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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 09/13/2020

handholding.gif

Dating General Anonymous 29416[Reply]

I didn't know if there was one or if you ladies care. So I made one anyway.

Dating General is for asking questions and or advice, sharing experiences, telling stories and so on
483 posts and 59 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 47732

>>47717
THANK YOU
this helps a lot tbh

anyw i'm mostly nervous because i'm inexperienced and i'm afraid i'll screw up and stuff
but i'll try being chill abt it

as for the date
we're prob going to hang at a cafe or something similar, we've yet to decide kek

Anonymous 47733

>>47732
Always happy to help, Anon. The ways that someone can "screw up" a date fall into accidentally sending the wrong signals, failing to pick up the other person's signals properly, or causing a social break of some kind, but there's lots of leeway if you both genuinely like each other. Think of it as a co-op game where you're working together to try and have a good time, and remember that he's probably nervous about it as well because even if you're experienced the nerves don't go away entirely.

>hang at a cafe

Good first date. Try not to sit directly opposite him if you can because that makes building physical rapport harder. Find a nook or corner of the cafe if one's available; it's hard to build intimacy and comfort if you're in an open spot with lots of eyes on you. If caffeine makes you a blabbermouth like it does me then be aware of it and try to make sure he gets turns to talk. Some girls get snooty about going Dutch but I think it's better to try and pay for yourself and if he wants to pay for you then he'll stop you and insist. If he lets you then don't think anything of it, the modern world's difficult enough without dissecting that stuff.

If the vibe's good and he's got the date planned then he might suggest to move along to a different place and activity after a while. If he doesn't then that doesn't mean anything in particular, but you might want to think of some things to do together with him after the cafe part in case you want to suggest something.

I'll stop vomiting information now; I'm just happy to hear Anon has a date.

Anonymous 47811

IMG_20200321_23241…

>>47733
AAAAAAAAAAA
THANK YOU AGAIN!!!
this really helps, especially because i didn't even know where to start!
also i'll update when we'll meet each other if the thread still holds up!!

Anonymous 49148

1608235484277.jpg

>>47811
>>47733
>>47732
>>47717
>>47705

so, little update on this situation.
We've seen eachother for the first time and i went better than I expected, he was really chill and easygoing.
I might have done some cringy stuff but nothing too bad bc he knows that i freak out when i'm stressed and he reassured me it was ok.

i hope i can see him again soon!

Anonymous 49164

>>49148
glad to hear anon!



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how do you get over being obsessed with a guy you are not in love with? Anonymous 48290[Reply]

i get butterflies whe he is nice to me and want to cuddle and suck his dick but i dont like him and his charachter,would never see us together
(maybe its because he gave me attention and now im attatched?)


cant sleep cause thinking of himm,or think of much else other than him wtf
16 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 48856

>>48290
is said moid a YouTuber? It's ok to have internet crushes. Happens to everyone.

You should keep hitting on him even if as a playful friendly thing and not seriously because it's entertaining and it will lift your and his mood at least. If I find somebody pretty online I cat call him with all the confidence in the world, throwing compliments at people is a good thing even if they don't lead to a relationship so keep doing what you are doing.

Anonymous 48962

I don't have to worry about it, I'm not a catch so they just leave me even when I want them to stay.

Also people saying that's love are dumb. You can be infatuated with others without thinking it's gonna be long term or anything serious.

Anonymous 48979

I don't know, but keep me updated because inquiring parties need to know. A very cute guy who's e-famous showed me attention and now I'm falling apart. I want to simp so badly.

Anonymous 49052

mfwwhengivingrelsh…

>This thread

Anonymous 49134

__paimon_lumine_an…

>>49052
I want to believe it is just quarantine hitting these anons hard, and they normally wouldn't think like this.



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Anonymous 49055[Reply]

I feel so frustrated. I've been losing weight for a few months and my start weight was quite heavy, im at a middle ground right now and I was proud of my progress. A guy i kinda know called me fat yesterday, it feels like all of this isn't worth it. I feel so foolish for convincing myself i look better with this weight loss but im still seen as fat. Nothing i do will ever be enough.

