/feels/ - Advice & Venting
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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Update to rule #7: 08/17/2018

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Am I the only fucking person that doesn't have a "shitty ex bf" Anonymous 15514[Reply]

Like seriously what the fuck, I was talking to my friends the other day and all four of them had stories about emotionally or physically abusive boyfriends that they had stayed with for long amounts of time, I then started looking online and asking about and apparently this is really common.

I had no Idea this was a major thing outside of films and tv, no wonder guys talk about how "nice guys finish last" etc; they're all dealing with or getting rejected by girls with trauma from getting beaten up and cheated on.
54 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 17050

>>16899
…what?

Anonymous 17074

>>16995
Ffs, do you even have a dad?
Toxicity is about people, not “masculinity” (or femininity, for that matter).
And sure in some Western cultures men are more likely to give an unsolicited opinion to others (including to men) but that’s cultural.
Not the same anon, but damn! the provincialism of most Feminists astounds me

Anonymous 17126

>>16995
>Literally doesn't think men feel entitled to give their opinions when they are unsolicited
How is this just a male thing?

Anonymous 17128

>>17126
depends on context its common for males regarding topics of sexual harassment. Regarding other topics, both are guilty

Anonymous 17877

>>16966
If he was really keeping you safe he’d move you out of that shithole.
>safer across the border
in all seriousness though the chances are you’d be with someone big and strong enough to protect you in an emergency are slim. Anyone can carry and shoot a gun, in fact a smaller person might even be quicker with a gun in case of an emergency because they can reach it from the holster quicker. but lets take guns out of the equation. say you are walking with a bf in an ally and a group of men come out who want to rape you. At that point it doesn’t really his height. your pretty much fucked. Maybe if he’s like 6’4 and it’s 2 guys they’ll avoid the fight. But what are chances that really happens?

A better question is: do you want your bf to be safe? Do you want a strong bf to throw into crazy situations, or do you want both him and yourself to feel safe? I think a motherly type wants both herself and her partner to be as safe as possible, but a childish daughter wants a bf to go pick fights and protect herself from situations she shouldn’t be in to begin with.



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Any femcels here Anonymous 14730[Reply]

>Whats stopping you from not being a femcel

For me its not like there aren't any guys that are into me it's just that its hard for me to connect socially with people.
48 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 17721

probably because I'm ugly, but I tell myself it's because I'm very shy

Anonymous 17754

>>14730
Once I get my skin clear I'm finally gonna be below average, I'm so tired of being ugly fuckkkkkkk

Anonymous 17774

>>17698
Have you ever cried or experienced hard emotions/feelings before? If yes, then there could be something stopping you (poor sleeping conditions for long period of time, untreated depression, etc) if not then there must be something deeper. If you plan to see a psychiatrist or psychologist please perform a background search and make sure they are qualified for their job or you can end up there again.

Anonymous 17809

not a femcel (opposite problem. fending off advances because of asexuality) but I have friends that complain about not having a boyfriend while also having a few people they're not-quite-friends-but-not-quite-lovers deal going on.

From what I see with them the issue is really twice shy (girl is shy, boy is also shy. either the boy gets into a relationship with someone else or things just stay awkward between them).


>>14777
this might sound very normie, but yeah i agree with poster above. it's not hard to get a guy. if you are willing to settle (that's unfair to you both, but ok) there's gonna be someone as lonely/lonelier than you are that wouldn't mind you as much.

if you're even less concerned about the quality of men you're attracting just be a thirst trap and edit the heck out of your photos. there's gonna be some person willing to bite.

Anonymous 17853

>>17809
>opposite problem. fending off advances because of asexuality
I don't hang around enough people for that to be the case. You must be a social butterfly or have a big group of acquaintances.



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Anonymous 17792[Reply]

About 3 years ago in my last year of high school I fell out with one of my best friends and I really regret it now. Should I bother apologizing or is it too late?
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 17798

>>17792
Do it right now. It’s only too late when they’re dead and that might come sooner than you’d think.

Anonymous 17799

I had a similar situation and I apologized for it a few years later. We didn't go back to being friends, but I was glad that I did because it got rid of the guilt.

Anonymous 17800

being friends post hs sounds tough… i mean i've seen people do it but it's always kinda rare. but definitely apologize!

