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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

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why does society think women owe each other compliments? Anonymous 126800[Reply]

i hate the expectation that women are supposed to constantly compliment other women. especially on their looks. i’m a straight woman… i don’t view women through physical attraction at all. so complimenting their body or features feels unnatural to me. but if a woman doesn’t do it, people immediately assume she’s envious, insecure and sometimes even anti woman. men never face this. straight men aren’t expected to compliment other men, and when they don’t, no one questions their character or motives. women, meanwhile, are pressured to provide nonstop emotional validation. not complimenting a woman’s appearance doesn’t mean i dislike them. it just means i don’t feel obligated to perform a role society unfairly forces onto women. i don’t find women physically attractive. sorry not sorry.
8 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127466

>>127457
god and the devil created me in a lab as a bet to be the most based woman alive so they could see which direction i’d end up going in

Anonymous 127467

>>127466
Which side are you gonna choose?

Anonymous 127468

>>127467
i think goodness but my ex really tests me sometimes

Anonymous 127470

>>127468
Honestly same

Anonymous 127471

>>127470
we are for real all trapped in samsara


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escaping samsara Anonymous 127407[Reply]

how are we going to do it guys

Anonymous 127408

I'm gonna be the emotional support for you guys who will do the solving

Anonymous 127409

>>127408
i love that. i am building a team.

Anonymous 127410

>>127407
One dickchop at a time


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Anonymous 106726[Reply]

post yr ideal partner
356 posts and 82 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126972

>>119668
I know a guy almost exactly like this, minus the TERF part.

Anonymous 127260

Haha this is interesting. completely ideal/unrealistic:
lookswise:
>5'9-6'0
>good hygiene
>have some sense of style, or at least aware to look put together
>good dental hygiene !
>mixed or not white;
>bigger than me , but not too muscular

personality
>minimal screen usage/no social media like me
>minimal longing for sexual intimacy
>values me as a person
>can cook
>does not drink/smoke
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 127325

-does not post on social media or better yet have it
-always wants to spoil me
-caring
-over 5'11
-direct
-responsible and decisive
-pudgy muscular

Anonymous 127372

>Tall
>Similar culture to me (mediterranean)
>Charismatic and social but also has nihce interests/takes an interest in my hobbies
>Family oriented
>Quiet/more laid back than me
>Goal oriented and driven
>Likes to always touch and cuddle
>High sex drive to match me
>Big thick dick most importantly

Anonymous 127380

>>127372
having a nice one is honestly so important.


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dating ppl you’re not physically attracted to Anonymous 126942[Reply]

dating ppl you don’t find attractive is actually one of the most selfish and cruelest things some ppl do to each other. i can’t stand how some ppl actually think this is a virtuous act and think this makes the love you have for someone more valid. stop doing this. you’re way better off alone than doing this to another person.
10 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127348

>>127339
What is the point then. You're essentially dragging around a ball and chain.

Anonymous 127349

>>127348
i left eventually. and i think very badly of those abusers now. i was abused and had very low self esteem. i wasn’t allowed to have any until i realized how shit these people really were.

Anonymous 127350

>>127349
Good for you !!

Anonymous 127370

>>126943
these replies say otherwise lol

Anonymous 127382

>>127350
thank you. i think i’m a lot smarter and stronger and i like myself more now. and i don’t like those men one bit.


old-priest-in-fron…

confessions thread 2 Anonymous 63992[Reply]

>>51270 previous bread

I never brush my teeth for the full 2 minutes
446 posts and 57 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127307

>>127305
thanks for being understanding, nona <3

Anonymous 127308

>>127307
Of course; thank you for stepping up for that other noona!
People like you make this world a better place

Anonymous 127310

>>66543
Genius

Anonymous 127332

>>107365
>Squishes
>just a friend?
Yeah, just a term for when you really desire a close friendship with someone specific. Seems more practical and less chronically online than "blorbo" or "bias wrecker" to me, both terms I've heard more often than squish…
>Sensual Attraction
>sounds like a creep
Yeah, hugging a kitten or even your friends is really creepy, wanting to be physically close is so inhuman. /s
>Aesthetic Attraction
>why do they need a label or bullshit term for every single thing.
Because certain people act like absolute dumbasses when you're aroace and call someone "attractive" and wrongly assume that they understand the concept of appreciating beauty without physical desire.

