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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 01/18/2019

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online dating Anonymous 21655[Reply]

if someone on the internet you don't know very well but still talk to, kept calling your girlfriend bad names and told her he's going to rape her, what would you do?
11 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 21695

>>21694
>online dating
lmfao

Anonymous 21697

>>21695
I bet they met on 4chan and have known each other for a few weeks at most. OP, get some standards. Verbal abuse isn't drama.

Anonymous 21698

>>21697
thx i know but we knew each other for 2 years and im kind of sick of him since this is a big fucking deal to him when its really not and that he cant stand up for me and says im being dramatic and shit like that it just gives me a fucking headache im so done lol

Anonymous 21699

>>21698
you made the right choice

Anonymous 21700

>>21699
thanks i just made him say sorry and everything and now im blocking him on everywhere hopefully we wont talk again



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My dead crush Anonymous 7776[Reply]

When I was a depressed NEET a few years ago I started reading old literature to cope. I found a writer I really identified with and started reading about his life, too. After a while I started to dream about him, and was a little obsessed. I'd daydream about being born decades and decades ago when he was still young and alive, meet him, and we'd fall in love and be together. Sometimes when I was in worse mood I'd think about killing myself and meeting him in the afterlife kek.
I think I fell in love with "him" and this feeling lasted a long time until I broke free from neetdom.
I want to know if what I went through is common at all… Maybe it isn't and I am a freaky weirdo, but I want to know if anyone here has ever had any similar experience.
19 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 8109

relevant song (though it's about dead women)

Anonymous 21645


Anonymous 21649

>>7776
I've had this but with fictional characters. Anime characters. Two of them. I had constant fantasies about the first one for three years, since I was 12 until I turned 15 and found the other one. I've been with the other one for four years already… I spend a lot of time by myself so I talk to them… It's fun, I know my fantasies aren't real but they make me happy

Anonymous 21652

>>8005
Hold on OP, you haven't told us who the writer was

Anonymous 21659

>>21652
>replying to a post that is 7 months old



11daa36cb7cdbd0c6a…

Pressure to excel but I want to do something else Anonymous 17807[Reply]

Hi all, posting here rather than on a forum for anonymity.

For context, I'm currently a college senior at a top university in my country in Asia. Not gonna reveal too many details, but basically it's a school full of people that are wealthy, smart, or both.

There are lots of things happening in my life (young adulthood and graduation are transition periods after all) and for the most part I'm happy with where I currently am.

I am content with being average. although I am fine with being average, and I am currently contemplating to disinherit myself to become a monastic, I don't think my family or the people I'm surrounded would appreciate it.
I feel pressured to excel, and it does not even have to be an explicit, verbal thing. Because of my background (above), it is very easy to feel insecure when you're acquaintances with the children of businessmen, politicians, scholars, celebrities, artists, athletes, musicians, etc. It is easy to brush away insecurities regarding famous people, brushing off their beauty or glamour as 'photoshopped' and 'curated.' But I find it not so easy at all, in my case. When you go to class with actual models, national athletes, and teenagers that have start-up companies… even some of our country's presidents are alumni of our uni. It's frankly a surreal experience.
What makes it even more surreal is that seeing these people as acquaintances just going about their day, their day-to-day lives aren't that far of a stretch to the ones filtered and manicured in a social media profile. Another thing is that many of them are unaware of their privilege. While there are always those that are jerks about it, a lot of them are just so… "humble," or at the least, "innocent" about it? Real conversations I've had with my classmates on their experiences such as: 'oh i lived in 5 different countries growing up because my dad's a government official,' or 'yeah I placed on a national scholastic competition when I was younger. it was ok' or 'i do practice every week because i compete for the national team' etc. to name a few.
The thing is, they're so unassuming and nonchalant over their achievements and privilege you can't even hate them for it. The humility might just make one admire them even more.

I think I have some qualities that aren't bad at all, but I still can't help feeling inadequate by comparison to my (very skewed) social circle. I do not want to bring my friends down, buPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
9 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 17914

>>17912
Pinoys go all over the world and breed like bunnies, when the rich kids fuck up and can't get into murican/where-ever university, they fall back on the dual citizenship cheat and send their kids to the top filipino uni! I wouldn't belittle the top pinoy uni's kids. Like i wouldn't rank xiaxue above them.

