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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Use REPORTS. Posting 'Mods pls' achieves nothing.
Check the Catalog before making a new thread.
Do not respond to maleposters. See Rule 8.
Please read the rules! Last update: 04/23/2020 - No new rules, only clarification added.


/asdgen/ - Autism Spectrum Disorder general Anonymous 38848[Reply]

How many cafe goers are on the spectrum? Autism presents itself differently in women and is heavily underdiagnosed and/or misdiagnosed among women. Share your experiences, thoughts, or feelings about your experience with autism in this general.
7 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 38919

Sounds like the sort of thing I would do. Nowadays I limit my interactions with other people as much as possible though.

Anonymous 38920

Not dxed but I'm pretty sure I have some degree of autism because I display most of the symptoms. My parents were against sending me to a professional growing up because they didn't want me to think there was anything wrong with me or have me experience an otherwise abnormal education, while secretly setting me up on "play-dates" with autistic girls. Like many itt I have difficulties with personal social interaction – it's difficult to speak or look people in the eye. Back when I had a friend group I was content to just exist in the company of others, but 1-on-1 encounters, even among people I was otherwise comfortable with, were too difficult for me, which ultimately dissolved all of my relationships. I also tend to be very obsessive and constantly feel the need to move / do something. I've never had a job and am a bit worried as the time when I need to acquire one approaches. I hope I can manage it when that time comes.

Anonymous 38994


>I’m starting to think I could have a mind form of autism

Anonymous 39385


Why did I have to be born this way? I’ll never stop being bullied and made fun of by others

Anonymous 39415

Autism is only a deal breaker for shitty people unless it manifests in ways that make the autist an asshole. From what I understand from my friend with autism your best bet for getting better at social situations is figuring out the underlying mechanics behind social interaction since that's a lot easier to grasp for autists apparently and memorizing a script from a self help book is just a bad idea because you won't ever deviate from it depending on context which is just bad


Seeing couples Anonymous 27210[Reply]

Am I a psycho if seeing happy couples outside makes me sad? I was just at a fireworks show for the Fourth of July because my mom wanted to go and I couldn’t help feeling like shit noticing all the people in attendance seemingly in healthy relationships with loving partners. To be clear, I bear no ill will towards these people—I just wish my life was better.
15 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 38859



lmao what

Anonymous 38860

>reddit users

Anonymous 38874

Darkweb as a word never meant onion links. It only refers to "website I can't get to through yahoo hub".

Anonymous 38906

You're thinking of Deep Web.
Slightly different edgy misleading term.

Anonymous 39004

The absolute state of redditors

sad anime girl.jpe…

Am I a bad person? Anonymous 38622[Reply]

I posted this to r9k and got a lot of "you are a terrible person please die" responses. Haven't gotten that reaction irl so I was conflicted. If I get similar responses here I will accept it and do some self-reflection.
>Fucked up by an internet pedo when I was around 11.
>Never met irl (thank god) but gave him enough content to potentially get him arrested for CP.
>Almost 20 now and mostly over it but still need a bit of closure
>Want to find him, ask why, get angry, etc. but have no leads. Don't even know if he was ever reported. Sometimes worry that he's still hurting other kids.
Do I go to extreme lengths to hunt this dude down or do I just need to let it go?
(extra new bits) I don't blame this for everything bad in my life, yes I am partially to blame, I do not use this as a crutch and am a functional person. Just would appreciate closure.
16 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 38688

?? why would you be in the wrong here at all?
t. 4chan user browsing this site for the first time

Anonymous 38689

I searched for her greentext on a 4chan archive to find her post and it looks like two or three pedophiles leapt onto the thread as soon as it arrived in order to attack what they see as a threat to their fellow pedophile, and some non-pedophile man had sane, non-pedophile responses for her (so men who want to virtue signal about "I'm a man and I'm not like the pedophile trash" can fuck off, your male-internet-defense-force ramblings are not necessary).
It was kind of to be expected. Pedophiles were a major component of /r9k/ even in the "gentleman" days and that has remained unchanged across the years and culture shifts.

What I do have to say, after reading that, is that if the rabid, ignorant, stupid cruelty of a few low-IQ internet pedophiles is able to actually shake you like this, make you doubt yourself and hurt you to the extent of needing reassurance that you're not a bad person, then you're probably still too vulnerable and too hurt to actually do what you intend to do, and you're probably going to only end up more hurt afterwards. I have nothing against revenge, especially not in this case, but I am not sure you would be able to accomplish it, and I think this is the sort of thing that would need to be committed to absolutely, with no room for doubt or vulnerability.

