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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Relationship General #2 Anonymous 84469

Old thread reached bump limit: >>>/feels/68927
>?s about romance, love, potential partners, etc.
>experiences and wishes

Anonymous 84470

ok now HELP

Anonymous 84842

>>deranged manhate
Hating your oppressor is not deranged you stupid scrote.
>>the guys on the other side could see how they really should be a little nicer
Nice job downplaying the extreme misogyny, male supremacy, inceldom and general bigotry of 4chan lol. "A little nicer" yeah I guess they could start by not raping us maybe? Though that might be a bit too deranged and manhatey to ask! Moids have needs, after all!

Anonymous 84844


>>I really don't think most men are opressing women in general
Average retardedness expected from a 4chan scrote lol. Not even gonna waste time on you and that fake ass rational nice guy shit while you're denying women's oppression, just kys moid

Anonymous 84845

Off topic but Jodi was such a beauty. A part of me wishes she could have gotten away with her crime.

Anonymous 84847

She still is tbh!
>>A part of me wishes she could have gotten away with her crime
Definitely, that mormon fag asked for it the second he said he liked how she "moaned like a 12 year old girl". I still don't think the pedo accusations were real, but he was definitely a creep using a mentally ill woman like a fleshlight and thinking it would have no consequences.
It's funny how female victims can't leave their husbands because they're being physically and mentally abused, he's threatening to kill their kids and/or has control of all her funds yet that dumb scrote knew she was obsessive and still invited her to his house only because he wanted some pussy lol

Anonymous 85133

She also wasn't even in the wrong. That stupid cunt she dated cheated on her. All cheaters deserve that fate.

If I had the initiative I would do the same to my exes, but unlike Jody I'm a coward.

Anonymous 85380


My boyfriend wants to go on a trip in a month, I have time to prepare. He already got a room but I can't stand the idea of sharing a room with him and being 24/7 around him for such a short trip.

I'm getting my own hotel room at a different place, planning on doing some things he's not into due to the holiday. I'm afraid of telling him because of the fight and his anxiety it'll cause, how wrong is it to do so during the trip?

Anonymous 85381

Forgot to add it's a 50/50 relationship, so worried about his expectations for me to pay when he just got the room without really consulting with me.

Anonymous 85382

Jodi should honestly be freed, she has served enough time and it was a crime of passion, which she would be very unlikely to commit again, she’s even know for having excellent behaviour in prison. She suffered so much emotional and even physical abuse at the hands of that Mormon larping fuckwit who would refer to her as demeaning names like his 3 hole wonder and was obsessed with sodomy, he was a disgusting pedo cheating pig who deserved it.

Anonymous 85385


Jodi was a qt. She looked great with the platinum blonde hair, but it honestly made me so sad learning how she felt pressured to dye it because all of Travis’s friendship circle and community were very white and she felt excluded as the Latina of the group. Travis would also play his white female love interests off against her and made her feel like she would always be his spicy Latina Jezebel side chick, whereas the white Mormon girls from his church were the good girls, the pure ones, marriage material, despite TA being seriously impure himself. As someone who had a shitty white worshipping bf and also felt pressure to whitewash myself for him, it hit close to home. She honestly went through so much.

Anonymous 85407


How can I break up with my long term boyfriend who is suicidal. I'm not leaving him because he is suicidal but our relationship started when we were teens and now we are in our 20s and the relationship is just too toxic to continue. He has said and done some really demeaning things to me and I feel like we bring out the worst in each other but every time I've tried to break up with him it triggers a psychotic episode in him and he starts trying to kill himself. I'm really scared. I don't want him to die I just want us both to continue living but without each other.

Anonymous 85408

If he was really going to kill himself he would have done it by now. He’s full of shit.

Anonymous 85409

Maybe you are right, this is what I've been trying to tell myself, too. I'm just very afraid because the last breakup attempt ended up with him going to the hospital for a few days, and he does have guns. God I feel retarded but I'm seriously so scared.

Anonymous 85412

what demeaning shit did he do?

Anonymous 85414

Do it, rip the bandaid off and end it with him and block him on anything/everything you can. It'll make your life 10x better instead of staying with someone just for the sake of him staying alive. Tell him to get help and that you need to live your life outside of trying to keep him alive.

And nona, if he does end up ending his life there was nothing you truly could've done to help someone that is as sick as him. You will not be at fault at all.

>and he does have guns

Also, make sure to protect yourself against him, since he has a weapon, you never know what he'll do. Tell a friend or family, stay with them if you feel unsafe where you are since he most likely knows where you live and be ready to have a self defense and cops on speed dial.

I really wish you the best and I hope things go well for you, nona. Shits tough but theres nothing you can do about what he does, as long as you're living and okay.

Stay safe.

Anonymous 85415

Thank you for this… this is very rational and is helping to ground me right now. I think I might just take him out for dinner or something today and finally get it over with… I'm still scared but I think this is probably the best thing I can do for either of us.

