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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

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Anonymous 119882[Reply]

Is it based to cut contact if you have strong feelings, so you don't compromise for just friendship?

Anonymous 119944

No, the only thing that will save us is love.

Anonymous 119947

>>119944
Thank you.

Anonymous 119949

He will indeed do what is just

Anonymous 120008

Yes, you don't want the same things and you'd be wasting your time and love on someone who doesn't want you. Hold yourself to a higher standard.



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Dating again after a known artist Anonymous 119937[Reply]

I don't want to give away too much here, and I'm here just to vent or the smallest chance someone here has or is going through the same thing.

My soul feels crushed every time I open my phone, and see his face, or music attached to someone's post and It's nearly impossible to avoid elsewhere especially that he's the artist of the moment, to also see online that there are women talking about wanting to sleep with him, or get his attention really pissed me off especially at the beginning of the breakup, what is most hard, and I feel so terrible for doing this, is that I've got caught up in a new relationship. I can say I've moved on, but I don't even know if this is right for me. To be with an artist since he was even known as someone, to have known him before fan pages, or people tweeting his music. My new boyfriend is the complete opposite, I've not only lost my muse, but my new boyfriend isn't as power thirsty and ambitious that he were, and I don't know if it's what I need, or what is stopping me as I also have my goals and ambitions. I don't want to compare, and with this short thread you can automatically feel sorry and think I am shitty for being in a relationship with my new boyfriend, but I promise I love him a lot, but it's eating me up inside that I see my ex's face everywhere, knowing that I was supposed to be standing up with him, and he would support me from the side. It's like our chemistry was so good together, but being with a partner with the complete opposite interests, and no ambitions like this is just making me feel like I'm just like my mother who quit everything because of my dad, and I don't want to be held back from my own goals.


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Anonymous 119780[Reply]

i literally cant maintain sexual attraction to men i am into romantically. its like a madonna whore complex for girls i h8 it so bad man. i can only love a man when i have a desire to protect him but i only feel arousal for a man when i want to ruin him :<< i only rly had sexual attraction to my most recent ex when we argued or when i was just mad at him

Anonymous 119799

>>119784
>being repulsed by a guy
That's the exact opposite of the problem she described.
She said:
>i only rly had sexual attraction to my most recent ex when we argued or when i was just mad at him
Now, imagine someone who has sexual attraction triggered specifically by shitty and abusive behavior. Is that person going to avoid shitty and abusive people and situations that make them mad? Is that person going to take every bit as much care with their personal relationships to select only people who are good for them and heckin wholesome adequate frienderinos? In real life?

Anonymous 119800

>>119799
thank you yes i was not sure how to explain better 2 that nona

Anonymous 119935

>>119780
I have similar problem, I will only want to have sex with a man once, even if I'm in a romantic relationship with them. I only get aroused by them once, and I cannot get turned on again afterwards, it sucks because it ruins my sex life – But instead I pretend I'm horny, and it usually makes me a little bit wet during but I never ever get horny first after the first time :sob:



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Bullying and body dysmorphia Anonymous 110205[Reply]

There don't seem to be many threads about eating disorders and I wanted to know if there were more nonas with similar experiences.
First of all I am going to clarify that I am not pro-ana, I wish I could eat normally but I have had anorexia since I left high school. During school my "friends" used to call me fat (actually at that time I was a little fat and I wore glasses and my face was childish) but it still hurts me, they also used to call me ugly and autistic for being shy. I used to skip gym classes a lot because I was afraid of receiving comments, one time I was running like everyone else but when I finished, one of them came up to me to tell me that I sweat like a pig.
Other times at lunchtime some boys made pig noises as they passed and looked at me.
I wish I could leave that behind, but even though I am underweight now, my intentions to continue losing weight increase along with the fact that I no longer look in the mirror often and I hate seeing myself in photos.

Anonymous 119891

I can't stop eating fast food. It makes me feel like shit, gain weight, and it doesn't even taste good. idk how to stop

Anonymous 119919

>>110205
so real. I've been binging/purging since I was like ten. can't even remember when I last felt comfortable in my body. even when you're a healthy weight the thoughts never stop



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I will always be the old person I was Anonymous 119890[Reply]

I have had difficulties in my childhood even until now because of my mental human condition. Everyone knows me me as the child who had insane periodic outbursts at periods and no one feels safe around me. I was always paranoid about my digital footprint, but people have archived some of them and people have found it. I used to say hateful or shocking things, and do them to "fit" in because I never had a community and these seemed like the only people willing to accept me. People have found these footprints.

