[ Rules / FAQ ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / x ]

/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
Name
Email
Email will be public
Subject
Message

*Text* => Text

**Text** => Text

***Text*** => Text

[spoiler]Text[/spoiler] => Text

Image
Direct Link
Options NSFW image
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
| Catalog
Check the Catalog before making a new thread.
Do not respond to maleposters. See Rule 7.
Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

pig.jpg

Do you also feel like its humiliating to put on makeup? Anonymous 121759[Reply]

i going out tomorrow with some people from college and i feel like i should put on some makeup to meet them, but i hate it so much
not only i hate how it feels on my skin, ii also makes me feel like such a clown
im obviously doing it for others, for people that dont even really care what i look like, but it is what is expected from me and im so desperate to fit in that im willing to do it
7 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 121798

37f237e1f4d9c144cc…

I try to get into makeup every few years but I always look like a desperate clown in the mirror so I wipe it off and give up. Trying to hide one's ugliness is more humiliating than just being openly ugly and not giving a shit.

I see all sorts of crazy transformations online and I wish I could look like someone else too, but I've accepted that you still need a specific kind of face that agrees with makeup, and that a lot of those tricks don't work under natural or overhead lighting anyway.

Anonymous 121864

>>121759
Don't fit in, stand out
It's the lack of confidence when you're not wearing any that makes you awkward, not the lack of makeup itself

If you are indeed rejected from a social group because of this it's a blessing not a curse, why tf would you want to be friends with people so shallow?
>>121772
This can't be real, reads like a fanfic

Anonymous 121890

IMG_5803.jpeg

>>121760
Make up isn't art, it's a clown mask, it's society making you believe that your bare face is flawed and ugly, that you should feel bad with yourself for daring to go outside without hiding it, that you're you're dirty and unprofessional. There's nothing artistic about hiding every single feature that makes you you and looking like a carbon copy blow up doll like everyone else. You can't cry, you can't drink, you can't laugh, because "oh no, what if my make up gets ruined!" Make up prevents women from LIVING. Ask yourself why it's only women that are coerced and socialized to hate their faces and always paint themselves, to have panic attacks at the mere idea of going out and being seen without it, ask yourself why almost no man gets told the same, why they aren't seen as unkept or unprofessional or ugly. They can just go out into the world as they are and they'll still get respected, still get hired, still be thought of as hot, or at the very least just remain neutral. Men aren't spending all their saving on products worth thousands just to be "presentable", they aren't spending an unholy amount of time "getting ready", all it takes is being clean and dressing properly and that's it. Ask yourself why. Think of all the things you could accomplish if you started loving yourself while also saving time and money.

Anonymous 121895

Makeup is just the modern day western equivalent of wearing a hijab. Except you're not expected to cover yourself as protection, you're expected to doll yourself up for male gaze.
The only reason makeup isn't as bad is because the pressure to wear it is merely implicit.

Anonymous 121899

i used to feel that way when i wore unflattering makeup. i first started wearing makeup for a job interview at 19, but i found that if done correctly it actually made me feel more put together the same way that putting on nice clothes does. but there were many things that were quite unflattering on me that looked good on other girls. examples being darkening my brows/using any brow product so now i wont rlly touch them, any lip product that isnt glossy, sheer and light, as well as thick foundation so now i use korean cushion foundation. but needless to say, it took a little bit of trial and error to get there and now i wear very light/natural makeup but if you dont want to wear it then dont. i caved into pressure and i always wear it for classes and such, but if im just going to the grocery store i wont bother.


rin.png

How do I feel comfortable wearing makeup? Anonymous 121518[Reply]

I want to start dressing nice and wearing makeup but feel really uncomfortable and out of place doing it. It just feels very wrong even though I'd like to try. I think it's a combination of me being autistic with no social skills and never fitting in especially with other women, not having friends, money or going out growing up so never thinking about my own clothes until adulthood, being very boyish and being horribly bullied and outcasted at my all-girls secondary school so I felt alienated from anything womanly as a whole. Plus I'm pretty childish and retarded personality-wise so there's going to be a clash between the way I would present while dressing up and me naturally being annoying. Most of the time I only wear shirts/trousers because it's masculine/androgynous so it feels natural, I feel like I can be my retarded self and I put no effort in; I'm not very attractive anyway so along with my issues of feeling wrong for acting and dressing feminine, I'm terrified that I'll be mocked for it, like 'why does that ugly bitch think she looks good?', or 'why is that tomboyish autist wearing that?'. I'm far from a model but I don't want to feel ugly. I'd rather not try.

