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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 09/13/2020


Anonymous 38304[Reply]

Has it happened to you?
178 posts and 31 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 49233

>normal people
Cool story, what do you mean by normal though?

Anonymous 49239

Yes, because it's actually known as the Lizardman's Constant, not sure where she took that from. It's sort of fascinating but not really studied. Polls tend to have all sorts of artifacts anyways.
You are exactly right. You have to look at how these polls are done, the people who reported the 4% were as far as I remember conducting a poll where they asked people several questions, one of which was "Is Obama a lizardman". Apparently it was conducted via phone calls, so you inherently get some people who didn't pay attention just take the first option and such.

Anonymous 49271

She's being bullied by tall.

Anonymous 51148

You're in the 1% of women that men would think twice about assaulting. Be grateful for that, anon. Also you have a very skewed perspective about how attraction works. If you were a blonde 5'6 bimbo the guys that find you attractive wouldn't have any less freaks or deviants. You would only have a bigger sample size. You can find someone that will think you're cute and not just fetishize you. You just have to go trough all the crap like the rest of us.

Anonymous 54114

Men love tall women, especially nowadays. Keep trying and you’ll be able to find the perfect guy who will accept you for who you are.


Anonymous 54078[Reply]

I can't take being fat anymore. I gained about 40 pounds a few years ago, was already overweight before. I hate living like this. I'm so disgusted with myself. My body doesn't feel like my own, I look in the mirror and I see something that doesn't look like me. I want to lose about 60 pounds and it feels fucking impossible. I want to hide from everyone. I feel like the only people who will love me are sick fetishists. I've been trying for 2 years straight and I've only lost 10 pounds. I'm starting to believe that keeping weight off is actually impossible like all the studies say.

Sorry this is a ramble, I just hate being in this body and I can't take it anymore. How can I lose weight? Does anyone else struggle with this? I don't want an eating disorder, if I gave it up I'd just gain back more.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 54080

I have been underweight, overweight, and everything in between because I went through phases of needing to radically change my appearance. I find losing weight incredibly easy and am puzzled when people say they struggle with it. What exactly is the problem? Are you a binge eater? Back when I needed to lose weight I would spend a few hours exercising every day and log the calories of everything I ate. As long as you put in effort, it’s impossible to fail.

Anonymous 54081

Food addiction.

Anonymous 54082

Part of it is probably ADHD, I'm big on short-term dopamine rushes and I am terrible at thinking ahead. I also compulsively pick at my skin, which I think I do for similar reasons despite wanting to stop.

Anonymous 54083

Being less fat won't end the pain of self hate. Its just a projection on things that seem visibly changeable and objectively improving your worth.
Stuff like:
>I dont feel thats my body.
>I dont think I can be loved.
Will possibly continue. Also think about someone who loves you for being not overweight. Thats the same thing. The fetish is just accepted in a broader range. Try to get your head and self perception straight before you start with changing your weight to a healthy amount. Otherwise improvements on your body (and health) will always just be superficial substitutes for your mental health that continues to degrade.

Anonymous 54084


Anonymous 53040[Reply]

My absolute best internet friend of 5 years has semi-regular panic attacks because of their shit living conditions, and I don't know the proper way to make them feel even slightly better since i've never had a panic attack myself.
So to those who have them, what could someone do to make you feel better?
I've never been good at consoling people in a way that doesn't sound fake or condesending to my own ears, but i'm willing to try almost anything to help him since he's done so much for me.

Anonymous 53041

I have two internet friends who get anxiety attacks often. They’re used to it and it won’t kill them. Just tell them to breathe and let them know you’re there. Not much else you can do.

Anonymous 53044

So I should just let him ride it out, and let him know i'll be there if he wants to talk?
That's what I usually do, but it feels like that's kinda leaving him to the wolves..
Not that I want to push the envelope and make him uncomfortable or anything, but is there anything more than I can do than offer my time in the future?

Anonymous 53050

you’re not his therapist. all you can do is be there for him. anything more and the relationship is unbalanced. i’ve had panic attacks, i don’t want to be bothered during them. i ride it out, and i’m fine later. if later he wants to talk about what was upsetting him, i’d hear him out, but otherwise? just leave him be

Anonymous 53051

Thank you for your advice, it means a lot.
Knowing that i'm not just neglecting a friend when theyre suffering lifts a weight off my shoulders.
I'll keep doing what i've been doing. Thanks again

schreiender Vogel.…

You will never have a bf Anonymous 52339[Reply]

>who doesn't watch porn
>who doesn't have at least some harmful fetishes like anal or worse
>who takes brushing his teeth and hygiene seriously
>who has goals in life
>and who has the basic discipline to work on them
>who has the finances to support a potential family
>who is emotionally available
>who will take an active interest in you and actively plans things for your relationship
>and who is taller than you, at least somewhat handsome and has a healthy body and lifestyle

Never ever!
73 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 52962

It's definitely a porn/internet phenomenon. Like anon references old couples in decades of marriage who "spice it up in the bedroom" (which usually involves some pretty tame shit), and then she's bored of sex where she's not getting "kneed in the stomach" 1-2 year relationships? Girls' gonna need to get fucking murdered to get off by the end of this year at the rate she's going. I'm not against couples exploring things if it's respectful and there is mutual enjoyment, but rapidly escalating physical extremes seems like a bad very idea if you don't want to fuck up your ability to enjoy sex at all. There's a lot of variety that can be had within "normal" sex, but that's too vanilla and boring to explore for them so they go straight to hardcore physical abuse for some reason.

