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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

775E0D18-FC42-45CD…

How to avoid SA Anonymous 106343[Reply]

How can women avoid SA when hanging out with male friends, dating, or overall just living life.
22 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 109335

>>109099
Didn't work for me. Still got SA'd.

Anonymous 109354

>>109048
It’s been months and you’re still trying to talk miners into getting fat? Either fatty with horrible self esteem trying to bring down other women or moid with a fetish.

Anonymous 109355

I honestly just avoid men unless they are gay. It's easy because I'm a lesbo. Other than that, I think you have to do the typical stuff like not accepting any drinks from men, not getting drunk around men, not being alone with men. Stay in public spaces around lots of people and always make sure you're with women too. There's no real way to avoid it other than just avoiding them.

Anonymous 109617

38. spcl

Anonymous 109633

IMG_8438.gif

>>109101
Nona , I just want to say thank you so much for the cat image. I've had a bad day that's somewhat similar to the thread , thank you so much. God bless you. <3



Phoenix_Waifu_Av.p…

Anonymous 102984[Reply]

My husband is doing everything he can for me to help me but I still want to scream at him.
7 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 103081

Excuse me, I don't want to make you feel any discomfort and saying this in a roundabout way won't have the same effect, so I put it bluntly. Do you believe that he is too good for you because he acts so flawless towards you even though you feel like you're dead weight and this is why you get mad at him? Is it that you're mad at him because either you feel that you don't deserve him or that his act is condescending or you want him to be more human and see him struggle too or you want him to be mad at you because you somehow think you deserve that or is it a mix of all of the above or maybe something else in this sort of way? I'd say it is not that uncommon and you don't need to feel too bad about yourself as you already have noticed that there is something wrong imo the reason for this is the inbalance in your relationship.

Anonymous 103087

>>103021
You "think"? Despite him being such a decent scrote, rare as they come?

Anonymous 103094

>>103021
He sounds horrible, you should leave him. And give me his contact information.

Anonymous 103106

>>103079
I told him about it and he just hugged me and said don’t worry. I’m still retarded, but at least I was able to communicate.

Anonymous 103108

>>103081
It’s the feeling like dead weight for me. Someone just doing so much for me and asking for nothing set off an alarm in my retarded brain and made me feel like shit.



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thread for those with quiet bpd Anonymous 109502[Reply]

hi girls. here’s a thread to vent/share your experiences with quiet bpd.

for me, i’m tired of feeling like an ocean. i’m tired of feeling everything so deeply all the time. i’m tired of never feeling happy, content, or at peace with myself. i’m tired of always feeling misunderstood. i’m tired of always looking for happiness through external means and never through my own presence. i’m tired of latching onto whoever or whatever i think can provide my happiness. i’m tired of looking to relationships to provide all my good feelings. i’m tired of feeling terribly threatened by the potential loss of any thing or person i think provides my happiness. i’m tired of loving people incapable of loving me back. i’m tired of how deeply i hate myself. i’m tired of consuming myself.

Anonymous 109503

>>109502
Im sorry nona, i hope you get better!

Anonymous 109561

EF92FB6A-F51C-44DE…

I’ve fully accepted I will never be loved. I’m so fucking retarted I ruin absolutely everything with guys. Not even attractive men, I just settle for the bare minimum so maybe they’re less likely to leave. I’m not ugly either, and I’ve been told I’m pretty and attractive on numerous occasions. Finding men who don’t want to just have sex and leave is impossible. I wish I was gay literally all I want is a boyfriend I can just vent to who can reassure me that I’m loved. I’ll probably never get that because unfortunately I’m fucking insane and I scare them all away. Two different guys asked me out on a date and both ghosted me before the date. I don’t know what I did I’m just so hurt and tired. I didn’t even tell them I was mentally ill I probably just did or said something that gave it away. They probably found someone better or prettier or more normal I just hate myself so fucking much.

Anonymous 109589

I just really hate having it. I hate having these little bursts of anger that make no sense. Then I’ll just cry because I feel like a horrible person. No one really understands cause you’re suppose to be able to control yourself and most of the time you can. Then you just slip up. You have to be so in control all the time. Take your meds everyday, don’t seek at male attention you have a bf (even if you feel so insecure you could rip your own skin off),smile smile, don’t lose your temper and get so angry you cry.

