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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

98F69533-1230-4597…

Anonymous 71367[Reply]

Told my online discord male friend that I spent New Year’s Eve getting wasted of champagne (made for parties) by myself in my room playing video games with toxic people and being toxic in video games because I’m bitter and hate people being part of a group that I’ll never be accepted in, and he said that it’s probably the highlight of my year lol, he said it was sad and that he didn’t wanna hear about it .
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 71412

He doesn’t sound like a friend to me. I’d ghost him after that.

Anonymous 71413

Sorry that happened to you anon. I’ve learned the hard way that you should never mention that you spent Xmas/birthday/etc alone to anyone nor let anyone see you alone on these days. People are so weirdly judgemental about people being alone.

Anonymous 71423

>>71369
I'd bet my liver she was hoping it'd go like:
>boo hoo nobody loves me I have no one in this world.
>nooo my queen I love you so much (as a friend haha) you're so perfect.

OP, I think you overestimated your relationship with the guy, he clearly doesn't see you as more than a casual acquaintance.
Also, you're never going to be a part of a group by being a bitch towards people, and you're only being a bitch so that you'll have an EXCUSE as to why you're not included.
You're terrified of being rejected despite trying, which is why you act like a bitch so that you have something else to blame, it's a coping mechanism.
t. been there

Anonymous 71435

All male discord "friends" I made never gave a single shit about any of my problems, they only wanted to vent at me about their life.

Anonymous 71450

maybe he doesn't want to do free emotional labour



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phrases to use when standing up for myself? Anonymous 64323[Reply]

Hi girls. Sometimes my bf will do or say something that I'm not comfortable with, and I get so scared of making him upset or worried that I don't tell him my feelings. I feel like it's easier to just accept it than break the barrier of voicing my thoughts. I also get scared to invite him to do things I think are fun because if he doesn't like it I'll just feel anxious and responsible for him not having a good time.
Obviously this is a problem and not sustainable but I literally don't even know where to start.
I grew up in an environment where telling people my needs didn't get me anywhere so now I feel like it's pointless. I don't want it to be a pattern in my relationships but I can't stop, it is drilled into my being to just accept whatever happens.
:( Help Me
7 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 70651

UPDATE
we are still together and it's going great but I still don't have any pics and at this point it is WAY too late to ask. I'm considering asking my friend to stealth take a pic of us if we ever hang out together

Anonymous 70652

>>70651
Losing my mind at this anon. Please just ask him, I don't think it's ever "too late."
You do sound like a sweetie though.

Anonymous 71345

UPDATE

He dumped me, thanks for being part of this thread with me everyone <3

Anonymous 71346

Just say what you are thinking. Don't try to find the right words. Just share your stream of consciousness with him. Just be very simple and straight-forward.

>I like that movie. Do you want to see it with me?

>I am not comfortable with you doing this. Please don't be angry at me.
>Let's take a picture of us

>>71345
woah okay
my condolences
I guess asking for a picture was bit too bold after all. lol

Anonymous 71361

>>71345
i was similar place anon my ex dumped me yesterday. u will find a guy who you’ll be comfortable around (-‸ლ)



22D37D71-D945-4FF7…

Pornsickness Anonymous 71164[Reply]

I became addicted to extreme pornography when I was a preteen. I was also heavily involved in porn-centric communities online up until last year. It fucked up my brain. I have explicit sexual thoughts running in my brain, against my will, all the time. I’m a virgin at 30 because exposure to hardcore porn made me terrified of sex. I can also only get off to rape fantasies. I avoid porn nowadays and I also tried therapy, but it hasn’t really helped.
Anyone in the same situation? How do you even deal with this?
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 71229

>>71164
I have a loving partner who wants sex regularly, but I'm addicted to porn, I prefer masturbating to it than sex. I thought I'd want sex but I don't. I'm similar to you, I got addicted when I was about 13. I never actually masturbated til I was 16 because of weird puritan things my parents told me about. Actually I used to just watch videos of sexual acts that didn't involve sex, because my parents never outlawed that, just sex, they always made me avert my gaze from sex scenes in movies.

But yeah I'm addicted to porn, I've 'given' it up a couple of times, but I always come back. The only way I managed to stop was just to become so busy and tired that I had no time for it. With a partner now, it seems even harder, because I can't forget about sex or masturbation. The only other way to stop is to just stop, I know this as well as it's psychology 101. As soon as you 'forbid' yourself from indulging in an addiction, you want it more. All you have to do is tell yourself "just one day without it, I can have it tomorrow, I can have it whenever I want, but I want to go one more day without it today". That's what I'm currently trying. Sorry for the incoherent ramblings.

Anonymous 71267

>>71207
>i can't even get a hookup on apps (i know they're bad but i don't have other outlets)

Why can't you meet men organically, may it be irl or online ? Are you socially isolated ? You may want to work on that first, before being able to feel healthy attraction towards males (or women), and get rid of the porn addiction. Always remember that having an addiction is a symptom of several life issues. I only believe in holistic recovery from addiction. If you don't fix, one by one, the other problems you have in life, you will never be able to get rid of that addictive behaviour. Even if you manage to get rid of your porn addiction, you will probably replace it with another.

