/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>116297
>supplements
ISHYGalsDDT

Is it possible to stop thinking about society's opinion of lesbians? There is a tendency in science to constantly say that lesbians can feel attracted to men. Gender obsession in the LGBT community is a new form of internal homophobia. Society has never taken lesbians seriously. The Normies will say that you just haven't met a good guy. Political lesbians will disguise friendship for lesbianism by spreading lesbophobic myths. When men carry out gene modifications, men will destroy lesbians. Were lesbians happy ever? First there was the influence of forced heterosexuality, now "you should be attracted to mtf" and gaslighting from scientists and "feminists".Gays can be proud, no one bothers them. Scientists say that MEN ARE REAL GAYS, THEY CAN'T CHANGE. How to stop feeling disgusted with yourself?

Do you have any dating tips/etiquette, online or not? I am autistic and have no frame of reference when it comes to romantic relationships with other women, and people online don't talk about dating all that much, so I am a complete noob.

I want to date a woman already. It’s been years (since COVID) and I have been daydreaming about love and who the next “she” would be;; her personality, appearance, et cetera.

But I’m not cute enough for the bi (and maybe les? But tbh I think those are spicy straights) on dating apps. And if I seem attractive IRL, then that probably disappears once it’s made obvious that I’m so damn socially awkward.

And also I’m just unaware of if I’m interacting with another bi/les woman.

I’m so lonely. I really want to share my life but I’m stuck with yearning. It seems as if I’m no woman’s type!

>>119562

Also OP of this post, I struggle with internalized racism and homophobia, as well. I’ve heard that people can sense things like confidence and insecurity so I wonder if I’m sending a vibe that’s just overbearingly negative and I don’t even know it.

This is something I have also been working on.
When people say no or give you a neutral answer, does all the stuff that you get anxious about happen? Do you cause a scene? No.
Most sane people will not take a no or you saying your opinion or giving input as something to make a scene over, or dislike you for it. Keep in mind, the people who like people pleasing like low self esteem women for the wrong reasons and like doormats. Those are not the kind of people that should be pleased! Being assertive and honest is not obnoxious or rude. You can still be kind and pleasant and sweet and polite while having boundaries and stating your opinions and giving input and being honest!

I have good assertiveness days, and bad assertiveness days. If I feel worn down by constant moid harassment, or if I wake up and randomly start thinking of the nagging memories of said harassment, I dont feel the energy necessary to be assertive and on guard. I feel like I need to just go with the flow to get people to STFU and get out of my way, so to speak.

For example, yesterday my brother brushed off the snow off the family vehicle he finally let me use even tho he has his own 2. I thought wow thats nice of him. Then he hit me with, "Theres still the trashbag of dog crap in the trunk, could you get it out?" He could have done it, but I know Id catch flack from him and mom for saying this or refusing, so I just said yeah. It felt like Im on autopilot to just say yes to peoples requests. Ugh Im such a coward.

Another factor is that peoples boundary violations catch me off guard. Im a little slow at thinking of responses, or how to socially navigate a situation where I dont have the upper hand. So even if I immediately give in, I usually seethe about it for a while after until I think of a way to "correct" the boundary violation, ie. thinking of how to word something so that I retract my original "yes Ill do xyz" response.

Wish I wasnt such a people pleaser. But there are times I finally learned to say no, as a complete sentence, no less. Its just something I have to relearn daily and be conscious of.

>>118904
>I constantly do things and look up for others wellbeing, opinions, feelings or anything for avoiding conflict and just trying to get along and feeling accepted.

Only do it if it's mutual

>>118904
The issue with being kind and caring about the wellbeing, opinions and feelings of others is that is that likely, you WILL be abused, he WILL get taken advantage of for it, at some point or another.

Be glad you're not a narcissist. You should go out and live for yourself and do things that you enjoy and hopefully you will run into the right people for you.

Don't go out of your way for others who will just abuse you in the end. Try to find people who are similar to you and vibe with you.

I often think about why I am such a people pleaser and I realize that there is something insidious about it. One of the reasons why I do this because I want to get closer and be part of their life. I managed to people please the heck out of few people that they became so dependent on me for emotional support that even I got scared about how creepy it got. It felt like I was playing Persona with S Links and I'm not even joking in here.

Another reason is fear of missing out. I want to know everything and be everywhere.