Anonymous 53032

This vocaroo might just be the only good thing that came out of /lgbt/.

Anonymous 53033

unironically yes, who the fuck are you to tell them they cant do as they please with THEIR own bodies?
as stated before there is literally nothing wrong with getting your rocks or clam off regardless how its done in a consenting environment. but please be like the other retard and try to take that to extremes, feign ignorance as to what youre deliberately doing in a vain attempt to show the faults of someone elses preferences like it actually fucking matters, and further play dumb when called out on doing exactly that
kys, both of you

Anonymous 53035


>Work hard for a bf that’s working hard for you.
>Hard work for the man is brushing his teeth everyday and going to his job like a normal person.
>The woman needs to consent to being assaulted for his sexual pleasure or she is boring.

Anonymous 53038

>ur bad and should dump ur bf
>no ur bad and should dump UR bf
glad we had a good discussion today, I'm sure everyones worldview has changed


friendless feels Anonymous 7474[Reply]

the title says it all.

i ended up scrolling through the account of someone a few years younger than me and saw posts like pic related…just people (kids i guess) having fun with their friends and it made me sad because i never got to have that ):

can anyone relate?
also, general friendless anon thread.
284 posts and 56 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 52931

I only have one friend and she’s my 82 year old next door neighbor.

Anonymous 52933

kind of based
old women are really cool

Anonymous 52934

My job is 80% talking to old people and they're much more pleasant and jovial than the younger ones

Anonymous 52937


Well. I'd also be happy if I was retired.

Anonymous 52969

Yeah, she’s awesome. But kinda exhausting at times. But that’s just cause of age difference, language barriers (English isn’t her first language) and she’s an extrovert while I’m an introvert lol it works out though. She’s so cute


interracial/interculture dating Anonymous 52837[Reply]

whats the consensus on dating brown boys /feels/ ?

this south asian guy started working with me recently and we get along pretty well. pic unrelated hes cute and i was thinking of asking him out

have any of you anons been with a south asian before? i know im generalising, he grew up here but im worried there might still be a lot of culture clash. what am i getting into?
9 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 52897

in south asian cultures, mothers dote on their sons unconditionally, and prefer them over their daughters. thus, the sons grow up to be stunted manchildren that simply want another mother to baby them for the rest of their lives.

Anonymous 52898

i don't believe pakistani's have 'castes' unless you're talking about people who are from the poorer parts of the country. that's mostly a thing associated with hinduism.

Anonymous 52903

They are less likely to hate you but if they do it'd be the same. There are a lot of western families that are like that too, with monster matriarchs and patriarchs that try to rule everyone else in the family with an iron grip, and they all go along with it because that's how they were indoctrinated. There's way too many stories of women being mistreated by their in-laws and the husband not sticking up for her and telling her to shut up because "they're family"

Anonymous 52929

>pakistani's have 'castes' unless you're talking about people who are from the poorer parts of the country. that's mostly a thing associated with hinduism.
You know nothing.

Anonymous 52930

i am pakistani. ive never heard of such a thing.


Misunderstood Him Asking Me Out Anonymous 52542[Reply]

There is this guy I've been talking to casually at work (very recent) and out of the blue, he asked me if I wanted to hang out with him. I dodged the question. We chatted for a while and I forgot to reply to him and apparently he was waiting for me and he's like so how are you going to make it up to me? He would also constantly reply to every single status of mine.

I felt like he was being flirtaous and I thought he was asking me out for a date or something earlier and I said "I barely know you. It's too fast. Maybe somewhen in the future?". He then was visibly confused and asked me back "wtf, what? You must be mistaken. I didn't mean it in that way,".

It's something small but I feel really embarrassed. It kinda reinforce the idea that no one really wants me as I do have a history of toxic dating and very few confessions from guys.

Any advice or words of comfort would be appreciated.

Anonymous 52543

he prob just got embarrassed that you rejected him and tried to spin it to make you look bad lol

Anonymous 52545

Some people just wanna make friends with co-workers. If he said he didn’t mean it that way he probably didn’t. Cause she gave an open ended response of “maybe in the future.” I think if he actually was asking for a date he would take this as a positive sign rather than backtracking.

Anonymous 52844

>get showered with attention by a guy irl and on social media
>OUT OF THE BLUE he asks to spend time with you outside the work place
somewhat funny but it gets better.

>I felt like he was being flirtaous and I thought he was asking me out for a date or something earlier and I said "I barely know you. It's too fast. Maybe somewhen in the future?"

wanted to get to know him better before you agree to get to know him better? just say no.

>I think if he actually was asking for a date he would take this as a positive sign rather than backtracking.
no guarantees but yeah, if you tell him "maybe later" that means "try again". you don't get rid of guys by telling them to keep trying.


