yesterday I stole a Triazolam blister from my grandparents' house. I had terrible anxiety today and so I took it. When my bf found out and made me admit it he forced me to toss every pill in the toilet and seemed upset. I think he's overreacting, saying that those drugs are very dangerous and easy to abuse. He did the say thing when a month ago something similar happen and I stole Ambien (I didn't get to take it then) saying it was even more dangerous. He also says these drugs dont actually solve anxiety and mak things worse, and I cant self medicate by taking this without a valid reason and a doctor. This made me very upset and I think he's overreacting, am I in the wrong?

I think im a genetic defect and that i cant escape this fate. There is nothing good or conventional about me and the way my mind works. The only way to control my intrusive thoughts is with meds that deteriorate my brain and/or through dissociating. I wish i wasnt myself but someone else completely whos physically wired a different way. How do i start believing in free will? Every time i look in the mirror i am reminded that i cant change these physical qualities.

I just can't shake off the feeling that everyone can tell when it's me posting, and chooses to ignore me or secretly make fun of me on this website.
I can't post without think everyone is saying
>there she goes again, that idiot! when will she shut up? she has no clue we know!
It's not limited to CC, I get this feeling in other chans/disc*rd too, but here it's particularly strong. I'm sure there has to be some kind of marking I can't see that everyone else can, to differentiate me from other posters without me knowing. Especially with some particular posts made in this site, they seem to be directed to me in a very mean and mock-y way.
IDK, I just feel sad because I really want to get along with you all, and I can't help feeling self conscious knowing none really likes me.

Attention all neurodivergents!

You are some of the most lovely, interesting people there is to meet. Your presence is like a color splash in an otherwise dull and gray world full of normies. Your inability to follow trite social norms and unwritten rules makes every conversation more interesting. You make the world infinitely less boring to live in. Without you, everyone would just be boring machines that have been conditioned into a dull social mould. Whenever I meet one of you, I absolutely love hearing you ramble about some niche interest and carefully observe your aberrant body language. It will always be the highlight of my day. You are beautiful, amazing, chaotic individuals and I love every single one of you.

That's it. That's what I wanted to say. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Post any sister things!

Mine is that I've often wanted to tell my younger sister about this site but I'm not sure how she'd react, god forbid she found lolcow. Would you show your sisters this site?

i am in a relationship where i feel deeply unsatisfied at times. i feel that my boyfriend can lack patience, discretion, and doesn’t pay enough attention to me. he talks to other women on apps for sexting purposes but i don’t feel included (it turns me on in a way i don’t really understand yet). maybe he’s scared or something because i’m the type of girl to freak out about my own feelings. i’m really shit at processing them because i’m a pretty judgmental and lazy person. we have conversations and we do have fun. we are deeply compatible. he’s important to me. i just feel burnt out and he told me he doesn’t miss me. but then he tells me he misses me once i am ready to leave and spend time with my dad. i can tell he’s sick of me and that i’m not wanted. i know he loves me though. i need to just get away from him for a while. but not for too long because i promised him to help him with setting up his bed and make him a pie. i’ve spent so much time with him. i don’t want to cheat on him or anything like that. sometimes i feel resentment and would like to scream for a while, but i really do love him. a lot of my problems come from my own insecurities. he called me a loser when we first started dating and i haven’t forgotten that. he also called me a pet. he doesn’t want that, of course. i don’t have friends i see anymore. my interactions are parasocial and are with men. i struggle with following directions because i have pride issues (like using a dishwasher right, using correct form in yoga, and at worst: holding a job). i’m terrified of other women and they make me cry. i’m unhappy with myself, which makes me unhappy with others. i’ll be 25 next year and i still want to be a hatsune miku/chi from chobits/whatever anime character i’m larping archetype. it can get cringe when i think too much about it, but anime has influenced me heavily in life. i’ve isolated myself for too long. i wish i could jump off from somewhere and crack my head open, but i know deep down i have potential to be whatever i want to be. life genuinely excites me when i stop being anal about everything. how do you let go of being in control and balance that with being self-reliant? that’s so hard for me. it’s like either i’m in deep control or i’m completely off the grid and rotting in my mom’s living room, vicariously living through anime openings from the mid 2000s. maybe i just have to believe in myself and just subscribe to to the pressures of society: “glowing up”, getting a job, and Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Feel like if my parents were normal and competent enough, they would and should have had my older sister killed at birth or awhile ago. She’s 32 and has the brain function of a child and mentality of a child, I don’t know if it’s narcissisism per say, but my older sister just only thinks of herself and is also very guillible. She didn’t graduate highschool due to being placed in “special classes” which she said she hated because she felt stupid. She has been diagnosed with a learning disability a long time ago but I’m not sure what, ontop of that she has a deteriorating health condition that essentially immobilizes her arm movement and sometimes she can’t even get out of bed.
She’s also suicidal or used to be, i don’t think anymore but idk, I think she would wanna die more that anything

I was never a “normal weight girl” or “skinny girl” I’m over it but I wish I could be a healthy weight for once. Ive been struggling with my body weight since I was 5. I was told by many doctors I was a “morbidly obese child who’s at risk of diabetes type 2” which I really was. My mother tells me I used to binge eat eat as a child and chug bottles of 2 litre Pepsis and eat whole boxes of Oreos to myself when I arrived home from school. Can’t even look at photos of myself as a child (for various reasons, but the weaker reason being I was a morbidly obese child) I had to wear boys clothes all the time because cute girl clothes never fit me, I felt so disgusting. But essentially it doesn’t matter, so I endured all the pain and suffering for nothing. I’m 23 now and I’ve lost 60 lbs, but it’s not saying much since I still have some stubborn fat in places I really hate (like my upper arms) my waist became quite small, but I have hated my upper arms for how fat they are for eternity. I’ll also add its not about guys, I’m asexual and a dick is the last thing on my mind, companionship would be nice though. It’s about me, it’s about feeling something I never got to feel, which is skinny or healthy.

I'm half mexican half white but i have a goblin black-tier nose and tan skin. I was thinking about getting a nose job and bleaching my skin after i lose some weight

Pic related is the ideal look I'm going for, I kind of feel guilty for wanting this. Does this mean I have internalized racism? or does it mean I just want to be more attractive.. idk