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Long Distance Relationships Anonymous 44204[Reply]

Thread to discuss Long Distance Relationships. The struggles, the pros… meeting the person for the first time… meeting them for the 50th time… vent both sad and happy things. LDRs can be quite a challenge but it's the right thing for some people.
9 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 44257

I've been "e-dating" a guy for 6 months now, we can't meet for obvious reasons (different countries & covid) and I don't want to declare it a real relationship until after we've met and confirmed feelings in person, but we are exclusive and committed. Waiting sucks.

Anonymous 44357

>>44257
>but we are exclusive and committed
So you're dating and just don't want to say it

Anonymous 44697

I have just recently been "e-dating" with a friend I have been talking constantly for almost a year. We've always liked each other since the first time we talked but just hit it off lately after so many months of hesitation to confess our feelings for each other. I remember I always had moments thinking if he was flirting but at the same time shook the idea off as I didn't want to fall for someone who sleeps at the time I wake up and wakes up at the time I'm off to sleep. I honestly see him as the ideal partner I've been looking for in a guy. He ticks off the ideal partner list just as easily but distance is a bitch. I love him but I know I can't be looking at this optimistically. I just hope if we ever "break up", we can stay as friends-I find our connection that irreplaceable.

Anonymous 44702

cat on le laptop.j…

>>44697
no matter what happens your feelings arent a mistake, as long as you two get on and are on good terms you'll be able to remain friends despite what happens

Anonymous 44882

>>44357
>>44257
Hate to say I've been in a similar situation but until I'm somebody's girlfriend, I was talking to others until they actually wanted to put a label on it. If you're not doing it, he's doing it.



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Anonymous 44862[Reply]

Can we talk about depression cliches?

Does depression seem to be more common these days? Is it because people are less likely to force themselves just to get on with things? Or is it that people are more open about how they feel?

Does improving exercise/eating better/fixing sleep schedule etc actually work? Or are people right when they say it's brain chemistry and you need medication? Can you actually think yourself better by improving your mindset? Is it more important to solve the issues causing your depression instead of numbing your feelings?

Is there a level of privilege associated with depression and being able to do nothing? Can someone struggling to make ends meet in a third world country really suffer depression in the same way as someone in a first world country with a parental safety net?

I'm genuinely curious and not trying to lead the conversation either way.

Anonymous 44863

>>44862
>Does depression seem to be more common these days? Is it because people are less likely to force themselves just to get on with things? Or is it that people are more open about how they feel?
I feel like one of the biggest reason why depression is more common now is because people are being more open about it. They're not as afraid of it. They are still coming with newer and better ways of treating depression. Life doesn't have to be you suffer then just die.

>Does improving exercise/eating better/fixing sleep schedule etc actually work? Or are people right when they say it's brain chemistry and you need medication? Can you actually think yourself better by improving your mindset? Is it more important to solve the issues causing your depression instead of numbing your feelings?

This is complicated and there is no single answer for them all. It honestly depends on the person. Some people do need medication and some people can manage just fine without medication. Depression can be environmental or seasonal and then it can last for year and years and get worst. A lot of people would like to blame depression on their life situations and that is a strong factor, but there's been cases where someone's life got better and they still have depression. Sometimes people need medication to function and handle a daily life without breaking down and avoiding the problem. And some people are fine with exercise and vitamins. Like I said there is no one answer fits all. To think that is manipulative, abusive and severely underestimating mental illness.

>Is there a level of privilege associated with depression and being able to do nothing? Can someone struggling to make ends meet in a third world country really suffer depression in the same way as someone in a first world country with a parental safety net?

I can't say for other countries, I grew up in a first world. I don't know about that parent thing. I know you can be classified disabled if your depression is bad enough. You can qualify for disabled bucks. Like I said we are improving our treatments on mental health. More programs are becoming available. There are some websites that offer therapy sessions. Although health insurance is a disaster and you have to fight tooth and nail to get all the right doctoPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 44865

_plebs.png

Strong men, good times, weak men, bad times, etc. Taking into account global wealth averages, middle-class people kill themselves more than any other group. These people really do not have issues in the grand scheme of things, yet they let themselves indulge in issues which really should not concern them. Most of the suffering people choose to put themselves into, basically, emotional prostitution that could otherwise quite easily be avoided. This is especially true for young people, and the most so for young women. Compared to the rest of history, things have literally never been better. And yet, there are people in America that have been rioting for over a hundred days. I could see someone argue in good faith that the people with the issues these days are in fact the issues themselves.

