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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

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Regrets Anonymous 663[Reply]

what do you regret, anons?
100 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 76162

i regret wasting my weekend. i have 3 tests coming up and i just laid in bed basically. didnt hang out with my family or nothing. what the fuck is wrong with me this weekend…

Anonymous 76249

>>76151
Good pay honestly

Not like I'm not doing well, but I feel like I could be much better off with the same amount of effort

Anonymous 76290

shes kinda literally me

Anonymous 76292

I missed my friend's discord call today because discord glitched out. I felt really bad that I couldn't have been there for her when she needed me. Plus, her even wanting to call is like a rare limited time event, and I've missed talking to her. I really want to be there for my friends all the time, but that can't be healthy I guess.

>>76290
Who, girl in OP? Shinobu from Onii-sama e?

Anonymous 77451

i regret letting people get to me when i was a child and giving up art, i went back 3 years ago but i'm still bitter about it. it's not even the only thing i gave up in my teens i gave up everything and even though i'm gradually building myself up it still haunts me



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Anonymous 76868[Reply]

i’m romantically interested in a mutual on twitter who continuously posts about wanting a girlfriend/wife. how do i get into his pants when we’ve never even talked before?
17 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 77137

>>77104
fuck now I wish I had twitter to cop a bf. when you said a mutual on twitter, was it a guy you knew in person, or just online and you saw he lived close to you?

Anonymous 77138

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>>77137
>>77104
>when your image doesn't attach
didn't know quick reply and the top of the page weren't the same

Anonymous 77153

>>77137
the latter

Anonymous 77693

Update? Did u go out together

Anonymous 77708

>>77693
I'm interested too, even if I am mad jealous.



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friendless feels Anonymous 7474[Reply]

the title says it all.

i ended up scrolling through the account of someone a few years younger than me and saw posts like pic related…just people (kids i guess) having fun with their friends and it made me sad because i never got to have that ):


can anyone relate?
also, general friendless anon thread.
286 posts and 56 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 58674

I envy the bond they have. The last friendship I ever had was back in high school and she was just a bitch. So mean for no reason.

Anonymous 73552

>>58674
I envy people with good friends more than I envy happy couples. I wish I had a really trustworthy sweet girl best friend to share a house with.

Anonymous 77564

DrKJylhUcAAqblA.jp…

been three years and i'm still friendless. not even sure what's changed in my life, except that i'll have a degree soon (cs, i know jack shit about it though kek). so anxious and nervous. people posting fun caps from their group chats still makes me feel miserable.

i won't give up though.

Anonymous 77566

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>>77564
this is almost impressive in a way, i think. i can't consider any of the "friends" i had in high-school actual friends (friends don't talk about you behind your back, right? you can talk about serious things with actual friends, yes? they won't shut you down if you try to vent). but if that's my criteria…then even before that, in middle school, i didn't have any actual friends. so i've been friendless since i was 11ish or so. always alone.

it feels good to cry but it doesn't feel as good as having friends would.

Anonymous 77691

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Ugh I feel this so much. The last time I had real friends was in middle school high school was hell. I've always been weird to other people even my family finds me strange. Apparently I say random shit and do things which are inappropriate for my age but idk exactly what any of it means. I have periods where I desire human interaction, but then I just can't handle it anymore and withdrawal. For that reason, I would actually really enjoy someone who doesn't mind me disappearing for months and doesn't take it personally but I understand that most people can't do that. just in case anyone wants to try though I'mSoTired#7383



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Relationship General Anonymous 68927[Reply]

Paradise to trouble in paradise. Come here for:

>advice

>?s about romance, love, potential partners, etc.
>experiences and wishes
>venting

Play nice!
452 posts and 45 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 75450

>>75245
I wish I had the balls and self esteem to end things when someone lies to me. I always get super attached and can't imagine life without them and become a doormat because I think I'll never get anyone else :(

Anonymous 75471

>>75355
He knows that I lost my virginity and regret it (it was an abusive ex and I had been manipulated) I don't think it's a 1:1 but I understand what you're saying

I calmed down and I don't think I'll break up with him for that. But I'm damaged and don't know if I should be dating anyone right now. My ex did similar things, but worse (paying for women while we were dating) so I think that's why I reacted so strongly. But he didn't feel bad about it unlike my bf and it certainly wasn't a mistake from the past so I don't think it's very fair of me to view it the same.

