so frustrated and I feel like a failure
I've been trying to run my C++ code in vscode and I am literally too retarded to figure it out even after watching a bunch of tutorials and spending hours trying
this is really bad, a CS student who can't even figure out how to fucking use a IDE
now I am sitting here crying because I definitely chose the wrong major but I'm already a few years into getting my degree and it's way too late to change, I HATE computer science
I can feel my friend slipping away from me, can't wait to bawl my eyes out for months. Life was looking up.
I'm steering into not getting my degree because I keep wasting my fucking time online. I don't want to focus it's just all floating away. Everyone is supportive and I still can't do it. This is a first for me. It's just so stupid. I just want attention, I want to fail so that I can get attention and people will feel sorry for me. This is prime self sabotage. I know I won't make it. I fucking know it. Maybe if I start actually studying but I won't. I want to die.
I'm so sorry anon. Is there anything you can do to reconnect? Maybe something fun you used to do together?
Thank you anon. She's coming over today but I feel more and more like we're from two different worlds. We've known each other for years, I have changed too obviously but it hurts how we grew up together and went in completely different directions the past years. We still have fun together but our beliefs are pretty much opposite at this point, I don't feel like we can talk like we used to.
if you hate computer science so much then you are just setting yourself up for a hellish future by sticking with it
thinking of getting married to escape my family home. The oldest trick in the box in my culture. I think i’ve hit rock bottom… still in college and living in a dysfunctional home with 3 crazy people is driving me crazy, and it’s extremely hard for a woman to land a job without a degree in this shithole. i really don’t want children or be near a moid especially as a mentally ill woman. I don’t know what to do, wish luck would bring me a homosexual who needs a beard
what country if you dont mind saying?
currently in the most american slapfight on my town's subreddit kek. a new grocery store is being built in the middle of downtown with an oversized parking lot & people were shitting on the op who was saying it was unnecessary, because there are parking garages/spaces literally everywhere, like less than 5 minutes away from where the grocery store is, & it perpetuates car culture (everyone drives a piece of shit so it always reeks of fuel downtown & the traffic is abysmal). & i commented agreeing with him. now im getting called privileged for thinking people can & do walk 30+ minutes to their job even though i was originally saying people could park nearby & walk 2 minutes but these fatties can't read. i've lived briefly in tokyo where the average commute was like 50 minutes of walking & 20 minutes of train ride & saw millions of others doing the same thing. the air was cleaner let me tell you, & everybody was healthier for it! we don't have a great public transportation system here, but we live in the most metropolitan area in the entire state, so it's a condensed area. & i've also worked there as a delivery driver, so dealt firsthand many with the parking/walking situation downtown - it's so much more time effective NOT to use a car because of the traffic - they're just fatties who can't walk!! but im the one on my high horse.
i know that's the shit i get for being on reddit though kek. burgers are fucking insane.
switch into IT or user design services. your experience in CS would make u a step up from other candidates.
Vscode is a demonic ide to set up. Are you pressing F5 and choosing g++ or something similar? Try pressing the debug button on the top right instead. Or just use another ide
This old Chinese man came up to me and asked if I could help him get to this nearby temple, but unfortunately my Chinese wasn’t good enough to fully understand him lol. I was trying to explain he could only walk or take the bus but he kept insisting there was another way and I didn’t know what he was saying. Anyway eventually he gave up, but I feel so bad lol. Sucks that I couldn’t help him and I always feel guilty when Chinese tourists come up to me to ask for directions and shit but my ability to speak Chinese is too shitty to be of any help.
It's not fucking fair. I hate what has happened to me, I hate that it's my fault, I hate it. I'm not built for being alone, I need someone here with me, I need him here, this is such bullshit.
I feel like i am the only one who worries about the upcoming electricity and gas price increase. I can't find a job still and i need to.keep paying the health insurance. I am so scared Id rather freeze myself than turn on the heat.
so sorry. everything is fucking horrifying right now and i feel like we're living in hell. i really hope these next few years fly by.
I'm already over 3 years in to my degree and will be graduating soon, it didn't start getting bad until this year (my last year) and up until now I had more math classes than CS for some reason
I'm trying to improve my art skills so I can at least take commissions as a side hustle and maybe get a job in the gaming industry or something so I don't go crazy doing soulless software dev stuff, it's not even that I hate it but none of my professors help me and my school is online so I have no like support groups or other students to talk to it really sucks I feel like I'm flailing around in the dark trying to teach myself all this stuff >>86802
I followed a tutorial to use the command terminal and had to download a bunch of stuff and that didn't work, then tried messing around with editing .json using tutorials, tried downloading other IDEs and had similar issues, it's like they all hate C++ I never had this issue with python or java
it's not writing the code that is the issue it's when it comes down to compiling it nothing runs even with like a simple hello world program to test it
Of course I don't know what happened to you but I relate to your pain anon. I've been broken up with three months ago and it's slowly sinking in that I was the person to blame for the mess. Being able to be alone and happy at the same time is something I've got to learn too at the moment and it's so, so very hard to do when you're used to someone being there for you always. I almost lose my mind when there's no one around so I just numb my brain with mindless scrolling. But it's gonna get better, I'm sure. There's really no use in blaming yourself, you can only move forward and try your best so whatever you think is your fault doesn't happen again. I'm rooting for you!
I thought my class for tomorrow morning was cancelled, apparently it isn't and I'll get 5 hours of sleep at most. It is a group project so if I don't show up they will think I'm lazy and don't want to participate. I'm just getting over the flu too, I have already missed too much school I don't want to miss this class and fall behind even more. My group seems nice enough (maybe they talk shit behind my back but honestly idc), I think they would fill me in but I don't want to come off as that annoying disinterested bitch. Don't know if I should just go or prioritize my health.
Mum throws the TV remotes whenever she's pissed off and now she's pissed off that none of the remotes work I'm so fucking tired
Im sorry, slowly drifting apart from your childhood friends hurts. How did it go today?
Thanks, we had fun but once we started talking about something a bit more serious it was pretty awkward because it happened to be about something we completely disagree on and I didn't want to pick a fight. We had fun, made stupid jokes and had a pretty good time luckily. Just sucks that someone you used to have so much in common with is so completely different now, we used to be able to talk about anything and everything but now all we really have in common is our humor. It's better than nothing, I just have to accept that shit happens.
See if the company that services you has programs to help low-income people.
Freezing will just stress your body out and be worse for your health.
I hear you but I'm glad that you still had a nice time with her. idk but do you think there's a chance she feels the same way?
Maybe. She knows I don't care about the same things she does but she has other friends that do hold the same values so she can talk about it with them, I don't think she holds a grudge against me or anything but I think she's starting to see me as a way to kill time more so than an actual friendship. I don't think it will end but I don't think we're going to remain close for very long. I feel the urge to talk to people who feel the same way I do but I can't seem to find any. I'm not outgoing either, I find it hard to talk to people I don't know and it makes me feel completely isolated from this world.
I wish that I could ask someone if they'd like to be my friend without sounding insanely awkward or being rejected too harshly.
If they don't start naturally I have no idea how to make someone my friend. I hate having autism.
Lately I've been making different SM accounts for whatever I'm into and I talk to people who share that interest on those accounts, but I wish I could actually somehow develop a real friendship with them because I like sharing interests with my friends. I don't even know if I'm making sense.
