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i am getting more autistic as i age Anonymous 121894[Reply]

22yo autistic girl diagnosed at 16. up until last year i never thought anything of it. that it was just some stupid label given by the doctors to label me as difficult and stuck up.
but now it seems my autism diagnosis wasn't actually a lie. i never had friends that i could get along with like other kids since i was 5 until now. people talking hurts my ears. i didn't really like any of my peers, they were always too outgoing and bright for me. they always did unsoliticed physical contact that made me so uncomfortable i ended up not leaving the house for the next few days. for some reason i cannot handle theatre audio systems anymore. i have to wear ear plugs just so i can watch movies on a big screen in film quality. everything sounds too sharp, like nails on a chalkboard. i cannot maintain eye contact with my psychiatrist and my therapist while talking. i talk staring at my hands while i fold and unfold the paper with my queue number on it (i bought a fidget cube so i can stare at my hands doing useless shit for as long as i need, paper degrades too easy). making exaggerated facial expressions like other people has gotten impossible. (people have gotten worried because my face is unmoving while i interact with them)
i feel like myself in high school where i hated everyone because i couldnt understand them for being so excited and so loud. now im in college and i can understand them more due to reading more philosophical/psychological topics on the human mind. but no matter how much i fucking "nerd out" i can never be truly human and day by day i feel more and more detached with humanity.

i'm turning into a sociopath. the more i have to make myself acceptable to society the more i feel like i am disappearing. this sucks. what if i really disappear and when i do have a chance to be a mother to a daughter, my rhetorical daughter will hate me for being so emotionally flat/empty/dead inside?

say that my dreams of raising a daughter better than my parents raised me will never come to anything. it'll hurt and i'll cope with that but, there are some days i feel so detached and not myself i have this slight unease if i murder family. i already hate my parents so i feel like they'll be the victims foremost if i do lose myself. but what i'm scared of is being so far gone. i commit murder in catatonia and get assessed in court in a catatonic state. no longer human, no different than an animal.

chat im going insane and i dont thinPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
8 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 128096

>>121894
I am 30 and my autism symptoms got worse I got diagnosed at 30. I always knew but it was never official, and I also have ADHD.
I feel like I did get more sensitive, but I know these conditions don't "get worse". Instead, I think we just get better at understanding our limits. Which you are, too. I don't ever leave my house without ear plugs, and have done so for only 2+ years as I thought I just need to deal with that.

I had a bisalp since I don't ever want to raise kids or spread autism and ADHD; consider if you can raise a disabled kid by yourself. If you have doubts, it's a NO.

Anonymous 128105

You're not turning into a sociopath. In terms of personality disorders the symptom you seem to be experiencing the most is not dissociality but rather detachment.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ICD-11_classification_of_personality_disorders
But there's a less concerning explanation for what you're going through, it's called autistic masking and I also experience it. What helps is to have some autistic friends and have a place /activity where you feel comfortable taking time to yourself. Having these moments with other autistics and having alone time to be yourself are extremely helpful in terms of not feeling like you're losing your mind about it, it also helps with depression and the like.

Anonymous 128198

>>121894
loop engage earplugs help me so much in loud environments

Anonymous 128235

Find socially competent, masking autists if you can to keep you from struggling with normie interaction. They do exist. You'd be better off finding other autistic women who understand your issues. Just find a legit autist and not one of those self diagnosed qwirky TikTok diagnosed ones

Anonymous 128318

IMG_9008.jpeg

>>128105
OP here, it’s been 8 months since I posted this. I’m doing better and the only thing that’s ever helped me so far is staying away from most people and cutting ties with people who just wore me down all my life.

I’m on antipsychotics and antidepressants. The antipsychotics help tremendously with the “I’m not human, I’m subhuman with no feelings.” kind of thoughts and the anxiety that came with it.

It was, (my psychologist said it was “creating and maintaining boundaries) but i think its more extreme, i just stopped trying to socialise with normal people. In other words I stopped masking. The moment school ends I go home immediately and avoid socialising “like a normal person”

All throughout my life my dad had put on expectations on how I should act, feel and look, and what should I have accomplished at certain points in my life and I’ve realised that shit is fucking toxic like industrial strength acid. Those expectations he put on me corroded my self esteem and self worth.

I dropped that mindset and I still have thoughts that I’m not as good as other people in being “a normal person” and I’m still struggling to come to terms with my autism. But I’m doing better.

