/feels/ - Advice & Venting

it's more fun when it's with someone you enjoy
or is paid to give an actual good experience

>>126509
Nona, don't do it.
Find someone you love and respects you.
Moids on tinder only want to have sex and then ghost you.

Agree with >>126515 over here. Please don't waste your first time on a hookup up. The men on there won't care about pleasing you or meeting your needs. You gotta invest time to finding the right man who knows how to find the clit

>>126509
I'm older than you and also a virgin.
Went to a small orgy, to "try things out", and no, didn't find anyone attractive, didn't want to have sex with anyone. I tried a few things out of curiosity, and like, it was kinda fun to just touch people and see how things work, but that was it, I've seen more interesting things that I think more about at my local aquarium.
You can really just stay a virgin forever, it doesn't matter noona. Are you an aquarium virgin because you never went to an aquarium? Ooh, so weird, it's an essential human experience to look at fish if you live in my city. (It kinda is to some people here, but that doesn't mean you actually need to go).
It's normal to masturbate and have fun with it, you really don't need to do more than that.
If you want an actual relationship or raise a child, that's different ofc, you can try getting into dating. But losing your virginity just for the sake of what, having a dick in your vagina just so you can tick a little box? Like, what's the point? There are other fun sex things you can try out, like buying sex toys or reading up on female masturbation advice. At least that stuff is fun.
>I really want to know how sex feels, people say it's fun
If you're forcing yourself, it definitely won't be though. I know a woman who is married and told me that she only had like one orgasm in her relationship, it's fucking bleak. I orgasm all the time by myself. If you have sex with someone, you also have that deep bonding aspect and communication thing and if you don't do that with someone you love, what are you doing it for, getting off? You probably won't, at least not with a random tinder hook-up.
And if you're really that desperate (why??), at least do this >>126513
If you don't like the title of "virgin" just don't call yourself a virgin. It's mostly weirdos who care about that shit anyway, nobody who matters cares.

>>126535
i don’t get why she doesn’t hate the men instead

>>126535
TBF I don't care. I don't care about your offsite grudges (especially since I think lolcow the website's existance is detestable, admittedly that goes both ways to you and your enemy) and this is literally the femcel messageboard.

>>126548

Lolcow Farm users (and radfems in general) pretty much exclusively target other women for harassment, nitpicking, and abuse.

>>126553
be the change you want to see in the world. destroy men and women who defend rapists if you have to go after a woman.

>>126535
Ah, thanks for the info.
I was wondering who was going around posting this spam in other threads.
>>126486
>>126487
>>126505
>>126503
"BJ-chan" really likes to call women pigs, huh?
Awful.

pretty sure your therapist is not supposed to make you wanna die
that sounds really weird, have you had any other "communication issues" with them like that?

huh??
if your previous friend was fine with talking to you that often, why is ur therapist shaming u for that?
that's weird of them to say

this sounds like a fake therapist. drop and get a new one asap.

>>126493
Happy that you have a bestie like that.
I ended up dating my best friend personally and I visited her every day until nightfall if I couldn't stay the night (we were teenagers at our closest), she just made my life so much better. We tried dating for a bit because we were so close that people mistook us for a couple, but we really saw each other as friends and weren't attracted in a romantic way, so we broke up. We drifted a bit apart after that but our friendship was still on par with the romantic relationships I've had when it comes to closeness and I'm actually really happy we were this way, we enriched each other's lives, idc what anyone says.
I bet if you had said that you talk to your partner 4h a day, your therapist wouldn't have batted an eye.
I once had a friend who was actually demanding of my time and it was tedious, she'd get really upset with me if I didn't feel like chatting with her for a day and make a really big deal about it like "don't you like me anymore" etc. and just guilt-tripping me. I still liked her but I thought she was a bit clingy. (I was actually kinda crushing on her despite this tbh, she was just super cute even if we sometimes clashed, but that's beside the point.) Maybe your therapist mistakenly thinks it's a situation like that?
Either way, it sounds like your therapist is really missing out when it comes to close friendships. Maybe she doesn't have close bonds or maybe she's the type who thinks that only romantic relationships can be that close and anything else is weird.
>they have their own partners
Yeah, there it is.
There are some people who genuinely can't imagine being as close with a friend as they are with their spouse or whoever. It's tragic, really.

>>126240
Read the rules https://crystal.cafe/rules.html
What you're describing goes against rule 9.
>"discuss" race
Even on 4chan, racism outside of /b/ is against the rules (Global rule 3b), but both the moderation and more obviously the userbase in that shithole are just garbage.
>so there's no racism here, the site follows its own set rules and the moderation is great?
Nothing is perfect. Still not as abyssal as 4chan.