I'm also socially stupid, anon.
But I'm starting to "put myself out there" and have found outgoing people just kind of…start talking to you for no specific reason to make friends. They don't seek a goal for the interaction. They just recruit you to witness their life, often via daily updates.
No idea how to get the confidence to be this sort of person. That role is a mystery to me so it's hard to befriend other awkward people. Currently I just keep appearing where they are and hope we warm up to each other eventually.
Good luck on friendship, anon. We're on this trip together.
>find cool art
>it's vtuber fanart
I wish I wasn't tasked with representing my entire group when I fuck up. This goes with representing Womankind(tm) when I'm around men as well as other aspects about me.
If I'm stupid once on an off-day, an outsider will see us all as incompetent and deserving of suffering. It's too much responsibility. Fuck it, man.
Rationally, if you're doing something that is due to normal human failure, and have an accident that is typical of anyone, then it's not that bad. If men do the same thing at the same frequency, then it's not something someone can hold against all women.
Even on the internet I’m a completely unnoticed loser, just like irl.
I just wanna be pretty enough for lolita dresses why I am so ugly ugh
My brother's girlfriend is so nice and pretty, I do not know why she is with this ugly retard. Talking with her is the highlight of my everyday, I want her to be with me instead.
Why did I not end things sooner, I knew better, but didn’t
i feel like my life is on pause and i cant do anything to start it. everything feels bleak, like everything lost its meaning. drawing isn't fulfilling anymore. making music is hard and frustrating. im in uni for a translation degree but i feel like it doesnt make any sense to continue. i got fired from work for kicking a trashcan after being threatened and treated like shit. i feel like its all too much for me and ive ran out of ways to help myself. i cant enjoy anything, not even having friends over or seeing them outside. i know my issues arent that bad but i feel so defeated noticing that maybe my creativity has died
I legit thought this was someone mocking my posts from how similar our lives are till i got to the job part
I’m having suicidal ideation/ suicidal thoughts again, ik this is a bit of a adhd sperg but living with this is truly awful. Fuck anybody who makes this shit seem quirky when having it makes me want to blow my brains out. I will never reach this standard of normalcy that is expected for me especially without relying on pills to function in this shitty world. I also feel like shit cause I live fairly close to a major city and the county that I live in is getting more and more expensive and unlivable by the years and to even live here I still live with my mom who also wants to move out of the country. I’m embarrassed but I have to be honest with myself that I still live and rely on her, don’t get me wrong I’m not a fucking neet, I go to school and I work but for a place like this it is not enough and I don’t have any friends to live with or trust so now I’m stuck in this place that feels like it’s going to collapse under my feet. I fucking hate living and I resent being born in this world.
First one to view my story, still hasn’t answered me back. Why are guys like this?
Don't be so harsh on yourself, nona. C++ can be really ugly especially if you haven't done anything with compiled languages before, and IDEs sometimes make things more complicated instead of simpler. If you can "get" how to compile a simple program from the command line, it'll be a lot easier to understand the IDE as well (all it does in the background is just running terminal commands, after all). A lot of real-world stuff is really just working out things like this……. frustrating, I know, but don't give up! If it's any help, if you were doing this in any half-serious software company, they'd have internal guidelines and a knowledgebase that explains all the most common issues, as well as more experienced devs that'd help you out (everyone has had to ask for help at some point, pretending otherwise is just dumb). Good luck!if all else fails: [email protected]
im sorry nona I would never do that. I hadnt read ur post before. i hope you have a good day today.
I hope fees problem will be resolved please please please please
I have no one to talk to. I don’t have friends anymore. I’ve just completely isolated myself from everyone, I feel so lonely. Ive tried to make friends but it never really goes anywhere. I just don’t feel a connection to anyone. I always just pull away and stop messaging them. If they ask me to hangout, I find ways to get out of it. I act like I don’t care but internally I’m freaking out. I tried to tell my boyfriend and he just took over the conversation and made it about him and his problems. I just have no one to talk to. I should probably go to therapy.
There are men who wear Lolita dresses. Just give it a shot nona
No i know you aren’t i’m just bewildered over how much we match up in our struggles lmao
We can try talking if you'd like
If this is the guy who stalks my posts on here. Plssss leave me alone!! If not, why do you wanna talk to me?
Because I'm going through the same thing right now, loneliness hit me especially hard today for some reason so I'm feeling extra menhera
Another anon going through loneliness but it’s because I just cannot relate to my normie classmates and also never connect to anyone. I’m terminally online because the only person I really talk to outside my family is my LDR boyfriend. I’ve given up trying to be friends with normies because it always becomes painfully clear they have nothing in common with me and it feels forced. I really wish I had female friends who could appreciate my quirks and interests…
That happened to me too, but I just used google translate and it was perfect. Why didnt you use that?
I've only used java and python before this, and used pycharm and eclipse and those were fine no issues
I ended up submitting my code project without testing it and hoping for the best
this project in particular was supposed to sort through a csv file and I think that had something to do with my code not working, since with other IDEs it was easy to drag and drop stuff into source files for the program to use but this vscode is the most confusing thing I've ever had to code in
maybe I should just spend a day binge watching tutorials or something to figure it out
Sorry, anon, I just don't really do online friends anymore. I've added people from imageboards before and none of my friendships from those adds have ever lasted since it always turns out we don't actually have much in common. I've also had my trust broken too many times by online friends and I'm wary of that now. I really want irl female friends more than anything but that feels like a pipe dream at this point.
Anon, are you me?
It's (formally) only just my first week, but I already loathe university. Aside from the normal pains of adaptation to a strict schedule and long-lasting focus (I've been living like a NEET for the last few years so it's especially hard on me), I'm having trouble making friends and finding anyone interesting at all, despite having attended multiple uni events already; everybody studying with me and readily available and socially acceptable to try to get along with (long story; involves how unis of my country are usually organized; plus all of our classes are online because of the fucked up situation in the country, and everyone online feels so jaded and unchill) is just too painfully boring and normie, and nobody seems that interested in the subject we're studying (they've never reached farther than the school material on it). I sincerely tried to strike up some sort of a conversation and connection at first, but it's way too hard when there is such a huge rift both in an emotional and intellectual sense, and no common interests or aspirations. There are some girls slightly interested in me, but getting close to them out of necessity (as I do now) only makes me feel worse, since I'm definitely ditching them eventually when I find someone I actually like, even if just a little bit.
Overall, I feel lonely and alien, disappointed in my new environment but also in myself, somehow.
I'm also three years into my CS degree. Don't let it bother you too much. I just did a SWE internship this summer and it made me realize even more how 90% of what you learn in school is useless for an actual dev job. At least after having done an internship, you really can't blame someone for just doing the bare minimum anymore.
I was informed by a literal male yesterday that the uterus and the womb are the same thing. I'm 28 years old. I don't know how I let this gap in my knowledge exist for so long. I think my brain is rotted, I need to stop going on the computer
many such cases, nona. so so so many such cases.
Sorry for replying so late but I'm sorry that you feel so isolated. But don't give up on meeting new people and making friends even if it takes a lot of time. And it sounds like what you had was special I hope you can find something like that again while still appreciating all you had with her. That connection will probably always be there in a way
its disheartening to see a lot of people's feelings in these threads go unreplied to
I read almost every post in the vent threads but often don't know what to say to them. Instead of posting something unintentionally insensitive or even giving unwanted advice, I just refrain from replying to them.
