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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021


How to leave him for good Anonymous 109222[Reply]

I need advice on how to no go back to my ex.

My bf is not a bad man but he is not helping enough with chores, is now unemployed and I work a split shift that leaves me dead tired at the end of the day. I'm obviously still in love but I know that its time to leave him before i waste more time with him teaching him how to clean and maintain a house like a normal adult. I live with him and that's the difficult part of it. Any advice, I really need it. +5 year relationship
16 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 109307

I understand, I hope it wont come to that.
The fact that he thinks that you are not serious about it is hard to understand after such a talk.

Did you set a hard deadline when, he and all is belongings have to be out of your place?

Stay strong nona, it will be fine!

Anonymous 109421

thank you! i told him he had one month. its a lot of time for me, I feel like if i he was somewhere else it would be soooo easy. I know its not good but i would just talk to men so i dont get bored and maybe write smut or whatever but sleeping with him is just too much. I am super mad at him right now, sometimes i miss him and want to go back but today i want him out

Anonymous 109424

One month is huge, you are not sleeping in the same bed anymore, aren't you?

Anonymous 109428

I am, i dont have any other bed nor will I sleep in the sofa. and he wont either, I thought of buying in a sleeping bag or a futon i dont really want to waste my money in this.

Anonymous 111030

Did he leave yet?


Anonymous 106960[Reply]

I don't want to be a lesbian

Growing up I used to watch lot of half naked women, especially watch those American music songs despite not knowing any English. I watched over and over the parts which especiallu focused on women's butts and boobs. At 11 years old I discovered porn and soon it was lesbian porn only. At that time I didn't know what homosexuality is and didn't take it in that way.

Later in life I started to dream about family and having kids, but I never wanted guy to be in the picture or I imagined myself as the father. I have dated twice and the both have been internet relationships with a guy. I did love them as a person but that's it. I don't find men attractive at all, there are some good-looking men but they are good-looking only with clothing on. As soon thats away, I find the slighly repulsive.

I have tried to watch some neutral videos related to homosexuality, but I can't just accept it. Even semi normal ones from 70s and 80s where homosexuals tell their experiences around that time but I can't accept it. I feel sick, I feel like I am mentally ill and damaged for liking women this way.

I have tried to cure myself, change myself but I always come back to this. Women are too beautiful, attractive and sexy. I cannot stop lusting after women, if a woman outside walks past me and she is wearing reveling clothing I cannot look away. All my dreams include some kind of contanct with women. I even dreamed about going abroad to a lesbian bar.

But I don't want to be this way, I feel wrong, bad, damaged, not good. I feel terrible human for having these feelings. I feel like a bad person for wanting family without father figure, watching pornography for the whole purpose of seeing naked women. I feel like a coomer is watching girls. I don't want to live this way. I tried to seek God and looked into Christianity but my impure thoughts didn't go anywhere.

When I looked into Christianity, I found out about adelphoiesis and started to dream about that. I would really want to be in that kind of relationship with a beautiful woman. I feel sick of thinking like that. I wish I was normal, like everyone else.Everyone knew I was lesbian before I knew. They would insult that or other LGBT people would be with me and try to get to know because they thought I was one of them.

I am sorry if this was rude post for some people but I wanted to share my thoughts because you cannot Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
115 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 109297

Ayrt and half of the links are about murder too. It was in response to posts like >>109057 .

Anonymous 109308

>The idea that you can't choose who you love is one of THE MOST retarded things I've ever heard
Can you fall in love with a given person on command? Is that what you're saying? I'd be interested to hear YOUR definition of love.
>no one with a proper mother and father figure becomes gay
I would describe my father and mother as proper father and mother figures and I'm still bisexual. Pretty much everyone has some kind of trauma.
There's nothing wrong with any of what you want. the only thing about you that you should focus on changing is your self loathing. Yeah, kids probably do benefit from having a father and a mother but almost no one grows up in a picture perfect family anyways and most of us turn out pretty okay. I don't see a family with same sex parents as being better or worse than a family with a single parent raising them alone, or a family where grandparents or aunts and uncles have to take on the roles or parents. Lots of hetero parents end up seriously damaging their children so I don't see any reason that two well intentioned women shouldn't be given a chance to raise a child. They can't do worse than some straights have done.