Anonymous 127345

I often get so embarrassed about things I say while I'm saying them, even if it isn't anything bad and I'm anonymous. My face is ablaze. Just gotta push through.
It's odd that it's harder when I'm trying to say nice things. Why is it easier to be mean online? Why does being kind make me feel so vulnerable and self-conscious?


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Ugly Vent Thread Anonymous 124874[Reply]

A thread for women to vent and share their experiences with being ugly and how they cope in this look obsessed society.
82 posts and 11 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126630

>>126618
>>126618
hi, just know that the closer you are to your goal weight the better you'll look. youve made so much amazing progress already, and ive been in your place before. i also struggled to lose weight on my thighs but what helped the most is incline walking and power pilates. it doesn't matter how much you've used to weigh; what matters now is that you're changing and you're becoming healthier! keep going!

Anonymous 126658

>>126630
thank you for the advice and kind words i really appreciate it nona :)

Anonymous 126754

Even with makeup on I still feel like shit. Because yeah, I can put it on and be objectively prettier, but I just keep thinking about how the makeup industry targets women’s insecurities to get them to spend money and how I’ve fallen into that trap. I wish I could say I do my makeup for myself, as an artistic expression, but I 100% do it for others.

Anonymous 127297

I feel so ugly. My forehead is my biggest insecurity. I want to cut bangs, but i don't want people to know I'm actually insecure yk. And bangs don't even really fit with my current hair. When I see myself in pictures it actually makes me suicidal. It's always my forehead tbh. I'm too afraid to look at myself. I see people who are unattractive be so confident, post pictures, and I don't get how they do it. I don't mean to say they should feel insecure, I just don't know why I am cursed with feeling this way about myself. I wish I had that bliss of ignorance.

Ideally I want to cut my hair (bangs) and dye it (pink) but I'm afraid to do it in my current setting at school. I don't want to deal with judgements. I already feel subhuman at my school. I'm not alternative but I'm not as basic and conforming as the other girls. I feel ugly for not being conforming. And like a freak because I'm not as social. I never talk in class and I want to talk to my classmates but it usually doesn't go that well. I fear more judgement, if I cut my hair, even if it's how I truly want to be. I think as soon as I've made my final exam I'm going to do it. I think I'd feel better about myself.

And there's a guy that likes me from school but I feel so ashamed, like I've tricked him because I'm so ugly. I feel guilty because we built a connection online and now he's attached to me bc of that. We were both too shy to talk to each other irl. Despite having classes together. I don't want him to see me. I don't want anyone to see me.

As for my body… sigh. I have big boobs which should be nice. Except that they make me look so fucking fat. when I wear sweaters and stuff, it just looks horrible. i look so big. Because of the way the sweater falls, it looks like I have a giant stomach. I'm too insecure to wear tight fitted tops, maybe also because I don't want to attract that kind of attention from moids,, so idk what to wear. I'm seriously considering buying a binder to make my chest look more proportional when wearing sweaters. I just hate how it looks,. I avoid wearing color because you can see my boobs. So i just end up wearing navy and black, and look super depressing. I'm also always hunched over because it feels like they stick out so much. They just bring me down and I just look like a sad depressed wreck

Anonymous 127324

Yes, I've actually had suicidal and self-harming behaviors because of it. I was overweight my entire childhood (unlike my mother, who was anorexic and obsessed with appearance). I suffered a lot from her, and she forced me to go on extreme diets from the age of 13. At 16, I gained a lot of weight (when you have nice curves, it looks good, but I was very round, lol).

And I felt disgusting. Everyone at school was disgusted by me, and there was even a very pretty girl who made me feel terrible. Because of those experiences, I suffered from anorexia for two years, and as a result, I looked awful (yes, I'm unattractive at any weight). I still have dark circles under my eyes and a very thin face with a somewhat wide nose because of that illness.

Even my family (moids) have compared me to a super pretty, white cousin. I remember at a dinner they spit in my face telling me she was better, while my face looked like a monkey's. I cried. I locked myself in the bathroom and made cuts in my legs.
I still can't forget all that. How do they expect me to feel loved? How do they expect me to feel hopeful when they all saw something horrible in me, even though I always tried to be a good person?
it might sound weird but i feel jealous of slightly chubby girls,they look healthy and cute with curves while i look flat and my face is masculine because a lack of bucal fat but i cant gain weight no matter how hard i try. I want to kill myself because i cant never be pretty or look at photos of myself with happiness.


