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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/23/2020 - No new rules, only clarification added.


Can a masculine woman find love? Anonymous 36960[Reply]

I'm a 5'8-5'9 girl with big, masculine jaw. No, I'm not trans. I'm thin but I have wide shoulders, wide hips, I'm overall huge. No guy has ever expressed interest in me, and my current crush is only 5'2 (and he seems to be a traditional guy who is not into big women). How do other masculine girls cope with being unwanted? How do you get over not being small and adorable? Do any of you have any experience with finding a shorter-not-so-masculine bf?
3 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 36976

Honestly, just play to your strengths and amplify what unique traits you have. If you say that you have broad shoulders and hips, start working out or doing sports and become a hot athlete.

And before you hit me with that “but men don’t like manly women” I dare you to look at what type of body the men on /fit/ lust over. Seriously, I’m actually kind of jealous. You need to become a giant amazon gf and pick up / bully cute manlets.

Anonymous 36977

Aw anon, You might be tall but wide shoulders and wide hips is hourglass figure. Defined chins aren't necessarily masculine unless you have strong features (such as nose, etc) Taller people have amazing porportions. While here I am with this short stubby neck and short legs. People joke about you being the dom because being taller usually indicates that the person has more power. This is seen in drawings as a stereotype and anime where caracters are featureless. It doesn't mean you look masculine. Your kids will be tall if you decide to have any. Overall I see alot more upsides to being tall and it's honestly a great gene to have.
Men usually feel emasculated when women are taller than them, so this might be a reason why you're having problems dating.

Anonymous 36978

I'm all of what you've described (wideset jaw and cheekbones, wide shoulders, etc.) but 5'2". I don't have much advice to offer, but coming from a bisexual woman, 5'8"/5'9" is honestly not as tall for a woman as you might think it is.

Anonymous 36983

Absolutely, but it may be hard with short guys tbh. As a very proactive ex-manlet-chaser, I can say from experience it's pure luck to find one secure enough to date anyone even an inch taller than them. So if your taste isn't strictly short guys, I recommend considering men taller than yourself as well.

Bottom line is I'm sure you're very cute, op.

Anonymous 36985

No idea what your face looks like, but generally men and women have very different taste in women’s faces. I’ve heard a lot of guys call women “beautiful “ or “sexy” even though they look very manly to me. A wide, strong jaw isn’t a deal breaker. What fashion are you into? Instead of trying to be small and cute, do you play up your good points?

hmm dog.jpg

Is politics ever an issue with your boyfriend? Anonymous 34509[Reply]

I talked with my boyfriend about how funny it was that my Exes always acted extremely suspicious and distrusting, whenever they thought I could get a glimpse on their phone screen or go on their pc without them knowing.

My boyfriend of 8 months then said that he is completely fine with me having access to his phone and pc and encouraged me to snoop through it. It wasn't my intention to get him to allow me to do that. If anything I just wanted to say that I liked how relaxed he is about it. But he actually wants me to snoop through everything and even said that he is curious, if I can find anything that will make me think less of him. He sometimes evaluates things for a neutral perspective, so he said it would serve as a valuable lesson to him, if I did leave him, based on anything I found. I guess he saw this as a sort of trust exercise.

So I haven't looked through everything yet. I am glad I didn't found any porn or found out about any weird fetishes. I knew about him being an imageboard user and he mostly uses /pol/ as a news source and lurks, but he seems to be pretty clearly right-wing. He's not the edgy type. He even told me that he dislikes rude racism, which I guess gave me a different impression of him at first. But based on his browser history and convos he's definitely a Nationalist and into traditional gender roles. He knows I am a feminist too. He once said to me that he wouldn't care, if I was a Nazi, Communist or whatever, he would still love me and doesn't want politics to get between us.

The thing is I did see some convos and a few threads, which he saved images from, which are basically about "converting your gf to a trad right-wing waifu".
What do you think? Does he expect that I adopt his ideology, even though he told me that he doesn't want politics to get between us? He told me he meant what he said and I haven't really yet confronted him about his general political beliefs, which he did hide from me, even though admittedly he never lied to me about anything specifically.

