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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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News: /cgl/ has been merged with /hb/.
Please read the rules! Last update: 01/18/2019

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Anonymous 20100[Reply]

>used to unironically use twitter
>find a guy who posts haha funney tweets
>we become friends & talk on discord alot
>we e-date for like 2 days and i send him a pic of my face
>realize that we want to just be friends
>later in the relationship i do stupid shit like block him a few times
>block him out of anxiety again and fuck up more
>he has no faith in the relationship and doesnt want to be friends anymore oh no shit shit shit.jpg
>2-3ish months later
>one of his friends posts a picture of my face to troll me
>my stomach hurts and my head stings.jpg
>a day later i confront him about it and he explains
>tells me that him and his friend were in a call and that they wanted to troll me and that he gave his friend a picture of my face willingly
>what the fuck
>he kind of apologizes but not really
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
6 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 20122

>mostly just says stuff like ''oh yea i suck im a horrible person look at me im self aware"

This translates to "I know I'm an asshole, but I don't want to work on myself, so I'm just letting you know so that in the future I can refer to my disclaimer and you only have yourself to blame when I inevitably hurt you". I've met many guys (and some girls) like this and it's always the same. They refuse to take responsibility for their actions or check their own behavior.

Anonymous 20132

It's because of these people that I am too paranoid to have friends. Even if someone acknowledges that they are behaving in an unambiguously bad way they still do it. If I spend time with someone or make myself vulnerable to them then it's only a matter of time before they take advantage of me, steal from me, assault me etc.

Anonymous 20150

I stopped feeling bad for you once I read the part about you consistently blocking him over your mental problems.

I’ve known morons like that and I always ghost them. Not saying what he did was any more forgivable but you’re still an idiot.

Anonymous 20324

its ok i understand i agree im dumb alckjd ksjxclCK

Anonymous 20332

Anon? Are you OK?

Photo 11-01-2019, …

/cutting/ Anonymous 20221[Reply]

Does anyone do this? I have to hide my legs for the rest of my life, kill me

Anonymous 20222

cutting is always one of the things that i just can't seem to make sense out of. even suicide i understand but cutting i don't. like if you want a physical representation of your pain then why don't you like draw or something. or hurt other people instead of hurting yourself. back then when i used to have my episodes i fantasized about hurting people and doing generally bad things a lot and it helped.

Anonymous 20223

I don't hate anyone but I hate myself, I don't want to see anyone else get hurt

Anonymous 20224

the reason you hate yourself obviously isn't yourself. someone is always responsible for these types of things.

Anonymous Moderator 20248

Please use >>>/feels/11340


Anonymous 20225[Reply]

>don't like lesbians or bisexuals
>have been vehement about this in the past
>start liking a real, average woman
Is this karma? I'm definitely not a lesbian, but I don't like the fact that I am attracted to a woman and it upsets me. How do I stop feeling this way?

Anonymous 20226


you just have internalized homophobia or something
>how do i stop feeling this way
you don't, just accept who you are now. maybe think about your life closely & figure out why you've vilified wlw, see if you've done so to keep yourself from accepting self truths, etc etc.
please know that there's nothing wrong with being gay or bi. girls are beautiful!

Anonymous 20230


>have been vehement about disliking lesbians in the past
>you just have internalized homophobia or something
The "or something" part really makes this.

All secret service agencies of all superpowers have it as solid proof you can convert 99% of any people to anything with enough time and correct exposure and that sexuality is two steps away from a meme, and now with the internet it's being publicly documented in real time.

Some YouTube, twitter, tumblr, whatever users have such long archives you can get a summary of their entire life and they go from vanilla beckys to anarcho-lesbians to staunch tradwives to transcommies to some other thing that conflicted with their previous ways within five years.

OP is probably an under-stimulated suburbanite who saw some attractive mom and is having the delicious "oh nooo this is sooo wrong I'm straight though??" thing running its course.

>How do I stop feeling this way?

You'll be over it in a week to a year.


Paranoid Boyfriend Anonymous 17151[Reply]

>Start dating this guy, he's really attractive and loves me
>He is also a national socialist, I am fine with this
>He joins a political movement in his country doing activism, I am also fine with this
>Starts to get paranoid, thinks people are monitoring our calls and texts, tells me to start using encrypted email with him
>Starts telling me he's worried for my safety and that the secret police in his country are gonna detain me and everyone he loves because of his activism
>Starts corresponding with political criminals
>In a call one day hear sounds, ask what they are
>He tells me he's checking for wire taps
>Occasionally he calls me up frantically warning me to "get out of the country as soon as possible"

Does anyone else have this problem? Any advice? I don't want to dump him because I love him but I wish he wouldn't get so paranoid and weird. I am worried about the people he is hanging with tbh he says he can't not do activism or he'll hate himself.
21 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 19581

I don't think anyone claims environment has NO effect, just that nature has more effect than left-wing people would acknowledge.
Nor does anyone claim "only the white genes are necessary for success".