Anonymous 49056

>>49055
OP, this guy saw that you had lost weight and are doing well so he made a remark intended to hurt you. Anyone who has recently lost weight will be hurt by being told they are fat, even if they are now clearly underweight. He knew what he was doing, don't listen to him.

Anonymous 49084

You will never be enough for any moid, and no woman can be so scrotes' remarks are worth nothing. Don't try to compete with the idealized anime gf that their pornsick brains have created.
Also congrats on losing weight, I hope you did it in a healthy way though. It's hard but it's really worth it in the end.

Anonymous 49122

>>49055
go make yourself a sammich
t. Architect Pro™

Anonymous 49125

1453518867815.gif

if you've really made progress, then disregard some retard's insults and continue persevering. i'm proud of you, and i believe in you!

Anonymous 49132

>>49055
He's probably right, but the fact that you care what he thinks shows that you've gotta work on the self esteem



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Hikki/NEET Diaries Anonymous 23206[Reply]

I wanted to make a thread to blogpost about being a Hikikiomori or a NEET, mainly to be able to talk about how you're progressing and to help with accountability.

I've tried journalling for a long time but I always fall off because it feels pointless to write long pages to myself that no one will ever read.

Post ITT: How your day has been, woes of being a neet/hikki, things you've achieved lately, your fears, and goals.
276 posts and 149 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 48824

1492226182679.jpg

>>28217
Making a followup to this post.

I've been employed for a few years now. I'm getting into a routine that I'm comfortable with so I've started reaching out, applying for clubs and been accepted, and I'm considering church. I'm thinking of starting my own club too if I can find the right places to reach out.

My brother has never been a NEET but he has improved himself a lot and become an excellent person compared to a few years ago. He has given me encouragement and advice that make me feel like I can do this. I want to have a life where I'm surrounded by lots of people who matter. I don't know if it's possible, but there is no harm in the attempt.

Anonymous 48970

I've been a NEET for 12 years on and off (I worked some seasonal jobs of a few months each and had one 3 year employment where I always teetered on the line and didn't get a permanent contract until 2 years in because I kept missing too many days) but I just got a part-time work from home job. It doesn't pay a lot, but combined with my passive income from online sales (Society6 and other dropshipping) it'll be enough for me to live comfortably for the first time in a long time. I signed the documents today.

I'm still gonna feel like a NEET because I'll work evenings in my bed, sleep all day, and continue to not do shit with my life.

Anonymous 49009

pL2VN5t.jpg

fart whenever i want, sleep whenever i want, video games or tv whenever i want, never have to shave, wear sweatpants or yoga pants everyday, hang out with cat and dog… i wouldnt trade anything for the neet life.

Anonymous 49083

>>23206
Trying to carry on with daily exercise and eating slightly better. Sleep schedule is awful due to drinking too much alcohol. Today I took a break and have nausea withdrawals.
Got into an argument with an e friend and cut things off. Really didn't need that either and feel bad about it but they were being really crazy. Kind of my last friend tho who gave a shit and could talk to about things that are going on.

Don't want to jinx it but I started to really care about someone and I hope nothing happens to fuck that up too. With my luck and borderlineness I probably will anyway. It SUCKS that I need to talk to people but that it always ends up with intensely negative feelings that traumatize me.

Anonymous 49090

Any other losers feeling they should just kill themselves on the new year because fuck another year of whatever the hell this kind of life is?


