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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

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Anonymous 118981[Reply]

Why do many people who offer social skills advice act as if simply listening and asking questions is the right way to go?

A good connection happens very naturally between people making a genuine effort to understand eachother. You can't just ask questions like a job interview, otherwise it's totally one-sided and there is not really a connection. If they only talk about themselves and don't care about you, then you should just walk away.


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Anonymous 118842[Reply]

you can literally send a guy nudes and he will be like "i dont think we should be more than friends" like what the actual FUCK. and im a fucking retard for actually thinking he was different from all the other guys and that he wasn't a porn addicted loser. like, im sat in shock i cant fucking believe it what the fuck is wrong with him. and then he has the AUDACITY to start venting to me about how he wants to kill himself, like i hope you DO omg
4 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 118849

>im a fucking retard for actually thinking he was different from all the other guys and that he wasn't a porn addicted loser.
Well at least you’re somewhat self aware, but you really shouldn’t send your nudes to any more random moids. Some of them will share them with their friends and post them online.

Anonymous 118851

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There is no reason in this world to send nudes, especially to a guy who is not yours at all. Besides, the guy you sent these photos to seems like a manipulative two-faced person, imagine someone like that in possession of your nudes? Like, why did you do that? Stop with this hookup culture nonsense, this kind of thing doesn't add anything to your life.

Anonymous 118864

__watson_amelia_wa…

>Sending nudes
>Ever

Anonymous 118928

"I bought her dinner why isn't she sucking my cock" this is you, basically

Anonymous 118984

Anon don't send nudes.. it takes 5 seconds for him to dump that in a groupchat or show it to a friend irl.



__hilda_and_tepig_…

Anonymous 116666[Reply]

What was the most fun/creative date you’ve ever been on?

If you've never dated, what are fun/creative dates that you would like to have?
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 116714

not really creative, but probably the most interesting first date
>plan to meet in the city and get a coffee in the morning
>have hot chocolate and churos
>walk along the foreshore and talk
>it starts to rain, he breaks into a construction site so we can wait it out
>go hang out in the city, just walking around, taking pictures for my art blog and seeing things
>my ribs ache from how much he made me laugh
>take a train together
>there's a problem with the track so we have to get off and walk to our final stop
>run from overzealous security when we take a shortcut
>talk about some pretty serious things and I'm kind of exhausted so I'm just honest about my trauma
>hold hands and he gives me his backpack to shield myself from another downpour
>run into a movie theatre
>get some drinks and immediately fall sleep on his shoulder in the dark
>he thinks I want to go home and mentions his place is nearby, so walking me back won't be a problem
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 116729

>>116666
I usually just go on hikes, long walks, and eat out at restaurants or cafes for my dates.

Don't know what movie fantasies ya;'ll be living, but count me jelly.

Anonymous 118112

>>116666
i want to lure and kill a man after having sex

Anonymous 118958

>>118112
but why nona

Anonymous 118970

>>118958
she has 8 legs with a dot on her back



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Anonymous 118058[Reply]

im sick of everything right now. i feel constantly alienated. i have this dull sensation of jumping into traffic or off balconies. i know im doing it all for him but at some point i know im a burden. i cant even put out. im a fuck up in every sense of the word and im probably going to drop out. the only thing i have is a yaoi addiction and a man who is too good for me.
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 118062


Anonymous 118237

Hope you feel better nona. Strange that this didn't get any helpful replies.