A lot of things pretty typical for a porn addict (which he was a self admitted porn addict since he was 10…). He would often call me fat, complain about the size of my breasts, things like that, eventually he stopped though but I ended up developing an eating disorder which I'm still having trouble with these days. It feels wrong to blame that on him and naturally it was just one contributing factor out of many but this all started at a young age (16) and it just really got to me. Forgive me for being crude here but sexually he was very withholding unless it was anal or oral and he would like, look at porn on his phone while I was going down on him… Idk, it just really did a number on younger me's self esteem. He also would just get very frustrated with me if I wanted any sort of consolation or support from him with admittedly ended up with me lashing out at him which I really regret. That's what I meant by "bringing out the worst in each other", I always just feel sad and resentful when he's around which is unfair to us both… Idk he has some serious problems I resent him but I also feel so scared for him.

Sorry for the big paragraph, I guess I just wanted to vent a little…

Anonymous 85416


Oh and also, the guns belong to his father, but I believe he has access to them since I don't think his dad has a gun safe. I don't think he will get violent but now that you mention it I'm a little scared. I live with my family now so I think I will be safe but thank you, I will be careful…

Anonymous 85417

Meh seems reasonable to blame the ED on him - porn addicts have warped views on women, relationships, and others. They unlearn empathy. Also ugh, it's invariably the worst most boring sexual partners who are into anal/oral.

You should totally dump him. Tell him why (i.e. what you mentioned here) if he doesn't know already. Then ghost him. If he kills himself he probably deserves it (though he likely won't - I'm anxiously attached and often think I'm going to kill myself after getting dumped but in the end I don't).

Anonymous 85418

Oh wow nona, you really need to let this useless scrote of a moid go. I’m surprised you let this go on to your 20s, that being said don’t continue to waste your youth on him.

Anonymous 85423

I would say maybe try and get him some support other than just you so he isn't reliant solely on you. I don't mean just a psychiatrist but like friends for him and his family to look out for him. Tell them the situation. Also try and make sure he doesn't have access to easy suicide methods that will have a high chance of success. Convince him to sell his gun because you care about his safety. Also are you good being his friend still and do you think that he would want that or is he the type that cant stand seeing people who left him? If that's okay you can assure him you arent leaving him just changing the relationship. If not, another approach is just getting him bored of you by being boring and maybe a little gross but just dont be mean to him.

Most people who do die of suicide had failed attempts prior or self harmed prior. Also if he was just bullshitting to manipulate nona he would potentially be a dangerous threat especially since he has a gun so it's better to be gentle about a break up.

That sounds like the worst possible way of going about things. An abrupt breakoff like that causes severe reactions putting him into immediate panic. He will either desperately try and get her back, off himself right then and there, or if he was just a manipulator maybe try and kill her in a rage.

Anonymous 85507

Hi, small update. I did try to ease him into it by saying we should "take a break" and he seemed to handle it well but only because he doesn't seem to be taking me seriously… I'll have to be more firm with him about it I guess…

Anonymous 85511

kind of sad regarding my bf…
he used to want to call almost every night or at least a few times a week, he would often say he misses me and wants to see me again, he'd message me first thing after he woke up and say goodnight to me before going to bed, talked about our future like wanting to get married and always wanted to make plans to move in together, would randomly send cute messages and call me cute names/give me compliments etc and now he basically does none of that
we haven't called in weeks and when I asked why he said he's too depressed but didn't elaborate beyond that, he never wants to talk about future plans or moving in together, hasn't brought up seeing each other lately and normally we visit once a month, doesn't call me cute names anymore - I really can't tell if he is actually depressed and just withdrawn until he's feeling a bit better or if he doesn't care about me as much as he used to
I don't want to break up with him because I really love him and want to be with him so I really hope he feels the same and is just trying to get through his depression, I know he used to lurk/read posts on here sometimes before we started dating so I hope by some miracle he reads this and sees how important he is to me…

Anonymous 85518

sounds like he's losing sight of those things he used to talk about all the time is what got him depressed if you aren't moved in together with a family or making up plans

Anonymous 85525

>I can't stand the idea of sharing a room with him and being 24/7 around him
How will you handle life when you move in together and share a bedroom (or will you not?)? I'd definitely be hurt if I were him. You can do all the things he's "not into" while sharing the hotel room with him.
People who threaten suicide in relationships never follow through.
I don't tolerate "le depression" excuse when a moid is being emotionally neglectful in a relationship. Emotional neglect is a form of abuse. Not to mention, it's more likely he is losing interest in the relationship (whether he got "bored" or found someone else).
Have a SERIOUS talk with him and communicate exactly what you wrote in this post. If he doesn't express guilt/apologize/change his behaviors, you need to leave him.

