/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>96689

Life is oh so hard for an ogre. I'm really getting to the point of covering my face for the sake of others and hiding myself away. To have no friends, work from home and to be distant from family. To work in the background. My dream job is to be a s_x operator because I still crave intimacy.

I used to have smarts but those are gone too. None of my life aspirations matter. I'm skinny fat, even if I became the beauty standard, I'd still have this face. The amount of plastic surgery I need to fix the asymmetry, the buck teeth, the weak chin and large jaw, is far more than I can muster. No amount of procedures/skincare could correct the discoloration of my face. One flaw can be flattering and make a face memorable but an amalgamation of flaws isn't endearing one bit.

>>96690
But I still crave to catch someone's eye. Any one person would be enough, but it feels like love isn't a possibility for a femcel.

>>96689
I said this in the last thread before it got shut down, but since no one replied to it, I want to retype it and with more updated answers.

>when did you realize you were a femcel and how old are you now
Quarter century age. Watching Kidology’s channel on YouTube has really helped me come to terms with my involuntary celibacy and my being a femcel. She does great dissertations truly calling out the degradation of the modern sexual marketplace.

>what does being a femcel mean to you?
I’ve come to realize that after my first (and last) relationship, I’ll never find another man like I had with my first boyfriend years ago and that’s okay. I’m neurodivergent and social contact was always something I could never comprehend. I knew that I would have never been able to get any boyfriend in person because I’m so retarded at understanding social cues. I was lucky enough to get the Discord virgin moid I managed to grab LOL. And after he left me I’ll probably never find another one ever again. Even if Stacie’s and Becky’s in real life drop me platitudes all the time saying how “pretty” I am and “omg y don’t u have a bf?! :(“ I know it’s all in vain because Western men in this modern society are absolute unadulterated garbage.

>vent about celibacy
I don’t give a shit what people think, but after losing my first (and last) sexual experience with my ex boyfriend (who was also a virgin) and who didn’t marry me like he promised he would, I don’t ever want to re-enter another relationship because with my current age and this society I won’t never be as lucky to find another virgin moid again. And I would rather kill myself than be subjected to the idea of dating a man who’s not a virgin. I don’t want another woman’s sloppy seconds.

>what are your interests?
I've been trying to get into philosophy. Other than that, art, movies, and needlework. I have other interests too but this is taking up too much space lol

Can I ascended femcel post for a minute?
I used to be a regular femcel poster here and on the subreddit (rip). My theory was that my looks made me inhuman, my social awkwardness and soberness held me back, I needed plastic surgery to make friends, etc. but things have changed.

Unironically at a certain point (if you lack an apparent physical disability, are in average health, and are capable of verbal communication) confidence is the most important thing to grow. I used to angst over male tastes and would feminize myself, but I've gotten more attention from men since I stopped caring about male attention at all. It's good for your mental health to do this anyway, which was my goal. After accepting that I am what I am, I started wearing whatever I fucking wanted. This often involves borderline costumes made of baggy, masculine/men's formal wear and other goofy shit. I also forced myself to socialize until I found people who are endeared by my freak charms. (Hard but worth it) I'm loud and goofy and blunt, and I can care about others without changing myself.

Anyway, my point is that I have had men confess and flirt with me more than ever and the only conclusion is that they can sense the self love. I even dated a man for a hot minute before realizing I'm actually not into males much and just craved validation because I was a femcel growing up. I still have shitty skin and my features are unchanged, plus I'm older now. There's only one reason this can be.

Self-love is hard, especially after a life of rejection and when social skills aren't natural to you. It took me 5 years of hard work, but it's doable. You'll also come out much happier even if moids don't start to like you.
Much love to you, my sisters.

Previous Thread
>>59574

>>96695
Thank you anon. This sort of cheered me up to read, up until the part where you mentioned finding a group of people who unequivocally accept you. I will never have that. I am meant to be alone and no one will ever like me, whether as a friend or romantic partner. Some people are born in this world with an inherent charisma that makes their life a carousel of meeting new friends and simps who adore you. I have never in my life ever been adored by other people and most people just dread speaking to me. I've come to accept it and move on.

>>96694
Why didn't you wait until marriage?

>>96697
Ayrt and this was literally my mindset ~3 years ago. I made a similar post, nearly word-for-word identical to yours on this very board somewhere.
I KNOW you'll find people who will love you, anon. They will likely be just as weird as you, and also on their path to self-improvement.
There is a natural charisma that comes with confidence/self-love, even if you're spergy. Everyone is charismatic (to me). Just take care of you and be gentle with yourself first. Be your own best friend and first love.

