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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Relationship General #3 Anonymous 97456

Questions, experiences, advice, venting, about romance, love, potential partners.
Old thread reached bump limit: >>84469

Anonymous 97461


Gonna ask it again here then.
Genuine question for all experienced users. How do you expertly break up and move on from a long-term girlfriend/boyfriend when it's time to split? Do you block and mass-delete any remnant of your relationship? How do you stop yourself from changing your mind and crawling back to the ex? What is good prevention from any emotional pain?

Anonymous 97477

Just start being distant and start doing little, annoying things. Eventually your partner will stop trying to fix things. You can just speedrun bad marriage vibes, then you can cut things off painlessly once they're sick of you, or at least make them not really invested in the whole thing enough that you can break up and neither of you will care.

Anonymous 97519

For something long term i wouldnt recommend ghosting or blocking, just a long mature talk

Anonymous 97770

Be very clinical and matter-of-fact about it. Tell them the relationship isn't working for you, explain why, be specific.

Avoid this shit >>97477

Put yourself in his or her shoes - if they weren't happy and wanted to end things, would you want them to just tell you and be mature about it, or would you want them to drag it out for weeks or months trying to annoy you or bait you into ending it for them?

Anonymous 97782

My anxious attachment style fucking ruins everything.

Anonymous 97900


took the words right out of my mouth. a relationship takes two. it can only do good when you assess the situation and ongoings from both ends, not only yours

Anonymous 97916

Kind of liked this guy
He added me to instagram from 4chan and eventually we started talking on Snapchat.
Today he messages me this “ Hey im probably not going to respond to u as much over the next few weeks” “ Im gonna have to delete Snapchat just cause of college work”
He’s totally bullshitting me, isn’t he?

Anonymous 97922

Maybe ask him if there is a way you contact him elsewhere, if he doesn't give an email, discord, or phone number then maybe he is bullshitting you but idk, try first.

Anonymous 97927


I don’t really know
We leave in different time zones and I know a couple of days ago he woke up late for his alarm…so maybe I’m just distracting him too much and he needs to focus on his school work…?
I didn’t really ask anything.. I just went full Pearl and asked if I did something wrong and he hasn’t answered and I think he may be asleep but idk :/

Anonymous 97934

>He added me to instagram from 4chan
>He’s totally bullshitting me, isn’t he?
Yeah, what the fuck does one thing have to with another. Sounds like a great opportunity for you to stop talking to him without notice.

Anonymous 97935

I'm of the opinion that he could very easily just offer you an alternative contact right away. That is, if he wanted to.

Anonymous 97939

How do I know if my bf is a narcissist™ or displeased with the relationship or otherwise temporarily giving it lower priority?

He's always brownnosing new acquaintances and treating old boring friends like crap. I can't help but feel jealous since he's always got one new female friend he's paying a ton of attention to. He'll come home and say he's tired and needs "time alone" which means a 6 hour discord call with the New Friends who get to hear his feminist ally/party boy/pro gamer voice that he's always adjusting to make the best impression. It's a little sickening to me how hard he's posing but I guess people have trouble being sincere with those they don't know well.

He invites me to all the parties with the New People but while I'm there he may outright pretend I don't exist and stare at the new hot girl the whole night. I hate those parties but I go because I'm jealous and scared of what he might do if I don't watch him. That's on me though, not on him.

And while I get insecure about the New Hot Girl he never actually does anything with her and just discards her for a new one when he gets bored. I've been living with him for years, I don't know why I feel so insecure and threatened. How do I know if this is all inside my head and I need to get a grip, or if he's shitty or just different from me?

Anonymous 97944

>He's always brownnosing new acquaintances and treating old boring friends like crap.
That's one of the bigger redflags for narcissism. The normal psychological order for the human male is to overvalue close mates / bros due to identifying with their male band as something close to a cross between a sports team, political organization and a family. The narcissist inverts this social order due to the overvaluation of Primary Narcissistic Supply which is affirmation that seems to come from the world itself, the adulation of crowds, versus Secondary Narcissistic Supply which comes from a specific person whose needs, values and vulnerabilities have been made known to the narcissist. The narcissist sees sources of secondary supply in terms of "what can you do for me," but sees primary supply as "what do I mean and how valuable am I, to everyone, forever," an ultimate ego trip.

Anonymous 97946


>a narcissist™ or displeased with the relationship or otherwise temporarily giving it lower priority

Anonymous 97948

>Dating a pisscord user…
nona, run pls…

Anonymous 97963

That felt bad to read. So if he really is one and I want to stay I'll be stuck in this dynamic forever, feeling used and B-listed and watching him bend over backwards kissing fresh ass while ignoring those I thought were his loved ones.
But there's really no way to find out whether he is like that, is there? I remember reading somewhere that a narcissist may see narcissism as a positive and not deny it if asked outright but I've been scared to bring it up.

>what do I mean and how valuable am I

>what can you do for me
It's funny that I can pinpoint when I dropped from the primary group into the secondary. It's been so long and I'm still constantly surprised with how little he cares about my good opinion, and how much about what I'm doing for him.

Well if he was just throwing a fit he might eventually bounce back from it

It's hard to find millennials who don't use social media. Is Discord really worse than Instagram/Snapchat/Tiktok? At least he isn't a coomer

Anonymous 98055

He messaged me on instagram again.. idk I told him I finished this book I was reading and he asked me what it was about. So before I went on the spill. I asked if he actually cared or if he was just being nice and he said both. I use to try to tell my ex about books I was reading and he would tell me he wasn’t interested in it before I even finished my first sentence or just kind of shit on it. So it feels kind of nice for someone to listen even if he may just be pretending.
Not every guy from 4chan is that bad it kind of depends on the board

Anonymous 98062

how else to meet decent guys?
only ones who still go out irl are all toxic assholes

Anonymous 98095

How do I find an unvaxxed guy?

Anonymous 98097

Do you think that friendship is able to survive when one is pretty much in love with the other? I don't want to lose our friendship but sometimes it hurts to know we never will be together.

Anonymous 98103

Try mental hospitals, white power marches or religious cults.

Anonymous 98117


When the 6/10 male is begging you to come over to have sex but you just matched with the 10/10 masc lesbian

Anonymous 98124

If you get to know somebody with similar values to you they probably won't have taken the untested medical trial. It's becoming acceptable to admit you still haven't had one and are fine so a good guy might be willing to admit it to you.

I still said no to the juice when my job was putting pressure on me, if enough people just say no then pushing stuff like the vax won't be so bad. They can't fire everybody. This works with many types of attempts to cancel people.


Anonymous 98129

Are you a troon?

