/feels/ - Advice & Venting

How to deal with constantly having to see women act trashy for men, having to be gaslighted as an individual by women as a collective which is very vile and makes me doubt myself as if I'm a crazy person just making up shit, having to be surrounded with the patriarchy they co create with men especially through heterosexuality, having to see women acting desperate for men, being hated for having self preservation, literally getting mad responses from pickmes, having to live in this society with no community I can connect with and having to suppress my mind and "ignore" the issues aka just… suppress myself to fit them, having to be exposed to constant brainwashing and grooming by male lovers, having to deal with female socialization and being held to higher standards than they hold men to.
It's all just evil, women as a collective oppress individual women, and celibate women who don't want to engage in heterosexuality are seen as controversial and male lovers are threatened by us. I know people will just tell me to "ignore" but I want a community or else I'm a fucking slave in this society. Its hard being an autistic, mentally gnc woman cause other women hate you, not in the way hatred is usually displayed by humans but it's still real. I also feel intellectually suppressed/oppressed in the female socialization and female socialization is also very aggressive. I'm very unique(I know that we all go though the same experience and all human feel the same things, I just resort to seeing myself as unique whenever it's a temporary state or not or even trauma, it just helps me understand what I am in relation with others in the context of this issue here)
Please don't nitpick this cause I'm so tired, it's NOT just about being celibate please understand what I mean cause I've seen male lovers accusing volcel women of basing their worth around the "lack if male presence" in their life "just as male lovers base their worth around male presence". Wtf

How do women find the energy to fake compliments to everyone, leave exaggerated replies under all social media posts of their friends, give over the top reactions in chats? If I try doing that even for 1 day, I know I'm gonna wear myself out but some people just been doing this since school up til university or higher, how do they do it???

I can't find work right now and i am lonely while most people are taking trips around the country or going to europe/jAPAN

I've always had long hair as a kid.

It was pretty much the only thing I liked about myself. Strangers would tell me that they liked how pretty my hair is and ask to touch it. I liked touching it and brushing it so it was neat and soft and felt nice to comb my fingers through.

Anyways.

I shaved it all off one day because I had a mental breakdown in high school. I kept thinking the same things over and over and for whatever reason I thought it'd be funny to remove the only thing I liked about myself.

Suddenly people treat you differently. You start perceiving weird thoughts from others that don't feel good. A random stranger comments that it'd be hilarious if you tripped and fell on your face because their mom's luggage was too large for the hallway and it would've rolled you over.

It's growing out slowly so maybe you will be invisible one day.

You wonder why it mattered so much anyways.

So anyways - it's just having a bad haircut. That's the magic trick. Don't obsess anymore.

Previous thread >>112803

I had this entire week off from uni and I haven't spoken with anyone this week besides my dad. I lost touch with all my old online friends and despite being online 24/7, I've only browsed memes and interacted with nobody. I keep telling myself as a cope that being alone is normal and I should just get comfortable with it but I've been craving a friend so badly :(

I suck really bad at conversations so it's really harder for me to make new friends too

>be me
>dude approaches me in high school
>dude is pretty cool and chill and i enjoyed talking to them
>cool.jpg
>quickly become friends, same-ish humour and music tastes
>friends for about a year
>i get slow ghosted by them one day
>it was one of the most confusing things in the world because i thought we got along well
>they refused to explain why that was
>quickly realize
>they just wanted to befriend me because they didnt get the girl they actually wanted
>the girl they actually wanted was way out of their league anyways
>but the cherry on top was: not only physically, but 500x just as a human being that doesn't fuck and use other people just out of sexual frustration.

this is not an invitation for conversation by the way. honestly this plagued me for years mainly because i wondered why the fuck it bothered me so much. i don't want other women to experience it. i mean, if someone were your friend, why would they ghost you? it was never romantic, it was entirely the fact that someone pretended to like being around you just so they could fuck you quicker because they wanted someone else. in my case, they probably even ghosted once they realized it was never going to happen and got a girlfriend.
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I've never dated before and need to know if this guy showed red flags. I would love any insight at all on any of these. I'm going to list some things he did or said in as close to chronological order as possible. But this all happened over the course of 5 months

1. spent years job hopping/bumming and smoking weed bc he wanted to be a rockstar after dropping out of college
2. got hired by his dad after a few years and moved back home(but works hard tbf)
3. generally just came on strong at the beginning, reading my tarot and saying i look like a saint/goddess
4.
5. told his whole family about me and showed them my pictures after the first meet up
6. told me he loved me the first time we met up, cried when i didn't say it back (i did not take this seriously but told him we could keep talking because he was crying)
7. said he was kind of autistic? (don't care)
8. has a cat (petty of me)
9. told me he liked me because i remind him of his mom while we were having a break up convo
10. would forget information i told him
11. would complain about food at restaurants as we were eating
12. didn't like spending money despite saying he wanted to spoil me
13. told me he felt we were going so slow when i felt he was going pretty fast for an online relationship
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can any fit/muscular nonas help me? i am a recovered ED patient but i still struggle with working out.

i really like the idea of becoming stronger. i have tried to strength train in the past, but faced three main mental barriers that always lead to me quitting early.

>1.
first and foremost, i find it extremely discouraging because of how much more easily men build muscle. they barely have to do any work and in the first few months will gain strength extremely fast. the first time i started working out, i would go to the gym with my boyfriend on his membership. he blew past me in terms of progress, improving at roughly double my rate, until i was left in the dust. i got gradually more upset and quit.

some time later, i started to go the gym again. this time alone, so i wouldn't have anyone else to compare myself to. i went to planet fitness, so i used the smith machine for bench, squats, and deadlifts. i also used the bicep curl machine, free-weights, bar for deadhangs and pullups, pulleys, and treadmill. but i stil felt like i was improving extremely slowly. i wasn't noticing any benefits to strength training; everyday objects weren't noticeably easier to move/carry and i was unhappier with myself than before. at that point i felt like the psychic damage and time investment of 3-4 days/week wasn't worth it. some days i could run farther without stopping but that's about it. it gave me the impression that as a small woman, i'm simply not made to get stronger or build muscle. which makes me feel pretty sad and inferior.

>2.
like i said, i have a history of eating disorders and i'm about 90% recovered (back at a healthy bmi for years and don't restrict/binge). but when i am supposed to eat a lot of protein and be in a calorie surplus, it still fucks me up. i feel like i can see my body get bigger and am afraid that i'll never be able to lose that weight during the cut. i don't idealize thinness anymore, and would like my body to look more toned, muscular, and stronger. i would feel more proud of a having strong body vs. having my current average office-worker body for the rest of my life.

>3.
many people say that exercise improves your mood, but when i go to the gym i just end up feeling pretty bad. i dread going, i don't like feeling the physical pain from running/lifting, and i am disappointed with my performanPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

any nonas here went from fat to skinny? Im currently 30+ bmi and as pathetic as it sounds the only thing that motivates me enough to lose weight is how much better people will treat me especially guys. Have you guys noticed any changes in how guys treat you or how much easier it is to make friends. I have been fat for the last 18 years I cannot believe I am an obese woman. Any advice on how to lose weight while being in college taking a competitive course.