[ Rules / FAQ ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / x ]

/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
Name
Email
Email will be public
Subject
Message

*Text* => Text

**Text** => Text

***Text*** => Text

[spoiler]Text[/spoiler] => Text

Image
Direct Link
Options NSFW image
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
| Catalog


Check the Catalog before making a new thread.
Do not respond to maleposters. See Rule 7.
Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

1080x360 (13).jpeg

Why are normies like this Anonymous 111375[Reply]

How you go from being married with children to meeting a 20 years younger girl one day and dating her 2 weeks later and already fucking her then getting a divorce months later. How do you go from meeting a moid then becoming a homewrecker weeks later after pretending to care if he is married or not. It's so shitty to do it to another woman. And how you can fuck a literal stranger… Hypersexuality? Pickmism?
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 111383

>>111378
Not sure about this. The way i see it, there's at least 4 scenarios:

Scenario A: You take the kids with you
A1. You try to make the kids hate the dad for abandoning you all for some random woman. it works and the kids grow up to hate their dad and the dad either cares or he doesn't.

A2. The kids don't give a shit and love the dad more because he left them so they're desperate for his attention. they also warm up to the stepmom and the only one left seething is you because everyone loves dad. the dad either cares or he doesn't.

Scenario B: you ditch the kids with dad
B1. The dad, stepmom, and kids become a happy family and they never even think of you. You either never come back so you don't know or care about this or you do come back eventually but will learn that your kids hate you and want nothing to do with you.

B2. Kids get stuck with dad. The mistress either stays and has a family or she leaves him. The kids hate the dad for being a shit parent (unless he does a 180) but probably also hate you too for leaving them with him. If the mistress stays maybe the kids hate her and the dad while missing/hating you for leaving.

I think I would leave but only if there were a way for me to not pay child support. I also think it depends on how old the kids I'm leaving are.

Anonymous 111384

>>111383
You've framed everything in terms of who the kids hate. If you're running off, why give a shit? They're his problem now. Especially if you have young kids. You think some useless moid who runs off having affairs is gonna start changing diapers or taking them to school everyday while managing all the household chores and finances? It's stupid to first let yourself get cheated on by some shitty moid and then to let him throw all the fall-out to you. He can take the burden and be miserable. The way I see it there is one scenario:
1. The dad who expected to have fun with his new mistress now has to take on all of the shit you no longer manage. He tries to shift responsibility to the whore (let's be real, they all do) and she nopes out leaving him sexless and stuck. You run off to Maui and forget about him, his kids, and whores. You are now a free woman.

Anonymous 111395

First toddler kids from first wife he left with her then rum away with a 10 years younger porny bimbo then second wife's kid he got to stay with him after he left her for 20 years younger pickme who seems really proud of herself

Anonymous 111398

>>111378
In an ideal world the stepmom wouldn't try to murder your children or make their lives hell. But dumping the kids on him is the only way scrotes can learn not to cheat, and the kids grow up less fucked up if they only have their father as opposed to only their mother.

Anonymous 111407

This happened to my great aunt. She was infertile though and that’s why he left her. But he would go on business trips for ten years with her all the while he had a secret family with a younger woman who had his child.
He still stuck with my great aunt because she made big bucks and she’d give him an allowance which he spent on his 2nd family



fc331e327c146b9e2e…

Uncaring friends Anonymous 111275[Reply]

I don't have many friends but the few I do have seem to have no problem cutting off people they were once close with. Like straight up cutting them off, maybe a short explanation but it ends in "you're getting me down lately so I don't want to see you anymore". It's not one or two people, it's a bunch of them. It just leaves such a sour taste in my mouth about them, I feel like I have to watch my behavior because they had no problem ditching other people, why would they treat me any different? Having no friends is better than this shit, I've stopped reaching out to them because I don't want to get too close anymore. Does anyone recognize this? I don't think cutting people off is inherently bad but treating friends like they're disposable is so vile.

