/feels/ - Advice & Venting

>>26022
people here seem shy, what I dont get is why they make threads if they have no intention of replying

>>25325
I'm not OP, I'm just a simple miner - I see an email address, I google it. I'm sorry to read you got ghosted though. It's hard to strike up conversations when there's not much of a foundation to start with, I think. I was never successful with stuff like friend finder threads because it feels kind of contrived when I talk to them and then I sort of trail off.

>>26075
Not OP but…

>"yay, I got a reply to my post"
>write out ten variations of own reply
>erase everything because I think I sound stupid
>"let's try writing a better reply tomorrow"
>1 week later
>fuck it's too late and awkward now

>>26083
I understand, I posted that post in context to the replies ITT but didn't realize that miner gave a email address and was commenting on that and not the replies to this and I realized my mistake. I mustered up the courage in 3 days to respond to your post that responded to mine.

anyways back to OP; what did you mean by "hav to wait for years plus" did you mean in reference to therapy?

>>26083
Honestly this is so fuckin kawaii, crystal-tan memes now

>>26119
Are you OP or >>26056 ?

>>26124

I'm OP

>>26119
My dad had an opioid addiction. I learned it through my older brother because I was never really close to my dad. I can't remember exactly what it was, maybe methadone or oxycodone. He used be really aggressive and verbally abusive when he drank habitually too. I never forgave him for all that crap.

Also my brother turned into a bit of a meth addict, ruined him financially, but I think he's stopped now (maybe?) and - last time I saw him - he didn't look as bad as he did before.

I "dealt" with it all by just hiding away by myself. I don't recommend this approach as I don't feel it was a good way to resolve these issues (if it resolves them in any form at all). I was never close enough to either of them to have much sway over their actions and encourage something remedial. It doesn't sound like you're very close to your dad either, but if you love him then I hope you find a better solution than just waiting.

>>26129
Oh ok don’t worry anon we weren’t talking about you! >>26103 was talking about >>26056

>>26133

thanks for sharing. how did you hide?

yeah, i do still love him a lot, i think. i have been talking to him about every other day while he's in the hospital. tbh that's more than I've talked to him in the last few months combined though.

>>26134

aw thanks, ok. i got confused and defensive.

>>26147
Well, it's nice that you say that you don't find tall girls ugly and that you never said anything mean to any of us, but that doesn't change that I've been bullied for my height all my life. That certainly wasn't just in my imagination. If they downright tell me "I'm glad I'm not as tall as you." then how else should I interpret that other than being tall = bad, do not want?
I know that not every short girl and every tall and short guy out there does that, but there are still enough who do.

>>26147
>>26150
Ladies… people will find or invent any reason to criticize women, no matter what. Tall girls are bullied for being tall, and short girls are bullied for being short. Don't get mad at each other, get mad about the fact that there's no way for a girl to live her life without being relentlessly criticized.

As a six foot tall girl I used to feel bad that I would never be "cute", no one would ever scoop me up or cuddle me, I'd never be protected or fussed over. But I'm much more difficult to kidnap, and most men have to look up to make eye contact with me, which means I get treated with a lot more respect than my qt 4'11" friends. There are advantages and disadvantages for every height.

>>26152
There are plenty of studies that show that tall women (and short men) are the most disadvantaged when it comes to dating and I honestly don't care about the rest, I just would have wanted somebody to like me.

I'm tall and I've never been bullied by short girls, but I've been mocked by men.

>>26152
>most men have to look up to make eye contact with me
You're living my dream. Too bad I can't grow anymore.

>>26038
I'd say that's pretty tall depending on where you live. 170cm+ is considered tall for ladies where I live.
Anyway, good luck! I hope it works out.

>>26038
That's really tall unless you're a troon.

He probably wants a girl who knows it's not "persay."

>>26038

Did you end up asking him out? How did it go?

>persay
I realize this is not really helpful in regard to your problem, but it’s “per se” which literally means “by itself” in latin.

>>26047
Ahahah. I'm rude in real life, so I don't have anything I'm stopping myself from saying… I'm a bad role model

OP here. I realized I forgot to mention that the woman who sits next to me in that class is way too old to be going back to college and her voice sounds exactly like Sandy Cheeks.

Stop asking me for relationship advice if you’re not going to listen to me. Don’t tell me all about the boy you’re leading on if you’re not going to leave him for your bf because your bf has $$$. Don’t put every boy you talk to on your phone on a pedestal only to be disappointed when they don’t meet the image you set for them. Don’t be surprised that guy you were flirting with stopped talking to you because he didn’t want to be involved with a girl already in a relationship.

Stop telling me about how I need to get myself a white boy because they’re passive and I can be the one in control of the relationship when all of you are fucking miserable in your current relationships. Thanks for helping me realize that being single is better than being trapped with someone you hate.