(Sorry if the wording seems off, I’m typing this in the middle of class)


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Anonymous 128191[Reply]

How would you describe the feelings and differences of

>Young love
>Love at first sight
>"Just Dating" / "Seeing each other"
>Loving a friend
>Someone who you genuinely appreciate and feel grateful for being able to meet, and can make you emotional because of how they make you feel
>Being "in love"
>Long term love
>Falling out of love
>Settling

Anonymous 128219

>Young love
When you're in high school or college and you date for the first time. Exciting but doesn't last long. Just don't endup with a child at this age.
>Love at first sight
Happens when you have an unhealthy attachment style. Usually avoidant. Avoidant feel intense love at first,which leads to lovebombing, and eventual discard, when those intense feelings subside
>"Just Dating" / "Seeing each other"
This is what i would say if i was deeply afraid of commitment
>Loving a friend
This is actually not that bad if the feeliings are reciprocated. you get to be love someone you're actually bonded to
>Someone who you genuinely appreciate and feel grateful for being able to meet, and can make you emotional because of how they make you feel
See above
>Being "in love"
First 2-3 years, when the relationship is still new and in honeymoon phase. if you're avoidant/commitment issues that can be 1 year or less
>Long term love
Both people have a stable attachment style, and don't stop loving each other after the honeymoon phase ends
>Falling out of love
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 128317

>Young love
When you have no idea and you get caught blindsided by strong feelings of desire towards someone. You want to do everything for them to be happy and to be with them always. You have few boundaries and if they let you, you stick to them like glue and people please to hell and back. If they feel the same way towards you, you have a wonderful time for the longest of time possible.
>Love at first sight
You see someone and you get the impression that you know them. They seem so familiar to you. You want to be with them. You are infatuated.
>"Just Dating" / "Seeing each other"
Few rules, few regulations, you both have an interest in each other. You try to see if there is secondary attraction and compatibility.
>Loving a friend
You appreciate them a lot. You want to protect them and help them but you don't want to be with them all the time, you don't want to kiss them or know every detail about them and you are not infatuated.
>Someone who you genuinely appreciate and feel grateful for being able to meet, and can make you emotional because of how they make you feel
That honestly comes across as someone you look up to or idolise.
>Being "in love"
In love means infatuated or bewitched. Your mind is occupied by the person daily. You feel excitement and glee to see them and spent time with them. You look forward to being around them. Butterflies.
>Long term love
Contentment that comes after infatuation/honeymoon phase ends. You are still attracted, want to spend time with and find the person appealing but you feel close to them and content in a way. Not likely to grovel during this phase and you see the person better for who they are and accept them.
>Falling out of love
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


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Hate Thread Anonymous 118525[Reply]

What do you hate and why?
51 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 128269

AI bros- especially and specifically the ones that use AI to generate fake gfs to abuse, use it to undress pictures of women, use it to generate porn of women without their consent, etc.

Feels like AI is just another tool in the box for men to abuse and degrade women

Anonymous 128302

moid celebrities, especially comedians who oftentimes manage to be inflammatory, woman hating and ugly at the same time in an already lousy industry that objectifies and commodifies women to the extremes. a list ones are also evil incarnate. I'd like to send them all into a giant pot of scalding water and watch the skin boil off their bones

Anonymous 128303

2a25197ec7134d529a…

>>128302
>I'd like to send them all into a giant pot of scalding water and watch the skin boil off their bones

Anonymous 128304

>>128302
Youre hating on ugly women in an industry that commodifies them what

I get the hideous moid part but please name me some celebrity women that are ugly

This looks like more of the same basic primal bimbo shit

Anonymous 128313

>>128304
I never said any celebrity women were ugly what I said the men were ugly


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Things they don’t teach you in school Anonymous 115819[Reply]

The important things. Like, what am I supposed to do when I, as a married woman who loves her husband, am feeling extremely attracted to a male friend? I wanna suppress my feelings and act like everything is normal but it’s so hard, it’s literally physically painful. I‘m feeling physically sick. Maybe I should cut contact with him, but I know that would really hurt him and I really can not do that. What am I supposed to do? I’m despairing. I don’t know who to ask
18 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 121027

>>121009
is this actually true?

Anonymous 121038

>>121027
Partly. Male deathrate in the 30s is conventionally 2x female but the younger age cohort is dying faster at an accelerated pace.
https://www.statista.com/statistics/241572/death-rate-by-age-and-sex-in-the-us/
Age Male Female
15-24 126.9 49.3
25-34 251.2 108.6
35-44 373.3 201.2
45-54 668.4 393.9
You don't really have to worry though, it's typically unmarried and especially never-married men that make those numbers happen.

Anonymous 128255

>>121009
…backup… husband?

