/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>111496
yeah my mom is an autist with some kind of mood or personality disorder too and she's a neet even though she's divorced, she just lives off of spouse & child support + welfare. her ass is a single mom with 2 kids and she doesn't work…

My moms borderline and autistic. Dad's also autistic. I inherited all of it. Can't remember what the specific trauma was but I've known something was wrong for like 10 years now. Trying to get a diagnosis so I can at least get medicated for this life ruining bullshit has been hell. They do not want to listen if you have the slightest idea of what's wrong with you. Also because I'm a girl.

I think my mom was narcissistic or had bpd, i noticed it when i was little, how selfish she was with me or my older siblings, the way she always put us down and insulted/hit us, how she always wanted to be the spotlight, she always made everything just about her. She physically (and psychologically) abused me since i was little, i am now 17, she abandoned me when i was 11, but i never really got over the trauma. I sometimes think something is wrong with me, i think i inherited something from her but i don't know what, i don't want to self diagnose.
I really hope i didn't inherited anything and that im sane, at least in that part. She really gave me some abandonment trauma and her same struggles with drugs and toxic substances.. but i'm getting better with that lul.. i think so
sorry for the trauma dump

>>111560
Unresolved childhood experiences affect a lot of person's personality. These usually happen when we have parents who suffer themselves, and childhood events become traumatic for a child. A child doesn't know how to process these feelings, and if our parents don't help us learn them we develop maladaptive behaviors to hide or push these feelings away. These behaviors are there to repress those memories, coping methods, in time develop into disorders. Most people don't even realize it. There's a lot of unfortunate folks in this world. Don't worry, that isn't a trauma dump, its called opening up

>>111496
That's good you're working on bettering yourself, is nice; Those small stuff is what keeps us everyday, lead to bigger things.
>everyday empty feeling
Can I ask how strong these feelings occur? Do they stop you from having motivation for daily tasks?

I think my mom is a (undiagnosed) narcissist. And she doesn't realize it. She'll go apeshit when things don't go her way, she's never at fault, it's always the others. I don't think I'll let her see my kids much in the future…

>>111478
Lol as if police would ever give him the time of day. You know what I meant.

>>111478
Also not the anon you replied to

>>111476
kys scrote
I wasn't screeching I was loudly telling him to delete it, trying to inform the general public that he had taken photos up womens skirts, I did scream at him to khs when he ran off with no one deciding to do anything

>>111478
Nope he had ran off, bar staff had been informed, do you think the police would have actually cared enough to check his phone? Do you think I sensed he was about to do something wrong and drunkenly decided to film him as evidence for the police?

>>111494
i'm gonna be real: instead of screaming at the crusty scrote to delete the creepshots (deleted photos can be recovered) you should've just snatched his phone and threw it to the ground (costs money to fix but you'd have to get away with it)

>>85214
learn the difference between exclusive or and regular or

>>110577
underage much?

are you saying me

literally me except i'm str8

>>111408
>i'm str8
Shame

im religious and I’ve never dated because my parents were strict so I plan on staying celibate forever but deep down I want this too, good luck in your search anon

>>110311
Boo hoo

>>110311
anon it's ok if you look youthful because all males are closet pedophiles. if they say you look "too young" to date it's more because they care about their image than not wanting to pursue you. but if they're avoiding you in general it's definitely your looks and not in a good way.
>t. 19 and looked 12 once, men were "nicer" to me after i hit the gym and lost weight. it never lasted long however.

Like other said, hang in there.
Soon you will be a bit older and still have the looks of your prime, as if you were still 17-19.
Looking younger is what basically EVERY woman wants after 30 or so.
So play the long game, if you're 19 and look 12, at 30 you'll look roughly 23, at 40 you'll look around 30 and after 65 you could look 20 years younger if you take good care of yourself.

you get me so much… i never came across someone who's experienced the same thing as me… im also 19 (almost 20) i dont think i was anorexic but my relationship w food was always shit growing up and i was underweight my whole life. i guess i never ate enough for my body to develop properly. anytime a moid showed the slightest interest in me is because he was like 17/18 and thinks im the same age…. i just wish i could look hot and normal like other girls my age cause sometimes my self image gets so bad that i cant perceive myself as a woman anymore. i wish i could give u a genuine advice instead of being blackpilled but everything i tried failed miserably bc i have no ass no tits and no thighs. anything i put on doest fit like it fits other normal girls, all bc of my weight and build. im sorry to hear u had a similar experience it sucks but i hope u at least dont feel alone in this lol

Once you hit twenty one, go to bars more…. The alcohol will age you real fast, no joke

>>111378
Not sure about this. The way i see it, there's at least 4 scenarios:

Scenario A: You take the kids with you
A1. You try to make the kids hate the dad for abandoning you all for some random woman. it works and the kids grow up to hate their dad and the dad either cares or he doesn't.