It's okay to be ignorant of other people's views, but not when you decide to take a firm stance against (or in favour of) them.

Anonymous 20184

He sounds like Romanian, they're awful people. Don't get involved with them if he is one.

Anonymous 20185

No, you're just racist. Every Romanian I've ever met has been lovely.

Anonymous 20186

He's either nuts or a criminal. Not good for the long term either way. Dump his ass and find someone who isn't overly invested in politics, particularly Nazi politics. Christ.

Anonymous 20187

>particularly Nazi politics
Eh, the Catholics, Muslims and Hindus supported them, helped establish animal rights, put humans on the Moon, they're not all bad.
He's probably just a little stressed or something and needs to start a family rather than play modern spy.


Anonymous 20107[Reply]

I need some help because I have serious behavior issues that I don't know how to fix.

I get upset very easily (especially when I misunderstand a situation) and my anger escalates very quickly. From a normal conversation to me yelling,slamming doors, throwing things, crying, etc. I did some online CBT for a few months which helped me realize the root of this problem but it's flared up again. I think this is just my poor personality and I need to practice more awareness and self-control.

Does anyone have thought exercises they could suggest?

I also act extremely erratically (being extremely violent, yelling, breaking things,crying loudly for hours) and completely forgot them. This was partially substance based as I started drinking too much, but I'm sober now and I still have these blackouts. I'll remember everything up to and after the freak-out, but my bad behavior is a complete blank, even right after it happens.

I also try to set it up to look as if I'm the vulnerable/hurt party in these episodes.

Wtf is this? Is there a name for this? I want to go to therapy badly but going could cost me my job and I live paycheck to paycheck. :(

(I'm not sure if this belongs here or in /hb/, but it feels more advice-oriented so I posted it here.)

Anonymous 20108

Are you me? I have the same things happen and I was diagnosed with bipolar. It can be stabled out by medicine though. That and therapy.
It feels like an uncontrollable anger probably but it'll take effort even with medicine and therapy.

Anonymous 20111

Histrionic Personality Disorder

Whenever you feel yourself getting angry, think of trashy TV shows like Maury or Jerry Springer and think of the human garbage on those shows fighting and arguing for the amusement of others. Realize that what you're doing, to an outsider, looks like that sort of behavior.

Don't go overboard and start doubting everything you do, just acknowledge that outward displays of anger really solves anything.

Anonymous 20114


Oh fugg, that's not what I wanted to hear. But I've been told I seem bipolar and that's why I did the online therapy. But it didn't really work because I couldn't self-report a lot of my episodes because I didn't remember them.

Anonymous 20131


I'll look into it. I don't even realize I've raised my voice until someone points it out, though.

Anonymous 20209

This thread is making me realize the obvious: I have two distinct problems. The anger control problems, and then the dangerous black outs where I'm violent, loud, and instigate physical fights.

They may be related, but I think they may be separate problems since they're on such different levels. Earlier this week I had an episode where I was yelling, shouting,attacked someone I live with, and then opened the windows and cried loudly for a full hour. The next day I only suspected something had happened because my eyes were puffy as if I had been crying.

I've done better this week with the anger by being more aware of what's happening and trying to actively listen. But I have slipped up a few times.


Why should anyone just unconditionally love themselves? Anonymous 19908[Reply]

I just don't get it. What reason is there not to loathe yourself if you genuinely have loathsome aspects about yourself? Everyone says that it's wrong to hate yourself, but why? Sure, it's unfortunate, but is it really WRONG?
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 19935

Sometimes people say something like
>if you have bad self esteem, you need to improve yourself to someone you respect

Which is good and all, self improvement is good, but a healthy self love and a good self esteem are actually necessary to learn new things and to improve. Who is actually going to learn to play an instrument or some special skill? The sad person who says "I'm worthless and ugly" or the one who says "fuck yeah I'm awesome!"? Self hate is a terrible cycle that causes stagnation which causes more reason to hate yourself. Even if it's lying or something, most people have strong healthy egos that value itself.

I think learning to be "humble", trying not to be "narcisstic", trying to be "realistic" about my value as a person and reading a Wikipedia article about cognitive dissonance in highschool really messed with my self esteem for the rest of adolescence and early adulthood. You need to compliment yourself and give yourself credit, doubly so if you don't have a family or community giving you props regularly.

