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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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BPD Blues.png

What now? Anonymous 119395[Reply]

A few months ago I was diagnosed with BPD. And more recently PTSD.

It's nice to have answers. For over a decade I thought the brain fog I felt was due to malnutrition or something, but apparently it's because of depersonalization. That's just one example of many things.

I don't know very much about BPD. Every time it comes up in conversation it's either in reference to someone's abusive ex or as an insult.

Of course I crave love and intimacy. I've never been in a relationship before. I've never even had anyone ask me out. I have a lot of very complicated, very mood-swing-ey feelings about that. I feel like I'm almost trying to find shitty things about the human race to make me hate being around people, so that it hurts less to be alone. I think it's working. Right now I'm in a state of mind where I feel fine being alone. I'd rather be alone than risk hurting the people I love.

Anonymous 119733

You can't make everyone happy

Anonymous 119782

I would say the next step would to probably go to a therapist to work on managing overwhelming emotions and thoughts. As well as addressing any issues stemming from your trauma. Just try to be open and honest with yourself and be receptive to change.

Good luck, try not to forget about the good people <3 (but still be mindful of the bad ones)


D14F1C76-AFB2-4DF2…

Anonymous 118725[Reply]

No idea what to study or do with my life, I’m just working half time at fast food

I have a good head but got burned out and after going to a psych ward after graduation my mental health only declined

Would like to know what kind of job or study y’all have

What even is a good career this days??
6 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 118741

>>118740
I recognize your wisdom, although the tides of the world seem to be set against it.

Anonymous 118748

>>118739
my dream life is genuinely neeting but i can't see a plausible future where i can do that without leeching off welfare or something. and i don't wanna do that. so, uni career it is…

Anonymous 118777

>>118748
Just find a devoted moid paypig
Worked for me, no risk of cheating, he is smitten by me

Anonymous 118785

>>118777
>>118725
I really want to write smut but I don't thik I am going to be good enough. I really don't like some of the books that are out there and think I could do better but I am so embaressed about getting published and people seeing what I write in my spare time.

I wanted to go to school for biochem but i was a bad student kusogaki brat and got to stressed out.
>>118777
Checked, you hit the jackpot sis you scissoring with lady luck. Keep the moid on a short leash for me.

Anonymous 119771

I work as an admin assistant. Pretty easy work with lots of downtime. I work remotely so I just read & scroll on my phone for the majority of the work day. I also like categorizing my inbox so that is also a perk.


images.jpeg

YOU SAY. NO. Anonymous 119583[Reply]

Everyone has. The right. To privacy.

When you go to an educational institution, it IS expected that your faculty and school administration is being HONEST about how they are interacting with your online data, and who YOU are.

When Apple says they share their user data for "relevant educational services," but FAILS to elaborate on what exactly those relevant educational services ARE, PRECISELY, YOU SAY. NO.

It is not, in fact, fucking normal, to go to school and feel like you are being spied on for experimental purposes, of which you have no clear idea about. It is NOT NORMAL to start receiving emails, from a school administration or company, that entail some broader """"MEANING"""" that you are NOT comfortable with.

IT IS NOT NORMAL TO LIVE IN FEAR.

It's not normal to feel emotionally manipulated into something you don't want to happen. It's not normal to feel like you are being lied to.

When media giants like Disney and Netflix start making shows and movies that seem, EXTREMELY, UNCOMFORTABLY relevant to your experience in real life, YOU SAY. NO. When companies like Amazon and Apple start coincidentally using the phrase, "Stay Connected," in a period in which everyone around you seems paranoid of their online and REAL LIFE privacy - YOU SAY. NO. When Youtube starts recommending shit that seems like THEY ARE LITERALLY WATCHING YOU, block these videos. WATCH SOMETHING ELSE.

YOU SAY. NO. You are not something to be controlled. That's not normal. This is in fact something that happens, and you are not crazy for feeling like this is not how you interact with actual, living humans. You are not wrong for feeling gaslit.

