/nsfw/ - xxx

(OP here)

I've masturbated (clitoral) very consistently since I was 12 or 13 years old. Probably more than once per day on average since 14. I consider myself relatively sexually healthy, low partner count, no sexual abuse or what have you. Masturbation is just inexplicably pleasurable and consequence-free, and I readily take advantage of that. I watch porn often, but porn isn't the cause of my orgasm. My orgasm is the cause of my orgasm. I don't think men experience this.

Orgasms are self-contained, infinitely repeatable, consequence free bursts of pleasure. There's no biological reason why I should experience one. It fulfills no reproductive role. Even if female sexual pleasure was meant to entice women into sexual interaction, the power of clitoral orgasms to me still seems unwarranted. I can't describe it. I can't even tell whether other women experience sexual pleasure at the same level that I do.

Lately I've become afraid that maybe clitoral stimulation and orgasm is somehow a vestigal male attribute. When I started looking into clitoral anatomy, I realized that the clitoris is essentially an undeveloped penis. It's a single piece of nerve-tissue that wraps from the inside of the vagina up underneath the abdomen. In fact, I can stimulate a stronger orgasm just by pressing on my abdomen. I can't tell how common this is either. So, what if my unusually strong orgasms are an attribute of me essentially having an over-developed clitoris? The outside part of the clitoris is small, normal-sized, and doesn't look like anything special. But I'm still worried that I experience an abnormal share of sexual pleasure due to some anatomical over-development which, if I had developed to be male, would be a part of the overall "expulsive" urge to ejaculate that they experience. Maybe my clitoral orgasm is expulsive in the same way, but with nothing to physically eject.

Lately I've been wondering whether, if it's true that there's something "masculine" about the characteristics of my sex drive, maybe I would be benefitted by "nofap". They talk about how resisting masturbation/sex funnels one's libido from sexual expulsion into creative expulsion. The longest I've gone without masturbating can't ever have been much more than a week. The last time I did it intentionally was for seven days when I was 17. What if I could be capable of redirecting expulsive urge?

The other thing that's weird about my sexuality is what I think about when I masturbate. I don't even know if I could explain it. Often, when the point is just to cum, the easiest thing for me is to think in abstractions: what some thing conceptually IS (what is courage? what does it mean to be a woman? how do biologists calculate distinctions between species?), or I think abstractly about the future (what I'll do after I finish masturbating (usually I don't end up doing whatever it is I, while I'm masturbating, feel certain that I will do)). I do also often masturbate while thinking of or watching or reading sexual content, which in some way actually does diminish the orgasm as the focal point of the act. But it's equally pleasurable, but just in a different way.

The point of me going in to what I think about is just to wonder whether the former two topics of thought aren't obviously a redirection of the libido from productivity into an 'expulsivity' which never arrives. Like I said, usually none of these 'ideas' get pursued after I cum.

This is really long and autistic, so I'm not sure I'm going to catch many interested people here. But I just want to know: how much of this does anyone else experience? Please tell me if you experience any part of it, even if you don't experience all of it. I want so badly to understand the meaning of female sexuality. Can anyone help explain?

>>1997
>My orgasm is the cause of my orgasm. I don't think men experience this.
This is just dumb. The point of orgasm is what everyone wants to achieve so thinking your orgasms get you off is pretty common.

Are you talking about the lower abdomen because lots of people have sexual gratification from that pressure point.

I go periods of 30-40 days without orgasm or really thinking about. If your masturbation habits are addicting or dampering your life maybe you should consider not masturbating. You will have more time to do other things and even more so if your habits take up large quantities of your day.

It's not a magic pill but it will help you realize what's occupying your mind really.

Can you manage to get off just by thinking?

>>1997
I kind of get you on the over-sensitive part, I'm luckily sensitive both on my clit and inside, so those elusive vaginal orgasms are attainable for me (very based, very grateful). I also get the abdominal thing.

Something weird I want to relate that connects to your "clit is almost peepee" thing here. I masturbate to pegging fantasies often, and when I orgasm to them I feel some sort of phantom ejaculation if that makes sense lmao. It distinctly feels different from when I jerk off to being penetrated or absentmindedly like you mentioned (just jerking while thinking of my day or plans). Idk. Weird.

>if it's true that there's something "masculine" about the characteristics of my sex drive, maybe I would be benefited by "nofap"
Maybe if it's all you can think about and you spend hours upon hours doing it?
I can only relate my own experiences here, but our sex drives and anatomy sound similar. I masturbate frequently, started around the same time, think about sex all day, attraction is very sex-driven, used to view porn for hours, etc. Around this time last year I stopped masturbating for two months or so after getting a UTI (it made me neurotic…idk), and I can tell you I was no more productive. In fact I'd say it was worse since I was so sexually frustrated.
HOWEVER, going noporn has been good for me. I wasted a lot of time looking at it and not even getting off…but that could be a me issue.