>>126240
no, us women can't have an opinion on these matters.

>>126240
No because we aren't retarded like 4chan moids

>do EEG in 2023
>got half conscious and nauseous like my brain got turned off after a drinking binge

>EEG now
>just really intense burning at the back of my head but I'm completely conscious

this illness took away all of my youth and I'm about to beat its ass
I just hate how I got gaslit that it was all psychosomatic for most of my life

I'm at my favorite Cafe before I head into work. And I get to come in an hour late so I have extra time to bs and stuff.

Life is good to me (◕ᴗ◕✿)

Also! Happy Halloween nonas!

>>116556
i keep ending up running into random restocks of niche perfume collabs i thought were gone and being able to score them. can’t wait for one of them to arrive today.

I got approved for a credit card and a loan. Not in that order i might add.

Hooray for capitalism!

I'm exactly the same nona. Besides the dysphoric part. It just feels like people trying to pigeonhole you somewhere before you even tell them if you are interested or not.

you’re not dysphoric you are having a normal reaction to being under the constant threat of sexual assault and being expected to allow this to happen to you and smile sweetly. you need to start harming men.

>>126470
i am.

yeah. there's not a lot you can do about it other than being celibate which is what i do. you can't really change overarching social dynamics but at least you can control not engaging with them in private.

>>125902
>he doesn't want me to get an education or work, and I haven't had the chance to go outside or see doctors because he doesn't like it
Kill him.
>my boyfriend is a drug addict
If he blames his bad behaviour on any drugs he takes, he's still responsible for his bad behaviour, don't forget.
>he doesn't want me to get an education or work
Why? There could not be a flag redder than this. This is third world woman slavery level of controlling abuse.
>I can't see the doctor
You know, if you kill him, it's basically self-defence. Not just because of this particular red flag, but it's quite a glaring one, innit?
>he doesn't like it
Why? Because he doesn't like you seeing other people who could remind you that there's a whole world out there where you could be free and away from him? Are you literally his prisoner?
>I think I've only left the house about 7 times during the pregnancy. If I threaten to leave, he threatens
Yeah, he's definitely keeping you prisoner. Trying to brainwash you that this is normal and that if he can't keep you confined and submissive, he'll literally die, that's normal for a certain type of abuser. He's full of shit, he won't kill himself and if he does, is that so bad…?
>he threatens suicide
Unfortunately, he likely won't do it himself. My dad was like this too, always threatening to kill himself and that fucker never did, despite all the times he cut himself (shallow cuts) and took various drugs (also vodka, but also more illegal drugs and weed). When I was living with him and brainwashed by living with him for more than 15 years (you can't help having empathy for someone you live with for this long, especially if your safety depends on their mood, it's instinctual to feel like you need to care for them like a servant) I was so worried about him, like the so goodhearted teenager I was. But no, he did not kill himself, even decades later. If he had, I'd have gotten through that though. You and your babys safety are 1000x more important than your abusers fragile psyche and also his psyche is neither your fault nor even your responsibility! You are NOT responsible for this grown aPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>125902
>>125908
Sorry, that post was way too long…
Please work on getting away, it's not safe to stay with someone like that… What country are you from? Is there anyone you can reach out to? Anyone trustworthy? Anyone at all?

>>125902
If you live in the US then call nearby women’s shelters, community resources, planned parenthood, anything. You’re being abused and falsely imprisoned and they can give you resources and guidance to get out.

>>125902
was this baby planned/wanted? are you in your country legally/have citizenship?
Either way-your boyfriend is setting you up for abuse via babytrapping. you need to leave. it does not matter if he offs himself and it is not your fault because it’s his planned choice. threatening suicide is literally an abuse tactic. not letting you see a doctor is abusive because that’s extremely dangerous to your health. Take the cat outside, cats have survival instincts and can fend for themselves. You and your baby are more important.
Collect all of your evidence to be used in court against him potentially make sure you have things to identify yourself.
Does your family or friends know about this? Try and see if you can stay with them.
Block him everywhere and if he comes back with his bullshit you have to take him to court.
It’s not love to block your wife and future child from medical care. He cannot support you and values drugs more than you. This man is garbage

you need to get that thing sucked out of you

>>126443
I don't think a person that can't woman up and communicate with you directly and maturely is good for you. It's not a situation where you're getting treated with respect you deserve. I bet your relationship had been developing very rapidly and intensely, hadn't it?

