/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Come here, wayward souls, for any matter big and small. Insight to comfort can be found here for your issues or conundrums.

i think bpd is made up to make women look as stupid and emotional as men but i know i have some kind of mood disorder and it's always been hard for me to hold onto friends. i've put in the work on myself and i have matured a lot. i live out in a remote location so it's hard to meet people and i get so lonely. i really, genuinely need some girlfriends… but i don't want to be desperate. does anyone have any advice on meeting cool girlfriends?

Where do moids get off saying we are are attracted to "dominance"? Like sorry we just want a moid who isn't a total pushover and able to provide for us, that means we are all masochists or something

What do you hate and why?

I don't know how being a woman isn't seen as an existential nightmare. If a man gets raped, it's awful and shameful and he can get PTSD for the rest of his life. But if a woman gets raped, she gets all of those things on top of pregnancy, and either has to get rid of something that's already developing inside her, or go through with an already agonizing pregnancy and give birth to a child and take care of it. A man will quite literally never have to go through that.

I think I only learned that there's a fear of childbirth one or two years ago, and I still am shocked that it's not something in every woman. I've had this "fear" since I was a kid. But to me it's not that different from a fear of snakes or spiders. I never wanted to go through pregnancy back then, and I still don't. If I ever did decide to have children, I would adopt. But right now I still have a fear of experiencing forced pregnancy (or rape) for whatever reason. It doesn't help that any woman I've talked to seemed confused, or thought I was being irrationally paranoid.

I guess I wanted to know if anyone else felt the same.

So, I’m in my twenties and maybe I shouldn’t be as insecure about this as I am… But people seem to make an effort to stare me down in public and I wish I had a reason for why that is. Especially on campus.

I mean, I have a few ideas? Maybe? I am rather tall (about 5’11) but this doesn’t make sense because other taller women would stare me down, too.

I figured maybe I just seem a bit unkempt? I put some thought into my appearance— to look as though I’ve showered, at least. But there are others on campus who go in cosplay gear or whatever and don’t seem to draw attention like that.

It’s not in my head because I’ve grown paranoid enough to glance back at them which leads to awkward eye contact.

And I’m not being approached or asked out so I’m also ruling out “eye candy”. As I said earlier, I don’t really dress to impress most times. I do enough to look somewhat presentable and that’s it.

My last best guess is maybe others are right and I do have autism and the “‘tism” stare. I probably look and move a lot more awkwardly than I think I do but I’ve seen myself in reflections before and there’s nothing odd about my walk?

Ugh.

I need help. I've been with this man for 10 months now. I have an anxious attachment style, and he has an avoidant attachment style. It is so exhausting to deal with, and you might say, "Well, just leave him!". It isn't that easy, and frankly, I do not want to lose him. I really do love this man, but we just have so many conflicting moments, more than cheery ones. He always has time for his friends, but never has time for me. The moment I have even an hour alone with him, he feels the need to leave and talk to his friends. I just want closeness, and he doesn't. BUT! when we finally get close, it's amazing. We share good moments together, but it never lasts, and I just end up depressed when it ends. Begging for his attention and affection. There was also a time he vented to this girl about our relationship problems, knowing she flirted with him. And after knowing I wasn't comfortable with that, he still chose to talk to her. He finally stopped talking to her recently, I think…He's very secretive, and when I beg for reassurance, he never gives it. Screenshots? Nah…you're an insecure bitch. Deal with it. It's not fair. It seems like I'm the glue in this relationship, but it's wearing thin…I can only give so much. He's eating everything on the table, but…I need to eat, too. He dismisses my feelings. And he's also never once apologized to me for his shitty actions. I'm always apologizing, even for things I didn't do. He makes me seem crazy for begging him to give the bare minimum. And when he wants my attention, after not giving him any, he tries to get a reaction out of me. For example, he'll post pictures of nude girls, in hopes of ticking me off, so that I give him attention. Even if it isn't positive attention. He's also almost always drunk, so it's like I'm talking to a brick wall when he is. He's also humiliated me in front of his friends, MANY TIMES. He talks bad about me to them, and makes me seem like the villain. It isn't fair. Fuck, man…I just want him to love and appreciate me.

ive been NEET for so long that i can’t even desire to make in person friends. where can i find (preferably girls) like me that need online friends?

I’ve been struggling with my hair.. I miss my heavy waves/loose curls. When my hair was shorter i had the prettiest curls. How can I get maintain my curls without cutting my hair? It’s become too long and too heavy to hold my natural curls

cutting off 2 more people from my life, I feel like a wave has washed over me. In my 21 years of life ive had to cut of so many people and im glad i had the courage to do it. these people didnt give me the same energy back and that is ok, i dont deserve to put myself in a situation where im burdened by whats supposed to be a healthy friendship. ive learnt to not be dependent ony anyone except for myself after i left home at 17. ive been at my lowest lows and bounced back from them at full force, nothing can get me down. i hope my ex also knows i meant it when i said he couldnt hurt me, i mean it no one can hurt me ill always learn to turn the pain into power. ive still got alot of growing to do but i know im always going to be changing and improving like the world around me, humans arent made to be stagnant. the date is 31/10/2024 (happy halloween) and so far ive started working out and shaping my body into how id like to be viewed by the world, im studying towards cyber security and id love to work a remote job so i can see the world. Im not afraid of the future because i know whatever the world throws at me i will stay resiliant.