/feels/ - Advice & Venting

pretty much the same thing happened to me OP
>borrow bf's laptop to send an email and fuck around on tumblr, porn pops up as suggested link
>laugh but don't bring it up or say anything
>i don't watch porn but i realize it's a thing most other people do, so whatever
>lots of time passes
>ask bf how much he jerks off
>he deflects the question, looks uncomfortable, "o-only when i'm bored"
>go through his browser's history and this fucker watches porn almost every day
>it's all mostly JAV or costhots/stolen patreon lewd upload sites

why'd he lie to me…hurts my feelings…

>>20800
Come on! We're on an anonymous imageboard. What did you expect? Normal people or something? Lol.
>>20797
>>20819
So you're saying here that which chart is wrong? Male, female or both? Just because proportions are wrong doesn't mean the whole idea is wrong. Which sex have more narcissists on a high horses?
Also theoretically this chart is right. If majority of women is average, then they would rate men mostly as below average. If most of men are bottom feeders then they wouldn't rate majority of women as below average; they'd rate them as good looking because beggars can't be choosers.
>>20016
I'd be more worried about him not saving all his cummies for me than about his preferences.

>>20016
I agree with that post

>>20964
>>this fucker watches porn almost every day
How close are you to him? I think this might be a cry for help.

>>20964
maybe he doesn't want his cool gf to know he's a loser that watches porn. (not trying to call him a loser, just that this may be how he thinks) i'm sure you have things about yourself that you'd rather he not know, so no shame in that.

also do you guys share a laptop or something? if not, you snooping through his pc's history is sort of. uncomfortable.

+ do you guys have sex often? do you guys enjoy having sex with one another?
maybe y'all just need to link up more, & he'll stop watching so much porn. like if it seriously bothers you

Are you still together, OP?

Internet long distance relationships are extremely difficult. Every one that I've been in has made me a real mess afterwards. I just feel lonely and isolated the whole time, craving genuine physical affection that I can feel. But in real life I'm a mess, too, and get really scared about having sex with anyone.

Loving someone that's an ocean away was absolutely paralyzing and I've taken every step to avoid ever falling in love on the internet again.

I loved someone I met on old school RuneScape while I was in college. We spent so much time together over a 4 month period. Like constant 8-14 hour sessions just talking and playing the game together. But it didn't end so well. the emotional disparity and lack of physical affection takes its toll mentally.

I remember feeling the highest highs and the lowest lows while being with them. Greatest times of my life, but I was legit depressed for like 6 months after it ended.

It all feels like a dream now. Love is in strange places, but at the end of the day you have to be careful where you look for it. Fuck edating

>>20919
>Love is in strange places, but at the end of the day you have to be careful where you look for it. Fuck edating

So well put, and too true. Dating someone on the other side of the world is an isolating experience. A timezone difference of 7 to 16 hours. Rarely being on the same wavelength because when you're getting up, he's going to bed, or when it's morning for you it's late afternoon for him. The knowledge that you'll probably never meet. The extreme levels of trust it takes to believe he isn't just stringing you along as a side thing online while talking to other girls at the exact same time, or seeing someone else in real life.

>I was legit depressed for like 6 months after it ended.
Yup. Same here. I've never felt that strongly for anyone in my life, but I still wouldn't recommend it to anyone. The lack of physicality, especially when others in your life are dating or having children, is soul-crushing. You want so badly to do it, too, but they're not there and you don't even know if they truly reciprocate your feelings because everything's done online, pushed through a filter. I've done it twice and each time gave me some brilliant highs, always followed by the lowest lows in my life. Against my better judgment, I tried a third with someone I met recently. I really like him. He's sweet and makes me happy, but he's so far away, and it hurts so much already.