Anonymous 85559

something's bugging me. i've been in ldr with one guy (with the hopes that he'll come here one day when he can). he's really nice and seems to care about me and often supports me and we have a lot in common. but he sometimes can do unpleasant things like him sometimes getting overly aggressive over nothing and trying to find hidden implications in my words to get angry about. he doesn't seem violent but it's still exhausting to deal with. he often gets very emotional and with me being quite emotional myself i'm sometimes not sure it's a good combination. but he's still often a really nice and sweet person and is often supportive despite him having plenty of irl troubles himself. tbh i don't wanna hurt him but he often gives me trouble and i'm sometimes not sure i can be happy together with him even if he comes here which is also something that may or may not happen.
lately a guy irl started hitting on me saying i would make a perfect gf for him and even pointed out that he likes taking care of others and says that if we do end up dating it would probably be similar to father-daughter relationships and he's cool with this. that sounds kinda appealing cuz i like being taken care of. he does nice little things like making phone calls for me when it's possible. this kind of contrasts with my e-bf who always tells me i should grow more independent. although with the irl guy we don't have much interests in common.
they both are supportive of me but in different way. e-bf gets quite emotional when it comes to supporting me and sometimes he gets stressed out and doesn't say much besides "well not like you have another alternative other than handling it" (which is totally fine, he's not my personal therapist). irl guy often listens to me vent calmly and often suggest things but he comes off a bit cold sometimes probably due to generally being not very emotional kind of person and generally seems to have a more stable life. also i think i might be asexual or just have a low sex drive and e-bf rarely says anything about sex which is nice unlike the irl guy who seems more interested in it.
tbh i like them both but i have to choose cuz i don't wanna be unfair to one guy or another but i really struggle with this choice. both seem to be good in different ways and with both i see some problems that could lead to something bad. i wish it was easier to just choose one and preferably not hurt the other one too much by doing this.

Anonymous 85568

You seem extremely young.
I have little to go off of besides your description, but it sounds like your LDR is insecure and your IRL is a predator looking for a dependent doll gf. I think if you're considering what sounds like a sugar daddy over your LDR then he probably has a good reason to be insecure.
Maybe a break is in order.

Anonymous 85571

>also i think i might be asexual or just have a low sex drive and e-bf rarely says anything about sex
Unrelated to the rest of your post but this also 100% describes me. I'm asexual in an LDR and I enjoy the lack of pressure to fuck but I think he just thinks I have a low sex drive and doesn't know the full extent.
The IRL guy doesn't sound that great. He probably just seems like a good option because it feels good to have someone care for you in person (reason why I've struggled with loneliness in my LDR). You can have a convo with the guy, tell him you have something to "break" to him and tell him you're ace, and he'll fuck off (if you want him to).

Anonymous 85572

>You seem extremely young.
yeah i am pretty young and both guys are older than me
>I have little to go off of besides your description, but it sounds like your LDR is insecure and your IRL is a predator looking for a dependent doll gf. I think if you're considering what sounds like a sugar daddy over your LDR then he probably has a good reason to be insecure.
it's not really me looking for a sugar daddy (irl guy isn't even rich) as much as me seeing someone with whom i can hypothetically have better emotional connection than with ldr with whom i sometimes have very hard time but who is still a really nice person when things go well. i am not sure he is insecure. it rather seems like he has some strong opinions and doesn't tolerate disagreeing with them much and can get very emotional over stuff like this and some times him getting aggressive over this hurt me a lot but he refused to acknowledge it as doing something wrong. i can live with this but i wonder if it won't lead to bigger arguments down the road.
>Maybe a break is in order.
maybe it would be a good idea but i'm not sure.
>I'm asexual in an LDR and I enjoy the lack of pressure to fuck but I think he just thinks I have a low sex drive and doesn't know the full extent.
yeah not worrying about men wanting to fuck you is pretty great and i am glad it works well for you as well
>The IRL guy doesn't sound that great. He probably just seems like a good option because it feels good to have someone care for you in person (reason why I've struggled with loneliness in my LDR). You can have a convo with the guy, tell him you have something to "break" to him and tell him you're ace, and he'll fuck off (if you want him to).
maybe you're right, thank you for the advice. he seems like a nice and sincere person who genuinely likes taking care of others and it might just be me describing him weirdly but just telling him i am an ace does sound like a good idea in order to try and break off amicably

Anonymous 85584

I like this boy, he’s really handsome and he seems sweet. Today I sent him a picture of my morning glories and told him how I like to press them. I got a little insecure and told him how it was kinda lame that I did. He told me it was cute. Idk if he meant it or if he’s even calling me cute. Is it even a good thing to be called cute.

Anonymous 85651

>he uses the word cute about women
Don’t trust him.

Anonymous 85696

Cute is always good unless said in a condescending or annoyed tone. Ignore that schizo poster.

Anonymous 85700

The head of a moid is either empty or filled with snakes. Give him a good hard look when he interacts with others: if he's manipulative he could be playing mindgames but if he's not then he said cute because he genuinely thinks it is cute.