Anonymous 98132

Nta but I know real weeb women who like this character.
Not every woman nor every lesbian is the pinnacle of radfem.
Congrats, anon!

Anonymous 98153

No lol just not a radical feminist like chillll
Thank you
Sheeeessss so cute

Anonymous 98161

I would just like to know what happened to dating. The nicest a guy has been to me all month and I met him from 4chan. Wtf?!?
Like he called me grand and cute and he’s not hideous, he’s actually like really hot. When I said I didn’t wanna send nudes he didn’t try to push me like normie guys do. He didn’t get weirded out when I said I wanted to be his trad wife and just played along. Genuinely asked me about the book I was reading. How has normal dating become so watered down that social outcasts are better to date?

Anonymous 98183

>has normal dating become so watered down that social outcasts are better to date?
That's an interesting thought

Anonymous 98260


I've reconnected with an old friend and apart from the first time we hung out where he got very drunk and tried kissing me after I drove him home things have been peachy. He's introduced me to his group which are a good bunch. The last gath we were at though we spoke in private for a bit and he told me that a lot of the group thinks we're going out or at least are crushing on each other. I've made it clear that we're friends and he's told me he knows that there's nothing more than that, but he's frustrated that everyone else doesn't get it and that a few of the guys are trying to get him to admit it to them or to make a move on me. No one's said anything to me other than one of the other girls telling me that a different guy was into me.
Anyway, I'm not looking for anything at all at the moment. I'm very happy with where I am and do believe that right time right place there will be something that I want to pursue but that's not right now. EXCEPT UNTIL LAST NIGHT where I had a very cuddly and sensual dream involving my old friend. Once it ended my half-asleep self thought we could just start being FWB which I simultaneously don't want but also… maybe??? I think I'm just really touch starved, like I don't want a sexual relationship with anyone but I would actually kill to hold or be held

Anonymous 98275


Buckle up, can someone please tell me if I'm the shitty whore in this situation?:

I was in a 1 year and a half relationship from age 17 to 18 with a really immature moid who was sweet at first. I ended up learning that he lies about literally everything, big or small, its actually disgusting. He'd always gaslight me and make me feel like shit later on and id eat it up because I was vulnerable and loved him. He'd always yell at me when id have any constructive criticism, would call me a bitch, tell me to "shut the fuck up" and would call me annoying in front of his friends. Hed go as far as telling me no one else would love me for how I act, even though I didn't do anything and was extremely suicidal during those times. He told all his friends about my really personal issues and told them that I love him so much that he could cheat on me and id still stay with him. Spoiler: He cheated on me for a year with a girl online, and when I found out he lied about it being a "forced" relationship with them. I don't know how I believed that, I was so stupid lol. They sent each other nudes and so many sexts, it's gross. I found out because the girl personally dmed me. Fun.
He also told his friends that all he got out of me was my virginity, and virgin girls are so hard to come by nowadays. (ew????)

He had a guy best friend who was also my long-time friend (which I had a tiny thing with a long time ago when we were younger), and towards the end my own boyfriend didn't even want to spend time with me, so he'd just send me to his best friend so that we'd hang out together 1 on 1.

I was treated so badly by my boyfriend that I ended up falling for his best friend, who's the sweetest guy I've ever met. I never acted on it, and ended up just breaking up with my boyfriend after getting a hold of myself mentally. My boyfriend (well, now ex) found out I liked his best friend and started treating his best friend like shit even if he didn't do anything lol. It got really bad (he was getting stalked at night by him and he even keyed his car), so his best friend cut him off.

We're now dating (me and the best friend), and it's the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. Everyone's calling me a bitch for jumping to his best friend, but my ex was so bad that I don't care. No one knows how I was treated during the relationship, I hate it here. Fuck immature ego-fuelled men.

Anonymous 98277

Not at all, you didn't do anything wrong. Their opinions aren't important anyway so don't pay mind to them.

Anonymous 98280

Yolo, go for it. Tell the guy you're a bit interested and want to take it slow to see how you handle it. If he's too pushy gtfo though, there's better guys out there, trust me.

Anonymous 98281


My recommendation is to cut everyone calling you a bitch out of your life.

You are young now and still have a big social circle, but when you grow older, the circle will shrink. It is best to decide now who are real friends and who are "friends".

Cut the "friends" out of your life. You don't need sociopaths throwing banana peels in your way.

Anonymous 98292

I mean if relationships and actual dating isn’t the norm anymore does that mean it becomes the norm for the ostracized?

Anonymous 98318

as long as you didnt act on it while u were in a relationship youre fine. if someones being shitty to you its their fault if you end up falling for someone else.
i had a rly similar situation but flipped where i was lonely after a breakup and started crushing on this guy who i later found out had a gf. she ignored him constantly and always stood him up until they broke up, i got drunk and told him i liked him like 3 days later and we ended up together but now his ex who i was also kinda friends with wont talk to me anymore and has ghosted me everywhere

Anonymous 98320

i cant help but feel like im settling but my current bf is by far the best bf ive ever had. wtf is wrong with me?
hes not the hottest guy ive ever dated and were around the same height which i think are 2 big reasons but hes the only guy ive dated thats not a misogynistic coomer
ive almost left him for multiple guys at this point but i never get the confidence to cut off what i have.

Anonymous 98354

How do you justify leaving him for someone else in those moments that you almost have? Are his physical traits the only reasons? Also, how long have you been dating him? It seems like a decently common thought for those who have just moved past the honeymoon phase.

Anonymous 98357

were coming up on 3 years and its mostly off a bunch of little things that add up to make me feel less confident in the relationship. then ill meet a new person who prolly has the same or just different problems that i havent found out yet and they seem more palletable is all. he just seems rly disconnected sometimes like he'll say he cares abt me but its clear what he values when it comes down to making any sacrifices, also hes kind of a bum and ive been supporting him off whatever money i make online for the majority of our relationship. he also gets rly childish when i try to like push him on any of these things, he will just shut down and look at the floor and only give 1 word responses. i just get scared cuz i felt like i wasnt worthy of love for a while and im scared if i cut off the one guy who i think really does love me i wont ever find that again. also he like doesnt want kids with me which i really do and i havent been able to change his mind on it yet.
idk i just keep getting scared that if i keep waiting for him to fix all my problems with him and he never does it will be too late for me to find someone else, i turned 25 not too long ago and ppl are already calling me old often and i feel gross and worthless

Anonymous 98358

rofl you are not old. I'm turning 31 and I am not old. But I do wish I'd done more in my 20s to have my shit figured out by 30…so if you think 30 is old, youve got 5 long years to figure out if this guy is the one.