>>49083
We are better off NOT having awful friends but I hope you can find someone to have that magical friendship with again


>>49075

Thank you for sharing even if you are paranoid and honestly you are not even crazy for being paranoid there are so many weirdos out there online and these communities for people like us are really small!
I am paranoid also I am not schizoid but get psychotic breaks and insane paranoia over online stuffs because it is real risk



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Anonymous 49012[Reply]

>Hate this shithole website
>Loathe it with every fiber of my being.
>See absolutely no redeeming qualities for it

Why are people still using this site? In 2020?
If Google had just simply allowed YouTube to keep their upvote/downvote comment section system, I can bank on it that this shithole site wouldn’t even have lasted and it would have simply died and gone underway.
But no. YouTube had to develop retarded policies. And now the only place we have left on the internet with an upvote downvote system is Cuckdit, the land of the circle-jerking white knights and Karma pointed narcissistic cunts.
People shouldn’t have to rely on Reddit for a true objective opinion. It’s no where near as good as how 2005 YouTube comments section used to be.
There is no way to get an objective opinion on Reddit without too many variables affecting the replies. The sheer narcissism of mods and their bots to do the work they’re too lazy to do. You have to jump through hoops just to post a simple fucking thread.
>Post a thread
>Gets deleted
>yOu dIdNt AdD A fLaIr
>Tries again
>Gets deleted
>yOu NeEd tO rEpLy tO tHiS bOt
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
7 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 49029

>>49024
>I went on to Reddit and found out I was banned from the subreddit I had posted on lol
At least you got to post on it. A bunch ban you before you can even post if you comment on a rival subreddit (even if your comment was against that sub).

Anonymous 49030

>>49029
Oh trust me, I know that. That has already happened to me too.

Anonymous 49031

>>49030
Have you considered just not using the site instead of raging about how much you hate it? Clearly that isn't the case if you're using it.

Anonymous 49032

>>49031
NTA but Reddit has basically killed off a lot of niche forums. If you want to talk about certain topics it's basically Reddit or not at all.

Anonymous Moderator 49048

Reddit thread: >>>/b/10778



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Pretty Girls Make Me Sad Anonymous 44142[Reply]

I feel depressed and inadequate when I see pretty girls.

Being on the internet is especially hard with the constant surplus and bombardment of beautiful women selling themselves or selling a product.
19 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 48645

>>44191
Dunno bout the others but that Kardashian before photo is confirmed photoshopped

Anonymous 48646

maxresdefault.jpg

>>44172
Before images always make me a little happy

Anonymous 48647

1f9b533fb8c9fa58db…

>>48645
kim was really cute before she went ham on the ps

Anonymous 48665

>>44232
based

Anonymous 48944

I hated living on campus because I'd constantly be surrounded by beautiful girls and it would make me hate myself LOL I love being crazy



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Xmas gifts help thread Anonymous 48373[Reply]

I know this is the most basic bitch question this time of the year, but I wish I could find my bf something nice n thoughtful for Christmas. Anyone in a similar situation with partners or family members, feel free to ask for gift suggestions and advice ITT! I would love to try and help, and maybe there are anons around with that magical gift sense who can solve all our problems.

Like many guys, my bf is tricky to find the perfect gift for because 1) he just gets everything that improves his life right away, and 2) his hobbies don't require equipment he doesn't already have. I don't want to ask directly, at least yet, because it would be more fun to come up with a surprise and I guess the point of gifts is to give something the recipient didn't even think of that enriches their life in new ways.

As a person my partner is pragmatic and invests a lot in stuff that improves his health, productivity, sleep etc., but also appreciates cozy and warm cottage-y or woodsy vibes and gets kinda romantic. He doesn't really care for fancy food items or clothes though. Some things I thought of that don't quite feel right yet:

- We both work a lot, so while planning some kind of weekend getaway or hike would be amazing and we do sometimes find the time to have fun, it's hard to gift experiences when our schedules are really unpredictable, and we might only have fully free weekends on very short notice in the next few months. Maybe something special and cute but flexible would still be possible? We're in the UK if anyone has ideas haha.

- He has repetitive strain injury in his forearm, and I wish I could help because he often feels bad about not being productive enough, but he got all sorts of braces and stuff, ergonomic workstation improvements, etc. already. I thought about a bunch of gift cards for back massages because he's also generally tense, but that feels so intimate with some rando lmao, maybe I'm just overthinking this though and it would be really nice.