Anonymous 85719

Why does he has to be depressed? I feel safe with him, I enjoy time with him so much, he treats me amazing, we connect so well and it has been like this for years. He's also so cute in every possible way. Fuck me. Really, why does he has to be depressed? He would be perfect for me if it wasn't for that. Every time I see him I want to kiss him, but I stop because I know it's an awful idea.
I wish he could fix his problems. I can't do much besides giving him support as a friend, but I wish he fixes his problems so much.
After all these years I still have hope and I feel like such a fool. At least he finally started going to therapy.

Anonymous 85720

No it’s not, it’s a sign he’s a pedo and views you as inferior and stupid.

Anonymous 85729

He’s younger than me so I doubt that
It’s like the second time he’s called me cute and I showed him something I wrote and he actually read it and gave me helpful tips. We haven’t hung out yet…. Which is a like concerning :/
Interacting with men is genuinely confusing.

Anonymous 85782

How to stop going into BPD rage over the smallest things?
I'm in the perfect high-value LDR relationship (but we have met several times IRL) right now, my boyfriend is everything I could ever have asked for in a man. Still, I get into these irrational rage episodes over the smallest things like him being a little too slow to answer something I said or not answering at all, him saying something and me reading a little too much into it, etc.
I can't control it when I'm in it, I'm aware that I'm being hurtful and irrational but I can't stop it which makes me even more stressed.
He says that it makes him sad when I do it even though he understands. So, how do I gain self-control in these moments to stop becoming aggressive with him? I don't want to sabotage this.

Anonymous 85814

You're projecting your own insecurities and problems.

Did you tell him you would like to hang out and you're open in time to do so?

Anonymous 85816

Look up cognitive distortions and analyze your behaviour through them.

Anonymous 85819

try the "borderline personality workbook" it has worked wonders for me. it's a nonjudgemental workbook that can help you work on behaviors, triggers, etc.

Anonymous 85827

Thank you, I will look up both of these things.

Anonymous 86421


Is 19 and 28 a weird age gap for dating/sex? I've been seeing this guy and I like him lots. He often picks me up and takes me wherever I want to go. Usually we ride for hours, go to a bar, or visit a playground at night. I have fun with him and we talk for hours.
Yesterday I made a move on him and he reciprocated, and we ended up having sex. His friend thinks I'm too young, and so do my friends.
I don't see what's weird about our relationship since we're both adults. How could be "taking advantage of me" if I like it?

Anonymous 86423

Anonymous 86427

Hope this is bait but if not, yikes anon I think you're being had. Like forget the age gap for a second, imagine someone who's almost 30 years old doing shit like "visit a playground at night" or "ride for hours" as a "date". That's stuff I used to do in high school when we were too broke to go do something interesting but also didn't have our own place to hang out.
I'd be worried about these cheapass teenage-tier dates. You're seeing him through the eyes of a 19 year old who does 19 year old things. To me his behavior is as if I were to see grown adults having mallrat dates sitting on the staircase outside hot topic lol.
My bf is 28 (our age gap is just 2 years though), and I can't imagine doing stuff like yours does. Like even when we don't feel like going out we can hang out at his place and cook together or watch a movie or something.
And the fact that he doesn't act his age and you're oblivious to it, is a red flag that the same thing might be happening in other aspects of your relationship, and maybe you wouldn't even notice because you don't really know what being 28 is supposed to be like. Yikes.

Anonymous 86444

Er, I pick the places we go to. I don't really like restaurants and stuff. I have no interest in having a "real" date.
He has his own money and own place, but both of those things are irrelevant to me. I hang out at his place and to me that's more fun than whatever "adult" date you're thinking of.

Anonymous 86445

Also, I don't want to date him, especially not long-term. I just like the sex.

Anonymous 86451

>I-I'm not like the other girls, I don't care about being treated appropriately, j-just the sex
But if you aren't even blinded by undying love and just want the sex then why aren't you enjoying the one and only perk of dating an oldie? (his money). Just sounds like a cope tbh. Even if you're choosing mallrat dates by yourself he should be at least trying to treat you better.
You brag about him "driving you wherever you want" but that is something boys do as young as 16, makes me believe you're having really low standards and are really seeing him through the distorted lens of a broke college student.
Come to think of it, if his group of friends doesn't even approve of you then how did it even come to a situation where he drives a much younger girl around for hours? How did you meet and how did he get close to you? It just seems weird.

Anonymous 86453

We get it, you're jealous of her for being young and enjoying her life, you can get over it now.

Anonymous 86464

1) I have a dad, I don't need to suck dick to get money
2) He has a massive dick and 10+ years of experience eating women out, of course I like him. He's young, has a lanky twink body and a head full of hair. I wouldn't fuck any balding, beer-bellied pedo.
3) Driving me around is not a brag, I was just describing what we do. Otherwise I just hang out at his house and play with his cat.
4) Why would he "try" to treat me better when I'm already content with what I'm being given. I don't want anything else from him, is it so hard to understand that not everyone wants the same? If I wanted a sugar daddy I'd get that.
4) I met him through mutual friends at a shoegaze gig. It's not like it's impossible for the two of us to ever cross ways. We have mutual interests and friends.

