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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Please read the rules! Last update: 01/18/2019


Anonymous 15115[Reply]

this is a bit of a silly question that could easily be googled, sure, but - how do you tell if a guy is 'interested' in you? even just vaguely interested. im clueless about friendship and romantic relationships and really want my first bf.

a guy grinned at me after approaching me with his friend once and he called me a gem after, i dunno if he was just being polite or if he maybe wanted to be my friend/was interested in me. today i introduced myself/told him to call me my real name instead of my nickname though, i just wanna get on the right track to getting a boyfriend
20 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 15424

For some reason the idea of asking a boy out on a date sounds horrifying to me. I think next I'll ask him for his name then after that I'll ask him for his phone number or something.

Anonymous 15426

Oh. Yeah if you don't even know his name then don't go for it yet. Get to know him a little and then ask him out.

Anonymous 15477

Today he said "You really are a gem you know that" to me and he walked up to me and told me I looked lonely and invited me to stand with his friends, we didn't really talk then outside of me telling a joke they all found funny but this makes me really really happy. Maybe I'm finally going into normiehood

Anonymous 21399

update: nothing happened with this to my dismay, but just today i messaged him a joke (we're still friends - its just clear he doesnt like me like that) and he responded telling me his friend wanted to 'hit me up', and one of his friends added me and we've been conversing all day and they are very clearly into me. i hope this works out!

Anonymous 21402

good luck!


Anonymous 21196[Reply]

Is anyone else here a closeted weeb? Can we have a thread about these feels plz?
24 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 21397

I think so, but the insane number of episodes could keep someone late to it busy for a while.

Anonymous 21401

I made a new year's resolution to finally learn Japanese, since I've been meaning to do so for years but have never bothered to actually start. Now I'm a month into kanji/vocab, and honestly it's easier than I thought it would be, though prior to this I already knew my kana and had picked up a lot of vocab/grammar from anime (of the +500 words I've gone through so far, maybe a couple were something I didn't already know).

Hardest part is definitely starting because learning thousands of kanji seems so daunting, but after a while doing your daily reviews becomes a routine.

Anonymous 21403

Yeah, but there's a sequel, Boruto, which is currently ongoing.

Anonymous 21459

i know what you mean, the worst trope for me is the tripping one where the guy always catches her. It even seems to worm it's way into the more stand out original anime/otome games.

Anonymous 21462

Normal brain:convert friends to weebs
Galaxy tier brain: convert parent to weebs

My mom watched Candy Candy and Heidi in her youth and I recently showed her how to view it online. I’ve been noticing her watch history that she is viewing sailor moon (which was reccomended by algo).

If all goes well she should be familar with such gems like Shirobako by years end


Good looking men Anonymous 9357[Reply]

Has anyone here dated a man more attractive than them? Are they more likely to cheat?
45 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 10257

better just be a lesbian or commit suicide then

Anonymous 11312

Do you have any source for this /r9k/ tier generalization?

Anonymous 11313

Anonymous 11323

And the one who's always known he can get as many as he wants somehow doesn't want any? He's the one who's satisfied with a single girl who's less attractive than him?

That really does not make any sense. Sounds like you're just falling for the halo effect.

Anonymous 11324

I was in a similar situation anon. I was with this guy who had similar characteristics as the guy you were with.
>at a better university than me
>in an honors program and aiming for a prestigious degree & career
Personally I didn't find him really attractive but the fact that he had a lot going for him, was good at his hobbies, and had a great personality made me like him a lottt more and I did feel inferior to him.

Would he ever cheat? I don't think he would've. He seemed way too sweet to ever do that but we weren't together long so I don't know. What we had was very short lived and not very serious.


don't hate me Anonymous 8399[Reply]

why did I have to be raised by a single mother I'm such a pathetic piece of cowardly shit
20 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 8426

Society sucks.
My brother kept me alive.
I thought I was gay but it's not the solution

Anonymous 8427

I can't hate anyone.
women feel wicked when you're unwanted but everyone is just scared looking out for themselves

Anonymous 8430

Do you love your mom?

Anonymous 8455

At least the pain is over with, anon. Someone should've been there to protect you from all of that terror. I can only hope you can have someone to console you through this trauma.

Anonymous 8461

Stop blaming other people for your own shortcomings. Grow up.


