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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

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Anonymous 59122[Reply]

Have you ever been rejected(romantically)? How did you handle it? How did you react?
42 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 65073

>>65010
You're both really cringy so you would have made a good couple kek

Anonymous 65108

>>65073
Why do you make such posts?

Anonymous 65131

>>65108
Wdym?

Anonymous 65574

>>65073
>>64992
Obviously I realise the error of my ways if I'm going to post about it, please be nice, scrotes :)

>>61758
Idk if you're talking about me or not but I don't think this guy was insecure, I told him he was my ideal type and basically explained why I prefer guys like him over other men. Pretty sure he rejected me because I was being way too clingy with someone I barely knew and gave off crazy-girlfriend vibes as a result.

Anonymous 65735

Yes…
I took I immaturely at the time looking back.
Wow retard very much I know.


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Anonymous 65628[Reply]

What's a self employment alternative for a weird dummy?
I can't handle the stress and anxiety of working for someone and I figure the only solution is working for myself.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 65638

I made like 1000$ on average monthly flipping stuff on kijiji, someone helped me invest in crypto and I made like 3x the money I input so something like that doesn't have normal hours, work whenever you want.

Anonymous 65700

>>65638
do you have any advice for flipping?

Anonymous 65706

>>65628
Most self-employed things cause way more stress and anxiety than getting a normie office job and just turning your brain off for 8 hours a day.

>>65638
>kijiji
Hello, fellow leaf.

Anonymous 65714

>>65628
>What's a self employment alternative for a weird dummy?
Self-employment tends to be more stressful than standard employment.
>I can't handle the stress and anxiety of working for someone and I figure the only solution is working for myself.
If you are so stressed out at work that you literally can't, that means you have a medical disability. Unless your anxiety is purely coming from having a boss, being self-employed isn't that much different.

Anonymous 65729

>>65634
My biggest skill is writing. I have tried to monetize this in the past but nobody wants the crap I write, also commissions are usually insane and gross fetish erotica which is torture to write. I also have decent knowledge of CAD and I like making lists of things/processing information/sorting, that kind of thing…
>>65634
>Unless your anxiety is purely coming from having a boss,
I feel like it does. I think it comes from feeling like I have to meet their expectations and feeling like they're not fully satisfied with the work I'm doing. I also make mistakes at work a lot and I can't handle the failure.
I think if I could decide what I'm doing and how I want to do it it would be liberating.


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do any miners here have a very specific preference when it comes to a partner Anonymous 65166[Reply]

i am just starting to realize that I have a very specific "type" when it comes to my attraction towards men, but im wondering if anyone else has any specific non-vague types. I honestly haven't really talked to anyone about their own or even my "type", but the ones I have seen in media are maybe vague or fall into some trope/cliche/stereotype. Therefore, i am not sure if my certain preferences are normal or not, maybe i am looking for reassurance or a reason to talk about it.. i dont know sorry if this seems dumb/stupid/insignificant, but it has just been on my mind recently and i supposed that this was the best way to get it out. sorry if this was cringe.
16 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 65612

>>65552
>Curious as to what your type is, OP!
I think my overall "type" mainly comes in the form of 2 categories: charecter and physical appearance. For looks, my preference is a bit flexxible but two things stand: body and facial hair with a "swirly" facial features, as in, he has large eyes, weirdly shaped eyebrows, very prominent cupids bow, and a strong looking yet somewhat asymetrical nose. The problem is that I never met anyone with a combo of all these features, but they are all features that make my heart pump.

also charecter is way more rigid. I basically like guys who are socialy awkward, organized, have an active and assertive will to live and thrive, has obscure hobbies/fixations/passions, while being able to be both oblivious and be very good at banter. I dont know why I am like this, but whenever I meet a guy and I ask him what his hobbies are and if he says, with a small upward crease of his lips, "ummm yea i like to woodcarve my own replicas of historical battles in history..i really like it..its fun." and then he looks away all flustered upon first interaction, it makes me melt so hard.
srry for the rant but it was honestly nice talking about this, and it was also very lovely hearing everyone's experiences. I know mine is very stupid maybe even gross idk and probably impossible to find in one person, it still is very nice in knowing that I am not alone :)

Anonymous 65613

My tastes are all over the place honestly, I dated moids of various ethnicities (western europe, anglo, russian, balkanic, southeast asia, black) but I never managed to form a lasting bond that goes beyond friendship with any of them.

I do have a preference for slavs, and I enjoy fetishizing them, probably because of teenage relationships.

