/feels/ - Advice & Venting

I don't have many friends or acquaintances left

Maybe a voluntary group? But my closest friends are chan acquaintances

If you hate texting just tell about it in the beginning. That way you won't set yourself up for failure

book club

MeetUp

>>117860
Nona…I wasn’t able to keep up with my word. I came back to him. Now I feel trapped. I have an invisible chain on me. It hurts. I only feel valued and happy when I’m with him. I’m destroying myself.

>>117567
are you dating waster LOL

>>117567
>had sex once
He's defiled forever. Should be a con, not a pro.

>>117907
About 10 years ago I'd say you're dating a loser 4channer weirdo or a internet obsessed dark rp player, but these days… I'd say that's one of the more normal relationships in todays post-internet world. Nothing fake, nothing ego-centric, just two people navigating life together. Hope you two have lots of time improving together.

>>117911
where would I find another man who loves me truly and wants to commit?
everywhere and anywhere, nona. i promise you that you can find many guys who fit those criteria. you can go back to school and get a degree, going back to school will also allow you to be around many other guys. if you feel unhappy with him, that is. if you actually feel happy with him, genuinely so, then it is your decision to stay

This was circa 2020, in the throes of corona virus when there was lots of places closed and restrictions on crowds etc. Bf and I got take away food, I baked some slices and we drove to the mountains bordering my city and spent a couple of hours stargazing/teaching ourselves how to take long exposure pics of the Milky Way whilst we had a picnic. He has a Ute so we lay down in the back and watch a few comets go by.

Honestly one of the best nights of my life.

Does staying home, doing drugs and fucking like rabbits count as a date?

not really creative, but probably the most interesting first date
>plan to meet in the city and get a coffee in the morning
>have hot chocolate and churos
>walk along the foreshore and talk
>it starts to rain, he breaks into a construction site so we can wait it out
>go hang out in the city, just walking around, taking pictures for my art blog and seeing things
>my ribs ache from how much he made me laugh
>take a train together
>there's a problem with the track so we have to get off and walk to our final stop
>run from overzealous security when we take a shortcut
>talk about some pretty serious things and I'm kind of exhausted so I'm just honest about my trauma
>hold hands and he gives me his backpack to shield myself from another downpour
>run into a movie theatre
>get some drinks and immediately fall sleep on his shoulder in the dark
>he thinks I want to go home and mentions his place is nearby, so walking me back won't be a problem
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>116666
I usually just go on hikes, long walks, and eat out at restaurants or cafes for my dates.

Don't know what movie fantasies ya;'ll be living, but count me jelly.

>>116666
i want to lure and kill a man after having sex

the only friend i have within hours of me recently told me she didn't want to talk to me or hang out anymore because i was "affecting her spiritually." we went from close friends to complete strangers in like 2 weeks. i don't even know what she was talking about since she never had a problem with me being spiritual (not even atheist, just not a church person) before that.
so now its almost halloween, i'm 23, and i have zero friends to hang out with and zero prospects. i wish i was dead. i hate being a sperg woman

>>118094
I'm not a big fan of him texting his ex but she lives abroad.
They have been friends before they were dating and remained friends afterwards

He probably cheats too. You'll found out sooner or later. This type of people always cheat

>>118098
So is he a virgin or not?

>>118092
he didn't mention you or your friend again to her for another 6 months? it's probably fine. early stages, as you said.
but what did you want to have happen going through his phone and searching your name?

Having an "ex" as a "friend" is a straight up red flag.
Be better, breakup, you will regret it later on if you don't move out

>>115508
Wtf?? Pinkpill is gonna increase the manlet population and thus increasing my chances of finding a manlet bf?!?
Dedicating my entire life to it right now

>>115603
Why are you struggling with this kek? Just ask out some qt manlets. Or just show interest in them. Or is there is a manlet shortage where you live?

I think it's hot when a man is tit height.

>>112769
If anything humans are probably losing sexual dimorphism. The thing being that a lot of differences, mainly in physical strength, height, etc. just aren't necessary anymore or are an active hindrance.