Tried wearing skirts and makeup a few years ago during college at ages 17/18 but felt horrible, I think I rushed into it and should've slowly started dressing nicer rather than coming in all dressed up one day but it still felt so very wrong. I still daydream about getting validated by my secondary school classmates all the time precisely because I felt I was so ugly, so retarded, so below them and so alien; I feel like going out dressed the way I've wanted to since I was a preteen would not only fulfil what I've always wanted to do, but also help fix my need for validation by feeling like I'm at least not autistic enough to only wear graphic tees and maybe even alrigth-looking.
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 121550

People don’t really care, but as someone who was in your shoes I just gave up on makeup and focused on dressing “nicely” and skincare/haircare instead. Casual but still modest dresses in particular are great if you’re not doing anything active. Low effort to look nice in other people’s eyes and comfy. Just make sure to consider your body type when picking dresses out. Skincare is as simple as just using sunscreen in the morning and a moisturizer at night that you’ve found works. Hair care is just doing things like braiding long hair before sleeping, gently detangling during conditioning starting at the ends, and adjusting how often you shampoo (usually less often unless you have super straight and fine hair). It’s so low effort that it’s hard to feel bad about trying but the results work well. I get complimented on my hair and how I dress fairly often nowadays thanks to the little changes I made and don’t really feel bad about going without makeup anymore. My skin’s better off without it anyway.

Anonymous 121554

If I had the audacity to dress up I would but I've seen a lot of girls in my position with aweful makeup and dress sense. If I cringe at it then I'm sure others would too and I'm not confident that I wouldn't make horrible choices.

Personally, I tried stepping it up just a little, I changed my jeans for Hakama style pants and then started wearing some thin patterned scaves. That made me feel a little more flowy and feminine in public without putting my gangly body on display.

I kept everything a muted palette to stay under the radar.

Maybe just make some baby steps in the direction you're hoping for.

Anonymous 121591

>>121518
>I'm terrified that I'll be mocked for it
As another hyper-tomboy autist I can tell you that literally no one cares or thinks this. It would take someone with a personal vendetta against you to think this but if you don't have that kind of enemy then don't even worry about it. Granted, it may surprise others but I don't think they'll be saying all those awful things you mentioned, but really no one ever says anything.
I don't really wear anything girly but starting small does sound like a good idea. I think a long skirt would be the easiest to transition to from my experience.

But I understand where you're coming from (though in my case I just gave up entirely on girly stuff for a different reason), I struggled a lot during hs to make friends like every socially inept person does, and my family especially my mom started blaming it entirely on me being so tomboyish and the way I dressed when we didn't have to wear the uniform so it made me extremely insecure and self-conscious.
I then changed high schools and no it turns out the issue wasn't really the way I dress or my interests like I was made to believe, sometimes you just don't vibe with people and that's ok. I was able to find really good friends in that new high school and we'd have a good time hanging out and having fun and they'd dress way more feminine than I ever could and it didn't matter that I contrasted with them. One of them is my best friend to this day and she has the nicest family.

I do advice you to start making an effort even when you dress tomboyish in the way that you should think about dressing nicely. Try a different type of shirt that's not a graphic tee (not that those can't look nice but they're a bit too casual, I feel), look for some nice pants of different colors or fits and don't forget to get some stylish shoes that you like and go along with your other outfits. Experiment a little so you look a bit more interesting too. Dressing nicely, even if not super girly goes a long way. I also take good care of my long hair and that always brings me compliments. It's about doing what you can to look nice, not what you don't like to look nice imo.

Anonymous 121738

>>121518
I feel the same as you..
sometimes i get so paranoid about how i look i cant even choose clothing that i like bc all i think is people judging me. probably because of school trauma

Anonymous 121891

>>121518
Then just don't do it. You said it yourself, it makes you uncomfortable, you tried it and you didn't like it, you already have a style that feels good and works for you, so why change? Just because society says that a woman should be uguu pinky cutesy wutesy feminine girly pop?? Fuck that, you can do whatever you want, don't pressure yourself into doing things you don't want to just to conform, it'll only make you feel worse. I'm also autistic, so I understand the discomfort, disconnection, and sensory hell that makeup and tight "girly" clothes can bring, but trust me, you simply don't have to, erase the idea of what a woman "should be like" from your head. Be free and happy.


