[ Rules / FAQ ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / x ]

/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
Name
Email
Email will be public
Subject
Message

*Text* => Text

**Text** => Text

***Text*** => Text

[spoiler]Text[/spoiler] => Text

Image
Direct Link
Options NSFW image
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
| Catalog
Check the Catalog before making a new thread.
Do not respond to maleposters. See Rule 7.
Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

1633556293385.gif

Unpopular Opinions Anonymous 129936[Reply]

Share any unpopular opinions you hold here.
17 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 130119

>>130057
What even is this definition? Fruits and veggies are not strict distinctions, so I consider anything that's fruity and worthy on a salad plate as fruit. Else relegated to the veggie-sphere.

Anonymous 130121

1000_F_268948389_J…

>>130056
>>130024
Man therapy highly depends on what exactly ails you, and differs wildly from person to person, what their environment is, how do they think through stuff etc. Most therapists treat it like a doctor would - read from a book on how to treat it, follow the instructions, ignore the patient's direct response etc. In practice it's more like bending a piece of wood, you gotta know how flexible it is in the first place. A therapist has no idea what you've been through. That outsider perspective should be complemented with proper guidance but most therapists don't do that.

Anonymous 130122

>>130121
Yeah except most doctors aren't in a field with a replication crisis and dubious scientific efficacy.

Anonymous 130155

Asians womens (and mens) looks are overrated

Anonymous 130520

>>130116
Some people will argue that it's up to individual "choices" and "morality" shouldn't matter.
I am sorry but if you live a degrading life, no shit people are going to degrade you.
Are there chances of marriages and dating ending up bad? yes? does that mean you should give up and have sex with whoever you find hot for awhile without any long term plan whatsover? maybe not.


download (21).jpg

Anonymous 130433[Reply]

I broke up with my boyfriend today. It feels like the right decision, he works too much so he isn't available a lot, but i feel upset that all my plans are gone. i wanted to move in with him and get married. get a cat and live comfortably with the love of my life, it all feels quite bittersweet. and now i have to spend a considerable amount of time scrubbing him from my life. deleting all the photos of him, taking off my necklaces with his initial, removing our playlist we made together and all the lovey dovey nicknames i gave to him on various apps, it's a lot of work. and the worst part is it is exam season which is why i was hesitant with breaking up with him, i know it will distract me majorly from it all.

Anonymous 130435

>>130433
its okay nona, it feels bittersweet because it freshly happened. try to focus on your education for now, it will be important for your future.


Polish_20260515_00…

Anonymous 130353[Reply]

What was the hardest part of growing up for you?

Anonymous 130354

1778741697130358.p…

For me I was just constantly confused, unhappy, and lonely. My youth was a rather unfortunate time of my life, I am much happier now.

Anonymous 130359

ded.jpg

always feeling different to other children, people constantly misunderstanding me, my emotional needs rarely being met and feeling so out of place and alienated.

Anonymous 130363

images(9).jpg

Feeling misunderstood by my family, never outgrowing my middle school awkwardness, not being very good at picking myself up again after big disappointments and rejection, having difficulty imagining a good future for myself that wasn't an impossible fantasy where I was as beautiful as I wanted to be and as loved as I wished I'd been


IMG_0344.jpeg

my bfs porn addiction makes me want to cheat Anonymous 129689[Reply]

my boyfriend’s porn addiction is making me lose my mind. I first found out about it in early August but I keep finding out things he’s lying about. At first he framed it as just watching a random video then closing. Then, I found out he used to pay for OF while we were together. after this, I found out that he was doing this shit the entire time before I found out and he had a twitter account for OF egirls + bought an anime porn game. He first blamed his problem on our relationship issues before I found out he was doing it the whole time.
He said that what I sent him wasn’t “enough to look at” compared to porn despite him literally being overweight with a receding hairline (quickly apologized but still).

After I found out about the OF stuff, I started cheating on him online. I was a very popular cosplayer and used to make lots of money off of my looks, so it feels weird and makes me feel resentful because I feel like he doesn’t admire my looks like this. Flirting with girls/guys online feels like an escape from feeling like I’m ugly + feels like a gotcha. It makes me want to show off my body and for a while I even thought of doing gravure work when I move back to Japan. I feel horrible for doing this. I used to hate male attention, but I feel relief when a cute moid hits on me. it’s like a “atleast someone appreciates my looks”.