>>26070
>way too old to be going back to college
One is never too old to expand one own's horizon. Humans are lifelong learners.

>>26071
do you ask yourself critically why you don't express this to your friends?

My name evokes the image of a bespectacled single German aunt over the age of 35.

I'm not happy with it, would prefer a cute and feminine name like Sophie, Anna or Lisa.

>>25980
Doris!

>>25964
>traditional name, witch
>Julia, Hedwig
You seem to have no idea about Europe, do you?

>>26009
Good guess but nope! I don't want to post it bc of muh internet safety.

>>26025
I'm literally from Europe. Just because you came from a different part of it doesn't mean you can be a smartass.

>>26018
No, but we've been talking about it.
I should probably tell him how I feel before I ever see him in person, otherwise I just don't know how I'd behave.

>>26020
Nah, wait until you've seen him in person before you tell him about your feelings. Maybe meeting him IRL will change your attraction towards him.

>>26023
I'm so scared that if I confess in person I'd embarrass myself horribly and make the rest of our time together terrible. At least if I do it online, there is an escape option.
Or worse, I don't trust myself not to touch him.

Rough. I was in a near identical situation a few years ago. It felt like meeting my soul mate, but he was mega gay. I chose to confess my feelings after about 6 months. He didn't react negatively, but he didn't feel the same at all. It seemed like the intimacy in our friendship died (he stopped being as open) and we drifted apart in a matter of weeks.
What he did makes sense to me since I have distanced myself from friends who were romantically interested. It made me question the motives of everything they did before and after.

I would recommend making a sincere effort to get over these feelings. Do what you want, though. I'm sure there's a success story to counter my failure. I'd like to hear how things go if you decide to tell him.

>>26024
I'm sorry if this question sounds rude, but what would be the point in confessing to him?
If he was straight, you could at least cling to a bit of hope that he'd accept your feelings towards him, but he's gay. G A Y. In the worst case, your friendship will fall apart like it happened to >>26044. But there wouldn't be a best case.

>>25895
Why is that anon?
lolcow has more boards then the gossip ones, those were the ones I mostly browsed.
And besides he wasn't a poster just found it through another board. Awful judgmental aren't you.

>>25923
That's just how website reputations work. Lolcow is associated with catty gossipers just how Reddit is associated with straight white guys and Facebook is associated with middle-aged dumb people.

>>25940
>>25923
>>25895
Lolcow was made for the specific purpose of discussing drama. Without the drama boards, it would be nothing. It's not just a matter of "reputation".

>>25943
And lolcow has plenty of people who don't use that side as well. Since the off topic boards can be more busy then the gossip ones. I mean thats where CC was born out of the off-topic lolcow side.

>>24836
Good for you OPssina.

>>25776
>pull a Christian act, and make her go insane from trying to hug her calm
I dont understand this part, could you explain?

>Keep your sister safe
I try, but being 10k km away and with sister pulling away from everyone in anger (and falling deeper down the anime+otaku friends+no studying rabbit hole), its hard

>>25780
>explain
Pulling the insano act of acting really nice. She sounds unstable enough. If you suddenly became nice to her, she could either break down or out to you. Disregard that. Protecting your sister is the number one priority in this scenario. Please close the distance and help her. I don't know what kind of freak I'd be, if I didn't have my siblings in contact with me 24/7. You're the closest thing to a friend that she has, and better at that. Please help her. Arrange your time for her. Anything. :(

>>25780
I agree with the other anon. Try to build a good relationship to your sister and give her the encouragement and compliments your mother doesn't seem to give her (that's what it sounds like to me). Your mother is probably stuck in her ways, reaching out to your sister is the better approach.

you cant change other peoples behavior. talk to your sister and tell her why your moms behavior isnt acceptable and let her know that you care about her in whatever way you can

>>25775
This is child abuse anon you need to report it

>>25921
See >>25913

>>25921
what. did. you. do.

>>25851
He probably loves you and is doing what's best for him. Apologising for something for which you're truly sorry is terrifying, in my experience. Knowing the person you were and wishing you weren't ever that person is hard enough, to admit that to someone makes you vulnerable. To have been so horrible to someone because you were young and immature, and to grow up knowing that you were that person and you've contributed to the sadness in this world, sorry isn't enough. You want to make up for it, but the reality is that there's often nothing you can do. They may forgive you, they may hate you, at the end of the day, you've made their lives worse by existing.

>doesn't explain properly what's wrong and everyone is left guessing
>lashes out at everyone because they're guessing

If you're just going to insult people in your vent thread, then you're better off venting in a text file.

Polite sage.

>>25926
This.
>>25921
You're calling us mentally ill and yet you're the one lashing out at everyone? Grow up, you sound like you're venting on tumblr, we're not a hugbox. If you need help, talk about your problem in detail. Sage'd.