[ Rules / FAQ ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / x ]

/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
Name
Email
Email will be public
Subject
Message

*Text* => Text

**Text** => Text

***Text*** => Text

[spoiler]Text[/spoiler] => Text

Image
Direct Link
Options NSFW image
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
| Catalog

Janitor applications are open


Check the Catalog before making a new thread.
Do not respond to maleposters. See Rule 7.
Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

tumblr_inline_ox5r…

why was genetics so mean to me?? Anonymous 78440[Reply]

Ever since I remember i have been dieting, my pediatrician was obsessed with my weight and would put me on diets constantly, and this obsessing also transferred to my mother and uncles (because of course shes my medic, so she is the one who knows the best). And ever since that has been my life, i dont know other thing that excising and cheeking how many calories everything i eat has, and most convos with my family members end up about my weight (it has lessened lots with time, but it was terrible when i was a teen).
I have always been on the chubby side, but lucky never obese or harmful for my health (according to the medical papers at least) and i know i need to stay healthy, but i still think the way my pediatrician treated me was excessive, who makes a 4yo fast??? and even after all the different diets she gave me i never managed to be truly thin anyways, they help to lose weight, but i dont think i will be able to weight less than i do now even if i keep all the effort

And my sister? the only times she has ever moved was on the obligatory PE class when she was little, she eats sweets DAILY and never gains a ounce of weight!! She was and is all thin, she doesnt care about anything, makes no effort and always has a perfect body…..

This is not a hate post directed at her or anything, i'm just jealous. I wish i too could live without caring how fat everything will make me and spending my time on hobbies instead of running; I dont remember the last time i ate without guilt (and i 100% eat just because i still live with my parents, the second i start living alone i know i will stop eating or just eat the bare minimum to stay awake), it must be nice to live without caring about all that…
Even now that I'm at a normal weight I'm still like this because the second i stop measuring everything I eat or stop exercising im sure i will get overweight again, why is my body like this…
I know i need to stay healthy, but i wish i could be free of all that for at least a week and turn all that effort on something that makes me happy (and honestly, i dont even think im healthy now, crying almost every time you have lunch or dinner doesn't seem ideal…)
6 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 78478

counting calories is overrated. just eat foods that are naturally low-calorie and filling, like anything with lots of fiber, and avoid foods that are high-calorie and non-filling, like sugar and seed oils (i.e. processed junk food).

if you can, another healthy thing is limiting food intake to 8 hours a day so you’re basically fasting 16 hours a day (including sleep). I find these habits are easier to maintain than counting calories, and I still eat what I want in moderation.

Anonymous 78506

>>78440
>"I hate my genes"
>"my sister eats sweets every day and stays skinny"

do you know what genes are nona

Anonymous 78511

metabolism is genetic, and traits can differ between siblings.

that being said, metabolism only deals with how easy it is for you to put on weight, or lose it. it doesn't make it impossible, it just requires more effort for some people than others.

at the end of the day, diet is king. the average person cannot out exercise a bad diet.

chances are your calorie requirements are lower than your sister's due to genetics. how many do you give yourself a day? staying around 1,000-1,2000 per day for a few weeks should get the ball rolling on even the slowest metabolism, just don't go lower than that.

Anonymous 78518

>>78440
Genetics were also cruel to me, not because of weight but because of a number of chronic health issues that I'll have to live with forever.

Anonymous 78519

>>78518
Oh and I'm also completely subhuman looking and ugly too so there's that.



680D9AF8-C6FD-407D…

Anonymous 78375[Reply]

YWN have two cute boys fight over you so what’s the point
7 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 78428

im usually not even into tall guys the one on the right looming over left is arousing and i would pick him.

Anonymous 78429

__red_blue_oak_and…

tfw you get two cute boys to fight over you but they start making out

Anonymous 78433

>>78414
>>78429
Now this thread's going places.

Anonymous 78472

>>78379
The guy on the right is Masashi Toogaito.

Anonymous 79667

Trash thread



a56.jpeg

Anonymous 46683[Reply]

Tfw i have stopped wearing a pad everyday in case my periods come back cause they have been gone for so long. but them being gone for long doesnt actually decrease the probability. its just an illusion. why do humans like to pretend theyre in control like this?