- Anything that improves sleep quality and reduces stress would be super sweet. I worry about his workload-induced tiredness and he always thinks of ways to help me relax, so I would love to reciprocate, but again he already got himself all the standard stuff (like sleep masks, blackout curtains, foam rollers and so on).
5 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 48414

>>48377
>>48404
I prefer if someone tells me directly they don't like the gift. There's a nice way to do it without hurting feelings and still be graceful (such as not doing it right after opening in front of everyone). I'd much prefer that then realising that every gift I had given them was sitting unused.

Saying that, if it's just something small, or from someone you don't know well, I prefer that they just accept it gracefully then do what they want with it. It's not like I am going to know. I've had people passively aggressively gift me something bad on purpose back or make unnecessary comments later.

Regarding exchanging gifts, I agree about not expecting anything in return. However, if you have been exchanging gifts for a few years, it's pretty rude to suddenly intentionally stop without informing the other person. If you don't like my gifts, tell me or make an excuse why we shouldn't exchange anymore. If you can't afford to, tell me so I don't take it personally. I don't want to waste my mental load continuing to pick gifts for you until I get the hint a couple of years later and then thinking over everything I have given you.

I kind of hate gift giving and only do it with my bf now. He's easy to buy for and always accepts things gracefully.

Anonymous 48424

>>48377
Sounds like a lot of people in your life abuse the "F" words.
"Friendship" and "family."

Anonymous 48936

I know this is a stupid question, but what's better to give myself on this New Year's, a band tee or some good fucking food/drink?
inb4 both: I only get the money to buy either

Anonymous 48938

>>48936
A band tee will keep you happy every time you wear it. The food only makes you happy once. If it's really amazing, it'll be a good memory though. I'd go for the band tee. I have one from over a decade ago and it still makes me happy when I wear it.

Anonymous 48939

>>48938
>food only makes you happy once
A good point to consider.
I don't think it'd make a memory because I won't share it with any friends or family. All my food-related memories include other people.

>have one from over a decade ago and it still makes me happy when I wear it

Do you still listen to that band anon? Because I worry that I won't like this one band that I like now sometime in the future, as it happened with my previously bought band tee, related music genre but not quite my taste anymore. I don't wear it because of that. The band is kinda cool tho and I don't want to sell it.
Though this one has specific tracks/albums that helped me get through some hard points in life so I guess it'd last longer.



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Anonymous 45453[Reply]

I was fucking put on latuda years ago and ever since it fucked up my emotions completely and caused my head constant brainfog up until now eventhough i quit it as soon as i went on it, the effects of it lasted up until now STILL. i am now forced to be on abilify which i recently had to go on a lower dose of (10mg) because it made me unable to feel anything or get excited or happy about anything,and i am forced to stay on it or else i will apparently go crazy once i get off it and i will get brain damage. this is my life, im going to be stuck emotionless uncaring monster forever.

Anonymous 48627

winnie hug.jpg

OP I want to give you a hug :( I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. Medications are tough, be sure to talk to a trusted psychiatrist and be able to work things out

Anonymous 48729

>>45453
try vraylar bruh

Anonymous 48788

I'm on latuda 10mg right now to help wean off of celexa, which I've been on for like 7 years (up to 40 mg) and isn't even doing anything BUT if I don't have a secondary med to quit it with I go crazy. Latuda is working so far, like I noticed my incessant rage fade when I started it but I'm scared of the same exact thing happening as with celexa…
Why is this stuff so scary? I wish I didn't need medication at all.

Anonymous 48934

Op, I'm sorry you're going through that and I hope you can find a med that works for you.

>>48788
I'm on a low dose of latuda and it's helping my sadness/anger a lot. I thought maybe it curbing my anger was a placebo so it's nice hearing it does that for someone else, too.



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Any hermits here? Anonymous 48620[Reply]

How do you cope with how vile people are? I have a YouTube channel I watch and the guy is genuinely nice and likeable and so are his friends. He gives me hope sometimes.
But for the most part, when I talk to a human being, all hope for living a normal life goes out the window. I do not like other people and they make me want to die. Most of you guys are ok. Men are the absolute worst but women can be bad too.

