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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/23/2020 - No new rules, only clarification added.

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Paranoid feels Anonymous 36249[Reply]

Post paranoia, severe or light, about yourself or others

>talk to new contact

>mid conversation they suddenly appear offline and always have to doublecheck my friend list to see if they deleted me because of what I just said or if they're simply on phone/bad internet
32 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 36585

>>36578
>English:
>love, loves, loving, loved

You’re a pretty shit linguist then. English uses two words for tenses most of the time e.g. have loved, have had love, had had love, will love, will have love, etc. You can’t compare that with Spanish which often only uses one word, in that way.

Anonymous 36586

cb66d284e054e53439…

>>36556
いいよ. J'en ai assez des クソ移民 que no aprenden la langue locale, English in particular ni es difícil なのに学ぶ努力さえしない y se quedan así pendent toute la vie.

Anonymous 36589

>>36586
>ni
>なのに
>pendent

You sure about that language learning anon?

Anonymous 36595

>>36589
Yeah French spelling is hard who would've thought. Nothing wrong with the other two though.

Anonymous 36606

>>36585
In English the lexeme "lov" only has 4 grammemes (-e, -s, -ing, -ed). Spanish has 49. That was the point I was trying to make.
I didn't count any auxiliary verbs in English because then I'd have to count all the auxiliary verbs in Spanish too. But fine I'll humor you.

English: Love, loves, loved, loving, have loved, has loved, will love, will have loved, was loving, were loving, had loved, will be loving, have been loving, had been loving, will have been loving (15 in total, INCLUDING auxiliary verbs)

Spanish: Amo, amas, ama, amamos, amáis, aman, he amado, has amado, ha amado, hemos amado, habéis amado, han amado, amé, amaste, amó, amamos, amasteis, amaron, amaba, amabas, amaba, amábamos, amabais, amaban, hube amado, hubiste amado, hubo amado, hubimos amado, hubisteis amado, hubieron amado, había amado, habías amado, habíamos amado, habíais amado, habían amado, amaría, amarías, amaría, amaríamos, amaríais, amaría, habría amado, habrías amado, habríamos amado, habríais amado, habrían amado, amaré, amarás, amará, amaremos, amaréis, amarán, habré amado, habrás amado, habrá amado, habremos amado, habréis amado, habrán amado, ame, ames, amemos, améis, amen, amase, amases, amásemos, amaseis, amasen, amara, amaras, amáramos, amarais, amaran, haya amado, hayas amado, hayamos amado, hayáis amado, hayan amado, hubiese amado, hubieses amado, hubiésemos amado, hubieseis amado, hubiesen amado, hubiera amado, hubieras amado, hubiéramos amado, hubierais amado, hubieran amado, amare, amares, amáremos, amareis, amaren, hubiere amado, hubieres amado, hubiéremos amado, hubiereis amado, hubieren amado, amad (147 in total, including auxiliary verbs but excluding grammemes that repeat even when used after different pronouns, for example "Yo hubiese amado" and "Ella hubiese amado". Same conjugation, different syntactic context.)

More conjugations means more things to memorize. English is ezpz in comparison. Also,
>You’re a pretty shit linguist then
Bitch really thought she was smarter than someone who's been studying this specific topic for 3 years lmao



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Anonymous 36590[Reply]

>4chan Is banned from mcdonalds wifi but crystal cafe is not

Anonymous 36591

>>36590
hard to ban something you've never heard of

Anonymous 36594

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I've reported you to Ronald McDonald. Expect your connection to be terminated immediately.



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Eating Disorder General Anonymous 645[Reply]

A thread for the discussion of eating disorders. Anything goes, from anorexia to bulimia, orthorexia to binge-eating disorder etc.

>when did your ED first emerge?

>was there anything in particular that triggered it?
>how has it affected you as an individual?
>if they're aware, how have your family and friends reacted to it?
>have you ever deliberately encouraged its development?
>have you ever attempted recovery?
>did you ever participate in ED-centric online communities (i.e. MPA, LJ, Tumblr)?

Pro-ana thinspiration is disallowed as per rule 10.

(OP is River's Edge by Okazaki Kyoko)
99 posts and 13 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 19737

anyone else terrified that they're gonna screw up their brains for being anachan? https://www.verywellmind.com/brain-starvation-and-recovery-in-anorexia-nervosa-1138303

Anonymous 19799

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>>19734
Haha I know, it is a bit tragic. Thanks anon, I'm glad things are better now too. Makes it all worth it tbh.

