/feels/ - Advice & Venting

ive been NEET for so long that i can’t even desire to make in person friends. where can i find (preferably girls) like me that need online friends?

cutting off 2 more people from my life, I feel like a wave has washed over me. In my 21 years of life ive had to cut of so many people and im glad i had the courage to do it. these people didnt give me the same energy back and that is ok, i dont deserve to put myself in a situation where im burdened by whats supposed to be a healthy friendship. ive learnt to not be dependent ony anyone except for myself after i left home at 17. ive been at my lowest lows and bounced back from them at full force, nothing can get me down. i hope my ex also knows i meant it when i said he couldnt hurt me, i mean it no one can hurt me ill always learn to turn the pain into power. ive still got alot of growing to do but i know im always going to be changing and improving like the world around me, humans arent made to be stagnant. the date is 31/10/2024 (happy halloween) and so far ive started working out and shaping my body into how id like to be viewed by the world, im studying towards cyber security and id love to work a remote job so i can see the world. Im not afraid of the future because i know whatever the world throws at me i will stay resiliant.

i hate being fat but at the same time i dont? my body is huge and it makes it hard to fit in and sometimes i feel like being fat makes me stand out a lot (which it probably does) and i really want to lose the weight. but, when trying to lose weight all of the resources are either like, annoying "hot girl walk" bs, or just borderline racist ed-having lana del rey girls.

like i said, i don't hate myself, so the shaming doesn't really work to motivate me. it's also not really stopping me from getting into a relationship or anything cause i have a guy online that i'm into and he likes me back. i've had sexual experiences but they've all been online (cause im too scared to ever approach a guy irl) and some of which were literally just getting groomed.

during marching band, there's girls who are in my section who make fun of each other for "being fat" (they aren't) but i never liked them in the first place so i dont really care.

i'm trying to lose weight now, but i'm not really sure that the end goal is totally worth it. i'd kill to be skinnier though, i'd love to be able to say that i'm a size 4 or whatever, but i feel like it'll never happen. idk,,, i guess im just wondering if anyone else feels the same.

subject sums this up. i have to start thinking about college, and i have no clue what to do and where i wanna go. i think i want to get a degree in communications, but i have no clue what college i want to go to. i told my mom about all of this last night, and she basically forced me to listen to a youtube video with her about going to ivy leagues. it was a girl talking about her experience and she said that her GPA was a fucking 4.9. you know what my mom said? "well, we know you're not getting into an ivy." i literally turned it off a few minutes later and told her "this video makes me want to kill myself" which was a joke, but it does fill me with an absolute sense of dread.

my parents have always pressure me into doing well in school, which i don't mind, i guess. but, they don't give me any guidance. it's not their fault because they both grew up poor, and neither of them finished college. but i still have had to live with these pressures my whole life and i don't feel like i can live up to them. i barely have any extracurricular. i have concert band, marching band, jazz band, less than a year as a social media manager for an ethnic club at school, and participation a community organization. i'm a completely average student. my gpa is a weighted 3.7 and an unweighted 3.5. i'm not gonna be able too get into any college. i would like to go to USouthern California (i think) but i doubt i'll be able to get in.

any nonas feeling the same way or have gone through the same thing? i've been thinking about volunteering at a local library, volunteering within the org i was talking about, starting a blog (and tiktok account to go with it), or possibly starting a small business

does anyone have something they would rely on to talk to people on the internet? I used to go on omegle a lot before it was shut down, it was fun to be able to talk to strangers without any real consequences, and depending on the tag you would put it the people weren't too bad. A lot of stereotypes. I feel like the new internet has made it so I can't really talk to anyone at all, I've found a new alternative omegleapp.me and it's still pretty terrible but I made a new female friend on there yesterday.

MY QUESTION is where do people do to actually talk to people? Everyone has told me twitter but I've not seen anyone really talking on there… I just don't get it.

What does a happy and healthy relationship look like?

>>51270 previous bread

I never brush my teeth for the full 2 minutes

so I found out my boyfriend cheated on me the other day and I didn't know for a whole fucking week and the only reason I found out is because my friend looked through his following and found someone and in their bio it said "taken by (his username)". he blocked me because he said it was for my safety because his old friends and exes were trying to dox him and me so I couldnt post him or say I'm dating him or anything and it actually hurts me so bad because I genuinely thought he cared Abt me but it turns out he just wanted to take my fucking virginity then find another bitch to manipulate into letting him use their body. he rushed things so fucking quick and it literally kills me to know he didn't love me the same way I loved him. I gave him a shoulder to cry on when his mom had kicked him out but he wouldn't do the same when I have having extreme mood swings and sobbing my eyes out, he wouldn't even care when I talked about my favorite things and all of that shit. he had used me. I let him take my virginity and I genuinely trusted him and showed him my body (which I'm literally so fucking insecure about) and he hurts me like that. I never EVER did ANYTHING for him to hurt me like that and he still did. I feel so fucking disgusting and gross that I let him do that to me. I haven't been able to feel happy and my friends think I'm mad at them and I'm not I'm just stressed and sad and just so many emotions and I feel like shit my grades are terrible and all of this shit is because of a boy I dated for four months. I dont know what I had done for him to treat me like that. I feel so gross knowing someone who saw me as an object was allowed to use me like one and I didn't even know.when we were having sex I thought it was intimate but he just wanted an object. that's all he wanted. I don't even know why he did that to me when he wanted me first. I deadass fucking hate this shit and Im about to go insane

I’m usually not into streaming websites or the whole streaming industry overall, about a month ago I’ve come across this small streamer who’s very good looking to say the least and have a good sense of humour, I started to watch his streams in a daily and interact within the community although he has very small number of viewers but it felt really nice to be a part of something, I honestly felt entertained and I felt like I blended in with the community pretty quickly. In chat people tend to say sexual things to him along the lines of “get undressed” or “start stripping” and he totally responds with more down bad things like “I’ll do that unless you send me a picture of-“ and stuff like that, Ive been doing exactly what everybody been doing and even started drawing him fanarts, he does react positively in stream and even set one of my fanarts as his phone’s wallpaper, later on he started texting me from time to time asking me how am I doing or asking if I could get in a vc with him, I declined at times but accepted at times, and the times we have a vc he act like an entirely different person, he does that baby voice and say cringe shit like “did you eat today?” Or “I miss you”, I thought it was just him being nice but it felt extremely cringe but I couldn’t ask him to stop. Since he has a very small number of views he complains mid stream about how he puts effort yet he gets no results (not alot of views) so he begs me for a call so I can comfort him and such. I pointed out to him two days ago that he’s so clingy and he apologized for that and said he will give me space. The next day he really didn’t, kept on begging for a vc all over again so I ghosted at this point. He’s a really good streamer ngl but I don’t want this to ruin our interactions in chat. How am I supposed to act in this situation?

>hate my job
>love seeing one coworker
>every day the only high point is when he talks to me
>my chest feels tight when he reacts to my work email messages
>I start remembering all his likes and dislikes
>sometimes he will see me at lunch
>”just checking in on you”
>I dream about him
I just want this feeling to die already.