/feels/ - Advice & Venting

My question is why even be with a moid who’s asexual? What even is the point?

>>128037
Because I love him and he loves me? There's much more to relationships to sex, which we will in fact eventually end up having by the way. I just want to wait till marriage. All I have to say is at least by dating a guy that doesn't need sex I don't have to worry about pleasing him all the time.

>>128016
He has expressed an interest in me sexually, and we have experimented in a few ways, but we have never gone so far as to have penetrative sex or oral. He almost ate me out but I changed my mind before he could actually get to that part. He does feel arousal but if I had to explain, for him it's rare and when it happens it either takes a long time or it comes from something simple yet not sexual in nature.

>>128014
We've been together a few months, not that long though. I don't really want to bring it up because I don't feel like it's necessary really. I have been more open to asking what he's been up to.

Depends on the source of the issues
It’s normal to be a bit anxious when you’re young imo and it gets fixed by more exposure
If the anxiety is very debilitating and doesn’t leave easily it could be trauma based
Also sometimes the person just keeps objectively fucking up these situations which causes feelings of inferiority , maybe a cognitive or health issue, maybe something else, at that point you need a different solution

But at any of these points what helps is having more social support, always

For me it was just exposure therapy. I needed money so I got a job and it was actual hell at first but over time you're forced to experience the socialization over and over again until you get a bit better at dealing with it.

There aren’t many methods of coping posted here which is very depressing. Is it possible to not care about this, even temporarily, without convincing yourself that you’re pretty? I find myself being upset about this every waking minute, even when I’m completely alone where it shouldn’t matter.

I hate having a wide face, I can’t even tie my hair back or put it behind my ears because I look like the moon emoji and charlie kirk. picrel

>>127744
> Is it possible to not care about this, even temporarily, without convincing yourself that you’re pretty?
Dear nona, I have some insights for you, do with them as you please. I want you to look back to yourself, as a child. Do you have any pictures to look at, or can you picture yourself in your mind? When you look at her, I hope, you probably think she's quite cute, still happy. I hope, you wouldn't say such harsh things about her, as what you may tell yourself now.

You might think how that's way different. You're older now! And you're right. What was the age you started becoming self conscious? For me it was pre-teen, I think this is similar for everyone, perhaps teen years. While we grow up, and our brains develop, we can process our life experiences and become aware of certain expectations. This is my insight: Unfortunately all suffering and misery can be led back to other people, and the pressure of the expectations they hold. I'm not necessarily talking about a certain person in your life, but how all people basically act and think due to how our society is set up. (and remember: women are, still, always at a disadvantage!!)

So When you feel sad/or are picking yourself apart, think about why? It isn't even making you happy! So why are you doing it? try to remember when you learned to see that aspect of yourself as negative, or even 'important' to think about. A nose is made for breathing for example, why do we care if it small or big? You will find out it will always be due to ideas from other people (either direct or indirect), and even though you can't do anything about this, it does redirect the 'fault' from you, to, well, others. This has made me at least feel better, because I, nor you, don't have any inherent faults or uglyness. It is always a result of societal pressures.

And social media doesn't help this at all. unfortunately the majority of people you see online are -in terms of beauty- exceptional. You don't see these people in regular life, but online it's become 'normalized'. It is a bit cliche, but recently I have completely deleted all social media (even messaging apps) , and I cannot begin to describe the benefits it has brought me. Aside from my immensely improved focus, not having something/someone to compare myself to (sub consciously even) has also incredibly helped my sPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>127744
It’s like what people say about grief. You don’t get over it, you just learn to live with it. Just give it time is what I am saying, live life.

i constantly wear a full face of makeup and always have my hair done while only keeping heavily angle and lighting frauded photos in an attempt to delude myself into thinking i am prettier than i am. ofcourse, it doesnt work and leaves me with intense feelings of guilt due to being a catfish. I also try comfort myself with the idea that in the future ill get all these surgeries to fix what ive got going on, but in this economy i wont. being a 4/10 lanky, socially inept teen was a traumatic experience.

>>127980
nobody lucks out when their partner is into anime. anime is fucking retarded.

>>128009
Beautifully said. I am engraving this on my tombstone

>>128009
insert salieri gif

>>127962
No, he isn't gay, stop acting like a TIF and trying to dictate how much of a man he is. Or are you an undercover TIM posting here? If you are going to be crying about him not being some himbo, a monolith, a cardboard cutout instead of an individual then just leave him. He probably has a hentai addiction anyway.

every tranime-loving male friend ive had was bisexual

>>125583
I'll be honest i said i didn't care a while ago but it's been 2 months so checking in. Can u admit it was all a rouse?

>>125583
>being abused by this man for literal years
>"gee, I hope my husband can be convinced to go to therapy!"

Girl.

Maybe you can go to therapy is his place because your delusions are almost as bad as his.

Only update when you've decided to leave him for good.

>>127275
OPhere, it's not a ruse. I'm staying with my MIL tonight because things got out of control again. I'm probably going to start on seperating oncexthe new year opens.