Anonymous 86467

She's fixated on the fact that I don't want a sugar daddy instead of talking about the age gap, which is what I originally asked. I don't need CC to shill me pimping myself out.

Anonymous 86480

But that's the thing, she isn't enjoying it at all, she's doing embarrassing broke college kid shit. I'm actually advising her to at least enjoy it properly. No woman his age would put up with this.
I love how you think that expecting a man to do the bare minimun for his age is suddenly "sugar daddying" or "pimping yourself out". Nona what I'm telling you is literally what a man his age should do by default. The bar is truly in hell lol.
And this is why age gaps are so easy to take advantage of, the younger side can't grasp the fact that an older person is in a different stage of life with different expectations and they think it's OK to give them the same slack you would give a kid.
>Why would he "try" to treat me better when I'm already content with what I'm being given.
Because he knows better, he knows what any relationship at his age is supposed to be like. If he's not even trying to treat you the way he knows he should, it just shows that he doesn't respect you much tbh.

Anonymous 86483

We're not in a relationship, we're fucking around. It's not forever, I just keep him around for sex/fun. Why are you so dense? I enjoy it and that's all that matters, don't tell me what I enjoy.
I don't care what women his age want, because I'm not a woman his age. What other people want got nothing to do with my personal relationships.
Is that clear enough?

Anonymous 86484

NTA but hardly anyone would be jealous of dating a sub-par old moid.

Anonymous 86491

You're the dense one. On top of sex you spend lots of time with him, you hang out both at his place and out in the streets, and you guys talk for hours on end. If you're already going to hang out anyway there's no reason for him to not try to provide a better time for you, instead of taking you to these mallrat dates, even if your aren't committed.
I agree that age gaps might not always be an issue if both parties are adults, but honestly you should expect the older part to treat you and regard you the same way they'd regard a person their own age. But if an older man stoops down to match the level and the expectations of a boy a decade younger, like in your case, that's a red flag.
You're free to do and enjoy whatever tf you want but idk why you ask what we think about it if you don't wanna hear it.

Anonymous 86642


i met a guy at group therapy and we exchanged discords. i really want to get to know him because he's kinda cute and shy.
i'm just afraid of being a dry texter. how do you talk to men you are interested in?

Anonymous 86643


Don't think about it so much, just talk about your interests. You don't need to perform for him/anyone.

Anonymous 86645


How do I connect sex and love? I struggle a lot, because I see sex as an "attack", like I'm just being used for someone else's benefit and it doesn't feel loving. My mum has always been VERY sex positive and I grew up in a non religious household. I love love though, I want a partner and I want to do all the romantic aspects.

I'm not asexual, I do very much feel sexual attraction but only in fantasy, I can't even watch porn because it feels wrong. I can getmyself off without guilt

Anonymous 86647


Recently I started to use dating apps and everyone are so uggo - it’s eastern europe, so I was born to suffer - they look like nothing, like a boiled rug, like mashed potatoes
I won’t call myself super pretty, but at least I compensate it taking care of myself, various styling, looking presentable ffs
I can’t find a decent looking guy for a hookup even

Anonymous 86648


i don't understand the situation

>leave him more times that I can count (mentally ill)

>come back
>treats me like nothing happened

He knows I will come back, he's not sad when I leave. I'm not pretty or even average. He's well off and attractive.

When will he get tired of my shit? I hate this

Anonymous 86649

I find 90% of Eastern European men attractive, even the potato ones. Pass them my way pls.

Anonymous 86650

it has been similar for me. what helped is my bf being very understanding and insisting i can refuse if i don't feel like it and he won't be hurt. this way i know i can just refuse to do something that makes me uncomfortable. also doing romantic stuff after doing sexual stuff also helps. talking with your partner about this directly might help as well. maybe you can come up with some solution that will suit you personally.

Anonymous 86652

This, be glad you don't live in a latino-american shithole like me where they all look like a caveman.

Anonymous 86660

I feel you. Male choice here is either old rag looking abusive overcompensating moids or underage zoomer chads
t. also from an eastern european country

Anonymous 86665

You need to tell us more about why you keep leaving him

Anonymous 86687

>leave him more times that I can count (mentally ill)
are you mentally ill or is he?

Anonymous 86752

What is it like dating in Eastern Europe and Latin America?

Anonymous 86753

I’ve heard that Latino men are extremely picky, slut shame like crazy, have really high standards despite being ugly and 4ft tall themselves and Latino countries also have the highest femicide rates so I’d say yeah they’re pretty bad.

Anonymous 86754

Aren't latinos very romantic and passionate and take care of their women?

Anonymous 86755

If by romantic and passionate you mean psychotically jealous and possessive, sure

Anonymous 86756

What nationality or "type" do y'all find most attractive?