Anonymous 118291

>>118058
I've been through similar feeling and honestly, the only thing that kept me alive was the thought of pain that I would endure if I finally decided to kill myself. Really, no suicide method is painless. They all hurt, just in different ways. Not everyone is afraid of pain as much as I do, but maybe this will help you as well. Just think about how much it would hurt when you got hit by a full speed car.
Also, the other thing that kept me is the chance of failing a suicide attempt. And becoming disabled after it or maybe even a compete vegetable. While we're young our bodies have great physiological compensatory mechanism, so you may survive, but the life after failed suicide attempt would absolutely not be worth it.
I hope this helps you a bit

Anonymous 118824

>yaoi addiction
based, keep surviving my fujosister

Anonymous 118841

>>118058
Nona, the main thing that keeps me going is knowing that I'd hurt people that care for me and can keep helping them just by being there. Your man sounds like he's happy to have you.
Also, this book helped me quit porn. It's boring and cringe, but it worked for me:
https://read.easypeasymethod.org/easypeasy.pdf



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I just want things to get better Anonymous 118872[Reply]

Pa vents to me about ma, sometimes complaining, or telling me about their worries about money or her, sometimes his frustrations with her or our life. The things he tells me and says make me worry, I don't think I should be told half the things he tells me really, but I should support him and I do. But man, it's beginning to affect me like a pussy, I just am worried, ma's quit and changed jobs a few times now, isn't doing well emotionally and is having some bad moments, financial worries etc, call me crazy but frankly after all these conversations I've had with pa, where he tells me things that make me worried honestly (about our future as a family, our future in our house, upset at how he is criticisng ma sometimes to me for her behaviour towards him, or habits around the house etc, I don't know) and I won't say it's the reason I am not hopeful for the future anymore, but that's part of it. I've tried to remain positive but I don't have it right now, besides it's exam week and I'm struggling with getting started to hand my work in. Thoughts? I love my ma and pa, I was lucky enough to be able to have a pa again, as my 'father' isn't in my life for a long time now, and left when I was young, I saw him last 10 years ago. Damn you father, you fucked me over, I love you Ma and Pa, and I am sorry for doing what I've done, I hope I grow up and be better, you deserve better and I hope I rot in hell for my ugly, disgusting and destructive sins I've done in secret and to you. I'm sorry, and I know I've apologised to you many times but the worst part of it is I didn't mean it, but I wanted to feel important and like a victim or dramatic and I did stuff that was awful. Fuck reddit, no, fuck me for reading the victim stories and feeling inferior about not being a victim, idiot.


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A Condescending Family Member Anonymous 118898[Reply]

I hate that my aunt (and sometimes her husband) treats me like I am a child and always a bother.

For context, I am a 26-year-old woman and I live with her, her husband and my two siblings.

They seem to be always on the hunt to find something about me that they can snicker about.

Recently, they have taken to telling me that I am no good at cleaning or even washing myself (among other things) when this was never an issue before, and I hear otherwise from people outside the home.

She's always whispering around and it's giving my younger sister a bit of superiority complex. Imagine being treated as more of an adult than your older sister?

I have mentioned wanting to move out and live on my own because it's maddening to be here and to be constantly ridiculed over issues that I am not even guilty of. But every attempt to do so was shot down for some unknown reason…

I am college student and receive financial aid and was told by a counselor that I can definitely move out…But God forbid I ask her to allow me to manage my own finances.

Unrelated GIF but it's necessary for posting.

Anonymous 118899

>>118898
this is unacceptable. manage your own finances, move out and get those nasty people out of your life. find nice people instead and hang with them.

Anonymous 118911

>>118899

I am currently searching for social workers that can help me to understand the financial situation.

The bright side is, I have been making an effort to become more independent due to the uncomfortable vibes I have whenever I’m in the household. So, I’m trying my best to continue using that negativity as a means to really become my own person with my own space to do whatever the hell I want to do without unnecessary scrutiny.

Anonymous 118912

jorge.jpg

>>118898
Naturally they don't respect you, because you're such a baby at your age. Best of luck in becoming an independent adult.

Anonymous 118913

>>118912
I can understand if that were true. It may be difficult to be respected if you’re especially childish as an adult.

The problem is I don’t really do anything that is “baby-ish”. Yeah, I might have “yessed” her to death on all of her suggestions (which unfortunately revolved around my own independence). But that’s just being a kiss ass.



