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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 09/13/2020

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Anonymous 48988[Reply]

I don't like being gay. I don't like other lesbians. I don't like when people tell me they wish they were a lesbian. I don't like my sexual thoughts towards women either.
15 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 49057

>>48990
>Do you feel like sharing any more feels?
Most lesbians I meet in person are the 'if I'm having a son I'm having an abortion' or 'if you have fetishes or tastes that aren't my own they're disgusting' type. It feels like all the women that have likeable personalities are straight. I get that the loudest people aren't always the majority, but it sometimes feels like I'm the only sane lesbian in the world.

How does one meet cool lesbians?

Anonymous 49141

>>49057
the cool lesbians are not the one whose the first thing you hear about them is that they are lesbians. First you think they are cool and then you hear they are lesbian. Sadly they tend to get rarer by the day.

Anonymous 49337

Consider taking a lesbian cruise when the boats start making trips again. Do a little people watching on board, live in the moment, and sit at a different table every night at dinner. There are women out there that you will relate to and it might help you fine tune your Gaydar.

Alternately get on Tinder and keep swiping. Having a (random) sexual outlet could help you relate to women in general better as you would be getting your sexual needs met elsewhere and could compartmentalize the non-sexual female interactions in your life.

And aside from your inner conflict and angst, know that putting the onus on yourself not to display interest in random women so as not to upset them at the expense of your own needs is a very considerate and principled act. You are acting in a very noble way, even though your situation hurts.

Anonymous 49532

>>48991
based

Anonymous 49540

I have this feeling a lot too, I think I'm actually bi, but am just terrified and turned off by a lot of "real life" lesbains, so I have no idea if I just have curious feelings or if I'm actually bi



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Motivation Anonymous 49451[Reply]

If I am not pursuing someone romantically I have no desire to maintain my physical looks. I will do basic hygiene/maintenance but other than that I will stop putting effort into my appearance. I will wear my hair in an ugly bun everyday and stop wearing makeup. What are other ways I can be motivated to upkeep myself ?
2 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 49457

2985a51a37c8668f4f…

>>49455
I would kill himself. That guy is just rich, he is a piece of shit. moid tier advice.

>>49451
have a daily exercise routine. 50 leg raises, 50 push ups, work on your flexibility. pic related is super advanced though you do something like holding your leg up on a tall chair for 5 min then the other leg. Do this daily. DAILY.

Anonymous 49470

Tbh, make a mood/vision board and stick it where you spend the most time.
Try to allocate a 30 minute time to look for inspo about how to recreate nice looks you see.

imo if you find you still cba then perhaps you don’t actually want to be super groomed. Perhaps you just wanna chill and exist. And I think that’s ok.

Anonymous 49471

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Pick an aesthetic you like so you'll actually enjoy sticking to it. I wear dresses around the house and do my hair since I just enjoy how I look and have fun dressing up.
If you played either with dolls or dress up games as a child, look at yourself like that. That may sound stupid but it's how it feels.

Also don't wear makeup if it's not your thing. I never wear anything beyond concealer but am still read as feminine and people call me put together and cute. Just choose an aesthetic that works without it. Keep up your skincare though! Don't forget sunscreen.

Anonymous 49491

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>>49471
this is the best advice. you have to make it into something you personally enjoy

Anonymous 49526

>>49451
if you're only doing it when you want a moid to notice you then it's not really what you want to do
>>49471 has a good point



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I worry I’ll never be ready to have kids Anonymous 48826[Reply]

I’m 25, and quite a few of my peers are already mothers. The others talk of this desire to have kids that I just don’t have yet. I did always think I wanted children, and I’m scared of being an old lady with no one to visit me, but I can’t see myself ever wanting to give up living a (kind of) carefree inner city life, doing cool shit and hanging out. Does this change as you get older? Does anyone feel the same? I think maybe I’m just kind of selfish, I don’t really want to give up focusing on myself.
35 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 48978

>>48955
I'm sorry your relationship with your mum isn't the best. I'm one of 4 kids, so I have no idea what it's like to be the sole focus of a parent, but I have a few friend's who are only children and have similar relationships to you - finding it strained, distant and the divide growing as they get older. Maybe it's just a coincidence.