>>71229
>I have a loving partner who wants sex regularly, but I'm addicted to porn, I prefer masturbating to it than sex
You're right, having a partner won't magically cure your porn addiction. The "manic pixie dream boy" simply doesn't exist. Do you feel more pleasure when masturbating than when having sex ? If yes, your addiction is correlated to this sexual frustration. Ofc, watching porn only exarcebates the initial problem, it's a vicious circle. The problem is that the easiest way to have more pleasure during sex is to mimic porn acts… it sucks.

Anonymous 71294

>>71267
>Why can't you meet men organically, may it be irl or online ?
not into men, dykes tend to have small dating pools especially when words like "lesbian" have been watered down to include transvestites and whatnot

>Are you socially isolated ? You may want to work on that first, before being able to feel healthy attraction towards males (or women)

i work full time, but am too busy to do things like go to clubs or the gym or hobby meetups. i am capable of visual attraction to women that isn't rooted in fetish but it's not explicitly sexual, but i figured that's something that would take time to develop

>and get rid of the porn addiction. Always remember that having an addiction is a symptom of several life issues. I only believe in holistic recovery from addiction. If you don't fix, one by one, the other problems you have in life, you will never be able to get rid of that addictive behaviour. Even if you manage to get rid of your porn addiction, you will probably replace it with another.


i agree with you, but i am >>71181, and in that post i mention i never touched live-action porn, i avoid those things now unless i see it accidentally on twitter, and tried to mask my shame with radical politics in the past. i also don't fit the typical description of a "porn addict" since i never masturbated or orgasmed to it, and i'm not reliant on porn to orgasm, it's just that my past indulgence in it has tainted my mind and therapists either didn't understand or thought my thoughts were "valid coping". i did trade my sexual obsessions for purity politics and trying to think for myself is something i'm working on now

Anonymous 71338

>>71267
>Do you feel more pleasure when masturbating than when having sex?
It honestly depends on the day. Sometimes sex feels great, but I'm never able to orgasm, it's like I psychologically choke. I think I prefer masturbating because it's more comfy; sex takes more effort and if I'm not in the mood then it's hard to get me in the mood.

Anonymous 71355

>>71164
The thing that stops me from looking at porn is the fact that there's a 50/50 chance that a random porn video is infact rape, childrape, nonconsensual videotaping or revenge porn.



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feeling like a teenager Anonymous 71151[Reply]

I'm about to turn 22 next year and it scares me
I'm in my first year of uni (dropped my previous major) and while there's only a two year difference between me and the others (some are old though) I can't shake the feeling that I'm so far behind them
They're renting their own flats while I'm living with my parents
I don't feel like an actual adult,
it's not that I'm emotionally stunted or something, I always felt more mature growing up and I believe it to be true to an extent
I find a lot of people my age and older to be immature and childish
But I don't feel like an adult, maybe it's because I was bullied growing up and didn't get to live out my teenage years?
I just feel like my youth is escaping me even though I'm doing all I can to make the most of it
I feel like I'm both sheltered and have been through too much
Maybe I'm just going to try online dating to pretend I'm like everyone else
7 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 71249

>>71247
Samefag but I have the same discord troubles. I feel like I move from group to group always feeling like a drifter lol. Lots of places give me "secret sex dungeon" vibes.

Anonymous 71250

>>71248
Heh, glad you found friends on it though… maybe if I weren't so terrified of meeting people online when I were younger I wouldn't be so lonely.

>>71249
Exactly the feeling I get lol. I join and everyone's already good friends with each other and I feel like the third wheel while they discuss stuff I don't care about.

Maybe I need to try Bumble BFF again. Last time I checked, it was all hyper normie girls looking for party buddies. I'd be fine with an introverted friend, or anyone other than a party-type normie, but with all this covid stuff no one wants to meet, and if they do they want you to be vaxxed.

Anonymous 71255

Pretty much this tho. I'm in my mid 30s, married with 3 kids, and as far as I can tell I'm the same person I was when I was 12.

Anonymous 71256

>>71255
I think this is normal and how most people feel. Most people feel like kids trapped in an adult body. My grandma complained to me that she feels like a teen but she looks in the mirror and sees an 80 year old.

Everyone at every stage of life feels kind of out of their depth and like a fake adult. I think it's cos we spend our first 20 years as a kid, so "kid" becomes our identity.

Anonymous 71335

>>71151
Wow are you me??? Turning 21 in a few days and I'm going through the exact same situation :/



7C30CFF6-56B8-4C27…

help 71309[Reply]

my ex was a pillar of support for me and i got so attached to him i thought he was my soulmate and when we broke up i was depressed all month but its been like 7 months since we stopped talking and now he’s dating a fucking ugly disgusting waste of space whore and it’s not like i care about his ass anymore but i just want them to break up in the most traumatic way. any advice on how to make it happen :3 ? also she called me desperate and a slut even though i didnt so shit
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 71312

you sound underage

71314

>>71312
and what if i sound underage are you mad because ur 30???