Anonymous 46685

Why did your period stop?

Anonymous 46700

>>46685
Probably overexercising and not eating enough? Idk its really difficult for me to get them to last very long. Im a virgin.

Anonymous 46713

>>46700
>why do humans like to pretend theyre in control like this?
>probable cause of the problem is, in fact, something she can control

Eat a sandwich.

Anonymous 78413

>>46685
It has to do with how much body fat you have, women with too low body fat don't get periods, and have trouble getting pregnant, also being overweight can make it hard to get pregnant too.
Life sucks sometimes.

Anonymous 79668

Trash thread



D3C1A3C9-AEAE-441D…

narcissists Anonymous 77674[Reply]

i’ve been in back to back relationships with narcissists (though it was easier for me to subconsciously seek the 2nd one out because i was craving the push/pull already). i left the first one feeling worthless and discarded and craving love. 2 months later i met the second one who i proceeded to fall in love with way too fast, he started talking long term so i felt safe. only for him to wake up one day 3 months later and tell me he feels nothing for me. none of my past relationships were this shit till the first one. now i fear i’m stuck in a loop of seeming desperate for love; attracting people who only wish to take advantage of that

Anonymous 77681

Take several months out from dating and become a whole person by yourself so that you will be happy to leave if you are not happy. Read forums for other people's accounts of narcs so you know what to look for. Make a list of what you want in a partner and be specific. When you do date someone, check in with yourself once a week to make sure your needs from the list are all being met.

Anonymous 77736

>>77681
i did really need to hear that thanks. haven’t heard the list suggestion before tbh so i’m gonna start on that now. already taking a break from dating/social media. we gonna make it

Anonymous 78397

I think my mom is one or is very near to being one.

Anonymous 78398

rip.jpg




DJurH1u.png

Anonymous 78323[Reply]

How do I take what people (especially men) say less seriously?

It always feels like when I'm having an argument with someone it wasn't actually an argument, I just get worked up over words easily and i don't know what to say to the person so they'll shut up, when they think I'm being playful

Anonymous 78336

Are you asking how to initiate arguments less often or how to make the arguments you do get into more calm/rational

Anonymous 78337

Just act like they didn't say anything and continue talking about whatever you wanted to hear. Men always want their words to be heard and taken seriously so when you act like you didn't even register it, it really pisses them off. Also forget their names and call them the wrong name on purpose.

Anonymous 78352

>>78323
try reminding yourself before you get into an argument that the other person probably doesn't actually care about what's true and what isn't, but rather whether or not they can "win" the argument (this applies doubly so with males due to their inherent desire to compete with everyone and everything). as such, anything you say to try to convince them will ultimately fall on deaf ears, meaning any arguments you may have will ultimately be pointless. if you decide to argue with someone regardless of this fact, however, then you should probably find books or something like that on rhetoric and logic to make your arguments more convincing.



1652192675292.jpg

Anonymous 77552[Reply]

How am I supposed to find a guy who would like staying inside all day and every weekend playing games and watching youtube?
I dont want to have to say "i love you" or go out on dates, ever.

Dont say discord, they either wont believe you are biologically female or they'll all change their personalities to try to get nudes+attention.
63 posts and 9 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 78184

>>77963
Seconding

Anonymous 78287

>>77552
Maybe try posting point of contact + interests here on CC? Not sure if that hits rule 7 or not, but from the maleposting I see getting removed from this site a lot of the lurkers want an autistic nofriends girlfriend so maybe that'd work? Also if you're expecting moids not to change their personalities to get nudes you're not being realistic about your dating prospects. Generally good people are very rare.
>>78159
Losers for losers, seems like a fit.

Anonymous 78299

>>77552
>I dont want to have to say "i love you"
then whats the point of a relationship?

Anonymous 78304

>>77552
i know a friend who is exactly like u described. if u want i can give u his contacts.

Anonymous 78321

>>78304
Who doesn't? No really, how socially isolated must one be to not know ten of this exact guy?



__madotsuki_yume_n…

Anonymous 77380[Reply]

How do I cope with disliking most people?
17 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 77779

>>77634
Then you have to fight to the death.

Anonymous 77785

but why do you dislike most people?

