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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Anonymous 24642[Reply]

I am seething. I go on instagram to make a meme page and I see my ex's new Instagram and wouldn't you know it, the first post is a selfie. The whole time during my fucking relationship with him he'd tell me he didn't want to take photos because he had body image issues. I really wanted photos with him when I was with him and now I feel betrayed and so god damned angry.
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 24657

>>24650
>maybe it's his way of overcoming his body issues
this is what im thinking
op did you break up with him or vice versa

Anonymous 24659

>>24642
Did he have sex with you? If so, he probably lied to you for cheap meaningless sex. Happens a lot now.

Anonymous 24663

Idk anon, everyone looks better when try a dozen times for a good selfie that they can edit afterwards. I wouldn't read too much into it.

Anonymous 24925

>>24642
>instagram
>normalfag memes
you deserved it desu

Anonymous 24963

Seething? Girl if this is making you this mad im getting image in my head that anything can set you off. How did you guys break up



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Anonymous 22560[Reply]

anyone else here just have no friends? i mainly mean irl friends. but ive gotten to the point in my life where even my close internet friends are too busy to talk to me because they found real life friends. im not bitter about that, i think its healthy and theyre way happier. but its just reminded me that i don't really have that, even though i've always wanted that. i have one irl friend but i can tell we're growing apart, fast. shes into partying and all that and thats just not me. id love to join a club or something but.. i had a bad experience with the last club i joined(my fault) and my schedule makes anything like that difficult. where my lonely bitches at?
46 posts and 9 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 24781

>>24730
Hi anon, I fell asleep yesterday. I hope I've won your heart anyway.

I'm working on my "intellect" self-esteem. I think it is exactly what you mentioned, sometimes I am the smartest person in a room and it is a bit awkward but ok, however sometimes I am/feel like a dumbass in a group (specially when to my lab colleagues, all finishing their PhD's) and it does not feel good at all.

I love studying, but I would not enjoy having a life which I would have to study 13h a day, one of the reasons I did not choose to be a doctor (and also because I am a pussy).

If you did do that sketch, I would love to see it.

Anonymous 24826

>>24725
im >>24716

im currently studying molecular biology.

ive tried going out before, but the last time i went out to town with some people, they took me to this horrible club which looked like what i imagine the deepest layer of hell to be. the floor was covered in vomit, broken glass and spilled alcohol, and when the people i went with turned up at the place we were meant to meet, they were already extremely drunk. since they live in the same apartment they just shared a couple of bottles of wine before going out.

partying isnt that much fun when youre sober in a disgusting filthy night club toilet holding someones hair for them all night because they dont know when to stop drinking.

Anonymous 24829

>>24826
That sounds disgusting. You should probably get some better friends.

Anonymous 24830

>>24826

Hi Anon. I think our other friend banned, probably was a guy

Molecular biology is one of my favorite areas within biomedical sciences. Are you involved in any kind of research?

Also, I agree with >>24829. Been there, I was trying to adjust myself to like this kind of social events where everybody just drank themselves to death. I don't even care about drugs, I like drinking and smoking weed sometimes but not to get myself passed out for fuck's sake. I think the best is just to admit to yourself that you do not have fun that way and try to find people that are similar to you. It is harder to make friends, though.

Anonymous 24896

>>24830

hi, im only first year, so i havent really gotten involved in any research yet.

and the problem at my school is is that all the programs that are organised on facebook and places like that always involve alcohol and clubbing, there is pretty literally nothing else, ive checked. although that does make complete sense since the city im living in is famous for the clubbing scene i guess, which is what attracts a lot of people here.

i might try to make friends with the locals, since i do know the language, but it seems like our timetables dont align so we'll see.



