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Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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help me solve something Anonymous 124569[Reply]

i broke up with my gf after going through a mental health thing
we are back together but she told me she deleted messages for storage
they take up like 30gbs (crazy but they actually do)
i checked her deleted messages and it was like 800 to her one fellow gay friend
but they are fat
she lied when i asked her about it
she read my journal and later dismissed the idea that they were ever together or cheating or whatever
she also told me she was shit talking me and that's why she deleted it (believable trust)
how do i approach this? i blew my lead when she read my journal
>also did she read it to see if i believed her?
she was upset because i was mean in it, and i didn't apologize
later she was apologetic
how do i ask her about the messages? should i?

Anonymous 124570

>>124569
i feel like im losing my mind, she gave me her phone password but that was after he deleted the messages

Anonymous 124594

>>124569
Well I wouldn't want to start off with them defensive, so maybe cede an apology over your mean entries, then mention start your inquiry


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edating Anonymous 124333[Reply]

what do you think about edating?

i am asking because i met a man online a few months ago and i have conflicting feelings about being in this kind of relationship. i've never dated before, i would if i could but people in my life seem repulsed by me. i like the companionship but also hate myself for engaging in this kind of thing. sometimes i see a couple outside and become nauseated with self-disgust.

he is a couple thousand miles away on the opposite side of the country. i asked if he wanted to meet but he said we haven't known eachother long enough.. maybe i should just be happy to be less alone and not take things so seriously.

have you ever edated before? do you have any advice? thanks nonas
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 124348

>>124333
Are you both in positions where you can visit each other multiple times a year? If it works out is one of you willing to uproot your life to move to be with them?
You're both in the same country so that skips out any visa issues at least.

Anonymous 124349

I'm dead serious: try a match making service before you resort to edating. If you decide to go through with edating, you need to meet up ASAP, be able and willing to meet up frequently after that and bridge the gap within 2 years MAX.

Anonymous 124372

>>124333
If you dislike dating then don't do that. E-dating is far harder than IRL dating and works best if you and the other person have an open relationship or have avoidant attachment styles. Avoidants tend to do extremely well with long distance. Also, you should work out why you have a problem with dating, never get in a relationship if you have these conflicting feelings. Be ethical and consider the other person, that is the main part of having a relationship. If you are too in your head, you will not be a present partner and the relationship will die. Also, a lot of people will say well if you lay everything out and the other person agrees to a relationship anyway that it is fine but in many cases persons don't grasp the implications.

Anonymous 124562

>>124372
Do not do open relationship OP. It's only for degens

Anonymous 124567

>>124333

thanks for all of the replies nonas. we are planning to meet in a few months.

we are both pretty antisocial so i think there is a chance this could be a good arrangement.. also i trust him fully and we have both been alone for a long time so i don't think cheating is a concern

i guess now i just worry how about meeting in person will go


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Anonymous 124469[Reply]

Every moid I've dated that didn't watch porn was very asexual to some degree. The last guy I talked to was demisexual and hearing him say he cared little about my appearance made me feel undesired and unattractive. He made me feel seen, safe and understood everything about me. It often felt like he read my mind, but I couldn't get over that feeling that he wasn't attracted to me physically. I want to feel desired, pretty and hot. Is that wrong of me?
8 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 124548

>>124527
yeah if I lived among muslim tier rapists I would probably prefer an asexual moid too

Anonymous 124551

>>124487
I don't think he truly was attracted to me, at least not physically. He would only call me hot when I did something or said something that wasn't sexual or arousing at all. He just really liked me for what I thought, did and said; Never for how I looked. Your ex sounds awful too. Was he into weird things? My ex grew up isolated and never had a gf before, so there might be a correlation.
>>124523
>>124525
He was perfect in every way, and he wasn't asexual or low libido. He would get turned on from me doing or saying the most mundane things. I never even had to dress up for him. His arousal for me felt completely out of love and not lust, it felt weird because I never dated a demisexual before. He would plan out romantic trips, seduced me and made sure I never felt insecure, but he didn't lust for me. When I broke up with him he understood it too, he told me it happens all the time.

Anonymous 124552

>>124551
Sounds like hell. You deserved better.