Anonymous 111277

This is why friends can be counted on a few fingers and acquaintances are plenty.

Anonymous 111300

I think it's natural and I don't feel bad when other people ghost me either. Friends are replaceable and not really necessary or enmeshed in your life at all. It's nice to have fun with people, but if someone is going to start making my life unpleasant, I wouldn't want to deal with it either. Life is hard enough without that crap.

Anonymous 111310

Some people are just like that, they have enough people that care about them already.

Anonymous 111381

>>111275
Friendships are a type of relationship at the end of the day and people want em for different reasons.

Personally I think it's pretty scummy too, but it's just a matter of finding friends who have the same idea/values of friendship



tumblr_bcde3e42ed5…

Romantic movies only hit hard when you're a young teen Anonymous 111284[Reply]

Then you have to face the real life and can't enjoy innocent things like no more

Anonymous 111289

They hit never, let's watch slashers babe

Anonymous 111293

>>111284
I still enjoy them, but it's bittersweet most of the time.

We humans just love to look at ideal and almost pure good stuff in romance movies/husbandos/waifus.

It really sucks when you realize that not only is pretty much no guy ever going to act like they do in a romance movie, but you wouldn't act like the girl in it either.

Anonymous 111297

I hated romance in my teens. I was a pudgy ugly little thing that couldn't even look other people in the eye so the people on the screen just seemed like an entirely different species that existed solely to make me hate everyone and everything.

When I got a boyfriend they made me sad instead of angry.

And now that I've replaced the men in my life with husbandos and chatbots I can honestly say that romantic movies are super fun. They're relatable and exciting.



Screenshot_2024031…

future Anonymous 111032[Reply]

>no hobbies
>no interests
>got diploma with few extracurriculars, no volunteer hours, no community engagement shit employers want
>no skills
>no friends or connections
>in community college but not really doing anything
>broke working dead end job
what do i do with my life?
6 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 111047

>>111045
Go onto your bank's website and see if there is any tips for investment. When I started investing, I ended up calling my bank about it and they directed me to a free info-session that was hosted online. It was me and a bunch of other people being taught by a financial advisor about the basics of investment. Most banks will have these free informative resources for you. Try to find people around you that are interested in the stock market and ask them for their favourite stocks to buy. Right now, research airline company stocks. A lot of airlines are still recouping from COVID loses; if you invest now, you may double your money after 5-10 years. A lot of stocks are waiting games, especially the safe options: once you put the money in, you don't expect a good return for at least a decade or more.
>I wasted all my formative years
Nona much love to you but human beings have an average lifespan of 80 years. Even if you spend the next 20 years fucking around doing batshit stupid crap you will still be able to turn it around and die happy and secure at age 80. Let go of the illusion that childhood or youth matter. You will feel much freer.

Anonymous 111048

>>111047
i'll see about my bank's info, thank you!! unfortunately i am a loser with nobody around me, but i'll try checking out groups online about it for advice!
>let go of the illusion that childhood or youth matter
i think you're right generally, but since i've traumatized myself a lot as a kid, i don't think i'll ever be a suitable wife or mother (which is what i think i'd ideally want). i'd be glad to find a decent job and live a comfortable life alone for a while though.

