/feels/ - Advice & Venting
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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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News: Please join our site discussion chat on Jan 12th! Click here
Please read the rules! Update to rule #7: 08/17/2018

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Anonymous 15326[Reply]

So what do y'all feel about non-monogamy? Open relationships, swinging, whatever y'all wanna call it.
40 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 15918

>>15832
This makes me so glad my parents are normal.

Anonymous 16148

>>15474

Polygamy is, genetically, good for 100% of women and like 10-20% of men.

Anonymous 16159

>>15488
https://divorceandyourmoney.com/blogs/why-is-the-divorce-rate-so-high/

>In a 2014 demography report, Kennedy and Ruggles write that rather than decreasing, the divorce rate in the US has been steadily increasing for the past 30 years.


>However, according to the Pew Research Center, Divorce rates have dropped 21% among those aged 25-39—from 30 in 1,000 to 24 in 1,000.


>Unfortunately, it is difficult to pinpoint whether the divorce rate is increasing or decreasing because:


>Some studies measure the divorce rate based on the number of divorces per every 1,000 people married. Others measure base it on a percentage of the total population. Still others base it on the number of divorces in a particular segment of the population.


>Many sources of statistics use the government census as the basis of their data, but all people in the US are not counted in the census. Other sources of statistics may be based on surveys conducted in a sampling of the population where people have the ability to bias their answers.


>However, we can agree on a relative estimate of the percentage of marriages that will end in divorce, which is high in the US.


Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 16165

>>16148
Looking at it from a nature vs nurture aspect the harm of being raised by a single parent outweighs the positives of being the son of the best looking male though.

Anonymous 16168

>>15832
Jesus… If my parents were like that I would disown them.



shit.jpg

Story time Anonymous 15976[Reply]

>Be me
>One of the lonely gfd anons
>Work full time at a family owned donut shop
>Gather all the unbought pastries at the end of the workday to transport to a nearby homeless shelter
>Begin walking with them outside
>Hear someone whistling what I think is Claire De Lune
>See a thin boy, looks around 19
>He has pretty green eyes and gorgeous orange fluffy hair with light streaks of blonde sprinkled about his cute little curled ends that go down all the way to the center of his chest
>He's 5'4''
>I put my hands to my mouth and let out, to say the very least, a not at all subtle gasp
>Drop all my pasted beauties in the process
>Create the kind of abstract art piece that would make Pollock proud, all over the sidewalk
>shit.jpg
14 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 16005

1536984102651.png

>>15995
>And that boy? He grew up to be Ben Sharpio.

Anonymous 16029

>>16005
now this is epic

Anonymous 16053

>>15988
>>15989
rip no, he didn't, just fucked up writing a bit is all

Anonymous 16115

>>15976
OP I just really wanna thank you for giving donuts and other baked goods to the homeless humans. I hope your dream-husbando can see the kindness and baking skills in your heart and appreciate you as a loving partner

Anonymous 16146

>claire de lune
>never let him go



6A973604-6018-4CF2…

YOUR BOYFRIEND GAVE ME THIS T SHIRT Anonymous 16041[Reply]

Her shirts says “YOUR BOYFRIEND GAVE ME THIS T SHIRT”. Do you think that’s rude? Would seeing someone with that shirt upset you? On the one hand it reminds me of that I’ve never had a bf, but on the other hand it makes me happy because the shirt assumes I have a bf which gives me hope that I can be normal and have a bf.
8 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 16098

>>16091
Imagine you report her and your bf to the police for the stolen property and defacing of the white t-shirt you owned.

Unless your boyfriend wears shirts cut this way.

Anonymous 16134

I thought OP pic was a feminine man, but it's a chick. Day ruined.

Anonymous 16138

>>16041
Internal "ha" and move on, anything else is an overreaction. If you don't like it an internal "tut" or "hmm" is exceptable, I suppose.

Anonymous 16141

Ugly t-shirt

Anonymous 16142

>>16134
Always check before you shlick.



archie-comics-vero…

me and a good friend are crushing on the same guy, help? Anonymous 15433[Reply]

both a good friend and I have feelings for this one guy, who I'm pretty sure is oblivious that we're both trying to subtly flirt with him. my friend and I have already talked about it and decided that whatever happens, we won't let a guy ruin our friendship. however, I'm scared that regardless of our promise, things might turn ugly, simply because she is a very emotional and sentimental person in general, regardless of whether one of us ends up with him or neither. she's giving me the feeling that she might feel jealousy when I'm talking to him in social situations, even though she says she's fine. I've also assured her that I would be happy for her if she ends up with him because she's still my friend and her happiness is just as important, although I can't really predict that I will be 100% okay if it does happen. has anyone been in a similar situation and how did it end between the friends and the guy? any advice?
6 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 15478

>>15458
>being this condescending towards a preteen

Anonymous 15535

>>15437
The only answer

Anonymous 16011

>>15433
just dont pursue let your friend tire him out and he will pine for you whenever they are hanging out become busy and go do other things pursue hobbies goals etc. be friends with your friend and let the dude find out that a thirsty chick isn't as interesting as the one he cannot have.

