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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 09/13/2020


Seducing guys as a fat girl Anonymous 39949[Reply]

Any advice? Even when I'm asking them out they seem to be unsure or just plain not wanting to go out on dates
54 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 52512

and the thing is, increasingly, marriage doesn't lock down men anymore. I've noticed more and more moids who are told to just leave women if they don't measure up. it's shitty but both ends are kinda shitty. it's just worse that the moid would leave after he says till death does us part

Anonymous 54233


Not if you're living in Japan, that's for sure

Anonymous 54235

blessed image.png

Lose the fucking weight. If she can, you can.

Anonymous 54239

You shouldn’t be the one asking guys out. Go online and you’ll find some chubby chasers there. Do not pursue. Let the guy pursue you. I didn’t read all the comments ITT but take care of your hygiene. Take showers daily, wear a fresh set of clothes, make sure you are clean and don’t smell. Another thing is to smile. Good luck.

Anonymous 54242



The strength of men scares me Anonymous 31526[Reply]

I am a caddy for my part time job (best job for an unskilled highschooler or university student btw). There is this cute guy there I have a crush on, but he seems quite shy and just likes to read his book while waiting for a golfer. The few times we’ve talked he seems quite pleasant.

I’ve always known men were stronger than us, but it’s another thing to see it in person. I’ve noticed that when he caddies, he carries the entire golf bag with one arm by the handle up and out to his side, kind of like the pose when flexing your bicep, and he fucking SPRINTS with it. He runs ahead on each hole to see where the ball lands, and he runs significantly faster than the golf carts.

He doesn’t even look like some sort of muscle beast from /fit/. He’s just a tall, thin, toned guy who might lift a few times a week. He could probably kill me with a single punch, and then follow up with 80 more without running out of breath. I would probably have a panic attack if we got in an argument and he got angry and started shouting. I don’t even know how you could have an equal relationship with someone when the difference in power is so immense. They say it’s borderline rape when a CEO fucks an intern due to the difference in power, but what about physical power?

I was already a little afraid of men’s predatory instincts and behavior, but to see it reinforced that whenever I’m around men I’m only alive because they permit it freaks me out. How do you cope with this?
497 posts and 65 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 54232

She's not wrong about the concerns for male vs female soldiers, but I'm pretty sure the conversation was only about self-defense anyway.

Anonymous 54234

Women in general pretty much never commit large-scale/terrorist-type attacks like mass shootings and bombings.
I think it'd be more telling to see the statistics for the number of gun homicides as a percentage of total gun owners of either gender.

Anonymous 54310

men can be scary, i agree, but this is just paranoia. if you are that scared you could always take self defence courses.

Anonymous 54373

based and commonsense pilled

Anonymous 54417

The thing about moids is that, like wild animals they will just not risk injury. A predator in the wild doesn't leave when you make yourself look big because it thinks it's gonna get killed but because they can't afford to get injured fighting you and then look for more food. Moids function the same way. If you look like >>51503 or >>51112 99% of them will just not risk trying to assault you.

doomer girl.png

Anonymous 50471[Reply]

When did you discover that you were unatractive?
75 posts and 11 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 54183

In fairnes… You don't exactly come across as funny or goofy given your writing, now do you?

Anonymous 54184

Men are intimidated by attractive people just as women are.
Also men know nothing about makeup etc. and so are unlikely to notice the actual effort involved. They'll just notice you look better.
Kind of like how if a man gets a haircut or shaves you might not realise why he looks better, only that he does.

It's both. And you represent yourself will garner different kinds of male attention. Signals you give off might imply something sexual.
Effort or looking like a "good" girl might make them see you as more of a potential long term partner.
Just being actually attractive will probably just get you more of both.
Coloured hair (like a whacky colour) is a huge red flag for males. It doesn't make them think you're "fun" it makes them think you're slightly crazy and therefore probably very easy.
In fairness to them it's for good reason too. Sudden change of hair styles etc. are a sign of poor mental health. It's a desire for change - i.e. because something isn't going well or bad happened.
I just can't envision a young moid ever actually saying "she's not pretty". That isn't how they speak. I'm sure it was implied, but they're much more lewd than that in groups - you must be misremembering.