Anonymous 124559

No, it is not wrong of you but it is a tad unrealistic of a goal to find both spontaneous attraction of high strength and attraction to you as a person together in a long term or life partner. Typically that is a recipe for inability to back off.
Send the demisexual men over to me.

Anonymous 124595

>>124559
>Send the demisexual men over to me.
What's your contact? I'll tell him to reach out.


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Anonymous 123234[Reply]

What is the difference between love and mental illness? Because my friends tell me I'm unironically nearing the latter; to keep it short I seemingly can't forget about my high school ex bf for some reason even though I'm nearing 30, we talk on and off very sporadically over text but I'm the one that always starts the conversation and I my friends tell me I'm coming off as almost begging for him to come back with me but he always tells me no, in fact I know very little of him after we turned 20. Yes I have dated other men, yes I know it's pathetic, no he's not manipulative, but every time I keep making this alternate reality in my head about going back in time and having this idealistic life with him; I had this cringe moment with my mom some years ago because he came up in the conversation and I told her I would come back with him if he wanted and she just gave me this look of me being silly lol
40 posts and 15 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 124492

>>124388
You are demented.

Anonymous 124493

>>124492
Nona I honestly think that is a shitpost

Anonymous 124501

>>124490
I do not understand what you mean by warrior programming Nona. Please elaborate.

Anonymous 124502

>>124501
>warrior programming

it's a reference to the way modern cultures have evolved. when you go to school, when you participate in monetary exchange, when you work and for the most part when you engage in any kind of social interaction; basically when you do almost anything normal in modern life: everything is set up for you to become a certain way as much as currently possible while the things that are not a certain way yet are currently being scrutinized in an effort to make them become a certain way as well. the culture is carefully set up like that.

most people are so entangled in these basic setups, that they don't really think about it too much and in a way i even have empathy for that. when you are trapped in an awful job that consumes your life you are likely to conclude that you are too busy to question basics. but people who don't question basics all kind of turn out the same, an eery unsettling similarities in key areas of their personality. they all seem to have similar problems that might manifest in ways that seem different, complex and unrelated but i don't agree they are.

when you live consciously for long enough, you see how the things that are, turn into the things that have been with such reliable predictability. few things will surprise you if any. at some point you get it, you will see something and you can tell how it turn out; maybe not every time but most of the time.

warrior programming is the attempt to summarize this experience of what i might almost call a cultural inevitability. a more dramatic way to summarize it would be
>curse of being normal.

toxic normality might also describe it well but it sounds too contemporary for my taste, i try to make it sound more timeless when i communicate.

Anonymous 124531

>>124486
>w. Changing just feels impossible. I'm at that point in my life where I know that even if I magically changed tomorrow and became this amazing, beautiful person that I want to be. Finding a good moid, falling in love, having a child and being happy feels impossible.

Stop centering your life around moids. You should seek healing for YOU only, not for some hypothetical moid who may or may not exist.
If you really want to atone, the best thing you can do is let him be. Do you think obsessing over him like this is letting him be happy and free? No, you're still clinging onto him and he will never be free until you realize that you can live without him
Your entire posts is just "Harley, Harley, Harley" enough!
Go make female friends, volunteer at a shelter or something, spend time with children and animals, continue with the meditation like the other recommended and stop being a slave. You are your own jailer, literally picrel
If he could move on then so can you JFC, you were a bitch, sure but it's not like you raped or beat him. Stop making yourself into this martyr figure, you're only mythologizing your own self pity instead of taking action. You said you never told this to anyone, couldn't even admit any of this to a therapist, well this is the first step towards moving on.


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my crush is getting married Anonymous 124505[Reply]

he was the only decent male ive ever met, i know he liked me back when we were teens but i avoided him because i was nervous.

now he's been dating for like five years and ive been waiting for him to break up with her for any reason so i can approach him, but he uploaded a picture of his gf of gfs day and she had THE ring on THE finger.

he hasn't post anything about being engaged but like, it was pretty much an engagement ring.

and i cried a little tbh

ill stay single for the rest of my life idc all other moids are lazy, perverts, dumb, ugly or all the above.