TL;DR: Moral Relativism

Anonymous 44867

>>44865
I mean honestly, a lot of it is textbook abuse.
>it's your fault
>if you do this I'll love you again
>if you you don't do this I won't love you anymore
It's really not that hard to pluck peoples' strings.

Anonymous 44874

>>44862
>Does depression seem to be more common these days? Is it because people are less likely to force themselves just to get on with things? Or is it that people are more open about how they feel?
It is more commonly diagnosed these days definitely. Whether that means more people are depressed than ever before, or that medical circles are becoming more aware of the already existing population can be debated.

>Does improving exercise/eating better/fixing sleep schedule etc actually work?

Work to what? Cure it? No. Does it make all types of depression easier to handle? Always. Every single time.
>Or are people right when they say it's brain chemistry and you need medication?
Depression covers a range of mental illnesses, it isn't just one. Certain varieties may have chemical based underpinnings that are impossible to face without medication. Don't trust anyone to say someone else's brain chemistry itself is fucked up until they actually test it. The answer is, yes and no, it depends on whether or not your depression is actually chemically depressed as opposed to more common varieties.
>Can you actually think yourself better by improving your mindset?
Again, remembering that depression is a wide range as opposed to one single type of mental illness, certain varieties could be fixed with a shift in mindset, this is what most therapy attempts to do. Teach coping patterns and methods to be meta cognitively aware. More could be fixed with general lifestyle changes. Very few literally require chemical intervention.
>Is it more important to solve the issues causing your depression instead of numbing your feelings?
Someone numbing their feelings is a symptom of depression, so no, making themselves more depressed is not going to help them stop feeling as depressed. If instead you meant "Is it more important to solve the issues causing your depression instead of [coping with the depression]?" and to that I say, being depressed in the general sense is caused by friction between mindset and lifestyle, while it simultaneously interrupts your ability to fix these problems (why it's considered a mental illness). You're not going to cope or even hopefully eliminate your depression withouPost too long. Click here to view the full text.



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Anonymous 43057[Reply]

My husband of three years wants to make our relationship "open".
13 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 43851

>>43057
If he's not restricting it to only him, I don't see the problem as long as you don't have kids.

Variety can be a nice spice if you both bring back new tricks. But you guys definitely need to communicate since something like this requires a lot of trust between both parties. If he starts going around behind your back and lying, dump his ass.

Anonymous 43859

>>43851
why is lying the problem and not sharing intimate experiences that he'd normally only share with her? sex is not like scratching an itch, it always has an emotional part, even if people don't realize it.

Anonymous 43870

Take a little pride in your appearance honey

Anonymous 44721

>>43057
I promise you that he’s not only already cheating, but that his mistress is probably “bi” and he wants to create a context where you meet each other. He’ll probably get mad if you actually find another man to fuck because he’s probably the stereotypical brainless moid who doesn’t think past his dick. He just wants a threesome right now

Anonymous 44835

>>43113
"Someone better" won't be interested if he knows she has a husband. Only trashy men play that kind of game



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Hating Women (internalized misogyny?) Anonymous 44193[Reply]

I'm a woman yet I hate women. I'm filled with rage around them and I become jealous quickly and with vigor. I don't know if I hate the idea of femininity or just "women". I can't explain it. It's usually a hatred for normie/basic women, ones who are happy and content and shit. Maybe it's pure jealousy?
I have mommy issues if that's relevant lol.
What do I do? How do I stop hating women? I feel sick. I want to support my sisters but everything screams at me to tear them down instead. I just feel sick.
20 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 44768

I hate both men and women. Manhaters and womanhaters are both right they're just delusional thinking their own gender has a highground and romanticize their own gender as being good and virtuous. Most of the bad traits the genders are shared and the few that are different just add different flavors to the awful, they don't alleviate it.

I should pprobably stop being such a misanthrope but it's hard

Anonymous 44769

>>44768
the word your looking for is "Misanthropist"

Anonymous 44785

>>44769
no she isn't

Anonymous 44788

>>44785
then what is it?

Anonymous 44819

>>44788
You can use both they mean the same thing



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Anonymous 44708[Reply]

I grew up chubby with a plain face and nobody ever paid attention to me. Now I have a boyfriend and irl guys never bat an eye at me. I want other men to find me attractive so that I don't feel like my bf is settling for me and I want him to feel proud to be dating me and want to show me off to other guys. I'm scared that if/when I glow up (I'm overweight and losing) I'll start to get attention from other men and I won't know how to handle being attractive for the first time in my life and do something stupid. How do I make sure I don't become a ho
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 44710

Get some basic values and morals for starters. You clearly have none at the moment.