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Anonymous 23799[Reply]

my life is going to shit and i want to smoke.

should i just do it?
22 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 24472

radiation.png

>>23799
Don't do it OP.
>Radford Jr and Hunt [13] at Harvard School of Public Health (Boston, MA,) reported that for an individual smoking two packages of cigarettes a day, the radiation dose to bronchial epithelium from polonium-210 inhaled in cigarette smoke probably is at least seven times that from background sources, in localized areas may be up to 10 Sv (1000 rem) or more in 25 y. Besides, Winters and Di Franza [14] at the University of Massachusetts (Boston, MA) much later reported that in a person smoking one and a half packs of cigarettes (i.e. 30 cigarettes) per day, the radiation dose to the bronchial epithelium in areas of bifurcation is 80 mSv y−1 (8,000 mrem) – the equivalent of the dose to the skin from 300 X-ray films of the chest per year.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2672370/

To put it more simply, polonium-210 and lead-210 are radioactive elements that particularly like to be uptaken by tobacco while it's grown. These are the agents primarily responsible by the carcinogenic activity of the cigarette. The fatal dose of polonium-210 is 10-30 micrograms (or 0.000001-0.000003 g), and it was once used to kill Alexander Litvinenko, who was a KGB defect that sought asylum in the UK.

This is not something you want to play around with. You're essentially consuming a radioactive decay product of uranium, except even more deadly than either uranium or plutonium as a killing agent. Ask yourself, is the inevitable addiction really worth the temporary pleasure?

Anonymous 24498

>>23922
Who the fuck smokes once in a while? Maybe you're the child that doesn't know how people work. Go outside for once.

Anonymous 24628

>>24445
external limitations like these are actually really helpful to avoid smoking.
Ever since I told my parents I smoke I had absolutely no reason not to smoke as many as I please

Anonymous 24631

Smoke if you want to, but if you're going to then do it properly otherwise you'll just look stupid.

https://www.wikihow.com/Smoke-a-Cigarette

Been smoking since I was 13 and I think it's the dumbest drug, you should probably just smoke weed like every other "depresed" normie.

Anonymous 24839

>>23799
you'll get cancer and it's very addictive, don't do it



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Nothing helps. Anonymous 24731[Reply]

Nothing helps. I don't know if I've just given up on life or I'm lazy or something but I think I've tried most "fulfilling" things to get rid of this void in my life.
I don't want a relationship, nor do I think it'll help me. I'm a pretty fucked up person atm and I don't wanna put that on other people.
I've tried religion (Catholicism, Christianity, hell even witchcraft), being straight edge, doing drugs, being friends with people online and irl, mediation, art, music, school, video games, therapy (+medication), exercise… nothing fits. Nothing makes me feel like there's anything worthwhile. I feel so out of place everywhere and in everything I do.
I don't really have friends anymore, and I'm thinking that's what's missing, but I only get drained socially when I hang out with anyone.
I don't know what to do or what to try to get my life back on track. I'm not at rock bottom but everything seems to be falling apart. There is just so much emptiness and sadness in the world. Everything seems like cope.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 24739

>>24733
I'll see if there are any group sessions around me. Part of the reason why I stopped therapy was how expensive it was, hope this isn't as bad financially.
I'm currently reading Ivanov by Chekhov. I tend to read a lot of plays these days.
>>24734
Tried something similar actually. I considered being a nun, but most orders require a bachelor's in theology. Consulted with my grandma (very religious) and deacon.
>>24737
Fucked up because all I do is smoke weed or get drunk. Sleep 16 hours a day when I don't have school, which I've been avoiding going to. I have no motivation to do anything anymore.
I guess my life would be on track once I feel like there's something worth living for or I feel motivation or have goals but, even the ones I have now aren't really enough to get me to leave my bed.
Having friends used to make me happy but, some things have happened to make me feel untrustworthy of people. I guess another thing is seeing my friends succeed and be happy.
I'm trying out the music thing again and see if it helps any. Maybe start a farm in my backyard.

Anonymous 24744

>>24739
>all I do is smoke weed or get drunk
That's the first step, anon. If you kick those sensory-overloaders, you'll feel again. Better yet, you'll feel like doing all those things again. I believe in you.

Anonymous 24770

>>24745
The abuse tends to amplify the issue.

Anonymous 24776

>>24731
I was basically reading my thoughts when reading your post. I've tried everything as well, except having anyone as a friend. There is nothing wrong with me that no one should want to be my friend;I just don't know how to become friends with anyone. Especially one that shares any interests as me. I have been trying to make a friend online with people who I see around and about talking about certain YouTube stuff I like but it never works out right.

