/feels/ - Advice & Venting

there is a rule, and if you break it you'll be sacrificed to TEXTING GODDESS! what i usually do i think about how it'd feel like to be receiving the texts. think about would it be too much if someone was sending them to you?

also does she leave you at seen and just doesn't carry on the conversation, or does she just check her phone very rarely but answers when she does?

If you don't text your friends 15 times in a row, do you really care about them?
Bonus points for doing it at night too – there's nothing more wholesome than making sure your friends sleep soundly!

I find it obnoxious when I get 20 texts from one person in a row before I've had a chance to respond to them. I could understand if they were having some kind of emergency and were waiting for a prompt response but if it's just a "hey how are ya :^)" type text then fuck off. Sometimes I'm just away from my phone for a bit, taking a long nap or working on piles of homework so I can't always respond right away.

It doesn't mean I hate you or won't eventually respond to you, give the girl some time to pick up her phone instead of badgering her.

You have to pretend to be disinterested and aloof for anyone to want to speak to you. The moment you seem eager to communicate you break the unwritten rule of everyone needing to be a silent husk via text message. If you get anyone's number the key is to wait like 9 hours before ever replying to anything or else they stop texting you all together. Make sure to use 1 word responses strategically in order to not be annoying. It's the worst form of communication because it doesn't work like this in person or on any other platform.

>>16378
Unless you have a gas mask always handy, chemical weapons are not an effective method of self defence.

Letting everyone own guns is too dangerous. I'm glad there are very strict regulationes and you need to pass a test and get a licence to legally own a gun here.

>>16377
>Am I wrong for owning guns?

well it depends, do you plan on killing people or you want to have one to defend yourself if the worst happens? I would have a gun if I lived in a dangerous place and was on my own

>>16386
are you the anon who eats their boogers?

>>16399
Unlikely given your age.

Unless…. Unless….


I have a secret cousin? Both of our families have a hidden secret? :o

I've grown insensitive for toxicity online since most of it is just "edgy" (hate using that word) attempts at attention and supposed disguised banter but really a coping mechanism of sorts. So you can just be playing a mic video-game and some kid starts spamming "n%%@#-f%%@#" or says "spell dabbing backwards lol" and you just ignore or mute.

What really makes me angry though is when meme culture/discourse spreads outside towards websites where it has no business in; such as serious discussions and the like. Most commonly in youtube comments or subreddits completely unrelated to chan culture now starting to be spammed with memes with terrible histories behind them. I dont want to discuss say medieval history online and be bombarded with kids spamming "remove kebab lol". Twitch for instance is infamous for this but I guess it's due to the demographic age of it's audience and the historical demographics where it was targeted for.

>>17111
I'm not good with computers; but can those nicknames for here actually serve a purpose for redirecting people who have no business being here by making it harder to link threads here?

>>17112
from the words of someone here "CC is just one girl with 10 proxies talking to herself"

I started lurking LC early in 2018 in the depths of depression and school stress. I was suicidal and it was really bad at some points. It made me feel good to see other people get torn down and tbh get a few laughs. I still go look at 2-3 threads once and awhile for my fav cows, but I don't go as often anymore because it makes me sad. CC is less depressing and more comfy. I like it here.

>>17107
I work in engineering and at my last internship the male/female ratio was 10:3. This lead to a lot of harassment, odd and inappropriate comments, etc. I think it's just common in male-dominated fields because they don't know how to act around us.

Back when I worked a fast food job I had this coworker who would place his hands on my shoulders whenever he needed something, I hated it but didn't think it was big enough of a deal to complain about. A tap on the shoulder is ok with me to get my attention but what he was doing I found to be disgusting. He also kept trying to hit on me, men tend to complain that women are cruel when rejecting them but there is no choice since a soft rejection is ignored much of the time.

>>17138
I've found that all they need is a simple "I'm not interested, sorry." and they get it. Just be clear but polite and normal guys will stop. But if you don't say it explicitly they think you're just playing hard to get.

>>17150
“Normal guys” is the key. Some men are just born creeps and no amount of saying no will make them back off.

>>17096
>I don't know why when it comes to young men acting that way, it comes off as being immature, in which it sometimes is but that does not mean that they should be given some slack because they are younger. When they are in their 20's or even out of high school, they should know what the hell they are saying and doing…
No one said they should be cut slack, the harsher you are with them the better because 8/10 times they learn from the ignorant mistake. Sometimes people need a good verbal ass-kicking when they’re young so they can learn a quick lesson and grow into respectful adults.

That being said, while the young boy should obviously be reprimanded or punished for being a pig, it’s still somewhat more understandable for someone with a developing brain to be an idiot about manners as opposed to someone over 30 and especially over 60. It could just be that his parents never taught him when he was under their roof and had to get his ass handed to him elsewhere.

>>16039
Real pic whoops

>if a potential partner
I'd be grossed out at her taste and if we were not already dating, I'd feel nervous at the potential that she thinks I'm hot like that girl.

Let's say we were already together and I found out, I'd probably get over it and just make fun of her for not fucking a hot porn star.