Anonymous 52600[Reply]

How do I subtly get people to do this for me?
6 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 52629

Everyone else has already said it but this is incredibly autistic advice. If you're always the one reaching out then yeah try stopping to see if they reach out on their own, but if you're just insecure about your friendships and trying to get validation, then don't do this as it will cause the contact to dwindle down naturally since both of you will think the other isn't interested. Basically don't sabotage yourself by doing this, it sends a misleading signal that acts as a self fulfilling prophecy.

OP I used to be like you and to a degree I still am and all I can say is that getting older helped me deal with it better. Insecurity really wrecks all kinds of relationships and it's better to face it than to expect your partner to keep repeating the same phrases back at you so you can tune out the anxiety for a bit.

>As a general tip, I try be nice to everyone, regardless of how they feel towards me. When I reflect on daily interactions and think I've been unjustly unkind, I make an effort to be nice to that person the next time I see them.

Anon I wish I had more chill like you a few years ago, I burned a few bridges that didn't require a clean break but I was too proud and too guarded. Now I think it would be nice to not have parted ways on such a clean break because it's always good to know people, both for companionship and for practical purposes, it's hard to walk back from cutting ties while "being busy"/"dealing with stuff" cools things down and leaves room for plausible deniability. You can even get away with ghosting (although you shouldn't).

Another reason not to burn bridges is that you don't want to end up feeling too awkward in spaces you might share with that person. You might end up sharing a friend of a friend or something and feel awkward going to their birthday party. You end up feeling like the place you associate with that person, like their town or their neighborhood depending on how close they are, is haunted and you feel like you're on enemy territory.

Anonymous 52632

>tfw still convinced friend hates me even if he has been the one to initiate contact for the past ~4 months
Doesn't work, you'll never be satisfied. My brain just moved the goalposts to "he only contacts me out of pity, but dislikes me in secret"

Anonymous 52652

This. "They're only messaging because they're bored"

Anonymous 52770

There is no reason to be subtle about it. There is no "trick" to figuring this out like people in this thread are trying to make it out. Just fucking ask them. If they truly like you, it won't bother them that you have to ask. In my opinion, a good relationship is one where you can be open and honest about your thoughts and feelings at pretty much any time and not have to worry that your partner will hate you for it.

Just ask them. I used to have anxiety and paranoia like this too, even though I consciously knew it was stupid to think like that, but I would ask my bf about it and he would re-assure me every single time. Some people might not be as lucky but I really believe if they aren't ok with it then maybe they don't like you as much as you want.

Anonymous 52826

>There is no "trick" to figuring this out like people in this thread are trying to make it out. Just fucking ask them. If they truly like you, it won't bother them that you have to ask.

This. As >>52601 said, "Hey, I just need some reassurance that you still like me.” is enough, succinct and honest. Someone that gives a shit about you won't be bothered, and if they already know that you're the anxious or fearful type then they'll be happier that you spoke up so they could reassure you instead of avoiding them or acting funny.


I would like to propose an idea Anonymous 48279[Reply]

I want to start an internet addiction support group. Obviously don't want to post on 4chan about it because of all the moids that would join, but an all-female discord server about it would be a nice idea I think. I don't really know how it would function or how discord servers even work, so I'm not very qualified.

I think it's safe to say a lot of the people who still use image boards have some level of internet addiction. What do you guys think? Would you join? How would it work?
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 52775

i think itd be nice, my academic life has been really affected by this

Anonymous 52776

Does a tiger in a cage have a pacing addiction? Or do we all compulsively use the internet because we cannot afford to do anything else? I would love to travel or go museums or keep a saltwater aquarium. But those all cost money and I have none.

Anonymous 52781

I think the term is used more for people who have other things to do, like academics or career goals to work towards, but who procrastinate by using the imageboards or social media sites. Not so much people who just use it to pass time when bored.

Anonymous 52804

This same logic could be applied to people that just live in their house and do meth all day.
>well they have nothing better to do except be bored so it's not really an addiction

It's an addiction if you don't like how it's effecting your life and how it's effecting your time.

Anonymous 52805

I don't think that's really the same thing.
Internet isn't physically addictive, you brain won't literally stop working if you miss a dose like you do with hard drugs. And it's entirely possible to function fine during the workday and then come home and just spend your free time online.
You can't just do meth all day and still function fine in society. Which is why drug addicts tend to be homeless, not just living in their house as you claimed.
But I do see your point that internet can be considered an addiction any time it's effecting you negatively, even if you do only use it in your free time.


Goals Anonymous 52726[Reply]

Do you have goals? Everyone I know has these "goals" they must achieve in their lives before a certain age, while I don't even understand the rationale behind it. I mean, I'm content with watch life just passing by and do things as they come.

Anonymous 52728

You don’t have any long term desires or anything?

Anonymous 52730

Not really. If something, I have only "negative" desires: I want certain situations to never happen to me, but that's it. I don't think I have anything specific to look for.

Anonymous 52732

I want to finish the stories I'm working on. That is pretty much what's keeping me here.

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