Anonymous 65618

>>65613
Yeah its hard to say taste when it comes to race sometimes.
For a while I was never attracted to asian guys, (only whites and mexicans) but I ended up getting a crush on a quapa and now I think they're cute. Too bad he ghosted me.
He's an /r9k/ moid and probably sometimes visits this place. If you're reading this Matt, fuck you.

Anonymous 65630

1613246050436.jpg

my type is specifically John C Reily in his Step Brothers casting. I would also take John C Reily in the Talledega Nights role

Anonymous 65632

>>65630
He’s quite literally the polar opposite of my type but that’s pretty cute.


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When the moid won't moid Anonymous 65656[Reply]

I don't want to initiate sexual stuff with the guy I like but he doesn't do it either and I'm getting girl blue balls whenever we talk at this point (it's an online thing).
I flirted with him a bunch of times, but he doesn't flirt back which embarrasses me.
It's not that it makes me feel insecure or it breaks my heart or anything, I just want to coom with him.
I guess I'll just stop though because I don't want him to see me as pushy and coombrained.

Anonymous ## Cleanup crew 65660

Moved to >>>/nsfw/5649.


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Anonymous 65647[Reply]

>smacks hand on a wall in annoyance
>ends up having to go to hospital to get xray
>greeted by a female wanting to get some details about me
>asks how old i am, i say "i'm alright"
>behind me is a hot male…
can life get any worse?

Anonymous 65654

Did you think you would have ruined your chances with the random hot guy who happened to be near you when your age was asked if you had answered?

Sexuals are so weird.


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Anyone ever got back together with an ex bf or gf? Anonymous 65573[Reply]

Just to clarify, this isn't a "is it a good idea to get back together with an ex" thread, more a curiosity for what people's experiences with it were like. I know a lot of people might strongly believe it's a bad idea, I'm not advocating for it, simply looking to hear stories out of interest.
Some questions for consideration, answer as much or as little as you're comfortable with:
>What was the cause of the breakup?
>How did you feel right after the breakup? Angry, miserable, numb, or something else? Did you want to move on forever or were you still hanging onto the relationship?
>How long were you apart for before getting back together? What was this time period like?
>How was the idea to get back together brought up? Why did you choose to get back together?
>Do you feel like enough things changed or that enough steps were taken to address the reason for the original breakup?
>Are you still together today or did you break up again? Why do you think that result happened?
>Overall, do you regret getting back together?

Anonymous 65600

One time I had 3 attempts with a guy. I'll try to make it short instead of defending myself so try not to judge me too hard

>What was the cause of the breakup?
First: I stopped going out with him because I wasn't feeling it. Dates went well, he was courteous every step of the day, shared hobbies, but I just didn't feel it, idk. That was the first time I went on a real "date". We had 3 dates in total, didn't kiss. He reached out to try and make another date happen and I told him I didn't really want another. That was that.
Second: This is the actual breakup. Met again on a dating app 4 years later, spontaneously went out, started dating, he has weird stipulations but I try my best, he picks me apart, I feel suspicious of him but am trying not to be too guarded, he dumps me
>How did you feel right after the breakup? Angry, miserable, numb, or something else? Did you want to move on forever or were you still hanging onto the relationship?
I was kind of shocked, I'd never been dumped before and it was completely out of the blue. He made me drive an hour to his place just to stay the night and then break up with me before I left for work. What the fuck.
>How long were you apart for before getting back together? What was this time period like?
He called me exactly 2 weeks later.
>How was the idea to get back together brought up? Why did you choose to get back together?
He immediately told me he had intentionally kept me at an arm's length and used a bullshit reason to break up with me because he didn't want to commit. Told me he loved me for the first time and asked if I'd get back together. I told him I'd think about it and eventually agreed to go on a date again.
>Do you feel like enough things changed or that enough steps were taken to address the reason for the original breakup?
No, everything was the same as before.
>Are you still together today or did you break up again? Why do you think that result happened?
He was the same person all three times, I just didn't trust my gut. I don't even remember why we finally broke up, just that he suggested couples' therapy and I was like bro we haven't even been dating for 3 months, if we already need relationship counseling we're just not a good match, but I still had a hard time brePost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 65605

