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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

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Anonymous 72233[Reply]

I hate that my voice cracks occasionally from time to time even though I’m a 24 yearold biological female, why must I sound like I’m going through puberty at random times as my voice cracks during midway through a conversation?

Anonymous 72236

That's not really bad, i usually find it cute, it's not embarrassing or weird or whatever you might think, it's completely normal. The big majority of people hate their voices, but it's absolutely normal and it doesn't sound like anything weird to others, we're simply too critical of ourselves. Try recording videos and stuff where you talk and use your voice, and with time you will actually become accustomed to it, and find that it's completely fine when other people hear it. It might help not to focus too much on this stuff, let it be a secondary thing in your life. For example, i couldn't delete the videos i Made with my pets because they carried precious memories even though I hated the way my voice sounded it the video and didn't want to be reminded of it, but in a couple weeks this feeling was completely gone on its own when i continued making those videos and having fun with my cats

Anonymous 72239

happens when I'm nervous or anxious, which is most times I am actually talking sooo
Maybe also from lack of use


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Traumatic Experiences Anonymous 34206[Reply]

What was the most traumatic experience of your childhood (before 20)? I'd say mine was losing my house and a lot of my belongings in a fire.
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Anonymous 71118

>>71112
This sounds like PTSD anon. You should work on getting out of there. As for him being nice to you, that was grooming so that you would let him and not run away and tell someone.

Anonymous 71233

>>71118
The housing market and rental prices where I live is out of this world, I’m in Canada and I live in one of the most expensive shittiest cities to exist. I don’t think there’s much hope for me, I can picture myself dying inside this house

Anonymous 72155

I had drug addict parents, my mom worked and my dad was on heroin all the time. Lots of sex abuse and neglect. I was homeless and drug addled myself for awhile and a lot of bad shit happened there too. I'm finally getting myself in a better place but damn it was hell.

Anonymous 72156

>>71112
My dad molested me at a similar age and it was v confusing because he wasn't a violent or sadistic pedo he was kind and loving towards me and treated me like a princess, he would always buy me stuff or take me places to get me to shut up but also violated me in the worst ways imaginable, i think it messed up my brain and gave me a really weird attitude to men and romantic relationships. You should probably get out of that house asap, sorry that happened to you, the fact it was your brother's good friend is even worse

Anonymous 72227

My dad committing suicide when I was 7 years old


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The Thankfulness Thread Anonymous 71814[Reply]

What are you thankful for?

No complaining allowed, positive vibes only!

I am thankful for living in a time and place of peace and prosperity. I can live a relatively safe life without the intense fear of war or violent uprising.
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Anonymous 71857

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I am thankful for my mom.

Anonymous 71860

>>71814
I am thankful to my parents for financially supporting me all these years and being supportive of my hobbies and interests too

Anonymous 71865

I am grateful I don't have kids or a moid parasite sucking my blood everyday<3333

No seriously I wake up everyday and look at how relaxing my life is and thank my lucky stars I didn't end up like most women I know who live perpetually hell with crotch goblins.

I'm thankful as hell I went through so much extreme challenge. I have virtually zero fear. I thank God I wrote in journals through all those years and kept at it because my mind is exactly where I want it, I'm so lucid, and creatively unblocked which was what I was aiming for like a decade ago.

Soo glad I have a night job I get to write at every night. So glad I have a job where I never feel trapped without myself and my writing.

Anonymous 71883

>>71865
What do you do anon for work? Sounds comfyq

Anonymous 72223

I'm grateful that my cat is on her way to recovery after nearly dying over Christmas. My family and I celebrated her 1st year with us yesterday.

I'm grateful for having such a loving and supportive family. We may bicker sometimes but my parents have ensured that I will never go through the poverty and deprivation they experienced as children.

I'm thankful for my friends who have stuck with me through all of these years.

It's weird typing this out considering how I was a depressed edgelord for most of my teenage and adult life but I think I'm finally grateful to be alive. Life isn't that bad at all.


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Anonymous 72181[Reply]

I feel the sadness of every woman who has ever lived.

Anonymous 72206

Me (an empath) sensing that she is an empath


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Anonymous 71917[Reply]

Sometimes I go swimming with my clothes on because it feels kinda nice.

There's something about the added weight and the way clothes float around that makes it weirdly comfortable and relaxing, but I've never been able to discover why.

I've never met anyone else who does it. People usually think I'm religious or something, but I actually just like the sensation.