Anonymous 124506

Many such cases…

Anonymous 124507

Lucky

Anonymous 124509

Jock_and_Agnes_Smi…

>>124505
> all other moids are [ . . . ]

he's 1 in 4 billion ? not statistically likely. either you're wrong about him (doom scenario) or (more likely [hopeful scenario]) there are more men like him out there

Anonymous 124511

>>124509
yeah like statistically there must be more men like him but as long as i been alive he's the only him ive met, so how long until there's another him in the path?

Anonymous 124566

>perverts
just because he's pretty doesn't mean he isn't a sex pest nona


hello corporate/office girlies, lets chat :3 Anonymous 124503[Reply]

just chatting and yapping
hii nonas in office jobs,do u girls also love it but hate it.
like, this is so soothing and grown but so boring at the same time.
making this thread rn while at it cuz i am bored!

Anonymous 124504

After working for some years in stocking and customer service i can say it's definitely not that bad

but my back hurts


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I cannot stop eating sugar and sweets Anonymous 124125[Reply]

it is a PROBLEM. I love chocolate and anything with sugar, but its becoming concerning at this post, if i dont eat a sugary sweet at least once a day i will become moody and sad.
Im not overweight or anything, i have a pretty lean body but i need to stop eating sugar all the time, how to stop with the sweet treats,,, nonas help,,,
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 124270

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It is due to blood sugar.

• blood sugar goes up
• insulin goes up
• sugar goes down
• sugar goes below normal
• you feel bad and need more sugar

It might be related to mental illness too, as your brain gets more energy during a sugar high it alleviates it, so soon sugar becomes your crutch. You don't necessarily have to eat sugar to cause this either, starchy foods can have the same effect.

The solution is to manage what you eat so your blood sugar is above normal but not too high. In short, eat beans. Beans have a low glycemic index meaning they release sugars into the blood gradually. There are other foods with low glycemic index but none are more convenient and abundant than beans. Beans can be friends.

This also alleviates sugar cravings, because you don't go into panic mode, though it takes a measure of willpower to wean yourself off sugar.

Anonymous 124283

try to eat vegetables instead, like something crunchy. Carrots or green stick things, apples in slices or pears even. Eat fruits BEFORE 4pm and drink a lot of water nona.

Anonymous 124382

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>>124125
>I cannot stop

that's you being a low agency person. for decades the elites have tried to influence the human breeding as to produce dependent order-followers incapable of managing their own life. you are the result of their efforts, the vessel of corruption.

Anonymous 124385

>>124382
That's not quite correct. Admitting to your faults and seeking a solution for them instead of justifying them is actually the high agency behavior. We all wish OP luck with her predicament <3

Anonymous 124393

>>124385
>seeking a solution

yeah right THAT'S what is happening here yaah. seeking a solution yaah. i can tell you are a very solution-oriented person just being your solution-oriented self in this solution-oriented place yaaaah.


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how do i get over mi highschool crush? Anonymous 124307[Reply]

you all can make fun of me and be mean because i think i deserve it tbh.

met this guy when i was 15 TEN years ago. we were in the same class and we sat next to each other. we were really different in the sense that he was pretty cool and chill, he had a lot of friends and stuff and i was more of a reserved otaku.. but he was super kind to me (and anyone really) so i developed a crush on him.

at one point after we graduate he was really persistent on hanging out, go to places i posted i wanted to go and stuff like that but i always said no because i was scared of what he would think about me physically wise (we didn't saw each other for like a year for college reasons) so we grew kind of distant until we stopped talking after he got into whats now his long term relationship.

and i can't stop being kind of obsessed with him. i compare every guy to him because he's kind, good looking, hard working, likes animals, loves his mom and sister, apparently is against the consumption of porn and all that, really a great guy.

when i tried to get over this literal obsession with him he sent me a dm through instagram out of nowhere, APOLOGIZING because he suddenly remembered that i had been a really good friend to him during school and that he was sorry if he ever was too annoying to me during that period (he never was, he was the sweetest. texted me late when i had depressive episodes, hugged me when my cat died, tried to include me in everything, asked about my interest, listened to me and tried to introduce me to his while using mine as a comparative so it wouldn't be boring to me, etc.) and i relapsed. i know he wasn't trying anything with that message because i answered that i never thought about him as the most annoying out of our friend group and that i was thankful too and we didn't talk anymore after that.

i don't know what to do to get over the fact that im stuck in that crush from ten years ago, that i see everything he post and get bitter when is related to his girlfriend. i need to get over this and meeting new males isn't helping because i keep comparing and settling this guy as the standard.

what do i do? and sorry if there's any typos, this is not my first language.

