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Copycat Anonymous 22563[Reply]

Are you a copycat? Have you ever stolen aspects of another girl's personality, interests or fashion sense on purpose to be more like them?

If I told anyone this in real life, they'd probably think I was bizarre, but i want to get it off my chest. To be honest most of my personality now and my likes and dislikes and interests were stolen from a girl who's blog I used to read 3-4 years ago. She wasn't anyone e-famous but I just stumbled across her and somehow I became obsessed. I cyberstalked her all over the internet and I started listening to every band she posted about, watching every movie, posting things with the same sense of humor and going over her selfies for aesthetic details every time she posted them so I could try my best to copy her style. I've never spoken to her openly but I used to send her all sorts of anon messages so I could find out things about her to better emulate them. Eventually I stopped stalking her accounts as much and lost track of her online profiles as she would change names a lot. Recently I checked back to find she was completely different now, and in my opinion much less interesting. I'm still basically a reflection of her from 4 years ago, and I'm fairly comfortable with it all still even though it sounds quite creepy when I type it out. Most people who know me now weren't really around in my life 4 years ago, and they have no idea that almost everything about me is copied from some random girl online i've never even properly spoken to. I still use some of her dead aliases as screen names (don't worry, only as nicknames on places she would never be able to see or be disturbed by if she did find me). Am I alone in this? is anyone else this creepy?
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 22584

I do the same but I take a little from more people at once and only "absorb" what I like and reject what does not interest me. My purpose is not to be /like/ them but to simply use other people as a reference to what is considered cringe, acceptable or cool. Also I know how I sound but it's something that helps me.

Anonymous 22586

>>22584
I understand. I think it's like art in a way, you know how artists take little bits from eachother but (generally, hopefully) only enough that it comes across as 'inspired by' rather than copying or tracing. My art teacher used to tell me that if i wanted good ideas i should just look at someone else's work and figure out what i liked about it. I feel like you can do that with people too.

Anonymous 22590

Yes, but I'm pretty sure everyone does to a certain extent with celebrities and such.

In middle/high school used to model myself off of whoever my crush was dating at the time. Now I have more of my own personal style, but my fashion sense is dictated by what I like to call "soft streetwear" that you see a lot on instagram. I still blatantly plagiarize slang/jokes/memes/political ideologies from YouTubers or internet friends and incorporate it into my daily life but I am convinced everyone does this, I'm just self aware.

Anonymous 22594

>>22563
You mentioned that she is no longer into the media (music, style, interests); as time goes on keep in mind that you are bound to exhaust these interests and overtime you may find yourself inevitably liking some things that the person you model yourself over didn't (as they didn't exist) and slowly this imitator state will be more and more unique until it has little in common and instead you will be (you).

New media (movies, style trends, music) is one of the things I say to myself that makes time worth it, not due to the aesthetic value but simply for exploring new things

Anonymous 22595

>>22594
Yeah, she's very different now, my interests have expanded but they're all based on the sort of scenes she was in originally, (related bands and other things within those media genres, new music and films and books put out by the same people). Without a doubt though my weird cybercreeping on her is kind of the basis of a lot of what I've come to understand as myself.

This is cringe but i messaged her anonymously on her [insert name of anon messaging site everyones using on twitter] when i discovered her again and pointed out that she'd changed a lot and said I hoped she was doing well, she just said she always felt fake doing the stuff I now do/admired her for in the first place.


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Anonymous 22292[Reply]

>supervisor at my college refuses to properly do his job
>dicks me around for months making me travel out to his office only to tell me he isn't ready to speak with me
>breaks all appointments
>gives incorrect information
>lied to other students
>lied about when he was going to grade my work so I'm still not free of him

I'm so angry, how can I funnel this into something more product than sitting around fuming over it?

Anonymous 22333

Documenting all the ways he is failing and reading through the school grievance policy. Also talking to other students that have suffered if possible.

Anonymous 22334

>>22333
I graduate mid year, should I do this now or is it worth waiting untill after he can no longer Ruin My Life

Anonymous 22335

>>22334
Wait if you think that he has the means to really delay your ability to graduate, otherwise figure out if there's an ombudsman or some other department that addresses administrative deficiencies.

Anonymous 22520

You're not relying him for a recommendation-letter or collaboration right? My interactions with men on college (not frat-bro caricatures but actual academics/staff) have been worse than my interactions I've had with men in online games (at-least in terms of actually getting on my nerves). I am not your pet-undergrad, please understand social norms mr.deadwood.


