>>20919>Love is in strange places, but at the end of the day you have to be careful where you look for it. Fuck edating
So well put, and too true. Dating someone on the other side of the world is an isolating experience. A timezone difference of 7 to 16 hours. Rarely being on the same wavelength because when you're getting up, he's going to bed, or when it's morning for you it's late afternoon for him. The knowledge that you'll probably never meet. The extreme levels of trust it takes to believe he isn't just stringing you along as a side thing online while talking to other girls at the exact same time, or seeing someone else in real life.
>I was legit depressed for like 6 months after it ended.
Yup. Same here. I've never felt that strongly for anyone in my life, but I still wouldn't recommend it to anyone. The lack of physicality, especially when others in your life are dating or having children, is soul-crushing. You want so badly to do it, too, but they're not there and you don't even know if they truly reciprocate your feelings because everything's done online, pushed through a filter. I've done it twice and each time gave me some brilliant highs, always followed by the lowest lows in my life. Against my better judgment, I tried a third with someone I met recently. I really like him. He's sweet and makes me happy, but he's so far away, and it hurts so much already.
Perhaps I am just selfish, or maybe it's my low self esteem… but I want to talk to him and know that I have his undivided attention. I don't want to wonder if he's talking to someone else at the same time, or browsing youtube while we're talking. I want to visit and cuddle on his couch and hold him. Actually hold him. I want to kiss and hold hands and cuddle and be intimate, and I can't do any of that. It's crushing. I feel lonelier while I'm in the relationship than I do when I'm single. Every good moment is so bittersweet, and just seeing couples on the street makes me want to burst into tears on the spot. Couple that with the constant not-knowing, the huge trust requirement, the moments when you message him and he takes forever to respond, and I just can't handle it. I get obsessive and become this clingy, jealous person.
I'd rather be alone than deal with that. I was fine
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