Anonymous 24789

>>24776
Online friends aren't the same as real ones, anon. True satisfaction only comes from real social contact. You need to venture outside, into the unknown.



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25+ thread? Anonymous 24635[Reply]

Not sure how many of you are out there, but anyone got any mid to late 20's feels?

>didn't finish uni, going back because I'm tired of working retail

>no bf, feels like a lot of the decent ones are taken up, but starting to feel I'm a lot to blame in this department
>best friend just announced on Facebook that she's got a baby on the way, no idea how to tell her that I don't want to hang out with her this weekend because I'm unhealthy levels of jealous
>parents want me to go into nursing because it's what my hillbilly cousin did and now she's somewhat stable, but she is miserable and works at a pill mill
>26 atm, 30 is barrelling towards me like a train
>trying to improve my living situation and drop my hikki ways
>uninstalled the Sims from my laptop because it just makes me want dogs I can't afford
>just starting to see hints of wrinkles show up on my forehead
>almost at goal weight, but haven't been on a date in almost a year because I hate how I look still
>feels like I figured out the direction I want to take my life a little too late
>dozens of Pinterest boards filled with nothing but individual room designs for house I also can't afford

What even is my l i f e?
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 24637

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>>24636
I know. It's TERRIBLE. I really want to be there for my friend, but it just hurts a lot because I feel like I wasted a lot of my early 20's unlike her and I just feel like I have to be mad at her or me, and I'm just so tired of hating myself. Rationally, I'm going to go. I'd be the worst otherwise. I just can't get over my jealousy because I don't know how to forgive myself for being an internet addict for over 10 years. Also, my friend told me to stop being so hard on myself after I joked about how I'm "tumbler's damaged goods" one too many times. She said that I need to stop comparing my life to others, but I don't know how the hell to do that.

Anonymous 24655

>>24637
>>24646
You can't afford to ruminate on how "far behind" you are. You'll only fall farther and farther back the less time you spend moving forward. Make the effort, and don't hope for their failure.

Anonymous 24660

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>>24635
25 here

Life is really too short to worry about fulfilling some normie standards. You'll notice things going better for you once you stop caring that much about what other people want from you, and comparing yourself to them. Of course it's good to be somewhat self sufficient, but even when you're not, who fucking cares no one asked you if you want to be here. By all means, put effort into things you love, get a job, hang out with your friends, meet new people, get knocked up, whatever. But make your own decisions about how it's going to happen. And holy shit just go on a date, men are way more insecure and thirsty than you realize. Even the good ones.

Read some Camus tbh, it helped me a lot
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Myth_of_Sisyphus

Anonymous 24664

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>>24662

Anonymous Moderator 24666




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Why should anyone just unconditionally love themselves? Anonymous 19908[Reply]

I just don't get it. What reason is there not to loathe yourself if you genuinely have loathsome aspects about yourself? Everyone says that it's wrong to hate yourself, but why? Sure, it's unfortunate, but is it really WRONG?
13 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 22157

Hating yourself is unproductive.

Most people to have some self-respect to be able to improve yourself. While I don't "love myself", I also treat my body with respect. That means feeding it well, exercising it, making it look pretty, but also offering forgiveness to myself if my efforts go haywire.
I tried the whole self-hate thing and it honestly just results in binging and crying on the kitchen floor, resulting in more self hate. It's much easier to just change your mindset and let the good results come around when they come.

Anonymous 24006

jumping-spider-jum…

>>19908
People think of loving themselves incorrectly. How many times have you heard people on twitter say "You're beautiful" or "You're a work of art, love yourself"? They are telling you to love yourself in a static sense. But the body is not static. You are not static. You are dynamic. You need to love yourself the way someone loves a skill. Where you want to keep refining it. Practicing. Getting better. If you change your frame of mind to this viewpoint, then things you find loathsome are challenges to become better. You have a healthier attitude about yourself and you'll improve as a human being. Hating yourself is bad because it utilizes tactics like guilt to force you to become better, which in the short term may provide results, but in the long term leads to inconsistency and disinterest in bettering yourself because of the negativity associated with self-improvement. And to continue to get better, especially as you hit new boundaries and hit plateaus, it's consistency that will get you through those obstacles.