Anonymous 16056

I was in a similar situation and neither one of us ended up with the guy and we're no longer friends. Moral of the story is no relationships are permanent, so just do whatever the fuck you feel like doing.

Anonymous 16066

>>15437

As a girl slowing developing a cuckquean kink, I wholly endorse this plan :)

Seriously though, it's 2018 and I doubt either of you is looking for a lifelong commitment with this guy, would you be willing to share him? Would she?



18032ee4b8d86a5b71…

Anonymous 15796[Reply]

What do I do? I just need a quick "Itll be okay" or advice or something.
I feel so anxious and horrible and I just want everything to be okay.

A while back I was involved in a community, and there was one person who was a bit notorious for being bad to people/a bit nasty but I sympathized with them and befriended them. Eventually things singled out and now they're my only friend from that community. They never really did anything to me until recently.

They held a suspicion I was plotting against them with another person from the community and requested that I screenshared my private messages with them to prove I hadn't been. I wasn't ok with that and this lead to a big argument with them threatening to report my account/get it taken down if I didn't. I cracked because my account is dear to me. They promised that this would be the last thing. I was ok with it because I was innocent anyway. We did it and everything was fine again.

After that, some time, they told me they found my address through my IP. I know that usually its very very uncommon for that to happen which is some reassurance right now but there is a possibility which is scaring me like crazy. Recently the suspicion sparked back up again for whatever reason and they wanted something else, that had a lot more information. I refused to give it to them pretty much. Now they told me that they could spread my dox and tell my school/parents/neighbours about the inappropriate things I've done. I am just so petrified. I don't know if I should just delete my accounts/uninstall the app and hope they never find a way to contact me again.. But what if they do actually have my address? What if they contact me through some other means like my parents or my school or something? I don't know what to do. I feel so stuck and trapped. They have my phone number but they can't call it unless they get someone else to do it/get a fake number because my plan doesn't cover international calls.

I really really really don't know what to do. I have indeed done 'inappropriate' things but they don't have my nudes, but they may or may not be able to get me suspended from school/in trouble with my parents if they tried.
I just want this to be over. I hate feeling so trapped. pls help/give advice.
I really really can't just tell my parents this is happening since we're already on bad terms and they would take everything away from me if they found out.
14 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 15830

>>15829
This.
If all your friends do is drag you down, they're not even your friends in the first place.
Living alone is far better than being someone's punching bag.

Anonymous 15834

While I haven't had things like this happen to me, there have been a couple of times my friends dealt with similarly creepy people. The best thing to do (based on my friends' experiences) is just to cut all contact immediately. No need to say anything beforehand, just block them everywhere. Most of the time this is enough to make them give up, and they'll simply find someone else to obsess over. Continuing contact with them doesn't help, and it'd probably get progressively worse too.

Something like getting your address through your IP isn't very plausible btw. The only people who can link your address with your IP is your ISP, and they don't give that data without a court order. Bluffing like this, rather than giving an actually likely source for the address, shows that they don't have shit.

Anonymous 15843

Well, I did it. I sent them a message saying I didn't want to be friends with someone that threatened me and told them I was uninstalling the app we talked on and deleting my accounts and I did just that. They're managing to text/call me still but I'm not picking up or responding. The texts so far have just been them apologizing/saying they didn't mean it/won't do anything/asking me to come back but I won't fall for it.

Anonymous 16009

>>15796
how old are you? what innappropriate things did you do? what could really happen if shit hits the fan besides your parents getting more upset and cutting off the internet?

no hyperbole no shenanigans. this is some international cyberbullying nothing is going to come from it. lets assume they do have your address and accurate contact information what do they do hire a boogeyman to come and spook you? thats rediculous they are more than likely on the same social status rung as you are if not worse off they dont have the resources to do or act on anything. all of this is a bluff to make you respond exactly as you are now. you let the terrorists win.

block them on whatever means of contact you have and carry on.

>>15815
typical codependent relationshit block them and find a new hobby/chat environment

>>15843
block unknown numbers until you get a new number only respond to numbers you programmed into your phone moving forward if you get someones contact info add their name etc dont add anyone you dont meet irl.

Anonymous 16012

>>16009
Thanks anon, you're a very rational individual. I had not sent nudes or anything like that, just admitted to bad things like drugs and cutting myself and talked a lot of shit.

They admitted themselves that they were bluffing in a few frantic texts I ignored. I assume they won't give up fast but I don't care. I will proceed to ignore everything no matter what and never let anyone attempt to manipulate me like this again. Thank you.