Relationship attraction issues Anonymous 7040[Reply]

Okay guys I'm drunk enough to ask you some real questions since I wouldn't be able to ask them sober

I'm currently dating a really nice dude, nicer than other dudes or ladies I've encountered. Let's call him Robert. I've known him for half my life.

>feeling good

But then my attraction starting decreasing for Robert when I got reminded of a dude I had spoke to briefly in my class a year ago, let's call him Jason. He is smart and successful, but the dude I'm dating isn't really successful. He is hardworking but isn't bright. Thing is I don't know anything about Jason. I haven't spoke to Jason since class a year ago and we spoke minimally if anything hardly.

>start contemplating

Jason starts coming out in my recommended list on one social media application and I start thinking more about him. We are not friends. I start thinking, maybe I should add Jason and get to know him. On the other hand I have this wonderful nice dude I'm dating, it's just the overall physical attraction and brightness part is personally getting to me.

Advice? Should I just break it off with this nice dude if I feel this way? Work it out? Should I befriend Jason even if we weren't friends in person? Is that weird? I don't know what to do, the drink can only help so much guys
7 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 7061

I agree with you guys but I've already talked to him about it. I don't think the physical attraction can really change that much you know?

Anonymous 7065

It definitely can, but asking for someone to work on themselves is super super rude. I honestly think you should lay it out and end it. AVOID fighting and leave it on a good note as best you can.
Definitely agree with some other anons that you should also introspect and avoid jumping into a relationship so quickly with someone else.

Anonymous 7104

Yeah I should.I just find Jason attractive physically although not knowing anything about him truly

Anonymous 7133

>I'm currently dating a really nice dude, nicer than other dudes or ladies I've encountered.

Sounds like you should be platonic friends with him, if that's his standout quality.

>Thing is I don't know anything about Jason. I haven't spoke to Jason since class a year ago

You'd rather think about someone you met a year ago and don't know anything about than the person you're "dating". You are not attracted to this Robert guy at all. Like, AT ALL.

You should stop "dating" Robert and clear your head for a while. Figure out why you were trying to date someone you're not attracted to.

Anonymous 21418

This thread is 8 months old and inactive. Why do you keep bumping dead threads


Self Esteem Anonymous 21286[Reply]

How did you manage to build some up? I don't have any and it's wrecked every single relationship throughout my life. I don't want to live like this anymore

Saint 21332


Just take a moment to think, that you will die one day. You will be thinking of every moment you missed out on or regret everyday until you die.

From this day forward you should never regret anything you do. If you want something, go out and get it. If you hate yourself, go out and change it.

You control everything you do, so you might as well go and do everything you want, before its too late.

Anonymous 21352

Every day point out one positive thing that happened to yourself i.e. learnt something new, made it to an appointment on time.

Some days I even just remind myself I have yet to kill someone with my car which is a nice feeling.

Anonymous 21358


I started doing and achieving things I feel proud of. Advice like "just liek hav self esteem", "focus on the good things xd" are useless IMO, however well intentioned.

If you read a lot of books, say, Kafka's complete novels, you can say "hey, I knoe a lot about Kafka". If you ace a test, if you talk with a guy you like even for 10 seconds, if you make a painting, you can actually say " I made this", no self delusion.

In the end, thats what "esteeming" is about. Putting a value on things (yourself, in this case!)

Having enjoyable sex really helped my self esteem. Bad sex dd the opposite. Do you thing you can find a nice fellow, op?


Anonymous 18187[Reply]

i met this guy on discord. he's like 25, and i'm 30. we became very close and i'd have these fantasies about actually meeting up with him. i know some girls who met their husbands online so why not? but then he started like mailing me gifts and things started to seem like they might actually happen, and i got cold feet. it's been literal years since i've dated anyone and my own life is kind of a mess i'm trying to fix right now, and driving like 12 hours to go see him seemed really scary. i sorta tried to get time off work to go see him but when my pto request was denied i didn't really push for it anymore.

then we really started to butt heads politically. he's a trump voter and i'm very much not. i'm sorta wondering if i kinda pushed things in that direction purposely or if it just kinda happened. i'm kinda obsessed with politics and like to share my opinions. idk.

