>>14327Me, I'm not even aroace or anything, I just kinda don't see the point? As a teen I had a lot of crushes but never really did anything with them because it's like I was too aware that we were all dumb teens and any relationship would be superficial and short-lasting, so I didn't bother. Then I got my first bf at 21 and even though I liked him and we did some stuff like me giving him handjobs over his underwear or him sucking my tits (which did feel amazing) I once again saw no point in doing it. I think mainly because of other ways in which he touched me, like I could tell it was going to be awful sex anyway, and since I didn't love
love him it was like… idk I just didn't want to, it's hard to explain, I just didn't feel it. Then I was single for many years and got another bf last year but I realized very early on he had a severe porn addiction, the first hint before finding out being that whenever I tried to talk sexy to him he couldn't even get it up and struggled a lot with it, which was honestly pathetic. But even before that, something about him always made me feel off and was also kinda dreading the idea of fucking him.
But yeah a mix of being autistic, of wanting to only have sex with someone I actually and truly love and know that loves me too, and the fact that throughout the years I've been learning more about my body and what I like and how I like it, with my orgasms becoming more powerful each time and only doing it when I really want to it's like, yeah sex is not happening atp. I don't think any man will be able to give me as much pleasure as I give myself, and also they're all fucked in the head nowadays, I seriously think men are incapable of feeling genuine love so I'm making peace with the fact I'll forever be a virgin and single. It used to lowkey bother me many years ago but not anymore, on the contrary, I'm very glad I never gave in.
>inb4 how do you know you're not just a lesbian?I never crushed on women, and all my fantasies include a perfect man I created in my head and all the ways I want to fuck him so unfortunately I like men. I do wonder if one day I'll happen to kiss another woman or something and some lightbulbs will suddenly light up, but I doubt so.