/feels/ - Advice & Venting
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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Anonymous 17180[Reply]

Is there an unspoken rule about not sending multiple messages in a row without a response? I'm talking to a girl and she isn't very social and doesn't use her phone much and often she doesn't respond to my texts but i feel bad sending her a bunch of texts in a row when she hasn't responded, when we see each other we could unironically talk and bond for hours non-stop, but it feels off to try and force conversation with her, wtf do i do

Anonymous 17182

there is a rule, and if you break it you'll be sacrificed to TEXTING GODDESS! what i usually do i think about how it'd feel like to be receiving the texts. think about would it be too much if someone was sending them to you?

also does she leave you at seen and just doesn't carry on the conversation, or does she just check her phone very rarely but answers when she does?

Anonymous 17184


If you don't text your friends 15 times in a row, do you really care about them?
Bonus points for doing it at night too – there's nothing more wholesome than making sure your friends sleep soundly!

Anonymous 17186

I find it obnoxious when I get 20 texts from one person in a row before I've had a chance to respond to them. I could understand if they were having some kind of emergency and were waiting for a prompt response but if it's just a "hey how are ya :^)" type text then fuck off. Sometimes I'm just away from my phone for a bit, taking a long nap or working on piles of homework so I can't always respond right away.

It doesn't mean I hate you or won't eventually respond to you, give the girl some time to pick up her phone instead of badgering her.

Anonymous 17188

You have to pretend to be disinterested and aloof for anyone to want to speak to you. The moment you seem eager to communicate you break the unwritten rule of everyone needing to be a silent husk via text message. If you get anyone's number the key is to wait like 9 hours before ever replying to anything or else they stop texting you all together. Make sure to use 1 word responses strategically in order to not be annoying. It's the worst form of communication because it doesn't work like this in person or on any other platform.


Am I wrong for owning guns? Anonymous 16377[Reply]

Hey all. What is your opinion on being a cute girl into owning guns? Am I bad for wanting firepower?
17 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 16401

Unless you have a gas mask always handy, chemical weapons are not an effective method of self defence.

Anonymous 16403

Letting everyone own guns is too dangerous. I'm glad there are very strict regulationes and you need to pass a test and get a licence to legally own a gun here.

Anonymous 16428

>Am I wrong for owning guns?

well it depends, do you plan on killing people or you want to have one to defend yourself if the worst happens? I would have a gun if I lived in a dangerous place and was on my own

Anonymous 17172

are you the anon who eats their boogers?

Anonymous 17176


Unlikely given your age.

Unless…. Unless….

I have a secret cousin? Both of our families have a hidden secret? :o


Imageboard toxicity Anonymous 16953[Reply]

Idk pic related from a random dread felt a little too real to me

Browsing imageboards you realise that memes aside, there is a majority of users who will unreasonably attack people cause of gender/race/appearance/sex life etc
Most anons are 1488ers,~reee roasties~robots,nit-picky lo lc ow ''' farmers ''',self hating >I'm better than the other members of my minority - - or average guys who don't really care cause they aren't directly threatened
None of this I used to mind since ~~hehe how edgy heh I'm not a stacy hehe~~ but after I escaped my abusive situation and started improving my life I realized. Why lurk boards where every other post is either how to sabotage women or manipulate them pretending you're nice in order to use them(which worsens trust issues ) . I know I sound like a pussy sjw newfag but idk haven't you guys bacome less tolerable of others toxicity when you started taking control of your life?

p.s there are noic chans and i am no saint compared to salty anons, just screechin ignore oωο
35 posts and 9 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 17116

sounds good to me!

Anonymous 17117

Leave an email if you can. I'll get back to you.

Anonymous 17120

I've grown insensitive for toxicity online since most of it is just "edgy" (hate using that word) attempts at attention and supposed disguised banter but really a coping mechanism of sorts. So you can just be playing a mic video-game and some kid starts spamming "n%%@#-f%%@#" or says "spell dabbing backwards lol" and you just ignore or mute.

What really makes me angry though is when meme culture/discourse spreads outside towards websites where it has no business in; such as serious discussions and the like. Most commonly in youtube comments or subreddits completely unrelated to chan culture now starting to be spammed with memes with terrible histories behind them. I dont want to discuss say medieval history online and be bombarded with kids spamming "remove kebab lol". Twitch for instance is infamous for this but I guess it's due to the demographic age of it's audience and the historical demographics where it was targeted for.