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Self help/introspective books Anonymous 10361[Reply]

Y'all read? Lately I've had a rough time obsessing over everything, hating myself, and not regulating my emotions. What are some written materials that have helped you become a better person, or see yourself/humanity in a different light?

I like the "This is Water" graduation speech by David Foster Wallace haha. And this.
17 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 19743

Marcus Aurelius-Meditations

Anonymous 22350

>>10361
"A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy" by William B. Irvine.
It is a nice introduction to stoicism even a brainlet can understand. It helped me with taking the first steps towards beating depression.

Anonymous 22384

>>19098
Personality sells. A prepackaged image if the self sells. Look at Apple commercials. Do they ever mention specs? Or any info? No. It's a feeling. an image. A lifestyle. In this day and age, that's everything.

Anonymous 22387

Reading good books always helps, I think. It makes you stronger. Self help books are usually utter rubbish. Sorry.

Anonymous 22388

>>19098
Very interesting take, anonette! For me, "capitalism" or "capitalisms" (because they all differ) simpmy cannot be put on paper. Capitalisms are an spontaneous phenomenon arising from our own nature. In all these characteristics, it resembles schyzophrenia:
There is no single presentation or "types" of schyzophrenia: every single case is very different and its developments are hard to predict.
Even if there are a lot of books about schyzo, the most honest approach is to talk about "schyzophrenias" ( I read that in a book, this ideas arent mine)
Capitalism is a complex disease just like schyzophrenia, even if it can sometimes be harmless

The magic of capitalism is that it always mutates when you criticize it, while still revolving around the same axis: capital. People were saying capitalism was cold, mean and robotic, so capitalism swallowed culture and puked it back out, there you have it


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Anonymous 22281[Reply]

>grow up socially awkward and fat
>develop sense of humor to compensate
>rely on it for everything
>use it as an emergency exit every time my personality flaws and insecurity emerge
>eventually it just becomes my personality when I interact with people
>bury myself under layers of irony so I can stay detached from things because it's supposed to be better than the pain of losing those things
>do this for years, can no longer tell the difference between the real me and artificial me
>no longer sure whether what I say or do is genuinely me or if my brain has gotten so efficient at pretending to be someone else that I don't notice anymore
>internalize detachment so much that I become emotionally numb
>every feeling I have left is some flavor of anger or sadness that I don't understand
>become pic related
>"I love you for who you are" thread happens
>try to picture what it would be like to have someone say it to me
>can't even visualize it without getting uncomfortable
>my psyche is acting like the fake person I'm imagining is lying to get me into a vulnerable position to take advantage of me
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 22283

>>22281
Consider analytical psychology. Inner journeys, and so on.


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Anonymous 22226[Reply]

What do i do if i keep getting depressed because i live in a small town in the middle of nowhere and literally everything i look at reminds me how depressing my life is i literally just feel sad

I cant even focus on anything all i want to do is progress my life and i cant. As soon as i sit down to play a game or do something my legs instantly just start squirming and i feel uncomfortable and depressed that Im wasting time and i just have shit in the back of my head saying your life sucks your life sucks your life sucks then i see something or hear something that reminds me how much my life sucks

Like if someone in a show goes on vacation oh i never got to go on vacation. The person goes to the beach. Oh no beach for me. The person in my video game is on a tropical island. Oh no tropical island for me. The movie character lives in a big city oh i dont get to live in a big city i dont get that. I literally just look at peoples lives who are in prison because its the only thing thats as bad as mine

The only people i talk to are girls are online and i just ghost them as soon as their life sounds better to me which spoiler alert is fucking literally everybody. I’m getting an Uber. Oh i dont get to do that I’m in a small town thats too luxurious for me. Oh i live on Long Island or San Bernardino. Oh no major city for me i dont get that thats not for me. Oh I’m smoking weed. Oh no weed for me I’m on probation for being black i dont get that luxury

Literally fucking everybody has a fucking better life. I see people thanking god and shit and I’m just like where the fuck is god for me. How come I’m just sitting here suffering and gods just throwing shit at you people who already have better lives than me. Where the fuck is my blessings. I dont fucking get it. My life is literally worse than anyone else’s its like god just forces me in a corner where I’m forced to kill myself but thats too hard
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 22241

>>22240
I think that's a man

Anonymous 22254

Agree with >>22228, there must be a way to get out of the town eventually.
As for depression, this might be rude, but idk find someone whose life sucks more than yours (there's plenty of people like this online).