>>65573
>What was the cause of the breakup?
He was being extremely controlling and erratic after the death of my Father..
>How did you feel right after the breakup? Angry, miserable, numb, or something else? Did you want to move on forever or were you still hanging onto the relationship?
Numb. I figured he was just being irrational because it brought up emotions relating to his own Father, because they passed in the same way. Looked into moving out, maybe rekindling things after both of our emotions died down.
>How long were you apart for before getting back together? What was this time period like?
Hm.. Maybe 3-4 months? We kept in touch here and there for the first month or two. After that, things progressively got better. He was very apologetic barf We even met up for dinner & drinks a couple of times. Actually, surprisingly, we got along extremely well then. Kept that up for 2 or so months.
>How was the idea to get back together brought up? Why did you choose to get back together?
>Do you feel like enough things changed or that enough steps were taken to address the reason for the original breakup?
I did think things had changed. We had time apart. I mourned, he was independent for a bit.. Our outings together were great. Even our messages were less hostile and seemed more working towards a future rather than blame, criticism, etc.
>Are you still together today or did you break up again? Why do you think that result happened?
No. We have been apart for 1 year 3 months now. He actually ended up getting violent with me. He had bordered on it before we broke up, but never actually laid his hands on me.
>Overall, do you regret getting back together?
1000%. I take responsibility for being completely stupid and not recognizing the red flags beforehand.. but since he didn't "technically" get physical with me, I chose to stay and help him. I empathized too much with his own mental health problems and ignored mine. But, fast forward, I am a much better person now. From what I've been told by friends who still view his social media; He's extremely miserable. He still chooses everything else in the World to blPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 65606

>>65605
Samefag. Missed a question.
>How was the idea to get back together brought up? Why did you choose to get back together?
I actually can't recall the "moment" that happened. I think we were just very broken people looking for that comfort. After our time apart, many weeks had gone by and we decided to get our own place. Previous to breaking up, we had been living in a house with other roommates at the time. Tbh, now looking back, the roommates helped. I had at least one person to run to when he was being erratic. I think he just wanted us to be alone to isolate his bullshit in one place.

Anonymous 65625

I keep getting back with my first and only boyfriend. Our relationship is quite toxic, we do love each other but we just don’t get along for long periods of time, a lot of things he says and does annoy and upset me and he never communicates his feelings but goes all quiet and withdrawn when he is down. At the same time being apart from each other is too hard. Its a messy codependent situation, we are on another break and both of us were talking to new people which seems to be going nowhere, but I know we are going to end up together again. It’s weird when you just can’t let someone go no matter how tumultuous the relationship is. It isn’t all bad though, we are really happy sometimes.

Anonymous 65650

My story was the rare good story.

Our initial relationship was poor. He was emotionally neglectful and I had to manually ask him to be romantic with me. I’d cry myself to sleep at night because I felt so unloved but couldn’t bear to leave him.
He didn’t give a sufficient reason for the breakup. He just said he was “overwhelmed.” The breakup was excruciatingly painful and I wanted to kill myself every day. This might make me sound sheltered, but I had never felt such searing emotional pain. The fact that I’d never hear him say “I love you” to me again felt like getting stabbed in the heart. I became an angry and jaded person. I constantly browsed FDS. But… I still loved him and missed him.
He messaged me 2 months later out of the blue. We slowly started talking more and it was clear he wanted to get back together. I do think I should have pushed him harder to state clearly that he wanted to be with me, though.
Fast forward to now (year later) and he has changed so much for the better. He cries thinking about how neglectful he used to be and is so sweet now. I got really lucky. My resentment is gone because he regrets the past and has changed for the better.


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Maladaptive Daydreaming Anonymous 65512[Reply]

How do I put an end to it? I feel like I've wasted most of my best years due to this.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 65521

- same here. I am constantly conked the fuck out, addicted to my fantasies. I neglect my real life severely.

Anonymous 65580

>>65512
Write a book?

Anonymous 65581

You are just a creative person. Don't feel bad for that. Maybe try out painting or writing as a productive outlet for your creativity. Maybe that way you won't feel like you are wasting your time.

Really don't feel bad. Having a soul is good.

Anonymous 65624

>>65512
>have all these ideas of how I want to look, where I wanna live, who I wanna date etc
>cucked by my ugly face and body and being stuck in a poorfag shithole, with a chronic illness
There was never a choice. Maladaptive daydreaming chose me, not the other way around.

Anonymous 65633

>>65512
What do you daydream about?


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Anonymous 63401[Reply]

>tfw too polite to say no to things i do not want to do

>tfw i let down a friend group today because I was too scared of letting down my family who i was scared to ditch
11 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 65481

>>65478
Kek. If it's a viral cognitohazard maybe you just get inoculated after posting once.

Anonymous 65494

You always need to let down people. If you don't, how can you learn to do it properly?