Anonymous 128258

>>121038
> it's typically unmarried and especially never-married men that make those numbers happen.
Oh, so incels are genetic trash after all

Anonymous 128284

>>115887
>Or can it work being platonic with each other?
Nope

>>128258
Lol


__revenant_elden_r…

Anonymous 128262[Reply]

Can bad days, trauma, mental scars, and nightmares from bad experiences ever be healed?

Everything you experience for the first time, good or bad, always hits a lot harder.
Everything you experience up until 25 hits a lot harder.
Venting doesn't work.
You can't put a broken glass back together.
The cracks will still show, shards will still be missing.

Can all you do is move toward and live with everything that happened and try to find peace?

Anonymous 128263

You can’t put a broken glass together, but mentally, you’re not glass. You’re not born perfect and that fragile. Trauma doesn’t really make you broken irreversibly, but it can until you have the support and the understanding to recover. (Like people who actually get what you went through help a lot)

I had stress so severe it was incomprehensible to others when I tried to explain, never vented so the shit kept building up and my mental functioning began to actually shut down from being unable to carry that weight. That went on until I got to a safe environment with safe people who treated me normally. Then my functioning gradually started restoring because I had only functioning issues and an attitude. I’m “scarred forever” in the sense my developmental path had shifted, but I’m not suffering from past events anymore.

Idk if it made sense nona just wanted to share my experience.

Anonymous 128265

>Can bad days, trauma, mental scars, and nightmares from bad experiences ever be healed?
Dunno :( I'm waiting for mine to go away, but it's been so long and I'm tried. Only good thing is, I forget less traumatic events over the years.
I guess "time heals" is a real thing?

Anonymous 128270

Screenshot_2026011…

Taken from an excerpt on this random article I found-

“The story of kintsugi—this style of pottery—may be the most perfect embodiment of all our trauma-shattered lives… Instead of throwing away the broken beloved pottery, we’ll fix it in a way that doesn’t pretend it hasn’t been broken but honors the breaking—and more so, the surviving—by highlighting those repaired seams with gold lacquer. Now the object is functional once again and dignified, not discarded. It’s stronger and even more valuable because of its reinforced, golden scars.”

I highly recommend you read the article here- https://www.vaneetha.com/journal/kintsugi-beauty-in-the-broken

Also, do more research on kintsugi. It might change your mind on our minds merely being "fragile glass"

Anonymous 128282

4c8eabd32c40.png

>>128263
this 100%

just like flesh, the mind can heal
does it mean everyone will heal ? no
does it mean no one has a chance to heal ? no

Anonymous 128283

>>128282
In fact I’d argue purely psychological trauma is unlikely to cause irreversible damage unlike what can happen to your body. Most damage is functional and just requires a lot of effort to relearn. I’m not an expert on this topic tho so feel free to correct me on that.


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i have a phobia of female role in sex which makes me dysphoric as fuck and sex repulsed Anonymous 126444[Reply]

anyone else??? i just find the role submissive and humuliating, i dont wanna post it on nsfw board bc i dont wanna see anons talk about wanting to do humiliating sex acts i have a phobia of
29 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 128276

>>128158
Incels think sex is an act of evil done to women. They think it is good only because they are the ones inflicting it on women.
You can just not think that sex must be an act of evil done to women. This does not solve the problem of being exposed to people who still think this way, but you can just fantasize about healthy and non-harmful sex with a husbando.
You can identify a psyop without buying into it yourself.
Blackpillers are ideologically identical to incels/misogynists, as in they share the same core beliefs about the sexes. The only difference is whether or not they think their values are “right”, or “wrong” from their position The only way to be a true separatist is to eradicate your male-centered perspective. Your internal world does not have to operate on the same logic as misogynists. You should acknowledge its existence, but you should not agree.

Anonymous 128277

>>128276
They definitely do think it’s an act of evil considering how according to them women are immediately sullied by having sex and need to stay celibate for their own good

Anonymous 128278

>>128100
Only if you dont assert the female gaze.

Anonymous 128279

>>128276
Exactly

Anonymous 128280

>>128277
Yes, but it is an act of evil he is entitled to inflict on women, therefore it is “good” (when he does it).


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Positivity. Anonymous 116556[Reply]

Share any positive feelings or positive things.

Garden your soul garden.
Every focus is infinite multiverses.
Keep watering the ideas/plants that make you feel the loveliest love


Here’s a thing that has made me feel so good and is important to me:
Thousands of Polska girls and Belarus girls are covering my NorthAmerican city with graffiti. They’ve somehow clearly gotten the idea to all become collectively like a splatoon. It has changed the energy immensely and really improved the omnipresent feminism quality~level vibe. These girls have religions about ancient euro queens and it really shows, lots of ethereal stuff.. I see so many soulful girls are more comfortable loitering around and making anywhere a party! That’s SO important! Sovl
59 posts and 9 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127588

d>>116708

Anonymous 128213

A coworker gave me coconut crackers today!