I'm not good with computers; but can those nicknames for here actually serve a purpose for redirecting people who have no business being here by making it harder to link threads here?

from the words of someone here "CC is just one girl with 10 proxies talking to herself"

Anonymous 17122

[email protected]
i don't know a thing about programming or whatever though
hope i didn't give the impression i did :o

Anonymous 17173


I started lurking LC early in 2018 in the depths of depression and school stress. I was suicidal and it was really bad at some points. It made me feel good to see other people get torn down and tbh get a few laughs. I still go look at 2-3 threads once and awhile for my fav cows, but I don't go as often anymore because it makes me sad. CC is less depressing and more comfy. I like it here.


Workplace Harassment Anonymous 17035[Reply]

Who else has been harassed by men or otherwise been put in an uncomfortable situation at work?

Yesterday the assistant manager at my new retail job caught me upstairs crying because a much older male cowoker (I’m 20 and he’s like 65) told me I looked like I “packed on some pounds” while eyeing my ass, then put his hands on my shoulders, lightly massaging me and saying “lighten up sweetheart” when I became visibly upset. The general manager was sent an Email about it and according to him, the creepy old guy is apparently a routine offender, making inappropriate comments toward women and touching them but despite supposedly facing disciplinary action after each one he hasn’t changed his ways. The GM told me today he’ll be facing serious consequences but wouldn’t specify what those consequences will be, hopefully termination.
8 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 17121

I work in engineering and at my last internship the male/female ratio was 10:3. This lead to a lot of harassment, odd and inappropriate comments, etc. I think it's just common in male-dominated fields because they don't know how to act around us.

Anonymous 17138

Back when I worked a fast food job I had this coworker who would place his hands on my shoulders whenever he needed something, I hated it but didn't think it was big enough of a deal to complain about. A tap on the shoulder is ok with me to get my attention but what he was doing I found to be disgusting. He also kept trying to hit on me, men tend to complain that women are cruel when rejecting them but there is no choice since a soft rejection is ignored much of the time.

Anonymous 17150

I've found that all they need is a simple "I'm not interested, sorry." and they get it. Just be clear but polite and normal guys will stop. But if you don't say it explicitly they think you're just playing hard to get.

Anonymous 17160

“Normal guys” is the key. Some men are just born creeps and no amount of saying no will make them back off.

Anonymous 17165

>I don't know why when it comes to young men acting that way, it comes off as being immature, in which it sometimes is but that does not mean that they should be given some slack because they are younger. When they are in their 20's or even out of high school, they should know what the hell they are saying and doing…
No one said they should be cut slack, the harsher you are with them the better because 8/10 times they learn from the ignorant mistake. Sometimes people need a good verbal ass-kicking when they’re young so they can learn a quick lesson and grow into respectful adults.

That being said, while the young boy should obviously be reprimanded or punished for being a pig, it’s still somewhat more understandable for someone with a developing brain to be an idiot about manners as opposed to someone over 30 and especially over 60. It could just be that his parents never taught him when he was under their roof and had to get his ass handed to him elsewhere.


Anonymous 16039[Reply]

What would you do if you found out a potential bf did this? How would you feel if you found out your son did this?

Anonymous 16040


Real pic whoops

Anonymous 16042

>if a potential partner
I'd be grossed out at her taste and if we were not already dating, I'd feel nervous at the potential that she thinks I'm hot like that girl.

Let's say we were already together and I found out, I'd probably get over it and just make fun of her for not fucking a hot porn star.

Concept-wise, I am not bothered by this occurring in a partner's life.
>if my son
I'd also be grossed out at his taste and I'd feel a little more guilty about him developing such shit taste.

Concept-wise I also wouldn't care, as long as he was of legal age and wasn't trying to blast his social media with it.

Anonymous 17149

>I'd feel nervous at the potential that she thinks I'm hot like that girl.
Literally no one finds bimbo porn hags attractive except greasy old men.
>that fat stomach barely held in by fetish restraints
>those disgusting nails
>that bad tan
>those shitty tats
>those uneven roots
>those silicone tits
>that pore-clogging sludge all over her face
Her bone structure isn't even good enough to make up for it. The ONLY thing she has going for her is the fact that she puts out. Simply by avoiding these pitfalls, you're way more attractive to her, especially to lesbians.