Will he try to manipulate me?
31 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 36829

>didn't even wipe his butt because he thought it was too "gay"
I'm sorry anon but this is just ridiculous bait

Anonymous 36830

>he thinks that women and men are fundamentally quite different
Is this not true?

Anonymous 36888

It depends on what you consider a "fundamental" difference. We're different in that our chromosomes, which determine whether we have reproductive organs of the "male" or "female" sex, are different. Our reproductive organs affect the hormones we produce which can create additional physical differences. Other than these differences, not much else sets the two sexes apart.

Anonymous 36891

>Our reproductive organs affect the hormones we produce which can create additional physical differences. Other than these differences, not much else sets the two sexes apart.

Hormones only effect physical traits… Oh no no no no. You know that lots of hormones can effect your brain right?

Anonymous 36895

Indeed, hormones affect our brains. They can affect individual people's bodies and brains differently, though. Certain people who have the same reproductive organs (or ones that visually appear the same) can produce different hormones, or produce the same hormone at different levels, as well. The differences aren't concrete.


Anonymous 36720[Reply]

>be me
>just two months after my first breakup
>hang out with a new guy just 2 weeks before quarantine starts
>he's nice, attractive and into me
>he flirts a lot but I don't react at all, because I can only think about my ex
>he always texts me and ask me if I wanna go out
>always give him one word replies
>quarantine starts and he stops texting me

I treated this very nice guy like garbage just because I felt like it. I think I deserve this after all, but I really miss him. It's been 2 months already and I feel ashamed. What should I do? I don't wanna give up on him

Anonymous 36722

First of ask yourself if you’re ready to date and if you actually want to date him. If no, do nothing. If yes, send him a message explaining asking how he is doing and get the conversation going. Make more of an effort this time. Later you can explain why you acted so distant before and say you feel ready to date now.

Anonymous 36725

Perhaps you could try messaging him

Anonymous 36765

You don't want to look weak and needy in front of him. Keep your silence and wait for him to approach you.

Anonymous 36820

how to lose any males interest 101

Anonymous 36824

"Hey dude, sorry i was being so weird with you earlier. I was getting over a rough break up at the time, and had a lot going through my mind. But the truth is that I really do enjoy spending time with you, and miss talking to you."


Anonymous 36360[Reply]

Normies going insane because of corona and etc makes me feel good, comfortable, and more sane in this world
22 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 36470


This happened to me too, the lockdown has really undone all the progress that I'd made this year. I fell right back into my shut-in habits and behaviors so quickly after spring break.
Feels like it's just going to be even harder to try to be normal again, and that I will always have to live with my shut-in self because it's a part of me I can't erase.

At least it's nice that the movies I wanted to see this summer are getting early home releases. I'm having a fun summer like I would've had before I started getting physically active. I miss shopping and I sort of miss walking at the park but walking around the neighborhood block has been decent.

I hate that shit is trying to reopen already. As fucked up as it would be, a tiny part of me wishes that the virus would mutate due to covidiots and keep us inside even longer.

There's just some kind of sick pleasure in seeing the extrovert bullies suffer from this. For some you hope this was a humbling experience for them to see what the other side is like and learn empathy, while for others you know they won't learn a damn thing so you just gotta appreciate the karma while it lasts.

Anonymous 36475

anon are you…. retarded….

Anonymous 36514

What about the normies that don’t care about getting infected?
My sister moved back at home with me and my parents (who are 60+), and she’s still going out drinking. She went on a 5 day edible binge with her friends.
yesterday she admitted that she should self quarantine after us watching a 2hr movie. Then, after she binge drank Soda and didn’t go to bed until 5am.
Great, just fucking great.

Anonymous 36529

>Then, after she binge drank Soda and didn’t go to bed until 5am
I can't really see what that has to do with the rest of your post, or the fact that she doesn't care about being infected and continues to go out.

Anonymous 36804

Bad for your immune system


Body dysmorphia Anonymous 36545[Reply]

How do you stop seeking validation of your attractiveness, and stop being obsessive about your appearance and perceived flaws?