Anonymous 109614

bpd is an excuse to be a cunt lmao



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Why are most narcissistic parents a women Anonymous 108471[Reply]

Is it because women suffer more in life? I have an abusive mother and like most of them she was obsessed with my physical looks and youth which makes sense cause aging is objectively horrible as a woman and our physical looks are really important part of our identity.
She literally hates me and has expectations of me which when I don't fulfill it makes her feel like the victim. Both of us can't do anything without it affecting the other one's emotions. It makes me feel filthy and enslaved, she abused me so much until it paralyzed me mentally as an autistic woman and it caused me to act in ways that made me get in trouble at my house constantly but I couldn't communicate that it's her fault but if I did I would feel bad cause then she would feel like a victim of me. We both are individuals and everyone has their individuality so since she hates me for existing I feel a constant guilt like I have to cater to her individuality but feel bad about mine. It literally can be called a reactionship what we have between us cause she is so emotionally affected by me and I'm by her mostly cause I have no choice. I can't communicate with her and ask her what's her problem cause she is not very intelligent plus she's neurotic and like I said very emotional about my existence. And my empathy for her causes me to feel shame like sorry I was born and don't act the way you want me and it was your duty to serve the child you made what can I fucking do about this conflict like wtf are humans supposed to do
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 108755

Generally, being a mother is much more of an identity than being a father. Men might be fathers but that is usually just one small part of how they identify themselves. They put a lot more emphasis on things like their career, hobbies, or tastes. Not only that but men receive validation not from love, but from admiration and accomplishment. Having a child who deeply loves them doesn't have as much impact. So from the perspective of a narcissist parent, if being a parent is a large part of your identity then you will put much more attention into it, trying to coerce your child into playing into your delusions about yourself. The relationship between the parent and child would also be the best source for validation for a female narcissist over a male one, as the males are generally businessmen who are pursuing their validation that way. So really the answer is just that the narcissist father usually has less to gain from abusing his child so it will happen less frequently or be less severe.

Anonymous 109584

>>108475
moid narcissists are less likely to have children.

Anonymous 109585

>>109583
How exactly do you figure a chart showing men kill themselves 500% more often than women proves women suffer more?

Anonymous 109586

>>109585
I don't think that was anons intention. Slide post

Anonymous 109590

Do you have any siblings? Someone who knows what you're going through might help.

>>109583

Moid sumiside methods are more effective and moids are exponentially worse at dealing with their problems. It should surprise approximately nobody that the ape-brained scrotes who punch holes in walls over video games shoot themselves more than women do. It's not a good way to measure "suffering" at all.



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Am I being weird? Anonymous 109554[Reply]

So my long distant bf came and visited me for a month or so. While he was gone his sisters were always texting and calling, mostly cause he wasn’t responding very much. Then they like got on his WhatsApp and got my phone number which I feel is a breach of my privacy. It’s not the biggest deal and I’m not mad about it. But then they went on his Amazon.. he sometimes buys me things. I don’t ask him to he just does it cause he feels like it’s a way to provide for me. His dad literally had to tell them to mind their business about it. Now one of them has invited him to dinner and he’s pretty sure it’s gonna be about that and other stuff that deals with our relationship. I think his sisters are too involved and I think it’s kind of odd. I don’t have any siblings so maybe I’m being weird. I don’t know but I find it uncomfortable regardless.

Anonymous 109578

i think it’s strange they even had the idea to look through his amazon/amazon purchase history. like, i assume maybe he’s mentioned briefly purchasing items for you before because , that’s really random if not. if they’re older, i can see how they might feel overly protective and maybe worry that he’s being used for his money if he’s repeatedly buying u things and the relationship is all online . howeverrrrr they can feel however they want and it doesn’t matter as long u and him know your relationship dynamic and are happy



abaaeca93ee90286c1…

Cheating Anonymous 2798[Reply]

Share your experiences.

Has your SO flirted with other people, had an emotional affair or have they done something physical? Do you suspect they might be cheating on you?

Tell us
- What are the warning signs?
- How did you find out?
- Have they tried to deny it?
- How did it end?
- Do you hate them?
- How did you get over it?

If you have cheated on someone, feel free to put your input in here.
If you need support, post here as well.
107 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 109537

>>109536
That’s a really hard question. My ex wasn’t a bad bf or anything like that he tried his very best. It just wasn’t enough for me. He had his own problems but he had an actual hard life. I genuinely want to always be there for him but I don’t think we worked well together. My new bf is much more attentive. He loves giving me affection and attention.

Anonymous 109539

>>109537
I Undestand. I would say that with BPD we need a partner who is stable and supportive, so we don't absorb and reflect back trauma and toxic traits because y'know, emotional codependency as a result of deeply seeded abandonment issues. Would you say you and your ex would have worked out if you sought medication sooner? It's interesting to hear other people's experiences.

Anonymous 109548

>>109539
I don’t know..I don’t really think so tbh. Like you said we reflect back negative emotions. He was a very angry person well not angry as in he was a rage monster towards me. He was just angry at the world and was always close to losing his shit. Again not a bad person just had a bad life and a lot of things to deal with because of that. With the meds I probably wouldn’t have cheated on him but I would have been miserable. Plus the biggest thing about my new bf is he is a 26 year old virgin. Which in my BPD brain is a big win.