Anonymous 36570

Reviving this old thread. Sorry if there's a new one?
I've reached my lw in over 3 years, I think I might have gained enough to get past it but realistically speaking how much of that weight is real anyways? I feel overdramatic as shit but with quarantine nothing can stop me from starving for days and days. I really feel tempted to let go and go all the way, even if it means cardiac arrest. My bmi is pretty concerning to most people but I feel at my happiest and yet it's not enough?

Anonymous 36576

>>36570
Here's the most recently-used thread.

>>>/hb/4629

Anonymous 36579

scritches.png

>used to weigh 70kg
>fast for 10 days, lose 10kg
>gain those 10kg right back and 2kg more
>lose 7 kg again via dieting and exercise
>pandemic hits
>depressed af, gain weight again
about ready to give up on life desu



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despair II Anonymous 36216[Reply]

Made a post here a year ago about my depression and just feelings of helplessness and overwhelming despair, I’ve experienced a lot of things since then but everything is essentially the same.

I think its called being passively suicidal when you don’t actively try to kill yourself but don’t really do anything to have a good life either. I’ve tried to become a better person but I just keep failing..I’ve gotten taken advantage of by a guy I trusted, let myself get taken advantage of by so many other guys, fallen out with so many friends… all in my head thinking this was what it was to be a normal person and experience all these new social things. I was overwhelmed and threw myself into everything I was too shy to do before, and now all I feel is dirty and ashamed.

It was not all entirely bad..had some accomplishments but I just feel hollow inside.

Does anyone get depressed watching anime bc all the characters are so young and their lives are so interesting and have so many possibilities? And thinking wow I used to be at that age but when I was that age I was a depressed hermit who had no friends and I still am now.

I feel like I’ll never be able to connect to anyone, I’m so lonely.

Anonymous 36225

Well… At least you had that guy you trusted and friends.

Anonymous 36227

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>>36216
Anime creators are in the boredom-killing business. Unplug for a while, go for a walk, take a 2-hour nap, read a fiction book or a philosophy book. Stay strong, the world is suffering now more than ever. Without a bad day, you won't recognize a good day. Things are going to get better in the next month or so. If you're currently unhappy, that's an appropriate response because things are messed up right now worldwide

Anonymous 36232

>>36216

>Does anyone get depressed watching anime bc all the characters are so young and their lives are so interesting and have so many possibilities? And thinking wow I used to be at that age but when I was that age I was a depressed hermit who had no friends and I still am now.


I feel like this sometimes too when I watch anime or read manga. But I've learned most of the creators of the best works are actually NEETs or depressed or having existential crises all the time. The creator of Sailor Moon said she wanted to write something where a character had all the sorts of friends she always wished she had.

It's okay to enjoy it for what it is without criticizing yourself.

Cheer up OP

Anonymous 36235

>>36232
>Does anyone get depressed watching anime bc all the characters are so young and their lives are so interesting and have so many possibilities? And thinking wow I used to be at that age but when I was that age I was a depressed hermit who had no friends and I still am now.

OP, it's never too late to turn your life around. Write off the past years and focus now on what you want to do now. The more you move forward, the less you will look back.

Don't focus on high school especially, it's a difficult time for most people. At no other time in your life will you be forced as an (almost) adult to see the same people everyday with power to leave. Just because you had no friends doesn't mean it's your fault. Sometimes other people are just shitty. Small towns especially can be super cliquey and have dumb beliefs.

Anonymous 36575

>>36216
>Does anyone get depressed watching anime bc all the characters are so young and their lives are so interesting and have so many possibilities? And thinking wow I used to be at that age but when I was that age I was a depressed hermit who had no friends and I still am now.

Not really, anime isn't real life, yk? A lot of stuff that's cool in anime is cringy or improbable irl.
I agree too that you shouldn't watch high school stuff so much, personally I like reading seinen because it's more relatable when it comes to the struggles of being an adult. Either that or read/watch stuff with protags you can relate to more, like the protag in Watamote or in Neeko wa Tsurai Yo!