OP here again, thinking about fucking his mom as a revenge

OP. Husband has completely lost it. I escaped last night and stayed with my MIL. I can't really affor a hotel so I'm going to stay at a manga cafe nights. The problem is my husband sent me shopping but didn't trust me with my own phone, so I have his. I can't access my email or line, or use paypay. Luckily I have cash.

No plan except never going back. Looking forward to freedom in 2026.

>>127946
Noo I wrote this myself😭 i thinks thats quite obvious

>>127947
I thought it was good. Don't accuse, explain how it affects you.

Your boyfriend sounds anxious and you sound a bit avoidant. That's the most agonizing dynamic in a relationship.

>>127955
It's true but I'm getting over it for him. I've been more open bout my feelings and forcing myself to communicate cause I love him and whatnot. It's hard but he's worth it to me

>>127968
That's cool. I'm praying for you Anon 🙏

you’re not having fun
i think that you should ride
call me when you’re ready to be real

did i get lost along the way?
lose my mind for a new identity?
i quite enjoy ruining your day
and i just wanna cause a entropy

you tried so hard
to make a hero out of me
but there are some rules i don’t obey
and i just wanna cause a little chaos and
entropy

you tried so hard
to take the discord out of me
but guess what?
i wasn’t born that way
and i just wanna cause a little entropy

and when you shame me
it makes me want it more

Friday night, time to get drunk
Go, go to the party, time to get drunk
Arrive in the Clio, get driven by a hunk
Straight to the bedroom, driven by a hunk
Plenty of boys in the yard
One look at me and they get hard

H-Hard as stone, ready to bone
Like Medusa on a party throne
DJ, DJ, DJ DJ DJ
Slow it down for an epic BJ
Thanks, man, so glad you came
I think I love you, what's your name?
Don't leave yet, we're having fun
Friday night, number one
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>127913
>>127914
This

>>127918
Made this thread to gather opinions and maybe shoot the shit on what most would consider an alternative lifestyle since i noticed there was a lack of a poly thread. You don't need to give me validation, just don't be an asshole :|

>>127927
Basically the same as up top, minus the asshole part

>>127919
Realest comment in this thread so far. Half of them do and half of them don't. I'm trying to be logical but the heart is a fickle creature sometimes.

>>127991
I don't get your lifestyle but I do find people who take personal offense to random threads like this amusing

Not inherently bad. People associate poly with lots of different things but to some it means not entertaining additional relationships besides 2 people you're dating or not dating someone who's seeing a different number of partners than you are. However it seems to overlap with a particularly uncomfy kind of "queer" person who has very poor sense of boundaries and often couches it in manipulative therapy language, or faux rad ~sexual liberation~, whatever else. Manipulation occurs in all kinds of relationships of course but there's a specific character about polyamorous manipulators that makes me uniquely uncomfortable.

>>128001

Yanno, I can completely see where you're coming from with that.

I read less then half of The 48 laws of Power a lil before starting my poly relationship(s?) too…. while the book made me feel icky reading it, I think it also helped me navigate my recent relationships in a more machiavellian and domineering way… tho I cannot for the life of me tell you by heart half of the "rules" I read lol

American pancakes are disgusting

Nona my family is like this too. My mother always pushed me to study/work hard regardless of what trauma I was going through and always reminded me that I was a financial burden on the family. I grew up, got a good job, and covered half my uni tuition in scholarships all without any professional mental help for my mental illness. Meanwhile my dumbfuck scrote older brother fails so many courses he has to take multiple additional years of uni, has never worked a non-mininum wage job ever, and is literally handed 1500$ a month on top of having his rent and tuition paid for for "discretionary spending". My mom even borrowed money from ME to pay HIS rent and this is all sustained by my dad working overtime in his manual labour job. Oh and my older brother abused the shit out of me growing up too but if I bring up anything about him being a loser bum my mom scolds me about hurting his fee fees.

Older ladies and failure pickmes can’t stand other woman in the kitchen because they’re afraid someone will be better at cooking than them. And they will not be needed for one if their shallow “purposes.” in their minds, they have to compete/show value and that’s the only thing they got left to prove themselves. even if their cooking is not that good and they’re just being nice… it’s like an insecure narcissistic moid in the gym when another scrote is lifting weights beside them, it makes the insecure moid seethe and try to one-up him. even when it’s their own daughter or a woman several decades younger than them, they still can’t stand it!
if someone witnessed my other attempts at this reply, i am terrible at phoneposting

>>127945
This sounds like a nightmare. I hope you're doing well now.

>>127978
thank you nona <3
i finally saw a therapist and got meds. career is going well too. most days i can just avoid my dumbass mom and brother

I don't have anyone to talk to on my lunch break so I'm on cc. Feels lonely.

I deserve love too

Reading lolcow's "Get it off your chest" thread and enjoying it so much somehow, almost as much as when I'm venting myself.

I wonder what it is about needing to vent in public, even if you don't want to talk about it with anyone. Just writing a letter no ones gonna see simply doesn't hit the same.

I wanna go for some McDonald's fries rn but it's 6 AM

>>127479
i listen to audiobooks on my lunch breaks