Anonymous 109550

>>2798
My boyfriend would compliment women he has liked before on the internet or used to simp. I went into his DMs and saw that several months after we became serious, he was still dming some girls. He told one of them that she shouldn't be sad bc she has "face card" and "body card." He has made other comments to other women like that. Also last year when I was looking through his photos on his phone, I accidently found a screen recording he made when he went on vacation with his boys. He was apparently making matches on tinder while he was there. When I confronted him about this, he told me one of his friends was using his account but it's one of those obvious bullshit answers. I doubt he met with these women because of his awkward and paranoia nature. The screen record was his match's profile because she's a conventionally attractive, athletic, and 'super liked' him or whatever (I never used dating apps before but I guess it's one of those features) and out of his league.

I haven't ended it yet because I am stuck living with him but I can't wait to leave. I do resent him over a lot of these things of course. I am not over it. Plenty of red flags I ignored, but I guess I was desperate to find someone to live with so I had an excuse to leave my family and old town.

Anonymous 109559

I cheated on my second boyfriend that I had for a few weeks. I didn't want to continue the relationship but I was 17 and nonconfrontational so I was afraid to break up. I hooked up with a coworker and broke up with my bf the next day. He never found out about it, but I decided not to see the other guy either. A few months after that I left for college and never saw either of them again. I'm much older now and I've never cheated again because it's wrong and it's better to break up anyway. As a result I'm much more assertive about what I want from relationships and knowing when to end them



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antisocial Anonymous 109500[Reply]

Does anyone else here feel like they hate everyone on the planet, like deep black hate, but you're still really polite and kind to people?

It's so weird, it's like, standing back as a whole, I am so disappointed by people. People in my life and people outside of it in general. But I also really strive to be kind to people, even when they don't deserve it. I get extremely upset if I upset anyone. I can't stand my mom but I run to comfort her when she's upset.

I don't have any friends at all. I have too high of standards and I'm offputting/weird so it's impossible. The people who do meet my standards avoid me like I am outputting some kind of repellent frequency. I seem to only attract grotesque autistic men for 'friends' who only want to talk about themselves, and I have to work to flick them away like a piece of tape stuck to me.

I feel like a fake. If I could isolate myself in a hut forever I would do it. I often just want to disappear. I don't want to die- I love reading and animals and existing, but I hate people. I often feel like I don't belong here. That I'm an alien or something. People don't like me, I don't like them, but I keep trying. I'm almost 30 years old and I have been feeling this way my entire life. It only gets more isolating the older I get.

I feel like I'm stuck as a black rock in a sea of white sand. Not special, just "wrong."

I don't want to hurt anyone, I just want to be left alone forever.
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 109514

>>109513
same, except instead of dreaming about it, it is the light that pushes me to work hard and make it a reality.

Anonymous 109516

>>109514
>>109510
I believe this is the only way to live, at least trying to reach a goal, rather than pointlessly lament.

Anonymous 109520

>>109500

Yes, I think that probably comes down to a lot of it when you put it like that. I feel very obligated to take everything I can on because I hate it when things go poorly. For example, I used to always be the one to host people when my friends were getting together, because if I didn't do it people's needs wouldn't be met or they wouldn't have as much fun. When I'm with family, I am the first one to get up and go fuss and help my grandma or help clean up when everyone else just sits around.

I think it's a mix of feeling taken advantage of, because I always feel like I'm giving more, while also no one being on my wavelength. I listen intently to people and I can see their eyes glaze over when I talk.

>>109510

I'm trying- right now I leave the house only to go see my horse or go to the store. I actually interact with people IRL very little- however I HAVE to interact with a lot of people online for work. I have social media accounts I have to manage or I'll starve to death. I know I'm extremely lucky to be able to live the life I do and do it from home, but even that amount of human interaction just lays me out entirely and makes me so cynical sometimes. The only interactions I do have with people at all (online) are extremely forced and fake.

I think I probably live what a lot of people on here would consider a dream life and still sometimes I'm so numb to it all, I just keep waiting to get whisked away to a new dimension or something.

Anonymous 109521

>>109520
OP adding on to this as well but I just realize I made it sound like I'm a sex worker or an influencer or something- I'm not, it's a creative career. I can see how if I was a camgirl or something that would make my mental situation seem more understandable lol

Anonymous 109547

>>109521
>>109520
Have you read Marlen Haushofer's 'The Wall'? It's about a woman living alone with animals. >If I could isolate myself in a hut forever I would do it.
Fun fact: there is currently a (small but) increasing number of people living as religious hermits in Europe. 70% of them are women.