A2. The kids don't give a shit and love the dad more because he left them so they're desperate for his attention. they also warm up to the stepmom and the only one left seething is you because everyone loves dad. the dad either cares or he doesn't.

Scenario B: you ditch the kids with dad
B1. The dad, stepmom, and kids become a happy family and they never even think of you. You either never come back so you don't know or care about this or you do come back eventually but will learn that your kids hate you and want nothing to do with you.

B2. Kids get stuck with dad. The mistress either stays and has a family or she leaves him. The kids hate the dad for being a shit parent (unless he does a 180) but probably also hate you too for leaving them with him. If the mistress stays maybe the kids hate her and the dad while missing/hating you for leaving.

I think I would leave but only if there were a way for me to not pay child support. I also think it depends on how old the kids I'm leaving are.

>>111383
You've framed everything in terms of who the kids hate. If you're running off, why give a shit? They're his problem now. Especially if you have young kids. You think some useless moid who runs off having affairs is gonna start changing diapers or taking them to school everyday while managing all the household chores and finances? It's stupid to first let yourself get cheated on by some shitty moid and then to let him throw all the fall-out to you. He can take the burden and be miserable. The way I see it there is one scenario:
1. The dad who expected to have fun with his new mistress now has to take on all of the shit you no longer manage. He tries to shift responsibility to the whore (let's be real, they all do) and she nopes out leaving him sexless and stuck. You run off to Maui and forget about him, his kids, and whores. You are now a free woman.

First toddler kids from first wife he left with her then rum away with a 10 years younger porny bimbo then second wife's kid he got to stay with him after he left her for 20 years younger pickme who seems really proud of herself

>>111378
In an ideal world the stepmom wouldn't try to murder your children or make their lives hell. But dumping the kids on him is the only way scrotes can learn not to cheat, and the kids grow up less fucked up if they only have their father as opposed to only their mother.

This happened to my great aunt. She was infertile though and that’s why he left her. But he would go on business trips for ten years with her all the while he had a secret family with a younger woman who had his child.
He still stuck with my great aunt because she made big bucks and she’d give him an allowance which he spent on his 2nd family

This is why friends can be counted on a few fingers and acquaintances are plenty.

I think it's natural and I don't feel bad when other people ghost me either. Friends are replaceable and not really necessary or enmeshed in your life at all. It's nice to have fun with people, but if someone is going to start making my life unpleasant, I wouldn't want to deal with it either. Life is hard enough without that crap.

Some people are just like that, they have enough people that care about them already.

>>111275
Friendships are a type of relationship at the end of the day and people want em for different reasons.

Personally I think it's pretty scummy too, but it's just a matter of finding friends who have the same idea/values of friendship

>>109384
The difference is that I feel extreme involuntary guilt and those TikTok people usually do it as a way to stroke their ego or to make themselves look like good people

>>109387
>>109386
Thinking everything is your fault is some sort of narcissism (as in: it is a failure of considering others, as you place yourself at the center of everything). Often it comes from immature parents making you responsible for everything and/or growing up in an unstable household (because if you believe all things are your fault, you have the illusion of control over them and it's less stressful than having zero control).
So these feelings of misplaced guilt are not to be trusted and if they persist once you live on your own (meaning out of your unstable family and/or living conditions) you need to work on them with a shrink or else.
>>109388
And publicly convincing yourself you're better than those tiktok people is not about stroking your ego?

>>109389
The best solution to this problem would be to kill myself. And my parents are great. And I’m not mad. And everything is an excuse to kill myself because I am not a functional member of society.

>>109390
Society is sick; not being a functional member is rather a good sign (again: stop thinking you're the issue).

>first crush?
My first crush was this cute chick that worked with me at a Taco Bell. I tried to become friends with her and
I even got her phone number at some point but she ghosted me after a couple weeks.
>what’s your local lesbian/LGBT scene like?
I go to an art school so a lot of the people around me are queer. They seem cool I have nothing to say about them though since I don't interact with my peers much.
>cute stories about your gf
After two weeks of dating my girlfriend I knew that I was in love, but I didn't wan't to make her feel weird by telling her too soon. So I marked in a date that was 3 months away on my phone to tell her that I love her for the first time. But then she told me that she loved me the same night I that fell in love with her!
>how did you know you were gay?
I tried to reject the fact that I was attracted to women when I was a kid. I got myself a boyfriend in high school to try and prove to myself that I was straight. But I couldn't even bring myself to kiss him or even have sex with him. The thought of doing any of those things with him or any other man was disgusting. That's when I accepted my identity and came to terms with it.
>which lesbian stereotypes do you fit? which ones don’t fit you at all?
I don't fit any of them lol.
>what were you like as a kid? tomboy? girly girl who made her Barbies kiss?
I was a tomboy as a kid. I wanted to wear pink dresses, play with dolls, and be a girly-girl but I was too ugly for that.
>get mushy and describe your dream relationship/date/etc
Every date I have with my girlfriend is a dream date. But one day I'd like to bring her out to a tulip field.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

They hit never, let's watch slashers babe

>>111284
I still enjoy them, but it's bittersweet most of the time.