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Long Distance Relationships Anonymous 44204[Reply]

Thread to discuss Long Distance Relationships. The struggles, the pros… meeting the person for the first time… meeting them for the 50th time… vent both sad and happy things. LDRs can be quite a challenge but it's the right thing for some people.
424 posts and 59 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 118920

>>118889
Right time right place. You also gotta do background checks and search for their discord handle in the archives before adding. If you see him posting in sexting threads and shit like that, don’t add him

Anonymous 119168

my gf and i have been long distance for a bit over 3 years now. im getting frustrated because every time i ask what our long term goals will be i get a vague non answer ("well when i graduate…" etc)

thankfully both of us have the income to afford multiple trips a year to see eachother but it's definitely affecting my life since i feel like all the time in between visits is just like… the void. like im standing around in an elevator waiting to get to the next floor. i almost feel like i'm wasting my life on this but that's hard to admit.

i want to make it work and i feel like we can but man this is so taxing. at least its gone better than my last LDR where the first time we met up she immediately dumped me and we had to spend the rest of the trip awkwardly being friends only lmao.

Anonymous 121925

I see my post about him from a long time ago was deleted. Much to think about.

Anonymous 127271

I know this thread is pretty dead but has anyone gone through the CR1 process without a lawyer? I'm worried my fiance is about to piss away thousands on something we can file for ourselves.

Anonymous 127299

>>127271
post on reddit maybe?


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Lesbians are the most oppressed, idc Anonymous 126590[Reply]

>Discord will ban you if you don't like trannies
>Reddit will ban you of you don't like trannies
>/r9k/ supports prison gay men and attention seeking fakeecel ethots but will shit on you and exclude you for being a lesbian
>/lgbt/ will shit on you for not being a Goldstar
>radfems will shit on you for not finding fat hairy ugly bitches attractive or for liking anything that isn't holding hands and kissing bc anything else is "male gaze-y"
>right wing twitter shits on you for being homosexual
>left wing twitter shits on you for being transphobic, aka for being an actual homosexual
>Bluesky…. Why are you on Bluesky?
>I don't know any secret tags on Tumblr for lesbians, but the fact if there were any it would be annoying to have to walk on eggshells else-wise the tag gets raided for not liking trannies
>third world countries… You don't even have any rights.
>Most of the western world will arrest you if you publicly say you don't like trannies
>Even in America, trannies are allowed in female only spaces even if its prison or a domestic abuse shelter
>Growing up having to learn in school that you were treated as inferior in every way all throughout history up until very recently

Not to mention having to deal with the rhetoric against lesbians being so mind-numbingly dumb and illogical.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
11 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126675

Tolerance to sexual deviancy has no place in a healthy society.

Anonymous 126681

>>126590
I used to get frozen pizza only on birthdays..

Anonymous 126682

>>126675
the way i started nodding before i realized what you weirdos were on about. how is a woman loving another woman DEVIANCY? go ask the men in your life hard questions and leave wlw alone? go bother a fucking coquette age player? literally there are entire reddit communities of pedos and people who molested children to harass. you could get this energy out any other way and instead you’re being homophobic because a girl will hold another girls hand. you sound crazy. literally there are men in your life who have harmed women and have crazy internet footprints. where is this energy for them?

Anonymous 126683

>>126681
i will make you a frozen pizza daily my princess. i would make you REAL pizza.

Anonymous 127295

>>126590
This is so chronically online. Half of the things you mentioned don't even exist in the real world. You are spending so much time and energy being negative,, no wonder women don't like you lol. And then you use this fictive rejection to blame and generalize other groups. No way you just made me defend moids among others…

The way you're expressing yourself sounds like someone who's hurting, but not someone who's beyond hope. I can recognize how badly you want a relationship, a connection with another woman. I struggle with the same thing, with not being able to find women who are into other women. Perhaps also because I am femme4femme. But I don't think it's as impossible as you make it out to be.. because if you don't even try to reach out to women then what do you expect?

I hope your concert goes well, but also don't lose hope if something doesn't work out. You deserve a good relationship and I wish you the best in pursuing one.