Perhaps I am just selfish, or maybe it's my low self esteem… but I want to talk to him and know that I have his undivided attention. I don't want to wonder if he's talking to someone else at the same time, or browsing youtube while we're talking. I want to visit and cuddle on his couch and hold him. Actually hold him. I want to kiss and hold hands and cuddle and be intimate, and I can't do any of that. It's crushing. I feel lonelier while I'm in the relationship than I do when I'm single. Every good moment is so bittersweet, and just seeing couples on the street makes me want to burst into tears on the spot. Couple that with the constant not-knowing, the huge trust requirement, the moments when you message him and he takes forever to respond, and I just can't handle it. I get obsessive and become this clingy, jealous person.

I'd rather be alone than deal with that. I was fine being alone bePost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>20927
Feeling alone in a relationship is never fun, and isn't right!

I get the whole clingyness thing. There's just hardly any verification to support what trust you have. Instincts are kicking in and screaming at you because this LDR thing is all new (from an evolutionary/instinctive point of view) .

At the end of the day your mental health comes first and you're the sole guardian of it. do what you must to bring yourself to a better place. My edating past was difficult to overcome but we all need to do it or we'll end up old and alone. because LDRs that started online fail 99 times out of 100 anyways.

my strategy towards reforming is being happy with myself, loving myself, and leading a good life. why do I need a partner across the ocean in order to do that?

>>20956
My, my.
You know you have to be 18+ to post here, right?

>>20959
You know that cartoon anime isn't real right?

>>20959
another clone with the dog pic

>>20959
Go choke on a cock(YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US)

>>20956
Yep, it's bait. Knew it.

yeah, its common.
Found out I'm bi one day with a close friend after some drinking.
Helped me be introspective too

>>17852
Always appreciate a good earthbound reference

>>17852
how is any of that cringe

>>20814
this post just sent me to 2014 tumblr and i don't like it

>>20504
>Guys will add anyone because they know no matter who they add, they aren't going to have 50 thirsty people bothering them
What about guys with low self-esteem who, if approached by a girl out of the blue and asked for their number, would immediately assume the girl must be a stacy, or have been dared by staceys, playing a cruel prank on him?
I just think it would be better to become acquaintances with him in public social situations first before attempting to initiate one-on-one contact, lest it seem too good to be true.

>>20506
Bear in mind that not everyone is a fit for everyone else. That story does sound unusual, but on the other hand I know that there are a lot of robots who would find such a direct, candid approach very refreshing. That's not to say it will necessarily work for this guy, but I don't think you need to feel like it's you who must radically change. Your pool of potential matches might be smaller than average, but it's still there if you don't mind having to spend more effort than average looking for it.

>>20506
There is a lot to break down here.
On your green text here is my highlight points for you, you treated the date as almost like a job interview or if this was some meeting through a dating agency. Quizzing someone on a date can be a bit weird, it's like they are on trial and you have an internal checklist that you are comparing the answers to, to see if they are worth anything. I will admit, even though I'm forward too, I wouldn't have said "and have romantic intentions" part. I would have left it as a date, the rest is implied. You're right, you have a bit less tact, but I'm seeing two different games going on here. You haven't figured out the happy medium of direct interaction but not EXTREMELY direct. You can take it to an extreme level.

With that said, with your question, I think you should try talking to him and say something simple like "I'd like to get to know you more! Do you have a way we can talk outside of school?" and just try to have a casual conversation with him on terms that might be less stressful for him. You're trying exceptionally hard to get this persons attention and I believe they either A. don't care, or B. don't notice. You just gotta go for it, because wasting a semester like this isn't good for you especially if you're just trying to figure out if he's into you or not.

>>20508
He's lost if he thinks like that. You are better off not interacting with people like that who assume every interaction with someone with the opposite sex is some high school grade shame prank. More often than not you will see highly sexist things come out eventually and probably thinks like an /r9k/ robot and will turn into a douche after gaining confidence that they are desirable.