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have you been the other woman? Anonymous 118805[Reply]

have you ever been the other woman? did you know you were the other woman? were you ok with being the other woman? what did you do when you found out? how long did it last? how did you feel? how did the girlfriend or wife react to you? talk about your experience.

Anonymous 118823

guilo.png

>have you ever been the other woman?
yeah to a one night stand in uni, i didn't plan to see him again and he was visiting the city anyway so i didn't care, another was a coworker who lead me on, also i was sexually assaulted by a family member and his retarded gf viewed it as cheating and stayed with him lmao but i feel like that doesn't count
>did you know you were the other woman?
saw "wifey" on his phone and his mates confirmed it later, the coworker deliberately hid it from me so i had to hear it from friend of friends that he had a gf he was allergic to mentioning
>were you ok with being the other woman?
didn't care with the ons, the coworker kinda fucked me off but i decided against cucking his gf because it's likely a matter of time before he cucks me
>what did you do when you found out?
nothing, i didn't have the ons on social media and in the coworker's case i couldn't be fucked since i didn't want to deal with workplace drama
>how long did it last?
ons lasted barely ten minutes lol, thankfully never got that fair with the coworker despite his attempts
> how did you feel?
nothing with ons, coworker kinda pissed me off but oh well
>how did the girlfriend or wife react to you?
ons's wifey likely never found out unless his moid mates said something, coworker's gf was very insecure with me, she cornered me in a bar and asked me "do you really like girls?" since im bi and she didn't specify i just said yes and she said something to the effect of "oh good my bf didn't lie when he said you're a lesbian"
>talk about your experience
ons was uneventful but when i ignored coworker's weird attempts to get flirty he went around telling everyone he'd fuck me, kinda funny how moids act way more perverted with you once they realise you're not gonna fuck them

Anonymous 118876

My fiance and I started dating at a time where he was noncommittally flirting with a bunch of people, and one of them was a woman who was cheating on her boyfriend with him, and looking to monkey branch. When I said I liked him, he immediately cut everyone he was flirting with off, her included, as in his own words, he just wanted me that badly. Turns out she was incredibly emotionally invested in him, she was planning to have him fly out to go have sex with her and see if he was really a "viable" option for a relationship, lol. Of course with me in the picture, that was shot dead, and she was seething for a month until she did some digging and found out we were dating, took screenshots of my socials where I was talking about him and confronted him, saying that I was just some "random girl" he was all of a sudden extremely invested in and was confused and felt pushed to the side by him, as if she wasn't actively cheating on her boyfriend with him. She kept trying to convince him to give her another chance, and he sent me the entire conversation and I realized immediately she was actively attempting to monkey branch with him and getting angry her plan didn't work. I showed him an article about monkey branching, he sent it to her, she gave the thumbs up emoji and never spoke to him again. Cheaters get fucked.

Anonymous 118877

>>118876
>When I said I liked him, he immediately cut everyone he was flirting with off

And you ACTUALLY believed that? You really think he was juggling a dozen different side girls without knowing exactly what to say to all of them to keep them happy? How can you be that naive.

Anonymous 118885

>>118877
It happens. My eventual husband did it for me.



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How can I 'fix' my life? Anonymous 118867[Reply]

I don't want to work and times I feel like being productive, I still end up doing the same thing every day; being online either browsing the web or playing games.
I stay up late and have tried changing my sleep schedule, and it stills ends up being the same. I heard those already with mental illness are more prone to being online a lot, like an addiction. I don't have the money for therapy, so I just have to find the will to do basic tasks and take care of myself, but don't know how.
I know the typical answer is to just "remove yourself from your devices and put yourself in a better environment" but I don't quite understand why I can't do something as simple as that. If you've ever been stuck in this kind of lifestyle and mindset, as severe as mine is or just for a short while, please help. I need your honest advice but also serious answers.