>>118072
They'll lose them if women stop selecting for those traits in men. Humans are actually likely to experience even more runaway evolution. Runaway evolution is when traits are so overdeveloped they become unhealthy, but are these way because females are increasingly attracted to men who stand out sexually. Examples are peacock feathers and moose antlers. Now that there's really no natural pressure on humans because of medicine, agriculture and so on, humans are free to accelerate down the runway into God knows what forms in the future.

>>115834
School doesn't matter
Just pass and then you can do the real stuff which is work
I think you can do it

As long as your passing your classes you're good. Literally everyone cheats in class given the opportunity. Most people forget what they learn, when they get into the actual work field is when you ACTUALLY learn something.

You are definitely good enough for nursing. You can overcome and figure it out. You may want to try and talk to some other nurses and try to see if you can piece together a study group as part of your study schedule. This helps with keeping yourself accountable.

>>115834
In situations like these I always think to myself "If you weren't good enough for this, you wouldn't even be in this position rn."
You got into the uni, now it's up to you to not to throw it away. In technically speaking you can totally make it, just don't depend on the mindset of "It'll all work out somehow" (like I did the first two semesters). You will have to put in some effort. View your mom's expectations as motivation. Idk if that works for you but I somehow always perform better when I know someone thinks I won't make it.
A thing that helped me with studying was going to places outside of my room to study, essentially to not get distracted. Another thing that might help you is to get into learning groups. Try to not overwork yourself tho. Prioritize health > grades > free time. I tried to not prioritize health for the first two semesters and I really messed with my hormones. Not having enough sleep/meals/exercise can really fuck with your body. In my case I had visible signs i couldn't ignore but even if you just have skin breakouts or massive black circles, looking unhealthily pale could be indicators. Your body will take it's revenge sooner or later.
Some might say it's not healthy to put spare time last in your list but tbh I already quite enjoy cooking and exercising + self care is relaxing to me and I usually like getting out of my room to go to some learning area and maybe buy some snacks too. If you're not like super stressed just set a specific time after which you completely stop studying. Like if studying after 7pm doesn't really do anything for you, just stop right there and you have the whole evening to you. By doing this you also kind of have that first work, then reward thing going which many of us sadly didn't properly learn as children.
Anyway as I said it's technically very much doable and as you got into the uni you're obviously qualified, the rest just comes down to time management, so make sure you find something that works for yourself (if you're not using those already methods like time blocking or a pomodoro timer might help).

How's it going, nona?

why did she leave you?

>>117873
I was too obsessed with her because I thought she loved me too

if you say you're incapable of achieving it, then you will be. you have to make the reality you want.

>>118010
????
>>118012
I try to stay positive and confident but sometimes my self esteem just takes a crash that I can't come back from. Especially when I fail at forming a connection, it feels like it defines me and my future

>>118015
How is anything I posted unhinged are you retarded

>>118015
>>118020
Oh my god shut up moid.(YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US)

>>118021
HANK! DONT FORGET RULE 7, HANK!

>>117951
…I’m not a man. I’m seriously suffering because of emotional dependency and there’s no genuine advice so far. Saying “oh the solution is so obvious just stop suffering lmao” isn’t a refreshing perspective. This site has become gradually more violent and paranoid. The type of people that continuously engage in comment section’s cat fights.

>>117962
Sorry but there are a lot of men who come on here and write desperate pictures of insane women to troll this board.

Anyhow maybe you could do something like put all that clingyness aside for a while and try a new approach. Don't show ANY kind of fixation on him that he can see. Become really emotionally detached to everything he does. I'm not saying completely reject him but only give him little bits of attention. (Get very good at acting distant. Research it online if you have to, until you have no more questions about it) This way he starts to get paranoid of you pulling away which pulls him more into you. Also go outside and get a job. Just apply for anything to get yourself out of the house, out of your mind, so you can buy some nice things for yourself, save some money, make friends etc.

And I'm dead serious about keeping up this act where you are semi-distant. Be extremely good at it. I mean obviously you drop him some bones here and there and keep him happy enough but make him work for your attention. This will make him obsessed with you lol.