Anonymous 78278

>>77380
Don't keep them around. You can walk on gravel, but you don't keep a driveway in your pocket. Only keep the good ones. Decide what qualities you admire in people and look for them in your interactions with others. And, also, maybe don't take the walking on metaphor too seriously. They're just people, and you're just a person too.

Anonymous 78284

>>78278
>They're just people, and you're just a person too.
What an oddly calming thing to say. I think reminding myself of mine and other's simplicity of what we are like that helps me.

Anonymous 78289

>>77380
Video games and an endless stream of watching garbage on YT.



360_F_254424115_dx…

Depressed about being in university too long Anonymous 65894[Reply]

I started uni 4 years ago for a bachelors, but because I changed my minor and general laziness I'll need 2 more years to actually graduate.
I feel so depressed and anxious about my future, I was supposed to be done after 3 years, but while everyone I know is out looking for their first real job or going on vacation before their masters I'm still stuck here.
I feel like a failure and despite them saying otherwise I feel like I'm disappointing my family.
By the time I graduate I'll be years behind my peers and I don't know how to deal with that.
88 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 69501

Fore some weird reason I'm really anxious about fucking up the paperwork to graduate or that I misunderstood something.
I'm having actual nightmares of turning all my stuff in and being happy to finally be done only for staff responsible to tell me I fufked something up and can't graduate.
I read the information about what courses I need and what exams dozens of times but I can't sake this fear.

Anonymous 72294

I can't stop thinking about just dropping out, I have zero idea what i'd actually do afterwards but I'm so sick of university.
There's clearly something wrong with my head, I spend all day coming up with bizarre delusions of how I'm gonna fuck up my life instead of actually studying or even trying to have fun.

Anonymous 78266

So this was supposed to be my last year after 6 years of school. I stupidly chose the hardest fucking program at the university (keep in mind i was 17 when i made that decision). I have failed probably 80% of my classes and I am at the point were I can no longer retake classes. Somehow I managed to get this far by retaking courses, barely scraping, and just sheer luck. But I didn't pass one class this semester so I will probably have to go back next fall and try again. It has been so excruciating. It's not like I don't even try, its just that my program is so brutal and I'm just not good at studying or retaining information. I have never been the best student and school never came naturally, but I work hard and to the best of my ablility. I will be 24 when I get my degree and it hurts so badly. I should have been out of school by now an working and saving money. I hate school so much. If I go back next semester and I don't pass (which is pretty likely) I will probably just commit sudoku once and for all. If I live to see the day when I have children, I will tell them to think twice about going to college. The pain and suffering isn't fucking worth it.

Anonymous 78274

>>78266
Wtf did you study anyway that has you ass deep in painful drudgery?
Something STEM related?

Anonymous 78275

>>78274
Math. I used to really enjoy it, and sometimes I still do. It's the insane exams and hw that have ruined it for me.



84C6D57A-A123-4D3C…

bf withholds money Fiona 77801[Reply]

i’ve given my bf large amounts of money in the past and the one time i ask for some money he flips out on me. he says i need to pay him back and snapped at me when i brought it up. i’m never demanding and i never make him pay for anything unless he offers. is he just a broke loser?? or should i just not ask for money.
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 77809

I think you should dump him and stop giving men money

Anonymous 77811

>>77801
>i’ve given my bf large amounts of money in the past
given as in gifted, as in he will never pay it back?

>the one time i ask for some money he flips out

how much money?

the most obvious question here is the total balance of money that has gone back and forth. who has invested more? you make it sound like you've spent a lot of money on him and he none on you, but you don't directly say anything on the matter and that's concerning. are you fooling yourself and pretending like you're being fair when you're not? inb4 it turns out he paid those "large amounts" back each time so they mean nothing.

Anonymous 77819

1643625406305.jpg

>>77801
where did you find this god awful moid? why are you dating him?

