/feels/ - Advice & Venting
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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Update to rule #7: 08/17/2018

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Anonymous 16404[Reply]

Where do I go to get an e-bf who's pure like me?

All I see are frat boys who just want to "chill".(YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US)
29 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 16547

>>16539
Human psychology is very much more complicated than just sex urges. Unlike r9k population would like to believe, living in celibacy doesn't ensure higher productive output in the slightest. It may help you from being distracted but the drive itself usually comes from deeper complexes that can be revealed among other things through confrontation with your fetishes. Freud is outdated now, but he is famous exactly because he was the one to openly address this connection between sexual desires and inner psychological issues, if you are interest in the subject i suggest you start reading there instead of reading fucking self-help author who is talking out of his ass.

Anonymous 16548

>>16539
Also Leonardo Da Vinci was convicted of participating in sodomy and Einstin was an adulterer. Your cherrypicked examples of devout Christian scientists prove nothing.

Anonymous 16549

>>16547
And you believe that the r9k population doesn't masturbate?
First of all this idea is not from some self help author it is a very old fundamental idea from western occultism as well as Hindu beliefs.

And as for Freud he himself was a practised celibate.
“Freud held the opinion (based on personal experience and observation) that sexual activity was incompatible with the accomplishing of any great work. Since he felt that the great work of creating and establishing psychotherapy was his destiny, he told his wife that they could no longer engage in sexual relations. Indeed from about the age of forty until his death Freud was absolutely celibate "in order to sublimate the libido for creative purposes," according to his biographer Ernest Jones.”
Source: https://web.archive.org/web/20160203165235/http://www.wien-vienna.com/freud.php

>>16548
It was an accusation. There is no evidence it actually happened. There are always political enemies you know, all charges were dropped, someone may have wanted him dead. "In the (((20th century biographers))) made explicit reference to a probability that Leonardo was homosexual though others concluded that for much of his life he was celibate."

One of the few references that Leonardo made to sexuality in his notebooks states: "The act of procreation and anything that has any relation to it is so disgusting that human beings would soon die out if there were no pretty faces and sensuous dispositions."

Yeah no.

Anonymous 16553

>>16548
I'm very sure Einstein wasn't fapping or inside someone when he came up with his special theory of relativity. He preferred to be alone most of the time and was known to engage in very long periods of solitude. Also Einstein was hardly the greatest of geniuses and his well known theory isn't very original.
https://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/esp_einstein.htm
His accomplishments are always overly hyped by his community.

Anonymous 16640

>>16553
>I'm very sure Einstein wasn't fapping or inside someone when he came up with his special theory of relativity.
The fact you bothered making this point shows how unconvinced you are by what you're saying yourself



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Anonymous 16067[Reply]

i'm alone in my room, crying at 2am because my life is a mess. i met a guy on the internet 2 years ago, we started dating and he was being nice to me but then turned into an obnixious human-being. i really fell in love with him, i don't know why. i wasted the best years of my life. i was 16 when i first met him, and i decided to leave all of my friends behind, i only wanted to spend time with him. he told me he was depressed and didn't wanna go outside. which made sense, because i never really liked going outside either. i didn't like being social. this year was horrible. he would change his profile pic to a random cute girl, i think he was only doing that to make me jealous. but i didn't get jealous. i just felt really ugly. so i told him that he should stop doing that because we're in a relationship. (he knows i have self-esteem issues) he said i'm overreacting. then i said "yeah maybe you're right, after all it's just a profile picture" but then he did the same thing again. i felt like i was being used. then i found out that he talks about "cute girls" with his friends. which pissed me off. and i asked him why he was doing that, he said he loves me and not other girls. he was just talking about how "cute" they are. he said "cute girls exist too, you know" then i told him that if he does it again, i'll break up with him. but of course, he didn't give a fuck. he said he would change. (he didn't) the thing that pissed me off the most was when we were talking about religions, (i don't believe in god or anything, and he doesn't either) he said i would enjoy it if "muslim men" touched me. -i broke up with him after he said that- then we got back together because he apologised and said he didn't mean it, he was just "joking". whenever he gets mad he calls me bad names. last week, i was talking about the new hoop earrings i bought. he called me a whore and said "i can date multiple men if i want" because hoop earrings are for hoes. i fucking hate him so much. he told me he's sorry and that he's going to change. but i don't believe him. he said he's going to kill himself soon because he has no purpose in life. and he doesn't want to lose me. i feel so confused and i don't know what to do. i blocked him on discord and telegram. what else can i do? i just want to forget him but i can't. he was completely different when i met him. he would make me so happy, i remember feeling "butterflies" in my stomach, i thought he was the one. i guess i was wrong. my heart hurtsPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
10 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 16092