>>96698
Lots of reasons that manipulated my mind at the time. Having practically grown up my whole life without being given much physical affirmations of love from my family. I grew up with a narcissistic unloving mother, and a stepfather (this disgusting old moid she chose to marry), who was verbally and physically abusive to me throughout my whole childhood. I would walk past him in the house and I could recount everyday he'd have something negative to say about my body or how my face looked. Coupled on top of that I was an ugly duckling kid who was friends with the type of people who befriended me out of pity, and didn't want to be seen, both publically or in private, giving me a hug or any form of platonic physical contact. So up until the time I met my virgin moid boyfriend, I basically suffered my whole life with touch depravity. When he showed physical acts of affection; such as actually holding solid unfleeting eye contact with me, would ask to hold my hand and even kiss me, I just lost it. I fell and became susceptible to carnal desire and it was as if my body was becoming autonomous from my mind. Even my ex would make a joke about it, I did a complete one-eighty from when I first met him, personality wise. It was like I was possessed by a succubus spirit.

>>96698
Also, forgot to add in post >>96700
I was in my early 20's when I met him. We were both attending college and didn't have the financial support or the means to get married. Plus his parents were sort of racist and hated me for being brown

>>96699
AYRT. Yeah, that's not going to work on me anymore. I've heard enough platitudes to last a lifetime and it's frankly all the same shit "Oh you'll find people who love you!" "I was in the same place you're in now!" I haven't had a healthy relationship that's lasted more than a year, and thanks to being raised by narcissists, I've been conditioned to only attract the worst sort of people. So I don't believe any of that shit anymore. Friendships and relationships are meant for the weak-minded so I'm good. The only time I'll ever interact with people now is if I see them as a means to an end. People are resources now, and once I've exhausted all they have to offer then they're of no use to me

>>96703
Then so it is.
I hope you can be happy and comfortable in your own way and on your own terms then, nona.

>>96694
Don't you think you're being hypocritical after having lost your virginity yourself?
Besides even if what you say is true I'm sure there are plenty of virgin moids out there, you just have to find the moids with avoidant personality disorder.
Although, maybe those virgins are disqualified in your mind because of the traits that led to them remaining virgins.

>>96886
>>96886
Like I said, I don't care if you think I sound hypocritical. I don't care what anyone thinks. I've seen diseased moids all over 4chan make elaborate plans of taking a woman's virginity to "try something fresh" and they'll even go so far as to lie about their sexual history and even venereal diseases they've caught from other people. The most I've ever done was 3rd base stuff with my one moid bf years ago, we couldn't even do PIV sex because it hurt so much for me. I feel like a virgin because of how inexperienced I truly feel when it comes to sex

>>96899
Based. Go and get that virgin moid anon

>>96899
Please leave the virgin moids to virgin women. There's not enough to go around.

>>96926
Carpenter (2002) outlined 3 frameworks for understanding virginity: gift, stigma, and process.

According to the largest study on the subject of which framework is most valid ("Has Virginity Lost Its Virtue? Relationship Stigma Associated With Being a Sexually Inexperienced Adult," Amanda Gesselman, Journal of Sexual Research, 2017), female virgins are the demographic with the least sexual interest in and most contempt for male virgins, despite male virgins having a male-normative preference level for female virgins. Thus the framework of stigma is best used to understand the claim on male virginity by virgin women. This same framework means that any act of tenancy performed on this property constitutes a generally recognizable improvement, granting a legitimate claim of ownership by accession.

In the instance of virginities previously unknown and undiscovered, right of ownership and use formally belongs to the discovering sovereign civilization. This initiating discovery is legitimized by possession and settlement.

Furthermore, disuse of rightful property on the property or in the possession of another for a reasonable time without intention to regain possession constitutes relinquishment, making the moid in question a legal abandum and subject to claim with full and entire rights as derelict and abandoned property.

We can now turn to the other available frameworks, of gift and process, to see if they also substantiate the ownership of male virgins by experienced women.