And I wouldn't like if my partner always shut down and acted childish…communication is so important

Anonymous 98359

yeah its prolly my biggest problem with him, 90% of our arguments are either him asserting something he thinks as the truth even if i know or have evidence of him being wrong, or shutting down completely like that. i dont know what to when when he gets like that, i always seem to have this issue with my bfs too, i broke up with my ex because he was too childish. i started to think maybe it was me being too harsh because of how often i have this issue with them but it still seems justified to me rn.
and i know im not old, im sry if i made you feel bad abt it, im just still in college as i had to take some time off when i moved across the country so im surrounded by 20 year olds who gasp when they hear my age and tell me things like "i dont look my age" when im literally 3 years older than them or something lol

Anonymous 98372

>has normal dating become so watered down that social outcasts are better to date?
It's a nice thought - that there could be some secret treasure trove of sweet guys just waiting to be discovered, but I don't think it's real. The 'good men' haven't gone anywhere, they're not in hiding, they're not nervously sitting around hoping to be noticed, they're just gone. Plane and simple.

Anonymous 98373

Bf is sad I don't enjoy video games

Anonymous 98374

some sweet guys are single just because they're shy. they're more common than you think

Anonymous 98384

Not common enough for me to find one.

Anonymous 98386

>there's sweet single guys everywhere! they're all just shy!
i want to believe
this - even if these guys are out there and even if they're common, how would you even find these guys if they're too shy/anxious/whatever to go out after you?

Anonymous 98390

Is it abuse if my bf only hits me with soft objects…? Like tonight he got mad at me and hit me with a stuffed animal a bunch across my face and head and then threw it but was still mad so he pulled the pillow that was underneath me and started hitting me with that. I know it doesn’t hurt but he hits me as hard as he can and it kind of stuns me.
All I did was get disappointed that he didn’t wanna have sex with me. (He said it’s because he didn’t feel good but I think he’s just lying but I didn’t say that. I just got like a sad tone of voice and it just like triggered him)

Anonymous 98391

I genuinely don’t understand what I did wrong. He told me he hated me a bunch and now he’s crying and saying how I don’t love him. All I did was say okay bunch and tell him not to break my shit when he punched the wall.

Anonymous 98392

He probably doesn't want to actually hurt you but he clearly lacks the self control to not freak out and attack people. He hasn't hurt you yet but he might hurt you in the future.

Anonymous 98394

Idk he’s kind of really cold and mean like he’s super nice maybe 25% of the time
He wouldn’t even let me come to bed. I tried and he said he wasn’t gonna do this makeup shit rn and I said I was just coming to bed. To which he replied he was gonna sleep on the couch then. But I knew if he did that when he woke up uncomfortable that was also gonna be my fault so I guess I’m just gonna sleep on the couch:/ so that’s cool. I didn’t do anything or say anything. I just said okay a bunch and that I was disappointed and he blew up on me cause I didn’t believe him and blah blah. He’s right I don’t because I think he’s a narcissist and lies about that kind of stuff to get out of things he doesn’t wanna do and to get attention. But I didn’t say that I didn’t even hint at it. I just said okay that’s fine.

Anonymous 98396

That's like asking if it's abuse if they don't leave a mark.
Abuse isn't just physical, it's mental too - even if it doesn't hurt if it makes you scared of him and makes you feel unsafe then yes, it's abuse.
He sounds like a real piece of shit, not gonna lie nona.

Anonymous 98397

You can tell it makes you feel bad and that he has repressed anger. So yeah, this can be considered as abuse.
I would be careful since that type of behavior can lead to serious physical abuse.
If you don't feel like leaving him, at least try to make him go to therapy.

Anonymous 98400

even if you think its not this is still a sign of problems that prolly wont just go away. its just a matter of time before he gets mad enough to hit you with something harder, just dont go too easy on him if he does ok?
also scrotes are super dense so you have to be rly direct and upfront with them, when you do stuff like sound sad or just say okay a bunch they just get even angrier as they cant figure out how you feel because they have no emotional intelligence

Anonymous 98405

silly billy _3.jpg

Here to give some hope and advice lol…
I was in a 2-year relationship with a guy similar to >>98357
I kept thinking I won't find a better guy out there so I should settle with what I have. I thought I was the problem and should love him for his flaws. (Spoiler, they were the problem).

I'm now in my 20s, if I want to get married around 25, this is the guy. However, I also kept thinking that I deserved more than a childish insecure bum. Although he is sweet, his flaws outweighed everything. Be careful not to stay with a guy that starts taking you for granted and falls into the "old man hates his wife" stage. If it's bad right now, imagine how bad all their insecurities and issues will get in 20 years!!! Don't get blinded by a few moments of kindness, any guy can be nice, but not all guys can be husband material. So many insecure guys get into relationships and stop working on themselves because they think they've achieved perfection by getting a gf (and if she's way hotter than him, it's a HUGE ego boost… which is bad! They'll stay a manlet forever). Because of that, when you try communicating with them about a problem you guys are going through, they most likely won't listen and take it personally. Even better: They might promise to change and fix the issue, but never actually do, hence the cycle of misery continues.

Of course start by talking this out and communicating how you feel every time. Relationships aren't easy, and if you truly want to save it fixing problems is the way to go. But again, as I said, if it's all bark no bite, RUN.

Someone told me that once you're dating in your 20s, make a list of everything you want in a guy and don't accept anything less. I think this'll help you dodge being blinded by the honeymoon phase. The clock is ticking, there's no time to waste by having shitty long-term relationships. It seems farfetched, but I'm currently in a relationship and I'm being super critical of the guy I'm dating. So far he's perfect and hit everything on my checklist. I'm super excited to see how this goes in the long term. I literally started dating him right after breaking up with my trash bf, so yes, you can find someone better. I wish someone told me this sooner. Even if this doesn't end up lasting, Im still extremely glad I left my ex.

ps: I think young adult relationships are always like this. Usually, the woman ends up outgrowing the guy because our taste changes once we go from teen to adult. Some guys really need a break up to change and grow up sadly. Don't feel bad for thinking you deserve better, you most likely do.

Anonymous 98409

>Someone told me that once you're dating in your 20s, make a list of everything you want in a guy and don't accept anything less.
What's on your list?

Anonymous 98411

>and i havent been able to change his mind on it yet
Sorry to be a bummer but if someone doesn't want to have kids even if you somehow force them to or convince them with time most probably they won't be a good parent and you will be left with all the job around the kid.