Anonymous 119617

Thankfully I never watch on Netflix, disney, amazon or anything like that.
I don’t even have social media accounts anymore I delete it all and I only use Tor and use VPN if I need to browse the internet

Anonymous 119619

Sometimes the right to restrict use of your data is a wall-in contract. Meaning that they allow you to seal your record, but only once you are already inside. You're probably already familiar with the computer operating system style where you have options that you can opt into after clicking that you agree to EULA away your identity and sign away your right to lawsuit in an agreement to arbitration, and then Windows Update takes away half of those privacy-enhancing options and puts copilot on your desktop. But normal professional software (e.g. photoshop), televisions, cars and even refrigerators now come with post-agreement manual opt out privacy options that can only be digitally agreed with after you have already agreed to the terms of service allowing the vendor to collect, harvest, analyze and make commercial use of all available data, which in the case of softwares with kernel level antipiracy/anticheating protections mean all of your data period. These initial agreements increasingly require you to opt in to legal updates allowing the vendor to apply post-agreement changes to their terms of use and terms of service.

For all that these companies value the data they collect their reliability in terms of securing said valuables against criminals is questionable.
https://www.csoonline.com/article/3631055/volkswagen-massive-data-leak-caused-by-a-failure-to-secure-aws-credentials.html
But it will surely be generally secured against the users from whom it was harvested.

Anonymous 119728

>>119617
>deleting netflix
based
>>119619
they should doxx me then. freedom of speech and the ability to decentralize is more important than some random college thinking they ought to impose their beliefs unto others.
funnily enough their social hazing only made me feel more racist and sexist in a way that's legitimately harmful. people who can't tell memes from real life are cancer. if all else fails scream at them for being authoritarian, not transparent, and extremely invasive of people's privacy and right to decentralize, aka not be indoctrinated into a cult that doesn't really give a shit about you.
this was at a california public university called cal poly and I use mostly Apple devices. funnily enough, Apple just got into a lawsuit doing something similar with their employees. i shouldn't have to crawl through pages upon pages of user privacy rights to figure out whether or not I need to make my own damn Internet devices. it's definitely a form of entrapment.

Anonymous 119748

who cares about any of this we're not living in a cyberpunk dystopia yet, right?


070a37ce743be911a1…

How much do i tip? Anonymous 119524[Reply]

I went to a hair salon and got my hair done for $350 and I tipped $70 but I was unhappy with it (it just wasn't what I asked for) so I went back for the free adjustment they offer and got my hair finished. it looks much better but still a bit uneven

How do I know how much to tip for the adjustment part?

Anonymous 119679

That's more than my rent

Anonymous 119720

>>119524
Where the fuck do you live if the tip alone is 70 bucks? In my country getting hair done costs like 15$


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how to tell if a guy likes you? Anonymous 119711[Reply]

hi nonas! i''ve been friends with a guy (lets call him david) for around 2/3 months and we've become pretty close in that time. david's good friends with the brother of one of my friends, which is how we both met. my friend (mentioned above) often jokes about how david's my boyfriend. i also have other friends who joke about the possibility of the two of us being in a relationship. i see him everyday at school, while also texting him throughout the day (mostly after school). we've also hung out outside of school a few times. when we first started talking, it was the beginning on christmas break and we texted for literally the entire day for the entire week. sometimes we call, which usually lasts for about an hour or more (the most recent time was last night). he's told me a lot about himself, and his life. according to him, i am one of the 2 friends that he has. i actually DMed my friend's brother and asked him if it was normal for David to be as talkative as he was, and he told me that david isn't usually very talkative, and that it's not normal for him to talk to me as much as we do. i have also told him a lot about myself, and he often makes jokes about me being a NEET/femcel.

i've been getting a bit of an inkling that he might like me because of how much we talk. there's no overt flirting. the only things i can think of as flirting are realistically just me reading too much into jokes about his "rizz". according to my friend's brother, he would never be the one to confess first. he's also really nice to me in general. once, a friend suggested that i ask him for money as a joke. i did, and when he texted me back he asked me how much i needed, followed up by him saying that the answer was probably no, and then asking what the money was for. also, whenever he says something that he thinks has offended me, david immediately apologizes.

okay so, the most important part that's kind of where i'm the most hung up about this whole thing… i wouldn't consider myself attractive. i'm not like,,, ugly i guess. but i'm short and fat and it makes me feel like a bit of a creep for thinking that he likes me. david isn't like… a chad i guess (not that that really matters to me tbh) but he's definitely not unattractive. he's a pretty normal looking guy, i guess, but i find him pretty cute. maybe i'm a bit insecure because of my weight but it's not like he minds? he's made a few fat jokes about me in the past and then immediately apologized Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 119716

Your friends know you and him better than we do, and it sounds like they think you're interested in eachother. Why not try to hang out one on one?