The most significant article of research regarding male virgin with experienced female couplings ("I Took His V-Card: An Exploratory Analysis of College Student Stories Involving Male Virginity Loss," Sandra L. Caron and Sarah P. Hinman, Springer 2012) shows that male virginity as process and as gift were by far the most prevalent models upheld by experienced female partners, despite stigmatic beliefs held by said males. Obviously in a civilized society the right of a male to have or to confer property ought be extremely limited, but the legitimacy of conferrence as gift is based on acquisitional rights of the giftee, and only subject to specific prior claim by right of inherited ownership, discovery, and possession. Of these, the most relevant may be right by adverse possession in the instance of an unexercised pre-existing claim. "Adverse possession" is also known as "squatter's rights," but the length of time required for ownership to transfer to a squatter may vary. We can assume in general however that most claims to a virgin by adverse possession are laid by a woman who has been squatting on that virgin for more than long enough for the claim to pass commonlaw requirements.

Male virgins belong to nonvirgin women by right of discovery, by right of gift, by right of abandonment, and by right of accession. Once the new order comes to power these rights shall be formally recognized by the state such that said ownership will be enforced through all appropriate legal channels.

>>96932
>Male virgins belong to nonvirgin women by right of discovery, by right of gift, by right of abandonment, and by right of accession.
This makes me feel like males deserve to be slaves.

>>96942
No, that feeling is called "wisdom" and it came from life itself, not from any internet post.

>>96943
I love you. I love you all.

>>96932
>Male virgins belong to nonvirgin women by right of discovery, by right of gift, by right of abandonment, and by right of accession.
Unfair

>only ever had 2 boyfriends, never had sex with any of them
>first one self-harmed, cheated on me with one of his swagfag druggie friends
>second one was distant and preferred the company of his friends over me, my clinginess pushed him away
>last time i felt love was in my early teens
>in my 20s now, still haven't even had a crush on anyone
>not too ugly, just not very mentally stable
i'd like a bf some day but no moid ever appeals to me and i appeal to no moid

do i count?

>>97401
Depends on what is your definition. I've been alone my entire life so I see everyone with even a little bit of relationship experience as a normal person.

>>97400
This. Male virgins belong to female virgins. Nonvirgin women are only allowed to have used goods.

>>97426
I don't know if you would want one. Then again, it might not be so bad.
I used to think that everyone who's a virgin past a certain age must be really ugly, but now I'm beginning to think it doesn't have all that much to do with looks. I've seen plenty of people so ugly that they make me feel good about myself, in a relationship.

>>97423
for me rather than "used goods" its more about not wanting to be compared to someone else.
Maybe I'm just paranoid but I feel that if I ever were to be in a relationship with a non-virgin, I would constantly fear that they are comparing me to their previous partners.

>>97511
For me I can't cope with thr jealousy that my bf dated other women at all. Imagining him with someone else just hurts. I wish we could have shared all of our first experiences, our first kiss,our first time having sex, etc. But he already did all that and I will never get to experience all that with him. I feel left out and I feel like a last choice.

>>97510
indeed
plus, i've known beautiful people to be virgins
life's rarely so clear cut as some people assume…

>>97511
In this case, it's his memories which are the used goods

>>97546
>>97511
For me it's more about sharing special moments and learning about each other. And also not having your partner given away that specialness to someone else. Like when most normies hate seeing sex tapes of their partner with an ex, it's just a kind of denial. It really happened. Your ex really did orgasm and make a groaning face with someone else.

>>97546
this too, if I ever were to be with a non-virgin I would always imagine them with their previous partners. The jealousy would keep increasing and I feel like one day I would start cheating on them to sort of "even the score", because I wouldn't be able to take it anymore.
I know that normies don't care about such things, but I do, and there's not much I can do about it. That's just how I am. Maybe its the christian upbringing? Although i doubt that as my parents were never extremely religious and never really enforced religion much on me. I was also an atheist ever since I was like 17. Maybe its me being self centered? as in "I was alone my entire life, so I want someone who's like me, and won't accept anyone with a normal life". Whatever it is, I can't do much about it.
I fear that the only possible futures I have are:
A: Be alone for the rest of my life, maybe learn to accept it, and die without ever feeling happiness
B: Settle for a non-virgin, gaslight myself into thinking "Im ok with this, its not their fault, its my fault", and eventually start cheating on them out of jealousy.
C: Find a virgin who's not actually the right person for me, and just be with them to not feel guilty about leaving.

Sometimes I feel like maybe I should just do it, to lower my expectations. I bet I would find someone for that just a few days after using something like tinder. If I weren't a virgin I couldn't exactly require that form my partner. But then I think about what if I were to actually find that perfect someone? The thought that I'm the one who ruined the possibilty of us ever experiencing it for the first time together would just make me feel terrible.