Anonymous 19937

Disliking yourself mildly is normal and healthy, it's what drives self-improvement. Hating yourself is pointless and unproductive.

Anonymous 19958

I don't think you need to love yourself to be happy and loved, especially unconditionally. But you need to understand and accept yourself as you are. Being critical of your shortcomings is important for self improvement, but nobody has only flaws without virtues.

People constantly shoving unconditional self-love down your throat and saying nobody will love you unless you love yourself are stupid and wrong because it's not true. You can absolutely be loved without loving yourself, and you can love yourself unconditionally despite being an absolute piece of shit, but you won't be good at accepting others and growing as a person unless you accept yourself and recognise that there are things about you worth loving.
We are social creatures so it's natural that we depend on others' validation, and a lack of social life or support system can leave you feeling worthless. You simply can't love yourself if you have no external emotional feedback, and it doesn't mean nobody will love you ever again.

Finally, if there are serial killers in prison getting marriage proposals, there's hope for you too.

Anonymous 19970

How does one hate themselves exactly? I can understand if you've orchestrated some kind of genocide or purposefully fucked over peoples' lives, but what could the average person do that is so heinous, the only way to redemption is through self hatred?

Anonymous 19978

Hating yourself is as retarded as loving yourself tbh. The whole thing is just narcissism.


loner feels/mentally ill feels Anonymous 19914[Reply]

Is anyone here a loner/hikki/neet or similar? I have severe anxiety problems and I get panic attacks easily when I leave my house that have just gotten worse over the years that I have been out of high school. I won't lie and say that this lifestyle is nice, a lot of the time when I get in my bed to sleep I start crying pretty hard about how this all ended up so terribly, but I couldn't imagine not being a friendless shut-in like I am now. I haven't heard from any of my high school friends in over a year (I'm 22), I think they finally gave up and forgot about me after I just ignored them so much in order to stay inside. I'm at the point where having a boyfriend is like an eternal noon-time fantasy fueled by anime romance tropes and I'll never have the guts to pursue a boy for real, I "dated" a few guys online but those all fell through because they wanted to meet me or just go further than text which is way too much pressure for me. I don't even care about sex, not like I really ever did much since I'm a virgin and it doesn't bother me at all. Anyway, you all seem to have your lives together and I guess it makes me a bit depressed, so I'm just looking for anons to relate to.
13 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 19953

I was in a pretty similar situation before I got my first job at 23 going on 24. I couldn't even imagine working before now I work 40 hrs a week and plan on getting a second job on top of it I'm still a friendless loser but I've met a few people who were cool and wanted to be my friend and even had opportunities to date. It didn't work out because of insecurities opening up and social retardation, but it gives me hope for the future.

I was kind of forced out by financial hardships, but I think you can overcome without that push. Get out of the house, at the very least br productive in the house. Cook, clean, improve yourself. I'm sure you just sleep all day and post online. Make a small step at a time. If all else fails just get meds.

You still have plenty of time to turn it around.

Anonymous 19967

Any plans for today neets? I just poured the kettle into the teapot for some peppermint green tea.

Anonymous 19971

Woke up at 6am, browsed the internet, had a can of soup, probably gonna go nap in a couple hours, tonight is potato for dinner and I have lots of sour cream and bacon which I am looking forward to, dinner is usually the highlight of my every day.

Anonymous 19972

I woke up at a quarter to 5 and checked the internet for news and updates and took my medicine. Then went back to sleep until 8:30.

Dinner is nice. I think I'll have a couple of tacos tonight with sour cream and refried beans and all the cheese. I might get spicy and put some Carolina Reaper puree on it. I love all those things.

Anonymous 19973

Woke up at 1 pm, went back to sleep until 3:15, then vacuumed my apartment, took a shower and that's all for today.

Anonymous 19874[Reply]

What do you think of Stacy’s speech about how we should feel bad for her because she’s beautiful and that alienates her?
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 19882

psh, she is not that pretty

Anonymous 19883

Are you for real… Makes me sad when girls say a literal model is "not that pretty". She's conventionally attractive, even if she doesn't fit your standards.

Anonymous 19884

I've had a few girls tell me that I look like a model or I could be a model, honestly I don't think they know beauty, if being a model is just looking average and being thin then that's nothing special, most people could achieve that.

Anonymous 19889

You know what else alienates people?
Being ugly.
Being ugly doesn't come with the myriad of benefits though.

Anonymous 19901

I think it's actually evenly split fatty-chans and ana-chans from what I can tell.


