/nsfw/ - xxx

BDSM is overall shady and fucked up. I honestly can't imagine how those people live with themselves…like, how do they explain this to themselves? and how do they not see the issue? I get it, both parties agreed upon doing this and it's their bodies and choices. But they can't deny that the thing they do is just sooo fucked up, and no amount of aftercare will fix the broken mind that gets off to this.
sage for sperg

That’s the terror of knowing what sex is about. Watching some good friends screaming “Let me out!”

Under pressure.

I'm not even into BDSM but aftercare has always been a nice touch to sex
Just taking a shower together and laying down in bed together has always been one of the more enjoyable things to do
BDSM usually disgusts me but I'm a super massive vanillafag so take that with a grain of salt

>>5891
the issue of op is not with cuddling and exchanging affection after having sex, it's how manipulative, violent men into bdsm use the concept of aftercare to make the sexual abuse they perpetrate seem more appealing, less serious and mantain a facade of a good person who cares about their significant other

>>5890
this made me laugh so hard shajahah

>>5892
and I fully agree with her there
If you need a king of therapy after having sex with your boyfriend something is wrong in your relationship

>>5888
I HATE FORNICATORS I HATE FORNICATORS I HATE FORNICA

>>5895
no i hate abuse :)

Good to know. I think they're going to keep doing it though because there's literally no reason not to devolve into hedonistic hell.

>>5888
I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets grossed out by that word. I don't even know why but it just makes me skin crawl.
BDSM is really gross and it's taking advantage of the mentally ill for sure

aftercare is such a retarded term, yuck..

i mean, its called fucking 'lovemaking' for a reason, beating the shit out of ur gf/SO and then acting all cuddly afterwards has always sounded manipulative to me, ive consistently seen people who make their whole personality about liking BDSM complete degenerates, and im okay with a little pain or whatever during sex but it has to stay intimate.

sounds much more appealing to cuddle and makeout while you fuck, and then cuddle after too.

>>5905
And stay on it dumbass

whaaa you don't have sex like I do stop this at once

>>5914
The thread does seem to imply that women simply cannot like kinky stuff unless they're manipulated into it, which is kinda silly imo.

>>5914
yeah I can do what I want, you just decided that I must be insane and obviously manipulated by evil moid
this stuff reeks of puritanism, people said the same thing about being gay, you must be insane and manipulated you can't just like women!
you don't get it, that's okay, you don't need to tell that everyone who has bad wrong sex is insane

>>5888
>>5889
Shut the fuck up and go back to /feels/.

>>5933
Go back to r9k moider

I fucking hate that word not because of what you said but because I only ever see it in the comments of (consensual) femdom-themed comics or (occasionally) random tweets. It's usually female libs who bring it up alll the time, like, motherfucker, BDSM shit is not healthy, stop trying to push your real-life BDSM shit onto everything. We know some of the things in this comic are fucked up but there's no need to pretend that they're ok as long as you do "aftercare".
And actually I've only noticed it recently. This word didn't use to be everywhere like it is now.

>>5934
You are mentally disturbed and lashing out at everybody. I introduced by boyfriend to BDSM, I was the one who instigated it, because I want that shit. To try and argue this is a moid fantasy or that I'm mentally damaged is fucking insulting and demeaning to my agency, and every other girl's agency here.

>>5943
That's because BDSM wasn't as common as it was now, and normalized to the extent it was. The concept of aftercare being important took off after 50 Shades of Grey was a rip-warring success and actual BDSM people felt it wasn't an accurate depiction of what "healthy BDSM" (if such a thing exists) is.

Therefore, you can blame it all on this book.

>>5985
Even if it's true and you have no mental health issues that lead to the preference and a healthy relationship, it doesn't automatically cancel the fact that BDSM is mostly run by shady men, leading to the massive amounts of victimized women in the community and rape/abuse apologism–of which they run massive campaigns about and insist anyone that isn't a perfect show-dog is not a real BDSMer.

I can respect individual's agency. I just know that a lot of women also go along with it or pretend it's empowering. If it's really good for you…you should just stay TF away from threads like this.

>>5988
What do you think of femdom BDSM?

>>5990
They probably think that the moid manipulates his girlfriend into pegging him or some shit.

It's what makes submissive women think they're being cared and loved for, it's that illusion that the moid that just beat the shit out of your ass and strangled you actually loves you, you know? because he cuddled you for a bit. It's no surprise those kind of women usually suffer from a mental illness and probably loneliness, this way they can get others to harm them instead of doing it themselves, and receive gentle love after, to have the illusion of actually being cared for.

i think they feel like they're being saved from danger, and that's what gives the good chemicals. After that, it's just cope.

