>>96116
Maybe draw neither. Maybe draw funny things instead to distract yourself and go to a different place than you usually are.

Draw some banana babies. :v

>>96116
I get you nona for a long time the only art I could draw was my vent art. Trying my hardest to capture all my rage in drawings. Then I forced myself to to studies to break out and improve but then I completely got burned out and couldnt daw for years.
If your not ready to break out of you comfort zone, dont force yourself, sometimes it backfires.
>>96136
Hide your sketch book or have two, one you can show off.

Like others suggest if a topic thats outside of your norm that really sparks interest and inspiration. Maybe its something youve always wanted to draw but was too scared to.

>>96132
Okay, shit. I don't know how much of a coincidence this is, and I'm sorry for derailing, but just yesterday I fell into a rabbithole of this weird traditional artist that posts his canvases on various psychedelic-related subreddits. He has a good number of uploads, but what's startling is that every single one of them has this same exact face (since most people are vain, I'm going to be mean and assume that it's a self-portrait). You can probably find him through reverse image search.

So uh, use it as a reference I guess?

Just draw what you want and what makes comes to you, usually trying to force something leads to stiff or bad art. Its about going with the flow, unironically. Get it out of your system and enjoy your hobby

>>96136
who cares, the chance of anyone finding would be low anyways

>>95942 It is depressing. Extremely so. I believe that love can and should exist beyond the realm of appearance, but I do know it's rare and most of the time it won't happen. At 44 I never had a single boyfriend, and then last year at 43 I finally found someone willing to date me. After nearly a year together he's bought me a Valentine's gift to his credit, but he missed Christmas and my birthday. Missed seeing me for months because he was wasted on drugs, still won't see me every weekend, and forget love letters, dancing, or anything like that.

Is love only for Stacies & Beckies? I don’t feel like I’ll ever find love. When a stacy or Becky wears sweatpants and a sweatshirt, no makeup, hair in a bun, it’s cute. When I do it, I look like a rat.

What is with the obsession with dark triad traits? A lot of guys are into artificially developing those traits to “get one up” on girls they’re DATING? Like, these guys are being socialized to be manipulative…

>when did you realize you were a femcel and how old are you now
Quarter century age. Watching Kidology’s channel on YouTube has really helped me come to terms with my involuntary celibacy and my being a femcel. She does great dissertations truly calling out the degradation of the modern sexual marketplace.

>what does being a femcel mean to you?
I’ve come to realize that after my first (and last) relationship, I’ll never find another man like I had with my first boyfriend years ago and that’s okay. I’m neurodivergent and social contact was always something I could never comprehend. I knew that I would have never been able to get any boyfriend in person because I’m so retarded at understanding social cues. I was lucky enough to get the Discord virgin moid I managed to grab LOL. And after he left me I’ll probably never find another one ever again. Even if Stacie’s and Becky’s in real life drop me platitudes all the time saying how “pretty” I am and “omg y don’t u have a bf?! :(“ I know it’s all in vain because Western men in this modern society are absolute unadulterated garbage.

>vent about celibacy
I don’t give a shit what people think, but after losing my first (and last) sexual experience with my ex boyfriend (who was also a virgin) and who didn’t marry me like he promised he would, I don’t ever want to re-enter another relationship because with my current age and this society I won’t never be as lucky to find another virgin moid again. And I would rather kill myself than be subjected to the idea of dating a man who’s not a virgin. I don’t want another woman’s sloppy seconds.

>>95156
this is a bad sign something else is happening in her life, could be mental/internal or external pressure from someone or something else (maybe husband? idk).

Siblings dont vanish just because they have kids.
under normal circumstances a person would want their siblings to be loving uncles and aunts to their children.

>>95158
I don´t think is external pressure. Her husband is an asshole but she still goes out with her friends, and I´m one of the few relatives he doesn´t hate because I´m polite to him even if I dont like him.
And it is weird because I get along with the kid, I love him and he shows a lot of affection to me, but she seems distant all the time.
I wonder if she got mad with me for some reason, but I have no idea.

>>81734
>>81732
Sounds a lot like my relationship with my older sis. It's a stalemate cos why should I, the victim, take the high road and be the bigger person? Not to mention nobody even recognises just how fucking horrible it is to be the middle sister. Invisible and yet everybody's fool at their beck and call.

>>94996
maybe it's time to apologize to your sister about the past. it might mean a lot to her.

Hell no. I have two older sisters and they're about as normie as you can get, besides the fact that all three of us are about the same level of intelligence. They wouldn't even know how to comprehend this website if they came across it.
My oldest sister molested me when I was 6 and she was 13, which caused me to be hypersexual throughout my childhood, which in turn made my middle sister think I was a freak. The two of them were "best friends" growing up and treated me like trash, and being the youngest my parents didn't pay me much attention and pretty much let me raise myself. So I was functionally an only child growing up, constantly horny with unrestricted internet access, which is why I'm a miner and my sisters are not and never will be.