I’m a senior in high school. Severe social anxiety, autistic, socially isolated despite my best efforts, missing out on any partying or social activities my peers are partaking in. I feel so fucking lonely. I have friends I guess but not anyone who I can just call to talk to without it being weird and socializing is so overwhelming for me even though I’ve been putting my foot forward I can only do so much. I have never had a real boyfriend, only e dating which ended with me so unbelievably heartbroken and sad with no real intimate experiences to “be glad it happened.” I am conventionally pretty and I do receive male attention but I don’t know how to handle it and they lose interest pretty quick because I come off as uninterested and its hard for me to communicate properly. I’ve never had a real boyfriend or even really a real kiss. All my peers are not even virgins anymore. I know I have time ahead but I feel so lonely. I feel so frustrated and sad all the time. I’m going to graduate and my high school experience just consisted of eating lunch alone and crying in the bathroom from overwhelm. I’m in therapy which helped a bit but It’s still not doing it for me. I join school clubs and even in those I sit alone. My parents are the midst of a nasty divorce and although I do talk to my mom she is not always the most emotionally available. I feel as if I died tomorrow it wouldn’t be a big thing. Most people wouldn’t even be curious enough to figure out where I went. I find joy in nature and music and literature and animals but It’s just not enough. I know I’m young but I still feel fundamentally broken, and as if It is always going to be this way. I just want friends. I wish I wasn’t so alone. I really am trying my best.
I didn't do most of these and I don't really feel like I missed out, I changed schools once a year and most of my bonds were weak, but I can't say I had nothing
… but still, maybe you should just search for these things online in some form to meet your social needs. I spent most of my teenage years on IM chat sites, which comes with it's own risks, but I at least could talk to people sometimes about my opinions and topics, which I feel like is all I really needed to get by.
I think it's also important to realize and remember that life is not some pre-set checklist you're supposed to do check all entries off of before some biological timer goes off. Sex at a young age, attending worthless ceremonies to things you don't care about, engaging in clubs, all of that is just built up social expectations that are fairly recent in history. Life is what you decide it be, so even if you're lonely in general, try not to let your lack of care to attend these things weigh you down too much. You aren't required to become some social archetype for others. This paragraph might miss the mark a bit, I'm aware, but basically try to examine what your bitterness is rooted in and decide if it's worth dealing with, or cast it out.
For your interests, they're a starting point, but really general here. What kind
of literature do you like? What parts of nature do you involve yourself in, like hiking, gardening, anything? Genre of music? Trying to become a veterinarian? A great way to make social connections is to enter these subject matters more than surface level and engage with like-minded people, and as you age further you'll have more experience and depth to your interests that also lets you interact with people more meaningfully within them. Explore your interests, find those niche subcultures, and carve out your existence into them by enjoying them with others. I sometimes struggle myself with thinking I need to be on friendly terms with everyone, but I often find myself much happier when I'm just interacting in a tiny group of people who know what personalities they like and want to be around.
High school is serious bitch even if you are conventionally pretty. I bet people thought I had it all in high school but I actually felt so incredibly anxious the entire time that every single social interaction I had those 4 years was hell. I caught my dad cheating on my mom when I was 16, I'm still the only one in the immediate family who knows, I kept it a secret so my parents wouldn't split up. It's been 10 years since I graduated and my whole life is changing for the better now. I had to go through a lot of shit but I'm here, sometimes I can't believe I made it. I didn't think I would make it to 25. What I'm trying to say is that I think you should stick around and see what happens nona, high school is a short blip in the grand scheme of life, you seem pretty cool especially if you're posting on here and I think you're gonna make it. Also, we just got out of a fucking unprecedented pandemic and you were going through the most vulnerable time in your life during it, give yourself a fucking break!
I’m tired of having a face. And a body. I wish humans could exist in a way that we don’t have physical forms. I didn’t choose to be so ugly. Why did I have to be born like this?? There are so many attractive people out there. Your physical appearance literally affects every aspect of your life and people will not see you as human if you’re not pretty. i need surgery
if you don't mind, can you tell me more about your internship like how you were able to get it and how hard it was/what you did daily and stuff? I feel like a failure since I really don't know what I'm doing beyond basic things like while loops and method calls and I'm worried now this final year of class will be a real struggle and I won't be able to get a job after I graduate
it makes it even worse that there are no other women in my classes and the women in tech organizations I could join are like almost all troons with only a small handful of actual women (probably handmaidens too sadly)
it just feels so discouraging being a CS student especially at an all online uni
i am sooo lazy but i dont really mind bc my life is pretty good for once. i want to hug everyone on this thread!!
Does anyone else just hate when their mother says they look like them?
My mom says it all the time and it just pisses me off. mostly cause it’s not true and she’s using me as some weird grasp at youth. She also says it because I don’t look like her because I’m more attractive which she has said multiple times. It’s like a weird way to boost her confidence and I dont like it. Like I’m literally the spitting image of my dad and his mom. Everyone says it. I was telling her how I was gonna get my hair lightened cause my hair has gotten this red/brown color. she then complained about me getting my hair done cause in her words I’m starting to look like her which she says every time my hair gets dark.
i'm in a really vulnerable place in my life. due to the amount of suicide attempts i've tried recently, i have had to go to the pysch ward twice, on top of having more doctor's visits for other health issues. it's getting tiring having to go in and out of medical facilities.
now my "best friend" has gotten tired of trying to keep up with all my issues. she's wanted to keep her distance from me for ages, so i decide to give her space and not speak to her until i get in better physical health. but somehow me doing this upset her and led to her blocking me on quite literally anything that had a friend system, even if the app itself didn't have a messaging system. i truly do not understand whats the logic or endgame from this
I'm such a cunt.
I hate Emma Chamberlain. I'm aware that the hate is unwarranted because she seems like a lovely person, and I'm also aware that it's more envy than actual loathing.
Yes she stumbled into a multi-million dollar fortune built on advertising the san-fran teenage lifestyle, and now she's touring Europe with her dad. I think that's the only facet of her life that I envy. Being financially secure to travel. And probably not having to apply for visas while travelling.
Wouldn't that be grand? Financial security, without having to enslave yourself to the most loathsome profession known to man(Engineering). At least if I were the fun kind of Engineer, and not another code monkey (Data Sci*ntist). I just wanna study physics again and visit greece.
You know what I fucking want?
I want to pummel every single dividual in my life to the fucking curb. I want to beat them bloody. I want to become something so good, so unattainable, so great, that these pathetic bystanders weep themselves to bed when they realize how utterly ordinary their puny existence is compared to mine.
I need to be shot. My narc tendencies fester when I'm at the very bottom. Instead of becoming more humble, less ego-driven, I find myself turning into an anti-social creature. Desperate to best everyone to get a crumb of validation. My existence is only justified if I become BETTER than everyone else in my life. But how? This isn't normal. I have been competitive in my life before, and yes that did increase my productivity levels, but that was within a controlled, academic setting. How do I compete now? What are the new rules to achieve glory? Getting a better paying job? Working longer hours? Posting on insta? Getting more degrees? Birthing more children? I will still be insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
starting to think i don't actually have an ed. my persistent weigh loss can easilly be attributed to a thyroid issue, esp now that i lost my period.