Anonymous 65496

>>63404
kek

Anonymous 65569

Cha Cha real smoot…

>>63404

Anonymous 65570

@63404
nice try but no one has ever died from this

>>65494
this


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Scared of relationships, need advice Anonymous 65536[Reply]

I want to be loved, but I don't want to date anyone. Thinking about a future with someone else, raising children, having to share spaces. It's all awful. I know I could have a boyfriend (I'm not hideous or handicapped) but I just don't want to. I feel uncomfortable around men, I'm always expecting the betrayal, ready to be disappointed, waiting for something to go wrong. I'm terrified of things not working out and getting my heart broken in a million pieces, of being stuck and hurt. I don't want to marry anyone, but I don't have to live going to to multiple tinder dates a week and hooking up either. How do I cope with the realization that I'll die alone because I just don't like other people? Is this okay? Wait if I regret this later, and I find myself alone and unable to have children of my own? Is there a way for me to overcome my fear of men and relationships?
I dated a guy before, when I was 17-18, and I hated almost every second of it after we started officially dating, I don't think I can stand to be so close to anyone else ever again.

Also, since I've only had sex with one person I'm scared of having sex with other people. I don't know why, I just find it anxiety inducing. I didn't like sex when I had it, and I'm certain I won't like it if I try again. I hate the idea of someone seeing me naked, I find it embarrassing. How can I know who actually likes me for being me, and who just wants to get in my pants but won't see me as a person? I start spiraling with all kinds of thoughts related to the matter. What if other guys don't want to date me because I'm not a virgin? Or what if they don't want to date me because I'm not "easy"? Or what if they don't want to date me at all? What if none will ever love me? I just feel disgraceful, ruined. I want to be happy, but I'm scared of being seen and touched and I can't make myself happy, either. What can I do?
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 65539

>>65537
Therapists are not good people.

Anonymous 65543

>>65538
Eh, you sound paranoid. Again, seek professional help.

>>65539
Get a psychiatrist then. An imageboard filled with unstable people isn't going to give you better advice.

Anonymous 65544

>>65536
Is it so bad to not date? You sound young but either way, it's probably better to avoid dating seriously in your state of mind in favor of improving yourself and your life.

Anonymous 65545

>>65536
How old are you? Age might play a part into this.
What was so bad about your relationship with that one guy? Sometimes people kind of let one bad experience traumatize their entire view on stuff like relationships, many many such cases.
In general you just sound like you have a LOT of anxiety and paranoia. I wish I knew a better solution than to seek something like therapy. I don't believe in the jewpill but i've known some people who had similar amount of extreme anxiety and I don't think it's the type of thing you can fix all by yourself…

Anonymous 65549

Certainly not saying that you are, but consider reading how the asexual (can have fantasies and masturbate but little interest in intercourse) or aromantic (likes people and friends but doesn’t feel romance) find happiness in nonsexual or platonic relationships.

You don’t have to date. You don’t have to have sex to date. You can also touch each other without expecting sex to see how it makes you feel or react — do you feel overwhelmed? Look up Master & Johnson’s Sensate Touch sextherapy for couples.

Many people nowadays seem to not be able to handle relationships or reality, and retreat into a shell. Maybe people are less trustworthy nowadays, or maybe we’re more fearful of each other.

I don’t know the solution, and I don’t believe therapy is a panacea. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Maybe with knowledge and time you’ll figure out if you should date.


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Ghosting Anonymous 64299[Reply]

Have any of you girls been ghosted? A guy ghosted me after we were close for a couple of months and I still think about him every day, I feel so shitty about myself now…
7 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 65258

Some asshole ghosted me after using me as his therapist on Discord to vent about his girlfriend to for a whole month. He had made me think we were gonna see each other IRL and that we had a future together and shit.

Anonymous 65520

becauseyes1.png

I hope they're still alive. They would recognize this image, my final cope.

Anonymous 65522

>>65258
He had a girlfriend while you were talking lmao. Why would you two end up together?

Anonymous 65524

>>65258
If you stop to think a little, it should be evident you had no future together and shit.

Anonymous 65525

I was best friends with this guy for about a month, he was my only friend. I was afraid of getting too attached to him because I've been ghosted many times before. I used to check if he'd unfriended me before I sent a message because I always had that feeling.
Then, for a couple days we got close and talked much more than we had, we flirted a bit, and I realy started to like him.
Then I wake up one morning, try to send him a picture, and my stupid ass thought the internet was down when the upload failed. It only dawned on my after a few tries I'd been unfriended, even blocked.
Made an alt to contact him, he accepted and gave me no satiafactory reason.
Why are they like this, why do they stomp on your heart the moment you begin to trust them?
Got over it after about a week though, not after bawling my eyes out and throwing a temper tantrum though.


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