Anonymous 109332

There are many women with absolutely terrible childhoods and they remain straight. If this is the result of Stockholm syndrome, then with treatment, sexuality should become healthier and a person should be liberated. Still, it's not just life experience that affects.

Anonymous 110126

"I will also show that excitability has a greater daily effect on men's sexual desire than on men's sexual desire, for reasons related to women's hormonal cycles. related to female hormonal cycles. If we consider these factors together, the factors indicate that women's daily sexual desires should be more flexible and changeable than men's. The second phenomenon associated with female sexual variability is the "disorientation" of romantic love. Although we usually assume. that sexual orientation directs people's romantic feelings along the same path as their sexual desires. sexual desires, this is not the case. On the contrary, what we know about the evolutionary origin and neurobiological mechanisms of romantic love suggests that it (1) functions independently of sexual desire, having other biological bases; (2) can develop even in the absence of sexual desire; and (3) does not have an "orientation" in the same the same as sexuality. As a result Thanks to these features, we can fall in love with someone without feeling affection for them, even if this person does not match our sexual orientation. sexual orientation. The third phenomenon associated with female sexual variability is the connection between romantic love and sexual desire. the connection between romantic love and sexual desire. This connection allows you to start with strong platonic (i.e. non-sexual) feelings of love, non-sexual) feelings of love for another person, and sometimes new and unexpected sexual desires.
The third phenomenon associated with female sexual variability is the connection between romantic love and sexual desire. This connection allows you to start with strong platonic (that is, non-sexual) feelings of love for another person, and as a result experience new and unexpected sexual desires for him, non-sexual) feelings of love for another person, and as a result, sometimes new and unexpected sexual desires for this person arise. This is because love and desire, despite being separate processes, nevertheless have strong cultural, psychological and neurobiological links between them. One experience can contribute to another. We all know that sexual desire can turn into romantic love, but the opposite can also happen: romantic love can lead to sexual desire. Given this two-way connection between love and desire, we can to develop sexual desire for a person of the "wrong sex", just like we do we can fall in love with a person of the wrong sex. Such atypical desires may be lPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 110939

Hey where is opinions?


Any nonas also struggle with OCD? Anonymous 99300[Reply]

I have obsessions about my health, harm coming to loved ones, ending up in jail, forms of relationship OCD, trans OCD, OCD about possibly having disgusting fetishes. My compulsions usually consist of Googling, checking, and reassurance-seeking.
18 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 107635

1 MKZLbZZ3mnSw-vqr…

I have been trying out exposures on my own by writing scripts and browsing /d/ and scrolling through um… images that has shit and gas in it for the past days.

I attempted to push and try to convince myself that I do like this shit stuff which only makes me laugh and think about how ridiculous it all is. Looks like I have to truly believe in what I expose and think about for it to work, but I can't. This is too funny and stupid. I felt quite stupid. I couldn't sit with the exposure though I just immediately realized how stupid everything is and closed it. I also can't believe that people are actually into disgusting stuff like soiled diapers and all that.
I tried to read about this, and apparently it's called "flooding" and it's not effective.
>Flooding is a psychotherapeutic method for overcoming phobias. In order to demonstrate the irrationality of the fear, a psychologist would put a person in a situation where they would face their phobia. Under controlled conditions and using psychologically-proven relaxation techniques, the subject attempts to replace their fear with relaxation. The experience can often be traumatic for a person, but may be necessary if the phobia is causing them significant life disturbances. The advantage to flooding is that it is quick and usually effective. There is, however, a possibility that a fear may spontaneously recur.

I did notice my OCD trying to tell me that I need to keep checking and if one image didn't work, I gotta move to the next image to confirm it, and if that didn't, then the next one. I also kept going back once I stopped experimenting just so I can confirm once more and "put an end". I also noticed that I also wanted to confirm that my "arousal" works only for vanilla stuff. These are actually compulsions, or specifically checking and pure obsession, and its a trap.

