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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021


Am I autistic? Anonymous 114719[Reply]

I’ve been hanging out with my friends for the past two days, and the entire time they’ve been insulting me. They’ll call me autistic and insane and then turn around and claim they’re autistic and just ‘joking’. It really pisses me off- especially because I’m just being myself. How come they can make jokes amongst themselves and I’m not allowed to? I want to be normal, I want to fit in. How come they’re so mean to me? I feel horrible.

Anonymous 114720

Friend groups (especially female friend groups) have hierarchies and sometimes you're on the bottom, add a multiplier if you're autistic or go against the status quo. It's human nature. Find new friends.

Anonymous 114721

I want to find new friends. My family calls me normal but I honestly think I am the furthest from it. I don’t live in an area where it’s easy to make friends, especially with the hierarchy going on.

Anonymous 114737

why do they call you autistic? unless you fit the diagnostic criteria you aren't.

Anonymous 114740

No idea. I’ve got severe ADHD and I get hyper, if that might be what they’re referring to. It’s annoying. They have no understanding of what autism actually is. They make fun of my brother for being autistic.

Anonymous 114741

What the fuck I would not tolerate anyone saying shit about my siblings.

They don't sounds like great friends, true friends wouldn't look down on you. Can I ask how old you/your friends are?


Loneliness Anonymous 114684[Reply]

I'm 18 years old and this is my first time on Crystal Cafe. I currently have no friends in person and barely any friends online. I feel very lonely and unmotivated to do anything. I live with my dad only and we never spend quality time. He's always on his phone even when I try to spend time with him and we never had a good relationship anyways. My mom lives in another country and she never tries to genuinely try to talk and connect with me

Anonymous 114688

sucks to be you i guess

Anonymous 114689


join the air force

Anonymous 114706

Go to college and get the hell out of there.

Anonymous 114715

leave image boards and never look back

Anonymous 114739

True. Loneliness can suck sometimes, and it can feel like you're missing something important. Friendship is kinda like happiness though; you don't get happy looking for happiness, and you don't get friendship looking for friends. You just kinda go about life and do things that you think are important, and gradually people will be drawn to you. You're a good person and I'm sure there are plenty of great qualities to like about you, but no one's going to be able to see that if you're just seeking friends. I'm not trying to say that's what you're currently doing, you're probably just pointing out that you're lonely and it sucks. It does suck; it sucks away your motivation. You've just gotta make little goals for yourself. Go on walks during the day. Find a job. Read a book. Something other than rotting away here. Best of luck nona


"goody two-shoes" Anonymous 114625[Reply]

>try to do the right thing
>get disliked for it

Anonymous 114649

John 3:19
>And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.

Anonymous 114680

whenever someones too nice it's a red flag because most people are rude

Anonymous 114685


Anonymous 114687

There's something frustrating about someone bending to authority so much. But I think most people who do good things just want to be better people so I won't judge

Anonymous 114711

I guess the questions is about why you're trying to do the right thing. The just and good response isn't always the most emphatic one.

The type of person the article refers to is ultimately good out of selfish reasons, something they've developed as a survival mechanism due to shitty parents. Don't think it's anything to criticize as much as I'd want for them to be allowed to grow into their genuine self, but I do think it's a 'niceness' that a lot of people won't perceive as genuine.

Other people will contrast your good behaviour with their own and won't like the light it paints them in, hence the angry response.


I need advice Anonymous 114667[Reply]

I don’t know where to go or who to talk to about this, since I should feel lucky. I got married and when I was engaged I was happy, but the day after the marriage it seemed like he stopped loving me. We never hang out, we never talk, we never sleep together. Everytime he sees me cry he either laughs or rolls his eyes. When we were dating he was really sweet to me, I don’t know what I did wrong. What can I do?
Pic unrelated
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 114673

he was playing the long game. don't be obvious pretend everything is fine and cheat on him. when he talks about his problems remain disinterested you've been scammed and nows your chance for revenge.

