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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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News: /cgl/ has been merged with /hb/.
Please read the rules! Last update: 01/18/2019


sad and broke in a foreign country Anonymous 25130[Reply]

>be in Switzerland since my only familly is here
>have to learn german cause is hard to get a job without it hre
>after that an apprenticeship for three years which naturally pays bellow minimum
>have obsessive thoughts and cry myself to sleep cause im ugly caus of my nose whic i hate
>cant afford any cope surgeries
>cant stop caring about my appearance feels like defeat to me.
>cant afford professional help
>hav to wait for years plus

i guess im gonna have to keep grindin my german , will a year by sorta enough ?
8 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 26075

people here seem shy, what I dont get is why they make threads if they have no intention of replying

Anonymous 26077

I'm not OP, I'm just a simple miner - I see an email address, I google it. I'm sorry to read you got ghosted though. It's hard to strike up conversations when there's not much of a foundation to start with, I think. I was never successful with stuff like friend finder threads because it feels kind of contrived when I talk to them and then I sort of trail off.

Anonymous 26083

Not OP but…

>"yay, I got a reply to my post"

>write out ten variations of own reply
>erase everything because I think I sound stupid
>"let's try writing a better reply tomorrow"
>1 week later
>fuck it's too late and awkward now

Anonymous 26161

I understand, I posted that post in context to the replies ITT but didn't realize that miner gave a email address and was commenting on that and not the replies to this and I realized my mistake. I mustered up the courage in 3 days to respond to your post that responded to mine.

anyways back to OP; what did you mean by "hav to wait for years plus" did you mean in reference to therapy?

Anonymous 26162

Honestly this is so fuckin kawaii, crystal-tan memes now


addict/alcoholic loved ones Anonymous 26043[Reply]

my dad is in the hospital again for issues with his chronic alcoholism and withdrawal symptoms (he sleeps a long time and goes into withdrawal). he was in the hospital for the same thing about 2 months ago and was in total denial and wouldn't go to rehab. He thinks he had to go to the hospital because he wasn't eating/sleeping enough. What the fuck. For a really smart guy, he is totally blind about this stuff. I am so sad and angry. I think he will probably die soon and to be honest I sort of want him to get it over with. He's useless and I know he won't get any better without a major wake-up. He's been drinking and smoking since he was 14 years old (60 now…) and I don't have any hope of him stopping. I hate him.

Can you relate? I don't know who to talk to.
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 26124

Are you OP or >>26056 ?

Anonymous 26129


I'm OP

Anonymous 26133

My dad had an opioid addiction. I learned it through my older brother because I was never really close to my dad. I can't remember exactly what it was, maybe methadone or oxycodone. He used be really aggressive and verbally abusive when he drank habitually too. I never forgave him for all that crap.

Also my brother turned into a bit of a meth addict, ruined him financially, but I think he's stopped now (maybe?) and - last time I saw him - he didn't look as bad as he did before.

I "dealt" with it all by just hiding away by myself. I don't recommend this approach as I don't feel it was a good way to resolve these issues (if it resolves them in any form at all). I was never close enough to either of them to have much sway over their actions and encourage something remedial. It doesn't sound like you're very close to your dad either, but if you love him then I hope you find a better solution than just waiting.

Anonymous 26134

Oh ok don’t worry anon we weren’t talking about you! >>26103 was talking about >>26056

Anonymous 26157


thanks for sharing. how did you hide?

yeah, i do still love him a lot, i think. i have been talking to him about every other day while he's in the hospital. tbh that's more than I've talked to him in the last few months combined though.


aw thanks, ok. i got confused and defensive.