Anonymous 44711

>>44709
He's objectively pretty hot. We weren't infatuated with each other from the start but we are attracted to each other and have grown to have a strong bond.

>>44710
I like to think that I do to some extent. I would never cheat on someone ever and I think it's a disgusting thing to do, and I love my boyfriend deeply. I'm mostly just scared of the thoughts I might have if I start getting attention from men since it's never happened to me before (like I worry I'll enjoy it more than I should).

Anonymous 44712

why would you care in the slightest what other men think or you regardless of whether or not you have a bf. men have no standards anyway and if you overtly came onto one they probably wouldn't mind using you for at least a one night stand
if you did start getting attention from men you very well might start returning their feelings of lust, especially if it's something you're not at all used to

Anonymous 44715

>I want him to feel proud to be dating me and want to show me off to other guys
I mean, if he's into cuck stuff I guess, but I think most men would prefer not to have worry about other men.

Anonymous 44765

>>44708
Your bf is settling alright. For a mental wreck.



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rebounding Anonymous 41907[Reply]

i stopped interacting with r9k moids a long time ago and it has helped my mental health greatly not being in a toxic misogynistic environment and being the token girl

but the worse part is trying to interact with normal people again w/o the autistic shit i had habits of before, and the mannerisms and behaviors i have acquired from it. i recently just joined /soc/ servers again bc i can't handle constantly holding a facade and being surrounded by such fragile people. i feel like im slowly integrating myself again into degenerate 4chan stuff again

how the fuck can i interact with normies? how can i hold healthy relationships with people? i cannot imagine being close to anyone who hasn't acquired the same behaviors i have

im losing my mind being so bored and dissatisfied with the people im speaking to. i want excitement and laughs again not lolcows who have a breakdown over the word femboy and post minecraft trans bee

it's been so long since i disconnected myself from the community but i still hold the same mannerisms and behavior. wtf do i do? can i ever truly recover from years of internet autism?
21 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 42116

>>42101
That's an outcome of greater male variability. More men are retarded and more men are overly intelligent while less are of average intelligence and both extremes tend not to be normalfags. Of course this also leads to the increase crime rate but criminals are almost by definition people who don't conform to normalfag societal rules.

Anonymous 42172

>>42001
>I don't think there is a problem with racism
Hey admin, what are you doing?

Anonymous 42173

>>42172
Racism isn't a bannable offense unless it's a thread purely about race.

Anonymous 44582

>>42074 You're a solipsist who believes you're the only mind that exists. You think other people are robots that are reacting to simple internal programming. How's it like to be stunted?

Anonymous 44685

>>44582
There are other people with minds, they're just not normalfags.



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Female autogynephilia Anonymous 44540[Reply]

Don't know where to post this, but does anyone else here relate to autogynephilia despite being a woman? I grew up scrawny and ugly with a visible illness that made me even uglier, didn't grow curves until my late teens, had very thin and dry hair due to said illness and only wore clothes that would make me invisible. Nobody acknowledged me as a girl until later in life and even then I was only approached by guys who sensed my insecurity and awkwardness and got off on me being "weird". Growing up I romanticized the experience of being a girl that was perceived as such, I was obsessed with femininity. I envied classmates with pretty faces or long hair, asked them to wear it down more, had a dislike for short haircuts or ponytails. I couldn't understand why someone who had everything I wanted to have wouldn't be proudly displaying it. I was so obsessed with women that I identified as lesbian for some time, while also longing to be desired by boys. I fooled around with bicurious classmates who would come for sleepovers with benefits but shunned me at school. I know this sounds like a stupid moid fantasy, but it was extremely confusing for me. I thought I loved women, but craved the validation of men. To this day I don't know if I'm straight or bi. I started doing art and had women model for me, so I was always surrounded by pretty women while being mousy and too self-conscious to try to make the best of my features. I have awkward body language and never learned how to do flattering makeup because I can't stand to look into a mirror for too long. When I date women, I miss men and vice versa. I could stare at women forever but sex with them leaves me feeling awkward and like something's missing, meanwhile when I have sex with men my experience is based entirely on feeling like a real, desirable woman by making the man desire me and get off on me. I often wonder if I'm really into girls or if I just fetishize living vicariously through a desirable woman and crave being validated by lesbian women as the ultimate confirmation that I am perceived as female. I compensate for my childhood experiences so hard I refuse to wear pants, resent everything that could make me look androgynous, I even experience what tranners call gender euphoria when people refer to me as she or girl and thus validate me in even the smallest way. I've never had normie men ask me out, I've never received flowers or a valentine's something or had a normal classic first date, and I know that'sPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
6 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 44560