Anonymous 114675

I think it depends if you want to salvage the relationship or not. Perhaps he thinks that he hit the relationship 'goal' of getting married, that his active part is over, and that somehow, because he reached that 'goal' there's no more work to be done. He also could not be thinking entirely. It depends on what you're comfortable with, but you could make a list of concerns and the various behavior changes, and actually sit down to have a long conversation about your future together and expectations in the marriage. Open communication is the best approach is both parties are acting above board. There's likely something underlying this, and you have to decide for yourself if you want to both put in work to have a happy marriage. Good luck nona!

Anonymous 114691

kill him

Anonymous 114701

The only sensible post here.

Anonymous 114702

Good answer to a fake post.


why do people like uncle toms? Anonymous 114692[Reply]

before explaining, i just want to preface that i am mildly drunk, so apologies if this post isn't written or cohesive, but i hope the point gets across.

i'd like to mention that even though the term "uncle tom" is racial and stems from a racial context, the concept spans across race, gender, age, and any other markers of "identity." the other day i was watching a video from some millennial complaining about zoomers and the top comment was some zoomer saying something along the lines of, "i totally agree with you. zoomers SUCK and i am different, here's why." so, i don't imagine that being an uncle tom is particularly isolated towards the idea of race.

i'd also like to mention, that yes, all of us participate in uncle tom like behavior to some degree. maybe we betray our prosocial, collectively presented opinion a little bit in private - that is normal, i think. but i don't think it's a good thing, necessarily.

the weird thing is how defensive people get over uncle toms. the people that support their uncle tom behavior because, i don't even know really. why? they don't stand for anything. their whole schtick is that they just cater to our repressed desires even if they persist malicious social systems. is there an important role for that? maybe, but i don't genuinely like them as people.

i get that people don't always have to be PC and prosocial and im not someone that genuinely hates them or anything. i just don't get why people support uncle tom behavior. its not even particularly healthy to be an uncle tom yourself, because you would only be important to others if you play a role. not because you are a human being that has their own desires and thoughts.

does that make sense? i just don't get it. it's wrong to support uncle tom behavior or be one yourself, from my perspective.

Anonymous 114693

and again
i don't hate these people. i get that not everything in life is about being collectively prosocial. but
i guess i just dont really understand my feelings towards them.

Anonymous 114695

It's an extremely nuanced issue, but for the most part people "like" them because they're easy pawns in ideological arguments.
>"See? Even some black people agree!"
>"There are traditional and submissive women out there"
I would still argue that criticism of "your side" is a good thing and should be practiced readily, I don't believe in absolutism, unquestioning commitment to a cause is very dangerous. But it should be used to improve things on your end, not as leverage for the opposing party.


explain the shift Anonymous 114686[Reply]

So I have this thing. When I moved abroad I don’t remember once missing my family. My roommate is my best friend and yet I can go a week without wanting to hang out. Now I quit weed and have to process the absolute emotional circus that is my period without any crutches. I miss my roommate and I miss my family. The weirdest thing is I stopped missing a guy I’ve been obsessed with for over a year. How do you explain this? The change is very welcome and I’d like to keep it that way, since I tend to get aloof when it comes to the people closest to me (which leads to interpersonal conflict and drama) and weirdly get stuck on people I don’t even know. This random shift happened in just one day


Virgin Thread Anonymous 50440[Reply]

I always feel so alone because it feels as though EVERY woman has had some sort of romantic, or sexual experience. And here I am with nothing, a pathetic adult female KHHV. I feel so alone and as though my time is running out. My goal isn't to lose my virginity, but find someone who loves me.
179 posts and 19 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 102724


Wow, American college really is different. Not only campus life but also staff like college counselor

>Whenever someone is nice to me I get butterflies in my stomach and think about it for days
That's good and you shouldn't be ashamed of this
>then I remember they probably don't think anything of me
I can tell you that is in everyone of us keeping most of us down. Sometimes people tend to overanalyze daily encounters as if they handle math problems and this fucks with our brains. Just take one of these and hunt for more butterflies. You've made the experience start farming and develop your char

Anonymous 102726

While counselors are great, college quality can affect the quality of the counselors. However, more often than not the counselors at colleges are very knowledgeable about the school at an academic, social, and job level. The counselors at my community college all graduated from big shot universities like Ann Arbor or Texas A&M. Hell, most of them come from your average public colleges.