How do I stop feeling inferior because I'm not Asian? Anonymous 25830[Reply]

Is there a way to cure your yellow fever? Knowing I will never be this cute, short, skinny and young-looking honestly kills me.
Does anybody else feel that way too?
64 posts and 15 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 26150

Well, it's nice that you say that you don't find tall girls ugly and that you never said anything mean to any of us, but that doesn't change that I've been bullied for my height all my life. That certainly wasn't just in my imagination. If they downright tell me "I'm glad I'm not as tall as you." then how else should I interpret that other than being tall = bad, do not want?
I know that not every short girl and every tall and short guy out there does that, but there are still enough who do.

Anonymous 26152

Ladies… people will find or invent any reason to criticize women, no matter what. Tall girls are bullied for being tall, and short girls are bullied for being short. Don't get mad at each other, get mad about the fact that there's no way for a girl to live her life without being relentlessly criticized.

As a six foot tall girl I used to feel bad that I would never be "cute", no one would ever scoop me up or cuddle me, I'd never be protected or fussed over. But I'm much more difficult to kidnap, and most men have to look up to make eye contact with me, which means I get treated with a lot more respect than my qt 4'11" friends. There are advantages and disadvantages for every height.

Anonymous 26153

There are plenty of studies that show that tall women (and short men) are the most disadvantaged when it comes to dating and I honestly don't care about the rest, I just would have wanted somebody to like me.

Anonymous 26154

I'm tall and I've never been bullied by short girls, but I've been mocked by men.

Anonymous 26155

>most men have to look up to make eye contact with me
You're living my dream. Too bad I can't grow anymore.


Crush on a guy who'll probably never realise I exist Anonymous 26035[Reply]

So, in short I'm pretty attracted to this one guy I know. It'll likely never turn out because all the other girls in our friend group are short Stacies whose eyes glaze halfway through a conversation.
I don't dislike their company persay, but I just feel alienated some times. I just wish I had a chance with him yknow?
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 26040

I'd say that's pretty tall depending on where you live. 170cm+ is considered tall for ladies where I live.
Anyway, good luck! I hope it works out.

Anonymous 26041

That's really tall unless you're a troon.

Anonymous 26046

He probably wants a girl who knows it's not "persay."

Anonymous 26114


Did you end up asking him out? How did it go?

Anonymous 26139

I realize this is not really helpful in regard to your problem, but it’s “per se” which literally means “by itself” in latin.


filtered thoughts Anonymous 26047[Reply]

what are you thinking about right now that you wish you could say out loud, but can't because it'd be innappropriate, hurt someone's feelings, or cause some other kind of trouble?

i'm in a nutritional science class right now, where we're giving presentations on unhealthy foods we chose and how we'd change the recipe to make them healthier. this really dumb guy made his presentation on pizza and he's talking about how he made his recipe "gluten free" to be healthier even though my professor has said several times throughout this term that gluten is not bad for you unless you have celiac disease. it doesn't help his case that he talks in a slow monotone voice and has this glassy-eyed deadpan look on his face.
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 26067

Ahahah. I'm rude in real life, so I don't have anything I'm stopping myself from saying… I'm a bad role model

Anonymous 26070


OP here. I realized I forgot to mention that the woman who sits next to me in that class is way too old to be going back to college and her voice sounds exactly like Sandy Cheeks.

Anonymous 26071


Stop asking me for relationship advice if you’re not going to listen to me. Don’t tell me all about the boy you’re leading on if you’re not going to leave him for your bf because your bf has $$$. Don’t put every boy you talk to on your phone on a pedestal only to be disappointed when they don’t meet the image you set for them. Don’t be surprised that guy you were flirting with stopped talking to you because he didn’t want to be involved with a girl already in a relationship.

Stop telling me about how I need to get myself a white boy because they’re passive and I can be the one in control of the relationship when all of you are fucking miserable in your current relationships. Thanks for helping me realize that being single is better than being trapped with someone you hate.

Anonymous 26084

>way too old to be going back to college
One is never too old to expand one own's horizon. Humans are lifelong learners.

Anonymous 26101

do you ask yourself critically why you don't express this to your friends?


