was horrible. I miss DA too.
I'm constantly mentally ruminating upon and dreading any upcoming confrontations with my agoraphobia/social anxiety, but it feels like I don't have it anymore. Rather, its the ghost of it, remembering how it feels, that haunts me.
I went out (sans pants) twice, greeted the neighbors, and the sweet old mailman and I arrived simultaneously, so we awkwardly smalltalked while he rummaged through the envelopes. I did the same with family and friends, but I wasn't even slightly afraid to be awkward and silly, and not wear any makeup or baggy clothes.
As a tumblr veteran who's watched it reach its highest apex and lowest point over the past 8 years, at a certain age, there is a way to use tumblr, and a way NOT to. If you're over 20, you use it as a silent collection of your tastes, and to share pictures with friends; like a deconstructed pinterest. You should tend to keep your following over 21.
As a teen, you use it the same, but also more like twitter, with commentary, actual blogging, and "networking". As an adult, it isn't going to function the same, unless you have thousands of teens following you for an immature posting style and promos, which is obviously a bit weird.
Unless you do lots of "fandom" edits/designs/arts/shipping stuff, the best place for an online visual arts community at this time is by far instagram. In my experience, with strategic tagging, you will get much more exposure, followers, and interactions for your works. With tumblr, you may have privacy from family/coworkers/friends, but its really hard to get your work spread around. Even some irl popular professional solo exhibition artists of GREAT skill who I follow struggle to get over 200 tumblr notes, but get over 6k likes (minimally) on ig. Putting stuff on tumblr is a big waste of time.
Ah ha… so instagram, eh?
I guess I was spooked away from it because it wasn't like any of the pre-2010 sites. I kind of don't get how it works yet and I'm scared to touch anything, I went on once and accidentally liked some rando's photo and felt like an old lady who couldn't use the internet.
You're right, I find it really creepy when people in their 30s are chatting with kids on tumblr like they're peers, and I'm not way younger so I've definitely been using it wrong. I've been on there for so long and kept the same shitty mutuals (who haven't grown up) so I guess I just went with the flow. I actually purged my follow list yesterday and it feels much better just having relevant blogs- aesthetic or information-based appear.
Thanks so much for the advice. I'll try instagram again.
Stupid and petty but I don't get girls who pull up their yoga pants up to their belly button (pic related, but with leggings/yoga pants whatever they're called, take a front pic and then brag about their flat belly? Like…you can't even see it, what's the point?
Not that I care but I've been seeing it a lot lately and I don't get it. Some pudge on the lower part is normal for women, but why hide the whole thing and the brag? lmao
>>1931 as someone who does this, I can confirm it's to deny the world of the reality of my pooch. I have started working out though. But yeah I see why you're annoyed anon.
I hate the fact that when I look in the mirror at home I look avarage, but when I go to the gym I look like a sack of lard. Doesn't help that for the classes I am taking, I have to wear shorts and a sports top.
So is it better for it to be wrinkly near the hips because it doesn't fit? If you're short and/or have a longer torso than legs, you would pull it up regardless so it fits correctly, whether or not you have pudge there. I find it incredibly weird to assume most people wear clothes like that to avoid pudge. It was a normal/common fit during the 80s/90s and I feel like at least in the US over the years that we gravitate towards low rise jeans to the point where I see high rise jeans really being mid rise.
If you're overweight it will show anyway. As far as I know, a lot of plus sized people wear high rise jeans because if they wear low rise, they risk more wardrobe malfunctions.
Yeah, I know you were talking about leggings, but it gets on my nerves when people act like low rise is the standard rise of pants.
Ironically, I actually like high waisted jeans because they give me hips.
I…think you missed my point?
I meant when people do it, but want to show off their flat belly, not when people wear it like that regularly.
> I find it incredibly weird to assume most people wear clothes like that to avoid pudge
Nor did I assume anything
Nearly all of my pants are high waisted or mid rise and I do it mainly for two reasons>Makes me look like I have hips>Makes my stomach look flatter
I just feel ugly in low rise, looks good on some people but definitely not me.
I never brag about having a flat stomach because of it though and I've never heard of anyone else who wears high waisted stuff and says the same. I honestly just really like the look over all whether it makes me look better or not.