F31E7C04-A43D-40FB…

It’s early in the morning and shit just went down.. im tired, anybody else? Anonymous 14794[Reply]

>tfw you get messaged that you were blocked by your bf was because he wanted to run off to another girl, but instead of telling the truth he makes up an entire jumanji game with him being the protag, telling me he loves me and that he wants a future and for me to wait for him when he comes back from his adventure, and then gets all of his friends to lie about it too.
>mfw I don’t even care that much because I already had conflicting feelings at the start
>mfw he tells me to find a man who can give the future I want for me, despite him making multiple claims and promises that he is that guy and I should stay with him and allow myself to be so vulnerable around him
>mfw he leaves me on read,
>mfw I called a suicide hotline from panicking and crying so much yesterday because of the lie he presented me, making me think he still loves me and that “he’ll be back..right?”
>mfw my first relationship
>mfw makes a game that he’s basically going to save the world with his elite skills and ends up making all of this shit up, with his friends who talked to me yesterday telling me everything is gonna be ok
>”I think you are really good for him, anon”
>”you are a wonderful person,anon”
>mfw I spent all this time worrying about him, buying him gifts, having him visit me,
Paying for his transportation (I’m in eu he’s in us)
>mfw I told him my abandonment issues, he says he would never do anything of the sort and that he’s the one for me
>mfw he ends up having me wake up to a message of him claiming love for me, saying he’ll be back in days,weeks,months,years, and that I should just wait for him
>mfw he tells me to trust him
>”trust me, ok anon? Ill be back, I love you.”
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
7 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 14806

>>14802
I’d love to have love. But I love me more,
It’s not narcissistic to love myself,
And thank you guys so much ;,,,,)
Y’all are like a big family to me, I really appreciate all of this.

Anonymous 14808

Yeah, he is a piece of shit who doesn't deserve to have you. Forget about him. Take care of yourself, eat healthy and start hitting the gym. It'll make you feel better about life and more hopeful about future.

You are definitely worthy of love and I can see you have a lot of love to give. I assure that there are people that are going to appreciate that.

Anonymous 14809

>>14808
Thank you so much! And I’ve been doing things that I used to have no motivation for, I’m greatful for y’all, thank you <;,,,))

Anonymous 15627

>>14794
Good riddance he doesn't deserve you

Anonymous 16010

>>14794
you played yourself. if it isn't local dont go for brokel. you can find someone anywhere you just invested too heavily into a high risk investment. dont wait or anything keep calm and carry on.



125123.jpg

I feel so bad Anonymous 15892[Reply]

>know bfs password on social media
>he doesn't text a lot of people so it was easy to scroll through old messages
>found out some messages with one of his good friends talking about how they would like to fuck a girl they know
>they rate other girls
>those messages were just a month before we started dating

How should I feel?

Anonymous 15894

Tbh, I would be upset if they were after we started dating. But 1 month prior, who cares?

Like I would only care as far as I dislike this kind of attractiveness "dude I'd fuck her" rating and the "just boys being boys" acceptance people have for it, but I wouldn't care about it as far as the relationship went. I'd expect most guys to act like this when we weren't dating, that doesn't make it okay or something it's just a problem of the times, but it wouldn't make me feel cheated on or threatened or betrayed.

Anonymous 15897

Tell him what you did so he knows he's dating a person who has no respect for his privacy.

Anonymous 15898

>>15897
Yup. Your relationship's not going anywhere good if you had interest enough to learn your bf's passwords and actually went through with snooping through them. Fess up.

Anonymous 15904

Honestly, I'm a girl (ofc) and I've said similar shit to my friends. I'd feel bad if someone broke up with me for it since it wouldn't apply to my relationship with them lol.
You were sexually attracted to people before him, I'm sure. If not you guys may have mismatched sex drives which could be an actual issue.

Anonymous 15920

He sounds like a total bonehead but you ought to know that by now, and you're not exactly paragon of virtue yourself, breaking into his social media like that.



b660b32eddc98c7ed6…

Tips on how to be more feminine? Anonymous 15486[Reply]

I feel like I'm not feminine enough. I swear I try hard AF by dressing well and wearing pretty makeup and perfume and taking care of myself but I always look like a solb :(
I also wish I were more delicate in my moves and behaviours, but it doesn't matter how hard I try, I always end up benig tomboyish

Does anyone else have this problem?
How did you solve it?
Any general tips on how to be more feminine?
10 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 15694

>>15684
Me, too, anon… Sometimes even when I'm just nervous I'll do that.

Anonymous 15785

>>15665
men are not welcome on /feels/

Anonymous 15825

>>15486
Cut your penis off

Anonymous 15860

Look at celebrities you like and try to imitate them. Or people from real life but try to be subtle obviously.