Anonymous 22260

lmaoing-at-your-li…

>>22226
If you think sitting around moping all your life waiting for things to magically get better, this ain't it chief.

Moving isn't difficult, leave if you aren't happy. I am from a town of 50 people and leaving is the best decision I ever made.

Anonymous 22263

>I'm on probation for being black
Story?

Anonymous 22533

You sound like a narcissist. Maybe stop being a bitter and fucking do something to change your life.


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online dating Anonymous 21655[Reply]

if someone on the internet you don't know very well but still talk to, kept calling your girlfriend bad names and told her he's going to rape her, what would you do?
14 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 21699

>>21698
you made the right choice

Anonymous 21700

>>21699
thanks i just made him say sorry and everything and now im blocking him on everywhere hopefully we wont talk again

Anonymous 22175

>>21655
so here's a little update: i told my "boyfriend" to block him or else im not talking to him again. he kept saying he's his friend so he doesn't want to do it. so i blocked him. and then he blocked his friend and told me he did it. which made me think "wow he realises that he has shitty friends and how he should protect me" and felt really happy. then a few hours later he said "i want to talk to him you are controlling my life, he is my friend and this is between you and him, not me" then he unblocked him. they kept talking for a few days, then i thought maybe he is right and i should talk to this guy. so i did. and we kind of became friends, i know, weird right… he said he's sorry and everything. i'm still upset about my boyfriend not blocking him and lying to me about not talking to him. this happened last week. now whenever i talk about this issue, he says it's a "dead situation" and i should leave it in the past. he said i fixed the problem and it should be fine now. they are still talking by the way. what should i do?

Anonymous 22177

>>22175
break up with your boyfriend bc its clear why hes going for an online relationship. lots of men go for online relationships because they see it as easier/less for them to be responsible for. his immaturity is clear as day, someones threatening to physically abuse you but its not "his" problem because he wants to be some fence sitting asshat and not maybe.. tell his friend to fucking back off? thing is, if he thinks it okay for that guy to do that to you, his girlfriend, imagine what your boyfriend thinks is okay to do to anyone. also, i dont meant to be rude, but you sound fairly immature as well. i think you both need to experience some real relationships, not online, and learn how to deal with these social situations.

Anonymous 22192

>>22175
It honestly just depends on the standards for your relationship you have

If you feel like you need to be in a relationship where you're protected from mean words, you need to go find another one, you're not gonna change him. If you have thick skin and being called names doesn't bother you then who cares? Sounds like you're type 1

BTW online relationships are a joke


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Anonymous 22097[Reply]

>Going through bars with friends on a weekend
>Get inside
>Drink and take few Es
>The band plays and its fucking fun
>Somebody offers us drinks
>There are a couple of foreigners, but theyre probably Finnish ones
> At this point, be fucked up, those randoms asked me for an encore: at least from there I woke up. There were used needles here and there.
So I got back home and my boyfriend didn't like how I was out. Finally, We made out about which I dont remember much. I went to the doctor for strange symptoms like a week ago.
I thought I was pregnant but I took the tests recently and otherwise be safe, so it couldnt be that. They took some others and today I learned that I have hepatitis C

What the fuck do I do, I cant fucking tell him either or the cats out.
21 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 22168

>>22162
cause she got the benis

Anonymous 22180

>>22162
You can't trust the Fins, they don't feel emotions like the rest of humanity and just look at how they switched sides all the time during WW2, p shady if you ask me, and you sort of did so there.

Anonymous 22184

>>22097

You can get Hepatitis C with inadequate sterilisation.

I heard some cases someone got it by having nails done.

Here is your excuse, anon.

Anonymous 22185

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>>22183
yikes

Anonymous 22189

>>22180
I don’t know why I’m laughing so hard at this


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Anonymous 1979[Reply]

I'm 99% sure my boyfriend is cheating on me.
I tried to talk about it and make him admit it, but he won't. I don't care about the high road anymore, I just want to plan a safe exit and get proof of his cheating. Please help me through this trying time sisters
39 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 21333

>>21330
The last post in this thread was a year ago anon

Anonymous 21336

>>21333
This is the same person bumping a bunch of old threads

Anonymous 21944

HXfTcIb.gif

It hasn't been too long since the last bump anyway (for this site at least) so allow me to post an update:

They started dating a month or so after I left him but broke up recently because she cheated on him (physically). He messaged me to apologize for the way he acted back then. I told him I'm sorry to hear that and wish him well, but on the inside I'm pic related. Good fucking riddance

Anonymous 22172

>>21944
That's right!
How are you holding up, by the way?