Its not scary, its a lot more welcoming and kind and straightforward than tumblr is. Just post often. Not TOO much but twice daily is great. Like and follow, and you will be liked/followed back. The algorithm will find your community for you. Tag for stuff relevant to the arts "#design #sketch #digitalart #painting" and also relevant to non artists "#fashion #makeup #ootd". Don't follow anyone who you don't actually like.
A close friend of mine who ghosted on me after moving across the country to move in with her crush just announced that she's getting engaged.
Part of me realizes I'm almost definitely not going to be invited to the wedding, which makes me really sad. Even though it's been so long since we last talked, I still cared a lot about her and if she invited me after all this time I'd definitely make a point to go.
On the other hand I'm really worried about her. I feel like she only moved a year or two ago, and they only started dating a little after she moved in. She'd been in a really bad relationship before and for the first time I'm worried about whether she cut me out because she didn't like me (which is what I've assumed all this time) or if it's more insidious than that? I mean, every indication from FB and stuff and the few weeks she was still speaking to me after she moved was that everything is amazing for the first time in her life and I was really happy for her for it, but like…idk, what if she cut me out because she didn't want/wasn't allowed someone to confide in that it's not all right?
I know ultimately I'm not in her life anymore, and there's not much I can do either way, I just worry.
I wonder if I reached out, if she'd start talking to me again and I can't tell if that's unnecessary wishful thinking or not.
Congratulating her on her engagement seems like the best opener you're going to get, so I'd give it a try. The worst case is more of the same.
I found a small lump on one side of my neck today and now I'm terrified it's something bad. Like sick to my stomach scared. I know it's probably nothing and I'm going to wait a week before making any sort of doctors appointment in case it goes away. On top of that, my mum has to go 'It's probably not anything serious' Which just made my anxiety about a million times worse.
Definitely go get it checked out, but it probably is just a swollen lymph node. Have you been sck recently?
i ordered a dress from this ig brand almost a month ago, but they haven't replied to any of my emails or messages. the site states they ship within 5-10 business days of payment. its kinda disheartening considering they post and update their stories everyday. i'm wondering if there's been an issue and they're just waiting to reply to all their customers at once, but that still seems like poor customer service? idk
anyone know what to do in this situation? in all my years of online shopping, I've never been ignored like this. i know i should probably just keep messaging them, but i hate to sound like a pest. its bumming me out that this bothers me more than it should, and its not like this dress was cheap either (over $300)
i have a small crush on my boyfriend's best friend. i haven't thought about him since we got into a heated argument like two months ago in the summer. i had sent him a funny snap of my bf after that and he didn't respond so i felt things just got weird between us. buuut i smoked weed this weekend and he just popped into my mind and now i can't stop. he's really cute and chill and i've lowkey always wanted his approval, but i never thought about dating him. i've only entertained the thought recently, but we would really not work out and plus i love and adore my boyfriend too much. just waiting on these irrational feelings to die.
Jesus fucking christ girl, get a grip. Post public on their ig and ask what the fuck is going on, attach a picture of your order receipt. Shame them into replying. Spam it.
If they don't reply, file a claim to consumer protection, or whatever it is in your country.
This is super pathetic, yet I cried yesterday solely because I am so ugly and I generally hate myself.
There are entries in my journal solely regarding my disgusting appearance. I feel you, anon.
Damn anons. Wish I could offer you guys a drink, especially if you're still feeling that way, because whenever I get into a self-loathing slump all I want to do is get drunk lol. Don't feel pathetic about it though, it's normal to feel insecure from time to time and cry. Just don't let it eat at you too much and do some things that make you feel better about yourself. Look into doing some self-improvement, fix yourself a good warm meal, and do something you enjoy. You'll feel better in no time.
I'm glad places like this exist because I feel less alone here. I wish we could drink together.
I hope we'll all stop feeling like shit eventually but in the mean time, cheers! We'll all make it one way or another.