Anonymous 17813

Yes, do it ASAP and stress that you dont want to lose her because of some dispute.

It's only in people's heads that apologizing is sign of weakness.

Anonymous 17848

What did you do?

Depending on your answer it may or may not be a good idea to reconcile.



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Anyone have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) Anonymous 17814[Reply]

I've been feeling really really out of the ordinary. I'm usually a pretty positive person, at least I can always think of something to do if I'm bored or if someone needs a laugh.

Lately, though, I've not wanted to do anything. I don't want to go get coffee and write. I don't want to exercise. I do want to sleep a lot. It's almost as though I can't control it. I just need like 3-4 extra hours of sleep and i still don't really feel good, but I can function. I can't seem to focus. I hate everyone, including myself. I've been wishing i could just cease to exist. Sometimes i feel like crying, but I can't.

It's really confusing, because this isn't at all how I normally am. I made an appointment with my doctor, but wanted to get other's thoughts.

Anonymous 17818

I've been sleeping lots more but that's about it.



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Advice General Anonymous 6683[Reply]

In this thread we ask (or give) for advices to or from other miners

Don't be unnecessarily rude to each other
100 posts and 15 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 17730

>>17728
Apologies in advance for shitty advice but personally, I've managed to cry less when I saw someone else cry. I realized how odd it looked like that people shed water out of their eyes when they're sad. So every time I get sad now, I think of that one person I saw crying as an onlooker and stop myself from doing the same thing. You logically know you're sad, there's no point to getting your eyes wet and looking like a mess afterwards.

Anonymous 17731

>>17062
Oh damn, soon to be stripper anon right?

I dono, probably freedom from your parents sounds right. I'm clueless about university.

Anonymous 17734

>>17729
Usually I cry every day I go to college at least. Then I usually cry on a day where I'm not at college (so at least 3x per week). These I categorize as my self-loathing, depressed cry sessions and they can last for a while.

Then there's the usual crying at anything cute, happy, emotional, slightly sad, etc. in media. I've become self-conscious about all of this recently because I used to never cry at anything no matter how much it hurt and over the last 3 years I've slowly begun to cry more to the point I'm at today.

I guess they're not tantrums, I usually will somewhat begin in public but barely keep it together, then the faucet is turned on in a bathroom stall. I feel like at my age I should be over crying so much.

>>17730
I'll keep that in mind. I don't cry in front of other people for that reason, and I'm a "silent" crier (tears will fall down my face and I'll sniffle but I don't make noise other than that). Reducing to what I'm feeling to an abstract emotion sounds helpful, too.

>>17731
I post a lot here, but this is the first time someone's clocked me. Thanks for responding anyway, it makes me feel better. I learned that I didn't get the job I interviewed for today and while I'm glad they let me know instead of leaving it hanging, it is a downer I'll have to suck it up and face the music. To clarify, I'm just nervous about having to deal with lots of people all at once, but I'm sure I'll get over it once I'm doing it.

Anonymous 17765

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Bullshitted my way to a bachelor's degree in a pointless major and I'm finally realizing I'm not cut out to pursue the job I want(ed). Now I'm 25 and thinking about going back to school for graphic design.

Right now I have a part-time job doing some graphic design work, but I'm totally self-taught (messing with Adobe programs since I was 10). I've been thinking of opening an online store featuring my designs, but I'm not 100% confident in my skills, hence my desire to take legit classes.

I also want to go back to school to meet people. I recently moved, and the only way I've ever been able to make friends in the past was through school.

At the same time, I'm worried I'll quickly lose interest, or I won't be good enough, or I'll just be wasting my time and money on another bullshit degree.

>"Why don't you just take free/non-degree-related classes somewhere?"

Tried that earlier this year with another interest of mine, couldn't motivate myself enough to do the work without grades, felt like an idiot for even signing up

Anons with graphic design degrees, or anons who went back to school in their 20s, plz lmk if it was worth it

Anonymous 17785

What's the fastest way to get married that will not end in abuse or divorce?



