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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

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Feeling disconnected from people Anonymous 64637[Reply]

Everyone just pretends to know me and i cant even prove myself to be intellectually above others due to adhd and my thoughts just being weird, not genius, just creative and anxiety inducing. Im tired of this. All i want is to raise my social status through hard work. All i want is to be an epic sigma lolz i have the fucking mindset but i just cant do it because adhd and people dont understand especially since im a woman they think im just a typical dumbass woman who doesnt want anything more from life and is depressed and anxious because of silly little mundane matters im gonna fucking k*ll m
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 64649

Have you been professionally diagnosed with ADHD or internet diagnosed?

Anonymous 64653

>>64649
That doesnt even matter, doesnt matter if i use the term adhd or not, i keep focusing on the wrong things and cant keep my mind off them and need something to control my brain

Anonymous 64655

>>64653
It really does because internet ADHD diagnosis doesn't get you access to Adderall (legally).

Anonymous 64660

>>64655
this. used to be in the same position as OP, making excuses but then I put the work into getting a diagnosis and now I understand my symptoms better. also doing speed obviously helped.
>I have the fucking mindset but I just can't do it
then you don't have the mindset stop lying to yourself

Anonymous 64721

I accepted that I am special, therefore I am.



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I am fucked Anonymous 64644[Reply]

>22 year old high school graduate, autistic hikkikomori,have shit motor /executive functioning/ verbal/ writting and social skills that immediately distinguish me amongst other adults and make me a target for ableism
>Not on disability cause psychiatrist keeps procrastinating
>It's the start of the school year where you have to attend preuni classes for a year in order to take the uni entrance exam
>Can't even study cause i have a meltdown whenever i think about it
>Last time I tried attending i had a meltdown
>parents expect me to enroll
11 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 64674

>>64644
I'm a schizo but I gout through university.

Anonymous 64677

>>64644
>hiki
>school year
choose one

Anonymous 64687

>>64674
You can be intelligent and schizophrenic, for the most memey example there's Terry Davis. As, while he may have been batshit insane, he wasn't stupid.

Anonymous 64702

I am in a similar situation, except I'm not going. I refuse to go.

Anonymous 64715

>>64665
>>64663
Ok valid i understand

>>64702
Same but bro what are you gonna do when they start forcing


>>64677
I don't understand what you don't understand,i haven't stepped into school or work stuff since 17



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Anonymous 64673[Reply]

Is it normal to want a relationship, want to have intimacy with someone, have an interest in romance, and then when a real guy takes an interest in you, go completely numb? Why does this happen?

Anonymous 64676

>>64673
maybe you have a very superficial view of it all, or you simply developed a fear of compromise.

Anonymous 64685

>>64673
The cause could be you have unreasonable ideas of what a relationship is from movies, shows, games, or your own imagination and reality can never live up to your expectation, so you have all these high hopes and a craving for a relationship, but then when the opportunity is in front of you, you realize it isn't like how you imagined so you back out. Have you ever been in a relationship before?

Anonymous 64717

Maybe the guy who showed interest in you just wasn't your type? Being interested in romance doesn't mean being interested in every single person who tries to romance you. Try finding a guy who interests you more and making the first move yourself.



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Anonymous 51183[Reply]

I don't know how to feel about the fact that most men growing up now consume porn to some degree.
52 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 58830

>>51183
do you consider yourself sex positive?

Anonymous 58832

>>51364
I dunno, gut dysbiosis can make people behave in some pretty insane ways

Anonymous 58938

porn ruined an entire generation of men

Anonymous 64705

>>51183
Gave me unrealistic expectations, made it harder for them to enjoy actual sex, and made it harder for men to empathize with women.

Anonymous 64706

>>64705
Gave men*



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I fucking hate that on many imageboards there is promotion of pedophilia Anonymous 64513[Reply]

I go to 4chan, there is pedophilia, I go to 16chan, there is pedophilia, I go to other imageboards, there is pedophilia. I mean, it's clearnet and they should have some rules instead of that shit.
12 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 64578

>>64566
are you disabled, anon?

Anonymous 64593


Anonymous 64609

>>64513
The thing about loli/shota drawings is that, yes, they're not real, so you can draw them. However, if you're drawing/consuming drawings of underage children then there's something fucked in your head.

Anonymous 64634

>>64566
Hate to break it you there pal but 20-25 is just as much of a kid as a 16-19 year old…..

Anonymous 64635

>>64634
Hate to break it to you, but anyone beneath 30 might as well be a fetus.



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How to be less clumsy Anonymous 64490[Reply]

I started a new job where I have to be pretty quiet and it's making me realize how often I bump into things and drop stuff. It's pretty bad. I'm trying to be more spatially aware of where my body is but it's not working very well.
Any other clumsy anons?

Anonymous 64499

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I fucking spilt a tray of rainbow sprinkles as I was walking on my very first day on a job

Anonymous 64527

>>64490
I was the exact same way, here is that I did.
slow, deliberate action - you need to practice.
also, work out. nothing insane, just do push-ups/sit-ups on a yoga mat.
knock it off with the caffeine, Starbucks is literal poison.

Anonymous 64531

>>64490
My coordination is so bad I got diagnosed with an actual medical disability. So I just use that to make people feel bad if they make fun of me.