>>1999
I can get "half" orgasms from fantasies if I haven't masturbated in the same day. It may be a conditioned response, sort of like feeling a burst of energy after drinking decaf coffee since the brain is used to it after drinking a similar tasting beverage that actually has caffeine.

>>2000
Are expulsion and reception opposites?
That would mean one gender has expulsive urges and the other gender has receptive urges

>>2001
I mean, I clearly have expulsive urges so I'm not one to ask.
And there are men who like getting anally fucked so I doubt it's 100% strict.

Who doesn't masturbate? Maybe a few people but not many.

Personally I do at least once a day, sometimes 2-3 times.

Two things:

Is it weird I’ve been masturbating literally ever since I can remember? I seriously remember masturbating in my cot

Also, since I discovered porn in my early teens I struggle a ton to masturbate without it. To orgasm is a massive struggle and I can’t even get myself wet. Wtf is up with that?

>>1997
>Even if female sexual pleasure was meant to entice women into sexual interaction, the power of clitoral orgasms to me still seems unwarranted.
Nah, it is warranted because having sex with a man requires a vulnerability that he doesn't understand. He is nearly always going to be stronger and able to overpower you if he wanted to. It makes sense our orgasms have to be overpowering sensations, and repeatable, if they alone are what is supposed to entice us to have sex.

>Lately I've become afraid that maybe clitoral stimulation and orgasm is somehow a vestigal male attribute.
It's a human attribute that is related to reproduction. It is an agender attribute that is more related to us being organisms that want to pass on our genes.

>When I started looking into clitoral anatomy, I realized that the clitoris is essentially an undeveloped penis.
It could also be viewed that a penis is an overdeveloped clitoris. The "average" human that has been studied is male, so there is a huge bias against women in that respect.

> what if my unusually strong orgasms are an attribute of me essentially having an over-developed clitoris?
No, if you had a large clitoris, you would know. The attached pic is an example of one. That logic is like saying a man with a small penis has less of a sex drive than that of a man with a huge penis.

You seem rife with all these preconceptions based upon how female sexuality is portrayed (by males, usually).

I do not have a memory of starting masturbating. My earliest memories are of my parents telling me to stop doing that over my clothes. I masturbate a fair amount, multiple times per day. Sex is a rather sore point of my relationships, 2x a day is basically what I get currently, but I would like more. I can cum from simply being touched, and from thoughts. I especially like penetration while I am stimulating my clit with something, usually achieved by me humping.

Masturbating has fucked with my life, though. I often am late to work because of it. I can't "get up" out of bed without doing it. I do it when I get home. I do it when I am going to sleep. I do it when I feel depressed and cumming makes me able to cry.

I orgasm to thoughts alone. I've realized from talking to people that I must be good at mentally visualizing scenes and scenarios. I basically make up my own porn in my head. It is very detailed and clear, and I can imagine scents and other senses if I want to.

I imagine that part of that is because I rarely ever used porn to masturbate. For what it's worth, I have a small clit that rarely is able to pop out of its hood. When it does, it hurts.

>>2009
No, I was like that as well. surely there are others.

Two, it sounds like you are conditioned to only getting off with porn. This happens a lot to porn addicted men. Your condition can improve if you cease to watch porn for some time.

>>2020
Also, sorry for how blunt and rude this comes off as. I get depressed seeing how women perceive themselves over just being naturally horny humans.

>>2020
I can go months without watching porn and it's still the same ):

>>2021
I completely agree, I hate how some people view women as practically asexual, and some women don't seem to know a lot about their own body or sexuality. Everything is always about men. It's really sad

>>2027
Did you still masturbate just as much when you went without porn? Also, do you happen to use anything like a vibrator/shower head, because that can supposedly desensitise you

>>2029
Nahhh I’d sometimes start but then give up because I can’t get wet. I’ve never used a shower head or toys

>>2031
Why is being wet necessarily important if you masturbate? How do you masturbate?

I could get wet or not wet and I'd still climax. It's true if I checked after, I'd be wet. But it's not a prerequisite for how I masturbate.

>>2032
well if you're not wet you're not getting turned on…

>>2020
Hey, OP here, thank you for your response. I didn't think you were too blunt. I started the thread really craving feedback from someone who understood and sympathized with the way I experience sexuality, and I feel that you do. I feel too embarrassed to talk to any female friends in real life about this stuff. Some who I've talked to never masturbate, have never experienced orgasm.

You're right, I definitely think I've internalized a male-centric construction of sexuality to orient myself. 4chan etc. are the only places where I really get to see undisguised discussions of sexuality, and they're almost all from the male perspective.