>>5985
I'm not the one who enjoys bdsm, hence I'm not the one who is mentally disturbed, be honest with yourself, what you said is a massive cope.
>I introduced by boyfriend to BDSM, I was the one who instigated it, because I want that shit.
So yes, you're the mentally disturbed here, lashing at everyone who doesn't support your sexual perversions by writing silly copes. Just saying, but if your moid gladly agreed to participate in your kinks he's not pure nor he is vanilla, he's glad he's getting laid and hurting you isn't a problem. Yup that's love right there!

>To try and argue this is a moid fantasy or that I'm mentally damaged is fucking insulting and demeaning to my agency, and every other girl's agency here.
No, what's insulting is thinking it's completely fine for a woman to let moids disrespect her. I don't subscribe to liberal feminism retardation with "whatever women like is empowering and feminist uwu!"

>>6192
>because in my experience a lot of trained therapists are pro-kink or kink-tolerant unless you're talking to a christian one
nah that's just because your country is fucked by liberalism

>>6187
>you think wrong! stop it!
Nah, you're mentally ill, just like people insulting gay and lesbians because it's "a perversion" and "degenerate"

>>6215
nice false equivalence

>>6192
Good question, but I think it's as hard to un-do as eating disorders or self harm is. I'm mentally ill myself I just didn't fall for the kink trap. Possibly because I was never sexually abused.

>>6215
"You hate kink because god told you so"
Kinksters are really retarded, aren't they? You sound like you spend too much time on twitter and you can't come up with anything to say so you just call people puritans or christians or boring or vanilla kek. I'm not mentally sound myself but I'm self aware enough to know shit you're enjoying is harmful.

>>6235
Are you drunk? I never accused you of being christians nona, you're just projecting because you spend too much time on twitter

>>6237
>I never accused you of being christians
No but you equated criticism of violent sexual fetishes centered around """fake""" abuse with puritanical homophobia.

>>6240
You've got a source for that? I was never abused and never heavily exposed to porn, yet I still like bdsm
>>6241
People can call being a lesbian perverse and degenerate without being christians. It's just the usual "nooo, I don't like what you're doing stop now!!!"
There's plenty of atheists right wingers, you don't need to bring reigion into it

>>6244
I'm really sorry you got through that, but the fact that you know people into bdsm who have been abused doesn't mean it's true for everyone
I'm really tired of people telling me I must be a victim or mentally ill because I like something in bed that is "wrong" when every other things I have in my life are pefect.
I have never been abused, I have excellent parents, I had an happy childhood, I have a good job that I like, I went to college and got excellent grades, I never suffered for mental illness or anything like it in my life, yet I just must be a victim or mentally ill because I like to be tied up and spanked during sex.

>>5889
>no amount of aftercare will fix the broken mind that gets off to this.
That's true. It can't always be fixed by normal stuff, either, though, so why not try to feel good?
I used to be into BDSM because of trauma shit and just being exposed to inappropriate things from a very young age, then I tried to abandon it all because it was fucked up and I hated myself, and now I just kind of…embrace it. I rarely ever get horny, but when I do, it's almost always for messed up things and it can't be helped but I think that's fine. Truth be told, 90% of my problem with it was the knowledge that it wasn't right, but my feelings on the actions themselves varied a lot.
I wouldn't encourage it, but just because I'm mentally ill doesn't mean I shouldn't ever get to enjoy anything sexual, you know? If I'm not hurting anyone, and the happiness it can give me outweighs the pain, why is it so bad?

>>6248
Yeah sorry, maybe I went a bit hard there, I'm just tired of the subject. Every time it comes up it feel I'm treated like I'm a dangerous mentally ill anti feminist women
You did say that sexual abuse was the "most common reason" for people falling into it though, and I think it's part of the problem and create more stigma.