Stop romanticizing some old man. Think about your situation from an outsider's perspective. Imagine being his wife.

>>119416
I managed to get a bit closer than before.
>Imagine being his wife.
Yes, I feel bliss imagining that.

He quit. I may see him for a few more days for his exit procedure to complete and after that it's over. Something in me is still in denial and can't believe that he will be gone soon.

you're only 26, you can just wait it out and see what happens

there's better men that aren't geriatric don't waste your youth

I'm in an age gap relationship. I'm in my early to mid twenties, he's in his late thirties.

It's worth a try, you might find genuine love. I like his friends too and we have lovely times together. We've been together for nine months and this is the first time I've ever felt loved. Some s here might think this is a big meme but there can be huge comfort found with older men, and not in a daddy issues sort of way. I'm someone this sort of relationship is right for - age gaps are not for everyone.

Thing is, as an aside irrelevant to your post, I'm also a big autist so I'm always worrying about unnecessary things or not making decisions about things which do matter. Lately I feel like I'm often on the brink of breaking up with him because of things of which age is a contributing factor - his stubbornness, his plans to donate his sperm. He's also a Tate fan. Honestly I don't care what people believe but he harps on about him and I get this close to telling him to shut the fuck up. I haven't broken up with him yet because I can't tell if I make myself feel upset because I feel I should or if I actually feel upset. But this is an individual thing; my friend is with an older man and he's more liberal leaning.

So yeah there are ups and downs. You need to make him lay everything on the table. Make it very clear that the younger partner gets the short end of the stick. Make sure this relationship is loving and worthwhile, because as a young woman you do have plenty of options. Think about if you want to help him into his adult Pampers and ensure he's stocked up on Viagra.

>>119490
Washing the professor's beakers isn't "experience in the lab"

youre the retard

I feel like this is fake

you are shallow. so what are you going to do about it?

>>119323
That it only looks fem if their ass is big kek.

>>119332
but like… in society, attraction to men is expressed from a feminine perspective and position. dressing up as women and connecting with that feminity is a way for them to connect with that attraction to men

I like feminine accents on men like small earrings, floral prints, and understated necklaces and rings.

No shame in not wanting men to invade our clothing sections or other areas that are supposed to be for us, in addition to our changing rooms and bathrooms, where they can and do SA women and girls.

Listen to your gut feeling. Theres nothing wrong with feeling disgust or creepiness about a male. Dont be gaslit or shamed about feeling bad that you feel disturbed about a potential predator trying to blend into your demographic. Men do this so they can access our vulnerable spaces, and/or get away with rudeness towards you, claiming "youre a hateful bigot!" if you defend yourself from his verbal/other attacks. The subtle or obvious tyranny of the consequences for refusing to use his fetish derived language in the workplace, or everywhere depending on the place, is only 1 part of mens attack on women.

Not really Icked out, but they always look ridiculous.

>>109569
Men never have the intention to get in a relationship they just end up in them if gives them more sex than the contrary.

>How is your life right now
Meh. I have no close friends and the situation with my boyfriend isn't great, even fun things remind me of how alone I am because everyone my age is in a friend group. I don't like being around people much but I really miss having a trustworthy friend. The one I have is always gossiping about everyone so I don't tell her anything personal. I have to find a new job and I'm really holding out hope I might meet someone. I've been looking into working as a farmhand, I'd likely need a tractor license though. But I would like to move away from everyone, I lived in the same town my whole life and the only people I ever see around are old bullies. For some reason the familiarity makes me feel even more isolated.
>Do you go outside?
Yes. I love taking long walks in the forest, when it's dark I'll walk in the street. Also my job forces me to get out of bed but luckily I don't have to talk to people much.
>Any friends or company?
I have one friend I don't really trust, I like her but I don't trust her. My boyfriend makes me feel lonely and used so I've been ignoring him, I want to break up but I don't want to be alone. And that whole "dump him and you'll flourish" is fucking bullshit, I had to cut off my best friend because she was stealing shit from me and faking diseases and haven't made a friend since. I can't afford to lose anyone at this point.
>What do you do to cope with it
Daydreaming, imageboards, smoke weed, cook, watch cartoons and listen to music. Also plan hypothetical trips. I love learning about other countries and the history of them, especially former soviet countries.
>Share a highlight from your life
I've picked up writing again, even if it might be wattpad tier I love my characters. I haven't shared any of it yet but I might, the storylines might be nonsensical but they're my characters. I love coming up with dialogue, weird situations, visualizing everything, I love it.