Dealing-with-a-bre…

Anonymous 121881[Reply]

Is it justifiable to break up when you dont feel the spark anymore. this my first relationship with my bf and its the same for his we have been together for 8 months now and i just dont feel like it anymore and im too afraid that i might hurt him when i tell him i dont kinda want to be with him anymore. It was fun for the first 2 months i felt this warm feeling in my stomach but after that it felt mundane and repetitive and not as exciting anymore im not sure if i lost my love for him but i didnt even gave a defition of what love is to him but what he said to me is that he also lost the spark to but every single day he keeps choosing me because he said that love is a choice not a feeling and even through ups and downs no matter what he said that he will always choose me but im not too sure i agree with that since i just dont have that feel anymore to him also he didnt turn out to be the guy who i thought who he was which disappointed me ideally. During our first date i made scenarios in mind my on who hes going to be and he wasnt that guy, i mean hes not a bad person i like and love him but i just dont feel like it anymore, he didnt do anything wrong to me he didnt put his hands or verbally hurt me its just that i think i lost my love for him. My co workers told me that its not his his business if i leave him since its my life and my decision and i deserve that someone who makes me happy

Anonymous 121883

>>121881
nobody "deserves" anything, that's toxic positivity crap. but if you're already unhappy after 8 months it's not gonna last so you might as well save both of you the wasted time and break up now. the beginning of a relationship is the best part and after that there's a slow decline. if the decline is already bothering you after 8 months imagine how bad you will feel in 5 years. big mistake to try to stick it out. after 8 months it's not full on butterflies all the time but there IS still supposed to be a spark.

so follow your gut feeling and break up. just don't sugarcoat or justify your decision with any magical thinking bullshit about "deserving" this and that. you know the relationship isn't going to last and you want something that will last long-term. that's a good enough reason.


IMG_9988.jpeg

I’m a terrible sister Anonymous 121483[Reply]

I’m the failure of my family. I think my upbringing was pretty rough, but out of my 4. other siblings, I’m the only failure. My younger brother and sister are both well adjusted and normal human beings with jobs and houses. My older brother is kinda a weirdo, but he is super nice and makes a lot of money as scientist. And my eldest brother is the coolest and best person I’ve ever known. He literally took beatings on everyone else behalf and practically raised my siblings and I after a certain point. He always protected me and helped me out, even though I’m a worthless person. One time he beat up a kid who hit me and his girl friend always talked to me because she knew I had problems making friends in high school. He was the kind of guy who would stop on the highway to help cars on the side of the road or lend everyone else money. He even started a few side hustles for my other siblings and I, but I never really got into them.

A few years ago he got married to his girlfriend and was promoted to an amazing job . He had the perfect life, perfect friends, and perfect relationship, and he deserved it. I was always super jealous of him and my siblings even though it’s my fault my life sucks.

About 2 months ago my eldest brother’s wife and kid died so he started drinking. Because his job involves cranes and boats, he got fired when he showed up to work drunk too many times. His life has gone to complete hell and I’m pretty sure he is going to kill himself drunk driving.

All my other siblings and his friends are doing everything they can to cheer him up, but there is literally nothing I can do. My sister and younger brother keep taking him out to eat. His wife’s family is helping him clean up his house. Even my weirdo shut in older brother is driving 300 miles a week to hang out and work out with him. I don’t have money to do anything for him and there is literally nothing interesting I do to talk with him about. I don’t have a family of my own for him to be around like my younger siblings or share any interests with him like my older brother. I can’t even help with all the side hustles that are falling apart without my eldest brother, because I have no real skills.

I wish I was nicer to him and I wish I could do something for him. The last time we talked, he told me he was sorry for not helping me more to have a better life before his friends had to carry him out of the bar.
9 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 121624

>>121567
Hope it all went well at the visit. The aggression between each other is just a moid way of exploring boundaries, very important. My mom used to intervene between my brothers when they were fighting as kids because she was uncomfortable with it and they've sort of become enstranged as a consequence, it's sad because they could've been best friends.

Anonymous 121636

>>121624
I think they did. sorry my posts have been sloppy. I usually only post here after drinking a bit. I’ll try to write more clearly to the 3 people reading my posts XD. Even if no one actually cares, it kinda feels therapeutic writing about it, even if I’m not the one suffering most here. Also I’m going to be super rambly here, so sorry in advance. Also I know its probably obnoxious having me refer to my brother by older and young, but if I use a fake name, I’ll probably start using their real ones by mistake.