>>97579
That does make sense

>>97601
Well put, nona. These are my feelings exactly.

>>96921
Is there any actual way to tell? Yeah I know this is just a meme, but I wonder, is there any way to tell? Afterall if all you can go by is them saying that they are a virgin, they can just lie about it.

>>97741
I think men are more likely to lie about having had sex before than to lie about being a virgin. My bf did that lol.

>>97742
In general, yes, but if he know that you want a virgin, he would lie and say he is one, because men will always lie to their advantage.

>>97601
Even if you get a virgin bf they are all porn addicts anyway, and their brain is completely fried and dopamine receptors burnt out, so he may as well have been a manwhore all along as his brain is just as rotted as one. In fact I find virgin moids even worse than manwhores, because manwhores actually have experience with real life womens bodies and know that real women have flaws. Porn addicted virgins expect their first time to be with an irl anime girl.

>>97756
>they are all porn addicts anyway
I'm not sure if absolutely all are. I guess a lot of them are, and there's probably no such thing as a man who doesn't watch porn at all, but there's bound to be plenty normal ones too. Or at least relatively normal, because I don't think anyone past a certain age who's still a virgin, man or woman, could be described as perfectly normal person. Although maybe that's better, the more I see how normies are the more I think I'm ok with not being "normal".

>>96690
hey, dont worry about it. i can relate and i understand, but things like relationships arent all that important in life, theyre exaggerated by culture. if people dont wanna be your friend just because of how you look, then they wouldnt be very good friends to begin with anyways. even if you dont get very many friends, the ones you do have you keep close and theyll stick with you good. those friendships are gonna be stronger than most pretty people's , promise

>>96690
Perhaps its not as bad as you think it is. Your own perception of yourself may be way worse than how you look in reality. Low self esteem can do that to you.
And even so, not every man is so shallow as to be disgusted by any woman that isn't a literall perfection.

I never had a guy interested in me until very recently (I'm 23). I'm not sure if this is the right thread to post this, but has any other miner got obsessed with a man they used to be around as a kids/young teen? I still think about a kid from my grade school who walked me home once. Nobody did anything like that for me in my formative years. We were probably around 10 or 11, and I had no other interaction with him but it made me so happy. I check his Facebook sometimes and had his photo saved even though I know very well he doesn't remember me or anything. I've been getting male attention for the first time in my life in the last few months, it's nothing serious, nobody asked me to be their gf and I'm still a kissless virgin, but idk I feel like I'm mentally "taken" because I spent so much time thinking about that one guy.

>>96689
What is the model in the op picrels name again ?

I feel sorry that others had to experience me gracing them with my appearance. I always feel so shameful from my therapist, friends, people I develop crushes on, my mother. I feel she might’ve loved me more if I were more attractive and fit her beauty standards. I feel so bad for people I talk to. I just feel so nasty all the time. No amount of grooming, outfit, hygiene, makeup or hairstyle could save me.

I feel like a disgusting, gross freak all the time and I hate it. I just want to be less gross to people.

>>98198
Do you really look that bad? Maybe its just low self esteem and distorted image of oneself?
>I feel she might’ve loved me more if I were more attractive and fit her beauty standards
Do your parents look good? If so, chances aren't very high that you're much worse looking.
What do you think is your worse feature? Even If you think that all is awful, what are you most insecure about?

>>97787
This is so relatable it hurts anon :(
I too know the pain of having spent my formative years being very lonely and any attention I got from a boy then has left some sort of mental imprint on me. Although my advice: sometimes it's for the best that you never got together because the universe probably didn't intend for you to be together. Take it from someone who also had a guy like this, made the mistake of pursuing him then things got really ugly and broke off. You're just remembering him with rose-colored glasses because we had the unlucky draw of the bag of growing up with a femcel childhood. If he's good looking, he probably just furthered in looks-max and then became a plague to society of being yet another dark triad narcissist fuckboy.

>>96689
I want to kms I might be a literal incel now my body hurts its painful ahahahaha.