Do you try to make friends or date people? Do you talk to your family?
10 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 48748

>>48747
**PARASOCIAL not paranormal

God I hate autocorrect

Anonymous 48751

I have a job and live by myself. But I have literally no friends or family. Sometimes I have a bf but then he's the only person i talk to. every time i try to make a friend something awful happens and i cut them out for being toxic.

maybe all people are toxic and some are just better at keeping the mask on than others. my family were toxic so i cut them out and have never been happier, so now it's my go-to. had a "friend" who was always rather cunty with me, and one day they crossed the line and said something purposely malicious and harmful. i gave them a back off warning and they repeated it with more emphasis so i blocked their number and haven't spoken since. i don't know why people do it. i really, really do not have to put up with that kind of shit from anyone.

kinda wish i had someone to talk to, evne just day to day shit. but you can't even talk about real things with people because they just get fed up. everyone is obsessed with "good vibes" as if any human is really happy and cheerful 24/7. it makes me feel like a stuffed animal or a vending machine. put a quarter in, i dance and sing like a monkey for someone's entertainment… if that's what having a friend is then i dont want it.

Anonymous 48884

Is it stupid of me to try to make friends on dating apps like bumble or plenty of fish? I'm so lonely during this pandemic. I'd love to get to know someone as a friend.

Anonymous 48891

I've just given up on living and fitting in with the outside world. Whenever I have to interact with it I just dissociate from it all, it doesn't feel real that way. Feels like I'm watching some other consciousness going through the motions.

Anonymous 48895

>>48884
me too anon. this year has just been plain awful and i would love to have online friends again as it is so hard to reach my irl friends who have time for me



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Violent hatred for everything I create Anonymous 48786[Reply]

I was at one point a creative person, and I think I still am deep inside but I just am so displeased with everything I make that it's rare I don't destroy it out of frustration before it's done or just quit. My lack of skill is so embarrassing.. if I try, the things I make look like a preteen tried their best in arts and crafts.
I guess I'm wondering if anyone else here feels similarly. I know it's normal to hate your art and crafts but how common is it to just get so frustrated midway that you barely have any finished products at the end of the year?
>inb4 mental illness
I'm diagnosed with anxiety, adhd and bipolar depression and taking meds for it but I also think most everyone is mentally ill these days
3 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 48804

hmmm, perhaps it is that whether you are mediocre or really exceptionally talented the art still exists. so there is still intrinsic value i'd say in being an artist. it is fun for everybody, and not just fun to an elite artist class perhaps. this is why there is always such interest in new talent when new talent arises

Anonymous 48808

You might want to work on your fundamentals if your work is honestly that frustrating for you.
/ic/ over on 4chan has good resources for these kinds of things.
It also helps to keep track of your progress by periodically drawing the same object or scene to measure how much you improved.
Just make sure to keep your stuff around so you have assurance that you are actually getting better(you are so long as you make note of your mistakes).

Anonymous 48812

>>48808
gets it

Set your expectations low and make sure you have some way to measure your improvement. I had a similar issue with music; mind you it's not my profession and I don't intend for it to become a job at any point in the future, but I still become frustruated and want to give up on almost every difficult study or piece that I ever attempt to play. I have to record and listen to myself playing my current projects every single week, otherwise I just forget about them and throw away my hard work. It seems to be quite common amongst people like us who grow up with the internet, being able to compare ourselves with the unmatchable elite. The key is to compare your current self to your past self (as opposed to somebody else).

Anonymous 48850

>used to draw regularly
>poorfag, it was my only hobby
>at one time was spending 8 hours a day drawing
>even drew manga stories
>???
>never get "good", everything always looks off and wonky
>did everything write, studied from life, practiced a lot, /ic/'s routine, etc
>just never looked okay
>eventually gave it up
>still get the urge to draw now and then
>always looks bad
>sometimes it looks so bad i get trauma from how bad it is

its like i have anti-talent. meanwhile got another hobby i am actually talented at and i'm really, really good. feels good.

Anonymous 48862

Watch Soul, its made for people like us.



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