Anonymous 102727

I used to think I got used to being alone, that I didn't and would never feel the craving for touch and affection again but I was wrong.

I spent some time with a moid from my extended family and the frequent interaction and proximity brought all those repressed needs rushing back. I believe I was even starting to fall in love during the last couple of days we spent together. Even now I still spend like 1/4th of the day thinking about him.

Why am I like this, I'm 25 ffs

Anonymous 102748

kinda based

Anonymous 102749

are u two ready for NECROMANCY?!?


Maybe joking Anonymous 114195[Reply]

How to kill an adult man as a female teenager or at the very least defend ya self. Also pimple how to get rid of them
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 114209

They won't believe it

Anonymous 114210

What's happening nona, why do you need to defend yourself? Did he actually?

Anonymous 114249

>implying cops ever believe rape accusations

Anonymous 114305


Anonymous 114422

kill a man? Like in a straight up fight? If you dont have a gun youre not gonna win
though if you can be sneaky maybe from up and behind you just creep up on him and literally stab him in the back
(in case you actually murder somebody: I only answered the question as a hypothetical thought experiment, i never would have supported or helped a person kill another human under any circumstances. This is simply a free discussion taking place, similar to how you wouldnt get imprisoned for discussing on how you could defeat mike tyson)


Anonymous 114221[Reply]

does anyone else just hate themselves so fucking much lol. like to the point where its driving me literally insane.

Anonymous 114320

yes! x

Anonymous 114322



Anonymous 114323


Of course! I fucking suck xx


vent Anonymous 114405[Reply]

Today my abuser won. He used the things I said in anger in one of my mental breakdown against me. All of his friends and family refuse to hear what I have to say and paint me as the toxic one even if I proof worth of 3 years of him sending me death threats, suicide threats, verbal abuse, mentally agonizing stuff, etc. I used to receive gore by him on daily basis if he was mad, he made fun of my childhood abuse saying what my mother did to 5 year old me was deserved, called me a whore/slut on daily basis, sent me self harm if I even tried leaving. There's just so much I can say that happened to me while being with him that pushed me to almost attempting suicide, living in social isolation, months of missing school because of depression. Just one slip up because I was fed up with him made me lose all my credibility. The world is too cruel and I don't have energy to fight every lie he throws in my way because I've already lost all the energy in this relationship. I can't even defend myself when his lies make people point fingers at me because I'm just too tired of it all. I hope karma gets him but in this unfair world, karma rarely affects those who are bad.
5 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 114431


It's a ldr so people would rather take his side than someone they don't even know. He has a history of perfectly curating his personality to others cus even his mother couldn't believe he could ever do what I described (it's when I started scraping proof), he told her lies like I made it up or it's not as serious so I started saving proofs to plead my case. Now he's spreading lies like I'm vengeful crazy gf so people wouldn't even bother reading what I say and automatically block me. His bestfriend even bought I edited these when I literally had to go extra mile to record my screen with my phone as proof of no edits. All he does is he shows others screenshot of my mental breakdown where I was threatening to post these stuff cus I was fed up. It's extremely hard to fight against the doubters since it's too painful, he's not even empathic enough to stop lying for my mental sake and I am too mentally eroded by this to fight my battles alone.

Anonymous 114439

society would be cleansed without sociopathic redditor faggots like you
nona. stop talking to him, stop communication with his friends, block him everywhere. you will feel so much better. it doesn't matter what they think of you bc they're retards and it's a lost cause anyway. loneliness will be better than having to listen to this identity masking psycho and his bullshit. trust me. accept the loss and move on. you'll find better people to hang out with

Anonymous 114457

>Ugly people bad and abusive
>Pretty people good and nice
Where have I heard this before…

Anonymous 114464

Wait, you do realise I'm a different poster, right?

Anonymous 114466

lol. based on your behaviour its accurate. all stacies and chads i know have been good people

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