Don't know why this was deleted by mods but okay>>87159
i feel so confused about how dating is supposed to work for women, especially plain janes or those who struggle with social anxiety.
i feel that at least if i was a guy, i could take a more active role. when ive tried to ask men out, or even just be friends with men, i am rejected. ive realized throughout the years that straight up asking a guy out or telling him you like him is a bad idea.
im not ugly or overweight, though for my age range im definitely not someone seen as attractive. im pretty flat chested and when im around a group of girls my age, i can use my eyes and see that they have more attractive/feminine faces and features. its really amazing just how many beautiful and cute girls there are. i like my appearance and i get a lot of compliments by other girls on my style and how cute i am. when i have had relationships, the other person never seems to be very interested in me sexually. usually they make fun of me for being too horny and completely lose interest in me in that way. this comical and alien experience that underlies all my relationships feels so ridiculous and antithetical to the female experience that i just wonder how terribly abnormal i must be.
i know that i am not entitled to these men who reject me, im not angry at them but i just feel lost. im not entitled to romance, attention, or sex. but its so strange to grow up being told that men will be falling over you, to finding out youre not on their radar at all.
there are good parts to this, im not harassed by men, or kidnapped, or cat called, and ive never been groped by a stranger. i know that a lot of women have to deal with this fear, but ive never really felt it at all. i feel almost completely invisible to men, and i guess this is very freeing in its own way.
i feel this pain, deep in my throat about this and deep in my stomach, a deep rooted insecurity that feels core to my being.
Once you do the asking out, you get rejected a lot, it's normal. Some men can't deal with a woman asking them out, it's a good way to weed them out. You need to get used to it.
Shoutouts to my mom today guilting me worse for missing my appointment. Like thanks, having to wait another month on a physical health problem that's hurting me wasn't bad enough, let's make nona feel worse for sleeping in too late.
My younger brother is still pure, I will be sad he grows up and becomes unhinged.
I found out this morning I got my dream job that I have wanted for over 10 years.
Then for some reason I googled a woman I used to vaguely know and now I feel worthless in comparison as she’s doing so much better.
I know I wouldn’t be happy with her life but I can’t help but feel stupid getting excited for something not that amazing, even if it means a lot to me. I also know that her life is nowhere as nice in real life as it is on paper.
But putting all that aside, why do I always do this to myself? Why can’t I be happy where I am and not even think about others?
>still not a magical girl
It hurts so fucking bad
me and my friend have a class together and we both have a crush on the professor. it was fun at first, making jokes about him and sharing glances when he does something cute, but now i'm afraid its gonna drive a wedge between us as im becoming more attached
yesterday, he complimented her twice, once on her shirt, and once on her career choice. idk if it's just bc im hormonal bc of pms and everything but ive been comparing myself to her nonstop. we have a paper coming up soon and weve agreed not to share our grades, but even just going to class, if one of us makes a good point and gets praise it feeds into this feeling of jealousy even if we dont want to have ill will towards each other
ik that the crush is delusional in the first place, and even if the prof actually liked either of us or made a move it'd be disgusting on his part and not at all flattering, but i still can't help but wish she didn't also like him so i could live in my fantasy world in peace for a while
You need to make it part of the fantasy. Your prof knows you like him but wants to play hard to get and make you jealous so you flirt harder with him.
Obviously do not do anything with him at all.
I calmed down a bit and realized I had made the same mistake I always make. I get the smallest bit of information about someone and then spin a long narrative in my head about how much better they are than me and how worthless I am in comparison.
Thinking logically about what I had read about her and know behind the scenes, there really wasn't much to envy at all. I also realized that what I envied most was her apparent security and independence (neither of which she actually has).
I hate so much when I get worked up like this, yet looking back at each time I've done this, it's always spurred me forwards and made it clear what I am lacking in my life. I've made so much progress because of them. Even getting my dream job was motivated by one of these envy pangs.
While my conscious self worth is increasing as I make more and more envy inspired improvements to myself, my sub-conscious still has strong instincts that I'm automatically below everyone else and I really need to work on that.
Outgoing people like this are my only friends because they're the only ones capable of initiating and sustaining a conversation. I can hold a decent conversation but only because my replies can be lengthy and can make them prone to thinking of things to talk about. I personally can never initiate a conversation, let alone topic changes or new topics to fill a silence. It's always receptive.
Even on anonymous imageboards I rarely ever post threads - it's always replies. I don't know how people just come up with things to say out of thin air.
Occultism can’t make you prettier
Today I saw the most bullshit post on Instagram. It was claiming that nothing in the dsm-5 is real and that it was all an oppressive thing made by “rich, white, neurotypical men”
There are people who can’t fucking function because they’re schizo and get hallucinations. There are people who starve themselves to death because of how much they hate their body. There are people who are so autistic they literally can’t talk. I could go on. And these idiots are trying to tell me these disorders don’t fucking exist.
It was meant to be this whole freedom woke thing but it’s more offensive than it is woke. Like. Imagine all of the people you know with untreated mental disorders and then imagine if that was every fucking person with a mental disorder. It would be hell out there. Why do people not want to be treated? Why do they not want to feel better just for some brownie twitter points?
What the fuck will I do after I graduate?
I have no job offer lined up (because I didn't apply) and my Visa runs out a day before my thesis presentation, so I can't run back to France looking for a job.
Nor does it seem like I want to. It's so close to my home country. When I was there, not a day passed by without me crossing paths with another fellow Tunisian.
I want to go some place far away, where no one can recognize me. I want a clean slate.
Some place far enough for it to be inconvenient for my mom to text me every 2 hours checking up to see if I was home before dark.
Impending recession. Endless economic trials. My IT degree from a useless top tier nafri uni won't help much. My empty bank account where I can't even check the balance because I'd lost my client code. Armed with one of the weakest passports in the world. Yet, I can't imagine staying here any longer. Why am I still here?
Okay this is going to sound like a stupid question, but what is so bad about admitting that you find someone who did something bad attractive? Admitting that you think someone is cute doesn't mean that you condone their actions. And while I agree it's in bad taste and not something to be proud of, it isn't as if tons of people are going to see posts about it on an obscure Mongolian underwater basket weaving forum. All those husbando threads on lolcow… I want to post about the person (or persons) I think are cute too, but I know I shouldn't because it's not allowed and I'll ruin their fun. And I'm not a hybristophile. I think sometimes when I research a subject I just end up learning an autistic amount about people and sometimes that leads me to being attracted to them.
Anyway I get that the internet isn't my safe space, so I'm not upset at them. I just don't really get why it's such a taboo thing to admit, even if I were to say "I agree he did a shitty thing and I don't condone his actions and I also think x and y about him was cute and I think about him a lot." I guess that is pretty unhinged, but isn't it ultimately harmless?
Look for a job in Australia.
I had a crisis this morning.
It was very reminiscient of my Baccaleaureate year. I was literally shaking like a tard, crying my eyes out in public, sniffling, mewling, squeaking, complaining, whinging (running out of verbs here). It dawned on me that the kind of crippling anxiety that used to plague me at 18 was back with a vengeance. At this point, what do I do? I spent the last 3 years floating around my life in a medicated haze (and even then I was still sad). But I guess the meds really did suppress the real effect of anxiety. It was so crippling. I was looking at my report, reaching into my mind to try and reason my way out my woe, and it just… didn't work. My brain that is. It was so wholly incapacitating. The equivalent would be to spend hours looking at entry level calc, algorithms you know the answer to by heart, and not knowing how to start.