Anonymous 98412

He’s making me literally go insane like I feel fucking crazy. Like he pushes me to this angry point and I wanna just rip my hair out. Then acts like this abused puppy. Like I asked him to save me some water in my bottle. Which turned into a literal thing. About how I think he’s a selfish asshole and forces me to apologize to him. Which wasn’t good enough so I had to say sorry again and again. Then he still just kept going and finally I just screamed for him to shut up. It was water. It wasn’t a big deal. I wasn’t insinuating anything. I just wanted to make sure I had some water left. I wanna cry I’m so frustrated. Like did I do something wrong by asking that?

Anonymous 98413

At this point I don’t wanna another bf, I don’t want anything. I just wanna be alone. I literally daydream about living in a big apartment all by myself and taking care of myself and I don’t have to tip toe around anymore. I don’t have to hold my breath every time I say or do anything. I can finally just breath and not feel so crazy all the time.

Anonymous 98414

And the worst thing is a say something like save me water and then he will say the most vile things to me when he’s angry and never really apologizes and just says he stands by it because he had a right to be angry.

Anonymous 98419

Uh… I don’t think whether you did anything wrong is the question here. Even if you did something ‘wrong,’ he should communicate that to you in a mature way as opposed to forcing you to apologize to him over and over. A healthy person wouldn’t react that way to anything. I understand if he was mad or annoyed, but you can express that in many ways besides hitting someone with a stuffed toy or throwing a fit about it. It’s your relationship, but personally I wouldn’t put up with something like that.

Anonymous 98422


I mean it depends on your own personal needs, and this is from my own personal dating experience. I don't really have a list of things I want in a guy, but the second I see a red flag I'll skedaddle lol

>relatively attractive

>thoughtful/can read between the lines (my ex absolutely couldn't, I literally had to explain to him how to properly love me and even at that he couldn't. If you have to basically date yourself while in a relationship, run lol)
>isn't greedy/stingy towards me (I won't force him to pay for my meals/things, and frankly I'll feel bad if he always does, but I just want to see early on that he's willing to support me in the future)
>won't be pushy on anything sex related
>just generally a gentleman, I'm really into that. Past guys I've dated wouldn't even hold the door for me (whilst even strangers would)
>he does what he says he will. so many men are all bark no bite, so don't fall for his swoons and observe him in the first few months.
>absolutely no gaslighting/projecting/etc… we're becoming adults, mature conversations are the way to go. I've noticed a lot of insecure men do this, and usually it just gets worse with time. Don't feel bad for them, people shouldn't date in the first place if they can't love themselves first. They need their time alone first. Usually a break up helps them wake up and work on themselves both mentally/physically. They'll literally project their insecurities onto you and gaslight you by making YOU the issue, when you never were. (cough cough >>98412 pls move on there's better out there I swear to you on my life. If you think you can't find better, just work on yourself until love comes along. This guy is giving u HIS issues that'll take years to repair)
>responsible!! With money, his job, everything!!! this is literally the bare minimum for me. My ex lied about having money (the same amount as me), then I found out he was actually in crippling DEBT. Thats not a good partner to marry!!!
>absolutely NO lying. Unless its teasing, I want none!!! for me its a given bc my ex was a pathological liar, but if im planning on spending my life with someone, I there to be only honestly between us. Trust is so so important. Trust and respect go hand in hand for me. If you continue lying to me, i'll lose all my respect for you, and you cant date someone who you don't respect.
>they have to have similar humor to me
>respectable hobbies (if ur playing a loli character on genshin impact every night while being a grown ass man irl, pls rethink your life)
>no porn, or to an absolute minimum (and nothing weird. no hentai!!!). My ex had a porn addiction and they lied to me about it. Turns out he ended up getting ed, and so did all his friends (who watch hentai nonestop). bc of porn, he couldn't even have real sex. his loss
>GENUINELY worries for me. In the past guys will tell me they care so much for me etc, but do nothing to actually show it. as I said, all bark no bite. I want actions over words! (cough, if he says he cares but doesn't do anything to show it, he probably doesn't >>98357)

I could go on but for me, these are a bare minimum. I've been pretty lucky in my dating life, so I don't think I'm being picky.

Anonymous 98423

i forgot one of the most important things for me lol I'm an extreme clean freak mixed with ocd but I think this stands for everyone anyways:

>he has to be able to take care of himself… health, hygiene, clean room (messy is ok, but if there's dust and molding food everywhere pls get help)…i want to be his girlfriend, not his mother. and I'm not his wife yet. it's his job to clean himself and have his shit together. imagine someday you want to marry this man and have kids. who will take care of you and chores in the house? clearly he wont if he cant do any of these. super unreliable.

just keep in mind any flaw they have right now and don't try to fix no matter your pleas, will only get worse with time. don't date a man stuck in his teens.

Anonymous 98427

Found out that I’m pregnant today. Before that I was telling my boyfriend I missed my period and shit. I couldn’t tell if he was joking when he said I would be a great mother. A single mother. When I told him I was pregnant he fake punched my uterus and asked when’s baby killing time. I booked an appointment for an abortion soon. I feel all over the place.

Anonymous 98429

Im so fucking sorry this happened to you. At least lesson learned, dump his ass. Whether its a joke or not, that's the worst way he could've handled it. I don't know how old you are but you'll get through it. Im sorry you have to go through this with such an immature partner at your side. Make him pay for everything and dump him. If he declines tell his parents or scare him by saying he'll be forced to pay for the baby's needs if you keep it.

Anonymous 98432

yea. He is not handling it well. I love him so much. But he’s a selfish fucking prick. I shouldn’t cry over a man so much. Yet here I am still head over heels as he’s slowly breaking me down. I’m scared to tell his mom because I know damn well she would get really excited for the news, but her own son doesn’t want it, and that would really hurt her (I love that woman so much). He keeps repeating to me that if women have the choice to have an abortion, men also have the choice to abandon their baby mama and kid.

Anonymous 98434

then he should've worn protection :) he chose to cum in you, you didnt choose to fertilize his mistake!!