>>75227
>I think maybe what you might be more concerned about is that he wasn't honest from the get-go and might be curious what else he might be hiding?
Yes. He told me I was his second (he had one gf before me, I had one bf before him) and when I said I could never do a one-night stand he agreed and said he never could either. I understand why he lied but it hurt. I've been lied to a lot but I'm trying not to become paranoid because of it.

Anonymous 77539

need advice on how to end this rebound relationship i got into on impulse after breaking up with my terrible bf of 3 years, i started talking to a guy in my class after that and we've known each other for 2 months and been dating for like 2 weeks, its all fine rn so there's no real reason to break up and we have common friends so i would prefer if we could just go back to being normal and treat our relationship as a one night stand or something but how do i bring it up lmfao i need to end this before there is any attachment or emotional mess

Anonymous 77621

>>77539
tell him what you said here. make it clear you've realised you're not ready for a new relationship and that you want to end things on good terms and remain friends

Anonymous 77624

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>>77622



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Qt Partner Thread Anonymous 37674[Reply]

Greentext traits and how lovely your partner is
404 posts and 69 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 77301

>>76920
So I thought it'd be fun to do some simple math about this post.
After counting, this list of traits about this alleged super boyfriend is 41 lines long.
The traits she lists are a mixture of somewhat believable things, pretty rare things, and incredibly rare things. It would be way too hard to actually go through each individual item and see what percentage of men actually fit that criteria, so let's just assume for simplicity that each of these traits is, on average, present in about 1/10 of men.

If all 41 of these things are true, and each one has about a 10% chance of being true, then this story has a 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000001% of being true, give or take.

Anonymous 77309

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>>77295
Please stop posting about your fantasies in this thread, which is suppose to be for real life bfs.

Anonymous 77516

>>77299
Thank you! You're too kind!

Anonymous 77530

>Makes me nutritionally-balanced lunches to bring to work most days. He's a way better cook than me, too.

Anonymous 77534

>>76920
take it to fanfiction.net next time



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Anonymous 77430[Reply]

does anyone else feel like they deserve suffering? i don't know how to explain it.

i mainly just feel like no matter what i endure, it is never enough. the universe has chosen to make me lonely and have people leave me, as well as put me into existence right in perfect timing to live on this planet that acts as a prison. no matter how much i scream, or cry, when i feel like i've hit a new low, there is somehow even lower. i've begun to accept my fate and anticipate the inevitability of being alone and hurt over & over. but knowing i'll be likely trapped in this cycle forever is what scares me the most. i don't know why i can't just be happy like a normal person, and have a normal happy life with friends and loved ones.

>the pain and suffering truly is never-ending.
9 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 77492

>>77488
How the fuck is anyone outside of a niche chronically online group supposed to know its origins. very martyr / holier than thou behavior, anon.

Anonymous 77495

>>77492
Go back.

Anonymous 77497

Yes, I even put myself in those situations on purpose when I know I'll get hurt. I hate it and I know it makes me feel like shit but I still do it.

Anonymous 77498

>>77492
That meme is old as shit, the only reason why you wouldnt know it is if you're young or didnt have internet access in early 2000s

Anonymous 77513

>>77492
Are you one of those people that use words they don't understand the meaning of? Why would you use a meme you don't understand? Dumbass



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Anonymous 76610[Reply]

I'm 5'11.5. My mother complements me on my height, but I hate being this tall. Clothes don't fit me properly. I am lanky and awkward, especially in small places like getting into cars. My back hurts. But most of all, it's such a huge challenge getting a moid to like me.

I don't get asked out like other girls. Moids of an acceptable height are incredibly rare. Those that are all want to date petite or average sized Staceys. They don't want to date a lanky beanstalk. I feel like I'm always last in line to be chosen. Once I overheard a moid I was kind of crushing on that he would ask me out if X rejected him. Like he was so certain I would say yes because I'm desperate (I am). I would've said yes because I have no choices, but I hate that I would.

Any other lanklets have the same experience?
78 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 77041

>>77033
It was an obvious incel scrote who posted a compilation of responses by a bunch of based Stacie's to a single tweet by an account called "Heightism" or something like that.