Gaslighting Anonymous 16979[Reply]

Gaslighting seems to be a really common tactic among men to use against women, especially ones who get angry and vent by taking it out on others. Men in my life regularly use manipulative tactics and lie to try and make me feel bad about myself or tell me that things that happen to me are deserved. My boyfriend constantly says edgy shit about women and upsets me and then just calls me sensitive. It happens on 4chan and even on this board. We're told we're crazy for finding certain behaviours and thoughts repulsive, and we're not allowed to criticise them. If we even try doing the same thing to them we get swamped by accusations of being 'crazy'. It's all too much. I'm sick of being painted as crazy or angry for trying to get people to give a shit about my feelings and understand me.

Anyone else have this problem?
28 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 17095

nta but I like bantering/playfully insulting my male friends but I could never do that with a partner.
He would be my treasure and life's purpose, why would I be mean to him at all? And vice versa. I would like to be seen as his support and would not take insults (unless valid criticisms) lightly.
Different strokes?

Anonymous 17119

>He would be my treasure and life's purpose, why would I be mean to him at all?
Banter isn't "being mean", it's literally the opposite. It's a means of showing affection. This is middle school level stuff.

Anonymous 17129

Really? With my friends it usually consists of teasing each other for making stupid mistakes (calling each other idiots and dramatizing small incidents like someone dropping something), making fun of personal failings (like me not being able to get laid and my best friend making fun of me for constantly thirsting after men), or bringing up things that the other person is very openly distressed by (like body horror or certain types of porn).
Of course no one is offended by this, but I wouldn't do it to a partner because it still does have mean undertones. It's still laughing at someone, even if lovingly. I could never make fun of someone I love like that. I've never been able to do that to men who I've been attracted to.
Could also add this doesn't apply to all my male friends. One directly stated this sort of thing upsets him so I don't. Hastagnotallmen or whatever

Anonymous 17145


why do you assume it's banter aren't you just assuming here that she's in the wrong

clearly a male tbh

Anonymous 17148


banter totally is being mean when you know the other person will get upset by it and you refuse to respect their feelings. Respect other people and don't force your lifestyle onto them. This is elementary level stuff.


College/Uni feels Anonymous 10[Reply]

Share the good, the bad, and hell of pursuing a degree. Whether it be living in a dorm with a horrible roommate, classes kicking your ass, or something happening relating to school that has filled you with joy.
153 posts and 33 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 11437

Hey anon I've been there! What usually helps for me is breaking these herculean tasks into smaller, more doable tasks. That alone already helps in making things less scary. Then I usually schedule all the little tasks, estimating how long each one will take and planning when to do them. When doing this I take into account self-care and breaks to relax, and I take those as any other task.
Personally, it makes worlds of difference to me to have proof that everything can be done in time. Stick to your plans but also don't be afraid to change them, some flexibility will always be needed even though you should strive to follow your original plan as closely as possible.
It will be alright, you got this.

Anonymous 11438

>How do I stop feeling so overwhelmed with workload?
Idk how far along you are in school, but university was insurmountable for me when I first started. Things got seemingly easier in my junior year, I had a good idea of how long projects/studying took and how much effort I needed to put in to get the grade I wanted. Everyone I knew in school reached this point, too, so you'll get there, too.

>Yesterday I got 4 books at the library and upon seeing how much it is, I totally freaked. I need to read them and write 2 papers about them. I also have 3 exams coming up. I actually still got some time, the papers are due at the end of september and the exams are in the middle of october but I already feel as if time is running up.

It's no fun being stressed, but unfortunately I think that's just a part of the experience of school sometimes. Everyone gets a bit out of wits when midterms/finals come up. What >>11437 said is good advice. Some people like doing smaller/easier things first and leaving the long/hard things at the end so that they feel like they accomplished more. But I always did the things I dreaded most first, and leave easier things to end. Just my preference, figure out works for you!

>Whenever I have exams or just some project to do, I go into "study mode" completely: meaning I neglect my hygiene, my room looks like trash, I'm incredibly moody,

I was guilty of this, and looked like absolute trash, but didn't care because I just wanted to get as high as grades as possible. Sorry, I can't give you advice on that.

>but the worst thing is, that I don't even get that much shit done (instead I browse lc for example).

