/nsfw/ - xxx

Vile

make your own
nothing wrong with how you're feeling, btw. i've seen this expressed before by other people who've been abused. would you call them sick and fucked up?

>>15831
I don't feel like what happened to me was enough to warrant all this ngl

Is therapy affordable and accessible where you live? If so absolutely go for it. I was convinced my problems weren't "bad enough" to warrant therapy, but it's been absolutely live changing for me so far

>>15833
It isn't. Once I move and am in a more financially comfortable spot, I'd like to go, but I can't really imagine talking about being groomed as a kid to a professional IRL. Maybe an online therapist would be good.

I thought I was the only one who had compulsions like this

Look for Stockholm syndrome support groups

I hate randomly remembering inappropriate comments he made because it comes with this skin-crawling feeling. I don't know how else to describe it.

>>15837
I would feel stupid and gross

>>15858
I want to clarify, I wouldn't feel right being around a bunch of women who've faced things 100x worse than me, I'd feel like I'm disrespecting the space. If only there was a more open space? Maybe the only choice really is to start one

I still have that photo of his face on my old external hard drive. I don't know anything about him besides that and the country he lives in. I found an account he ran, years ago, but since I didn't have proof of his actions anymore, I couldn't "expose" him. That account is inactive now. It seems like he deleted everything he could.
I have weird maladaptive daydreams about what it would've been like if I kept talking to him. I know nothing good would've happened. It makes me want to write a story or something, put the whole thing to some kind of use. I could just never admit what the real source of inspiration was. There are probably enough fucked up stories like that, though.

I feel like not all, but a lot the things that happened to me in real life are in a fuzzy enough early stage that I can safely live outside of them, but my brain is wired so that the fact that I had to read the words he sent with my own two eyes and parse them (and that I cared so much about his validation??) constantly follows me even now.
He thought it was funny when people were worse than him, and refused to judge them. I don't really understand how a person can be that way. At least he didn't promise me I'd understand when I'm older. I hope he died, I don't know. He was a worthless blight on the planet.