Anonymous 15891

>>15860
I hope OP doesnt like Miley Cyrus, because if so she's fucked



a09165d0-3048-4605…

Anyone here doesn't talk to their parents? Anonymous 13786[Reply]

>Do you have a fucked up relationship with your mom/dad or both? Why?
>How do you get over it?

It sucks knowing most people have a normal relationship with their parents but I don't
5 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 13832

>>13831
I see. Sorry for being mistaken, then, I'm generally pretty open about it so apologies for not remembering the conversation. Don't feel bad about bad advice; it's something that I've been figuring out a lot more over the last year or so about my father, and also talking about it more brings it back more because I'm repressing it less (finally mentioned it to psychologist for the first time, and my mother) which has given me a lot of clarity on what happened. I'm sure the advice was fine, but I'd like if you contacted me on discord so I can apologize more directly, though I understand if you don't want to.

Anonymous 13834

>>13832
It's for the best that I don't add you. You don't owe me any apologies. If you're trying to feel out who I am I assure you that you're better off not knowing.

Anonymous 14270

I wish I had a close loving family.

Anonymous 14278

>>13786
>Do you have a fucked up relationship with your mom/dad or both?
Both of them, but primarily my dad because I was subject to him a lot longer and he was a more active abuser. I have no love for my mom, but she's easier for me to deal with. I've been no contact with both for years though.

> Why?

Sexually/physically/emotionally mentally abused by my dad and brother for as long as I could remember and my mom enabled it for as long as she was around. My brother was the golden child and my dad would jump through hoops to protect/coddle him (even shady illegal things to cover for him), and by extension my mom would do the same while she was around because she just followed my dad's lead. When my mom finally left my dad, she flaked hard on being a mom and didn't try to talk to us or check in on us until she got lonely when all her relationships failed and suddenly she wanted to be apart of my life again, but also she wanted to use me as an emotional punching bag to distract from her own mistakes and flaked out on paying for my tuition after a single semester when she offered to pay for it all. My dad continued to be the a scumbag and raised his son to be the same, also let some other men abuse me later. It's harder for him to write about him because it's so upsetting, but I could go on for a looong time about awful shit he did himself, without even scratching the surface on what he allowed/encouraged my brother/others to do.

>How do you get over it?

The first step was getting out and cutting contact. After that, time, distance, and a lot of work on addressing my issues that are a result of the abuse (an ongoing and probably never ending process). At the time of breaking contact, I was mostly focused on getting away and was driven by a lizard brain response, I was very bottled up and hadn't processed a lot of stuff because I just needed to get by, but now after processing some stuff I'm raging mad about a lot of it, and I'm not sure how I'd react if I was forced to see them in person again, but I also never want to contact them again and I do what I can to keep my distance. My partner is also an indispensable source of support, and I'm putting them last in this post mainly because it feels so disgusting to even write about them in the same post as my nPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 15673

>>14278
I wanted to reply to you back when you wrote this but it's so much I don't even know how to touch it.

I'm sorry life has been this way for you. It's not fair. I don't know if you care but meeting people like you helps me accept my own physical/sexual abuse much better. I hope you continue to find a way to be okay anon.



51uBrapzTeL.jpg

Grudges Anonymous 15442[Reply]

Do you hold grudges? Is it really a petty thing, or just hard to "forgive and forget"? Do you say you're "over" something but not really?
I would say I'm pretty forgiving, but still feel bitter about some stuff from the past. Tell me your thoughts anons!
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 15464

>>15459
It depends if they actually forgive and move on, or if they just bottle it up like you said. Because people who do the former are amazing to me. When something bad happens to me I just keep ruminating over it, it brings so much anger and sadness that I can't do anything with. That's what happens when you have grudges. They hurt you the most, not the person who slighted you unless you go out of your way to make them miserable, and even then it doesn't make the situation better.

Anonymous 15484

OP here, I can understand all of your feelings well. What made me want to create this thread is because I felt guilty for not being as forgiving as some people, but I think it can be frustrating if the person in question does not apologize or recognize that what they did upset you. I ended a friendship bc a girl befriended someone who she knew I had a long-held grudge against, and she didn't understand why that freaked me out (plus she tried to hide it)…lame but oh well, I couldn't pretend like it didn't bother me anymore.

Anonymous 15507

backstab3.gif

I hold grudges, it's really hard for me to forgive and forget until all my anger has passed. At the same time it's reallyyy hard to upset me, so -shrug-

Anonymous 15511

I don't forget or forgive in the traditional sense, I just remove that person and everything that has to do with them out of my life completely. They simply no longer exist to me. I don't want to dwell on the dumb shit they said, I can make myself miserable enough without other people doing my job for me. Unless someone fucks over someone I love and needs to be put in their place, I never lose my temper or wish ill on anyone. I've only ever erased four people in my life, and they deserved it.

Anonymous 15518

>>15507
Sounds like you want the most of both worlds.



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