/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>25845
Okay, first things first. The stuff they're going to put you on in the military is going to make you very "desperate", and it'll make everyone else around you "desperate", too. Unless you're carrying him in your backpack with some condoms, you're probably not going to have the will to calm your desires. You know what they say about "base wives". It's the same for husbands. Something tells me you're adamant about this, so he's just taking the signal to look elsewhere for someone to spend his life with. I've talked with vets before about this; male, and female. Unless you are one hell of a rosary-clutching biblethumper, you're not really immune to it. I'm thinking he's one for total commitment, so his choice is obvious.

>>25845
Military women have a notorious reputation for being unfaithful. Logically you're surrounded by young 18-20 something guys in their prime as one of the few women around. He's understandably a little worried you might find yourself attracted to someone else (or raped).

It's like if a guy joined a convent full of teenage nuns.

>>25905
>>25917
Thanks for the responses! I honestly don't think I would be tempted, but I do understand that he would be concerned. Both he and I are strong Christians (his parents are pastors and I sing in the choir with my mother).

Is there any sort of compromise I might be able to offer him before he officially wants to split? I can't imagine him wanting to marry me at this point in life or me moving in with him so far away from home and family.

>>25918
Bringing him as a tag-along base-husband with an upfront guarantee of commitment sounds pretty reasonable. Just make sure you can stay faithful. This means you're going to have to make sure every moment you spend with him is very, uh, "busy". Don't even joke about sleeping around. He sounds very faithful, so should you.

How can I stop being overly confident? I didn't realize it was a problem until recently, after reading other people's posts and seeing how insecure they actually are. I can't relate to any of it and I feel ashamed.

Moved to >>>/hb/6992.

I WANT A BF SO BAD IM SO LONELY AND SAD I HAVE SO MUCH LOVE INSIDE OF ME I WANT A BF I WANT A BF WHY IS LIFE SO UNFAIR REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THERE'S SO MANY NICE THING I WANNA SHARE WITH A BF I'VE NEVER HAD ONE I WANT ONE SO BAD

>>25881
go out and get one

>>25881
Join a hobby club. Make male friends. Turn one of them into your bf.

>>25634
Do you still talk? Has he had a gf since you left? Maybe you have a chance.

>>25694
I'm turning 22 in a few months. I know that's probably still considered young, but I feel I missed potential with my youth. I feel like I left it all too late. Everyone my age is either a whore or they're like me and only exist online. How do I talk to irl boys? Where do I find the ones like me? Libraries? Dog parks? I don't know.

>>25929
Go where you want to go. This is what "being yourself" lends to. What do you like? Don't lie to yourself.

>>25798
>felt sickened by the fact that it's that easy for young men to sleep around
As opposed to what? young girls? its easier for ladies to get laid if all you care about is sex.

>>25813
It may not have been opposed to anything. It's possible he said "young men" instead of "young people" just because he was speaking from his own experience. I don't know the podcast she's talking about, though, so I can't really be certain of the context or anything.

>>25809
Yeah, I don't know how to go about finding them at all. I'm avoiding tinder and online dating since it seems the whole culture around it is very promiscuous, but just taking chances on randoms irl hasn't yielded results either.

>>25813
The other anon is correct, it isn't opposed to anything. I just specified young men because that's what I'm more concerned about.
It's not jealousy, I know I could catch dick with relative ease but want to settle down with a man who also has good self control.

>>25814
He was just talking about himself and it was passing small talk.

Idk it just seems that if men can pass up such large amounts of women for relationships and only pump and dump them, what would make it different in my case? It's just self pity really, I know there are men who commit even when young. But how can I be a woman that someone wants to commit to?

>>25817
>I don't know how to go about finding them at all
I'm not even sure if such a problem has a good solution.
Such people, who are shy and awkward and just want someone special who is in the same position they are, are unfortunately the same kind of people who are not likely at all to actually approach/meet such people IRL. You can't really tell whether someone is that kind of person at a glance once you're out of school and they're no longer "that kid who sits alone at lunch," and even if you frequent places where such people would have interests you've no way of knowing if any of them are even looking for relationships or are in ones already or would even be compatible with you in the first place unless you want to take weeks/months to make friends with each one to learn about them beforehand.
A dedicated dating website would be great in theory, but I can't imagine it would be possible for a "Come get matched with virgin women who want to date you!" website to not go down in flames within a month of creation. Maybe if it was structured so that only the women could send messages/open communication channels, but I imagine it'd still get flooded by low-effort male accounts only looking for easy scores, making it a pain to find actual genuine guys on there.

I mean, in theory any one of us could start a thread on /r9k/ and probably get a dozen guys' Discord names, but again, same problem.

>>25817
Call me naive but is there really anything you can do to make someone else commit to you? I think it just depends on luck in finding the right person with whom you share common goals in life (= marriage or so) and a good connection.