I smoked a cigarette. Yes, the effect was placebo at best, but what do i do? I will never be fine. I tried to pray, tried to remind myself of the stoic truth that nothing matters, tried.. and was no less frozen by fear. The dread, the fucking pit in my stomach. It's inexplicable. There's no rational reason to explain the onset of this anxiety attack. It just happened. It's debilitating. I can't function. I want to work. I want to be normal. I'm too old to be this weak. The world may have given me passes when I was young but no more. How am to ever be self reliant?
Does your crush affect anyone in any way shape or form?
Then it's pointless to argue for or against the morality of it. Thoughts are abstract things. Attraction (especially to inaccessible beings) is only socially valid if it's physically consummated and reciprocated.
I'm taking care of my niece for a week or so while my sister is in the hospital (gallbladder), and we are taking baths together. It is so nice to have someone to talk to and help each other wash our hair. It is fucked up how strongly individualistic our current society is, that something that is so implicitly superior to do with our family, we do alone.
There's two actually cute CS guys talking to me right now. How is one supposed to actually progress past a cordial/friendly relationship with men? I am way too autistic and shy to ever even think about showing interest in someone at this point. I just talk to guys all the same, in a very casual way (Not as a pickme though). It's hard to believe I've even been approached by attractive guys, and two at that, considering I am not conventionally attractive at all.
Sure. It's cliche but I just applied everywhere. It really is a numbers game. Although I think personally having my campus job as a CS tutor also helped because it gave me something to relate to with one of my interviewers, since she had also worked as a CS Tutor at her college, and I could show that I really know the concepts I was talking about by being able to explain them to other students.
>it makes it even worse that there are no other women in my classes and the women in tech organizations I could join are like almost all troons with only a small handful of actual women (probably handmaidens too sadly)
Yeah, don't do that. All-women tech organizations, especially at a college, are bound to get too political and attract cringe "MUH GENDER!" people at it. Look for some Coding Challenges you can attend with friends or something, instead.
I've noticed there's some catty twitterfags on here and lolcow lately, it's so annoying. I don't know why some people have such shitty attitudes, get offended over nothing, or assume everyone they're talking to has the same american experience as them.
Yeah that makes sense. I just wish I could sperg about a guy I think is cute without a bunch of anons telling me to fuck off or kill myself because he did something bad. I already know he did something bad and I don’t think that’s okay, but I want to gush the same way they do…
Ahhhh I don't know what to do.
I'm trying to learn Japanese, so I downloaded twitter to talk with natives and help people who want to learn English.
Overall so far it's been very fun and it feels good helping someone while they're helping you. If you want to learn a language I really do recommend twitter, many natives are willing to help you for free.
Though the problem is recently there's been this one person (can't tell if guy or girl) who has gotten kinda clingy I guess. Keeps track of my timezone and messages me good morning/good night whenever they wake up/go to sleep. I guess they're lonely. But I'm not on twitter to make friends, especially if they're a guy and especially because well I still can't speak the language well enough for an actual friendship. I enjoy random casual convos occasionally and they do help, but this person seems to want to message everyday. Idk how to politely say that I am not even online everyday and I don't really want to be friends. Seems parasocial-y. I don't want to hurt their feelings or never talk to them again, but I don't want them to get attached to me or wait for my responses. I know this is a very silly problem but I am awful at socializing and I get pressured and I really don't know how to reject people in any way nvm in a different language.
ok I stalked their profile and they uploaded a picture of them holding a coin and the hand looked like an old man's hand to me. Of course it is.
Recently I’ve felt like I’ve been gaining weight especially when I look at my arms so I weighed myself and found out I actually lost a few since last time I checked. I still have that fat feeling though and it makes me feel weird that I can’t explain it
Finally understood something from my childhood today. One day when I about 10 and was supposed to go shopping with my sister, I didn't feel well and couldn't go. When my sister returned, she had bought a small ornament for me. While I liked it at the time and it made me feel special because someone had actually thought of me, I never really liked to look at it much. Something about it just felt off.
My mother would often say that I "only came to her when I wanted something" but that my sister was helpful and caring. This isn't really surprising as my mother always spoke more kindly to my sister, making it enjoyable to talk with. In contrast, she would nitpick and belittle my opinions or go on the same old long monologues about herself. I've also since been diagnosed with autism as an adult, and while I would say that I now have a very good sense of empathy, I didn't as a child and helping just would not occur to me or I would regularly forget to do chores, which my mother always treated as deliberate misbehavior.
Normally any gifts I ever received that my mother saw would be heavily critiqued and without fail deemed "cheap", despite them being from children who likely didn't have much to spend. The irony was that my mother, who was not lacking in money, sourced nearly all the gifts she gave from dollar stores, secondhand stores, or things that she received for free. I only realized now that the weird feeling came from how much my mother had praised my sister for doing this for me. The ornament, while pretty, clearly was not expensive. My mother no doubt did her nosy "and how much did that cost?" that she always did as a way to exert control over all money in the house, whether it belonged to her or not. However, the gift was not deemed "cheap" and instead my sister had praise heaped upon her of how caring she is. The was often repeated whenever my mother saw it over the years.
I see now that for me, the ornament was a representative of everything that made my mother favor my sister over me. On paper I surpassed my sister in every way but that was never enough. I didn't allow my mother to become as emotionally enmeshed with me as she did my sister, nor would I turn a blind eye to the regular poor behavior and selfishness I witnessed from her. My mother only wanted people who would fawn and devote themselves to her and I couldn't do that.
I had the most retarded argument with my mother this morning. She called me a loser (fair) and just kept stabbing verbally. I've had the same conversation with the same insults so many times I decided to just pull myself to my room to smoke. She barges in, calling me a whore because the neighbors would see that I was smoking. I took myself
I feel like a teenager. Like a little girl getting scolded. I'm 25. I have this very pressing need to hurt myself or kill myself. If I'm not going to act on this need it will only exacerbate my low self worth. If I botch it it'll look like attention whoring. Sick of saying I'm done and doing nothing to actually end it. I'm also aware that all these thoughts are irrational and temporary. Basically my body's flight response activated due to the massive amounts of anxiety it's brewing in rn.
Why do I have to be so hairy? I feel like a female grug, as I'm also very tall. Both me and my mom have very long arm hair, inherited from my grandpa. I have few thick hairs on the chin that I have to pluck. I even have visible hair on my feet and toes. I have male tier hair on my belly. I'm always more hairy than the moids I date, my half greek ex being the only exception.
Obviously I have black hair and a fair complexion so it's very visible.
Is it the curse of mediteranean genes? Are we the most hairy people on the planet? My greek ex says his dutch family is hairier than his greek family, but I severely doubt it.
Your mom sucks. Not your fault at all. No mother should ever call their daughter a whore for anything, what the fuck.
I'm hairy with very dark hairs and pale complextion too. For me, it must be my dad's genes because my mom isn't like that. I'm slav, not mediterannean, but with my level of body hair I practically must be. It's not the kind of "hairy" women can get away with going out with, at all. I legitametely end up looking like a gorilla.
