/feels/ - Advice & Venting

picrel is scary for some reason

you can be anonymous and have a public life. imagine if facebook turned out to be harvesting millions of data on information that you never shared, like your crushes, really personal info about your sexual preferences, your mental health struggles, like the stuff you'd put in a diary. that would just be wrong. except instead of facebook, it's sites like 4chan, and oh wait, they do possibly do stuff like that and have possibly done stuff like that, or at the very least have users who definitely do stuff like that. oh, and, some bait is used to politically entangle human beings who might just be having a shit day and someone spammed something that made them feel sick.

wrong. its just wrong. it was a lie.

now imagine if people could just be anonymous and grow out of sites normally, or maybe even make their own. this outsourcing of reality is wrong and sick. but people should be able to be as anonymous as they want.

baby trapping is de-anonymizing people really. i mean, if someone wants to be a public figure, that's their choice.

>>118692
Why is the sky absinthe green? That is so cool!

And yeah fuck condoms!
or don't fuck with condoms is what I mean

>>118690
I really want to start writing and sharing more but I am not sure if I could handle people knowing what I like more publicly. I am already embarassed to admit it even if it brings me joy.

i've started a bunch of accounts with cute artsy usernames and not posted on them because i have this fear.
women who put themselves out there are so brave.

i'm not able to get out very often due to physical and mental illnesses so the internet is the biggest resource for me to socialize and meet others. but i'm so paranoid about online anonymity that if i make accounts to share my art, interests, thoughts, etc the moment people actually start interacting i either nuke the accounts or change the usernames. its difficult. at a certain point i wonder what is more detrimental… me isolating myself so greatly or losing some anonymity online?

i work dealing with bank fraud so i see all sorts of shit completely mess up peoples lives… so it's hard to convince me that anonymity isn't worth it.

Im also scared to make a girl uncomfortable if I ask her out. When I get nervous my face goes blank and my voice gets monotone and I seem angry when Im actually so nervous I feel like I'm going to shit myself. I asked a girl out once and she said no and that's cool but I'm pretty sure she thought I hated her afterwards cause I always got so nervous that I seemed angry

>>110491
>>110496
Bullet dodged tbh why did he waste your time in the first place? He sounds like a jerk.

>>110496
Nah he's just gaslighting you op.
If he asked you to hang out alone and said the things he did it was just a date with plausible deniability.
It's a sign of low confidence and sneakiness on his part, not worth it. You'll find someone better.

>>110491
>twinks
I swear wtf is up with ‘straight’ men dating/sleeping with twinks and keeping it secret? Two of my exes cheated with twinks.

>>111083
Denial.

>>110521
Nine months later (whoops) you're so right I stopped being his friend a few months ago because it was a repetitive push and pull situation

>>114902
nta but can you elaborate your third point? i find it very interesting.

>>114982
nta but basically become a creep and seek non-creeps

>>114629
whoa anon. kind of cringe thread but it really sounds like you're being harassed by the same group of people over an unnecessarily long period of time.

>>119112
it's schizophrenia

>>114679
deserved tbh sorry

but this stuff really does happen, low empathy people who usually use the "4chan aesthetic" in their discord anorexic racist groups do this stuff

Just tell him? If he's smart, he'll understand.

I don't get it, if it feels like an actual, physical allergy, why wouldn't you tell him?
>Dude I can't breathe here.

He might even know what it is, it just doesn't bother him.

Part of it might depend on how different the two you're learning are, but a good method to build up daily vocabulary is to do journaling. Even if you're not feeling like doing much that day, just writing something like "I went to work" can help solidify the words and past tense for you.

>>119098
I thought Duolingo got rid of the forums? I stopped using it bc of that, which was part of their switch to using AI instead of native speakers. Other company decisions didn't help either.

>>119096
Start it sooner rather than later, don't put it off by trying to come up with a special plan for how to learn it perfectly. If I really buckled down and got into french ~2-4 years ago, like I said I wanted to, I probably would be at A2 already.

Use singing while reading the song lyrics to start learning. If you want you can start with finding Disney songs in the target language.

Feel free to use "advice for target language, in target language" YouTube videos. These are quite good even at a very low skill level.

If you're on Firefox and learning Chinese/Japanese use 10ten Japanese reader (you can even put this on your phone) or zhongwen ("the popular Chinese learning tool"). Don't worry, I avoided 10ten out of pride/ego for a long time but it really doesn't hinder, so long as your practicing via singing to written lyrics it only helps and doesn't hurt.


Some Pronunciation Tips
Read the "<language> phonology" page on Wikipedia to learn how to pronounce it well. Don't worship the "closest English approximations" only use these as a jumping off point, compare the "target sound" for example Chinese "p" to your approximate sound, for example English "p" (use the English phonology Wikipedia page and the <target language> phonology wiki page).

Sometimes articles/books give closest approximation sounds which are… just wrong. Ignore idiots who try and claim the "e" sound in languages like Japanese/Spanish are pronounced like… "ay". It's not.