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>>16081
>no, we haven't met IRL
Gosh this really makes me wish I was 14 again. Maybe I'm a boomer after all

Anonymous 16123

forgot to mention that he liked cute asian women pics on twitter lol what a cunt. his profile pic is also a model. he would tell me not to talk to my friends just because theyre boys. thinking about this relationship makes me angry. i'm never going to e-date ever again.

Anonymous 16130

>>16067
>>16123
i get falling for someone online, a lot of people do that and if you don't have experience you can fall hopelessly in love with someone online.. but still, you sure did pick a braindead jerk. i'm almost impressed. this guy does care about you.. he cares about you just enough so that you'll waste your free time talking with him, so that you'll just take it when he picks on you, and so that he can sleep with you when you finally meet up (you don't even want to know how much pressure and degeneracy he will put on you in regards to this if you actually lived together). He does not love you, he may think he does but you walking away is him losing someone he can have some control over and he is finding that very upsetting. he's saying awful things to you and throwing all these sexual interests (that are not you) at your face, showing clearly that his values are shit and he doesn't care about your feelings. in his mind you are temporary, there's a girl he's chatting to somewhere that he'd rather be with, and if there's not, then he has the abstract idea of this girl (and her personality isn't part of it) and if she was around he'd drop you to go for her if she gave him the chance

Anonymous 16617

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>>16067
>he talks about "cute girls" with his friends
> i asked him why he was doing that, he said he loves me and not other girls
Why do boys believe this is a good answer? I fucking see it everywhere, and it irritates the hell out of me.

Anon, I'm sorry all this happened to you. He definitely doesn't deserve the love you gave him, especially after his refusal to change and the way he treated you. Maybe one day he'll realize how poorly he acted, but it doesn't seem like anytime soon.

Anonymous 16620

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NGL he sounds like a sociopath, no offense. You lost me on the Muslim bit, that's just multiple levels of problematic. Don't get roped into the apology shit. I'm 99% sure he's saying these things to get a rise out of you. You already blocked him on shit so I think you're on the home stretch. It's going to be hard but the longer you subject yourself to that kinda emotional abuse the longer you'll be unhappy. Don't waste any more time then you have to on someone like that.



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Self harm general Anonymous 11340[Reply]

Anyone else self harm(ed)?
>Why
>How
>Advice
>Have you ever been caught?
>Do you want to be caught?
>Do you try to leave scars?
50 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 15565

>>15563
fresh red lines =/= scars

retard

Anonymous 15566

>>15565
>fresh red lines =/= scars
so you don't even, or barely break skin? does a drop of blood burst forth and you immediately waddle over to the shower and rinse it off? keep your story straight

Anonymous 15567

>>15566
Any wound produced by a razor is a red line… a wound isn't a scar.

Scars can form whether someone tries to leave one or cuts without thinking about scars in mind. They weren't contradictory statements.

What are you trying to do here? Pwn the attention whore for personal intellectual points?

Anonymous 16602

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>>11340
I did it once when I was like 13, I was going through a weemo stage at the time (wanted to be a scene gamer girl but didn't know how hence 'wannabe emo'). My friends at the time used to SH and they'd talk about it a lot despite claiming not to do it if you asked them. I did it to try and fit in with them but also for attention, don't know why but I thought I'd be like a tragic heroine and all the boys would want me. Nobody found out because I only did it once but I never talked about it with my friends probably because deep down I knew it was just for attention.

Anonymous 16606

I self harm. Sometimes I feel so numb that cutting myself is the only thing That makes me feel alive. When I finish cutting myself I usually come out of my “episode” and immediately regret cutting. I have scars (that nobody seems to notice) I really wish somebody would notice and ask me if everything is okay but the one time somebody asked me if I was okay I pushed them away and yelled at them. On the inside I’m screaming for help but at this point it seems like I’m run on auto pilot.