What's even worse is that I'm prone to ingrown hairs alot too, so then I have to choose between having hairy legs or strawberry legs. Switching to epilating over shaving helped with that, but not by alot.
If your hormones are screwed up, you might be experiencing muscle wasting and have a higher bf% while losing weight. It wouldn’t hurt to get your thyroid checked.
I lost a kilo this week and my period is 12 days late (am a version) with no sign of it ever coming. Hyperthyroidism?
I wish the people in my life would stop underestimating my intelligence. They genuinely think I’m and idiot and they think I can’t tell, but I can. They will try to convince me Santa Claus is real, or that I should rap for people. They think I’m a tard.
I need this girl I like to fuck me long and hard. Badly. Or at very least, a girl like her. As femcelish and unrealistic as it sounds. Maybe it’s the only way I can feel better about people being so shitty. Because I have a feeling it won’t ever stop.
God I’m a fucking loser.
I couldn't help almost a single student that came to me for help at work today. I kept directing them to my co-workers and the last guy who came to me for help got short with me, started asking me "Aren't you supposed to know this?" and even ended up asking someone else for help himself. Then I came back to my coworkers talking about reporting someone for being a bad employee. It seemed obvious it wasn't me, but it still had me thinking "Oh shit" like they're on to me.
Today was just absolutely horrible and now all I can think about is quitting, but I need this job. It was pretty comfy when I got to do it online, but now I'm forced to do it in-person and every time I help in-person I feel under immense stress and pressure. I want to talk to my boss about letting me WFH at least one more day but he probably won't allow it. I'm pretty sure I do my job better online, but there's a huge push now to make everyone work in person.
As long as you're not expected to know these things then I don't see the issue. Being able to redirect students to the right person is helpful too.
Iktf. Help them with what? I work at a college tutoring centre and in preparation for it I went back and found the actual course outlines for the classes I wanted to tutor and learned all the material as best as I could, which helped a lot and made me more confident. Is there any written syllabus of stuff you should know, or could you ask to find out how to be better prepared?
Male doctors are notorious for dismissing womens symptoms. Women are more likely to have heart attacks misdiagnosed than men are. For decades illnesses that affect mostly women like EDS, pelvic pain and orthostatic tachycardia were dismissed as female hysteria and lack of sex. Turns out moid doctors just don’t care about female patients. Female patients are also more likely to die by a male surgeon than a female surgeon.
Just remember this anytime a moid makes a joke about female doctors or surgeons.
Not to be a pickme but I hate that passive aggressive thing women do to other women where they intentionally act as if they’re irritated and in a bad mood around you and that you are annoying them even though you aren’t interacting with them. I swear men never do this shit to me.
Women can just be bitchy sometimes, it sucks
I hate this too. I remember one girl in high school decided she didn't like me anymore (she regularly did this to people) and the next day all our joint friends ignored me and then made comments for me to overhear saying things like "Anon keeps trying to talk to us" and "she keeps following us" because I walked down a corridor behind them and made two comments to them before I took a hint and left. In the next class my leg accidentally touched one of theirs under the table and the way she reacted was so huffy and over the top it was bizarre. I've never seen anything like it.
They ended up speaking to me again a few days later (so they could go back to copying my work no doubt) but the whole thing was so weird. Did they actually get that annoyed at me over something that didn't even involve them? Were they all acting for some bizarre reason? The friend that didn't like me wasn't even around for any of this.
I swear some people are just too smooth brained to look at situations objectively and put their emotions aside.
thanks anon, hm maybe I'd be better off focusing on my portfolio and getting a few random tech certs, I don't have it in me to apply to tons of internships and deal with lots of rejections
I'm probably going to end up having to deal with troons in this career field eventually anyways but for the meantime I'll avoid tech groups so that I don't have to encounter them unless I'm getting paid lol
I hate that thing men do where they murder and rape women. I swear women have never done that shit to me.
i'm a retarded bulimic parasite neeting in an apartment for autists. my mother, yes my mother i'm well goddamn aware it's humiliating and pathetic, my mother brings me groceries a meal at a time because the people funding the apartment don't have the budget for my oxlike appetite. Yesterday she brought dinner and breakfast to be had the next day. Today she brought food for "breakfast and lunch" because she knew damn well I ate my breakfast already. "What? I've already had breakfast!" I said. So it became lunch and dinner.
When I spoke to her on the phone in the afternoon, she asked me if needed her to bring dinner. "What do you mean, I've still got food!" i said, which was of course a lie.
so here was my chance to exercise my willpower and skip a single fucking meal for once in my life.
and then a few moments later i caved and asked her to get dinner
i ate a full bag of frozen dumplings, 35 of them, and two packs of noodles, and an icecream, and a soda. later i made a massive garlic butter flatbread.
at that point you'll gain weight no matter how thoroughly you purge. i'm not even that thorough anymore.
i hate myself what am i doing
i didn't used to binge i just purged what i ate, i'm still underweight but that won't last very long at all
call me a glutton i don't care i know i am. i'm writing this here because i'm ashamed to admit this to my one kind-of friend. i'm always talking her ear off about my eating disorder, or otherwise about food… i remind myself of those idiotic threads on edtwt "pov you're the fat friend and everybody finds you and your eating habits and appearance disgusting", the way they're written to do nothing but eat and think about nothing but eating.
oh, i could cry. i am crying!
I kind of am expected to know because it's for tutoring. I'm actually the CS Tutor anon from >>87295
. LOL Didn't really want to admit it outright initially though, since I feel bad for saying before that I was able to explain what I know and now it seems I've reverted and I'm really bad at this job these days.
>>Is there any written syllabus of stuff you should know, or could you ask to find out how to be better prepared?
Since it is for programming, there usually isn't a way to help with a by-the-book, traditional approach. You have to be a good and logical problem solver to help debug people's code. I've been fine with that online but I feel serious performance anxiety and time pressure trying to help people about it in-person. And people who start getting visibly impatient and rude with me while I'm trying to, like that student who was repeating "Oh my god", asking me "Aren't you supposed to know this?" and "How do you tutor for this class if you don't know this?" make it even worse. I need a calm and quiet environment to focus in to be able to help. I think I can only get that from home at this point tbh.
You’re not a glutton anon. Your body is deprived of energy due to the purging and making you crave lots of food.
If you’re already underweight than overeating from time to time is not a bad thing. Just listen to your body when it comes to eating and focus on stopping the purging.
Lolcow is too aggressive and hostile for me and I don't care about cows.
4chan is too aggressive and moid filled and coomery for me.
Now CC is raided by a schizo troon 24/7.
I'm internet homeless!
Fellow nafri anon ily <3 have you tried to apply to jobs in literal middle of nowhere places? I hope u figure your stuff out
This goes without saying, but that student was a piece of shit. I had a few embarassing moments but they've never said anything like that out loud, so I'm sorry to hear you had to go through that.
When you get started helping someone, do you have a tendency to jump into it looking for the issue? It would likely help to ask the student to give you any necessary context about their code and set up a game plan (your issue might be x, y, and z - let's try each one). Although each code will be different so I can see why you'd say it's impossible to go by the book, there surely ought to be some tips for problem formulation and solving you can find somewhere, from a textbook, a professor, and so on? (If your students are mostly taking similar courses or professors, even better for tracking down some good info!)
