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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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bad dads Anonymous 3103[Reply]

Does anyone else have issues with their father?
19 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 21826

>>21825
Me to a T. Be strong, other me.

Anonymous 21862

1527849979003.jpg

>>21826
Thank you, other me.

On further reflection though, I think people are too quick to label people as either abuser or victim, when the roles are, from my experience, likely to swap throughout a toxic relationship i.e. my mum was abused by my dad so she abused me so I was cruel to her later on, etc. Not to mention my dad was also abused as a child, so basically everyone in my family has played the role of the victim and the perpetrator at some point. Things are never as black and white as people make them out to be.

But I also get infuriated when people say that who haven't experienced abusive relationships because I feel they should stfu since they don't know shit, so meh.

I'm just glad I left so I could learn what a healthy relationship is supposed to be like.

Anonymous 21863

>>21862
>my mum was abused by my dad so she abused me so I was cruel to her later on
hahaha, fuck
I'm glad you're free of them, anon. I hope I can know love someday, too. Be free, other me!

Anonymous 21876

1525901430831.gif

>>21863
One day we will all be free. I'm okay now, and I hope someday you'll be okay too.

Anonymous 21882

>>21876
Knowing I can sympathise with someone on this is worth more than freedom could ever be. Thank you, anon.



F7F4B5E4-9382-4ABC…

despair Anonymous 20112[Reply]

last year around this semester i took a leave of absence from college because of my depression. ive been learning to deal with it in better ways since then and have grown from that experience and used that time to know myself more and work on my art.

now that the new semester is starting im feeling those old feelings again. the past week has been rough and ive been going through my lowest lows. i attended my first semester since my LOA and it was good so i dont know whats wrong with me but i just cant shake this overwhelming despair. the thought of going back to school brings me so much anxiety and makes me so sad.

theres a part of me that says i dont have to and that i can just drop out right now, that life is meaningless and if im shit thats okay. i want to just stay in my room and die. i think of all the time ahead of me and i cant bear it.

i dont really know what to do, i just want to do nothing and not exist. lately ive just been painting nonstop..my hand hurts but aside from sleeping its the only way i can stop thinking. im turning 21 this year and i feel the same way ive always felt, the emptiness is always there and every day i still feel like kms. i dont know if anyone can advise me, but i guess if u have similar experiences id like to hear? lets be here for each other.
29 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 21713

>>21703
i get what you mean and i understand the goodness of your intention. this is true, but i dont think you grasp the difficulty in how to achieve what you are saying. it is kind of naive to assume it was that easy for everyone. even if not all parts of the world are horrible there are parts that are unlivable and downright unfair for some. even if some people are living comfortably it is at the expense of another's suffering. i think its selfish and wrong to live this way. but that doesnt mean i wouldnt take the chance to if i could.

Anonymous 21717

>>21713
If you need to escape then do it. There shouldn't be anything holding you back from simply walking away, and if there is, there's nothing to lose trying to impasse it.

Does this happen to anyone else? 21767

E01164AF-687F-4019…

I keep having random men, sometimes attractive ones, compliment me on my appearance but not actually ask me out. I even had s guy say to me “You will have a boyfriend very soon. Not me, but a boyfriend very soon” ???? Is this a normal thing? I dont understand why guys want to gawk and flirt but not actually do anything about it

Anonymous 21780

>>21767
They're either being flattering about your appearance, or are humbled to consider making you theirs.

Anonymous 21860

>>21767
Sometimes you have to make a play when the ball is in your court.



04953816-9A34-4DBC…

The ride never stops. On and on it’s beyond insane Anonymous 21766[Reply]

>be me
>need attention and validation from strangers to not cry in the middle of the day
>get attention from strangers and friends
>feel uncomfortable, spill spaghetti, etc.
>repeat as infinitum

What do miners? How do I upgrade social gains? What are you supposed to do when strangers smile and are nice to you? How are you supposed to respond when a guy likes you but you don’t like him? I just feel like I’m always doing it all wrong

Anyone else /feel/ like this?

Anonymous 21777

>>21766
>nobody cares what you do
>please be yourself to death
Don't hold back what you want to do, or say.

Anonymous 21790

>>21766
I don't have all the answers, but this is how I cope with my spaget
>strangers smile/are nice
smile and be nice back but carry a knife/mace
>guy likes you, but you don't like him
polite but firm decline that extinguishes all hope without making him look stupid in front of friends. I like the "emotionally unavailable" excuse. If all else fails , carry a knife/mace.