>>20508
It would be really strange for him to think that specifically, I'm not Stacey-passing at all. Or even Becky-passing.
Not that I'm a frumplet, I just dress differently than most people where I live (think vintage inspired business casual) and wear glasses some days.
I can see him being nervous because I'm a girl, but assuming that it's a prank is really out there.
>>20510
>quizzing someone can be a bit weird
Oh no, I kind of pulled this with my first interaction with this boy, too. But didn't ask him on a date so it was probably even weirder. Fuck I'm bad at this.
Regardless I definitely don't intend for this nonsense to go on for the whole semester, I'll try to settle it within the week. Your advice sounds good, I'll go for it next time I can feasibly snag him for a conversation. But definitely before the weekend.
>>20509
tbf we really weren't a good fit, he's also quite social while I'm (evidently) not. It's for the best nothing happened there lol.
I'll try my best to be forward-but-not-too-forward.

>>20511
Best of luck to you, at least some of us won't be dying alone.

>>20407
Just let her like or date whoever whe wants retard lol

>>20426
She wasn't saying she can't date certain people.
She's saying it's bizarre criteria to focus on.
>Italian
>Jewish
>Irish

>completely separate in both genetics and cultures, right down to the average hair types

Like what? May as well just go with category:white_boy at that point lol.

>>20373
I'd find it strange if you were black or another race which is typically considered unattractive.

>>20338
I can't understand this opinion at all, not sure what you see in men like that. I'm interested to hear it though. Do you have light skin? It might be because of that.

>>20475
>>20338 here. I guess I have pretty light skin, it's olive since I'm half Native. I'm not sure it's an ~exotic~ attraction thing since I'd find super pale guys hot in that case too…which I don't.
It's just different aesthetic taste I guess. Although the same-race attraction thing is more conscious in that I have at least a small drive to not let us die out completely lol.

>>20476
Yeah if I looked like you I’d definitely be playing up the exotic angle and wouldn’t so much as look at black men blech. I understand wanting to preserve your heritage as a Native American though

>>20608
I don't.

>>20608
I'm guessing I never will. I'll leave guilt behind and leave guilt behind
Have you read Kafka? Forgiving, seeking redemption, are the same as blaming, and guilt will never find enough compensation.

One day I'll embrace myself. No forgiveness, no guilt.

>>20613
Loving oneself is an art we've forgotten. Not feverish self infatuation, but a healthy relationship with yourself.

>>20608
what did you do OP?

I don't lmao. I wake up randomly in the middle of the night and think about shit I did wrong 20 years ago.

>>20708
nah. this place would become insufferable.

>>20708
"no"

>talking about how all woman are shitty
>true-ish
why hasn't anyone pointed this out yet i wonder

>>20719
ehhh, i see mostly tradfems/conservatives, tbh

>>20738
Have you looked at the trans thread? Almost every response is on the TERF side and the few who are sympathetic get shut down. Not that I disagree with the shutting down. I don't want trans"women" to feel comfortable posting here.

>>20676
kek, a likely story

>>20675
why your sisters career take and your brother in law not?

>>19497
Have you considered going to events/places where other rich people are? A general rule of thumb for dating is that the easiest away to avoid financial drama is to date within your class.

>>20728
She was in IT/programming and he was testing soil and water samples for a state agency. They had equal levels of education but there was money and advancement in one and not so much in the other.

>>19497
It's very rare that anyone hits on me

would you describe yourself as an atractive person?

>>20029
Very true.
The polar opposite is also very true, like >>20036 said.
Single motherhood is at around 70% in the African-American community, and they have the highest rates of homosexuality among the men, sometimes 8x that of Whites and Asians in the very same state.

This also doesn't mention the young girls who have to then grow up alongside these repressed homos and incels-in-training at school.

>>19955
No and I have baby fever. This post is making me sad.

I love children but I don't want to have kids. They would be better off borted than having an autistic mom with PTSD.

>>20677
Anecdotally I've seen that. Not in every case but fairly often.

Also I miss my mom. RIP.

>>20029
>>20036
from my personal observations, i find that black men with single mothers are very protective of their moms, but it doesn't translate to other women. hell, the men are continuing the cycle since single mother statistics are still high as fuck in the black community.