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how to get ex bf back Anonymous 35446[Reply]

I need help with this, story time
>dated 2 years
>last 6 months of relationship be on and off because I can't handle how he made out and fingered an ex friend of mine months before we dated
> get mad that he sent nudes to a rando girl months before we dated
>also be sad that he had an ex gf that he had sex with
>be hurt everyday because he did all of this and don't know how to cope
> Get really mad at him, during a week of break up, I want to get revenge and end up making out with another guy and getting fingered by him
>happy that I got revenge but still feel disgusted with myself the situation
>months later I tell bf and he immediately breaks up with me
> cry and beg and doesnt work
> went no contact for 2 weeks, he messages me saying he misses me and asks for pic of me, etc. we talk, I ask if he wants to get back, he says no, I flip the fuck out on him and tell him never contact me again
>4 weeks later he messages me to check up on me, he tells me we should stay friends and stay in contact, he says im important to him, I flip the fuck out on him again and block him

Been 3 weeks now no contact, is there any chance he'll want to come back and date me again. He said I was really important to him but what I did really hurt him.
55 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 36074

>>36048
Good, you're not capable of being in a healthy relationship until you learn to manage your insecurities and emotions (i.e. see a shrink).

Or, if you don't want to improve, you could do some charity work and date an incel who wouldn't have sexual experience to get mad at.

Anonymous 36102

>>36074
yeah I have a lot of insecurities, I hate having things that bother me it feels like it takes over my life. I'll try to read to do self improvement stuff

Anonymous 36111

I hate odd numbers so I am just adding this comment for that. I still miss him I am doing everything in my will power to not message him.

Anonymous 36112

>>36111
Damn OP, you are an obsessive insecure mess. Find a hobby.

Anonymous 36134

>>36112
sorry, the number 59 bothers me I need it to be 60 it's a nicer number



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Anonymous 35740[Reply]

Any of you ladies ever be the first to approach a boy and ask him out? How did it go?

There's a cute boy that I work with and I have been giving him signs that I'm into him (Like biting my lip sometimes when speaking or listening to him.).

I'm not sure if he is just oblivious to my hints or if he plain doesn't like me. Should I just bite the bullet and ask him out first?
11 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 35926

>>35902
It's kinda funny how men think we're interested in them while we're just being nice to them, but can't get these signs we show when we are really interested in them.

Anonymous 35927

>>35740
I made the first move on my current fiance so i'd say try it hun

Anonymous 35937

>>35894
Generally speaking guys have a very direct and literal way of thinking. Consider >>35742. The guy isn't thinking "is she using the lighter as a conversation starter?", hes thinking "she needs a lighter".

Anonymous 35938

>>35937
Also, this is why you should NEVER tell a guy that you're fine when you actually aren't. Nine times out of ten they'll take you at your word.

Anonymous 35950

>>35938
>NEVER tell a guy that you're fine when you actually aren't. Nine times out of ten they'll take you at your word.
I mean, I feel like this goes for most people, if you tell people you're fine then they will believe it or think you don't want to talk about your problem.



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How is COVID-19 making YOUR professional life a living hell? Anonymous 36417[Reply]

I thought it could be nice to have a vent thread for people graduating/who've had their professional life and education disrupted by covid.

I'm graduating in a week into a competitive creative field and have applied to the only two or three jobs im qualified for in my area. On the surface I'm still excited and I have faith in my abilities but I know it's going to be a lot harder than even I can comprehend. I've had no graduation ceremony, no end of year exhibition, subpar feedback from tutors, and no celebration at all. I'm probably gonna have to sign up for govt. assistance, look for a shitty regular job and maybe try freelancing for extra cash. Sounds silly but I was so excited to have 2020 be my graduating year cos of the round number, but now I just wish I'd take a year out or something.
5 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 36508

>>36467
People in your life are shitty if you have to be scared of venting to them about something like this

Anonymous 36557

2AAA1664-5FCC-46F4…

I got a job at this cool start-up shop run by a young couple right after I got laid off my first job and it was really awesome to work there. Two weeks later I got a lay-off there as well. The way the one owner broke the news to me made it sound like he was going to get all three employees go and just run it with his wife:
>we can’t afford to have employees
>we can’t even pay ourselves right now ;_;
>when COVID ends and if our shop makes it we’ll be sure to put you back on the team, dw anon

I got another job in a healthcare facility shortly after, something actually promising with more hours and that paid better and so I started throwing money at this shop to support them hoping they wouldn’t go out of business. They gladly took my money.

