[ Rules / FAQ ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / x ]

/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

*Text* => Text

**Text** => Text

***Text*** => Text

[spoiler]Text[/spoiler] => Text

Direct Link
Options NSFW image
Sage (thread won't be bumped)

Janitor applications are open

Check the Catalog before making a new thread.
Do not respond to maleposters. See Rule 7.
Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021


Anonymous 53820

Any of you ladies have male friends?

What is your relationship with them like?

Is the friendship different from the one you have with your female friends?

Anonymous 53821

I have a guy friend who’s gay. It’s not really much different from when I had girl friends. I don’t have guy friends anymore because they eventually confessed feelings and just made it weird.

Anonymous 53822

I have exclusively (straight) male friends, it's tragic. But I only talk with three regularly.
They're generally nice, with two of them I can have emotional conversations. Mostly because one is very close (my bestie) and the other is just sensitive in general. The third is a great guy and, though we don't get too personal, he cares a lot about world issues and justice. But we mainly just have a laugh. The others are distant-but-there pals so we just have idle chit-chat.

Them falling for me is rarely an issue (afaik), but I've fallen for a few. Currently in love with the sensitive boy which is annoying.

Compared to female friendships that I've had in the past, I actually wouldn't say it's that different. Maybe they're less excited for me to mention cute guys, but that's it.

Anonymous 53823

Yeah, that's likely. I'm pretty average. I've been cold approached at random before and have had friends who were…weird (one called me cute very often and smothered me with attention, one stares at my tits when talking to me)…but no big confessions from any pals. I'd say that puts me at a 5.

Anonymous 53824

>made it weird
Like, they just said it once and put it behind them, or they started stalking you?

Anonymous 53825

Most of my friends as a child were male, but as we got older they distanced themselves from me. Weirdly enough, all of those boys ended up coming out as gay in their late teens/early 20’s.
I do have male friends now, but now that I think about it I have no straight, single male friends that I haven’t met through my boyfriend.

Anonymous 53826

They made it weird by being awkward when it didn’t have to be awkward at all. I understand if they felt a little embarrassed or something after I politely rejected them, but… it just sucks. So our friendship would eventually fade. I hope that made some sense.

Anonymous 53827

My issue with male friends is that it's hard to know whether they like you just for you or if their liking is just kind of a byproduct of wanting to fuck you.

At least with women I know for a fact they don't like me, so I don't have any female friends.

Anonymous 53828

>I know for a fact they don't like me
Meet the closeted carpet muncher

Anonymous 53829


lol. The few female friends I have had, have been either bi or lesbian.

Anonymous 53830

men and women cant…

Anonymous 53831


Anonymous 53832

it CAN happen, but only if the girl is not attractive to the dude which poses the question why the hell would he prefer her company than one of his hobby buddies or another men

the answer is if they both share a hobby or common interest that qualifies the unattractive girl to be "one of the boys" status

or if a man has happy relationship that fulfills his sexual needs

Anonymous 53833

i am unable to trust women due to internalized sexism/bad childhood, so most friends ive had were male

when i was younger most of them were very confused, as in thinking that because they liked me (as a friend), it meant they had to be sexually attracted to me just because i was a girl and they were a boy.
now that im older, this gender expectation fell through, and they dont feel confused about their feelings anymore.
theyare super cool, i adore them and they are my bros. i feel at ease with them and we have a great dynamic.

in comparison to my female friends, i guess i feel more at ease with them because i feel like they are more honest, and they wont gossip behind my back. i can be myself around them and they wont care. i see them as an equal and not a rival. this is all probably the bad childhood/sexism speaking but i have a much easier time trusting men (as friends) than women.

Anonymous 53834

yes, i was in a friend group of all emo men, most of them wounded up to be pretty shitty people one was an abusive narcissist one was misogynist and call me terrible things everyday with anger issues the other was the most emotionally immature tone deaf person in the world im only still friends with one of them whos only flaw is to still associating with those people, now I kinda only hang out with my bf's friends because im pretty lonley and dont have friends at school so my default i now have new male friends, but none of my internet friends are straight men, there all girls and gays

Anonymous 53835

This one guy who I've been friends with for a ew years, we met u again recently and walked around the outskirts of town. it was nice, we were gonna get high but didnt have anything.
recently hes been dropping hints athat he migh actually be into me :) which is cool.
i dont have many female friends because guys are normally funnier and i can get along with them better.

Anonymous 53836

Are these all the same poster? It weirds me out how their posting style is the same

Anonymous 53837

I've had male friends but I vastly prefer female ones. It's easier to have stupid fun with females and there's never any awkward feelings between us. Every male "best friend" I've ever had just ended up having a crush on me, and I had to drop them entirely since they usually get extremely pissy at getting rejected.