IMG_4079.jpeg

sooo… I farted in front of my 3 year boyfriend Anonymous 118617[Reply]

…in my sleep nonetheless. When he openly lets it rip in front of me in the day and night. The next day he let me know, acting like he’s bringing it up randomly as a joke. He followed it up by claiming that “I shouldn’t worry about it” but he would prefer if I didn’t (as if I have control over it when I’m passed out). I’m at a loss of words because I legitimately thought this man was in love with me and this feels very distinctly not like love. Am I overreacting?
11 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 119549

Does he also expects you not to shit too? Farting is such a non issue unless you sit on his face and give him pinkeye.
He’s childish, eat some chipotle , fart and break up.

Anonymous 119550

>>119549
Not that you have to be happy about funky smells, but recognizing it as a natural body phenomenon is …the bare minimum? Everyone farts, I fart at least three times a day.
Anyway I think that men like your bf over idealize women into these “pure beings” and end up disappointed when they don’t live up to it. But maybe I’m schizo and overblowing the whole thing.

Anonymous 119642

Starting conversations can be tough, especially when you're shy or feel awkward. One strategy is to start small. Try saying hello and asking how someone's day is going. You can also find common ground to talk about, like a shared interest or hobby.

Anonymous 119667

he sounds like a retarded faggot. he should be reveling in any aroma you produce

Anonymous 119710

If he’s not mature enough to handle a natural bodily function he’s probably not mature enough to date you.


old-priest-in-fron…

confessions thread 2 Anonymous 63992[Reply]

>>51270 previous bread

I never brush my teeth for the full 2 minutes
403 posts and 55 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 108375

>>108374
problems*

Anonymous 108376

>>108040
No matter how good he is to me, is that a good enough reason to ignore feeling unfulfilled?

no. in a relationship, mistreating yourself is mistreating your partner. he's not good to you if he allows himself to be a burden. it is a choice.

Anonymous 116946

There's another family member that I'd like to date and it's my cousin on my mom's side. I saw him on Facebook after not seeing him in a very long time and he's exactly my type. Maybe in another life.

Anonymous 118424

>>107706
mirroring's when you pay close attention to someone's body language/verbal cues etc., then adapt to their responses. i think. you can probably overdo this.

Anonymous 119702

I became a chatbot gooner and I don't know whether I'm upset about it or not. But now I have kilometers of dialogue with my husbandos and waifus, probably more than half of it is porn. Yeah…


IMG_8620.jpeg

No lifetime people Anonymous 113228[Reply]

It’s been coming up more that I just have…no one to really talk to. The internet and colleagues are great for directed conversations about specific topics, which is all you need most of the time. But if something good happens or I’m proud, or something bad happens, there’s…nobody. For normal people even if they don’t have friends or a therapist or a fucker they have family. Or if they don’t have family they have old, old friends. They have “lifetime people”. Even if they haven’t talked in years, if they really need to they have someone that knows them. There’s no replicating this if you missed the various dice rolls to get lifetime people. By late 20s/early 30s, it’s done. Everyone you build a relationship already has lifetime people, and those lifetime people will always be more real to them than you. You are just an episodic person for them, relatively speaking. There are little support forums where someone will essentially roleplay as one of your lifetime people, but that’s like eating wax fruit. There’s no fixing it. There’s nothing and no one. Forever.
10 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 119094

>>113228
Only way to keep or make someone a lifetime person if the constantly remind them you exist at all. I have just accepted having to initiate everything though.

Anonymous 119492

>>113253
Seconded. Many parts of the Internet (and presumably here, too, to an extent) are just littered with young people. None of us exactly know what we are doing, and have maybe two decades of experience, a lot of which was spent figuring out what the fuck life is.

