>>87458
The coil is just as bad plus you can’t stop it yourself like the pill.

hoping OP aborted but based on all her arguments against abortion, she seemed like she really wanted to keep it.
another baby in a broken home for the statistics i fear

>>83995
>We both have severe mental health issues, a suicide attempt, and psych ward inpatient history.
get an abortion, that's the responsible thing to do.

>>91654
getting an abortion is taking responsibility. neglecting the child after it's born or giving it away is much worse.

>>83995
are you sure you want to risk p.p depression and psychosis?

nona, I feel your pain. Have you tried getting into radblr? They have a nice community for dysphoric women with some really good advice on managing dysphoria and combatting your internalization of society's hatred of the female form. I was in a similar situation to you once, and I found that feminist "pussy power" "make everything look like a clitoris" etc style body positivity stuff really helped, even though it seemed cheesy. I don't have the time right now but later I think I might come back and post some links to stuff like that. Also try learning about how your female body parts help YOU and serve YOU and not other people. Did you know that your breasts contain vital hormone-producing structures that help keep you healthy? They're not just good for feeding babies or being enjoyed by men, they're helpful to you, too. People don't like talking about women's bodies outside of sex and motherhood though, so if you don't want to have sex with men or be a mom, or you just don't value those things very highly, that might make you have gender dysphoria.
In terms of fashion advice that I have, there was a /butch/ thread on cc a few years ago but it didn't have much fashion advice. Just try wearing masculine clothing made for women or more popular with women. Things like tanktops/wifebeaters, button-ups and hawaiian shirts, suspenders, and sweatervests/turtleneck sweaters are quite nice. They sold some really nice button-up blouses at walmart a while back but they don't have them anymore I think. Butch fashion is definitely very summer-focused kek. If you want to look like you have a masculine body, it's generally better to "fill-in" through padding and layering then to "cut off" through binding and such, more comfortable and better for your health. Try getting some nice jackets and go for looser-fitting clothing to hide your physique. Boxers are also really good for being comfy as all hell and hiding your butt a lil. Also they won't give you wedgies or have the elastic wear out weird. When looking for fashion advice, don't look at mainstream male or female sources, since the male ones will give you dysphoria and exacerbate any tranny tendencies you might have, and the female ones are pretty much exclusively for femmes. If you think you can get a hold of your dysphoria enough though, those resources can be quite good, especially as inspiration for fits or for advice on saving dough while looking clean. Just look at butch women in media and try to copy what tPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>91540
I'll try to look into the radblr community for dysphoric women.
>People don't like talking about women's bodies outside of sex and motherhood though, so if you don't want to have sex with men or be a mom, or you just don't value those things very highly, that might make you have gender dysphoria.
This is a great point, and thank you for the sex ED.
These are most likely a factor on my dysphoria, but I think the biggest part is that I think it looks awkward on my clothes. During sex, I also don't enjoy having my breasts touched very much, I find it a very vulnerable part of my body.
I don't have any problems with my vagina, I like having one, even.
>Just try wearing masculine clothing made for women or more popular with women.
I wear baggy men's clothes only. Mostly sweatpants and cotton graphic tees. I'm a sperg and I don't enjoy fabrics like denim, leather, or wool. I'm in college for comp sci, and I will likely never have to wear a suit in my life.
I use a chest binder that's slightly loose, so I can wear it all day long without bruising or breathing issues.
I've been thinking about buying boxers, I love when pants are big on someone and their boxers' band shows a little. I think it is very attractive.

Thank you for your detailed response. I will try to look for an FTM guide to dressing or something similar, to get a boxier shape.

Do you think it could be a form of body dysmorphia or OCD like intrusive thoughts?

>>91663
That's entirely possible. Although I doubt it's lated to OCD (there's neither obsession nor compulsion.) I dislike it aesthetically and find it bothersome, but it's not something I think about 24/7.

I'm the same and in highschool used to double up the sports bras to get as flat as possible (despite already being almost flat, like you). For me it's definitely the oversexualizatuon of breasts (I hate being sexualized in any way that makes me the object of desire instead of a subject who acts on someone else), as well as that I feel it makes me look fat. I struggled with weight for years and it has been instilled in me to see being fat as one of the greatest moral wrongs, even if I'm ironically attracted to women who are a bit chubby and don't project this onto them.