Anonymous 17915

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>>17909
>>17911
>>17912
Just chiming in to mention Zhang Jingna, who started out as a hobby photographer on deviantART and now travels the world shooting fashion covers and celebrities, and she was an accomplished athlete before that. Not a household name or traditional celeb, but it's gotta count for something that she's a world-famous artist now.

Anonymous 17916

>>17915
She ever wrote about her classmates in art school shitting on her because she was often out of school to do air rifle, but her work was graded better than the rest
And isn't she based in new york now anyway? Or anywhere but singapore

>tfw too young to have gone to a meetup with zemotion

I still wish i helped her scatter the petals or something when she did those victorian maiden shoots. By the time i joined the comm even her friends were gone

OP 21481

63267c57ef7d54caad…

Hi all, sorry for necro-ing this thread. I wrote a reply a month ago but the browser seems to have reloaded or something and it didn't save. sorry!! I read the earlier replies and thank you for the advice.

>>17894
Thank you. I know people like that too. People that 'peaked' in high school (or earlier) but then end up dropping out of uni because of depression/other issues. Whenever I see those coeds of mine I can't help but feel a bit sad because they weren't able to make use of their full potential.
Will definitely look into Blue Zones as places I can build my future hermitage hahaha

>>17899
Yes I'm really just bearing with it as long as I can lol. I really hope I "learn" to love the career path my major leads to - as much as I want to live rural I need the money for my family.

>I also feel very inadequate in comparison to my colleagues at college, which isn't half as prestigious as yours, but sometimes I just realize how lucky I am to be among such smart people and that being around them will help me grow, too.

it's a good perspective :) it really is a blessing to be around people that help you grow. Thank you

>>17907
Yeah it's really crazy. I grew up middle class too, but when I was in high school my dad made some good business deals and suddenly they could afford to send me to this expensive uni. It was really a culture shock. The stereotype that the rich are 'detached' from how middle and lower classes live isn't a stereotype AT ALL.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 21653

>>21481
Glad to see you live, op



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Self harm general Anonymous 11340[Reply]

Anyone else self harm(ed)?
>Why
>How
>Advice
>Have you ever been caught?
>Do you want to be caught?
>Do you try to leave scars?
55 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 20664

cut my forehead (covered by bangs) and eyelids today. nothing tells me to do this. I choose to do it. I hate being such a wretched creature. I secretly hope that I'll be able to gain enough courage to slash my face up. It's an idiotic though, though, and I don't think I'd actually go through with it. I'm just so stupid.

Anonymous 20688

does anyone else self harm by self sabotage or by destroying relationships and drug abuse?

i dont see enough spoken about about alternative ways that people self harm, especially wrt their relationships

Anonymous 21278

>>11340
Anyone else self harm(ed)?
Me
>Why
Sometimes I feel very very sad and hurting myself replaces emotional pain with physical pain. Other times I do it to punish myself. On occasions I just lose control because something triggers me
>How
Uhhh I started cutting my wrists, then after watching Fight Club (lol) I started punching myself. I also scratch my arms. When I feel sad. It's more painful than cutting because the next day it still hurts (forgot the exact word in english)
>Advice
Uhhhh don't do it? Punch a pillow. Cry. Hug a pillow. Just don't do it it's kinda dumb but it helps me
>Have you ever been caught?
Yeah, last year I had an episode and cut too deep so my mom had to take me to the hospital and I got nine stitches. I have lots of scars but she doesn't care. I'm glad I don't have to live with her anymore since I turned 18
>Do you want to be caught?
By someone who cares? Yes. If I had someone I could trust I'd stop. But I don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon. It's not like I do it everyday, it's not a habit
>Do you try to leave scars?
Uhhh I guess?

Anonymous 21643

p061vxcq.jpg

>Why
I'm scared all the time and feel like absolute shit. I do a lot of things that I don't really understand. I have told myself that I deserve it. Also turning psychological pain in real pain.
>How
I cut myself with the razors I took from shaving blade I broke. Used to do it on my right arm, not too deep but a lot of them. Now I do it on the shoulders and chest, easier to conceal.
>Advice
Don't. If you are really going to I can't stop you, I know that. Be careful with the strength you apply, things can get dangerous really easily. Clean the razors, an infection like that is not easy to explain.
>Have you ever been caught?
Yes, one time when I was a teen I burnt my skin with friction and a nail. First time I had ever self harmed and actually it was pretty big. It got really nasty and had to get help.
>Do you want to be caught?
No, I'm ashamed for doing this. I have told two friends, they don't know I keep doing it.
>Do you try to leave scars?
I don't think that I try, but I have some… I haven't taken out my shirt in public for more than a year.