Anonymous 128214

I have been feeling more confident recently!

Anonymous 128238

I didn't drink last night and I went to bed early.

Anonymous 128249

Ate good food and had sex. Now I'm going to listen to music. Life is good.


IMG_9215.jpeg

i feel so ugly Anonymous 127948[Reply]

i feel like the ugliest person ever. every single time i see my face in the mirror, i start crying because of how ugly i feel. i’ve been insecure my whole life, struggling with an eating disorder since i was eight, and with my appearance in general. i’ve always known i wasn’t conventionally attractive, but over the summer i was talking to a guy i really liked, and he started talking about looksmaxxing and things like that. i began looking into it, and ever since then my insecurities have gotten so much worse.
then in october, i found out he was dating another girl and had been talking to her at the same time as me. that made everything even worse. i hate it so much. for the past few months, i’ve only gone outside at night because i don’t want anyone to see how ugly i am. i hate going to school so much. it’s horrible. half the time i end up skipping my classes because i don’t want anyone to see me.
i only have one friend, and i don’t know what i would do without her. i’ve told her how ugly i feel, and she always tells me that i’m not, but that’s what everyone would say in that situation. she’s one of the prettiest people i’ve ever seen in my life, and i know she’s my best friend and i shouldn’t be jealous of her but i am.
i don’t know what to do anymore. i honestly feel like there’s no hope and i should just slime myself out. i also think i just need to deal with it for now and hope it gets better once i’m older cause i’m only 15. i obviously want to get a good amount of plastic surgery when i’m older but i don’t think i’ll ever be able to afford it.
idk if anyone is actually going to see this let alone read all of it but if you have any advice on being less insecure or any tips on being less chopped i would really appreciate it

Anonymous 128171

>>127948
Depends, what exactly are your flaws? Is it due to genetics or bad habits? If so, then it could be reversed as is for my case.

Anonymous 128174

You might not look genetically lucky but you can always look richer and more hygienic
But that’s not really the problem I think. You feel bad because you feel others have rejected you and you assume it’s because of the looks. There’s way more to relationships for most people and you probably shouldn’t hang out with mentally ill people obsessed with looks (looksmaxxers) because they frame reality in a way that makes looks the only thing that matters

Anonymous 128236

>>127948
I think I'm hideous but clothing and jewelry has helped me mask my self hatred a little better. If you accessorize, have a nice purse, find and coordinate nice clothes, it'll elevate you potentially.


VvLb701.png

Anonymous 106726[Reply]

post yr ideal partner
359 posts and 82 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 127372

>Tall
>Similar culture to me (mediterranean)
>Charismatic and social but also has nihce interests/takes an interest in my hobbies
>Family oriented
>Quiet/more laid back than me
>Goal oriented and driven
>Likes to always touch and cuddle
>High sex drive to match me
>Big thick dick most importantly

Anonymous 127380

>>127372
having a nice one is honestly so important.

Anonymous 128222

Corpse-like in nature and dead like on arrival. Barely there, barely breathing, all mine.

Anonymous 128224

>6'1 and above (I am tall)
>Intelligent, has goals
>Treats me like a princess (not with materialistic things, but in how he takes care of me)
>Similar music tastes (to go to shows together)
>Enjoys art (so I can paint for him)
>Likes nature walks
>Likes small boobs
>Kind of mean
>Will wash my hair in the bath
>Possessive

Anonymous 128228

pepe-cringe.gif

>>128224
>>Treats me like a princess
>>Kind of mean


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I’m just so annoyed. Anonymous 128028[Reply]

Honestly it seems like nobody knows how to socialize anymore. Everyone around me is just likes to sit in the corner and scroll on their phones. I tried texting some people and barely any of them responded. The ones that did respond only responded to me with one word replies. Tried carrying the conversation and they just read my messages and never bothered to respond. Last time i met up with someone IRL they decided to scroll on their phone the whole time instead of talking to me. Honestly this just makes me feel lonely. Why is everyone around me like this?
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 128058

>>128028
ur scrolling ur phone right now

Anonymous 128193

syndromejak-autism…

>>128028
>if everyone is autistic, no one will be

Anonymous 128196

i know it's not that easy but if you're walking out on them anyway, tell them to keep their phones in their bag or smth while you do. one friend 5 years after we left that school i'm still talking with only because i told them off on their phone usage while trying to socialise

Anonymous 128199

it's the mRNA I put in you

Source I'm bill gates

Anonymous 128200

>>128043
If that is true, you have impressed me. I have wanted to know this for a long time.


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