I still struggle with this, but lately I've been trying to desexualize breasts for myself. Following artists depicting neutral female nudity and painting such things myself has helped a little.

Female secondary sex characteristics may make us less human in the eyes of men but it doesn't have to be like this to ourselves. It's difficult to internalize that you're not a sex object just for having breasts and hips, but we'll get there anon. I'm sure of it.

>>5154
While most men don't watch things that extreme, it's still true that they've gotten desensitized. Just look at the average porn video, that's already a bit too extreme.

>go relatively porn free for a year (meaning I drew my own and look at nudes, but didn't get off to or watch videos)
>fetishes still continue to get more violent and gross
Why? It can't be the drawing since that's still my imagination.
My taste with women has at least vanilla-ed out (thank goodness), but in regards to men it's gotten heaps more degenerate this year.
I know I'm inherently into GFD since I fantasized about it before porn, but I've recently gotten intofeet, anal prolapse, vomit, amputation, and fisting, things I'd watched out of curiosity before but not gotten off to.

I've also relapsed a bit, but I'm no longer spending hours looking at it and also haven't watched any featuring women. I'm not sure how I'm doing, really.

>>14141
>vomit
Sounds pretty hot.

>>14145
It is, but that's kind of the problem.

>>14141
I don't watch porn, but I'm kinda the same with you when it comes to men and women. It's probably because men are shit as a group, so the anger crept into my sexuality. I notice I have the worst most aggressive fantasies when I'm in a low/bad mood, is it the same for you?

>>90324
You could also get a job stocking things at night at big retailers… that way yu don't have to do a whole lot with people. God fuck your parents I hope you're alright

>>90250
>fluttershy pic
tranny?
>expecting a moid to save you
you do realize he's either going to just be super avoidant and jerk you around and resent you for being remotely vulnerable or he's going to take advantage of your vulnerabilities and mindfuck you worse than your parents ever could, right?

You need to dump your stoned loser boyfriend, get a job (not sex work), and move out with roommates. You could probably work some min wage retail shit, save up, do a 2-year community college degree in programming or business admin or some shit, and then get a real job.

> When I was a child I have my an imaginary mom that was blonde & skinny and was chill

Also stop being racist.

>>90397
>Also stop being racist.
dafuq?

>>90400
Why would a blonde mom be better than any other mom? I mean, white people get divorced at the drop of a hat, so if anything blonde moms are probably shittier. Moid-brained eurocentric beauty standards creeping into OP's assessment of what makes a good parent.

>>90406
>When I was a child I have my an imaginary mom that was blonde & skinny and was chill and relax that would give me sitcom end of episode life lessons she was the was the sheer opposite of my real mom

I'm assuming she was saying that her real mom was not blonde and not skinny and not chill so her 'opposite mom' is blonde and skinny and chill. What radfemtwt does to the brain…

write about how it can be propagated and grown and if it's ever been farmed at all?

Try becoming a funny person, it's easier then you think. Going out of your way to feel helpful to others and be more caring can reaaly be good for self-esteem. Having low self esteem is not a death sentence though, I have it too. Try finding something you are passionate ebout. Can be literally anything. then focus on that over your own self. being occupied with work, school, and hobbies gives you less time and energy to waste hating yourself.

If I try my best to be kind in this world, then I'm doing better than a lot of people and have nothing to worry about. Even if I'm cringe and not the best at the things I do, whatever. At least I mean well.
Also consider that you'll always have you, anon. You have to love her (you) because she's all you have.
>>91344
>>91355
These are also correct.

>>91333

Physical attractiveness (Yes, I know people are going to say that is wrong but it is well-known life is easier for physically attractive people.) and intelligence (I've been called retarded and treated like a retard more than a few times at this point). Also money, because fuck you money is a thing after all. I once left a job where people treated me like shit, only after a few months, because I didn't really need it that much in the first place. lmao

>>89730
Yeah, I've been getting more sleep for the past week and it's like night and day. I'm way more productive and wake up before my alarm instead of needing three.