>I'm a lesbian

>check out lesbian porn
>it doesn't work
>okay so this means you are straight?
>you should confirm if you are straight
>check out straight porn
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 108845


I just learnt that a lot of basic therapy strategies like helping the patient understand that "thoughts are just thoughts" and to help them understand that the scenarios that they fear have extremely low chances of happening won't work if they have OCD because they'd still go "… but what if?". I need these things because I have BPD as well and I think aggressive and hypersexual thoughts all the time, but OCD will surely sabotage it. These thoughts CAN happen even if it's improbable.

Trying to convince someone pizza is bad because of saturated fats won't really stop them from liking pizza. In the same way, trying to convince someone that the thing they fear won't happen is wrong because these fears do and can happen. It is possible to contract AIDS by accident and it is possible that you accidentally ran over someone and forgot to notice it. CBT fails if it's logical. It has to be repurposed and do something else.

Anonymous 110516

Just spent so long repeatedly opening and closing my bathroom door that one neighbor yelled at me to shut up and another knocked on my front door to ask if I was alright.
It makes people think I'm a fucking lunatic when I do that sort of thing so I have to tamp down on it in public and feel uncomfortable the whole time I'm outside I can only interact with each object once, usually not enough.
Fuck's sake, wish I could phase through walls…

Anonymous 110525

this is really stupid kind of coping mechanism but basically among other things i am constantly worried that i smell horrible and especially my vagina smells to bad that everyone around me can smell it, like if i enter a building the entire space smells like my pussy. i always think that people are commenting on the smell, like they use code language to talk with each other about my horrible smell so i wouldn't realize they are talking to me, for example today i heard someone say sarcastically something about a "lovely spring weather" and i was sure that was a code for my pussy smelling bad but in situation like this i just think "well that's some quality schizo posting!" to myself and i'll realize how ridiculous i am being and can relax and laugh at myself

Anonymous 110645

I've accepted that perhaps the intrusive thoughts really were right after all… and that being the case, as long as I'm too afraid to rope, there's no cure for me except refusing to act on it.


Found in /b Anonymous 110666[Reply]

Share possessive bf stories!


“looksmaxxing” entering the mainstream Anonymous 108725[Reply]

How do you guys feel about the term “looksmaxing” being embraced by many gen-zers and tiktok and no longer just for the incels and femcels. As a former femcel who has been aware of this term since 2017, it’s very strange to see its resurgence.

Sure, people have always been narcissistic and into improving their looks but the “bonesmashing”, talking about “falios” and “mandibles” and “maxilos” is strange to me.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 110623

Apart from all that bonesmashing bs I can't really notice anything wrong with the looksmaxing trend. Young moids are getting more blackpilled and keep encouraging each other to hit the gym and improve themselves. What's wrong with that? In the same communities I've also seen some zoomers encourage quitting porn which I think is a great step in the right direction.

Anonymous 110644

Lookmsaxxing was always a thing (for women) in the mainstream, it just didn't have that specific label.

Anonymous 110796

Looksmaxing is bullshit, just more consumerism

Anonymous 110816

Eating disorders ig

Anonymous 110920

most of the whole looksmaxing thing is just exercise and diet advice what are you talking about


Anonymous 110755[Reply]

So my ebf got really pissed at me and started to say things like "I shouldn't have come online today" or "Why should I do anything with you?" and all that because I had to first brb for only 10 minutes yesterday because my parents wanted to talk to me, and then later I got a call from work late at night that I had to answer and the call went for too long. He got really pissed at me. This isn't the first time I've interrupted him when he was chatting with me and I also don't immediately respond. I only started to work recently so I was able to give as much as time and attention to him before, but now I'm not able to. I've mentioned that I don't have any personal time anymore and that I spend whatever time I got left after coming home from work only with him.

Am I the asshole for not prioritizing my ebf and for not refusing to do other things when I come home from work? Is he right when he expects undivided attention from me and when I can't give him that he is right to get mad at me and stop talking? Unlike him who lives alone I live with my parents so it's very hard for me to be left alone. I try to text him at work but work is hard and busy and I can't find the time for it. I think I also have ADHD so I completely forget that he exists and is online sometimes.