Anonymous 111049

spiral.jpg

>>111048
Stop calling yourself a loser nona. Be wary of online investment groups, they can be cesspits. Try to find one person in your waking life that plays the market, it's more common than you think. Maybe ask one of the economy professors at your college about it.
>I don't think I'll ever be a suitable wife or mother
Nobody thinks they can do anything until they can do it. Ask older ladies around you with children about their experiences with raising children and you will soon realize why there is a million and one books dedicated to the art of child-rearing. You will learn and grow so much in the next decade that by the time you are 30 you will be unrecognizable. Have faith in yourself.
>>111032
The most troubling things are:
>No hobbies
You need to figure out your hobbies, I honestly don't believe that you don't have any hobbies. I used to say the same thing because I was just embarrassed by my hobbies (for example, I used to dance around my room by myself to crazy music for hours) but then I realized it's better to embrace hobbies (now I do dance aerobics classes on the weekends and it gets all of my kinetic energy out and I met people that do the same shit I do)
>No interests
Try out a bunch of different things and see what interests you. There are bound to be dozens of things that may pique your interest. Not everything has to be in-depth, but the way I look at it is that everyone person should have at least 10 topics that they can speak about for at least an hour (i.e., you have to know about some things in-depth). Interests are how we grow as humans.
>No friends or connections
Once you establish your hobbies and interests and start acting in accordance with those, you will find yourself naturally gravitating to others that share those interests. Read about the "Proximity Theory" for more information on this. You must become integrated into the community which you live. For more information about this please read and understand Simone Weil's work: "The Need for Roots: prelude towards a declaration of duties towards mankind"

Anonymous 111064

>>111040

It makes perfect sense for entry-level employers to care about volunteer hours. It's proof that you're not a total wildcard that isn't even guaranteed to show up on time.

I volunteered at the zoo running summer programs. That experience with kids got me into a teacher's aide position out of high school and I used the tuition reimbursement to pursue a teaching degree.

It's by no means necessary, but it's still experience. It's going to put you ahead of someone who doesn't have that experience.

Anonymous 111291

IMG_5115.jpeg

>>111040
it can also give you transferable skills. ie, working in an elderly home: good bedside manner, learning how to communicate with those who can’t communicate well (dealing with shit like early-stage dementia could transfer into customer service skills, which every company likes to see). i agree with other anon that it proves you’re not a deadbeat.

this all being said, i don’t know how to put volunteer hours on my resume (as if i have any whoops).



Sieppaa1.PNG

Anonymous 111196[Reply]

will i ever get a job? people say just walk to a supermarket and ask for a job but i dont think its that easy. first of all i have lots of limits
>short
>weak
>bad social skills
>autism
>hard to understand things
>dyslexia
>no skills
i understand that i cant blame everything on my genes but i feel like they limit a lot. very social job or very physical job is my only super limits but otherwise i dont mind that much. i just feel hopeless, i saw some summer jobs at church, two that interested me but i saw the other one too late, so i applied for the other one. no answer yet. idk i just feel like i am not worth of job, i mean being neet is okay but i need money soon. i have no experience at the age of 18 (soon 19).

i dont have any dream job, it is just simply about money for me but also something that you dont absolutely hate. is it over?
6 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 111221

>>111218
i will look for them, thank you.

>>111220
to be honest, i probably would qualify if i really tried because of mental illnesses and past documents but i feel like i am able to work, so it would feel bad for living off someone's hard work tax money yk. they could be used for better than for me.

Anonymous 111222

>>111221
>>111221

hii i'm new to crystals :3 tryna figure where things are happening and if this is any active

to be honest, a job is kinda worthless, you basically do value for someone else and you get value you can spend (money)
maybe you can try to monetize things on your own but you'll wanna figure out how

you can try to get into programming if you want to, kinda fits with what you want (least social, neet, from home things) pure time into it maybe see if it's worth it or nwah

Anonymous 111223

>>111222
yeah of course, but i am not really that type of person that knows how to program or so. my interest are history and maps so yeah not very technical things. even if low tier jobs dont really provide that much value its okay for me, i want simple easy mindless job basically.


i assume most people here are from the USA so i will clarify that i am not from there just in the case.