>>95547
It's been 5 hours. Are you okay? Did the police really come?

>>95547
In a better world it would be a opportune time to tell the police that youre being abused. But not all police are good people. He probably made up some bullshit story about you, if they are there and its not some trap.

Please stay safe and dont give up on leaving him. He doesnt sound like he'll ever change. You are more important then him.

>>95553
I really doubt a random japanese policeman would care. They'd probably give her shit for "making" him cause a scene.

>>95555
That's why I said "in a better world," I know they dont care.

Its isnt just Japanese policemen but American ones to and Im sure a lot of places of the world.

>>95529
>>95545

OP you need to secure yourself a phone that he doesn't know about. Cut off all contact with him. Do not read his text, do not answer phone calls.

I hope you get into the shelter. The next step is a plane ticket and fly out of Japan.

And whatever you do, DO NOT reconcile with the psycho gremlin. He is a sick psycho and deserves to be alone.

If he is "dying" that is good, he deserves to suffer. If he claims he is hurting because of you, understand that that is good. His suffering is ethical, because he is a disgusting psycho criminal. He does not deserve symapthy.

If you did the stupid thing and went back to his house. Escape AGAIN, this time to the shelter. Then get out of Japan.

>>94825
Why don't you just enter a relationship with a fat girl and have regular sex with her? Most people only date people they're attracted to, you're not objectifying anyone by dating women you find attractive.

>>94825
i agree with the nona above, although i do believe that porn exposure and trauma can "switch" our sexuality, so it is indeed a possibility that under normal circumstances you wouldn't have developed this taste. but you should just go ahead and do what makes you happy.

can you expand on how your fetishism developed? how do you think bullying in particular influenced it?

>>94896
Hey Nona,I'm so sorry for late reply, I've been busy with uni

So, my obsession with weight has been there as long as I have been aware of my own existence. My very first memory consists of a family meeting where they were sharing diet tips and me running to my parents' room to weigh myself.
I remember gaining weight at the age of 3 and being teased for it a lot by other kids in the park and daycare. I have a particularly traumatizing memory from daycare. Sons of daycare attendants, who were much older than we were at the time (they were around 15 ) would hang out there and pick on literal 3 year olds. One day they came after me. They stripped me,molested me,and groped my fat. Similar thing happened at preschool, at age 6, minus molesting. My own dad would grab me by the ass throughout my childhood and tell me how fat I was. He wasn't the only one who did such a thing. Last time such thing happened was at age 12,a boy from my school grabbed my fat ass and when I started complaining he said that I should be grateful for any attention got since I was,in his words, hideous and fat. It was the moment that kickstarted my eating disorder.
To get back to the point, I can pinpoint the moment when everything started. I was 4. Totally spies was playing on the TV. It was the episode where a villain was plotting to conquer the world by making everyone fat by selling addictive cookies. Watching one of the protagonists gain fuckton of weight awakened both my fetish and lesbianism,however, it manifested slightly later. I started touching myself couple of months later and I have been doing it all the time i was alone while thinking of fat women. I got addicted to porn at 7 years old when I was left unattended. I simply googled "fat women " on a family pc and within minutes I fell down the rabbit hole of fat fetish models and fat fetish art. The rest is history.

posted in a different thread but i might as well post this here too.

The only way I manage to get ahead of my daydreaming problem is by self-pleasuring which has turned into a very negative and compulsive habit every time i'm alone after work and i always feel disgusting after because i do it so damn much.

I'm not actually that horny in reality but I do it because it fends off my touch starvation and constant fantasization about having a husband and children.

But when I'm alone with myself and face the crushing realization that i am 24 and have never been held or loved by a moid the only thing i do to stop myself from laying flat on the floor like im already half dead and crying is this disgusting habit/addiction.

I don't even enjoy what i'm watching. P-rn usually makes me very sad and depressed because when the moid in the video is cute because i feel like its unfair and he is wasted and i want someone who has a cute face like him to be with me instead of sleeping with wh-res on video for cash (i feel bad for women in the sex industry and i know they are groomed, abused, etc. but im just saying how my subconcious feels not my rational mind).

But watching it and gaining physical satisfaction from it afterwards numbs all of these terrible feelings, except the next time i am back in my normal mental state i start crying again either out of wishing the moid actor could be with me instead, or out of guilt for getting off to a disgusting video (even vanilla p-rn is disgusting to me because its so voyeuristic and the industry is just sick) or because im touch/love starved.