Anonymous 86767

not the person you were originally arguing with, but when I got groomed, it felt like I was choosing to be with a guy 6 years my senior when I was 17-18 because I "wanted to." What I didn't realize at the time was that a 24 year old guy shouldn't have anything in common with teen girl. With your age difference, you both should be at different stages of life and development, which is what I think the other poster was trying to say before it got derailed. You asked if 19 and 28 was a weird age gap, and it is. He presumably has a job, has his own apartment, etc. Why does he not have not have women his own age in his life?

When I was being groomed, it was technically "my choice." I just thought I had enough fun talking to him that I might as well stick around for the time being, even though he was ugly and kinda pissed me off. Ultimately, I realized his personality and behavior was shitty and immature, and that someone in their mid twenties should be in a different place in life. Unfortunately, I didn't realize this early enough, and I regret it every day.

The other poster wasn't trying to criticize your standards and expectations (I think) but was pointing out that the dude has nearly a decade more of life experience than you and his interests and date/hang out activities probably ought to reflect that more.

If others in your life think it's weird, and you yourself even decided to ask for others' opinions, it's weird. Absolutely do not choose this guy over your friends, if it ever comes to that.

Anonymous 86772

KEK, no. like there's a lot about hispanic culture i love… the men are not one of them. men of any culture are irredeemable fags that offer basically nothing but the maschismo is horrible

Anonymous 86773

>What is it like dating in Eastern Europe
most men are raging misogynists (fueled by state propaganda of "traditional (patriarchal) values") with high standards for women, there's a saying that goes like "a man should be a little more beautiful than an ape" so they don't take care of themselves but still want a supermodel
if you're lesbian you have to hide it from everyone since there's a lot of homophobia both from the state and the civilians, but at least (from what i've seen) there are more (febfem or lesbian) terfs and radfems than libfems and trannies.

Anonymous 86791


my bf admitted to getting drunk our common friend who's a schizophrenic. problem is, he got naked in the process. he denied having sexual contact with our friend though. when i confronted him about that he said "it was fun and our friend is schizo so it doesn't matter to him anyway" yet it still bugs me since he's bi and had sexual contact with a male before me.
i said i wasn't ok with such behaviour and he promised to never do that again but still, he stripped himself naked in front of a guy while he never even did that with me and that's what i'm upset about. he regularly says he loves me but i don't know for sure.

Anonymous 86792

I dont see what the friend being schizophrenic has to do with your bf getting naked
what was the context of him taking his clothes off? Was he just changing for a sec or hopping out the shower, it seems highly suspicious if he didnt have a legit reason to take his clothes off

Anonymous 86793

>I dont see what the friend being schizophrenic has to do with your bf getting naked
my bf said him getting naked was completely ok because our friend is indifferent to everything (schizo symptom)
>what was the context of him taking his clothes off?
he just got vomit drunk and decided to do that because "it's fun" but i don't see what's fun in it, you're showing your body to someone who doesn't care at all. so yes i can't really see a reason to do that.

Anonymous 86797

You need to ask your schizo friend about what was happening. If there's a conflict in story, your boyfriend probably was trying to do sexual stuff with him. I was reading this as a changing room situation, however it doesn't sound like that at all. People when they're drunk don't do stuff like that for shits and giggles, it also sounds odd he's willing to do it in front of someone because they have a mental disorder but that's also not a thing for schizophrenia.

Anonymous 86803


>my bf said him getting naked was completely ok because our friend is indifferent to everything (schizo symptom)
That's some really bad judgement, who wants to see some naked butt without explicitly asking for it?

Anonymous 86809

I'm Swedish so Swedish guys.

Anonymous 86823

Other way around girly.

Anonymous 86830

this is pretty weird behavior on your bf's part. i really don't see why he'd get naked in front of someone who isn't you.

Anonymous 86859

I’m hispanic, dated a U.S. raised Hispanic guy, but I’ve observed family, friends, and strangers when I lived there too. They love women who hypersexualize themselves to the point of caricatures. They also expect you to baby them. They love showing off and are very materialistic.

I dated a Polish guy who was also U.S. raised and he was “benevolently” misogynistic. My man-hating rubbed off on him very easily though. He would even let me slap him so I could cool down whenever I was upset. He was incredibly down to earth which suits me better and staunchly anti-consumerism so it was a breath of fresh air and easy to overlook questionable opinions. Don’t know what the mainland ones are like but that was my one experience.

Anonymous 86862

>dating a ‘bi’ male
Please say sike

Anonymous 86863

I have an unrequited crush on a guy from my school for the past year. I’m completely obsessed with him and he occupies my thoughts literally every minute of the day. Two weeks ago I worked up the courage, went up and asked him if he wanted to hang out some time. He blew me off and made a lame excuse that was so obviously fake. I want to blow my brains out. He’s in every one of my classes too and occasionally he used to say hi to me and now there’s just complete silence between us.

Please tell me how to get over this. I want to stop trying to steal his hair strands to do magic with.