Anonymous 124323

i've lived through something similar.
here is how i would do it now after dealing with it stupidly.

the answer to this is consciousness. you have to be conscious of the behavior that is disabling you.

notice when you think of him. just notice at first. "ah there it is again" because since this is an habit, it will happen without you wanting it to.

then when you think of him, you have to remember that when you think of him that you go down the rabbit hole and think of how awesome he is and that might make you sad or make other men look like losers to you that you don't even give a chance. you have to know in advance that this will happen again when you think of him so be conscious of it, wait for it to happen and interrupt it until it is gone so you can have your life back.

>oh no not today

when you remember all that next time you notice the habit is beginning again, you have the choice not to go down that road. that choice is your way out of the habit.

Anonymous 124392

>>124323
came checking if there was any answer to this. thanks nona ill try that !!


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How do you deal with hopelesness for the female species Anonymous 122690[Reply]

Everyday it's more clear to me that women will never be free, it makes me feel suicidal even. We are nothing but pets and will NEVER stop being pets, even if that were to happen I'll be dead by that time. What the fuck do you do from here that isn't giving up?
18 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 123569

Abort babies if they are male. That's the first step.

Anonymous 124373

>>122690
Women have been free in the past and are free in some places. Women can be free again. Join separatists and work on being separate. It may not work on a global scale but it will for the women who care enough like you.

Anonymous 124374

>>123569
a fellow SCUM sister I see

Anonymous 124378

>>124373
Join a female only commune. There is only two that I know of, all of them full lesbian but you can create your own if you have enough good willed Nonas with you.

Anonymous 124381

makeup die like th…

>What the fuck do you do from here that isn't giving up?

there is stuff you can do. one of the most important things that i don't see any of you do is to promote a life in reality. a real life based on reality, not a life based on following narrative.


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I am pregnant Anonymous 122619[Reply]

I found out a week ago that I am pregnant.
I am married, have been for 2 months to my husband who I have been with for 3.5 years now.
I am scared.
Right now I am the sole breadwinner of the house and I don't even make that much money. Enough for bills but hardly enough for anything else and slowly have been draining my savings.
He doesn't work. He had a good paying job but left it to pursue school 6 months ago. And what he is in school for I honestly don't think he has a future in.
Other than the financial struggles, neither of us are ready to be parents.
I think I could handle being a Mom, but I do not want to be a Mom. I am not ready for a lifetime commitment yet. I wanted to enjoy being newleyweds longer.
He is not ready to be a Dad. Emotionally immature.
The reality is slowly dawning on me on how hard this will be for us and I am really distraught. We are broke and I am married to a man who literally cannot handle fatherhood. I am terrified.
At first I thought I would be excited for a baby but I am more scared, mostly because of ny husband being unprepared. I know he couldnt support us but I know one of us will have to stay home with baby all day.
I just dont know what to do.
23 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 123777

>>123566
You can get in the mail sex tests for your baby btw, you don't need to wait until the second trimester anymore

Anonymous 124019

>>122619
Nona it's been a month what happened?

Anonymous 124061

>>122619
if u do choose to have the baby, can you possibly move in with his parents or your parents? this way, ur expenses with be less and it wouldn't be too much on you.

at the end of the day, what's done is done so don't beat urself up too much for who you chose to marry. working and going to school at the same time is hard, but it is an option and ur husband will have to look into it. there also other expenses you guys will have to prepare for during pregnancy and after the baby arrives.

good luck <3

Anonymous 124180

i know who this is and i know we don’t get along but i wish you and your baby well

Anonymous 124380

>>122619
Get the kid anyway and don't feel ashamed to milk as many tax cuts and subventions as you can.
And push your deadbeat moid to do something.


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