Sometimes i regret rejecting the men who were DTF in the past year and in college as well but i know it would mess me up worse than i already am if they just dumped me after sleeping together. Even after rejecting them i still fantasize about some of them even though none of them were husbando material.

>>94886
On the contrary. I am now reduced to memories of porn or erotic memories from the past. I have no imagination when it comes to that and always fail to conjure anything new. And when I am high or very drunk I am ashamed to admit that I relapse and check porn again…

>>95089
It's awesome that you own a house. How did you manage that at 27?

>>95094
I’m curious too.
Most people who have a house under 30 get assistance from their parents. I’d be inspired if nona did it all on her own which seems reasonable. She’s got a good head on her shoulders and sounds like she’s near the apex of her career at a young age

>>95094
>>95097
I'm not the anon you're replying to, but I also bought a house in my twenties so I figured I'd reply. For me, I lived at home with my parents and worked full time so I could save for a down-payment. If you have parents who are willing to let you live with them without paying rent, I highly recommend it.

>>95105
NTA I’m living with my husband right now and his Mom bought him a condo. We just pay strata fee as our rent money to her. The Condo’s sales will contribute to the purchase of our first house. So I guess technically she is assisting us.

>>27261
>>27261
>What are the advantages of being at this age?
>A much better sense of how much the doom and gloom of the internet paints a far worse picture of the world than how things really are. I feel very secure in my life, which allows me to be authentically myself.

This is such a stupid take.

>>95160

I have no idea if it makes any substanial difference but last time I was job-hunting I did my makeup and dressed up a bit for the interview. I ended up getting two offers.

>>95160
work in an it department or a remote admin role. If you can competantly use an image board you could suitably work an entry level admin job. If you ask a family member with a business to be your reference you don't even have to tell them you are or were a NEET.

>>76647
Not who you were replying to but this is one of the most comforting things I have read or heard in a very long time. I don't really know why but these words soothed me. Thank you.

>>76759
You know you have to look for another job right? Your cat or your ldr partner (if things end up in disappointment) are things you will have to manage emotionally with time and patience. But there's not much you can do about it for now. What seems to be destroying you is your job. Literally destroying you. Start looking for a way out. With a healthier lifestyle it will be easier to tackle your other challenges.

>>95160
Are you applying for minimum wage jobs or jobs that acquire skills/degree?

I'm so delusional

>>95095
You still did it though, very nice.
>>95103
In what way?

>torrented all of college books
>fafsa covers almost every cost that I would have to pay
>all of my classes end up needing me to pay for ebooks and access codes for a third-party site to do actual work and exams
>have to pay $500 out of pocket just to use access codes
>don't know if buying cheaper ebook options outside of the actual website itself will even give me a viable access code
fucking why is this a thing. JUST USE CANVAS TO UPLOAD THE ASSIGNMENTS TO. i'm just starting college again and i have to do many more classes after this, so who knows how many times i'll encounter this. i don't even know if this degree is worth it to be entirely honest.

My face looks so fucking weird. It's like I've gone through puberty 2.0. I've lost some weight (like 4 kilos it's not dramatic but im half a midget anyway) and now my jawline looks sharp (from the front), kinda like Timothee chalamet in his emaciated rat phase.
Fuck, I've always had a pretty-ish face even if i was insecure in my body. But now my face looks so weird. I don't recognize myself anymore. On the other hand, I know if I continue down this rabbit hole the natural conclusion will be "i should get botox/filler" and i don't wanna look bogged by 27. No thank you.

>>95060


>But still, being in a foreign country where no one knows you makes it a bit easier to do things that you normally wouldn't.

That's true. I'm just a prisoner of my own mind so I just wouldn't be surprised if I still fuck it up. Learning to gaijin smash would be a very valuable skill otherwise, I'm sure.

>Hell, you could try doing an offline meetup with someone, ain't a shortage of autists over there.

There is this Japanese guy I know but I am so bad at texting back these days I'm surprised he even still wants to talk to me. He'll be married with kids, by the time I get myself to message him properly. (If he isn't already. oop-) I also know at least two other foreigners, one from my Japanese club on campus and another that a friend connected me with, that left for Japan. We will probably be in completely different prefectures but I've noticed Japanese expat community seems pretty open to offline meetups so it might work.

One of the worst things for me is having put in the effort of trying to make friends irl but having nothing in common with them when it comes down to actually hanging out. The worst is when they say something really fucking dumb or offensive. Finding someone with the same vibes is hard

>>94533
Anon I feel for you. I could have wrote this except I did have friends up until age 16. I had a small group of friends and a best friend. Then I moved and have been a socially anxious shut in since. I don't know how to make friends anymore and I'm scared and nervous around strangers.