This used to be me! I found what helped was breaking up studying so that I would do something like study for 2 hours, then for 1 hour I'd watch a show or shitpost, and repeat as many times until I felt comfortable about the subject matter (or at least as much as I could handle).

>All the other students seem to be able to balance studying for a bit each day and also having some free time.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 11589

>tfw the only thing really keeping me from this degree are my worries over whether i'll be smart enough for it

damn it i'll work hard and i know there'll be dull moments but i'm even excited for them? like i can't wait to be bored and figure out how shit works lol
i know that makes no sense!

but yeah in an hour i guess i'll settle down and study some

ahhhhh i'm excited?? but also apprehensive

Anonymous 17078


OH my fucking GOD i just missed a few huge assignments in a class and my A may drop to a C? i've turned in everything else but i always forget about those online exams ffs! can't even be too angry at the teacher or anyone but myself bc i know i had weeks to do them, i just absolutely fucking forgot and i NEVER FUCKING check the online section for this course because i'm a dumbfuck

also in another class i've missed about 5 assignments lol. i should have a c (?) but i had an A for midterms because i guess he did not count them. sort of shamelessly asked if i could turn them in for late credit or something just in case he tries to go back and override my grade? i feel like scum but what else can i do lmfao

anyway i want to kill myself because of this laziness. or at least get a pill that will inspire me to work rather than fart around on the internet. my first semester was damn good but now i'm fucking up
at least my other courses are ok.

Anonymous 17081

The pills help for shit, sis
Boost you for up to 2 months and leave you permanently tired afterwards.
Don't go this route


Childhood abuse Anonymous 16586[Reply]

So, something weird happened.

My therapist finally got me to acknowledge the possibility(!) that I was abused as a child.

It didn't even go with shock and horror for me, but rather peaceful. Before, I went through an intense period of being disgusted by myself and of course my everlasting depression.

Now everything makes so much more sense. All the little fucked up things that I did, or that happend to me, or that my parents did.

Finally I can function freely. Finally, when asked what's up, I do not get back to the ground level of "I don't know" that has been permeating my entire life.

Finally, the things I say and do are not coming off like I was pretending something, or hiding behind a mask.

I feel free now. And I act better. Things in my life, actually my entire life, seemed to have changed for the better the instant I acknowledged it. I am finally peaceful now.

I'm just a little bit sick at my parents and, still, I don't know anything for sure. It's an assumption now, but it feels pretty good.
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 16752

I'm in a really similar spot. It's crazy that now I feel like I'm an adult and I've been separated from the overall abusive/suffocating situation for a few years that I finally realized just how messed up it all was. My antisocial behavior was a clear sign of me acting out because of my issues, but back then I thought it was normal. I really thought I was "okay" and my family was super close. Now I realize I was fucked in the head and my family is so damaged. I don't know what to do though because I've been a NEET for so long it's going to take awhile to get my shit together. I wish I was capable of being independent right now, because I just want to move out. It's weird trying to navigate my every day life with my family now that I've made some realizations.

Anonymous 16842

Suffocatong situation, that's so much it :( I wanted nothing more than to get out and not need to have anything to do with them any more, even before I started to fathom what was up. They will start to raise shit on Christmas again because "Family sees each other on CHristmas!!1!1 :'''( ", despite the fact that they do not really care about Christmas itself at all.

OP here, well, there actually were a lot of hints showing that my family was absolutely fucked.

The main usse being me, at age 11 or 12, just going through the house, when my dad came in from the front door, grabbed me without a word and french kissed me. ??? I broke free and ran, and it was never talked about again.

Porn scattered throughout the house, everywhere, me being forbidden to enter certain rooms with ridiculous reasoning only for me to find out later that there are enormous porn stashes hidden there
Him trying to download teen porn and fucking up his computer in the process
a fucking CHILD MOLESTER (as turned out later in the news) frequenting our house to fix our electronics (My father was always very proud of only ever ordering mechanics that he "personally knew", some "buddies of his", and ALL OF THEM were fucking creeps)
My dad always telling me how he looks forward of going out with me when I was grown, how everyone will be jealous at the nice young lady in his company
Him not betting an eye about nature documentaries that feature sex (And sometimes sex exclusively) and watching them with me
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 16937

Not that anon, but holy shit. I am so sorry that happened to you. I got kinda sick reading that too. Good for you for cutting him out of your life. I hope you are able to get some good security measures for your home and keep him out of your shit, and/or find a fantastic job somewhere too far away for him to visit.