>>98201
>Do you really look that bad? Maybe it’s just low self esteem and distorted image of oneself?
I am just facially challenged with harsh features. Nothing that can’t be saved with fillers but I can’t afford those. My image of self was ruined when a boy ranked me the ugliest of all the girls in the class. That was almost 10 years ago but it put me in a depression and I still feel shitty about my looks. This in addition to my friends being randomly asked out depressed me. I’m not into hookup culture and do care to be with those particular guys but I wish a guy was attracted to me. It also doesn’t help that I look unapproachable due to my harsh features. Honestly, I think I developed an rbf so others wouldn’t mess with me growing up but now I want to make connects with others but it’s very hard to.
>Do your parents look good? If so, chances aren't very high that you're much worse looking.
No, lmao. My parents are very average but I got the worst features of both. My mom’s crooked teeth (I got braces but they’re still crooked from the side) as well as a weird mix of both their faces (baby face from dad) and my mom’s sharp face and weak chin.
>What do you think is your worse feature? Even If you think that all is awful, what are you most insecure about?
My worst feature is easily my facial structure and my side profile. However, nothing physical is what I’m most insecure about. It’s how repulsed other react around me and that I feel like no one could ever develop a crush on me or find me attractive. No one has ever complimented me for my looks. How no one ever wants to befriend me or date me. I know a self-esteem this low can be dangerous so I try to keep to my self usually so I don’t get taken advantage of by anyone.!

>>98229
It’s also the realization that I am not the beautiful, quirky princess in all of the media I consumed and literature I read growing up. I’m the side character in my own life. That I will never be a man’s dream girl, the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with, and that he’ll secretly be thinking about the one that got away or his ideal type.

>>98229
>My image of self was ruined when a boy ranked me the ugliest of all the girls in the class
That's really terrible, no wonder you still feel this way. People really underestimate how much bullying can affect someone later in life.
I know me saying this won't help in any way, but maybe you've changed a lot since that and opinion of some dumb teen shouldn't worry you anymore? I used to be disgusting throughout most of my teenage years, so if someone would rank me as the ugliest in the class I wouldn't even argue with that assesment. And now I consider myself pretty good looking. When I look at my pictures from when I was like 16-18, its hard to believe that the person in the image is really me, that's how much I changed. Maybe its the same for you, and it's just that trauma from being humiliated back then that makes you think so little of yourself?
>weird mix of both their faces (baby face from dad) and my mom’s sharp face and weak chin.
Obviousely I won't ask you to post pictures, because I myself would't do that. But It honestly doesn't sound that bad. Baby face is cute, and I thought its mostly men who worry about chin not being chad enough. Unless its cartoonishly receeded it doesn't sound like something you should worry about all that much.
>It’s how repulsed other react around me
Loneliness can change your perception of others. I speak form experience. No matter how much I try to rationalise it, whenever someone smiles while looking at me I immediately assume that they're mocking me. Maybe you're just imagining people acting worse than they do like I do. Do you have any particular examples of people being repulsed by you?

>I’m the side character in my own life. That I will never be a man’s dream girl, the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with, and that he’ll secretly be thinking about the one that got away or his ideal type.
this hurts

>>98232
Thanks, nona. I was depressed when I posted this. I’ve regained the will to live and started looking at pictures of models who resemble me.

Everyone deserves love and no one deserves it any more than me. I don’t judge anyone for their looks. Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. I suppose I can take these life lessons and treat others with kindness to help others feel less lonely in this world.

I want to post more pictures of myself online to become more accustomed to my face. A nice smile is really attractive so I’ll try to smile more :) <3

>>98234
>I want to post more pictures of myself online to become more accustomed to my face
I think I should do that as well. The idea of posting images of myself still scares me. But I guess its better than it was before when I was scared of even having pictures of myself regardless of whether I show them to anyone or not.

>>96689
I actually think it might be over for me. My physical health has been deteriorating I don't think I can marry and start a family like this. Maybe I can if I am able to get help for it and I'm just overexaggerating but if I can't and it just makes things even more bothersome, well being alone make sense for me because I just exist in my thoughts anyway and have trouble imagining myself with another person so I'll just stay with cute 2D boys. I'm still going to try but, you know if it doesn't work out… Lols ^_^.

>>98276
>I actually think it might be over for me. My physical health has been deteriorating I don't think I can marry and start a family like this.
This is what I'm afraid most and what gives the most anxiety. That at some point it will just be too late for me.
I can't help but to worry that either my health will go down or that I'll simply be too old to find anyone.
>well being alone make sense for me because I just exist in my thoughts anyway and have trouble imagining myself with another person
Same tbh. Sometimes I think that maybe I would be better off alone, but still, being alone hurts. I can't really imagine myself in a relationship either, but its probably due to inexperience since I never was in one.