Concept-wise, I am not bothered by this occurring in a partner's life.
>if my son
I'd also be grossed out at his taste and I'd feel a little more guilty about him developing such shit taste.

Concept-wise I also wouldn't care, as long as he was of legal age and wasn't trying to blast his social media with it.

>>16042
>I'd feel nervous at the potential that she thinks I'm hot like that girl.
Literally no one finds bimbo porn hags attractive except greasy old men.
>that fat stomach barely held in by fetish restraints
>those disgusting nails
>that bad tan
>those shitty tats
>those uneven roots
>those silicone tits
>that pore-clogging sludge all over her face
Her bone structure isn't even good enough to make up for it. The ONLY thing she has going for her is the fact that she puts out. Simply by avoiding these pitfalls, you're way more attractive to her, especially to lesbians.

>>17093
nta but I like bantering/playfully insulting my male friends but I could never do that with a partner.
He would be my treasure and life's purpose, why would I be mean to him at all? And vice versa. I would like to be seen as his support and would not take insults (unless valid criticisms) lightly.
Different strokes?

>He would be my treasure and life's purpose, why would I be mean to him at all?
Banter isn't "being mean", it's literally the opposite. It's a means of showing affection. This is middle school level stuff.

>>17119
Really? With my friends it usually consists of teasing each other for making stupid mistakes (calling each other idiots and dramatizing small incidents like someone dropping something), making fun of personal failings (like me not being able to get laid and my best friend making fun of me for constantly thirsting after men), or bringing up things that the other person is very openly distressed by (like body horror or certain types of porn).
Of course no one is offended by this, but I wouldn't do it to a partner because it still does have mean undertones. It's still laughing at someone, even if lovingly. I could never make fun of someone I love like that. I've never been able to do that to men who I've been attracted to.
Could also add this doesn't apply to all my male friends. One directly stated this sort of thing upsets him so I don't. Hastagnotallmen or whatever

>>17093

why do you assume it's banter aren't you just assuming here that she's in the wrong

clearly a male tbh

>>17119

banter totally is being mean when you know the other person will get upset by it and you refuse to respect their feelings. Respect other people and don't force your lifestyle onto them. This is elementary level stuff.

>>11436
Hey anon I've been there! What usually helps for me is breaking these herculean tasks into smaller, more doable tasks. That alone already helps in making things less scary. Then I usually schedule all the little tasks, estimating how long each one will take and planning when to do them. When doing this I take into account self-care and breaks to relax, and I take those as any other task.
Personally, it makes worlds of difference to me to have proof that everything can be done in time. Stick to your plans but also don't be afraid to change them, some flexibility will always be needed even though you should strive to follow your original plan as closely as possible.
It will be alright, you got this.

>>11436
>How do I stop feeling so overwhelmed with workload?
Idk how far along you are in school, but university was insurmountable for me when I first started. Things got seemingly easier in my junior year, I had a good idea of how long projects/studying took and how much effort I needed to put in to get the grade I wanted. Everyone I knew in school reached this point, too, so you'll get there, too.

>Yesterday I got 4 books at the library and upon seeing how much it is, I totally freaked. I need to read them and write 2 papers about them. I also have 3 exams coming up. I actually still got some time, the papers are due at the end of september and the exams are in the middle of october but I already feel as if time is running up.
It's no fun being stressed, but unfortunately I think that's just a part of the experience of school sometimes. Everyone gets a bit out of wits when midterms/finals come up. What >>11437 said is good advice. Some people like doing smaller/easier things first and leaving the long/hard things at the end so that they feel like they accomplished more. But I always did the things I dreaded most first, and leave easier things to end. Just my preference, figure out works for you!


>Whenever I have exams or just some project to do, I go into "study mode" completely: meaning I neglect my hygiene, my room looks like trash, I'm incredibly moody,
I was guilty of this, and looked like absolute trash, but didn't care because I just wanted to get as high as grades as possible. Sorry, I can't give you advice on that.

>but the worst thing is, that I don't even get that much shit done (instead I browse lc for example).
This used to be me! I found what helped was breaking up studying so that I would do something like study for 2 hours, then for 1 hour I'd watch a show or shitpost, and repeat as many times until I felt comfortable about the subject matter (or at least as much as I could handle).

>All the other students seem to be able to balance studying for a bit each day and also having some free time.
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>tfw the only thing really keeping me from this degree are my worries over whether i'll be smart enough for it

damn it i'll work hard and i know there'll be dull moments but i'm even excited for them? like i can't wait to be bored and figure out how shit works lol
i know that makes no sense!

but yeah in an hour i guess i'll settle down and study some

ahhhhh i'm excited?? but also apprehensive

OH my fucking GOD i just missed a few huge assignments in a class and my A may drop to a C? i've turned in everything else but i always forget about those online exams ffs! can't even be too angry at the teacher or anyone but myself bc i know i had weeks to do them, i just absolutely fucking forgot and i NEVER FUCKING check the online section for this course because i'm a dumbfuck

also in another class i've missed about 5 assignments lol. i should have a c (?) but i had an A for midterms because i guess he did not count them. sort of shamelessly asked if i could turn them in for late credit or something just in case he tries to go back and override my grade? i feel like scum but what else can i do lmfao

anyway i want to kill myself because of this laziness. or at least get a pill that will inspire me to work rather than fart around on the internet. my first semester was damn good but now i'm fucking up
at least my other courses are ok.