He’s been a great partner and has been treating me amazingly since but I still feel this way sometimes and I feel like a horrible person. What should I do? Am I a bad person?
9 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 129914

strawman^strawman type thread

Anonymous 129971

>>129689
men will never give up porn. no matter which moid u get they will always want porn so if youre not ok with it you will never have a moid.

Anonymous 130011

Go to therapy?
Porn addiction is an addiction, you can't stop it by wishful thinking and just saying "no stop that".
Think of it like training a dog, if a dog shits on your carpet or steal food from the kitchen you can yell all you want or even be abusive to the dog… but that's not how you make the dog stop, it needs conditioning and training.
Just talk with him, make him admit he has a problem and look for practical ways to end this addiction, maybe through therapy, taking part in some programs, joining some groups and whatever, he'll be extremely embarrassed but accountability can help dealing with this shit by using this embarrassment as a way to stop doing it.

The real question is if you actually love him or not, because dealing with an addict of any kind is an ordeal.

Anonymous 130140

>>130011
porn addiction is not considered a real addiction medically speaking. it's not in any real diagnostic manual because what porn consumption is considered "healthy" is extremely subjective. A behavioral approach is sometimes taken if its really, really severe and the person in question sees it as a problem/is bringing them distress. OP can have whatever boundary they wish to set but a therapist isn't going to treat them for paying for a few OF accounts and having a porn twitter like its a serious problem unless they're a wacko fake christian therapist. sorry. if their boyfriend doesn't see it as a problem, which he almost certainly doesn't, it just won't be treated as one. i know people on here are extremely antiporn, but moral opinions aside, at the end of the day it's just not the same as being a crackhead lbr and won't be treated as such.

regardless i think OP should leave because they're bf is fucking bald and ugly. hello???

Anonymous 130360

He doesn't deserve you. Leave him before you cheat on him or he cheats on you.
Or worse, he asks you to do something he saw in porn


1744169139566381s.…

femcel vent Anonymous 129429[Reply]

i hate my life. being below average as a girl is torture. im technically fakecel bc i actually found a man who i like who is an older dilf and he lets me live with him so i get to have sleep in his bed and have sex sometimes so that's nice but has anyone else noticed how when youre below average as a girl people aren't as kind or respectful of you? its like stacys who know how to do makeup and have good genetics have a halo effect and everyone is gentle towards them and stuff but the man i live with he's kinda rough during sex and doesnt seem to care about my feelings much sometimes and then i have 1 friend (my only friend) who is considerably cuter than me and everyone always treats her like her feelings matter and will allow her to cut corners and stuff just to avoid hurting her feelings
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 129555

>>129481
true as fuck
>>129429
Yeah ive noticed this too, People are blatantly rude to you when youre an ugly woman. Especially men. They are literally violent as fuck like gorillas. I hate them and im scared of them. Also nona, the guy youre with sounds like a total pos please have a back up plan in case you have to leave him

Anonymous 129556

>>129555
shit sorry I meant to reply to >>129538

Anonymous 129560

I feel like if you are below average and manage to bag a guy, it's still not worth it. He would treat you as a fleshlight at best, not romance to speak of.
Guys would court beautiful women only because they know their worth and are not easy, so that's where eleborate dates, flowers, sweet talks etc come from. As for beautiful women who don't get princess treatment… Girl, love yourself, you deserve better.
Anyway, going back to us uglies. We wouldn't get any courtship or respect because for guys, it's just not worth the effort and reserved only to pretty women, and even then guys will try to be cheap.
Do you want a relationship with a lazy slob who will get you on a single coffee date once and then just crush at your place for drunk sex while never showing you affection? Yes or no? Because that's all you'll get.
I know it because I was desperate enough to try having a relationship and it was the best I was able to get.
If it's okay to you and you have no self-respect, be my guest, go on and date.
But if you are an ugly women without a profound mental illness, please don't try dating, you will be treated worse than your partenered peers, you will compare yourself to other girls who get flowers and gifts, and you will hate yourself even more.