Anonymous 118868

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you're struggling to do something as simple as that because it's not simple. your online habits are probably filling an emotional need, so if you try to stop suddenly, it's like you're trying to walk on a broken leg without support. if you want to get off the crutches, you'll have to heal the wound. it might be worth introspecting about what you get out of being online. is it companionship? distraction? attention? solitude? security? if you're like me, it's probably all of the above.

the way you/we get out of it, as far as I can tell, is deciding to be someone who fills her needs in a healthier way. someone who loves herself enough that she'll brave the discomfort of change, knowing she deserves the better life that comes after. sometimes I imagine my ideal Nona, and try to really step into her mindset and do what she would do, even if it's something small like not skipping daily self-care. sometimes it even works.

Anonymous 118871

ac3162a12658cc351a…

I've been in this situation. I haven't left my house for a year,
I didn't see anyone other than my parents, my brother and our cat, long before of the pandemic. Today I'm studying for a university entrance exam, and I work at a job that's kinda crap, but at least I don't spend the whole day at home and have my own pocket money. There is no magic solution, you need to make an effort and create small rituals to create discipline; I just got tired of my situation, I couldn't bear to live like that anymore.
I started by just taking a shower when I wake up in the morning, tidy up my bed and exercising also helped a lot,
you need to set small and simple goals, do it little by little, every day. Another thing is to give daily updates right here on
CC, I think it can help you monitor your own evolution.
On the issue of work: I don't like working either, but I also don't like asking anyone for money; I'm trying to find a way to make money without being a wagie, but I think it can be very bad for you not to have your own money, even if is not a lot.
As for being online all day: what do you usually see on the internet? Are you really having fun? Because I used to waste a lot of time doom scrolling on social media often seeing only things that I didn't even like, maybe you are in the same situation.

Anyway, don't forget to update the thread, keep telling us how you feel about what you've been able to do,
perhaps more people will appear in a similar situation who are also tired of this



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Anonymous 118693[Reply]

What's it like being married to a lesbian?

Anonymous 118694

i want to be married to another lesbian

Anonymous 118811

>>118694
I want to be married to another leasbian's leasbian

Anonymous 118865

>>118693
focus on having genuine connections first and foremost, then decide whether or not you'd be comfortable even dating a woman.



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Anonymous 118852[Reply]

35 dpo.
i am 42 years old and slowly going crazy and feel completely desperate. Am I pregnant or not? Or are these just evaporation lines?

please need some emotional support

Anonymous 118853

Unfortunately, this does look like an evaporation line. I'm sorry that you are struggling to conceive.

Anonymous 118854

Thank you for your reply. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for two years, but so far, nothing has happened. What are my chances of getting pregnant at 42?

Anonymous 118855

>>118854
I don't know about your chances but my aunty had her first kid at 40/41 and her twin boys at 43. She had IVF treatments for the second round but the first time she and her husband min maxed their nutrition and she drank some traditional herb tea every morning that supports the menstrual cycle. I think it was milk thistle mostly but I can't tell you if it worked, I just know they tracked their nutrition using cronometer and made sure to be maxed out on vitamins and minerals daily (but not too much too) and after a couple of years of trying their miracle happened.
Good luck to you! I really hope you have your wish come true. Also when you do your pregnancy tests, try to take them in the morning cause your pee and thus the pregnancy hormones within it will be concentrated so it's easier for the test to detect it and will be a quicker result. Also I've been told by some women not to go for the extremely sensitive tests because they will detect fertilized eggs that the body is about to reject too if they detect way too sensitively. I know of a mom who put herself through hell cause she watched 2-3 tests go from positive to negative a few days later followed by a painful period and it hurt her more to discover she'd been pregnant for a day as opposed to getting a negative test from the start. Apparently it's likely a lot of old time "random weirdly painful period" were rejected pregnancies but we were unaware of them until we got very sensitive detection tests. But I'm now rambling, I just hope you get your child one day

Anonymous 118859


Anonymous ## Cleanup crew 118863

Moved to >>>/hb/20943.



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