Anonymous 64623

>>64527
I second working out. It's done wonders for me in terms of getting more coordinated and aware of my body and just being more graceful in general. You can also go to youtube and search up exercises for coordination specifically, or look for dance workouts. Do them very slowly at first if you need to, but you should see improvement and be able to do them more quickly if you do them consistently.



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dad is dying Anonymous 64581[Reply]

My dad got diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. We only found out he had any kind of cancer just two weeks ago. What am i supposed to do? I feel so lost. Sorry for retarded image
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 64584

Sorry anon. Stage 4 stuff usually means they dont have much time. I would say spending all the time you can with him before he passes. Take lots of videos and pictures so you never forget him.

Anonymous 64588

Unfortunately there is nothing to do but enjoy what little time you have together. If there have ever been things you wanted to tell your father or questions you wanted to ask him, do it now while you still have the chance. Once he's gone, he's gone. Enjoy him while he's here. Mourn once he's gone.

Anonymous 64605

Fill him with love. Kisses, hugs. Not doing that with my mom in her final moments is my biggest regret.

Anonymous 64612

Cook or bake something for him maybe, I'm sure he'd be happy about that. I'm sorry I can't give better advice, I wish him and you well.

Anonymous 64614

>>64581
Best thing you can do is to just be with him.



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bf gets sad because of my ed Anonymous 64464[Reply]

Everytime i mention my eating disorder or tell my boyfriend i feel bad he gets really sad. He feels he's not good enough for me because he can't help me and many times he cried because of it. Now I messaged him telling him how upset I am because I can't eat fish fingers made by my mom and I didn't know he's gaming with his friends. I ruined his 'boys night'. I tried not talking with him about these topics but I just can't. He always tells me to talk about my struggles but then he gets so sad. I just want to talk with somebody about my problems. He's the only pearson in my life that I can talk with about everything.

Please excuse my typos or grammar mistakes.
7 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 64476

Do you have a therapist

Some things you cant simply talk to your bf/friends about, you need a professional who knows how to help. After a certain point imo it’s unhealthy to depend on normal people for all your emotional support if you have issues like this

Anonymous 64481

He sounds a bit obsessive, best just not tell him things that will upset him.

Anonymous 64483

thank you all for your replies! I came to conclusion I will attempt recovery, this time for real.

>>64465
18 and I don't think he tries to manipulate me, he just really loves me and cares about me.
>>64471
I don't just talk about it for no reason, mostly it's him who starts the conversation because he noticed I lost weight or just don't look well.
>>64466
I know he tries to support me. I just don't want my problems to become his and I feel hopeless because I don't know how to stop. Now that I'm motivated to recover I feel it might be easier.
>>64468
I'm trying to tell him how it's not his fault and I know he doesent feel like he caused my problems. I sure will try to reasure him more often!
>>64470
k
>>64471
I have a therapist and I don't feel like I just vent for no reason. He's the one who starts the conversation. I try to tell him I'm fine but it's obvious I'm not when all of my clothes are way to big because of weightloss.
>>64472
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 64484

>>64483
>Just really loving and caring
It seems like this, but if he can't separate your problems from his it will eventually start consuming him and he'll start to be angry with himself and it might reflect negatively on relationship. It's his emotions so it's his problem, but you should probably keep in mind he's like this and 'spare him'.
If he's ruined a "boy's night" because of your message his friends won't see him as caring or loving, but as a little bitch and eventually they'll get tired of him, and he will get tired of himself.

Anonymous 64591

>>64464
Are you sure it's just your ED? I have met several persons with eating disorders and they always had some bigger issues like personality disorders, and the ED was just the icing on the cake



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Anonymous 64590[Reply]

>makes jokes about gangstalking and pure paranoia
>starts believing that i'm being gangstalked
>mfw i get in this sorta shit


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phrases to use when standing up for myself? Anonymous 64323[Reply]

Hi girls. Sometimes my bf will do or say something that I'm not comfortable with, and I get so scared of making him upset or worried that I don't tell him my feelings. I feel like it's easier to just accept it than break the barrier of voicing my thoughts. I also get scared to invite him to do things I think are fun because if he doesn't like it I'll just feel anxious and responsible for him not having a good time.
Obviously this is a problem and not sustainable but I literally don't even know where to start.
I grew up in an environment where telling people my needs didn't get me anywhere so now I feel like it's pointless. I don't want it to be a pattern in my relationships but I can't stop, it is drilled into my being to just accept whatever happens.
:( Help Me
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 64353

>>64328
>>64330
OP again, I guess an example is I want a picture of us together but I don't want to be the annoying girl who asks for selfies so I just drew us on a sticky note and keep it around my room

Anonymous 64354

>>64323
It's alright to just say, "I don't want to do this." If he's a cool guy he'll understand. Don't be afraid to invite him, if he doesn't like it that's just being human

Anonymous 64399

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Hissing speaks louder than words and lets anyone annoying you be reminded that you are the alpha female.

Anonymous 64420

>>64353
Oh yeah i think i get what you mean. You need more practice taking up space and voicing your needs/wants. There’s nothing wrong with having a request/wanting to do something. If someone makes you feel like “the annoying girl” for wanting to do fun stuff then they’re the problem. I used to be the same way, and still kind of am sometimes. I guess as you get older you stop giving as much of a shit. It takes practice but eventually you’ll grow a thicker skin.

Anonymous 64422

>>64353
>hey can we take a picture together?
>sure
Its that simple, try to stop overthinking so much



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