Anonymous 98449


I love my boyfriend soooooo much!!!! I’m in class right now and all I can think about is him. He’s so cute, sweet, kind, handsome, lovely, and overall amazing. He has the cuuuutest smile and the most beautiful voice to fall alseep to. He puts in his all to make me happy and I try to do the same for him back. I love the way he always makes me feel so safe with him. He’s so comfy to be around too and I wish I could just kiss him right now. I hope we get married as soon as we can :3

Anonymous 98515

I love my bf but sometimes living with him drives me crazy. Im a huge people pleaser and I always feel like I'm bending over backwards to help people when they need it but I rarely get the same treatment in return, even with my bf.
Recently hes been doing this thing where if I'm ever doing something like for example cooking for him and its "my turn" or whatever, I do all of the prep, cooking, and cleanup as I should. But when its "his turn" which is basically never as its like pulling teeth to get him to do something, but even when he actually goes to cook, he wants to split it all 50/50 and I end up doing most of the work while he sits on his phone or something.
Its the same with like any chore in the house, he just puts it off until I do it and if I ask him to do it for me he cries and moans until I help him by doing 90% of it for him

Anonymous 98523

>Met this guy from 4chan
>Kinda of like him, he lives really far away tho
>we talk every day but he’s busy with school I guess.
>I just kinda of get the feeling he doesn’t like me the same way
>time to never speak to him again:/
I just can’t deal with being hurt or coming of too clingy or anything so yeah I’m just not gonna talk to him again. I don’t get crushes often and it’s kind of a big deal when I do. But he’s probably not very in to me and probably only talks to me cause he can’t girls around him. It is what it is I guess. There’s plenty of guys around me who want me or just guys in general. I just really wanted him.

Anonymous 98524

Don't sabotage yourself.

Anonymous 98525


I just don’t think he likes me the same way. Like he thinks I’m hot but he doesn’t like think about me ya know? I feel so dumb

Anonymous 98532


>fall deeply in love with the internet moid
>lives nearby
>date for a few months
>i think its good and the feeling is mutual
>break up
>see his reddit account where he has made a post detailing how he never felt love for me
>says only his abusive ex from several has ever made him feel love and he hasn't felt it since
>want to die because of the internet moid

when we initially broke up he said it was due to the distance and his schedule being busy from and that he wanted to remain friends for now. i was stupid enough to believe this until i saw the post. it's strange because he was extremely kind to me and even told me he loved me at one point. i don't know how to cope. i think about him constantly now and i have been crying for days. literally have never met a man like him before, he was perfect to me. he wasn't a perfect person but to me he was ideal. i wish i could have made him love me lol.

how do i cope

Anonymous 98534

Make a Reddit burner account, screenshot every time he said he loved you, make it into a collage, then reply to his Reddit post with the collage image along with "You are a liar at best and a monster at worst. You don't deserve happiness, (his real name)."

Anonymous 98536

>He keeps repeating to me that if women have the choice to have an abortion, men also have the choice to abandon their baby mama and kid.
They made abortion illegal again where I live, so I would love to know his bastard thoughts on such a ruling. Not even a choice for me so I don't fuck men and it's literally their own fault they get no sex.

Anonymous 98628

I'm in a homeless shelter right now and it's all full of boomer men who smell like stale beer and meth grannies except for me and a small handful of others. I made friends with two guys who were friends before I got here and the cute one keeps giving me mixed signals. Like he'll tell me I'm pretty or beautiful sometimes and kinda seems like he's flirting over text messages but in person doesn't like to make eye contact and seems triggered by me getting too close to him. I talked to his friend today about it, and apparently his friend tried to play cupid and told him to make a move on me which seemed to piss him off and now he's avoiding both of us. His friend and I were smoking outside afterward and I said "I guess that's rejection, right?" to which he replied "no, he's full of shit, he's into you 100% but a little shy"

What do you do in a scenario where you like a guy but it's 50/50 whether he likes you back, s? His friend told me to text him "hotel?" and wait for a response which sounded funny but I learned the hard way as an awkward middle schooler to not make moves on a guy unless you're 100% positive he's into you.

Anonymous 98637

>literally considering dating someone in a homeless shelter

Anonymous 98638

We both have the exact same story how we got here: dysfunctional autistic retards who got hooked on meth and were disowned by our whole families that don't care that we're clean. I'm in no position to feel superior to anyone here, and our story could be like the beginning of that one Tracy Chapman song "fast car", where two young homeless people help each other build themselves back to the top and fall in love along the way. He did mention a couple days ago that he's getting his driver's license soon and unlike the guy in the song actually has a full time job aha..

Anonymous 98639


how to know if your relationship has simply become comfortable (coming on a year soon) or if you are settling. i’m 21 about to be 22 and while i’m content with my boyfriend and he is perfect on paper.. i can’t help but have the slight feeling its only working so well out of convenience and comfort… i’m aware this is a selfish thing to ponder..

Anonymous 98654

could you explain a little bit more? I'm not sure what exactly you're asking nona

>i can’t help but have the slight feeling its only working so well out of convenience and comfort

Would you rather have it not be working well? From what Im reading it just sounds like you've finally found someone to date who isn't causing problems and you aren't used to it. Unless theres more to it…?

Anonymous 98656

i've felt this way before and still regret today leaving who i thought i was settling with. but every situation is different. you say that he's perfect on paper but you're scared that you're settling. what about him is imperfect off paper that is leading you to believe that? it's easy to confuse compromising with settling. have you brought this feeling up to him?

Anonymous 98671

yeah i was going to mention that maybe i'm not used to stability/being with someone with such pure intentions. >>98656 i think another factor is that he is simply not what i had envisioned my future partner to look or be like… i suppose its only vanity standards he doesn't meet. and i wish he was funnier.. i don't recall the last time he's made me laugh…..at all… ever? but he is kind and generous and shows humility and is pretty reserved and responsible. sigh idk.

Anonymous 98673

what did you envision your future partner to look/act/be like? how would you describe your current partner in comparison? its helpful for me sometimes to make an actual pros and cons list. what is he lacking that makes you feel like he is unsuitable to be a long-term partner? are you unhappy in the relationship sexually and/or emotionally? and do you think these emotions that you are feeling in the present could be the result of an outside force?

Anonymous 98675

i feel shallow saying my bf doesn't fit what i had envisioned looks wise. butttt, for the sake of comparison.. i really wanted a skinny, awkwardly tall guy.. at least 5'10? that was my main wish look wise. my ex though was 5'10 or 5'11 and a bit chubbier and i didn't ever feel like i was lacking these ~skinny lanky bf feels~.. i wanted someone who was a music nerd like me nd liked a few niche artists.. someone who was somewhat into philosophy or at least pondered topics on a semi-philosophical level..also really wanted someone funny.. funny>looks. my current partner is 5'9 and has a semi athletic build. while he acts "up to par" with what i had envisioned in my ideal partner, he is not very funny.. like .. at all?? idk. i don't think he has ever made me laugh at all actually. he is quite bland. and he does not have much interest in music. he listens to old classic boomer hits………agggh. i mean he is suitable to be a long-term partner in the sense that he is legit husband material. but god i can't put my finger on what it is the relationship is lacking. i've been sexually unhappy in basically every relationship i've been in because im more attracted to girls sexually and im on an SRNI. emotionally in terms of the relationship, im content. i wouldn't say im HAPPY? happy seems a bit unachievable. i will say that i haven't posted him on social media just bc of how non ideal he looks compared to anyone i've ever been with. god i know that's shitty. but thinking back i'd post my ex with no hesitation just out of admiring him. but i just could not do that with my current bf. possibly he is just too normie. but he has a strict career and i don't think he can grow his hair out or do much to his look. social media isn't a big deal but i know it's bothered him a bit i haven't posted him once in the year we've been together…

Anonymous 98676


Is he really that ugly that you're scared to post him over the entire year you've been together?

