/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>49129
>normal people
Cool story, what do you mean by normal though?

>>49203
Yes, because it's actually known as the Lizardman's Constant, not sure where she took that from. It's sort of fascinating but not really studied. Polls tend to have all sorts of artifacts anyways.
>>49230
You are exactly right. You have to look at how these polls are done, the people who reported the 4% were as far as I remember conducting a poll where they asked people several questions, one of which was "Is Obama a lizardman". Apparently it was conducted via phone calls, so you inherently get some people who didn't pay attention just take the first option and such.

>>38304
She's being bullied by tall.

>>38772
You're in the 1% of women that men would think twice about assaulting. Be grateful for that, anon. Also you have a very skewed perspective about how attraction works. If you were a blonde 5'6 bimbo the guys that find you attractive wouldn't have any less freaks or deviants. You would only have a bigger sample size. You can find someone that will think you're cute and not just fetishize you. You just have to go trough all the crap like the rest of us.

>>38772
Men love tall women, especially nowadays. Keep trying and you’ll be able to find the perfect guy who will accept you for who you are.

I have been underweight, overweight, and everything in between because I went through phases of needing to radically change my appearance. I find losing weight incredibly easy and am puzzled when people say they struggle with it. What exactly is the problem? Are you a binge eater? Back when I needed to lose weight I would spend a few hours exercising every day and log the calories of everything I ate. As long as you put in effort, it’s impossible to fail.

>>54080
Food addiction.

>>54080
Part of it is probably ADHD, I'm big on short-term dopamine rushes and I am terrible at thinking ahead. I also compulsively pick at my skin, which I think I do for similar reasons despite wanting to stop.

Protipp:
Being less fat won't end the pain of self hate. Its just a projection on things that seem visibly changeable and objectively improving your worth.
Stuff like:
>I dont feel thats my body.
>I dont think I can be loved.
Will possibly continue. Also think about someone who loves you for being not overweight. Thats the same thing. The fetish is just accepted in a broader range. Try to get your head and self perception straight before you start with changing your weight to a healthy amount. Otherwise improvements on your body (and health) will always just be superficial substitutes for your mental health that continues to degrade.

>>54082
kin

>>53040
I have two internet friends who get anxiety attacks often. They’re used to it and it won’t kill them. Just tell them to breathe and let them know you’re there. Not much else you can do.

>>53041
So I should just let him ride it out, and let him know i'll be there if he wants to talk?
That's what I usually do, but it feels like that's kinda leaving him to the wolves..
Not that I want to push the envelope and make him uncomfortable or anything, but is there anything more than I can do than offer my time in the future?

>>53044
you’re not his therapist. all you can do is be there for him. anything more and the relationship is unbalanced. i’ve had panic attacks, i don’t want to be bothered during them. i ride it out, and i’m fine later. if later he wants to talk about what was upsetting him, i’d hear him out, but otherwise? just leave him be

>>53050
Thank you for your advice, it means a lot.
Knowing that i'm not just neglecting a friend when theyre suffering lifts a weight off my shoulders.
I'll keep doing what i've been doing. Thanks again

>>52959
It's definitely a porn/internet phenomenon. Like anon references old couples in decades of marriage who "spice it up in the bedroom" (which usually involves some pretty tame shit), and then she's bored of sex where she's not getting "kneed in the stomach" 1-2 year relationships? Girls' gonna need to get fucking murdered to get off by the end of this year at the rate she's going. I'm not against couples exploring things if it's respectful and there is mutual enjoyment, but rapidly escalating physical extremes seems like a bad very idea if you don't want to fuck up your ability to enjoy sex at all. There's a lot of variety that can be had within "normal" sex, but that's too vanilla and boring to explore for them so they go straight to hardcore physical abuse for some reason.

>>53027
kek.
This vocaroo might just be the only good thing that came out of /lgbt/.
https://vocaroo.com/18DyqC0yzB1i

>>52949
unironically yes, who the fuck are you to tell them they cant do as they please with THEIR own bodies?
>>52952
as stated before there is literally nothing wrong with getting your rocks or clam off regardless how its done in a consenting environment. but please be like the other retard and try to take that to extremes, feign ignorance as to what youre deliberately doing in a vain attempt to show the faults of someone elses preferences like it actually fucking matters, and further play dumb when called out on doing exactly that
kys, both of you

>ur bad and should dump ur bf
>no ur bad and should dump UR bf
glad we had a good discussion today, I'm sure everyones worldview has changed

I only have one friend and she’s my 82 year old next door neighbor.

>>52931
kind of based
old women are really cool

>>52933
My job is 80% talking to old people and they're much more pleasant and jovial than the younger ones

>>52934
Well. I'd also be happy if I was retired.

>>52933
>>52934
Yeah, she’s awesome. But kinda exhausting at times. But that’s just cause of age difference, language barriers (English isn’t her first language) and she’s an extrovert while I’m an introvert lol it works out though. She’s so cute

>>52875
in south asian cultures, mothers dote on their sons unconditionally, and prefer them over their daughters. thus, the sons grow up to be stunted manchildren that simply want another mother to baby them for the rest of their lives.

>>52852
i don't believe pakistani's have 'castes' unless you're talking about people who are from the poorer parts of the country. that's mostly a thing associated with hinduism.