Anonymous 38700

It makes me sad how many of you were also groomed on the internet as kids. I wish I could give you all hugs

Anonymous 38973

This is the archived post by the way. https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/59054915/#59055112
Op, disregard what the pedophiles have to say, you're not at fault. If possible, seek professional help.

Anonymous 39390

i think youre either
1. lack the ability to feel due to trauma
2. lack the ability to empathize
3. lack the ability to feel because that is how you are made (not due to trauma)

if you can seek a counselor or therapist you should be able to sort it out in time, good luck


Thoughts on motherhood? Anonymous 38769[Reply]

I'm torn because on one hand I feel like being a mother would be fulfilling and I like children but on the other hand I detest men and couldn't see myself getting married.

What are your thoughts on becoming a mother and/or motherhood in general?
106 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 39220

>In that case, all of child rearing is akin to owning a pet. Why don't the asexuals who don't like sex get a dog then? What elevates the human child above a dog? Increased neotony? And when the child is no longer cute?
Yes, that's what a lot of young couples do now. But there are benefits to choosing a child over a pet, such as intelligent companionship, reciprocated care during old age, carrying on a legacy, improving the world, etc.

Anonymous 39221

>are you supposing that is was wrong
I'm saying it's just. You give hate, it comes back.
>there's also the instinct that says "kill my mate for cheating on me"
No. That's your morality. Instinctively, there's no reason for you to do that. It's only due to your psyche being flanged that you think this is instinct.
>animals do not give a shit about morality
So humans aren't animals? Where's this divinity coming from all the sudden? What of human crimes?
>animals don't "trust" each other
How so?
>That's what animals do opportunistically
As is what humans do opportunistically.
>Man's nature as a moraless beast
You can't really read, can you? I'm beginning to doubt you've read Rand at all, despite the fact you make the same garbage teachings. Man was made with this morality. He did not make it. The kinder primate survived the cruelest ones.

You don't make the rules of debate. The audience decides who is right.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 39393

and most have an income from the baby father to support both their passions and motherhood, yea there are the few rare ones that are the everyday joe

Anonymous 39394

Because more chicks are putting their raw (negative) thoughts and feelings on here. Perhaps new younger generations finding this place too? If you want a positive delusional unrealistic community, please go outside. Go join a church, a sporting club, etc. As nihilistic as this may sound, it almost never turns out genuine sure the kindness is there but thats social etiquette. Get off your high stool.

Anonymous 39403

this was a very beautiful post anon


Anonymous 35980[Reply]

Okay ladies, how do I convince my bf to wear my underwear and to let me peg him?
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 35986

(samefag) and are likely to be mentally ill.

Anonymous 35988

You wouldn’t be on here if you weren’t mentally ill too.

Anonymous 35990

are you implying those are bad things?

Anonymous 35992

Ok. Now I have a feeling you're a scrote from r9k posting here to find someone for your fetish. I'm done here lol.


Anonymous 39395

caress his bum and whats up with the haters on this thread???? if anything i find fendom to be overrated and lame


what am i? Anonymous 39263[Reply]

ever since i was very young i have only had a sexual attraction to girls. i remember seeing women on music videos in bikinis when i was like 8 and thinking they were extremely hot and having sexual attractions towards them. i remember when i discovered porn, and i would look at the females the whole time and only be able to you know what to them. i remember searching up naked women and just finding them so attractive. but the thing is, i like guys. i always thought this was 'normal' for straight girls. until i asked my friend if straight girls find men sexually attractive but not women and they told me yes. i don't find men sexually attractive. like, i don't look at a guy and think oh fuck they are so hot and you know what to them. i find women sexually attractive but not men, but i like men???? its super confusing and im not sure what i am. pls help. i always thought this was just normal and straight girls still found women sexually attractive.
13 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 39293

Have you not considered settling down with a woman? You could adopt or get a sperm donor if it means that much.

I've similarly always been turned on by women, but up until this very year I just "couldn't imagine myself marrying a woman!" It took a lot of unpacking of gay shame and practicing of self-acceptance to determine that I very much DO want to have a wife, even more than a husband (despite being also sexually attracted to men, which let me avoid facing the truth for eons…this is irrelevant to you, though).

Being with a man is often promoted as the ultimate goal for women, and most dimensions of a woman's self-esteem supposedly hinges on male attention according to popular narratives. Even if you live in an atypical household and are mostly or fully gay, just consuming heterosexual media will train you to have the rigid goal of endgaming with a guy.

TL;DR without the blog and word salad: you may know that lesbian marriage is an option…but do you know emotionally?

Anonymous 39316


You're a lesbian

Anonymous 39320

you’re a lesbian. if you want kids, look into adopting, sperm donation, surrogates, whatever

Anonymous 39329

You're a person. What good are labels, really?

