/feels/ - Advice & Venting

So I've grown up a bit of my anti-social phase. I still love books and solitude and hate maintaining relationships but I want to go to parties/club and dance and feel alive every now and then. Not really for the casual sex part, just remembering I'm young.
I'm 22, not terrible ugly, and live near a big city. How do I start? I don't have any friends to go out with, don't know any clubs/parties and quite afraid of meeting people who know me there.

Throughout Jan, I had a friend group of women who were around my age who sorta shared the same views as me. (not really the more i realize)

Everything was going so great and I enjoyed everyone's presence. However after a while, they came to terms about my mental issues after I opened up about them, hoping for some sort of support. They immediately began to mock me, making fun of my entire situation and began perceiving me being mentally ill as something obscene and grotesque.

I ended up cutting them off completely as they were prone to making fun of the women they'd cut off and I didn't want to be humiliated for a place i felt safe in.

I am glad that I left because I realized everyone there was racist or literal comgirls looking off of male validation.

But they gaslight me constantly, as if I was in the wrong, not taking accountability. Had a few people cut me off because of them.

I still feel like shit because of it and I feel worthless.

There’s this guy at my university who I instantly was attracted to when I met him, I approached him, we exchanged numbers and texted a few times. I wanted to be in a relationship with him because I rarely find guys who I feel intense physical attraction for He told me he wasn’t looking for a relationship right now, but I figured I could just wait it out. I sent him a really long text explaining how physically attracted I was to him, not saying I wanted a relationship but that I’d be willing to wait, he didn’t respond so I deleted his number and didn’t text him again. I knew he went to the gym so I kept on showing up at the gym just to see him. I would just make eye contact on my way in, then run on the treadmill a bit, not approaching. Today I decided to go up to him and say something, and he told me to stop bothering him. I said ok and left the gym immediately. I guess I won’t be going to the gym again. It’s frustrating how none of the guys I like ever like me back. I was actually holding back how obsessive I could be. I guess my gushy text expressing how I liked his physical appearance was a bit overboard. I wish I was a normal person and not a socially reclusive broken retard. I want to kill myself so bad

This isn't my picture, but it's the way I live.

What are some green flags you like to see in men?

Does it bother you if you're partner is open about their previous relationships, previous ONS, ex-girlfriends, ex-wives, and such and always brings them up?

i'm a very anxious/nervous type person. i've been with my bf for about 2 years now and we only talk through messages on discord for the most part cause we live very far away from each other and I get way too scared to call. growing up, I pretty much avoided boys and so i really cant talk to him. we've tried a few times but I just cant. it makes me insanely scared and nervous. he sends me voice messages sometimes though and he sounds really really really cute and I tell him this all the time, how cute he is. problem is the other day I sent him a video of me talking about some random stuff and he was just called me cute a bit. I know this sounds stupid but i guess I was expecting him to be like "awww you sound so so so cute" and stuff but he seems like only mildly interested? I don't know. I don't think he said anything wrong but its just that I feel like I'm so in love with him and enamoured by him and I don't know if he feels the same and its making me depressed.

Hi everyone,
I'm not sure if this post is allowed on here, but it's worth a shot. I'm 19 this year, and up until I was 14 I was convinced I was heterosexual. But every time a guy hit on me or asked me out, I'd get this deep feeling of dread and disgust. Once I even cried because I felt 'dirty'. When I was 16, I saw this boy, I really really liked him. I'd talk about him all the time, wish he'd ask me out, got upset when he turned me down, etc. Eventually, I went on a date with him when I was 17, and I came home genuinely wondering if I was a lesbian. I had an on and off thing with him throughout last year, but every time my friends would jokingly refer to him as my boyfriend, I'd feel disgusted that they could even percieve me that way. I'd have so many talking stages with guys, but after a day or two, that 'honeymoon phase' would wear off and I would genuinely hate them. Every time my friends would talk about boys, I'd feel this almost imposter syndrome when I'd talk and try to relate to them. When I'd see guys IRL, I'd study their faces, imagine scenarios, before finally deciding to like them. I liked getting attention and validation from men, but I'd never want it to get serious. My 'feelings' for men i've 'wanted' recently always wittles down unless I see them IRL, then I want them to want me again. Sounds pretty lesbian, right?

Here's my dilemma. I've had two 'talking stages' with girls before, and I lowkey got that same 'ick' feeling. I'd honestly get uncomfortable every time my friends / family members / literally anyone would just percieve me as capable of having romantic feelings period. (I.E., insinutating i'm busy on valentines, asking about relationship prospects, etc.) I find the idea of being with a man appealing, occasionally find myself wanting a boyfriend even, I find male fictional characters attractive, and I've had crushes on IRL men before but they were always unattainable in some way (i.e. tiktok boys or passers by on the street.) I remember having crushes on boys as a kid, before I could conceptualise male validation. I don't feel aversed to being with a man, and I find sex with AMAB individuals appealing. I've had phases where I even questioned my attraction to women and thought I was straight and faking it.

However, I can't differentiate between these feelings towards men being comphet / wanting validation / loving the chase, or if I'm just bisexual and currently going through the 'bi cycle'. My standards for Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

i like girls but only certain type. the hikki femcel type of, but most of them are either straight or not interested in daiting. i dont think i will ever find gf to be with because of it. all the girlies i have liked never liked girls. all im asking for is cute pale hikikomori-ish girl who is similar to me…

I think my gf hates me

or at least has grown to like me a lot less over the course of our relationship. We have been dating for almost 6 months now and at first it was really good but than she started ignoring me more and more

like for example she is like super chronically online and has a screentime of like 16 hours a day on her phone when she doesnt have uni or work or wtv

but she takes ages to respond to me im talking like 8 hours WHILE ACTIVE, like not including when she is sleeping.like on valentines day i wished her happy valentines at 7am and she didnt respond till 9pm

and like idk at our one month she got me a handwritten letter and flowers and than for the months after that she wrote me a letter which was super sweet. But for our five months she didnt get me anything so im starting to wonder if i have upset her. also i always for our anniversaries i always get her gifts like plushies, flowers, a card and her fav chocolate and snacks

idk i also just feel like she doesnt see a future with me. I feel like a placeholder until a prettier girl comes. idk i know i need to talk to her but i dont know how

i also was recently with diagonsed bpd which she doesnt know about yet and it makes me really unstable espically when she ignores me or treats me differently.

i am so so scared to lose her and i am so afraid she will leave me. I genuinely think I would kill myself. Over the course of the relationship i have attempted sucicde twice because i felt ignored and unloved by her which i know is not her fault and that it is my own perception.
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