>>52885
They are less likely to hate you but if they do it'd be the same. There are a lot of western families that are like that too, with monster matriarchs and patriarchs that try to rule everyone else in the family with an iron grip, and they all go along with it because that's how they were indoctrinated. There's way too many stories of women being mistreated by their in-laws and the husband not sticking up for her and telling her to shut up because "they're family"

>>52898
>pakistani's have 'castes' unless you're talking about people who are from the poorer parts of the country. that's mostly a thing associated with hinduism.
You know nothing.

>>52929
i am pakistani. ive never heard of such a thing.

he prob just got embarrassed that you rejected him and tried to spin it to make you look bad lol

>>52543
Some people just wanna make friends with co-workers. If he said he didn’t mean it that way he probably didn’t. Cause she gave an open ended response of “maybe in the future.” I think if he actually was asking for a date he would take this as a positive sign rather than backtracking.

>>52542
>get showered with attention by a guy irl and on social media
>OUT OF THE BLUE he asks to spend time with you outside the work place
somewhat funny but it gets better.

>I felt like he was being flirtaous and I thought he was asking me out for a date or something earlier and I said "I barely know you. It's too fast. Maybe somewhen in the future?"
you…
wanted to get to know him better before you agree to get to know him better? just say no.

>>52545
>I think if he actually was asking for a date he would take this as a positive sign rather than backtracking.
no guarantees but yeah, if you tell him "maybe later" that means "try again". you don't get rid of guys by telling them to keep trying.

>>52602
Everyone else has already said it but this is incredibly autistic advice. If you're always the one reaching out then yeah try stopping to see if they reach out on their own, but if you're just insecure about your friendships and trying to get validation, then don't do this as it will cause the contact to dwindle down naturally since both of you will think the other isn't interested. Basically don't sabotage yourself by doing this, it sends a misleading signal that acts as a self fulfilling prophecy.

>>52600
OP I used to be like you and to a degree I still am and all I can say is that getting older helped me deal with it better. Insecurity really wrecks all kinds of relationships and it's better to face it than to expect your partner to keep repeating the same phrases back at you so you can tune out the anxiety for a bit.

>>52608
>As a general tip, I try be nice to everyone, regardless of how they feel towards me. When I reflect on daily interactions and think I've been unjustly unkind, I make an effort to be nice to that person the next time I see them.

Anon I wish I had more chill like you a few years ago, I burned a few bridges that didn't require a clean break but I was too proud and too guarded. Now I think it would be nice to not have parted ways on such a clean break because it's always good to know people, both for companionship and for practical purposes, it's hard to walk back from cutting ties while "being busy"/"dealing with stuff" cools things down and leaves room for plausible deniability. You can even get away with ghosting (although you shouldn't).

Another reason not to burn bridges is that you don't want to end up feeling too awkward in spaces you might share with that person. You might end up sharing a friend of a friend or something and feel awkward going to their birthday party. You end up feeling like the place you associate with that person, like their town or their neighborhood depending on how close they are, is haunted and you feel like you're on enemy territory.

>>52602
>tfw still convinced friend hates me even if he has been the one to initiate contact for the past ~4 months
Doesn't work, you'll never be satisfied. My brain just moved the goalposts to "he only contacts me out of pity, but dislikes me in secret"

>>52632
This. "They're only messaging because they're bored"

>>52600
There is no reason to be subtle about it. There is no "trick" to figuring this out like people in this thread are trying to make it out. Just fucking ask them. If they truly like you, it won't bother them that you have to ask. In my opinion, a good relationship is one where you can be open and honest about your thoughts and feelings at pretty much any time and not have to worry that your partner will hate you for it.

Just ask them. I used to have anxiety and paranoia like this too, even though I consciously knew it was stupid to think like that, but I would ask my bf about it and he would re-assure me every single time. Some people might not be as lucky but I really believe if they aren't ok with it then maybe they don't like you as much as you want.

>>52770
>There is no "trick" to figuring this out like people in this thread are trying to make it out. Just fucking ask them. If they truly like you, it won't bother them that you have to ask.

This. As >>52601 said, "Hey, I just need some reassurance that you still like me.” is enough, succinct and honest. Someone that gives a shit about you won't be bothered, and if they already know that you're the anxious or fearful type then they'll be happier that you spoke up so they could reassure you instead of avoiding them or acting funny.

>>48279
i think itd be nice, my academic life has been really affected by this

Does a tiger in a cage have a pacing addiction? Or do we all compulsively use the internet because we cannot afford to do anything else? I would love to travel or go museums or keep a saltwater aquarium. But those all cost money and I have none.

>>52776
I think the term is used more for people who have other things to do, like academics or career goals to work towards, but who procrastinate by using the imageboards or social media sites. Not so much people who just use it to pass time when bored.

>>52781
This same logic could be applied to people that just live in their house and do meth all day.
>well they have nothing better to do except be bored so it's not really an addiction

It's an addiction if you don't like how it's effecting your life and how it's effecting your time.

>>52804
I don't think that's really the same thing.
Internet isn't physically addictive, you brain won't literally stop working if you miss a dose like you do with hard drugs. And it's entirely possible to function fine during the workday and then come home and just spend your free time online.
You can't just do meth all day and still function fine in society. Which is why drug addicts tend to be homeless, not just living in their house as you claimed.
But I do see your point that internet can be considered an addiction any time it's effecting you negatively, even if you do only use it in your free time.

You don’t have any long term desires or anything?

>>52728
Not really. If something, I have only "negative" desires: I want certain situations to never happen to me, but that's it. I don't think I have anything specific to look for.

I want to finish the stories I'm working on. That is pretty much what's keeping me here.