Anonymous 39388

sounds like you are insecure with guys? like im gonna assume you dont know how it is being with them and that scares you?
and if you were to be comfortable with that then youd be a bisexual, otherwise youre a lesbian


How to stop holding grudges Anonymous 39163[Reply]

I've been holding a grudge with someone I live with for several weeks now. We're on speaking terms just about but things very much aren't going to be the same. I'm trying to forgive them but I find it very hard to do so. I genuinely want to get over it but I feel like I'm never going to see them the same way
13 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 39205

Overtime you can settle into disliking the person without actively feeling shitty whenever you interact with them which seems like the best way to go. Imo the question isn't how do you forgive them, it's how do you live with them without being shitty to them

Anonymous 39209

Over time*

Anonymous 39210

How do I attempt to do that then? Whenever I'm around her I just feel sad and empty. This person was like a mother figure to me at one point, it just hurts and I feel betrayed
All I can do is say morning to her now and I feel sad it'll never be like it was

Anonymous 39216

>I'm sort of under the impression that she's justified in holding the grudge but isn't in a place with her feelings where she can just say fuck it and emotionally detach from the person.
If she's justified in holding the grude, she can hold it then. If not, don't. This is my main reason to make. When you're asking other people to convince you of something that means you already want to make the choice, you're just afraid of betraying some sense of the you who originally made the choices leading up to the current moment. I don't see how being emotionally detached has anything to do with the situation. There's no need to be neutral and detached, she could as easily forgive as she could detach as she could keep holding the grudge.
>I feel like were running up against the limits of what text can easily convey here and I don't know if I've come across as hostile to you but I don't hold any ill will towards you, I just have the compulsion to clarify how I see things
I sense no hostility from you, and I hope you don't sense any from me. I am trying to be as straight forward as possible. It probably comes off as confrontational, but I feel as if there is no better way to give a response.
>I believe I am wholly justified in my contempt for this person but I really don't want to hold it against them forever. They're not having a great time themselves right now and even if I didn't cause their plight I don't want to add onto it in anyway
Compassionate of you, but I don't understand what holding a grudge has to do with adding to their plight. Holding a grudge is just an emotional state, unless you're acting on by actively sabotaging her or hurting her, which is a completely different matter, you are not hurting her. Do you perhaps want to hurt her, but are trying to choose not to?
>I admittedly have trust issues in general but I do think that if I did have this issue and also didn't live with this person I would have cut them off entirely.
If that is the case, do so.
>I just feel awful for having misplaced my trust in this person, but even so I'd like to have them at arms length right now as opposed to not hPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 39267

I don't want to hurt this person as much as i simply don't want anything to do with them. it's been almost a month now but i just can't force myself to act the same way i did around her. now i'm more withdrawn and reserved
I still feel sad about it, i was at first angry but now i'm just depressed about it all, like its amazing how one mistake can completely ruin and sully what was once a mutually beneficial relationship
since my feelings have changed from anger to sadness i am sure in the future they may change to something even less emotional but for now I will take your advice and hope it hurts less in the upcoming days
I just don't want to be openly apathetic or something of the like to her when she is struggling with her own problems right now

thanks for talking to me anon, i appreciate your advice


How do you deal with copycats? Anonymous 39241[Reply]

(( Or women who are jealous of you in general ))

Have you ever had a copycat& Have you been copycatting anyone& Have people been jealous of you to a point where they tried to turn your life into theirs and how you dealt with it&

I personally encountered a lot of jealous women and have been copycatted by about 4 people.

2 of which were on internet, the other 2 IRL. The last internet one was obsessed with me to a point that she dyed her hair my colour and wanted to change her name to mine legally. However, right now I am struggling with an IRL one and I am still not too sure on what to do about it.

It's my s/o's little sister who frankly, is 5 years older than me. The first time I met her she was acting okay, even though she would stare at my body and green-eye me. But later then she started giving me odd compliments (when s/o was away) that she would wish she had my face, or she would compliment me and then spend 5 minutes of shitting about herself. Later then on Discord she asked me why I use emotes in every message. I explained myself. She answered that now she knows the secret of my cuteness and is going to steal it. Next day buys nitro for the first time and tries joining servers I am in.
Later it turned into her (and still remains) trying to dress up the same way I do. It's also funny when she is trying to make a knock-off version of my dresses, still, creeps me out. In the past she also tried talking my exact sentences and doing the same 'food preferences'. She is the person who is convinced that 'every fat man has it easy, but fat women are so unlucky, we get nothing!' kek and also is saying that she is a baby on internet and resolves herself around sanrio aesthetic at age of 26. Also everyone are letting her be rude and do ridiclious things because 'wah…shes depressed. we feel bad for her.'.