>>17078
The pills help for shit, sis
Boost you for up to 2 months and leave you permanently tired afterwards.
Don't go this route

I'm in a really similar spot. It's crazy that now I feel like I'm an adult and I've been separated from the overall abusive/suffocating situation for a few years that I finally realized just how messed up it all was. My antisocial behavior was a clear sign of me acting out because of my issues, but back then I thought it was normal. I really thought I was "okay" and my family was super close. Now I realize I was fucked in the head and my family is so damaged. I don't know what to do though because I've been a NEET for so long it's going to take awhile to get my shit together. I wish I was capable of being independent right now, because I just want to move out. It's weird trying to navigate my every day life with my family now that I've made some realizations.

>>16752
Suffocatong situation, that's so much it :( I wanted nothing more than to get out and not need to have anything to do with them any more, even before I started to fathom what was up. They will start to raise shit on Christmas again because "Family sees each other on CHristmas!!1!1 :'''( ", despite the fact that they do not really care about Christmas itself at all.

>>16599
>>16600
OP here, well, there actually were a lot of hints showing that my family was absolutely fucked.

The main usse being me, at age 11 or 12, just going through the house, when my dad came in from the front door, grabbed me without a word and french kissed me. ??? I broke free and ran, and it was never talked about again.

Then:
Porn scattered throughout the house, everywhere, me being forbidden to enter certain rooms with ridiculous reasoning only for me to find out later that there are enormous porn stashes hidden there
Him trying to download teen porn and fucking up his computer in the process
a fucking CHILD MOLESTER (as turned out later in the news) frequenting our house to fix our electronics (My father was always very proud of only ever ordering mechanics that he "personally knew", some "buddies of his", and ALL OF THEM were fucking creeps)
My dad always telling me how he looks forward of going out with me when I was grown, how everyone will be jealous at the nice young lady in his company
Him not betting an eye about nature documentaries that feature sex (And sometimes sex exclusively) and watching them with me
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>>16842
Not that anon, but holy shit. I am so sorry that happened to you. I got kinda sick reading that too. Good for you for cutting him out of your life. I hope you are able to get some good security measures for your home and keep him out of your shit, and/or find a fantastic job somewhere too far away for him to visit.

>They will start to raise shit on Christmas again because "Family sees each other on CHristmas!!1!1 :'''( ", despite the fact that they do not really care about Christmas itself at all.

I noticed that people who make tons of noise about how others should do what they want because "family does things for/with each other" are usually people whose families wouldn't have anything to do with them if they weren't blood. It's a guilt trip, and I think they do it because everybody else is sick of their shit and has stopped enabling them, so they play the family card because it's usually one of the more effective ones.

I have a brother who pulls that shit, and I actually came to this thread to talk about how it took me til well into adulthood to acknowledge his bullying and emotional abuse for what it was (it wasn't severe or anything, the worst part of it was that I picked up a bunch of his shitty behavior patterns and have had to deprogram myself). But his dumb bullshit is miniscule in comparison to what you went through.

Your mom sounds like a terrible person too, and you don't owe her a goddamn thing. Either she knew and she looked the other way, or she's so completely broken herself that she was blind to it. Either way you have enough on your plate without her. She sounds manipulative. Manipulation is part and parcel of any kind of abuse, and like you said, if you grow up with it, it just seems normal and it's so hard to get out of that mindset.

I hope you succeed in keeping all your toxic relatives out of your life and building a better family of friends and other people who are worth associating with.

>>16842
Would you happen to be the anon whose dad left cookies in her drivers seat, came into her house uninvited and was just very overbearing and clingy almost to a stalker level?

Also, the person who molested me looked at porn a lot too. He started touching me in awkwardly intimate ways started at 12 years old, it turned explicitly sexual at 15. Sorry anon.

As fucked up as it sounds, every other girl I've met that was sexually abused happened to be a very special person(in a positive sense). You're probably a special soul too.

>>16943
Yeah, I have flamed about him before. :( Thanks though. I try to live up to it!

>>16937
<3! Yeah my mom is a chapter on its own, but manipulative hits the nail on the head, when I went NC with her the first time she drank herself blackout drunk (and made a point to tell me as son as we spoke again). The sad thing is that she really puts a lot of effort into stuff having to do with my kids… but do I need that when I get sick every time I see her? Probably not.

>>16742
>we've become pretty good friends
>he seems to have been dumped within the past 6 months
Youre pretty good friends but you dont know his relationship status?

Regardless, I think you should just keep being a good friend to him, and dont "push it". Just let your relationship grow organically and if it happens, it happens.

Maybe add another note saying “do not remove” or let the cleaners know about the situation. I would probably look up support for stopping modern day slavery / human trafficking in your country too, just incase it is serious, as you might be able to get some support. Good luck anon.

>>16680
what show is that?

>>16680
Check in the morning, if the notes are gone, make a new one.

>>16703
Not OP, but this is from Yu Yu Hakusho