/feels/ - Advice & Venting

your parents are neglectful assholes, I'm sorry about that nona. dads getting rid of their old kids ASAP after they find a new woman is a fairly common thing for some reason

>>125660
He doesn’t even have new kids. he’s always been like this. Like he just shouldn’t have been a dad. So I don’t fault him for it. I just wish I wasn’t born.

>>125658
Very sorry to hear that your parents lack empathy for their own daughter. Hope it can turn around for the better for you. Glad to hear that your managers cared. Its understandable that you feel indebted to them, but they were just being decent human beings. Maybe in the future those uncaring parents can be dumped in an old age home that shows that same lack of empathy.

My parents cared too much. My mother would emotionally abuse me for not meeting her ridiculous expectations of me being a genius (had to start school at 5 y.o. as a child with ADHD because of them). She would feel guilty over it which lead to lovebombing spats which fucked up my capabilities for physical affection and made me anxiously doubt any acts of kindness towards me for the rest of my life.
They would bitch and moan about me not being able to support myself while also providing just enough support for me to depend on them, completely unprompted.

I ended up moving to another country and, as difficult as my life was for the first few years, it forced me to learn a lot of important things about life and myself. A part of me even regrets that I wasn't kicked out by my parents the moment I finished college.

>>125658
>I feel like I owe them now and like I’ve gotten too close to them
Helping people who need a hand is actually pretty normal, you're probably overthinking it because your family is fucked up. I hope you find some cool friends, because if this much is enough to make you consider quitting your job, you may be prone to self-isolation. As someone who's dealt with AvPD, I get the social anxiety over that kind of closeness, but self-isolation isn't great for people. Probably gotta work on your confidence and self-worth after all that. You got a job and a rental despite your shitty family, you should be proud of yourself too

>>126037
the browser history at the homeless center PCs probably gets wild

OP you will never be trent reznor ❤️

>>126073
Actually, one day I will be.

is there a women’s shelter near you? if so, you should go there and you won’t have to deal with these moids. also, if you somehow can, open up a venmo/gofundme and some nonas can help you a bit.

>>126084
I'm on the waiting list, still, for one shelter, and tomorrow I'll try to get on the waiting list of another one.
Still on the streets, waiting to get inside a shelter.

Thanks for the heads up on those services you mentioned.

>should i see how she feels about me nonas
>i love her and she's a great person, but she's also a drug addict who refuses to get better and i can't have that stress added on top of everything else going on in my life rn
You don't need anyone else advising you on this, you already know the answer

please don’t. she does love you but drug addicts will choose their substance over their loved ones. key word: refuses to get help. i have addicts in my family and know that their love is very real but their brains are taken over as if by a demon or parasite (depending on how far in the addiction they are) and their love is pushed out of the way by their chemical need of the drug. in a moment of clear thinking she realized what she did wrong. she has chosen the drugs over you and you don’t need the stress in your life. tell her you will keep your arms open for her if she really does decide to recover but until then you will not contact her. i am sure that she does love you but her brain has essentially been taken over by a substance that is literally poisoning her and also messes a lot with her emotions and way of thinking. and the reason she is being “confusing” is probably because of brain damage. she sounds immature and possibly bpd or something. choose your peace because this girl needs to get better and mature.

Salt water purification

My best friend is like you. I've significantly helped her with saying no to people, and we celebrate every time she tells someone "no."

The best thing you can do is reflect on times you agreed to do something you didn't want to do.
>Why did you agree to it?
Is it really about 'keeping peace,' or is it that you're scared of an outburst if you say no?
>Why did you regret agreeing to it?
Is it because that person never does anything for you? Is it because you forewent something you wanted to do? Is it just because you were already really tired and stressed, and you just agreed to do more work?

Reflecting deeply is most of the solution, you can make a plan for the future:
>Hey nona, can you drive me to (distant location) tomorrow night?
>"No, sorry, I'm really swamped with housework and need to catch up," or "Sorry, I've been trying to fix my sleep schedule and I need to be ready for bed by 9p.m."
Don't lie, obviously. If you actually are swamped with housework, they might offer to help you beforehand, which may work out better for you. If anyone is genuinely offended by such reasons, and they don't offer a helping hand, then they're genuinely bad people and you should welcome their scorn. I'm perfectly happy to burn such people for good; I have said "No sorry, I'd prefer not to" to people's faces (I got the idea from Bartleby). Some never speak to me again, yet others are still close friends.

Being useful doesn't make you respected, it just makes you get used. I'm only where I am because I'm a bitter, jaded person. It's not better to be like me, you shouldn't burn bridges like I do. It's lonely. Find something in the middle that works.

>>126030
>Is it really about 'keeping peace,' or is it that you're scared of an outburst if you say no?

I'm scared they won't like me or want to be my friend if I don't do it.

The moment I stop making an effort, the friendship and/or relationship usually stops in its tracks.

>Is it because that person never does anything for you? Is it because you forewent something you wanted to do? Is it just because you were already really tired and stressed, and you just agreed to do more work?

I've regretted it if they're abusive, disrespectful or hurtful afterwards. I don't necessarily want them to do "something" for me.

A friend asked me to make a website so thats what Im gonna do now since Im still unemployed

>>125667
I was really depressed when I was a NEET as well.
Watching Osomatsu-san made me feel a little bit better but also worse in a way too.
Do you have hobbies? Any plans on not being a NEET anymore? What's keeping you from pursuing a career and education? Depression? I hope you're seeing a therapist about it… My depression was largely situational, and improving my immediate environment and finding a way to advance my education for the sake of my future career helped me immensely. It's not any special job or anything, but I've found that doing anything is usually better than doing nothing and learning things is actually pretty fun.