But remember this only works if you do it right. You've GOT to understand how much clingyness can actually really dull a person's attraction to you.
Thats probably what you're experiencing. He's probably overwhelmed by that and getting slightly turned off. But you can still fix it before things get bad. If you act emotionally disconnected and never emotionally react to things you will be much much much better off.

Seriously can you go back to school or get a job?

whenever you get a voice in your head that say he's going to betray you, and it makes you want to lash out to escape the feeling, you should probably try your best to ignore them and hold on to things in reality that keep you grounded. things that anchor you so you dont lose your mind. i think it would help to have a hobby to cling on to whenever youre alone so it consumes your mental energy rather than your insecurities ending up consuming you. i wanna say great that you still do chores and go to the gym despite barely having any energy before nona so congrats on that. i think if you try everyday you will get further than you realise even when it feels like the world is crashing down. a therapist like others have said would be good to help you with this if thats something available to you. its easier when you rely on others to kind of help you mentalize around your disorders for you.

so basically my advice to become empowered and gain your sense of self again
>unempower your emotions
>distract yourself with hobbies/interests
>hold on to facts/things in reality that keep you grounded
>find a therapist to help work you through this
this might sounds weird but some people personify their emotions/voices as being another person thats trying to destroy their lives, so maybe you could pretend its this to help you go against and idenitfy your feelings of extreme self doubt and jealousy whenever they happen. honestly its great that youre aware of your behaviour and willing to change it even though you know it causes others (and yourself) suffering so its a good first step. good job.
>if he chose to stay with me and give another opportunity to us, why hes so cold? why I had to beg him to message me more often?
he knows how much you can hurt him now, so hes instinctively putting distance between you and his emotions to protect himself. its a human reaction. i think if he still wants to be with you after everything that then its still a good sign. so dont give up nona. i get the sense i have to say this though, if it doesnt work out, your emotions may be telling you its the end of your life, but the reality is you can find someone else even of it doesnt seem like it. please dont cut or kill yourself before then - especially not over a man. im not on my meds rn so i hoped i made sensPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

we're complete opposites
>>117979

>>117967
>Seriously can you go back to school or get a job?
I will. I definitely will. I want to start working next week and studying next year.
As for the rest, I think the push and pull involved in that dynamic is exhausting. Especially if it doesn't come from me naturally because I have so much love for him and almost no pride. Plus I know that at this point, when he's already busy and focused on other things, he wouldn't notice my distance. Hell, he himself started communicating less for that reason. Not because he wanted to catch my attention with indifference in some twisted mind game. Admittedly, I have to tone it down, because I'm acting like a fangirl around him. It feels like entering the honeymoon phase all over again, but only for me. All nervous and desperate for him. If I don't talk to him, he won't talk to me. If I control myself to the limit and don't text him for 6 hours, which will be a huge victory for me, for him it will be routine. Thanks for trying to help me but that method isn’t sustainable for me.
>>117979
Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. It feels so good to have a stranger acknowledge your effort no matter how small it may seem. You are so sweet. Today I tried to carry out two of your principles, including connecting with an online therapist. It went well. I also tried to focus on reality instead of fantasies, but it’s so hard to keep my imagination quiet. I mean, yesterday I spent part of the day with my boyfriend and before I got to his house the nervousness and anxiety were so extreme that I just wanted to end it all. I was about to send myself to urgency (wtf…). Then, when we parted ways, I felt like the happiest and most fulfilled woman in the world. Until today, of course, that I’m waiting again for his texts with pathological impatience. He left work 1 hour ago, but he doesn't say anything to me. He gave the relationship another chance, but I feel like he doesn't give us another chance. Otherwise, why wouldn't he even remember that I exist to send me a little text? Even after I said to him I greatly appreciate small texts telling me what he’s doing/going to do. I blame myself every day for the damage I did to get him to this point. Just like you said, he’s damaged. He’s hurt. But we were supPost too long. Click here to view the full text.