/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Are you a copycat? Have you ever stolen aspects of another girl's personality, interests or fashion sense on purpose to be more like them?

If I told anyone this in real life, they'd probably think I was bizarre, but i want to get it off my chest. To be honest most of my personality now and my likes and dislikes and interests were stolen from a girl who's blog I used to read 3-4 years ago. She wasn't anyone e-famous but I just stumbled across her and somehow I became obsessed. I cyberstalked her all over the internet and I started listening to every band she posted about, watching every movie, posting things with the same sense of humor and going over her selfies for aesthetic details every time she posted them so I could try my best to copy her style. I've never spoken to her openly but I used to send her all sorts of anon messages so I could find out things about her to better emulate them. Eventually I stopped stalking her accounts as much and lost track of her online profiles as she would change names a lot. Recently I checked back to find she was completely different now, and in my opinion much less interesting. I'm still basically a reflection of her from 4 years ago, and I'm fairly comfortable with it all still even though it sounds quite creepy when I type it out. Most people who know me now weren't really around in my life 4 years ago, and they have no idea that almost everything about me is copied from some random girl online i've never even properly spoken to. I still use some of her dead aliases as screen names (don't worry, only as nicknames on places she would never be able to see or be disturbed by if she did find me). Am I alone in this? is anyone else this creepy?

Has anyone here had emotional numbness from antipsychotics and got their emotions back once you switched to different antipsychotics? Is it possible?

What if the antipsychotic i wanted to go on was one from years ago that didnt mess with my emotions?
Would it still work? or not?

I'm half mexican half white but i have a goblin black-tier nose and tan skin. I was thinking about getting a nose job and bleaching my skin after i lose some weight

Pic related is the ideal look I'm going for, I kind of feel guilty for wanting this. Does this mean I have internalized racism? or does it mean I just want to be more attractive.. idk

How do I cope with being an unstable mess? I'm paranoide, see and hear things that aren't even there and have terrible moodswings.

I honestly feel like someone just scrambled every mental defect in a blender and injected it straight into my dna.

I'm so terrified of being alone, which I am. But also feel so guilty for whoever would be with me because I'd become such a giant burden.

Has it happened to you?

Last thread was >>45059 vent your worries and frustrations

HOW do I find female roommates I'm about to join the fucking military soon if I can't find a place to live

My bf has started seeming like he is depressed for the last few months. He said he is sad, hates himself, feels disgusting, and has for the last year or so. He seldom hugs or kisses me anymore and never wants to do anything. He doesn't even seem to like it much when I do it.

Not only that, but if I ask him to pick something for dinner he says "I don't know". He can't even pick an ingredient. Apart from washing the dishes everyday and buying what I tell him to, he doesn't do any housework. I study full time, work almost full time, and now it feels like I have to take on the entire household, especially the mental load. He only works full time.

It's not just that he is sad but mean too. He also complains we don't have sex but twice told me sex was boring so I'm not interested anymore. Having so much mental load is a turn off too.

He manages to work ok and is normal when talking to other people, though that doesn't happen much. It's only me he is depressed around.

I know it sounds like we should just break up, but I don't have anywhere else to live, especially with corona. I don't get on with my family and I don't think flights are even open here yet if I did want to go back to my country. I don't speak the local language so I can't just find a local place to stay.

I kinda just want to stop trying and ignore him but that feels more lonely than if I were alone. Being constantly rejected is awful too.

I really don't know what to do. I'm not a fan of therapy (it feels like there is a third person in the relationship) or anti-depressants (they don't solve the problem, just make the feelings go away) so I don't want to recommend that he tries them.

I never really posted on here, just lurked but I am desperate enough to finally ask for some help and advice.
I have been e-dating a boy (i hate LDRs but he is really special and we are meeting soon and I actually wanna spend my life with him), I love him and he says he loves me. Kind of awhile ago I found a post he made about his ex where he mentions her tits and he says he misses them. She has big tits, and of course, I don’t. I really wanted to feel better and asked him about it and he admitted he does miss big tits and that he prefers them.
I have never been insecure about my tits before but this just destroyed me. I feel so undesirable and ugly and I feel embarrassed that I even had the audacity to show him my tits or send him nudes. I feel gross. He does not even care, he just gets mad at me for being upset about this. I don’t what to do or how to feel better I keep thinking about it, I am literally turning brain dead. Talking to him was unironically the only thing that made me feel better since I dropped out of school and don’t really leave my room anymore. The worst part is that I found his ex’s social media and she is very pretty and of course has giant tits. Not like big or medium, literally giant. Even if I tried to get big tits, they could definitely not get that big, I am too skinny. How do I feel better?

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