Anonymous 54194

This right here. Only happened once though. They stopped after I got visibly annoyed with them and told them no. Turns out it's not funny if you can't make a girl cry I guess.

Anonymous 54201

>That isn't how they speak.
By the way anon types, she seems Russian (or something similar, sorry if you're Georgian anon), so maybe what they actually said was lost in translation. Or maybe the cultures are different and people are more direct over there, wouldn't surprise me.

Anonymous 54229

In junior high a guy sat next to me on reces and told: Anon, you have pretty eyes… but the rest of your face doesn't do it for me. Then he laughted at me with my classmates.

In a hobby I told my friend about my crush on a guy. My friend told this to a friend of that crush and he came to me and explained with very annoyed tone how I didn't deserve to even have a crush on his friend since I was so ugly. He also told me every flaw on my body and how akward I was. I have never felt any doubt about my ugliness since then.


Cant fucking sleep Anonymous 52748[Reply]

For weeks now I can't stay asleep. I went to my doctor but she gave me some bullshit about it being my meds when I hadn't changed my meds and after adjusting them the way she wanted it still didn't help. I changed literally nothing about my life, I moved my tv out of my room and am taking melatonin. I still go on my phone before bed but 1) that's my alarm 2) who fucking doesn't? I used to fall asleep to the tv and sleep through the night. Help girls.. I'm going crazy.
7 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 52762

Oh almost forgot
8. Start doing some form of cardio during the day. I don't care what it is, it should exhaust you. Don't do it before bed, you should probably do it at the start of the day.

Anonymous 52773

>who fucking doesn't go on their phone before bed
Not many, but that's exactly why insomnia has become an epidemic recently.
This is like a fat person saying eating mcdonald's isn't responsible for obesity because "who doesn't eat it?"
I recommend minimizing screen time and installing blue light filters on all your devices and "night mode" on internet browsers. Helps if you have dark colored backgrounds/wallpapers, too.
Make sure you consume any caffeine only in the morning.
Do cardio exercise every day, but not too close to bed time.
Don't eat too much before bed, either, since food gives you energy.
Try listening to an audiobook or a guided meditation before bed. You could also try reading a physical book (not on screen), since the eyestrain makes you sleepy. But stick to fictional stories, since those get you into the "daydream" or "hypnotic" state which is closer to sleep. Reading a math textbook or something that makes you think too hard rather than just spacing out can make you more awake.
Hope that helps anon!

Anonymous 52774

Also try taking a multivitamin daily. If you're not getting enough of certain micronutrients, like iron, vitamin d, b12, etc. that can make your brain not work properly and possibly cause sleep issues.
A lot of people say taking calcium/magnesium before bed helps them relax and stay asleep, too.

Anonymous 54224

OP here, I've tried some of this advice out (including the phone thing, the analogy with fat people and junk food helped a lot lol) and it's actually helping.
You girls are saving my life.

Anonymous 54227

This is what I did when I couldn't sleep. I got into a pattern where I would only fall asleep when I was actually exhausted about 4-5am. And after a few hours of sleep I'd wake up. It was because I was living the NEET life without any responsibilities or commitments at that time.

So I started going for runs or taking super super long walks in the evening so I'd be really physically tired, and that got me sleeping at an earlier time and eventually I was able to get back in a good pattern.


Birthday Thread Anonymous 52847[Reply]

Are your birthdays sad and lonely? Are they happy and with friends? In this thread we tell how we spend our birthdays.
12 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 54165

I used to spend my birthdays alone, but I recently moved in with a housemate and on my birthday he actually baked me a black forest cake and invited me to watch some movies with his friends. Strangers gathered around to sing happy birthday and bought me some expensive champagne. I think he knows I'm lonely and just wanted to include me so I didn't feel left out of his movie night. It may be pity, but it cheered me up and that cake was so rich and delicious.

