Kink-shaming myself Anonymous 11890
How to stop feeling guilty for being rough with my boyfriend in bed, even through he wanted it and often ask me to dominate him? Always when I choke, slap, scratch, vaginally suffocate, tie-up, spank or even engange in CNC (consensual non-consent, in which he is the "prey") I have this nagging feeling, that even if he is the one asking for it, I'm still hurting him and the fact that he(but also me) gets massive sexual pleasure from it doesn't change that. Everytime when I get visibly uncomfortable (even when I don't safeword) he asks me if I want to continue, which makes me feel even worse, since I then think about giving him "the Ick". I enjoy sex with my boy very much, as does he(which he deserves since If I want something from him in bed he never declines and genuinely puts my pleasure first), but I want to tell this worry in my head to go away. Any tips/suggestions?
Anonymous 11891
Maybe you want a sort of "gentle femdom" approach. Like, you keep telling him how much you love him while you dominate him, and you compliment him and call him cute and adorable while you spank him and make him eat you out. You force yourself on him because you love him so much that you can't restrain yourself.
>but I don't really love him
Possibly that's your problem. If you're having sex with someone you don't really love, that would be why you're feeling guilty.
Anonymous 11892
>>11891I do compliment a lot inside and outside the bedroom, I do tell him I love him (because I actually do), during the moments of stoppage after I showed him non-verabally show him that I might be feeling weird I do often tell him that I feel like that because I care about him. Even in our "CNC" sessions I like to play it like "I'm only doing this to you darling because I'm just too attracted to you too much to actually care about your consent". I think that you may have misunderstood me, I feel like this because I DO LOVE MY MAN.
Anonymous 11893
>>11892If you love him so much, why don't you marry him?
Anonymous 11894
>>11891>>but I don't really love himAre you responding to made up scenarios in your head?
Anonymous 11895
Just talk it out, don't force yourself to do something that makes you feel bad, he should understand it. There are ways you can dominate him that don't involve physical harm, just search and experiment until you find something both of you enjoy.
Anonymous 11896
>>11893I will, we actually spoke about it, he cried tears of joy but also said that he wants me to propose and arrange our future marriage because he feels if he was the one initiating taking our relationship to a next level, he would feel kinda "patriarchaly" because he doesn't want to make me feel pressured into doing anything.
>>11894This! How could you read my post and/or my replies and think that I don't love my boyfriend?!
>>11895You don't understand my post, I like doing this shit and also I feel happy about making my boyfriend happy, I talk about something fucky and irrational that is all in my head.
Anonymous 11899
Polish_20230915_11…
>>11896>All my friends got BFs this yearMe hurting
>I remember that crystal.cafe exists>Go there and remember that there is an unlisted nsfw boardThat is a good idea to lurk that section, right?
>Stumble upon this thread>Read it>Hurt my feelings even furtherWhy am I like this? Should I just OD on Skittles?
Anonymous 11916
ick ick ick
are you addicted to porn or something? Couldn't even make it halfway through this post before getting the urge to vomit. Seek help.
Anonymous 11920
>>11890Your instincts are right and you guys are both a bit sick in the head, probably from porn and the way it affects our current culture. I wouldn't continue abusing my boyfriend for sexual pleasure if I were you.