Anonymous 98677

orrr you could just meme each other into doing meth again. if you want to live the life of a functional person you should hang out with functional people. who even introduced you to meth? was it a moid?

Anonymous 98679

your ideal bf is literally my bf, but alas he’s a brokie. he still pays for literally everything though because I’ve gotten to the point where I just can’t be convinced that a moid loves me unless they lose something materially by being with me

Anonymous 98680

im not saying that you're invalid for thinking these things, but it really seems to me as an outsider to this situation that you're trying to find every possible reason besides yourself to blame for the relationship feeling off. you've mentioned his height, his weight, his looks, his personality, his lack of humor, you've compared him to your ex (you've been dating him a year already?), and even his music taste, but you've described yourself as feeling comfortable, emotionally content, and you seem to recognize his positive qualities and the benefits of his partnership. you said that you aren't used to stability in a relationship. is the stability you're experiencing bad? is this what is making you feel like something is off? or is there something else that you're still yet to discover/explore about yourself that could be sabotaging what appears to be a beneficial and potentially long-term relationship with a supposedly decent, supportive moid?

you mentioned that you already feel like you're settling. are you already imagining yourself with others? or talking to others? i really advise you to not jump the gun here if you haven't set in stone that you're ending things with your current partner. because if you suddenly rediscover what made you fall in love with him in the first place and this does last then that guilt will haunt you.

Anonymous 98693

have to agree with >>98680
it sounds like you're trying really hard to invent problems here - he's an inch shorter than your ideal, he likes different music, and he's not that into philosophy - are these really make-or-break things for you in a relationship or are you just trying to find excuses to end things because you've got it in your head that you're 'settling' and are freaking out about it?

Anonymous 98705

Functional people have bullied and rejected me my entire life, especially as an adult without a college degree working blue collar jobs. I grew up in an upper class household and had been taught since I was young that my family and their social circle are "superior" to the white trash they tried forcing me not to become, yet white trash folks are the only people who treat me like a human being. I really don't care if you disprove of drug addicts or homeless people, take the wedge out of your ass because your judgemental sperging has nothing to do with my question.

Anonymous 98707

I’ve been talking to this guy for almost a month now. He lives pretty far away but I think he’s perfect. He’s so cute and like has these thick muscular thighs and arms. He’s smart and kind of emo but not where he dresses all emo. All in all he’s just like kind of ughhhh, ya know? Anyways he doesn’t want me to shave down there, which is fine with me. I asked him if he liked other body hair and he said no not really. Well now he doesn’t want me to shave anything. Unless like I ask him… is he trying to make it so I can’t have sex with other men?

Anonymous 98722


How do I start a female led relationship?

Anonymous 98726

That's disturbing. He's trying to control you. Leave immediately.

Anonymous 98728


They're going to immediately think of those one sided open relationships and think you're going to do something horrible to them.

Anonymous 98731

How can I find a moid who won't think this?

Anonymous 98732

That's it. I hate men. I'm going to search for a political lesbian platonic partner from now on. Because you won't man up and tell me what you want for fuck's sake. Tired to the point of exhaustion with you brushing me off while you occasionally hint at shit then take it back, along with your friends telling me you're into me. Christ.

Anonymous 98736


I want a beautiful bf.
I hate men with all my heart so every time they trigger me they just reinforce my desire to only care about looks and nothing else.

Anonymous 98739

I have no idea. I don't even understand how a relationship like that would start, maybe you explain you're good with finances and he just brings you money every other week to make sure the lights stay on?

Anonymous 98742

>become chad
things that never happened

Anonymous 98745

Sometimes I wish cc were active enough to have an archive showing deleted posts because I'm positive whoever that was, was replying to me

Anonymous 98763

I’m in a relationship like this right now and basically it’s not that great because all the responsibility and burden of decision making is on me with zero input from my partner, he’s just a yes man

Anonymous 98766

Same. It's far easier to tolerate their bullshit if they at least look nice. If they can't have a beautiful soul&heart then they need to have a beautiful body&face.

Anonymous 98768

But is that /really/ caring about looks and nothing else? I think it's downright healthy. It's good to be self aware, a bit insecure, and not prone to obscene unhealthy entitlement.

Anonymous 98775

I don’t mind it much. For like the last two years or so I’ve been in control. I had to like make all the first moves and basically play mother with guys. It’s nice that someone wants to be in charge. Plus it’s just body hair. He’s been like kind of distant though or at least it feels that way. :/

Anonymous 98781


Question for anyone

How do I even go about initiating sex or being flirtatious with a new potential partner? I went through a breakup of a long term relationship a few months ago, and since I was so used to what it was like to be with him, I haven't had to feel nervous about sex and flirting etc in a long time. But now I have somewhat of a new possibility and whenever flirting occurs I always freeze up and get super nervous. I also have no fucking idea how I would get to the point of sex with someone again without internally panicking like a retard and putting it off as long as possible out of nervousness.

Anonymous 98783

Does he do the chores?

Anonymous 98786

>I also have no fucking idea how I would get to the point of sex with someone again without internally panicking like a retard and putting it off as long as possible out of nervousness.
Don't have sex with anyone until you feel comfortable. If you feel like you will never get to that point then you should probably work through that before getting involved with someone. Or just put it off until you feel ready and if they are a good person they will understand.

Anonymous 98808

Yeah I tell him to do things and he does it no questions asked

Anonymous 98809

Sounds like the prefect relationship, to be honest.

Anonymous 98816

I went through a horrible breakup out of a 6 year relationship (and I was dumped). I ended up getting into a relationship with someone 3 months later. Everyone, including me, assumed it'd be a rebound because it was so (comparatively) soon after but I legitimately thought he was cute and was like "fuck it why not" (I had also never seen a dick aside from my ex's so I was curious). Firstly he initiated sexual activity and secondly I was super excited for it so it happened naturally. That period of time right after I got dumped was probably the most psuedo-BPD I've ever been in my entire life, so maybe the unusual impulsivity helped it not feel awkward. In any case, I think the punchline here is if you're actually ready to have sex the excitement will overpower the awkwardness (and also he should probably initiate it).