Une Chienne Andalou 77329

>>76972
>Lets be honest, we both know that this man's lack of attraction for taller women has nothing to do with some birth-set desire for tiny people. He's rejecting them because they make him feel insecure/emasculated.
I always found it amusing how so many people can recognize how the general moid preference for short women is rooted in insecurity. Such a “preference” is a result of social conditioning, and not innate, it’s also tied to the social construct of gender, namely masculinity. Yet these same people will swear on their life that the average woman’s preference for tall men is INNATE and fixed. I don’t get it, it’s crystal clear in my eyes that both are the result of social conditioning, neither are innate, and both are firmly rooted in insecurity, ultimately, insecurity about one’s identity as a “man”/“woman”. Men reject tall women because they find them intimidating and make them feel emasculated, likewise, women want a tall man because they want to feel small and feminine. My ideal partner is the same height as me (I’m 5’8” flat), but realistically I wouldn’t care if someone I liked was a few inches shorter or taller, I’ve liked both before. I don’t get how someone becomes so identified, so attached, to this “gender identity”. Men “need” to feel larger, women “need” to feel small. It’s all social conditioning and it’s all bullshit

Anonymous 77398

>>77329
they want to cry and piss themselves about gender roles, the expectations associated with masculinity, but also don't want to let go of gender roles and actively shame and harass women who seek to abolish them. they're hopelessly stupid.

Anonymous 77405

>>77329
Well the chances of a woman approaching a man is pretty low. So if either side feels like their height is a dealbreaker for most people that would dissuade them moreso. Guy thinks he's too short to approach and she thinks shes to tall. Its just how it is, the only insecurity from men is that they think girls only want taller guys. I dont think its so much that they dont like taller girls. Unless they have a bunch of options then maybe you could make an argument there. If youre a taller girl and find a shorter guy attractive you should just show interest.

Anonymous 77431

>>77329
I think it is a stereotype that is largely true. Most women won't date a man shorter than them, so if you're 5'10, men below it will think you're going to reject them



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Almost 30, still have social anxiety Anonymous 75881[Reply]

Maybe this is weird, but I feel like since I'm in my late 20s and I'm going to be 30 soon, I'm too old to still be in the phase of my life where I'm terrified of what others think of me and desperately want their validation and approval. I have no idea what to do about this.
13 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 75934

Personally, I think my social anxiety has turned more into asocialness these days. I've had severe social anxiety most of my childhood and avoided social interaction out of fear, but now I mostly avoid it due to finding it a nuisance and a chore most of the time.

I've worked jobs for the past few years that got me out of my shell and helped me combat alot of my long-held social anxiety fears like talking on the phone, looking people in the face, etc. so I'm sure they at least taught me some kind of skills for talking to other people better. I just have no real desire to use them. I find most people too annoying, obnoxious, and conceited to be around. I've been misanthropic for awhile, especially due to my own experiences getting fucked over by people I thought "friends", and my negative view on humanity has been further reaffirmed with all the shit has happened in the world over the last few years, with COVID, global warming, etc. I interact with most people as a forced pleasantry in a forced context, but from my observations don't find most of them worthy of forming a close personal connection with.

Anonymous 75946

>>75882
>Maybe therapy is just paid emotional support and friendship for lonely people
It really is. There's nothing a therapist could tell you that you'd be unable to research yourself. I hate how much people recommend therapy or see it as the solution to all mental disorders.

Anonymous 76044

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>>75900
exactly what I thought reading this thread

Anonymous 76048

>>75900

It has nothing to do with whether you're in a relationship or not. I used to frequent a support forum for people with social anxiety.. At least before it got a terrible upgrade with an ugly-ass layout and started shilling itself out with a bunch of ads and premium forums that you can only remove with their over-expensive "Premium Membership" now. Also introduced a "like button".. Because I'm sure turning a place full of severely self-conscious people into Reddit will fare well. Some of you may know which one I mean.

Plenty of people were or are in active relationships there. Some are even married. My guess is that their partner found them, rather than vice versa, and/or they developed social anxiety at a later stage in life because it never affects only one group of people.

Anonymous 77416

>>75882
Had to do a double take because I thought I wrote this. Literally my own experience.

Nowadays I try to feign politeness because I’ve had people tell me I’m rude my whole life and conflict makes me a nervous wreck so I force myself to at least greet people and look them in the eyes ugh.

But strangers are the reason I never leave the house, I’m terrified of being called out in public for some dumb shit or being insulted idk I’m hella paranoid and don’t think I will ever overcome this



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Anonymous 60420[Reply]

Why is friendzoning considered worse than fuckzoning?

