/nsfw/ - xxx

There are two possible motivations in most things. Reward, and punishment. Both have costs for anyone who attempts to offer them to others; a punishment carries a social cost for the punisher just as certainly as a reward carries a price for the donor. Hangmen and headsmen used to have their own traceable bloodlines, like a form of negative nobility, from the stigma.

The reward for having sex with a lot of women is having sex with a lot of women. The punishment for having sex with a lot of women is that other men see him as a sexual threat. The trouble is that acting upon that social threat is itself a sign that a given man feels particularly sexually threatened; it is then the man who is insecure and threatened by another's success who loses social and sexual and financial opportunities in the future.

The reward for not having sex with enough women is nonthreatening entrance to social spaces in which intermale sexual competition is discouraged. Such spaces are few and far between, and seem to be decreasing in number with the socialmediafication of social spaces, and this entrance is only dubiously rewarding. The punishment for not having sex with enough women is direct social exile from most male spaces in which sexual competition is part of the emotional pulse. And exile is still instinctively treated as a death sentence, even though it is no longer legally considered a form of capital punishment (which it was, legally and practically, for most of human history).

Nothing is ever going to offset the inter-male social importance of sex with women. In real life most adult male friendships are very, very shallow. And for all the talk there is of "inter-female bullying is too subtle too smart blah blah"–men are often worse with regards to that form of bullying too, it's just that it makes up a smaller percentage, not a smaller count of occurrences. The other problem being that a lot of time that "subtle" "indirect" "non-physical" interfemale bullying is blindingly obvious to everyone, your teachers did in fact know exactly what was happening and are making excuses.

This is the problem with the idea that men are even able to socially shame other men for being players. Any individual man who attempts to do that is signalling himself for social removal and this is made clear from a very early age. Which is also why it is inherently unwise to rely on men to in any way address sexual abusers who are within or atop the male hierarchy. They might frequently begrudge Donald Trump or Bill Clinton the sexual violence against women that they have both allegedly perpetrated, but living within the male power structure requires that they make the same Devil's Bargain and make the same excuses that your teacher made about certainty or fairness or visibility when Lauren elbowed you in the solar plexus every single week for seven months running.

Not that women have any fundamental power to socially shame men for having sex with lots of women either. The act in and of itself refutes the source of shaming in that case. Since it would either be "he had sex with Lauren, who used to beat you up a lot, and with Megan, and Susan, …. but not you, eh? And now you're mad at him? That it?" Or it would be "you didn't have any problem with him having sex with Lauren and Megan and Susan when he was also having sex with you, eh?" Or, "oh, I see, you suddenly became jealous when after he left you he had sex with Megan, and Susan, and Lauren, yeah jealousy's an ugly look for a woman but you've got to understand this sort of hystrionic woman display is why nobody intervened when Lauren used to beat you up."

>>14525
Damn who's this Lauren and why tf did she beat you up?

>>14526
You know that girl who's dad treated her like a princess after the divorce and whose mom used to punch her when she got drunk? The one who started to get that fucking gleam in her eye the moment she realized that she could indulge in physical violence against a smaller and weaker woman just like mom?
That's Lauren.

>>14525
Really good and detailed post that completely covers the issue. Thanks for the read!