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Just one more year. What should I do? Anonymous 126476[Reply]

I'm stuck in a weird position.
When I newly turned 17, I met with a 30 year old guy from 4chan because I was lonely and wanted a friend. We had some common interests in games. We hung out at the arcade and in the same year, I went to his house to play co-op. However, the friendship was short lived as he asked me to be his girlfriend right after. I was young and stupid, I saw no issue with him. He was unfit and never had a girlfriend before, I never had a boyfriend before. So I thought I should give him a chance.
It's been 1 and a 1/2 years now. Due to feeling unsafe at home, as soon as I turned 18, I moved out to this dude's house. He said he'd support me. So I moved and enrolled to a highschool near his house.
Over time, living with him, I began to pick up on things that do not sit right with me.
Firstly, he has figurines of some anime girls that troubled me from the very first time I came over, but I thought I should just overlook it. Figurines of miku, vtubers and Fate characters. He has plushes of vtubers, his profile picture is a vtuber. He admits that he likes vtubers but doesn't watch them anymore. Yet when I criticise them for milking money from men he opposed me.
Things that disgust me include him loving the anime 'yuru yuri' a show common among lolicons, loving the soundtrack of 'yuru yuri', he downloaded all of them and calling the government 'woke' because the age for marriage is 18. Other than this, I told him I do not use twitter, but everyday, I check what he has posted and who he recently follows. When I checked his following for the first time, I burst into tears. It was anime porn artist after anime porn artists. Most of his following was that. Yet checking his recently followed, he still actively interacts with these anime porn artists. When he shows me something on twitter, he's very wary and cautious of ever scrolling too much, and when he accidently does - it's all vtubers and ecchi drawings of anime girls. Last night, I checked his following again, and I cried again discovering he followed 20 more disgusting anime artists.
The worst thing is, these anime porn artists also draw porn of underage characters… in other words loli. It's a trend I've noticed across the artists he indulges in.
I feel so stupid, I was too young and dumb to notice this before I lived with him. And now I'm stuck with this borderline pedophile. I should've picked it up when I told him my real age and he said "15 is legal anPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
17 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 126586

>>126560
>>126560
i was going to yell at you but i was too tired. i’m not her but thank you for apologizing to her.

Anonymous 126600

>>126586
Yeah, I tried to delete the post but I can't since 30 minutes have passed.
Thank you for being someone who yells at people when they say stupid things.
>>126476
Once again, I'm really sorry, don't even read that shitty post at >>126555
I get into a both-sides mentality too easily when abuse is usually from one aggressor to someone whose aggression is usually just self-defense.
You clearly have many reasons to defend yourself, especially after what you've experienced and the overall person that moid appears to be.

Anonymous 126603

>>126486
you have the same mentality of a moid. stop slutshaming depressed women.
>>126600
thanks for owning up to your mistake instead of just running away from responsibility like a lot of people do.
>>126525
im not qualified to give any advice, but i just wanted to say i hope things get better for you. i know how it feels, thinking that the only love you'll get is from the lowest of the low. that pedofag doesn't deserve you.

Anonymous 127294

>When I newly turned 17, I met with a 30 year old guy from 4chan
>stuck with this borderline pedophile

Nothing about him is "borderline". he IS a pedophile. I'm sorry to tell you this but you were groomed. and now you are doing charity work staying with this loser 4chan 250 pounds discord mod. wtf? what does this guy actually have to offer you? Reading your posts, you are obviously disgusted by him and can recognize that his behavior is a red flag.

nona you only think you love him because you don't know any better. As you said, this is your first boyfriend, and you were abused as a child. But this does not mean it always has to be like this. You can leave him, escape. please

>>126557
Is this a possibility? this situation is definitely not normal and you need to get out. I'm sure if you reached out to someone, they would try to help you.

Anonymous 127362

if you felt unsafe at home, you're definitely less safe where you are now. LEAVE. this will permanently fuck you up. Go home. Reconcile. Figure out a different plan.


QuillBot-generated…

Any sex repulsed blackpillers here? Anonymous 126937[Reply]

>be me
>be blackpilled cuz of female role in sex being blackpilling
>Try to meet more like-minded women
>Meet none
>Feel misunderstood and lonely

Anonymous 126939

>>126937
Yes but not as blackpilled/nihilistic as you probably
voluntarily abstinent/virgin and celibate never had a bf few can relate but it brings me mystical insight

Anonymous 127262

>>126937
wut is blackpill?

Anonymous 127264

i crave it but im volcel

Anonymous 127267

>>127262
A metaphorical term for demoralization.

Anonymous 127277

>>126937
I'm asexual and not interested in ever having sex. Not sure if that counts as volcel.
>be blackpilled cuz of female role in sex being blackpilling
What does this even mean?
Being forced into roles sucks but you don't need to let yourself get defined by them.
If you have sexual interest outside of what you think is considered the social norm for women, you can voice it and demand it in your relationships. It's just a matter of sexual compatibility, isn't it?


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