Anonymous 98817

(oh and it's been 2 years and we're still together)

Anonymous 98864

I genuinely love my bf so much and I know he loves me too. However I'm currently recovering from am ed and gaining weight and I'm so afraid he'll stop finding me attractive once I reach my set point weight, which I already know is on the chubby side. He assured me he'd still love me but he has never seen me in a bigger body so I fear his mind will change then. I'm literally so scared.

Anonymous 98867

So nonas I have this one male friend who’s kinda hot and funny and I sometimes dream of him. Like last night I dreamt that he came over and we hugged and laughed and he proceeds to get close to me and I just kiss him. I had a great time in the dream but I remember also feeling guilty because of course I have a boyfriend.
Another time I dreamt that we were hanging out together sightseeing and I just couldn’t help but kiss him as well.
What do all these dreams mean? Does this mean I’m not 100% devoted to my bf? Because I do love him, a lot. But I do have doubts about if he’s really the one for me.

Anonymous 98878


Nonas, where do I go to find guys who have no social media? Whenever I like a guy, I go through his Instagram likes and find out he follows Instagram models whose posts are all bikini pics. Either that or they’re a fan on Jordan Peterson, Andrew Tate, or lurk other incel-rampant sites (reddit, discord). I once found this white guy’s Twitter and found him tweeting slurs (this was years ago, but still). For context, I am a woc.

Even TikTok and YouTube are no longer safe. They’re poisoning the mind of youths with “gold-digger” content and “she’s for the streets” verbiage.

Basically, I’m over guys who use social media. Preferably, I want to be with a guy who has absolutely no Instagram at all. That’s the worst one, in my opinion. Where shall I find these guys?

Anonymous 98880

Stop pursuing fuckboys and youll lose this problem

Anonymous 98881

The only people I know who don't have social media grew up on the early internet and take cybersecurity seriously.

Anonymous 98883

You're probably the only one who can answer what the dream meant for you. You can try to analyze it for yourself, think how the dream made you feel. Maybe it is related to you not being sure whether your bf is the right one for you. Maybe you're attracted to some qualities of your friend and you feel like you need them at your life. Maybe seeing your friend IRL could clear it up.0
I had a similar experience, I'm single but once I've had a similar dream about a married friend. At first I got scared because "What the hell? He's married? Am I actually attracted to a married man?" but then I realized it's probably just some qualities of his that I've felt attracted to, a big strong and caring guy who is stable and is capable of having a happy marriage is attractive and there was also a feeling of being special enough to overshadow someone as great as his wife and feeling like I need something like this to feel special just shows my low self-esteem and self-worth. So I think that's what's the dream meant for me. You can try to analyze it this way as well, focus not on the events but what could they've been
representing for you . When I've met up with the guy IRL I did feel very relieved because of not actually feeling any romantic/sexual attraction towards him. I think my brain just got attracted to some of his qualities and merely choose the image of this guy as a vessel for it because dreams are kind of random in general.

Anonymous 98904


If I could have everything my way I would spend every waking moment with my boyfriend, not even talking or doing anything, I just crave physical company. But we don't get to see each other that often and I find that whenever we're not together I feel very restless and sad, always thinking about him and missing him. He tells me that I shouldn't develop an u dependency for him and that I should make sure I have other people in my life as well which I agree with, but that doesn't change the fact that he will always be special to me and that no one can replace the comfort and happiness I feel with him. But still I can't help but feel childish and selfish for demanding so much of his time and attention when I should probably be more independent.

Anonymous 98906

Last year I got into a relationship. He has been supportive, kind, sweet, hasn't been pushy when it comes to sex (he doesn't know, but I am still a virgin) and he's a great bf in general, without any doubt the best that I've had.
Only problem is that I don't feel like I love him. I got into the relationship thinking I could develop love for him, but it hasn't been the case. I'm already feeling like I'm wasting my time. I care about him and have a good time, but I don't feel anything intense for him, almost like he is a friend instead of a bf.

Anonymous 98907

I have no advice for you, because this is my fear. In any of my short lived relationships, I started because I liked them, but I never got to where I loved them. No one I ever felt right saying I Love You to.

So I hope some Nonas can help us out…like does one NEED to feel that love at first sight or itll never happen? This shittiness of mine has hinded my dating and made me scared to use apps again.

Anonymous 98908

I'm sorry for you, because I know it sucks.
I'm no expert because this is my longest relationship so far (1y4m), but I think all relationships start with infatuation and after a certain time it's gone and that's I guess when we can get an idea of how we truly feel about that person.
In my case I think it has been way too long. I know it's not a crazy amount of time, but it should be enough for me to feel something more intense for him.
Sometimes I wonder if not having sex yet plays a role on that, but I don't want to do it without feeling something first for that person.

Anonymous 98909

I'm so sleep deprived that I skipped what I wanted to quote. It was this
>like does one NEED to feel that love at first sight or itll never happen?

Anonymous 99006

I love my boyfriend but I don't like him. he doesn't try to boss me around or tell me what to do, but he is clingy, submissive, overly romantic, always wants to cuddle, and his breath smells weird. I would do anything for him because he treats me like a queen but I feel like I relate to him less every day. I miss just being single. He thinks about me all day, meanwhile I spend most of my time thinking about living alone or the art I want to make.

I don't want to break up with him because I care about him deeply. We spend the night with each other once a week but I wish we spent less time together. Like maybe just going out for a little while rather than a whole night. Idk. I also just really fucking hate cuddling and kissing.

Anonymous 99021

How long have you guys been together?

Anonymous 99023

5 months now

Anonymous 99039

You may just not really have as strong feelings for him as you originally thought tbh. If it's only been 5 months and you don't feel infatuated I would say that you probably have love and care FOR him but aren't necessarily in love with him.

Anonymous 99040

So basically..you probably need to break up with him somehow. How would he react if you tried to break up with him you think?

Anonymous 99049

The man i’ve been in love with for the past year turned out to be a sex offender. He jerks off in public. This one time a girl smiled at him in class and he jerked off under the table for 10 minutes…. He is also very much not gay just a sex maniac and deviant so he also jerks off in front of his friends and has sex with his best friend. He’s not reallly gay i think just a sex maniac that would insert it into anyone and anything really. I’m in so much pain. The sad part is that i have no self respect and i might take him back and “accept him” for what he is but to my luck my rationality hasn’t failed on me. When we talked he seemed a bit hypersexual but he gaslit me into thinking that’s how men are. My friends weren’t of much help either bcs they said it’s natural for a man to be sexually aroused around a woman he’s attracted to. Turns out he is a maniac. His best friends are red flags too, all over 20 and date teenage girls like 15 y olds….