>They will start to raise shit on Christmas again because "Family sees each other on CHristmas!!1!1 :'''( ", despite the fact that they do not really care about Christmas itself at all.

I noticed that people who make tons of noise about how others should do what they want because "family does things for/with each other" are usually people whose families wouldn't have anything to do with them if they weren't blood. It's a guilt trip, and I think they do it because everybody else is sick of their shit and has stopped enabling them, so they play the family card because it's usually one of the more effective ones.

I have a brother who pulls that shit, and I actually came to this thread to talk about how it took me til well into adulthood to acknowledge his bullying and emotional abuse for what it was (it wasn't severe or anything, the worst part of it was that I picked up a bunch of his shitty behavior patterns and have had to deprogram myself). But his dumb bullshit is miniscule in comparison to what you went through.

Your mom sounds like a terrible person too, and you don't owe her a goddamn thing. Either she knew and she looked the other way, or she's so completely broken herself that she was blind to it. Either way you have enough on your plate without her. She sounds manipulative. Manipulation is part and parcel of any kind of abuse, and like you said, if you grow up with it, it just seems normal and it's so hard to get out of that mindset.

I hope you succeed in keeping all your toxic relatives out of your life and building a better family of friends and other people who are worth associating with.

Anonymous 16943

Would you happen to be the anon whose dad left cookies in her drivers seat, came into her house uninvited and was just very overbearing and clingy almost to a stalker level?

Also, the person who molested me looked at porn a lot too. He started touching me in awkwardly intimate ways started at 12 years old, it turned explicitly sexual at 15. Sorry anon.

As fucked up as it sounds, every other girl I've met that was sexually abused happened to be a very special person(in a positive sense). You're probably a special soul too.

Anonymous 16944

Yeah, I have flamed about him before. :( Thanks though. I try to live up to it!

<3! Yeah my mom is a chapter on its own, but manipulative hits the nail on the head, when I went NC with her the first time she drank herself blackout drunk (and made a point to tell me as son as we spoke again). The sad thing is that she really puts a lot of effort into stuff having to do with my kids… but do I need that when I get sick every time I see her? Probably not.


Am I wasting my time? Anonymous 16742[Reply]

I'm a third year in uni crushing on a fourth year. I personally think we're very compatible, we've become pretty good friends and I'm really into him.

However he seems to have been dumped within the past 6 months and seems to still be hung on his ex.

I feel that I'm circumstantially friendzoned here and no matter how compatible we may or may not be, he probably won't ever see me as anything more than a friend because of possible lingering feelings towards his ex, as well as being in a place where he probably doesn't want to date anytime soon.

I don't know whether I should just give him time and see if he does ever see me as more than a friend or if I should stop trying.

Anonymous 16747

>we've become pretty good friends
>he seems to have been dumped within the past 6 months
Youre pretty good friends but you dont know his relationship status?

Regardless, I think you should just keep being a good friend to him, and dont "push it". Just let your relationship grow organically and if it happens, it happens.


how do I help her? Anonymous 16680[Reply]

I work in the office and since my PC at home broke I stay there a lot after my work hours to use the computers. I'm pretty sure I was the last one on my floor today when I found a note left on a piece of paper in the toilet. Translated it was something along the lines 'please help! I'm trapped, respond if you can help me…'. I went back to my room, took some post it notes, wrote 'how can I help you?' and left it in the toilet along with a pen.

what do I do? due to how it looked I'm sure it wasn't a joke. It was left on purpose, at the time when the whole building is usually empty. People from the cleaning service don't speak language it was written in and I'm afraid they will bin both notes and a pen when they do the cleaning over night.

what do I do? I'm so worried that if she won't find her and my notes in the morning she won't reach out again

Anonymous 16687

Maybe add another note saying “do not remove” or let the cleaners know about the situation. I would probably look up support for stopping modern day slavery / human trafficking in your country too, just incase it is serious, as you might be able to get some support. Good luck anon.

Anonymous 16703

what show is that?

Anonymous 16731

Check in the morning, if the notes are gone, make a new one.

Not OP, but this is from Yu Yu Hakusho

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