>bought and built new desktop
>finally win10 arrived today
>install new OS
>now just need to connect to internet to update everything and download resources for this new course in 4 days
>search for Ethernet cable to connect to router
>find out mother threw it because she thought it was broken
>asked her why she didnt just ask me
>"because you told me to chuck things out!" (She's a hoarder)
>angrily tell her I meant her stuff and I would throw out my stuff myself
>she gets pissed off that i have suggested this
>find out the things i have been missing lately are things she's been chucking out
>hasn't even been chucking her own stuff
>mrw I realise she has been chucking my stuff out without my knowledge because she didn't want to get rid of her hoarding problem and i don't even have an Ethernet cable for this >1k desktop
Jesus, that's a violation of your personal boundaries. Even if you're living under her roof she has no right to throw out your property. A mother throwing out her child's possessions is her way of exerting control over you and the house. She's probably doing this as a reaction to you trying to set boundaries (eg. "I don't like it when you hoard things", "can you try to throw some of it out). I doubt she's so stupid, she knows what you meant. It seems like she's being passive aggressive because she's angry that you criticized her.
I hope she's seeing a therapist because that's some fucked up behavior.
I have a fat crush on someone with a lolcow thread. We've been growing closer. Pleasestopme
NTAYRT but what made you skip to that conclusion just because female and cow? Honestly wondering
I don't know, Anisa just recently made a friend that she seems to be getting closer with and, out of the cows, I think she's one of the most approachable. I guess my second guess would probably be Pixie.
I don't think any of the costhots are redeemable enough, maaaybe Vamp even though she's ugly as sin (but love is love, I guess). Holly is detestable. Kiki is crazy.
I can't think of anyone else, really lol What would be your guess, anon?
Also, samefagging to add: Luna is too fucking grimey, if that's anon's crush, I'm gonna shame them to hell and back.
Lainey is like a wet paper napkin. Maybe if they were really really close and she opened up to anon to the point of showing actual personality, but then again, why getting involved with the Onions? That's always a shitstorm waiting to happen.
Our glorious tranboi Queen PT is also kinda unnaproachable imho.
These are the bigger cows, of course, maybe it's a smaller one. My main bets are Anisa or Pixie.
If you are Cecily, anon, congrats, you're very cute.Of course, if she's even speaking the truth to begin with
I don't want to say names. It's neither of the mentioned girls though.
im taking a design course at school to finally finish off my jr degree, but the professor is insufferable. 2 points on rate my professors. the syllabus is like "you can only have 4 email questions over the entire 18 week class", and "for every 2 absences your letter grade is lowered". we have to buy about $400 of supplies we'll use maybe once, or could borrow from the group. the projects are pretty informational, but so impractically useless for a portfolio. I accidentally walked into the wrong classroom, interrupted the instructor warming helping some teens learn sharpening pencils with an xacto knife. i knew immediately that he couldntve possibly written the syllabus. he was so incredibly warm, kinda chubby, wore a soft flannel, curly brown hair, generally sensitive look and voice, and was overly sweet in stepping out to take me into the proper class.
in hilariously sharp contrast, he had the most punchable, grimey look. 45, hasnt exercised in a month, spiky grey hair, leather skin, extremely tight black shirt and slacks, short, hates his life/job, really resentful of the fact that he's been in adjunct positions between 3 community colleges, 20 hours a day for a 45k salary, 20 years, no tenure or faculty at any school. one of those sad "stuck" people who think being a condescending asshole is an actual personality. snidely chastised me weirdly through his teeth with his eyes all the way at the corners (?) because i was absolutely unable to make it on the first class. i acted out of professionalism to firmly shake his hand, introduce myself, and defer. "thank you for accommodating me despite the circumstance professor, it wont happen again". he turned his face directly into the plain wall. "yeah well uh…. go find a seat", i guess embarrassed by how immature he sounded.
the lecture wasn't boring, but he took any possible opening to call us all "stupid millennials", and even openly laughed at and referred to one groups' project as unprepared ironic garbage (though all the artists he knows of are contemporary/readymades. go figure). the assignment "draw squiggly lines with depth" was so badly explained and demonstrated that no one had any clue what we were doing. he knows very well how asinine and boring it is, and my group was totally perplexed. and the lab was FREEZING for someone thin as me. i know the art dept. needs to stay chilled, but by the 4th hour, my hands were completely blue, numb, and unable to move or flex. theyre STILL tingling. i couldnt stop shivering. i wanted to go out to warm up, get my boney butt off those solid cold chairs, but the time it would take would be marked as an absence.