Anonymous 22173

>>21944
thats great you really do deserve better serves him right for cheating on you I guess karma kicked him right in the nuts but yeah fuck that guy sis you deserve wayyyy better than trash like that. I hope you're doing well and I hope you find someone that actually cares and respects you <3


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Anonymous 21915[Reply]

i am feeling some of the most conflicting horrible love feelings i've ever felt in my life and i need some advice baaad. please please dont respond just calling me a bad person

I had my two first kisses and got into my first irl relationship yesterday and it all got hecked over from there.
i barely knew the girl, had talked to her like three times before but was vaguely interested in her and our mutual friend told her that, and we were standing around together and then suddenly she said she'd date me then when we were talking to our third friend

a warning that i am not that terrible of a person and it was super clear our relationship was openish, as she kissed somebody there with my permission and showed the other two people her nudes etc etc/she just made it kinda clear it was open.

so we met up with a third friend (male) then went to a fourth persons house - he was good friends with them but i had just met them. then the alcohol came out and we all got wasted as hell, i kissed her, then she ended up kissing another guy - there was a lot of banter that made me feel closer with all of them/made me feel familiar with the other guy. there was a lot of physical contact with me getting picked up and passed around by them, playful ass smacking, etc etc. at the end of the night she left and i ended up just cuddling up to that new guy because i was too tipsy to sit up straight really and we were videocalling my gf,i ended up having my leg up on his lap and my hand on his shoulder etc and he was rubbing my leg (is this just him making things not awkward or is it a sign he liked me?). in the end i had to go home a little bit later, then i asked him to help me up and it led to me being held/picked up by him again, then just suddenly we leaned in and kissed twice then i left. now i just literally can't stop thinking about that, i can't stop thinking about the way he rubbed my leg and held me and can't stop thinking about his lips against mine and its tearing me apart. ive just been replaying that in my head while listening to the music we had playing. i tried to tell myself it was just the alcohol fucking my thought process over and i didnt like him and should like her but i went out with her today and the whole fucking time i was just replaying that in my head. what do i even do
34 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 22015

>>22014
I feel as though maybe, just maybe, we'll end up hanging out with eachother again/I'll see them at school. I guess I'll just have to find out, and if I do I'll update this thread for sure.
You opened my eyes to the fact that any time I feel strong emotions that aren't just entirely negative, I should appreciate it. Those are rare for me.
Unfortunately, you live almost 10k kilometers from me, but it was a shot! And, you are, but we do seem to be quite similar.
I think lowering your guard and getting hurt or risking it is better than hurting yourself by never letting anyone in and never having a chance. I'm kind of really glad I still have the pictures from the night even though they hurt just a bit to look back on.
It really does all round down to circumstance and luck, and I'm sure you have a lot more good things coming your way. I wish you luck on your journey!
I wrote it to the guy I ended up cuddling with, and it pretty much was exactly as I said - Since it happened while I was still panicking I think I may have made it out worse than it was. Do you think I should try messaging him again sometime, maybe just a meme to see what he responds with since when we were together we showed eachother memes?

It's very cold here too, we got snowed in today actuallly.

Anonymous 22016

>>22015
NTA
Persistence can help, but honestly if he reacted that way, then sadly your suspicions were right. It's always good to lower your social barrier. Better yet it's best to not have one at all. The problem is upkeep and only lowering it at certain moments. I honestly find life easier when I don't block myself up, to begin with. nobody needs a bottle for it.