And as a kind of psychological tip, I can soften my landing when I make an error or misread something with the student by saying something like "oh sorry, I thought this was an [x] kind of problem, which I often see with other students," or "I don't have a background in this particular area of [subject], let's ask [other tutor] about it." It'll make both yourself and the student feel better about you, lol. And I don't know if you're doing this already, but I like to be a bit casual and humourous with students, they pretty much always take to it well and takes off pressure from everyone.
Eitherway, best of luck!
i have a problem with this site and the internet in general, i cant stop browsing or spending my time skimming every comment i see, hoping to find something, anything. a grain of enjoyment but i only laugh a little maybe once a day. perhaps im so sucked into the internet that i cant even realize how addicted ive become.
Me too. I said I was gonna quit browsing this site in a previous thread but came back after a few weeks. Imagine all the skills we could learn and the things we could do if we weren’t addicted to the internet.
>>87512>Imagine all the skills we could learn and the things we could do if we weren’t addicted to the internet.
moreso i dream about being able to wake up and not have the urge to look at all the apps on my phone. i want to be able to live life without the compulsive urge to go online and endlessly search for content. i also have suffered from dissociation for years now and i suspect internet usage has something to do with it.
today i took a short walk, and enjoyed it but couldnt not notice how i felt so out of touch with the nature and things around me. i felt that i saw things in frames rather than a natural running stream of vision. there was the frame of the flowers i saw and the frame of the concrete road, but no relaxed and present state of mind available. i know that comes off as vague but im full of so many ideas and images and words that i cant coherently explain any of them.
i just want this to end.
Thanks. Looking back on it now, I wish I would have told him something like "Hey dude, this is programming not Burger King. I need time to think over here." or "If you don't like my way of tutoring, stop asking ME for help" but I guess either wouldn't really be very appropriate. I did tell him I can't remember all the bash commands needed for that assignment (There are alot of different ones), but I can help explain the concepts to him - Also because he seemed to have started trying to fish out a whole answer from me.
>When you get started helping someone, do you have a tendency to jump into it looking for the issue?
Not if the assignment is unfamiliar, or if they haven't shared what exactly their problem is. Though it is easier for me to enforce that boundary online that in-person, to prevent myself from hand-holding someone.
>, there surely ought to be some tips for problem formulation and solving you can find somewhere, from a textbook, a professor, and so on? (If your students are mostly taking similar courses or professors, even better for tracking down some good info!)
Yes, I told him to reference his notes as well. I would have sent him some online references/guides like I did other students too, but I didn't think of it of at that time because of how I just wanted to get it over with that asshole student.
I’m only 19 but I feel like my life is already over. I fuck everything up in the most abnormal ways and have isolated myself and become so mentally ill and already ruined “ the best years of my life”. I tried to kill myself but I was too terrified of going to hell that I was able to stop the attempt. I wish I could stay in bed all day and be held by my ex but he hates me and so does everyone else :( Sorry for the whining I needed to get it out. Pic unrelated I just think seacows are cute as fuck
I'm strongly considering getting a "dumb phone" at this point. I didn't yet because I still want some features like GPS, good camera and ability to play videos. But I just can't develop self control when it comes to browsing the internet on a smartphone.
Being a woman into girly weeb shit sucks. Most of the people who like it are men/trannies and because of association I get paired with them and viewed as a man. I'd love to find other girls with the same interests. Most of the other girls into it are Asian though and we don't speak the same language. Or they are a real woman, but think they're non-binary or some shit, which is better than the alternatives. I won't stop liking what I like and what has brought me comfort through my darkest times because of others, but I wish I could find friends who are into what I am into.
I get seriously disappointed when I think I've found another girl into the same things but then I find out it's a tranny.
>>87526>most of the people into girly weeb shit are men/trannies
This is absolutely not true. Men are overrepresented on imageboards, but if you went to say, cosplay meetups irl, most if not all the attendees would be women.
I guess that's what I'm missing, I'm unable to go to cons and stuff irl because of my life situation. But I feel the same on social media too. Where do I find other girls into this? You seem knowledgeable. And please don't say discord.
Fellow fuck-up miner, i also fuck up everything. It's like i was born with the worst luck ever. Just try to make the best out of your life, go play a game or something and have fun, it's a good way to cope when everything around you is crumbling into pieces.
This old woman keeps glaring at me on thw treadmill whenever she passes the gym window
give her the pussy licking sign
I hate the moid so much
i wish she didnt have a bf but i know she wouldnt consider even if they broke up
when will i finish this goddamn presentation.
Being an autistic woman is hell for making friends and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
This website I thought would be the place for women like me but nobody here seems to want to even try to make friends (though I do realize the friend finder thread is axed and not coming back)
I'm not the avoidant type of autist, I'm the type that gets clingy, but it feels like most other autists here are the avoidant type. I would kill to meet another woman like me, even if we didn't become friends, it would make me feel a lot better to know I'm not alone in this struggle.
I love how silent the world is between 3AM and 7:30.
Sorry but people who "hate" cat pictures or cats are probably animal abusers and/or narcissists. Can't be trusted
My bedroom smells like garbage and I can't figure out why
Me too. Growing up, I lived in a big city and there was always the background noise of cars speeding down highways making whoosh sounds. As an adult I live in a smaller suburb and its much quieter. I wonder if it would be as quiet if I lived somewhere rural or if wildlife would fill the silence.
>cleaning some stuff out
>find the book all my friends and teachers signed on the last day of school
>most of the comments are about how funny and smart I was and how I'll be able to succeed at anything I do
>go through two years of college and don't really make any friends
>drop out of uni after a two months after not making any friends and finding the work too difficult
>have been a neet that barely leaves the house ever since
I don't know where it all went wrong.
my bf and i haven't spoken in 2 days and we've never gone a day without talking since we met
he really upset me and i dont know if he's so dense he doesn't realise or just doesn't care
Communicate about your issues to resolve it
Dealing with being the daughter of immigrant parents and not having a home and living in a city/county that is foreign to me not having any friends or support system. Family is deluded and devoid of love led by a narcissistic father with people who never had any dreams to begin with trailing behind being told I am making things up and being influenced by westerners when I try to express my mental struggles being severely depressed living in this hellhole of a time where everyone acts like the world is fine though everything operates on vile bleak values feeling suicidal but terrified of death wanting so badly to be loved but deeply ashamed of that desire becoming jaded and infantile and embarrassed being a pathological liar unable to stop because I am too afraid of being hurt never having freedom never experiencing joy feeling dead and old and spent and living for others though I am young. Realising that if you don’t love and care for yourself there is truly nothing and the world is only as good as your own heart
I understand becoming a pathological liar. You learn it if as a kid if you are constantly haranged interrogated, scapegoated or punished for telling the truth or being real. You can never win anyway so telling the truth loses meaning. This is also what happened to me. I don't feel the need to anymore as an adult but I still feel this need to explain everything in my mind. I don't overexplain but my god my brain wants to it's weird
Wish you could be my room mate I hate living with a guy.
Seriously though you need to get the hell out of there.
I just want to finally be done with university, spent 5 years there already and might have to go for a full 6 if i keep fucking up.