I like your idea about the strength of clitoral orgasm as evolutionary repayment for the risk a woman undertakes for sex. I've always been frustrated or sad that it itself doesn't have reproductive utility. I could become pregnant, reproduce, without ever experiencing the most purely pleasurable experience I think it's possible for me to experience. And there are many women who do. That frustrates me. I want them all to know, because I want that knowledge, that experience, to have some utility beyond merely bringing pleasure. Does that make sense?

>>2035
dunno, sometimes bodies are weird and you just can't get it on for whatever reason. it happens to everyone.

I can only masturbate and cum to spanking videos. I can finished in less than 3 minutes, but I can't cum from sex even if I rub myself and it's very frustrating. How do I fix this.

>>1996
>do I masturbate
>DO I MASTURBATE
I’m the god damn female version of the coomer meme. Started experimenting when I was 13, came for the first time with a detachable shower head at 15, and haven’t stopped since. Highlight of my day is my nightly ritual with my personal massager I bought a year ago while drunk because I short-circuited my last one. Personally, I think of masturbation as completely separate from sex, so masturbating doesn’t kill my sex drive. If anything, I get wetter and hornier the more I cum.

Unrelated, but does anyone have any cute and catchy euphemisms for female masturbation? Most slang terms are super male-oriented (jacking off, spanking the monkey, beating your meat, etc) and I feel weird using them.

>>2165
Jilling off, flicking the bean, flapping the wings

This works?

>>1997
>>2165
>very consistently since I was 12 or 13 years old
>Started experimenting when I was 13,
tfw have been masturbating to orgasm since 8 years old… i had my period at 10 though, was an early bloomer

>>2324
I started at 9 but i only had my first period at 14 i think

I think my brain is wired weirdly when it comes to masturbation and porn compared to actual sex

Like actual sex I hate being hurt or degraded, shit like that just kills all my arousal instantly
I like my sex to be fun, not painful

But like when I masturbate I can't help but think about being raped and abused and it just seems to get me going then anything else

>>2605
Lol same, I love watching gangbangs but would never want to be in one myself

>>2324
I started at 8 too, I was a massive pervert.

It was a byproduct of being exposed to the internet. I have no comprehension as to why my mom gave me my own computer at 8 alone in my room with internet access.

I would play all of those porn flash games, and watch porn excessively. I loved downloading those sims mods too where the sims could have uncensored sex in all these weird positions. LOL.

I remember the first porn I watched was a teacher/student porno with a blonde bimbo looking teacher with fake boobs. I kind of want to find it just for nostalgic reasons.

It caused me a lot of detriment though. That sexual exploration + curiosity + uncensored internet access made me a perfect victim for internet predators, unfortunately.

I don't like porn anymore, I've tried to, but it does nothing for me as an adult. I've almost developed into demisexuality, where I can't "get off" to something sexually unless it starts as a romantic connection. Maybe because that's the only way I can feel "safe" now. Even if it was erotica, or something, it'd be a slow burn lovers fanfic where they only fuck in chapter 180.

>>2693
Not who you responded to but it's refreshing to see I'm not alone in this experience, I'm past the point of looking at porn or even other couples and stories of others, I just crave a romantic relationship, I wonder if you meant page 180 and not chapter

>>2605
I know how you feel. I was abused when I was about 8-11, and haven't had sex since. Nowadays, it's one of numerous fucked up things I get off to.

>>3041
See thats interesting because I've never been abused or raped
So I don't know where my desire to masturbate while thinking about it comes from

>>3047
I feel the same way. Idk, I don’t want to subscribe to PUA bullshit about how “deep down all women like being dominated / raped because that’s how our ancient ancient ancestors and wild animals did it”

But at the same time idk why I and apparently so many others have a prevalent fetish for being dominated

>>3048
I would never admit it in public, but I'm starting to feel like those PUA are actually correct.
Especially in this matter, it feels like rape is too common a fetish for it not to be true

>>3051
Vagina is built to take in penis passively, that's biological; the extension of rape/domination is due to ancestral fear and survival necessities which manifest deep in the old reptilian brain and the even older arachnid brain

>>3060
That makes sense
I suppose it also comes down to the lizard brain thinking:
>want strong babies
>strong man make strong babies
>strong man takes what he wants
>May as well enjoy it while that man rapes a baby in you

Isn't what is considered a "rape" kink just ravishment? A controlled environment where you are passive in sex and where the dude takes the reigns but you enjoy what is done to you? I suppose this fetish could be what happens when women's sexuality is shamed to the point where people act like women aren't sexual at all mixed in with the biological reality that women do in fact feel sexual attraction which leads into fantasies where you play the socially accepted role as the passive party that "doesn't want it" with the dominant male. Idk, I don't think that what PUA and other assorted retards say is true because actual rape is terrifying and no one right in the head would actually desire for that to occur. Those retards just to legitimize forcing themselves on to random women.