Anonymous 53838

same here. i used to think wow maybe im attractive but nah, all dudes are like this with their females friends unless they're gay

Anonymous 53839

I have one male friend whom I've been friends with for just shy of ten years. He's a good guy. I can be myself around him more than my female friends, who tend to be a little more sensitive.

Anonymous 53840

No man likes knowing you wouldn't consider fucking him.
No man likes hearing about your other male friends.
No man likes hearing about your boyfriend or past boyfriends.
Stop searching for male friends.
- Someone with 38 years of experience.

Anonymous 53842

then that personality of yours must be pretty obnoxious

Anonymous 53843

This is just illogical.
Not all straight men want to fuck all women. I know from experience.

I know I have male friends who have never been into me and I'm not even fat or deformed; I just have a polarizing look and personality.


I dont have any female friends I'm close to. My best friend is a guy… I mean, idk how it's different. It's just nice. We've lived together for years so we are very comfortable spending absurd amounts of time with each other

Anonymous 53845

Oh, anon. I know because I confessed or sloppily flirted and they just weren't interested (despite being single and straight).
I'm sure I also have friends who are into me, but definitely not all.

Anonymous 53846

I have exclusively online male friends, but only a few. We bonded due to having an interest in music, which is mainly what we talk about. It's nice.

Anonymous 53847

I no longer associate with men in a friendly manner. Every single man I have befriended eventually expected something sexual from me. This goes for co-workers as well. It is never respectful either. The sexual things my male friends have propositioned me have been wicked. Really gross stuff. I am married with kids but it doesnt stop them. They really have zero shame! I honestly believe that men cannot see me as a true friend. Every single one has showed me ulterior motives. So, I decided to keep all of them at an arms length. Life has been a lot better.

Anonymous 53848

Kinda interesting,I never experienced anything like that myself.

Anonymous 53849

The idea of a mature fully grown adult, married with children, posting on an image board is such a strange thing. Were you an image board user before your life settled down?

Anonymous 53850

NTAYRT, but more people who are married, have children, or have settled down post on imageboards than you may think. Some of us have been using imageboards since the 2000s when they were still a relatively niche thing.

Anonymous 53851


anyone got male asexual friends?

Anonymous 53852

Fucking bizarre. My mental image of the average “anon” will perpetually be a early-20-something white boy who doesn’t shower enough

Anonymous 53853

what would a male asexual even be like? a guy's sex drive is like… 90% of his identity lol

Anonymous 53854

I’ve met two male asexuals completely by coincidence.

Anonymous 53855

male asexuals are usually schizoid a.k.a don't want to have anything to do with people so they're unlikely to be your friend.

Anonymous 53856

Yes, or at least I think one is. Sometimes i suspect he may just be acting like the fox with the grapes though, because he is honestly really ugly so he may have either completely given up, or he may just be hiding his failures under this guise.

Anonymous 53857

i would assume it's the latter.

Anonymous 53858

wow this is awful
probably why i always feel better around female friends.

Anonymous 53859

i have one, met him on highschool. he just feels like a gay friend but without the flamboyant personality of a gay guy. he just talks about his interests, no simping over a girl whatsoever. he's just chill and annoying (but in a good way)

he's sorta feminine though, as in, he can't help you when you need to lift a heavy thing-also because he's a wimp.

Anonymous 53860

I have a friend who is male and has a LOT of female friends. He is into art/music and photography. He loves to make friends with females with the same interests and include him in his art. Mostly Music art. He loves singers and ALWAYS keeps in platonic as he does not want to ruin the "vibe" of being artistic creative and productive. I say it is totally possible if the two work towards a common goal together especially if it revolves around a creative outlet

Anonymous 53861

Friendships between guys and girls and exist but in my experience theyre either really fragile or the guy wants sex/romance. In highschool we had a group very close group of friends, girls and guys. We did everything together, we all thought of eachother as friends and so on. 10 years later the girls are all still friends with eachother, the guys are friends with eachother, but no girl is still close to any of the guys.

To me good male-female friendships are like unicorns, I keep hearing girls say their best friend is a guy, that theyve been friends with a guy for 10 years and theres been no sexual or romantic intent there and so on. I think most of them are tragically mistaking. I know a guy who's been friends with a girl for over 5 years. Youd think they just have a nice platonic relationship, right? No, the guy had a fucking crush on her for 5 years. Another instance, I know a guy whos been very good friends with a girl for years, helped eachother through bad shit and so on. I once asked him if hed have a romantic relationship with her if she was interested and he went "absolutely".

I have a lot of these stories, because Ive been fairly close to a lot of guys, mostly because we were parts of the same groups of friends. I think this is the closest you can get to being friends with a guy without any feelings or sexual urges being involved.