>>126446
it happened like slowly naturally over time we connected, she would always respond to me in the groupchats and validate me and was genuinely interested in me so we spoke and spoke and spoke and i got attached to her and she told be she was invested in the friendship for ten months. idk why later on she stopped, she didnt tell me why.

>>126447
and nothing bad happened between us. i was so devastated when she ghosted, i was vulnerable and spoke with psychics out of desperation. im autistic and highly sensitive so it was all hard for me to take

i feel like shes my only true soulmate

>>126434
>>126437
>>126443
Regardless of the post being her or not, the type still seems obvious. She's a blackpill doomer who doesn’t feel worthy of your time or attention. Internalized shame, self-reproach, and a sense of being underhanded or unworthy mean she’ll inevitably ghost. It's a tactical retreat to avoid being perceived. A face-saving measure, by preempting rejection and sparing both of you the painful memory of having to play it out.
Be assured, she values you enough to care that much.

I can relate, but I never let things reach the Discord-buddy or 1-on-1 stage, just to avoid disappointing people. Maybe you two could stay at a comfortable distance as anonymous imageboard friends? The Altchan userbase is small enough that "relationships" like that can linger

>>126026
Wait, just to get it right:
Suit guy 1: cool
Suit guy 2: fetish

Because of suit guy 2 you decided that suit guy 1 is also a pervert and dropped him for a toothless bum?

Toplel

>>126389
reading comprehension deity… I kneel

>>126390
Even if it's about the same guy - kinkshaming is out, fetishes are weird. Droping somebody bc of that (and then proceed to fall into depression) is asinine.

Cutting him out and be cool about it is one thing, cutting him out and fall into depression another.

The tactical question arises: what was the point of this whole exercise? Apparently to make you miserable and show him that his likings are not okay. Both people sad, nobody won.

>>126405
you sound like you're really into suits

>>126408
Archons pushing new, meaningless words for goyim to use as weapons in culture war against each other.

>>126195
It's possible to be in love with one person and also have some sexual attraction to someone else, especially in the early stages of a relationship when you're just starting out. One of my friends felt this way about a guy she met even though she was already dating someone else, but she decided to let go of those feelings because she loves her boyfriend and wouldn't want to hurt him like that. It was a fleeting sort of attraction and she never intended to do anything with it. Some people never feel this way about others while in a relationship, but if someone does, it doesn't mean they'll just cheat on their partner. It'd be a cruel and frankly stupid thing to do. Even if things are not going well in a relationship, normal people will break up (if they can/aren't in an abusive relationship) instead of cheating. For one, because most people wouldn't want to hurt their partner and also because being a known cheater has the potential to endanger future relationships.
>screwed with one of his closest friends
Sounds like he'd wanted to have sex with her for a while and wanted to do it before he couldn't anymore, presumably because he doesn't want to cheat. You can have sex with someone without it being that romantic, although a friendship can feel similar I suppose. I'd imagine that this step messed with their friendship anyway though. Probably also made it easy to cut ties with her.
>I resent him SO much for it
>I haven't told him anything
He did apologise and cut ties with that girl, but imagine if you confronted him now. Is there anything he could say to ease your worries? Anything he could do? Or just listen and be empathetic?
>I've become the most insecure
Can that one instance really do that? Did he ever flirt with anyone else in front of you or said things about being able to get with other women easily? Bragging about anything even close to that he could be a player if he wanted to? If yes, that's a definite red flag, but if not, he's probably fine, right? Maybe you should tell him about your insecurities regardless. In fact, why haven't you talked to him about it? Do you think he'll blame you for feeling that way, for not being able to let go, are you worried about him being angry about it? If you convey that Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Both men and women will get in entire separate relationships and carry out a weird not even necessarily platonic friendship relationship at the same time. Some even a third work husband/wife. Most people now are so hyper focused on themselves that they don’t even see this as cheating. They don’t think about anyone else who isn’t in the room ever. They can be seated next to their gf ignoring them for the female friend they really want. They can be innocent and have the male or female friend desperate for them. These things can stop and start again with no conversation. People and relationships are complicated.

>>126382
My best friends current situation has no idea about me and neither does my own partner. The relationship he and I have is actually the most important to him. I even saved his sisters wedding. No one besides his family my second family really has any idea. We will be together when the coast is clear but right now he and I both agree it’s best these last few years to keep it private between us. His gf has no idea they aren’t getting married and I’m going to go from his best friend to his partner. I pretend we are friends.