>>5888
bruh what even is this thread

aftercare is literally just the care you give each other after sex
it's a healthy way to slowely and nicely come down from the high that sex gives you, whether it's vanilla or bdsm sex, because you both were existing in a connecting, loving, sexual and very intimate state. you deserve to relax and come back to the 'normal' state of day to day life and this can take as long as you like

aftercare can look like whatever you want: cuddling on the bed, showering together and cleaning your sweaty bodies, just resting like you do after a workout because some people really work their legs during sex, get your lover a glass of water, etc

and yes, i know, everywhere we look are some rotten apples. rotten apples who use others for their own unhealthy sexual desires and manipulate them into thinking that it's good for them, while it's not, but make it all 'good' after the unhealthy sex by giving them 'aftercare'

these rotten apples exist, yes, but don't generalize them because not everyone who's into aftercare or bdsm is bad and toxic

also, all these bdsm haters i meet describe bdsm as this very abusive, beating up and traumatizing woman thing, like it only consists of fysical torture that's been done to a woman who thinks she wants it but doesn't really and only partakes in it because she's manipulated into thinking she enjoys it

like, come one, have you ever taken the time to read about what bdsm actually is?
did you know bdsm can be as soft and extreme as you want it to be? did you know bdsm doesn't have to be sexual? did you know bdsm isn't only about inflicting pain? did you know that being a dominant doesn't mean you have to be aggressive with your submissive? have you heard of sensation play?

i'm sure a lot of vanilla folks have done bdsm without knowing it because they just have the wrong idea about bdsm because bdsm isn't only this extreme and painful thing, but it can be. and mentally ill people exist everywhere, both in the vanilla and bdsm world

>>6257
Your kink brainrot is very visible, go back to twitter

>>6237
I may be or may not be drunk but you're definitely retarded

You know that not every person into BDSM is into hard impact play or extreme things? Most people just stay in the "light" aspect of BDSM.
I've been a domme and usually what I like is to take control, maybe tease a little and a slap here and there, but that's it, I would never actually harm my partner. I have spoke with a lot of people into BDSM and usually the most extreme aspect (hard impact play, cutting, anything with blood, etc) is out of their limits and even if they're curious, they never feel comfortable trying anything like that because they know it isn't good.
I would say the problem isn't BDSM itself, the problem are those who use BDSM as an excuse to be abusive and then just pretend it was just part of a scene. And believe, if you have explored BDSM communities in your city, you'll know that there is a lot of people who are just abusive people using BDSM as an excuse, but not everyone is like that. Another problem is young girls (18-early 20s) who read some BDSM book, watch hentai or anything like that and then want to try it, but they feel like they need to try ANYTHING for their dom partners, which is something I've notice is pretty common in people who started in BDSM at a young age, and especially subs, because their mindset usually is that they need to please their partner no matter what, which is a awful when you have a potential abusive dom/domme. That's what I always advice people curious about BDSM to only try it with their SO, because it needs to be with someone who you can trust

>>6683
>notallmen
no1curr

I love BDSM in practice and in fantasy. I hate the “BDSM community”. I hate how a handy umbrella term for kinks involving power play has been permanently associated with public sex groups. There’s no “anal community” or anything else like that. It’s cringe. I blame gay moids and their casual sex leather clubs.

>>6689
>I hate the “BDSM community”. I hate how a handy umbrella term for kinks involving power play has been permanently associated with public sex groups
Me too, sadly when I was younger I fell for the "look for local communities, you'll have fun xd" but quickly realized how shitty those commuities are.

>>5990
not her but it's not difficult. most moids will try anything and any ones worth keeping around will be hooked on it if you do it right.

>>7387
What's "doing it right"?

>>5895
me too, anon.. me too

Why does everything need a stupid little community around it? You are right, terms like aftercare or safeword are all stupid astroturfed inorganic bullshit. Its like a corporate committee goes around designing these subcultures un order to sell things.

And yeah it does seem like something that only benefits moids, just an off the shelf prepackaged mental-model moids can "buy" and circumvent any actual personality or creativity when it comes to flair, romance, and lovemaking.
The distastefulness of casual sex aside, I write off things like this alongside generic flowers-and-dinner low effort instanturnoff they've been conditioned my media into using to generate the most sex for the least effort and thought.
Stop using other people's terms, stop using other peoples ideas and tropes, you disgusting zombies.

>>11264
Most moids are just going to copy what they see, either from violent pornography or just from the way relationships are portrayed on countless Netflix shows.

On "safewords" and other cringey cookie cutter crap, I think they just need to start thinking for themselves a little more instead

The term "breathplay" makes me feel sick to my stomach. It's a commonly accepted, "sexy" euphemism for strangling your partner. So fucking disgusting.

>>11299
Always choke your moid

>>5903
Its necessary because everyone is just fucking random people now. Obviously its not your husband or wife, so cuddling has to be negotiated on, to mitigate the emotional terror that comes afterwards.

>>11299
Or also causing deliberate carbon monoxide poisoning to a person

proper 'aftercare' should be falling asleep together from exhaustion while cuddling

>>12314
Real