Anonymous 77930

leave him lol literally he's stealing from you if you do the math

Anonymous 78258

>i’ve given my bf large amounts of money in the past
>i’m never demanding and i never make him pay for anything
>he flips out on me
>snapped at me
Why is there so many pickmes on this board?
He doesn't owe you anything, leave him and step your game up.



jdr9a5a3ugl81.png

Anonymous 78195[Reply]

I feel like my ability to befriend women is damaged because of my experiences being picked on by girls. I had an abusive mother, and was also recognizably autistic at school which as you can imagine made me very popular. I pretty much made my first ever female friend a few months ago, and even this, I'm worried she doesn't like me that much. (I definitely like her a lot so I hope it's mutual but I don't think I could realistically say to her, "Hey, I really like you so much. How much do you enjoy my company? What can I do so you enjoy my company more? Be honest." If I could say that I would and it would be so much more simple.)

Besides her, I've only ever had male friends, and none of those are possible anymore because we're adults now and they just want to date me.

I don't know why I'm always rejected, besides that I still have few social skills and don't really engage well. Men at least have a veneer of treating me nicely, because men will be attracted to anything with tits. Women just seem to dislike me. There was actually recently a problem at my workplace because my female boss (we're the only two women working there right now) singled me out so frequently and viciously that my male coworkers got together to report her to the higher ups. I can obviously tell I'm not likeable but I don't know why. The feeling of dislike is not mutual, I like everybody. I even liked her, tried to please her and figured I was just simply an awful employee and deserved what I got.

When I've talked about this before, people seem to assume that I must be an awful person to be in this position. I promise I'm not a bad person, and if I am, I don't know what I'm doing. I just want to make friends.
7 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 78216

>>78215
I wouldn't mind if you mostly just talked about your special interests, I hope it would be fine for me to sperg about mine too.
My email is [email protected], we could move to discord or something if you'd like but I'm fine just emailing too. Whatever you prefer. Thank you anon!

Anonymous 78220

>>78195
I feel you OP, I wasn't abused or bullied (that much), and I'm not actually autistic, but when you try to talk about this with "some people" like so many posters on lc they assume you're saying that women are shallow and will call you a pickme. Or they'll call you a pickme just because it's harder for you to befriend women than men since women aren't trying to fuck you so you have to put in some actual effort.
Feeling like you're a failed woman for not fitting in, not being clean and pretty and performing femininity, or not being able to connect with other women due to your own inherent weirdness or stunted social skills, it fucking sucks. And it sucks even more when other, "normal" women make you feel bad for it, even though you're not attacking them. I don't understand.

Anyway, it wasn't your fault, obviously. Maybe she was a shitty person and hated you for some dumb reason. Maybe she was kind of a pickme and was mad that your male coworkers liked you more, like >>78212 suggested. Who knows, don't worry too much about it.

Anonymous 78221

I’m the same OP. Clingy too. Sadly I think this is a common experience among autistic girls and women. We’re hated everywhere we go and never understand why.

The only advice I can give is to learn to be happy alone and stop trying. At least you will no longer get rejected or bullied that way.

Anonymous 78223

I don't necessarily make friends with men now but I tend to have a lot more "casual" friendships with men than I do with other women. Both my mom and sister suffer this problem, we tend to get along better with men vs. women. I'm much older than my sister so we never had a close bond as sisters and my mother was out of the picture for awhile due to addiction problems. All three of us struggle with finding solid relationships with other women but I don't believe it's really a problem of disliking other women, just not understanding female social cues / suffering trauma via close female relationships. Also because trauma within our personal lives separated us for a long time. My mom is the second oldest and her elder sister was abusive towards her. My sister says it's the "drama" that other women bring about that she dislikes. I think a lot of her trauma about it came from befriending a girl who betrayed her for a boy and got her jumped/abandoned her when she tried to defend her. Since then, she doesn't really trust anyone. For me, it's being groomed into sexual prostitution by an older woman and subsequently mistrusting the condescending nature of many women I come across. They pretend to be your friend just to use you. Men are this way too and can be manipulative of course but I find their actions to be too obvious to be deceived by. I expect this from men and the betrayal doesn't hurt as bad but when it comes from other women, it feels like a much sharper cut.


So I feel you OP, I wish more people could understand that abuse suffered from other women screws with your view of female relationships, as much as you would like it not too.

Anonymous 78257

>>78220
>spoiler
Absolutely true. Crystal Cafe is the only place I don't feel alien for this.



[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
| Catalog
[ Rules / FAQ ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / x ]