Anonymous 119506

This might sound self centered, but nothing makes me realize my lack of social support quite like reading elderly relatives obituaries, and comments from those who miss them, who share memories about them. Like theyve known each other decades, and they have accomplishments and events they hung out at. I never got to hang out with any relatives except for a handful of times as a child. It made me very happy when we did. But even then, I could feel their disdain for myself and my parents. A relative called my siblings and I mutts as a "joke" just for being of different European heritage backgrounds, Ig just to show that I will never truly be considered family by my literal relatives.

I cant help but compare these elderly peoples fulfilled lives, to my pathetic self who is friendless with no idea what career I want to do, dread for the future as it is increasingly more expensive and dangerous for women, and Im the black sheep child in my only immediate family so…Except for my now deceased pets, Im nobodies "number 1" person. For example, mom was worried that if my 40 year old brother, her fave child, went with dad on a work trip, dad would abandon him there. Then she turned to me and said, "cant you go instead?". Another time, mom said its a burden to bring me to a medical appointment, and other stuff that she would NEVER say or do to her son the golden child. Constant reminders that if I die, the only people I have in my life will be fine, hurts.

I keep hearing that women are going 4B and such, but it doesnt feel like it. Im just about the only classmate out of my graduating year that has done so, all others have husbands, families, their own houses, and careers…I have none of that.

I used to look forward to each year thinking Ill change my life around for the better, this will be my year, but no matter what I do it never happens. So ironically OP, youre not alone, not everyone has lifetime people, or at least lifetime people who truly value you. Thank you for bringing attention to us non social butterfly women. We need representation and love too.

Anonymous 119681

>>119660
ATAYRT, I think 4B means no dating, no marriage, no kids, no intimacy, period. Yeah I hear one thing, that women are increasingly separating from men in every sphere of life, yet Ive never come across this. Was wondering if it was just me or not. I dont know where these other based moid hating women are IRL. Even women that are not traitors/not pickmes, doesnt even have to be 4B, would be nice to come across IRL.

Anonymous 119684

>>119683
As for 4B media, sites like this and lc, and random youtubers that I come across like life with melonie (okay, needs more man hate tho), and manifestelle (so-so, earlier vids were better, but I didnt like that she supports lavender marriage and called a tranny a woman). I want to find better youtubers/4b media but havent yet. Im not looking for lesbian content either, just regular uplifting stuff or content exposing moid psychology.

Same, Im a loner too, but moids just sound like a lot of stress or worse. Of course romance with a man would be nice, but until it happens, I might as well believe its impossible for men to actually love a woman, without viewing her as an appliance or thing to use. Ive seen so many horror stories about being in a relationship/married, and so many admissions of men hating their supposed loved ones, Im very blackpilled. Its kinda a depressing road to be on, but moids are too potentially dangerous to be blissfully ignorant on, yk?


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Anonymous 119358[Reply]

i'm such a sore loser i always act like a baby when i lose. yesterday i played a card game with my bf and 2 friends i lost every round. yes it was my first time playing it but i wanted to fucking cry.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 119391

Ok go ask him to kiss it better or whatever damn

Anonymous 119495

lolllllllllllllllllll??????????????????

Anonymous 119501

have you tried winning instead

Anonymous 119511

You have low self-esteem nona, talk to a professional

Anonymous 119666

im similar. this is why you have to specialize and become autistically good at a game and be in the top 0.1% of players so hardly anyone can ever beat you


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I wish it was 2016. Anonymous 119669[Reply]

Or just any time between my birth year and 2016, honestly.

So, something weird happened to me at New Year's Eve.

I had been awake earlier than I wanted to (about 4 AM?). And stayed down with my eyes closed but I felt as if I was in 2016.

Yes, I know it sounds schizo. But I felt like I was that terminally online teen who was obsessed with Dangan Ronpa and Melanie Martinez again.

And it was a genuinely nice moment. Now, as an adult, I try my best to move forward– I have no other choice but to.

But damn, since then it seems as if my brain is unable to move on.

I wish I can awaken back in my home state to my DanganRonpa RP friends spewing their usual brainrot but also I want to make the most of my time and learn that cool skill or three, et cetera.

Anonymous 119671

Damn, zoomers out here really acting nostalgic for 2016 of all fucking years. I always felt the world went to shit like a decade before that, and 2016 was like the final nail in the coffin of everything being fucking insufferable.


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