I'm still super autistic when it comes to any situation that can't be solved with being polite and carrying a knife/mace

Anonymous 21835

>>21790
I should probably get some mace but anyways the real problem is that I have extremely fragile self esteem and no idea what to do about it. All day today I felt great but at my last class this guy who sat next to me treated me really rudely and I am STILL crying about it over an hour later. It wasn’t even super rude how he treated me but it just turned into this mental echo chamber about how nobody likes me and I’m such a burden to everyone and annoying and blah blah blah



1516241142804.jpg

Do men even have feelings? Anonymous 15289[Reply]

I've never met a man that had a shred of empathy, even when they are "depressed" it's all about ohhhh no I will never have this 10/10 asian stacy suck my penis or waaaaaah women find men who are taller more attractive, do they care about love or friendship or anything deeper than sex and social status.

non-femcel anons please answer this question.
307 posts and 26 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 21769

2AD434AF-AB31-4CCD…

>>21765
This is gold, anon, and the comments are too.

Anonymous 21775

>>21765
>Dailystormer
I don't even need to click or read the article to know what's going on in that fuckin mess of an article. We are so fucked as a society that people like this get a voice for people to read as if whatever said on that website is actually right about anything.

Anonymous 21783

>>21779
That's why I'm shitting on it anon. It's basically a blog website that calls itself "news" and take one situation and pretends this happens all the time and tries to give advice on something they don't know shit about. It's like reading a blog of an anti-vax mom. "I SEE THIS CHILD AGE 10 WAS DIAGNOSED WITH AUTISM AFTER HAVING A VAX 3 DAYS AGO AND HIS PARENTS SAID THE CHILD WAS NORMAL BEFORE 3 DAYS AGO. CLEARLY THE VAX DID THIS!!!" It's just filled with a bunch of hearsay to something they found on the internet that couldn't even be true. People lie on the internet and pretend every story is genuine and true.

Anonymous 21788

>>21769
Is pic related a pasta?
If so, it's quite a delicious pasta

Anonymous 21792

>>15290
I know it's bad miner etiquette to reply to a 3month old post but for my brother it was the opposite

When he was young he was so open and no filter, passionate, laughing, joyous. We had a lot of fun as kids, I remember all the days laughing in the yard, playing in our sandbox together and filming home movies on the deck.

When he got older he became really withdrawn… cooped up alone in his room for hours. He's very serious now, and married. But, that kind of 'adult' stoic where he won't goof around with me anymore, or, the most he'll do is some dry sarcasm.



d0ec736764ab43739a…

How do I stop?? Anonymous 21501[Reply]

How do I stop doing this? This is just so terribly wrong of me and I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't know if I'm bpd or something.

When a boy/person I'm interested in makes me even slightly jealous, even the implication that they might have a 'side girl' or be flirting with others, I just have a meltdown and consider self harm/suicide (i dont threaten them with it, just keep it to myself. i am not trying to be manipulative with this, its out of my control) and instantly consider this person not an option any longer.

same with when they make me feel ignored/neglected/like they don't like me - this one boy I really like ignored me when I said hi to him and I just instantly felt this wave of horrible feelings consume me, I walked into class feeling like dying/etc.

I hate this part of me so much and this clearly prevents me from having any normal relationships. I've never had an irl boyfriend before. I hate this very much and don't know what this is.
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 21504

>>21503
You go over there, claim to have bpd, then come here 10 minutes later saying you think you might have bpd. It's pretty clear that you've never been diagnosed, and besides that, it's a disorder characterized by unstable relationships, not complete avoidance of them. And girl, why are you begging for a "perfect incel bf" on r9k? They are human trash. It's not even worth it. If you can't get a good boyfriend, it is better to be alone. Those are the men who will abuse you, never show affection, never get a job, and never let you have friends because of their own insecurities. If you really want a boyfriend, what you should really be doing is improving yourself so you can get a decent man. Just take the pinkpill already.

Anonymous 21511

Alright. This post was made during a bit of a meltdown. I thought I finally found my first irl bf and he messaged me nonstop every day for a tiny bit and he told me he missed me when I didn't respond for a while, basically just ended up grasping my emotions really hard. Anyway we hadn't yet made the relationship official and i hadn't "done anything" with him, and one of his friends had a problem with that supposedly because he logged onto his snap and started hitting up some girl (Yes this wasn't just an excuse. He sent me a video of himself telling me what he was doing). Anyway that cause a meltdown but I managed to try to reassure myself it was just my jealousy and crazy issues because he wouldn't just abandon me for some girl that he had no connection to put was willing to "put out"..nope. He messaged me himself asking whether or not I was trying to get with him or if he could do things with that girl and this experience has just made me feel so worthless and replaceable and im not sure how to cope. Sorry about the unclear original post.