I honestly don't know what to do. Work is very stressful for me and I come home and I get this. I wish he was understanding especially during my work days.
8 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 110790

just block him.

Anonymous 110791


Please nona, you're not the idiot. Please don't feel like that is your fault. The other anons are right, he is just going to be more demanding of your time and less understanding of your responsibilities. You should not have to entertain him, and I don't think any mature or nice person would react that way to you. He was upset you didn't tell him to do something else? It seems like he wants you to mommy and take care of him when he should have his own life to take control of. Please don't think you are at fault for living your life! Do not feel like this is your fault. This moid is not a good one, he sounds immature and insecure. I'm sorry.

Anonymous 110795

>because I made him wait instead of telling him to go do something else. He was just staying online waiting for me to reply
So your moid has no agency for himself and needs constant guidance from you to get through his day. You're the idiot if you stay with that.

Anonymous 110876

if this was real you'd both hang out IRL which significantly reduces anxiety and allows you to experience alone time without expecting constant bids for connection

Anonymous 110894

It's clear from your screenshot and this entire story this isn't a real relationship. Just tell him it's over and block him.


Anonymous 110404[Reply]

My bf is very soft and sweet. I like that about him. He’s kind of dominant I guess but in like an actual dad way. Anyways he had to wear a suit today and he sent me pictures. He looked so nice and his hands looked so nice and masculine. I want him to actual man handle me and I feel like a pervert.
13 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 110705

My bf hates trannies so he's automatically better than yours

Anonymous 110706

That’s pretty good, but my bf hates porn and doesn’t even think about other women

Anonymouse 110731

my boyfriend isn't real , hes better than urs

Anonymous 110762


Anonymous 110775

This is just a thread where tourists (or OP) pretend to be femcels seething at anon for having a boyfriend - notice how this happens at large quantities specifically in this thread and nowhere else on this boyfriend-having site. Some posts have gone missing, FYI. So friendly PSA: THIS IS A GLOWSCROTE THREAD THIS IS A GLOWSCROTE THREAD THIS IS A GLOWSCROTE THREAD. thank you


How to avoid SA Anonymous 106343[Reply]

How can women avoid SA when hanging out with male friends, dating, or overall just living life.
24 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 109355

I honestly just avoid men unless they are gay. It's easy because I'm a lesbo. Other than that, I think you have to do the typical stuff like not accepting any drinks from men, not getting drunk around men, not being alone with men. Stay in public spaces around lots of people and always make sure you're with women too. There's no real way to avoid it other than just avoiding them.

Anonymous 109617

38. spcl

Anonymous 109633


Nona , I just want to say thank you so much for the cat image. I've had a bad day that's somewhat similar to the thread , thank you so much. God bless you. <3

Anonymous 110629

hate this defeatist ideology. SA isn't random, there are patterns to it. the emphasis is always on BIG PERCENTAGE OF WOMEN GET SA, when the side women should be looking at is the percentage that is never victimized, which is the vast majority. this "muh victim blaming" shit is counterproductive to the max. don't tell women who are NOT victims yet that SA just happens and they shouldn't bother taking any defensive measures.
to the best of your ability avoid all kinds of lowlifes and the areas they inhabit (poor neighborhoods) and frequent (clubs, festivals). avoid being outside alone after midnight. avoid being drunk in public. avoid creepy guys even if, or especially if they are family members. avoid running into that ex-boyfriend who was a little rapey and feels entitled to get handsy because he had your permission years ago. the list goes on and on. yes, it's not encouraging for women who happen to live in garbage poor neighborhoods for instance, or live under the same roof as a creepy uncle. but it is the right message regardless. keep trying to get out of there!

Anonymous 110647

don't go anywhere alone with a man or group of men. do not discuss sexual topics ever. be wary of overly nice men. you can't control other people's behavior but you can control when to enter/exit a social situation.
what a load of shit. scrotes still sexually harass fat/disabled/ugly women and then when they speak up they get told they're lying because "you're too ugly for that to happen". kys scrote.


