/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Share any positive feelings or positive things.

Garden your soul garden.
Every focus is infinite multiverses.
Keep watering the ideas/plants that make you feel the loveliest love


Here’s a thing that has made me feel so good and is important to me:
Thousands of Polska girls and Belarus girls are covering my NorthAmerican city with graffiti. They’ve somehow clearly gotten the idea to all become collectively like a splatoon. It has changed the energy immensely and really improved the omnipresent feminism quality~level vibe. These girls have religions about ancient euro queens and it really shows, lots of ethereal stuff.. I see so many soulful girls are more comfortable loitering around and making anywhere a party! That’s SO important! Sovl

tfw there's a girl who's so ethereally beautiful that you lose your breath when you look at her but you're a cockroach who flees from the sun

havent posted on here in atleast a year or so but im hoping someone can give me some advice because i srsly dont know how to approach this any longer.

for context, my dad passed away right before my 13th birthday & its been a couple years since then so the grief is not too much for me
but ive been living with my mom and siblings since then until about 3 years after my fathers passing my mom moved a (friend of my fathers) into the home after speaking to him for only a month

its been awhile since this happened, and you would expect things would settle down but it feels as if its only gotten worse

ive been subjected to emotional and physical abuse by both my mother and her boyfriend, though her boyfriend is typically to himself

but my mom has become increasingly more narcissistic and aggressive over the years, often telling me and my young siblings she wished she never had kids

shes rarely home, and only takes out time for herself often leading to me watching and taking care of my siblings AND her boyfriend’s daughter whenever she is there too

all my mother does is belittle me and tell me i will amount to nothing but shes never helped me. taught me no life skills, doesnt believe in therapy or medication, everything ive done ive accomplished with my own spirit

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Who would have known. Turns out that my paranoid unhealthy bullshit is a detriment to my character. I have lost my only true close friend because of a falling out and it seems that I have lost contact with them so no matter how much I want to try to make amends, it won't happen. It takes a lot of conscious effort for me to truly be close to someone because I am scared of not being in control of my feelings and letting my paranoid delusions get to me, and I thought maybe this would be different despite the issues between us (we both don't have the best mental health.) But it turns out, not really. I've always been isolated from my peers ever since childhood. I don't work; I got an informal job before but my cognition wasn't up to it. My hobbies are mostly isolated like drawing and writing. I've always had a lonely life. Friends come and go, but it seems they always go in the most painful ways possible. I always had looming dread whenever I had this close relationship, even when my friend was as nice and understanding as possible, like I was not enjoying it at all or being conflicted about being happy or scared. But at least despite that, I was a bit more in control of my emotions and my friend made me smile a lot. But now, everything is a mess. It might take a while to be more stable, but this is nothing new to me. Maybe I should just keep to myself more, and I should just be more accepting of an isolated life.

Since my husband died 3 years ago, my MIL has:

>Shown up at my house
>Called my work 3 separate occasions and told them I was arrested for prostitution
>Knocked at my neighbours house to ask for info about my activities, accused me of having a party
>destroyed anything I leave at his grave
>Opened up letters I left at his grave and acted scandalised by the contents
>Called every member of my family and friend to drunk-rant about how we all caused his death
>Every family member has blocked her on every app, since once she's blocked one place she migrates to another
>Demanded his friends stop talking to me and uninvited me from the funeral
>Called or threatened police on me multiple times
>Threatened me with lawyers over possessions of his I don't have and threatened me with police because I attend his grave
>Periodically unblocks me on instagram to tell me I'm a cunt/waste of oxygen/disgusting and then blocks me before I can block her
>All of my family have a no reply and block policy in place for her
>Asked journalist to suppress his diaries because they painted me in a good light which threatens her narrative that I abused him (aka used reasonable firmness to take his drugs off him. He died of an OD)
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What do you do when you run out of things to talk about and they're not interested anymore?

Anyone else just accept the fact that they'll never have a husband and kids? How do you cope?

my OCD is killing me rn pls can someone talk me down from the panic

asleep, i’m paralyzed by your dreams
in delusions, i hunt for diamonds

asleep, i’m crazed by a gentle violence
asleep, i’m unaware of right or wrong
in delusions, i tear the flesh from your past
in delusions, i sew that flesh onto mine

asleep, i’m falling into envy-induced sickness
in delusions, i’m nothing–just another sweet tooth for you

The breeze a gift//Life in a breath always ephemeral//The post office returned all my letters//Does the pollen sleep or is it destroyed//I know you took nothing with you//Though where did you leave my heart//Pain is not ephemeral//The flower will die again and again//I stand tall waiting for another boot