Anonymous 21512

>>21511
>He messaged me himself asking whether or not I was trying to get with him or if he could do things with that girl and this experience has just made me feel so worthless and replaceable and im not sure how to cope.

just chill out OP. like you said, you guys aren't even "official" - so it's weird to be jealous/possessive about someone you aren't even official with. are you even sure that he considers you as a gf? are you guys exclusively or just casually dating? etc. you didn't give much context. clear up what your status is with him instead of being insecure in relationship limbo.

>replaceable

what's the big deal with being replaceable? there's 7 billion people on earth - of course you're replaceable. but so is he. it's worn advice but don't stress too much. there's plenty of fish in the sea.
>>21504
>If you really want a boyfriend, what you should really be doing is improving yourself so you can get a decent man. Just take the pinkpill already.
agreeing with the poster here.
you can't force people to like you, op. if you keep acting jealous and clingy that'd push your (prospective) love interests away because i mean, most people wouldn't want to deal with a hot mess of a partner - you feel me? why would a decent person give themselves a headache dating a hot mess when they can just as easily date someone who -isn't- a hot mess. it's like picking between two brands. if the prices are similar, then of course the consumer picks the item that's the better quality. they're almost paying the same price after all.
>If you can't get a good boyfriend, it is better to be alone. Those are the men who will abuse you, never show affection, never get a job, and never let you have friends because of their own insecurities.
agreeing again. not trying to throw shade or anything, but you can't show yourself as too emotionally an mentally unstable because predators smell weakness like sharks smell blood in the water. not trying to scaremonger but there definitely are men/people in general that are willing to take advantage of your need to be loved and validated, and will use it to hurt and abuse you.
this is speaking from personaPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 21760

>>21502
What's wrong about being trans?

Anonymous 21770

>>21760
Men aren’t allowed here



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Why does everyone treat me like I'm a freak? Anonymous 21361[Reply]

I try very hard to look, act, and dress completely normal. I wear hoodies and jeans and bean boots in different colors pretty much every day, don't do crazy makeup, wear my hair in a bun, etc. and yet people stare at me like I'm a weird freak and laugh.

I've stopped going to most of the restaurants I like around my school because I tend to go there like every day and the people always laugh at me. The other day I walked out of the bibimbap place last week and one of the servers (she's Korean, I'm black) stared at me and then when I said hi to make it not so awkward she just stared and then started talking to her friend on the phone. Then when I ate there again today that lady started talking to her friend and laughing while she served me and gave me that weird look. I looked at how she served other people and she didn't do anything like that with them.

Today in class I asked a guy casually if the professor had taken attendance, he stared at me like I was speaking Chinese before just saying "uhhh no" and walking out quickly.

Am I so ugly that people literally feel the need to gawk and laugh and run away from me? What do you do about being a freak? Should I just retreat from society? I don't understand people. Can anyone relate?
17 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 21608

1dc7wp.jpg

>>21590
FUCK OFF STACY

Anonymous 21609

>>21590
I'd smile at you, anon. You're cute.
>>21602
From an anti-race-mixing point of view I can logically understand not wanting heteros to date interracially…but same sex too? That makes no sense.
t. Disgusting biracial though lel

Anonymous 21628

>>21609
>From an anti-race-mixing point of view I can logically understand not wanting heteros to date interracially
Yeah. From a retarded perspective, that post is logical.

Anonymous 21750

>>21590
you look nice anon. I always have people staring at me too and im not sure why, it makes me very uncomfortable because i feel like they're thinking about how much of a mess I am

Anonymous 21751

>>21361
Sometimes people are weird around people who don't look like them. It's not necessarily an ugly/freak thing.
For example, I have really light blonde hair. I get a lot of looks from Asians/Brown people because they're not as used to seeing it, but hick whites like myself dgaf.



images (2).jpeg

My dead crush Anonymous 7776[Reply]

When I was a depressed NEET a few years ago I started reading old literature to cope. I found a writer I really identified with and started reading about his life, too. After a while I started to dream about him, and was a little obsessed. I'd daydream about being born decades and decades ago when he was still young and alive, meet him, and we'd fall in love and be together. Sometimes when I was in worse mood I'd think about killing myself and meeting him in the afterlife kek.
I think I fell in love with "him" and this feeling lasted a long time until I broke free from neetdom.
I want to know if what I went through is common at all… Maybe it isn't and I am a freaky weirdo, but I want to know if anyone here has ever had any similar experience.
19 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 8109

relevant song (though it's about dead women)

Anonymous 21645


Anonymous 21649

>>7776
I've had this but with fictional characters. Anime characters. Two of them. I had constant fantasies about the first one for three years, since I was 12 until I turned 15 and found the other one. I've been with the other one for four years already… I spend a lot of time by myself so I talk to them… It's fun, I know my fantasies aren't real but they make me happy

Anonymous 21652

>>8005
Hold on OP, you haven't told us who the writer was

Anonymous 21659

>>21652
>replying to a post that is 7 months old



11daa36cb7cdbd0c6a…

Pressure to excel but I want to do something else Anonymous 17807[Reply]

Hi all, posting here rather than on a forum for anonymity.