Anonymous 54187

Happy birthday!

Anonymous 54223

I used to hate birthday parties and thankfully my last one kicked ass so I'm over the fear but. For my 16th birthday my "best friend" bailed to hang out with their other friend they liked more. For my 21st my newer "best friends" were too drugged out on xans to even show up. Thankfully last year everyone actually showed up so I guess I'm getting better at picking who to befriend.

Anonymous 54225

My birthday is tomorrow and I will be completely alone lol. Honestly, I don't really mind it I'm pretty old now and bdays just aren't a big deal.

Anonymous 54226

i have no idea how i'll spend my 22nd, hopefully i'll be getting drunk ^_^ or high


confessions thread Anonymous 51270[Reply]

i tell my dentist that i floss regularly even though i dont
99 posts and 16 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 54095

i thought everyone did this

Anonymous 54199

But this is how the real world is usually. Even if a woman isn't innocent she's rarely capable of being as evil as a moid

Anonymous 54215

oh wow me too
I'm not joking

Anonymous 54217

You ditched a real person for video game people? But it was your partner with the mental disorders?
You avoided and ignored your partner, in favour for video games.
You should feel bad, you probably made the relationship just as bad for them as they did for you. they're probably going to avoid people like you like the plague now.

Anonymous 54218

I mean anon didn't elaborate, the other person could have sucked too.


Anonymous 48622[Reply]

I'm half mexican half white but i have a goblin black-tier nose and tan skin. I was thinking about getting a nose job and bleaching my skin after i lose some weight

Pic related is the ideal look I'm going for, I kind of feel guilty for wanting this. Does this mean I have internalized racism? or does it mean I just want to be more attractive.. idk
35 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 54154

I'm literally not, it's a well known fact that asian women have flatter/shorter noses than white women, a lot of kpoop starts even get surgery or nose bridge implant to make their noses taller and pointier.
There are racist japanese commercials that do white face, and you know one of the things they use for that? A tall prosthetic nose.
If you're trying to look neotenous, a flatter nose is better. Babies tend to have flat noses, not tall, thin, pointy noses.

Anonymous 54155

It’s so creepy how you keep mentioning that Asian women look like babies, and odd that you think makeup trends are proof of them having smaller noses (anyone with eyes can see this isn’t true.)

Anonymous 54167

I'm asian myself kek and I'm not saying they look like literal babies overall, just that one feature of theirs looks more neotenous than than that same feature on a typical white person.
Only reason I mentioned that is I was responding to a person who was saying that neoteny (LITERALLY LOOK UP THE DEFINITION OF THIS WORD) is the feminine ideal.
Also, having a flatter nose isn't a makeup trend wtf.
I think it's way creepier how people in this thread keep insisting that white people naturally have the shortest, most neotenous noses when that clearly isn't true, while also insisting that neoteny is the ideal (something I don't agree with).

Anonymous 54191

When people think of “smaller noses,” they don’t think of the wide flat black/asian noses. They think of the little upturned noses that white people sometimes have.

Anonymous 54198

Black/Asian have wider noses. To white people, this is a big nose.

White people have taller noses. To Asian people, this is a big nose.

cat pack.jpeg

Friend groups Anonymous 54157[Reply]

I have friends, but I don't have any friend group.
I haven't since the first year of uni, and even then, it wasn't really serious.

Here I always see people talking about their friend groups, like they'e hanging out in packs. it seems really wieird to me, since I hang out with 2 friends at the same time at most, except during parties.
Most of my friends have divergent interests, mindsets, political opinions, or are in bad terms.

Am I the only one in that situation ? Is it weird ? How do you get along with so many people at once ?

How do you deal with potential drama in friend groups ? I'm asking because most people in their 20s I know have had their friend groups collapse because of petty drama.