>>44557
Lmao I know that, my title was bad but in the body I said relate to agp. It's a bad comparison but it's the only thing that came to mind. My bad

>>44554
Thank you

Anonymous 44579

>>44560
AGP is a fetish. Unless you’re trying tp say you’re some kind of degenerate you shouldn’t relate to it. And we don’t like trannies here so I don’t know why you would intentionally talk about relating to them either.

Anonymous 44592

>>44579
I already said it was a bad comparison. And I don't like trannies either, but what you're saying is some SJW-tier "don't mention the unmentionables if you're not gonna actively sperg about how much you hate them" shit. I didn't say I empathized with them, if anything it's just another vent about how even the plights they say are specific to their experience are felt by women who don't fit into societal standards.

Anonymous 44595

You sound a bit emotionally stunted from your childhood. You're not an AGP.

Anonymous 44666

>I even experience what tranners call gender euphoria

You get boners when the supermarket clerk calls you ma'am? That's crazy.



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Anonymous 44507[Reply]

I'm 26 now and someone very important to me who's been there for me for the past decade is now gone
I feel lost
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 44561

>>44507
you should play silent hill 2

Anonymous 44564

>>44561
That is too spooky.

>>44507
You should play a game where you can just zone out and not care about the world until covid is over. Like for example modded Skyrim or Fallout. Or a longish J-RPG any of the Final Fantasies does.

Anonymous 44575

>>44507
RIP Donald Trump

Anonymous 44589

>>44507
I've nothing to add except same, OP. So sorry to hear. I feel fucked up and contemplating suicide just to make everything stop. Just so I don't have to think of it all anymore. I miss her so much after all this time, how am I supposed to live several more decades like this? I'll manage, somehow. You will too.

Anonymous 44602

5YjYpra.jpg

>>44589
thanks man
>>44564
good advice i'm going back to play FFXV



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Anonymous 44588[Reply]

How can I find a therapist/psychologist who does not just deal with normies and could actually help me? I really wanna go to one, but have no idea what to look for :(

Anonymous 44593

I feel you OP. Not to NLOG but my experiences are so far removed from the typical human experience that I don't know how to not have everything I do immediately pathologized.

Anonymous 44594

Idk if you feel like this would help but when I was going in I asked specifially for a woman. I felt like that was at least one step into being able to get actual help as a man would not be able to understand me. I think you should also try to maybe talk to the therapist or whoever is in charge about what you want to discuss and see if they would be able to handle it. I don't know how things are looking in your country when it comes to this but I Hope it goes well!



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Found the perfect guy but I can't feel attracted to him Anonymous 44362[Reply]

This sounds like bait but I swear it's not. Hear me out.

I'm 20.
He's a 24 year old virgin. A 7/10. Has a good paying, full time job, an amazing GPA, and is on his way to get a compsci degree. He says he loves me and would marry me within 2 years if everything worked out.

Things didn't work out. I'm hysteric, depressed, and really socially retarded. I cannot feel love. Not a single bit. Not for him or anyone else. I don't even have a libido.
He was literally the perfect guy. I could be completely comfortable if I just married him. I don't know what to do. I'm stupid, ugly, and insane, so I really don't think I'll ever get the chance to marry ever again.

Should I just get back with him and deal with it? I feel like this is my only shot at life, but I also think I'll be miserable if I stay with him.
32 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 44436

1556931115790.jpg

Maybe you just need to know him for a longer period before dating him and getting intimate with him

Anonymous 44440

>20
>24
There's your problem.

Anonymous 44442

>>44430
Plenty of men who cheat talk about their "chemistry" with the outside woman. I don't think basing your relationship off "chemistry" is a safe bet.

Anonymous 44448

>>44362
You're 20 try having some patience and get what you actually want Jesus Christ…

Anonymous 44590

>>44362
You should tell him (if you two are in touch) that you need some time to sort yourself out, and then accept he can do whatever he wants to knowing that. He can move on and find someone else or wait for you, who knows. And then work on yourself. You shouldn't get back with him if you don't want to rn, "you can be the juiciest peach but someone else just likes apples" maybe you like apples ok.


Literally saw this play out with my friend's lil sis this weekend.



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