Anonymous 21647

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>>11340
>Why
I started again because the reality of workplace hit me twice as hard as usual. I came back to my work after a month's absence. I didn't ask for this. It's other people's fault I'm who I am. In this place between doing something with life and killing myself. I just go to sleep after work and wake up next day. Smoking and drinking is the only hobby that doesn't take any effort. I wish it was possible to go either way.
>How
Smoking and drinking. Attractive and successful people do it so why can't I?
>Advice
If you were bullied kid from pathological family who can't even make people chat with you, just stop trying.
>Have you ever been caught?
No. And I'd rather not let my family know about it.
>Do you want to be caught?
Hella no. I'm not an attentionwhore.
>Do you try to leave scars?
On my lungs and liver? Sure do.

This is so cringy.



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Anonymous 21635[Reply]

Okay, so I'm going to attend a uni party this Saturday in a house. I'm in love with this dude for like a year so I thought that if I meet new boys at this party I might get over him. Any tips on being more friendly, making more friends and maybe finding a bf. I'm a tall, socially awkward female and I'm at least a 6/10. Any tips on how to act and what to wear in general?

Anonymous 21638

Have you tried asking him out? Most men are autistic and don't understand us.

Anonymous 21641

>>21638
He probably knows that I like him and he doesn't like me back believe me.

Anonymous 21644

>>21641
You should ask him; will give you a definitive answer

Anonymous 21646

>>21644
I agree. Even if he rejects you, at least it gives you some closure to move on.

Otherwise, you will continue to obsess. This guy lives rent-free in your head. You'll be liberated from that if he rejects you.



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What do you do to cope? Narrator 3515[Reply]

In a world of stress and sorrow, with only glimmers of Hope and joy, what is it that drives you? What makes you feel right, and whole? Me personally, I've been pouring my soul into D&D and podcasts for it. Other than that, I spend a lot of time laying around thinking.
40 posts and 15 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 21549

>>21538
what podcasts do you guys listen to

Anonymous 21568

>>21489
mom, dad, my 4 brothers. Dad has been playing since '77 so we all grew up playing. Every other Sunday we go back to see mom and dad, Dad makes pancakes, bacon, and more, we have brunch, then play for hours, then mom serves dinner (something from crockpot and delicious) and we play late, then head home.
A slice of childhood twice a month. We all just enjoy the day and each other.

Anonymous 21573

>>21549
Richard Lewis if you are into eSports and can handle banter

Anonymous 21583

>>21549
I like
>Last Podcast on the Left
>You Must Remember This
>Hardcore History
>My Brother, My Brother, and Me
>Freakonomics
>Stuff You Should Know
>Radiolab
>This Podcast Will Kill You
>all the stuff from the Belfry Network
I used to like listening to Hidden Brain and This American Life but they got really political after the 2016 election so I dropped them

Anonymous 21613

4.png

>>21539
I have me a couple of new ones but posting more than 1 would probably get me b&



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Anonymous 21564[Reply]

how can i get over my ex who cheated on me? we're still talking and he's always on my mind.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 21570

>>21566
/thread

Anonymous 21572


Anonymous 21584

What's the story, OP? Also, FPBP

Anonymous 21587

he's always on your mind because you keep talking to him. quit it.

Anonymous 21589

>>21566
it's literally this simple



ricardolopezrosend…

Why exist box? Anonymous 21166[Reply]

Why guys are so violent and trying to destroys themselves?

>Be me

>have a younger brother
>brother be a boxer
>i never see a boxing fight irl
>he invite me and my friend to see his fight (just to impress her).
>whynot.png
>Go and see the fight with my friend and family
>finnish the fight
>My brother looked like a balloon at the end
>he even't win the fight
>that night i confront my brother
>"do you want to die?"
>"where is the fun?"
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
4 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 21232

>>21166
i don´t know, but they look so hot with his pants

Anonymous 21242

>>21166
Life shouldn't be about locking yourself away and not enjoying yourself. Whether or not your brother enjoys boxing or just wants to impress others, you should encourage him, after all we only live for such a short time. Let him have experiences and make the most of everything he does, its better to try something and experience it than to regret never giving it a go for the next 10 years ❤

Anonymous 21557

1547581704347.gif

>>21172
>he should not be in the ring
Boxing is a sport and a fitness activity. Many men find fulfillment through moderately violent sport + activities (recreational wrestling with friends is extremely common among men, especially outside the west where it's likely only declined due to close male relationships being characterized as homosexual by society.) There's nothing wrong with a boy / man boxing regardless of his motivations. Most physical (and hence mental) damage from boxing is cumulative, with few exceptions, so unless you build a career out of it chances are you'll be fine.