Ever since I had my best friend at the time betray me in late 2020, I couldn't make friends as easily or have a friend group again. I have frequent paranoid fits where I delete or remove people from my friend's list, and then isolate myself for weeks. It still hurts, and it happened when I was around 16. I'm an adult now, and it's like this deep scar in my brain won't heal.
I've tried discord, that didn't work and actually made me feel worse, and twitter, but that didn't help either. I go to university but I always feel sad when people I want to be friends with ignore me and have so much fun with the friends they've known since grade school. A big chunk of people I considered my online friends just ignore me or ghost me for weeks on end, they say they're busy but they change their profile pics or go out with other friends.

I've tried lowering my standards also, but forcing myself to be a boring person who only likes trends only makes me feel shittier. I know it sounds extremely arrogant of me, but I wish there was people who had the passion, mindset, and patience that I do. Only this month did I realise that even though I put my contact information in the open, nobody bothers to reach out to me. Only two of my online friends reach out to me on a frequent basis, the rest, they ignore me and never talk to me unless I talk to them.
I feel so fucking lonely. Like the OP picture, I wish I could mess around with friends like that, or go to places together with people. It seems like I am fucked with real life and online friends either way, and my horrible paranoia doesn't make it any better.

>>94496
something similar happened to me too. a little different but i was going through the worse period of my life & i suppose I wasn’t the greatest friend at that time, i didn’t do anything inherently wrong, but I couldn’t be relied upon. but I was always so supportive & as helpful as I could be. i feel like one of the girls was threatened by me as she felt quite possessive of another girl in the group, someone I got on well with, so she had an agenda to push me out. I was too nice & forgiving & didn’t assert boundaries properly & eventually i had my breakdown. when I was going through my crisis, this girl kicked me when I was down - immediately causing drama, stirring stuff behind my back, trying to push me out, stirring lies about me. unfortunately because she came off as the stable rational one as I had mental health problems she was believed. the group followed suit. I lost my friends & i became pretty pathetic by trying to hang onto it. it messes you up. but how ironic that when I have issues, start to take time away & get help, that this happens. but ultimately people that fall out with you when you put yourself first, are often the ones that benefit from you putting yourself last. as soon as you enter that mode you are of no use to them anymore. my situation is a little different but what I can suggest is that 1. you don’t have anything wrong with you, so never convert this situation into “not being good” enough etc - what they have shown you, is that they are not good enough for you. good riddance that people you thought were friends, are actually selfish, uncaring & disloyal people and that they are gone. you don’t want friends like this anyway. you don’t need their validation. their opinion about you should hold absolutely no value. only people in your inner circles who have your best interests have valuable opinions on you. so ultimately their opinions should have no bearing on you as they have shown themselves unworthy of being your friend. another thing to note is that people who bring a lot to the table, loyalty, caring, empathy & more - find it hard to meet other people that mirror this. “the more you bring to the table, the harder it is to find someone to sit with” - but there are nice people out there, you just have to filter out the shitty ones.

>>94533

I know how you feel Nona
It's pretty much me except I had few acquaintances in college. I was never invited to parties, trips anything
It sucks

Now its hard for me to make friends & my social skills suck

I just can't seem to make myself like anyone enough to want to share myself with them, if that makes any sense. I have a boyfriend and maybe three friends, the rest are acquaintances and colleagues. Got rid of Facebook a while ago because the people I'd ever want to contact me already have other ways of doing so.

my friendships and relationships are always very one-sided. like I mentioned, I don't share myself with people but people share themselves a lot with me. I imagine that's normal but I can't relate to it

I guess I'm lonely? I think most of all I wish that I felt the desire to form close connections with other people. Humans are a social species and we pair bond and etc etc so it makes me feel like I'm not really human

>>7178
Online friends are the best friends you can get since it's easy to detach them from yourself and just fade off. In IRL relationships things get unnecessarily complex when you try to do that. Also IRL everyone remembers your fuckups, online you can just change your nick and continue with your life.

I'm lonely but I have a lot of pride, I often cut people off after being vulnerable around them because I feel I've behaved in a way that's beneath me and embarrassing. I'm kind of a neet and have a lot of mental problems which doesn't help either. I miss my ex and I feel pretty awful not having a confidante or any kind of easy friendship. It honestly makes me feel suicidal.

I'm very much alone. I have a few friends who I think genuinely care for me but they all live far away. I also feel bad talking to them because I feel like such a burden. I'm so depressed all the time I doubt that I'm much fun to be around. The last time I went home, I cried because it felt so nice to be around people who loved me. I'm so tired of having to try. I could put myself out there and meet people (actually I don't know if I could bring myself to do that), but even if I did it's not as if those people genuinely would care about me either. I'm so tired of feeling this way I want to give up.

>>7279
No risk, no reward; that includes friendships.
>>94426
Vulnerability is the point.