Anonymous 71316

>>71314
Cringe I almost hope you're a larping male

Anonymous 71318

>are you mad because ur 30???
>waste of space whore
>:3
kek are you a troon who got rejected by another scrote?

Anonymous 71320

stalking your ex on social media is not a good idea for your own mental health, OP …



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Funny Feels Anonymous 1098[Reply]

Can we have a thread to make our fellow sisters laugh? Post jokes, memes, funny videos, gifs, anything humorous!
16 posts and 10 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 1366

>>1362

Pet owners disgust me.

Anonymous 1367

>>1331
You got a sensible chuckle out of me, I do so doff my cap to you m'lady.

Anonymous 1383

Door Pun.jpg


Anonymous 71277

Why do you hate a nosy pepper?
>It gets jalapeno business.

Anonymous 71302




4CB3B090-A91D-4994…

Anonymous 68294[Reply]

Why am i such a loser? I feel like im going to waste my life but doing things is so hard for me. And all my friends (online) make fun of me and mock me.
7 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

Anonymous 68470

>>68300
Just do it anon. I blocked and ghosted one of my only online "friends" who would insult me constantly and yeah I was lonely for a bit, but it felt so much better than being put down every day.

Anonymous 71251

>>68294
You're OK anon

Anonymous 71259

>>68449
who would want to be the same as you dumbass lol

Anonymous 71260

Parasocial relationships aren’t real
Everyone has forgotten about this
With in person, real interaction, the person has to talk behind their back using other means which now includes technology
They have to try to mask their emotions when you can see their face
They are in front of you
On the internet there’s none of these restrictions so all the worst behavior is easier

These people are not real friends
Seek out friends in real life

Anonymous 71269

>>71260
That's not the definition of a parasocial relationship.



95499A74-E40F-4326…

Anonymous 71108[Reply]

This time of year is special for majority of folks, but it’s just arbitrary to me and I’m sure other anons on here too. It reminds me that each year has been the same for me, I move but I feel stagnant and numb. Nothing changes, I might change (physically, hair, lose weight, change my style, get a new career) but inwards I stay the same, numb and apathetic. I should be happy, I need to be happy? I’m privledged and I don’t mean the fake “white privledge” because it isn’t real, it’s just guilt. I haven’t felt anything since I can remember, all signs point me to death, ut feels like that you know? It’s like what is the universe or God telling me?… to die, he wants me dead, I’m void of emotion. It feels like I wake up just to wake up, I don’t even know if I’m alive sometimes.

Anonymous 71120

This sounds like you should talk to someone and figure out the root cause.

Anonymous 71234

>>71120
I have a therapist, it didn’t help



7622C400-1E44-4554…

Anonymous 71114[Reply]

I feel guilty about drinking beers every 2 weeks? I don’t drink every single day consecutively (despite me wanting to do this) but I sometimes go on light drunken benders at home by myself in my room, for example I once drank back to back 3 days straight (not the entire day just at night) and I had like 5 beers every night for those 3 days. Then I didn’t drink for a month. My family also guilts me into feeling bad for drinking a lot of alcohol despite our father being an abusive alcoholic. I haven’t drank for 2 weeks now and I’m trying to hold out until New Year’s Eve, so I can have my Prosecco 🍾 lol, alcohol is the only thing that brings me joy

Anonymous 71115

Its probably because your fathers an alcoholic that they're worried. Maybe they see him in you. Thing is that's not even very much alcohol. Maybe try drinking more regularly to even things out? Drink they way normal people do so you stop being this repressed guilt-ridden obsessive. I think not drinking the way normal people do is going to make you even worse.

1 -2 drinks a day.

Anonymous 71223

>>71115
So you’re saying I should drink more often to even it out?



20201217_095945.jp…

weed addiction Anonymous 71203[Reply]

I hate this, "hurr durr it's not addictive it's a plant bro, it's not a hard drug bro, lmao just take a hit" fuck off, I wasted years of my life and so much fucking money melting my brain so I wouldn't have to face reality because it was the only drug I had easy access to. you wouldn't say this shit to an alkie that drinks every day to cope, why is daily smoking not treated the same way? fuck anyone that laughs at those who say they're addicted. you may not get physically addicted like with hard drugs but it's 100% possible to be dependent on it mentally. christ on a cracker

Anonymous 71212

It's probably not good for younger people either. That's why I refuse to touch it until I'm older. I'm already retarded as is, and I don't want to make it worse.

Anonymous 71214

>>71203
You can become addicted to anything in a habit forming way. People get addicted to gambling and there is no substance being consumed there.

I hate that everyone is so lax about it these days and ignoring how much it fries your brain just because it's now being monitised as a medicine. It's still substance abuse. I don't understand why it being accepted for medical use has now made it acceptable/legal for recreational use and self medication.

Plus everyone ignores how much (modern) slavery is involved in these things if it's not legal in your country.

Anonymous 71218

>>71212
good, stick to that! I started at 16 and regret it a lot. at least wait until you're 25 before taking any substances

>>71214
>Plus everyone ignores how much (modern) slavery is involved in these things if it's not legal in your country.
can you elaborate on this? it's legal where I am so it's not something I've ever thought about

Anonymous 71221




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