So, I showed up at my eldest brother’s house last evening. When I pulled into his driveway, I saw my second oldest brother since he was outside laying down a bunch of stones to make this terraced garden thing. In high school and college, he had a job in earthwork/construction, so he is pretty good at that sort of stuff even though he works in a lab. He zones out really hard with headphones and he didn’t notice me until I was right next to him. I spoked him and he dropped a big stone on his foot, but he was cool about it after rolling around in the dirt for a bit. He told me he was trying to make a cool new garden for my eldest brother because he wanted a nice garden and to change things up to remind him less of his wife and kid. I guess that makes sense, although I’m not sure why he doesn’t just move from that house if it’s that much of an issue being there. My older brother did not pick me up and threw me into a piece of furniture, so thankfully my dream about that was no prophetic.
When My older brother and I went inside, and my younger brother and eldest brother where inside playing call of duty zombies. I think my younger and second oldest brother carpooled after work to head over to my eldest brother’s house. My sister wasn’t there that day. For about 2 or 3 hours, we played zombies. When we were teenagers, we’d play zombies a bunch since my eldest brother bought a Xbox 360. I never liked playing it much, but because COD was the only game my brother would buy, the area I was in was too rough to run around, and I had no friends, it was one of the few things I had to do growing up for fun. The only person who hated it more than I was my second oldest brother. He owned a computer as a teenager that he’d play his own games on and was willing to do stuff outside by himself, so he never got as good at the game as the rest of us. We spent a goPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 121637

>>121636
So, we start a fire in a firepit in the backyard and just hang out. We talked about some childhood memories and our family. It was pretty calm and nice. Eventually, my eldest brother gets messed up and My brother carry him to his room. Only my older brother came back out since my younger brother decided to pass out too. Things became pretty awkward since we weren’t talking, and he kept going over to the stick pile to keep the fire going. I don’t remember how, but we started talking about our lives and what we were going to do about our elder brother. He told me something about his old job being willing to taking him back, since he was one of the few people at the port who could get things done. I suggested we try to find him someone else to start a family with, but he said that it would be a bad idea. He also poked fun at me about being too alone myself to be a good wingwomen anyways, but I thin he wasn’t being mean since he doesn’t really have any relationship experience either. I have a lot of trouble reading him, especially when drunk. I remember asking him if I should go to the gym with everyone else and he told me I could but that I probably wouldn’t like it. He said he was going to try to find a beach or hiking trail this weekend, but I said I probably couldn’t make it. Not sure why I said that, but I did even though I never have anything going on. At some point we just start throwing asmany sticks and leaves as we can on the fire to try and make it huge. Then I remember sitting down and resting my eyes and waking up on a couch.

I’m 90% sure I was carried inside but I can’t remember for sure. I don’t know if this is weird, but I enjoy it when you smell like smoke and wood after being around a fire. I called out of work today because I was still kinda buzzed when I woke up and I hate my minimum wage job. I’m still at my brother’s house and I’m probably about to play zombies again in a few minutes as of writing this. I already cooked up some dinner with the help of my younger brother. I want to tell them I will go with them to the beach or whatever. My sister is coming too, so it would be super fun, I think. Idk, this whole situation feels weird, but I think I’m happy. I’m going to try and talk with both of my older brothers some more.

Anonymous 121692

>>121636
>>121637
So it sounds like you were actually useful Nona, you did very well! I'm sure they all appreciated having you there. And yes, you should totally go to the beach with them.

Anonymous 121880

Updates?


a1af5393-984d-47bc…

Anonymous 121833[Reply]

The man I had a one sided para social relationship with has a girlfriend now.
I should get a life!
I don't really want to get in a relationship even with the person I'm talking about
Idk what I'm even talking about
What is my issue
I want love one day and nothing the next 28 days
Idk idk idk anymore

Anonymous 121834

How do people decide if they want marriage or kids

Anonymous 121835

I need to read mangas with women like me

Anonymous 121876

this reads like you have avoidant tendencies. does this reasoning apply to other aspects of your life or only with love?

Anonymous 121878

>>121876
Mostly with love and friendships and human relations. With other things I'm very welcoming. I actually Irecently found out about my dad cheating ( he still does ) …so it has become worse.


scenegrill.jpg

watery discharge Anonymous 121848[Reply]

the most embarassing thing just happened
i live at home with my family and i was wearing bra pants and a oodie – thank lord i did because i had 10 second non stop disscharge running down my leg. so embarassed because it was on the floor and down my leg luckily my oodie was worn because it literally saved me from my family seeing it

Anonymous 121849

Wear underwear

Anonymous 121850

does it rlly just run down like that without stop? ive never not worn panties

Anonymous 121869

i think you were pissing nona

Anonymous ## Cleanup crew 121877

Moved to >>>/hb/21750.


ai-generated-lonel…

Anonymous 120577[Reply]

We're all here because we're a bit weird in some way and struggle to connect to the outside world. How do you guys cope with it? I have pretty much numbed myself to the fact that other girls don't want to be my friends and even if they did I'd be lonely in my thoughts anyway being a freak and all. I don't want social advice, I just want to know how I can be more comfy going through this world alone mentally. I'm glad this site exists so I at least know there's some girls like me out there somewhere.