Anonymous 54158

by friend groups it's just a bunch of people sitting in discord

imo i don't think it's worth it because the main people attracted to them are ones who love drama

Anonymous 54159

I’ve never had many friends.
When I was young it was always too much drama. Also, I’m very introverted. So now I just have like one friend or two at most.
I’ve always been a one-on-one person, too. I can’t keep up with multiple conversations. I don’t know if it’s my hearing, my adhd, or what but I always find it so frustrating that I can’t hear parts of the conversation well or I can’t hear it at all that I end up becoming quiet. I always thought it was weird to me to have a bunch of friends too. You’re not alone.


How to handle Tumblr/Twitterflakes in friend circles? Anonymous 52703[Reply]

I miss my old friend and I want to talk to her more but she hangs out only with her FGO friend circle which is…Rather a questionable one. It has only two types of people:

- People who genuinely believe in millions of Tumblr-created, made up sexualities and shit like unicorn gender, because they think that English-speaking internet is cool and elite.

- Fujos or FGO coomers. I remember one of them tried asking me to have a threesome with him and the other girl.

The thing is, I am highly desperate for a friend circle or a group that speaks my native language (because I started forgetting it) and I just miss my friend, even though we don't speak too much anymore. The reasoning why we barely speak is because the first type of people made her feel convinced that she can use her Bipolar Syndrome as an excuse for anything she does. They also encouraged her dropping out of her university and sitting on her mother's neck at home, they all are convinced that they will become rich off drawing on the internet. It honestly hurts me how she tries ruining her life, but there's nothing much I can do. I still miss her.

I do not know if I really should trying getting into her circle because I can't stand tumblrflakes if they are super radical about their shit (I do not give a fuck if someone labels themselves as anything, but when they convince people and brainwash them onto their ideologies and put labels onto everything, I can't stand it) but I do not know where else to go and I'd feel more comfortable being around someone I know.
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 52902

i can't do it. i joined a music discord server related to a specific genre i enjoy but everyone there acted like a crazy person and they were all dating each other in these weird trans polyamory e-orgies and… ugh

Anonymous 52904

Whats your first language?

Anonymous 54094

holy fuck anon my friends are exactly like the first one it's a fucking nightmare, i really need to get a new circle but i'm horrible at making friends and have loneliness issues and the idea of just dropping a friend circle and being alone terrifies me

Anonymous 54129

There's no way to handle it. If you join their friend group you'll just be kicking yourself, stuck with a foot in your mouth.

Anonymous 54139

better to be alone than hang out with shitty people who do not contribute to your happiness!


I don't want to exist Anonymous 52784[Reply]

Not death. This isn't some suicidal cry for help or anything. I just don't want to exist. I want to sit outside of time and watch everybody I love live happy lives, and I want to be able to push them along the right paths to make sure that happens. I don't want to interfere with anybody else, I just want to watch people live and make mistakes and fall in love and whatever else…

God. I really don't want to exist. It's too much sometimes. The only time I don't feel like I exist is when I'm dancing. I know that sounds weird.

Ah. This suddenly strikes me as stupid.
1 post and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 52794


there's a character from an old anime who was like that too. He fought to make a wish that he didn't exist, but that's all I remember.

Anonymous 52865

I used to feel like this. Recently I moved on to having a homebody dream. I'm in uni for a major where I can work from home. I met a great guy too, and I can socialize with him and when we have kids I can see life via them. I would still exist, but the reality is being at the home all the time would see the world pass me by in the same way. But it's not as passive as your feelings.

Anonymous 52881

You don't want to not exist, you want to be an immortal disembodied observer. Too bad though, to be an observer is to be temporal.

Anonymous 54127

the idea of children and being a housewife used to appease me but these days I just really don't want to be here in any way.

does the distinction matter? I guess I'd better be specific if I ever run into some wish granting demon or lamp imprisoned genie.

Anonymous 54130

this is exactly what i wish for..to be a sort of ghost..being able to be by the side of the people i care about.. to help them without them knowing of my ghost presence

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