I have nowhere to be. Rather, there is no place that needs me. Even if I change, there is still this person that I used to be that has undoubtedly affected other people negatively. Everything I've done has brought some sort of hardship.

It's not enough to just change and be a better person. I will die

Anonymous 119956

hey anon are you still there

Anonymous 119960

>>119890
i feel like there is 2 sides to this story, on one hand your mental dis-regulation and on the other is the modern internet's sense of self righteousness and purity spiraling where changing for the better is not welcome since they need to pat themselves on the back with the whole at least i am not that, the only way out for you is start using obscure forums and message boards(like this one) and almost dead websites and avoid ''political'' people like the plague other way is to start going to the most outdoor activities you can find since overly online people do not like that



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YOU SAY. NO. Anonymous 119583[Reply]

Everyone has. The right. To privacy.

When you go to an educational institution, it IS expected that your faculty and school administration is being HONEST about how they are interacting with your online data, and who YOU are.

When Apple says they share their user data for "relevant educational services," but FAILS to elaborate on what exactly those relevant educational services ARE, PRECISELY, YOU SAY. NO.

It is not, in fact, fucking normal, to go to school and feel like you are being spied on for experimental purposes, of which you have no clear idea about. It is NOT NORMAL to start receiving emails, from a school administration or company, that entail some broader """"MEANING"""" that you are NOT comfortable with.

IT IS NOT NORMAL TO LIVE IN FEAR.

It's not normal to feel emotionally manipulated into something you don't want to happen. It's not normal to feel like you are being lied to.

When media giants like Disney and Netflix start making shows and movies that seem, EXTREMELY, UNCOMFORTABLY relevant to your experience in real life, YOU SAY. NO. When companies like Amazon and Apple start coincidentally using the phrase, "Stay Connected," in a period in which everyone around you seems paranoid of their online and REAL LIFE privacy - YOU SAY. NO. When Youtube starts recommending shit that seems like THEY ARE LITERALLY WATCHING YOU, block these videos. WATCH SOMETHING ELSE.

YOU SAY. NO. You are not something to be controlled. That's not normal. This is in fact something that happens, and you are not crazy for feeling like this is not how you interact with actual, living humans. You are not wrong for feeling gaslit.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 119619

Sometimes the right to restrict use of your data is a wall-in contract. Meaning that they allow you to seal your record, but only once you are already inside. You're probably already familiar with the computer operating system style where you have options that you can opt into after clicking that you agree to EULA away your identity and sign away your right to lawsuit in an agreement to arbitration, and then Windows Update takes away half of those privacy-enhancing options and puts copilot on your desktop. But normal professional software (e.g. photoshop), televisions, cars and even refrigerators now come with post-agreement manual opt out privacy options that can only be digitally agreed with after you have already agreed to the terms of service allowing the vendor to collect, harvest, analyze and make commercial use of all available data, which in the case of softwares with kernel level antipiracy/anticheating protections mean all of your data period. These initial agreements increasingly require you to opt in to legal updates allowing the vendor to apply post-agreement changes to their terms of use and terms of service.

For all that these companies value the data they collect their reliability in terms of securing said valuables against criminals is questionable.
https://www.csoonline.com/article/3631055/volkswagen-massive-data-leak-caused-by-a-failure-to-secure-aws-credentials.html
But it will surely be generally secured against the users from whom it was harvested.

Anonymous 119728

>>119617
>deleting netflix
based
>>119619
they should doxx me then. freedom of speech and the ability to decentralize is more important than some random college thinking they ought to impose their beliefs unto others.
funnily enough their social hazing only made me feel more racist and sexist in a way that's legitimately harmful. people who can't tell memes from real life are cancer. if all else fails scream at them for being authoritarian, not transparent, and extremely invasive of people's privacy and right to decentralize, aka not be indoctrinated into a cult that doesn't really give a shit about you.
this was at a california public university called cal poly and I use mostly Apple devices. funnily enough, Apple just got into a lawsuit doing something similar with their employees. i shouldn't have to crawl through pages upon pages of user privacy rights to figure out whether or not I need to make my own damn Internet devices. it's definitely a form of entrapment.