so, my sketches were total failures. but if you dont work for 2 hours, its counted as an absence. violently shaking, sniffling, pen falling out of my icey hands, but whatever the hell i could do, i worked. he came to my table, screamed "NO. THAT IS FLAT. you're just doing this shape. you need to stop designing and do it EXACTLY like ME at least ONCE!! go look at at board again!!!" and stomped over to his desk. i was honestly taken aback by the outburst. i did another page, after i got up to copy his example. he paused this time to just weirdly stare for about 2 minutes. "…….youre just doing the same pattern over and over you need to do THIS" and made that same shitty repetition of lines, again. i asked flat out, "do you know of ANY examples of artists who apply this method?" he looked embarrassed again and stammered, "well, uh, no…? I just made it up". we were given the week to draft the project and work on the "design books". class was dismissed. this is going to be a grueling 16 more weeks, but im gonna get my degree and transfer right the hell outta there, even to some 3rd rate state uni.
and i looked at his art; its absolutely awful. like a half step above outsider art. i know that i myself am a shitty artist, but i wouldn't try to be one as a career. for double my entire lifespan, hes just slapped together these muddy, ugly, portrait paintings on canvases and actually proudly exhibits them. and theyre gravely serious, with dramatic shit like a crying anime girl with bad kanji lettering, or two people standing head on with a statement above them.
That prof sounds like a piece of work. I'm glad it's "just" 16 weeks. Try to see it as an opportunity to get practice dealing with unfair feedback or unprofessional people?
he's the worst personality i've ever had to deal with academically, but he seems self aware enough to have realized the pissy childish arrogance isn't working, and someone like me will absolutely report his ass. i'd rather be doing more essays and stuff relevant to my field, but the work itself isn't really so arduous; i could get everything done in a week on my own.
and i've gotten enough of handling immature shitheads in the field, before i switched majors. constantly dealing with rude people was actually the reason i quit graphic design ages ago, and he's a great reminder to never go back haha. i'm bringing in a recording device from now on, to keep him in order.
I came in here to vent anonymously, don't get mad if I refuse to out myself ffs. What's the point if every reply only asks for a name?
Okay, you sounded sincere. It's just that I've seen a looot of posts on confessions/vent threads going like that, "I have a crush on this cow" that end up being trolls, so I am skeptical.
Well, good luck with your crush, anon.
Why the hell do people in online games take the games so seriously, they need to get over it.
I just wanna play a game, i do not need to read a 1250 page wiki before i play it so i know every little secret. I want to learn by playing, i want to discover the secrets by myself, not read them so i can do a dungeon in minimum time. I do not want to min/max, i just want to play it in a way that is fun to me. Who cares if i am not the perfect build it, if i am still good and am having fun, which is is what gaming should be for. Even if i am not that good, it's only a fucking game with fake internet points, what does it matter if you lose a bit of rank/a round/ whatever the fuck if we are having fun. Now fun only seems to apply online gaming if you are the best of the best at the game with a stick up your ass about "noobs" and how "they ruin the game" or "minmaxing", instead of adapting people into communities and letting them grow they alienate everyone that is not perfect or exactly like they want them to be, like "you picked a character class that they redeem not as good as theirs? uninstall the game you useless noob or pick a better class."
It seems you are not even allowed to have fun anymore, try to play a joke on an online game and you have a bunch of people whining at you because how dare you not take this videogame more seriously than your life. It's so annoying.
Playing games should not be a chore. I remember that way back when, even when i was a kid that barely had any skills i could play shit like tibia and other mmo's and the community would help one another a lot more and let people figure shit out by themselves instead of flaming everyone that is not up to their standards or perfect at the game the minute they create their fist char. People played online games to meet people, have fun and enjoy some time with randoms on the internet while going on quests, i really miss that atmosphere and still have yet to find a game that still maintains it.
These toxic people have ruined online gaming with randoms for me, which sucks because i do not have irl friends that play videogames online, so i either deal with those assholes or rip online gaming.