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Self Defense & Security Anonymous 1387[Reply]

How do you keep yourselves safe? Post advice and tricks in this thread.
13 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 14717

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>>1387
do brazilian jiujitsu

Anonymous 14738

I know the general advice is to carry something but please don't carry anything illegal. In my country, carrying a weapon (even pepper spray) would get you into way more trouble than someone attacking you would get into. Look up the laws and don't risk it. It's much more important to be aware, to be able to de-escalate situations, to build up your physical strength and to be prepared than it is to carry a weapon that you might not even have time to take out. A lot of people feel safe with a weapon (and that's great if you do) but if you're untrained and have less strength than your attacker, it's going to be incredibly easy for them to take it off you and use it against you. Plus, like >>1393 said, we know most of our attackers and they prey on the fact that you know/trust them so they know damn well you're not going to pull out a weapon on them.

Ask yourself:
>Do I know what a dangerous situation looks like? If a guy had me on the ground with my legs spread open, would I know how to escape? If a guy was choking me, would I know how to remove his hands from my throat? If a guy had me in a headlock, how would I protect my larynx? Where are a man's most vulnerable parts (there are more than just the genitalia!)? Am I prepared to do anything to escape from a bad situation? How would my body react in a bad situation, would it freeze or would I know automatically what to do?

If you said no to any of the above, you need self-defense training. If someone grabs your throat, you won't have time to think about what to do while you're passing out. You need to have an immediate reaction and you can only achieve that through muscle memory. Go to a class with a bunch of friends, it's a real bonding experience. You can practice the moves together long after you've finished the class, to keep it fresh in your memory. I have gained so much confidence thanks to self defense classes and I recommend them to every woman I talk to. It's skills you'll have for life and while I can't carry a weapon in my country and I'm not some huge body-builder, I'm still confident that I can escape some of the most common grabs and I have no fear of a guy being on top of me because it's the most stupid and vulnerable position he could be in and I'm ready to cause him some pain :)

Anonymous 16497

Awareness is first and most important. Doesn't matter what kind of training or weaponry you have if you're not aware of the danger. (Horror movies always have the heavily armed would be hero who is killed when taken by surprise)
Be properly trained and armed. If it is legal in your location get a concealed firearm and train with it regularly. If unavailable get a chemical defense spray (there are legal UK variants) and train with it regularly. Take self defense courses and train your skills regularly.
Find a quality tactical flashlight. At least 300 lumens is required to disorient a person in daylight conditions.
Get a personal alarm app. Several apps will send your location to the police/emergency contact(s) with the quick press of a button.
This is just a quick blurb if you want more info contact me.
Source: College self defense instructor & law enforcement officer Kik: Wedge10101

Anonymous 16564

>>1387
learn a martial art like bjj, if you're not a woman of bigger stature and don't work out as much, you want to go for that especially, since it's the art of striking judo, judo being the passive practice of jujitsu which uses a bigger target's weight against them. Always remember you can go for weakspots like the jugular or the balls if things get serious, and run away if there's more than a few attackers. >>1389 this is the right idea here if you can manage it in your state, but it always helps to know you can bust out combat if you don't have a weapon.
>>1393
if the person is someone you know, more the reason to know how to physically strike and go for the weakspots since you're less likely to have weapons on you.

Anonymous 16584

My biggest fear is that if I try to fight back, the guy is just gonna punch the shit out of me until I'm barely conscious.



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Anonymous 11044[Reply]

Do straight guys ever act nice to girls when they’re NOT trying to get laid (or get something else from them, but usually it’s sex)? I even mean just being friendly, but especially when they’re being seriously helpful, kind, chatty, understanding etc. Can you have male friends who aren’t just looking for sex?

Conversely, have you ever been nice to someone (to whatever extent) just because you thought they were attractive? Is your personality different when dealing with attractive people?
119 posts and 15 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 16439

>>16427
I really am clueless, please explain to me what appears so dishonest and slithery about my posts?
I haven't said a single thing that I don't truly believe. I don't understand the anger.
Like I have had quite a few different people confront me or threaten to kill me on public transit when quietly talking to friends (about other various subjects not this one). I usually just change locations on the train.

Anonymous 16450

>>16425
Your sacrifice will not be forgotten, robot.

Anonymous 16458

>>16440
It's impossible to repair distrust with words. So it's up to you whether to believe what I have to say, these may sound like excuses but I want to try and reaffirm my honesty.