Despite me graduating this winter being pretty much a sure thing, excepting anything like horrific illness, I'm just constantly anxious I fucked up something and instead of getting my shitty piece of paper next year they'll tell me I'm still missing courses.
It's such a dumb thing to worry about, went to the guidance office and they told me it all looks fine, but I sctually can't sleep because I worry so much about it.
Not like i even have something planned after graduating I just finally want to be done, to have accomplished something for once.
Exactly anon, I mean now I’m older telling the truth would benefit me a lot of the time but I fuck up my own life I feel completely unable of being completely truthful. Literally I’ll move in with you if you lived in the UK but fat chance
I’ve never had a nice car before. I grew up dirt poor in a trailer park and we always had shitty used cars. Well last month I got a 2017 Kia. Today my 2017 Kia got t-boned and dragged by a stupid fucking Mexican that barley spook any fucking English. I’m about to fucking kill myself.
It’s funny because he was literally driving a truck. Probably so he can go beg for work outside of a hardware store
the only reason I got a loan for my car is because I’ve had steady employment since I was 14. That car that worked so hard for was taken in a second because some fucking Mexican who doesn’t speak English wasn’t paying attention and smashed into me. I think I have a bit of reason to be rude. If it was a white dude, I’d still be saying some pretty choice things. Some of us don’t have everything handed to use by our parents nona. Some of us don’t even have parents that can help or want to help.
Actually I just hate Mexican men. I was molested at 5 by two Mexican relatives and ever since then any interaction with Mexican MEN has been awful. They’ll ask you for your number and pretend not to speak English when you say no. I’ve had Mexican (girl) friends before and their fathers treat them like shit. Mexican men suck as much if not more than white men. Fuck um. Send them back to Mexico and let their wife’s stay to find nice white husbands.
All the people who shout racism probably haven’t had any interactions with people of race they are defending. I’m middle eastern and pretty racist against a lot of people including men in my own race but not in the psycho political way whites are
It’s weird because I don’t really have a problem with black men other than their a little to sexual for me. I don’t really like Islamic men because of the culture of their religion but I don’t just outright hate them. I have no problems with Jews, Asians, Brazilians, or any other type of latinos. But I really don’t trust Mexican men. I have no issue with Mexican women. I just think they aren’t treated very well by the culture. You have to be careful with Mexicans men though. Pls be safe.
The British are awful because they have a high and mighty attitude when their country is awful. The French just be kinda hairy and rude.
The british are kinda okay if they aren't from the south
Northern english are poor and act like it but at least aren't so fucking smug
I mean clearly some diagnoses really are just manifestations of misogyny (e.g. every woman who dares express a modicum of anger = bpd) and some diagnoses that are legitimate mental illnesses (e.g. schizophrenia). It's not that unreasonable that people in the former camp might be skeptical of the psychiatric industry. I mean, they the whole 'woman with emotion = hysteria' thing did come from the same industry.
Unpopular opinion I love the french for how diseased and awful they are. On the other hand brits are possibly the most soulless npc nation in the world and living in this shite country is enough to drive the sanest person mental
Some people sort of want to strive for a mentally healthy outlook. If you indulge in crushes only a mentally ill person would have, then you'll be more likely to adopt a warped worldview. It's sort of like viewing porn - you think it's harmless since nobody material is being hurt, but it changes how you view and assess the world around you. My mental health improved a lot after LARPing as a healthy person in my mind instead of indulging in whatever weird thought happen to occur to me. It's really good to avoid pornography for the mind, and getting crushes on morally bad people is just that.
The french feel pretty real to me, not sure how to really express it.
It's not like they're super honest or something, quite the opposite in fact, but it's easy to realize how they feel and the often express it.
The english could watch their family get murdered and they'd still maintain their carefully neutral expression and try to keep up their retarded fucking accent.
Yeah because their a bunch of pedos but I haven’t dealt with that many French people so I don’t know. That’s giving me anxiety for you. Like I’d be scared anytime I heard them make a loud noise. :/>>87691
The British act like their better than Americans but honestly we’re on the same level. Both trash but at least Americans speak coherent English. >>87692
This is just ew tbh. I don’t think people who dislike Islam hate it for some mental illness. They probably hate it because of the culture and the misogyny of the culture. Mexicans are also super misogynistic because of the culture.
>>87697>This is just ew tbh. I don’t think people who dislike Islam hate it for some mental illness. They probably hate it because of the culture and the misogyny of the culture. Mexicans are also super misogynistic because of the culture.
I don't totally follow the relevance of this as a response to my post. I agree that islam is misogynistic - same with mexican moids. What does that have to do with what I said? I said that when women express anger they often get diagnosed with bpd, even when they aren't mentally ill at all. That's because of misogyny - people hate the prospect of women with emotions (especially defensive ones) so much they'd rather label them mentally ill.
Americans are way better. I want to move away from the UK I really hate it here, but I don't know where to and the first xenophobic comment would probably make me cry.
Despite popular media people don’t really make xenophobic comments and I live in the mountain range where all the republicans live. We don’t call gas stations packies or Asian restaurants chinkies
Why would they in public? You don't know what they're really thinking.
My husband said he would be asleep when I got home from work so I spent all day being excited about eating food I like alone and playing this app I've gotten into but don't usually have time to play.
Right when I got off the train he called me in a bad mood and told me to wait for him. I've been standing in the cold for 20 minutesn
finland and india.…
packie is short for package store / liquor store which is a new england term
Show us on the doll where the entire nation of France touched you
It's done. I just graduated.
What the fuck do i do now?
I'm gonna have to retrain my thoughts and to force them into a good direction.
I want to travel the world, but the world is currently on fire. Besides, I'm broke. I would sell pictures of my feet but they're ugly.
Congrats on graduating.
Crap, I'm worried I'll be in the exact same boat when I do. You deserve to celebrate 4 years of hard work somehow, though.
Oh I was just trolling to mock anyone hating any group based on said group, I mock the individual, like how I mock Sargon for being a gross tubster spewing shit at 12 year olds when he's 46.>>87772
Welcome to being an adult, find your coping mechanism, mines satire but it's dying as a hobby so I can't recommend it.
Just when I thought things were going great, I get ignored all day. I was so happy :(
this girl i really really like has been so cold to me i think, shes posting all the time but takes hours to reply to me and she just says Lol or something like that. i dont feel so good
How long for? If it’s just a day or two then she’s probably just tired or stressed. If she’s been doing that for weeks then yep it’s over and you need to move on.
I love cats irl but I don’t trust people who use cats as reaction images or profile pics. They’re always either autistic, have NPD or are just plain evil.
>>87842>or are just plain evil.
Yeah I get that one a lot for my mischievous pranks.
Cartoon cats are fine. Lolcats, sad cats, or any other kind of meme cat posters are literally satan.
Oh pft yeah in 2022? I honestly agree there, it's unhinged when the internet has beaten that horse to death so thoroughly to be posting those kinds of cats.
Boyfriend broke up with me. Nothing to look foward to every day. Hole in my life. He's going through a terrible time and he just can't be in a relationship, he said I was perfect, he said I think he's evil now. I didn't sleep last night and I haven't eaten since the day before. Can't concentrate. I'm completely lost now. Idk who I am when I'm not in love
Sending you love anon, it will be really hard in the beginning but it will get easier as time goes on. Try and stay busy