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To suicide or not to suicide? Anonymous 17525[Reply]

I am obese (over 100 kilograms), ugly, unhygienic, mentally ill (untreated even though I went to the psychologist but I will tell you later), unpleasant to be around with (even my so called online friends talked shit about me behind my back - i cut off contact with them though), and incredibly naive and dumb.
So, to fix all these problems I went to the psychologist for YEARS. But they didn‘t help me, or barely did. Or it didn‘t help me because I am incurable. I am the type of bitch to not shower for weeks and be okay with it, because I don‘t care honestly. Today i ate like shit, my mom didn‘t cook for me and I am not allowed to cook for myself so I warmed up some canned meat (no bread or anything just the meat) and even though it tasted like literal shit, I still ate it because I was hungry and literally don‘t give a shit about the taste of my food. I am fat because I eat a lot of it, but the taste of the food I eat is literal garbage and has been garbage for some time (4 years). I recently went to school for adults to redo high school since I am too stupid to not have been able to graduate high school MANY years ago, literally. My mom paid me a lot so I could go to university, but I failed all of the times in the past 4-5 years. I know I should go to trading school since that is where retards like me go but community college level 2 didn‘t accept me back when I was 16 and I didn‘t want to go to community college in my town because I was heavily bullied in my first year. (Yes i did the lowest level of community college/trading school).
Obviously, I didn‘t have ANY friends EVER in my life. Nor did I ever had some fun, except going to mc donalds. Yes these are the exciting things I do in my life. I never went to starbucks either, even though i really want to. But the only food thingies where I go to are ghetto shit like mc donalds and shit. I wanted to go to some concerts on my own but my mom told me it‘d be better if I‘d lose weight, make some friends and graduate my adult high school, which I will never do anyways. So I won’t ever have fun in my life. I got in my first semester only Fs. And I missed an important math exam today which I was supposed to redo. I only do this year three subjects, maths, chemistry and biology. And next year i was supposed to get the rest of my diploma. I wanted to complain about my mom since she didn’t want to help me today with my homework, but honestly looking back I don’t have the right to complain. I was a pretty Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
12 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 17547

Try and see if you can get a supplementary exam for your maths test you missed, maybe try get a note from your psychologist, I'm sure he/she might be able to help you. If you do get a second chance, don't screw it up. Please, I want to see you pass that test and get your diploma.

I don't see why anyone would laugh at you for this. Everyone has their own struggles to overcome, anyone who does laugh at this is likely just using it to make themselves feel better about their own insecurities. Ignore them.

Studying can be easier if you find a reason to study the subject. It could be pure interest, it could be that you think it's very important, whatever it is, find it, and treat it like you're exploring a new universe. If that doesn't work, then just fill yourself with fear of failure so that you bust your ass and pass the exam. These were my approaches in highschool and university, the third of the options I found to be most useful lmao

I'm sorry you were bullied, but you're an adult now, surely people aren't going to bully you anymore. I think you should focus on hygiene and study first, and weight second. I know you don't care about hygiene but it'd be easier to make friends if you didn't smell, and this is coming from someone who's very self conscious on how she smells. Being overweight isn't much of an issue, only an asshole would be put off by someone not meeting their physical ideals, you can always look away if you don't like the way someone looks, but unfortunately our noses don't have the same luxury (I hope this isn't mean, I'm just trying to convince you that you should care about hygiene at least)

I wish you luck with whatever happens anyway, I want to believe you'll make it in the end.

Anonymous 17554

Why are you not allowed to cook for yourself? Asking this out of curiosity not hostility.

Anonymous 17709

>>17525
I think you should try out some hobbies in your free time and see if you enjoy them; stuff like sewing, music, drawing or anything creative. You don't need to be good at them since nobody is when they first start but you can only improve so long as you keep doing it.

Anonymous 17718

>>17554

I'm not OP, but it may be due to a past mistake or living situation. I know my adult brother who lives at home isn't allowed to cook because the noise wakes up my dad.

Anonymous 17776

>I don‘t want to live and if you‘re reading this/making fun of me now give me one reason why I deserve to live
If you've already eaten this much shit thrown at you from life, you may as well get some eventual payoff instead of cutting everything short, right?