Anonymous 22070

20190227_084230.jp…

>>22015
Hey there Anonette! It's >>22014
>You opened my eyes to the fact that any time I feel strong emotions that aren't just entirely negative, I should appreciate it.
It's awesome you've realized that. I think that, when you're not used to heavy emotions (like I used to be), any emotion kinda makes you panic because it's unknown for you. And hey, even negative emotions can be treasured. I think melancholia is beautiful.
I'll talk about myself here a bit but, maybe you've felt something like this…
I remember watching soap operas or listening to love songs and thinking I couldn't understand how people experience this kind of things, and expecting I'd never feel anything remotely simmilar. Then life started to happen and it was incredibly messy, because I had literally no emotional experience (I think I kinda inherited my mom's coldness) and it was a complete rush of blood to the head. I think that's why silly things that may seem normal for most people wreak chaos in my autistic little world.
>I wrote it to the guy I ended up cuddling with, and it pretty much was exactly as I said - Since it happened while I was still panicking I think I may have made it out worse than it was
How exactly? What did you wrote to him? And what did he say? I'm genuinely curious
>Do you think I should try messaging him again sometime, maybe just a meme to see what he responds with since when we were together we showed eachother memes?
Maybe, or you could also let him message you first, play a little. I had a friend who helped me a lot to overcome my social anxiety. She taught me it's all like a game, but not like a game where you fool people and toy around with them, but like a dance, or a game between two kids meeting in a park. It's a place without rules where you learn or make up the rules as you go, it's a lot about having fun and letting yourself go.
Also, do you have any girl friends that you're talking to about this? It's always easier if you share.

It's a cold summer morning in Argentina, pic related

Anonymous 22164

I haven't talked to him again yet and I still feel a spike of sadness pretty often and when I see the pictures of us together, and I just got consumed with anxiety and sadness when I saw him in person talking to someone else but I've had a few good times with friends where nothing like this happened since then and I'm overall ok.

I tried to continue my relationship with the girl who liked me but she cheated on me immediately so that's over I guess, but we still hang out all the time of course.

I met another very cute guy recently, and unlike him he was respectful of me and my space/body and we're going to hang out again soon. The fact that the last guy had 'ghosted' me after meeting me made me feel undesirable and ugly and worthless even though I know that's overdramatic, but that experience made me feel like that's not true.I don't mean to get weird or brag but the guy was very very very very cute and usually I go for under average people, so I assumed there was no way he'd be interested but apparently I was wrong.

This might get updated again eventually if we cross paths again but until then, I guess things are ok.
Here's to no more sleepless nights over this.

Anonymous 22165

>>22070
I hope you've had a good weekend so far!
I am quite not used to heavy emotions, I'm a bit of a toned down and jaded person so sometimes things get overwhelming. I think you've pinned down what happens.
Aaawwww, that's adorable actually, I have a cold mother as well. Another aspect was that since I heavily heavily heavily wasn't used to physical affection this freaked me out I guess.

The exact details were, on the night of, I said to him "I think you're genuinely cool and I'm glad we met. Nice meeting you." and he responded with "u to", then after that a day or two later I can't remember what else was said EXACTLY but it was something along the lines of "I hear —- got in shit because the people he lived with had no idea where he was lmao. We should hang out again sometime" and he responded with a "yea", then I said something boring after that I think and got left on open. Haven't talked since. I've actually hung out with his cousin a few times since which is a HMM, he's friends with my other friends.

No, not exactly. Most of my friends aren't close to me enough to hear this or they're male unfortunately. I told one male, the one who was there on the night of it happening, andjust telling him made me feel a bit better even if he didn't have much input.

That's a beautiful picture!


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Why should anyone just unconditionally love themselves? Anonymous 19908[Reply]

I just don't get it. What reason is there not to loathe yourself if you genuinely have loathsome aspects about yourself? Everyone says that it's wrong to hate yourself, but why? Sure, it's unfortunate, but is it really WRONG?
9 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 22017

People who perform at the peak of their fields need to believe they're the best. Loving yourself doesn't mean you have to be an asshat.

Anonymous 22066

Instead of loathing the awful parts of you, why not work to improve those aspects until you can wholly love yourself?

Anonymous 22094

>>22066
Some parts of me are not only awful but also unchangeable

Anonymous 22124

>>22094

In what way?

There are some physical problems I have that bring down my life and also hurt those around me. Radical acceptance and actively working to not cause problems is helping me a little. I'm also slow and selfish so it's taking a while, but baby steps.

Maybe there's something like that you could do?

Anonymous 22157

Hating yourself is unproductive.

Most people to have some self-respect to be able to improve yourself. While I don't "love myself", I also treat my body with respect. That means feeding it well, exercising it, making it look pretty, but also offering forgiveness to myself if my efforts go haywire.
I tried the whole self-hate thing and it honestly just results in binging and crying on the kitchen floor, resulting in more self hate. It's much easier to just change your mindset and let the good results come around when they come.


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