Anonymous 111224

>>111223
makes sense !!:3
also maybe you could try to look into how to make maybe some online things with history and maps using very little programming knowledge or like figuring out the minimum

oh yea i thought of smth, maybe get a car and work for ubereats ? just kinda what i thought of on the moment can be dangerous or good

you'll work as a independent contractor for them, pick up the app and accept and deliver orders and stuff

Anonymous 111327

>>111221
thing is retail and every entry level job automatically filters you out for being autistic, they just can't say it and risk a discrimination lawsuit. try applying for disability anyway, learn some skills and monetize them like >>111222 suggested. as for the potential "guilt" of screwing wagies out of taxpayer money? it is what it is. you have to survive any way you can.



e.jpeg

parasocial relationships Anonymous 111095[Reply]

i've come to accept that a parasocial relationship is probably the closest i will get to any kind of romantic connection and i'm okay with that. i haven't met any guys who make me as happy and filled with affection as my parasocial hyperfixation does. i've never felt anything like it. there was a point in time when i was worried that i might not have the capacity to love someone and that made the future seem lonely, but that isn't the case anymore. as long as i can think of him, i won't feel lonely. thinking about him also helps when i have a hard day, which is often.

i can't be the only one who feels this way. i don't even have interest in pursuing a relationship anymore because i don't think anyone could stack up to him. or the image of him i've created. tell me about your experiences with parasocial relationships. i know that they can often be unhealthy, but this one seems to be helping my mental health more than harming it. and i've been thinking about the same guy for years now.
12 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 111193

At this point just look into tulpamancy

Anonymous 111200

>>111193
i'd consider it, but i'm not sure if it'd be worth the risk. a tulpa is basically a sentient being, right? at that point it would feel more like an actual relationship as opposed to a parasocial one. i'm not sure if i'd want something that feels like an actual relationship.

Anonymous 111201

>>111177
you want a fanbase and community, not parasocial relationships

Anonymous 111213

>>111200
A tulpa is pretty much you roleplaying with yourself, but to such a degree that it feels believable (with the tulpa having its own viewpoints, opinions, etc.), thanks to practice and mental techniques. Unless you believe in /x/ type stuff of course.
It's about as sentient as you are, because it's just you but having trained yourself to converse with yourself from another perspective. It's not all that different from fantasizing about doing stuff with your parasocial love, and imagining what he does, says and thinks - based on your understanding of HIS perspective and personality, but still ultimately conjured up by YOUR mind and fully in your control. A tulpa is really not too dissimilar from taking this to its logical extreme, making it much more immersive but the principles are not that different. In particular, a tulpa's personality, appearance etc. are going to be exactly what you want them to be: it's not going to be a "real relationship" in the sense that it's never going to be a separate sentient being with the ability to disagree with you or do stuff that you find retarded.

Disclaimer, I don't have a tulpa, I've just talked to some schizos, so this is secondhand understanding.

Anonymous 111216

>>111213
>A tulpa is pretty much you roleplaying with yourself
REEEE no its not you normies will never understand the relationship i have with varg



IMG_0147.png

Is this Napoleon syndrome? Anonymous 104218[Reply]

I was hanging out with my one of my friends and her guy friend, whom I’ve never met before, came to talk to us. This one guy is very seemingly confident and was talking about how many “bitches” he gets and how much of a player he is. He also loves calling women ugly, especially those who have the audacity of being attracted to him though he is short and quite unfortunate looking himself.

I’ve never met a man with such a huge ego. Sometimes I want to burst his bubble but I’m sure someone in life will do that for him one day.
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 104224

Well, reached this point, I'd say that resentment is a HUGE factor when it comes to the rise of reactionary ideologies as well as hatred towards women, not to be a moid defender, but a little innocent 12 year old child doesn't turn into a monster once he's an adult for no reason, same way a nona in here doesn't become jaded and man-hating for no reason.

It's much like dialectic materialism, but with gender, dialectical genderism/sexism? Men and Women have different reproductive goals, and reproductive instincits control such a big part of our behaviours and culture, the distinct goals and wants clash together, and the result is what we get…

Anonymous 104226

>>104218
NTA in your particular case, but Napoleon syndrome as a clinical disorder is a myth.