Just ran into another one of the girls who worked there and found out I was the only one who got let go. Apparently everyone still works there but me.

Am I dumb for being pissy about this and hoping their business fails? They just seem so fake now.

Anonymous 36558

>>36557

oh anon, that really sucks. If anything, I'm sure it wont be anything personal. It's probably true that they had to downsize but maybe they hid the truth a little to spare your feelings.

Is it possible they are just closer on a personal level to the other employees? Maybe they're a family friend or they owe them in some way, or happen to think they needed the job more for whatever reason.

Anonymous 36559

Before quarantine I got hired into an internship but I only got to work there for a day. I don't know if this means I'm fired now :(

Anonymous 36560

>>36557
Wow, what horrid people. Didn't have the decency to tell you that you were the one to be let go because you were the last hired? And then to take your money like no big deal? Yeah, I hope they fail too anon.

>>36559
Send whoever was in charge of you an email and just ask.



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Anonymous 36476[Reply]

Anyone else have great difficulty switching from one task to another? Sometimes this leads me to achieve what i wish but 99% of the time this brings me suffering. I used to think its due to being tired and sitting on my ass all day, but even as my lifestyles have changed i still face the same difficulties.

Anonymous 36490

>>36476
Can you give some examples OP?



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Idk Anonymous 36199[Reply]

I am open to constructive criticism as it is impossible for to have done everything correctly.
It started out really nice as he turned out to be caring, thoughtful and really empathic. I might just say I’ve never met a person as kind as him (or now, as twisted as him tho, I might be wrong). He was always there, looking out for me, cheering for me.
The first red flag I noticed was the fact how stubborn he was being about wanting to know about a personal story of mine which somehow he managed to sniff. I didn’t want to talk to him about it and he was being difficult on wanting to know about it, so I finally gave up. Later when I confronted him about his behavior and how I felt forced to tell him the whole story, he apologised. Somehow everything was moving too fast when I don’t feel that close to him yet.
Our friendship went on as he would constantly put me down in front of everyone while complimenting someone else. Nothing I did was right in his eyes yet, a mere puff of someone else’s perfume is enough for him to be giving them compliments. Yet,he would always ask me out to dinner/lunch with him, giving me help (now, I think about it, was more of forcing help onto me although I’ve politely declined numerous times). At times, he would be very dismissive as much as even walking away when I’m talking yet sometimes, he would be very supportive.
He also had a habit of badmouthing just about anyone who he thinks is close to me. Whether it is on their work ethics or just that they’re genuinely bad ppl. Among those ppl, one of the person he talked about was his own bestie, whom he had been friends (A) with for atleast 3 years.
Since this toxic person has a high position in a project, he asked A to help him out on working as one of the team leaders in which I was one of the member. I saw how hard A worked to ensure that everything ran smoothly for the project. Yet, perhaps when this toxic being saw that me and my bestie was getting close to A, he started talking ill about them to me. He said that both A and my bestie, they’re not playing any active role in the project and that they don’t know how to do their job well. He even proceeded calling his bestie as someone who has been lazy ever since he knew him. Note that this toxic person was the one who reached out to A and my bestie for help.
As a team member, I did saw that A and my bestie, both actively played huge role to ensure that their task was completed successfully. It was only because Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 36398

O______O

Anonymous 36420

>>36199
I don't think you did anything wrong, although not telling A could've been a wise desicion atleast for the sake of the project. But since A was this toxic persons best friend, I think you were right to expose him. The toxic person seems like a sociopath/narcissist, it would explain how he could be so two-faced



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Anonymous 36387[Reply]

stuck in a depressive episode the past few weeks, if it weren't for corona id be outside doing fun things, hanging out with friends, or even just any semblance of real work.

its been a blur of fleeting thoughts of suicidal ideation, worthlessness, and coping by returning to my fujoshi weeb ways n watching anime, reading yaoi.

im in a privileged position and can afford to live this way which makes me feel worse. ppl w depression here how do u guys cope?

Anonymous 36388

OP, your brain does what is necessary to survive. This is not a normal time and you had zero preparation to live this way. If reading BL keeps you going then just go with it. There is nothing that you "should" be doing right now. If you're staying home then you're doing the quarantine right.

And you like spending your time reading BL then so what? Do what you enjoy, who cares what other people think. Your life is your time.



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