Anonymous 129610

tumblr_oo537bfxNz1…


Anonymous 130348

>>129429
what the hell is this and the nonchalant replies


a15fa788e70e11cfb3…

Am I a bad person? Anonymous 130237[Reply]

So I've had this "childhood friend" we met when we were 10 in school I'm exactly one month older than him we were born on the same day just different month, we grew up together then we drifted apart after COVID but I noticed that he has this weird obsession for me, from mutual friends we have they've told me and showed me videos and messages of him talking about how much he loves me and that he truly wants to be with me forever. I've known this since we were 14 no2 we are both 21. He has never dated and hasn't lost his virginity even though i have dated in the past and also already lost my virginity ( i haven't told him that im not a virgin but he is smart so he must KNOW right?) . So recently I've been talking to him and going on dates and I really like being with him but honestly he isn't my type I don't find him hot and honestly would never be able to be intimate with him, I could kiss him but I don't think I would feel anything, but I really like how he sees me and treats me. He truly love me, and shows it, he writes me letters, fixes things in my apartment, buys me dinner, etc. I know im leading him on but I'm sure he knows I don't love him back but i don't know if he cares. Am I bad person for using him?
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 130245

no, because using people is not bad.

Anonymous 130253

https://spiritualherbals.com/post.php?title=when-nothing-in-your-life-is-moving-forward-the-spiritual-blockage-many-people-ignore

Anonymous 130254

Found this about wrong turns and I wanted to share

https://spiritualherbals.com/post.php?title=when-nothing-in-your-life-is-moving-forward-the-spiritual-blockage-many-people-ignore

Anonymous 130255

Love spells
Read about it and found out it was the best option
It worked
https://spiritualherbals.com/post.php?title=why-a-personal-spell-is-different-from-ordinary-rituals

Anonymous 130316

eRbdjDy.jpg

No you're not bad, but be open about your true feelings towards him. Be honest since he is definitely putting so much of himself into this and has been good, he deserves the truth even though it will hurt. Leading him on is only pushing this conversation down the road and going to make it more difficult to separate. If hes still cool with doing all this for you despite your feelings, then thats on him. It will suck because its nice getting treated well, but he seems like a guy with a great heart and deserves to be with someone who is crazy about him. As well as you deservd to be with someone who will make yoh happy.


D1H-7n4VYAEH5QA.jp…

Anonymous 130142[Reply]

What is being in a good relationship supposed to be like?

For me it always goes like this:

>They like it when I talk about them or try to share things that might be related to them or pique their interest
>Conversations don't flow naturally. It's just like a job interview where you have to try and care about their life, or talk about whatever they want to share, otherwise nothing happens
>They don't care about my life at all
>They only like it when I'm available for them
>They only like it when I am there for them
>They only like it when I am making an effort for them
>They don't want to know anything about me
>The don't care about how I feel
>They don't even want to hang out with me
>They talk about other women more than me, they just use me as a tool for complaining about their other women
>The compliments and "I love you" feel really insincere, forced and empty, like there's nothing there, just empty words probably copied and pasted
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 130143

>>130142
If you don't share interests, there's just nothing to talk about. A guy can pretend to care about your day sure but how long could that conversation last really? I don't know why people don't bring this up more often but if you don't share interests it's likely just not going to work out long term because you'll only be interacting for sex or you'll be forcing some half-assed interest like you mentioned. The big issue is there isn't really a lot of overlap between what most guys are into vs what most women are into and this is only exacerbated by internet algorithms. I really don't know why women go around assuming as long as there's an initial spark it'll all eventually work out in the end. Relationships take a lot of work from both parties and sometimes you're just not made for each other.

Anonymous 130152

People in general and especially men are increasingly immature. The vast majority of people try their best in romantic relationships and often fail themselves despite their best intentions. Good relationships come with serendipity, it takes patience, persistence, and an openness to be surprised.

Anonymous 130268

>>130142
this checks out all the boxes for a man that wants a gf just to take, never to give. so many men dont even like women or are interested in them in any other way than that they want someone to be nice to them, ask them about stuff and all of that. if they dont even want to know who you are and whats going on with you, they dont really love you, they just want a relationship with pretty much just someone to feel less lonely.