If I have a crush on someone it's because they're a great person, I don't need to get in their pants, I'd also be happy with being friends with someone like that. Hearing "either we bone or I have no interest in interacting with you" sounds like a huge insult to me and if my crush implied that I would no longer want to bone them in the first place.
20 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 77039

>>76848
You're just a healthy person who's comfortable with attraction and relationships.
The rest of the miners here are all traumatized or have psychological problems regarding dating, most likely due to past experience, some are too delusional to admit.
Normal people don't think like this >>76852 >>77023

>>77017 is right though, having sex with men before establishing trust is to the detriment of women, but I'm sure you understand that

Anonymous 77110

>>60420
Both are rather awful for the afflicted, but I'd say that friendzoning is worse due to the false hope of a chance it leaves. Still being friends keeps the emotional connection alive, and it's that connection that the afflicted struggles with.

Anonymous 77134

it's absolutely not worse and anyone, male or female, who is preoccupied by the idea of being "friendzoned" is emotionally unhealthy imho.

Anonymous 77206

>>60420
Because you can't be friends because you have nothing in common, no common interests or hobbies and he is only after sex. If he wanted to hang out he would do so with people he shares interests in.
You don't hear about friendzone stuff from people who are actually friends and like to hang out with eachother.

Anonymous 77332

Friendzone only means your crush rejected you.
Both the friendzone and fuckzone suck.
I'd be mad if my crush was trying to bait me into fwb or only cared about sex.
I'd also be mad if the person I was dating wouldn't ever fuck me.

Just think if you were married and wanted kids but your husband didn't. However you one day get divorced and when he remarries he has kids with his new wife. Any form of rejection honestly just hurts.

I'd be happy if my crush who friendzoned me got a partner. I want the best for them but I would totally talk to them way less often if at all. I don't blame anyone who stops talking to their crush or deletes them. It's literally just so you can place emotional distance between yourself and them so you can move on. Wouldn't even mind talking to them again once my feelings passed up but usually by then the platonic relationship is dead too.

The best thing is to never get too crazy about someone and ask your crush out asap so it hurts less. The rejection from the crush you had for a week will hurt less than the one you had for years.



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Anonymous 76997[Reply]

I’m 18 and I can’t talk to other girls irl. Not in a tism way but in a way that we just never get each other and keep talking, super normies will write me off as funny but too quirky with my interests. I always get along with guys much more naturally. This has been happening noticeably the past three years and it’s not a situation that I’ve tried to cultivate, it just happened and the guys have almost always fully accepted me, to the point where my gender and differences are never brought up. Because of this I don’t often feel the pressure to make friends with girls. It took a while but they make no overly friendly advances towards me, it’s like heaven the way we can joke around about anything. I’ve never whored around and the only downside is my bf sometimes feeling anxious that I only ever talk to guys online and irl, but I always show him that I’m trustworthy. I’m heavily involved in a close knit irony community for a couple years now, I spent a lot of time in (but more so observing) 4chan trenches. It has completely complicated my humor and all my friends are outcasty, I feel like I couldn’t enjoy conversation with the casually funny, normal girl anymore. They all feel foreign to me, I’m never envious but I get anxious when I’m near a group of them. I want to have the natural companionship of funny, intelligent girl friends and there are rarely any in my online circles. Tips for talking to other girls and being more open to them? Or maybe some criticism on how I’m thinking about it?
11 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 77263

>>77195
Typical sperg stuff: linux, computer science, math, I'm also a bit into ML, but it's not like I'm so one-dimensional that I only talk about these, could also discuss (on some, possibly not high, level?) philosophy, music, literature, etc, even politics as long as it's not just insults and polemics. Wouldn't want to derail this thread too much and make it all about me me me but I've filled a more detailed chart here if you're interested >>>/b/133755

Anonymous 77269

What you're describing has been my entire life experience. It never really changed I only ever had 1-2 female friends and they were dicey.

Anonymous 77286

>>77263
I read your first post >>77192 and related to it, and saw the chart in /b/ and thought you'd be very cool to be friends with. We have somewhat similar interests (at least complementary).

Anonymous 77287

>>77286
Thanks! I've got my email address written on the chart, so if you want to talk you can write me there (although I suspect that gmail and similar normie address providers make my emails go straight to spam; so, you'd have to be aware of that and check spam once in a while haha).

Anonymous 77527

>>76998
This is a really good advice, i used to chase normies at 18 and wonder why im alone and have no girl friends



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