I've always had issue with my body image; I am diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder, but if I ever try to talk about my issues with people, people roll their eyes and scoff, and say that I'm fishing for compliments because I am "attractive".

Yet, I don't see myself that way, and other people tell me I'm homely all of the time until I start showing my insecurities, then, I'm a hot girl fishing for compliments. Which is it? Am I hot or homely???

I feel like I have such a flimsy sense of self; I can't perceive myself correctly, and everyone tells me something different, and it causes me to seek more and more validation for some sort of consistency, looking for my sense of value outside of myself.

I have ugly duckling syndrome, I think. I was an ugly kid. I grew up invisible and socially retarded, people have literally sat on me, not noticing I was there.

One day, just out of nowhere, I started getting hit on a lot, and it's created a huge dissonance in my head, like my brain feels full of mush, and I don't know if I really am attractive or not, but the better question is why do I even care so much, and why does it bother me? I've literally cried when looking at mirrors, not wanting to leave the house, missing social events because I hate the way I look, but I can't even talk about my body image issues without people scoffing at me, because they perceive it as juvenile or vain to care so much, but I genuinely see myself as grotesque, no matter what anyone tells me.
8 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 36588

Yeah, my personality is more "me," but I'm also high libido and wouldn't want someone begrudgingly having sex with me while secretly being disgusted. I used to be into that dubcon stuff but I'm no longer pornsick or full of self-hatred.

But if men are simply not attracted to most women then that's extremely bleak.
No wonder febfems do what they do.

Anonymous 36596

I see where you're coming from. Let's agree to disagree.

For context, I was sexually assaulted when I was younger in my teens. I've only told 3 friends, even my family doesn't know about it because I feel shame about it. I can only say this stuff because it's anon, ig. But I do plan on getting therapy for it in the future.
That whole experience fucked me up so I'm sex-averse and I have really low libido. Sexual contact makes me feel really nervous, like even if my brain knows my SO wouldn't hurt me, the body still triggers the fight or flight response.
It’s stressful for me. Given all that, I can only see pros and no cons for being sexually unattractive, yk? Because then it means it will be less likely that I'll be sexually assaulted again.

I know that's not really true though. It's a fact that men as a whole commit more rapes and sex crimes than women, and the people they victimize aren't necessarily Stacy-level beauties. Deranged perverts aren't picky, they victimize children, relatives, strangers, disabled, etc., people that a normal sane person wouldn't consider sexually attractive.
Like >>36561 said, women automatically become sexually attractive after puberty - it's not really special to be sexually attractive to men because that's kinda a low bar. Most men aren't that picky, and yes, this is infused with personal bias. If men were only attracted to Stacies then someone like me who isn’t one should have been spared. :/

As for the more normal part of the population, not calling it exactly science journal-level research, but OKCupid did a study a few years ago on how men and women rate each other's attractiveness and messaging/reply rates. For women the attractiveness and message/reply ratings were evenly distributed, while for men it was more skewed, only a minority were considered handsome and got more responses, while most men were considered "meh" or unattractive. Anyway yeah I don't think you need to worry about something like that, because men statistically find women more physically attractive on average than the inverse.

Besides, if you're the gf/wife of a guy they're highly likely to already find you sexually attractive too. Considering most men are horny af, plus the emotional bond, very few men would be unhappy/disgPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Anonymous 36599


You won't siz. Also you didn't give context for your situation so idk how your childhood was, but it's also possible you weren't unattractive when you were younger, but you were socially awkward or you just had peers who were bullies.
Regardless, that's behind you now though. Besides, if it's just acceptance you're looking for, being plain/average is sufficient. If you wanna be worshiped though, then that would require being a Stacy ;)

It's not weird to fantasize about being Stacy even when you don't really wanna date. It's just like a power fantasy/wish fulfillment thing. Like I enjoy playing otome games/dating sims and the fantasy of being "wanted" by multiple people all vying for my affection, even though irl I'm direct and wouldn't string multiple people along.

