/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>118133

I have been abandoned in the past. It has left me unable to let my guard down or trust someone entirely. I'm madly in love with him and I'm obsessed with everything about him. He has been so kind to me and I just ruin everything every day. I feel so guilty and ashamed.

>>118136
I know it’s cliche but have you considered opening up to him and explaining? It might help him understand better and help you come up with solutions. Other women aren’t competition unless your moid is like Jordan Barrett level lookswise or super rich/extremely high status.

>>118137

I'm just being completely insane and irrational so there's nothing to really open up about.. Even if there was, I do a poor job of communicating. How do I communicate better and express my insecurities without causing an argument, do I just feel these feelings silently? Because it's to the point that every time I bring it up, it causes a new argument. I'm stuck in my ways. Other women shouldn't be considered competition at all. He loves everything about me and I'm just still so insecure.

>>118136
>>118138
Oh nona I'm in the same baot as you. my insecurities and mental illness/anger issues always cause a fight between us and I go insane without his attention and talking to him

I regret ever expressing how it feels to him and get angry at him when he doesnt react the way i want, I apologize and beg him to come back only to sabotage the relationship again and again

>>118132
not sure where you're at with him now, but it seems like you put it pretty clearly here and in writing. you could just copy and paste some of this into a text or something.

I also experience extreme jealousy (abandonment wounds from upbringing and was betrayed by first love, not sure if I'll ever see men/relationships as fully trustworthy, but I'm trying to be open). look, whether it's what you've been through or stories you hear through others in person or online, it's easy to completely absorb the idea that men are lustful apes with no self control or that every girl is out to steal your man and that this is some big fucking to the death sex competition, but there is so much more out there. it's the dwelling and obsession that you're getting stuck on because for as miserable as it is, it feels good. in a miserable way. it makes you feel like you are protecting yourself. I know the feeling. find what specifically you feel is hurting you. go to the source. your fear uses his likeness as a skin to mask itself so you don't suspect who is really at fault. it does not make you crazy or evil or selfish. it is a preoccupation with your self and something important to you. the truth is you probably don't have the best self esteem, even if you have moments of confidence or rationality. learn to sit with discomfort. learn to sit and watch. when you feel the impulse to attack or point something out to him about another woman or whatever thing you feel about yourself, just go quiet. I swear by this. just swallow it and breathe. if he genuinely isn't doing or hasn't done things to break your trust, then sit with the idea that this is a projection of you effectively "cheating on yourself" with these other girls. whether hate stalking them, comparing yourself to them incessantly in your mind, imagining scenarios of him and them, etc., you are thinking WAY too much about these other girls. which is what you're afraid of him doing, right? imagine what life would feel like if you spent that energy imagining the sweet things he's done for you, said to you, that you've experienced together. imagine if you thought up date ideas or an activity or a gift idea. imagine if you imagined yourself achieving something special, working towards a goal, no matter how simple. it becomes a habit in the brain, but you're not stuck this way. you're scared and need to activate some kinPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

OP i dont know what country you live in so i apologise if this advice isnt really applicable but i think the first step would be to look into government housing for your mum and grandma, your mum could also go to a job centre and register so it at least shows she is trying (considering her eligibilty for government housing). this isnt an immediate process so itll take time but that time could be for you to figure out what you want to do independently. i dont think you should feel so guilty about this although its inevitable im sure your mum and grandma have their own quarrels about depending on you and seeing how it could affect you and stress you, especially considering youre still young and this is the situation ur in. my last note would be make sure no matter what you chose to do with your independance should you be able to get it make sure you always have some sort of community as it is absolutely necessary, even some time apart and to breathe from family could make it fonder :)

>>118066
Send them money until you get better, maybe?

And is your emotional state really their fault? Perhaps talk to a therapist first, in case it's just an episode.

>>118290
nuts are great

>>118276
What if they had a relationship before but didn't had sex?

And sex isn't really rocket science either, when you're with a new partner you will need to learn what we both like anyway.

Would rather be with a man who is a virgin because of his values, or that just had 1 partner. It really depends of how that man is and behaves.

I had a relationship with a manwhore and I won't ever accept such putrid thing ever again.

if you know you know

>>108036
Get over it and grow up.

I've known all my life girls like you were fucking liars. Making my life harde than it needed to be. You were conartists and full of shit. Jealous about everything and making nice girls lives hell. I became a complete bitch because of girls like you. But all i wanted to do was enjoy my life away from moids and have nothing whatsoever to do with them. Its a curse though, men gravitate towards me because im easygoing and dgaf..and somehow becoming a bitch and having an attitude just made it worse. But all i want is for them to bother you and not me. Maybe if you calmed the f down and learned to chill you could take the burden away.

Please learn how lmao

>>118323

u what?

>>118296
Serious hobby time. Immerse yourself in video games and fantasy and you will forget. Get completely absorbed. The calender will flip by and you wont know what happened to that guy.

It's normal to feel how you do , it's a shame that you had common interests but it doesn't sound like something you're able to shake off, don't subject yourself to discomfort just because you were friends prior. Being around someone trooning out doesn't even feel like the same person most of the time because you know they're a gooner and retarded : (.
It doesn't have to be personal copying that makes you uncomfortable, it would be unsettling to be around someone mimicking essentially what he thinks you and women are all the time regardless.
That being said there probably isn't much you can do rather than distance yourself lord knows he would ape out if you mention being uncomfortable.

It's just impostor syndrome, don't worry
You can always ask him, you might be surprised about how highly he thinks of you too

>>111652
>Moid
Stopped reading there

You shouldn't feel the need to be better than him, maybe thats why you two r together? Because of your diffrences. Besides yr just a girl so

>>111659
when will we learn to just report moids and ignore?

>>111666
If you had to guess, what percentage of posters here are moids?

>>118129
Try janitor ai, it’s free and there’s no filter. Sometimes the site is buggy but I’ve been using it to chat with my husbando bot.

novelai

I don't have many friends or acquaintances left

Maybe a voluntary group? But my closest friends are chan acquaintances

If you hate texting just tell about it in the beginning. That way you won't set yourself up for failure

book club

MeetUp

the only friend i have within hours of me recently told me she didn't want to talk to me or hang out anymore because i was "affecting her spiritually." we went from close friends to complete strangers in like 2 weeks. i don't even know what she was talking about since she never had a problem with me being spiritual (not even atheist, just not a church person) before that.
so now its almost halloween, i'm 23, and i have zero friends to hang out with and zero prospects. i wish i was dead. i hate being a sperg woman

>>118094
I'm not a big fan of him texting his ex but she lives abroad.
They have been friends before they were dating and remained friends afterwards

He probably cheats too. You'll found out sooner or later. This type of people always cheat

>>118098
So is he a virgin or not?

>>118092
he didn't mention you or your friend again to her for another 6 months? it's probably fine. early stages, as you said.
but what did you want to have happen going through his phone and searching your name?

Having an "ex" as a "friend" is a straight up red flag.
Be better, breakup, you will regret it later on if you don't move out