Anonymous 86865

to be fair 90% of what you like about him is probably just ideas in your head, especially with you fixating based off of barely anything. do you not have much else going on with your life? not trying to be mean. it's just I've never fantasized about real people before because it seems counterintuitive; the chances of my fantasies panning out would probably be one out of a million.

Anonymous 86869

I'm afraid of getting a boyfriend because of the embarrassing shit my mom will probably tell them about me. She does it with almost everyone. I'm scared she's going to ruin relationships for me despite constantly bugging me to get in one

Anonymous 86898

Their parents have embarrassing things to say about them too.

Anonymous 86904

Ur bf doesnt have to meet ur mom

Anonymous 86914

Beat her to it and tell him yourself, then she'll have nothing.

Anonymous 86931


I constantly get these phases where I'm convinced he hates me and is annoyed by me despite him obviously not. The amount of evidence against doesn't matter and I wanna remove myself from his presence because I can't shake the thoughts away. We go on a break and I become a recluse for months. I always think it's the last time when it happens, then it happens again, and again. I've lost track. I try ignore the thoughts as best as I can but I become bitter, snappy, slow if I do so, giving me more reason to believe the thoughts are true. I've asked him to not engage with me when I come back and basically cut me off and not let me back in his life because I know it must not be healthy for him but he won't. I've asked him to ignore me for at least a year but he doesn't budge. It's all up to me but I can't stop myself from wanting to reach out and get back together, plus I've become accustomed to him receiving me with open arms.

Anonymous 86933

I'm ugly. I came to accept my facial deformity, and the fact I would never find a boyfriend, early on in life. I knew I could still have sex, as moids are a degenerate breed, but I would be used as a pitiable sex toy and emotional crutch by them. I decided to live ascetically and be content with internet friendships. Then, suddenly and out of no where, I met a guy who could look past my appearance and was not only kind, but even flirty. The whole denying myself pleasures of the flesh so I couldn't be disappointed thing went out the window and we started dating. He's incredible. He loves me, treats me with respect, admires my mind, loves my sense of humour, wants to spend his time with me in quality ways and, while I find it hard to believe, says he finds me beautiful. He's perfectly comfortable claiming me as his partner to friends, family and strangers, and keeps pictures of me, which I find immensely endearing and mortifying. We began having sex and he actively sought my feedback to make it as pleasurable as possible for me, and went out of his way to ensure he could last as long as needed. He's perfect in so many ways and I want to be with him for the rest of my life. The problem is I think it's all been an act to get me pregnant.

I freely admit I can be paranoid about the motivations of others at times, but it seems an inescapable conclusion. We discussed family and children early on in the relationship, as it was important to us both. I wanted children desperately, but I'd written it off entirely, while he comes from a very large family and wanted to start one of his own. The hints started small and infrequent, but they began to build when he introduced me to his family and did things like ensured his cousins with newborns would be there to meet me. He'd raise the subject of ideal ages for having children through medical articles he would "coincidentally" come across, then a few minutes later ask me what I wanted to do for my birthday months away. He came to constantly mention the scarcity of time and how the chances for us to do certain things were running out year by year. I was baking and he left a book with a printed article on birth defects and the age of the mother open on top of my recipe book as he came to wash the dishes. His family would drop hints almost daily sometimes.

In the name of transparency, he is a geneticist. He has cause to look at these articles and for the topic of pregnancy to come up often, but that fact just makes me more suspicious. More than a few times I've heard him mention my height, hair and eye colour, pigmentation and even things like the lack of cancer, heart disease and addiction in my family as desirable genetic traits. He's never mentioned it to me, but to others he's expressed in the past the drive to ensure his children are as genetically healthy as possible. Combine with this the fact he's an avowed "New Eugenicist", though he doesn't use the term due to the stigma of negative and punitive eugenics programs, who debated in favour of the practice in university. All these factors combined, it seems fairly undeniable.

It's not impossible he both loves me and wants healthy children, but the fact we only met because he learned about me through friends at work and then approached me, colours our entire relationship and makes it seem as though he saw me for suitability as a breeding partner first, then pursued a relationship on that alone with the sole goal of having children and doing whatever it takes to get them.

Am I just crazy? Is this how men think? I desperately do not want to believe it and refuse to confront him because these are all just suspicions, while he's real, in my life and wants to start a family with me, where almost no other man would. What should I do?

Anonymous 86942


idk, I get the feeling that what you have seen is simply the tip of the iceberg.

Unfortunately the lesser known side about men that isn't really talked about is that this stuff can be addicting, but rarely sustainable. A lot of girls and women get hung up on early efforts by men that basically drop the ball when they feel as if they have completely monopolized her.

Like, what do you think would happen if:
a) you couldn't get pregnant
b) the child had a disability or lacked the coloring he fetishized in you (the fact he fixates on it goes to show it's really mostly not about having healthy children); do you think he could be racist as well?
c) he experienced significant drawbacks in his goal; does he stop caring about you?