Maybe it's the nostalgia goggles speaking, but i really miss the online gaming communities from the early-mid 2000's.
this is exactly why I hate playing games with other people nowadays. It used to be so fun but I think because gaming gained a lot of popularity we now have a custerfuck of so many different people and ideas/personalities that online gaming isn't some sacred place for escapism but indeed a reflection of real life
. (I hope this makes sense).
People need to stop nit picking at shit that doesn't matter and let me smash things up with a 20ft long sword god damn it
Starting my first day of my second year of beauty college. I signed up to do the fast track massage and im really pumped but im REALLY NERVOUS
>65k step challenge
>dude keeps making 100k steps
>still somehow participates in the challenge every week
>those of us who make 60-70k steps are always last
Garmin fix your shit. Usually people who reach more than the challenge requires get placed in a higher group challenge but it looks like they stopped doing that. ffs
>Course was delayed until next week and I was only one not CC'd in the email
I've always been an independent and private person, I always hated it in high school when my friends called me all the time and always wanted to hang out (I was a fucking prick in retrospect) and it stayed that way until I met my first boyfriend at 21. He was and is the love of my life but for some reason falling in love with him made all this trauma from my childhood barf up out of me, like, I couldn't be closed off and selfishly introverted anymore if I was going to let someone in so suddenly it became apparent that being an ice queen was the only thing keeping me from falling apart.
I kept it together for university but 4 years later I've graduated and my mental health has declined rapidly. He has issues of his own but his independence hasn't suffered the way mine has. He went to bed early the other day and I suddenly realised I couldn't work the rice cooker. We do everything together, going to the shops, cooking, cleaning and when he goes somewhere without me I don't just feel lonely I feel abandoned. Of course I never tell him that because that's manipulative as all fuck but it hurts a lot and makes me feel so pathetic. If he went on a trip I don't think I'd even leave the house.
Honestly, his supportiveness has crippled me in a way. I know that if we were apart for a month or two I'd be forced to fend for myself and get a grip but he sees me suffer with my mental illness and can't let me do it alone. My trauma shit is pretty bad, I really scare him when I stop talking mid-sentence or start shaking or crying or yelling. I'm on loads of medication to control it but if I start getting distressed or frustrated it really triggers it hardcore.
I seriously don't know what to do. I feel so bad for him and so disgusted at myself.
My bf does that thing (not intentionally) where he gets int o a shitty mood a week or few days before I have a test. I actually failed a few test while I was still in high school because of that. I just end up feeling shitty and overwhelmed whenever he's down, it just has a big impact on me.
Now I have an upcoming test, which is REALLY important for my future and getting a job in my field, and well, he's starting to feel like crap again for no reason, or so he says.
I really don't blame him because he can't control it but uuugh, I hate how it happens every time before I have a test.
I've been searching up therapists and counsellors to help her because of this, thank you for helping me feel sane by reacting like this, I knew it didn't feel right but it begins to feel normal when you've been around it for so long!
I can hardly bare the loneliness anymore. All I want at this point is some sort of acknowledgment that I exist. Not a conversation or someone to talk to, because I always fuck it up, but a small sliver of attention from someone I care about would be enough. Something to let me know that I'm not forgotten and that someone's thinking about me.
i hate that i have no one to turn to when i feel like im dying when im having a panic attack. it feels terrible and scary and i need reassurance or company from someone to know that i'm going to be okay and that i'm not going to die but the only person i feel like i can talk to about this is never online at the right moment (i understand theyre busy and have a life and dont care that much about me) and i cant even begin to have my parents understand what a panic attack feels like or explain it to them so i cant get comfort from that without feeling like a fucking freak. they wouldnt treat it as seriously because they "can't see it".
i really wish i had more people i could trust and be there for me. its incredibly painful knowing that i am alone but having a panic attack and thinking about how alone i am makes everything feel so much scarier. my limbs go numb, hands get paralyzed, and i feel dizzy and like i'm going to vomit. i cant even fucking sleep when i have work tomorrow so i'm up just worrying and worrying about how i lost everyone and no one gives a damn about me all while feeling like i'm literally on the verge of death. life is suffering
I just can't believe people have relationships longer than a few months and end up marrying that person and having families.
I'm just so envious of that.