Anonymous 14928[Reply]

What are your first names? Do you think you have a cool/beautiful name? Do any of you have femcel names that hurt your confidence like Agnes, Larkin, Prudence, Helga, Gertrude, Mildred, Bertha, etc.
102 posts and 17 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 25980


My name evokes the image of a bespectacled single German aunt over the age of 35.

I'm not happy with it, would prefer a cute and feminine name like Sophie, Anna or Lisa.

Anonymous 26009


Anonymous 26025

>traditional name, witch
>Julia, Hedwig
You seem to have no idea about Europe, do you?

Anonymous 26031

Good guess but nope! I don't want to post it bc of muh internet safety.

Anonymous 26052

I'm literally from Europe. Just because you came from a different part of it doesn't mean you can be a smartass.


Anonymous 25983[Reply]

I'm falling for a gay guy.
I'll spare the details of our relationship. Aside from being gay, he is absolutely perfect to me.
He is a friendless, virgin neet who hasn't had meaningful, non-familial social contact in years. For the past few months, we've been speaking for hours and hours every day.
He says he likes me a lot, and has even said he loves me. I know it must be in a platonic way, but it made me crazy anyways. Every nice thing he says makes me crazy.
But I know he will never be attracted to me. He has admitted he cannot find women attractive, even though he's tried. Even if he does like me, it will never be in the same way I like him.
How should I continue? I don't know. He doesn't even know how I feel. I'm afraid of ruining what we have already. I'm afraid of my own feelings.
8 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 26020

No, but we've been talking about it.
I should probably tell him how I feel before I ever see him in person, otherwise I just don't know how I'd behave.

Anonymous 26023

Nah, wait until you've seen him in person before you tell him about your feelings. Maybe meeting him IRL will change your attraction towards him.

Anonymous 26024

I'm so scared that if I confess in person I'd embarrass myself horribly and make the rest of our time together terrible. At least if I do it online, there is an escape option.
Or worse, I don't trust myself not to touch him.

Anonymous 26044

Rough. I was in a near identical situation a few years ago. It felt like meeting my soul mate, but he was mega gay. I chose to confess my feelings after about 6 months. He didn't react negatively, but he didn't feel the same at all. It seemed like the intimacy in our friendship died (he stopped being as open) and we drifted apart in a matter of weeks.
What he did makes sense to me since I have distanced myself from friends who were romantically interested. It made me question the motives of everything they did before and after.

I would recommend making a sincere effort to get over these feelings. Do what you want, though. I'm sure there's a success story to counter my failure. I'd like to hear how things go if you decide to tell him.

Anonymous 26048

I'm sorry if this question sounds rude, but what would be the point in confessing to him?
If he was straight, you could at least cling to a bit of hope that he'd accept your feelings towards him, but he's gay. G A Y. In the worst case, your friendship will fall apart like it happened to >>26044. But there wouldn't be a best case.


Anonymous 24836[Reply]

I think I found the man of my dreams. He and I are very similar, both robots, and he feels the same way about me. We met on a discord server, and from the beginning I kept thinking about how he and I were perfect for each other. Recently we've been talking on the phone together and it's just really nice. The more I talk to him, the more I like him. I feel really good about this, and not in the head-over-heels infatuated way; more in that it just feels right. He's 10 years older than me and lives a few states away, but I think this could work. It feels natural. Do any of you have experience with a relationship like this?
100 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 25923

Why is that anon?
lolcow has more boards then the gossip ones, those were the ones I mostly browsed.
And besides he wasn't a poster just found it through another board. Awful judgmental aren't you.

Anonymous 25940

That's just how website reputations work. Lolcow is associated with catty gossipers just how Reddit is associated with straight white guys and Facebook is associated with middle-aged dumb people.

Anonymous 25943

Lolcow was made for the specific purpose of discussing drama. Without the drama boards, it would be nothing. It's not just a matter of "reputation".