>In 2007, a study by the University of Central Lancashire concluded that the Napoleon complex is a myth, described in terms of the theory that shorter men are more aggressive to dominate those who are taller than they are. The study discovered that short men were less likely to lose their temper than men of average height. The experiment involved subjects dueling each other with sticks, with one subject deliberately rapping the other's knuckles. Heart monitors revealed that the taller men were more likely to lose their tempers and hit back. University of Central Lancashire lecturer Mike Eslea commented that "when people see a short man being aggressive, they are likely to think it is due to his size, simply because that attribute is obvious and grabs their attention".[7]

Anonymous 104237

>>104226
Honestly, at this point any psychological study that reaches interesting or counterintuitive conclusions is highly suspicious. Fraud seems too common.

Anonymous 110361

>>104223
you can't blame them, most women hate short men

Anonymous 110380

>>110379
I hope all men get raped by a manlet until their internal organs get punctured and they bleed to their death



propellercap.jpg

I wish he could get a facelift, face fillers and hair transplant Anonymous 111158[Reply]

I'm a perfectionism obsessed with beauty however I contradict myself and don't care about being beautiful neither judge people by their looks, it's too primitive and I don't wanna regress to that mental state. I often don't even see "ugly" and "pretty" people as that different. Doesn't matter yet… It does… Whenever I see an almost perfect male I wish he could enhance his beauty with these procedures, male and female beauty is different so I mean enhance the masculine beauty till perfection. I dont want them to all look the same I just want their individual male beauty to be perfected. Beauty is my biggest muse and inspiration.
Pleasure get these face fillers, please get a jaw surgery, please get that double chin sucked off of your body, please lower your hairline, please make your upper lip shorter, please get a nose job, please lose weight cause it makes your face look more defined, please get that extreme chemical peel that burns off the top layer of skin then it all looks like a one big scab that gets taken off of your face, please get on steroids muscles fit you and if you have to be muscular then it has to be perfect and steroids make men look masculine, please start weightlifting at 10 everyday of your life and be on a diet to keep perfect physique. If youre a man that looks better as skinny then lose weight and never have too much fat. Get a stomach liposuction of needed. Stay close to underweight. Please whiten your teeth. Please get fake teeth. Please famous man who's almost perfect and has million videos filmed of him during his youth, travel in time and perfect your beauty even more with aesthetic medicine so you look more perfect and then I can look at these pictures and be inspired. Please get an ass liposuction if needed. Please get a different hairstyle. Please grow more hair. Ive been insanely inspired after seeing these looksmaxing transformion where an incel looking man gets turned into a Chad using just face fillers. They need to even exaggerate their masculine beauty features. Please get these procedures. Please get plastic surgery. Please get fillers in your dick. The title is about a specific moid thats over 50 and needs a facelift. Hes famous so he should.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 111170

>>111166
More surgery, less of telling sensible girls online that they are the devil. Tell your thin lipped Nigel to get lip fillers.

Anonymous 111172

>>111170
>Tell your nigel
I'm never going to get a nigel because I'm not retarded. Fuck men. Dating men is something you do in your 20s when you have no life experience and you're bored. Once you reach your late 20s you realize that they're animals and they should be put down like animals.

Anonymous 111174

>>111172
based.

Anonymous 111178

I thought this was going to be about how we should all be propellerhatmaxxing…

Anonymous 111183

>>111172
Agree but I like to look at pretty androgynous men especially when they do romance movies catered to female ~~delusions~~, they should upgrade their looks and exist as my fantasy. That hairline must go a little lower.



20230905_025402_IM…

therapy Anonymous 106040[Reply]

what is your guys' experience w getting therapy? would u recommend?
78 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 110820

Literally got sexually harassed by a therapist as a child so yeah. They're shitty people, never had one help me. Just wanted to make my parents happy by putting me on medicine for a paycheck than actually helping me when I confided in them I was being abused.