I suppose in the end, as long as you find someone or something to ground you and help give substance to your life, it's all good. I hope you have or find someone you can share a deep connection with, even if it's not what I focus on.

Anonymous 49034

I am fully convinced that if I were to have kids, they wouldn't live up to their 10s. They'd probably die by suicide, if not by my own hands. I'd be a terrible mother.
Some people just shouldn't have kids at all, and I'm one of them.
My own mother blames me for my lil bro's disability by claiming I hit or shook him and caused brain damage. I don't think it's entirely false because I'm fully capable of such things, but I only can vaguely remember hitting him for some stupid stuff, not going berserk on him.

>>48914
I've read on stuff that can happen if someone's physically abusing the child at a young age and I'm horrified. It makes me sick of myself because I can do that. Everyone can do that.
the stats say it's more likely to be done by a close moid of course though

Anonymous 49441

>>49034
I dont like it when people undermind or under play how harmful and abusive mothers can be. I know men to be more abuseful, especially pyschically. Most women still use emotional an verbal abuse and dont realize how damaging that is to a child.

Anonymous 49444

i am anti baby
goo goo ga ga

Anonymous 49515

>>49444
bitch come back



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Anonymous 49247[Reply]

>there are males on this board reading this post right now and they're just here to laugh at us

angry
31 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 49361

>>49359
maybe theyre a homestuck kinnie

Anonymous 49423

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>>49247
Yea, just like there are a bunch of n*zis on /leftypol/ to laugh their ass off. It happens to any easily accessible community out there.

Anonymous 49484

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is this man handsome?

Anonymous 49490

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tbh why even care that a bunch of neckbeared virgins who don't wipe their ass view cc? if I don't give men like that the time of day in real life why would I on an image board?

Anonymous 49497

What makes me feel uneasy is that some moids will come here just to lurk and never post. They'll just watch and observe and learn which somehow feels more harmful and scary than a butthurt scrote baiting or shitposting.
I can just imagine a pair of cold lifeless eyes absorbing and calculating the stuff posted on this site and judging.



Anonymous 459[Reply]

There was a friend I met from lcf's Discord that I knew briefly. We had a falling out after a few weeks but I still listen to this song she showed me.

Hello, fam.

Anonymous 49483

>>459
Good song. Thanks for sharing! :)



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Anonymous 48405[Reply]

Explain why you think your life is a mess right now.
17 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous Admin 49406

>>49402
>>49403
>>49405
I deleted the comments at the poster's request because users were talking about finding details about the case. While I believe that everyone is responsible for their own posts and I won't go around cleaning up after users, it was leading towards leakage of personal information, which is against the rules (even though it was the user herself who started it) and I made an exception due to the severity of the situation.

Anonymous 49407

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I dropped out of hs from extreme anxiety due to classmates ignoring me, stomach problems, overall depression I only realized I had last year. Enrolled in online school, almost failed all my classes procrastinating until a few weeks before the end, bought a sewing machine last January but didn't start learning until now, set a goal to learn basic Japanese by 2019(didn't do it),can't math when I want to work in tech and vidya, long for love and romance but am repulsed by the thought of other people,have 0 real friends, live in a shitty town, still in NEEThood after 3 years.
2020 gave me a lot of self-confidence (still have some anxiety in new situations of course) and I've been slowly working on my life but there's still this pervading feeling I've had for years: "I'm going to die anyway at the end of all this so why should I even bother" even when I've accomplished something, or at my happiest moments "This is all eventually going to end". So what I end up doing is playing vidya or mindlessly browse sites until I realize I actually don't care and leave. I'm extremely lucky to have a loving family but I'm scared of change so I cling to them out of fear when I should be making a name for myself. And this all started a few months before 9th grade because some ghetto girl, guy, and 1 of my friends threw stuff at me and I embarrassed myself by crying before class ended and I could leave to cry in the bathroom, and I overheard people making fun of me for not standing up to her so I isolated myself from the entire class I saw everyday.
Thanks for coming to my PSA :).

Anonymous 49408

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>>49407
And my fucking glasses snapped in the middle but the eye place is holding my prescription hostage so I have to wait until the end of the month with tape digging into my nose everyday to get new ones.