We humans just love to look at ideal and almost pure good stuff in romance movies/husbandos/waifus.

It really sucks when you realize that not only is pretty much no guy ever going to act like they do in a romance movie, but you wouldn't act like the girl in it either.

I hated romance in my teens. I was a pudgy ugly little thing that couldn't even look other people in the eye so the people on the screen just seemed like an entirely different species that existed solely to make me hate everyone and everything.

When I got a boyfriend they made me sad instead of angry.

And now that I've replaced the men in my life with husbandos and chatbots I can honestly say that romantic movies are super fun. They're relatable and exciting.

>>111045
Go onto your bank's website and see if there is any tips for investment. When I started investing, I ended up calling my bank about it and they directed me to a free info-session that was hosted online. It was me and a bunch of other people being taught by a financial advisor about the basics of investment. Most banks will have these free informative resources for you. Try to find people around you that are interested in the stock market and ask them for their favourite stocks to buy. Right now, research airline company stocks. A lot of airlines are still recouping from COVID loses; if you invest now, you may double your money after 5-10 years. A lot of stocks are waiting games, especially the safe options: once you put the money in, you don't expect a good return for at least a decade or more.
>I wasted all my formative years
Nona much love to you but human beings have an average lifespan of 80 years. Even if you spend the next 20 years fucking around doing batshit stupid crap you will still be able to turn it around and die happy and secure at age 80. Let go of the illusion that childhood or youth matter. You will feel much freer.

>>111047
i'll see about my bank's info, thank you!! unfortunately i am a loser with nobody around me, but i'll try checking out groups online about it for advice!
>let go of the illusion that childhood or youth matter
i think you're right generally, but since i've traumatized myself a lot as a kid, i don't think i'll ever be a suitable wife or mother (which is what i think i'd ideally want). i'd be glad to find a decent job and live a comfortable life alone for a while though.

>>111048
Stop calling yourself a loser nona. Be wary of online investment groups, they can be cesspits. Try to find one person in your waking life that plays the market, it's more common than you think. Maybe ask one of the economy professors at your college about it.
>I don't think I'll ever be a suitable wife or mother
Nobody thinks they can do anything until they can do it. Ask older ladies around you with children about their experiences with raising children and you will soon realize why there is a million and one books dedicated to the art of child-rearing. You will learn and grow so much in the next decade that by the time you are 30 you will be unrecognizable. Have faith in yourself.
>>111032
The most troubling things are:
>No hobbies
You need to figure out your hobbies, I honestly don't believe that you don't have any hobbies. I used to say the same thing because I was just embarrassed by my hobbies (for example, I used to dance around my room by myself to crazy music for hours) but then I realized it's better to embrace hobbies (now I do dance aerobics classes on the weekends and it gets all of my kinetic energy out and I met people that do the same shit I do)
>No interests
Try out a bunch of different things and see what interests you. There are bound to be dozens of things that may pique your interest. Not everything has to be in-depth, but the way I look at it is that everyone person should have at least 10 topics that they can speak about for at least an hour (i.e., you have to know about some things in-depth). Interests are how we grow as humans.
>No friends or connections
Once you establish your hobbies and interests and start acting in accordance with those, you will find yourself naturally gravitating to others that share those interests. Read about the "Proximity Theory" for more information on this. You must become integrated into the community which you live. For more information about this please read and understand Simone Weil's work: "The Need for Roots: prelude towards a declaration of duties towards mankind"

>>111040

It makes perfect sense for entry-level employers to care about volunteer hours. It's proof that you're not a total wildcard that isn't even guaranteed to show up on time.

I volunteered at the zoo running summer programs. That experience with kids got me into a teacher's aide position out of high school and I used the tuition reimbursement to pursue a teaching degree.

It's by no means necessary, but it's still experience. It's going to put you ahead of someone who doesn't have that experience.

>>111040
it can also give you transferable skills. ie, working in an elderly home: good bedside manner, learning how to communicate with those who can’t communicate well (dealing with shit like early-stage dementia could transfer into customer service skills, which every company likes to see). i agree with other anon that it proves you’re not a deadbeat.

this all being said, i don’t know how to put volunteer hours on my resume (as if i have any whoops).