>How is your life right now
Not good to be honest. Everyone is graduating but me. Decided to be a lazy fuck and got back into college at 21, I feel like my professional life is over.
>Do you go outside?
Ever since I moved to this city I haven't stepped outside for anything other than college.
>Any friends or company?
None at all! BF left.
>What do you do to cope with it
Listen to Boa and cut.
>Share a highlight from your life
Hahaha

>>114093
>no one cares about how you look or if you're weird, they're too busy thinking about themselves!
As a woman that grew up with parents who loved to gossip about others, that is not true at all

>>114096
This is an old post, but how are you doing, nona?

>>119260
Maybe you're just a really boring person

Omg are you literally me? You should add me on discord pls. I'm avsn33d

Weird, I've been feeling the same way recently. It makes it hard to care about anything going on in life.

im actually here rn cus i feel this way. from everything ive been watching/reading on this topic the solution is to detach from being the initiator and to naturally attract the people who are right for you by treating yourself so well that your confidence becomes attractive etc. like by not caring whether people want to be around you because youre so full of yourself they will start wanting to be around you, which i guess if you think about it is what other people are doing when youre interacting with them and theyre just focused on themselves.

you are hanging around the wrong people

Going through the loss of 2 pets, and am about to have my grief wounds reopened in my own living space. Repeatedly, and at random.

A moid relative got his dog a pet toy that looks just like my pets tails, to the point that even his boymom noticed the pet toy looks just like my beloved pets tails.

Imagine walking anywhere outside your room, and randomly seeing what you think is your deceased pets tail, only to realize a second later that no, its just a pet toy and your beloved babies are dead. Every. Day. Yes, both relatives know it upsets me.

I couldnt take the mental torment, so I hid the pet toy when moving things, months ago.

Now they found the pet toy again, and Im already nearly crying at the thought of seeing it again. It looks so much like my beloveds tails.

I cant move out for a long time due to finances, with no other place to stay.

Is there anything I can do about this?

>>119475
Overcome oversensitiveness by watching gore.

>>119348
Wow that was really almost a month ago. We’ve patched things up since and things are going well again. I can’t lose this boy. I can’t. He’s perfect and all that I ever wanted.

Theres this annoying middle aged cart guy who works at this one store that has everything I and my relatives need for the week (some are health related items). I went out of my way to like 3 different stores for like a month to avoid him, but now hes even more clingy.

This time, I realized he could watch me browse a section, as he was talking with another employee within view of where he was. Then he stood in the middle of one isle, he made small talk as I was trying to shop. So I grey rocked him with "yeah, mhhmm" type of responses with a smile to get him to STFU. I rushed out of the isle as I couldnt think straight the rest of the time I was there, dreading seeing him pop up again, esp outside where the carts are.

Then he appeared again in the next isle, and he did this big grin. I felt so exhausted from moid harassment (also get this at home, long story) I didnt smile back at him. He usually only does the cart section, not the in store isles, so it was odd seeing him there. Then he stood there watching with a different moid coworker, both talking, as I rung up my items, and he laughed and said something to the coworker (I couldnt make out what it was) as I walked out the door. It felt like he was talking about me to that coworker, but Idk.

Another time I put an empty box in the cart, as Ive seen others do, as a present for my dying cat. The cart guy saw this, called attention to it and took it (he didnt know the reason why, I didnt get a word in).

He hasnt done anything really bad, its just a gut feeling. One time when he smiled at me I could see almost the backs of his eyes, it was terrifying. He helps put away groceries into my truck without being asked. I didnt want him invading my personal space, so I moved to the other end of the cart. He comes out with comments like "for some reason, my work hours changed", almost like he thinks I complained about him or something?

I have agoraphobia so I go out with an older female relative, and she thinks hes annoying too, but then she says hes "just being friendly" and "I hope he doesnt think we dont like him". She thinks the cart guy is good to have around us, because if another moid was ever violent toward us, the cart guy might see and step in to defend us (hah yeah right). She also said the cart guy is probably jaded from "these modern feminist bitches" rejecting his niceness, so if I try to establish boundaries with the cart guy, my own mom wont have my back.Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>119505
Get friendly with him, then tell him that you're an mtf transgender