Anonymous 49410

I have a chronic illness and some mental health problems that resulted from it, I had a good job but lost it due to issues with my coworkers after a long hospital stay. I started receiving disability benefits but didn't keep up with paperwork so lost it again, then lost my apartment, all of my belongings, moved to another city, have absolutely no friends there, lost a good chunk of my long distance friends due to not staying in touch when I was at my lowest point, no motivation, no money, no idea where to go.

Anonymous 49473

No friends, no money, mentally ill, boyfriend wants kids but doesn't want to get married.



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Was I being used as time-killer? Anonymous 49381[Reply]

I confessed of liking to a guy that is older than I am as I want to know where he are heading. He rejected me by saying that as of now, he doesn't find anyone sexually attractive and I should see him as a friendl

But I felt he deliberately led me on and wrote it off as being friendly. We have only known each other for a few months and he telling me that he loves me, he misses me etc. I put up a boundary saying I don't accept my friends saying those words to me and he agreed.

We also often go out for walks, dinners and lunches and text each other almost daily, which I understand might be platonic so, I let it be.

Soon, he started making lewd jokes often. I feel that my sex life isn't something I am comfortable telling about to a random friend whom I barely know nor should he be casually sharing about it to me.

He also joked about how r*pe is the solution to everything and he tends to overly sexualise whatever statements he can. I felt disgusted by him so, I ended the so called 'friendship' as I felt that collectively , his actions are considered as inappropriate as I repeat, HE said we are just friends.

Now he is complaining publicly that females always either fall for him or always complaining about his 'openness'. That none of them, females, can just be his friend.

I felt bad for abruptly ending the friendship as we did spend alot time before so I asked if the statement was about me and if he wants to talk about it? He just went "nope, not you".

Is it bad if I feel like he wanted to just use me for a boost of his ego and for his benefits, or is that so not the case?
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 49388

>>49383
I confessed before those two happened.

Anonymous 49390

He's an asshole OP. Don't overthink it, just be glad he's gone from your life.

Anonymous 49397

>>49381
You weren't being used as a timekiller more than any other friend in a friendship is. Only difference is this moid seems to have incredibly poor social skills due to poor upbringing. Unable to articulate himself confidently he outrageously posits statements about rape in hopes of creating outrage to justify his loneliness not due to personal failing, but being rejected by those around him.

Anonymous 49399

>>49381
>He also joked about how r*pe is the solution to everything
Why does this not anger you? Why do you still WANT to talk to this person?

Anonymous 49422

>>49381
Wish I could give you any advice, but he's just a jerk. Good thing that he's gone.



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Anonymous 49018[Reply]

Lately I find myself in a loophole of anger.
I have this habit of making a post or comment on social media and getting an inevitable hateful reply that makes me angry, so angry to the point where I want to reach into the screen and brutally beat up the person on the other end. And even though I know the next time I'll post a comment, I'm gonna feel that exact same way and get so angry to a point where it makes me sick again, I just can't stop.
It's like I'm on a treadmill effect of anger, is this healthy?

It's not even partial to one social media platform, it's all of them. Reddit, YouTube, instagram etc.

I leave a comment with my opinion that goes against the grain of what people want and I get hate for it and then I get into pages long arguments with them that only leave me feeling angry and unsatisfied, like my anger could only be quelled if I met the actual person in real life who is saying shit to me and I could just beat them bloody and senseless until they couldn't get up from the ground.

Is this healthy to do and to constantly make myself feel this way?

Anonymous 49019

Delete your social media accounts. Or at the very least, stick to female majority places.

I used to be the same and would spend hours arguing. The arguments are pointless though, no one reads them, no one changes their mind, and half the time no one properly knows what they are arguing about.

It sounds weird, but I find that if I draft the comment in my head then it's easier to forget about it. Putting my thoughts in order is good and you don't get an annoying replies.

Anonymous 49039

Holy shit are you me? I had to delete Reddit for this very reason. I kept getting into pointless arguments with retarded Redditors and I got banned from a subreddit for “being a TERF.” Everyone has brainrot on there. Delete it.

Anonymous 49400

Accept that you don't have control over other people's beliefs and ask yourself why it bothers you when other people have differing opinions.



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Copycat Anonymous 22563[Reply]

Are you a copycat? Have you ever stolen aspects of another girl's personality, interests or fashion sense on purpose to be more like them?