For context, I'm currently a college senior at a top university in my country in Asia. Not gonna reveal too many details, but basically it's a school full of people that are wealthy, smart, or both.

There are lots of things happening in my life (young adulthood and graduation are transition periods after all) and for the most part I'm happy with where I currently am.

I am content with being average. although I am fine with being average, and I am currently contemplating to disinherit myself to become a monastic, I don't think my family or the people I'm surrounded would appreciate it.
I feel pressured to excel, and it does not even have to be an explicit, verbal thing. Because of my background (above), it is very easy to feel insecure when you're acquaintances with the children of businessmen, politicians, scholars, celebrities, artists, athletes, musicians, etc. It is easy to brush away insecurities regarding famous people, brushing off their beauty or glamour as 'photoshopped' and 'curated.' But I find it not so easy at all, in my case. When you go to class with actual models, national athletes, and teenagers that have start-up companies… even some of our country's presidents are alumni of our uni. It's frankly a surreal experience.
What makes it even more surreal is that seeing these people as acquaintances just going about their day, their day-to-day lives aren't that far of a stretch to the ones filtered and manicured in a social media profile. Another thing is that many of them are unaware of their privilege. While there are always those that are jerks about it, a lot of them are just so… "humble," or at the least, "innocent" about it? Real conversations I've had with my classmates on their experiences such as: 'oh i lived in 5 different countries growing up because my dad's a government official,' or 'yeah I placed on a national scholastic competition when I was younger. it was ok' or 'i do practice every week because i compete for the national team' etc. to name a few.
The thing is, they're so unassuming and nonchalant over their achievements and privilege you can't even hate them for it. The humility might just make one admire them even more.

I think I have some qualities that aren't bad at all, but I still can't help feeling inadequate by comparison to my (very skewed) social circle. I do not want to bring my friends down, buPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
9 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 17914

>>17912
Pinoys go all over the world and breed like bunnies, when the rich kids fuck up and can't get into murican/where-ever university, they fall back on the dual citizenship cheat and send their kids to the top filipino uni! I wouldn't belittle the top pinoy uni's kids. Like i wouldn't rank xiaxue above them.

Anonymous 17915

ZFJRUzY.jpg

>>17909
>>17911
>>17912
Just chiming in to mention Zhang Jingna, who started out as a hobby photographer on deviantART and now travels the world shooting fashion covers and celebrities, and she was an accomplished athlete before that. Not a household name or traditional celeb, but it's gotta count for something that she's a world-famous artist now.

Anonymous 17916

>>17915
She ever wrote about her classmates in art school shitting on her because she was often out of school to do air rifle, but her work was graded better than the rest
And isn't she based in new york now anyway? Or anywhere but singapore

>tfw too young to have gone to a meetup with zemotion

I still wish i helped her scatter the petals or something when she did those victorian maiden shoots. By the time i joined the comm even her friends were gone

OP 21481

63267c57ef7d54caad…

Hi all, sorry for necro-ing this thread. I wrote a reply a month ago but the browser seems to have reloaded or something and it didn't save. sorry!! I read the earlier replies and thank you for the advice.

>>17894
Thank you. I know people like that too. People that 'peaked' in high school (or earlier) but then end up dropping out of uni because of depression/other issues. Whenever I see those coeds of mine I can't help but feel a bit sad because they weren't able to make use of their full potential.
Will definitely look into Blue Zones as places I can build my future hermitage hahaha

>>17899
Yes I'm really just bearing with it as long as I can lol. I really hope I "learn" to love the career path my major leads to - as much as I want to live rural I need the money for my family.