>Is that true? I hope it is. I think I spend too much time lately listening to men on incel sites, it's tainting my mind. LOL.

It is; of course there are really those genetically blessed that could make a potato sack look like high fashion. But even so you still shouldn't underestimate the power of hygiene, good fashion, and well-applied makeup. If you've seen those makeup transformation videos, the "before" and "after" don't even look like the same person. And fashion is how you help shape how others perceive you. That's why we wear formal attire to job interviews instead of pajamas, right? We wanna look reliable and professional to the interviewer.
Admittedly, really attractive people do have a headstart and have more leeway due to the halo effect. But even with the halo effect, you can still lose people's goodwill by continually fucking up. If your attractive coworker keeps going AWOL, or your attractive group member doesn't contribute anything to the school project, sure you'll forgive them the first few times. But eventually you'll hate their guts for being a flake. That they're attractive isn't relevant.

I don't really visit incel sites but what are the things they say?
Another thing is you wouldn't really want to attract incel types anyway; despite all their griping about wanting a gf, they'd just turn violent or fuck it up somehow if they did have one. Why pander to people like that right? It'd be better to pander what your crush likes (if you have one) or emulate a female role model.

Anonymous 36604

In regards to incels, they have a more poor understanding of women than any other portion of the population. Using their ideas as a reference point is like asking a homeless person for career advice.

Anonymous 36791

What you think of yourself doesn't matter, if everyone says you're hot, you're hot. Simple as that.

I dont feel so goo…

Anonymous 35994[Reply]

Whats the worst rejection scenario you can think of, or just any from experience?

>confess feelings to a boy you really liked

>he's gay
23 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 36544

you sound like an insecure mess

Anonymous 36593


Not sure if bait but you deserve that


The type of rejection I experienced from my ex. The kind where he "nicely" rejects me, and tries to keep everything the same. Wanting to sext is fucked up and makes me feel like trash

Anonymous 36671

What, for wanting something better? Not her but what's wrong with that.

Anonymous 36672

For thinking that she could just go back.


Hello World Anonymous 36616[Reply]

Hello world

Anonymous 36754


Henlo :D

Anonymous 36758


Hello universe

Anonymous 36767

How extraverted of you, addressing the whole universe at once


Anyone here a single NEET? Anonymous 36267[Reply]

Im 23, with no work experience, dropped out of college due to low GPA, and my parents want to kick me out by the next 2 months. Im deathly afraid of being homeless and all my job applications have been denied. It will take a miracle to even get an interview offer, let alone a job.

My best and only friend, who never went to college is a NEET too but she lives with her boyfriend from HS who provides everything for her, which makes me terribly jealous, because I dont think I can get a boyfriend that cares enough for me due to my ugliness, shyness and autism.

Sorry, but I really needed to vent. Have any of you been in the same situation?
17 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 36762

How do I find a degenerate to sell feet pics too? I'm too poorfag to have any pride left.

Anonymous 36763


The invisible hand of the free market wins again.

Anonymous 36764

I've known him for most of my life, and he's always had a bit of a crush on me. I have no idea where you would find someone like that, maybe reddit? If you have nice feet, I'm sure someone would pay for pictures. I don't really know what that means, but I've been told I have nice feet by literal strangers before, so maybe I've won the genetic foot lottery.

Anonymous 36766

25 year old NEET here. graduated with 2 degrees in computer related stuff 3 years ago and since then I've only managed to get 3 menial work jobs and only held them for about a week. I don't think I'll ever be able to function as an adult and the end of the line draws closer for me

Anonymous 36910

You’d have better luck on Twitter. You just need to watch out for flakes/scammers.


Anonymous 36478[Reply]

What do i tell people when they ask me what i do on my free time when all i do is watch youtube and do other random stuff on the internet? I mean, i do sometimes make music, draw or read, but im never able to stick to anything for long enough. And even if i am, i know ill lose interest soon enough since thats how its always been. It just feels wrong each time i claim something (besides browsing the internet) to be my hobby.
11 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 36679

I illegally download anime instead of paying for it

Anonymous 36680

I'm hooked, tell me more.