I think the best way to put it is that, generally speaking, guys are willing and able to have purely platonic interactions with girls, but they wont go out of their way to talk to you if theyre not interested in you, sexually or romantically. So you can get close to a guy if circumstances encourage you to interact with eachother (coworkers, boyfriends friends etc), but once those circumstances change they usually wont make any efforts to stay in touch if they dont wanna sex you.
>but what if he finds me very interesting or we have common interests and passions or etc
Then thats probably gonna make him want to sex you. I realize there are probably outliers, but at this point Id just say theyre the exception that confirms the rule. Every time I had a friend of mine say she had a male friend it always turned out the guy had some feelings for her or just wanted to fuck her. Or it was just a one sided relationship where she always initiated and he just went along because they were coworkers or something like that.

Anonymous 53862

>but what if he finds me very interesting or we have common interests and passions or etc
>Then thats probably gonna make him want to sex you.
This. I've heard from several guys something to the effect of "if I like someone enough to be friends with them, why wouldn't I wanna date them?" Many times, phrased in slightly different ways. I kinda wonder if that means guys literally don't see a difference between friends who have sex and a real relationship.
Then again most people who are friends with benefits don't actually seem to be very good friends in the first place, so they might actually be onto something.

Anonymous 53863


I have at least three close male friends, they all live pretty far from me and we their own romantic lives so I don't see our friendship getting ruined. I can regularly talk about my feelings and so can they without issue. All the successful male friends I've had have been with guys who have their own lives and aren't neets.

Anonymous 53864

Romance, commitment, and/or semantics.

Anonymous 53865

I have almost exclusively male friends, but I really want more female friends. With men, I feel as though they're easier to befriend but that's usually only because they're using the opportunity to pressure me sexually/romantically, and I can't fully empathize with them and knowing they view the world in such a different way that me is disheartening. They are less stressful than my female friendships though, maybe this is because I find it easier to be casual and distant.

Anonymous 53866

It's not an ulterior motive. It's the only motive.

The reasons for a man to be friends with a woman are:
A. working up the courage
B. waiting for the "right moment"
C. looking for a relationship rather than just sex and trying to demonstrate this by not proposing anything sexual right away (this is basically A with mental gymnastics)
D. interested in a relationship and scoping things out before committing

This should be mandatory viewing for everyone.

He's gay.

Anonymous 53867

You can have male friends but only if clear boundaries are established

Anonymous 53868

I've got a couple male friends that I met through work. One of them is younger than me by a few years and the other a little bit older than me.
My friendship with the older one is very casual, we get along because we have a shared interest. We meet up once a week with other friends of ours and it's all fun and games.
The younger one is a bit more of a sensitive person so he often vents to me and shares his emotions, which I don't really mind. I'm often told that I'm good at "being there" for people when needed so I figure that for him I just might be that person in his life.

For me my friendships with males are a lot different than my friendships with girls actually. I feel more emotionally comfortable with other girls, so I'm able to vent and cry to them and talk passionately about the things I like, whereas with males I rarely even think of doing so. I think it has something to do with making myself appear vulnerable to other people. For some reason it feels okay and even natural with girls, but with men it seems scary.

Anonymous 53869

All my male friends are ex-military, so it's kind of weird. When they banter with me they are the most homoerotic, homophobic, sexist, racist assholes on the planet who absolutely shred me with insults any time I mess up, but in all other circumstances are incredibly sweet, polite, protective and respectful. Aside from one of their girlfriend's who happens to be an ex-neonazi, I don't think I've ever met a woman who would ever say, even anonymously, half the shit they say to my face.

Strangely the biggest difference that I've noticed between my male and female friends is the level of mutual respect. With the guys they all have opinions, but if I want to do something and believe in it, they will 100% back me with absolute conviction and treat me like an equal. With the girls they all have an opinion and if I want to do something even one of them doesn't agree with on whatever level, we are paralysed as everyone treats my decision like it's a democratic debate, voted on by everyone.

Anonymous 53870

Since 99% of the time it is rather one-sided affection and no friendship at all. In cases like that, imagine putting someone in position of non-enjoying self-masochist and calling yourself their friend.
This is plainly vile.

Anonymous 53871


>have a bunch of male friends I play vidya with and share memes
>havent had a real female friend who i connected with deeply in years
>the friends I do have browse reddit and twitter and watch shit anime
>connecting with girls is really hard because I always feel insecure and inferior to them
>tfw no imageboard girl friend

Anonymous 53872


The fact is that imageboard friends also watch shit anime, they're just don't admit it.

[Return] [Catalog]
[ Rules / FAQ ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / x ]