>I also feel very inadequate in comparison to my colleagues at college, which isn't half as prestigious as yours, but sometimes I just realize how lucky I am to be among such smart people and that being around them will help me grow, too.

it's a good perspective :) it really is a blessing to be around people that help you grow. Thank you

>>17907
Yeah it's really crazy. I grew up middle class too, but when I was in high school my dad made some good business deals and suddenly they could afford to send me to this expensive uni. It was really a culture shock. The stereotype that the rich are 'detached' from how middle and lower classes live isn't a stereotype AT ALL.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 21653

>>21481
Glad to see you live, op



Belt.jpg

Self harm general Anonymous 11340[Reply]

Anyone else self harm(ed)?
>Why
>How
>Advice
>Have you ever been caught?
>Do you want to be caught?
>Do you try to leave scars?
55 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 20664

cut my forehead (covered by bangs) and eyelids today. nothing tells me to do this. I choose to do it. I hate being such a wretched creature. I secretly hope that I'll be able to gain enough courage to slash my face up. It's an idiotic though, though, and I don't think I'd actually go through with it. I'm just so stupid.

Anonymous 20688

does anyone else self harm by self sabotage or by destroying relationships and drug abuse?

i dont see enough spoken about about alternative ways that people self harm, especially wrt their relationships

Anonymous 21278

>>11340
Anyone else self harm(ed)?
Me
>Why
Sometimes I feel very very sad and hurting myself replaces emotional pain with physical pain. Other times I do it to punish myself. On occasions I just lose control because something triggers me
>How
Uhhh I started cutting my wrists, then after watching Fight Club (lol) I started punching myself. I also scratch my arms. When I feel sad. It's more painful than cutting because the next day it still hurts (forgot the exact word in english)
>Advice
Uhhhh don't do it? Punch a pillow. Cry. Hug a pillow. Just don't do it it's kinda dumb but it helps me
>Have you ever been caught?
Yeah, last year I had an episode and cut too deep so my mom had to take me to the hospital and I got nine stitches. I have lots of scars but she doesn't care. I'm glad I don't have to live with her anymore since I turned 18
>Do you want to be caught?
By someone who cares? Yes. If I had someone I could trust I'd stop. But I don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon. It's not like I do it everyday, it's not a habit
>Do you try to leave scars?
Uhhh I guess?

Anonymous 21643

p061vxcq.jpg

>Why
I'm scared all the time and feel like absolute shit. I do a lot of things that I don't really understand. I have told myself that I deserve it. Also turning psychological pain in real pain.
>How
I cut myself with the razors I took from shaving blade I broke. Used to do it on my right arm, not too deep but a lot of them. Now I do it on the shoulders and chest, easier to conceal.
>Advice
Don't. If you are really going to I can't stop you, I know that. Be careful with the strength you apply, things can get dangerous really easily. Clean the razors, an infection like that is not easy to explain.
>Have you ever been caught?
Yes, one time when I was a teen I burnt my skin with friction and a nail. First time I had ever self harmed and actually it was pretty big. It got really nasty and had to get help.
>Do you want to be caught?
No, I'm ashamed for doing this. I have told two friends, they don't know I keep doing it.
>Do you try to leave scars?
I don't think that I try, but I have some… I haven't taken out my shirt in public for more than a year.

Anonymous 21647

1548042449240.jpg

>>11340
>Why
I started again because the reality of workplace hit me twice as hard as usual. I came back to my work after a month's absence. I didn't ask for this. It's other people's fault I'm who I am. In this place between doing something with life and killing myself. I just go to sleep after work and wake up next day. Smoking and drinking is the only hobby that doesn't take any effort. I wish it was possible to go either way.
>How
Smoking and drinking. Attractive and successful people do it so why can't I?
>Advice
If you were bullied kid from pathological family who can't even make people chat with you, just stop trying.
>Have you ever been caught?
No. And I'd rather not let my family know about it.
>Do you want to be caught?
Hella no. I'm not an attentionwhore.
>Do you try to leave scars?
On my lungs and liver? Sure do.

This is so cringy.



1502779337425s.jpg

Anonymous 21635[Reply]

Okay, so I'm going to attend a uni party this Saturday in a house. I'm in love with this dude for like a year so I thought that if I meet new boys at this party I might get over him. Any tips on being more friendly, making more friends and maybe finding a bf. I'm a tall, socially awkward female and I'm at least a 6/10. Any tips on how to act and what to wear in general?

Anonymous 21638

Have you tried asking him out? Most men are autistic and don't understand us.

Anonymous 21641

>>21638
He probably knows that I like him and he doesn't like me back believe me.

Anonymous 21644

>>21641
You should ask him; will give you a definitive answer

Anonymous 21646

>>21644
I agree. Even if he rejects you, at least it gives you some closure to move on.

Otherwise, you will continue to obsess. This guy lives rent-free in your head. You'll be liberated from that if he rejects you.



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