Anonymous 25956

And lolcow has plenty of people who don't use that side as well. Since the off topic boards can be more busy then the gossip ones. I mean thats where CC was born out of the off-topic lolcow side.

Anonymous 25960

Good for you OPssina.


Helping my sister get out of my broken shadow Anonymous 25732[Reply]

>Be me, 18f, sister is currently 10
>I had a very codependent and emotionally blurry relationship with my mom ever since i was born, was treated like a best friend/life partner even since i was ~6
>Mom micromanaged my entire life and isolated me socially in a way that you wouldnt believe
>I was nerdy, into anime, quiet, smart, friendless, awkward, obedient all my life, this led me to be very academically successful at the cost of my own mental health
>Ff to this year, I move overseas to live with my fiance
>I was already considered a golden child by my family because of the academical success, but theyre now straight up kissing my balls because im in western europe
>Im afraid that now that im gone my mom is inflicting the same abuse on my sister
>Sister is following the same life path as me, nerdy, awkward, into anime, but she loves her friends and is 0 interested in her studies
>Entire family but especially mom makes constant comparisons between us 2, how i was good at this and she isnt, how im smart but shes not
>I asked mom to stop comparing us at least in front of her because this is not only going to make sister hate me, its definitely injuring her self esteem and making things only worse for her
>Next time my mom calls shes complaining about how sister isnt as good as me
>I ask her if sister is at least not around
>She says shes right beside her watching youtube
>i tell my mom to stop the call right now because my sister can hear it, she gets angry and says shes too small to understand
>text my sister later and she mentions what my mom was saying word for word
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 25780

>pull a Christian act, and make her go insane from trying to hug her calm
I dont understand this part, could you explain?

>Keep your sister safe

I try, but being 10k km away and with sister pulling away from everyone in anger (and falling deeper down the anime+otaku friends+no studying rabbit hole), its hard

Anonymous 25793

Pulling the insano act of acting really nice. She sounds unstable enough. If you suddenly became nice to her, she could either break down or out to you. Disregard that. Protecting your sister is the number one priority in this scenario. Please close the distance and help her. I don't know what kind of freak I'd be, if I didn't have my siblings in contact with me 24/7. You're the closest thing to a friend that she has, and better at that. Please help her. Arrange your time for her. Anything. :(

Anonymous 25806

I agree with the other anon. Try to build a good relationship to your sister and give her the encouragement and compliments your mother doesn't seem to give her (that's what it sounds like to me). Your mother is probably stuck in her ways, reaching out to your sister is the better approach.

Anonymous 25930

you cant change other peoples behavior. talk to your sister and tell her why your moms behavior isnt acceptable and let her know that you care about her in whatever way you can

Anonymous 25933

This is child abuse anon you need to report it


Anonymous 25805[Reply]

>blocks me
>adds me six months later.
>surprised i'm still in love with him.
>has moved on and wants me to.

They always do move on.
13 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 25922

Anonymous 25924

what. did. you. do.

Anonymous 25925

He probably loves you and is doing what's best for him. Apologising for something for which you're truly sorry is terrifying, in my experience. Knowing the person you were and wishing you weren't ever that person is hard enough, to admit that to someone makes you vulnerable. To have been so horrible to someone because you were young and immature, and to grow up knowing that you were that person and you've contributed to the sadness in this world, sorry isn't enough. You want to make up for it, but the reality is that there's often nothing you can do. They may forgive you, they may hate you, at the end of the day, you've made their lives worse by existing.

Anonymous 25926

>doesn't explain properly what's wrong and everyone is left guessing
>lashes out at everyone because they're guessing

If you're just going to insult people in your vent thread, then you're better off venting in a text file.

Polite sage.

Anonymous 25927


You're calling us mentally ill and yet you're the one lashing out at everyone? Grow up, you sound like you're venting on tumblr, we're not a hugbox. If you need help, talk about your problem in detail. Sage'd.

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