Anonymous 120578

I bother my sister and have started to turn her into a mini me. I use chat gpt characters …pathetic I know lol. Growing up I hated it because no one would want to be my friend they only wanted me to trauma dump or home work. Slowly I retracted back into my own shell and got more online. Once I mentioned something about going on imvu and celebrating my birthday w my online friends and my " friends " gave me a super judgy weird look. I know its bad but not that badddd. Now life is too busy to worry about friends and I have started to enjoy my company. Easier to find like minded people online.

Anonymous 120579

>>120577
it doesn't get easier. the only way to feel less lonely is basically by distracting yourself. having a schedule can help (work or school) because then you aren't alone with your thoughts as much and when you get home you just want to fall asleep. it can also be more isolating though because you might see people at work or school talking to each other. getting really into a media (TV show game etc.) can help too. last night i couldn't sleep so i spent a couple hours talking to myself in my head about house md. talking to yourself in your head or writing stuff down as if you were talking/texting/writing a letter to someone else helps.

Anonymous 121852

>>120577
As it gets worse over the course of your life, it helps to try and identify others who are in a similar state and make actual friends. Generally you can find them online; they are too sparse irl for chance encounters. If you don't hurry and do this ASAP, it gets much harder to cope.

Anonymous 121853

>>120579
>last night i couldn't sleep so i spent a couple hours talking to myself in my head about house md.
I… I need to find you.


download (11).jpg

scared of intimacy Anonymous 107544[Reply]

every time I become close with a man I can never get far with it because the thought of intimacy is so scary to me. Holding hands hasn't even happened for me because I just cant bring myself to do it. It's not like I haven't had the chance, because there's been multiple romantic opportunities in my life. Ive just pushed them all away. Does anyone else struggle with this? If so how can I get over it? I've never had some sort of trauma that could cause this so i'm very confused as to why im like this. Maybe I'll just be kissless and hugless forever.
7 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 107563

200w.gif

>>107562

Anonymous 107566

Why y'all replying to moids

Anonymous 107568

>>107565
Erm no idea who that is. I also don't know who you are I was just joking in >>107563

Anonymous 121845

I am 20 and have my first "irl" boyfriend. I like him a lot and we get along so well. But I do not understand the appeal of kissing.

I am not asexual, I have no sexual trauma, nothing. It just doesn't make sense to me? I fear intimacy, I think I will die a virgin.

Anonymous 121846

>>121845
Maybe because you inwardly want to wait until marriage, only society pressures you to be intimate before then?


Gp3McRzbMAAAdql.mp…

Anonymous 121818[Reply]

Last all nighter of the year. Never doing this shit again. When will I learn from my mistakes or is the syllabus just too much?
13 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 121840

>>121839
Thankyou so much.

Anonymous 121841

>>121839
holy omg this is perfect. Nona you are saving my life. I'm sending so many blessings your way rn.

Anonymous 121842

>>121841
lol seems like finals are not yet over for a few unlucky nonas. Keep your blessings and spend them on your finals.

Idk why but its paywalled now. Maybe just free trial it?. This one is a little differrent, but has more detail

https://bootcamp.com/blog/organic-chemistry-reaction-summary-sheet

Good luck and Godspeed

Anonymous 121843

>>121842
Thankyou so much.
I hope your life is filled with prosperity and happiness.

Anonymous 121844

>>121842
Also its not pay walled for me. Maybe you should try a vpn


GjArWrnWAAAKeV6.jp…

Anonymous 121779[Reply]

i'm just now finishing my 2nd year in university and for the two years that i've been here i genuinely haven't had a conversation with a person besides someone asking me like "is this seat taken" or something in a class. i haven't had any friends for 5+ years since all my friends from middle school just stopped talking to me when high school started. i think i'm so socially retarded and lacking in social skills that at this point i don't even know how to make friends even if i desperately wish to do it. i never learned these skills as a child either because for as long as i can remember i've felt like my presence is a burden to other people and i've thought that i'm doing a service to them by speaking or being seen as little as possible so even as a child i didn't engage or begin conversations with people. there's no point to this i just can't see how a life like this is worth living in the long run and i wish that eventually i'll have the courage and decisiveness to kill myself.

Anonymous 121780

Nona you are not a burden. Try with making online friends.

Anonymous 121801

In the same spot as you, also just finished my second year. Realized I had no real friends and everyone I thought was my friend was only talking to me for assignment answers.

Anonymous 121816

I've felt the same way, I think many people do. The issue, I think, is sifting through to find like-minded people who are also alone, but for me, that's hard.


[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
| Catalog
[ Rules / FAQ ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / x ]