>>121894the early 20s is when people usually start figuring themselves out, but it takes a while and that process may be longer or harder for someone with autism/social difficulties. there is nothing wrong with being withdrawn or disinterested in popular hobbies/activities. look for things you like doing, appreciate the time spent doing those things, use your time wisely to cultivate your skills.
eventually you'll find like-minded people and form sincere friendships with them, but if you're not interested in that, there's nothing inherently wrong with it either.
if you still live with your parents, try to limit your time around them until you manage to live by yourself. understand people unfortunately will always have certain expectations, but not meeting them doesn't determine your self worth.
focus on what you can do to feel better and build a routine that isn't distressing to you, since you have a lot of sensory issues.
if you truly dream of having a daughter, dont give up on it because of current limitations. but for now you should focus on yourself. once you improve your situation then you can start thinking about that.
being scared of hurting others/going crazy are common fears for people who have gone through abuse. that drives you closer to humanity, not further from it
take care