My husband has also been adjusting his schedule so we can both get more sleep. It's hard because his mother also has bizarre sleep hours because she takes pain killers and some other mystery medication along with energy drinks. She has no regard for others and will constantly wake up myself my husband, or my husband's grandmother at 2am to talk about shit tgat is not time sensitive and could easily wait. It's worse for my husband because is mother will start screaming at his grandmother pretty much every day when he is trying to sleep.

At least now that I'm getting proper sleep I can help with chores I'm also on top of things at work again.

Looking forward to coming back to this thread in a few years and seeing OP relapse a few times, continuing the circle of leaving and coming back. You will waste away your remaining years of youth on this jobless psycho, and when you will finally leave him (maybe when you're 35, maybe 40), you will realize that there is so much more to live for. Good luck abused nona, hope you will come to your senses.

I hope she’s doing okay

>>89760
I wanna shit on your husband's mom but at the same time I know she's another abused woman to the point of insanity. However that doesn't excuse her actions. Given that she's so hopped up on shit, I'm not surprised she acts incomprehensible towards you and her son. Like, no wonder her kid has clinical OCD to the point of harming himself and those around him (you).

God. I relate to you, not directly but with some of the stuff you've encountered. How have things been anyway? I've not been the nonas in the last two years in this thread, but I do want to know how you've been dealing with these problems since.

>>90272
I'm doing okay. I stopped drinking and found other outlets to deal with my stress.

We are trying to move but haven't decided on a place yet.

>>91196
She has been through a lot of real shit, which I recognize. But she is also a manipulative person who has never held a full time job and has always relied on others. She has symptoms of BPD and has bipolar-like depressive/manic states. She also has fibromyalgia.

Lately her family realized she had been mooching off her mother while my husband and I take care of her and they've been putting pressure on her. So she has actually been helpful lately. But she always wants something in return and it's exhausting.

minus the tranny part, i was also a severe aspie while growing up, with my own fantasy world on my head. i also went batshit insane when my ex bf left me to run away from our country, and i like to make multiple accounts with different personalities on social media

I wish it was someone edgier like Cait.

>>91149
We are twins

never related to a character more before

>>91389
I'm her but where is my bus?

I only had one male friend in my life and I always wished for him to be a woman. Its cool to have a male friend until you find out that someone who means so much to you has just been viewing you as a sexual object rather than a human being all along. Or maybe my personality was just too bland to care for lol

>>90414
>takes pictures of you during group outings

Get the fuck out! Now!

>>90898
I think that she meant that he offers to take pictures? Would be pretty creepy if he was taking creepshots.

I'm going to be staying with a guy friend for a few nights this week. We've been friends for 5+ years and I never got even an inkling that he was attracted to me so I feel like I can trust him. He also has other platonic female friends, so I know that he's capable of having regular friendships with women and being normal. Even still, I feel pretty nervous about it. It's not that I'm afraid for my safety or anything, but more that I've never stayed over at a guy's place for that long. I didn't think much of it, but now that it's coming up I'm starting to get nervous about sharing a space with a guy for that long and not even one that I'm attracted to kek. Anyway I'm just trying to treat it like if I were staying over at one of my female friends' places and I'm excited to hang out and catch up. If it ends up being a horrible mistake I guess you can expect another post from me next week.

The only man I consider a friend is a guy I've never met in person and probably never will. We met in a random online chatroom when we were younger, it was surprising that we were so close in age so we clicked fast. We're pretty close and have a lot of the same interests so we talk a lot, but I feel like an online friendship is the most I can take with a guy. I'm so wary of a guy getting the wrong idea that I'm either standoffish enough that we don't get super friendly or I really up the "one of the guys" bro behavior (as if that would make them not see me as a woman kek).
though the looks on their faces when i tell guys i'm a lesbian is usually very amusing lol, that's usually how I can tell some moid thought he had a shot with me.
(I kind of consider my roommate's boyfriend my friend because we get along and he's a well adjusted individual, but I don't think he counts because we only interact when he's hanging out in our apt with her lol.)