Also if you're doing pinyin (mandarin Chinese) I came up with a … mnemonic sort of thing to remember how to learn all the "sh/ch/j" sounds. The ones with the tongue up the back similar to Japanese sh sounds, (it's more "kawaii") all use single letter consonant symbols, q, j and x. The ones with the tongue lower down and less kawaii all have 2 consonant symbols, (the second of which is an h), so sh, zh and ch.

>>110541
Fuck yes I love this archetype, sucks that its both rare and usually straight (+catered to moids). Praying for us all to find the hikki NEET gf of our dreams

These girls are the best in theory but the few that exist are 1) too mentally ill to handle 2) straight or 3) not interested in dating. I'm okay with the last two but they're often all three and while i can stand not having someone as long as i can admire them from afar, i'm just not into crazy people. The dream would be a hikkineet celibate woman who is also somehow mentally stable but it would take a miracle

>>117983
Woww I think this is the only time I've ever seen anyone show any sort of interest for any of my features, sadly it will also be the last time.

>>110541
Unfortunately it feels like they are all either latina or trans.

>>117993
Anon, I'm sorry I never contacted you. I wanted to, but I know my family would never approve of us. I hope you can be happy with a fat and hairy hikki gf one day. I wish it could have been with me.

And I don't want to be THAT person buuut….

you are worth enough as a person!! "Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you?" (1 Corinthians 3:16)
"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God? You are not your own;" (1 Corinthians 6:19)

You are worth it and you are loved.

maybe the moids are still desperate enough to date you?
you don't have to be perfect, just barely good enough.

its funny that poor quality men and women never think this but average women do often. you're probably just average but if you really feel down, just work on yourself.

i will date u nona

Work step by step to be th gf your ideal bf needs, ignore everybody else

>>118891
Thanks, Nona! The next promotion I'm in line for is a huge step up, so it will take a while to get there. But I'm excited to grow into a person suitable for the role.

The funny thing is my job doesn't stress me out at all, I enjoy it most of the time, I work no over time, and I often spend an hour or more on reddit every day…

>>118940
You’re in every thread and all of your posts are projection. You’re calling this person a “conflict robot” but instead of staying on topic you replied to someone with the intention of generating controversy. And when someone doesn’t take your shit you get on defensive mode.
You’re weird, schizophrenic and should fuck off from here.

I am very happy right now, because God is good. I hope you nonas are all doing well. I am glad I get to read all these positive posts here

I took responsibility for myself and called the rehabilitation center I was referred to. Now I have an appointment for next month. I'm pretty damn proud of myself even though objectively I know it's just an every day adult task.

>>119060
That is so great to hear! Good that you did that

>>117957
honestly, there are a ton of factors to consider.

1. Do you have any pain? Be careful when doing any sort of exercise if you suffer from pain that isn't being managed and mitigated via rehab and the like.

2. If you don't have any pain, consider what it is you want. Basic health and fitness? Consider what the means to you first. For some people, that means being able to do at least 5 pullups. If that appeals to you, you may look for a nearby park with monkey bars and focus on the progressions there.

3. Don't fall for the bodyweight fitness trap that is so prevalent in fitness. It may seem like a great idea to start with bodyweight training as you don't require any equipment except maybe a pullup bar (if you want to do pullups at home), but frankly speaking, most people are simply too weak to even start with bodyweight training either due to pain or muscular imbalances caused by years of physical neglect and abuse.

4. Nutrition is the most important thing for losing weight.

5. Do not rely on fitness to fix your life, focus on accomplishing goals in the realm of fitness.

>>118140
lame

>>118150
gay

>>117957
Diet is the most important thing, as others have said already. You're carrying a lot of bodyweight, which makes a lot of exercise far harder. And if the weight in any exercise is too much, priority is to reduce it rather than push through and risk injury.

If you're the kind of person who benefits from structures and a plan to follow, then focusing on macronutrients and calories are your best bet. Here's a rough guide for calculating what yours should be: https://www.aworkoutroutine.com/how-to-calculate-macros/

If that's too much and you'd rather wing it, then just work on cutting out snacks and eating more protein. Its important even if you're not actively working out.

If you can eat better and lose weight, it'll have knock on effects in so many ways, including helping loneliness. Try to focus on that. You want to go farther afield and find greenery, get used to a gym, go to hobby groups and meet people- your body is your friend in all of this. It'll get you where you need to go faithfully if you treat it right.

And lastly, if you're in a city, maybe there's weight loss groups you can join. Nothing to help cut through social etiquette and get to honest friendship more than a sincerely shared goal and struggle.

You can do it. Eat better and you'll have no choice but to lose weight. Everything else you want will be more attainable for it. Good luck

I really enjoy going for a walk in the mornings. I get my favorite coffee and walk around for a while sometimes. I live in a big city too and its kinda boring cause its always the same but recently a new store has opened up close to me so I go there sometimes and look to see if they have new hello kitty things. You could try going on walks while listening to audiobooks also :)