She is also doing a bunch of shady things right now in order to try to start family drama and is doing weird attempts on turning father's family side against me when I am doing nothing but politely existing. I don't feel like getting too much into it though.

Being around her is unbearable because she acts very immature and again, is trying to copy me. She can't even talk to women her age, only people who are not more than 21. I just want to feel comfortable whenever I have to encounter her, I wish there was a way to blockoff my inner emotions and anxiety completely. If the thing shPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 39242

>dyed hair

You sound like one of those people who delusionally believes others copy you in general. The sister in law story is weird, if even true.

Anonymous 39244

When I was a little kid, there was this girl that HATED me, despite me not having any real conversation with her. We have the same name, I don't know if that is a factor.

But she always would try and break me and my friend group apart, and try to paint me in a bad light to people in my friend group, mock my personality traits, and say I'm "using" people (???), and she'd copy my personality down to exact inside jokes/memes I would use, mannerisms, and clothing, even wore fake piercings and dyed her hair to match mine (wtf???), all while seething in rage about me.

Then, when I moved, she stole my entire friend group, and told everyone how she was glad I left.

Bitch is crazy.

As an adult, she tries to re-add me on Facebook all the time, deletes me, and re-adds me again.

3/4 of female friends I've had have skinwalked me to an extent (whether that be by interests which I don't care about as much because we now can do things together lol, or by clothing style), it's really weird…

Anonymous 39245

I never shared details. And i also mentioned that the SAME said person willingly wanted to change their PASSPORT NAME to mine. They also ctrl c+ ctrl vd my messages from their server just to paste them on other one, pretending to be me and talking to people like that.

images (5).jpeg

Online Female Only Spaces Anonymous 36833[Reply]

Everyone who was butt mad about women shit talking men in the man hate threads is laughable. Who cares? Say what you want because men do it anyway. Fuck you.

Now onto my rant. Fuck these pathetic ass scrotes who go out of their way to invade women's spaces, including online. You shits find out women made their own thing and you go out of your fucking way to disturb. It's unbelievable really. Discord servers and everything. This one dude who couldn't prove he was a female autistically admitted he was going to find other female only servers to shit up. He wasn't even doing this with other people as a raid. He was just pathetically going server to server on his own like a retard. It's really not a mystery why people assume you assholes are desperate incels.

I mean look at this board. I love this board, but it's become /r9k/ 2.0. Fuck off.
37 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 38992

*computers were predominantly female. Computer science has always been a boys club. Other than Hopper and Lovelace it's been a huge sausagefest.

Anonymous 39000

It's more 'equal' in other countries because of economic incentive and families interested in having educated daughters because the usual system doesn't work out very well in changing economic conditions, traditional daughters are more of a money sink and don't bring anything to table in money or status. Many are quite ambitious on their own too unlike their firstworld counterparts. Furthermore, men in those countries usually have to work immediately and don't have as much time for school. You can imagine a lower middleclass family having most their children working immediately in family professions or business, and then putting a daughter or two through school to help climb the ladder. Education also means possibilities in migration, possibilities of high salary more importantly. All of this is irrelevant to firsties and culturally completely different hence gender disparities.

Anonymous 39002

To add further, a field like compsci offers much more possibilities than what firstworld women do well (economically) with. Being an educated, technical professional is very marketable so it's a necessity.

Anonymous 39090


>15 years
Ahhh I'm so envious, that must be so comfy

Anonymous 39225

Jelly. I was never able to make friends on lj.


Anonymous 39080[Reply]

Am I bisexual? I always thought I was, at the very most, bicurious since I've only had occasional weak attractions to girls. But I found a girl on instagram(i'll post a pic if you want) and it's making me feel some things… She doesn't shave, and things just clicked in my mind that I'm not attracted to women who shave, but since most women shave, maybe that's why I'm not attracted to most girls? I've been having fantasies recently about hairy girls and stroking their hairy body parts… ugh. I don't know. Is this just because I'm attracted to men and men don't usually shave their body hair so hairy women remind me of men? Or am I actually bisexual? I'm so confused. Pic isn't the girl im talking about.
7 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 39119

You sound pretty bisexual to me. Just because you're only attracted to women who do x doesn't make you not bi. I don't know, just take it easy.

Anonymous 39164

Yah you're bi lol

Anonymous 39165

If you don't believe in troons, you could have women who are so focused on penis that they don't care if it is a masculine or feminine man. You could have the same for a man who is very focused on vulvas.

Anonymous 39169

If everyone is bisexual, it is not useful as a descriptor. If everyone fits inside a category, the category is not relevant since you never go outside it.

Anonymous 39171

Maybe, but not bisexual enough that it matters (to the point where they'd actually date or sleep with same gender).

I wish everyone was also bi.

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