anyway, i told him that now wasn't a good time and i need to work myself out before i can really consider dating anyone very seriously. he was upset but kind of okay with it. we kept talking though, as friends at first, but then things were kinda right back where they were with us being kinda seriously into each other. then he met another girl, irl.

now we don't talk very much, and when we do it's not the deep, meaningful communication that we used to have. i probably shouldn't feel this way, but i miss talking to him a lot. it doesn't help that i'm kind of a loser, and don't have much in the way of friends. right now i feel sort of hurt, and then like i shouldn't feel that way because it's my fault in the first place for pushing him away.

i really miss him, silly as it all sounds.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 18268

thanks for pic related >>18187

and you're not silly, anon. allow yourself to feel sad for a while.

Anonymous 18362

Just keep talking to him and cuck her current girl.

Anonymous 18363

She is clearly just a rebound for him anyway, he must still want you deep inside because the only reason you didn't get further was because of outside reasons.

Anonymous 18365

Don't listen to this >>18362 whore's advice.

Anonymous 21334

Stop talking like a disgusting smegsie.


Why are they like this? Anonymous 16677[Reply]

>meet a cute guy, we get on well and he’s funny and kindhearted
>he seems like he’s interested, we start flirting at a party and things are looking promising
>next time we’re at a party I’m going at it, (“let’s share a seat”, lots of hugging eye contact etc)
>this time somethings wrong, he looks all conflicted and uncomfortable
>turns out one of his friends, who is in my lectures, likes me and he has promised not to “get in his way”
I never expressed any interest in that guy and made it clear to him but now it’s ruined forever just for some bullshit territorial boy friendship thing.
59 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 17026

>gross men

Anonymous 17029

You're probably not in an impoverished country where there is a real financial incentive to being in a rich guy's harem so you can afford basic necessities, the only motivation for engaging in polyamory in developed nations is sexual hedonism.

Anonymous 17030

We need to help these women so they don't need to resort to that

Anonymous 17061

If T invites K when he could hang out with just you alone, he's never going to make a move on you or he's going to reject you (he's been doing it for a while now girl, wake up)

Anonymous 17392

It kind of feels like you use what happened as an excuse for why you don't like K. Especially seeing as you didn't really like him prior to that either.


College/Uni feels Anonymous 10[Reply]

Share the good, the bad, and hell of pursuing a degree. Whether it be living in a dorm with a horrible roommate, classes kicking your ass, or something happening relating to school that has filled you with joy.
178 posts and 41 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 21193


Do you ever study with someone else? I think it would be helpful (not for theory but for problems) but I don't have any friends and it's scary to just ask someone if we can study together.
I also like to draw on my notes when I get sick of studying, pic related it's me when I realize I will never be as smart as I wish.

Anonymous 21258

Rarely. I tend to get more done when I'm alone, but sometimes I wish I had a study friend that was working on something else for the company, or someone who was in my classes so we could work on problems together.
sorry those aren't my notes, I used to doodle on my notes, but now I like to keep doodles and notes separate

Anonymous 21283


I don't use notes. My handwriting sucks and I found that I never actually looked at my notes anyways so I end up just rereading the textbook or looking online. Probably is a poor method of studying but it works for me.

Anonymous 21288

If what you're doing works, that's fine, but research points towards analogue writing as a way to retain information. Not because you'll look at it again, but the act of writing it helps you remember.

Anonymous 21329

Yeah I usually also never reread my notes but it's so helpful to just write things down


Anonymous 19435[Reply]

> meet cute boy online
> get his telegramm
> text for over 3 months every fucking day
> today he said he actually want gay boyfriend
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 19449

>Hey <guy you like>, are you gay?
How do you see that ending well for you? Like at all?

Anonymous 19452

sounds like he led you on if it wasn't obvious. He might be bi and just decided he prefers guys. sucks for you anon, no harm in feeling like shit for a while but eventually try to move on and give things another shot with someone in the future.

Anonymous 19453

I'm not op, I just think asking a guy if he's gay is a recipe to destroy any chance you ever had with him.

Anonymous 19455

well op can still read that anyways i guess. and you might be surprised what some guys are willing to put up with if they like you enough.

Anonymous 19457

I call my guy friends "faggot" all the time and they'll laugh it off or deny it. I imagine if you called an actual gay dude that he'll either get offended or roll with it.

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