Anonymous 24017

The only thing hating yourself does is make you feel like shit and make you stuck.
Loving yourself means taking care of yourself, accepting your flaws because no one is perfect, and working on bettering yourself as much as you can because you feel like you deserve it.
The only truly loathsome aspects someone can have are brought on by trauma, like personality disorders, and that is fixable.

Anonymous 24123

Dumb frogposter ma…

>>19908
h-hello, is this thing on? I wanted to add a bit of statistics I've found that have highlighted how warped my thinking has become. They say nothing about how things "ought" to be, but I don't think the way things are should be ignored.
>according to a 1993 government survey in the UK 3% of people report thinking that life was not worth living within the past 2 weeks
>in 2014 5% of people reported having suicidal thoughts within the past 2 weeks
before reading this I would have guessed that 80% of people think that life isn't worth living. I, or we, are wrong. A link to an analysis of the data (1993-2014) is below.
https://files.digital.nhs.uk/pdf/q/3/mental_health_and_wellbeing_in_england_full_report.pdf

Anonymous 24458

>>19908
It's not about loving yourself unconditionally, it's about learning to accept your flaws, working around them and maybe even diminishing them if possible and being able to see your qualities.
If you can do this, you can be happy.



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Anonymous 23974[Reply]

Hi, I don't know much about this place but I am glad to find a community full of girls. I'd like to share my /feels/ story here and get it off my chest to vent.

I am a severly mentally ill and an overemotional idiot and I am scared to talk to anyone about my feelings. The only person in my life who I felt could understand me was my grandmother but she was often busy. I decided to try manage some of these feelings by making a venting YouTube channel. I would make whiney videos talking about how ugly I was and what have you and because of the subject matter and because I was female it attracted a 4chan/incel audience.

I could not handle this, especially since I had a bad history with incels (I tried joining forever alone communities as a child and that resulted in a lot of them preying on me), so in response I made a lot of spergy videos, some I even cried in, which obviously got me made fun of and further hated.

So my family got doxxed, it was entirely my fault. But I shit you not my grandmother took her own life a few days after this happened because of financial problems. Everything happened at once and suddenly I got ripped in two.
My family was being harassed because of me at the same time we had lost someone. Basically due to my whiney attentionwhoring the situation got so much worse.

The internet doesn't rest when you are facing irl pain either. When people found out I lost my grandma to suicide they targeted me on that, telling me she was in hell when I know that's not true because she was basically the nicest and most wholesome woman in the world.

On top of that the media was clickbaiting her suicide extremely because of how it happened, almost capitalizing off of her death.

I just don't know how any of this is fair. How the best person I ever had the pleasure of knowing is disrespected in this way after her passing, that the world hurt her to the point of doing it to begin with. That this woman who was a huge mother figure to me growing up is just gone. It hurts even more knowing that a lot of the excess pain brought at the time could have been avoided if it weren't for my idiotic internet antics.

I can't really live with myself after everything and her absence leaves a void in my heart.
9 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 24058

Sorry to hear about all this. Hope everything will go better for you and your family.

Anonymous 24070

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>>23974
Many of us here went through similar things. You're welcome here, you'll feel right at home.
Please note that some of the people from those sites lurk here and even post (they're banned as soon as they slip up) so please be careful with what you say still.
Anyway this board really helps in getting yourself away from those places, you're in the right track.

Anonymous 24106

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>>24046
Do you have any close friends that you can vent to online or in real life anon?

Anonymous 24115

>>23974
I think I recognized you from r*k but never realized how bad your situation is at the time.

Honestly don't know what to say but im hoping that you enjoy your stay here in this website and meet people who can help with the situation of you and your family greatly.

Anonymous 24323

cchug.png

I feel you so deeply anon, and I am so sorry. This story really resonates with me. I hope you are okay.



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Trying to find a friend: L Anonymous 4997[Reply]

Dear L, whose email started with ghosts(…),

I hope that someday you manage to see this thread, even if by chance, long after I post this. CC is small, but I have a feeling you'd love being here, so I hope you find it. I talked about you in the missed connections thread, but I think the chances of you seeing this here would be bigger. And I'm pretty sure you will someday.