> conflating self improvement with my agenda

> without that to fuel your crap you pretty much got nothing
In my mind, degeneration is the opposite of improvement.
If you are avoiding degenerate activity you are improving yourself.
I believe that sex for any purpose other than procreation is degenerate.

> you don't care if it is [true]. It just happens to be

That interpretation was not what I intended to get across. But I really do care about the truth, I dislike lies.
Keeping silent when it suits me is another matter.
I was really just trying to avoid explaining my position on autogynephiliacs and just leave it at what I believe to be the root cause of most gender dysphoria in males.

> hidden agenda, ulterior motives

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 16510

>>16458
>Some women are very interested to hear what men truly think and feel.
Men's feelings and thoughts is what this world revolves around. You can be certain that no woman on this woman-only board wants to know what you think. We could go on literally any other website if that was the case.

Anonymous 16581

>>16510
pretty much, also there's so much naivety in thinking that men are going to post exactly how they feel to a female only board, they're going to act nice so they come off as likeable, etc, if I wanted to see them in their purest state I could go no further than 4chan to see the kind of filth that comes out of them when they're not trying to impress anyone.



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Typical boy troubles Anonymous 16343[Reply]

So there’s this guy that I really like because we are kinda like “two peas in a pod” (god that’s cringey but I can’t think of any other way to say that) We say the same jokes or he says whatever I was thinking and I just love talking to him and I talk with him 24/7. I think he may have feelings for me but in the past I’ve really messed up friendships by dating and I don’t want to push him out of my life. One of my best friends seems to have feelings for him and I’m worried that if I don’t make a move or something she’ll end up dating him. I feel kinda selfish for not wanting her to date him when I won’t but I can’t help but feel jealous when she flirts with him. Also, I don’t just want to boldly assume that he has feelings for me. Any advice? Should I just stick with being his friend?
14 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 16562

800px-BIKECATkungf…

>>16372
Try being direct, tell him you want him, but that you're afraid if you move things up a notch you'll ruin what you already have. Do it one on one and not with your friends otherwise it'll seem less sincere and if the other friend is around it might even seem like a personal attack on her.

If he doesn't feel for you that way and you decide not to take things more seriously, then nothing changes, and if you find yourself not feeling the same way then it'll turn out his love or perceived love was really important to the situation and you were being dishonest with yourself.

None of it is really bad in the end, but you'll never get anywhere if you don't act.

Anonymous 16563

>>16560
Asking guys out, or telling them that you like them ends in rejection or a date. I have friends who do this and it works out well for them occasionally, their current bf she got like this and has been with him for several years.

Besides she's friends with this guy, right? So it won't end as awkwardly as you think it would with a rando.

Anonymous 16566

>>16563
Asking people out is just better either way.

Anonymous 16570

>>16372
Be honest about your feelings and tell him how you feel.
If you want to be more then friends with him because you want to be close to him genuinely then you shouldn't let the opportunity go to waste by just staying friends. You shouldn't let the fear of losing someone stop you from trying because thats how it went in the past. Its possible he's mature enough to continue being your friend even if he doesn't like you back.

Anonymous 16571

>>16566
As long as you're not telling them you love them and more something like "I've really liked you for a long time" it'll get teh same result.



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Anonymous 13598[Reply]

Where do you even meet hot guys? Where do hot guys go? I literally know zero hot guys.
What do you miners do when you see a really attractive man? What would you do if one you didn’t know asked to borrow your pen or notes at uni or something?
11 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 13687

>Where do you even meet hot guys? Where do hot guys go?
As someone who tends to not to go outside often, I'm pretty much forced to meet guys in either school or tinder. There have yet to pique my interest in school so most of the time tinder is my go to.
Hot guys can be anywhere, so I think it's hard to say where they go. Also it would depend on your region as it does affect how many people you would meet. I go to school nearby a city and I met more guys there then in my small hometown.

>What do you miners do when you see a really attractive man?

With a man who is really attractive, I will act how I usually act towards others. Just basically live my life and do what I have to do.
However, if it is a man I find really attractive (pretty man or unconventionally attractive) I would often try to find a way to have a normal face to face conversation with them. So then we can get to know each other over time. If I exchanged numbers or on social media with them, I would still not message them unless if someone asks me to. It's pretty good since I'm not much of a good texter anyways.

Anonymous 13840

>>13598
Try climbing, brazilian jiu jitsu, the library.