Does anyone else do this?
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 72016

I love the feeling of swimming with clothes on too. Unfortunately the beach is very far and I hardly ever get to do it

Anonymous 72025

Seconding other anon, I like showering with clothes on. It feels liberating, in a way. Really recommend it if you're having a bad day.

Anonymous 72035

in hs we had to jump in the pool with our clothes and tread water, then we had to take off our pants tie the legs together to make a floatation device. it was for a survival training course that we had for some reason, probably a military recruitment scheme. anyway, it wasnt fun, but i can imagine if was wearing a dress or something less bulky it would feel pretty good. maybe i'll try it one day.

Anonymous 72180

I do this from time to time. It feels awesome but wearing even just a T-shirt when swimming is considered weird where I live, so I don't get to do it often.

What's the most ridiculous outfit you went swimming in?

Anonymous 72189

>>72180
NTA but I once swam in my full prom dress outfit, heels and everything. Okay not swam but waded in I guess. Pretty wonderful feeling. The way the fabric floats reminds me of ethereal hair floating around us when we swim underwater. Or underwater seaweed swaying with the currents


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Anonymous 71276[Reply]

I can't find a female friends that I have fun with, only my male friends make me have fun and I hate men and I feel bad about feeling like that. Also, I feel like everyone is a fucking degenerate and disgusting I just want to be able to like people, any tips?
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 71499

>>71353
cause of games ig

Anonymous 71534

You sound like a fucking faggot

Anonymous 71604

get "femcel" friends that are absolute degenerates and don't care about 3d men or hate them and are into nerdy shit they are out there and they are very fun to hang out with !

Anonymous 72091

>>71534
:(

Anonymous 72153

>>71604
how do u do this


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Anonymous 72031[Reply]

Started my training/practicum at my first shot at a real career/in the real world and workforce. This job I’m in really depends on interpersonal and social skills (both which I really lack and never got the chance to develop ever) to an extent I can kinda fake it?… but only in small instances or circumstances. I guess I also didn’t have to “fake it” too much since up until now I haven’t had to have or experience any kind of social interaction with people outside of my family household.

Long story short is I’ve been a chronically depressed (possibly autistic) hermit for my entire life and have had no social life or friends or boyfriend, and now I’m attempting to have a career in the real world but my management said I lack “enthusiasm” and that I allegedly don’t socialize with my coworkers when I should be. My management also claimed that I appear “startled” when they approach me to say hi to me when I come into work/training. They also claim they think I “zone out” or possibly dissociate (when they said zone out I assume it’s me dissociating tbh) when I’m at work.

Also I’m a teacher, or I’m in training right now to be one.
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 72076

>>72072
I'd take it a notch down and just say that you're an introvert and/or just need some time to adjust tbh. Saying you're an aspie seems risky.

Anonymous 72092

>>72076
I mean I suspect I’m an undiagnosed aspie tbh, plus i see a therapist and next week me and her are gonna talk about the feedback the management gave me lol, maybe I can ask her if she thinks I’m an aspie too

Anonymous 72093

>>72074
I’m undiagnosed though, but I do see a psychotherapist, maybe i can ask her about my suspected tism?

Anonymous 72094

>>72072
I’m undiagnosed though

Anonymous 72095

>>72076
Agreed.
>>72093
If you’re undiagnosed then don’t go around telling anyone you have autism. Also, I’m not sure if therapists can professionall diagnose. It might only be psychiatrists. Double check for your country.


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Anonymous 72021[Reply]

>be me, 18
>chronically depressed
>socially anxious, no friends
>contemplate suicide daily
>years of therapy yield miniscule progress
>math teacher one day, completely unprompted: "You know, I think anonette has really reached her high point in life. Don't you agree guys?"
>Entire class stares at me

He didn't even hate me. He seriously thought that was a compliment.
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 72040

>>72039
I don't think he was aware of the multitude of issues she was facing, who is that involved in their students lives? He was trying to be nice

Anonymous 72041

>>72040
He was aware of me having zero friends and being shunned by the entire class. And me going to therapy and having terrible insomnia for half a year prior.

To explain why it would be read as a compliment: in my native language, what he said is more akin to "she is blooming", which refers to when a person has completed their journey, and reached the highest point in their life. It's meant in a positive way. He probably said it because I had gotten over my shyness enough to crack jokes and talk in class occasionally.

It still felt like unintentional dark humor, given what state I was actually in. I thought it was pretty funny.

However, this is the same teacher who practically bullied the one fun, upbeat person in our class over her math skills until she actually switched schools. That's the real horrible thing he did.