It's been two years or so since we last talked. I don't even remember why I disappeared; if it was you or if it was me, but my closest friend wasn't comfortable with you because you know why, so back then I thought it was the right thing. I just wish I had managed to make things work in a different way. I really do. I apologize even for my excuses, they're not very good, are they?

Sorry it took me so long to try to contact you. When I emailed you last week and saw your account didn't exist anymore, I felt very sad. Now that I know you nuked your email I have no way to talk to you, and that leaves me broken hearted.
The last news I heard about you is that you got a divorce. If that's true, I am really sorry, but I hope good things come out of it.

Rereading our emails together is funny because we were so similar in many ways… And at the same time I was such an oversharer with you; you made me feel so comfortable.

I just hope you are happy, truly. Yesterday I remembered the song you sent me on my birthday and that made me laugh.
Wish you could understand my feelings, L. I wish we could have been closer friends. I hope your illness hasn't taken you away.

If you ever find this, even if you're not sure of who I am, please respond.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 24317

what song?



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Confidence Anonymous 10258[Reply]

How do I appear more confident? Is it something reserved for pretty girls?
38 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 24295

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Anonymous 24298

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>>24295
[Om Nom Nom]

Anonymous 24300

>>24278
They need help. So do you. Go see a doctor and get a prescription.
>>24284
>you have some sort of weird chastity and male supremacy fetish
Right, except I'm not the one partaking in an erp session in this thread. Seriously. Quit forcing your fetishes on everyone.

Anonymous 24304

>>24300
>normal sexual desires are a sick fetish

who hurt you

Anonymous 24305

>>24304
You're not even trying anymore.



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Anonymous 19286[Reply]

>be on testosterone for 2 years
>thinking about detransitioning
>quit taking testosterone for 2 weeks
>vaginal pains start up again and I fear my period
>take testosterone again

REEEEEEEE I WANT OFF THIS RIDE
26 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 19576

>>19574
>larping as a larper
I don't know what to say.

Anonymous 19609

There are methods for you to avoid having a period; birth control is one way, and I think there are surgical methods that aren't painful (basing this off of hazy articles I've read in the past, you can do your own research). Why do you feel the need to transition?

Anonymous 19610

>>19576
get that gc2b and pose like a prince nigga, some people were born to be boys forever

Anonymous 24149

Hello, I know I'm a little late, but hopefully you'll still read this at some point.

>I didn't used to have thoughts about detransitioning until I did acid and went through psychosis.


People often think they have incredible insights while on acid, but that's not because things become clearer, but rather that they get stuck on one thought and keep reinforcing it during the trip. It's normal to get stuck in mental holes or loops until something else catches your attention, and taking those thoughts too seriously can be quite damaging. Lsd can help you notice things that you ignore in your daily life because you got too used to them (an unhealthy friendship, repressed feelings, how dirty your bathroom sink has become, etc), but you still need to work through those thoughts while sober. After all dreaming about being murdered doesn't mean it's going to happen to you, but it can show that you are stressed or afraid of something.
In the 70's there were experiments to cure homosexuality with lsd, and it even worked for a while. But after a few months/years, the subjects would report having homosexual thoughts again, and underwent lsd therapy again. Some even got married to women. Of course the "heterosexuality" never lasted.


>I wish I was just normal, but I was never really normal.


Posting about this on an imageboard where a large portion of the users are rather anti-trans makes it seem like you were hoping for a certain kind of answer.
If you really want to be female again, you should give it a go. But before doing so, you might want to consider where those feelings are coming from. It could just be internalized transphobia, or your family pushing you to be female.

I think many people would be less miserable if gender roles weren't that strict, and trans/nb people wouldn't get so much hate. You aren't any more abnormal than lesbians, gay dudes, and tomboys. It's society that has to change.
I suggest reaching out to other trans people, since they will likely be able to give better answers regarding this issue than I can.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 24170

>>24149
>it could just be internalized transphobia
Go for it, OP.



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