/feels/ - Advice & Venting

I kinda have an issue with that, I fail to 'connect' with someone, but my questions are so good they usually start opening up about very personal stuff with me. I've found stuff about people that they haven't said to their family or long-time friends after just talking to them for a bit.

It's a bit frustrating. At some point I get bored but I just keep asking well-placed questions and they're loving it, completely letting it all out. Like g'damn, shut up lol.

I think its a good strategy but its a lot of work. if you keep asking people about them, eventually someones going to wanna talk to you also.

>>119770
This is so funny, I don't get my moids have such a problem listening without cutting in every second with answers! like dude just shut up and listen.

>>118981
You're supposed to ask questions until you find something you have in common and then talk mutually about that topic.

>>119803
Moids are very problem/solution-oriented. If they see something as a solvable problem they will chime in with "advice" to feel useful and try to fill the void in their heart where an actual personality should be.
>>119770
I get the same thing but I use it as a tactic. If I don't feel like talking about myself I just ask the guy something related to one of his personal interests and he will just keep yapping until I need the conversation to be over.

>>120995
Oh wow…I really like reading comics western or eastern. I'm also a lot into films …horror films to be exact

>>120990
>idk, everything just feels kinda fake. i don't like how fake it is and have honestly just started removing myself from social spaces or groups entirely. my only friends are probably just my mom, sister and boyfriend of 2 years and i'm happy and fine but i still feel as though i need to have some kind of 'girlhood' or 'connection' in my life but i cba and dont know what to do at all because everyone in my area is just so boring and lame it feels like talking to a brick wall at all times.

Most female friendships are competition, drama, talking behind each other's backs.

Try to make friends with women who aren't bitches.

>>120991
>>120990
>cordial relationships with people irl like my peers and have friends online that I discuss my interests with
Real. The only adult women I have ever managed to be good friends with have been sourced from the computer. I've since met all of them IRL and know that women that I vibe with DO exist in the 3d space but I feel like girls like us in particular are cursed to never have local friends.

I also think that having close IRL friends as an adult is oversold to us as common and normal so we start to feel bad when we don't.

>>121003
> I also think that having close IRL friends as an adult is oversold to us as common and normal so we start to feel bad when we don't

This part is so true. I feel like as an adult having friends is too risky. One and two are absolutely needed but more than that is annoying to everyone. I feel like as an adult your family is better and that should be your focus ( obv if your family is good )

>>120990
I feel you on all that. Every time I try to make friends with my roommates or coworkers it seems to fall apart and im back to square one. Ive tried the online friendships too but they dont seem to stick around either. Had a rather traumatizing experience with one of the last girls I tried to befriend with her posting about me for months on end hating me behind my back and pretending to be my friend till I found out and called her out for it. Now im always concerned its gonna happen again so I dont even know if its worth it at this point

I remember when I was a child, and my sisters were in HS. One of them had a bi phase with this dyke girl, and she came over one night while my parents and other sister were gone. They started arguing and her "gf" fucking takes a knife from our kitchen, and she started threatening to stab herself while my sister kept trying to take to take the knife from her…pretty manipulative.

>>120788
This. Definitely can see more fights happening. Imagine both being super emotional and since you’re about the same size you’ll be more inclined to start fighting.

Granted with a moid, a fight is way scarier unless he’s a twink or old

>>119649
Unless anyone can pull up good statistics, I'm honestly not sure I have much real reason to believe there to exist any disparity. >>119778 for example is good support of that.

Like, you'll see stuff like men are more likely to be violent, and thus violent to women than the other way around, test and all that, which is all true. Then you got stories like >>120788. So then you might say, "Oh, men are more violent, women will be more manipulative" - but are stories of men gaslighting women or using them not manipulation? And those things surely aren't uncommon.

Then you also see something like for some reason, when LGBT couples go to therapy, for some reason lesbian couples are way worse than gay or het couples in therapy. But like, they're going to therapy - aren't all couples in therapy gonna obviously have issues?!? And what metric is describing this, that lesbians are worse?

Surely there's more violent men than women, but will sticking to les/bi women gonna keep you safe from violence? Of course not. Whether it be violence, manipulation, empathy, things like estrogen or testosterone aren't the clear determinant of an individual's behavior. Can we really say that women are more empathetic and loving than men? Lots of people may say that (not gonna put my beliefs on this), but will this mean you're sure-fire gonna have an empathetic and loving partner should she be female? Have you never met a shitty woman, cause I have! Or a woman who sorta uses people cause she's pretty and she can and they let her, cause I have (not judging, go get em honestly).

I myself do my best to surround myself with decent people, and that includes both women and men. There are amazing lesbian relationships, and there are amazing het relationships where both individuals are empathetic and loving towards each other. If you notice the people around you which are loving and empathetic tend to be women, then great! Keep to them and treat them as well as they do you. But if they were male, I would've said that same thing. Slightly changing the words from the critic from Rattetouille, not everyone is empathetic and loving, but an empathetic and loving person can come from anywhere.

Not inherently, but the average moid lacks empathy

lol. lmao @ thinking lesbian relationships don't turn even more sour. been there done that don't fall for the meme political dykes try to push.