IT’S FUCKING OVER HELP Anonymous 16409[Reply]

I met a perfect boy at uni. At first I just noticed him because he is the absolute most handsome guy I’ve ever seen. Call me superficial but that alone made me develop a crush. I sort of tried to forget about him since I didn’t think it would go anywhere and tried to tell myself that he probably was a jerk anyway.

However, I was grouped with him and a few other girls for some group assignment, and he turned out to be the nicest person I’ve ever met. He’s ridiculously funny, interesting, cultured, creative (turns out he’s actually semi-famous in multiple fields), exciting, smart, he just has literally everything going for him. I’m not the most beautiful girl ever but I take care of myself (I’m skinny, have very well maintained natural blonde hair, blue eyes etc.). Acne has slways been a problem but after meeting this guy my face was finally clearing up. I suggested that everyone in the group exchanged numbers and everyone obliged.

Then the guy started texting (actually whatsapp which is the norm in my country but whatever) me. Mostly school stuff but also some personal things. He’d always reply to me right away, never left me on read, and was always willing to help and when I helped him he was super grateful and cute about it. I’ve never had text contact as good as this. He’d always say hi to me when we ran into each other, and in class he’d letvme sit with him. If he was talking to other people he’d always try to make me a part of the conversation too.

It got even better when I found out he was basically pure (yes meme af I know, you know what I mean). He was very serious about hygiene (he talked about how he disliked visiting friends who didn’t clean their rooms properly), wasn’t active on FB, IG or dating apps, isn’t part of a frat, and disliked weed (he does drink though but so do I so ehrm yeah). He also never mentioned a gf or anything like that.

The thing is, despite growingsomewhat close he never asked me out or anything and I was afraid to ask him out because I’m not sure if I’m worthy of him and came to the conclusion that he might be gay or something and I didn’t want to embarrass him. He was literally too perfect to not have a gf.

Then it all went wrong.

Last night I went out for drinks with a few uni friends and afterwards walked back to the train station (I don’t live in my uni’s city, I live with my parents in my hometown (which is completely normal in my country, the boy does the samPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
94 posts and 11 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 19633

>What if I told you that individual men have different preferences and that some prefer ginger girls or swarthy Italian girls over blonde girls?
While this is true, the way east asian, middle-eastern, indian, black, and dark hispanic men worship white blonde women en masse is fucking cringe lol. They pass up beautiful women of their own kind for a mediocre bottle-blonde with ass-injections everyday. Instagram, twitch and twitter have basically catalogued this phenomenon in detail.

Anonymous 19681

>worship white blonde women en masse is fucking cringe
I've always wanted to know though, why is this considered bad? We live in a predominantly Western hegemonic world where American media and many Western companies dominate the globe. People "worship" those they perceive to be in power. That's just how it is. If the world had been conquered and colonized by Africans, non-African men would chase after black-haired African women instead.

Anonymous 19864

>I've always wanted to know though, why is this considered bad?
Not bad, just cringe.
Doesn't help the whole multicultural/diversity thing neither when they're basically breeding themselves out lol. A lot, like, easily 7 out of 10 non-white successful men in movies, sports, whatever, go on about being role models for their community and championing their culture/race and then just have a white wife and three half-white children, some of which have light eyes and skin that is seven shades lighter than their father.

It'd be like if white guys in the mainstream were going on about their image and being a role model for young men that look like them, then in high numbers were only marrying and having mixed kids with non-white women.

Anonymous 19887



No pls
Each thread has a lot of content and discussion. It would be sad if they all got rounded up and hauled. Also, it's not like we have that much traffic, that we have to prune down on threads.


dowman <3

Anonymous 19896

this dog is cute & you have good taste in manga so i agree with your opinions fren


Say something positive about yourself Anonymous 13550[Reply]

Sometimes it's good to be a little self indulgent for a while - share some things about yourself that you love!

It could be about your appearance, personality, talents, skills, traits etc, anything to make you feel good and to share some positive energy around.
26 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 13888

If you are bad at using the internet then obviously the first step is to git gud at using the internet. It's easy, you just write in whatever you need and perhaps add tutorial and then search through all the results and you will find something useful, eventually you will get better at finding what you need more quickly

Anonymous 13890

I did exercise yesterday and had a wonderful day with my dad and his girlfriend.

Anonymous 13895

i'm a beautiful, cool, intelligent girl. also i just wanna say im new here and it's awesome that there is a girl chan. men too much sometimes

Anonymous 19866

>My hair is shiny and healthy and I'm proud of it.
>I care deeply about animals and animal welfare.
>I think my face has nice proportions but would look beautiful if I lost weight.

That's all I got, ladies.

Anonymous 19892

I'm smart and getting smarter by the day!

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