If I told anyone this in real life, they'd probably think I was bizarre, but i want to get it off my chest. To be honest most of my personality now and my likes and dislikes and interests were stolen from a girl who's blog I used to read 3-4 years ago. She wasn't anyone e-famous but I just stumbled across her and somehow I became obsessed. I cyberstalked her all over the internet and I started listening to every band she posted about, watching every movie, posting things with the same sense of humor and going over her selfies for aesthetic details every time she posted them so I could try my best to copy her style. I've never spoken to her openly but I used to send her all sorts of anon messages so I could find out things about her to better emulate them. Eventually I stopped stalking her accounts as much and lost track of her online profiles as she would change names a lot. Recently I checked back to find she was completely different now, and in my opinion much less interesting. I'm still basically a reflection of her from 4 years ago, and I'm fairly comfortable with it all still even though it sounds quite creepy when I type it out. Most people who know me now weren't really around in my life 4 years ago, and they have no idea that almost everything about me is copied from some random girl online i've never even properly spoken to. I still use some of her dead aliases as screen names (don't worry, only as nicknames on places she would never be able to see or be disturbed by if she did find me). Am I alone in this? is anyone else this creepy?
22 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 49364

I realised today that every job I’ve had has been inspired by someone else I knew that had it first. Some of them are pretty uncommon. I’m retraining right now for another one. I guess this makes me a bit of a copycat, though I think it’s more that I have always had trouble imaging my future self and these types of jobs never seemed to be within reach before.

Anonymous 49369

Could be a BPD thing, actually. I know armchair diagnosing can be offensive, but flimsy sense of identity like that, that is also influenced by people you admire is common with BPD.

I take unconsciously take inspiration here and there from girls (noteably a wrestler called AJ Lee - I even bought all of the same comic books and read them), and even guys I develop obsessive crushes on, but I don't full on skinwalk.

Anonymous 49370

>>49369
I feel like I absorb little bits of every person I know, with some people moreso than others. No one could peg me as a skinwalker, though. For reference, I have BPD.

Anonymous 49373

I feel like I have some BPD traits but not this. A strong sense of identity is like the only thing I have going for me.

Anonymous 49393

>>49369
I'm pretty sure I have cPTSD which has some overlap with BPD. Growing up my parents always tried to force me to like what they liked and ridiculed what I liked.

I guess when I copy someone I'm a bit like a kid wanting to be like the grown-ups around them who they admire. As a child, there were no other adults in my life except teachers who I didn't bond with much. Not even extended family members.

I think I have a bit of wild imagination too and can create a whole amazing life and persona from a few details about someone. Because it's fake it always seems much better than my life.



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Anonymous 49336[Reply]

Has anyone here had emotional numbness from antipsychotics and got their emotions back once you switched to different antipsychotics? Is it possible?

What if the antipsychotic i wanted to go on was one from years ago that didnt mess with my emotions?
Would it still work? or not?
2 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 49341

>>49338
btw diagnosed as schizoeffective, i i was recovering too off of them, but kept losing touch with reality becuase of the stress of no emotions (but stress and anxiety) pretty much.

Recently told people about my problems, everyone still wants me to take it though.

Anonymous 49342

>>49338
I had good effects with quetiapine 6 years ago though, i am hoping it will work when i take it as my main medication again and it will give me back my emotions, if not im fucking quitting and never using any ever again..

Though i am scared if i end up in the ward again becuase they will force inject me (again)

Anonymous 49343

>>49338
What i wouldn't give to be "partly lobotomized" compared to this….

Anonymous 49349

I haven't had emotional numbness yet, but I have gone through major life changes in the past month. My main illness is BPD and I'm given it to control my delusions and paranoia. It works pretty well, mixed with an antidepressant and a mood stabilizer. I'm on risperidone at the moment and I take seroquel if I can't sleep or am panicking.

Anonymous 49350

>>49349
I meant I've gone through emotional life changes that usually affect people strongly and on top of that I feel strongly, so maybe that's why the numbness hasn't hit in yet

I did feel numb on Prozac, though. My meds were switched out by my psychiatrist and the new antidepressant I've been on for months has not had the unpleasant side effects. Are antipsychotics all you are on?



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