>>21174
>fasting is a test of will
Fasting CAN be used as a test of will, but it can also function as a perfectly legitimate method of controlling your diet, providing the fast is controlled and done sensibly.

You really throw a lot of advice out considering you don't know much about the topics you choose to weigh in on.

Anonymous 21559

>>21557
Fasting is mainly meant as a test of will. It is not supposed to substitute for a proper diet. You're supposed to build discipline with fasting not lose weight.

Anonymous 21561

>my brother just tell me that women likes fighters and he wants to improves himself.

this is gay and pussy as all fuck.

the only reason i would respect is
"i like beating people up and i like to get beat up"

also as a woman who likes pro wrestling, i actually hate shoot fighting. i'm not impressed by people getting hurt for real



78947BC4-3303-42AC…

Anonymous 20254[Reply]

>cute guy in my class
>shy and introverted like me
>have never talked but we both still know each other
>both of us steal glances at each other multiple times a day, both look away quickly everytime
>has been going on for a few months now

what do?
6 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 20345

You don't necessarily have to say anything to him. Come half way with this, wave to him, sit next to him, don't use your phone, and try to look as welcoming as possible. Make it so obvious for him that he has no fears of getting rudely rejected or embarrassed.

Alternatively you could just say hi to him and let the nature take care of rest.

Anonymous 21446

oo-l-just-22009690…

>>20254

>cute introverted guy in my class

>become friends
>actually begin out to hang out privately
>Tfw he's an extrovert normie with literally millions of friends in private and only an introvert in school

Whyyyyy

Anonymous 21451

>>21446
Being introverted is cool, now. Please wait at least one(1) year for poseurs to leave. I'm sorry for you anon. Don't give up your search.

Anonymous 21558

>tfw you will never get a shy introvert bf because you're too shy and introvert to approach him and so is he
it hurts

Anonymous 21560

>>21558
Approach! Do it anon!



kuromi.png

Anonymous 20984[Reply]

what are good tips for moving away from obsessing over old friends/old habits?
i want to stop posting onto 4chan so much and want to stop obsessing over my ex.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 20996

Agree with above anon. Maybe find a subject to study or a skill to learn to steal away the time spent obsessing? Works for meeee

Anonymous 20998

Cold Turkey for 4chan, and I agree on finding a new hobby or picking up an old one. Coding could be a neat thing to do as it keeps your mind busy. A musical instrument or knitting / crochet could be options too if you wanted to keep your hands busy.

Anonymous 21001

>>20984
Don't forget, you're here forever. As long as an anonymous forum exists, there is a unique draw to posting unhindered of previous forum reputation or IRL reputation/history. As anon, you disappear into the wind with every thread, so you can say what you truly feel, talk about whatever you want to talk about, with no baggage carrying over to other conversations ever. I barely speak aloud anymore, but I can have dialogues about weird shit here or elsewhere with other people I can only meet through this magic portal we call the internet.

Anonymous 21241

Take up a time consuming hobby, I took up art and anytime I have free time I use it to work on my craft. I use to waste entire days on internet forums but now I'm way more productive, whenever I'm not studying for classes I'm either working on my app or drawing.
Just try to stay busy so you don't feel the need to do those bad habits.

Anonymous 21544

I used a web browser extension to block 4chan except for 20 minutes every 12 hours. Really 20 minute is all you need to pull up a couple threads worth any of your time. It's pointless to hope to ever be completely free, but I don't want to anyway.
Now I waste my time reading fanfiction instead. I'd block Ao3 too, but my phone (main method of browsing it) sucks and this ship has me by my throat. What can you do.
But there's only so much fanfiction, so it's also allowed more time for reading books again, which is nice.
Thanks for reading my blog. Try it out OP.



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