You can fix being a fat bitch gradually with minor diet swaps, even if your only heat source is a microwave. Your mother shouldn't also be telling you to lose weight when she won't let you control what you eat, leaving you to vacuum down cans of unhealthily salted meat for sustenance, which is a point you should maybe raise carefully if you don't talk the words good. Other people in the thread brought up good suggestions as well, so I'd recommend reading then rereading them to incorporate any useful elements into your own life. Don't be so focused on past embarrassments, everyone's kept awake by random mistakes no one except they themself recall, you're nothing different



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Anonymous 17736[Reply]

What are really beautiful men like? Do you know any? Doesn’t have to be a bf or lover, can also be your friend, colleague, classmate, neighbor, brother, dad, whatever.

Is it true they’re all dumb and rude?
12 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 17760

>>17748
You're cute. <3

Anonymous 17766

>>17760
You too!! Lol

Anonymous 17767

>>17753
>australian men

So you mean the aborigines males? Or the ones with english ancestors?

Anonymous 17768

>>17767
the ones who are overrepresented in american hollywood movies; for instance the bloke who plays thor. I can't pronounce his name though as I cant speak Australian

Anonymous 17769

>>17767
>So you mean the aborigines males?

This is most likely what she meant.



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Boyfriend's Voice Anonymous 17579[Reply]

My boyfriend normally has a clear, tenor voice, but when he's talking to strange girls his voice drops like an octave and turns to a deep baritone. I think this deep voice is incredibly sexy, but it kind of bothers me that he never uses it when he's talking to me, except when he just woke up. I talked to him about it and he says he doesn't know what I'm talking about. Should I be worried?

Pic unrelated.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 17583

How long have you been dating? Anything over a couple of months with no engagement proposal is bad news.

Anonymous 17584

>>17580
Agree with this.
When around new people my voice deepens and becomes more monotone, I've noticed. Does he do it around men, too?

Anonymous 17587

>>17580
>>17583
Not per se more attractive, but it doesn't happen around ugly girls. I wouldn't call it monotone either, rather melodious, reassuring, fatherly even. He's never been uncomfortable around girls that I've noticed. We've been dating for about half a year now.

Anonymous 17607

>>17587
guys lower their voices when they speak to someone they find attractive. it's like some body language sign that he's attracted i read somewhre

Anonymous 17763

>>17607
Or when they want to appeal more "powerful" in social situations. If they're complete strangers he'll be on guard and will try to look strong. Around you he can relax and drop his guard



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Happy Feels/Vent Anonymous 345[Reply]

Share the good things that have happened to you recently!

I randomly got a call for a job that I didn't apply for, but the job offer is my passion (cake decorating)! I went to the interview yesterday, and was hired immediately. The chef is a cool druggy gamer guy as are the other dudes in the kitchen, so now I'm gonna make a bunch of awesome cool nerdy friends! He really liked the cake I brought him and the work I did. The pay is more than I was expecting.
The only thing that makes me nervous is that he also wants me to work the line, which I've never done, but the place is classy so we're putting out beautiful food that I'm really proud of and even messing with molecular gastronomy, which I've wanted to get into for a very long time! I'm so excited to do my best.
273 posts and 59 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 17722

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I'm going to be going on a date this weekend at a nice, little French restaurant. I'm very excited, yet nervous at the same time, but I think my happiness is overpowering that small bit of anxiety. We've pretty much both established that we're more awkward in person, so I'm not too scared of being an awkward mess in front of him. I'm also super thankful that I've met this person. We have long conversations on text, like messaging full paragraphs about various things. I love it!

Anonymous 17723

>>17722
this made me smile
have fun on your date, anon<3

Anonymous 17724

>>17722
Grats.

You better update us after the date.

Anonymous 17725

>>17722
Please resist the temptation and save yourself for marriage.

Anonymous 17727

>>17725
Your posting really grew on me. I love everyone here. Never stop.



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Anonymous 1167[Reply]

Can we have a wholesome thread?

Post memes, stories, anything uplifting. <3
237 posts and 159 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 14263

>>14242
I just wanted to post it because it's interesting and sad ok,

ree

Anonymous 17619

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Anonymous 17707

pocket hedgehog.gi…

Hedgehegs pour toi!

Anonymous 17708

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>>1167
That one person who is up for any adventure.

Anonymous 17716

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This pic is my life in a nutshell. T.T

>>2074 omg my heart

>>1870 I love birds so much



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