Weird set up Anonymouse 110587[Reply]

I live in a pretty boring area and the men around aren't the greatest, so I sometimes talk to guys online even if it's just to be friends. I'm not too crazy about jumping into relationships anyway. Recently, I got out of a lame relationship with my ex who cheated on me a few weeks into us dating (wasn't feeling great about that one).

My online friend, K, suggested this guy to me, I'll call him W. From her description, he didn't sound like an amazing person, but honestly, what the hell did I have to lose at that point? If I'm sad, might as well make the situation more interesting, right? I've been talking to him every day for maybe the past few weeks, and honestly, I don't think I like like him, but I'm definitely attracted to him despite him being a weirdo!
Something about this guy screams to me that he'd throw me in front of a moving train just for some giggles, but he's fun to talk to. He larps all the time as different people for jokes, and it's hard to tell if what he's saying is the truth or not (K did tell me he did this kind of thing, so I wasn't surprised). Though he seems to have stopped because I've mentioned his addiction to larping in DMs. He's been to jail and is a little deranged, but besides that, we both really get along.

Apparently, online he is well known around and has lots of connections in the community I found K in. Apparently, even my ex knew who he was. When we first started talking, it was because K told me he wanted a girlfriend (I was more interested in the fact that all the stories existed about him, and to my surprise, he was happy to tell me everything). She told me I would be perfect for him. I can't really tell if that's an insult or if she's 100% correct.

I want to know what others think of this situation, I think its funny, just felt like sharing (not sure if K is trying to help me, or if she's trying to kill me)

Anonymouse 110588

I POSTED TWICE- im so sorry yall i was half awake, please delte one of them aarrggh


scared of online interaction Anonymous 109886[Reply]

How to get over that fear? After years of dwelling on imageboards and only interacting as an anonymous user I feel constant fear when talking to other people online. Owning an account makes me panic. Etc. Stuff like that. I am paranoid and I imagine catastrophe scenarios happening to me. I hate it. I wish I wasn't so weak. I'm the type of person to panic over a small hate comment, I know it's pathetic. It's funny because I've spent so many years on 4chan and the like and I feel that instead of building character it just traumatized me into fearing everyone. Please tell me there's a way out of this paranoid thinking loop. I want to be peaceful.

Anonymous 109892

Don't reveal personal info. It should be fine.

Anonymous 110002

Get off 4chan, touch grass, don't talk to incels. Realize that arguing on the internet is pathetic, touch grass again

Anonymous 110005

If you mind your business and don't engage with hate you shouldn't stir up anything too huge. And don't discuss sex with minors, which is very doable if you just avoid them.
If someone argues with you unprompted literally just ignore them.

Anonymous 110428

I was the same 8 years ago. What helped me was to meet a cool, very chill girl on discord, who was casually very open with everything. Like she already invited me to come to a BBQ the same day we first started talking privately in dms. But she wasn’t stupid or naive. She wasn’t a tech boomer. She enjoyed edgy jokes and memes, which is why she liked talking to me and what we bonded over. I later still deleted my discord out of online paranoia, but I try to emulate her a bit and also see the advantages of having a rich social media presence, because it can make certain things easier. That’s like the original idea of social media. It was always meant to help you with your real social life and not replace it.

Anonymous 110567

Just keep separate accounts, don't put all your eggs in one basket and tie everything to your IRL. As long as you can always delete an account and make a new one, it doesn't matter.
I was in the same situation as you and that's what I did. Once you realise that it's almost as transient as anonymous posts - just make a new one if you want to remove your previous history - it gets a lot easier. And then after a while you get used to having at least some history, and you can slowly acclimatise yoursely to using accounts more permanently.

Though not tying anything to IRL is also just basic precaution online, unless you're specifically talking to people that you know (or want to know) IRL. But you can build up somewhat more persistent identities slowly, as you gradually get more comfortable with it.

I still mainly go online anonymously but I do have a few active accounts in various places that I've kept alive for multiple years by now, and haven't felt the need to delete so far. You'll get there.

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