Anonymous 119748

who cares about any of this we're not living in a cyberpunk dystopia yet, right?

Anonymous 119876

they can see:

your browsing history
chat messages
pics

everything

Anonymous 119879

>>119876
also

they stalk you online. interact with you, online. i literally went fucking insane and they just did nothing and gaslit me about me being stalked.

i had my email doxxed on 4chan and their way of handling it was akin to a group of adult bullies with a high pay grade.

the only reason my shit was obvious is because i use imageboards.

they lull you into a false sense of security and then weaponize whatever bit of vulnerability you gave to them.

so yeah. thats the year 2025. literally just adult bullying abstracted behind ideological vigilantism, woke shit, and identity politics.



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What now? Anonymous 119395[Reply]

A few months ago I was diagnosed with BPD. And more recently PTSD.

It's nice to have answers. For over a decade I thought the brain fog I felt was due to malnutrition or something, but apparently it's because of depersonalization. That's just one example of many things.

I don't know very much about BPD. Every time it comes up in conversation it's either in reference to someone's abusive ex or as an insult.

Of course I crave love and intimacy. I've never been in a relationship before. I've never even had anyone ask me out. I have a lot of very complicated, very mood-swing-ey feelings about that. I feel like I'm almost trying to find shitty things about the human race to make me hate being around people, so that it hurts less to be alone. I think it's working. Right now I'm in a state of mind where I feel fine being alone. I'd rather be alone than risk hurting the people I love.

Anonymous 119733

You can't make everyone happy

Anonymous 119782

I would say the next step would to probably go to a therapist to work on managing overwhelming emotions and thoughts. As well as addressing any issues stemming from your trauma. Just try to be open and honest with yourself and be receptive to change.

Good luck, try not to forget about the good people <3 (but still be mindful of the bad ones)

Anonymous 119878




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Anonymous 118687[Reply]

besides suicide what are my options if I hate myself so much that I am unable to function. What will help. Meds have not helped.
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 118818

>>118813
YES I was worried deadlifts would make me mannish but I have a bubble butt and thick thighs instead. I feel powerful.

Anonymous 119805

>>118687
try getting off the meds, I know this is super controversial but medicine keeps us sick, some meds really do help in certain circumstances but it seems they just push a bunch of stuff on you if you feel slightly bothered by anything

Anonymous 119810

>>118687
What do you hate about yourself?

Anonymous 119871

>>118687
You might be feeling trapped in negative self-talk. I would recommend speaking kindly to yourself and celebrating any bit of progress you make, it has helped me a lot to do that. Also, spending time outdoors helps no matter how shitty you feel.

Anonymous 119875

I'm like this too, I have no idea hpw to fix it and I just dwell on the past, future and present. The only thing that stops it is trying to focus on other things and that's temporary. Maybe I should rot my brain with meds, I don't know



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Anonymous 119842[Reply]

When was the last time you went out on a date and how was it?
11 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 119862

>>119861
>Bf is in the military

What is it like to date a military man?

Anonymous 119863

On the weekend. We met during the week when I was in a student bar and he saw a sticker for a conference on my laptop and just asked me if I'd been. We ended up talking for about an hour on climate and soil science, then he asked for my number. He has no social media outside of academic and linkedin, so it was a bit of a crapshoot, but we went to an archery range, which was fun, then he bought churros and hot chocolate to have while he walked through a park with views over the city. I think he started talking to me because he was just trying to network, but he seems quite nice so I think we're going to have a dinner date this weekend.

Anonymous 119864

>>119859
Pardon, but meet you moid in private too, I don't want to see ugly males on streets

Anonymous 119872

>>119864
I don't want to see ugly women on the streets either but you keep walking outside lol

Anonymous 119874

>>119872
Said ugly moid



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Anonymous 119865[Reply]

I hate men so much omg 😭 I need a safe space to cleanse myself from all men (except George Michael's discography). I have an event later today that will require me to be around the same white cookie cutter men for the nth time and I want to rip my hair out I'm so tired of this bs
:((((((( I refuse to go to this event sober (but for legal reasons I will be raw dogging this required event)

It's just me and Freedom! 90 - Remastered against the world. Please pray for me and send me the most healing feminine energy so I can survive

Anonymous 119870

My parents took me to see George Michael and it was awful.



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