Anonymous 72084

>a teacher paid attention to OP
Cant relate I was literally invisible in HS and uni including to the profs. They just spent all day teasing and mock debating the Stacies over dumb shit.

Anonymous 72086

>>72084
Same. My teachers all flat out ignored me apart from the extremely rare times I did something wrong by accident. I’m always amazed when people say they loved their teachers or that they have a teacher who made a big impact on their life. I even went through a phase of bringing random stuff in to show one of my teachers because I was that desperate for her to acknowledge my existence.

Anonymous 72088

>>72086
The only teacher who showed an active interest in my wellbeing was a prof who was a total bitch but for some reason took a shine to me (I guess because I was pathetic and non threatening enough) she noticed I was late all the time and absent a lot and she would get upset about it and wanted to know what was wrong because she said she saw that there was a lot of potential in me. I got an A and she acted like I just won the Nobel prize lol. It was kind of nice to have someone looking out for me and wanting the best for me, I never really experienced that before. I still ended up a college dropout NEET so it was a wasted endeavour on her part sadly, I guess she erroneously thought I was a fixer upper and not a legit fuckup.


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Do you feel weird fantasizing around others? Anonymous 72017[Reply]

I love to fantasize and I do it all day, but it feels really awklard doing it outside of home. I feel as if people can read my mind and make fun of what I fantasize about. Anyone having the same feeling?
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 72045

Not at all. I have had some of my best fantasies around other people. It's easier to focus on what's inside my mind in public rather than at home, where I could just be browsing the web instead.
Also, it's much needed moral support, so I don't feel awful being around other people. My fantasies give me the energy I need to make it through the day.

Anonymous 72053

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Yes, but it's specifically fantasizing about people who are present in my life or who I've seen recently. Like I have a huge crush on a guy that lives near me and I can't think about him in any romantic/sexual scenarios.

Anonymous 72054

>I feel as if people can read my mind and make fun of what I fantasize about.
i always had that feeling but i sort of stopped caring. i feel like if everyone really could read minds someone would’ve confronted me already

Anonymous 72056

I fantacize about having some weird ability to impress others like talking to a bird and summoning them like some fairy tale princess or like being a hero to singlehandedly prevent and rescue a group from a tragic event. Yeah it's childish and i know it

Anonymous 72071

>>72056
me too i dont know why. maybe i just want validation because i feel lonely


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Anonymous 71914[Reply]

Why do NTs do this?
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 71955

>>71915
I do this, and helps me from getting bullied, but then everyone walks on eggshells around me, as if they were uncomfortable about the fact sigh.
That, or they treat me like I’m a retard.

Anonymous 71960

>>71915
>"Hello. Nice to meet you."
>"Hi. I have autism."
>"Oh. How interesting."
>"…"

Anonymous 72014

>>71914
Great, so even if you are nonexistent to the people around you, they will hate you for it.
>>71915
I did that once with a colleague. I told them I didn't mean to be unsocial or anything, I'm just weird. They bluntly told me it doesn't matter how I mean it, they take offense to it.

Anonymous 72038

>>72014
>They bluntly told me it doesn't matter how I mean it, they take offense to it.
What the fuck do they have to be offended about? Seriously, why do people get offended by this? It makes no fucking sense, the entire world isn't about YOU and what YOU want and YOUR social preferences that are all trivial bullshit. Somebody fucking explain this to me, why people are so entitled to think the rest of the world has to bend over backwards to meet their social preferences, not even taking into consideration the difficulty some people go through to socialize? I want to kick normalfag teeth in when I read shit like this

Anonymous 72048

>>72038
This really annoys me too. I put so much energy into trying to socialise “correctly” and ignore comments that I find rude that probably aren’t rude to NTs. My masking is basically being a doormat.

Yet NTs can’t do the smallest thing for NDs unless it is over the top in a pitying self serving patronising way.

Letting NTs constantly control what is “right” in every situation is extremely damaging to NDs. I honestly think part of the reason that NDs are so easily taken advantage of is not just that they miss things and are gullible but also that they are constantly being told by the world that whatever they feel is wrong. NTs will comment on or get offended the tiniest tone or facial expression change yet don’t hesitate to tell an ND person that the lights aren’t too bright, the food doesn’t taste weird, the clothes are scratchy, etc.

The ND person eventually learns to ignore all their own instincts and instead rely on the reactions of others (and if the NTs are the ones gaining from the situation, they aren’t going to signal something is wrong).


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