>>125900
>Watching Osomatsu-san made me feel a little bit better but also worse in a way too.
for me, it's Juushimatsu.

you have to MOVE
your body produces endorphins when it moves around, especially when exercising

you should have a ritual to kickstart to your day
tell yourself that you can play your games after your morning ritual AND breakfast (which includes washing the dishes)
you'll have to wash them anyway so what difference does it make ? if you get rid of your chores first, your fun won't be spoiled by the worry of having to do them

>tiktok
soulless slop
>r*ddit
no comment
tbh i find trooncord less cancerous, i have a few servers that i only use to scroll the meme channels and mute the rest

I'm not formally recognized as not NEET by the government, but I'm actually employed as a god, and always educating myself on matters pertaining to that.

So, fairly thread relevant.

>>124559
>Send the demisexual men over to me.
What's your contact? I'll tell him to reach out.

>>124548
What do Muslims have to do with any of this. Act normal

>>124469
Yeah it sounds like you were heavily brainwashed into self loathing and to prioritizing caring about your looks more than simply enjoying your life. If you are really attractive you don't need to be validated by somebody else that's your ego

The real question is, is HE attractive ? As long as you're physically emotionally attracted to them, that's all that matters.

>>124527
Thank you. I'm over here literally avoiding male attention at all costs. Op has a non porn addicted moid and she feels it's asexual ???? We have a real winner here

>>124469
I knew a boy once that didn't watch porn, but was still very sexual. He was a true romantic, the idea of engaging in anything sexual (including porn) without being in a loving relationship disgusted him. Like he was literally fembrained in this regard, but was otherwise masculine (wasn't a femboy at all)
I would have dated him, but I was a NEET at the time and dependent on my bf
So I guess they do exist. But he's the only guy like that that I've ever met

No, you have reasonable suspicion. Can’t trust moids these days especially the last part about the uwu emo girl part. You need to confront him. Don’t let him think he can slide away with anything. Also, guys probably like it when you’re a bit “jealous” because it shows you really do love and value them.

>>125997
He woke up and kept apologizing and said that the emo girl was someone he followed really long time ago before we even meet but i probably didn't see her he said he's sure that he didn't follow her recently and he has cut the conversation with her after we started talking. The other one turned out to be his really close friend's gf lol

>>125936
>Are you really "supposed" to
Well, yes, I guess women are expected to be heterosexual. I tried to force myself to be attracted to random boys at school just to fit in when I was asked about crushes, it was to the point that even I started to believe it. Until a boy asked me out and I had to face reality. I just didn't want to date at all and if I got to pick, I'd actually prefer my girl friends as girlfriends, but also not in a sexual way. It took me so long to figure out my actual preferences because I was preoccupied with what and how I'm "supposed" to be attracted to people.

>>125937
>I just didn't want to date at all and if I got to pick, I'd actually prefer my girl friends as girlfriends, but also not in a sexual way

Thats just means you are not ready for dating. I mean thats perfectly normal, not everybody needs to date and if you go out to date, either men or women, when all you want it seems to be to chill with your friends, you are actually forcing yourself to end up in uncomfortable situations.

>>125938
Yeah, I felt that way until I had an actual crush at 20.
Made me feel very out of place since all of my friends were dating or at the very least interested in it, like 10 years earlier than me. I'm almost 30 now and I noticed that I only really get crushes on people I've been friends with for like at least 3 years. More romantically than sexual though, so I'd say I'm demiromantic asexual since that's what that describes. I don't feel abnormal about it anymore, it's just how I am ig. I do wish I'd figured out that this kind of asexuality is normal earlier though, because I did force myself into some uncomfortable situations in my late teens… Especially after reading about how totally effective arranged marriages are, that feelings will just develop if you force yourself to be with someone of the opposite gender (because "men and women can't be friends, they'll date" or sth) or that women aren't truly interested in sex anyway but they have it because they care so much about their bfs and just trying out sex will make me like and crave it anyway and all that garbage. (One of my friends really did crave sex and I thought, "sex must be so good, I'll feel just like her after I do it, I just gotta bring myself to do it"). I'm glad I didn't take it too far in the end though, my partner never pressured me or anything although I did feel immense guilt when I didn't just fall in love and want sex after doing very uncomfortable kissing and stuff. (I even tried to work myself up to it by fantasising and thinking of him when masturbating, but it didn't really change anything). Wasn't great for either of us but I'm glad that it didn't go as far as it could've gone. I should've taken it easy back then and just focused on my friends instead of trying to force something I wasn't feeling, but whenever I told people I didn't have a crush nor type, they straight up didn't believe me and accused me of lying and stuff, kinda sucked…

>>125936
Thanks I'm just ranting really. I know I don't "have" to find men attractive I just want to shout into the void my irritation. I'm actually 4b. I'm not closed off to dating women I just don't want to hurt them. Did I mention I got out of all of my relationships? I genuinely start feeling claustrophobic in them. Up until now at least.

i can still feel attraction towards them though. So sometimes I genuinely wonder if someone wouldn't make me want to run for the hills… But I'm resigned to assume no, because it's happened so mNy times I just don't date.

But I refuse to experiment in ways that hurt lesbians just for my own gain no matter how cute I find them sometimes. I get claustrophobic but I don't rope people info it.

The thing with men though is complicated. I'm on the opposite side of the universe from men and what they want, there's too much to unpack.

>>125937
That was me too, ages ago. I thought I had to give it a shot and I broke them all off.

>>125956
This is such a non issue lol. If being pretty is so tiresome go back to being a fat slob.

>>125959
Yes, that's why I said "I can't complain"
I'm not unhappy, just thinking about how strange it is

>>125959
Yes, that's why I said "I can't complain"
I'm not unhappy, just thinking about how strange it is

>>125962
why do you keep double-posting nona?

>>125963
I don't know why it's happening, I think it's something with my computer