>>1996
>>1996
ja. been doing so a few times a day since i was about 11.

>>4179
To those who doubt, it's true. I was in the crowd clapping.

>All these anons who masturbated since they were little kids
Fucking how? It took me years to figure it out even after I started wanting too because I found shitty answers from my poor googling skills when searching "how do girls masturbate?"
>thought touching the clit was just supposed to be like pushing a button
>tried awkwardly throwing myself against a pillow, confused when I felt absolutely nothing
>tried fingering myself and all I did was scratch the inside of my vagina and make it bleed a little bit
I felt so dumb when I finally figured it out.

>>4582
For many of us it was partially accidental

>>1997
There's a lot of theories about the purpose of the clitoris and women's orgasm and you described an older one – it exists because men have penises, like how men have nipples but don't need them. But the clitoris is a complicated structure that's highly conserved across mammals, it has more nerves than a penis, so it must be important somehow. Creating pleasure and desire, which leads to wanting sex, is the obvious one.

But the theory that makes sense for humans and other apes IMO is that sex is a social phenomenon and helps form and cement bonds, both straight and gay. Sex has way more purposes for us than just making babies. Especially because humans, unlike most mammals, have sex more or less constantly, instead of only doing it during certain times of the year.

One theory is that if a guy is willing, patient, and empathetic enough to make you come, he's probably a keeper, as far as evolutionary instincts go. I don't know if anyone here ever had such satisfying sex that you had sudden thoughts about marrying him, but it happens.

Some women can be much more sexual than men because men can only orgasm 1-3 times before exhausting themselves. So you can flex some female superiority there.

I've never heard of fantasizing about abstract non-sexual concepts. You might be an actual weirdo on that front, congrats.

>>3298
From what I remember, that explanation is popular but off track, because women who have rape and ravish fantasies tend to be more feminist, view more porn, use more sex toys, and generally be more sexually confident, while women who grow up in more conservative places have fewer fantasies like that. So it's more like radfem in the streets, spank me daddy in the sheets.

I have fantasies like that myself and I've thought about it, looked for commonalities with others, so tell me if this makes sense. Part of it is wanting to feel wanted, and if the guy is breaking social taboos, acting aggressive, can't control himself, etc. that boosts your self-esteem. Also there's this whole being overwhelmed by animalistic masculinity thing, sometimes literally, like I dunno how many werewolf fics are out there. Or stories about the MC "taming the beast" with her love.

I try maybe once or twice a year to see if I feel anything, but I never do. Whenever I imagine a moid seeing me I only feel shame. Being femcel has damaged me psychologically.

I can't masturbate with my hands I just do not get off to it, rubbing does nothing and when I actually get slick enough to get fingers inside it just feels unpleasant.

Anyone else have this problem?

Usually, I dry-hump stuff like here >>2186 or I end up inserting stuff like plastic broom handles or other things as a makeshift dildo.


>>3298
>Isn't what is considered a "rape" kink just ravishment? A controlled environment where you are passive in sex and where the dude takes the reigns but you enjoy what is done to you?

I don't know if I subscribe to this, my fantasies are very brutal and I don't usually end up in a situation where I secretly want it or learn to enjoy it. It's a lot of beating and crying and shame. I'm not an abuse victim of any sort, but rape, forced zoo, and guro end up being most of what I imagine. It's not even mindbreak or anything, I'm surprised I can even orgasm at all because in my head I never get to that point.

I always chalk it up to low self-esteem and conservative guilt, but idk maybe I'm just completely fucked up.

>>4638
>Anyone else have this problem?
yeah. i'm starting to think that maybe i'm missing something crucial. the possibility that maybe i'm just not sensitive enough makes me really self-conscious.

Masturbation thread. I just want to vent. I can't masturbate. I feel nothing, so I don't. Only when drunk do I attempt to. Even then, I have to fucking destroy my clit to feel anything, lmao. I just did, and I came, but my God it's not really pleasurable, it's just one second of pleasure and that's it. My orgasms are very pathetic, I feel like I'm broken, or something.

yes. here's a story.

>be me
>finally buy my first dildo
>zerk it
>realize i wasn't horny this whole time i was just craving human contact
>weep

I masturbate all the time, constantly, and sometimes not even consciously. Sometimes I'll just be streaming and realise I'm rubbing myself, or cooking in the kitchen and realise I'm pressing myself into the bench.

When I go out of my way to do it, I will do fucked up things to myself just to heighten my orgasm.

I think I only feel happy when I'm cumming, but I always cry when I finish.

>>7027
Yeah, same. I'm basically horny 24/7. Too bad I ended up with a great guy who has no sex drive.