Anonymous 14448

To everyone saying that you use tinder, do you not worry about the stigma attached?

Anonymous 16529

go to a gym, but go to a big one

Anonymous 16544

>>14448
Just say in your profile you're not looking for hookups, lots of people use it as a normal dating site. My friend found his fiancé there.



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I may be getting married soon Anonymous 13747[Reply]

I'm 28 years old. Recently my long-term boyfriend (of seven years) has been talking seriously about marriage. I'm really happy. I want to get married and have children and, Fuck it, I honestly with all my heart want a cute family with 2.5 children, a dog, and a picket fence.

We are both from different countries, and have been talking about where we want to have the religious ceremony. I have absolutely no friends to invite. I have one friend from high school whom I'd invite often ceremony was in my country, but she didn't invite me to her own wedding afew years ago (we fell out of touch, completely my own fault).

I'm drunk, but… I'm not the only one, right? There's even a movie or guys about this.

Also, I didn't get a proposition or anything (We've even lived together most if the time we've dated, but I think he's waiting to "ask" my dad. Both my parents live him as nf want us to get married and make babies so I know it won't be a problem).

Honestly, I guess I just want to share my excitement with someone–But like I said, I don't have any friends.
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 13781

Anon congratulations! I have similar dreams, specifically the whole 2 children and a dog thing. Everything is going to go great - don't stress about the wedding because all that matter is that you are going to be marrying the person you love.

Anonymous 13828

Congrats anon! I wouldn't worry about wedding details. Personally, I don't think having bridesmaids and all that stuff is important, but it depends on your values. Don't stress and just create the wedding you want. Not what others want

Anonymous 16501

You want 2.5 kids? Half a child?

Anonymous 16502

thunk.png

>>16501
Really makes you think.
OP is from the South and actually wants four kids?
It's a figure of speech, come on now

Anonymous 16523




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Anonymous 15342[Reply]

Is there such a thing as an attractive male virgin? I’d rather not have a bf who has been spoiled too much. However, I’d still like an attractive bf (like anyone else) and I’m afraid that any hot guy might’ve been a manwhore. Are there hot men who aren’t mentally ill who are still virgins? Particularly those who AREN’T that way because of religious reasons.
Or are all men sexual beasts who act on their constant urges?
104 posts and 11 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 16288

>>16285
Hooker or starter gf

Anonymous 16289

14322625012008.png

>>16288
Now this is podracing.
I'm sure a hooker would provide him just the right kind of sexual experience that'd make you happy.
>starter gf
I ain't even touching this.

Anonymous 16290

>>16285
I don't know why you're so up in arms about this. Male virgins have been lying about their virginity for centuries.

Anonymous 16295

I’m pretty sure my crush is a virgin. We’re both from very religious families. He’s handsome (at least I think so) and very nice. He’s only 21

Anonymous 16490

>>15714
please tell me what this painting is from



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Self Improvement Thread Anonymous 8197[Reply]

Post about how you want to improve yourself/your self improvement plans ITT and I will try and help you to the best of my ability, or just commiserate and talk if that's what you want.

Also general self improvement feels thread
21 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Hornet 8772

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>>8689
Hope things get better for you anon, I to went through a dark time in my life where I felt worthless, my first love cheated on me, friends left me, dropped out of college ect… I isolated myself for years before I finally moved on. I wont bore you with the whole story, but I finally moved on after realizing that the person I had become was not who I wanted to be. So dont worry anon, I know you can make it through whatever your going through right now and it will make you that much stronger, you most certainly can do it!!(no namefagging, please)

Anonymous 8773

Important:

KEEP. YOUR. BEDROOMS. TIDY.

Anonymous 8900

>>8773
Thanks Jordan.

Anonymous 16464

The year is almost over. Did you reach your goals?

I got a job in the field that I wanted and even got a promotion already. Looks like all the hard work payed off.

Anonymous 16465

>>16464
Fucking hellllll nice one anonette!!! I’m proud of you!

I’ve reached goals this year, apart from my fitness goals. I had a lame time with pneumonia. I won’t be fully ok until about February but I’m gonna go to the doctor this week and see if there’s anything I can do at the gym as I feel like a slug but my main thing is running; obviously my lungs and chest have had a bit of a beating so I don’t want to push it.

Otherwise everything else is already done or on track! Roll on next year~*



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