The problem with C is that stressful times can expose soooooo much about a person, but it's hard to see early on. Maybe he's just one of those mega "autists" that want something, do it, then actually follow through with it, but this is extremely unlikely. A lot of such types tend to ignore a lot of things related to having and caring for a child and tend to fixate on immediate superficial factors and theoretical viability while ignoring how much it matters to be a good parent. It's because they hyperfixated on the easily quantifiable parts of having a child, but not the more nebulous, dyadic ones. Go look at a lot of men that supposedly believe in the traditional family…a lot of them are just textbook degenerates whose idea of it is disconnected from their actual nature.

And no I don't really think you're crazy, and I feel bad that the uncertainty you feel is natural.

Anonymous 86960

This sounds really odd. You think you have a deformity, yet your geneticist bf wants a kid with you, and he’s into specific, ideal outcomes? What?

Anonymous 87045

It's not an inheritable disorder
We've talked about this and we both want children. If one of us couldn't have children under any circumstance, we'd break up. However he did specialise in fertility applications, so just about every what if we've discussed, he has a solution for. We've also both agreed on terminating pregnancies with serious genetic disease or congenital disorders.

He's practically raised a number of his extended family from birth, so I'm confident he knows exactly what he's getting into, but you're right that we've only known each other for a little over a year and while we've been through some tough situations, maybe he and out relationship haven't been out to the test to expose serious flaws.

Anonymous 87047

you sound retarded

Anonymous 87091


Anonymous 87154

based BPD poster

Anonymous 87157


>sending a kind of a risky picture
>replying with a picture of my crying cause I had a break down because I can’t find my cat
>I’m an absolute basket case

Anonymous 87228

Leave him and find someone better.

Anonymous 87231

>KEK, no. like there's a lot about hispanic culture i love… the men are not one of them

What are the downsides of dating hispanic men?

Anonymous 87247

Your image makes me cringe because I remember when I was younger using my mental illness in a pickme way around guys like ‘oh you’re never gonna find a girl as crazy and possessive as me’ because I thought it would turn guys on and would make them remember me. Truth is there’s actually millions of bpd-chan girls who act this exact same way and it’s a very generic, trite and common way for girls to act especially nowadays. So many of us are desperate to stand out and be edgy and noticed ‘I’ll tell him he’ll never find a girl who loves him as intensely as I do’ etc because we know deep down it turns on a lot of guys who are desperate for validation. In hindsight I realize it comes across desperate and tryhard as fuck and I seriously regret giving these loser moids my time and energy. The more you try to freak a moid out with your craziness uwu, the more retarded and pathetic it really comes across. And it doesn’t even work, at least not in terms of keeping a high value moid. Never again.

Anonymous 87269

Hot girl shit is concealing your craziness until he deserves to feel it in full force so he doesn't see it coming.

Anonymous 87270

>hot girl shit
Go back to twitter please and stop using your mental illness as a substitute for actually developing an interesting character.

Anonymous 87277

Not a twitterfag you projecting tard. You should go back though.

Anonymous 87284

Nobody cares what you deem hot girl shit, cringe. Go back

Anonymous 87318

You can leave if you're so triggered by the mention of beauty. You're probably some malding tranny mad cause everyone finds you ugly, kek.

Anonymous 87321

Hot girl shit is so cringe and sounds like something a troon would say

Anonymous 87322

Get over yourself. You're not the cc language police.

Anonymous 87324


>you’re not the cc language police
That’s where you’re wrong. Hands up.

Anonymous 87327



Anonymous 87463


I decided I needed to gauge his reaction and told a little white lie that my period was late. He seemed a little flustered, but was calm and we talked about what would happen if I was pregnant. He told me he wasn't expecting to think about the reality of kids this soon, but did some mental math on finances and agreed that if I wanted to actually go through with it, he could make our existing savings work and change his work schedule to start getting things into shape for a baby. He, unprompted, stressed I didn't have to rush into it just because it's thrust upon me and if I had to terminate early, he'd stand by my decision.

When I talked about the option of keeping it, I couldn't help but notice how much he was smiling and all the unconscious excited hand movements he doesn't know he's making. He didn't once try to pressure me either way on the issue, and despite his obvious excitement over the prospect of having the baby, was really detached and didn't share his feelings on it at all - just the finances and time needed to get everything ready. If I wasn't in the room with him, I'd have gotten the impression he was more invested in waiting until we're better prepared.

Now I'm 50/50 on the issue of me being paranoid. Either he hasn't been manipulating me and is incredibly in favour of keeping the baby, but just doesn't want to pressure me because he loves me, or he's trying to hide how excited he is and take a balanced approach so he can try to manipulate me into thinking it was my idea to go ahead all along.

Anonymous 87466

NTA but tbh it does sound cringe. like, it sounds like the thing a dumb woman whose personality derives entirely from twitter/tiktok/low IQ sites would say. I mean, you can keep defensively saying it if you want but don't say multiple nonas didn't do you the favour of pointing out that it looks embarrassing.

Anonymous 87470

Pretty sure hot girl shit is literally twitter talk

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