In my country, there's at least one dating website for singles who are looking for serious relationships. Maybe something similar exists in yours.

Ask her purely about herself. People are self absorbed, this would likely work with either sex. If she askes about you make honest but interesting responses, don't be short with her. In depth responses that don't make her feel patronized and that make her think you have a brain.

Or, and I may be wrong here, you could be yourself and deal with the fact that you may not be what she's looking for.

>>25734
>Or, and I may be wrong here, you could be yourself and deal with the fact that you may not be what she's looking for.
Whoa. What gives you this impression?

>>25735
Not her but - with the way you've worded the OP - these sort of things always sound like you're trying to be something you're not and you don't feel comfortable or confident enough in your own approach (claiming it is "weak") so you want to use someone else's approach instead.

Just the way these sort of questions can sometimes come across to others.

ps: totally okay with this btw, the whole bee urself stuff can be okay for some people but real trash advice for others.

>>25748
nah, it's more like i've already made a ton of progress and i wanna move things even further without becoming overbearing i guess. i've gotten her to watch a movie with me so far.
she's busy and got a lot of stuff going on i want to become more captivating than other shit in her life.

i guess it's a stupid question but i was drunk when i made this thread so give me a break.

>>25708
>People are strange when you're a stranger
>Faces look ugly when you're alone
>Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Songtext by the doors
You need time to "arrive", relax and open up, it doesn't just click and is a low process

>>25078
Can’t stop crying my eyes out either. Life just seems so hopeless and I feel like no one likes me and I’m worthless and too clingy for anyone to like me

If you're binging, you're probably cutting your calories too much. I need more specifics about your diet to help though.

>>25085
I've been there. Crying for hours alone. Controlling my diet so at least I can do something and look good…. And then binging.

Is this a regular thing for you?

Look up snake diet, Cole is a bit abrasive but his methods do work.

>>25077
>>25077
lets be online friends op, i'm stuck in the same cycle, maybe we can help each other

>>25679
Kind of, yeah. Sure, I'd say so. It never really bothered me so much up until now.
I'll try doing so, maybe.

>>25683
Wait. Before you go on the wacky silk road of "I have ADD", are you consuming a lot of sugar, HFCS, or sucralose? You've seen that one episode of that daytime family cartoon series before. It would be wise to cut sweets, sodas and breakfast cereals before you get misdiagnosed.

>>25687
Other than the usual "I can't stop snacking on everything because period", I don't consume a lot, necessarily. I wouldn't go around assuming anything, but what you're saying makes a lot of sense. I'll see if there are any differences.

I feel so depressed and numb. I want to go to the store or drive thru and buy junk food because it’s one of the only things that still gives me a semblance of pleasure. My cravings are so bad right now but I know I’d regret wasting money on food I don’t need. I just wish I could feel content at least

I hate to be that person but see this thread

>>>/feels/25163

if only merging was possible but this thread is just starting out

I have also experienced that thing where someone gets angry at you for being too meek.

>>25459
Don't worry. They're just psychopaths.

>>25148
why does she do this. why does she fucking do this. she wanted a spineless kid who would never talk back to her, and she made me into one. so good for her. and now she wants me to be normal?

I want to scream.

fuck you mom!!!!!!

(but only over the internet, because i still can't raise my voice)

>>25155
the fuck, having low self esteem is never that person's fault, it's always the parents brainwashing you into thinking you're never good enough

>>25641
The mistake you're making is listening to your mother in the first place.

Ask yourself why you care what she says, especially when she's being irrational and you know better than her. Many people have low self-esteem, it makes no sense to scream at someone for being like that, and you know it.

You have to learn to tune her off.

>>25354
:)
>>25355
I have to take meds every day for the rest of my life that cause birth defects, and stopping them for 9 months is not an option. If I want kids obviously I’ll have my partner to carry them or we’ll adopt, it’s nbd.

>>25361
>take meds every day for the rest of my life
Is it Lupus?

Anyone else here not care about PIV sex and would rather just fuck a guy in the ass instead? I don't have gender dysphoria though. I like being a woman.

>>25370
Yeah, I've had to train myself through masturbation to enjoy the idea lmao.
Ideal sex life is just pegging, BJs, HJs, and cunnilingus.
Even more ideal is trans bf who still is into penetration so no prep is necessary.

>>25371
Why force yourself to like something you don't and settle for less? My boyfriend and I have the ideal sex life you're describing. You'd be surprised if you're honest from the beginning how many guys don't care that much about penetration and would rather be intimate with you in ways that you enjoy. Guys like feeling sexually attractive and pleasing you mostly (why do you think they obsess over their dicks and how long they last). If you show them other ways they can please you once they see how into you are they will love it. My boyfriend is the muscular masculine type and he's told me many times I've made him feel more wanted and attractive than the girls that just wanted him to fuck them. If I wasn't honest and persistent I would never get what I wanted.