You don't need to lez out, get a support group for your shitty bfs

I dont know what you’re talking about but good luck with it :D

>>121064
Its not just childish media, I do like acting out for attention sometimes. Sometimes I like to fish for attention by being overly-cutesy with people.
Either way I have no idea how to socialize properly. I relied on my ex and the other failed relationship I had to meet people. Its really awkward and painful having to share a friend group with those idiots, their friends are the only people I have. The only other human interaction I really have with my step-sister but she now works and I barely get to see her and do stuff with her. Before dating my ex I literally had 0 concept of a friend group which is certainly something.
My hobbies are kinda niche currently and dunno, do you just suggest I kind of just look through some pisscord or something?

I don't know how to solve it but I know a girl with similar issues as you. She got married to a nice guy after a lifetime of being with crappy people. I don't know how she did it but I heard it was hard getting adjusted to. But I do think it's about recognizing your own patterns, behaviours, reactions, and making conscious decisions to do differently. Stay strong

>>121056
i mean just think like this: you already broke up with your boyfriend because he'd hurt you. so why get into a relationship with another moid who has similar personality flaws when that was the very reason your last relationship ended? its kind of like just speedrunning a breakup. but im sorry that your first bf changed/showed his true colors after a year of kindness. thats honestly really sickening and disgusting. seek therapy i think

>>120656
marriage is a horrible word, imagine having to see one certain moid every single day until the very end, that’s so depressing

>>120672
>imagine having to see your loved one every single day until the very end
Sounds great

Didn’t do anything weird or nasty?

>>120650
Likely he's a pos but you could just talk to him about it before making the conclusion definite

honestly, confront him. if this isnt larp or a lie or whatever. like meet up with him in person and be aggressive and put your foot down and just ask WHY. then decide what you want to do afterwards, but you first need to find out why and you should also tell him why he shouldnt treat someone that way.

>>121138
Show me a man who is honest about their usage of social media and I will show you a liar.

>>121139
How does having an insta account prevent him from talking to women on tinder?

>>121140
How does saying you don't use social media prevent you from lying about using social media?

>>121141
See, now you get what I mean.

>>121142
We're on the same side so I don't know why you think you were arguing with me

>>120740
>india
>1%
jesus

>>120740
These statistics are fake tho

>>106378
>moids usually end up screwed up because of a lack of sane father figures.
Which is hilarious because that means a moid's humanity banks on the one in a million chance that their dad either is in their life or at the very least isn't a monster himself, which is probably why men in general are completely fucked.

>>106385
I don't know if I buy this, I think it depends on how you teach radfem to your son. Guys literally throw a shitfit if you tell them that rape is bad after all, so ingraining it into them from a young age seems like the only viable solution.

>>120740
Left: countries that make divorce illegal through real or soft laws
Right: countries that acknowledge that women deserve at least one or two rights, maybe more

Anyway you can't honestly be in defense of a slave institution like marriage, what fucks kids up isn't step parents it's bad parents. Always has been.

>exchanging nudes in 10 days

Have you never heard of the rule of 3s?

>>121047
i don't know why i went along with it. every time it was "hm ii went this far it's ok if i do more". i ama such a retard. what do i do.

>>121048
It's a lose-lose situation. Either you have to live with some random moid having pictures of you nude, like becky in picrel, or you have to marry him, which you've said you don't want to.

>>121044
Just stop agreeing to send your nudes. Make it a rule for yourself.
Talked to several moids when they're horny and I always tell them the spiel of "Oh I'm sorry but I don't really feel comfortable with sharing intimate pictures online :( I hope it's ok" and even so they still send me theirs no problem. A few might beg a little but if you remain firm with your decision they'll eventually give up asking. However the only way for this to work is for them to fully believe you're a woman, and if you did a good job at sweetening him up with your previous messages the easier it will be for you.

This has worked especially well so far on 2 moids for me. One of them I kinda miss, he was really cute, had a nice dick and knew how to send spicy messages. But he got a girlfriend so that was the end of that. And if the moid you're messaging says something like "Do you not trust me? I thought we were close" when you tell him you won't share nudes then maybe let him go because that's a manipulator trying to guilt-trip you. Never forget that being wary and exercising privacy measures online is your right so don't feel bad about it.
And no offense but how the fuck do you start having marriage talks with someone at 10 days of knowing them??

>meet boy on reddit
>boy on reddit
>reddit
Well that's your first problem..

Cut your losses. You have put yourself in a monkey trap situation, and the longer you hold on, the harder it will be to get out. You have a lot of losses to cut, so take a breath, have a drink, and start planning.

schizotypal

double diagnosed schizoid at 17 and 22, my life is boundaries of decade old acquaintances and strangers, people who call me their friend feel distant and they all wither away eventually, which I know is my fault but whatever. I have a bf thats helped a lot in being more normal dragging me out into the ''world'' but at 28 I feel im pretty set in my ways.

>>120910
schizoids don't seek validation retard

Im extroverted, hate being alone, love being around nice people, love sex (who doesnt), love having fun and being happy.

>>120910
No it actually sucks, it's a very miserable way to be.

>>120601
thank you nona i hope you had a wonderful day too~!

Thanks nona, you too.

Kill me

>>121068
Bang!

>>121069
Ty