Anonymous 99057

trad larp.png

Nonas, I feel a little uncomfortable sharing this because, well, I'm dating one of those "trad" LARPers and I don't think it's a good idea to normalize doing that, but my situation is what it is now and I need advice.
I've only been dating trad guy a little over a month and already he is unironically demanding that I "submit" to him. He makes this demand constantly and at times uses it to silence my opinions, saying that I should submit instead of expressing them. I've asked him what he means by submit and he says that it consists of various wifely duties I must perform for him like cooking and cleaning. I don't know why I owe him wifely duties when we're not even married, he keeps saying that dating is a trial run for marriage and we need to learn to live as a married couple.
Whenever I challenge him on the inherent sexism of demanding submission he just whips out his bible and starts quoting some line that says "wives submit to your husbands." I'm an atheist of Japanese descent, I don't know why he thinks New Testament quotes will resonate with me, but apparently he believes they are the ultimate 'gotcha' that shuts down any dialog.
The fucked up part about all this is he watches porn and keeps trying to have weird kinky sex with me. He was demanding sex from the first date, I didn't allow it until the fourth, and he's never getting the kink stuff, but that doesn't stop him from trying. Give me a break.

Anonymous 99058

And you haven't dumped his ass because…?

Anonymous 99059


Oh nona, he's not even your fiancé or husband or anything yet and he's already demanding "wifely duties"?? If I were you, I would just laugh in his face and say, "When I'm actually your wife and you pay my bills, maybe I'll think about it." Try to set boundaries, be assertive (without being combative) and make it clear that you think this is a load of bullshit, and don't do anything you really don't want in sex. If he can't contain himself with this nonsense, dump his ass

Anonymous 99060

God what is the point, he's just going to Starr hitting you later.

Anonymous 99067

She said she's japanese and he's christian. He's probably a white guy who sees asian women as wife material and wants a submissive asian wife. Japanese women have extreme white fever, so it would take a lot for them to dump a white man

Anonymous 99068

>trad larper
>likely racist
>likely interracial relationship
i'm sorry to say but you fucked up bigly nona. he's not gonna get better and you should dump him, if not for your own sake then for the sake of your future children.

Anonymous 99069

The absolute loser forgets that according to his stupid book he also has to submit to Christ and lay out his life for you and to be such a dependable and safe husband to you that you willingly submit to him because you trust him to keep you completely safe and see no reason not to do it. In other words he can only have love in his heart for you and no ulterior motives. He can't use you to fulfill his needs. He has to be such a good partner that you want to fulfill them. He can never force submission out of anyone and if he tries to, he's using the Bible to control other people. The Bible demands submission from literally everyone, the ego has to die and you have to become the Lord's sheep and live for Him completely. No halfsies.

Anonymous 99070

if he's white it will take a lot more for her to leave him

Anonymous 99072

>bf talking about how men kill themselves every so and so minutes
>fighting the urge to say good

Anonymous 99075

he would be absolutely destroyed for months. i'm his first everything, and he thinks he's going to marry me. i've told him thats bever happening though.

i don't wanna leave because he makes me so happy sometimes.

Anonymous 99082

So I got a gym membership today so I could lose some weight. It’s this small gym that’s open 24hours and they don’t really have anyone there at the front desk except during certain hours(small small town). Which is why I picked it so I could workout when nobody is around. Wait till like it’s almost 10pm to go tonight, hoping no one will be there. Right when I walk in there’s this like super cute boy(fuuuccccck). He like smiles and says hi to me as a walk by and I like kind of whispered it back and scan for the locker room so I can change my shoes and hide. So while I’m hiding in there he leaves and as he’s leaving he shouts bye really loud. I don’t think I can ever go back there

Anonymous 99100

Some great news nonas: I finally worked up the courage to dump this scrote's ass! I did it very informally and over the phone, and just told him that this wasn't going to work out and there was nothing he could do to change my mind and that I did not want him to talk to me in the future even platonically. Shortly after that I blocked him on phone, facebook, and Insta. Thank God I insisted he always take me back to his place lol I would not be comfortable with this guy knowing my address right now.

Anonymous 99109

Attagirl, bullet dodged. Better to be with someone who truly likes you and respects you for who you are and sees you as his equal in companionship and won't try to make you fulfill a role.

Anonymous 99120


Anonymous 99134

On a another episode of all men are trash
>talking to this guy I don’t really like him but he’s cute
>we kind of just message each other off and on. Nothing too serious.
>ask him last night if he wants to hangout
>get this long message about how he has found himself in a relationship but I’m cute and cool and he wishes he made more time to talk to me. We can be friends Blah blah
>still wants to hangout
Like it wasn’t even that serious to begin with but like no I’m not gonna hangout with you still. Go hangout with your gr bro

Anonymous 99143

My boyfriend is gaslighting me about the (lack of) time we spend together so I made an Excel sheet to keep track and it's just depressing.

This month he's spent 55 hours on Discord group calls and 4 hours with me. When I confront him about this he stonewalls me.

I should end it but he's literally my only friend. The only person I know. I can't make new friends because my brain is fully occupied with how miserable and lonely I am. I really don't want to be alone. And it fucks with my head that I'll never know whether he's intentionally manipulating me or if he really is as stupid and selfish as he appears to me. I don't even know which would be worse.

Anonymous 99148

>55 hours on discord voice calls
made me chuckle
what are you doing nona
if you want a low value discord bf you can at least find a desperate one who worships the ground you walk on, what even is this

Anonymous 99180

Do you have a job? Or any friends that you have lost contact with? They may seem like they aren't an option (I was in that position once), but they actually really are, and can introduce you to even more people.

Anonymous 99184

Maybe you should get discord and join him on the calls

Anonymous 99186

Anonymous 99206

I feel like my ex/fwb doesn't really have emotional connection to me despite it being him who suggested to stay friends. It doesn't seem like he hates me or anything but is just pretty indifferent and for him it doesn't matter if im present at his life or not. And I'm too scared to talk at out. It would be unwise to demand emotional connection from a person who doesn't have it in them, but in the end of the day doesn't being fwb imply platonic emotional connection? I really crave it tbh, but I guess it started dawning on me that he's not the best choice for such connection but it's so hard to connect with people and become friends that a part of me still wants to cling onto him despite all the indifference.

Anonymous 99275


My ex for some reason just now sent me a document I left at his house in the mail after five months of him not talking to me at all, should I try to suppress any thoughts of him that are now popping up or does this signify any possible chance of him talking to me again?

Anonymous 99297

What was the document? Was it something that you would need?

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