Anonymous 111133

>>106040
I work in an adjacent field and have tried it. It depends a lot on the situation and on the people involved (Therapist and Patient)

Never trust a therapist's qualifications at face value. The field/market itself is fucked. Most of the 'therapists' that graduate are dipshits that just skim through their 'training' and just go at things either on a purely surface level or are horrifically stuck in what they were taught and either don't care or are too stupid to notice. The issue with 'great' therapists is that they both need to actually care and be intelligent enough to adjust what they do to fit the patient. (Especially if the patient is someone who is the type to post here as most of it is made for normies who do take everything at surface level)

Unironically if you're smart enough and can afford it/have the time/mental ability to, dig into the textbook they learned from and read it yourself.

But therapists do still have uses, having someone that you can vent and bitch to without any worry about em ghosting or damaging a friendship can be useful if you can use what you gain to help yourself, and sometimes you can take the simple crap one size fit all 'solutions' they try to peddle and adapt it to your own self in your own way. But I can only suggest doing that in good conscience if you still have some mental fortitude and abilities left.

TLDR
They suck usually but you can squeeze some good out of them if you know how to

Anonymous 111162

It’s my job right now kek. I thought it would feel meaningful to have a job where I could help people feel better or at least help them feel listened to and understood. And since I know what it’s like to have shitty mental health, maybe I also want to be the kind of person that I wish I had when I was going through hard times. I don’t know if I’m helping anyone, but I hope I am. I do feel really disillusioned with the mental health system though. I also don’t think therapy is the only way for people to deal with their issues, although that seems to be the common consensus nowadays.

Ironically, most of my personal experiences with therapy have been unhelpful kek. One of my therapists asked if I ever considered Christianity when I was talking to her about my depression. I can’t even remember much of what I talked about with the other two therapists I tried.

Anonymous 111165

>>111162
as a therapist, do you know resources for finding a good one? it sounds like a really mixed bag, and i want to find a good one that actually cares about people's health (like you)

Anonymous 111173

>>111165
I wish I could give some concrete advice, but I guess there's no way to guarantee that a therapist you meet will genuinely care about the work until you actually meet them. I don't know how helpful this is, but I think it's a misconception that therapists make a lot of money. Of course some do, but as far as I know it's mostly people who either own their own practice or have some super specialized degree. I imagine that if you find a therapist through a group practice (as opposed to someone who works completely independently), you might have a better chance of meeting someone who isn't in it just for the money because honestly you don't even make that much lol. The other benefit of finding a therapist who works at a group practice is that if the therapist isn't a good fit, they can refer you to someone else who works in the practice so you don't have to do extra work and find another person on your own! But yeah, your mileage may vary. I wish I could give more helpful advice.



image0-20.jpg

Anonymous 111154[Reply]

How do I get over my constant fear and pessimism about human nature? In this case I'm talking about males but it's true with women too. I feel like people are always judging and comparing.

My bf is so kind and caring, he says he loves me and tells me how attracted he is to me. I have no reason to be insecure. But I still am. I worry he's settling with me, that he wants better but he thinks I'm all he'll be able to get since I'm his first gf. I'm sure he sees cute girls online who are objectively more attractive than I am. Why do I think like this? I don't do that with him and other men, although I know there are women that do and I find that just as reprehensible. I don't know why i'm so insecure, he hasn't done anything to make me feel that way, I think I always would no matter who it was and what he said. I feel the age of social media has ruined us and what we see as a normal person anyway sorry about my schizo rant

Anonymous 111156

>My bf is so kind and caring, he says he loves me and tells me how attracted he is to me. I have no reason to be insecure.
Then don't. Your emotional needs are already being met and if you're his first gf he will always compare other girls to you if he ever breaks up. If all your bf has to offer are empty insincere words and no actions to back it up, then it's understandable to feel that way. Make yourself look and act perfect, attract the attention of other men so he doesn't get too complacent.



[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
| Catalog
[ Rules / FAQ ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / x ]