Anonymous 36681

you could just ask them what theyre doing

Anonymous 36685

That's just doing a U turn down the same driveway for me.
>So you like X?
>ask some basic questions about X
>they reply
>quickly exhaust all reasonably close questions regarding X

Its just really one sided for me. I know a few things, but finding the things people want to talk about is like a needle in a haystack
>person says she likes fantasy novels like LoTR
>I think of some reasonable lines of conversation like talking about characters, Tolkein's distaste for allegory despite the many allegories readers drew between it and war, the neat sounding food etc
>decide to pick the last one
>conversation quickly fizzles as she says elvish bread does sound tasty

If I'm being a little bit more bitter I resent how people don't know how to write their thoughts, especially on places like discord where one liners are the norm. But more practically I think I need to work on sounding excited or something. From other people's chats I see there's very little content, the emotional delivery (I think?) is what carries the conversation.


Well anon, there's what you like to do for fun, but remember that there's hobbies that benefit you and hobbies that don't. Mention the hobbies that build a skill when talking to others and try to make the time you spend on them more valuable. It was benefit your future.


My husband is watching porn Anonymous 28159[Reply]

I'm a 24 years old married French anon, my husband is 28, we are in relationships since 4-5 years with no big problem.

A few day ago, my curiosity pushed me to check his phone's web history (when he was asleep lol).
I discovered that almost 1 day on 2, he is watching porn sites.
What's puzzled me the most is the researches he made : "sister" and "teen"
What's the psychology behind "sister" and "teen" porn?
I can't stop thinking about that.
I feel disgusted.
I don't want to talk/ask to him about that.

Ps: pardon my English
94 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 36651

>So “saggy” breasts, stretch marks, darkened labia
Non-fertile women also share these traits, so how does that show fertility?

Anonymous 36653

>Young teens don’t have hips wide enough to birth kids
If so, how do so many teenagers and young adults (say, 20 or younger) have children, sometimes many? Teenage motherhood has been a relatively common phenomenon for nearly all of history. Along with that, there are plenty of fully-developed adult women who give birth despite their bodies being less equipped to handle pregnancy and childbirth, solely due to being shorter or having a smaller frame.

>It’s normal for girls not to menstruate until 16

While this does occur, most girls begin puberty between 9 and 11 years old. I had my first period a few months after turning 10 and while that's on the "earlier" side of the pubescent age range, medically speaking, it's more common for girls to begin having periods at 10 then at 16. 16 is rather late to begin menstruating, in fact - beginning menstruating any later than at 16 is often unnatural and due to a medical issue.

>“saggy” breasts, stretch marks, darkened labia (happens during pregnancy), etc should be the sexiest by that theory

We become less fertile as we age, and the rate of a child being born with birth defects also increases as the mother of the child ages. Due to those features indicating age, from a natural (predominately hormonal) standpoint, they're less attractive than features which indicate that a woman has recently become fertile. The signs of pubescence and fertility are indicators of a woman's capability to birth the healthiest, strongest offspring.

Anonymous 36654

tfw still look 15 at almost 30

Anonymous 36655

>just a fact all girls have to face eventually
Hearing this all the time online, often from men, has done absolutely nothing when it comes to helping me accept it. I assume that's one goal they have when constantly shoving it in our faces.

Realizing the reality of males has just pushed me more towards dating women, since I at least know from experience (being a woman) that we aren't completely controlled by sexuality and can form emotional bonds.

I've said it before here, but I personally shrug at the stats; I'm a formidable woman and can cope with a small gal throwing unserious little punches at me, but knowing my partner operates on a completely different level emotionally and is a slave to sexual impulses is out of my range.

Maybe some other bi girl on here will see this post and have a realization about her personal pros and cons as well, idk.

Anonymous 36660

A lot of that "stepmom, stepfriend, step what ever" stuff is usually acted more intimately than traditional jackhammering porn, and the actors actually pretend to be having a romance. It's always on the front pages now, I don't get why they always have the gross family ties plot though.

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