Anonymous 130259[Reply]

holy cow the Ai spoke my thoghts !!

1777017775821531.w…

Anonymous 130028[Reply]

How do you get over body dysmorphia?

>Not feeling pretty enough
>Always feeling too thin or too fat
>Feeling invisible around men
>Trying not to say that looks are everything
>Comparing myself
18 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 130216

shutterstock_16621…

>>130213
>Validation from men?

Kinda, yeah. And I don't like how it resolved the issue /for me/ either. It's not what I recommend to everyone else - it's how it naturally happened for me.

Actually seeing how no-one gave a shit about the things I mentioned, especially the man I chose to be intimate with, just changed my view on how my body looks. It's like at that moment I understood that as long as I workout, eat healthily (most of the time) and try to look after myself then the rest is ok.

Plus I've explored my spirituality a lot more which has shifted my mindset, not to sound negative at all, but to me this body is a temporary vehicle to explore the world before I return home, a vehicle that was gifted to me so I should treat it with care - I don't identify so heavily with it's 'flaws' anymore.

Anonymous 130217

Psilocybin (magic mushrooms)
LSD (lysergic acid diethylamide)
DMT (N,N-Dimethyltryptamine) and Ayahuasca
Ketamine (dissociative anesthetic)
Salvinorin A (found in Salvia divinorum)
Ibogaine and Mescaline

Anonymous 130243

>>130213
Have you never had a man validate you?

Anonymous 130249

Why should your value be tied to your looks or approval from others?

Anonymous 130250

>>130249
It doesn't have to be but some people will treat you like shit for refusing to play the game. You can make the personal decision to just not care what others think but it can be an alienating stance for people who aren't strong enough to deal with what comes after.


1cdf8702b3da6cd991…

Anonymous 130202[Reply]

I am addicted to listening to whiney male videos on background. Stuff like blackpill and talking about how OVER and hopeless it is. It's like misery porn.

Anyone else?
6 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 130209

I keep thinking about how actions speak louder than words. If I am willing to sacrifice more and more every time I learn, it would mean that I probably do believe. That's how I'll tell.

Anonymous 130210

>>130208
There are old paintings and other works of art depicting Jesus surrounded by the sun. It's said the sun is emblematic of his love. Always giving everything with nothing requested in return; in other words pure unconditional love. In that sense every non sentient object around us is love and when we die we will return to that pure state of love. There are schools of thought who say we can access this state of pure love even while still living through awakening to our true selves. I find these world views fascinating and they seem to connect lots of old world spirituality together

Anonymous 130211

>>130210
>love
Well, that could tie back to this thread's topic too. I don't think seeing another one's suffering is necessarily sadistic. I think it could nurture empathy and love, too.

That's a pretty interesting paragraph you got here. I like it.

Anonymous 130212

>>130211
It is said to awaken to your true self is to realize you are not your thoughts or emotions. You exist independently from them in a state of pure awareness. You are the space between thoughts. You are the silent observer. This connection to consciousness is present in all of us and connects us as one.

Anonymous 130246

1778315851232396.p…

Actually, to be honest, I remember now that I do actually want to leave some kind words for the guys who say they never get any support or anything. It is what I would want for myself, and I was in that position where I needed to be seen. That's why sometimes I want to reach out, and say "I was there, I saw you".

One time I did just that. I supported some random guy online just by a few encouraging words. (just because he was eccentric and I enjoy people like this) He basically spent the next few days obsessing over that one "empathic" event. I actually spoke to him later a lot and he told me nobody hardly ever initiated conversations like me. Which is surprising because he seemed so much more socially active????

There was also another guy I talked to like twice a year and he seemed to be thankful for that. I think talking about our worries helped us steer away from the boiling point.

Ultimately though this kind of support makes your relationship feel way too intimate. Which is just inviting temptation and it is no good. I'd rather stick to CC and support other women on /feels/ I guess.

It's sad, I wish I could spread this feeling of familiarity, recognition… something like it. I think social interaction is pointless without it.


[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
| Catalog
[ Rules / FAQ ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / x ]