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feel like i'm going mad tbh Anonymous 109341[Reply]

going insane going insane going insane!!!!! i'm doing nothing with my life just rotting in bed scrolling through forums and playing yaoi visual novels i swear i'm going to die alone. i have so much work piling up and i'm halfway through university but no jobs will hire me and i would rather die than go back to my own country but i also miss being in my childhood home. i'm basically balancing on a thread about to snap. i can't go to therapy cause insurance won't cover it. how the FUCK do i get out of this hole i've dug myself into ;;
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 109414

>>109413
real books. not a study into "1950's radical woman's suffrage of czechoslovakia". or a cheesy bestseller about how yoga and eating kale every day will make your life any less unfulfilling

Anonymous 109461

>>109414
non-fiction or fiction?

Anonymous 109515

>>109414
>replace your visual escapism with text-based escapism

Anonymous 109518

change.png

>>109341

how to change:
1. start immediately.
2. do it flamboyantly.
3. no exceptions.

>music for you: youtu.be/yuBsxV7c-ks?si=q6u1QakByPngMJTx

Anonymous 109519

>>109518

I can't stop going into female.dorm.areas.with open internet access, posting here saying I'm a guy, and seeing the whole group be banned.
Sometimes lifting speech backfires.



Stealth_20240117_1…

Is shallow attraction worth anything? Anonymous 109020[Reply]

Is shallow attraction worth anything?

Let's say someone falls in love with me for only my physical traits. Then is their love worthless? Because even if I were a complete psychopath, they would not know and probably not care. The entirety of my being except for my body would be something they had to deal with to fuck me or parade me around to their friends. Is such a kind of love worthless, or is it worth something?
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 109043

Isn't this basically what "friends with benefits" relationship is?

Any sense of love that goes beyond physical intimacy is cut down. There are people that are probably good in bed but would end up being bad partners and you're only interested in sex. It's not fair to say that it's worth nothing, but it's eventually lacking in meaning. It would work for some if they're okay with it, but that's not for me.

Anonymous 109050

The question sounds like it is a bit of a curve ball as it relies a lot on the definition of love.

Some say there is no love, only acts of love, or something like that. I interpret that as action that are undertaken by someone in regard to another.
Conversely, one is free to interpret those actions as acts of love or not.
It looks like it is a two way street.
However truthful someone's manifestation of love is, if it does not correspond to the other party's expectations of what is love to be like, then it doesn't work.

Back to op's question: I guess it very much depends on what holds worth in your book.

In a larger sense, I believe entering a relationship should always be with some degree of preparation: what are the expectations, what are we willing to provide, how is it supposed to work out, etc…

I noticed that I have a much better time forming relationships (not only romantic ones) when I already have these things in mind beforehand.

Anonymous 109309

>>109020
worthless

Anonymous 109320

>>109021
This. You are setting up yourself for failure. You're even wasting your looks on someone who won't stick after they have faded

Anonymous 109497

my bf only likes me cuz im white



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Scrote brother Anonymous 101171[Reply]

my brother is like a 3/10 objectively - balding, ugly, short, blasts andrew tate all day yet he consistently dates (uses) women way above his worth just by being overconfident. i resent him for it bc when youre a confident ugly asshole moid you just seem get away with it.
12 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 108405

>>108403
The scenario in the op is impossible. Moids tell themselves and each other this kind of thing works constantly. But we all know statistically speaking, women avoid tradthot moids and maga. Science has thoroughly documented how much Maga filth are devastatingly single and lonely. The lonely male epidemic is real and it will only get realer the more pathetic males dig into their horse manure philosophies.

Anonymous 109364

ErOsAK_UcAALW1c.pn…

>>101171
It's funny how the tate simps always end up being the grossest moids. He'll say some half-truths that can get people's attention, but the moment any rational person listens to him outside of a 5 second tiktok video, they realize he is a fraud and sex pest. Besides being a pretty good kick boxer a decade ago, what even is his claim to fame? That he helped to pioneer the modern porn industry (something said moids should hate)? That he owns a nice house and car is a third world country? That he scams incels for a living? That he sex traffics white women? What a joke, lol. Like there are some moids who are MGTOW that seem well adjusted, but I have never seen a tate simp who wasn't just a freak.

Anonymous 109373

>>109371
this post is is suppose to be dehumanising but it just shows how little virgins understand female biology and how gay you are

Anonymous 109408

>>109364
Reactionaries always go insane.
Immature people will always fail.

Anonymous 109486

>>104265
I think the reason women do this is actually to raise their self esteem. It's this weird narcissism where they get off on knowing how much hotter they are than their partner (that new yorker story "cat person" kinda goes into this). In the end it's to their detriment though, since they end up with an ugly partner.



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